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callofdudes · 1 year

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Hello how are you are you good? May I ask for some headcanons? Please make it longer if possible. A wonderful cook with a female reader. For Ghost Simon and (separately)Konig, please? if you do this can you tag me in the post too please? have a nice day

No I totally didn't lose this in my drafts while trying to come up with stuff. I do hope the length is ok, sorry that it took so long 😓

Y'all are wholesale today! I like it! Thank you for the request @simligul I tried to make it as long as I could so I hope you enjoy.

Female! Cook x The Tall Boys.

(Each tall boy sold separately)

Ghost:

He cannot cook to save his life. He knows how to put honey on bread and that is the extent of his knowledge.

He's gotten used to the MRE's that they're mandated to eat, but the first time you cook him a meal from scratch he falls more than he thought he ever could.

This man straight up either eats MRE's when he's at home or orders skip the dishes constantly to the point where it's kind of unhealthy.

Before you were living together he didn't know you could cook. He'd taken you out to restaurants but hadn't ever witnessed you active in a kitchen before.

So when he does...

You smile when he approached the kitchen, curious of the wonderful smells that are being produced. His nose leads him right to you in your apron with stains all over the cloth.

"What is this?" He asks, admiring the scene from the doorway and the apron you wore.

"What do you think? I'm making food."

He poked his head around and eyed the different ingredients simmering and popping in pans on the stove and his stomach cries out loudly. He looks back at you and you laugh at how he's practically begging you with his eyes. "Get out of my kitchen, I'll call you when it's done!"

He will come back every now and then to check on you (and the food).

When you finally set up the table and call him to eat he is borderline hyper. He sees all the steaming beautiful food and he will devour it all.

You are too good for him. Before he even sits down he will assure you that it looks absolutely delicious.

When he does manage to sit down and starts eating his stomach is beyond grateful. He had gotten so used to eating MRE's that he had genuine forgotten what it was like to eat a real meal. When he gets through the first three thrill bites his stomach grows three times the size. You yourself are a bit surprised by how much he ate. You barely had any leftovers to pack up.

Full of food and warm he'll hug you from behind while your washing the dishes and mutter thanks into your neck.

He'll hang around you for the rest of the evening and gratefully crash next to you in pure bliss.

From the day you first cooked for him forth Ghost longs for the days when he can return from war to your loving arms and a home cooked meal.

After going back to camp he'll occasionally mention that the food there tastes like shit compared to what you can make. This causes Soap to want to come with him on leave just to taste your food.

"I've missed you." He'll hug you close and rest against you for a while before taking off his head and stepping into the living room. Before he can even take his boots off he can smell the thick aroma of food. His stomach praises you loudly, making you giggle.

He takes off all his things and kisses you before going over to the kitchen. Again he will praise you for every bit of food on the table.

If he comes home after you've already packed up for bed, he'll check the fridge for food and there will be a little sticky note on the containers of leftovers. "Hey love. Sorry I couldn't be there to greet you. Tonight's dinner is xyz, have as much as you'd like."

He misses you when he isn't able to come back for the holidays. He loves hanging out with you around Christmas and Thanksgiving. But the food you make is so good around the holidays. He's always surprised by just how much effort you put into meals.

He tries to keep mention of you around base low. While he enjoys talking about you, he doesn't like the constant teasing from the others. But when Johnny starts to hear more about how good a cook you supposedly are, he is on his knees begging to come back to Simon's home with him for the holidays. And Simon was going to refuse, until somehow he didn't.

He thought you were going to be abrasive about all the guests when he showed up at his home with Price, Johnny, and Kyle right behind him, but you welcomed them with open arms.

Ghost smiled when you opened your arms and welcomed Price into your home. How you smiled so kindly and you were genuinely happy they were there.

There was no anger for being intruded on or barging to reach your husband, it was heartwarming to watch how you treated them.

When you'd met everyone and shaken their hands, you greeted Simon who was still taking his coat off. But that didn't matter. You pulled him into a short kiss before urging him toward the couch.

Simon and Price tried to help you with setting up the guest bedroom but you weren't having it.

"You lot must be exhausted. Sit, I'll have supper prepared in an hour." Simon smiled. "You're wonderful." You shoved him down onto the couch. "Rest, hang out with your friends." And you walked off to start preparing the guest room for the three.

You were right to assume they were exhausted. They tore their gear off and settled down on the couches. Finally getting to watch some good TV.

They didn't bother to move for the rest of the evening until you called them to dinner.

"Dinner is served boys!"

Kyle and Johnny were the first ones up and sprinting for the kitchen. Their stomachs empty of anything but the McDonald's they'd had early before their flight out.

Johnny was in heaven when he came in and saw the food. It was enough to feed a small army. He grabbed your hands and shook them roughly. "Oh Mrs. Riley you're an angel." You chuckled and handed him a plate as Simon and Price came in to inspect the food. "Take as much as you'd like, don't worry about leftovers and if I need to make more I can."

"Thank you ma'am." Price served himself.

Once they'd vacated the kitchen Simon gave you another kiss and took what the boys had left. "Do you want any?" He asked.

"Have it darling. You deserve it."

The boys were impressed with your cooking the first time. But when the 25 of December rolled around three days later it was a feast. You were happy to have Simon's friends along with your family for Christmas.

"Any friend of Simon's is a friend of mine. You are always welcome in our home."

Jokingly you get Simon a cookbook for Christmas so he can take it to the base with him. Whenever he gets the chance to go shopping (which is rarely) at least he'll be able to make something comprehendable with the foods.

Simon does eventually ask you to teach him to cook. And you'd thought he'd never ask. You started with basic recipes, something he could remember easily and come back to. A starter. And then you got out of hand. Sauce all over your apron and Simon getting his oil covered fingers all over you.

You taught him to bake as well. Because who else is going to make the 141 cookies? You couldn't keep sending them in boxes every month when mail slots opened up.

Simon enjoys baking more than cooking. He will lick all the utensils. If you're making chocolate cookies he'll lick the spoon/spatula/whisk, whatever you used he'll lick it clean. And you need to constantly supervise him when baking because will 100% eat raw cookie dough without fear of consequences.

"Simon! Don't eat that! You'll get sick!"

"fuck off!" He'll say as he playfully pushes you away and grabs another handful of dough.

If he ever comes across a dish he likes or thinks he'd like, he'll send a picture of it to you. When he goes to Mexico Rodolfo takes care of meals for the group and If Ghost likes something he'll hint you off like, "Hey Y/N, look at this really delicious looking dish... A shame I'll only be able to eat it once. Unless..."

Another thing he enjoys about it, is not just the food. But watching you cook. You have a smile on your face the whole time and you seem in utter bliss to cook for you, him, or anyone else.

And the apron.

Teasingly pulling on the strings from behind you or helping you take it off. It's small but it manages to mesmerize him every time.

If you are part of the military most of this still stands, when you first cool for him and the boys he's stunned and amazed. Maybe he's a little annoyed that you didn't start making food sooner when everyone was bitching and moaning about MRE's.

In the very, very, very rare instances where Simon is sick you're the type to not let him out of bed. Simon is either so sick he's unable to move or he can power through it, there is no difference to you. You'll lay him in bed and bring in a warm bowl of soup. And while Simon protests you'll cup his jaw and help him eat.

"I don't need help-"

"Shh, lay down Simon, let me take care of you."

"I hate how sweet you are."

"I love you too."

König:

König knows a little about cooking, but not a lot. His mother taught him him how to make basic cultural dishes including some sweets.

He enjoys cooking on the occasion but the military doesn't offer him much for culinary adventure. So he's become less fluent. Put him in a kitchen however and he could make you a warm meal from his heart.

When you first cook for him, his mouth is watering. He's absolutely starving when he gets home from base and his surprise when he came to see you and your house was swimming with the smells of culinary love.

He'll slip into the kitchen and eyeball all the stuff that's going on. In a heartbeat he's on his knees for whatever your making.

"Darling- please! I haven't eaten a proper meal in so long!"

"Get out of my Kitchen König, I will call you when it's ready. Just rest."

This man will sit by the corner of your kitchen. He will make sure he's pressed up against the wall but not entering the space. He'll crawl into a ball and whimper to make sure you remember he's sitting there.

"König, it'll only take a couple of minutes." You chuckled when he starts to slowly drag himself back into the kitchen hoping you wouldn't notice.

When you finish up he is giving you the biggest puppy eyes he can. It's as if his irises grew in size, they're practically sparkling when you motion with your finger and he jumps up. "YES! Thank you!"

He grabs a plate and doesn't hold back to shovel food onto his plate and rush to the table to consume it all. There is barely enough for you this big boy took so much.

He's scarfing it down when you take your seat and all you can do is just lovingly stare at him. His eyes are practically glazed over when he tastes it on his tongue.

"Darling, this is absolutely amazing, thank you."

"You're welcome König, you deserve it."

This man goes into a full food comma. When he's out his plate in the dishwasher he goes and passes out on the couch. You find it absolutely adorable.

He's just passed out. Usually when König comes back home it takes him at least a day or two to take the hood off and another couple to full relax. But tired and full it's the first time you've seen him throw his hood on the coffee table and just pass out without a worry.

You're not even complaining.

König and you exchange recipes. While you teach him some of the dishes he doesn't know how to make, he'll show you how to make dishes from his home.

When he gets back he will not shut up about you. He won't tell new recruits or other members unless their already friends, subject of his anxiety. But he loves to talk about you with his small group of friends and his operatives team. You're his shining light.

When he starts digging into military food again his head is just filling with all the ways you could cook this so much better and slop in a tube was just as bad as it was when he first signed up.

He finds himself getting particularly homesick now whenever he eats food that is not cooked by you. He always thinks about the dish and it will relate back to you in some way.

After König teaches you to make his favorite sweets, you make sure to send him a tightly sealed box of them every month for him. (If they can survive over time ofc)

He shares with his team because he wants them to also taste your baking and cooking. He will proudly tell them how wonderful you are and after tasting the sweets they all agree.

König is a little more lenient with his leave time, so he gets to see you somewhat more often then others. When he returns again around Thanksgiving he isn't expecting utterly extravagant meal he finds.

He slouched against the door, tired and gross. He looks up when you come over. Your apron on and your hair up. You gasp when you see him. "I thought you were coming back tomorrow?"

König tiredly shakes his hand and opens his arms for you to rush into. He's sore but he hugs you tightly. You smell of freshly baked goods and spices. He breathes you in deeply and he knows he's home. He sighs and nuzzles his forehead against yours.

"I've got food on the table love, come join whenever you're ready."

"Thank you meine liebe."

When he does join you he takes in all the smells of home. His mind and his body starting to relax just at the hand of the fruits of your labor.

You guide him to the table and get him a plate. The area is well lit when he returns to make him feel comfortable.

The two of you will talk as he eats. And it's not unusual for him to go back for seconds or thirds. Sometimes if he's extra hungry he'll raid the pantry for food.

Crashing in bed after a warm meal is the best feeling. His stomach sated, he wraps his arms around you and feels his worries slip away.

You crawl in bed next to him and snuggle up against him. "Goodnight" and despite his food coma, König pulls you to his chest, content to stay here forever.

When he's on leave he offers to bring Horangi back to stay with you both, just so you can taste the food. He has no plans for his leave except sitting in the kitchen and enjoying whatever warm meal you've set up for him.

Bringing Horangi back then were both incredibly excited about your cooking. König could almost taste it and Horangi had heard many good things.

You were overjoyed to have Horangi over and cooked a feast for the two. Horangi's mouth was watering and all König could say was "Seeeee!"

Both König and Horangi sit by the kitchen entrance, watching you like cats going back and forth, back and forth.

The smell of the food is not lost on them when you bring them into the kitchen finally. Seeing everything you've prepared.

"This looks stunning ma'am, thank you a thousand times for having me." Horangi took your hands and squeezed them, unable to contain his excitement. Or his hunger. His stomach started to snarl before he could finish his expression of gratitude.

You once again stand back and let the men eat what the want. You weren't at all surprised when Horangi had just the appetite that König did.

It was funny watching them talk while they feasted, occasionally melting and having a brain aneurysm over how good it was.

Compared to the food on base, Horangi will now get on his knees and kiss the ground you walk on. You are a fucking angel for taking care of him when he comes over.

He will not stop talking about "König's wife can cook!! And you don't get any of it, because you're not invited! 😏"

König is just glad you're there for his friends, willing to provide hospitality and food. You can't turn down anyone it seems.

But he wouldn't change that about you.

He loves to dance in the kitchen with you. If you're cooking something and you have music in the background, König will come over, hands cupping your waist and drawing you toward him.

"And what are you doing??" You hold a spatula covered in sauce up to him and he licks it happily. "What does it look like??" You pulls you in and twirls you around the kitchen.

"König, watch out for the stove." You giggle.

He keeps turning and spinning you, pressing kisses to your throat and cheeks.

"I love you so much."

"I love you too you big goof."

He smiles, nuzzling against your neck, the smell of the spices imprinting on your skin. They must have. After you've cooked an apple pie you still smell of cinnamon. And it drives him crazy.

König loves you so much, he wouldn't dream his life any other way. And certainly not without you in it. He gives you another kiss and you shove him out of your kitchen.

