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3desiderium3 · 3 years

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For your love

chapter five - On my own

[ series masterlist ]

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pairings : reader x damiano david

story summary : damiano and reader are in very loving relationship that sometimes almost too quickly becomes too toxic for anyone likings

chapter warning (s) : this is sad i made myself sad

" It was a pretty rough night not gonna lie .. She barely managed to fall asleep around 8 am . I woke up a few times to check upon her cause she had her nose clogged from all that crying . "

Victoria said over phone to Thomas .

It was around one in the noon . She was frying some eggs and vegetables for her and Y/N to eat .

" How did it went over there ? " "Jesus I wish I knew honestly . "

Thomas admitted sighing .

" When he came here last night he was crying . Like really hard . It took him 30 minutes to calm down and tell me what he did .. " " And ? " " I tried punching him in the face but I ended up hurting my hand more . " Vic chuckled upon the thought of Thomas hitting someone , especially Damiano .

" And I don't know he just continued to cry and smoke cigs . I swear to Jesus he smoked like whole 3 packs in one night . I am not sure when he fell asleep or if he did . But there was not much talking here trust me . "

Both of them went silent . Not being able to choose one side . Both Y/N and Damiano where their long known friends and dear people in general .

" Y/N is more than my best friend . She is my family . I would do anything that I can to keep her safe , just like with you . That's why I am feeling so guilty upon meeting her with Damiano. "

" Hon' it was not your fault remember ? " The other line was silent .

" Have you ever wondered how it would look like if they didn't end up together ? "

" Yeah .. I mean maybe .. You know I did often when I found myself in between their arguments . "

" Pft please , they where soft near you comparing to their usual . "

Thomas lighted up his cigarette , the sound of him taking a drag was pretty clear .

" I almost left the band cause of them remember ? At that period Damiano and I had lots of small fights and arguments . "

Vic turned off the stove placing the food in plates skillfully.

" Hold up I need to give Y/N breakfast . " " Aight I'm waitin' . "

" Babes are you awake ? " The blond girl called out for her friend . Y/N was laying on her side of the bed , all the sheets and pillows where thrown in the corner of the room . She didn't wanted anything that smelled like Damiano near her . Instead she slept on bare mattress , Victoria's traveling pillow and she covered herself with the blanket from living room .

" I am not hungry yet , can you just please leave the plate here ? "

" Sure I'll be downstairs . Just call . "

No respond , she just closed the door behind her after glancing at Y/N last time .

Vic was cleaning the stinky apartment whole morning , it was not bothering her in fact . She knew Y/N would do the same for her .

" Tom you there ? " She cooed once her phone was in her grasp again . " Yeah yeah I was talking to Damiano . " " Is he alright ? " " I am not sure really . I think not obviously , but now after this I am not expecting anything normal from him ever again . " " Oh come on it was a - " " If you just dare to finish the sentence I will kill you . How can that be an accident ?? Rape is not an accident ! He was fully aware Victoria !! " " Pshh be quite you idiot ! " She tried hushing her friend after turning around herself paranoid like someone overheard their conversation .

" He is showering now don't worry . We should not be taking sides on this one but Vic .. He is not good for her ... Neither is she for him .. This is lasting for 3 years .. Remember ? "

" Don't fucking remind me . "

Silence . Both of them trying to understand the policy of their friends relationship .

" He threatened to kill himself so many times if she leaves him .. "

" She was so heartbroken each time that she was the one actually considering suicide . "

" I remember one time they had some huge fight as always and she came to my house in like 3 am crying and talking some nonsenses . "

" They never had a filter , especially around us , sometimes it gets just too tiring ya know ? "

" They made me and Ethan cry so many times Jesus Vic you have the biggest nerve here . " Her friend admitted with chuckle.

" Should we like ... talk to them each day and convince them to break up ? "

Deadly silence .

One was sure . Y/N and Damiano shouldn't ever be together again .

" Are we bad friends for doing this ? " " Pft please , we are doing service to everyone . "

" I am so confused and so worried for Y/N , I will talk to Damiano later and then call you to see if something improved and to update you . How is Y/N feeling now ? "

" Not so good bro , I think she is considering that breakup as well . Everything is still so confusing and not in order . "

" Alright Vic , gonna call later , bye love you . "

" Love you too bye . "

* meanwhile in Thomas house *

Thomas hanged up his half hour long conversation with Victoria . He rubbed his eyes hardly throwing the cellphone on the kitchen table where he was standing smoking .

To be honest he was also crying with Damiano last night . He couldn't imagine the amount of pain Y/N was suffering . His still pulsing bruised hand started to feel a bit better . He regretted only hitting Damiano , but they all knew he was the weakest out of all boys in the group .

Damiano was laying in his bed dressed in his chlotes fresh out of shower.

Crying again .

It was slowly starting to make Thomas mad .

' Why didn't he cry last night when he abused her? '

" Oi , whats the matter now ? Why are you crying again ? Cause you are an asshole or complete idiot ? " " Thomas shut the fuck up . I am not capable of having that conversation . " Damiano's voice was raspy and cracked .

" Well we are gonna have this conversation , in fact right now . Where where your tears last night when you raped her ? " " It wasn't ra -" " It was ! You fucked her without her consent ! What the fuck where you thinking ! "

" I DON'T KNOW WHAT I WAS THINKING ! "

He stood up from the bed crying his bottom lip shaking .

" I DON'T FUCKING KNOW ! I WAS MAD AT HER ! MICHAEL WAS THERE ! I HAD THE WORST SCENARIOS RUNNING THROUGH MY HEAD I GOT SCARED ! "

Thomas was in slight shock . Was Damiano really that dumb ?

" Are you serious ? I can't actually believe how selfish and egoistic you are . You raped my best friend because you got mad at her that her ex was there ? "

This was actually the first time in 3 years someones words affected Damiano about his behavior towards Y/N . He sat back on the bed holding his head in his hands .

" I took you in cause I care about you . You are my friend . But I will never forgive you this . You can stay here as much as you want but don't expect any special treatment from me . "

" Should I call her ? I must apologize . "

Thomas snorted .

" No . You must not apologize , you must beg her on your knees to forgive you . You must beg her to even look at you . I know I wouldn't if I was her . No matter what you do she will love you forever and that is the problem . "

Damiano was highly affected by his friends words. In his mind he was only picturing whimpering Y/N whose head he was holding down with his hand , her tears where soaked up on that backseat .

'I will rather die than look her in the eyes again.'

* meanwhile in Y/N's house *

" Are you sure I am not bothering ? I can always ask Thomas to stay with him ? " Y/N asked Victoria while both of them where packing some of Y/N's stuff in the suitcase .

" Yeah absolutely , we are going to spend some quality time healing and having fun . "

Y/N made her final decision , she was going to break up with Damiano this time for real .

She didn't have that much of her stuff , all the clothes , jewelry , letters , poems and all the other gifts she received from Damiano she placed in on huge box and left it on the center of their bed .

" Can I tell Thomas you are staying with me ? "

"Yes but alarm him not to tell Damiano .. I do not wanna hear a word from him . "

Vic simply nodded and in a less than an hour they where all packed leaving the past behind .

* three weeks later *

Things where only worse for our lovers .

Damiano heard no word from Y/N and neither did she from him .

She was expecting it to be honest .

Everyday was same as the other . Too long , too cold and filled with cigarette smoke .

All Y/N did was sometimes leave her room when she didn't wanted to offend Vic after putting effort into preparing the meal , she would listen to whatever record Victoria had , smoke all the cigarettes till she vomited , drink vodka away from her roommates sight and cry herself everyday regretting her whole relationship .

' He never fucking loved me .. I cheated on Michael with him just so he could fuck me over .. He never loved me .. He was just obsessed and he wanted me in his possession '

The fact Damiano didn't try reaching her was painful , it was providing sharp stings in her chest and it gave her headaches .

She saw him in every song , he was always on her mind . She wished she could delete all the memories and feelings just like she deleted the pictures . . .

Damiano was not much different than her .

He was also crying a lot , smoking a lot , not drinking but overthinking . He didn't knew Y/N moved out .. No one understood why it took him 3 weeks to try and reach her .

He didn't understood either .

He was trying to come up with the perfect apologize . He wanted to show her he was willing to do better . Willing to change . To prove her he was ready to change . He was sure that Y/N wouldn't return his calls . She understood her . He expected her to be mad and stubborn she had every reason to be .

Thomas was barely speaking to him . Only some formalities . Måneskin was put on hold their rehearsals , Vic and Thomas being very strict in their communication with Damiano while Ethan was very confused and unsure of what is going on .

Damianos mom and Y/N's parents also weren't included in the situation .

The day he planned on returning home , so sure that he would be greeted by her embrace , came .

He shaved his face for the first time in 3 weeks , he changed his underwear for the first time in 3 weeks , he wore simple suit and he drove all the way into the depths of the town to buy the most glorious flowers that his Y/N loved .

He wasn't planning on just winning her over with some flowers and gifts , or the dialog he practiced in his head and in front of his mirror .

Upon reaching the yard of their house he frowned . There was something different . Something wrong . .

He was walking slowly , looking all around himself , gripping the bouquet of flowers in his sweaty palm .

He stood in front of the door .

It was wrong . Something was wrong .

His mind scream . He hoped he was very paranoid once again .

His hand rose up to ring the door bell . He was nervous and afraid .

You are being worried for no reason .

He kept reasurinf himself.

So he rang .

Once

Twice

Four times . Four long times .

No one opened .

Was she home ? After all he came unannounced . Maybe she is sleeping ?

" Y/N! Y/N it's me ! Please open the door ! "

He was starting to sweat .

He searched with his shaking hands through his pocket to find the house keys . He unlocked the door . The house was empty and cold .

It was not smelling like her . Cause there was no one , she wasn't home . Not for an hour , not for the day , not here in a while .

He kept calling for her . " Y/N ! " He dropped the keys and flowers on the kitchen table .

He started roaming the house in panic . Even trying to sense some sort of smell . He was afraid she killed herself so his nose searched for the rotting corpse smell.

Every bad scenarios possible went through his head .

He ran towards their room . Empty .

Even their pets weren't there . She was gone .

Y/N left him . For real this time . For good .

He started to breath heavily . Tears forming in his eyes . The big box on their bed .

Inside of it all his gifts to her . All his clothes she loved wearing . He took one hoodie she often every time she was cleaning . He placed it under his nose . It still held her scent . Her ghost was there , in the shape of the memories one cardboard box held .

He was crying , repeating her name , calling it out . Kissing her dresses and watering them with tears .

He was on his own . There was no one he wanted more than her . He realized what he had once he lost it . He was alone for the first time .

taglist : @ella-nordstrm3 , @urskaa , @lovelysaltyland , @littleachaos , @whoreforhenrycavill , @13journals , @onceuponparrilla , @21nell , @davedace101 , @vainbimbo , @aliyeaz , @vandafabryova , @miriampraez , @foggyhottubcandy , @daringovangel , @inr89

#damiano david #damiano maneskin #maneskin #italy #zitti e buoni #eurosong #eurovision #eurovision 2021 #eurovision italy #victoria de an #ethan torchio #thomas raggi #fanfic #sad #romance #relationship #breakup #lovers

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mvrtaiswriting · 3 years

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We were 18. - Jotaro Kujo.

Me?? Posting something about Jotaro?? How strange. This piece of work is also dedicated to two of my comfort characters, Kakyoin and Joseph. This artwork is really important to me, it really holds a special place in my heart so.. enjoy!

Neutral reader x Jotaro Kujo

Jojo’s bizzare adventures: Stardust Crusaders (spoilers)

SFW | fluff

Trigger warning: usual jojo violence, reference to grief, insomnia.

Word count: 1760.

The ‘continue reading’ button is there for space purposes, to make the reader avoid any possible spoiler and/or sensible topics.

Hi! Are you a new reader? Check my masterlist for more content!

Please feel free to reblog or leave a comment :) help me support my art (it’s free!),

Since you returned from your tumultuous trip in Egypt, your life has never been the same. Once you came back to your hometown, not a moment passed by when you didn’t remember the terrible scenes you’ve witnessed during the fight with Dio. The memory of Kakyoin’s death was still so vivid in your mind and the more you tried to shake that thought out of your head, the more you kept reliving it – over and over again.

There were times when you swore you saw Kakyoin among a crowd of people; times when you could just hear his voice calling your name. Every time you closed your eyes Avdol, Kakyoin and Iggy were there. You barely slept anymore – most of the times you did so, you had nightmares about what happened in El Cairo. You lost count of how many nights you have spent crying in your bed, curled up in between your sheets in the silence of your lonely house. Living alone didn’t help; you were used to sneak into one of the crusaders’ room whenever you needed a shoulder to cry on or, simply, a place where you could feel safe. It wasn’t unusual for you to wake up squished between Kakyoin and Jotaro or trapped in one of Joseph bear-hugs. But now, you were thousands of kilometres away from the rest of the group, alone in your cold bedroom. There was no one to go to, and no one you could talk about how you felt. It was just you and your painful memories. No one would understand what you’ve been through – how could they? How could you ever explain how intense the 50 days you spent with the crusaders had been?

Another nightmare woke you up, as per usual. You gasped loudly as if you just started to breathe again after a long apnea and quickly sat down in the middle of your bed, holding onto your sheet. You started shaking as your chest moved up and down with rapid movements trying to catch your breath, tears streaming down your face. You were staring at the void in your pitch-dark room, trying to control your sobs and make yourself realise that you were back to reality. You stretched one of your arms to reach the lamp on your bedside table, curling yourself up while you slowly started to calm down. Wiping out the tears from your cheeks with your jumper’s sleeve, you finally dragged yourself out of bed and slowly went to the kitchen, making yourself some tea.

As you sat down to drink your hot beverage hoping it would bring you some comfort, you started to rehearse your dream - as if you could just replay it in your head as one would normally do with songs or movies. It wasn’t very different from any other dreams you had.

Kakyoin’s body was lying lifeless against the roof Dio had thrown him onto, his expression crippled by the excruciating pain he must have felt. An enormous wound had completely swept away part of his body, leaving a big opening in the middle of it. You were screaming at him at the top of your lungs, begging him to spare the last bit of energy he had left in his body. But the ending was the same every damn time; he would use his last breath to reveal to Joseph the secret of The world, Dio’s Stand, and launch his last attack with Emerald Splash. You woke up every time you tried to reach Kakyoin’s body. You were never able to say goodbye to him - not even in your dreams. The same thing happened with Avdol and Iggy too. You never got the chance to see them one last time, because you were busy fighting elsewhere.

You sighed loudly, stopping yourself from having another breakdown and sipping some tea from your cup. It was in that exact moment, that the phone rang. It was 3:00 AM where you lived, so you expected one of the boys to be on the other end of the telephone. You and the rest of the crusaders exchanged your numbers the last time you saw each other at the airport and had kept in contact ever since. To your surprise, the person you talked the most was Jotaro. You were about the same age and had created a strong bond during your trip, even if you would have never bet on it. Kakyoin used to always joke about your crush on Jotaro, always encouraging you to give it a shot. But things turned out to be too frenetic and dangerous to engage any sort of romantic relationship. Despite that, you would never miss a chance to sit next to each other or just spend most of the time together. The two of you even kissed at one point, but never talked about it again – not even during your strangely long phone calls.

Crawling your feet on the floor of your kitchen, you got up and finally answered the phone: “Hello?”

“Hey.” Jotaro’s deep voice replied. “How come you’re awake? It’s late where you are.” he added.

“You called. Is this a good excuse?” you said lightly laughing, trying to hide the sadness in your voice.

When the sun rose, you were still talking to Jotaro. He asked you about your dream – he knew about your insomnia and your recurring nightmares and just wanted to be there for you. He wasn’t the best at comforting, and most of the time he never dared to say a word; but you knew it was a sensible topic for him too, and the fact that he would let you confide in him was more than enough.

“It’s a big deal for me too.” he said. You just hummed, allowing him to talk freely about what was going on inside his head – and heart. “Sometimes I can barely breathe. I just wish everything was over.” he cut short, clearing his throat immediately after finishing his sentence. Hearing those words from him just broke your heart; he always showed himself as a cold, calm and collected person and never allowed his emotions to have the best of him. He could often come off as an emotionless brute, but you knew it was all a façade that hid a more sensible and soft side of him. A comfortable silence fell between the two of you, only broken by the sound of your breaths. “Don’t hang up.” you said ultimately, letting out a big sigh.

“I won’t. I’m here.” His voice replied, sounding velvet through the telephone.

The plane landed after what felt like an eternity, the flight from your country took countless hours to arrive in Japan. At the airport, a member of the Speedwagon foundation was waiting for you, Holly standing next to him. As soon as you got closer to them, Holly quickly fell into your arms, hugging you tightly. ‘I’m so glad you’re here!’ she squeaked, while cupping your cheeks in her hands and showering you with affection. You let out an embarrassed laugh, and after that warm welcome you finally reached the car. You seated in the backseat, tiredly resting your head against the window of your car’s door. You took a quick look at the clock and closed your eyes, trying to get some rest.

When you arrived, Holly gently woke you up. The car was parked in front of the Kujo’s residence, the place where it all started. A fast sequence of memories flashed in front of your eyes as you meticulously watched the house in front of you, remembering exactly how you felt when you arrived the first time, and how you felt when you left. Holly placed and hand on your shoulder and nodded, indicating to you Jotaro’s room. “He wasn’t in a great mood today, he hasn’t been in a while” she said hopelessly. “Just excuse him if he speaks to you rudely.” she added, feeling sorry for the harsh manners her son always displayed. You reassured her smiling, before walking to his room.

Once you stood in front of his door, your heart started beating so loud. A part of you was dying to see the boy you heart belonged to, the other was afraid to see him broken into pieces. But that was the reason why you went there in the first place. You didn’t want to leave him alone anymore. He needed a shoulder to cry on as much as you did – maybe more, if it was possible. You had to be there.

Taking a deep breath, you knocked on the door. Heavy footsteps came your way before the door opened, revealing Jotaro’s figure towering over you.

