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hela-avenger · 1 year

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p&w: you, me and the avengers make three

Author: hela-avenger

Word Count: 1824

Summary: pranks are all fun and games until someone gets hurt... and your hit list has quite a few names to cross.

(alternative title: all is fair in love and war)

A/N: I've finally got to it! Hope to write a few more short extras before finally commencing the sequel of poison & wine.

poison & wine masterlist

You didn’t put two and two together until it became blatantly obvious that your friends had initiated a prank war that revolved around you.

It started slowly and so casually that you chalked it off as your friends just really missing you. The first few days back to the compound, specifically the mornings, were taken up by Nat and Wanda who insisted on daily brunches or long coffee runs to catch up on all the gossip surrounding your trip to Asgard and your sudden relationship with Loki.

The remainder of the day was for the boys as Steve and Bucky took up a lot of your time reminiscing on the old days and hoping to outdrink you when they noticed you could keep up with them.

With this schedule thrust upon you, your nights were the only moments you had to spend with Loki and even then you both were quick to fall asleep, missing a chance to actually spend time together.

It wasn’t until you slept in one day enjoying Loki’s company for once that the pieces finally came together.

Nat and Wanda were quick to ambush you into going out for lunch and when you explained that you would like to spend a day with your boyfriend did they double down. If that wasn’t hint enough, you were quickly surrounded by Steve and Bucky who insisted on taking you out on a trip to DC to visit the local museums.

“What is going on?” you questioned them but the moment those words came out of your mouth did they quickly make themselves scarce.

The final nail on the coffin was when you returned to Loki only to find him fending off his own brother.

“No, Thor,” he exclaimed. “I do not want to spar with you nor do I wish to venture out on the filthy streets of New York to visit Central Park. There is no amount of groveling that will convince me. I’m quite tired of these adventures you keep trying to convince me of so make haste and leave my sight before you find a dagger pierced to your side.”

Thor throws his hands in surrender as he backs out of Loki’s room. You’re quick to stop his exit though much to Loki’s discontent.

“Actually Thor, stay,” you tell him, narrowing your eyes at the god. “I have some questions that are in need of answers.”

You watch Thor visibly swallow as you direct him to the couch.

“What’s going on?”

“Nothing,” Thor answers too quickly. “I just wish to spend time with my brother, that’s all.”

“Right,” you whisper. You take a moment to gather your thoughts and let the silence in the room grow. Thor glances at the door and Loki starts to catch on.

“Darling, what is this about?”

“Nothing,” you wave him off as you settle on a course of action. “Old age must be getting to me because I just had some silly thoughts, that’s all.”

You turn to Thor and smile.

“You’re free to leave, Thor. Sorry to keep you.”

Thor’s relief is instant as he jumps up from the couch and heads for the doors. The moment his hand reaches for the handle is when you decide to strike.

“Oh and Thor?” you call out. “Tell Nat and the rest of them better luck next time because revenge is coming and it’s coming for each and every one of you.”

Thor is quick to retract his hand and turns back to face you with complete and utter fear. Loki is amused at the sight but surprised to see you rendering his brother in such a state.

“My love, an explanation please?” Loki speaks as he wraps his arms around your waist.

“It seems like my friends and your brother have been scheming behind our backs,” you explain. “But I might be inclined to offer mercy if an apology is made.”

“Apologies, my lady,” Thor quickly exhales, dropping down to one knee and crossing his arm across his chest. “My deepest and most sincere apologies.”

“Apology accepted, Thor,” you laugh out. “You may rise.”

“As much as I enjoy your groveling, brother,” Loki states with a grin. “What scares you so much about my darling little pet? I’ve never seen you so regretful after pulling pranks on me.”

“Well, I know what to expect of you, Loki,” Thor answers. “Daggers and magic and humiliation in front of many, many people but as for your better half…”

Thor trails off unsure of how to explain it.

“He simply doesn’t know what to expect,” you answer. “Perhaps I’ll leave all of you on edge never knowing when I’ll enact my revenge and when enough time has passed and all has been forgotten, in a moment of pure peace and serenity, I’ll strike everyone with the things they fear the most and likely cause such life-altering trauma that they potentially never heal from.”

