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bluest-planet · 11 months

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Miguel O'Hara Analysis from a First Gen Latine Perspective; Crab in a Bucket.

Alright, I'm gonna start this by saying this: I am definitely not the most articulated person when it comes to explaining my thoughts. Most of this is just putting my heart on the page by relating what I saw in Miguel's behavior and just one outlook out of many layered analyses.

Anyways, here's my analysis of Miguel O'Hara and how his internalized racism and generational trauma/jealousy stands out to me, especially as a first gen mixed Latine.

Let's lay some groundwork for my perspective first! Hey, you can call me Moonie or Blue. I use it/they pronouns, proud to be queer! I'm a highschool dropout, and both of my parents were immigrants from rural and abusive families. Mexican and Salvadoran/Salvi to be clear. Have lived in poverty my entire life, and been whitewashed and forced to assimilate to keep up appearances for a good chunk of life.

I've heard bits and pieces about Miguel's comic origin, but haven't read them myself so apologies if I get some things wrong. I have seen Spiderverse 5 times so I feel like that's good enough. Anyways here's a story anecdote;

I went to Mexico not that long ago, to learn a trade from some family. Real blue collar, labor intensive, factory work. I was there for a while, and really got to marinate in what it's like to live in a country where you're not the minority anymore. I'm not targeted, I wasn't (entirely) racialized anymore. I was able to explore my family's culture more. Not that I've ever been entirely separated from it. But growing up in a white school where knowing Spanish forces you to go to English classes even though I had proved myself multiple times does something to you.

You assimilate, you're taken away from your culture. Anyone like you. It's lonely. And when you do find someone else like you, even if it's not the same country, but just latine, it's usually a fun experience to share our lives. Like a little secret between us no one else has. But as you grow and see more people, you realize how separate you are from the rest. I can't exactly relate to the latine-american experience (tm) like others do. I don't call myself Mexican or Salvi American, I don't like to. I didn't grow up that way. Ive always preferred to use the first generation. Or child of immigrants.

Miguel O'Hara is a mixed Mexican/Irish man. And from what I've seen; not all that attached to his Mexican identity either. It's made more prevalent in the movie however. He doesn't have a strong accent, he has the high cheekbones and eyes I'd recognize on a cousin. But the strong jawline and sunken face of a mixed man who's certainly not taking care of himself.

He reminds me of my cousins. Or my uncles.

He displayed a familiar rage to my own; lashing out and stressed. But it's got some sinister machismo underlaid in it. When he yells at Miles, all I see is my dad yelling at me, or myself yelling at my dad. Bc anger is the only way we knew how to communicate and express ourselves living under so much scrutiny all the damn time.

Bc yes; the spiderverse is amazingly diverse, and anyone can be the mask. But Miguel obviously doesn't really see it that way. There are exceptions. It's always come off to me how most of the maskless spiders we see have black and brown faces. And while I'm sure it's not all white. The amount of Peter Parkers. I'm sure they are the large majority. Or at least it feels like that.

Maybe he sees the spiders that aren't peters as straddling a thin line. A tenuous canonicity in a sea of Parkers. They don't break canon, but they're outliers. It just reminds me of the few black kids or brown kids I'd see in my white school. Maybe one or two in my own classes. And none of us reached out to each other often. We were left alone.

And left to be scrutinized by our white peers and teachers and school staff.

They might not say anything; but you feel that weight. That gaze on you at all times. I was lucky for being light skinned and ambiguous in my appearance. Some confused me for the few East Asian kids even. A more 'model' minority and free from more gazes able to 'pass'. Miguel is darker, but he's conventionally attractive, tall with straight hair and a sharp jawline instead of short, chubby cheeks, round face and curly hair.

I get praised for being light skinned and largely unblemished, for being skinnier than my siblings and having a more traditionally feminine fashion and hobbies. But my anger, temper, and lack of 'respect' downgrades me. My lack of education? More so.

My uncles would say;

"Well! Since you won't finish school, you might as well get a job wherever you can and support your family!"

"Yes, I'm trying my best, but I don't want to work for pennies and bad hours. A lot of places don't want to compensate me."

"How ungrateful! When we were your age, back in our day none of us were blessed to be in your position! You live in America, where you ungratefully gave up such great education and life! We were lucky to even go to elementary school! Your grandfather had us working in the fields, or fishing instead. And when we could work? We took what we could! It didn't matter if the company treated us right, paid us good, or gave us good hours, we did what we had to for the family! Your generation knows nothing of hard work!"

"But how can you have pride in that? How can you not understand how exploitative that was? Letting them work you like mules and destroy your bodies? Why did you not fight? Why would you want to suffer like that?"

"We know we were not treated right. But we have the guts to do work no one else wants to do! We're men! It's our duty to take pride in providing for the family. We break our bodies for our children and love– your parents did not do the same for you to copy our hardships. But if you won't take that opportunity given to you– then you'll face the consequences and learn your place. The companies will never treat us better; you should've been better sso you wouldn't have to face the same as us."

"So you agree? They won't change and they'll keep exploiting you or anyone else who doesn't exceed great expectations? That these companies are taking advantage of people as desperate as you to get away with it and shrugging off any attempts to unionize and make things better? They're enslaving our people. And you're just going to go along with it? Because that suffering makes you feel prideful, meaningful? Do you really just accept this shitty undeserving position in your life? All because you feel like you deserve it for the outcome of your life you had no control over?"

That is to say. My relatives could not understand why I do not fit their perception of America. Even in Mexico, where although they are poor and the majority; they idolize the US. They boast about working illegally in the US under exploitive companies to bring the mighty American dollar home. They scoff at the notion of unions, government aid and compensation bc they think those that live in the US and work in blue collar jobs are undeserving of the scraps we get for being undereducated or face institutional racism at every corner. Even in their position it reeks of classism. For them the US is a temporary shitty job to work in order to make themselves richer bc the dollar is worth more than the peso. They can't empathize with their struggling relatives across the border bc hey! The US, is amazing. Nevermind it's the exact reason why their own country and many others face the hardships that they do.

They don't realize the internalized racism in their pride. Feeling as if their lack of education and standing makes them only deserving of the worst jobs. That it's the only thing they can do right and are worth for. That anyone who doesn't succeed even after getting a better chance only deserves the same pain in order to uplift someone else's worth and has a chance. You become a lost cause; your only worth is a cog in the system and uphold the status quo. Never to question it, never to try to reach above your station after you missed your chance.

Like crabs in a bucket, they want to drag you down with them. Out of jealousy and misdirected anger. And for not meeting expectations. And for your own good, to learn your place.

Older relatives, and even immigrant parents often become extremely jealous of their children. For getting better lives they tried so hard to secure for them and for having the things they never had; or for not going through their own hardships. So they try to live vicariously through their children. Giving them great expectations to live up to bc they don't know how to compartmentalize all the racist trauma it took for them to get there and the real faceless enemy that put them through it. But their children have faces, their children are theirs– not people but property says America, and Catholic/Christian culture.

Immigrant parents love to pull the card of how indebted their children are to them, guilt trip them with their own pasts and current struggles. God forbid if you try to fight back and question the one authority and control they have over you.

Not all parents of course; But Miguel reflects this too me.

He may be more coded as being whitewashed and excluded from his culture. But he tries to fit in a curated collection he doesn't fit with. He puts up appearances as a strict, competent leader, but since he has an unremovable aspect to him that separates him from the rest- he wasn't bitten, he was mutated with a spider- which everyone makes clear to you.

Everyone makes it clear that you're not white, even when white culture is all you know having been so sanitized, defanged and removed from your own. That you wont ever fit in and must grovel for the rest of your life to make up for it. Even if it's all you've ever known.

Miguel is a spider, but he wasn't bitten so he's not a 'true' spider he tells himself. He's othered as well with what I interpret as unintentional microaggressions.

"He's like a ninja vampire but a good guy."

"you're just gonna have to shut up and trust me, I'm a good guy!" "You don't look like a good guy."

"You're like the only spiderman who isn't funny!"

"Dude are you sure you're even spiderman?"

"You're like a feisty Latina!"

"Wait, you were born here?"

"You don't look Latina!"

"Are you sure you're even Mexican if you can't speak it?"

He uses English more often, and Spanish as a quick add in. English is obviously preferred due to the fact his accent isn't all that strong and uses short repeated words or phrases.

He's violent when he first meets Miles. Throwing a trash can at him, rejecting his food, and admonishing him for something that wasn't necessarily his fault. But he does 'cool down'.

Him throwing the can reminds me of machismo, and how violent Latino men can get. It's a bad stereotype but for the movie- this struck me more as a critique of it. Enforcing some weird dominance and need to be aggressive to follow that weird expectation and allowances but also– it feels in line with who he is.

I have had more than a few rough patches being physically violent to express my anger when I couldn't win something or felt too small and had to lash out to make myself feel heard. Hitting someone, slamming doors, breaking things, yelling, and destroying things. I moved past that stage as I grew older and wasn't a child anymore. But hell. I've don't things I'm not proud of yet can't help because all my life you're told to be the model brown person. To never express rage and seem like the monster everyone is waiting for you to show. To it lies festering until you can use it behind closed doors. Latina girls aren't allowed to be visibly angry like that- and while it's expected from Latino boys, and feared when Latino men express it. Most of the time, we're not allowed to spread anger at all. Otherwise it does make us unreasonable, angry monsters.

You're not allowed to be angry or frustrated. Which only makes it worse.

I'm not excusing his actions. But his rage reminds me of my father or a relative, or even my own lashing out on a younger family member because it's so normalized to do it only to family and the young- the only excusable people to express it at without repercussions.

But then he cools down, he gets quieter, when Peter B walks in. And reminds himself of his audience and a fellow adult.

He then tried to be more rational and explains to Miles what he believes he did wrong. Tries to even relate his own trauma to convince and prep him to not put up a fight when he inevitably tells him the truth of what's to come.

"you can't ask me to just let my dad die!"

"I'm not asking."

It's a familiar emotion. When an adult, a father, a mother, an aunt, an uncle, or even a sibling tells you that something is going to happen whether you like it or not. Enforcing that will onto you for 'your own good.' Or because it's what 'has to happen."

Miguel is jealous of Miles. He got bit, he's more traditional in origin than Miguel, but he won't follow the expectations and 'bright future' he's been set up for. For 'wasting' his chance. A chance Miguel would die for. One similar to his own. As an anomaly that replaced/continued the mantle of spiderman after their original perished.

Because why would Miguel only mess with Miles now, instead of when he had a chance? If he had all this time and knew about him, why wouldn't he just cut the problem from the root earlier? Why would he let Miles live and work so hard just to restrain him for the canon even of his dad dying to pass? Why would he let Miles be this 'Original' Anomaly and run free?

Bc he knows on some level, he's spiderman too. More than he is. Miles still fulfills his position as spiderman in his verse. There's no need for Miguel to kill him or do anything other than make sure the canon still happens in that verse and then never let him escape his own world again. Nor does he likely really want to hurt/kill Miles. Honestly, it seems if Miguel had it his way from the start; Miles would have been left completely alone and isolated from ever knowing about the Spider Society at large and let him be Spiderman of his world. If he didn't know about the society he wouldn't know about the canon even and try to circumvent it and everything would have been smooth.

Bc what happens if Miguel won and kept Miles at HQ? His dad died and he's sent back to being Spiderman forever excluded from HQ? He never tries to get rid of him. And it's obvious; he never did anything to help the 42! Miles' universe beforehand either. Content to just let it be before Miles gets there. It doesn't seem like he has any plans to actually do anything about a verse missing a spiderman so long as it's not destabilizing.

He's mad that now there has to be a spiderman that took the place of one that didn't need to die; but that world still needed a spiderman Miles fulfilled. Now there's one without a spiderman too, but he can't take the spiderman from one world to the other– not when, although it's in shambles, it is still intact. He doesn't need to intervene. He just need to uphold the status quo and never question it.

He's jealous that Miles got to be a more traditional spiderman, but none of the hardship because he feels like Miles didn't do anything to deserve becoming spiderman in the first place. But if he's going to be one, then he better fit his exact mold to make it up to him. To prove he has worth in the cog. Accept the shitty hand he's been dealt and take pride in the awful like he has bc that's the only way to make him feel like he has any worth too anymore.

Miguel tried to rise above his station, he aimed for that better life. And what did it get him? Nothing. Everything was taken away from him. It was just proof by the universe telling him he did not deserve a better life than the shitty one he was dealt. He's just like my uncles, traumatized from working hard for pennies, and thinks he's deserving of it, because he wasn't educated/a traditional spiderman. And that anyone else who doesn't take the better opportunities needs to be taken down with him in shared suffering.

He sees Miles: another mixed kid, optimistic and worthy, confusingly rejecting every opportunity in the face of a little short term pain. Giving it all up bc of one small hiccup. He thinks Miles is ungrateful and greedy, wanting it all; after all he's seen what happens when you try to have it all.

In a twisted way. He thinks having his father die is the lesser evil, the smaller pain. A singular familial death is a small piece to pay for an entire stable universe and the glory spiderman brings. That by showing this reasoning to Miles, not giving him a choice and just enforcing it like he knows better than an ignorant child will save him the pain and effort. He's teaching Miles his internalized racism and trauma. Passing it down to him like it's a survival lesson. Telling him to swallow it like a bitter pill that will make him feel better. He treats Miles like getting bit was a moral failure and that he has to make up for it.

But like me to my Uncles. And Miles to Miguel, he tells him it isn't right. That thinking is wrong. This system isn't my fault. It's a bad system that needs to change so this never happens again. You don't have to suffer to succeed and survive. You don't have to accept scraps when you can reach for the full meal. You have to try for something better, no matter how hard, and fight to make things better.

Don't let sleeping dogs lie. Miguel can wallow for all Miles cares, but he isn't going to let himself lose that same fire for doing what's right and aiming for a life that he wants for himself and his friends that they actually deserve.

Elders let the status quo remain, they often feel like nothing will change, but we can't accept that otherwise nothing will actually get better, never going out of that system that beat them down. Constantly expecting the younger generation to bend to their will and experiences. Miles and Hobie make it a point to show that no, they can put up a fight and they should and shame everyone else for just accepting that false narrative blindly.

There's so much more I could get into but this is long. Like how he contradicts himself to better suit his argument and what not. I have so much to say but this was all what I've been rotating since watching the movie a ton of times. None of this even low-key touched on my issues on how he's viewed and portrayed by fans but- I hope this outlook kinda helps to humanize him? Like. Of course I know he's being unreasonable and violent/aggressive towards a kid. But at the same time, I feel like most people just see him as this angry violent person who is just on some self righteous power trip asshole instead of a complex character and TO ME- a reflection on latine elders and yet also what it's like to grow up whitewashed/undervalued and trying to bestow that trauma to a younger Latino boy as a bad way of teaching a life lesson, to assimilate him. It comes from a bad place of… not love, but just. Wanting to prepare someone for hardship and yet not questioning why he have to deal with that hardship in the first place.

Anyways good night! It's 3:30 am dear God excuse any mistakes I needed this out of my system.

#atsv #atsv analysis #spiderverse analysis #miguel o'hara #miles morales #atsv miguel #blue speaks #blue's analysis #do not clown on my post so help me god i will turn off rb and replies of someone acts stupid #anyways personal hc but Miguel is also aroace and theres nothing u can do about it taking him to the movies cousin time #he was not my initial fave or anything but theres so many uh. bsd takes or just. idk i felt like i had to say my piece on this man from my #own personal experiences #long post #that vibe u get when the family considers you a failureeeee and shares their unwarented advice/opinions #and think they know whats best for youuuuu

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xaeyrnofnbe · 1 year

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ok so back when i was FIRST reading wof, i remember peeking into some online spaces surrounding the series and finding a whole lot of people making up their own dragon tribes. i’ve been reading the series again and have gotten much further this time, and am now going to describe to you my very self-indulgent fantribes. do they make sense? not necessarily. i’m having fun making them up though. (also i have not finished the whole series yet so if something i’ve written contradicts canon… just ignore that)

basically the first main bit of information is that these tribes are decended from an early ancestor of the seawings. at some point when those guys started breathing water, a good chunk of them split off from pyrrhia, managed to miss pantala completely, and ended up settling around an archipelago and spreading out into distinct new tribes. some in the water, some not. i will be listing them from highest to lowest geographically. or something like that idk.