"Food isn't really yet."

"But looooove-!" He whines.

"No, you'll have to wait. Like a good boy." You smirk.

He huffs, but he can't say no to that. So he plops down and sits longingly at the entrance of the kitchen, watching you as you cook.

#simon ghost riley #call of duty headcanons #ghost x reader #simon ghost riley x reader #konig headcanons #konig x reader #könig headcanons #könig cod #könig x reader

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faeriesinthedell · 11 months

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so i’ve been noticing that people have been reblogging and leaving notes in tags of my post about my mom....so thanks for that..I guess??? I mean I’m glad it’s been cathartic for other people and validating for them, but also it feels really weird for me to thank people for interacting with a post where I talk to myself about my mother and the anxieties and fears and issues that come up in our relationship.

Anyways, I’m glad it’s been cathartic for you all to read, because it was cathartic to write. I might write some more soon, idk. It’s all anonymous but I keep thinking “crap what if she sees it somehow and knows I wrote it and then thinks that I hate her??!!” Long story short, she already thinks that I hate her due to our past arguments and our disagreements. Like I said in my other post, I only fight with her, so......I just don’t want to put the final nail in the coffin and make her think that I hate her 100% or something.

Today I actually upset her again because we were discussing something and I asked what she wanted me to do (because I was helping her and I knew what she wanted done, but I didn’t know HOW she wanted it done) and she told me and then proceeded to explain in detail about how that specific method works and why it’s done, and I made the mistake of not keeping my mouth shut (aka I said “I know. I know how *insert method here* works). I wasn’t trying to be “smart” or start a fight, but it’s just that she ALWAYS tries to “teach” me how or why things are done, and I can’t say or act like I already know about it or else that apparently comes off as me having an attitude. Literally anything I do, she has to “explain” it in detail to me, even about stuff that she knows that I know. I know I should be more patient but it’s just constant and I don’t need a lesson on how to do things that I already know how to do.

For reference, she insisted that my dad show me how to plunge a toilet, because apparently she assume that I don’t know how to do anything that she or my dad hasn’t directly taught me. Also, I’m 21....so I do know how to plunge a toilet and have know for many, many years. In her defense, i guess she’s thinking of it through the lens of “well we haven’t shown her how to do xyz”...which is true, but also I do teach myself things and I do actively try to learn new skills, but I don’t go and tell my parents every 5 seconds “hey, fyi I now know how to do *insert mundane skill here*.”

Anyways, I finished helping her and when I left the room I could hear my parents whispering and I’m pretty sure it was about me. I don’t have proof, but my mom tends to complain to my dad about me, and he later relays the messages to me so that I have a gauge on how my mom is feeling, because she denies her feelings around me and refuses to admit when she’s upset/hurt/etc.

#controlling mother

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hismercytomyjustice · 28 days

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He. Hehe. HehEHE. HEHEHEHE.

I managed to convince my friend to watch Hazbin by subtly she said I was not at all subtle but shhh let me pretend exploiting my 17 years of knowledge of her particular brand of favorite character.

I am so excited because this fucking show has consumed the last week of my life. All because Spotify was like “hey, you love soundtracks, you should listen to this soundtrack.” And by god they were so right. They’re the one algorithm that really gets me. T_T

But I am so fucking excited to talk her ear off about the show. I am trying very hard to not be obnoxious about it but I know I am being VERY obnoxious about it. orz

Also there is so much amazing fanfic and fanart out there for it. I am a major radioapple fan and god what an endless bounty there is.

Alastor is my particular brand of favorite character, so she and I are suffering together. T_T

And now I have a renewed interest to finish this BG3 fic *gently covers my au poto wip’s ears* so I can write Hazbin fic.

I have already been brainstorming a stupid entirely self-indulgent crack fic. I have so many notes. orz

I haven’t lost interest in my BG3 fic. I just hit a major burnout wall in general due to work, so I haven’t spent as much time on it the past week or so which can be dangerous with ADHD and my ability to finish things. The struggle has been so real.

It’s kinda funny. I’ve spent the past few weeks wondering if I was dipping into depression again or something because I have just constantly felt exhausted and have been struggling for even a shred of executive function in literally every single area of my life. My sleep schedule has gone to hell, everyday tasks like tidying the house, feeding myself, showering, etc feel Sisyphean. My OCD has been particularly bad (stress tends to make it flare up). And yet it wasn’t until like last week when my husband said “do you think you might be burnt out from all the work stuff you’ve been dealing with since February” that it even clicked for me.

Like, huh, this all came crashing down on me almost immediately after I massively overworked myself to prove my worth because my prior manager was fucking awful at her job and made my life hell.

cOiNcIdEnCe?!

I have another extra therapy session scheduled for next week because of the burnout at my therapist’s suggestion.

It’s definitely a good thing. The better I get at recognizing the warning signs of impending mental health dips and burnout, the better I can become at mitigating them. I also could use the extra support in crawling my way out of the burnout hole.

It’s still fucking wild to me how completely unaware I was about how OCD is omnipresent in my life even when I’m not in the midst of a full blown catastrophic OCD crisis. I guess this is the point of seeing a specialist for it, lol. It’s just fucking wild the daily spirals I’ve been getting into that didn’t even register.

Stuff like “I need to take a shower. But I can’t take a shower because I need to do xyz. But I can’t do xyz because of abc. Why can’t I just make myself shower? What the fuck is wrong with me? Why am I like this? It’s never going to get any better. I’m a fucking failure. Why can’t I just do this one fucking thing?!”

I mean, ADHD/executive function definitely also play a role but the OCD is just constantly creeping under the surface.

I didn’t realize until recently that it impacted my writing too. I was constantly working myself into OCD spirals over not being good enough, not working hard enough, not having anything worthwhile to contribute, being a bad writer, being inconsistent, etc.

Just spiraling myself into self-loathing and avoidance and all that fun stuff instead of doing something I so greatly enjoy.

And I do this in literally every area of my life. Constantly. Finding out I have ADHD was also extremely helpful in understanding why I struggle with a lot of day-to-day stuff but the OCD is the sneaky bastard pulling all the strings in the background and making everything 10x harder than it needs to be.

I have lost so many years of happiness to undiagnosed OCD and ADHD. I can’t help but wonder how different my life might be if I’d known sooner and started learning how to navigate it all years ago. But at the same time, hitting a wall for both is what got me diagnosed in the first place so… *shrugs*

I guess at least we finally got there even if we wound up taking the scenic route.

#hismercy’s musings #life stuff #mental health #~ooooh i’m mentally ill~#ocd #adhd #hazbin hotel

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unproduciblesmackdown · 2 years

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do we really think like “wow people are too aware of how things could be abuse nowadays” (yes. of course lol that is always a “normal” perspective) and wherein the awareness that Language Can Be Co-Opted is like whoa the danger here is that people are going to be Claiming Abuse anytime they’re treated just Mildly badly / made uncomfortable which like. i hope i don’t have to lay out how already that Logic is like, recognizable and not in a good way. and when markedly the issue with “language to describe abuse can be co-opted” is mostly that people who are abusing someone will use that language to support what they already do in dismissing / directly blame on who they abuse, like how say couple’s / relationship therapy isn’t advised in cases of abuse b/c what might otherwise be conflict mediation that is supposed to treat both parties the same will inherently delegitimize a victim / validate an abuser and provide that new route of carrying out abuse in what’s discussed / what language is learned, and the issue is this inherent conflict in Values when an abuser isn’t bringing actual respect and good faith desire to change to the table, as is true in like, any interactions where they’re supposedly equals but eternally holding double standards

it’s sure easy however to then specifically look at how someone might respond to their abuse, go “that isn’t conducive to a healthy respectful relationship as equals” and then be like wow, kinda fucked up of you, as people do lol. the idea that people are necessarily owed resolution where like yeah ppl will also go “well not if someone’s in an abusive situation” like noting that well ghosting’s okay if it’s for safety, but then yknow, it’s like wow people are pretty toxic for going nc with people, even their own families??? fucked up....and that naturally any Language can be used to convey this same idea that individuals’ reactions to abuse are what’s Really the problem to focus on out here, b/c hey isn’t Structural Abuse / From The State all about people reacting to being harmed / mistreated (no???????? lmfao) like grimacing emoji kiiiiiind of failing to kill the cop in your head if you go nc with someone huh. like is state abandonment / how someone might be treated by police & prisons necessarily Parallel to anything that made a personal relationship end. is it really. why and how.

makes me think of one of my favorite (sarcasm it was least favorite) responses to how you know, every now and again some tweet is again indignantly passed around in that vein of [words people consider childish insults that some people say shouldn’t be used at all due to being ableist] like obviously that’s always some qrt event and like. at least one response was that in going “we shouldn’t use these words” this darn Disability Activism has devolved into Policing Language / Being Cops like is that really what you think policing is. even if you completely disagree with the argument here, you’re really like “wow cop behavior” about it. and that again, Even If You Completely Disagree With The Point Of Such Posts, the kinds of reactions / “counterarguments” being like “well i saw this and i think this is way too much to ask So Now I’m Not Taking Disability Activism Seriously Anymore” like oh i’m sure you were so serious about Just before you saw this post then, right, and that’s so definitely a stance you should ever take even if the [down with abled people] bus is pulling up to the rampless curb. and how to top it all off it’s again like, say, even if you disagree with [this is always harmful to say] about xyz term or phrase, obviously it’s easy to pass around like “this is.....dare i say.....stupid asf XD” but it’s like the Premise is about being more conscious of impact / asking for further basic respect and the way that even with no ableist intent, perhaps ableist harm can be done, is such a thing even Possible? and maybe in considering this, you still don’t accept the specifics of something like a [nobody say these] list, but you know, is the response that everything about the actual premise of it unfounded, and oh btw so carceral of them, and oh btw since this is the only thing that got rt’d onto my timeline i can’t believe this is the only activism you people can muster, and that’s why i don’t care about you i mean why nobody takes you seriously........is it so much of a stretch to agree that the r word as an intended technical term for disabled people, turned into a generally applied childish insult used synonymously like = stupid = gay = [etc], Shouldn’t Be Said, is it unthinkable that anyone could be arguing Ye Olde [r word equivalents in all these ways] words should be treated the same way, is there no awareness abt the ableism in our concept of Intelligence & that maybe thus there’s at least complications re: ableism in people using words that supposedly refer even figuratively to Lack Of Intelligence. nobody’s called me the r word but i’ve had people call me stupid and an idiot in Absolutely the essence and spirit of calling me r worded (and even words like “dense” and “obtuse" absolutely used b/c i’m autistic even if naturally that Fact and that Specific Label weren’t part of the discussion)

oh and that segues perfectly into this other qrt i saw in the very same vein of “i think you’re reacting to a different premise and focusing on the specific superficial question vs the implied experiences and issues at play to be asking it in the first place” situation here where some tweet like “should we never be calling people Weirdos when it’s harmless but unusual social behavior” and the qrt went “oh i have a strong stance about this which is if we take away this Lighter Language then people will only turn to language calling behavior Toxic and Abusive to complain about it instead” when a) there is already nothing stopping people from doing that and people do already infer toxic / destructive / aggressive intent in nd people just existing and saying or doing anything and b) that’s like, a threat lmfao like again regardless of whether you agree or not with whether it’s bad to call people weirdos, what’s an argument going “wellll but if you don’t let people call you weirdo you’re going to get even worse treatment =)” like if you think A Natural Escalation of the same behavior is to call nd people abusive then maybe there’s a fundamental problem with that behavior and that’s exactly what op was getting at. scream

anyways yes anyone can communicate the words “abuse” or “abusive” or “kind of a cop” or etc but that also doesn’t mean they’re meaningless, since that is how all language works, but it’s like, the “normal” “common sense” stance in general is one that blames victims and hates them so like. when discussions of what’s abusive or controlling or carceral or etc become more “mainstream” and inevitably used in ways not literally everyone agrees on, is it like “oh shit we overcorrected” time like ohhh everyone just Wants to be a victim so bad now and everyone’s being treated soooo bad by people who feel hurt by them. like again!!! perhaps think of ways you’ve heard this type of argument / logic before. are we really worrying the scales were so delicately balanced before and now and only now people are validating themselves too damn hard. while when people who are, in fact, in abusive situations, are able to tell themselves “i am being abused,” then suddenly they wield more power than the abuser, so now everyone’s trying to get in on that shit, like how much we love autistic people and now eeeeeverybody wants to self diagnose to be treated so fucking good, how cool it is to be trans so now all these damn kids are trying to be genderqueer for clout, ughh