Thor looks at you in pure horror.

“Or maybe I’ll place laxatives in your food,” you add with a wave of your hand. “It’s really hard to decide which one to do.”

Thor can’t help the shiver of fear that runs down his body.

“I spoke too soon. You might be the better half in this scenario, brother,” Thor whispers. “You two are really made for each other.”

Loki can’t help but laugh at his brother’s expense as he presses a kiss on the curve of your neck before letting go of your waist.

“Though she be but little, she is fierce,” Loki comments. “It’s nice not to be on the receiving end of your wrath, darling.”

You plop down on your couch as you try to plan every detail of your upcoming vengeance. The growing silence is evident and Loki takes notice of the glint of fire in your eyes.

“What exactly are you planning?”

“It’s war, Loki,” you answer. “All is fair in love and war.”

The cork flies perfectly across the kitchen and you are quick to carry the overflowing champagne bottle to the sink. Nat and Wanda can’t help but laugh as you scramble for the pitcher of orange juice and top it off.

“We really are sorry,” Wanda apologizes. “It really was a harmless prank.”

“I’m not really sorry,” Nat remarks. “You come back from this mysterious trip in Asgard, disappear, and when you do eventually make your way back to us, you come back with a boyfriend and it’s Loki of all people.”

“Careful Nat,” you smirk as you fill their champagne flutes. “You sound bitter.”

She rolls her eyes, “I enjoy my independence thank you very much.”

“I know I’ve kept certain things a mystery and that will remain that way for some time, but I am sorry for most things that you said Natasha, but not all.”

“Apology accepted,” Wanda answers.

“Close enough,” Nat shrugs. “Apology accepted.”

“Good, now please eat up,” you tell them as you motion to the plates in front of them. “I went through the greatest trouble of making breakfast.”

You hide your smirk as you drink your mimosa watching as they both take bites from their breakfast burrito. There’s a distinct crunch which captures them by surprise. They chew through it and eventually swallow.

“This is really good,” Wanda answers with a tight smile noticing now the smirk on your face. “What-uh-exactly is in it?”

“Egg, chorizo, avocado, some cheese...”

“But there’s a crunch,” Wanda states. “What’s the crunch?”

“Oh, that might be something I thought we should try out,” you explain as you turn towards one of the pan on the stove. “I had it when I was traveling in Thailand and it is so environmentally friendly.”

“You didn’t,” Natasha exclaims, spitting out the second bite she just took.

“See for yourself,” you say as you lift the lid revealing the crispy scorpions and spiders.

Wanda is quick to scream and gag while Natasha’s face goes stone cold. They’re quick to abandon their plates as they run towards the nearest bathroom.

You refill your glass of mimosa as Loki comes strolling into the kitchen.

“Well everything seems to have gone as planned.”

“Oh yes,” you answer as you pick up one of the discarded breakfast burritos and take a bite of your own. “If only they knew, I filled these with tortilla chips and not insects.”

Loki laughs and presses a kiss on your temple.

“So devious, darling,” he whispers. “So very devious.”

After your successful prank to Nat and Wanda, an obstacle arose in trying to catch the super boys off guard. They knew they were next and their paranoia knew no bounds. Part of you was tempted to leave them in suspense for an immeasurable amount of time but you had a plan and you weren’t going to let it go to waste.

So if Steve and Bucky weren’t going to come to you, then the solution would be to take the war to them. It was convenient in the end as the training room was just the place you wanted them to be in.

You watched as they spared against each other. With Bucky’s metal arm, Steve had no other choice but to have his shield to even the odds. They were so focused with one another that you slipped into the room with Tony’s control pad.

“Hi boys,” you greet them as you cut the music. “You’ve been avoiding me.”

Steve and Bucky look at you warily.

“Come on, don’t look at me like that!”

“We’ve apologized,” Steve states as he tucks his shield onto his back. “Whatever you’re planning, knock it off.”

“I never accepted your apology,” you point out to him. “So no I will not.”

“Doll, we really meant no harm,” Bucky insisted.