StrikeWings

actually very similar to skywings in terms of appearance, though mostly in shades of dark blue and purple, with brighter blue, purple, or green vein-like patterns on the scales

they also host a whole lot of spikes and spines

if you’ve ever seen the show dragons: race to the edge, imagine a skrill. yeah that’s what these guys do. they fly around in thunderstorms and electrically charge their spines. or maybe they produce electricity like an electric eel. idk i haven’t decided yet but. they have lightning abilities is what i’m saying

StrikeWings live and build their towns and cities on the rocky beaches and cliffs of the islands of the archipelago (i am yet to name the archipelago), and cannot breathe water but do spend a lot of time fishing.

they’re tough, a little self-absorbed as a whole, and love sticking their noses in other dragons business.

CoralWings

very brightly colored. whatever color you can imagine on a coral reef, a CoralWing probably has at least a few of them on her scales

they have several curving, rounded horns, like stalks of coral

all around they kinda just look like they stuck coral all over themselves. which they sometimes actually do, but they do also just look like that.

CoralWings have no natural abilities or defenses outside of their water breathing (and their amphibiousness), due to their lack of predators

why no predators? because they live in the reefs and shallows surrounding the islands. nothing scary ever goes that close to the islands outside of sharks and the occasional orca, but what are they gonna do against a DRAGON?

easily the most sociable tribe, being close allies with both the StrikeWings and KelpWings. they also live somewhat in between the two other tribes.

they’re also closely related to the KelpWings

and they have a pretty cozy symbiotic relationship with the StrikeWings. the CoralWings offer pretty shiny things, and are often implored to do a lot of aesthetic-based work. and the StrikeWings protect them.

KelpWings

they look a lot like CoralWings, but with duller colors, coming in muted shades of green, brown, and yellow, with the occasional brighter yellow spots. they also have a lot of stringy, extended soft bits all over their bodies that trail behind them as they swim and look like kelp

bioluminescent, slippery, and can only survive outside of water for a very short period of time

the largest tribe in the archipelago, inhabiting the huge kelp forests surrounding the islands and coral reefs. they also have the most political troubles, with a specific leader for each forest. they also spend a good amount of time in open, empty waters

they have a very broad diet, eating all sorts of things. urchins, mussels, crabs, fish, an otter or shark here and there, you name it. they’re not picky eaters.

but they’re very protective of their kelp forests and always do their best to keep them in tiptop shape

TrenchWings

these ones are my favorite

huge, bulky dragons with thick, armorlike scales. they come in mostly dull dark blueish greys and browns, with the odd exception of a muted pink or orange

based off of dunkleosteus. like HEAVILY based off of them.

bioluminescent, and are incredibly sensitive to movement in surrounding waters. they also have an efficient sense of smell and have such think scales almost nothing can hurt them. oh and they cannot breathe above water and they cannot fly

TrenchWings live in underwater trenches, canyons, and caves. being so very deep below the surface, they have minimal contact with the upper tribes. there are occasional interactions, but little to no trading or friendly conversation

BrineWings

look very similar to KelpWings, but with touches of deep-sea-fish creepiness. and are almost always just shades of grey

same abilities as the TrenchWings, just without the heavy natural armor

small and skinny

they live in the same caves as the TrenchWings, but far deeper than those dragons would ever dare to go, building their settlements in huge caverns rich with life and bioluminescence

they love books and scrolls and writing. they have seemingly endless libraries, and are very scholarly. they’re big fans of information and documenting said information

but unfortunately for them, they have no contact with any tribe outside of the TrenchWings. but even to them, the BrineWings are more of a legend, or a story to scare young dragonets to keep them from venturing deeper into the caves

Leviathans (i’ll come up with a better name at some point. maybe. potentially.)

colossally sized dragons, no tribe knows much about them, cause most who come in contact with them don’t live to tell the tale

these guys are why the TrenchWings are so heavily armored. they’re the TrenchWing’s natural predator

considered monstrous and unintelligent, driven only by hunger and a thirst for destruction

i made them though, and i know better than that. they’re not as intelligent as the other tribes, they’re like the chimpanzee to the other dragon’s human. actually pretty chill, they’re just big and scary.

#wof #wings of fire #wof oc #wof fantribe #things i said

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zephycluster · 3 years

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Precolonial HWS SEA Rant Post, feel free to ignore

If you're still reading, then you're probably looking for evidence or some juicy tidbits to throw back at me or to try and find dirt to cancel me, like typical Tumblr/Twitter. Go ahead, I don't really care.

First off, let me just say that If you like Precolonial South-East Asia AUs, feel free to keep enjoying them. I will respectfully support your passions from afar. This post is just to explain why I don't like it, especially the way they keep insisting/portraying PH in it.

Still here? Then let me begin.

Since the recent confirmation that the ASEAN Six Majors (Can't really say ASEAN 10 atm since it's still missing some people) Were completed and the Ma-Phil-Indo Trio was included, there has been a large surge in 'Precolonial' fanarts and portrayals of South East Asians, those three especially.

Even long, long before, circa 2010's ish, a rather well-known fan universe known as 'Maaf' dealt with their story and how their Author thought their intertwined histories went. Written by (my best guesstimate) an Indonesian writer who wants to explore the old, SEA bond.

When I first stumbled across Maaf (I was in Highschool at the time, around age 16-ish), I took a casual interest in it and tried to read it through. But, I will wholeheartedly admit that at the time, Pre-Colonial cultures of South-East Asia in general, let alone Philippine, did not really interest me that much. The focus (I think) was mostly on Indonesia, a country I didn't really know back then, and the liberal use of 'ancient' names and artwork just made it feel like an entirely Original Work (that needed a degree in History to really appreciate) and not something from Hetalia. I also completely disagreed with what I could gather was the story's portrayal of PH but I'm getting ahead of myself.

Do I hate 'Maaf'? No, I don't hate it. Do I wish I never came across it or that it didn't exist? Of course not. Just because I didn't enjoy it or appreciate it that well doesn't mean I wish any ill toward it, its fans, or its creator.

Fast forward to April 2021, the long awaited inclusion of South East Asia to the canon Hetalia verse. I was happy, the other fans were happy, all was good.

Then started the questionable fanarts, fan theories and fan pairings.

Especially the expansion of Precolonial! PH.

Let's go back to Maaf for one moment. From what I understood of Maaf, PH there was a character who once was like all the other South East Asian cultures, trading with them, all around being a nice family.

But all that changed when the Spaniards attacked, so cry the precolonial buffs. They destroyed everything, ransacked and marginalized the tribes, erased everything that PH was!

Did that happen? ABSOLUTELY. The Spaniards had this vision in mind that they must spread Christianity to all of the 'savage, unchristian heathens' of their realm. :V /s

But back up a second, back to PH's portrayal in Maaf. The way she (yeah, she) was portrayed there was that she was slowly losing her memories of being a 'true' South East Asian and grew more and more westernized in the process, like some sort of Culture-specific Alzheimer's or something.

Firstly, that is seriously depressing, and secondly, I just really don't see that happening.

Here's why.

Point 1: Even before Colonial Masters, Filipinos as a people cannot agree on anything.

I'll just begin this segment with a Philippine proverb that outlines what Filipinos call 'Crab Mentality' or 'Crab Bucket Mentality'.

"You don't need a lid for a container when you're keeping multiple crabs. If you keep at least two crabs together, they will just pull each other down instead of helping each other up."

I don't know how it goes with Indonesian or Malaysian history class, but what I know of my homeland, both pre- and post-colonial history, we were never really 'united' or 'together' in the sense that Indonesia and Malaysia were (from what I assume).

Let me pull up a somewhat related question on r/AskHistorians.

The reason I brought this up as it shows the reasons why, in my opinion, a single entity that is 'Precolonial Philippines-tan' is an impossibility.

The answers are long and would extend this already long post to stupid proportions, so I'll just quote relevant sentences. The link is here for those that wanna deep-dive into the answer.

"All this to say that there wasn't a name used for the entire Philippine islands before the Philippines that people now would agree to. An interesting comparison would be the Holy Roman Empire, which might also be characterized as disparate politico-geographic groups of relatively small size that had a history of relations between each other, but one thing they had that the Philippines did not was a common language, or at least a family of mostly mutually intelligible languages, so that the name Deutschland or Germany isn't terribly offensive to anyone. If you called the Philippines the 'Lupang-Tagalog' or even 'Lupang-Tao' the other ethnic groups would protest."

For those in need of translation, 'Lupang Tagalog' means 'Land of the Tagalogs' and 'Lupang Tao' means 'Land of People', specifically. The first one is already exclusive and offensive, as the Tagalog peoples are but one of many ethnicities here.

And for the 'Lupang Tagalog' suggestion specifically, it's even more offensive as they are the majority ethnicity (not by much, just around 28%) From this chart from Geography Now! It would basically be alienating everyone else in the 72% remainder that isn't 'Tagalog'.

And even 'Lupang Tao', the most generic name in a local language you can think of, would be met with contempt because the name itself is in the Tagalog language.

Just travelling between two individual island groups today would sometimes require a translator because the words can change very rapidly and very drastically. Here's a sample of some differences coming from a friend living in Visayas (in Red) vs. the words I know living in Luzon (In blue).

Ate vs. Manang = Older Sister

Ibon vs. Pispis = Bird

Tumawa vs. Kadlaw = To laugh

Takot vs. Hadlok = Fear

Kain vs. Kaon = To eat

Ngayon vs. Subong = Now, at this point in time

Iyak vs. Hibi/Gibi = to cry

Talampakan vs. Tiil = Foot (in Tagalog, the word retains its 'body part AND unit of measurement' meaning)

Tulog vs. Tuyo = to sleep (Tuyo in Tagalog is either a dried salted fish or 'to dry')

The kicker is that just like Tagalog is just one of many languages here, so too is the language my friend speaks. Ask an entirely new person, like someone from Mindanao, they'll probably have an entirely new set of words.

It's not just Luzon vs. Visayas vs. Mindanao, either. Here's a map listing some of the ethnic groups here.

Even the way they're written differs from location to location.

While we're on the subject of Island divisions, a casual skim across Twitter and Tumblr has shown that their Precolonial PH has been one of the following ancient civilizations: Tondo, Butuan, Sugbu, Namayan. There may have been others but that was what I have found.

Notice how even today, the posters of Precolonial PH can't seem to agree on what he's supposed to be? With Indonesia it's either Majapahit or Srivijaya and Malaysia it's usually Malacca iirc.

What is the big deal? Well, let's go back to the Ask Historians post. "Why didn't the Philippines ever change its name to remove the colonial mark that being named after a Spanish King has?" The answer: "If you suggested something dating to precolonial times, the other ethnic groups would protest."

Since we're on a roll with maps, let me bring this up.

As you can see, the precolonial PH posts have a reason to not be able to agree on one thing, as there is a LOT of options. Do you also see how THAT list is also split up?

It's split up into those aligned with China (Sinified), aligned with India (Indianized), aligned with the Middle East (Islamicized), and no alignment (Animist). Now, let's go back to the main suggestions for which Kingdom/Polity/Civilization/whatever Modern Philippines used to be.

If the Filipino peoples' couldn't agree on something as simple as WHAT TO CALL THE LAND THEY'RE LIVING ON, what more a living, breathing, walking, talking entity that is supposed to be a beacon of all of their 'unified' culture? ESPECIALLY if that entity used to be a currently existing Kingdom/Polity/Rajahnate/Sultanate/whatever.

Tondo? "Of course, always the damn Tagalogs. Tagalog this, Tagalog that. First the capital city, then the language,* THE REST OF US EXIST, YOU KNOW! What about us in Visayas? Mindanao?"

*The national language known as 'Filipino' is just standardized Tagalog*

Butuan? "Wait, you want Butuan to represent us? They're they only Indian-aligned city in the Islam-majority Mindanao! They're not even that many of them! I'm not gonna change my religion!"

Sugbu, the other name for the Rajahnate of Cebu on the map? Lemme bring back my Visayan friend again. According to her, she hails from the Hiligaynon part of Visayas.

"Sure :v and the other islands are what?

Chopped liver?

Not to mention the language and writing barrier helloooo"

And Namayan? Well. I'll let this pic speak for itself.

To summarize, no matter who you pick as Modern PH's previous identity, it will not end well nor be accepted by the other Kingdoms at the time.

"So where does that leave Modern PH, he had to have been ONE of them, right?"

Well, not really. He doesn't HAVE to be one of the Ancient Kingdoms that lasted till the modern day. I mean, predecessor representatives exist in Hetalia canon, after all. Like Modern Greece is a different character from Ancient Greece, Ancient Egypt and Modern Egypt, heck even England and his brothers have a canon mother that was the rep before them.

Or you could even use the same logic that Germany does, in that each specific region has/had its own representative and that Modern!PH is just the 'mediator' between them (cause gawd does PH need one). There could be a Tondo, a Namayan, a Butuan, and a Sugbu, all arguing and this Proto-PH is just trying to make headway in making them all satisfied.

But, even after all this, there is another reason why I personally don't subscribe to the 'Precolonial PH' idea, and by tangential extension, the Indo x Phil pairing.

Point 2: Even without intending to, Precolonial Indo x Phil just comes off as patronizing

This second point is just ENTIRELY personal preference and barely has any facts to back it up.

Again, if you like the pairing and disagree with me, You do you. I will respectfully support you and your passions from a distance.

But for me, Indo being Phil's seme/bae/boyfriend and consistently bringing up precolonial times just comes off as patronizing.

Just one more time, I'd like to point out that I am NOT bashing Indonesia, its people or the subscribers of Indo x Phil. This is just how the pairing feels to ME specifically.

The way I see it, Indo x Phil as a pairing, especially if it extends back into precolonial times, reads the same way as a long-since married couple where the husband/wife CONSTANTLY brings up that ONE outing you had together, or that ONE prom night where you kissed while dancing, even it happened like 30 some-odd years ago and so much more happened since then.

Even in a platonic sense, It reads like two besties where one ALWAYS mentions stuff like 'Yeah but you looked so much cooler back in High School' or 'Back in Grade School you would've known that', or 'Remember back in Pre-school we did X? How could you forget that?'

How does one respond to the notion that no matter what you do now, it will never compare to a past you've already forgotten or barely remember? That the best version of 'you' is already long gone?

"That's because the westerners made you forget your culture! You gotta take it back!"

While it is true, yes, as a collective we barely remember the Kingdom that commissioned the Laguna Copperplate, or created the Banaue Rice Terraces, or created the millennia old bonds that we still share with Indonesia and Malaysia.

But to keep pushing the precolonial identity would be to neglect and cast aside the one REAL binding belief and culture that spans the entirety of these islands we call the Philippines.

We take on all the bad stuff that happens to us, conquer it, and make it our own. Be it natural disasters, foreign powers, or negative stereotypical mentalities.

Yes, we've forgotten the ancient kingdoms of old and are just now digging through the closet for those remnants of the past. Yes, the colonizers imposed that on us, and made us forget. But in the process we've also taken everything that they left behind, everything that they threw at us, and created something that can only come from us.

The lanterns that the Spaniards used to light the way to the morning masses they made us attend became our globally known symbol of Christmas. The junked vehicles that the Americans left behind in World War 2 are now rolling works of art that announce themselves loud and proud on the streets (for better or for worse). The iced dessert recipe that the Japanese forced us to learn while they were occupying the country is now so distinct and famous it is synonymous with us, and is so delicious even Italy has taken notice.

Even after all this? Even after all the 425-ish years total we have been under a foreign power, with all the progress we've made as a country, a people, and a nation, you would still imply our fragmented, jigsaw puzzle state of being in the past was better just because it was pure 'South East Asian' like everyone else?

We might not be as well put-together as Indonesia or Malaysia, but we made this melting pot of angry, leg-pulling, dogpiling, Native, Mestizo, Chinoy, and Fil-Am crabs OURS, damnit!

It's now 4:30 AM and I have work in 5 or so hours. I'll be going to sleep now.