“(Y/N)? What are you doing he-“ he tried to ask, before getting interrupted by your hug; you almost pushed yourself against his body, making him take a step back to not lose balance. You wrapped your arms around his strong torso, breathing in his perfume and holding him as close as humanly possible to you. Being in his arms felt like being at home – a feeling you hadn’t experienced in a while. It wasn’t long before Jotaro reciprocated your hug, hiding his face into your hair and leaving a soft kiss on your head. He closed the door behind you and just held you in his embrace, enjoying the wonderful feeling of being reunited with you. “You don’t know how much I missed you.” he said, not even trying to let you go. You hinted a small laugh, rubbing his muscled back with your right hand. “I can imagine.”, you replied. He slowly distanced himself from you, placing his hands over your cheeks, staring at you with his eyes full of tears. He was scanning every inch of your face and figure, almost as if he wanted to convince himself that you were real, that you were there. He rested his forehead on yours, locking his gaze on yours, making it impossible to break eye contact. “I don’t want to lose you anymore” you whispered. “You saved my life so many times, in so many ways. I always thought it was the wrong time, I always ran away from my feelings but..” you continued, but before you could finish your sentence, he quickly put his lips on yours – shutting you up with a kiss. You could feel tears running on his face. You grabbed the fabric of his shirt and pulled him closer to you, reciprocating the kiss.

“I have loved you since we were 18.” he whispered.

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dailytomlinson · 3 years

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While many artists would jump at the chance to tell you how lockdown has been a fruitful opportunity for self-improvement, full of pseudo self-help books and pompous podcasts, former One Directioner Louis Tomlinson is adamant that he has done, well, nothing.

“I’ve just watched loads of s___ TV,” he says after a long pause. “The Undoing is decent, isn’t it?”

Twenty-eight--year-old Tomlinson from Doncaster was always the down-to-earth Directioner, frequently describing himself as fringe member who spent more time analysing the band’s contracts than singing solos, known for chain-smoking his way through several packs of cigarettes a day and swearing like a trooper. A rarity, these days, among millennials who’d rather suck on a stem of kale and tweet about their #blessings.

He's getting ready to rehearse an exciting one-off gig that will be live-streamed from a secret London location on December 12, announced today exclusively via the Telegraph. The proceeds of the night will be split across four charities: The Stagehand Covid-19 Crew Relief Fund and Crew Nation, Bluebell Wood Children’s Hospice and Marcus Rashford’s charity FareShare, to help end child poverty.

The gig means a great deal to Tomlinson, whose first ever tour as a solo artist, to promote his debut solo album WALLS, was cut short back in March after just two concerts in Spain and Mexico. It was an album he’d spent five years working on: a guitar-led project that ruptured with the preppy pop anthems of One Direction, inspired instead by Tomlinson’s love for Britpop.

No doubt he was anxious to get it right following a decade “grown in test tubes”, as Harry Styles once described the band’s formation on the X Factor, where they came third before going on to make a reported $280,000 a day as the most successful band in the world. The pressure, too, was intense: all four bandmates had already released their own solo debuts.

Was he left reeling, I ask, unable to perform at such a crucial moment?

“The thing that I always enjoyed the most about One Direction was playing the shows, so my master plan, when I realised I was going to do a solo career, was always my first tour. It’s something I’ve been looking forward to for the best part of five years now. I got so close, I got a taste for it, and it’s affected me like everyone else, but I’m forever an optimist,” he says down the phone, with what I can only imagine to be a rather phlegmatic shrug.

Sure, I say, but the last year can’t have been easy. Didn’t he feel like his purpose had popped?

“You know what,” he says, reflecting, “maybe because I’ve had real dark moments in my life, they’ve given me scope for optimism. In the grand scheme of things, of what I’ve experienced, these everyday problems...they don’t seem so bad.”

Tomlinson is referring to losing his 43-year-old mother, a midwife, to leukemia in 2016, and his 18-year-old sister Felicite, a model, to an accidental drug overdose in 2018. The double tragedy is something he has been open about on his own terms, dedicating his single, Two of Us, from WALLS, to his mother Johannah, while often checking in with fans who have lost members of their own family.

It’s not unusual for Tomlinson to ask his 34.9 million followers if they’re doing alright, receiving hundreds of thousands of personal replies. It’s not something he will discuss in interviews, however, after he slammed BBC Breakfast for shamelessly probing his trauma in February this year. “Never going back there again,” he tweeted after coming off the show.

“Social media is a ruthless, toxic place, so I don’t like to spend much time there,” says Tomlinson, “but because of experiencing such light and shade all while I was famous, I have a very deep connection with my fans. They’ve always been there for me.”

In return, Tomlinson is good to them. Last month he even promised some new music, saying that he’d written four songs in four days. Does this mean that a second album is on the way?

“Yeah, definitely,” he says. “I’m very, very excited. I had basically penciled down a plan before corona took over our lives. And now it's kind of given me a little bit of time to really get into what I want to say and what I want things to sound like. Because, you know, I was really proud of my first record, but there were moments that I felt were truer to me than others. I think that there were some songs where I took slightly more risk and owned what I love, saying, ‘This is who I want to be’. So I want to take a leaf out of their book.”

Fans might think he’s referring to writing more heartfelt autobiographical content such as Two of Us, but in fact, he’s referring specifically to rock-inspired Kill My Mind, he says, the first song on WALLS. “There’s a certain energy in that song, in its delivery, in its attitude, that I want to recreate. People are struggling at the moment, so I want to create a raucous, exciting atmosphere in my live show, not a somber, thoughtful one.”

He sighs, trying to articulate something that’s clearly been playing on his mind for a while. “You know, because of my story, my album was a little heavy at times and a little somber. And as I'm sure you're aware, from talking to me, now, that isn't who I am.”

It must be draining, I say, the weight of expectation in both the media and across his fanbase, to be a spokesperson for grief and hardship. To have tragedy prelude everything he does and says.

“Honestly, it’s part of being from Doncaster as well, I don’t like people feeling sorry for me. That’s the last thing I want.”

Too many incredible memories to mention but not a day goes by that I don't think about how amazing it was. @NiallOfficial @Harry_Styles @LiamPayne @zaynmalik . So proud of you all individually.

The problem is, says Tomlinson, he doesn’t have the best imagination. “I have interesting things to say musically, but what’s challenging from a writing perspective is that I write from the heart, and I can’t really get into someone else’s story. And right now, being stuck at home, you have so little experience to draw from. It’s actually quite hard to write these positive, uplifting songs, because actually, the experiences that you're going through on a day to day basis, you know, you they don't have that same flavour.”

There is something that’s helping, though: a secret spot near Los Angeles, where he divides his time. “It’s remote and kind of weird, and I’m going to go there for three days and write. I don’t know why I’m so drawn to it. I found it via a YouTube video. It’s got some very interesting locals who live there, it’s sort of backwards when it comes to technology. It feels like you’re going back in time when you’re there. But I don’t want to give it away.”

Another source of inspiration for his second album is the Red Hot Chili Peppers’ back catalogue. “I grew up on their album Bytheway. And during lockdown I've been knee deep in their stuff. I’ve watched every documentary, every video. And I find their lead guitarist John Frusciante just fascinating.”

Has he spoken to Frusicante?

“I f______ wish,” snorts Tomlinson.

Surely someone as well-known as Tomlinson could easily get in touch?

“No, honestly, I think he’s too cool for that. He’s not into that kind of thing.”

Tomlinson’s passion for all things rock is also spurring on a side hustle he picked up as a judge on the X Factor in 2018: managing an all-female rock band via his own imprint on Simon Cowell’s Syco label. While the group disbanded before releasing their first single, and Tomlinson split from Syco earlier this year, the singer is keen to nurture some more talent.

“I'm not gonna lie, my process with my imprint through Syco, it became challenging and it became frustrating at times,” Tomlinson says a little wearily. “The kind of artists that I was interested in developing – because I genuinely feel through my experience in One Direction, you know, one of the biggest f______ bands, I feel like I've learned a lot about the industry – they weren’t ready-made. So I had lots of artists that I took through the door that were rough and ready, but major labels want to see something that works straight away. I found that a little bit demotivating. I love her and she's an incredible artist, but not everyone is a Taylor Swift.”

Tomlinson spends much of his free time scouting new talent either on YouTube, Reddit or BBC Introducing – he’s currently a huge fan of indie Brighton band, Fickle Friends. His dream is to manage an all-female band playing instruments. “Because there's no one in that space. And I know eventually if I don't do it, someone else will!”

Before he drives off to rehearsals, we chatter about how much he's been practising his guitar playing, and how he can't wait to take the whole team working at his favourite grassroots venue, The Dome in Doncaster, out ice-skating after he performs there on his rescheduled tour. “Because I've got skills,” he says, and I can hear his chest puff.

And then I ask the question every retired member of One Direction has been batting off ever since they broke up in 2015, after Zayn Malik quit. Rumours that his bandmates saw him as a Judas went wild after some eagle eyes fans noticed they’d unfollowed him on Instagram. Payne, Tomlinson, Horan and Styles have barely mentioned him since. Recently, however, they re-followed him, and Payne has teased that a One Direction reunion is on the cards.

So: might 2021 be the year of resurrection?

“I thought you were going to ask something juicier!” say Tomlinson witheringly. “Look, I f______ love One Direction. I'm sure we're going to come back together one day, and I'll be doing a couple of One Direction songs in my gig. I always do that, so that's not alluding to any reunion or anything. But, I mean, look, I'm sure one day we'll get back together, because, you know, we were f______ great.”

#telegraph uk #press #louis tomlinson #241120 #its FULL of stunts as telegraph usually goes #stunt mention #Eleanor Halls

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gifted-burnout-archive · 4 years

Text

The Other Side of Hollywood

Part Six

Word Count: 4.6K+

Author’s Note: UNSAID EMILY TIME BABYYYY! I read something about Luke’s character analysis and how physical touch is one of his love languages and it made me ache, so I wanted to play around with that a little from now on.

Also, not saying that part four predicted the release of the acoustic bright music video but... That’s the exact guitar I imagined and I’m currently very, very happy.

Warnings: sad Luke... Plus a lil threatening language.

Bip bap boom, you’re watching MTV. Here are some links:

Part One, Two, Three, Four, and Five. Masterlist, and Moodboard.

Julie Molina wasn’t an overly stubborn person, but she could certainly set her mind to something and stick with it.

After her conversation with Y/N, and after a search for Luke that came to no avail, Julie didn’t waste any more time or sunlight, marching over to the Patterson’s residence she had visited the week before, of course that time had been in secret. Armed with her mom’s cosiest jumper and Luke’s song in hand, she was banking that asking for forgiveness was easier than permission, that Luke would appreciate what she and Y/N had planned and were executing.

Just as she raised her hand to ring the doorbell, the air next to her shifted, and a moment later Luke had appeared, a frown coming onto his face once he saw her, more from confusion than anything else.

“Luke…”

“What are you doing here?” He asked, Julie’s hand dropping from the doorbell, ready to start the apology she thought would be happening a lot later on in the day.

“Ok, look, I uh…” Julie started, just wondering how to phrase it. “I know you’ve not been doing great and after I saw you here on your birthday-”

“You were spying on me?” Luke asked, his fists clenching. The last thing he needed was another person in his life lying to him, hiding things from him… Even if he was doing the same to Julie. “Even after that speech about boundaries, you were spying on me?” She had been pretty clear with the guys when they first arrived that respecting her boundaries was a must, and now here she was breaking his.

“I know… I’m sorry, it was wrong. But I’m worried about you Luke, we all are.” She confessed, speaking for more than herself, Reggie, and Alex.

“Yeah, well, you don’t have to be.” Luke muttered, turning away from her, leaving Julie to try one last plea.

“You’re not the only person who wants to speak to someone they love and can’t, Luke.” She sighed, and Luke looked down, his anger dissipating at the forlorn look on Julie’s face. She was too young to be so sad.

“You know, I don’t even know what I would say to her, even if she could hear me.” He admitted, hands stuffed in his pockets as he looked out on his front yard. He hated having to cut the grass every week, but now the thought of his dad having to do it made him feel worse, ashamed.

“Yes, you do… You’ve already said it.” Julie smiled, and Luke glanced over. “Trust me, ok?” She asked, and Luke took a moment. He wasn’t quite sure what the girl was getting at, but she seemed sure enough to convince him. He reached over, focusing his energy into his hand to ring the doorbell for her.

“Hello, can I help you?” The voice was that stern sort of warm Luke had grown up with, and for a moment he felt nervous, like his dad was talking to him instead of Julie.

“Hi. I’m Julie.” She introduced herself as Luke watched on, not quite sure how to feel. When he had visited on his own, his parents rarely spoke, the idea of one of them engaging in a full conversation seemed bizarre, far away to him. “Um… I believe you had a son named Luke?”

“Yes, that’s right.” His dad smiled a little at the mention of Luke’s name. “And… And you are again?”

“Julie Molina… Your son’s band used to play in my family’s garage?” Julie introduced herself again, Luke’s dad looking confused, and rightfully so. Luke never told them about the studio, thinking they wouldn’t get it. “I… I came across this song that he wrote, and I figured you might be interested?”

“Um… Well. Well, yes.” Luke’s dad fell over his words a little, shocked by the piece of paper Julie pulled from her back pocket. “Uh, please… please come in. I’m… I’m Mitch.” He introduced himself quickly, stepping out the way of the door to let her inside.

“Nice to meet you…” Julie said with a nod, beginning to follow the man into his home before looking back at Luke, still stood at the door. With a slight gesture, she brought the boy from his daze, and Luke quickly followed into the house before she closed the door.

“Can I, um, get you something?” Mitch offered, not quite sure how to act. A teenage girl had just come to his door with a song his song had written 25 years ago, after all.

“Oh, no. I’m good, thank you.” She politely declined, her eyes catching onto a photo frame sat in the lounge. “Is… Is this your son?” She asked, smiling at the photo of Luke as a kid.

“Yeah, that’s Luke. When he was 2.” Mitch explained, the smile on his face holding a deep sadness in it.

“Do you have any other children?” Julie asked, but Mitch just shook his head, both of them, and Luke, turning their attention to a set of approaching footsteps.

“Did I hear the doorbell?” A sweet voice asked, coming over and hugging Mitch from the side.

“Hi, hon. Um, this is Julie.” Mitch introduced, and Emily smiled over at the girl.

“Hello, Julie… My, that’s a beautiful sweater.” She complimented, and Julie smiled, looking down at the clothing item.

“Thank you… It was my mom’s.”

“Julie lives in the house where Luke and the band used to rehearse.” Mitch told his wife, who lost her smile at the thought of her son. “She was just telling me she found a song that Luke wrote.” Julie glanced down at the paper as Mitch spoke, holding it out to the pair.

“It’s a song about a girl named Emily?” She questioned, Luke’s mom’s face becoming one of stun.

“Oh… I’m Emily…” She whispered, and Julie smiled a little.

“Then I think your son may have written this song for you.” Julie replied, handing over the piece of paper, and taking a step back as Luke’s mom unfolded it with shaky hands, her husband holding her as he read over her shoulder.

“First things first, we start the scene in reverse. All of the lines rehearsed disappeared from my mind.” Luke found himself sitting down on the couch, right in his old spot, and beginning to sing as memories of his leaving home flashed before his eyes. “When things got loud, one of us running out, I should have turned around, but I had too much pride. No time for goodbyes, didn't get to apologise. Pieces of a clock that lies broken…”

It was Christmas Day, and he had argued with his parents about the band… Again. He had dropped out of school, they were furious… Threatened military camp on him to straighten him out, get his head back in the game. And he just yelled at her, he refused to stay in that house… The last time he saw her alive, and she had tears streaming down her face, he had angry words on his tongue, hate in his heart…

“If I could take us back… If I could just do that. And write in every empty space the words I love you in replace, and every time would not erase me. If you could only know I never let you go. And the words I most regret are the ones I never meant to leave… Unsaid Emily.” He couldn’t stop the tears running down his cheeks, just imagining what it must have been like for them, to see those flashing lights on the night he died, to know they would never get him back.

It was like magic, a sudden sound following his words: an instrument he couldn’t quite pin down, the melodies it created around him so warm and full and powerful. Luke glanced up when it appeared, and Julie glanced back at him, both confused where it had come from but trying their best not to react, Luke choosing to keep singing while Julie watched on.

“Silent days, mysteries and mistakes. Who'd be the first to break? Guess we're alike that way…” Luke continued, the unknown instrument accompanying him with deep, resonating notes. “He said, she said, conversations in my head. And that's just where they're gonna stay forever. If I could take us back… If I could just do that. And write in every empty space the words I love you in replace, then maybe time would not erase me. If you could only know I never let you go. And the words I most regret are the ones I never meant to leave… Unsaid Emily.”

“If I could take us back. If I could just do that. And write in every empty space the words I love you in replace then maybe time would not erase me.” A familiar voice, light and airy and sweet, joined in alongside Luke, and slowly he linked the dots together in his head, figuring out just who and what had joined his song. “If you could only know I never let you go. And the words I most regret are the ones I never meant to leave.” Her voice dropped away, as did the instrument. “Unsaid Emily.”

Somehow, from God knows where, she had sung with him again…

And played along on her cello.

“Thank you…” Emily whispered through tears, holding the paper tight to her chest, Julie wiping away tears of her own.

“You have no idea…” Mitch started, but the words got caught in his throat. Julie nodded gently, seeing Luke stand up from the couch in her peripheral.

“I write music in the same room that he did. And I can tell you it is a magical, happy place.” She promised, bringing a smile to both their faces.

“That’s so nice to know.” Mitch held his wife tighter, her hand on top of his as they allowed themselves their first truly happy thought of Luke in decades: there was no clouding from anger, no melancholy tinting the edges: he had forgiven her, forgiven them, he had missed them, he had loved them, despite everything.

“I know he was only 17 when he…” Julie swallowed the lump in her throat, cutting herself off. “But he lived doing the one thing he was born to do. Not many people find that, but Luke did.” She smiled softly, Luke swiping his tears on his sleeve and leaving with the faintest of sounds, one Julie knew well. “He was lucky.”

“It was. It was so nice to meet you.” Emily held Julie’s hand in her own, the three sharing in that moment.

“It was nice to meet you too.” Julie wiped another tear away quickly, Luke’s parents walking her to the door, Emily holding tight to the last piece of her son she really had left.

