#realistic styles are still beyond me

[koraesdoodles]

Happy Birthday, Sammy. You'll always be my first true love ❤️

#happy birthday sam winchester #sam winchester my beloved #sam winchester #sam winchester fanart #supernatural #realistic styles are still beyond me #but i tried #practice makes progress

[bixels]

Portal 2 is still the perfect game to me. I hyperfixated on it like crazy in middle school. Would sing Want You Gone out loud cuz I had ADHD and no social awareness. Would make fan animations and pixel art. Would explain the ending spoilers and fan theories to anyone who'd listen. Would keep up with DeviantArt posts of the cores as humans. Would find and play community-made maps (Gelocity is insanely fun).

I still can't believe this game came out 12 years ago and it looks like THIS.

Like Mirror's Edge, the timeless art style and economic yet atmospheric lighting means this game will never age. The decision not to include any visible humans (ideas of Doug Rattmann showing up or a human co-op partner were cut) is doing so much legroom too. And the idea to use geometric tileset-like level designs is so smart! I sincerely believe that, by design, no game with a "realistic art style" has looked better than Portal 2.

Do you guys remember when Nvidia released Portal with RTX at it looked like dogshit? Just the most airbrushed crap I've ever seen; completely erased the cold, dry, clinical feel of Aperture.

So many breathtakingly pit-in-your-stomach moments I still think about too. And it's such a unique feeling; I'd describe at as... architectural existentialism? Experiencing the sublime under the shadow of manmade structures (Look up Giovanni Battista Piranesi's art if you're curious)? That scene where you're running from GLaDOS with Wheatley on a catwalk over a bottomless pit and––out of rage and desperation––GLaDOS silently begins tearing her facility apart and Wheatley cries 'She's bringing the whole place down!' and ENORMOUS apartment building-sized blocks begin groaning towards you on suspended rails and cement pillars crumble and sparks fly and the metal catwalk strains and bends and snaps under your feet. And when you finally make it to the safety of a work lift, you look back and watch the facility close its jaws behind you as it screams.

Or the horror of knowing you're already miles underground, and then Wheatley smashes you down an elevator shaft and you realize it goes deeper. That there's a hell under hell, and it's much, much older.

Or how about the moment when you finally claw your way out of Old Aperture, reaching the peak of this underground mountain, only to look up and discover an endless stone ceiling built above you. There's a service door connected to some stairs ahead, but surrounding you is this array of giant, building-sized springs that hold the entire facility up. They stretch on into the fog. You keep climbing.

I love that the facility itself is treated like an android zooid too, a colony of nano-machines and service cores and sentient panel arms and security cameras and more. And now, after thousands of years of neglect, the facility is festering with decomposition and microbes; deer, raccoons, birds. There are ghosts too. You're never alone, even when it's quiet. I wonder what you'd hear if you put your ear up against a test chamber's walls and listened. (I say that all contemplatively, but that's literally an easter egg in the game. You hear a voice.)

Also, a reminder that GLaDOS and Chell are not related and their relationship is meant to be psychosexual. There was a cut bit where GLaDOS would role-play as Chell's jealous housewife and accuse her of seeing other cores in between chambers. And their shared struggle for freedom and control? GLaDOS realizing, after remembering her past life, that she's become the abuser and deciding that she has the power to stop? That even if she can't be free, she can let Chell go because she hates her. And she loves her. Most people interpret GLaDOS "deleting Caroline in her brain" as an ominous sign, that she's forgetting her human roots and becoming "fully robot." But to me, it's a sign of hope for GLaDOS. She's relieving herself of the baggage that has defined her very existence, she's letting Caroline finally rest, and she's allowing herself to grow beyond what Cave and Aperture and the scientists defined her to be. The fact that GLaDOS still lets you go after deleting Caroline proves this. She doesn't double-back or change her mind like Wheatley did, she sticks to her word because she knows who she is. No one and nothing can influence her because she's in control. GLaDOS proves she's capable of empathy and mercy and change, human or not.

That's my retrospective, I love this game to bits. I wish I could experience it for the first time again.

#ramblings #long post #not art #personal #also i know “did glados actually delete caroline” is debated cuz the credits song disputes this #but i like to think she did #it's not sad. caroline died a long time ago #it's a goodbye

[xx-j4nu5-c4t5-xx]

"An ideal Sims game would have Sims 2's gameplay mechanics, Sims 3's open world, and Sims 4's graphics!"

I absolutely despise this take, and I want to explain why. This is a very long rant and it is full of piss and vinegar directed at everything in the Sims 4. I'm gonna try to keep everything kinda professional as much as I can but I can't guarantee an unbiased opinion.

If you'll let me talk your ears off for a moment, I'd like to explain, from my own experience as an artist and a casual player, my issues with the art style and direction of The Sims 4 compared to The Sims 2. (I'm not really going to comment on 3 because I've never played it.)

I want to start off by explaining the difference between better graphics and higher resolution. The Sims 4 absolutely blows Sims 2 out of the water when it comes to textures and polygon counts on sims, no contest. But I'd argue that the graphics themselves... aren't better. They're worse, even, so much fucking worse. The biggest problems come from the stylization and the animations, in my opinion, so I'll explain what I mean.

Have you ever felt like the Sims in 4 just look... weird? Not quirky, not kinda strange, but off. Distressing. Uncanny. Whatever the fuck the kids call it nowadays. When you strip away the packs and the CC and the shaders, the sims in the base game look bad. They're very close to being human; they walk like us, talk like us, have families like us, but they don't look like us, not exactly. There's always something off about them, no matter how close you try to get. Proportions will be a bit off, or your eyelashes will be like three polygons for some fucking reason, and the jig is up. The illusion is gone.

This is one of the instances where a higher resolution and more detailed models and meshes work against you. You aren't making believe. You are beyond the point of pretending that the pixelated shapes are real clothes and bodies and faces, because at this point, they're close enough that you don't need to. There's no gap to bridge. But that doesn't necessarily mean that they're lifelike, at least, not enough to be completely human. In some ways, they're still tethered to being cartoony and plasticky and fake. Just enough to frighten you. Enough to put you off. They're not using it to their advantage anymore, and instead, it's holding them back.

When the Sims 2 came out in 2004, the developers knew that they weren't going to make a perfectly accurate life simulator. They physically couldn't render every wrinkle in the face or fold in the clothing. In some animations, things clip strangely or the facial expressions are sort of janky or there's just some form of roughness around the edges. But that's okay; your brain doesn't need a perfectly accurate representation this time. That's not what you're here for, anyway.

The Sims 4 is basically Icarus-ing itself into disaster. The entire game sacrifices style for complete realism, a goal that was unachievable ten years ago, and is unachievable now.