anyways if there’s No abusive dynamics at play then supposedly yes open communication ought to be an option, which takes two to tango, and if someone’s “crying” abuse rather than communicating about an issue then idk maybe the open communication was not there for one reason or another. thinking of the double empathy problem and you know, an nd person is making every effort to communicate, and probably on others’ terms as well, and they will be at fault for inevitably being misinterpreted, and they will be at fault for likely misinterpreting the other person as well, and they have no greater power than the other party to do anything about it, and they certainly don’t have the social power of getting to be the type of person considered Normal / Default here, and there’s nothing to be done without the other party just happening to change their mind about their own approach, where even with a lack of any malicious intent, someone’s deprived of their communication and likely punished for those efforts. and if you go “ohhh so is being nt abusive now” like a) do you see people saying that b) do you see that happening in person. is that a problem. is “ugh people these days are so sensitive and you have to be so pc and tolerate so many people like fucking r words in the workplace” not already a problem. c) is “what if i was called abusive....that’d feel bad” The Main Problem in this matter? the priority? d) that it’s like “does being autistic Inherently share a lot of things with cptsd or do a ton of autistic people Also experience cptsd b/c being autistic is traumatic” and how that applies to plenty of other identities and experiences. that when trans people are actually supported maybe it’s Not that being trans makes you depressed and anxious and suicidal. e) anyways i don’t really have further conclusion. i personally am like ohhh it Is helpful to think about The State and “how would you interact with a cop” to think of some interpersonal interactions and factors at play like [Fundamentally Different Values that must change for usual approaches to be at all constructive; withdrawing from interaction sure isn’t Conducive to a successful personal connection here but it’s a reaction to the specifics of this situation and it’s about doing what you can actually do on your end to avoid being hurt further, when the person on the other end will do nothing to mitigate it] and [double empathy problem / nt only social style permissible; it will not change, you can only mask through it (harmful to yourself and only partially successful)] and the like like to go out and be in a public situation is risky and potentially harmful and that’s not saying “i am going to call Other People In Public Abusive” and i guess one could go “well yeah good b/c the point is that that would be bad” like fine, what’s the rest of this argument lmfao where tf are you taking this in a way that’d like, challenge anything b/c even with different language [we are becoming too sensitive & defensive] as a concept has Been around. low and no contact children can be easily considered A Villain / the really Abusive ones by their parents & potentially entire extended family and people can discuss whatever public articles about how there’s this scourge of [kids are going no contact nowadays :0 disowning their parents. their Parents i said ;o;] and how that’s bad and so hurtful and unfair to the family, how can anything be reconciled like this, kind of fucked up huh? kind of like putting your parents in gay baby jail / being carceral?? like yeah people who are having an okay time are always raring to cut off their parents over Nothing but lil spats and totally innocuous behavior, we’re giving people too much ammo by talking about abusive treatment, and this Creates people who will wield it against other people to justify their own inappropriate behavior towards them, smh

anyways idk about a conclusion just read it again. like yeah the way that leftist concepts / language can be co-opted / misused it’s like. you can also use the language of “leftist concepts / language can be co-opted / misused” to reinforce very already status quo concepts like “but what if it’s victims’ fault / they always go too far in doing what they gotta do” and “we’re getting a little too sensitive don’t you think. you can’t do anything nowadays w/o someone saying that wasn’t very pc of you” and etc

#i didn't want anyone to simply reblog the ''unknown man died eating library paste'' post lol.............................................#''but you didn't Tag it [do not reblog]'' you might say #sure but if you were looking at the tags anyways then hopefully if Any of it was comprehensible it was there for all intents & purposes #long post ////#someone i'm not on Earnest Conversation Terms with on twitter annoyed me & i muted/unfollowed? reinforce the PIC much...

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seesgood · 3 years

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can we very gently talk about call out posts / culture really quick? not in a judgmental way, but in like a: i just want to pose a thought and explain why i’m never going to buy into it and why i wish it would become less of a trend instead of more of one? and i’ll add the disclaimer here: i totally get not wanting certain people around you for various reasons, that is all your prerogative. that’s your comfort level. but in emphasizing “your blog should be a safe space” we’re kind’ve losing sight of the fact that the rpc should also be a safe space, and as much as your comfort and safety matter, so do other people’s. and not just the person who hurt you, but the third parties and other mutuals and 99.9% of people who are not at all involved in any way in whatever happened. so, anyway here goes, read it or don’t, we all have different opinions or reasons, i just want to be heard:

people are allowed to change. think back to who you were last year. two years ago. think about the stuff you said when you were seventeen, or twenty-one, or hell whatever age you were. current-you would probably cringe at the kind of stuff past-you had to say. because you grew. you learned. you had life experiences. in hindsight you have the freedom to be like “oof yeah that was not the best version of myself right there damn i don’t want to be like that again.” the growing trend of ‘here’s a 10+ page google doc complete with out of context screenshots that sometimes date back to like 2017 or earlier’ makes this kind of change impossible. because right there, you’ve just frozen a person in time, probably not at their best, removed any and all amounts of context, and put it on the internet and let other people judge it for themselves.

so that leads into another point that i want to just kinda present to the community at large: the act of documenting behaviors and storing them for months / years at a time, in itself creates a super unsafe environment, not just for you, your friends, the people who have hurt you --- but also for anyone else that isn’t at all involved in whatever happened. like, for example, i like to think that i’m a pretty nice person. i actively try to be a nice person. am i sometimes not having the best day? have people definitely caught me in bad moments? oh hell yeah. but am i, as someone who tries really hard to be nice and welcoming, constantly thinking through every message i send to someone knowing that a) i could have a reputation that makes them read into context that isn’t there and that could contribute to them misinterpreting words i meant in a different way, b) very aware that every post i make, ask i send, message i send can at any moment be screenshotted and posted and taken out of context and either serve as someone’s only opinion of me or pile on to someone’s existing opinion of me? yeah. so in my experience, and based on people i’ve talked to, we now have this thing where you can be surface-friends wtih a lot of people, but if you want to survive in the tumblr rpc you should really only have 2-3 people that you really trust that you can actually talk about shit with.

and lately i’ve been seeing a resurgence of posts on my dash about like “bring back xyz in the rpc” or “the reason the rpc is like this is because of xyz” and i both agree and disagree with a lot of this, but primarily i think the reason the rpc is Off lately is because everyone and their cousin has a DNI, which is --- again --- your decision and i understand and respect that, but while you know the context of every name on that DNI, other people don’t. and to be honest: other people don’t really care and honestly maybe they shouldn’t care. --- and don’t get me wrong, your friends should care if someone has hurt you. that’s important. but joe billy bob who just wants to write their character with yours is going to read through your rules, they’re going to see “do not interact with me if you follow with or interact with these people you’ve never heard of and if you want me to tell you why just message me” (which no one is ever going to do, i’m sorry to say). and say, joe billy bob also followed that other person because they were like ‘omg this blog looks cool’ --- now joe billy bob, who just wants to write cool plots, is suddenly the middle-man in some type of drama that they do not understand, and maybe they’re able to remove themselves from the situation, but even then it’s still in the back of your mind.

this is getting long. it’ll be longer, but let’s take a brief break for me to remind you that in some cases, it’s definitely good to give your mutuals and friends a heads up when someone has done something really, really bad. like, remember x amount of years ago when some dude was like ‘i’m gonna make up a new person and say they died by suicide as a social experiment’ or ‘hey this person actively tries to force very triggering plots about abuse / rape / incest onto people and has been doing so for years and does not seem to change their ways no matter how many people try to educate them’ that’s shit people should probably know about. and it’s also okay ( in my opinion ) for your friends to be able to message you like ‘hey i saw you’re writing with x and i just wanted to let you know i had this experience with them’ if that’s something they feel comfortable doing. and if they are comfortable with you still having the autonomy to make your own decision regarding the person.

i’ll be honest, for a second: i’ve been part of friendships and groups that have turned really toxic for one reason or another. a handful of times. there are probably people out there that are like “yeah this chick is really fake and manipulative and etc, i was friends with her back in 2019″ which, okay. yeah. i’ve definitely done shit and said shit that was not the most representative of who i want to be and who i want to become, and you probably have to. because we are human beings and we are a product of our social groups and the community around us. and you shouldn’t be chained to a version of you that isn’t you anymore. people change. they grow. you don’t have to like them, but you should respect that sometimes people don’t mesh, and that doesn’t mean any of them are bad people, it just means the experience was bad.

a few additional notes i would like to make but i’ve already gone on way too long:

90% of the callout posts that i’ve seen and the DNI’s that i’ve seen can, in my opinion, be classified as a friend group thing. you were friends with x, x did something, now y and z aren’t friends with x anymore. pain is a very, very real thing and people hurting you should never be minimized, but at some point i just want you to remember that not every friendship is going to end happily, but both you and the other party should be allowed to move on and grow better, healthier friendships after. rehashing Friend Group Gone Wrong instances removes that ability for not only person x, but also person y and z.

you putting out a callout says just as much ( maybe more ) about you than it does about the other person. which sucks. because i’d like to think we all have great intentions, and i’m not saying that you should swallow your pain, but it might not be the kind of thing that impacts the community at large, and maybe you should try to find a better way of working through it with a trusted friend(s)

i’m going to be very real and very blunt on this one: literally no one cares. i say that with love. i’m good friends with people who have each other on their DNI’s. establish a baseline of respect and ‘i’m not going to say anything to them about you and vice versa because there’s no need for me to do so’ and move on. but seriously. no one cares. most outside people read callout posts because they like being in the know about the drama, not because they actually care.

person a and person b who are mentioned in the DNI / callout aren’t the only ones who are going to be affected. your friends, your mutuals, your writing partners are now all put in a weird spot where you have to pick sides on an issue you know nothing about and shouldn’t have to know anything about. you’re asking people to choose sides on an issue they cannot fully understand, and that’s not fair to them or to you. and it drives great people away. and then we all lose out on having more awesome people in the rpc.

you’re entitled to your safe space, but this is a public platform and you are also responsible for maintaining your safe space. you shouldn’t put it entirely on other people to do that for you. you can block, blacklist, make up funny names for, or spitefully erase from your many anything and anyone that you wish. but you shouldn’t make your friends do it for you.

there’s always an inherent power imbalance when any kind of drama occurs between those who have more followers / friends / connections and those who do not. and the smaller blog is always going to suffer a little bit more because they don’t have people blindly coming to their defense.

bad moments, bad experiences, bad decisions DO NOT equal bad people.

allow people to make up their own mind about something or someone

anywho, if you read through this whole thing i think i owe you financial compensation. but also thank you for reading / listening / considering. even if you rolled your eyes through the whole thing like “stfu lia” that’s fine. i’m just presenting an alternative thought. i’d like to once again state: i’m not judging you if you’ve made a callout/DNI or if you’re on a callout/DNI. like i literally don’t care. and frankly, in my opinion, i shouldn’t have to. because i, and you, and your friends, and your mutuals, and your non-mutuals should be allowed the space to make up their own opinion and mind on something or someone without being told that there will be consequences if they don’t agree with you. set boundaries. communicate in healthy ways. you don’t have to forgive the people who have hurt or wronged you, but you also don’t get to decide that their actions make up 100% of who they are as a person, or decide that that is the only side of that person people should get to see.

#ʟᴇᴛ’s ᴛᴀʟᴋ ɢʀᴏᴜɴᴅ ʀᴜʟᴇs ⸺ psa.#/ long post cw.#when i say long i mean LONG #i could do an entire dissertation on this #i could do a ted talk #but ys know #if anyone wanted to do some ahem non-light reading this morning #*jazz hands*#( if you want to reblog this monstrosity you definitely can )

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rjalker · 2 years

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also, no, people, being put on a blocklist in and of itself is not harassment.

People can block you for whatever reason they want.

Lying about you so people will block you? Is harassment.

Being tagged on the fucking blocklist post is harassment.

Being harassed by the people who saw the blocklist post is harassment.

But someone who is not lying saying, “hey, block these people if you don’t want to interact with XYZ” people in and of itself is not harassment, unless you’re also going to say that blocking TERFs and other bigots means people are harassing them.

“Some people lie” does not mean “all people are lying all the time”. Yes, there are callout posts and blocklists that are made by bigots for the purpose of being bigoted. That doesn’t mean that all blocklists and all callout posts are bad and wrong and evil, unless you want to also say that blocking TERFs is bad and wrong and evil.

You don’t get to pick and choose when these rules apply.

Blocklists are not inherently bad just because some people lie. Callout posts are not inherently bad just because some people lie.

Being blocked is not harassment. Being put on a blocklist is not harassment.

Is this “transandrophobia truther blocklist” bad and harassment? Yes, because the person creating it is harassing people by tagging them on the post that is hostile to them. Because the person who is creating it is lying and saying people are transmisogynists just for talking about their own experiences that have nothing to do with transfems.

That’s why this blocklist is bad. Because the person running it is a bigot and a terrible person who is straight up lying. Not because blocklists are always bad and bigoted.

I have a “free blocklist’ tag on my blog. Do you want to know why? Because whenever I come across a TERF, or a transphobe, or a literal fucking Nazi, or any other kind of bigot? I block them. And then I let my followers know who they are and what they did, so that they don’t have to deal with that person’s bigotry first-hand.

Do you know what happens when you block every TERF and bigot you come across? This website immediately becomes a better place, because it’s not actually thousands upon thousands of assholes. It’s just a few that are very loud, and spread their bigotry onto every post and comment section they can find.

If you block one bigot, there will now be literally hundreds of posts that you can now safely enjoy without coming across their bigotry, because their comments are hidden.

I will see people say “oh these notes are full of [insert type of bigot here] and I click and there is nothing. nothing. Because I have already blocked all the bigots in question.