As she closed the door behind her, and after finding Luke had completely disappeared from the house, Julie started the walk home under a slowly setting sun. Questions she couldn’t quite piece together rattled through her head the entire way, unable to figure out what she was trying to ask, let alone answer it. But as she came up to her own front porch to find Luke leaning against her bannister with, fiddling with the lucky blue rabbit foot he had on him at all times though she had never really taken notice of it before, the questions began piecing themselves into place.

“Hey.” She said softly, drawing his eyes up from his hand.

“Hey.” Luke replied.

“I’m sorry for overstepping.” She apologised as she made her way up the porch steps, but Luke shook his head in response.

“No I… I just had to leave. That was just…” He paused for a moment, finding his own words. “I didn’t have many regrets in my life except for running out on my parents. Especially my mom, so… Thank you.” He managed, the pair moving and finding themselves leaning on the bannister, looking out on the yard, up at the stars that had slowly begun to appear in the sky.

“You know, I wouldn’t have gotten the idea if it wasn’t for Y/N.” Julie said after a second, and Luke turned his head, staggered by her words. Y/N, of all people, had helped Julie with this? Y/N, who worked for Caleb trying to enslave their souls for eternity? “I know you guys had a big fight, she told me… And after hearing about her mom, how similarly you both left things… And I thought if I did this, if you knew she had helped, maybe you two would work it out…”

“It’s a little more complicated than an argument…” Luke confessed, running his hand through his hair. “How is she?” He asked, and Julie smiled a little.

“It’s an interesting little relationship you and she have, isn’t it?” She commented, earning a chuckle from Luke. “She’s… She’s good at hiding it, thinks I haven’t noticed… It’s like she’s unwell.” Julie said softly, looking back up at the stars. Looking over at her, Luke felt that shame building up again.

How could he keep lying to her? All Julie had been was a great friend, a confidant… His family. Not just his, but family for Alex and Reggie too. And now, knowing what Y/N had done and finding out that Julie had made a friend in her too? How could he stand by and let it all be ripped away from her, just like her mom had been?

“There’s something I have to tell you.” Luke said quickly, making the decision to tell her before he fully weighed out the impacts it could have. It would better she know now, right? Before she could get hurt further? “We figured out that we have unfinished business. That’s why we came back as ghosts.”

“Oh… What is it?” She asked, the pair turning to face each other properly.

“We have to play the show we never got to play.” Luke said with a chuff, Julie nodding along.

“At the Orpheum? That makes sense.” She said with a weak smile, that quickly disappeared as Luke was hit with a flash of light and thrown into one of the porch’s support beams.

“But we don’t have a lot of time…” Luke muttered through the pain, Julie’s eyes widening as she watched Luke crumple into himself.

“What was that? Are you ok?” She asked, panic setting in, and Luke sighed, shaking his head.

“We did something that we shouldn’t have… The night we missed the dance, at the club… The owner put this curse on us… And if we don’t do what he says, then those jolts will destroy us.” Luke tried to explain it as simply as he could, more for his own benefit that Julie’s: it hurt to talk.

“Well then you gotta do what he says. What does he want?” Julie asked, confused as to why the boys hadn’t just solved this with following this club owner’s requests.

“He wants us to be in his house band for eternity…”

“But that doesn’t make sense! Why would Y/N…” Julie stopped, frowning. “She’s a part of this, isn’t she? That’s why you fell out…”

“Exactly… But, if we can play the Orpheum soon, then we can avoid all that and actually cross over.” Luke said quickly, pulling himself back to his feet.

“Cross over? As in, like what? Like go to heaven?” Julie asked quickly, her voice cracking.

“That’s what we’re banking on…”

“So it’s either cross over, be in his band for eternity, or be destroyed by those jolts?” Julie clarified it, and Luke muttered a soft ‘yeah’. “That’s just great. This is all just great.” She muttered, opening her front door, and then promptly slamming it closed in Luke’s face, rushing up to her room in the hopes she could find some privacy.

“She’s gonna be upset for a while, but she’ll come to terms with it.” Luke whipped around, finding the last person he wanted to see at the bottom of the porch steps. “Hey, Denim…” Y/N said softly, a weak smile on her face as her hands ran over her arms, the cold that had slowly set in with the sunset causing her to shiver.

“Don’t talk to me.” Luke said plainly, his voice lacking any sort of emotion as he sauntered down the steps and down the pathway to the studio. “I’ve got nothing to say to you.”

“What, now I’m not allowed to speak in my own defence?” She asked, marching after him down the pathway that a week ago she had been excited and nervous to be on. Now, she just felt sick. “Luke, I’m sorry, alright?!” She called once they reached the edge of the driveway, Luke almost at the garage doors. He stopped in his tracks, turning around to look at her.

“Sorry?” He laughed, shoving his hands into his pockets. “You did this, all of it! Even when you knew what this band meant to all of us!” He answered back, his voice raised, causing movement from inside the garage. “Sorry doesn’t cut it.”

“I just want to-”

“To help?! You’ve done enough, Y/N…” He interrupted her as Alex and Reggie came through the studio doors, wanting to know what all the commotion was about. “At least Willie had the decency to own up to his mistakes. You?” He paused for a moment, almost like he wasn’t sure on his next words. “You’re just a bad person, Y/N.”

“Luke…” Alex muttered, talking in Y/N’s defence.

“What, Alex? Am I wrong? Like Willie said, she wanted the challenge…” Luke turned away again, heading for the safety of the studio to wallow in his self-pity: he was, after all, dying.

“You’re not the only person Caleb took things from, alright?!” Y/N finally spoke up, the words wavering as she spoke. In fact, her whole body seemed to tremble. “I want to help, in whatever way I can…” She was begging, but Luke was done listening, leaving her with Alex and Reggie outside.

“… We’ll talk to him, we can-” Reggie started, his heart aching at the sight of Y/N: she was so genuinely hurt by Luke’s words, they actually meant something to her.

“He’s… He’s made up his mind about me.” She shook her head. “I’ll… If…” She wiped her cheeks from the tears, and swallowed back another sob. “Just, I’m here to help if you need me.” She promised, and Alex sent a sad smile her way, Reggie a limp wave, and with that she disappeared into the night, leaving the pair to deal with their bandmate.

A rap at her door later that night brough Julie from whatever daze she had been in for the last hour or so, Flynn shuffling in with a pity-filled smile at the sight of her best friend. After years, Flynn was astute in dissecting Julie’s body language: she knew when her best friend was happy, or sad, or nervous.

Right now, Julie looked defeated, and it was something Flynn hadn’t seen since Julie’s mom died.

“I got your text…” Flynn said as she came to a stop near Julie’s bed. What she had actually received was a keyboard smash without a single discernible word, but it was enough to rush Flynn over.

“Don’t come too close. Anyone I seem to care about disappears.” Julie said with a sigh, putting the cap on the pen she had been colouring with.

“You can’t get rid of me. I’m like the crazy glue of best friends.” Flynn reminded, and Julie almost smiled.

“I just don’t get it. Right when my life starts to get good.” It made sense she was angry, it seemed like the universe was now taking back everything it had given. “Great friend, great band, a trending video on Youtube… Then bam!” She lifted up her sketch book to show Flynn a mushroom cloud, her name exploding into fragments at the base.

“I seriously don’t know why all of this is happening to you, but that’s gonna be a great album cover one day.” Flynn side tracked, getting another half-smile off of Julie, She sat herself on her best friend’s floor by the old trunk that had found it’s place at the base of Julie’s bed, and picked up the jump Julie had thrown to the ground earlier in her upset state, beginning to fold it and sort it back into the trunk.

“You don’t have to do that.” Julie quickly said as she took the lid off a new pen, a light orange this time, to add extra dimensions of fire to her explosion piece.

“I know, but I get to check out all your mom’s cool stuff.” Flynn said with a smile, beginning to look through the trunk before stopping on a white top. “Whoa…” She muttered, garnering Julie’s attention as she unfolded the tee. “Did you know this was in here?” She asked, showing the graphic to Julie: Sunset Curve.

“What the hell?” Julie scoffed, blinking a few times to make sure she was seeing right.

“How do you think she got it?”

“I… I don’t know, but the guys said they didn’t know my mom.” She paused for a second, looking up at Flynn. “Why would they lie?” She asked. It was out of character for them, even after what happened that day.

“… Maybe they didn’t.” Flynn suggested, getting to her feet so she could pace through her following words. “Maybe she knew them… She could be a fan!” She came to the conclusion quickly, a smile on her face.

“I mean… Sunset Curve was playing the Hollywood club scene around then?” Julie gave the idea some grounding, though it felt doubtful: what were the chances that in a city of so many, her mom would have heard Sunset Curve play?

“Oh my God… What if you were right?” Flynn asked, and with a raise of Julie’s eyebrow, she explained further. “What if the guys are connected to your mom? Through music or something.”

“Because she bought their t-shirt?”

“Think about it.” Flynn was holding her point firm, waiting for Julie to see her side of things. “They were the ones who made you wanna play music again! Maybe she knew they could help you.”

“So, you mean to tell me that my mom is somewhere out there planning all this?” Julie asked, and Flynn glanced to the side: hearing it like that, it sounded a little far-fetched. “If she wanted me to play music again, why wouldn’t she just tell me herself?”

“Maybe she can’t. Maybe she has to do it another way. You know, through signs.” Flynn suggested, and Julie eased up a little. “You been through these clothes how many times and haven’t found this t-shirt? Why now?” Flynn asked, only to answer her own question. “This is another sign!” She exclaimed, and Julie sighed. “I’m just saying! It’s not over, Julie.”

“Really? Signs?”

“You’re in a ghost band.” Flynn said simply. “It’s a crazy world… Look, you’re gonna lose them no matter what. And it sucks. But they helped bring you back to life. Now it’s your turn to help them.” In moments like this, Julie was convinced Flynn should be a motivational speaker. “They have to cross over… Let them go.”

The words were enough to force Julie off her bed to hug her friend tight, the pair walking downstairs: one headed home, the other headed to family.

“Snap out of it!” Julie yelled after entering the studio, startling the boys from their stupor, sending Alex from the couch to the floor in the process, his drumsticks clattering across the room.

“Jeez, I think you broke Alex.” Reggie muttered, cradling his bass in his arms.

“Do you guys want to cross over or not?” Julie asked, and while Luke hated to admit it, Y/N had been right: it seemed like Julie had come to terms with their predicament. “Get it together!” Julie demanded again, clapping after each word, and earning an eye roll from the guitarist.

“They’re never gonna let us play the Orpheum.” Luke said with a sigh, his words followed by Alex and Reggie reminding Julie of the fact.

“We’re nobody.”

“We’re less than nobody. We have no bodies.” Reggie gestured to himself as he spoke, receiving a snap of the fingers from Luke in agreement, and Julie took a power stance.

“Someone once told me that you don’t ask for permission.” Julie said, earning a light chuckle from Luke. “You book gigs by doing.”

“That was me.” Reggie said with quite a smug look.

“No, it wasn’t.” Julie and Luke replied in near unison, sending a frown to Reggie’s features as he hugged his bass closer.

“This isn’t over.” Julie continued her pitch. “We were brought together for a reason: to help each other.”

“Yeah, but like Luke said, people don’t just play the Orpheum because they want to.” Alex sighed, and Julie smirked in response, folding her arms.

“People don’t, but ghosts do.”

The waves rolled further and further up the shoreline, the tide coming in late that night under a thin sheet of drizzle, perhaps the first rainfall the city had encountered since March time. The cloud cover veiled the moon’s glow, leaving the beach in near complete darkness. Had someone not been well-versed in the beach’s layout, they would have never been able to venture onto the sands in fear of tripping over the rocks that stuck up from the ground.

Or, you know, if they were a ghost.

“Where’s the smile, my little sunset? Aren’t you happy to see me?” The first of two figures sat atop a boulder at the beach’s far end asked over the rolling waves, his legs hanging over the edge, a cane on his lap. When he didn’t receive a reply from his counterpart, a girl, with her knees up to her chin as she silently sobbed away the pain. “You know, I forget sometimes that you’ll always be a 17 year old…” He commented. “All full of emotion and unkempt rebellion. First you rebelled against your parents… And now me.

“I heard you today, trying out that cello…” She looked up at that, and he smirked. “Oh yeah, you thought you were alone, but you’ve clearly forgotten that I own you, Y/N. I know you’ve been visiting the lifer, been trying to help them…” He paused. “I know that Willie’s been up to no good.”

“Leave him out of this.” She muttered, and as the moon finally came out from behind a cloud, the light caused Caleb’s smile to shine pearly white in the darkness.

“There she is. Now, let’s have a conversation, a negotiation.” Caleb stood up, prompting Y/N to follow suit, the pair walking down the boulder and onto the sands below, beginning a stroll over the landscape.

“They don’t… Luke hates me, Caleb. He won’t let me help them. I’m not your insider.” She stated simply.

“You’re what I tell you to be, sunset. So, my proposal is simple.” He stopped, and Y/N turned to look back at him. “You are going to help me. They are going to be playing my club by tomorrow night. And in reward, I’ll offer you… Something you can’t refuse.” Caleb laughed, and Y/N found herself finally looking up at him.

“What do I get?” She asked, quickly sniffing, and wiping the last of her tears away.

“First, I end Willie’s contract.” Caleb offered, and Y/N’s eyes widened. “I know, a radical idea, but I know you. After 25 years of service, seems only fair you get something out of this.”

“You said first… What’s the second thing?” She asked, trying to not get caught up in the emotion. What could be more valuable than Willie’s soul?

“Now Y/N… You’re young, not stupid.” Caleb tutted, and took a step forward. “Why is it you can only remember your afterlife properly? Why you keep dreaming of things that didn’t happen? Why you’ve spent your entire afterlife afraid of music?” He asked, leaning down to whisper in her ear. “Do what I ask, Y/N, and I’ll give back what I stole from you…”

“I’ll give back your real memories.”

Part Seven is here...

Tags: @im-a-writer-right @elioelioeli0 @jenjen889 @walkingonshunshine @parkeret @lolychu @leahstypewriter @j-mar-memester @sunsetcurve-h @musicconversedance @gracefulpenguin @shae-is-not-ok @talksoprettyjjx @smol-book-nerd @lord-of-the-fried @siennanoelle01 @deadpoolgirl23 @theatricalfangirl @deepsleepnat @hhyunj1n @lovesanimals @oswin05 @ifilwtmfc @crappy-unicorn @eries45 @noncannonships @tenaciousperfectionunknown @theorangestofjuices @oopsiedoopsie23 @elephants-bubbles-brachosauruses

#luke patterson #luke patterson x reader #luke patterson x y/n #jatp luke x reader #jatp luke #jatp #julie and the phantoms #fanfiction #fanfic #jatp au #reader insert #the other side of hollywood #luke patterson fluff #fluff #fantom

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pluviophile-bookworm · 3 years

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HSMTMTS 2x10: New and a bit alarming... ok, very alarming

I don't even know at this point if I'm more nervous or excited for this episode. I've done my waiting and, well, whatever lies ahead, good or bad, or a little bit of both, I just can't wait anymore, even though I haven't been so scared to press play since... well, since last week. Guess I should just go for it, then:

Ooh, shady Seb doing the recap! We love to see it. Like, seriously, I'm anxious about the Seblos fight, but shady Seb is kind of my new favourite Seb.

I just... Ashlyn's acting is top tier. Emotional connection to the material? Superb! Chemistry with her co-lead... well, he'd have to be co-leading for any chemistry to be possible. I love Ricky, and I feel for him with all he's been through, but he's just not lead material right now. And it shows. Especially next to Ashlyn, who is killing it!

Miss Jenn is on the verge of a bloody mental breakdown and I just... wish I could do something to make things better. She reminds me of my mum when a deadline approaches for her to submit an article, and I just feel for her right now. Gosh, I'm feeling for everybody today. My empathy seems to be at its peak and I might just burst from all these emotions this episode is making me feel even before the 5-minute mark.

Ok, but Miss Jenn being stressed means Carlos is stressed for two, which means... this is a really bad time for him and Seb to have personal problems. My heart just can't handle it.

Wow... I never thought I'd see the day! The two leads are actually talking to each other! This is a mid-July miracle!

Why does everyone keep pretending their HSM was good? It was a flaming hot mess! A child could see that.

Miss Jenn needs a lot of work on her 'gracious face'. I, like Carlos, have quite some notes. Only mine aren't exactly, how do you say... verbally formulated quite yet.

Did Carlos just refer to Miss Jenn as 'mother'? Because yes.

I've been in a couple of local theatre productions in my day, but none of them had actual physical sets — we relied on the audience's imagination quite a lot — so I wouldn't know what a good set is made of... but even I can tell that plywood and Elmer's glue = not good.

Kourtney is a multi-tasking icon and we love her. I feel like I don't say this enough, but she deserves all the love.

Ooh, shady Seb is... well, shady! 'Quit school and get a job at the pizza shop?' — I mean, you don't see Reddy or Kourtney (or Howie, for that matter) quitting school in order to work at the Slices! Those kids juggle it all and, as someone who's never had to balance school and a job all at once, they have my deepest admiration.

Still, I think they should have thought about 'inventing' something re: transformation earlier than this point. The personal drama has taken up too much of their time.

Why does everyone keep inviting people over to Ashlyn's? I mean, it's not like I've ever heard her complain, but the girl needs some rest! And her house is not a public space.

Oh, so they're making this into a contest? I mean, I have never been a fan of competition, but to each their own. And Redlyn are hosting! This is going to be so beautiful! (You know, unless the boys try to sleep — see my post from yesterday about Reddy's background noise machine)

'I'm not worried. But North High should be!' Ooh, I love this look on Ashlyn! See, there's a lead to take notes from! And Ricky should be the first to do so. Take notes about what a lead acts like, I mean.

Oooooh, Big Red claps back! We love to see it. Although, you know, it stems from the fact that he's nervous about coming up with a solution to the transformation problem. 'I get bossy around the power tools' — Yes, sweetie, and I love that look on you. Maybe you should be around power tools more often, if that helps.

Ughhh, look what the cat brought in! Lily (I wish I knew her last name so I could refer to her by it exclusively, but we'll have to make do). I hate that girl. She reminds me quite exactly of the girl who bullied me in seventh grade to the point where I wished I'd die before having to deal with her at school again. She and Lily both bring out my aggressive side, and I hate that about them.