The Sims 2 never thought of itself as a completely realistic life sim, though. It has cartoony, low poly meshes and exaggerated proportions and wild, raunchy storylines that would never occur in real life. BECAUSE IT ISN'T REAL LIFE. And it isn't like real life, not because it's failing to be, but because it doesn't want to be!

The Sims 4 is not ever going to completely replicate human looks or interactions or dynamics. And if it's trying to, it's doing a shit job of it. That shouldn't be the goal in the first place. If I wanted to watch a lonely college student talk to himself in the mirror to try and get better at interacting with people, I'd close the computer and go look at myself. It somehow highlights the most mundane parts of life without any of the whimsy and goofiness that the earlier installments had. It takes itself too fucking seriously for its own good, and it's killing both the gameplay and the art style.

The other point I'd like to bring up is the animation. The Sims 4 allows for much more customization of both sim and environments, but at the cost of dynamic animations. How many times is that grab animation reused? How many times is the same set of animations used for sims with wildly different personalities? Your sims barely feel alive with how little they express themselves.

Now, look, I'm a digital artist. I've dabbled in animation, but only briefly, and only in 2D. I've got no clue how 3D animation works, much less how it worked 20 years ago, but I can see the passion in every single animation in the Sims 2. The more niche interactions allowed for more expressive animations than in 4. They could afford to have a distinct animation for mean sims throwing the football extra hard to be assholes, rather than every sim using the same generic football-throwing animation to save time and money. I get where they're coming from. I get the idea. But in one move, you've both made the art style stiffer and less expressive, and you've made the personalities of the sims seem meaningless. Everyone acts the same, regardless of what their moodlets or their traits say. It's hollow. It's stifled. It's a waste of potential.

But for what Sims 2 lacks in polygons, it makes up for in smaller animated details. Quality over quantity. The sims have hair physics, they open the door before they get in the car, they take utensils out of the counters when they cook, they jump on the couch and the cushions smush under their weight. When they dance, the weight is realistic, and when they smile, it tugs at every one of the few dozen shapes that make up their faces. The sims are lively. They dance and sing and love and hate just like humans, and rather than being some strange attempt at mimicry, it's almost a tribute. They were made with love. You can tell that they were drawn up and rigged and animated by a bunch of people working together, studying each other and making faces in the mirror for reference and watching their kids and neighbors and dogs and hands for reference. The sims are not human, and not trying to be, but they're taking the most human parts of us and making them their own.

You could never have a game with the Sims 4's graphics and the Sims 2's gameplay. The gameplay and graphics are inexorably connected, and the Sims 2 just has so much glorious detail baked into it, that you could never really make it work underneath the limitations of the later games. The developers of 2 knew what their limits were, and they worked tirelessly to make the game as full and complex as they could within those limits. The developers for the Sims 4 just did not have those guidelines, and thus, the drive to bend the rules was no longer there. They didn't go wild in rebellion because they were never told they couldn't in the first place. They spent the entire time chasing a goal they couldn't meet, and lost sight of what made the series fun to begin with.

It wasn't the realism you came for; you had realism already surrounding you. It was the caricature of it that made it interesting.

#sims 2 #sims 4 #rambling #please hear me out here #if I hear this one more time i'll explode #please #the problem is so deeply ingrained that it corrupts all it touches like an oil spill #you cant separate the graphics from the gameplay #please guys #THIS is why the sims 4 feels hollow #IT IS #IN EVERY WAY IT COULD BE #every advancement it claims to make only digs its grave further #GUYS PLEASE #CAN ANYONE HEAR ME #does this count as an essay #it felt like an essay #it's 5am

[heroesriseandfall]

Father, Daughter: Roy & Lian

“Go home, see Lian…if anyone knows who you really are, it’s your daughter.” — Grace Choi in Outsiders (2003) #33

Comic sources:

Titans (1999) #30

Outsiders (2003) #45

Titans (1999) #15

Titans (1999) #25

Titans (1999) #19

Justice League of America (2006) #11

Outsiders (2003) #19

Justice League of America (2006) #11

Outsiders (2003) #20

Teen Titans/Outsiders Secret Files 2003

Image descriptions in alt text are also copied below.

A comic panel from Titans (1999) #30, showing a green-lit memory of Roy Harper smiling as he looks down at his baby Lian in his arms. Beyond him, Jade Nguyen looks at them warmly.

A comic page from Outsiders (2003) #45 showing Roy Harper as Arsenal with Lian in pink pajamas and a heavy-set man who was babysitting. Roy holds Lian up in the air with his arms and says, “And helloooo, little squeaker!” Lian says, “Daddy, daddy, daddy, daddy, daddy, daddy!!” Roy pulls her in to rest his forehead against hers, holding her wrist as she says, “Y’know what, y’know what--today Nicole and Zach and Ashley and me and Peter and me went to the ac-rarian.” Still smiling, Roy corrects, “Aquarium.” He sets Lian on the floor and they look over, smiling, at the babysitter. Lian continues, “And there were penguins!! Little penguins! Lots of Penguins! And we stayed with the penguins until Omar said we had to go because we had to go home--” Omar the babysitter says, “They were closing.” Lian turns to the TV and presses her hands against the blank screen, saying, “But we came home and watched March of the Penguins--” Omar holds up four fingers, grins at Roy, and says, “Four times, but I skipped past the bad parts.” Roy says, “Thank you.” Lian grabs Roy’s leg and hangs off it joyfully, saying, “And Omar said we could go back to the ac-rarium--” Roy corrects, “Aquarium,” but Lian doesn’t skip a beat before continuing, “on Saturday and you could come with us, and then I’m gonna sleep over Ashley’s!”

A comic panel from Titans (1999) #15 showing Lian sitting on Roy’s shoulders, smiling and waving with one hand to someone out of frame as Roy holds onto her feet to keep her steady. In the background is a cloudy blue sky and the rocky spires of Oljato-Monument Valley in northeastern Arizona.

A comic panel from Titans (1999) #25 showing Nightwing (Dick), Tempest (Garth), Flash (Wally), and Arsenal (Roy) sitting around a campfire at night. Other speech bubbles have been cut off, but Roy is saying, “Still don’t see why I couldn’t bring Lian. She loves camping.”

A comic panel from Titans (1999) #19 showing Lian and Roy in Titans Tower as Flash/Wally is rushing over. There’s a blanket fort and boxes next to Lian. Roy is standing with a cane and has a white cast all the way up to his left thigh. Lian points up at him with a smile as she says, “You may start the campfire, lieutenant.” Roy salutes, his hand touching the brim of his backwards red baseball cap, and says, “Sir, yes, sir!” Lian only reaches his waist in height. Wally is saying something as he rushes in but his speech bubbles have been blanked out.