“Well, maybe I do.”

You’re quick to send a command on the control pad and watch as Bucky and Steve fly towards the wall. They groan as they make contact before you press the release causing them to slump to the ground.

“What in the hell was that?” Bucky mutters as he rolls his metal arm.

“Magnetic field,” you answer simply. “A very strong one to handle the both of you.”

“How did you even get that programmed?”

“Oh, I outsourced this part of my plan,” you explain. “Tony hated his honeymoon being disrupted but was very game into fucking with both of you.”

“Ok, ok, we get it now,” Steve surrenders. “You are not to be messed with.”

“I’m glad you learned your lesson,” you acknowledge. “But just to make sure…”

You press another command and send it through watching as Steve and Bucky are sent flying to the ceiling before you turn it off. They don’t get a chance to get up as your second command has them stuck on the floor. Bucky tries to wretch his arm off while Steve tries to wiggle his shield off his back.

You watch for a few seconds more before you turn off the command for good.

“Apology accepted boys.”

poison & wine: @damalseer @just-the-hiddles @jessiejunebug @nonsensicalobsessions @smollest-soybean @assassinoftheworld @doyoufeelikeayounggod @i-dont-know-eiither @day-dreaming-fox @bn-studies @devilbat @victor-criss-bish @musicconversedance @baby-bunnyxn @marvelloonie @queenmuahaha @accio-boys @eternalqueensworld @rogerrhqpsody @justnerdystuffs @hanoi15 @oneprolificqueen @fandomrelative @nikki419ninja @onedollarduck @ephemeraljade @captainmarvelnerd @justbeyondtheuniverse @ddaeing @leftperfectionmoon @lmfaohader

Loki Tag: @unicorniorosacomefrutillas @thesilentbluesparrow-blog @oddly-drawn-muse @josiehosiedaninja @hp-hogwartsexpress @sadwaywardkid @wolf-lover74 @sizzlingbarbarianglitter @sigyn-nightshade @aoirohi @just-a-donut-who-reads @day-dreaming-fox @heykathchuu @is-it-madness @writingletterstothefire @nonsensicalobsessions @help-i-need-a-social-life

All Works: @jmb959 @astudyoftimeywimeystuff @hellocookiecutter @steve-rogers-personal-hell-blog @buckybarnesyard @not-zari-tak @strangersstranger @thefridgeismybestie @badhollandfluff @what-a-flammable-heart @fandoms-allovertheplaceace @polireader @hufflautia

#loki x reader #loki x ofc #loki x oc #loki x original female character #avengers au #poison & wine extra #p&w #loki fanfiction #loki fic #loki #prince loki #loki of asgard #loki odinson #Loki Laufeyson #poison & wine

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neverlandsideblog · 1 year

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Absolutely pathetic…

Well done, boys. You killed it.

#p&w #Peter and Wendy

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kaogens · 1 month

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static

#vocaloid #hatsune miku #miku hatsune #i live for making her unsettling.. had this concept in my head for a few years now im so happy w how it came out #will be up as a print during my new shop update this month too :P #i havent been updating much on tumblr but im cooking up something good for this months shop update IM EXCITEDDDDDD

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inkskinned · 10 months

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because sometimes there are invisible tests and invisible rules and you're just supposed to ... know the rule. someone you thought of as a friend asks you for book recommendations, so you give her a list of like 30 books, each with a brief blurb and why you like it. later, you find out she screenshotted the list and send it out to a group chat with the note: what an absolute freak can you believe this. you saw the responses: emojis where people are rolling over laughing. too much and obsessive and actually kind of creepy in the comments. you thought you'd been doing the right thing. she'd asked, right? an invisible rule: this is what happens when you get too excited.

you aren't supposed to laugh at your own jokes, so you don't, but then you're too serious. you're not supposed to be too loud, but then people say you're too quiet. you aren't supposed to get passionate about things, but then you're shy, boring. you aren't supposed to talk too much, but then people are mad when you're not good at replying.