Blocklists are not bad in and of themselves. Callout posts are not bad in and of themselves. Just because someone is lying about you does not mean everyone is lying. I have had several actual smear and harassment campaigns against me on this site with people lying out of their asses about me in the most ridiculous ways, but that doesn’t fucking mean that everyone who calls someone out or creates a blocklist is lying.

If you’ve never come across a blocklist that wasn’t bigoted, that really just tells me that you don’t go out of your way to block bigots. Because, quite literally, 99% of blocklists are created for the sole purpose of blocking TERFs and Nazis and pedophiles. Literally.

Being put on a blocklist is not harassment.

It becomes harassment when the person creating it is lying about you and tagging you so you are forced to interact with them. This blocklist is 100% harassment, and needs to be called out. But this is not how it normally works.

Not all blocklists and callout posts are lies. You guys just apparently don’t spend any time proactively blocking TERFs or other bigots.

#sigh #bold text #transphobia #transandrophobia #so people see this and stop acting like all blocklists are always lies and bad faith and created by bigots #that's not how this works #I'm sorry you're being targeted and harassed but that does not give you the right to pretend #that all blocklists are created by bigots to oppress people #when it is LITERALLY the exact opposite #I have my free blocklist tag specifically to help my followers protect themselves #because if I have people in my inbox sending me gore do you really think I'm the bigot by telling my followers to block them?#so that they never have to be on the receiving end of that?#Do you really think I'm the bigot for telling my followers to block the dozens of TERFs I just wnet through and blocked and reported #for hate speech?#if this is the first time you've everseen a blocklist then yeah. I can understand why you think they'reall like this #but that 's NOT how this works #blocklists are literally created to keep people safe #transandromisia

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teawiththegods · 3 years

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I like your view of Fate, I tend to view it more as if someone wrote down all the decisions you would make in the future. It's free will cause it is the path you would take, just noted down now. The Gods can aid in your path, help smooth it out, offer guidance, aid, or give comfort when they can't do more, but sometimes your choices lead to the results they have.

People's suffering is a result of the world around us, not necessarily Fated for me, but just... The unfortunate things that happen. It's others Fate intersecting with yours.

That's just my thoughts on it though lol, yours are interesting!

I just always found the predetermination of life to be stifling and really unmotivating. That's why I see it as all happening in real-time as opposed to already written down. Even if the outcome is essentially the same I think humans do better overall when they feel like they have control or are being rewarded for their accomplishments and victories. Like why am I working so hard if its already written in ink that xyz will happen, you know? Its a mentality thing i think. But hey if it works for you then do your thing!

I can't bring myself to apply any thoughts about Fate to the global level. It personally feels wrong to me and like I'm acting above my station as a humble little human just doing my best lol! Like who I am to dictate how people's lives are structured? So thats why I just keep it at the personal level where it can do no harm and invade no ones boundaries or spaces.

But I do think the idea of Fates intersecting is a neat concept. Does bring into question how the spiderweb of Fates within the world interact and impact one another, but I'm not willing to dive into that ocean despite feeling Apollo's little wolf ears perking up. NO PHILOSOPHICAL DEBATES ABOUT FATE TODAY, APOLLO!! I HAVE TO GO TO WORK!

#fate #discussion

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matsufucker · 4 years

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Uhh, Sorry for the boring ask,so-- First Date with matsunos?

NON NON my sweet anon, the first request was a delight to answer, I had a lot of fun looking up playlists and seeing what would fit the matsubros! I apologize for being a lame square that is too shy to sing lol. I may or may not be trying to develop an Oso playlist as we speak. :3c

I got a bit carried away, these were supposed to be a list of headcanons but it’s a weird bullet list scenario.

I also gave all of the matsus their own phone, I don’t want to write six adults sharing one cell phone or a landline. Q Q

Osomatsu: spur of the moment and casual.

Osomatsu liked to ask you to hang out occasionally, they were mostly casual. Sharing a meal, exploring the town, watching him lose money gambling, maybe try your hand at pachinko, pretty normal things. So it wasn’t unexpected when he shot you a message to hang out in the evening.

“hey i won at the races! do u wanna eat at chibitas? ill pay for my own food” How charming.

After some light drinking (he could only afford two beers), the two of you were walking a bit before parting ways.

You walked by a small movie theater. It had faded out posters of old movies, it was probably family run or a small local theater. Osomatsu stopped and pointed at the Jackass poster.

“Oi, Y/N!! I saw some clips of this, it looks hilarious! We should watch it!”

You declined, it was getting late and you had to go to work early tomorrow. But you offered to watch a movie (Jackass or some other movie that they’re showing!) after your shift. Osomatsu’s eyes lit up.

“Yeah! Just let me know when you’re off! It’s a date!”

You had to try to not laugh. Of course Osomatsu would want to watch Jackass as a date, the least romantic movie ever. He smiled his classic grin as he watched you try to contain your laughter. “What? I’m serious!” he pouts.

You were surprised when Osomatsu showed up to the movie dressed differently. Instead wearing one of his well-worn hoodies and loose jeans, he was wearing an unbuttoned maroon shirt over a plain white tee with black jeans. He really was serious about this being a date, huh?

“I haven’t seen this outfit before!” you tease, causing Osomatsu to “eheh” sheepishly and rub his nose. He’ll reply with “I wanted to look nice for our first date!”

He’ll?? Actually pay for both of your tickets? No snacks though.

He won’t shut up during the previews! He babbles and comments on everything, good thing that it wasn’t busy and that the only other people there shushed him gently. He’ll whisper commentary throughout the movie unless you tell him to shut up.

Will 100% bump his hand against yours and side eye you with a big grin. His hand fumbles a bit before properly lacing his fingers with yours and giving an experimental squeeze. His hands are warm and softer than you expected. The backs of his hands are a bit dry, but otherwise the only notable thing is the slight clamminess of his palms. If you look at his face, his eyes are glued to the sight of you holding his hand and his smile looks like it could split his face in half.

If you lean your head against his shoulder, he’ll freeze up and accidentally grip your hand too hard. If you interpret this as a bad reaction, he’ll hurriedly say “nonono” and place your head back against him and tell you that it was really nice.

Surprisingly keeps his hands mostly to himself, the most he’ll go is wrapping a hand around your shoulder and giving rubs that are a bit too friendly.

You two walk out of the movie with Osomatsu’s arm draped around your shoulder and wanting to just touch you, you have to remind him that walking on top of you and feeling you up is not practical, especially in public. He’ll pout and say that “but you smell so nice!! And you feel so comfy!!” but he’ll relax and be content to walk hand in hand.

The two of you stop by a cheap place to grab some ice cream (if you pay) and talk about the movie and future plans? :3c

Karamatsu: dramatic king.

“Are you free tonight, starlight? ✨ Meet me at the bridge at sunset.” You smiled at the message, you were already used to his cheesy terms of endearment, and they actually made your heart thump a bit if they weren’t too ridiculous. You reply yes, appreciating that he remembered that you had a few days off work. He was always thoughtful and asked you when your free days were.

You go to the bridge a bit early, the sun was still over the horizon and bleeding gorgeous shades of orange and rose into the sky. You notice Karamatsu wearing his classic leather jacket and jeans pacing around. He was muttering to himself, waving grand gestures, and shaking his head nervously. You call his name and catch his attention. He squacks a high note before clearing his throat and turning dramatically towards you.

“Ah, so you’ve arrived, my turtledove!” he flicks a finger through his hair and smirks. Mostly unphased by his theatrics, you waved and greeted him, apologizing for startling him.

He whips out a bouquet of red roses and kneels at your feet. People are stopping and staring. You sweat a bit, feeling everyone’s eyes burn into you.

“Karamatsu,” you whisper, “what’s happening?” You tried to sound gentle, you could tell that he went through a lot of effort, but feeling onlookers watch you was making your skin crawl.

“Y/N, my muse, the fire within my heart, I was wondering if you would join me on a da-“ He stops midflourish, noticing your uncomfortable glances at the people, before realizing that he was making a huge scene. He quickly stands up to bashfully escort you to a less crowded bench. He’s fidgeting and focused on the bouquet, are his eyes watering? Oh no.

He’s trying to hold back tears at putting you in an uncomfortable situation and it takes a bit of backrubbing and “it’s okay” before he calms down. He hides his red rimmed eyes under sunglasses. You gently ask why he asked you to come here.

Karamatsu “hmphs!” weakly flourishes the roses once more. “I wanted to see if this lovely deity would join me for a moonlit picnic by the river!” His words carry far more conviction than the roses, they were trembling softly in his grasp. You accept the roses, they’re gorgeous and look freshly picked. Either Karamatsu paid a pretty penny for these or some poor gardener is missing a dozen roses.

He leads you to a quiet spot under a tree where a picnic basket awaits. He smiles and holds his hand out for you to hold. His grip trembles a bit before gripping your hand securely. He makes sure to check if the blanket is clean before guiding you to sit down.

There are containers of star-shaped rice balls, tamagoyaki, kaarage, and strawberries in the basket, along with store bought bottles of tea. You’re amazed at the whole spread, as far as you know, Karamatsu is a mediocre cook. The rolled eggs looked a bit misshapen and some corners of the chicken were nearing burnt, but it all looked wonderful. You ask if he went through the trouble of making all of this.

“Heh, of course, I would do anything to make my Karamatsu darling smile,” you can’t help but giggle softly at his horrid lines. Your sweet laugh only seems to egg him on, for his eyes glimmer and the corners of his lips rise even higher. “Of course, to achieve this, I couldn’t have done it without a bit of assistance from my dearest mother,” he admits, rubbing the back of his neck. You can already envision Karamatsu

It’s wonderful. The sky is clear, so you get a full view of the twinkling stars and the soft glow of the moon. Karamatsu asks you about your day and you two get lost in conversation.

As conversation slows, he’ll wistfully look at the stars and say another one of his dumb rehearsed lines. “The stars are beautiful tonight… but they are just grains of sand next to you.” He’ll then get a bit bashful and say that he really enjoyed tonight and was wondering if you’d like to hang out some other time?

Choromatsu: a coffee date! But oh dear he’s a fish out of water.

He briefly considers buying two tickets to a concert, but quickly dismisses it because he too embarrassed to show you how passionate he gets over idols.

He really wants to ask you in person but he would actually break trying to get the words out so he texts you a simple “Do you want to grab a coffee at XYZ café?”

You arrive at the café and spot Choromatsu sitting at a table, flipping through a book. He’s wearing a white button up, a brown sweater, and olive trousers. When you greet him, he practically jumps out of his chair.

“H-Hello!” he squeaks, bowing his head abruptly. He looks shyly at you and breathlessly mumbles “You look nice…” He freezes up and backpedals severely, sputtering “Ni-nice, nice… this is a nice café! Have you tried their, ah, americano?” His face is stretched into a tense smile.

“Thank you! You look nice too, I haven’t seen you wear this sweater before, it suits you well!” you return the compliment and Choromatsu turns cherry red. He turns away to look at his sweater and thanks you quietly.

The two of you go to order drinks, Choromatsu buys a black americano and is kind enough to buy your drink as well.

When you settle down at a table with your drinks, you notice that Choro’s nerves have calmed down a lot, he’s no longer stuttering every word and is fidgeting a lot less.

“So, what were you reading before I got here?” you ask, recalling that it was a pretty thick novel. He perks up at your question and pulls his messenger bag out to retrieve said book.

“Ah, you see, I was reading a book about managing businesses! I’ve been looking into business management and thought that readin-“ A familiar manga tumbles onto the table and it’s swiped away quickly.

“Oh,” you interrupt him before he can start spewing out an apology or excuse, “do you like that series?” Choromatsu pauses and looks at you with an incredulous look before nodding. “Really? That’s one of my favorite mangas!” you cheer, and you can practically see his prim illusion melt before your eyes.

“Really?” he asks, and you notice a slight spark in his eyes. Bingo. You nod, eager to get to see his nerdy side. He always tried so hard to look like a proper adult, and it was a shame that he was stifling his interests. You decide to try to stoke that spark and lean in closer. “Yeah, I read it a few months ago, I didn’t think that you’d be into it! How far have you gotten, do you like it?”

He has the cutest glow in his eyes as he chatters about the series and you’re thankful for the manga slipping out of his bag, it served as a wonderful social lubricant. By the time your cup was empty, you had gotten to learn more about Choromatsu. He seemed embarrassed by his interests, but every time you reassured him that it’s fine to have passions his body relaxed a bit more. He took the time to attentively ask you questions too and overall you felt really good about this little date.

“Would you like to walk around a bit? I think there’s a bookstore nearby.” Choromatsu tentatively suggested, swirling the last dredges of his coffee around in his cup. You agree, so the two of you walked a block to the store.

His hand would occasionally sway by yours, but he would honestly be too timid to hold your hand on the first date. If you try to hold his hand, he’ll probably flinch and be rigid for a second, before relaxing.

He buys you a small piece of merch related to the manga you bonded over and the two of you part after confirming that it was a fun date!

As you leave, you hear Choromatsu hop from foot to foot and cheer to himself!

Ichimatsu: unofficial date

Hanging out with Ichimatsu was a bit uncommon. If you asked him what he was up to, he would tell you where he was in town. It took a while before you picked up that these were soft invites to join him.