Two comic panels from Justice League of America (2006) #11 in a realistic but sketchy art style, focused in on Roy’s face which has a few bleeding cuts and his face is scrunched in pain. He’s in his Red Arrow suit. He looks up to say, “Mari, I keep a picture of Lian taped…hhhh…taped inside my quiver. It’s taking everything within me to keep from pulling it out and saving goodbye. Dig. Please.” He closes his eyes and winces with strain.

A comic panel from Outsiders (2003) #19 showing Lian’s bed from above with golden evening light shining in. Roy as Arsenal is sitting on the bed with little Lian on his lap hugging his neck. His arms are wrapped around her, and his face is shadowed, looking haunted. Little movement lines indicate Roy and Lian may be shaking. Lian’s room is filled with shades of pink and brown, and her pillows are covered in several large stuffed animals of various species.

A cropped comic page from Justice League of America (2006) #11 showing two sketchy panels surrounded by black. Roy is in his Red Arrow suit, trapped under bent metal, his skin splattered with blood. He’s nearly lying on his stomach barely holding himself up. Roy’s narration box says, “But with a prayer,” and out loud he says, “Lord, please watch over Lian--” The next panel zooms in a little but his face is still unclear. His narration box says, “And as I lose myself to the darkness--” Out loud, he continues, “--please keep her safe--” then his narration box continues, “--as the wet ceiling presses its foot against my head--”

A comic panel from Outsiders (2003) #20 showing Roy and Lian laying on a brown coach with their eyes closed. Lian’s head is resting on Roy’s chest, while his hands gently hold her elbow and back. A yellow narration box says, “They could stay close to home.”

A comic panel from Teen Titans/Outsiders Secret Files 2003 showing Roy and Lian hugging. Roy is in his Arsenal suit and his face is blocked from sight by Lian’s hair. Lian says, “Daddy, I don’t understand. Donna was your heart and you love her and now she’s become a ghost or something. How will your heart be happy?” Roy says, “Because, etai yazi, you’re my heart. And I love you.”

#roy harper #lian harper #had so many other cute panels I could add but they didn’t fit and it was too long so. happy Father’s Day. REUNITE THEM PERMANENTLY!!!! #arrowfam #red arrow #arsenal #outsiders (2003) #titans (1999) #tt #my edits #edits #heroesriseandfall

[orkbutch]

So, I'm not really in the weeds of Transgender Discourse on the internet (I have a life and also care about my mental health) but I've seen something discussed here about trans masculinity and I wanna talk about it.

I'm very masculine. I'm butch, I'm trans masc, I've always wanted to be masculine and I feel most comfortable when I'm presenting as such. Without much effort or any intention on my part I am read as a cis man day to day. Because I don't present more fem, in queer spaces I am read and recieved as a man, maybe trans, probably into other men. People do not even consider if I'm a butch lesbian unless there's Significant context indicating it. Because of this I'm viewed through 'Man Lens'; It feels a different if I say 'bitch', if I talk about my attraction to women. I don't get smiled at, people put physical distance between me and them as much as possible.

This is familiar for a lot of trans masculine people and trans men that aren't androgynous/fem leaning in their style, and it is an upsetting change to happen. It makes us feel judged or misunderstood to suddenly be causing this wariness in others; it feels prejudiced. I've seen people putting words to this like transmisandry. This is something they want to lessen in their communities, so they don't have to experience this anymore.

Now, here's my opinion part: That's not going to happen. You cannot tackle the "problem" of people responding to your masculinity with wariness. They aren't controlling the wariness, they can't. More importantly, their wariness toward masculinity and what registers in their brain as "man-like" is well founded. It's based in lifetimes of experiences and trauma that has told them men can be very unsafe to be around, and that is true. Most men are cis, and cis men are the most threatening thing in this world to non-cis men. They are usually* socially privileged above others, more likely to inflict violence, more likely to abuse and murder others, are typically physically more powerful than others. Everyone thats not a cis man DEEPLY internalises a very rational wariness of men, and masculine presentation as an extension. Especially men that are strangers. (*This is of course different when we consider intersections of race, colonialism, classism, ect. But globally this generalisation is still pretty accurate.)

Honestly, I don't think this wariness towards masculine presentation is something thats useful or realistic to challenge. Like many internalised processes it's probably a good idea to examine it and consider its usefulness, but I think it'd be easy to conclude that it is a useful wariness for people to have. Women have lots of reasons to be wary around men, including the unique threats of transmisogyny. Queer and gender deviant men have lots of reasons to be wary around men. This is The Reality of patriarchy.

Personally, the place I've come to with how women and queer people react to my masculinity (which is not entirely negative btw, the wariness is just one aspect) is that... I understand their wariness. I have it too, toward those my brain assumes are cis men. I cannot control how they feel or what they think about me. I can only be respectful to others and to myself and live my life. I flag my butchness where I can, I make my gender clear to those it matters to, and the rest I accept as largely beyond my influence. All of us have to do this in some places in our lives.

Even though my masculinity makes other queers wary, I have lots of friends! I've had no real trouble dating or finding intimacy. Initial wariness is just that. Once you understand each other, break the barrier, its usually settled. For anyone who finds my masculinity so offputting that we can't break the barrier, I'm glad neither of us put each other through that discomfort. I understand where a fear like that comes from. I will still hold community with them because that's what solidarity entails.

Anyway thats my ramble about masculinity in queer community, good bye until another. who knows how long

#back on the tumblr diary #personal #edited the section about women having reasons to fear men and transmisogyny; poorly phrased lol.

[halfagone]

Is Good Parents Maddie and Jack Fenton even possible?

Specifically, would they be able to change their mindset after over twenty years of bigotry and scientific curiosity?

If they saw their human son turn into Phantom, would they still think of him as their kid? Would they love him, accept him and support him?

I, personally, can't see the canon reveals as anything but a kid friendly compromise of giving the viewers the satisfaction of a reveal and keeping the status quo of the light-hearted show going.

But with everything the Fenton parents did, said, and invented... is it possible for them to turn their backs on their research and start from scratch? To admit that they were wrong after decades of being called quacks, crazy and idiots?

The only thing they were right about was the existence of ghosts, but now they endangered the whole world by building their portal that half-killed their son and traumatised millions of people.

So. Is it possible to write a Good Parents Jack and Maddie fic that doesn't shy away from all the awful things they did and how would you go about it?

Thank you for your time!

The short answer: Technically? Yes. Realistically? Probably not.