you fold yourself into a prettier paper crane. since you never know what is "selfish" and what is "charity," you give yourself over, fully. you'd rather be empty and over-generous - you'd rather eat your own boundaries than have even one person believe that you're mean. since you don't know what the thing is that will make them hate you, you simply scrub yourself clean of any form of roughness. if you are perfect and smiling and funny, they can love you. if you are always there for them and never admit what's happening and never mention your past and never make them uncomfortable - you can make up for it. you can earn it.

don't fuck up. they're all testing you, always. they're tolerating you. whatever secret club happened, over a summer somewhere - during some activity you didn't get to attend - everyone else just... figured it out. like they got some kind of award or examination that allowed them to know how-to-be-normal. how to fit. and for the rest of your life, you've been playing catch-up. you've been trying to prove that - haha! you get it! that the joke they're telling, the people they are, the manual they got- yeah, you've totally read it.

if you can just divide yourself in two - the lovable one, and the one that is you - you can do this. you can walk the line. they can laugh and accept you. if you are always-balanced, never burdensome, a delight to have in class, champagne and glittering and never gawky or florescent or god-forbid cringe: you can get away with it.

you stare at your therapist, whom you can make jokes with, and who laughs at your jokes, because you are so fucking good at people-pleasing. you smile at her, and she asks you how you're doing, and you automatically say i'm good, thanks, how are you? while the answer swims somewhere in your little lizard brain:

how long have you been doing this now? mastering the art of your body and mind like you're piloting a puppet. has it worked? what do you mean that all you feel is... just exhausted. pick yourself up, the tightrope has no net. after all, you're cheating, somehow, but nobody seems to know you actually flunked the test. it's working!

aren't you happy yet?

#almost wrote the champagne line as ''effervescent'' but legit could not write it without saying ''effervescent like a snail''#ah tumblr...#writeblr #warm up #idk . having trouble writing rn #ps i don't like to talk about it . it is my medical information. but before you ask. yes this is about being on the spectrum #i really don't like when ppl make my writing about how im [whatever ID]. i want it to ring true for the people who it rings true for #i don't want it to be like ''awwwww look at this person!!! she's the EXCEPTION!!! :)" .....#no.... not really.....#idk something gross happens whenever i admit to certain conditions and i turn into like inspiration p*rnography #like yes they actually let us use keyboards these days #furthermore i just... dont feel comfortable talking about this part of me. i had too bad of a childhood. adhd is one thing...#this one im like. still coming to terms with. which is like. my own journey.#idk. just please be kind. some things are more private than others. this one feels private to me.#i do not know how to help others w/this . and i do not know how to help myself. i will talk about it if im ever ready. idk if that will #actually ever happen #ty in advance i love u im kissing you we are kissing somewhere on the spectrum

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stuckinapril · 6 months

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lived my whole life in guilt bc i thought i was responsible for people's feelings. newly realizing that other people are responsible for their feelings and reactions, even if they make it seem like i'm the problem. a lot of the time it really has to do w them and their own emotional regulation. i can't keep thinking i'm not allowed to have space bc of other people's insecurities. like i literally refuse to dim myself. other people are responsible for their feelings just as i'm responsible for mine.

#like i'm always gonna operate from a place of kindness but i've had to deal w so many people who're bad at communication/confrontation #which led me to think i'm the problem #that i deserve to be given the silent treatment or dismissed disregarded belittled etc #that's j not true. i'm far from perfect but i think so few people deserve that kind of reaction. and my biggest revelation is i do not #even if people want to make me think i do / that their reaction is justified / that i'm a burden etc #my biggest problem is i humor people like this for too long bc it's been normalized behavior to me #does this make any sense to anyone. it's the end of the year and i'm reflecting on so many things #p

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sneakypooh · 8 months

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Nobody’s gonna see it coming …Me and My Bloodas will Be The Biggest and Most Respected.