#hws #hws philippines #precolonial philippines #hws theory #hetalia #hetalia world stars #hetalia world series #hetalia headcanons #aph #axis powers hetalia #aph philippines #hetalia philippines #aph hetalia

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dwollsadventures · 3 years

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The second part of a request from TheLOAD from... a while back. The initial one was the Nix/Nokk/Knucker piece. This one took me a little longer for a few reasons. Mostly school reasons. And writer's block reasons, which is why this is taking the place of the monthly preview. And because, for research, I had to re-read the entirety of Drakon by Daniel Ogden for information. For those not used to my pedantry, this is not an "in-canon" family tree of the Greek dragons, such as you might see in those huge Greek mythology family tree pictures that are on the internet (I've got a few in my favorites from waaaaayyyy back as well). Rather, this is a way of showing how the concept of the dragon came about throughout time and how other beings are related through those branching lines. Of course this is presented as a lot more neat than it probably should be. If it were truly accurate it would have interconnected lines all over the place and obscure the little lizards. Before we talk about what's on the tree let's talk about what's not on it. Though Odgen talks about every (and I mean every) slightly Draconic being in Greek and Roman mythology, I've opted to include a trimmed down version. Because some, like Medusa and Lamia, I personally do not consider dragons proper, and others like the goddess Keto are relatively obscure and probably only exist to explain the existence of a related being (like the ketea). Creatures like Chimera and Typhoeus are included because, while not usually serpentine or draconic, they are in effect dragons; horrible, vaguely reptilian monsters slain by a hero. Not every individual dragon is depicted, only the ones I thought pertinent to include. (warning: LONG)

To start with, a drakon is a snake. The Greeks used the word to refer to both huge monsters and mundane snakes. Drakon itself is derived from the word dérkomai and is believed to literally mean, "the one who sees". The hypnotizing power attributed to snakes is present in drakons, traditionally given the job of the sleepless guardian of treasure. Going back even further, we see that the drakon comes from two disparate cultural perceptions of snake, each of which is still present in its classical form.

Snake Goddess - One of the native precursors of the Greeks were the Minoans. They had more in common with their Egyptian and Near Eastern neighbors than the Italians and Balkans. From what little we can gather of their culture, it appears the snake was a symbol of the goddess. Whether or not it was any goddess in particular is unknown. This theme survives into ancient Greece, however. Athena often uses snakes as agents when acting with mortals, Hera uses them as well (the twin serpents who attempted to strangle Heracles and the Hydra), and Medea had a chariot pulled by snakes. Earth goddesses in particular are heavily associated with them. Python was a direct product of Gaia, and the snake was a divine symbol of Demeter, who also had a rad snake chariot. Even in mortal women, their dynamic with snakes and dragons is nurturing. Several heroines sing to snakes as their masculine counterparts steal the treasure they guard, fulfilling a nurturing role in comparison to the destructive masculine one. Here the snake is a guardian, a creature of the earth and everything beneath it, including gold and the dead. These dragons are usually not slain, but pacified by the presence of a woman. In addition, the beard is an originally Greek symbol associated with snakes, particularly those connected to the gods. This was quite possibly a signifier of their supernatural status above mundane serpents. The goddess depicted above isn't any one in particular, though her dress does pull from a statue of Athena holding a curled python.

Drakaina - One way in which the snake goddess has survived is in the drakaina. This word is simply the feminine form of drakon, but also encompasses the numerous beings characterized by having the upper body of a woman and the lower body of a drakon. Numerous beings in Greek mythology fit this theme, but the one I've focused on is the Scythian drakaina, a woman who intercepts Heracles during one of his labors and kidnaps some cows. She offers to return the cattle in exchange for a night of intercourse. And then Herc is off and we're told the three sons of that union go on to become kings of great renown in Scythia. Some authors interpret this as a Greek adaptation of a Scythian myth, with one of the key pieces of evidence being that the drakaina's name is Hora, meaning "Seasons". Regardless of whether or not this is a goddess, it is a story where the snake-woman is neither killed nor stolen from, instead given the prestige of being the founder of a line of kings.

PIE Chaos Serpent - From the Proto-Indo-Europeans up North, we get the dragon we're all more familiar with. Serpents of this breed, such as Apep, Tiamat, and Jormungand, are all enormous, destructive creatures allied with darkness and the unforgiving seas. They represent the primordial chaos from what order sprang out of, and often have a hand in trying to return the world to that way. One of the primary themes associated with them is the dragon slayer: a god or hero who fights a dragon to save something, be it a land or treasure or an Ethiopian princess.

Typhoeus - This guy, though significantly more humanoid and giant-like than any others, is the clearest example of a PIE chaos serpent in Greece. It does not get more typical than a giant snake (like) monster fighting a storm god. Typhoeus probably sprung from traditions where he was more serpentine, but gradually added other aspects. Such as his own storm god qualities. In Greece, gods associated with the winds are always given wings, save for Zeus. The two's battle is reflective of a battle between the terrible whirlwinds and lightning strikes and the calmer, helpful rain showers that enable humanity to survive.

And then we get to the drakon proper. Taking elements from both sides of the tree, the archetypal Greek drakon is an enormous, often monstrous serpent associated with both the underground and the waters in some way. They are agents of gods, most often goddesses, sent to battle heroes or guard priceless treasures. Sometimes they're killed, sometimes they're merely lulled to sleep by a helpful maiden. Rather than breathing fire (which everything from mechanical bulls to horses to giants do), they possess venoms and rows of sharp teeth. Mention of their terrible gazes is often made. This drakon has both a beard and a casque-like crown, common elements in drakon descriptions from Greece. Its face is much less serpentine, being modeled after a clay illustration of the Colchian dragon. This gives is a suitably monstrous look, as if it were being pealed from layers of mud.

Chimera - Despite its odd appearance, the chimera fits the pattern of a dragon terrorizing a countryside and being slain by a plucky hero. The chimera may in fact be the originator of the classical Saint George imagery, where the saint is depicted as towering over a crawling, pitiful dragon. A 3rd century mosaic from Imperial Rome may have started this trend. What makes her (because despite her mane the Chimera is a female) stand apart from all the rest is the sheer strangeness of her form compared to others. Especially the little goat that comes out of her back, like a rider. Which I had to cut for spacing reasons :(

Hydra - Another classical Greek dragon is the multi-headed hydra, who has given its name to a whole genre of creatures with more heads than they ought to have. In addition to having the attributes of a typical Greek drakon, the Hydra has two traits seen in Mesopotamian monsters as well. The first is the amount of heads. Having many heads is not as common in Greece as it is in the Near East, where the idea of an eleven-headed sea serpent pops up numerous times across several different cultures. The second is that the hydra, in its earliest mentioning by Hesiod, is said to have been raised by Hera specifically to combat Heracles. This same tactic is done by a few Mesopotamian gods. In their realm of influence, monsters are pawns of the gods, who send them out to do their bidding on Earth while they lounge in Heaven. Our Hydra may have been a later influence from Greece's neighbors to the East. Also, had to add in the crab that Hera also sends in to help the hydra. If this were a spec bio piece, I would make it a species of crab that evolved to clean the hydra of parasites.

Cetus - Sea monsters such as these are perhaps the furthest from the traditional Greek drakon, while still remaining core parts of the mythology. In form cetoi range from exaggerations of real whales and sharks to dog-headed serpents with frilly fins and ears. Or even animal-headed fish. Because they live underwater, they almost always function as tools of divine vengeance. Kinda hard to steal treasure underwater. Heavy metal tends to sink. While cetus was originally a word for any sea monster, it would eventually become the root of the scientific term cetacean: whales and dolphins.

But the tree doesn't end there. See, even after the culture we recognize as the Ancient Greeks and Romans faded, their dragons still lived on. Medieval Europe, with its glorification of Greco-Roman texts, derived many of their folk beliefs from their predecessors. Or, the people who they liked to imagine were there predecessors.

Draco - The Romans adopted the Greek drakon whole-clothe, like a lot of stuff. The only noteworthy original dragon to come out of the pre-Fall Roman era was the Dacian Draco. The Dacians used the image of a dragon as a standard during war-time, represented as a serpent with the head of a dog. When conquered, the Romans adopted this, possibly beginning the Western tradition of associating dragons with military power and identity. The dog-headed serpent would also survive to the modern period, showing up in descriptions of Balkan lamya.

Indian Drakon - Here begins a tradition in Greek and Roman literature that claimed that foreign parts were full of large, dangerous, and more interesting fauna than the mundane peninsula they were all stuck on. This is a common theme of humanity in general, where everyone you're not familiar with is teeming with exciting and ancient life. Just look at cryptozoology. India in particular was a favorite of Greek tall tales, being far away for journeys to be rare, but also rich and full of exotic animals. Philostratus populated India with three types of drakons: the lowly marsh, the silver hill, and the dazzling golden mountain drakons. They were typical in every respect, having enormous sizes, red crowns, beards, and guarding treasure beneath the earth. An interesting addition was that they were the mortal enemies of elephants. Being the largest land-animal (in real life), they made perfect prey for these humongous serpents. Feeding on them was fraught with peril, however, as the struggle between reptile and mammal could result in the death of either party, or both. To symbolize the foreignness of the drakon, I drew it as a sort of hybrid between the drakon and the Hindu naga.

Pliny's Drakon - This drakon is otherwise the same as the Indian, but is the start of another theme. As time went on, philosophers began taking more grounded looks at fantastical animals. While also perpetuating even more outrageous falsehoods. None was more popular than Pliny the Elder, hence the name. He believed that, while foreign drakons might be real, they were much more similar to the snakes of Greece than the monsters of legend. He scoffed at the crowns and hair they were adorned with. His Natural History was the first of many instances where the fantastical elements of the dragon were toned down to seem more palatable to a scientifically minded audience. It also introduced an interest into the life history of the dragons, treating them as real animals with lives beyond the myths. Our dragon up top evolved to resemble pythons, rather than the other way around to what probably happened in real life, where pythons were exaggerated to become dragons.

Then, we get two foreign influences, which would come to shape the modern definition of the European dragon. Christianity's influence cannot be understated here. As Jonathan Evans states in Medieval Folklore, the dragon came to be confused with several other desert animals. In Jewish and early Christian belief, desert animals were themselves demonic, living in inhospitable regions devoid of human life. Later, texts like Revelations would specifically denote dragons as heralds of evil, and even harbingers of Armageddon itself. This is in contrast to the morally neutral Leviathan. In the medieval era, dragons were beings of evil, without a doubt. Bestiaries were full of on the nose fables about how the natural lives of dragons. Like how they could not stand the breath of a panther (a symbol of Jesus Christ). Or how they could not catch birds that nested in the Peridexion tree (the tree being the church and the birds being Christians, who are safe from the devil so long as they do not stray from the arms of God). This is represented by a typical medieval devil, being brightly colorful and made in mockery of God's creations, aka a weird hybrid with a snake coming out of his butt. Then, the Germanic dragon. This is seen especially in Northern and Western Europe. The Germanic dragon is otherwise similar to the Greek, except that it began as a character of evil. Lindworms and other serpents are almost always antagonists, and there is no heroine who saves them from their fate of death. They also had a stronger connection to treasure. Greek dragons guarded treasure as a job, but the very existence of Germanic dragons is tied with their golden hoards. In addition, in Greek myths, getting transformed into an animal is usually the end of one's story. With the Germanic dragon, it's merely the beginning. Transformed dragons act as antagonists and moral lessons wrapped in one; a lesson to all to not be greedy. Germanic dragons, represented by the lindworm, reinforced their role as antagonists and agents of selfish evil.

Which finally brings us to the medieval dragon. In a way, this creature is a mix of everything above. The dragon is an animal and demon in one, simultaneously a figure of evil who spoils the land around them and a living being with its own life and needs. The medieval era also introduces the origin of dragons, showing them as having nests and young, not simply coming into existence out of the earth or sea like before. They also developed some less reptilian traits, like wings and hair. This was probably because of artistic traditions among the monks who wrote bestiaries rather than popular legend, which continued to conflate them with snakes and lizards and even crocodiles. This particular line of the tree would develop a life of its own, spreading far and wide across Europe and eventually reaching beyond the seas. Our modern conceptions of dragons are a whole 'nother story.

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cupidcreates · 4 years

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akdsfjkdksj I wasn’t expecting you to churn all this content out so quick (´∀｀)♡ omgosh you went above and beyond with the love language ask!! I love to see your interpretation of these characters so what do the cast consider the perfect date to be? low key vs high key? local vs out of town? -😌✨

Thank you! I’m glad you liked the love language post, sorry it took so long lol. As for their favorite dates I think I’ll do the same characters here:

Katsuki Bakugou

Rock Climbing/Hiking Dates

Canonically one of Katsuki’s favorite things to do is go rock climbing so he’d definitely want to bring a SO along every so often. If you’re an athletic person and enjoy being outdoors this will be a very fun date! If you’re not a very athletic person (as many of us aren’t) Katsuki will settle for just going for a short hike along a trail. Katsuki gets super talkative on hikes as well, as you’re walking he’ll just be talking about literally anything! From Hero work to his friends/family, to things that have been bothering him lately. Whatever is on his mind he’ll share with you while you’re both out, which is incredibly helpful as he doesn’t ever discuss his feelings at any other point in time. Plus it gives him a chance to show off how fit he is in front of you, which you both always consider a plus.

Izuku Midoriya

Movie Dates

A Classic, perhaps a little plain even, but Izuku absolutely loves to take you to the movies. He loves everything about the date, from discussing what you’re about to watch, to getting the snacks, to whispering in the back row (if you’re the type to get annoyed by talking during a movie he’ll keep this to a bare minimum). He loves being able to snuggle up next to you and hold your hand while discussing the finer points of the plot (If you’ll tolerate talking of course). Don’t think he’s being innocent here though, he definitely uses the darkness surrounding you as cover as he runs his hands up your thighs. Unbeknownst to most, Izuku is actually very much a horndog. He conceals it very well but he’s only barely capable of keeping his hands to himself when it comes to his SO. Any chance he gets to touch you he’ll take it, more than likely this is why his second favorite type of date is usually a stay-in date...

Shoto Todoroki

Dinner Dates

Another Classic, Shoto loves to treat his SO to expensive treats with his favorite being food-related dates at lavish restaurants. Not a week goes by that he doesn’t take you out on the town for the night at some place you’re sure you couldn’t even afford a glass of water at. It’s almost never the same place twice either, Shoto is actually a foodie and enjoys trying new types of cuisine whenever he can. He’s got a whole list of places he wants to take you, and if they require reservations he’s already got them locked down. If you love eating Shoto is your man, he’ll make sure you’re set with a wide variety of foods to choose from and always remembers any place you happen to be partial to.

Denki Kaminari

Amusement/Water Park Dates

Denki is a fun-loving guy through and through, he knows how to have a good time and wherever you happen to go he makes sure you do too. That being said, his absolute favorite place to take you is to an amusement or water park. It’s not often you two get to go, as you’re both very busy with your respective hero work most days, but when you do it’s a day-long affair. You’re there from the minute the park opens to the second it shuts down, riding as many rides as you can manage, eating greasy garbage food, and making sure to strike the dumbest poses for any rides that take pictures. You’ve got a whole scrapbook of these photos by now, their ridiculousness increasing with each new one added.

Eijirou Kirishima

Beach Dates

You wouldn’t expect Eijirou Kirishima to be a Thalassophile (Def. Person who loves the ocean) but he is. He adores being on the beach and it’s his preferred location for a date. You’ve spent many a sunny afternoon seaside with Eijirou, building sandcastles, chasing crabs, and just enjoying the ocean. One memorable afternoon you found yourselves right next to a sea turtles nest and you got to watch the babies pop out of the sand and scurry towards the ocean, assisted by Eijirou as he chased off the seagulls looking to make them a meal. Eijirou also enjoys surfing, and if you know how to do so he’ll get you matching boards so you can ride the waves together. If you’re not partial to surfing he’ll be sure to pull out all his tricks while you watch him, he’ll even let you onto his board with him so you two can just float together by the shore. Of course you two can’t go to the beach year round, but when you can you’re both sure to make the most of these sunny days, even if he does get an awful sunburn by the end of it.

Hitoshi Shinsou

Gaming Dates

Hitoshi isn’t what one would call ‘social’ when given the choice between going out for a night and staying home he’ll almost always choose the latter. So it’s expected that his favorite type of date is one where you two can stay inside and enjoy each others company. You both work so hard as Heros, why not spend your days off relaxing with one another? He can spend hours alone with you, preferably kicking your ass at Mario Party or some other multiplayer game. He doesn’t need anything except you, his consoles, and a pile of your favorite snacks to have a good time. That being said, if you want him to go out for a date the best way to convince him is to take him to some kind of arcade, especially if it’s a VR arcade. He feels a kind of nostalgic joy for these places and won’t hesitate to return and feel like a kid again. Plus it’s always nice to repeatedly prove to you that yes he is the champion of Dance Dance Revolution and you will never usurp this title from him.