The long answer: Everyone is capable of change but not everyone will. For all intents and purposes, they are capable of growing as people and learning to recognize their mistakes and biases and leaving those behind... It just likely wouldn't be a simple flick of a switch. At the same time there is reason to believe that the Fentons wouldn't change their minds.

You said it yourself, over twenty years they've acted like this and so logically you would begin to assume that's just how they've always been and always will be. That shows this goes far beyond their parenting style and skills, and has everything to do with who they are as people.

(Buckle up, this one's a long post.)

We don't actually know all that much about the Fenton parents in canon. We don't see any grandparents or relatives other than Aunt Alicia. Although we have headcanons as a fandom that Jack and Maddie have ghost-related trauma, or it's a family tradition from the Fenton side with Jack Fentonightingale, to explain why they've always been like this, that is still no canon confirmation. (Fentonightingale was a witch hunter, not a ghost hunter after all.)

As far as we are aware, for one reason or another, one day Jack and Maddie started to believe ghosts were real and not just real but malicious. I may not be a scientist by career but even I can tell you they've failed in their duties as scientists the moment they chose their hypotheses over the evidence. That is literally something they teach you in high school science class; you ask a question and then research for evidence supporting that question. (Otherwise known as the "if... then" statement.)

Sometimes that means your first assumption was incorrect, but the evidence cannot be changed. So to me, the Fenton parents aren't ghost scientists, they're ghost hunters and those implications have connotations all of their own. And those connotations reflect poorly on them. And this isn't even to mention their general lack of workplace safety.

When we look at their friendships- they have no friends. They had Vlad in college, but they fucked up that relationship and don't even seem too broken up about it. They hadn't spoken to each other in twenty years until the reunion, and they obviously knew he'd made something of himself; Jazz recognized his name from Billionaire of the Year I think the magazine was supposed to be or something.

When Jack explains what happened to Vlad in "Bitter Reunions", he literally mentions how he thinks Vlad has forgiven him now. So obviously he acknowledges that what happened between them was due an apology.

Do you know something that's noticeably absent? A single apology from either Jack or Maddie. Yes, Jack might be more at fault in his accident, but Maddie ignored him for twenty years too. Vlad can talk whatever crap he'd like about Jack, but Maddie is just as culpable in his 'abandonment' as her husband is. We have proof from "Masters of All Time" that Maddie isn't afraid to go behind her husband's back and do what she wants. If she truly cared about him, she would have made an effort and she never did.

But of course, now we have to talk about them as parents. That's where things get... a lot more complicated.

In "Maternal Instincts" at one point Maddie is shown carrying Danny piggy-back style. It's never explained, it's not played off as a joke. Danny isn't injured and neither is he faking an injury. It's literally just something Maddie did, probably with the idea that she's taking care of and protecting him. And Danny isn't embarrassed by it at all, even when he's been shown to be ashamed of some of his parents' other antics.

In "Girls Night Out", Jack takes Danny fishing as a father-son bonding activity. And I mean that literally, he got the idea from a book called 'Father/Son Relationships For Stupids!'. That might imply that he's a bad parent but that also goes to prove that he's aware of his shortcomings as a father and is genuinely trying to do more for his son. Not everyone comes to parenthood naturally, so for Jack to actively search for advice- even if it comes from a book- says that he wants to do this parent thing.

But in my opinion, the episode that best reveals how the Fentons function as a family is "The Fenton Menace" (and no, that's not just because my blog description references it lol). In that episode, we see Jazz's failings as a supportive sister almost from the very start; in her opening narration, she talks about how she knows his secret and yet when he insists through and through that he sees a ghost, she still thinks she knows better/otherwise. We also get a touching moment where Maddie talks about spending quality time with the people you love (which is a line almost word for word from the show, by the way).

However, there are two things that stand out the most from this episode. This is the episode where we get the line: "Whether it's air, land, or sea I won't stop until we capture a ghost and tear it apart. Molecule by molecule." In response to this, Danny gets visibly upset. It is probably one of the most damning pieces of evidence in the entire series that his parents' behavior genuinely bothered him. He makes jokes about them shooting or experimenting on him, but humor can and often is used as a coping mechanism. After that quote? Danny didn't try to hide his reaction until later on when Jazz asked him. And even then he dismisses it with a quip.

The second thing from this episode also so happens to feed into my main point for this entire argument: This is the episode where Jack and Maddie attempt to 'spin the crazy' out of Danny. That kind of behavior is something you'd find in places like Arkham Asylum, which is notorious for their inhumane treatment of its patients. Decidedly not something you expect to see from supposedly loving parents. That absolutely constitutes as cruel and unusual punishment and yet it's not even meant to be a punishment.

They sincerely think that they're trying to help him by doing this. And that's the heart of the issue, in my opinion. Jack and Maddie don't think about other people. They don't think about their feelings or their safety or their privacy. They are so caught up in the idea that they are doing good that they never stop to think that they're part of the problem. Or the entire problem altogether.

The only time that we get some decent self-reflection is during Reality Trip, when Danny's identity is revealed by Freakshow and the Fenton parents and Jazz are taken as hostages. While they're stuck and trapped, they question why Danny had never told them his identity before, which is when Jazz comments about the poor way they used to treat his ghostly side. It's only then that it clicks for them that oh yeah we did that. That's what it took for them to recognize that their actions have consequences and even with good intentions, you are capable of hurting the people you love.

And I think that's one of the best ways to go about it. You need to give them the time and opportunity for that self-reflection and reclamation. Jack and Maddie are- naturally- a shoot first and ask later (if ever) type of people. One way or another, there needs to be a way for them to pull back and sit and look around for once.

There are many ways to address this too and make way for the possibility of Good Parents Jack and Maddie. One of the fics that immediately comes to mind for me is @akela-nakamura's Not Everything Is As It Seems. In this one we focus on Jack's perspective, and this fic made me So Unwell with its quiet gravitas, I can never recommend it enough. But if you want something from Maddie's perspective, then you can read @peachdoxie's incredible Trust Your Instincts fic. It is 36 chapters, already completed, and it's this beautiful journey through Maddie's Outsider POV.

As for me personally, I explored the subject in Chapter 51 of my fic lex luthor's ascent from supervillainy to fatherhood, Interlude III: Dynasty. We actually get two different reactions from the Fenton parents, one that is more from a 'Good Parent' and one from a 'Bad Parent'.

I think the most important part is to never shy away from talking about and exploring all the horrible things they did and have done. It's difficult to discuss, but the subject is complicated and to address it as anything less than complicated wouldn't be fair to those moments where the Fentons genuinely did want to be there for their children.

Does it make any of their behavior right? No. Does it prove that they can change? Yes. Will they? ...That will have to be left up to each individual writer.