#MMM #P&W #RRM #C👍🏼👎🏼C

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saeiken · 5 months

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🔆🔆🔆🔆

#pls click for quality :]#one piece #luffy #straw hat luffy #monkey d. luffy #roronoa zoro #zoro #zolu #one piece zoro #animation #my art #was hit w the strong urge to do this and got it done in abt 4 days lol #could spend forever nitpicking it but im not gonna overwork before the semester even starts so its done!!#nothing big but im happy w it and i think its cute :>#drew zoro p differently than i have in the past in this and yknow its ok #i think i like drawing my version better but this one (closer to canon) is p good

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crxmes · 1 year

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@crxmes

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eternvlsound · 2 months

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Neon street lights to guide you home

ig: space.ram

#v a p o r w a v e #vaporwave #a e s t h e t i c #vaporwave aesthetic #vaporwave art #aesthetics #dream core #vaporart #art #dream aesthetic #dreamcore #dreamwave #neon lights

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ghostradiodylan · 27 days

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Been a minute since I posted a WIP preview, so, here, have one from Ch 6 of Particles & Waves which I swear I am still writing and should hopefully be out in a week or two…

—————

Kaitlyn was running. Dylan was dead and all Kaitlyn could do about it was keep on running, those last helpless screams of his echoing in her ears. She felt as if she’d never be safe, never be able to stop running again. She knew the beast that killed Dylan would be mere paces behind her, and it wouldn’t be satisfied just from eating her friend. They were never satisfied. Their lust for blood went far beyond a simple animalistic hunger; it was a bottomless craving for annihilation and Kaitlyn fucking refused to become that thing’s next snack.

As she jogged, alone and nauseous through the moonlit forest, something made her change course. It wasn’t on the way to the relative safety of the lodge, but she felt an intense pull to check the bushes near the fire pit. And Kaitlyn rarely second-guessed her own intuition. She passed the remains of the bonfire where Dylan and Ryan had shared their first and only kiss, where Emma had set off the drama bomb that had detonated their night (though, to be fair, it had been Kaitlyn herself who handed her the lighter, showed her where to find the fuse), and where Ryan had dragged Nick back, bleeding and disoriented, after he was attacked. The logs were empty, the last remaining embers of the fire still smoking faintly, and she wasn’t sure how many of the people who had sat there hours before would ever make it home.

And then she saw it. There was a body lying in the underbrush. When she was near enough to take in its shape in the moonlight, Kaitlyn’s battered heart took another tumble into her gut. The face was bloody and distorted, pitted with buckshot, the mouth open in something between a frozen scream and a ghoulish smile, but still she would have known it anywhere. Kaitlyn knew the muscular body, shining with early morning dew. She’d watched him grow into it from just a small boy.

“Jacob! Jake? Oh, no. No no no no, come on, Jake, don’t do this to me.”

She knew he was dead from a meter away but she couldn’t believe it. Kaitlyn had to see him up close, had to feel the cold stillness of his body beneath her hands to accept that the boy she’d known for over half her life was truly gone.

She knelt next to Jacob’s head and lifted it into her lap. It was gross and gory and Kaitlyn didn’t care. Because it was Jacob, she didn’t hesitate to do it. She gently brushed his bloodied hair back from his face.

“I’m sorry,” she said softly, eyes brimming with tears, “I’m so sorry, Jake. I could have stopped this so many different ways, but I didn’t. I should have taken that gun away from Ryan. I should have told him not to shoot blindly into the bushes at night. God, who even does that anyway? I should have shouted to you, why wouldn’t you say something when we called out? I should never have told you how to sabotage the van. I should have told you to fuck off, I don’t even know why I didn’t. I told you to fuck off often enough, it should have been close to second nature. I’m sorry I wasn’t meaner to you for your own good. I’m so sorry, Jacob.”

Kaitlyn cradled his head in her arms and sobbed openly. For Jacob, for Dylan, for everyone else who would miss them, including her, and for the lonely little life she’d have to try to build without them. She cried until she felt a presence beside her, a hand landed on her shoulder, and she heard an unmistakeable soft voice rasping out her name.

“Kaitlyn, hey. It’s okay. It’s all gonna be okay.”

She shook her head without even turning to look at him. “How can you say that? How could anything ever be okay again, Dylan? Jacob’s dead. You’re dead. You shouldn’t even be here.”

Dylan dropped into a cross-legged sitting position beside Kaitlyn, wrapping one long arm around her, drawing her in. She looked up at him then, this specter of her dead friend, and he looked just like he had at the bonfire, his clothes spotless, his hair meticulously coiffed to look effortlessly messy.