One time you joined him at the park. He was sitting on the swings and lazily turned his head to watch you as you approached him.

“Sorry, I already fed the cats,” he mumbled, standing up. He smoothed out a few wrinkles on his DAT sweater. “You didn’t have anything better to do today?”

“I like hanging out with you.” Your simple reply made Ichimatsu stuff his hands into his pockets and start walking. You follow along, taking note of how cute his ears looked red.

He pauses by a cat café and you see his glimmering eyes linger on the cats snoozing by the window. He crouches and waves his hand near a fat grey cat.

“Do you want to check it out?” you ask, and Ichimatsu shakes his head slowly. “I didn’t bring money.” he murmurs, smiling as the cat’s eyes started to follow his hand.

“I can spot you!” you offer, making Ichimatsu freeze in thought. “I’d like to relax with some cats with you.” you add, hoping that’ll make Ichimatsu feel less bad about having you pay for him. He stands up and stares at your shoes.

“Sure, if you want to…” he mumbles, nervously putting his hands into his pockets again. “Thanks.”

The entrance fee of 900 yen included a drink, Ichimatsu chose to get a juice.

You settled down by a table near a cat tower and after setting his juice on the table, he sat on the floor to offer a hand to a cat.

It doesn’t take long before a calico cat is happily purring on his lap. Ichimatsu looks like he might start purring anytime soon, with how relaxed he looked scratching the cat’s ear. You don’t have as much luck as Ichimatsu with cat taming, but a fat orange cat settles next to you on the booth. It looks at you expectantly and you give it a few scritches on its cheeks.

You sip your drink and “mm!” out of surprise. Wow, it tasted really good! You notice that Ichimatsu’s drink was untouched and stand up to give it to him so he wouldn’t have to disturb the sweet calico. He thanks you and sips his orange colored juice as you take a seat on the floor with him. His sleepy eyes widen slightly and he nods approvingly.

“Did you want to try my drink?” you tilt your cup towards him and he nearly drops his juice. You weren’t expecting a reaction like that and tried to verbally backpedal “Oh, you don’t have to, you know, with germs and all-”

He grabs your wrist and tugs the drink down until the straw met his lips. He took a strained sip, he honestly looked a bit constipated for how scrunched and pink his face was for sipping a drink.

“It’s good,” he exhales. He realizes his grip on your wrist and lets go immediately, before holding out his juice. “Did you want to try? You bought it and all.” You nod and have to resist grinning at how adorable Ichimatsu looked right now, his eyes were burning holes through the ground and his cheeks were dusted pink. It looked like he was trying his best to scowl but the corners of his lips gave away the hint of a smile.

You decide to mimic Ichimatsu and gently grab his wrist to pull his cup towards you. Bright, sweet notes of mango and peach grace your mouth and, wow, he picked a good drink. You let go of his wrist and his hand stays frozen there before he brings his cup back to drink his juice again.

Cats swarm Ichimatsu and he manages to enrapture all of them effortlessly. Cats are piled at his feet and purring. They seem oblivious that you even exist and you pout a bit at being ignored. Ichimatsu notices your slight pout and he offers a hand to you without thinking. When you place your hand into his dry palms, he only then seems to realize what he just did with a tense look on his face.

He soldiers on and places his hand on the back of yours, guiding you to pet the same grey cat you encountered at the display window.

You spend a few hours just enjoying the cats and Ichimatsu’s company. When your legs start to get pins and needles from sitting on the floor too long, you notice that the café is starting to get a bit busy so the both of you decide to leave.

You notice that Ichimatsu is walking a bit closer to you than usual. His hands are stuffed in his pockets like usual, but his shoulder brushes against yours every few steps.

It’s never clarified that this was a date but Ichimatsu parts ways with a “see you later” and a soft smile.

Jyushimatsu: a fun hangout that becomes a date!

You and Jyushimatsu were walking home after a long day of fun. It was impossible to have a dull moment with him around, today consisted of various activities at the park. Volleyball, pitching baseballs, going on a small hike, Jyushimatsu finding a five leaf clover, getting chased by geese, Jyushimatsu was quick on his feet and scooped you away from the vicious birds.

You waved at Jyushimatsu as you reached where you had to part. He smiled his classic big smile and waved enthusiastically with both hands before leaving.

Not even 10 seconds later you hear him yell “Y/N!” and his sneakers slapping against the pavement. He’s slightly out of breath as he holds a flier out in front of you.

It was an advertisement for a travelling carnival that was visiting town this weekend! Jyushimatsu bounces excitedly and asks if you wanted to check it out, it wasn’t everyday that a carnival showed up! Luckily you were free so you agree to meet him at the carnival in the afternoon on Saturday.

It’s hard to miss him, you spot a bouncing ball of yellow near the entrance. Jyushimatsu’s wearing a simple outfit, an loose white shirt that’s roughly tucked into brown shorts with an oversized yellow plaid shirt. He’s rocking on the balls of his feet and when he spots you, he waves so hard you can almost hear his sleeves flapping.

“Come on, come on, let’s go!” Jyushimatsu cheers, already pointing out rides he wanted to go on. There was a rollercoaster, how does a moving carnival carry a whole rollercoaster? And a Ferris wheel? There was so much to check out!

The tickets are pretty cheap, but you notice a couple’s discount while waiting in line. When you two are next in line, Jyushimatsu suddenly stops talking and you see that he’s frozen in place. He still has his smile, but his eyes were frozen on the discount.

The employee’s tired “next in line, please,” snapped Jyushimatsu out of his trance and he jumped to the counter to buy two tickets. The teenage boy behind the register eyed you and Jyushimatsu before applying the discount.

Before you can thank him for paying, Jyushimatsu’s clothed hand pulled your hand along to join the line for bumpercarts.

After trying various rides, you decide to take a breather and just look around the various mini games and merchandise. A fat stuffed Pikachu catches your eye, and Jyushimatsu practically hurdles over the poor person managing the ring toss game to play a round.

He throws the rings way too hard but somehow three of the ten ricochet onto the bottles. He picks out a small prize and pouts that he wasn’t able to get you the Pikachu, but he got you a keychain of plush duck from Spirited Away!

The night settles over you and you decide to hit the Ferris wheel before calling it a night. Jyushimatsu bounces slightly in his seat, making the cabin shake slightly. He stops if you look nervous.

Curiosity gets the best of you and when the wheel is nearing the end of its rotation, you ask if this was a date. Jyushimatsu “ahs” in surprise and looks out the window.

“I don’t know,” he states, finally turning his head to look at you. His mouth was shut in a rare closed mouth smile, and he fiddles with the hem of his shirt.

You realize that the ride wasn’t over as it started to go for another rotation.

“I…” Jyushimatsu trails off, and his lips were pulled into a tense line. His eyes were steely as stared at his hands, gripping fistfuls of his sleeve. “Is it okay if this is a date? Do you want this to be a date?” He lifted his eyes up to meet yours, and there’s a glimmer of vulnerability in those sweet brown eyes. Your body reacts before words can leave your mouth, you feel your head shake up and down before a “yes” tumbles out. Jyushimatsu’s back straightens up like a spring and his face splits into one of his classic smiles.

“Really?” he cries, and when you reassure him he yells a “hurray” and dives into your arms. The cart rocks violently, causing you to almost fold over Jyushimatsu. You laugh as you untangle yourself from each other. He looked so pretty with his long eyelashes and contagious smile.

The two of you exit the carnival with Jyushimatsu leading the way, almost vibrating in joy as he swings your hand the entire walk back.

Todomatsu: a cute date, with a side of the youngest brother curse.

One day after a shift, you and a few of your coworkers decided to hit up a local hot pot spot! A few random people that knew your coworkers showed up, Todomatsu was among one of them. He sat across from you and introduced himself as Totty.

He seemed really sweet and socially thrived! But as the large group broke into a collection of smaller conversations, Totty seemed to take a special interest in you. He was super engaged in convo, asking questions about your interests. He apparently met your mutual acquaintance at his old job as a barista, and he was taking some time to himself before job hunting again.

After dinner, Todomatsu asks if you’d want to exchange contact? You agree, there didn’t seem to be any red flags with him! You shoot a few messages back and forth and it’s exciting getting to know a new person.

“hey, check out this cute café that opened recently!!” he messages a few days later, and after discussing a few details you finally have plans for a date.

He shows up to the date as you arrive, wearing a white shirt with thin navy stripes, a large blush sweater, and cropped brown pants. He asks if you were waiting long and is relieved when you said that you got here.

Todomatsu buys a strawberry milk tea boba and offers to buy yours. You settle down by a table by the window and he asks you how you’ve been the past few days.

As you start to talk, you notice his round attentive eyes start to drift to the window. His brows furrowed in confusion, and you stop talking.

“Totty? What’s up?” you ask, starting to turn your head to the window. You see nothing out of the usual, just a normal street with a few shops and pedestrians.

“Ah, it’s nothing! I just saw something in that store that looked really cute!” he titters, and you can’t help but notice a strain in his voice. Slightly confused, you smile and sip on your drink.

“Did you want to check it out?” you suggest, and Totty agrees very eagerly. It’s a cute trinket store, they have things like stationary, phone cases, plush animals, and jewelry.

You find a cute rabbit with a sweet smile and rosy cheeks that reminds you of Totty! You mention it to him and he giggles, cheeks turning a bit red. You continue to browse around for a bit until Totty taps you on the shoulder and gives you a small bag. Inside is a small phone charm that has the same rabbit you pointed out earlier. “So you can think of me whenever you see it!” he winks.

When you exit the store together, you hear Totty yelp. You turn to see him getting grabbed by five men that look like him. They’re frozen, with Todomatsu flailing in their grasp. They blink a few times before dropping Totty on the ground. They all smile and talk animatedly over each other, ignoring the person on the pavement.

“Uh, Totty,” you unsteadily start, unsure of how to handle this situation. How do you handle this, what the hell? You crouch a bit to help Todomatsu up, he looks like he wants the ground to swallow him up whole. “Do you know these people?”

“Ah, yes, these are…” he glances lifelessly behind him. “…my brothers.”

“His older brothers!” the one in red shouts, posing triumphantly. “We’re identical sextuplets!” he lilts offkey. You sympathetically look at Totty, his face is downcast and his eyes are shining.

“Oh, wow, sextuplets! I didn’t think I’d be meeting your family so soon,” you try to lighten the mood, and Todomatsu tries to smile but he still looks mortified. “Do you want to leave?” you whisper. His eyes practically scream yes.

You wrap your arm around Totty’s, which causes his brothers to gasp and glare at him?? The hell’s wrong wit them?

“It was nice to meet you guys, but we’re on a date!” you smile before heading off. You feel Todomatsu squeeze your arm closer to his body and whisper “thank you.”

You stop by the swings a park and Todomatsu guiltily confesses that he’s a sextuplet?

You reassure him that it’s fine, it’s interesting, but who cares? As long as his brothers being unexpected guests isn’t a normal thing, it wasn’t too relevant. He seems relieved and apologizes, this won’t happen again.

You end up just talking, swaying on the swingset. He seems more genuine now, almost like revealing his family life was a huge weight off his shoulders.

He apologizes again for his brothers and offers to make it up to you next time!

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tea-and-spoons · 3 years

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All About Accommodations 2: Working with (or without) disability services

While writing my first post about accommodations, I realized that I had enough information about actually working with the office of disability services to make an entire second post- so I did! My original post about the basics of accommodations is over here: All About Accommodations

So hopefully your school’s office of disability services is fantastic and supportive and wonderful, and they happily meet all of your needs! But in a lot of cases, it’s a little more complicated than that (I really don’t know why) so this post will be about things that can help.

I was super nervous and confused about disability support services when I first got sick, so one of my older friends took me to visit the office, just to meet the staff and learn about what they do. It was nice to get to know the staff a little before I had to get into all the personal details of my health, and just get a feel for what goes on there. Many places will have open office hours when you can just drop by and ask general questions too.

To start the process of registering for accommodation, there may be a form you fill out online, or you might just have to send an email. Or go to the actual office to say, “Hi I want to register for accommodations, what’s my next step?” Setting up accommodations is a process, so you’ll probably have at least one meeting with the people who work in this office to discuss possible accommodations. At the meeting, they’ll ask you lots of questions about how your disability affects you, and talk about what accommodations are available. They’ll also probably ask you about your classes to understand what you might need there. I try to do something relaxing and confidence boosting (like listening to music!) before my meetings. And not scheduling something directly after, so I have time to decompress. For the meeting itself, I find it helps to write and bring a list of possible accommodations and things to discuss- it helps keep me from getting too upset and then either forgetting or backing down. Remember, you have a legal right to reasonable accommodations, and you deserve to thrive in college!

You’ll also almost definitely need to submit some documentation (like a letter or test result) from a medical professional. Which is really not fair for a variety of reasons, but that’s how it is right now:/ There might be specific guidelines for what your school needs for documentation, but generally if it says, “Lovely reader of this blog has xyz condition and requires these accommodations. Signed, Medical Professional”, it should work.

Unfortunately, not all accommodations offices are as wonderful and supportive as they should be, so you and/or the person providing your documentation may need to do some persuading. This could mean having more detailed documentation, arranging a phone call between a supportive medical professional and the disability services office, or just being extremely persistent. I did once get my mom to make an “angry parent phone call” as a last resort, and it worked, but I think your school will probably be grumpy if you go right to that.