If you found yourself in a similar family situation, of course you're gonna want your family or your parents to grow or choose you. Because you love them, and you want to keep them in your life. But at some point you have to think about yourself and your own safety and health. That doesn't mean you give up on them, but you protect yourself from the fallout in case they don't change.

Every person is capable of it, but not every person is willing to. The Fenton parents are no different in that regard.

#halfagone replies #bad parents jack and maddie #danny phantom #character analysis #i guess??? #character study #that's more like it

[art]

Creator Spotlight: @loish

Lois is a digital artist who divides her time between creating personal art and character design work. She has released three books, all successfully funded through Kickstarter. You can find her work on loish.net. We asked her a few questions about her art process, style, and inspiration! Check out the interview below.

Did you originally have a background in art? If not, how did you start?

I started posting my art online when I was around 16, although back then, it was more small artist communities and deviantart. I went on to study animation and then started working as a freelancer after graduating! So I do have a background in art but have been actively sharing my work for much longer.

How would you best describe your style?

I guess I would call my style semi-realistic feminine art inspired by Disney and Alfonse Mucha! I think the semi-realism is key - it’s cartoony but still has many elements of realism that put it somewhere between the two.

What is one habit you find yourself doing a lot as a creator?

A habit that helps me a lot is getting annoying tasks out of the way early in the day. I go through email and tasks before I get started on my art so that I can just focus fully on my art when it’s time to create. I just want to zone out while I’m drawing and not be distracted by other things!

How do you want to evolve as a creator?

One thing that matters a lot to me is making more and more time to do what I truly love and want to do, and be able to share that with others. So I’m trying to prioritize personal art more and more, and in the future, I’d love to just dedicate all of my time to that.

Which 3 famous artists (dead or alive) would you invite to your dinner party?

I’d have to go with some cliche answers and choose some old dutch masters: Vincent van Gogh, Rembrandt, and Vermeer. I’m so curious about their lives and ways of thinking. I’d want to know whether Vermeer really used a camera obscura, what Rembrandt thinks of animation and film (since his work was so dynamic), and just break the news to Vincent that he is one of the most appreciated artists of all time. And I’d want to know everything about what life in Europe was like during the years they were alive because I’m a bit of a history geek.

What are your file name conventions?

I name the file with year first, month second, then date. After that, I give it a name. So something like: 20220809_plant_studies.psd. That way everything is chronological, but I can also search by name if I forget when I drew it!

What is the hardest part of your process?

Honestly, the hardest part is just getting started and moving beyond the blank canvas. Once I’ve set my mind on something, the rest is manageable. But figuring out what I want to do, and dealing with all the anxieties that come with wondering whether I can pull it off, is the hardest.

Who on Tumblr inspires you and why?

One of my favorite artists that I discovered on Tumblr is @moosekleenex. Their art is so flowy and beautiful, but the comics are always funny and relatable. And they’ve been at it for so long, still making new art all the time. Also, I bought a few of their prints in the past and got some free original art with my order. It was one of my best art purchases!

Check out more of Lois’ artwork on her Tumblr, @loish!

#creator spotlight #artists on tumblr #loish

[allycot]

f i n a l l y finished reading the novel (a stream of random crazy thoughts, sorry not sorry.) And I’d say that, as for me, it’s way, way better than the untamed that just feels like its vanilla version, to be honest (though I don’t mean that it’s completely bad.) I liked that I finally understood more details I missed out or did not know about earlier. I liked the author’s style and humour, the thing that even secondary characters seem unforgettable, and also the thing that there are no fully good or bad characters, i.e. everyone has the traits that you can love or hate.

of course, I like wangxian in my own way, and after reading, I got a weird thought like these two could actually be each other’s somewhat reflection. Though Lan Wangji looked like an example of “perfection”, still and cold, he seemed to wanting to do something reckless or something beyond his principles, while Wei Wuxian, being that one epitome of a mess, had thoughts about just having a peaceful life (that would include LWJ.) And I actually liked LWJ as a character himself, i.e. even out of wangxian, as I liked him in all its adaptations. He seems to be deeper than just a human version of an iceberg (a special “I feel you bro” moment when he gets drunk, as, for certain reasons, I’m pretty sure it would be exactly me if I drank, though I’m not into it at all.)

it was a surprise for me to actually love the yi city plot, it could really be good even as a separate story. A more surprise for me was to like Xue Yang, who managed to become one of my favourite characters. He’s a bitch, but an interesting bitch. I can’t help but love the antagonists in this story.

I felt sorry for my baby Wen Ning who was punched/slapped/thrown away almost every freaking time he appeared in a scene, god. And I was glad that, in the end, he did decide to choose something for himself and it’s not just following WWX.

But.

Jiang Cheng will remain my very favourite character in the story. He literally seems one of the most realistic characters to me, who’s not perfect (and no one can be perfect actually), who is fucked up enough, but who’s also able to care about the ones he appreciates, and I liked this imperfection (or maybe it’s also a response of my inner self, who knows.) There were the moments when I couldn’t agree with his actions, but I also think he did not deserve any of that hell happened to him, to his family, to their Sect, and I felt sorry for him. And his line with WWX will stay the most hurtful to me. And as much as I like WWX as well and could understand his actions and motives when he wanted to save the ones who helped him, I won’t fully understand his decision just, eventually, to leave the person who was his family; to leave in the moment when he needed him the most in a very difficult period. Despite their disagreements and difficulties they had between each other. I guess it’s a clear example of what happens when you don’t talk to a person to solve whatever you two need to solve. And it’s very sad.

Actually, there are more thoughts in my mind, and they could be sorted, but when I write, most of the thoughts fly away.

#crazy thoughts #mdzs #mo dao zu shi #wangxian #lan wangji #wei wuxian #jiang cheng #wen ning #xue yang

[egophiliac]

Um…hello! Your art is like a HUGE inspiration to me how you draw everyone is so unique, I love it! So I just wanted to ask what inspired you and your art to what it is today?