Ricky — 'so good at being a leading man'? I don't know what Lily is playing at here, but Ricky has not shown himself to be a very good leading man this season. He has the potential to be, but he has not fulfilled it by this point. Sure, he supports his friends and they support him, but that's basic decency. Not yet good leadership. No hate on Ricky, just the truth.

'I vaguely remember him' — please tell me this is setup for Ricky leading Lily on and then slamming the door in her face with the truth. The way I see it, he's been given a chance here. A chance to be the supportive, protective best friend Big Red deserves. I just... have a lot of ideas about this and I don't want it to end badly instead.

'I'm just not well-liked here, and I don't know what to do' — well, of course you aren't well-liked, you little— (ok, ok, calm down, breathe, 10, 9, 8...) whatever. I mean, she hasn't even considered basic decency, as it seems. Must be a new concept to her.

'Don't start with me, Carlos!' Wow. As much as I hate it that my two faves' only interaction in so long is so hostile, I kind of like this side of Big Red. I wonder what other sides of himself he's been hiding.

Listen, I don't like Seb being patronised and babied, but... 'Chip, this is your mother speaking: go call your mother!' made me laugh so hard. They're leaning into the on-stage family dynamic and I live for it.

EJ's idea of using old skateboards for the spinning contraption is... a brilliant callback to the fact that Ricky and Big Red were first characterised as skateboarders... you know, before diving headfirst into the theatre thing. And it feels like it might actually work.

Miss Jenn's excitement at seeing Mr Mazzara ('Benjamin!!!') is perhaps only topped by the fact that he was halfway home, got a text from her and instantly went back to the school. I mean, these two have something that's really big.

Miss Jenn referring to the kids as 'my children', combined with Carlos calling her 'mother' earlier just warms my heart so much! Those guys really are family. I live for it.

Ok, but... as clear as it is that the Wildcats are very far behind NH in terms of budget, rehearsal time and who knows what else, I hate seeing Miss Jenn resigned to them losing. I want to see her have faith in them, talk about how they will win, and, in her own words, 'trust the process'. I mean, I guess it's good that, as a teacher, she wants to prepare her kids for a possible defeat (and I mean really possible if they don't step up their game immediately, especially some of them * cough* Ricky *cough *), but a team that goes out to the field expecting to lose has a very minimal chance of winning.

Despite everything I've been saying again and again about Nini lately, the fact that she just delivered a very different 'No, Seb' has just redeemed her. See, this one wasn't dismissive or patronising — this was like, 'no, Seb, don't put yourself down' and I love that spin on the catchphrase I'd grown to hate. See, many things can be redeemed. And some simply cannot. * cough* Devil's spawn Lily *cough *. Also, Seb being self-conscious about the fact that Carlos 'doesn't have many options' at East Hight is the perfect setup for In a Heartbeat — meaning they will either have a chance to talk about their issue, or they have a telepathic connection, in which case, what kind of soulmate stuff is that?

'You're my sister; he's my cousin' — yeah, Ash, putting it like that makes it sound a lot weirder than it should, but I do get what you're trying to say. This is not a drill! Ashlyn is a Portwell shipper (heck, maybe even the captain of that ship) — but I feel like we already knew that.

'Why'd I never hear about this?' — and there it goes. Within the same scene, Nini was redeemed and then made aggravating again. What does she care if Gina thought Ricky sent her chocolates? He didn't. Because he and Gina can't be anything but very good friends. And I feel like good friends is what Gina needs. Maybe that's why I wanted EJ to be that for her initially (or it was because I'm aroace and don't tend to notice romantic attraction between fictional characters — or real people for that matter — unless it's explicitly stated to be there). But I've been on board of the majestic S.S. Portwell for a few weeks now and it's finally about to set sail.

Yeah, Nini, get a root beer, calm the heck down and get over it!

'Your other clockwise!' — Why does this even need to be said? How many 'clockwise's are there? I absolutely understand why Big Red gets the way he gets around power tools. I'd be on edge too, if the people I was trying to work with didn't know what way clockwise is. Still, I feel like by the time I'm 30, nobody younger than me would have a reason to know what way clockwise is, and I don't know if I feel bad or neutral about it.

Oh, so there's no telepathy involved in Seblos' problem resolution — it's been Redlyn's good communication all along. I might have known.

Ooh, Portwell is being discussed on both sides! PORTWELL NATION HOW WE FEELING

Nini? Why is everything about Nini? There's no way everything is about Nini. In all seriousness, though, EJ's worries about letting the next girl go seem valid in regards to Gina, given that she explicitly stated (though not within earshot of EJ or anyone who could have tipped him off) that she needs someone who will show up and stay. But they'll figure it out. They'll find a way. I know it. They will, or I will riot, and I know I won't be alone in that.

Ooh, Howie is giving Kourtney the original blueprints! Looks like Reddy isn't the only one who has a spy on the inside.

Ahhh, Ricky! Not 'Let You Go' again. I haven't cried to it in three days and I was not ready to break that streak. But... wait, this is where Carlos approaches Ricky to ask him for help with writing a song for Seb, isn't it? I am definitely ready for this.

Oh, is it... is it Ricky who suggests Carlos write a song for Seb? Now that is what a good leading man looks like.

'I'm adjusting to being called bro' — me too, Carlito, me too. But... this scene must have been so emotional for Josh, given that he hadn't come out yet. I remember him crying during The Climb and... all I'm saying is I want Ricky to come out at some point, too.

Oh gosh oh gosh oh gosh... they were just talking about love languages and that's when Carlos shows up? Cinematic. Wait, there's Portwell too? This is what dreams are made of.

My oh my oh my! Risotto! For real this time. I might have just teared up. (Full disclosure: I did.) I've only had Portwell for about three weeks, but if anything happens to them, I will... you know how the meme goes. [side note: Wait, when I said 'for real this time', I was not expecting EJ would say it, much less word for word. Am I... writing this show now? It's usually my dad who predicts people's lines in TV shows]

'Not that I know of'... excuse me while I hyperventilate! These two are literal soulmates. They might share a brain, too, for all that I know. Portwell nation you ok guys?

I love that Ricky helped Carlos out with this song and is supporting him through it, but... I just might have preferred for him not to be there. I kind of need Seblos to have this moment to themselves. But, you know, with the way they feel about each other it might as well be like they're alone in the universe, let alone the room.

Ok, but Frankie's voice... brings out feelings in me that I didn't know I was capable of. Make of that what you will. Also, I'm not sobbing my eyes out, you are.

Ahhh Reddy my sunshine my sweet boy I love you but why did you have to cut Seblos' moment short? They were going to kiss, I know it. Oh well, they probably will, later on. Off-screen probably, but who cares? Not everything is for us to see. At least Carlos and Ricky had a moment there... Carlos calling Ricky 'bro' made me more emotional than I expected. It's like Miss Jenn says in s1: 'They're best bros, and that's a sacred thing... for reasons I will never understand'.

Ricky's acting sounds like a cat about to spit up a hairball, and it's so funny... in a scene that is supposed to be arguably the most dramatic of the entire play, that is not a good thing.

Oh my, oh my... you did not! You did not just end the episode with Ricky taking a fall from who knows how high. I was not ready. This episode was entirely too much for me. I will need 10 to 15 business days to recover from this, and we all know there aren't that many. But in the meantime you'll find me obsessively listening to In a Heartbeat for hours on end. Seriously, this episode is too much.

#hsmtmts #hsmtmts s2 #ricky bowen #nini salazar-roberts #gina porter #ej caswell #ashlyn caswell #ashlyn moon caswell #big red redonovich #carlos rodriguez #seb matthew-smith #kourtney greene #hsmtmts miss jenn #hsmtmts mr mazzara #jnk #seblos #portwell #redlyn #jenzara

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themadlostgirl · 3 years

Text

Abandoned (10)