Tamaki Amajiki

Park/Picnic Dates

As I’ve mentioned in a previous post, Tamaki loves spending time outdoors; surrounded by and in awe of nature and it’s complex inner workings. He enjoys just taking time to appreciate the world around him, so dates where you can both relax outside and enjoy each other’s company are his favorite kind. He has a specific hill at his favorite park he likes to take you, bringing a lunch of all your favorite foods he sets you both up under the biggest shade tree for an afternoon. You both lay back on your worn picnic blanket and just cloudgaze, talking for hours about anything and everything. Much like Bakugou, Tamaki gets very talkative on these dates, discussing his week with you and anything new he might have learned over the course of it. He’s so very endearing on these dates its easy to fall silent and just listen to him for hours.

Mirio Togata

Crafting Dates

Mirio likes to have memorabilia from your dates, so you can expect a lot of dates to center around making things. More than just your average painting classes Mirio has also taken you to sculpting, woodworking, and glass blowing classes to name a few. At the end of your dates you both exchange what you’ve made and Mirio absolutely adores anything you craft, regardless of its quality in your eyes. He puts his heart and soul into making you something and more often than not it turns out spectacularly. Mirio wasn’t as good with the ceramics class, but you love the warped vase he made (even if it was technically supposed to be a cup at the start, we’ve all been there). Mirio’s kept everything you made him and even has a shelf in his house just dedicated to what you’ve made, it makes him so happy to come home after a hard day of work and see physical memories of his time with you.

Keigo Takami

Aquarium/Zoo Dates

Underneath Keigo’s charming and charismatically upbeat personality lies a bitter and broken man, drained by his role in Hero Society and left an empty shell of his former self. Underneath that personality lies a kid who never got to have a proper childhood and desperately wants to make up for it. He now uses his dates with you to do just that; not that you mind of course, dates with Keigo are always fun and lighthearted and you love to see him truly enjoy himself for once. Keigo’s favorite places to go are definitely large and intricately designed Zoos and Aquariums. He loves to look at the painstakingly accurate and detailed natural habitats, make fun of the stranger animal names you find, and learn new information about foreign bird species. Loves to mimic their calls too, much to the irritation of the birds and the zoo employees. He makes it a point to always get you a stuffed animal at the end of the date, ensuring that you now have a massive collection of them sitting all around your room. You’re always kept up to date on any Zoo or Aquarium events thanks to Keigo, as he has a calendar dedicated to all the unique events they have going on throughout the year.

Touya Todoroki

Crash Dates

Dabi is...well he’s unpredictable at the best of times and it’s very rare that you two have time for anything even resembling a date (being an S class villain does make it hard to exist normally in society and do normal couple things but it ees what it ees). However, when he can take you one a date --well the term “date” is generous here- it’s never a dull one. You’re not sure how he does it but when you go out you always manage to end up somewhere Dabi could never get into naturally. From sold-out concerts, to stand up shows, to parties at lavish houses belonging to people you’ve never even heard of let alone met before; dates with Dabi are always somewhere you two definitely shouldn’t be. One memorable morning he took you to a country club where you got to each fancy exclusive rich people food and play a horrible facsimile of golf before you were eventually found and chased out. It’s always fun to see how long you two can crash an even before being found out.

Tomura Shigaraki

Cemetery/Haunted Places Dates

Tomura Shigaraki is a man who enjoys his space from other people, in his opinion the only good person is a dead one (unless he’s talking about you, of course). So it’s not abnormal for your dates to be in a place far away from others. Again the term “date” is being very generous, more often than not he’ll approach you, tell you to follow him, and you’ll wind up in some abandoned building or graveyard. Normally this would be cause for concern, as this is exactly what happens in horror movies before someone gets killed, but Tomura has a soft spot for you so your safety is ensured. Tomura loves to see a place reclaimed by nature, vines growing over a run down house or worn out gravestones breaking apart into chunks of marble with barely legible words on them. He doesn’t talk much on your dates, but will often give you a random bit of insight about him; like on one date where you both walked alongside abandoned train tracks at dusk and he told you about the dog he had as a child. He seeks no pity from you, and these dates are not the conventionally romantic type, but you enjoy being able to be with Tomura in a way no one else ever has or ever will.

#answered #mha #bnha #katsuki bakugo #izuku midoriya #shoto todoroki #hitoshi shinsou #denki kaminari #eijiro kirishima #tamaki amajiki #mirio togata #keigo takami #mha hawks #touya todoroki #dabi #tomura shigaraki #this took forever to finish I'm so sorry lol #bnha headcanons #mha headcanons

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athingthatwantsvirginia · 4 years

Text

we never painted by the numbers

chapter one of the peter losing wendy series

*inspired by Taylor Swift’s Folklore*

Pairing: JJ Maybank x Original Character (Liz Walker)

Warnings: alcohol, partying, plot does not follow the canon

Word Count: 2.6K

Summary: At the Labor Day party in the Boneyard, Liz and JJ have trouble avoiding each other.

September 2, 2019

Though the sand was cool beneath her feet, Liz felt her cheeks burning red. Her heart beat anxiously against her ribs. Chewing on her bottom lip, she descended the slope down to the shore, where she would find the keg. Where she would find JJ. She kept telling herself there was no reason to be nervous, that it would be the same as it always had been. But as soon as she spotted him, her stomach sank and she had to avert her eyes. His face was lit dimly beneath the half moon, and she could tell he was smiling even from across the crowd of sweaty teenagers. Swallowing down the sick nerves creeping up her throat, she meandered through the masses and finally arrived at the center of the party. The other pogues, along with Sarah Cameron, stood around the keg like politicians schmoozing voters. Ask, and the people shall receive shitty keg beer. Liz wanted to grimace at herself for thinking such bitter thoughts, but she plastered on a weak smile instead.

Kie noticed her before she even had to say anything, pulling her into a drunken side hug and squealing some joyous exclamation. Liz couldn’t quite understand her through all the slurring, but she knew the gist of the words tumbling from Kie’s mouth. It had been too long, even though they saw each other at work it just wasn’t the same, and the like. No matter how much she wanted to, Liz knew she couldn’t just disappear. She couldn’t suddenly stop showing up on the HMS Pogue for Sunday fishing trips or not make an appearance at a party. Especially not the Labor Day blowout to celebrate the beginning of senior year.

Rather, she chose to fade away. Show her face less and less until, hopefully, they forgot she ever existed. It wasn’t an airtight plan, but it was the best she could come up with. She promised Kie they would dance together later, after Liz was able to down a few drinks. A chorus of cheers followed, the rest of the group elated to see the friend who had been working an inexplicable number of shifts the past few weeks. And, for just a moment, Liz felt secure in the spot where she stood. Kie had her arm around Liz’s shoulders, babbling on to Sarah about some memory from the Kook Academy Liz wasn’t present for.

On a normal night, it would have bothered Liz. Before Sarah Cameron had shown up and John B started macking on her, Kie had been Liz’s confidant. The only other girl to relate to in the face of three clueless boys. But Liz didn’t share a childhood with Kie the way Sarah did. Liz knew she hadn’t exactly been replaced, but she was also smart enough to know it would never be the same. She would never again be the one Kie immediately thought to call when she considered cutting her hair or getting another spontaneous dolphin tattoo. It was Liz who had, in fact, replaced Sarah. And why would Kie need the replacement when the original was back in the picture?

Despite the old, familiar hurt bubbling up in her chest, though, Liz just couldn’t bring herself to care when Kie and Sarah twirled away to go dance near the portable speaker. There were bigger fish to fry. Harder pills to swallow as she took a tentative step towards the keg, and the three boys, to ask for a drink. She wasn’t lost on the way JJ had been avoiding her gaze and hadn’t said a word upon his noticing her arrival. Liz was pretty sure it wasn’t lost on Pope either, even if she and JJ were both doing their best to act as usual for the sake of their friends. At least Liz didn’t have to worry about John B noticing anything was wrong. He was oblivious, as always.

“Hey, Liz, where have you been?” John B asked with a wide smile, pouring her a red solo cup of watery beer before she could actually even ask for one.

Liz shrugged and tucked some stray hairs, flying loose in the ocean breeze, behind her ear. “Here and there. And I mean...nowhere, really.”

John B furrowed his brows and chuckled at her cryptic tone. “Okay, James Bond. Don’t tell me then.”

“Just work and stuff,” she continued, noncommittal, as she accepted the drink from his outstretched hand. “Mommy dearest hasn’t been in the best mood lately, either. Lots of fires to put out on the home front.”

“Ouch,” John B said, commisterating. “Well, are you staying on the pullout tonight? I think there’s a free spot. Pope’s staying at Kie’s, so…”

“Oh, I don’t know. It just um...depends. I’ll let you know later,” she said, looking down into her drink and taking a big gulp.

She wasn’t a drinker most nights, but she felt as though she might need a little bit more than she was used to. Still, the PBR burned warmly in her gut as it went down. She could almost hear JJ teasing her about being a lightweight. And she almost waited to actually hear him say it, but she knew he wouldn’t. She locked eyes with him for just a moment, but then a Touron girl came up for a drink, and Liz didn’t have his attention anymore.

Ready to service a new customer, John B brushed off Liz’s uncertainty and gave her a half-nod, along with some sort of affirmative grunt. Only Pope kept his inquisitive gaze on Liz. By the time he approached her carefully, she had taken a few steps back from the keg and begun to space out, watching the reverie. Some heavy rap song played, the majority of the people in attendance dancing their hearts out in the sand. But Liz stayed close to the shoreline, the water licking at the backs of her heels. She’d discarded her shoes the moment she jumped off her bike, leaving them in the small basket. Part of her worried about them getting stolen, but then she knew nobody would. They knew what her bike looked like, they knew who she was friends with. The Kooks did, at least. And it was far more likely she would steal from a Touron before a Touron ever stole from her. She was debating whether to go and sit by the bonfire, up near the dunes, when Pope came to stand beside her.

“Hey, so...what’s up with you?” he began hesitantly.

“What do you mean?” she asked, not meeting his eyes and taking another long sip. The beer was already almost gone.

Pope pursed his lips, then turned to face her fully and took on the stern tone of voice which always made Liz want to roll her eyes. “Did you and JJ have a fight or something? It seems like there’s some weird shit going on between the two of you. And you haven’t been around for weeks. Kie was worried sick last weekend when you skipped out on free crab legs.”

“I had stuff going on, Pope,” Liz replied easily.

“Can’t you just stop bullshitting me for one second?” Pope asked, eyebrows raised in frustration.

Licking her lips, Liz took a deep breath to compose herself and finally looked directly at Pope. “I had to work. My mom’s a fucking mess. I was exhausted, alright?”

“But it’s not just that,” Pope continued. He was approaching it almost as though it were a question of logic. As though he could solve everything if he only knew where the mistake in the problem was. “You and JJ are best friends, Liz. But you guys can’t even look at each other. What the hell happened?”

Nerves began to jitter right beneath Liz’s skin, making her itch. “Nothing happened, okay? Maybe I just need some time...for myself.”

Pope scoffed. Even on her worst day, the most Liz would do was hide out in the spare bedroom at the Chateau to take a breather. Never before had she willingly chose to stay at her own house instead of John B’s. Especially not since John B had finally become an emancipated minor the year before, and they no longer had to worry about Child Protective Services randomly showing up. Liz had always been so worried they would recognize her, and they would again start asking the questions they had asked just after her father died.

“Time for yourself?” Pope repeated, unconvinced.

She nodded. “Yeah. I went to the movies by myself on Sunday for the matinee. It was pretty great. They were doing an anniversary screening of Donnie Darko. Like any of you guys would’ve been into that. So there’s just one of many examples.”

For a moment, Pope had to agree. “That movie does make a mockery of time travel.”

“Exactly,” Liz exclaimed sardonically. She had watched the movie with Pope once. She remembered just how dissimilar their reviews of it had been.

“But you and I both know JJ would’ve loved that shit,” Pope said.

Jaw tightening, Liz let out a small, humorless laugh and turned back to the crowd. “No way. That movie doesn’t have a happy ending. JJ only wants a happy ending.”

Before Pope could muster up an argument (she was right, after all; JJ couldn’t stand a less-than-happy ending unless they were watching some ridiculous low-budget creature feature), Liz left to go receive a refill. Shaking his head, Pope decided to let the problem lie for the time being. He wanted to go find Kie. He fancied himself a good boyfriend, and figured she would need her hair held back sooner or later.

. . .

Buzzed but not drunk, Liz laughed loudly at something the Touron boy across from her had said. He was short and stocky brunette, with straight white teeth and a bland face. But he was nice enough, and he didn’t seem to care that she was a couple inches taller than him. Besides, they couldn’t tell the difference when sitting on a log next to the bonfire. She was three drinks in, and finally the nagging voice was exiting her mind. Her heart was quieting to a steady beat, and she felt warm and calm instead of shaky. Her bare knee touched the Touron boy’s leg, and she smiled at the contact, though she thought vaguely that she couldn’t remember his name.

It was a party though. It’s what the Pogues were always telling her before. She could let loose at a party, if she wanted. She could do without thinking, if she wanted. The uncertainty didn’t go entirely out the window, however, until she spotted JJ from across the fire again. He was dancing, like usual. With some tanned, blonde Touron girl. Her lips were bubblegum pink and she giggled girlishly. Liz knew she could never make herself giggle like that. Not at all. It wasn’t in her DNA. The warmth of the bonfire made her feel reckless, almost, as she saw the dimple appear on JJ’s cheek. He laughed at whatever the girl had whispered in his ear.

She saw flashes of him everywhere, even in places he wasn’t. Without as much access to Twinkie, she had been relegated to the bus as of late. There was only so far her bike could take her. The day had been hot and muggy, and she had opted to take the bus to the bank instead of biking over. She preferred not to be a sweaty, melting mess when she sat down and discussed her savings. The savings her mother didn’t seem to know about. Her nose had been buried in a worn copy of Fear and Loathing in Las Vegas. She’d been sitting on the searing metal bench waiting for the bus to arrive, when she glanced up and her gaze immediately landed on a shaggy blonde head of hair. For just a moment, her heart had done a twist. It looked so much like JJ. Until whoever it was turned around on their skateboard, and Liz had found some random Touron instead of her best friend.

At the time, she shrugged it off and kept up her alternating pattern of reading and obsessing over everything that could go wrong with her savings account. Later, though, when she’d been lying in bed with only the sound of cicadas to distract her, the vivid moment had come back to the forefront of her mind. There was something so visceral about the feeling she’d had. When she thought it was him. It left her wondering if she’d always felt so much for JJ, or if it was only because of what had happened this summer. She didn’t know. For the life of her, she couldn’t remember a time when just the sound of his name or the sight of his smile didn’t have her insides erupting with the flutter of butterflies.

The lucid shock hit her again when she saw him dancing. A skip in the beating of her heart and a wave of involuntary shivers rolling over her. But instead of being confused, this time it only made her angry. She could think of no other way to stop her feelings for him. Try as she might, she couldn’t erase them. A dull, throbbing irritation settled inside her when the intense moment of realization passed. She noticed how the Touron boy still droned on next to her, unaware of the deep waters of thought in which she swam. She felt bad for not being able to remember his name. He’d just told her so quickly, before he’d launched into some diatribe about his hockey team. Something with an A. Aaron? Adam? Alex? It was no use, she decided. She only tried her best to listen, blinking harshly to clear her eyes of their pensive glaze. The Touron boy eventually saw her change in demeanor. His words became filled with awkwards gaps of silence as he lost his train of thought, and his mouth slowly turned up at the corners in a small, almost endearing, grin.

“Would you wanna make out?” he asked.

She was taken slightly aback by the question. Of all the Pogues, she was the only one who had never hooked up with a Touron at or after a party. Pope had once stood alongside her in the lonely camp, until he’d gotten hot and heavy with some girl, just a few weeks before finally admitting his true feelings for Kie. Liz was just glad the secret was finally out between the two of them.