So what happens if the official office of disability services totally fails you and denies your accommodations? Don’t panic, you still have more options.

I haven’t personally done this, but I know you can file a formal grievance with your college and try to get the accommodations decision changed. You can also meet with your dean, who is higher up in the chain of command than disability services and may be able to help you.

If all else fails, you may have better luck working out informal accommodations with individual professors. But also, having official accommodations from the college means that even the worst of professors have to comply with them. So fingers crossed that you don’t find yourself in either of those situations. But I really did have a lot of success talking to professors individually. Even when disability services is already semi-cooperative, good professors will sometimes go above and beyond to make sure you’re included, and that’s pretty cool. I’m fairly certain your professors aren’t allowed to ask questions about your disability if you don’t want them to, but I would recommend disclosing a little, because having a better understanding helps professors help you.

You can also talk to your classmates and see if they might be willing to help out. For example, even if you were denied a formal note taker, someone might still be willing to photocopy their notes for you. Or like for me, I have food allergies and needed classmates to be careful, so when the college said no to formal rules, I emailed all my classmates myself and said, “Hey I want to be safe in class, can you avoid bringing peanut butter?” and they were happy to listen. Of course you still shouldn’t have to share anything you don’t want to, but I did find that accommodations that relied on other people went better when they knew who I was. I think they would see me and remember they needed to be careful, instead of it being an abstract rule, and it helps a lot.

My favorite type of informal accommodations is what my friends and I call “guerilla accommodations”. None of the adults were willing to help, so my friends made it happen in their own (not always quite within the rules) ways! Some of my favorite examples of guerilla accommodations have been: friends providing impromptu ASL translations of instructions, going into classrooms and swapping out unsafe equipment, helping educate classmates, unlocking doors to create accessible paths, contacting event organizers themselves with accessibility requests, and arranging rides. My sister even once carried me out the parking lot when there was a fire drill! My point is, just because the college told you no doesn’t mean it’s impossible. There are a lot of good people out there who are willing to help, even if they’re not the ones that work in disability services.

I wish you the best of luck on your quest for accommodations!

#accommodations #office of disability services #disabled college student #disability #disability advice #teaandspoons #chronic illness advice #chronic illness #spoonie

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painted-crow · 3 years

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hey paint i know primaries burn or explode but is there a word for when your secondary gets real tired? i like my rapid fire actor bird secondary, but lately it’s felt like it’s acting all the way down—like when i dig through all the toolboxes and personas i’ll just come out the other side. it worries me in a mirrorball-by-taylor-swift kinda way (which isn’t really helped by my lion primary haha).

Secondaries burn too, and I think you're on the verge of that--the feeling of exhaustion you describe is a key characteristic. It seems like your masks conflict with your primary; if you're using that tactic a lot lately for one reason or another and it's starting to freak out your Lion, you could end up fully burning your secondary.

(You also mention rapid fire Bird, but it sounds like the Actor Bird masks are more the problem. Usually tools don't feel like something you hide behind. If they do to you... maybe they aren't really your tools, like you didn't get to choose them, and someone pushed them on you? Just a thought.)

Caution: HOT

Assuming that sounds right, you want to avoid burning your secondary, if possible. I'll try to offer some advice, but this is going to be a bit of a shot in the dark, so it's hard to say what will apply to you... otherwise, *offers internet hugs*

A note before we get into this: do what you need to protect yourself. Using masks isn't wrong or bad, but given what you've said, I'm concerned for you--I know how exhausting they are to keep up long term, even if you aren't a Lion. But if it turns out that using Bird masks is what you need to do to survive, don't feel bad about that--keep yourself safe.

Identifying the problem

First, it sounds like you're using your masks more often than usual, and there's probably a reason for that. My guess is that there's something that feels unsafe or unaccepting to you, and since you're noticing this problem now, there's a good chance that it's new.

A new environment, new relationship, new circumstances... something is stressing you out. Toxic work environment at a new job? Friend who isn't really a friend? Situations you can't prepare for easily?

Our friend @magpie-of-a-birb has a brilliant suggestion for figuring this out through Lion primary:

Slow down and break down the situation. Make each aspect as small as possible and essentially hold every aspect up to your lion one at a time. See what pings, see what doesn't, and don't ignore any pings saying something is wrong, and especially not the ones saying you feel unsafe. If anything, investigate them further.

Basically, use your lion consciously. There may be pings that you're missing that would be helpful (like signs that you're uncomfortable with xyz behavior from someone else).

(Slightly edited for pronouns etc, but that's all Magpie. She's super smart you guys.)

Potential fixes

Once you've figured out what's wrong, you have a few general options for dealing with it.

Different tactics. Can you get by with a different Bird tool? Pick up a model of another secondary, maybe try out Badger mirroring instead? (Which, to me, feels more genuine than my Bird masks, and takes less energy.) What happens if you lower the mask a bit, if it's safe to do so? Is there possibly a different mask you could use that feels more like you/is less exhausting?

Change the situation. This might mean setting healthy boundaries, adjusting your schedule, backing off on some of the work you've taken on... you'll have to figure out what this means for you. It might also mean seeing a therapist who can help you through some of this.

Leave. This is a bit of a nuclear option, but sometimes you have to. You can't change a toxic work environment, for example, and you shouldn't undervalue your mental health. Consider continuing to look for work on the quiet.

There's one last option you might be thinking of: trying to get your Lion to be okay with your Bird masks. It might sound like a good idea, but masks aren't a good long-term tactic, specifically because of the amount of energy they require to maintain.

Believe me, I know.

Story time

I keep writing about this next experience in different posts and deleting it because it didn't seem relevant enough, but... I guess this is the time.

I have a "serious/smart/competent/masculine" Bird mask. I developed it in high school, and started using it constantly when I started studying programming in college. I was an anxious, depressive, barely 17-year-old loner girl (usually the only girl in the class) trying not to be rejected by a crowd that's notorious for being exclusionary.

And not without reason. There's a huge elitism problem in tech. I remember trying to lower the mask a few times, and getting pounced on. Not everyone did that, of course, but a handful of my professors did, as did many people I met at networking events. So basically, just the people whose approval I actually needed, career wise.

I had no flipping idea I was using a mask, and not until I left tech, years later, did I realize:

a) that I had the mask in the first place;

b) that I could drop it; or

c) how much energy it had taken to maintain.

Each of those realizations came separately. It took a while. I don't have a problem with any of the traits in the mask, see; each of them is mine to a degree (as with all my masks), but performing them constantly, and loudly enough to work, became too much for me.

Some masks take more energy than others. That one takes a lot, because I am not competitive, or terribly assertive, by nature. I have another mask ("soft/friendly/feminine/optionally shy") that I use in situations where I care more about being liked than respected. I can keep that one going longer, but it gets on my nerves eventually--either because it's not entirely me, or because the way some people treat that mask is really annoying.

It sounds like whatever mask you're using is on the energy-sucking side. There might be an easier one that you can gradually switch into (harder than it sounds, I know), but even then, it's not a great long term solution.

In short: masks are useful for things like making good first impressions or getting out of a bad situation, but not for getting a toxic community to accept you indefinitely. It's a really, really good thing that you're picking up on this now and not later.

(special credits to @magpie-of-a-birb, who discussed this with me and made this post better, in addition to supplying that quote--go follow her if you aren't already!)

#sortinghatchats #ravenclaw secondary #actor bird #burned ravenclaw secondary #paint speaks #asks #q

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memoriesofthecircularroom · 3 years

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There’s nothing wrong with clowning on ableism

Except that I’m saying this is clown on clown violence you asshole. And YES there IS harm on clowning on ableism!! How has the internet warped your sense of humanity so much that you think that the knee jerk reaction to misinformation is to be horrible to that person??

Let’s say you believe (as I see many systems on tumblr believe) that Endogenics are, for the most part, traumagenic systems that don’t realize or people pretending. You see someone do the scenario I mentioned, and you troll them and repost their posts to make from of them. There are now a few scenarios opened up, using all the logic anti-endos have themselves used:

1. You have made a traumatized system, who is misinformed and already falling into the endogenic brainwashing, pissed off at the traumagenic community. You have made this system think of themselves as a martyr. “Look at this anti-endos who are making fun of and harassing me.” Congrats! You just solidified their fucking belief that Endogenics are the kind ones and that Traumagenics are horrible.

2. You have made a traumatized system, who is misinformed and already falling into endogenic brainwashing, feel isolated, Moreso than they already did. The endogenic community leaves them for dead after a perceived slight. They no longer trust the traumagenic community. This traumatized system no longer associates with anyone with correct information, and has to try and work out every single aspect of their disorder on their own. I wonder why Suicide rates are so high for those with undiagnosed DID/OSDD? (I know there’s more reasons than just this but JESUS CHRIST.)

3. You just gave a faker more attention and clout. You just gave an attention seeking whore more attention. What did you hope to do here?? They THRIVE on this sort of shit.

And the magic fourth option:

4. Somehow, someway, Youre… helping?? By being an asshole.

I recognize there’s been a lot of conversation lately about how ridicule can be used to deplatform people. But here’s the problem with applying that to Endogenic controversies: it’s a niche.

Using ridicule to deplatform a Nazi who is speaking in public? This typically works because it goes viral. It’s wide-hitting. It’s typically news when someone punches a Nazi in public.

Using ridicule to bully a single teenager who gets maybe 100 notes max on a personal blog? The fuck kind of sadism high are you on?

If I looked at my atudents assignments. Where they do shit that’s wrong - hell. I have had kids write ableist shit IN THEIR ESSAYS. They SAY ableist shit. If I looked at their assignments and said “HEY. EVERYONE. LOOK WHAT XYZ WROTE IN THEIR ESSAY. THIS IS HILARIOUSLY WRONG IN SO MANY WAYS. EVERYONE LAUGH AT THAT STUDENT.” I would be fired. Because JESUS. ITS WRONG TO DO. Instead I take the student aside and EDUCATE them FUCKING GOD. I HAVE PATIENCE WITH THEM.

You don’t educate people by being an asshole.

#syscourse #Jesus Christ #I know I’m shouting a lot #And it’s not out of anger Anon #It’s out of frustration #I’m so frustrated that I can’t go into the tags anymore without seeing this shut #And lo and behold #I can’t even say how shitty it is to see in the tags #When it so clearly reflects the same Reddit that has been regularly traumatizing other systems on tumblr #WITHOUT A MESSAGE TELLING ME IM WRONG.#Just #BE FUCKING NICE TO EACH OTHER ALREADY

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department-shoe-stud · 3 years

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Tag about me!

As always, my darling friend @mira-shard is too kind to me :)

1. Why did you choose your url?

I did a random generator that told me my sexuality, and this was what came out. I love it so much, and having the nickname “Stud” is a) really really funny, and b) a massive confidence boost. Plus, I just like nicknames, and Stud is by far NOT the dumbest one I have.

2. Any side blogs? If you have them, name them and why you have them.

Y’all, my bio says “No sideblogs, we die like ADHD hyperfixators who can’t be bothered”!!

3. How long have you been on Tumblr?

2014. I’ve been here since 2014. Why? God knows, but here I am.

4. Do you have a queue tag?

2! Back when I was super into Tumblr and had convinced myself that somehow it was my full-time job, at age 16, I had “Club queuing up on a Tuesday” but then I realized “Hey! No!” and I took a break, came back, and now my queue is just “q” and I use it when I’m reblogging something late at night and don’t want people to realize I have a terrible sleep schedule sometimes.

5. Why did you start your blog in the first place?

I found Tumblr posts on iFunny, eventually came over here for fandom stuff. And before you ask, I came for Superwholock and Homestuck content. I was 14 and had recently been diagnosed with an anxiety disorder, I was allowed a little cringe.

6. Why did you choose your icon?

I just like having a little picrew of me that I update with new haircuts every so often. I think it’s fun.

7. Why did you choose your header?

Because I am the funniest person on the face of the planet and that drawing is my magnum opus.

8. What’s your post with the most notes?

A dumb meme about how Daffy Duck and Bugs Bunny are now canonically in love. I thought it might get a few hundred, but once it broke a thousand I went “Oh okay.” When it broke five thousand, I went “Huh… Well.” THEN it broke ten thousand and I realized that I may have made a horrible mistake.

9. How many mutuals do you have?

GOD, who knows? Like.... idk, 10? Maybe? I don’t talk to most of them, but honestly, there’s so many Tumblrs that I look at on my dash and go “!!!! Friend!!!” even though we’ve never had a single conversation.

10. How many followers do you have?

82. I get a few new ones every so often, but 8/10 they’re pornbots :/

11. How many people do you follow?

86. I go through every now and again to cull the harvest.

12. Have you ever made a shitpost?

Every post I make is shit. Welcome to the circus, baby.

13. How often do you use Tumblr each day?

It fluctuates? Sometimes I go a few days without it, some days I’m on it 4 times an hour, each for 15 minutes at a time (hardy-har-har).