*Fluff with some mild smut to spicen things up and finally finished with even more fluff.*

~~~

Life was relatively peaceful following Baelfire’s escape and Wendy’s return all things considered. There were bad days where Peter’s emotions turned the island into a misery but most of the time everything remained bright and sunny. I think I loved the nights the most though. As beautiful as the days in Neverland were there was something magical about night time.

The island had gone to sleep. The only sound was that of the ocean lapping against shore and the rustle of wind in the trees. It was like the world had taken a deep breath and relaxed. It was during this time that I treasured with Peter most. He ran around the island a lot during the day but the nights were reserved for the two of us and the two of us alone.

On this such night we were at my camp. The fire we had built now only glowing coals. I sat between Peter’s legs as we stared out over the ocean. Peter asked me to sing something. I went into a quiet rendition of an old favorite of mine before Peter stopped me.

“Do you know any other songs?” He asked, “Make no mistake, swordfish, I love hearing you sing whatever your heart desires but I was hoping you might have a tune that I maybe haven’t heard from your lips yet.”

“There is one song I know almost all the lyrics to.” I shrugged, “I just haven’t thought about it until you said something.”

“Well then, please,” Peter pulled me closer, “Sing it for me.”

I took a deep breath and hummed to myself trying to remember the rhythm.

“The ship, it swayed. Heave-ho, heave-ho. On the dark and stormy blue. And I held tight to the captain's might as he pulled up his trews.” I sang quietly, “‘You haven't slept,’ Heave-ho, he said ‘In many suns and moons.’ Oh, I will sleep when we reach shore, And pray we get there soon. He said, ‘Now hush love, here's your gown, there's the bed, lanterns down.’ But I don't want to go to sleep. In all my dreams I drown.”

“Kind of foreboding. It is haunting but also pretty.” Peter said, “What is it?”

“I’m not sure. I remember being in a big tent when I heard it. I always liked the song even if I didn’t know what it was trying to say at the time. I think my father didn’t like it. Didn’t like when I sang it.”

“Then you must continue.” Peter encouraged, “Go on my little siren, sing to me.”

“The captain howled Heave-ho, heave-ho and tied me up with sheets. A storm is brewing in the South. ‘It's time you go to sleep.’ His berth, it rocked Heave-ho, heave-ho. The ocean gnashed and moaned. Like Jonah, we'll be swallowed whole and spat back teeth and bones. He said, ‘Now hush love, here's your gown, there's the bed, lanterns down.’ But I don't want to go to sleep in all my dreams I drown.”

I hesitated to sing the next verse. Peter nodded at me to keep going.

“Captain! Captain! I will do your chores. I will warm your cot at night and mop your cabin floors. Scold me, hold me! I'll be yours to keep. The only thing I beg of you, don't make me go to sleep.”

“I think I understand why daddy dearest didn’t like this song. To hear his little girl sing about being tied up in sheets and warming someone’s bed, not something a doting and protective father would want to hear.”

“Oh yes, the two words I would use to describe that bastard are doting and protective.” I sneered, “Why does he have to sour so many of my memories? I don’t have many and yet he keeps cropping up in them with that damn smirk.”

“Well there is a bright side to this tainted memory.”

“And what is that?”

“A new lovely image to imagine.” he smirked. My body flooded with heat as the same image drifted through my mind. “I see I’m not the only one intrigued by the concept.”

“I never said--”

“You didn’t have to,” Peter leaned in closer, overwhelming me with the heat and scent of his body. “Does my little spitfire like that idea? Restrained against a bed without a scrap of clothes on. Having me on top of you, pleasing you? So close to touch but no way to do so?”

“Almost sounds like torture.” I said, finally finding my tongue.

“A very sweet torture it would be though.” He kissed me. “Shall we rehearse?”

“Peter…”

“Not to worry, precious. It’s just a game and we can stop at any time. Trust me?”

I swallowed back the alarms ringing in my head and nodded. Excitement filling the spots where terror would have resided instead. “Good girl,” He pushed the jacket off of my shoulders. His hands hovered over the laces of my stays before I started undoing them myself and shucked them to the side. Peter eyed the shirt I was wearing as well but didn’t make a move to remove it. I was almost disappointed.

He laid me back against the ground and raised my arms above my head. “The rules are simple, spitfire.” He said, “Keep your hands right there no matter what. If you move them without me saying so then I’ll be forced to punish you. Got it?”

“I think you’re enjoying this game far too much.” I tried to ignore the heat that radiated off him as he straddled my legs. I was sufficiently pinned down with no easy escape.

“I said,” he kept my arms pinned with his hands, “Do you understand?”

“Yes,” I gulped.

“Good.” He gazed over me as if looking for where he wanted to start.

He hadn’t even started yet and I was already breathing hard. Memories drifting up from a dark place in my mind.

Trapped.

Peter’s eyes softened and he touched my cheek. “Are you sure you want to play this game?” He asked, “I don’t want to force you, my pearl.”

I smiled. The knot of anxiety in my chest melting away. I’m not trapped. I can stop this at any time. “I’m sure. I trust you to make me feel good.”

“I will,” Still leaning over me he pressed a feather soft kiss to my forehead, then another to either of my temples. Next my eyes, my cheeks, my nose and all along my jaw. It was almost sweet. But if there’s one thing I know about Peter is that he doesn’t do sweet. Not for long at least.

He moved further down pressing kisses to my neck and along my collar bone and shoulders. I balled my hands into fists to still them from wanting to tangle them in his hair. This was harder than I thought it would be. He sucked hard on one of my weak spots and I whined loudly. He chuckled against my pulse and continued on unperturbed.

His hands wound from their grip on my wrists down my arms and traced over my body. Had my shirt always been this thin or did it just feel that way because Peter was touching me? Where his hands went his mouth shortly followed. The edge of my shirt was riding further up as Peter exposed more and more skin. Pressing hot kisses along my abdomen.

“Such a pretty little treasure you are,” he whispered as he moved his way back up to my neck. “And you’re being so obedient for once. You’ve behaved well so far, anything you want me to do?”

“I’d like it if you would kiss me properly.”

He grinned wider and pressed his mouth to mine. I kissed him back hungrily. For a moment I almost forgot about our game and my hands started to move before I positioned them back in place. My little slip up didn’t go unnoticed from Peter who pulled back from our kiss with a smirk. “Getting harder to obey, spitfire?”

“Isn’t it a good thing that I want to touch you?”

“It is a very good thing,” A gleam sparkled his eye, “Tell me how much you want to touch me. If you could, where would you touch me? My face? My hair?”

“Yes,” I answered, “But that’s not only where I’d touch you.”

“Oh really?”

“I want to feel the muscles in your arms. Run my hands down your chest.”

“Brave girl,” Peter took off his tunic and my eyes went wide. “Is this what you wanted? What you wanted to badly to touch?”

I nodded. My voice useless. He leaned down resting the naked weight of his torso along my chest. “Such a shame that you can’t,” He kissed my neck, “But I can touch you.”

“Enjoying the power high?” I asked, trying not to show how flustered I really was.

“Immensely.” He kissed me down the center of my chest and between the valley of my breasts. The only part of my torso that remained covered yet. Peter gauged my reaction before swiping a thumb over my left breast.

The moan that left me had me burning with embarrassment and arousal. Peter smiled at my reaction and did it again to the right earning another low moan. “May I?” he asked, gesturing to my shirt.

I nodded again. He shucked my shirt up and pulled it from my body. Certainly not how I had imagined the night going but I wasn’t complaining either. The both of us naked from the waist up illuminated by the moonlight. He laid back down. Letting the feel of our skin touching one another settle and warm us. He was shaking slightly and it occurred to me that he was probably just as pleasantly nervous as I. He kissed me hard and I responded in earnest. By the stars I wanted to touch him so badly.

He left my lips and I whined as the solid warmth of his body went with him. “Don’t complain, precious. I’m not going far.” His head dipped to my chest, taking full advantage of the fact that my shirt was now gone. My breathing came harder as he swiped his tongue experimentally over my breast.

“Peter!” I moaned, uncaring of the noises I was making anymore. He continued to lavish one breast with his mouth, sucking on it until it pebbled and running his tongue across it while his hand massaged the other one into a similar state. My body arching against him.

All the while I moaned and whined while trying desperately to keep my hands in place. This really wasn’t fair. “Peter,” I whimpered as he switched to suck on my other breast and fondle the other. “Peter please!”

“Please what?” he asked.

“Please let me touch you.”

“Since you asked so nicely…no.”

“Fuck you!” I snapped and he laughed.

“Well if you really want to,” He playfully bit my nipple and I yelped.

“You are such an ass!”

“You love it.” He squeezed the other harder and I whined louder again. “Stay in place, I’m not through with you yet.”

My hands fisted uselessly in the sand. More time slipped by as he went on his merry way of unraveling me. I had the biggest urge to throw the rules to the wind and tackle him so I could finally have some access but I kept my arms high above my head. If this was a game then I was going to win. Besides, the path to winning was pretty sweet too.

By the time he released me from my imaginary bonds my body was slick with sweat and there were a variety of bruises dotting my skin. The moment he said I could stop restraining myself I tackled him to his back. “My turn,” I grinned as I positioned his arms above his head like he had with me. “Or do you not want to be the one restrained?”

“Want to try your hand at being in charge?” He smirked.

“I am in charge.” I nipped at his neck, “Now be good for me. Just like I was good for you.”

I started slow just as he had. Feather soft kisses to his most sensitive places. Tracing my hands along his face and chest. Hearing his breath quicken under me as I sucked hard on his neck. Fingernails scratching down his chest. Muttered obscenities as I ventured lower. A kiss above his hip. A lick up the smooth expanse of his abdomen. A swipe of my tongue across his nipples.

“Damn woman!” Peter groaned when I tugged on his hair, wrenching his head up so I could taste his neck better. “Let me touch you!”

“You got to touch me plenty.” I reminded him, “It’s my turn now.”

I met his eyes. His pupils were dilated wider than I had ever seen. A bead of sweat collected on his brow. I swiped the curls from his forehead and kissed him there. I put my mouth to his and squeaked at the ferocity of which he kissed me back. The one thing he was allowed to do in this state of restraint.

I chuckled and pulled back again. A dark look passed over his face at my retreat. “Done already, Lost Girl?”

“Far from it,” I took my time to look him over, “Just wanted to take a look at my progress.”

“And you said I enjoyed this too much.”

“Let’s just say I understand you better now.” I repositioned myself and froze when I felt a hard ridge probing between my legs. Peter sucked in a sharp breath through his teeth. “Well hello again.” I chuckled. The fear and dread I would have felt before evaporating into nothingness. I wasn’t trapped. This was my choice.

“What can I say, has a mind of its own.” Peter laughed dryly. He kept his face turned from me.

“Is that a blush I see?” I didn’t move from my position over his erection. “Are you embarrassed, Peter?”

“I’m not--” He cut off with a moan as I gave an experimental roll of my hips against his. “You are playing a dangerous game, spitfire.”

“Aren’t all our games dangerous?” I rolled again and this time my moan joined his. This was certainly different from last time.

“Fuck the games,” Peter sat up and pulled me flush against his body. The hard ridge of flesh between us grinding against me at a new angle. “Tell me to stop. Now!”

“No.” I bucked against him on instinct. My body craving more of the sweet friction between us. “Don’t ever stop.”

“You’ll be the death of me. I swear it.” He kissed me hard. One hand was tangled in my hair while the other rested on my hip urging me to continue moving. “How does it feel?” He asked after I got into a motion.

“Good. Really good.” I moaned louder, holding to him tighter. “I didn’t know it could feel this good.”

“Me either,” he quickened our pace. His eyes were screwed shut as he continued to rut against me. His breathing was labored and more moans and groans fell ceaselessly from his lips. I latched my lips to his neck and sucked hard on the sweet spot I knew drove him wild. “By the stars I love you.”

My world snapped back together and my hips stilled. Peter seemed to realize what he said as well and gazed up at me. “You love me?” I asked.

He visibly gulped, eyes wide with panic. “I do. I love you.”

I kissed him. It wasn’t urgent per say. It was just a kiss, deeply felt and spread a warmth throughout my whole body. “I love you too, Peter.”

That sparked something in him and he started moving my hips against him again. I took up the pace from before. My world was boiling over with heat and love. A heady combination.

“Say it again, my pearl.” His voice cracked with the plea, “Say it again.”

“I love you,” I gasped as I ground down on him harder, “I love you.”

“Again.”

“I love you!”

“Again!”

“I love you! Peter! I love you! I love you! I love you!” I screamed as my body finally flew over the edge it had been rocketing towards this entire time. Peter yelled my name as his own hips bucked hard against me. The high we were at slowing down as we stilled. He collapsed onto his back and I followed after him trying desperately to catch my breath.

I stretched to peck his lips affectionately. “Peter,” I whispered, “You love me.”

He laughed, brushing a finger against my cheek. “Yes my pearl, I love you.”

“Does my love want to go wash off in a lagoon with me? Sweat and sand makes for an uncomfortable combination.”

“You want me to be in the same place as you when we’re both naked and wet and right after we just did that?”

“Think of it as your punishment.” I smirked, “After all, you did break the rules and touched me when you weren’t supposed to. You get to be so close but not allowed to touch me.”

“Who said that you get to deal out punishments?”

“I did. Since I was the one that actually obeyed the rules.” I stood up, my legs slightly wobbly. Peter wasn’t in much better condition though he tried to hide it.

We found a small lagoon to wash off in and I turned around to undress. Considering I had just been grinding against him not ten minutes ago I shouldn’t have felt so strange about this. When I peeked over my shoulder to see if he was watching I found him facing away from me as well as he hopped around trying to pull his boots off. I snorted and turned back around. It made me feel better knowing that he was just as awkward about this as me.

I heard a splash and knew Peter was in the water. It was my turn. I turned around slowly. Peter was watching me from the water and quickly looked away when I caught him staring at my nude body. Adorable.

I stepped into the water and let out a content sigh as I sunk down up to my neck. “We should go night swimming more often. This is lovely.”

“Yes,” Peter said. He still wasn’t looking directly at me as he rinsed the grime of the day away.

“Peter,” I swam closer to him and saw him tense up. “Is this uncomfortable for you? I can get out if it is.”

“No. That’s not it.” He said, his back turned towards me, “I was told I’m not allowed to touch you so I’m not touching you.”

“That doesn’t mean you don’t have to look at me.”

“Yes it does.” He sighed, “If I look at you then I’m going to want to touch you and I’m trying my best to obey your rules, precious.”

I wrapped my arms around him from behind. He became tense in my arms as I pressed my chest to his back. My forehead rested between his shoulder blades. I pressed a small kiss to his shoulder and he breathed out. His body melting against mine.

“I thought we weren’t supposed to be touching.” His hands overlapped mine resting on his stomach.

“Rules are stupid.” I murmured. “Besides, you just told me you loved me. How am I meant to keep my hands to myself after that?”

“I meant what I said but I didn’t mean to blurt it out like that.” He scoffed, “Hardly seemed like the appropriate time to let you know that I had fallen in love with you. You just felt so good in my arms and you were so trusting of me and...I love you. I needed you to know right that second.”

“I’m just glad that you said it at all. I’ve been wanting to tell you the same thing for a long time now but was too scared. I was worried that you’d think I was asking for more than you were willing to give. I knew you cared about me but love is such a foreign concept to me nowadays I didn’t even want to imagine what you thought of it. Figured even the sound of it would offend you.”

“Before I met you probably. So much has changed since you flew into my life.”

“My whole life got upheaved when I met you.” I chuckled. “But for the better.”

“Only for the better, my love.” Peter turned around and kissed me. “You make it so difficult to be a gentleman looking as alluring as you do.”

“One of these days we’ll have sex. I can promise that.” I pecked his lips again. “Not tonight but someday. Maybe someday soon.”

“I look forward to the day you ask me to make love to you.” Peter traced my cheek with his thumb. “Maybe then I can look at you naked and not be so flustered.”

“I don’t know. I like seeing you act coy.” I booped his nose, “Makes me feel kinda special knowing that I can fluster you so easily.”

“You’re the only one that can do that, swordfish. Not another person alive has as much control over me as you do.” There was something akin to reverence in his eyes as he stared at me. “I do truly love you with everything that I am.”

I hugged him close. We stayed in the lagoon, our skin growing pruny but neither of us caring. We simply existed next to each other and it was bliss. This is what love was meant to feel like. What true love felt like. I wondered how I had gone so long without it. Without him. My love. My Peter Pan.

---

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#peter pan ouat #ouat peter pan #ouat #neverland #peter pan imagine #peter pan x reader #smut

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bl-garbage · 4 years

Text

to dance is to unshackle

um, okay—how else do i express this buoyant happiness that Gaya sa Pelikula has awoken inside me? i’m in complete and utter awe. i did not expect a drop of what the sixth episode has brought us. more than satisfying, it’s utterly fascinating. this is quite a lengthy post, but if you have the time, please bear with me. and since we’re already here, let’s fucking dissect the shit out of this:

right off the bat, it’s sweet how consistently written Vlad was the entire time of the show. at the start of the episode, for one, he was concerned with Karl’s disposition, saying, “anong iniisip mo (what are you thinking)?” and, later on, as we know, he pops that question again in this episode. what are you thinking? always in limbo. true, it’s considerate, yet more than that, it’s always a sign of waiting for permission. Vlad has been like this since the beginning: observant and willing to reach out, confident on the surface, yes, but always afraid of going overboard.

that is not to say that Karl isn’t. in fact, the whole dynamics of their relationship rest on the fact that they can lean on each other and just be honest. many moments show this: Karl’s desire to shift; Vlad not getting into the film lab and Karl knowing something was up; the entirety of Vlad’s birthday; Karl and Vlad’s reticence to open up to Anna, in contrast with how comfortable they feel with each other. in a nutshell, they’re each other’s homes. more on this later.

the part i was most frightened at with this episode was when Karl finally told his parents his desire to shift. to be honest, personally, i wouldn’t know exactly how that pressure on Karl feels, as i was able to study the degree i wanted. yet, back then, i had already known that my parents, who wholly supported me just the same, would have wanted a degree that leaned on science or engineering. that still sucked to know. Karl’s situation is much more complicated. his desire to shift to another course is to make up for lost time, a sense of hurrying before it really becomes all too late. this was a heavy lot to take in. the disappointment and anger in his father’s face when he dropped the bomb was too much to handle. Karl had expected it, yet its impact still hurled shrapnel that he was not able to dodge, sustaining him with several wounds. it would be curious to see how his parents come to terms with his confession. i am certain that a number of people have connected with Karl here.

which brings me to another point. Gaya sa Pelikula creates these characters with their own agency. it’s touted as a BL series, yes, but our two main characters’ point is actually not to fall in love — but to live, part of which is to fall in love. they have their hopes and dreams and own burdens to carry, and while falling in love takes centerstage here, we see how they can stand alone, on their own two feet. falling in love is central to their growth, but it is evident that love is not the whole point of their existence.

speaking of which: ate judit. ah, yes, where do i even begin to explain the exquisiteness with which ate judit was written? how, after all of five episodes, it was only now did it make sense why judit was overly, unnaturally caring and protective, a mama bear that would not let anything happen to his little Vlad. now we know why: guilt.

imagine that. being told you were the reason why your whole family went into shambles. there is much vindication in Vlad’s line of questioning, “why would you say that to a child?” (god, i’m tearing up even as i write this.) this was a pivotal scene, with a focal point on judit, the likes of whom we cannot entirely fault for not knowing any better. the fact remains that we are still in an era that fails to understand the spectrum of gender identities and the far utopia that we seek, where gender and sex would not be a damning classification anymore. and for true allies, it is in admitting that they “didn’t know then what [they] know now” that their support gains more strength. it is in confessing where they got wrong, how harmful their actions were, and in the commitment to do more, that their promise is made good.

parenthetically, can we talk about Vlad’s mom as well? have you all noticed how her voice broke when she said, “siguraduhin mong hindi ka na itatanggi niyan, ha (just make sure he won’t deny you, okay)?” was that pain, or guilt even? i wonder if we’re ever going to see her. it would be a regret not to. for so long Vlad had thought that he was the reason his father left, and that his mother was mad at his queerness. i wouldn’t want this simple call to be the resolution that the show had for him. at any rate, we have two more episodes to await, so i am not going to strike my gavel on this judgment just yet.

but whereas Vlad found his longtime coming reconciliation with his sister, Karl had no one to turn to. his call to Vlad was a cry for help. it was heartbreaking to see him like this. Karl had always put up a fake smile against any adversity that had come his way. to him, these were trivial matters that would pass, and they did so — until now. after all he was, as we would later come to know, living a script that had been prewritten before he even came to being. that explains his nonchalant demeanor toward life, the seeming discontent behind those dead eyes, and a repeated hinting that he was always yearning for so much more. at the end of the call, Karl instinctively goes to the closet - and his proverbial closet - and sees the skeletons he had hidden inside, drop in a mess.

that it was Karl’s brother who was in the photo shook me. that past was so well thought out. things made so much sense in this episode: why Karl tried to fit in, why everything seemed so fake. why he was so discomforting to watch, even! that made sense now.

and what do you do when everything has become a mess? the once seamless film that had been rolling without any glitches now sprawled on the floor, entangled in a hodgepodge well beyond fixing. when that happens, what do you do? well, you dance.