Biting at her lips again, she let her mind swirl with thoughts, with possibilities. He was attractive, sure. Whatever his name was. And he certainly wasn’t looking for a commitment. He wasn’t always going to be there, at the end of her day and in the back of her mind, as JJ was. Again, moments with him played like a home video behind her eyes. Tossing pennies in the Williams’s wishing well on her tenth birthday and creating a pseudo-rosé to drink with the Pogues last New Year’s. Her heart beating heavy and high as she woke up from a dream about him, where he found such complete happiness without her. She could almost see it happening, the way he was dancing with the Touron girl. And Liz knew there was no way in hell she was sleeping at the Chateau. JJ was bound to take the pretty blonde home at the end of the night. And he would be just another step farther away from her. Everywhere in her world; and now, nowhere at all.

She nodded. “Yes.”

And she pulled the Touron boy in gently with one hand on his cheek before he could initiate anything himself. He tasted of hard liquor and disillusionment.

#jj maybank fanfiction #outer banks fanfiction #jj x oc #jj maybank x oc #outer banks au #oc fanfiction #jj maybank au #jj maybank fic #john b #john b routledge #pope heyward #kiara carrera #sarah cameron

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jamiebluewind · 4 years

Text

Fantasy High Characters 2.12

I'll go back to ep 2.11 eventually, but I wanted to get this one out while it's still the newest. As always, let me know if I need to edit or add anything and tag/ask/PM me about art and stories so I can check them out!

Warnings: canon typical violence, gore, blood, gross mention, vomit, fantasy racism mention, disturbing imagery, panic attack mention, threats, murder, alcohol, injury

***

Ally (on the fig/ayda kiss): Two young Sheldon's makeing out XD

Lou (on the second fig/ayda kiss): Yes-ah! Yes-ah! Yes-ah! Yes-ah! I bless this union! Yes-ah!

Brennan (on forgetting to change the music for the arcane crime scene): -this is the wrong music for this moment

***

New Characters

Craf-me Rootdrinker

Gnome and druid

Gave his life 200 years ago to reclaim Arborly from the curse

Was very kind

Avoided "cleric nonsense"

Nuathura (New-ah-thoo-ra) the Fox

Older red fox who was awakened as a pup by Craf-me (was his familiar/companion)

Spry and slinky despite his age

Fluent in silvian, elvish, and gnomish

Runs the town (basically the mayor) and offers the adventurers every resource in their village at their disposal

Appreciates it when he is shown respect and is more open to outsiders and outsider tech than Mira, saying that the Nightmare King was once defeated by a strange band of Solesians and that they were delighted to have them

Likes shrimp and was given one by Fabian and four (one on each paw) by Kristen

Was told the crown of the Nightmare King was kept deep under a pit under a pyramid where it could never be found (and was understandably upset to discover that it was instead kept on a shelf in a dean's office and now in the hands of Adaine's mom who is trying to get into the forest)

Mira Silverbough/Silverbow

Wood elf and leader of the rangers who guard the town (of which there are 40 standing on bolders with arrows nocked when the teens wake up)

Intense angular face with steal gray eyes and long black hair on the top of her head (that might hang down in her face) with shaved sides that appear to be turning gray/salt and pepper

Dressed in dark forest green with leather archer's bracers and gloves with

"Ah. Not TRULY children. These are almost adults grown. Come here!" *gestures for the teens to come over*

Racist against those with infernal lineage, goblins, and orcs, but seems to be racist against all other races in general

Was put off by technology she doesn't understand

Referred to Fig as a troubadour (poet who writes verses to music or specificly a French medieval lyric poet) and the van as very small house of wheels

Furrowed her brow at Adaine being the Oracle

Second to Nuathura and very protective of him

Krumpkin Springbill

Head of the Tinkerer's Hall

Round as a pumpkin with a shiny bald head and a mustashe like a push broom

Dressed in soot covered goggles (which he pushed up) and a leather apron filled with tools

He and the other gnomes come up to Gorgug's mid thigh

Two unnamed gnomes

Person with a huge handlebar mustache and a top hat with gear in the side of it

Woman with folded canvas ornithopter wings

Unnamed Bartender

Works at The Owl And The Harp

Was told by Adaine that she was looking for her mom and was shocked by her crystal (used to show him a picture)

Said Elianwyn was staying on the top floor, but thought the kids couldn't afford the substantial outstanding debt she left behind (after leaving without checking out) of 10 gold

Was paid 12 gold by Adaine, then 5 gold by Riz, then another 5 gold by Riz (which was wet), and shown a very round frog by Adaine

Told them that they were acting very suspicious despite being warned about them by the rangers

Most likely has no idea the damage Elianwyn did to the suite she was renting

Vraz the Mean

Executive Potenti of the Dominion of Avernus (first/topmost layer of hell) and Arch Secretary to Blozo the Undimenished who is the regnant of Sloth

Came through a burning oval doorway opened by Fig's magic (which opens to red firy sky and blasted red plane)

Dressed in black steal plate armor and horned helmet, covering all but her face

Beautiful woman's face with porcelain skin, ruby red lips, and a seem at the edge of her helmet where the rest of her skin had been flayed off her body

Burnt scarred skeletal remains of wings

Carrying a burning scroll to serve to Fig

Killean

Wood elf, resident of Arborly, drunkard, and a cruel man

Worked for Elianwyn and was rude to the tinkerers while picking up wax, ink components, and fiddle faddle for her

Had short cropped brown hair, hazel eyes, and a small amount of facial hair

Seen in scry as a puppet with a slit throat. Not wearing a shirt or boots as he left bloody footprints. Blood dripped from his burning dull red glowing eyes into his beard. His sternum was broke open and a fire was roiling within the open exposed wound where a gem was glowing.

Shone a dull red glow 20 feet ahead of the group which causesd a path to open in the dark, twisted, and grarled forest like a subterranean tunnel

Established Characters

Elianwyn (Adaine's mom)

Stayed at The Owl And The Harp for several months

Kept to herself, save sending Killean to get things for her at the Tinkerer's Hall (they had spell components that could be used by both them and wizards)

Vanished with Killean and Aelwyn the night Aelwyn arrived

Murdered Killean and did a spell that left him a puppet with Gorthalax's gem in his chest

Went into the forest, using puppet Killean to cause the briars to retract

Was wearing a deep elven traveling cloak and covered in nasty scars related to a curse (but might be due to a Fallinel curse and not the original crown curse)

Aelwyn

Arrived at Arborly a night before the bad kids (and 2 nights before the bad kids talked to the locals) and was still uncontrollably and explosively gassy (which reaked), worse for wear, and started crying

Changed into wood elven travel garb and traveled with Elianwyn into the forest

Dispelled Adaine's scry without seeing it

Calina

Told Kristen that if they make it through the wall, she would kill them all (starting with Tracker) and that the only reason they were alive was because they were a nuisance (not a full problem) and never got between her and what she wanted

"I want you to stay out of that fucking forest."

Riz didn't see Calina despite being right there and the grass wasn't bent or disturbed where she was supposed to have been standing

Pok's sleeve wasn't disturbed where she was supposed to be standing either and she couldn't drink (or possibly hold anything at all)

She gave Riz sleep paralysis, but never hurt him

Most likely doesn't exist anywhere physically

Is in their heads, but still had to ask questions, so she can project herself into their minds but not read their minds

Note: The unmade goddess turned her familiar (a black cat) into a plague

Kristen

Told Tracker she shouldn't be guilty about passing on any kind of sickness because she believed it had to do with both of them due to her secrets combined with Tracker being a carrier

Suggested doing spells through a dental dam as she had a bunch from Jawbone (who kept insisting that she use them)

Found a bag of loose crab meat and used it to make crab nachos (which she always makes when she has the choice as her parents always made it for parties and never let her have any)

Got drunk and tried to make Riz kiss a shrimp when he got upset, offered Fig a "shrimp secret", tried to throw Fig 2 beers (which Gorgug smashes and she thought was awesome), called Gorgug a scientist when he said he was a little crab, and called Riz "king crab king!" when he was down on himself.

Saw Calina when nobody else could and responded by screaming "Fuck you!" at her

Drank a cortada and stayed cool while Calina was there (talking shit about her as Calina threatened her and the group) but freaked out after she left, asking everyone to hold her and dogpile on her before she vomited coffee and shrimp

Was okay once she was pressed into the grass by all her friends

Tried to get Tracker to stay in town and not go into the forest, offering handcuffs and asking as officer Kristen (and even colonel Kristen using an order)

Tracker

Still rocked after the Galicia sister thing saying that the elven church and the priestesses she knows are nothing alike, but they both worship the same goddess and what the elves did was causing her to have a lot of questions for the first time

Took precautions during things like the life transference spell to avoid passing on lycanthropy, but had never thought to protect herself from something coming back the other way

Had a good talk with Sandra Lynn and gave her a solid shovel talk

Translated the gist of what the others were saying in elvish (to Nuathura and wood elves) for Gorgug and Ragh

Got drunk, balanced crab nachos on her head, and told the others to "Let [Fig] use the shrimp tub!" which resulted in a "shrimp tub" chant

Comforted a freaked out Kristen by rubbing circles in her back

Shivered when she entered the Shrine of Thorns, her eyes flashing yellow as she suddenly felt nauseous and generally not good as the shrine basically repelled her until she exited it

Adaine

Had a message chat that's mostly jokes and memes (that Fig wasn't in on due to losing her phone)

Wanted a fluffy robe

Her crystal has meditation and non-fiction (like a hystory on mage hand) instead of music

Found bellinis and caviar to eat (instead of crab nachos) and shared with Fabian

Drank half a beer, got a little drunk, wondered where Fig was (but was silenced by Kristen), wanted to go in the hot tub with Fig, and pretended to be a crab

On rather they should be honest with the wood elves "Maybe? It makes me nervous. Everything majes me nervous. Sure. Why not?"

Slipped behind Fig during the wood elf standoff and held up a fist while saying "yeah!" to support her, but jumped in with her status as the Oracle, saying it was a prophesy and going into the forest was "A thing we have to do." (which made the wood elves lower their bows and whisper to each other)

Admitted that her sister and mother were trying to get into the forest too, but that they were working against them

Started searching for Calina nearby after her sister booted her from scrying

Told the bartender at The Owl And The Harp that she was looking for her mom (with picture) and paid off her outstanding debt of 10 gold for the suite (with a 2 gold tip) before going upstairs to discover the crime scene her mother left behind

Ragh

Found a bunch of kippers for Fabian

Munched on an entire bone in ham

Got drunk, got shirtless and started screaming "More lobster! You're not lobster enough!" at Tracker

Pointed out the obvious (one guy in town has 4 refridgerators) when Fabian was worried about introducing tech too soon

Gorgug

Got drunk, did a "crab stand", made his arms look like a crab, chanted "crab king" at Ragh, became crab king, said the shrimp tub was not for peasants (when Fabian told Fig about it), smashed the two beers Kristen threw to Fig out of the air (followed by a celebratory yell and him pumping both arms in the air while the bloodrush boys chanted "hoot growl!"), said "I'm a little crab." to Kristen, and finally gave Riz the crab king crown and said Riz? *points at him* You're the crab king now.

Walked up to Nuathura to say hello in gnomish when he heard Nuathura mention tinkerers

Told the tinkerers that he repaired the Hangman, but failed to make a working mechanical butt for him

"Showed" the tinkerers his crystal and headphone as well (and by that I mean the were crawling all over him like excited 5 year olds)

Riz

Started setting up a tiny conspiracy board in Hollyhill minutes after getting there

When asked how he got a certain picture of Kristen, he said "You know... you take pictures; you hang um. That's what you do."

Said "I'm gonna snoop around. In a suspicious way, NOT in a party way." and finds Spyre tech and receipts showing that the guy is expensing stuff to his corporate card that have nothing to do with his work, resulting in him telling the others that it was a tax haven and illegal, so he felt less bad about having a party and more like Robin hood stealing his beer.

Got drunk, somehow stated acting/dancing like a shrimp, pointed out that Gorgug was a crab, started crying and got emotional because "Shrimp are so little and sometimes they get caught in the nets and stuff!" and told Kristen "I'm not gonna kiss the shrimp! It's dead Kristen. And we killed it.", cried again before Fabian comforted him, and became the crab king saying "Honestly, I just wanted to be the crab king. This whole time I've just been the shrimp and I feel like I've been the shrimp my whole life and I just wanna be the crab king. It means a lot that you guys made me the crab king."

Is super hung over the next day as well as super sweaty and nervous about being around a bunch of people, but still tells the elves that there is a demonic plot

Saw that something was off with Fig and thought for a moment that she might have kissed someone, but ends up going with "Did you have... good crab?"

Discovered what his fate would have been if the group hadn't rescued him when Adaine scrys Killean

Vomited over seeing Kristen vomit

Didn't see Calina despite looking exactly where Kristen was and checked the grass with his magnifying glass to find that the grass wasn't bent or disturbed where Calina was supposed to have been standing

Gets super sweaty and unhelpful when trying to talk to the bartender

Had no idea when to stop trying to bribe the bartender and said that the money was so wet because he ate a lot of shrimp

Fabian

Got in a small argument with Adaine on rather or not it was okay to touch your dad's butt (he said it's fine)

Still has the sheet with him as well as the sword Faun-drang-goorh

Got drunk, excitedly said Riz was a shrimp and that Gorgug was a crab, said "I'm a little shrimp!" over and over while dancing, tried to explain everything that had happened to Fig (including that the hot tub upstairs was filled with shrimp), tried to comfort a crying Riz by telling him "The Ball, it's going to be alright. The shrimp will be fine.", and wrapped Riz in his sheet, looked him dead in the eyes (with one hand on either side of Riz while gripping the sheet), and told him "I believe in you. *licks lip* Spring break.", before giving Riz his first ever bardic inspiration

The next day, gave Nuathura a shrimp from his pocket

Rebbed engine of Hangman as Kristen tried to give an inspiring speech

Fig

When opening Hollyhill, said "What did I say? Has your girl ever not delivered?" followed by a resounding "Yes!" from the group

Found a ghost white mushroom with a black skull imprint on the top of it while looking for psychedelics and wanted to eat it

Hears whispering coming from the briar wall

"Sometimes one of the fun things about friendship is just being a chorus on nonsense together and you don't have to hear each other; it just feels really good to talk really loud."

Sees nonsense as a good way to escape when things get too heavy or dark

Talked down about her abilities, especially when compared to Ayda

The thorns don't try to attack her, so she used burning hands on the thorns and the vines sucked up the magic, moving it to the Shrine of Thorns and leaving behind a charred handprint

Didn't want Ayda to know she was a virgin

Cast greater invisibility on her and Ayda

Rolled bad on insight checks on Ayda (trackerbees take two! XD)

Is terrified of saying nice things to others and vomits a little in a bush before telling Ayda "I actually think you're perfect the way you are" before skateboarding away and down an 80 foot near vertical tree, coming out of invisibility so Ayda could see her trick.

Couldn't go anywhere on her skateboard in the ferns and dirt

Wrote up a "contract" after Ayda's confession that said if Ayda made fun of her for what she was about to say, she could give her a wet willy. Before Ayda could sign, she took Ayda by the chin, said "Just so you know, I've never done this as myself before', kissed her (as the fire on Ayda's head swelled out and she became uninvisible), and tried to skateboard away behind a tree, peaking out to see what Ayda thought of it.

Slinked out from behind the tree, apologizing and admitting all of it terrified her before Ayda asked for another kiss.

Admited she started the whole party so Ayda would stick around.

Made out with Ayda until a bit before dawn and tried very hard to get Ayda to stay

Gave Ayda the ear cuff from her left ear which has blood on it (Ayda replied that she will treasure it and can use it)

Went back to Hollyhill to find her drunk friends before locking herself in the room with the hot tub and was still kinda pruney the next day

Name drops Grover to the wood elves, explaining that he offered to let them stay there (to try and deescalate things with the rangers)

Shook hands with Nuathura the Fox

Was honest to the wood elves (that the group were going into the Nightmare Forest), resulting in the rangers pulling back their bowstrings (and her backtracking)

Random note: Try to contact your warlock patron Fig!!!

Burned 1 or 2 luck points to keep a perceptive Riz from finding out that she made out with Ayda

Found a charred handprint in the shrine of thorns and recognized it as the same one her magic left at the top of briars and that the vines took somewhere

Lied to Tracker and Kristen, saying she was up by the briars working on song

Used burning hands again, causing the fire to spread into a stretching oval shaped burning doorway

Was served a burning scroll by Vraz the Mean on behalf of the regnant of Sloth

Ayda

Was invited to the party (which the group decided to have immediately, starting at 1 or 2 in the morning)

Stood in a corner looking around awkwardly before/during the party before following Fig out

Thought nonsense was bad, but Fig showed her that it could also be good and made her willing to try it

To Fig about disguising herself "Uh... yeah. That's interesting. I... can't understand that because if I was you, I wouldn't want to be anyone else because you're... very exceptional."