(hopefully I explained that correctly ;w;)

oh my gosh, thank you! :D :D :D I've been feeling pretty down about my art lately, so this was a super nice message to wake up to! one of the easiest traps to fall into is forgetting that other people are seeing your art without all the baggage and hangups that your brain has given it, and sometimes...they might actually like it? hmm. 🤔 (seriously though, that really is incredible to hear, thank you! 💕)

inspiration is really really hard to put into words. so I apologize if none of this makes sense! :') a lot of it comes from looking at things I like, trying to break down what it is that I like about them, and smooshing all those pieces together into some kind of amalgamated homunculus. I'll see something that uses a lot of straights vs curves, go "ooh", and then just start throwing those in there until it is fully absorbed into the gelatinous mess that is Developing An Artstyle. or I'll see some pretty soft-style shading, go "ooh", and then decide I'm not meshing with it and try something else. just, like, being open and trying different things and seeing what sticks, I guess!

overall, I would say I was mostly shaped by the Western media landscape of the early 2000s, when anime was becoming more mainstream and starting to show influence on Western cartoons; I think particular works that influenced me were Sailor Moon, Utena, the works of Takahashi Rumiko, Samurai Jack, Batman Beyond, and Bone. (there's also the French movie Princes et Princesses -- which is itself a homage to The Adventures of Prince Achmed -- which...yeah, you can basically take one look at it and see the effect it had on me.) and there are probably a lot of other things that I didn't consciously realize!

on a more philosophical level, one of my teachers once said to me that "the art that you like to look at isn't necessarily the art that you should be doing". which is something I try to hold onto! I had been trying really hard at the time to be, like, a more realistic traditional-style painter, and was getting really frustrated because that kind of art isn't fun for me to do. it wasn't until I gave myself permission to actually try out different things and not lock myself into what I thought was the kind of art I should be doing, that I realized I actually just like drawing little dudes making weird faces at each other! (I definitely still have some hangups about this, but I am getting better at it! ...I hope!)

#just sort of (waves) general art #i guess #there is definitely some of the Career that leaks into things too #there's a couple of posts where i can point to exactly what project i was on at the time #whoops #tangentially i do think it's kind of funny when people describe my twst fanart as being not anime style #because my stuff in the non-japanese sphere of things often gets described as being anime style #i just think it's funny how relative it is! #two worlds...one family...

[max1461]

I'm terminally humanities brained, but I am kind of interested in pure mathematics and POM and generally just more mathematics oriented philosophy stuff/mathematics in general, I haven't studied any kind of maths since Highschool, how should I get into it? Should I read Quine?

Oh, this is a great question and I am very happy you have decided to send it to me! My answer reflects my particular views on mathematics and what it is all about, of course, so keep that in mind.

The number one thing I would like to convey about mathematics to someone coming from the humanities is that mathematics, far more than most fields, is something you do in addition to something you learn. Mathematical thinking has to be practiced, it is a skill that you train. If your primary interest is in philosophy of math, I'm afraid I haven't read very deeply on the subject and probably can't recommend a good starting place. Maybe... Russell? Look into Hilbert's program, and why it failed? But if you want to understand math "from the inside" instead of "from the outside", then you have to do math, and to that end I think "who to read" is the wrong question.

This might sound a bit scary, but I don't think it needs to be. Math is not so hard to do, although it is a very foreign type of thinking to those who are not practiced at it. In fact, this is why I think doing math is important even if your interests are primarily in POM; math is ultimately a human activity, regardless of e.g. what you believe about the ontology of mathematical abstractions, and I believe that in order to understand it fully (to have a picture of it beyond just its ontology) it must be understood as a human activity. Thus, one must do it, at least a little bit. It is, if nothing else, a whole realm of human experience all its own, and I think just about anyone would profit intellectually from spinning their mental gears in a mathematical way here and there.

Thankfully, there are many great places to start if this is your aim. I assume that what we're talking about here is "proof based" math rather than just calculation. To that end, a great introductory book is Velleman's How to Prove It, which will give you some guiding principles and many examples of how to approach a mathematical proof. Beyond that, I think you'll want to pick up an "entry level" introductory text (that is, an introductory text aimed at undergrads, etc.) on any math topic that strikes your fancy, and work through it—making sure that you understand the structure of the arguments (proofs), and attempting as many of the exercises as you can. The exercises are really the most important part. You cannot learn math without the exercises. You cannot learn math by reading it. The only way to learn is to try your hand at it yourself.

Expect your reading speed to be slow, and new concepts to be confusing. Expect to read things over and over, and fiddle with them in your head, before they make sense. Well, I mean, if you're anything like me or like most people. I think one of the biggest reasons people get turned off to math is that most of it just doesn't make any sense the first time you encounter it; it won't make sense until you've thought about it a lot.

One way or another, if you have a background in philosophy and are used to parsing and evaluating careful arguments, you will have a leg up on many people getting their introduction to proofs.

As for what topic to start with... you could always start with Euclid's elements, which is still a perfectly solid introduction to Euclidean geometry even after 2500 years. It does not quite meet modern standards of mathematical rigor (in other words, its proofs have gaps by modern standards), but realistically this is not a big deal: the basic thinking style is the same, and the gaps are somewhat subtle and technical IIRC, so I don't think it will really affect the beginner experience. On the other hand I believe at least a couple of Euclid's proofs are genuinely flawed (that is to say, they aren't just uncareful in their presentation, but are actually invalid in their structure), so maybe it's better to start with a modern work first.

Some books that I think are good for a beginner:

Graham, Knuth, & Patashnik, Concrete Mathematics — The focus of this book is on mathematical tools for computer science, but even if that is not your interest it's still a great book. It deals mostly with familiar concepts such as whole numbers and sequences (you might have encountered, e.g., the Fibonacci sequence), but is great for learning to problem solve and think mathematically.

Rudin, Principals of Mathematical Analysis, ("Baby Rudin") — If you want trial-by-fire. A lot of math undergrads have this as the textbook for their first proof-based math class, and it's notoriously challenging. Its topic is the field of real analysis, the rigorous foundations of calculus. I... wouldn't start here if I were you, honestly, but it's definitely a classic.

Some graph theory text. Some people seem to be recommending Wilson's, which has the convenient feature of being available online here. I haven't read it, but looking over it, it seems fairly gentle. There are a lot of pictures, and proofs don't enter the picture until a couple of sections in. Graph theory has the advantage of being very visual and having basically no prerequisites, so this might be a nice place to start.

Some abstract algebra book. If you're looking for a really clear presentation of the way mathematics is done today, starting with axioms and proving theorems deductively from them, etc., there is probably no place where it is more straightforwardly visible than in abstract algebra. The first math book I ever attempted was Herstein's Topics in Algebra; not the most beginner oriented, but certainly not inaccessible, and hey, it worked out for me! If this one is not to your liking there are a million books on e.g. introductory group theory you could look into, or the very canonical Dummit & Foote, or so on.

Uh yeah I think that's all I got. Anyone else feel free to put any more thoughts or recommendations in the reblogs!