i have so many things to say about faux masculinity. it is a fact undisputed that in this society, gender roles are still very much pillars that we have yet to dismantle. our genders have been geared toward performativity, and our consolation is the external validation we receive through the acts of fitting in. in the process, we lose sight of what we really want. we blur the lines between what is and what should be, in favor of what society has demanded upon us. Karl took that role and lived by it religiously. yet, those things has gone haywire in this episode. more than his parents, it was to himself that Karl has finally admitted that the act can be dropped now: the fixed posture, those rehearsed lines, that painfully faux masculinity, on guard all the fucking time. all of those things were dropped.

that is not to say that Karl was faking all of it. there is no denying that Karl has been a masculine person most of the time. but the show portrayed before us a discarded femininity that Karl had been trying to bury deep inside him — one that all people who have been and who are still in the closet know by heart. the thing is, all of us have masculine and feminine sides, the expression of which vary at different levels in different situations. sadly, we have been preconditioned to believe that male persons must be masculine, and female persons must be feminine. Gaya sa Pelikula acknowledges this hegemony, and then throws it away all the same. true, Karl may very well be comfortable in his masculine expression, but his femininity must also be allowed to grow. one cannot be complete without embracing the entirety of who they are. many have died — been killed — for simply living who they are. society has long been a vicious environment. but people have also long fought for their fundamental right to perform these things, and through them, we know that things can change. that things are changing.

it is against this context that imprints more meaning, more gravity to when we finally, finally see Karl dance. in every sense, his dance was the show’s climax for me. it is, quite emphatically, freedom incarnate.

when i say i fucking bawled at this scene, you best believe it.

quite important to note: when Karl sees Vlad, he stopped abruptly, only for Vlad to signal to him, in an OK sign, that what he was doing was perfectly fine. that Karl could be effeminate all he wants, and who the hell in this earth should care? this allowance has given Karl all the needed validation he will ever need, at least, for that one night where they could bare it all. it was only the two of them, but the house has never been more crowded, because their feelings have seemingly exploded and have been overflowing in a glorious climax for all of us to witness. in this scene, Karl has unshackled the chains with which he had been bound all that time, and it was Vlad who helped him finally break the last of those chains. in this moment, there was only pure bliss.

(that the song playing here was Ride Home by ben&ben is the perfect giveaway. for non-Filipino readers who have only listened to ben&ben now, check this band out. it’s one of the best bands to have ever come out of the Philippine music industry.)

and, of course, in this waterfall of emotions, it is only perfect to time the moment of their first kiss. they have accepted each other, haven’t they? in a meaningful act (the gravity of which we will only realize in full later when Vlad tells the story of his dad), Karl rumpled Vlad’s hair, but only after Vlad had already consented to it. then, afterward, it was Vlad’s turn to ask, what are you thinking? to which Karl had this—and i know we all expected it, nevertheless—to say: i don’t want to think anymore. then they kissed.

i swear to god. i only watched this for the 92432475781 time.

the denouement was so well put, too: now everything is put back into its own place. Karl’s brother. his death. his parents’ expectations. the substitution. Vlad’s father. his parents’ expectations. the horror of realizing one’s difference. the abandonment. in these stories, it becomes more and more permissible to believe that Karl and Vlad have easily found comfort in each other. to say that they are soulmates (as the creator, juan miguel severo, told on his twitter) is not an exaggeration.

and, make no mistake: Karl and Vlad did not find each other’s embraces out of pity. no. it would be unduly harsh to view them that way. rather, they found solace in each other’s embrace and warmth, but it is still they who will muster the courage to face their own demons. the only difference is, they now have each other to find some sort of release. they are not destructively dependent on each other; instead, they help each other grow into the versions of themselves that they can be proud of.

finally, a couple of small things: look at the way Karl was inviting Vlad to lie in bed with him. that simple gesture harks us back to the early days of their dynamics: Vlad had expressed that it was okay to share a bed, but Karl was adamant that they do not. Karl had once dreamed of Vlad joining him there, and that scared him shitless. in contrast to that, now we have this: Karl himself inviting Vlad, and Vlad accepting for Karl’s wholehearted invitation. the moment this happened, there was a consummation of the expression of their love. if they had their doubts prior to this, those could not have been more obliterated now.

needless to say, i fucking, fucking loved this. as one who has only ever written three fanfics (2gether and History 2!), all of which seemingly related to sleeping (what the fuck, do i have a sleep fetish or something), this ending to episode 6 is just the cherry on top.

their lines by the end particularly strike me. here we have Karl who wishes to create his own stories. on the other hand is Vlad who wishes that he be in charge of the endings, too. how do they do that? who knows? but the certainty that defines their pact is that they shall do it together, unbound and free to dance to the song they have chosen of their own accord. and that simple promise, made in each other’s tight embrace under artificially warm lights amid that early january weather, with no certainty at all of what tomorrow has to bring, has made all the difference.

in 34 minutes, Gaya sa Pelikula has, yet again, done more than we could have ever expected.

i just checked and this reached 2k words. i’m not even gonna attempt to proofread this anymore. anyway, this is all i have to say for now. i just simply cannot let go of the best episode i’ve seen in this show without expressing my own reaction to it.

(also: i’m thinking of writing a fanfic; that is, the morning after. just a one-shot, hopefully a cute one. as usual, an introspection of these characters, and what lies ahead. hope i actually get to write it!)

thank you so much, Gaya sa Pelikula. you are proof that things do change.

#gaya sa pelikula #ian pangilinan #paolo pangilinan #juan miguel severo #fanfic ideas have been brewing inside me #char #bl series #philippines #philippine bl series

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louistomlinsoncouk · 3 years

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“I’ve just watched loads of s___ TV,” he says after a long pause. “The Undoing is decent, isn’t it?”

Far from aimless, however, today the singer is full of beans, cheerily shushing his barking dog as he potters about his North London home where he lives with his best friend from home, Oli, and his girlfriend, the model Eleanor Calder.

Was he left reeling, I ask, unable to perform at such a crucial moment?

Sure, I say, but the last year can’t have been easy. Didn’t he feel like his purpose had popped?

In return, Tomlinson is good to them. Last month he even promised some new music, saying that he’d written four songs in four days. Does this mean that a second album is on the way?

It must be draining, I say, the weight of expectation in both the media and across his fanbase, to be a spokesperson for grief and hardship. To have tragedy prelude everything he does and says.

“Honestly, it’s part of being from Doncaster as well, I don’t like people feeling sorry for me. That’s the last thing I want.”

There is something that’s helping, though: a secret spot near Los Angeles, where he divides his time to see his four-year-old son, Freddie, whom he shares with his ex Briana Jungwirth, a stylist. “It’s remote and kind of weird, and I’m going to go there for three days and write. I don’t know why I’m so drawn to it. I found it via a YouTube video. It’s got some very interesting locals who live there, it’s sort of backwards when it comes to technology. It feels like you’re going back in time when you’re there. But I don’t want to give it away.”

Has he spoken to Frusicante?

“I f______ wish,” snorts Tomlinson.

Surely someone as well-known as Tomlinson could easily get in touch?

“No, honestly, I think he’s too cool for that. He’s not into that kind of thing.”

So: might 2021 be the year of resurrection?

#louis tomlinson #24nov20

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traeumenvonbuechern · 3 years

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June Wrap-Up

1. Can't Take That Away (Steven Salvatore)

Carey Parker dreams of being a diva, and bringing the house down with song. But despite their talent, emotional scars from an incident with a homophobic classmate and their grandmother's spiraling dementia make it harder and harder for Carey to find their voice. Then Carey meets Cris, a singer/guitarist who makes Carey feel seen for the first time in their life. With the rush of a promising new romantic relationship, Carey finds the confidence to audition for the role of Elphaba, the Wicked Witch of the West, in the school musical, setting off a chain reaction of prejudice by Carey's tormentor and others in the school. It's up to Carey, Cris, and their friends to defend their rights--and they refuse to be silenced.

2. Sanditon (Jane Austen)

Written in the last months of Austen's life, Sanditon features a glorious cast of hypochondriacs and speculators in a newly established seaside resort, and shows the author contemplating a changing society with scepticism and amusement. It tells the story of Charlotte Heywood, who is transported by a chance accident from her rural hometown to Sanditon, where she is exposed to the intrigues and dalliances of a small town determined to reinvent itself - and encounters the intriguingly handsome Sidney Parker.

3. The Witch King (H.E. Edgmon)

Wyatt would give anything to forget where he came from—but a kingdom demands its king. In Asalin, fae rule and witches like Wyatt Croft…don’t. Wyatt’s betrothal to his best friend, fae prince Emyr North, was supposed to change that. But when Wyatt lost control of his magic one devastating night, he fled to the human world. Now a coldly distant Emyr has hunted him down. Despite transgender Wyatt’s newfound identity and troubling past, Emyr has no intention of dissolving their engagement. In fact, he claims they must marry now or risk losing the throne. Jaded, Wyatt strikes a deal with the enemy, hoping to escape Asalin forever. But as he gets to know Emyr, Wyatt realizes the boy he once loved may still exist. And as the witches face worsening conditions, he must decide once and for all what’s more important—his people or his freedom.

4. One Last Stop (Casey McQuiston)

For cynical twenty-three-year-old August, moving to New York City is supposed to prove her right: that things like magic and cinematic love stories don’t exist, and the only smart way to go through life is alone. She can’t imagine how waiting tables at a 24-hour pancake diner and moving in with too many weird roommates could possibly change that. And there’s certainly no chance of her subway commute being anything more than a daily trudge through boredom and electrical failures. But then, there’s this gorgeous girl on the train. Jane. Dazzling, charming, mysterious, impossible Jane. Jane with her rough edges and swoopy hair and soft smile, showing up in a leather jacket to save August’s day when she needed it most. August’s subway crush becomes the best part of her day, but pretty soon, she discovers there’s one big problem: Jane doesn’t just look like an old school punk rocker. She’s literally displaced in time from the 1970s, and August is going to have to use everything she tried to leave in her own past to help her. Maybe it’s time to start believing in some things, after all.

5. Between Perfect and Real (Ray Stoeve)

Dean Foster knows he’s a trans guy. He’s watched enough YouTube videos and done enough questioning to be sure. But everyone at his high school thinks he’s a lesbian—including his girlfriend Zoe, and his theater director, who just cast him as a “nontraditional” Romeo. He wonders if maybe it would be easier to wait until college to come out. But as he plays Romeo every day in rehearsals, Dean realizes he wants everyone to see him as he really is now––not just on the stage, but everywhere in his life. Dean knows what he needs to do. Can playing a role help Dean be his true self?

6. The Cruel Prince (Holly Black)

Jude was seven when her parents were murdered and she and her two sisters were stolen away to live in the treacherous High Court of Faerie. Ten years later, Jude wants nothing more than to belong there, despite her mortality. But many of the fey despise humans. Especially Prince Cardan, the youngest and wickedest son of the High King. To win a place at the Court, she must defy him–and face the consequences. As Jude becomes more deeply embroiled in palace intrigues and deceptions, she discovers her own capacity for trickery and bloodshed. But as betrayal threatens to drown the Courts of Faerie in violence, Jude will need to risk her life in a dangerous alliance to save her sisters, and Faerie itself.

7. Boy Queen (George Lester)

Robin Cooper’s life is falling apart. While his friends prepare to head off to university, Robin is looking at a pile of rejection letters from drama schools up and down the country, and facing a future without the people he loves the most. Everything seems like it’s ending, and Robin is scrabbling to find his feet. Unsure about what to do next and whether he has the talent to follow his dreams, he and his best friends go and drown their sorrows at a local drag show, where Robin realises there might be a different, more sequinned path for him . . . With a mother who won't stop talking, a boyfriend who won't acknowledge him and a best friend who is dying to cover him in glitter make up, there's only one thing for Robin to do: bring it to the runway.

8. Felix Ever After (Kacen Callender)

Felix Love has never been in love—and, yes, he’s painfully aware of the irony. He desperately wants to know what it’s like and why it seems so easy for everyone but him to find someone. What’s worse is that, even though he is proud of his identity, Felix also secretly fears that he’s one marginalization too many—Black, queer, and transgender—to ever get his own happily-ever-after. When an anonymous student begins sending him transphobic messages—after publicly posting Felix’s deadname alongside images of him before he transitioned—Felix comes up with a plan for revenge. What he didn’t count on: his catfish scenario landing him in a quasi–love triangle.... But as he navigates his complicated feelings, Felix begins a journey of questioning and self-discovery that helps redefine his most important relationship: how he feels about himself.

9. Wuthering Heights (Emily Brontë)

Lockwood, the new tenant of Thrushcross Grange on the bleak Yorkshire moors, is forced to seek shelter one night at Wuthering Heights, the home of his landlord. There he discovers the history of the tempestuous events that took place years before: of the intense passion between the foundling Heathcliff and Catherine Earnshaw, and her betrayal of him. As Heathcliff's bitterness and vengeance is visited upon the next generation, their innocent heirs must struggle to escape the legacy of the past.

10. Ace of Spades (Faridah Àbíké-Íyímídé)

Welcome to Niveus Private Academy, where money paves the hallways, and the students are never less than perfect. Until now. Because anonymous texter, Aces, is bringing two students' dark secrets to light. Talented musician Devon buries himself in rehearsals, but he can't escape the spotlight when his private photos go public. Head girl Chiamaka isn't afraid to get what she wants, but soon everyone will know the price she has paid for power. Someone is out to get them both. Someone who holds all the aces. And they're planning much more than a high-school game...

11. The Queer Principles of Kit Webb (Cat Sebastian)

Kit Webb has left his stand-and-deliver days behind him. But dreary days at his coffee shop have begun to make him pine for the heady rush of thievery. When a handsome yet arrogant aristocrat storms into his shop, Kit quickly realizes he may be unable to deny whatever this highborn man desires. In order to save himself and a beloved friend, Percy, Lord Holland must go against every gentlemanly behavior he holds dear to gain what he needs most: a book that once belonged to his mother, a book his father never lets out of his sight and could be Percy’s savior. More comfortable in silk-filled ballrooms than coffee shops frequented by criminals, his attempts to hire the roughly hewn highwayman, formerly known as Gladhand Jack, proves equal parts frustrating and electrifying. Kit refuses to participate in the robbery but agrees to teach Percy how to do the deed. Percy knows he has little choice but to submit and as the lessons in thievery begin, he discovers thievery isn’t the only crime he’s desperate to commit with Kit. But when their careful plan goes dangerously wrong and shocking revelations threaten to tear them apart, can these stolen hearts withstand the impediments in their path?

12. Weekend Girl (Alex Powell)

Ashley Kingston is a genderfluid university student with a major crush on attractive and charming Nolan. He seems just too perfect to be true. What happens when Ash meets Nolan while dressed as both a man, and a woman? And even more confusing, what happens when Nolan seems enamoured of both versions of Ash? A twisty-turny romance filled with fun and shenanigans.

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hlupdate · 3 years

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“I’ve just watched loads of s___ TV,” he says after a long pause. “The Undoing is decent, isn’t it?”

Far from aimless, however, today the singer is full of beans, cheerily shushing his barking dog as he potters about his North London home where he lives with his best friend from home, Oli, [...].

Was he left reeling, I ask, unable to perform at such a crucial moment?

Sure, I say, but the last year can’t have been easy. Didn’t he feel like his purpose had popped?

In return, Tomlinson is good to them. Last month he even promised some new music, saying that he’d written four songs in four days. Does this mean that a second album is on the way?

It must be draining, I say, the weight of expectation in both the media and across his fanbase, to be a spokesperson for grief and hardship. To have tragedy prelude everything he does and says.

“Honestly, it’s part of being from Doncaster as well, I don’t like people feeling sorry for me. That’s the last thing I want.”

There is something that’s helping, though: a secret spot near Los Angeles, [...] “It’s remote and kind of weird, and I’m going to go there for three days and write. I don’t know why I’m so drawn to it. I found it via a YouTube video. It’s got some very interesting locals who live there, it’s sort of backwards when it comes to technology. It feels like you’re going back in time when you’re there. But I don’t want to give it away.”

Has he spoken to Frusicante?

“I f______ wish,” snorts Tomlinson.

Surely someone as well-known as Tomlinson could easily get in touch?

“No, honestly, I think he’s too cool for that. He’s not into that kind of thing.”

So: might 2021 be the year of resurrection?

#louis tomlinson #241120 #lt livestream #e and f mentions from the journalist removed where there is [...]#nothing altered from louis #stunt mention #at the link

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pocket-luv101 · 3 years

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First Impressions // Chapter 2

Fandom: Servamp Ship: LawLicht (main), KuroMahi (side), Tetsono (side), Jekuni (side) Characters: Hyde, Licht, Kuro, Mahiru

Summary: After Licht meets the wealthy bachelor, Hyde, she was certain that she could never be friends with him. Their paths continues to cross and she slowly comes to know him. Licht wonders if she judged him too quickly. (LawLicht, Pride and Prejudice AU, Fem Licht)

Ch.1 // (Ch.2) //

“Mother made it clear that she believes Sakura is the only one of us five who will catch the attention of a Servamp. Why must we waste time at this party as well? I would prefer to be home with my piano.” Licht lifted her champagne glass to sip her drink. She was stopped when Mahiru placed her hand over the glass and gently forced her to lower the cup to the table.

The town was holding a public ball to welcome the Servamp. The family was known for their wealth and generous donations so the mayor couldn’t be happier to hear that they rented the Hanafield manor. Licht thought the party was disingenuous at best. She didn’t enjoy crowds but their mother forced her to attend the ball. Their mother thought it was the perfect opportunity to meet the family. She sat at a table with her sisters and watched the others dance.

“This night will quickly turn to ruin if you drink wine, Licht. Not a single person in our family can hold their alcohol.” Mahiru warned her and swapped her drink for tea. “I understand that you find this party troublesome but it’s rude to refuse an invitation from the mayor. Furthermore, we should be here to protect our dear sister. Who knows what troubles mother will create to match Sakura with a Servamp? Mother considers her the most beautiful.”

Licht knew how modestly Mahiru spoke of herself and she didn’t know if it was for politeness or an insecurity she felt. She wanted to encourage her sister. “Sakura is beautiful but you’re more so. Your appearance can catch a man’s attention but it’s your bright mind that will capture their heart. Though, I would miss you if you decide to marry and leave.”

“Thinking simply, I cannot leave my sisters either. I would worry every minute I’m away from our home. You and Mikuni would set the house aflame the moment you two step foot into the kitchen.” Mahiru meant to joke with her sister but she couldn’t bring herself to laugh. She lifted her drink to her lips and sighed softly. The mention of their home reminded of their father’s will and how they could lose everything.

Licht could read Mahiru’s thoughts through her brown eyes. Even she knew that the ball was no place to discuss such a private matter. Her grip around the cup tightened until her knuckles became white under her gloves. She wished she could help Mikuni find a way to keep their home. She wasn't as knowledgeable about business or laws since her passion was music.

In the corner of her eyes, she noticed a group enter the ballroom. The entire room fell silent in awe of the family even before the footman introduced them. “Presenting the Servamps.”

The footman listed the siblings’ names but Licht barely heard his voice. She felt as if she was once again plunged into the creek and he was standing before her. The blond man who helped her the previous day was a Servamp and standing in the opened doorway. The cold shock she felt instantly became a burning rage when she recalled how he mocked her sister. She jumped to her feet to confront him once more.

“Do you intend to courtesy politely as they pass, Licht? If not, it’s best you sit back down. Let’s not cause a scandal.” Mikuni whispered the warning to her. They had told Mikuni and Misono about the encounter after they returned home soaking wet. She never expected the two men were a part of the Servamp family. “You may dislike him but open hostility is only excusable for men.”

Mikuni understood Licht’s anger but she also knew how the party would judge her sister if she attacked the blond Servamp. She leaned back in her chair and watched the Servamps cross the room towards them. She didn’t know why they would approach their table when they were a modest family with a more modest rank. Her voice lowered to a whisper as she addressed Licht. “It is unwise to confront him directly but I imagine you’re smart enough to think of other ways.”

Mikuni stood as the Servamps stopped before their family. She took the edge of her gown delicately into her hands and then made a shallow courtesy to greet them. She kept her thoughts hidden behind a wall of politeness and rehearsed greetings. “Welcome to the countryside, my lord. I hope you find our humble town to your liking. I am Mikuni Alicein Eve. May I introduce you to my sisters?”