On Fig saying that she was different than Ayda thought she was "Being mistaken about the nature of something and discovering its true nature is my favorite thing in the world to do."

Turned herself and Fig invisible (look like a translucent version of themselves, like a pale outline to each other) and flew to the briar wall to give Fig a closer look.

Lit with Fig in the low looped saddle of two treetrunks that were fused together right next to the briar wall

Ayda's flaming hair and wings still cast a dull glow on her surroundings, even while invisible

Complemented Fig on her magic

Analyzed the wall and saw it was a very powerful and old abjuration (keeping them out but also keeping other things in) keyed to powerful devils (arcons, princes, and monarchs) where even dimension door would cause all roads and pathways to lead them back out.

Thorns tried to attack her

Thinks that everything Fig has done has been cool

"We all have a nasty legacy, in one way or another."

Laughed with a squawk

Spent a lot of lifetimes building Compass Points Library

Is part phoenix, so when she dies, she comes back but with no memory from her previous incarcerations. She left extensive notes and instructions for herself. This incarnation is 17 years old, but an Ayda has been on Leviathan for a little over 150 years

On why she never just reinvents herself when she reincarnates "Every time I come back, I don't know anything and I guess I trust the versions of me that knew more? I don't have a lot of self confidence and I don't... want... to make mistakes."

Said she could die when she goes back to Leviathan attempting to shut down the library as it's a dangerous city.

"The future's never guaranteed. We don't have anything but today and even that might get cut short."

Said she had information for Fig, but would only share it if Fig signed a contract (on ancient wizard scroll held in a binder that turns into bright fire and whips up into her palm when signed) that stated that Fig wont make any inference based on the information or think anything judgemental or critical of her. The information is "At any waking moment outside of combat that you and I have been together, if you had tried to kiss me on the mouth, it would have been received favorably."

Said Fig's contract was less of a contract and more of a threat

After Fig ran to hide behind a tree, she asked if it's normal for people to run away after that (kissing)

Shed firy tears over Fig starting a party so she would stay, admitting parties frighten and terrify her, but she stuck around because Fig was there

"In this version of my life, this is the greatest moment of it."

Enthusiasticly initiated their 3rd kiss

Said the library meant a lot to many past hers (her current incarnation and 3 others)

Offered to research plane shift for Fig at no charge and said that people ask things of her, but even if she cared about them, they never cared about her (save Fig who does care which makes it different and that's exciting)

Pulled out a firy feather with a squawk and handed it to Fig (if Fig holds if aloft and says her name, she will know)

Said if anything happened to Fig in the nightmare forest, she would "... start over" because she would never be able to forgive herself

Said she would go back to Leviathan to research Plane Shift and would return after that, intending to shrink the library later

"Goodbye for now. By the nine winds and the seven stars and all the secret names of the earth and beyond, I shall see you again. This is my vow." (resulting in Fig replying "Fuck yeah [is/that's] my vow." and Ayda saying "God you're great and cool. Goodbye!")

Sandra Lynn

Was more affectionate with Gilear than she had been the rest of the trip

Left Hangman in charge while she slept in the van

Spoke to the wood elves and Nuathura on behalf of the teens (while they slept til 1pm)

Gilear

Was trying to move the van to get ready for the teleport to Leviathan early that morning. Had the van in neutral with the door open when he tried to let his feet skim over the morning dew on the grass. He had put his apple in his mouth to shift when his trousers caught in the axle of the wheel, tearing them and sucking him under the left wheel well (WHY DIDN'T VAN SAY ANYTHING to anyone!???)

Really had to pee even before he got stuck and only made it 10 minutes before he gave up

The apple was jammed into his mouth (and later covered in ants). He couldn't bite through it because it was pressed against the carriage of the van and he couldn't scream to loud because ants would get in his mouth

Overheard the dance and spent most of his day sweating and crying

Was found later that night, still caught in the front left wheel well, covered in rubber residue and oil, with a browing ant covered apple in his mouth

Didn't need medical attention, but admitted that he did piss himself while under there

Got a hug from Kristen, Gorgug took his apple and tossed it, and Fabian tried to be nice to him about Hallariel not noticing him missing until Gilear asked for an honest response, which he answered with "Of course not Gilear, don't be dumb!" to which Riz said "Guys, he's not dumb; he's just pathetic." (Also found out Hallariel ate all his yogurt)

Adaine mended one of the tears in his pants, but then said "I'm not gonna mend your piss pants, here's another pair." and gave him new ones from her jacket followed by a boot cut pair of pants, Chelsea boots, denim vest, chambray embroidered shirt, and a beret. The kids (including Fabian) approved of his new look. His favorite part of the outfit was the beret.

Said he preferred pants with very narrow ankles and a wide front and back carriage to the seat

Fig told him that she loved him and apologized for not realizing where he was

The teens gave him one hot tub to himself

Was given a massage by Sandra Lynn while laying on one of the day beds in one of the public rooms (when she told him that he needed to make it a part of his routine, he responded that he was extremely broke)

Slept in the van that night

Spoke to the wood elves and Nuathura on behalf of the teens (while they slept til 1pm)

Decided to make sandwiches for everyone for their trip and looked a little different than normal, stood up straighter, and was wearing his new outfit

Baxter

Sat on a branch on top of Hollyhill and slept outside

Grabbed Kristen and Tracker in his claws while Fig and Sandra Lynn road on his back to Shrine of Thorns

Van

Left inside fenced in area at Hollyhill (can't cast fly on him)

Hallow extends out 60 feet from him, so the kids camped outside on matresses from the house

Hangman

Was left in charge during the party, but told the kids "No rules."

In the middle of a dramatic speech defending Gorgug, the tinkerers jumped on him (to examine him with their artificers glasses), resulting in him very much wanting to run them over

***

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caledfwlchthat · 5 years

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Characters: John Egbert, Dave Strider, Karkat Vantas Ships: John/Dave/Karkat, John/Dave, Dave/Karkat, John/Karkat Other Tags: Post-Retcon Meteor, Dream Bubbles, Internalized Homophobia, Internalized Xenophobia, Closets, Coming Out, Flushed Romance | Matesprits, Caliginous Romance | Kismesis, Ashen Romance | Auspistice, Pale Romance | Moirallegiance, Troll/Human Sloppy Makeouts, Polyamory Negotiations, Pillow & Blanket Forts, Fat Vriska Jokes, Unreliable Narrator, References to Depression Rating: Not Rated

Hi followers, now that Polyswap reveals are out (a few days ago now), I can fess up to writing this 20 kw JohnDaveKat thing about making out in literal supply closets, that I wrote for @cassandraooc (check out her art and AO3, she’s tops!). Shout-out also to @katreal-fic for her help as a sounding board and general pompoms while I was writing this.

R^4 fans: this was my May/June, I have not forgotten you! But if you like all the dream bubble romance and the awkward poly negotiations Rose and Kanaya have been having about Dave, you might give this one a look too.

Process discussion (as best as I can recall it) under the cut, as with other swap assignments I’ve done, for anyone who’s interested in the (long, spoilery) story of what the hell I was thinking exactly when I wrote this thing.

So my giftee’s prompts were -- by her own admission -- written in a bit of a sleep-deprived haze (I had to laugh as I read them, haven’t we all been there at some point, I know I lost some sleep over mine). We were each required to provide between three and six prompts for polyships (3-6 characters each) that we wanted to see depicted in gift fic or art. Cassandra’s OT3 was JohnDaveKat, which sported a string of elaborate sub-prompts (“medievalstuck!”, “soulmates!”, “haunted house!”, etc.) -- along with an invite to not use any of those and just write whatever I felt like. Other prompts for Dave/Sollux/Karkat, Jane/Callie/Roxy, and Rose/Kanaya/Jade were basically completely open-ended.

I’m trying to remember exactly how I seized upon the idea I ended up executing. Although some of my other works feature polyships, such as Kankatrezi (The Cafe Mocha Caper) and Daverosemary (foreshadowed in R^4), the process of how they got together is important for me in ways that I don’t care about as much for canon ships. I felt some resistance to just picking one of the ships and starting to write it as if it was already established. Also, people who know my writing know that I like to stick close to in-game or post-game AUs, or at least the broader Homestuck setting, rather than non-game AUs or other settings that remove the characters from the context that made them who we recognize them to be. So I was going to need some runway and a satisfying premise to run along it with. But by golly, if Cassandra wanted JohnDaveKat, she was gonna get JohnDaveKat.

The JohnDaveKat prompt I personally found most hilarious and awesome was

John gets turned into a Trickster, and finds Karkat and Dave. In the ensuing candy fueled mess, a lot of pent up emotions and secret crushes get revealed, including Dave realizing and admitting that John was probably his first crush on another boy though he was in denial at the time, and Karkat admitting that his own pitch crush for John never went away. (For his part, John finds out that he might, in fact, be a bit of a homosexual.)

Another JohnDaveKat prompt that turned out to figure in heavily later with the work I ended up producing was

John decides to surprise Dave and Karkat with a visit, only to find them already *quite* busy. Before he can think of what to do or do enough thinking at all to leave, he gets caught, and Dave notices evidence of interest, knows Karkat's still got some pitch feelings, and has some of his own, suggests maybe John stay a bit and they talk over some things and maybe do other stuff later too.

Going with Earth C could also bring the Epilogues material into play, and I briefly toyed with an Epilogues-related scenario that could score multiple polyships at once, before remembering that the Epilogues are hugely polarizing and maybe I want to be double sure about my giftee before giving them such a gift in a fan swap. A combination of Tumblr-stalking, re-reading the prompts and discreet inquiries showed that my idea wasn’t going to work, largely because Ultimate Dirk is a legendary piece of shit and his presence over against End-Of-Act-7 Dirk would cause real friction with Cassandra’s requests -- which leaned fluffy and offered bonus points for “DirkJake” and “Dirk and Dave being good bros who love each other”. Maybe I could have just done something similar in a separate Earth C AU without a lot of the Epilogues baggage, but by that point the specific discarded spin on the idea had so thoroughly colonized my brain that I just had to ease the whole thing carefully onto the shelf. I’d still be keen to write that other fic sometime. Just not for this particular fill.

So, I took a break for a few days before revisiting the prompt and asking what else I could do. When I think of John, Dave, and Karkat together, my mind goes immediately back to the “EVERYBODY STFU, I HATE YOU BOTH ETC” memo, in which Karkat tries to dissuade Dave and John from encouraging Terezi’s and Vriska’s flirtations, respectively. This convo is burned into my head because I’ve VA’ed it -- I draw a lot of inspiration for character dialogue from the time I’ve spent doing goofy voiceovers for them. And there is a lot of grist for the mill here: Karkat alluding to his pitch crush on John, Dave making fun of Karkat for being gay (while not realizing or admitting how he might be projecting), John being totally clueless about whether he’s attracted to Vriska. All of these are compatible with the “pent-up emotions and secret crushes” Cassandra asked for, and favors Dave <3 Karkat <3< John as a baseline.

Now, one of the reasons I love writing dream bubble fic is because I am fundamentally lazy. I can basically use any canon Homestuck pesterlog as a prompt and run with it. So that’s what I did here. In the moment that they realize that it’s a dream, the participants are forced to reckon with the way dream bubbles respond to their innermost thoughts. Deep desires manifest in weird ways; emotional distances contract, go non-Euclidean. Despite this, the association with dreams simultaneously offer a layer of abstraction or remove to Dave and Karkat -- allowing them to access and slake those deep desires without having to take responsibility for it, either with themselves or each other, during waking hours. In that sense, John opening the closet is like walking in on them a second time -- the dream bubble itself is their main outer closet, and they already know the jig is up when John diverts the pesterlog down Memory Lane. This then raises the question of whether they might have wanted John to discover them, deep down? Perhaps John’s convenient remembering is a sort of wish-fulfillment dream summoning.

From there I already sort of had the fic’s contours and decided it would be best written from John’s POV. The other nice thing about the dream bubble setting was that it let John participate even during the meteor journey, when Dave and Karkat must have been messing around trying to reverse-engineer their own sexual preferences. How gay is Dave, and how troubled is he about it at this point in his history? How does he feel about John finding out? Does Karkat somehow have some symmetrical hangups that leave him struggling as much as Dave, or is he just a giant crab? (The literal vs metaphorical closet thing was accidental at first, but once I discovered that I ran hard with it.)

There were still some problems I struggled with, such as how to get John to fall for Karkat pitch-ways when he’s said in canon that he isn’t gay, and when Karkat has said in canon that he’s not pitch for John anymore. The second problem is easily dispatched by pointing out that Karkat isn’t a reliable narrator of his own preferences, by construction. As for the first -- John might be no Casanova, but he loves his friends and is fiercely loyal to them, and he also saves his anger for either really important moments (like his GAME OVER fight with Caliborn) or utterly trivial moments (like Con Air not being as good as he thought). This seemed like a good place for the former. Once that was laid out, the trio coalesced nicely -- Dave and Karkat need John to keep them honest, and John needs Dave and Karkat to keep him anchored. John <> Dave and Dave c3< (John <3< Karkat) were dynamics that just showed up on their own.

The interpretation of the ending is left open, but the other difficulty I left unresolved is the timeline mismatch between pre-retcon and post-retcon, and the question of which John it was exactly that showed up in Dave and Karkat’s shared dream. Pre-retcon Davekat didn’t happen because Dave and Karkat were fighting over Terezi, but post-retcon John died in the explosion of LOWAS and couldn’t live happily ever after having so gloriously enabled post-retcon Davekat. And I wanted them to live happily ever after. The two most obvious interpretations I could think of were (a) the three are all on Earth C and dreaming together of each other -- or, more poignantly, (b) pre-retcon John is starting to integrate some of post-retcon dead!John’s memories. The second possibility leads in the direction of Ultimate John (what would that even be?) so I made sure to place the ending in a time frame that gives the Epilogues a miss -- although the background DirkJake also signals that this is probably an AU that diverges after the ACT 7 victory.

All in all this was really fun to write! There were lots of other great prompts in the collection, but the ones that grabbed me looked like they would spawn more 20-30 kw novellas and I need to get back to my poor neglected serial! I’m looking forward to making my way through the treats that others posted, eventually adding some of my own, and of course going through Cassandra’s other stuff. (Maybe that awesome fantroll Friendsim project will be the next thing to eat my life after this.)

#homestuck #homestuck fanfic #dave strider #karkat vantas #john egbert #johndavekat #metablogulation #pswap 2019 #fic challenge debrief

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skarletterambles · 7 years

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Pirates of the Caribbean 5

I just got back from seeing Dead Men Tell No Tales. I have thoughts. Quite a few of them, actually.

I should preface this review by giving a bit of background on my involvement with this franchise. I saw the first PotC movie in the theater seven times. I saw Dead Man’s Chest three or four times and loved it. I saw At World’s End exactly once, hated it with the passion of a thousand burning suns, and never saw it again.

I was--and am--a hardcore Sparrabeth shipper. The canon status of Willabeth only explains part of my disillusionment with the franchise, however. My biggest problem was how Elizabeth had an amazing character arc over three films, going from a prim-and-proper governor’s daughter to the ass-kicking Pirate King, pursuing her dreams in defiance of society’s expectations, outwitting both the EITC and legendary pirates, leading an armada in battle...and then had it all stripped away at the end of the third movie, where she is left literally barefoot and pregnant to wait for her man to come back. I was--and am--livid. I felt betrayed, both as a fan and a feminist, to see one of my favorite characters do a 180 like that.

So I have very strong feelings about these movies. I’ve tried to get over it in the years since AWE, with limited success. Against my better judgment I did see On Stranger Tides in the theater, and thought it was mediocre. Since Elizabeth wasn’t involved I could just ignore its existence, for the most part.

Then the fifth movie was announced, and Will was going to be in it. I had hoped that maybe, just maybe they could try to rectify some of the mistakes (read: character assassination) of the past.

They didn’t. But they still came up with a pretty good movie. Honestly, I’d even give Dead Men Tell No Tales four stars out of five. I was riveted to the screen for most of it, and it was thrilling to hear the theme music and see the familiar faces. It was exciting and entertaining, the special effects were impressive, and there were some good laughs. Plus, zombie sharks!