#math #anon

[peculiarxafternoon]

pile 1 pile 2 pile 3

𝙙𝙤𝙣'𝙩 𝙬𝙤𝙧𝙧𝙮 𝙗𝙖𝙗𝙮 𝙮𝙤𝙪'𝙧𝙚 𝙗𝙚𝙖𝙪𝙩𝙞𝙛𝙪𝙡

(21st century girls themed reading!)

paid readings | ko-fi

hello, darlings! this reading is inspired by @rainbowwitchsworld who has kindly allowed me to use their idea. we'll be looking into which of your qualities shine the most, both internally and externally, that make people understand how truly beautiful you are! some advice may be thrown in there because i really can't help myself, but the focus of the reading is you and your unadulterated, unaffected by society's unrealistic standards beauty. shall we get into it?

take a deep breath and focus on your best qualities, whatever you truly like about yourself. then, pick a pile intuitively.

! for entertainment purposes only!

! constructive criticism and feedback are welcome!

! decks used: rider waite tarot deck, mermaid tarot, astrological oracle cards!

pile 1

(cards: the judgement, six of pentacles, eight of swords, page of pentacles, five of cups rx, three of wands, scoprio)

hello pile 1! the thing with you guys is that your soul shines through to your physical characteristics so much, that it makes a lot of people agree that you are conventionally beautiful, even if you yourselves don’t see it. you have this way of going about life that isn’t very cautious, yet it puts you in the position of a student. people find so much beauty in the way you see life’s ups and downs as lessons, and in the way you want to learn more and grow more every day. it’s definitely not an easy feat, but you guys just do it naturally, the “why”s and “how”s slip of your tongue subconsciously sometimes.

you also give a lot, whether that’s material things to people in need, or parts of yourself to the people you love. in the eyes of your close environment, you’re beautiful because you manage to be the first person they go to for comfort, when they know that they need to hear the truth, no matter how harsh it is. yet, you always manage to deliver it in a way that makes your people feel safe, and understood. when it comes to material things, gift giving may be your love language, as well as acts of service. trust me when i tell you that it is so attractive when you do the little things, without expecting much back: donating to charities, helping clean a friend’s home, taking your siblings to eat at a place they really wanted to go. it’s the smallest details that others notice that make you very attractive in their eyes.

beyond that, you may be the type of person who has struggled a lot in the past, and still struggles with their mental health and upsetting thoughts. even to the people who have met this side of you, simply the fact that you have been through so much and are still looking forward to the future deems you admirable. you may like going on adventures or may be a very expressive and loud person at times, especially when you get excited, which brings out a different side of you than people are used to. needless to say, that makes you attractive too!

physical characteristics-wise, you may have red or black features (black or red hair, redder cheeks or lips, darker or auburn eyes), which adds to a sort of sleeker and more mysterious look. people may pass you by on the street and do a double take, especially if your style leans more towards darker tones. i also got a message that you look good with sharp eyeliner on, but makeup isn’t something everyone is interested in so it may not resonate for all of you. still, if you have been curious about how you’d look, maybe this can be your push to try it out!

thanks for reading!

pile 2

(cards: five of cups rx (x2), nine of wands, nine of swords rx, the high priestess rx, nine of cups, saturnus)

hello pile 2! i think the major thing that makes you attractive is how you manage to overcome your obstacles. you are a very realistic person, who sometimes doubts their intuition (even though you have a lot of it), yet you manage to be grateful for all you have. people really admire how you not only act as an inspiration for them, but remind them to be grateful for what they have themselves. you hold a lot of inner wisdom (which is why you may doubt your intuition at times), and that makes others feel at awe. some even may come to you for advice often, but others may hesitate because you have a very direct way of saying things (still, that is attractive in its own way).

you have this “don’t fuck with me” type of energy that stems from all that you’ve been through. you have experienced a lot of loss in your life and may have struggled to bounce back after that, but you are now in a state that, even when you don’t feel your strongest, people are scared to cross you. this sort of intimidation draws some in and pushes some away, but i believe your beauty is a very rare one few people can appreciate. your smarts really shine through in all sorts of situations, especially because you seem to carry a lot of miscellaneous information within you. your beauty mostly resides in your brain, your thoughts, and how you view the world even after all the lessons you’ve been through.

some people may find you so attractive that they end up dreaming of you because of how much you’re on their mind. you probably have a couple cases of secret admirers, and they all adore the way you think. you act as an inspiration for many, with the way you present yourself, and even if their attraction isn’t romantic, they feel a certain pull for you that they can’t really explain. sometimes they may even think that you hold the answers to most of life’s problems within you, especially if you have strong saturn placements in your chart. still, the way you managed to pull yourself through the worst parts of your life is something so many people find beautiful, even if they don’t know you well; it seems to be embedded in your aura.

when it comes to physical characteristics, you probably have very nice hair, whatever that may mean for you (strong, thick, lots of hair, long, etc), and a very strong bone structure. your nose and cheekbones especially may be key characteristics of your face, as well as your jawline. you just look put together no matter what you wear or how you view yourself, and people really appreciate your sense of style, and the way you manage to express yourself through it. if you haven’t tried it already, wearing more earthly or dark tones, monochrome outfits and straight lines will probably suit you very nicely, along with pulled back or shorter hairstyles that show off your facial structure!

thanks for reading!

pile 3

(cards: king of swords, three of wands, page of swords, ace of pentacles rx, the tower, the moon rx, scorpio)

hello pile 3! some of you may have resonated with pile one, so maybe reading that will be helpful, but don’t worry if that’s not the case for you! you are a very sharp, witty and creative person, a quick thinker in cases when it’s needed, which is found to be very attractive to those around you. expressing your creativity and thoughts could be your ultimate goal in life, so much so that you’re pursuing a career or a field of study that usually isn’t as financially stable as others. you know you have a message you want to tell the world, you know you love creating whatever you connect most with, and you don’t care if that’s going to make you end up poorer than most in a society that doesn’t support the masses, anyway. oftentimes you may even use your skills and talents for free, which leaves a good impression on people, other than the fact that the find you and your art enticing and moving.

what many may not know is that your art is your way of dealing with things from your past that have hurt you, and that you are currently trying to let go of. if it wasn’t for your strong mindset and the things you create, you wouldn’t have been able to move forward in life. only those who truly interact with your art and understand it on a deeper level, especially if you write, will be able to understand where you come from and how important what you’re doing is to you. your smile shines brighter when you talk about your creations, and if people found beauty in you before, those who get to see this side of you become absolutely enamoured.

beyond your more romantic and artistic side, you’re a person always ready to broaden their horizons and learn from others. you may be very open with your thoughts, telling others what you think without hesitating. it may sting sometimes, being told you’re wrong so openly, but it’s beautiful to many nonetheless. they know that you will be honest with them, and they will hear your point of view regardless, while being reassured that their point of view is also seen. you may seem like the type of person who keeps to themselves sometimes and overshares on others, but those little glimpses into who you are help people discover more of your beauty and thoughts, slowly but surely.

you may have scoprio or strong pluto or mars in your chart, so you naturally exude a sort of intimidating vibe. you may be very experimental with your fashion and like wearing more experimental or weird sort of accessories. black and red may be colours you gravitate towards a lot, but you also may not be opposed to patterns and lots of colour for some statement pieces. you are also probably the type of person who likes finding weird graphic t-shirts and wears them ironically (think the “fish love me, men fear me”) kind.

thanks for reading!