“My brothers have already met two of your sisters. Though, they weren’t able to exchange a proper introduction. We wanted to come and apologize for the rudeness. I am the youngest, Snow Lily Olive Servamp.” He introduced himself and bowed. Then, Lily stood and light nudged his brother forward. “This is my eldest brother, Kuro Sleepy Ash Servamp.”

“It’s a pleasure to meet you again, Lord Servamp.” Mahiru greeted him politely and went on to introduce the rest of her family. Kuro bowed in return and Licht noticed how he had specifically regarded Mahiru with the gesture. “Thank you for stopping me from falling into the creek. Your brother saved my sister as well.”

“You may call me Kuro. I have so many siblings and our conversation will easily become confusing if you use our surname. I was never one for titles anyways.” Kuro told her. He hoped that he wasn’t being too forward with the offer. Often, only people who were close would casually refer to each other by their first name.

Mahiru appeared surprised at first but then her eyes softened into a smile. She held out her hand to him and said, “Then I insist that you use my name as well.”

“Mahiru,” He repeated her name. Kuro gently took her hand into his and lifted her fingers to his lips. The polite gesture left a lingering warmth on her gloved hand even after he let her go.

“Hyde, you should introduce yourself to the family as well.” Lily spoke to a shorter blond man. Mikuni interrupted them before they could speak.

“You’re the youngest of your family but remarkably polite and honourable. I would say that those are traits your older brothers have taught you. But, if your brothers knew their manners, they would have introduced themselves and apologized rather than having the role fall onto their young brother. As the eldest of my sisters, I would never ask them to apologize on my behalf.” Mikuni’s compliment to Lily was lined with barbed words.

“Mikuni, I think their good character was shown when they saved us.” Mahiru didn’t think it was fair for her sisters to antagonize the family after only one meeting. She understood that they mainly wanted to defend her honour and she tried to show them that she wasn’t affected by Hyde’s comment. “Kuro, I heard that your family will be moving into the estate next to ours and we will be neighbours. I would like to extend an olive branch between our family with a dance. Will you take a turn around the room with me?”

“It would be a pleasure.” Kuro held out his arm to her. She placed her hand in the crook of his arm and he led her onto the ballroom. Mahiru looked over her shoulder to silently speak with them. She mouthed for them to be cordial with the Servamps. Licht rolled her eyes at her motherly warning but she nodded in understanding. As much as she disliked Hyde for his comment, she wouldn’t make her sister upset.

Licht sat at the table again and only partially listened to Mikuni converse with the Servamps. She wasn’t as sociable as Mikuni or Mahiru and she found it difficult to join a conversation with strangers. She leaned towards Misono who sat next to her. “Both Mikuni and Mahiru are distracted. Perhaps, we can sneak into the library. I heard the mayor has imported a collection of Shakespeare plays.”

“They’ll eventually discover that we left the party and, no doubt, lecture us.” She whispered back.

“But we would already have our prize.” Her laughter was surprisingly light for the mischief she intended.

“Then, we must ask the caterer if they have sweets so we can return home with many treasures from our adventures.”

“Pardon me, Eve.” Hyde’s voice interrupted their conversation as he sat in the seat across from her. Licht was slightly irritated that his presence brought Mikuni’s attention back to them and they could no longer sneak away. He said, “I didn’t intend to insult your sister with my comment. But offense has been made and I would like to apologize. The next song will be starting in a few minutes. Do you dance, Eve?”

“Not if I can help it. Regrettably, I am not very graceful on my feet. I dare say that my dancing is barely a step above the way you floundered in the water yesterday.” Despite her comment, Hyde only laughed. She had expected him to be offended yet he wore an amused grin. “You don’t need to sit with us because you feel it’s the polite thing to do.”

“I find your family much more fun than the other guests here. I like that you speak your mind. It must be because you’re from a large family. We have that in common.” Hyde nodded towards Kuro and Mahiru dancing together. “They’re getting along. Our cross will pass more often if they truly become friends. Will you forgive me for my comment about your sister and forgive me?”

Her sister had already forgiven him and Licht didn’t have a reason to be upset on her behalf. Licht thought Hyde was rude but his family appeared kind. “You have four siblings. Even a large manor like Hanafield must feel crowded with so many people. Are you planning to live in the countryside? Wealthy folks like you tend to vacation here and spend the rest of your time in London.”

“There are actually eight of us all together.” He told her and her eyes widened. Licht had thought her family of five was large. Her reaction made him chuckle since he thought it was endearing and he wanted to see her other expression. “Three of my siblings decided not to come to the party. My brother, Doubt, has been working in this town for a while now. He said this is a quiet town and we decided to move here too.”

“Your family is rather famous so I’m surprised that we haven’t heard about a Servamp working in our town.” Misono said.

“He wanted to have a normal life so he changed his name before he moved here. We still keep in contact.” Hyde explained and Licht became curious about who his brother could be. From the way he smiled as he spoke of his family, she knew that he cared about them. “Doubt never enjoyed parties like this. Kuro doesn’t either but Lily convinced him to come.”

“Do you like parties?” Licht asked.

“With the right company.” He shrugged. “Though, this is the first time I’ve met someone interesting like you at a party.”

“Do you see Tetsu? I would like to ask him for another crab cake.” Misono asked Licht as they walked through the ballroom. She scanned the crowd and searched for the tall man. Licht knew that Misono’s true wish was to speak with the man rather than order food. Her sister could be shy and stubborn so she wouldn’t admit her feelings to others easily.

“Tetsu has many jobs, doesn’t he? He works at his family business, helps care for our horses and now he’s a waiter. He has a shift tomorrow but he’ll likely be tired after working throughout the night. You should talk to Mikuni and ask her to give Tetsu a day off. You and him can go horseback riding for fun.” Licht suggested and Misono blushed as she imagined it. It was clear to see that she had a crush.

“Do you think we’ll be able to convince Mikuni to let us ride into town? You know how protective she can be.” Due to Misono’s weak body, she could easily become sick and her sisters would fret over her. “I would like to buy a present for Mikuni. She has been stressed ever since she found Father’s will. The cakes that Eva sells always bring a smile to her face.”

“I can act as your escort during your walk with Tetsu. Mikuni can trust me to kick anyone who harms our precious little sister. Not even a giant like Tetsu is safe from a sister’s wrath. He might be a giant but we’re a family of angels.” Licht joked and patted her sister’s back. “I heard angel wings flutter when you dance with a person you love. You should ask Tetsu to dance with you.”

“That’s far too forward, Licht. I could never do that.” Misono’s face became red and she looked towards the ground to hide it. She was disappointed that she couldn’t dance with Tetsu because he was serving food to the guests. She admired how confident her older sisters were and she wished she could be more like them. They had always been supportive to her.

They stopped when they heard their mother’s voice. “Licht! Misono! I must speak with you two at this moment. Come with me.”

Their mother forced her way between them and took Licht and Misono’s arm. She dragged them to the corner of the room where the party wouldn’t be able to overhear them easily. Licht didn’t know why their mother appeared so frantic since the party had been uneventful. “Did something happen, Mother? I can find Mahiru and Mikuni if you feel unwell.”

“How could you not introduce your little sister to the Servamps when they approached our table? I heard rumours that Mahiru danced with Sleepy Ash. Do you know how sad Sakura was after she heard that? He would’ve danced with her if he saw how beautiful she was.” Her voice was a harsh whisper but it caused Misono to flinch slightly.

Licht stepped in front of her little sister to protect her from their mother’s glare. “Sakura was dancing and we couldn’t tell her immediately without being rude. I told you about my meeting with the blond demon who spoke poorly of Mahiru. He is a part of the family and I don’t think someone so rude will be right for Sakura. I’m certain that she’ll catch the eye of someone better.”

“You’re right.” Their mother nodded. “But I would still prefer to match Sakura with a prestigious family like the Servamps. She’ll be the one to save our family from destitution. Mikuni is much too focused on the business to find a family and Mahiru is such a wallflower. I doubt anyone will ask Misono to dance either.”

“Mother!” Licht yelled over her and her shout drew the attention of the entire room. She didn’t recoil from the stares and she kept her back straight. Even if she was her mother, she wouldn’t allow a person to insult her sisters. “My sisters are all brilliant and it’s a shame their own mother can’t see that.”

She turned away from her and pulled Misono away. Mikuni and Mahiru quickly joined them. She placed a hand on Misono’s shoulder. “This ballroom is too crowded. We should go outside for some fresh air.”

Before she could escape with her sister, Licht crashed into a person standing behind her. She felt something cold spill onto her dress and she looked down to see red wine staining her bodice. She looked up into eyes that were the same colour as the wine. Hyde smiled sheepishly and set aside his wine glass. “I’m sorry, Lichtan, I’ll pay for a new dress. For now, please take my napkin.”

“You don’t need to give me your napkin. I can wash this off better by myself.” She didn’t put much importance in clothes. She hooked her arm around Misono and walked away. “At least the demon gives us an excuse to leave.”

Licht held a candle close to the bookcase so she could read the titles of the book. After the scene in the ballroom, Misono was likely upset. She thought a book would help her feel better so she visited the library. Her friend worked at the library and he allowed her to search for a book to borrow. She walked around the bookcase and she was surprised to see a person sitting against the wall.

The lantern next to the man illuminated his face and she was surprised to see that it was Hyde. The library was closed and others shouldn’t be able to enter. He noticed her approach and he glanced up from the book on his lap. The room was dark with only sparse candlelight around them but he could see her shock. She had expressive blue eyes.

“I didn’t break into the library. I promised the mayor that I would make a generous donation to the library if he allows me to visit whenever I want.” He told her and closed the book. Hyde held up the library’s key to show her he was being truthful. “After a party, I like to read alone and a library after dark is the best place. Are you here in search of a book as well, Angel Cakes? I can help you find it.”

“I’m not much of a reader but my sister likes them. The only writers I know are the popular ones like Shakespeare. I wanted to borrow one of his plays from the library for her.” Licht ran her fingers over the spines of the book and she searched for the section that held the plays. Hyde stood and then he took down a few books.

“Shakespeare is famous for his tragedies but he has written a few comedies as well. They might cheer up your sister. Here, this is Midsummer Night’s Dream. She might also like this one.” Licht took the books from him and read the summary on the back. He mentioned that the book would lift her sister’s spirits and she wondered if he was referring to the scene her mother caused. He didn’t push the subject though.

“Thank you. She’ll like this one.” Licht slipped the books into her bag. Hyde leaned against the bookcase and stopped her from leaving immediately.

“I overheard your mother’s words to your sister. They were unfair. I planned to ask her to dance to prove your mother wrong but I ruined your dress instead.” Hyde had seen Licht defend her sister and he was impressed by her passion. “My siblings thought you sisters were wonderful when they spoke with them. You already know how great they are, don’t you, Lichtan?”

“I am an angel and it’s my duty to protect me sisters.” Licht’s voice was firm with her conviction. Hyde smiled at her declaration and he pushed himself off the shelf. He returned to the candle where he was reading earlier. He was much kinder than she first thought he was but she didn’t know if she should change her first impression of him yet.

#servamp #lawlicht #greed pair #servamp hyde #licht jekylland todoroki #fanfiction #fem mahiru #tetsono #kuromahi

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goldensunflowers98 · 3 years

Text

Coffee House Dreams

Luke Hemmings Imagine

Please let me know what you think❤️

Aurora sighed as she blew a golden blonde curl from her line of vision once again, her fingers lightly pressing against the piano keys while trying to find the right sound. The small coffee shoppe nestled in one of the side streets of London, where her sister worked tirelessly, bustled with life, the strong scent of espresso overwhelming her senses with every inhale.

She was here almost everyday since she couldn't afford a piano this nice at home, knew most of the customers by name, and she always enjoyed a classic, sweet, vanilla cappuccino after a long day at Uni.

Aurora was a simple girl who loved the sight of rain droplets on rose petals, the sound of the ocean waves crashing against the shore at night, and the scent of espresso as she played the piano. She loved the color red, especially her crimson colored scrunchie that currently tied her mess of golden curls up, and she found unkind people to be the scum of the earth.

She also found the mysterious blonde haired, blue eyed boy that hid his face being a pair of sunglasses and a steaming caramel latte to be the most beautiful creature she'd ever seen. He had started coming in just in the past week, but Aurora found his Australian accent positively enchanting and the dimples that appeared when he smiled made her slam her fingers down on the keys of the piano the first time she saw them, causing a loud crash of discord to sound through the small shoppe and for her to duck her blushing face when he whipped around confused.

He sat perched at the window seat across the way and Aurora noticed how he had a blueberry muffin as well today, his fingers picking at the treat as he watched the raindrops rolls down the clear glass beside him.

He looked sad today, Aurora noticed, the corner of his lips turned downwards and he anxiously fidgeted every few minutes, scratching his temple with his sweater paw.

Now, noticing she was staring like a crazy person, Aurora clears her throat, turning her attention back to the keys and the song she was trying to figure out.

Well the sky is finally open, the rain and wind stopped blowin'

But you're stuck out in the same old storm again

The notes just don't sound as perfect as she wanted and she tries again in another key.

You hold tight to your umbrella, well, darlin' I'm just tryin' to tell ya

That there's always been a rainbow hangin' over your head

She groans to herself, placing her head down on the polished wood, frustrated that she couldn't even get the cords right to her own song.

"That's a beautiful song. Have you tried it starting out in 'G' though?"

She gasps in shock, jumping backwards, her sheet music flying everywhere, and she nearly falls off the piano stool as she hears the accented voice of the mysterious boy who loved caramel lattes right beside her.

He looks mortified at her reaction, his bright blue eyes that were no longer covered by sunglasses were wide and his long arms were out like he was about to catch her before she hit the ground.

"Whoa! I'm sorry! I didn't mean to scare you," he says but it's all muffled as Aurora stares up at him in shock and wonder.

This mysterious boy wasn't so mysterious after all. He was Luke freaking Hemmings from her old favorite band, 5 Seconds of Summer. She had been staring at Luke Hemmings like a certified freak for over a week now and didn't notice. She really needed to get more sleep.

"It's fine. Everything is fine. Just startled me is all. First, you're way over there and now, you're all the way over here. You must have some long legs on you," she mumbles frantically like a crazy person, picking up her sheet music and as she finishes her sentence, her eyes trail from his torso, down his long legs, and to his feet that were awkwardly doing this thing where they turned into one another. "I rest my case."

He laughs lightly at that and her eyebrows raise when he rests his latte cup on top of the piano as if he was staying awhile.

"Sorry, I tend to creep up on people without them noticing. I'm Luke, by the way," he reaches out his hand for her to shake and Aurora smiles at the sight of his red gel fingernails, her favorite color.

"Aurora... I love the red," she says, earning a brilliant beam from him with a hint of a blush. He mumbles a 'thank you' quietly, tucking a wild blonde curl behind his ear sheepishly.

"You come in here a lot. Do you live close by or something?" He asks, taking a sip of his hot drink as she assorts her music once more.

"Are you stalking me, Luke?" She smirks as he nearly chokes on his drink and starts to fumble over his words.

"N-No! No, I just hear you play every time I come in. It's quite nice and it's a small... it's a small shoppe. Oh, god... Please don't think I'm a psycho stalker," he winces behind his cup, knowing his previous words made him sound like a creep.

"I'm just kidding," she giggles with a mischievous grin, finding his nervousness to be quite funny. "It's a small and quiet coffee house. Not many new people come in, so you're a sight for sore eyes, for sure."

She furrows her brows as he doesn't really reply to her statement, looking back at the door as it chimes, lips bitten harshly by his front teeth. He looks disappointed as Andrew, the local dog walker who liked a double fudge hot cocoa after a long morning of trudging along behind a sweet saint bernard, two huskies that were brothers, Mrs. Henderson's prize winning poodle, and a teacup yorkie that had a bite of a lion, walked in.

"Waiting for someone?" She asked quietly, trying to be gentle as his face is crestfallen after checking the time.

"Uh.." he runs his hand through his curls, tugging at the roots anxiously for a moment before turning back to her. "My girlfriend. She... We've been fighting a lot recently, but she was supposed to meet me an hour ago to talk some stuff out."

Sierra Deaton, Luke's girlfriend, was a sweet girl from what Aurora observed from the tweets and Instagram posts, but every relationship had its downfalls.

"Maybe she's stuck in traffic. You know how London is," she once again tries to be gentle with his feelings and her heart aches just a bit when she sees his deep frown.

"Yeah... Maybe it's just London." He hides his upset eyes by a fake smile and Aurora finds it upsetting at just how good he seemed at that specific action; hiding his true feelings.

"Fuck," he suddenly curses, looking frantic for a second as he starts collecting all of his belongings.

"What's wrong?" Aurora asks, his nervousness making her anxiety spike.

"I'm late for rehearsal. Shit! I completely forgot," he shoves his phone in his pocket and shoots back the rest of his latte quickly. "It was so nice finally meeting you! Um, I'll probably see you tomorrow! Try starting the song out in G!" As quick as he stumbles out his words, he is out of the shoppe and Aurora watches in hazy confusion as he speed walks past the window, tugging at his hair nervously again.

"That boy is going to go bald one day if he keeps that up," she mumbles, turning back to her piano and feeling a bit confused and star struck by her encounter.

"What boy?" She hears her sister ask as she walks around the corner, taking Luke's empty mug from off the piano and placing it in the dirty dish tray she had rested on her hip.

"Just a boy, Cece," she smiles up at her older sister who looked disheveled after a long shift. "Damn, you look rough."

Celestia rolls her eyes playfully at her little sister, reaching up to maintain her jet black hair that was nothing like her sister's. You would have never have known that they were related if you had set your eyes on the curly blonde haired, green eyed, shy girl and the older, upbeat girl with obsidian hair and bright, blue eyes. "Want another cappuccino?" She asks, earning a grin and a nod from Aurora as she walks away.

Looking down at the ivory keys, Aurora hums to herself as she hovers her fingers over the 'G' key. Beginning to play the song, she can't help but grin and scribble down notes inside her tattered song journal. Maybe Luke knew what he was talking about after all.

________

The sun is dimly shining the next morning and Aurora inhales the smell of wet asphalt after the night full of rain, a small smile on her face. Turning the corner towards the coffee shoppe, she nearly stops in her tracks as she sees a familiar, teary-eyed boy through the window, sitting in his normal seat. He was alone, no coffee or muffin in sight and she watches as he buries his distraught face in his hands.

Trudging along slowly while taking looks back at the upset Luke through the window, Aurora frowns as she enters the shoppe and walks over to the counter. "Hey, Cece. I need a vanilla cappuccino, a caramel latte, and two blueberry muffins, please. Put extra caramel drizzle and whipped cream on the latte too."

She ignores her sister's confused smirk as she places the money on the counter, continuing to look over at Luke, who's shoulders were now lightly shaking with sobs. Her order is quick to arrive and she collects the cups and muffins carefully, making a beeline towards Luke's table.

"Hey, sunshine," she whispers solemnly, a gentle, comforting smile on her lips as he looks up with red rimmed eyes, a flushed nose and cheeks, and sniffles quietly.

"Hey," he croaks, wiping his eyes and looking embarrassed that she caught him in his weakest moments.

She slowly slides the muffin and caramel latte in front of him and when he looks up at her confused that she got his order right, she shrugs lightly. "Lucky guess," she says before taking the seat in front of him.

"I know we just met and aren't the best of friends, but I felt like you needed someone to talk to or else you wouldn't be sitting here in the middle of a public coffee house and crying, so... Here I am," she says, stuffing a large bite of blueberry muffin in her mouth and ignoring the crumbs that fall onto the table.

He doesn't say anything for a few moments, a dazed look in his eyes as he gazes out the window and stirs his spoon around and around the rim of his cup.

Aurora is patient, half of her cappuccino finished before he finally parts his lips to speak.

"She left me. She said she didn't want to deal with the distance when we go on tour again and that she didn't trust me to not h-hook up with other girls while I'm gone. I've never done anything but give her l-love and reasons t-to...to trust me! I would n-never cheat."

His words, heaving chest, and his trembling lip are enough to make Aurora wince in sympathy, nearly burning her tongue as he says it in the middle of her taking a larger gulp.

"I'm so sorry, Luke... I know she meant a lot to you or you wouldn't be having this reaction." He nods solemnly as her words before she continues. "If it's any consolation, she didn't deserve you after you kept trying to meet up and talk and she never showed. You tried. She didn't. Some people aren't worth your tears. I know that's not going to stop you from being upset, but it's a thought to think about."

His eyebrows furrow a bit at her words before he gives a small nod. "I guess you're right," he says, showing progress in his mood as he finally picks up his latte and takes a small sip.

It's quiet for a few more minutes and the second that Aurora sees his bottom lip start to tremble again, she panics and leans forward. "Hey," she reaches out and lightly touches his hand. "Want to get out of here? I've got this place I'd like to show you if you let me. It's a bit of a drive, but you won't regret it."

Looking down at his watch, he seems to weigh the pros and cons for a moment before giving in. "Why not?" He says, standing and throwing his jacket on as Aurora looks up, slightly dumbfounded that he accepted.