Do I have issues with parts of it? Yeah. And I’m going to ramble at length.

**** MAJOR POTC: DEAD MEN TELL NO TALES SPOILERS BELOW ****

Sequel creep is definitely at work, where each installment has to be bigger and zanier than the last. The gags are broader, the willing suspension of disbelief gets even more strained, the stakes are higher, and it becomes almost like a Saturday morning cartoon version of itself.

Thinking back to CotBP, we had to buy into the curse turning Barbossa and his crew into undead, but other than that the world operated on fairly realistic terms. Yes, there was movie logic involved as far as coincidences, travel times, fast wound recovery, and all that, but it still felt more or less like the real world. Stakes got higher with each sequel, until we have whatever the hell that “bank robbery” was in DMTNT.

Don’t get me wrong; it was an enjoyable action sequence, but it felt more like a cartoon than anything that could happen under the laws of physics as they exist in our world. That’s not inherently a bad thing, but the tone was noticeably different compared to the earlier films.

Moving on, I was glad Captain Salazar didn’t have that slurpy, blood-drooling voice through the entire film. When I first heard that in the early trailer I was both grossed out, and concerned that he would be hard to understand. Instead it was just that one scene, and he spoke normally the rest of the time. He was a great villain, from his badass and scary entrance through to his delightfully ironic death. He was genuinely threatening, which was kind of surprising considering the cartoony feel of some of the action scenes. Javier Bardem killed it. Thumbs up to him!

The legend surrounding the trident, and the map to find it, seemed cool until you thought about it for more than two seconds, and then it didn’t really make any sense. Calypso is the Sea Goddess in this universe, so where did Poseidon come in? How can his trident override curses that she put in place? If it could be broken by a single sword blow, how did it stay intact under the sea for (presumably) thousands of years? I mean, sure, maaaaaagic, but...eh.

And why did Will get all barnacley anyway? Elizabeth waited for him, so that part of the curse shouldn’t have kicked in.

And what will happen to the souls of the dead without the Dutchman to ferry them to the afterlife?

And what happened to Bootstrap Bill? Did Will figure out how to free him and let him move on to the afterlife?

And if breaking the trident cancelled all the curses related to the sea, how did Davy Jones appear in the after-credits scene? (Assuming it was him. The gait, crab claw, barnacles, tentacley silhouette and the music box theme all pointed to it being him, anyway.) I could almost buy him coming back to life when the curse was broken, but as a normal human again, not ol’ squidface. The mythology makes no damn sense at all!

This review is coming across pretty negative so far, but I really did enjoy the movie. I thought it was much better than OST, and felt like a return to the original vibe of the series. I thoroughly enjoyed watching (almost) every minute of it, and I left the theater grinning and humming the theme music. As a summer popcorn movie, it’s pretty great. It’s just when the adrenaline wears off and I start thinking and analyzing that I see the issues. And, like I said, I have a long history with this franchise, so overthinking it is what I do.

There were definitely some surprises, although I saw a couple of the twists coming. The instant I realized Carina was Hector’s daughter, I was like, “Well, he’s going to die saving her somehow.” And I was right. It was sad (and that damn monkey gave me more feels than any creepy little primate has a right to), but at the same time I’m delighted at how his character grew into so, so much more than he was originally planned to be. He was supposed to be a one-shot villain in CotBP, but Geoffrey Rush is so damn awesome, and he and Johnny Depp brainstormed a history between their characters, decided his first name was Hector, and one thing led to another and here we are, genuinely mourning him in the fifth movie. It was a worthy sendoff for a memorable character.

One of the themes that got raised over and over in the earlier movies was the idea that it’s possible to be a pirate and a good man. Bootstrap Bill Turner was. Jack is. Was Hector Barbossa a good man? I don’t know if I’d go that far, but he wasn’t 100% evil, either. And he was a lot of fun to watch.

Henry definitely reminded me of Will. He had the same wide-eyed earnestness about him, as well as the tendency to charge into danger because it’s the Right Thing To Do without thinking through the full plan first. Elizabeth’s legacy is a bit harder to see, except in the first two scenes. Keeping a secret stash of pirate memorabilia and legends? Totally Lizzie. Back-talking authority figures? Yep, Lizzie’s genes are in there. And later, in the jail, taking Jack’s ego down a peg by scoffing at his legendary reputation in comparison to the reality of a scruffy, rum-soaked pirate? Also from the Swann side of the family. So I think they did a pretty good job of making Henry his parents’ son.

I just wish we had more information on how he was raised, and where. I always imagined him scampering around Shipwreck Cove and up the rigging of Elizabeth’s ship(s), the mischievous pirate prince. Based on the house Elizabeth is living in at the end, and the fact that he was enlisted in the royal navy, I don’t see that happening in canon now.

When Carina was introduced I had a couple thoughts:

1. “I wonder if she’s related to any existing characters... No, don’t be silly. This isn’t a fanfic. They’re trying to move the franchise forward into the next generation.” (Or not.) 2. I don’t want to like her because no one can ever replace Elizabeth Freaking Swann the Pirate King as the best female character in these movies. And that’s still true, but she definitely grew on me. She had a fairly good balance of “smart woman who can take care of herself and doesn’t need a man to complete her story” and “too perfect to be likable or believable.” I could have done with a costume that didn’t draw quite so much attention to her heaving bosom, but I suppose there’s some vaguely historical style going on.

Honestly, there’s a reason her backstory could have been lifted from a story on Fanfiction.net circa 2004: those kinds of long-lost relative reveals can be a hell of a lot of fun. Especially when you have Jack there to tease “daddy” Hector mercilessly.

I’m glad they didn’t have her be Jack’s daughter, though. That thought crossed my mind, too, and that would have been...not good.

Pity Hector never got to introduce himself to Elizabeth and Will as the father of their potential daughter-in-law. Awwwwwkward! Bwahahaha!

Speaking of the dreaded Willabeth... Jack saw them smooching in his spyglass, made a face, and announced that it was a revolting sight. Same, Jack. Same.

Therein lies my biggest complaint about the movie, and, as I mentioned above, it’s just the latest sprout on a tree of dislike that I’ve been nursing since the ending of At World’s End was leaked. How in the seven hells they thought it was an appropriate, satisfying, logical plot development for Elizabeth Freaking Swann the Pirate King to end up standing around passively on a beach in a frilly dress and a fucking corset, waiting for the menfolk to do the important stuff, I will never, ever understand. It’s a slap in the face of everything her character arc was over the first three movies.

“Sure, little girls, you can have adventures and play pirate for awhile if you want to, but in the end you still have to get married, grow up, conform to society’s beauty standards, put aside those dreams, and take care of your husband and children.” Fuck that with a rusty garden trowel.

And here, when they had the chance to redeem that travesty, when they could have showed a glimpse of her at the helm of her own flagship, or holding court with the other Pirate Lords, or just simply wearing pirate-type clothes and carrying a sword, for the love of all things holy, did they do any of those things? Oh, no. No, they doubled down and had her be so passive that she didn’t even get to speak. (Doesn’t that mean they don’t have to pay Knightley as much?) Literally all she’s there for is to be a reward for Will upon his homecoming, and then sleep with him--on land in a fancy house that could have been in Port Royal, for all we know. Any journey her character had is moot. She’s back to square one, and it makes me want to throw things.

Oops, I was going to keep that rant short, and failed. Oh well, it’s a sore spot, obviously. I have never felt so betrayed by a franchise as I did when they did that to Elizabeth in AWE, and it still stings after all these years.

My ire didn’t even stem from my shipping preferences, although that certainly was salt in the wound. If they couldn’t give us a series of movies with Jack and Lizzie, the best pirates in the world, having amazing adventures while flirting like they did in DMC, at least they could have given us a sort of open ending, where she, Will and Jack all sail in their separate directions, knowing that their paths would cross in the future in any number of entertaining ways. I’m never sure if I should blame the writers, the studio, or the actors, or all of the above, but I would have bought, like, ALL THE TICKETS to see those movies.

But, alas, that’s not what we got. We got OST and DMTNT instead. OST was quite forgettable, but DMTNT packed a pretty good punch and I wouldn’t mind seeing it again. I won’t say it totally redeemed the franchise for me, but it’s got its head above water for the first time since DMC, so that’s progress.

Should you see it? Yeah, I think so. If you enjoyed the precious PotC movies, or just like pirate movies in general, it’s a fun couple hours. Just don’t think too hard about it afterward (like I did.)

#Pirates of the Caribbean #dead men tell no tales #movie review #sparrabeth #anti willabeth

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cloudytreefolk · 5 years

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Making a mock-up book cover

To make my mock-up book cover I repurposed my illustration for Christina Rossetti’s “Goblin Market” created earlier in this unit and returned to my earlier visual elements/visual interpretation of the text.

I began by collecting a random hodgepodge of book cover designs on a pinterest board, contemporary and historic, no specific genre, to begin a research index for future reference and collect inspiration. Three examples I was drawn to all had relatively(or apparently) simple designs, a minimal amount of visual elements and colours. I feel like these designs are really strong in a quiet, non fussy sort of way, with a main visual element illustrating the title very direct and representationally.

To Kill a Mockingbird cover - Jason Booher

Grief is a thing with Feathers cover - Faber and Faber

Emily Dickinson - Envelope Poems

And some random designs I liked -

Original goblin market work

“Apples and quinces, Lemons and oranges, Plump unpeck’d cherries, Melons and raspberries, Bloom-down-cheek’d peaches, Swart-headed mulberries, Wild free-born cranberries, Crab-apples, dewberries, Pine-apples, blackberries, Apricots, strawberries;— All ripe together In summer weather,—”

“Currants and gooseberries, Bright-fire-like barberries, Figs to fill your mouth, Citrons from the South, Sweet to tongue and sound to eye; Come buy, come buy.”

“Laura stretch’d her gleaming neck Like a rush-imbedded swan, Like a lily from the beck, Like a moonlit poplar branch, Like a vessel at the launch When its last restraint is gone.”

“With clasping arms and cautioning lips, With tingling cheeks and finger tips.”

- selected extracts from “Goblin Market” by Christina Rossetti

In my original work based on Goblin Market, I focused on descriptions of the luscious fruit, and descriptions of the characters. It’s a very sensual poem, so I felt the colours and textures were really important. I sought to create a contrast between the elongated, yearning and spare limbs/hands (“Like a moonlit poplar branch, like a vessel at the launch”) a bit pale and cold/flushed (“tingling cheeks and finger tips”) and the super-colourful, shiny bright plump fruit.

Designing the book cover

As detailed above, I was attracted to book cover designs that just two of three colours and used simple shapes in a really strong, graphic way, so I tried using only the hand drawings from my earlier work and title/author text as my design elements to play with. I really liked the designs above that included hand written fonts, it feels more personal, like you’re reading directly from the author’s notes (especially with the Emily Dickinson cover and the To Kill a Mockingbird cover - especially especially with the latter as it’s canonically written by the main character as an account of her childhood). I tried including a piece of the Goblin fruit on one of the rough covers but it reminded me a lot of the cover of “Twilight” by Stephanie Meyer, and although both texts are arguably about dubious relations with supernatural creatures I didn’t want the cover to look like I was trying to shoehorn a new edition of “Goblin Market” into the same genre and audience.

I had some struggles with software limitations, or more accurately my own limitations of understanding the Procreate app. I ended up eyeballing measurements to make my own book cover + spine template which was really not ideal. I need to do some more research into how to use this software so I can work to a more professional-ish standard moving forward.

Two outcomes, evaluation

It was really rewarding to see how the designs came to life when folded up into a physical mock up, I can really see the value of this exercise as a visualisation tool for the final product, and I can definitely see myself making mock-ups again for future projects before getting things (zines, self published short comics, notebook designs?) professionally printed.

This version is my favourite outcome. I love the position and graceful movement of the hands and how they mirror each other around the book, and I feel like the positioning of the author’s name and title works well. I’m not sure about the font - I think it looks good, but it doesn’t really say much about the book contents, genre or period context. It would have been a good idea to find examples of handwriting around the time of the publication of the poetry volume, maybe even Christina Rossetti’s actual handwriting, to base the style off of and give a more historical tone (copperplate?). I think adding some textured skin tone shading to the hand added a lot more interest and physicality, sensuality of the “tingling cheeks and fingertips” in the poem. The hand looks ghostly, which fits with the poem’s narrative of a girl viscerally wasting away after consuming the goblin’s fruit.

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sleepymarmot · 7 years

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I still have about 200 queued posts (bear with me... and sorry followers on mobile), but I want to quickly publish some of my post-binging thoughts before the new episode comes out. (Because I get overwhelmed by other people’s opinions and can’t remember what my own were unless I write them down. It’s easy to recall which parts I simply loved for what they are because other people did too and I can reblog their posts; it’s harder to not forget my own perspective outside of that.)

I didn’t actually expect to post these opinions because I don’t feel comfortable criticizing TAZ the way I tear apart big franchises like ME. But I did write it down, so what the hell. Let’s start with the biggest piece of negativity then. I can't name a favourite arc but I think the last place is Petals to the Metal. The racing sequence was spectacular enough that I didn't mind the pacing that much, but the final episode was really disappointing. A combination of not actually explicitly confirming the pairing in canon (I seriously expected that would be the culmination of the arc) AND Bury Your Gays (yes, I know Griffin dealt with the feedback gracefully, that doesn't fix the actual story though) AND some extreme railroading AND deus ex machina/Power of Love (at least the latter was retconnet as in not retroactive continuity but retroactive context). That actually put me off the show for some time. I think this moment encapsulates my problems with Hurley's writing pretty well. She really comes off as a Mary Sue written by a self-aware male writer who feels the need to put female characters on a pedestal -- certainly not the most objectionable phenomenon, but still makes my eyes roll. I feel the same about Carey and Killian in The Crystal Kingdom and the recurring remarks about "competent women". (I mean, I understand the gameplay reason for that, it's not that I'm asking for super detailed fights between NPCs, but I didn't like the way it sounded in the story.) Thankfully Carey got some development with Magnus, Killian had a good introduction before that glorification thing started cropping up, and their relationship's good obviously; plus, thankfully, Lucretia is completely free from this (she actually might be my fave NPC in terms of writing).

I think my least favourite part of The Suffering Game is the final past bosses battle? It's not just repetitive -- this repetition, needless in this case, devalues the other instances of our heroes facing the past. The first big one was Noelle (great: surprising, touching, important for the overall plot as we now know), then we had the three robots (I was pretty delighted to see Jenkins and Magic Brian again) even it was more about combat than meaningful facing of past mistakes, then the destruction of Phandolin was seen again in The Eleventh Hour, and only a bit later the setting of the first arc will be revisited once more. So even not counting this scene, it was starting to get a bit navel-gazey, and the complete lack of story relevance of that battle diluted things even more. It kind of sounded like running out of ideas -- I'd prefer any other challenge or just a repeat of the random monster generation. (Btw I totally expected to see the crab from Rockport Limited in that lineup. It's kind of special to me because back I went "Ah a floating crab, yeah feel you boys, I hate fighting Praetorians too, at least this thing doesn't shoot lase--" and then it started shooting fire, lol.)

Back to what I wanted to talk about: I have lots of thoughts/feelings about consequences re: the last episodes. The spoilers I've seen gave me so much anxiety! Like I've read that Magnus loses memory so I completely expected him to lose everything. So I spent a lot of time in complete dread, and when I read "Magnus forgets" in the summary my heart dropped, and then it wasn't that bad at all so I thought "that's it?" and felt relieved until the fucking clone tank. At which point I thought "No, this is it" especially because all of the players interpreted it that way. So I was very surprised and relieved that he kept everything, and that Griffin was so kind to him. But that kinda brought me to another problem -- that the new body undid Magnus's sacrifices. He didn't lose a finger or 10 years of life; the only loss was the identity of his nemesis which a) is a sad thing and he might be happier without it -- I would; and b) the boys promised to take care of that. Meanwhile, Taako and especially Merle have to live with their sacrifices. That's unfair. I was pretty thrilled when I realized the sacrifices were For Real, and was feeling real dread and anxiety about them (can't say if in a wholly good way) and I don't like devaluing that. Though of course I'm pretty jazzed that the character who is at the moment my favourite got treated so well. That scene was cathartic as hell! But back to the sacrifices: I'm intrigued by the problem of balance of hurting the character in a way that's good for narrative and/or game balance (yeah the intent of "let's nerf them a bit" was easy to see) but not compromising them as a piece of writing. I didn't give a shit about max health or dexterity penalties, but the story significant things about losing body parts and especially memories sounded brutal and cruel to me. I actually laughed when during one of the commercial breaks Griffin said something like "I hope this isn't causing you too much anxiety" because I was rushing through this arc because of that anxiety! But in the end, as it often happens, the half-misinterpreted spoilers made everything sound worse than it actually was. And I was very glad and relieved to hear Griffin specifically clarify that he's not going to take away important parts of a character.