14. Did you have a fight/argument with a blog once?

Babes, I don’t TALK to folks. I don’t got BEEF. Plus, I genuinely can not think of a single argument I could make on tunglr dot hellsite that would be worth my time and effort. It’s mostly fandom bs and the few times it IS actually important, I don’t need to, others have already beat me to the punch. Besides, I’m a random fandom blog, if I message someone “Hey, why do you believe xyz, that’s dumb” what am I going to accomplish?? Why would they believe me?? I’m a random fandom blog????

15. How do you feel about “you need to reblog this post”?

If I see something that has that on it, my Catholic guilt immediately kicks in and if I don’t figure out what to do real quick, I will spiral. Most of the time if it’s a post like that, I ignore it because a lot of the time it can be misinformation, plus I just genuinely don’t like making people feel like they should feel pressured to reblog something. However, if it’s something I think is actually genuinely important to reblog, I’ll reblog from a point BEFORE the “You need to reblog or else you’ll rot in Hell or w/e” comment.

16. Do you like tag games?

I fricking LOVE tag games!!! I like knowing that people looked at a post and went “Hey, I think Stud would like this!” Like, I know I’m not the foremost on everyone’s mind (I wouldn’t want to be anyhow), but just knowing that they go “Hm, I should tag some people... Stud would be nice :)” it just makes my day :D

17. Do you like ask games?

Yes!!! For the reasons above! Plus, ask games typically mean I get to do it back, which is always nice because I like messaging my mutuals.

18. Which of your mutuals do you think is Tumblr famous?

Bold of you to assume I know who’s famous. But in all seriousness, I would have to say either @unfortunate-arrow or @carewyncromwell , but an argument could be made for @drinkyoursoupbitch , @cursebreakerfarrier , @cursebreakerelmswood or @mizutoyama , but genuinely? Not a clue. I don’t know people’s fame on Tumblr, I just go based off of how many tag-lists they get on, and then add me to :P

19. Do you have a Tumblr crush on a mutual?

H-how... How would I... I don’t... What does that mean? Like, do I admire some people? Because yes, I admire my mutuals and all the talented creators that I’m lucky enough to have acknowledge my existence. Do I have an actual crush on any of them? No, because I don’t know most of their actual names and a good percentage of them are underage. I repeat, they are MINORS. So that’s a hard no.

20. Tags (no pressure): @drinkyoursoupbitch @quicksilver-ace @unilateraldisaster @imagitory @charliedaltonned @erinislands @mizutoyama @raes-place @unfortunate-arrow @feragon-dingbat @cursebreakerfarrier

#wow #this is the first time i actually get into some real stuff about me #huh #neat #but yeah #this is me!#about me #bookmark

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sugar-petals · 4 years

Note

This's been on my mind for awhile and i just wanted to know if im the only one: im both a hard and soft stan for all the bangtan boys but I just can't read any y/n x hobi kind of fics cause it feels weird?? Like I thirst over him (im not saying i dont think he's sexy, handsome or anything, cause he is!!) but it doesnt go so far from that. i cant picture myself dating or *being intimate* with him the way i do with the others..but why?? Maybe its the image he transmits?Wanted to hear your thoughts

as a general note first. it could be any member that a fan might feel more platonic about: simply a matter of character, looks, perceived connection. as you say, it might be that he sends out something else to you. that being said —there are two components to talk about here.

I. ON HOSEOK WRITERS

you’re very right about how sometimes, there’s a strong lateral portrayal going on if an idol fits a particular stereotype. you might be able to picture yourself in a scenario with a member, but it’s not something that’s written in the fandom. maybe because authors didn’t think about it. or maybe it’s unpopular. or not agreed on. several reasons can coincide.

fact is, image can for sure steer the way x reader fics are made. a lot of stage, photoshoot, and MV moments inspire many writers. you do have to say that it’s not all there is though. there’s a portion that gets ideas from backstage anecdotes. and a third fraction comes up with something on their own. a fourth wildly mixes everything. a fifth portion has someone else in mind but writes person XYZ instead. a sixth uses a mainstream porn or twt/tiktok trend as the basis of the character (... uncomfortable). a seventh author uses their life experience. another author replicates a popular book/movie. and so on.

hobi x reader writers have good reasons to get the first of inspo from his performance work where he shines. he’s the most stage-savvy member after all. they might get stuck there and not go any further because there’s already a lot to say about him going all out there. you might feel a way different atraction if someone wrote about a more private hoseok, or not, who knows? if there was some material about that. it’d be interesting to see how it plays out. advocating for some domestic hobi right here 😄

II. ON J-HOPE AND THE FANDOM

another fandom dynamic and bighit strategy that contributes to the effect. i always get the feeling he’s shown to us or shows himself in a more restricted, media-conscious type of way. more professional, less transparent. he’s not yoongi baring his most hidden concerns all day. he’s more sleek, not a target sphere of vulnerability or directness.

it’s not about privacy, but opinion: we know his family and hobbies and personality, but seemingly not the innermost hoseok. he’s the member that projects the most out but nobody can venture in. extroversion is a better shield than most people think. even if he says something very intimate, or raps about it, he keeps his smile on, and it takes the attention away. namjoon lets us gaze into his mind and strikes that tone, hoseok remains more elusive. his role in the team fortifies that, he doesn’t have to do the concept work that RM/suga do as producers.

a fanfic plot needs some degree of that innermost being in any kind of portrayal to really get to a reader. jimin is so desired as a date by many because he carries a lot of things about him on his sleeve. someone who decides not to do that will leave people guessing and unsure. it’s not always the looks: the idol who’s the least blank slate in a group is often the most beloved.

they’re easier to picture as your counterpart, an emotional bridge is easier to build. again then — some advocating here: doesn’t his professionalism make hobi even sexier? i find that mature and reasonable of him. you can imagine how seriously he’d take a relationship, and he can separate between his different worlds very well. hobi treats being an idol like an idol.

the prevailing problem is. hobi’s already shown in body focus, that he’s the dance headquarters of bts doesn’t help, and fans can only pick that up, or spin a 2D narrative of him. it’s been discussed often that hoseok handles stardom and self-reveal with more distance, he chooses to protect himself more than the rest. so what i think is that you have problems going past superficial thirst because

a) hobi hardly shows himself past his performer self by choice

b) the company promotes him that way

c) the fandom can’t go deeper than that either, on what basis. so, his stage presence and thirst potential becomes overhyped instead.

which is a testament to his talent but also a tale on how you can fetishize someone: as is often pointed out when people only look at hoseok based on how he can grind his hips in choreography omitting everything else about him. it’s because there’s no going further and deeper from either side. it’s agreed upon and part of the game, but it’s also sad that hoseok uses that blank slate to stay safe, or whatever reason is behind it. it’s business right there.

honestly, it IS a strong kind of strategy to prevail and keep your grind. a lot of idols could benefit from having even a tinge of hoseok’s approach to fame. if he becomes less in reach that way but he rather enjoys him image and fans go along and he’s okay with that, it’s something to deal with in a manner of, hey we see the actual point of it.

he doesn’t have to feel reachable or as vulnerable as other members opt to be, and the idea of hoseok is that he’s the sun in the first place. it does you good but getting so close isn’t the purpose 😉 some people are more meant to shine from way above. you see how namjoon is the moon man, much nearer to earth, revealing itself up close. you get the analogy, and we get back to the first paragraph like this, it always comes down to character after all.

#hoseok #fic talk #j-hope #namjoon #bts #fanfic #fanfic culture #kpop #bangtan #jimin #yoongi #anon #ask #cub mail 🐆

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froppywrites · 4 years

Note

Hey ! I was wondering if you could do a bakugou x reader imagine where it’s the first day of school and the reader is like a super famous billionaire celebrity (her parents are really high paid hero’s with amazing quirks) and when she enters school there’s lots of celebrities and fans and stuff and instead of fawning over her bakugo is real with her and they become really close and eventually start dating? xx I’m so sorry if this is long x thank u sm ! ❤️💘

STARSTRUCK

pairing: bakugou katsuki x reader

word count: 2.2k

authors note: hi!! mod cer here. i did my best to keep it gender neutral! i apologize if there’s feminine pronouns used somewhere in here. either way, i tried my best, i hope you like it!!

*༄:･ﾟ✧

It wasn’t uncommon for some kid who was the offspring of heroes to go to UA. Bakugou knew that, and he was prepared for that. It would have been stupid to not be prepared for a scenario like that.

Though, Bakugou didn’t really care about celebrities or celebrity children in the first place. Like everyone else, they were stepping stones. They would be the most satisfying to pass. They were the most satisfying.

He was in class 2A this year, something he was glad about after everything that had happened. Maybe the new batch of preemies would take up the attention span of the villains this year. He doubted it, though. Some of those villains had something out for him, and Deku. And probably the rest of his class at this point.

Walking into UA, he expected nervous first years and second and third years who were finding their friends. He didn’t expect to find a throng of squealing girls and boys surrounding something.

Scratch that, someone.

This was the shit he was trying to avoid, really. Bakugou had some people try to come up to him; I know you from the sports festival last year! Weren’t you kidnapped by villains? I saw you do xyz– Bakugou basically shoved them away from him. Well, no, more like snarled until they finally got the memo.

Nedzu didn’t like it when he shoved people.

Unfortunately, the crowd of people were blocking the way he needed to go. While confrontation wasn’t exactly what he wanted in the morning, it wasn’t something he would ever pass up.

“Get out of my fucking way, extras.” His voice was rough from the lack of use over the past twelve hours. His parents had been at work, so there wasn’t exactly yelling that morning. Bakugou was loud, but not yelling- well, at least not to him.

His palms crackled with small explosions as the students parted like the fucking red sea once they realized who was talking. As the students parted, he got to see who was making all the fuss.

You.

Like everyone else in the world, he knew who you were. Your parents were stupid famous in some other country that Bakugou didn’t care about, and for some reason, you were here. At UA. He scowled and stomped forward, showing no sign of slowing down. He was ready to barrel through you if you didn’t move, that much was evident.

Unfortunately, you didn’t move. That didn’t stop Bakugou from bashing your shoulder with his on the way by.

“Hey! Watch where you’re going!”

Maybe it was the tone you had, or maybe it was because he knew you came from some sort of legacy, but Bakugou stopped in the hallway and half turned back towards you.

“You’re nothing special, princess. Stay out of my fucking way.”

–

The first encounter wasn’t the worst one. Neither was the one when he realized you were in his class. It made him angry that some bitch can just show up and get into 2A because of their name. Especially after everything his class had been through. To him, you were a fraud.

But to you, he was the only one who wasn’t fangirling over who your parents were. Bakugou wouldn’t know he was your saving grace, not for a while.

–

Living in the same dorm as you made things difficult. He didn’t like you, and he could tell the feeling was mutual. It was like every feud Bakugou had in year one all over again.

His friends were eating this shit up.

It wouldn’t of been as funny to them if you hadn’t managed to migrate into his friendship. As much as Bakugou hated you, he was stubborn and why the hell should he give up his friends just because he hated you? It was stupid, and it was a competition now.

“C’mon man, they’re not that bad,” Kirishima had whispered in his ear.

They were all sitting on the couches in their dorm. It was slightly nicer than last year, he wasn’t sure if it was budget related or just because they were second years.

“Shut the fuck up. I’d rather spend a day with the class pervert then sit any closer to them, “ Bakugou hissed, elbowing Kirishima to try and get the male further away from him. But, Kirishima had just laughed at his attempt.

“They’re a total catch, look at them,” Denki said from his other side, just a bit too loudly. If Bakugou looked at him, he would probably be drooling.

“Oi, they’re not a fucking object, jackass,” Bakugou barked, red face from annoyance that Denki never learned when to shut his mouth.

Or, maybe, it from the fact that you heard the conversation over what you were saying to Mina and seemed to give him appreciative nod.

That’s when Bakugou stormed out of the common area and back up to his room.

–

The kitchen was his solace.

Well, only when everyone was tucked away into their beds.

Bakugou still went to bed early, and still got teased for it, but more often than naught he would wake up in the night due to some stupid nightmare. They were more common after all the events of his first year. He was strong, yes, but he knew that the brain could only handle so much. His brain gave him nightmares when it was trying to digest everything, but it had been months by then, and he wondered if they would ever go away.

And that’s why he found solace in the kitchen. He would make a small meal, a little snack, if you will. Or he would just make tea and stand there. Bare feet on the cool tile, elbows resting on the counter. The steam from the teacup would billow up and hit his face. He could just stand there for hours, hunched over his cup of tea with his eyes closed.

One night, while he was trying to wrap everything in his mind back into its messy bow, he had been disrupted.

It wasn’t uncommon. Many people in his class suffered from nightmares, and when they came into the kitchen and saw him there they just knew. They didn’t bother him. They would get water and leave, or use the rest of the boiled water to make their own cup of tea. It was quiet, and there was always this feeling of understanding.

But that night, someone had stopped at the entrance of the kitchen. Like they were shocked to find someone there. He was too tired to get riled up, so he stayed in his position, but he cracked open an eye to see who it was.

It wasn’t a surprise that it was you, standing in the kitchen with your mouth parted like there was a question begging to come out. Maybe it was how he looked, or maybe it was common fucking sense, but you closed your mouth. He closed his eye and tried to zone out. It wasn’t hard when you didn’t move from your spot, and it was even harder when you just stared.