"Okay," she stands up and gets out an excited giggle, placing their cups in the bin. "Lets go"

With a wave to her sister, who was giving her a proud smirk, Luke puts on his sunglasses and they leave the coffee house, making their way to her car that was parked around the corner.

"Holy shit, this is amazing!" Luke laughs unbelievably at her cherry red 1976 Cadillac Eldorado Convertible with cream colored interior.

"Thanks! It was my granddad's!" Climbing in, she cranks the car and with an excited grin and looking both ways, she pulls out into the traffic.

The wind blows through their hair as the cruise down the roads and Aurora gently smiles when she looks over and sees Luke grinning as he looks at the scenery and people around.

"Here," She hands him her phone as she enjoys the cool breeze, placing her sunnies over her eyes. "You choose the music."

"Brave choice," he hums, taking the phone and beginning to scroll through the songs until he gets to a certain category.

"I knew it!" He shouts with a crazed laugh, Aurora giving him an odd look as she worries for his health.

"You okay there, bub?" She asks with a slight chuckle before he shoves her phone in her face with a wide grin.

"Every one of our albums, including our old EP's, and features. I knew you were a fan!" He laughs as her face drops, a blush taking over her cheeks.

"I never said I wasn't," she sticks her tongue out at him before smirking at his dumbfounded face. "Play a song, doofus." She shoves him playfully as he continues to grin, his thumb scrolling through the songs.

English Love Affair starts playing through the speakers and Aurora rolls her eyes behind her sunglasses. "I see what you did there," she laughs as he smirks over at her cheekily, his sadness hidden well, but Aurora knew it was still under the surface.

________

Oh tie up your boat, take off your coat, and take a look around

Everything is alright now

The door to the coffee shoppe chimes cheerfully the following day, making Aurora look up in curiosity. A smile tugs at her lips as she sees the familiar, lanky, blonde boy walk in but her eyes slightly widen as three other beautiful boys follow behind him.

"Holy mother of God," she mumbles to herself wide eyed as she sees Luke turn towards the piano and give her a smile and wave, making a beeline towards her with the boys in tow.

Gulping, Aurora tries to hide her shaking hands by sitting on them, nervously grinning as they come closer.

"Hey, Ro! These are my friends, Michael, Ashton, and Calum. I told them about your song and they really wanted to hear it." Aurora almost fell over as a pleasant nickname passed through his lips but what really made her vision blurry was the end of his sentence.

"O-Oh, that's so... that's so sweet, Luke. It isn't finished yet though," she frowns, biting her lip as he seems to deflate.

"Oh, well maybe next time then," he says sadly and the look on his face is enough for her to grab his hand as he starts to turn.

"Wait! I-I can show the parts I do have," she says, making his smile appear once again.

The boys all crowd around her, making her feel extremely nervous but with Luke's encouraging smile, she places her still shaking hands over the keys.

When it rain it pours but you didn't even notice

It ain't rainin' anymore, it's hard to breathe when all we know is

The struggle of staying above, the rising water line

She continues the song, trying to his cracking, nervous voice, until she no longer has any lyrics, trailing off with a quiet hum and shaky exhale. "That's all I've got so far," she looks up to see the four boys grinning at her widely.

"She's perfect, Luke," Calum says over to Luke proudly and Ashton nearly jumps up and down.

"Such a smart breadstick, you!" Ashton pats him hard on the back as Michael continues to smile but stay the calm one.

"I don't understand," Aurora nervously picks at her bottom lip as they continue to talk excitedly amongst themselves. That's when she realizes her music journal that was testing on the piano is in Ashton's hand and they are all flickering through the pages with excited grins.

"Um, excuse me," her eyebrows are now furrowed as they read her personal songs and words from her heart and Luke looks up as they hear the edge in her tone.

"Sorry, Ro," He yanks the journal out of their hands and places it back on the piano with an apologetic wince. "I think we owe an explanation." When she nods annoyed, he gulps and continues. "We are in a band called 5 Seconds of Summer."

"I know this... Plus, there's only four of you," she deadpans as Ashton snickers in the back.

"Anyway! We are in a band and we are looking for an opening act and someone to sign, but we didn't want anyone to mainstream or famous. We think you'd be perfect to open for us."

Aurora stares up at them in shock, her mouth becoming dry.

“So... what do you say?” Luke asks, his cheeks turning slightly red.

What should she say?

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a3hastakenovermylife · 3 years

Text

Taichi Deserves the World

Ok, I’ve been listening to Taichi’s character song, Living the Dream. I’ve always loved this song, and it makes me emotional every time I hear it. There is just sooooo much emotion packed into his voice that its almost palpable, its absolutely amazing.

I just today read the English translation, and OH MY GOODNESS, TAIIICHIIIIIIII!!!!

Now, the whole song is wonderful, don't get me wrong, however the part that makes me scream is that little speech he gives in the middle.

Just by changing the size of my dream My tiny world grew in size Just by lifting my chin a little My field of vision grew so many times wider Just by walking forward—I discovered a path I never knew of I don't know the future me, so There's no use fearing anything; that's why I'll continue to shout I'll continue to struggle, So that I can smile tomorrow.

Ok, I just want to talk a bit about this. This is so sweet, so sweet, and it gives us a little bit of perspective into just how important Mankai is to Taichi, as well as how much it meant to him for them to accept him, even after everything he’s done.

Taichi has spent his whole life trying to stand out, he hates being left out or forgotten, he just wants to be noticed. His reason to start acting wasn't necessarily because he wanted to act, it was a platform upon which he could be in the center of attention. He caught a glimpse of what the spotlight felt like, and was immediately hooked.

His dream started as a relatively vain and selfish one, it was directed only to himself for his own gain. He wanted others to think about him, to notice him, he hated blending in and he just desperately needed to be seen. There’s nothing wrong with that, ill admit it’s a self-centered way to think, but there isn’t a single person out there who doesn’t have dreams that are selfish like that. (unless your like a saint or something)

Somewhere along the way though, I think Taichi began to truly enjoy acting itself. I can’t imagine that Taichi could have survived long even in the God Troupe’s ensemble cast, if he didn’t have at least some passion for it. Taichi clearly is clearly intimidated by Beni, and to spend so much time under his direction (working as essentially a disposable side actor who could be replaced at any time), must have been absolutely brutal.

This is the same guy that made Tsumugi the theatre junkie quit acting entirely for years, after just one audition.

We don’t know exactly how long he’d been a part of God Troupe, but it was long enough that Beni found him to be suitable to be a pawn in his plot, enough so that he could see just the right button to push to make Taichi do exactly what he wanted. That leads me to believe that it had been at least a few months??? The point is, Taichi wouldn't have been able to hold up under Beni’s brutal standards and expectations (I imagine that Beni’d want even the ensemble cast’s performances to be perfect) if he were in it for hollow reasons.

If he only wanted to get popular, for the sake of being popular, then I don’t think he’d have been able to get that far.

I think that the whole ‘I want to be popular’ thing is a very basic and shallow way of describing what Taichi really wants. I don’t think that Taichi himself even realizes this.

Taichi, like most average people, idealizes and glorifies fame. Taichi equates the idea of having people adore you, to the idea of having friends. When this just isn't true, in fact, I would imagine it's much harder for celebrities to find true friendships (much like Tenma). The reasons Taichi wants to be popular is much less about wanting adoration, and more about wanting to be notices, he wanted someone to care.

The specific example Taichi gives to explain why he wanted to be popular, was that he one time he got sick for a while, and when came back to school nobody had even noticed that he’d been gone. This feeling that Taichi is having is plain old loneliness, not some idol-complex. He decides that being popular is the solution so that becomes his dream, but that was never really his dream in the first place, not really.

His real dream was to be surrounded by people who genuinely cared about him.

His real dream was to be surrounded by friends, real friends.

Just by changing the size of my dream

My tiny world grew in size

Before Taichi comes to Mankai, his dream is focused entirely on himself, he is lonely, he wants friends. The solution; get popular and become an actor.

It’s entirely about him. The only person in this dream that he could identify is himself, and his adoring fans are nameless and faceless, because they don't matter at this point, in this dream Taichi matters.

When he joins Mankai Company, and the Autumn Troupe, he is immediately steeped into this loving and warm community. He rehearses with them, he sleeps with them, he eats with them, they even bathe together once.

And his dream starts to change...

Taichi, hadn't even really realized that his dream was already coming true, he’s still convinced that his dream is to be popular, and he’s believed that so long that he really has convinced himself that it really is his dream.

However, that dream that Taichi has, it really has changed. In his mind, he isn't standing on that stage alone being adored anymore, he's standing next to the others in Mankai and the Autumn Troupe. He doesn’t just want to act anymore, he wants to act alongside his friends, he wants to help them succeed, and he wants to be a part of this Company.

Mankai Company has essentially become a part of Taichi’s dream.

Just by lifting my chin a little My field of vision grew so many times wider Just by walking forward—I discovered a path I never knew of

Taichi has stopped looking inwards to himself, and looking outside at the others around him. ‘His field of vision’ has grown, and he can finally see beyond himself, because someone outside of his family has finally taken the time to let him into their lives.

The entire way Taichi sees himself and those around him, changes drastically because of this, he’s experiencing true camaraderie and friendship for the first time and it changes everything.

He doesn't want to go through with the plan to sabotage the Autumn Troupe play, he feels trapped, as if there was no good way out of the shit situation he’s found himself in, and this next part is important.

Eventually, it gets to the point, that he’d rather quit acting than keep betraying the others.

In game he literally says;

Omi, I... I think I’m gonna have to quit acting. There’s no way I can keep going like this, is there?

He, in this moment, is choosing the happiness of the friends he’s made, and the success of the troupe he joined over his own dream. Even believing that there was no way they would let him stay in the troupe after this, or ever forgive him. Even knowing, that Beni could and would blacklist his name from the entire acting industry if he went through with this. He still decides that he won’t hurt his friends any more than he already has.

He joins confesses, gives his portrait, and joins Mankai for real.

Just by lifting my chin a little My field of vision grew so many times wider Just by walking forward—I discovered a path I never knew of

He can now hold his head high, proudly, as a member of Mankai, and stand along side them, and perform on stage with them.

I don't know the future me, so There's no use fearing anything; that's why I'll continue to shout I'll continue to struggle, So that I can smile tomorrow.

He decides, that there's no use in being afraid of Beni, or of what he might do, because all he wants to do is to act, and to act with Mankai. He wants to stay friends with all of them, and whatever may come for him in the future, he knows he won't have to deal with it alone. He’s going to fight for his future at the company, even if that means standing up to Beni. He does this because he knows that this is the path he’ll be happiest going down.

You can read the JAP, ROM, and ENG lyrics here.

#i spent way too long on this #here you go #the Taichi character analysis nobody asked for #taichi nanao #a3 taichi #a3! taichi #a3! actor training game #act addict actors #a3! act! addict! actors!#act! addict! actors!#a3 act addict actors #a3!#a3 #a3 autumn troupe #a3! autumn troupe #character analysis

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bastardtetsu · 3 years

Text

{day 13} falling slowly | semi x reader

pairing: semi eita x gn!musician!reader

genre: angst, mutual pining or unrequited love depending on how you look at it

wc: 1.8k

warnings: a little swearing, reader who plays piano/sings, mention of a previous relationship, unresolved feelings, just a lot of pain

⍋⋆*❅｡. 25 days of fic-mas mlist .｡❅*⋆⍋

falling slowly eyes that know me and i can’t go back

—falling slowly; once (music & lyrics by glen hansard & marketa irglova, book by enda walsh)

“that song you just played— did you write that?”

you stood there, wide-eyed, staring him down as he turned to walk away from the spot where he had just been busking on the sidewalk. semi wanted to ignore you, but your resolute gaze already had a vice grip on him.

“yeah,” he grunted reluctantly.

“it’s very good.”

“thanks.”

despite his gruffness, you were still staring at him like your life depended on it. it was kinda unnerving.

“why’d you leave your guitar?” you questioned him with a sense of urgency, gesturing to the guitar semi had left in its case on the sidewalk. his expression hardened.

“i don’t want it anymore,” he muttered, casting his eyes downward.

“you should take it. those things are expensive, you know.”

“fine,” he grumbled, shooting you a glare as he stooped to grab the case by the handle, “i’ll sell it if it makes you feel better.”

“i know a shop!” you blurted out, “a music shop. where you can sell your guitar. i was just on my way there, actually!”

“…seriously?”

“it must be fate!”

those words made him cringe back then.

as the two of you entered the store, a cozy place packed with various instruments, you wasted no time making a beeline for the back of the store, dragging a confused semi along with you.

“where are we going? i thought we were here to sell my guitar,” he questioned.

“just follow me,” you insist. the determination in your voice told him there was no point in resisting.

you continued leading him through the shop, all the way to an old upright piano that sat towards the back. “the owner lets me play this whenever i come in,” you explained, your merciless gaze now fixed on the instrument, “it’s a beautiful piano. if i ever win the lottery, this is the first thing i’m buying.”

semi just watched you quietly as you stood there, marveling at it. he was able to appreciate the intensity of your stare more now that he wasn’t the subject of it - the way your eyes glimmered was actually kind of entrancing.

“so what would you like to hear?” you questioned, suddenly turning your gaze back on him as you sat yourself on the bench, “bach? mozart? something of my own?”

“oh, uh— whatever you want,” he muttered. there was clearly no use stopping you at this point, so he might as well comply.

you positioned yourself and began playing. it was a somber melody, gentle but distinctly melancholic. your concentration remained unbroken as your fingers danced gracefully across the keys, until the final mournful note echoed through the empty store.

“did you write that?” semi asked, a bit awestruck by your talent.

“no. felix mendelssohn did.”

“ah.”

“now you play me one,” you demand, eyes aglow.

“wh—no,” semi faltered.

“please,” you begged.

“no,” he stated firmly, his expression hardening again, “i just came here to get rid of my guitar.”

“what do you mean?” you protested, “your music is good, why are you giving up on it?” semi cringed at the sting of your question.

“there’s no point anymore,” he snapped, “it’s gotten me nowhere.”

“what, so you’re quitting ‘cause you’re not famous?”

“i’m not—“ he scoffed defensively, “you wanna play your songs for people who want to listen.”

“well i’m people,” you stated, your gaze on him more unyielding than ever, “and i want to listen. now play me a song.”

the rigidity of your stare was almost enough to convince him.

“no.”

however, just as semi turned to leave, as if by some sort of drama-induced miracle, a sheet of folded paper fell from his coat pocket, which you wasted no time snatching up before he could even grab at it.

“hey—“ he protested, “give it back, come on.”

“music is dead to you, right?” you taunted, “so isn’t this trash?”

“you know what,” he huffed, his patience at its limit, “fuck it—yeah, keep it. it was nice meeting you.”

“hey!” you barked right as he was turning to leave. his head spun around to find your eyes staring him down with the most intensity and desperation he’d seen from you all day. “you won’t die if you play this song with me,” you spoke to him sincerely, “please.”

he didn’t answer, but remained frozen where he stood, unwilling to break from your acute gaze as you lowered yourself onto the bench and placed your fingers on the keys.

you perused the slightly crumpled page while semi waited with nervous anticipation, reminding himself to breathe as you began to play the notes he had scrawled onto the staff.

as your fingers began to recreate the familiar motif with impressive precision, he gingerly picked up his guitar from its case by the piano, looping the strap over his head as he started to sing,

“i don’t know you but i want you all the more for that”

he sang tentatively at first, the words and notes like scratches upon an unhealed scab, until your voiced chimed in with a harmony,

“and words fall through me and always fool me and i can’t react”

semi began to strum at his guitar, more self-assured as the gentle tune continued, your voices and instruments moulding together as the music swelled into chorus after chorus. his reluctant voice became more and more powerful with each changing chord, each strum of his guitar more intentional as the sounds intermingled with yours, creating new discoveries within a painfully familiar refrain.

as the tempo slowed to a quiet halt, your eyes met with his again until you played the final chord in unison. you both stood there in silence for a moment, as if you were waiting for the final sound waves to finish reverberating, dissolving into the air.

“so where is she?” your question broke the silence.

“where’s who?”

“the girl in the song,” you clarified, “is she dead??”

“what—no, jesus,” semi sputtered, caught off guard for what must be the 75th time today.

“so where is she?” your gaze is on him again, adamant as ever.

“she left,” he uttered, his dejection covered by his brusque tone, “about six months ago. there was nothing else for her here, so—”

“so you still love her?”

semi’s face twitched, feeling his chest tighten at the question.

“no. we’re finished,” he stated shortly.

“no one who writes a song like that is finished,” you enunciated firmly, causing his breath to catch. “if you sing this to her, i bet she’ll take you back.”

“huh?” the ash blond’s face twisted into a confused scowl.

“i’m serious.” the gleam in your eye only affirmed your statement.

“no way,” he replied, “i’m not running after some woman who’s doing fine without me just so i can sing her some stupid—“

“it’s not stupid!” you nearly yelled at him before softening a bit, maintaining your resolute stare. “your songs are good,” you stated emphatically. semi felt his breath catch again, this time accompanied by a rush of warmth to his face. “do you have more??”

your heart nearly stops when you see it, breath catching in your throat as the sting of tears begins to prick your eyes.

the old upright piano you had spotted one day in a music store now sits in your living room, a large, bright red ribbon adorning its shiny wooden surface. there is no note, but you need no indication to know who it’s from.

he must be long gone now. he got a call from his ex practically begging him to come back, so of course he went. it doesn’t matter how many longing glances you caught as you helped him rehearse, or how much electricity you felt surge through your body every time you so much as brushed his hand while reaching for some sheet music.

he has unfinished business. you’ve both always known that, it’s why you tried so hard to keep your distance, even as you helped him produce a studio album, relentlessly encouraging him not only to keep pursuing music, but to keep pursuing her. it’s what he deserves. it’s not your place.

it doesn’t matter how much your heart wanted to leap out of your chest when his stern grey eyes stared into yours, uncharacteristically earnest, as he squeezed your hands in his and thanked you for changing his life. he was talking about the music. you’ve only ever talked about the music.

it doesn’t matter that no matter how hard you tried to maintain your distance - god, you really tried - his songs always pulled you back in. those songs aren’t about you. he wrote those for someone else, someone who he is destined to go back to.

it doesn’t matter that every time he played one he felt a shift, like discovering a new harmony, each lyric twisting into a different meaning. that somewhere along the way, he started singing them about you — you can’t think about that. it can’t be about that.

it doesn’t even matter that he said you were a part of his new life, starry-eyed and nearly breathless, imploring you with to run away with him and start a band together, make an album, just the two of you and all your beautiful music. it was just a silly fantasy. one can only entertain such a delusion for so long before you have to move on with your real life again.

as you lower yourself onto the piano bench, you imagine yourself back in the shop on that day, the ash-blonde musician you had just met scowling dubiously as you began to play the opening of one of his songs. you can almost hear the delicate strains of his guitar as he plucked the accompaniment on the strings, his voice growing stronger as he sang.

“and games that never amount to more than they’re meant will play themselves out”

you recall sitting with him at the top of a hill just outside of town one night, looking down at the warm lights of the city twinkling in the distant. he told you about the first time he ever felt scared. you told him you only saw him as a friend. could he tell you were lying?

“take this sinking boat and point it home we’ve still got time“

tears begin to well in your eyes, blurring your vision as you play. but you don’t even need to see the keys, because you know this song too well. it’s engraved in your muscle memory. no matter how hard you try, your body will remember.

“raise your hopeful voice you have a choice you’ve made it now”

“call your girl tonight,” you reminded him as you left the recording studio for the last time. he asked you to come over to his place later, but you’re not going. you know better than that.

“falling slowly sing your melody i’ll sing it loud”

the tears are falling freely now, wetting your hands and the keys, but you continue playing as if semi were right there singing along with you, creating sweet harmonies and stirring chords together, losing yourselves in the music.

you allow the song to engulf you, the melody washing over you like a wave of pure feeling as you bid goodbye to the man you fell unwillingly, irreparably in love with.

a/n: i’m not normally an angst person, or a huge semi simp really, but i still ended up hurting my own feelings with this lmao. i’d probably let semi ruin my life as much as he wants too, let’s be real. the songs linked at the top are definitely required listening for this one (the first link is them together in the music shop, the second one is the reprise at the end) and if you really wanna experience pain, find a bootleg of the show & watch the whole thing bc i truly struggled trying not to shove the entire musical into this one fic (once again if u need help finding it i may or may not have a link if u dm me)

taglist: @izagraceee @musicgetsmeoutofbed @azo-musxas @tsumurai @ghostlydiamond135 @animeboysimppp @starshaped-raindrops

#haikyuu!!#semi eita #semi eita x reader #semi x reader #haikyuu x reader #25 days of ficmas #.txt #e writes

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