But despite what I just said, when I started The Suffering Game arc I was actually amazed because it was second arc in a row built around my personal favorite tropes! I really appreciate Doctor Who-ish journey through genres (that doesn't take itself seriously but also has an epic underlying plot. All my fandoms are the same...) Murder on the Rockport Limited also counts in that category. So if I had to pick a favorite, they'd probably be among the candidates? Well I don't know how to count Reunion Tour for that. I really liked The Eleventh Hour, time travel/time loop stories are like my #1 fave. And it's a closed room mystery too (like Rockport Limited). That was the point where I started listening much faster because I needed to learn the truth. (Also, the Lunar Interlude before that arc, with the three separate stories, was freaking revolutionary and started a new level of character development for the show in general.) But I was kind of disappointed by the lack of a Holmes speech-type explanation of everything in the end. Because a big part of enjoyment was the expectation that it'll all click together beautifully in the end -- and some pieces still didn't fit. I'm still not sure if I missed something or that wasn't explained. Why was Isaak, like our heroes and unlike everyone else in the town, aware of the temporal loops and free to act? What was the interaction between Taako's spell and the code word -- did the spell have any effect other than almost drowning everyone, would "Junebug" have worked by itself? I had some more questions I thing, but right when I was going to pause/think/rest, everything was swept away by the freaking Red Robe Magnus cliffhanger, so I continued to run forward internally screaming "Explain! Explain!" like a Dalek, and then that was joined by the aforementioned Suffering Game anxiety. And that's the story how I marathoned the last part of the show three or more times faster than I planned to.

I really loved listening to TTAZZ, both of them, it was really good meta! I think I started to appreciate the show more after the first one. I can see where the fan criticism re: representation is coming from, but I myself also belong to the category of people who can never visualise their own (or anyone's, really) characters and therefore really love the freedom of interpretation. I'm also a bit sad about the commentary on racism in the new one, which, in addition to the comments about the Taco Quest in the first one, made me pretty sure that storyline/running joke is not coming back. I found it really funny back then in the beginning of the show -- more so because I, myself, have no freaking idea what tacos are actually like. I mean, we might have some mexican food places over here, but I've never been to one. And I intentionally didn't look it up after starting the show because it was funnier and kind of immersive this way lol. But they sound pretty committed to non-committance about the enthnicities, and raising the topic in canon again would force the issue, so I think they're just quietly abandoning it. Story-wise, I'd love to hear something like "Taako had invented a dish and named it after himself, but the voidfish baby ate the recipe so he couldn't recreate it until now" because I'm a sucker for justifying jokes and tying them into the main plot/emotional storyline. But in general I'd prefer any option that offends people the least. I was kind of surprised when Justin talked about abandoning Taako's early "dumb" characterisation, because I hadn't actually thought it was "officially" thrown away. I assumed Taako was just really bad at paying attention, and got better at managing that as a part of organic character development. I actually found that kind of relatable, plus "absent-minded professor/wizard" is a classic trope. Also TTAZZ made me wish even harder for the lost awesome adventure of Magnus and Kravitz in the astral plane. And it was already slightly souring my excitement about the totally awesome & touching scene we got instead.

I didn't really get the exposition about the planes in The Crystal Kingdom, and the long explanation in the latest two episodes require more attention than I gave them. Hope today's episode will make things clearer. Some things I hope to hear explained soon:

Why has Merle died more times than Magnus or Taako?

Also, looking forward to the promised explanation of how Gundren can be Merle's blood relative lol

Why was the Chalice so much more self-aware and civil than the other Relics? Is it related to the fact that its creator has some special connection to the (a?) voidfish?

Was Magnus a wizard before? Being a lich, creating a Grand Relic... If so, why doesn't he have magic now?

If Magnus is a lich, can he one day die and stay in the astral plane with Julia like an ordinary human, like he wanted? If not, that's a pretty big and tragic turn of events for him. (Granted, this might be more of a D&D mechanics question...)

(I actually just found a Reddit thread starting with the same question, discussing whether all 7 are really liches or not, so these two points might not be even valid haha)

(I also saw someone theorize that Lup invented the taco recipe -- and damn I really do want to see that now. Imagine trying to figure out something and later realize that it was created by your dead sister who named that thing after you.)

(I was confused about LichBarry’s reveal because I thought at the end of PTTM he was mind-controlling Captain Captain Bane to poison THB. Someone had the same question and another person answered that Barry’s spell was only to make Captain drink the poison, and the murder attempt was on him. I totally didn’t get that. Between this and my question about “Junebug”, either mind-control spells are not very clearly explained in this show, I suck at understanding them, or both.)

(Shit, this list has transformed from future episodes wishlist into reactions to Reddit lol)

Since I was talking about Taako and Lup, here’s another passing thought: remember how Taako immediately wanted to be Like Them when he saw the lich duo? You know, the elven brother and sister?!

Not related to anything, but I just realized I can wear jeans as a stealth fandom reference and it's delightful :D

#the adventure zone #blah blah blah

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instantdeerlover · 4 years

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Where To Eat Outside In Santa Barbara added to Google Docs

Where To Eat Outside In Santa Barbara

Santa Barbara is an extremely difficult place to dislike. After all, it has great culture, excellent wine, and sits on one of the most aesthetically pleasing strips of coastline in California. And that’s to say nothing of all the excellent restaurants there, too. Needless to say, this glorious beach town 90 minutes north of LA is one of the best weekend getaways in Southern California, and right now, we could all use one of those. Here are 20 of our favorite places to eat outside while you’re there.

Featured In The LA Socially Distant Summer Guide Everything you need to enjoy some semblance of summer. THE SPOTS Loquita $ $ $ $ Spanish in Santa Barbara $$$$ 202 State St.

Loquita opened in 2016 and quickly became one of our favorite restaurants in town. Why? The modern tapas menu and outdoor patio setting go toe-to-toe with the best in Santa Barbara. Sure, the price point is higher than more casual spots around the Funk Zone, but if you’re looking for an upscale dinner with great cocktails (that isn’t stuffy at all), Loquita is a place where we’ll always send you. The pulpo and the churros are must-orders.

Jakob Layman Bibi Ji $ $ $ $ Indian in Santa Barbara $$$$ 3330, 734 State St

Bibi Ji isn’t just our favorite Indian restaurant in Santa Barbara, it’s one of our favorites in all of Southern California. And now, they’ve taken advantage of their shaded back patio to assure safe, socially distant outdoor dining. Their current menu is slightly pared down, but whether you order the butter chicken, crispy cauliflower, or fish of the day, know you’re still in for an unforgettable meal.

Santa Barbara Shellfish Co. $ $ $ $ Seafood in Santa Barbara $$$$ 230 Stearns Wharf

Santa Barbara Shellfish Co. was founded on the pier in 1980 as a place for local fishermen to sell their fresh catches. Slowly, they started taking the seafood being sold and turning it into clam chowder, crab cakes, and lobster pasta until it became a full-fledged restaurant. Our recommendation is to bypass their regular menu and go straight for the daily specials instead. Here you’ll be rewarded with the freshest seafood in Santa Barbara, with killer views on their patio to match.

The Lark $ $ $ $ American in Santa Barbara $$$$ 131 Anacapa St.

Smack in the heart of the Funk Zone, this massive, modern restaurant inside a former fish market is the pride and joy of Santa Barbara. If The Lark was in LA, dinner on their beautiful wrap-around patio would be one of the hardest reservations in town, because the food is simply that good. It’s still one of the hardest reservations in Santa Barbara, so go ahead and make a reservation online right now.

Olio-plex $ $ $ $ Pizza , Seafood , Italian in Santa Barbara $$$$ 11 W Victoria St.

This is our completely made-up term for the group of three connected and very delicious concepts - Olio Pizzeria, Olio Crudo Bar, and the more upscale restaurant Olio e Limone. Though Crudo Bar is still currently closed, both the Pizzeria and Olio e Limone are open, with excellent outdoor options going along Victoria St. The food at both is quite good, so it really depends which feels right for your situation. That said, the squid ink calamari at Olio Pizzeria is easily the best calamari we’ve ever had.

Little Dom's Seafood $$$$ 686 Linden Ave.

Just down PCH in Carpinteria, Little Dom’s Seafood is one of the newest restaurants along the coast and sports a big patio that can fit around 40 guests (reservations only). If you’re wondering if this spot has any relation to the Little Dom’s in Los Feliz, it does, but with a menu that leans far heavier on all things marine life. There’s a full seafood bar with everything from raw oysters to live uni to cold smoked salmon, plus big entree items like squid ink malfadine and fish piccata. That said, they also have pizza and their famous rice balls.

Lucky Penny $ $ $ $ Pizza in Santa Barbara $$$$ 127 Anacapa St.

You’re staring at the glorious structure that is The Lark, and suddenly you notice something in the corner of the parking lot that resembles an upscale construction trailer. Welcome to Lucky Penny, The Lark’s casual, all-day sibling that’s a fantastic lunch option when you’re too wine-drunk to walk anywhere else. Most people sitting outside at this order-at-the-counter spot are eating pizza, but don’t ignore the sandwiches either - they’re just as good.

Brophy Bros. $ $ $ $ Seafood in Santa Barbara $$$$ 1559 Spinnaker Dr.

Located in the Santa Barbara equivalent of the “Fisherman’s Village” in Marina del Rey, Brophy Bros. is an all-out tourist magnet. However, it’s a tourist magnet with good food and some of the best views in Santa Barbara. You’re sitting outside on the water, so the move here is obviously seafood, but more specifically, the clam chowder. Yes, it’s 82 degrees out, and no, we don’t care. In fact, we just ordered two more cups.

Jakob Layman Metropulous Fine Foods Merchant $ $ $ $ Greek in Santa Barbara $$$$ 216 E Yanonali St.

If you’re looking for a quick and easy lunch spot in the Funk Zone, head immediately to Metropulos. This family-run Greek market/deli sells a gyro sandwich that will shake you to your core, plus a giant menu filled with other tasty sandwiches, salads, and baked things you’ll put in your bag for later. Just be sure to get there early, because they close at 5pm.

Cuernavaca $ $ $ $ Mexican in Santa Barbara $$$$ 201 W Carrillo St.

This little order-at-the-counter Mexican spot has some of our favorite sopes in the world. Perfectly crisp, yet perfectly doughy, they come in vegetable, chorizo, or chicken tinga. Or, just get all three for $8. Enjoy them all on their new outdoor dining space.

Barbareño $ $ $ $ American in Santa Barbara $$$$ 205 W Canon Perdido St.

Barbareño specializes in Central Coast cuisine, which essentially means good versions of food everyone likes to eat, like burgers, pasta, and BBQ. The space is modern, with a large front patio perfect for a date night that won’t burn a whole through your wallet. Get the tri-tip and and the Baked Californian for dessert.

Sama Sama Kitchen $ $ $ $ Indonesian in Santa Barbara $$$$ 1208 State St.

This bright, modern restaurant downtown is serving the kind of Indonesian-fusion you might not expect to find in a town that believes burritos are meant to be eaten at all three meals of the day. Sama Sama is a tad pricey, but the food is delicious and unlike anything else in Santa Barbara. Their leafy back patio is the perfect space for a casual dinner with a few friends.

Bouchon $ $ $ $ French in Santa Barbara $$$$ 9 W Victoria St.

This upscale French restaurant serves one of the finest meals you can have in Santa Barbara. It’s expensive and you’ll definitely need a reservation, but if you’re in town on a romantic trip of any kind, Bouchon’s meat-and-seafood heavy menu and multiple string-lit patios are exactly what you want.

Corazon Cocina $ $ $ $ Mexican in Santa Barbara $$$$ 38 W Victoria St.

Located inside The Santa Barbara Public Market, Corazon Cocina is a seafood-heavy Mexican food counter that’s an ideal spot to grab a low-key lunch while you’re roaming around downtown. Order any of the seafood tostadas (the yellowtail-and-watermelon-covered Sal De Mar is our go-to), and don’t skip out on the mole chicken taco. The entire market has an expanded patio space going along W. Victoria St.

Santo Mezcal $ $ $ $ Mexican in Santa Barbara $$$$ 119 State St.

Anybody who’s spent more than a boozy Saturday in Santa Barbara knows about Los Agaves on Milpas, a well-established Mexican restaurant. Santo Mezcal is their more upscale spot in the Funk Zone, serving modern Mexican food like massive plates of ceviche (get the halibut and ahi tuna), shrimp covered in creamy mezcal sauce, and an octopus in adobo dish you’ll be thinking about all weekend. They also have excellent cocktails, all of which can be enjoyed on their expanded front patio.

Arigato Sushi $ $ $ $ Japanese , Sushi in Santa Barbara $$$$ 1225 State St.

This tiny sushi spot right on State St. is serving quality raw fish at the high prices you would expect. That said, it’s good enough that you’ll want to eat on their nice front patio anyway. Arigato’s menu is pretty big, but our move is to stick to the nigiri and sashimi sections - you can get a mayo-covered specialty roll anywhere. Also, ordering that jalapeno yellowtail over and over again until you’re full is a move we wholeheartedly approve of.

Zaytoon $$$$ 209 E Canon Perdido St.

Zaytoon is a solid upscale Lebanese restaurant with one of the best patios in all of Santa Barbara. With string lights, foliage everywhere, and big tables with fire pits in the middle, it’s the perfect spot for everything from an anniversary dinner to when you just want to impress the sh*t of someone.

The Nook $ $ $ $ Bar Food in Santa Barbara $$$$ 116 Santa Barbara St.

This takeout food window/beer hall is the best place to drink craft beer in Santa Barbara, with some pretty strong bar food as well. You order your food at Nook (get the lobster mac and cheese), then stroll over to their outdoor patio and proceed to drink your afternoon away with their 19 taps and over 300 different varieties of cans and bottles.

Helena Avenue Bakery $$$$ 131 Anacapa St. c

Tucked in the alley between Figueroa Mountain Brewing Co. and The Lark, Helena Avenue Bakery is home to our favorite baked goods in Santa Barbara and a great spot to get some carbs in your stomach before all the tasting rooms open. They have an extended back patio with six or so tables.

Shalhoob's $$$$ 209 Gray Ave.

Shalhoob’s is a family-run butcher shop/restaurant that’s been in the Funk Zone for over 40 years. While we fully recommend ordering their packaged meats for your at-home feast, their sprawling patio is a great place to hang out, drink some beer, and enjoy SB’s endless sunshine. The patio has its own menu and we love the burger, tri-tip, or fried chicken sandwich.

via The Infatuation Feed https://www.theinfatuation.com/los-angeles/guides/santa-barbara-restaurants-outdoor-dining-patios Nhà hàng Hương Sen chuyên buffet hải sản cao cấp✅ Tổ chức tiệc cưới✅ Hội nghị, hội thảo✅ Tiệc lưu động✅ Sự kiện mang tầm cỡ quốc gia 52 Phố Miếu Đầm, Mễ Trì, Nam Từ Liêm, Hà Nội http://huongsen.vn/ 0904988999 http://huongsen.vn/to-chuc-tiec-hoi-nghi/ https://trello.com/userhuongsen

Created August 19, 2020 at 11:42PM /huong sen View Google Doc Nhà hàng Hương Sen chuyên buffet hải sản cao cấp✅ Tổ chức tiệc cưới✅ Hội nghị, hội thảo✅ Tiệc lưu động✅ Sự kiện mang tầm cỡ quốc gia 52 Phố Miếu Đầm, Mễ Trì, Nam Từ Liêm, Hà Nội http://huongsen.vn/ 0904988999 http://huongsen.vn/to-chuc-tiec-hoi-nghi/ https://drive.google.com/drive/folders/1xa6sRugRZk4MDSyctcqusGYBv1lXYkrF

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