“Have you ever known me to do what I should be doing, really?” She laughed a little at this, relaxing into his embrace, and Dylan laughed too.

“I guess not,” she admitted, “you never were one for following rules.”

“Nope, sure wasn’t. And, uh, you do know Jacob’s not actually dead, right? Your subconscious is just being a dick to you, K.”

She hadn’t known, but as soon as Dylan said it, she knew it was true. It was only then that it struck her she was dreaming. It was like her dream-self had gained access to her memories and she realized what she’d already known. Jacob was fine. She’d seen him, sobbing, at the police station, then unusually silent at a couple of social outings they’d attempted before he’d gone quiet on her, preferring to marinate in his own guilt and misery alone.

“Right,” Kaitlyn said slowly, “Jacob’s not really dead. But you are.”

“Yup,” Dylan nodded his agreement, “which is kinda funny, right? I mean, I tried pretty hard to be careful and I ended up dead. Meanwhile, this fuckin’ goober prances around in his undies all night, plays tug-o-war with a loaded shotgun, moonwalks through a field of bear traps, and still makes it out mostly unscathed.” He gave a signature eye-roll. “Straight people.”

Kaitlyn wasn’t sure what Jacob’s sexuality had to do with his survival, but she decided not to challenge Dylan about it.

“His ankle ended up pretty fucked, but you’re right, could have been a lot worse.”

“Doesn’t matter,” Dylan said, “what does matter is that I still need you, Kaitlyn.”

“Is this about the eulogy? Because I’m working on it! It’s kind of hard to sum you up in five minutes or less.”

“I’m flattered, but, no. I’m sure the eulogy’ll be fine. But I do need your help.”

“How can I possibly help you, Dylan? You’re dead.”

“Alright, sure,” he drawled, smiling, “but, am I gone? That’s the important question, no?”

“I don’t know, is this some kind of riddle? Or are you about to hit me with some of that ‘I live on forever in your heart’ type bullshit? Because that’s all well and good but I’d really rather have you, you know, around.”

“Ew, no, come on! You know I’m not about that schmaltzy nonsense. I’m literally still around. I need you to look for me. I need you to hear me. Sometimes I can see you trying but it’s like I’m just out of reach. You’ve gotta find me, Kaitlyn. I promise, I’m still there to find, something deep inside you knows it. Otherwise why would your subconscious conjure me up like this?”

“Because I miss you? I don’t know. Could just be doing it because my subconscious is a dick. Like with Jacob. You said it yourself.” She looked down expecting to see the bloodied mess of Jacob’s face in her lap, but his body was gone and so were the bloodstains he’d left on her hands and among the foliage.

“Okay, yeah, true. But I don’t think it’s that. You think you’ve failed me, Kaitlyn, but you haven’t. Not once, never. I’ve always been able to count on you. Open that third ear for me.”

“Third… ear?” she scoffed, “d’you mean third eye? I’m pretty sure that’s what you use to see spirits, buddy.”

“No! I don’t mean third eye! Jesus Kaitlyn, it’s an audio metaphor, okay?! Just let me have this! I’ve been dead for a whole month and I spent two whole months before that almost entirely in that radio hut! If I say third ear, I mean third fuckin’ ear!”

“Okay, alright!” Kaitlyn found herself snorting with laughter at his vehemence. It was nice to see that dead-dream-Dylan had kept his flair for the dramatic.

“Thank you. Now, as I was saying, you’ve always been tuned in, I just need you to turn the dial. I’m trapped in the airwaves now, K, but all I really need is a receiver. If anyone can find my frequency, it’s you. I’m still counting on you, final girl.”

Then Kaitlyn startled awake in her darkened bedroom, all alone.

#the quarry #the quarry fanfic #my writing #p&w #particles & waves #kaitlyn ka #dylan lenivy #ghost Dylan Lenivy #jacob custos #Kaitlyn & Dylan vs the world #Kaitlyn & Jacob childhood friends #angst and grief but make it a little silly #open up your third ear

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