“What?” Bakugou had tried to snap, but his voice was tired and scratchy, there was still bite to his words but not as much as he had wanted.

“I came to get a glass of water.”

“What are you waiting for, permission?”

“I- No, I didn’t want to … intrude.”

“Get your water and leave then.”

It was quiet for a minute more before he heard your slippers shuffling against the tiles, the cupboard opening and closing, and then the faucet running and turning off. But, again, you didn’t move from your spot. He straightened up, turning so his back leaned against the counter and crossed his arms. His glare was strong, but the bags under his eyes seemed to make it seem less real. Less threatening. He waited for what you were going to say.

“I’m sorry.”

“Huh?” Bakugou wasn’t a boy of many words.

“I’m sorry. For everything you and your class went through.”

“Shut up. Go back to your fuckin’ dorm.”

“I know I’m an outsider to your class, I can see that clear as day. I haven’t been through what you have, but I do know what trauma feels like. So, I might not be one of you, but I’m not stupid. Stop treating me like I’m some invasive species. I’m not leaving any time soon, so you might as well get used to me, Bakugou.”

Maybe it was the way that you didn’t leave room for argument, or maybe it was the way you were straight up with him, but something had him biting his tongue as you turned and walked away. Something prevented him from shouting at you.

He’ll blame it on lack of sleep.

–

Like a bunch of teenagers, class 3A held one last party in the dorm before graduation. It was fast approaching, and even though Bakugou already had things aligned for next year, he was sad to say goodbye to UA. Not that he would admit that to anyone.

A lot of things had happened from day one up until now. Villain attacks were by far the most common, obviously, so it wasn’t really shocking anymore.

What was shocking, then?

The fact that Bakugou Katsuki had become close with you. Someone he swore he would’ve hated until the end of time.

When it wasn’t class, or training, you were glued to his hip. It wasn’t a bad thing, not anymore, but he did get annoyed when his friends would tease him for it. But, wasn’t that what friends were for?

It was loud, and there was music playing on top of that, so Bakugou stayed away from all the commotion. For him to be calling it loud was saying something. He had hearing loss from his quirk, so if he said it was loud, it was loud. Aizawa had given up on telling everyone to be quiet, or maybe he was just letting them have one last fun time together before graduating.

All the graduates were smushed together in his dorm building. It was annoying. He wanted to kick them all out, but for some reason his friends were friends with people from the other classes. He was pretty sure that the building couldn’t accommodate everyone, but so far it had.

Bakugou was in the kitchen, away from everyone. His place of solace, which he would lose soon.

Oh, you were in the kitchen too.

But, you were glued to his hip, so it wasn’t surprising for him to turn and find you standing there beside him with a smile that was too happy on your face.

He put the kettle on the stove.

“So, we’re graduating on Monday.”

“What about it?”

“Well, don’t you feel like it’s a bit too soon?” There was hesitance in your voice.

“Don’t think you prepared yourself? You had three years,” Bakugou said. His tone was sharp, but it held no real malice. You knew that by now.

“No, I know I prepared myself. Thank you for having no faith in me,” you said sarcastically. Bakugou rolled his eyes. “I just mean, I feel like there’s something left that needs to be done. Something’s missing.”

“Well, better find it before Monday then, princess.”

You rolled your eyes, swatting a hand at his arm. He watched you carefully, wondering what was on your mind. He always knew or, at least, could always figure it out. But this time, you were on guard. About something. He wasn’t sure what it was though.

He watched as you shuffled closer to him, moving to stand in front of him. Bakugou raised an eyebrow. He really had no idea where your head was at this time.

“I think I found it,” you murmured.

Thank god he could read lips or else he would have asked you to repeat yourself.

“Yeah?” he asked, and his voice dropped down low to match how quiet yours was.

Crimson eyes watched as you moved even closer, and your hands placed themselves on the counter beside him. He watched the way you stretched upwards, trying to get your face closer to his. Bakugou decided to help and dipped his head downward. His nose brushed against yours, and for the first time in his life, Bakugou didn’t want to flee from intimate contact.

“It’s you.” Your breath fanned across his face, warm and gentle.

“Me?”

“You’re here, but you’re not. I want to be where you are. I want to follow you where you go. You’re my missing piece. You’ll complete the puzzle,” you had whispered and bumped your nose against his.

Bakugou bit back a grin.

“I didn’t realize my best friend was a fucking poet.”

“Katsuki, shut up.”

You had closed the gap between them. Bakugou had been too nervous to, not that he would admit that. So, he would play it off as being cocky if asked about it later.

His hands grabbed your waist and pulled you flush against him. You two were close, especially during his third year of schooling, but being close like this satisfied some part of his brain he didn’t realize existed.

It didn’t become apparent until now, but you were also a puzzle piece that was missing from his own puzzle. You were something his brain so desperately craved, but he hadn’t realized it until you two were kissing and it finally felt like he was getting fresh air for the first time in forever.

Bakugou Katsuki wasn’t starstruck by you when he first saw you, but god was he starstruck by you now.

#bakugou katsuki #bakugou katsuki x reader #bakugou x reader #katsuki x reader #bnha #boku no hero academia #mha #my hero academia #bakugou #froppywrites #mod cer #bnha x reader #mha x reader #bnha bakugou #mha bakugou #bakugou imagine #katsuki bakugou x reader

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kuriboo · 3 years

Text

Hugsaku 2021

Crossover | Skipping Dimensions

This year I figured I’d take part in the hugsaku week. In the past with events like these, I’ve seen people take the prompts and turn them into one continuous story, and I ended up wanting to give that a try. I used a combination of prompts from the 2021 list and the 2019 list to write this out, so I hope you enjoy it!

This isn’t any of the day 1 prompts, I know... I ended up taking this prompt and using it to sort of set up the story, so this ended up being slightly out of order. The rest of the prompts should be in order, though. I do have an actual day 1 that will post later today, so there’s that to look forward to.

I’ll be posting this up on ao3 where the whole fic will be titled Dimension Gate. I’ll link the ao3 in the notes of this post. I hope you enjoy!

"Where am I? What is this?”

There was not an area like this anywhere in Link Vrains. Den City definitely looked nothing like this. Yusaku glanced down at himself briefly; okay, he was in the real world. So where was he?

He had another question: how did he get here? The last thing he could remember was...actually, he couldn't remember the last thing that happened. It wasn't a complete amnesia, he had most of his memories intact, but there was a definite blank before he got to wherever this was. Which left him with no ideas of how to get home. Great.

While he'd been checking his outfit to check if he was in the real world or Vrains, Yusaku noticed a card on the ground. It wasn't terribly uncommon for someone to accidentally drop a card in Den City. This was a completely blank card, however. Cards usually weren’t completely blank, and people didn’t tend to carry around blank cards, let alone lose them. Curious, he bent down to get a close look.

“Ai, do you know of any cards that are completely blank being used in Vrains, or why anyone would have one?”

He waited a few moments for Ai to respond, but the next few seconds were filled with nothing but silence.

That meant something was wrong. Ai loved to talk, especially when he knew something Yusaku didn't.

"Ai?” Yusaku tapped the top of his duel disk, but got no reaction. Either something was wrong with Ai, or Ai wasn't here. That worried Yusaku more than he'd like to admit.

His attention was drawn back to the blank card. Maybe his brain was just trying to distract itself from bigger, more terrifying problems with something smaller and more manageable. What was this thing? Maybe if he picked it up and got a closer look...

“Hey, buddy! you really shouldn't pick up that card!" Whatever the complete stranger who Yusaku couldn't even see was yelling about, it was too late for that. The card was already in Yusaku’s hand. He heard footsteps running behind him and assumed they probably belonged to the person that was yelling.

Yusaku turned around and, sure enough, someone was running directly at him. He glared at them." I am not your buddy, We are not friends.”

“Okay I get it, we don't know each other. But you shouldn’t keep that card . It's dangerous.”

Yusaku snorted. “Why should I give up this card, especially to a little kid?." He looked down at the card, and saw it was no longer blank. It was an actual card now, and XYZ Monster, and now it was his. There was a dull ache in the back of his head, but he ignored it. "This is exactly what I need to get my revenge, and I’ll never let anyone take that from me." He hadn't been thinking about truly putting it in his deck until he picked it up, but now he felt the strong urge to use it, like the card wanted to be with him.

“Well, if you're going to be like that, I’m gonna have to duel you for it!" The stranger held a duel disk in front of him and put some sort of eyepiece on his face.

Yusaku heard the word ‘duel’, stared at the eyepiece, and felt something between fear and confusion fill him. What was he doing ? He glanced at the XYZ card. It was like the second be picked it up, he'd been filled with this anger. The same kind of anger that drove his revenge, like the card was Ai and this stranger was a Knight of Hanoi. He hadn’t realized the anger was there until it was gone. Could a card do that outside of Vrains?

He looked at the stranger. "No duel. I changed my mind, I don't want it."

That caught the strange off guard." Are you sure?"

He looked the stranger over this time. This was clearly a kid still in middle school. Was it safe to give them this card if they said it was dangerous? Well this middle schooler knew more about this card than Yusaku did, clearly. He held it out to the kid. “Take it.”

("Yuma, why are you hesitating? Take the card before he charges his mind.”)

The stranger stared at Yusaku as he slowly took it, as if waiting for Yusaku to change his mind, but he took the card easily.

The stranger blinked up at Yusaku. “How did you resist the Number's control?"

"Control?" Now that the card was out of Yusaku’s possession, it felt like a weight had been lifted from his shoulders, but he still didn't understand what that meant.

"These Numbers belong to my friend Astral. He lost them and they're all over the place, and when most people pick them up, they take control of them. People

start doing bad stuff. I'm trying to get them back for Astral, but I usually have to duel whoever has them to get them back. But I challenged you to a duel, and you just gave it to me?"

Yusaku shrugged." I don't know about this cards controlling people business. I don’t know why I wanted to keep the card at all. You wanted to duel, I don't like dueling.

The stranger pointed at Yogaki's arm, " You have a duel disk?"

Yusaku shifted his weight. "Appearances can be deceiving. You don't know anything about me.

"That's true. I've never seen you before. I don't even know your name. Oops! I'm Yuma.”

“Yusaku."

(“Fascinating. Yusaku doesn't seem to know how he did it, but he resisted. I would like to observe him and try to figure out how.”)

"Come on, Astral, don't be creepy," Yuma whispered to the empty air beside him, loud enough for Yusaku to be able to hear easily.

"Uh…”

“Oh. Astral, the friend I mentioned before, he's here, too. But for some reason I'm the only person that can see him. Weird, huh?"

“So you have an imaginary friend.” If it was really Yuma who owned and lost these cards and Astral was made up to blame someone else for it, Yusaku wouldn't be surprised. Middle schoolers were young enough for imaginary friends, right? He couldn't remember.

("Yuma, ask him if I can learn more about him.”

“He's not imaginary, I swear -- Astral, stop being weird!" Yuma protested. "Besides, I'm sure Yusaku wants to go home, it's getting dark out!”

Yusaku looked up to the sky. Yuma was right, twilight was hitting the city and he was no closer to figuring out his own predicament. As a night owl, the time and darkness usually didn't bother Yusaku, but in an unfamiliar area like this he was only going to get more lost. "I suppose I should.” The two of them stood in silence, Yuma staring at Yusaku while Yusaku stood in place.

“So, are you going home, then? Or…” Yuma spoke eventually.

“Oh right,” Yusaku blinked. "I don't know where I am or how I got here. So I have no idea how to do that."

"I can at least tell you where you are! This is Heartland City!"

Yusaku shook his head. "Never heard of it." Knowing that didn’t help him at all. He’d have to figure it out from there, somehow.

“I can try to help you figure out how to get back," Yuma offered. "But - oh, my sister's going to be so mad at me if I'm not home soon. You know, there's no school tomorrow, I could help you then. You want to spend the night at my place?"

Everything about following some kid he barely knew to his house set off extremely loud danger signals in Yusaku’s head. He tried to remind himself he was older now, definitely older than Yuma was, and was more able to take care of himself.

"It'll be a lot easier for us in the morning," Yuma offered when Yusaku gave no response.

“...I get bad nightmares. I wake up screaming.”

"That's okay.” Yuma did not waver in his determination to help.

“Fine." Yusaku definitely had no friends around here, so he didn't have much of a better choice.

"Awesome, it’ll be a sleepover! I can't wait!”

Yuma pulled Yusaku into a surprisingly strong hug for someone shorter than him. Yusaku froze, felt every muscle in his body freeze up. This was about the most uncomfortable thing that could’ve happened.

Once Yuma realized, he released Yusaku and apologized, but his spirits did not seem dampened at all.

"So,Yusaku, do you go to the same school as me?"

(“Yuma, if he's never heard of this city, I highly doubt he goes to school here.”)

“Astral, I didn't ask you."

#hugsaku #hugsaku2021 #yugioh zexal #yugioh vrains #tater writes #when i first started writing this i hadn't committed to using all these prompts to write a whole story #so originally this was going to be the entire fic...but then i kept looking at the prompt list and kept getting inspired to continue #and then this became extremely long...#this takes place before episode 20 of zexal and at.......some undefined point before season 3. up to your interpretation

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