! do not copy or repost my work!

#pac #pick a card #tarot #tarot readings #free tarot readings #bts #kpop

[adobe-outdesign]

if you’re reviewing neopets could you review vandagyre ? i’m not sure if this is unpopular or not, but their design just seems so…. soulless. it looks like a littlest pet shop, or any toy you could find at a claire’s. it looks like it was designed to be sold as a toy. plus some of their colors (mutant 😑) are not so good. anyway apparently i have a lot of opinions on them and i’m wondering if you do too

Being the latest species of Neopet introduced to the site, Vandagyre have always been somewhat contentious. I will say that I really like how TNT picked a panda bear as the basis for these guys instead of giving us cat or dragon or whatever. I also like that they have owl features mixed in, making them a neat hybrid animal that's not too close to anything that exists IRL. Visually, I also like how the cream areas break up the main color, and the little details of the stripes on the tail and wings. For the most part, they're a pretty welcome addition.

However, that said, there's just something slightly off about these guys that's hard to articulate. They just look very... stiff? And like, obviously they're going to look stiff, because a lot of pets post customization do, and the fact that we don't have a pre-customization version to compare probably only makes them look even more rigid.

But I think the issue goes beyond just the pose. Look at how the legs are just basically rectangles with no knees (see: how Blumaroos have a curved leg), or the complete lack of neck/sloped shoulders, or just the shape of the eyes in general and how they're not really centered within the eye rings. It's just very off.

Here's some excellent art by user synthaphone that, while intending to be a UC version, really shows off some of those underlying anatomy problems. See here how the legs have a knee and distinct foot, how the eye shape is different, etc. It's a world of difference—and there's no reason the "converted" version couldn't look as good as this.

Favorite Colours:

I think that Vandagyres also have a problem where a lot of classic colors just don't look that good on them. These reviews are focused on the positives, so we won't get into that here (unless you guys want me to). There are at least a few really good ones though:

Christmas: One of the best Vandagyre colors by a long shot, Christmas Vandagyres get a lovely winter cloak with multiple layers and a staff that makes its fist look less weird. It's Christmas-y without feeling too cheesy or overdone, with a balanced color palette and lots of good details.

What's particularly nice about this color is that the base (right) is based off a snowy owl and is quite nice in its own right, making it great for customization or just as a complete color.

Spotted: Spotted pets usually aren't anything interesting in the slightest, but this one's actually quite pretty. It's based off a barn owl, but not to the point of feeling overly realistic or out-of-place compared to Neopets' usual style. The subtle brown palette is also very nice.

Plushie: Admittedly I do think this one gets over-detailed in areas like the ears, tail/wings,that plant stitching on the arm, and the chest, but the overall look is still nice. I like how it manages to have a very colorful but coherent palette, and the amount of different colors and pattern fabrics make it a treat to look at.

#neopets #neotag #vandagyre #neopet reviews

[ashintheairlikesnow]

The Heretic's Confession, Chapter One

CW: Captivity whump, some... implications... references to branding. This is just me getting a feel for the idea and character, though, really.

-

The robes he once kept pristine are caked in dried mud around the hem. Grigory frowns as he inspects them, rubbing along the seam. It flakes away, leaving imprints of itself behind. 

Maudlin, certainly, but it feels like the stain of their sins painting his soul.

Maybe suffering can give even a man of the Goddess the sentiment of a poet. His lip curls in disgust at the very thought.

Please, please speak to me, Dromada. Tell your priest what he must do to escape this nightmare.

She is, and has always been, silent to his pleas for Her assistance. 

The Goddess the people worship may be a paragon of compassion and forgiveness, her sculptures solemn and grave with hands outstretched to embrace even the lowest-born of Her children, but Grigori is beginning to suspect the holy men have got it wrong. 

She isn't gracefully wise. She does not reach Her hand out to hold Her children. No, as each day passes without Her so much as whispering a reassurance, he begins to feel She is th goddess of laughter, and he is Her current favorite joke.

A knock at the door to his room - his cell, really, but of course they all like to pride themselves on keeping him in high style in his gilded cage - has him looking up, a little startled. The moon has only made half of its trek across the night sky, through the looping swirls of galaxies far, far beyond the reach of mere mortal men. That milky spin of stars, everyone knows, is where the gods live.

He wonders how many of them are looking down on him, sipping crystalline waters, and mocking his pain.

He would spit on every last temple step, if he could.

If he could just leave the fucking room-

“Brother Grigori,” His guest singsongs, half-dancing into the room. Grigory turns away from him, laying one palm over one of the iron bars that blocks any escape through the window. His fingers close slowly around it. 

“What do you want.” His voice is curt, it cuts short and sharp. “Bastard.”

“Oh, see you got my name all wrong again.” The leader of this little gang is tall - too tall - and all knees and legs, lean muscle making him heavier than he looks. Grigori is tall enough for a man, but he seems like he’s half-grown, compared to the bandit. The man’s hair is a shock of white atop his head, shaved on the sides, while Grigori’s curly brown grows to the bottom of his ears, as is prescribed for the priests. He swaths himself in black kohl around his equally dark eyes and shining black leather worn back to brown from age and ill-use at the knees and elbows. Grigori’s hazel and his dirtied robes look like a joke, placed next to the bandit’s appearance.  “It’s Bohli, remember? Or that’s what my mother calls me, anyway. Or she would, if she were still alive. She probably uses that when she curses my name from the heavens above, granted. I mean, probably, unless she really is suffering in the Dark After, like she deserves-”

“What do you want, Bohli?” Grigory’s head is already starting to hurt. “I don’t have time for this.”

“Nonsense. You have all the time in the world. You have nothing but time.”

“Not for… you. Please leave.”

“Nope. Not going anywhere. This is my house, remember? I just let you stay here.”

“Let me.” The words are sour in Grigori’s mouth. “Right, of course. Let me. Because I asked to be branded and trapped here in this room-”

“Hush. I take you for walkies every day, little god’s dog.” Bohli winks, and Grigori - who took a vow of pacifism, once - imagines stabbing his own knife through his eyeball until it comes out the other side of his head. “If you don’t want a leash, you just have to prove you won’t run off.”

He would, of course. Run. Outside, the woods stretch far and wide. There’s a path he could take to find a village, to find freedom...

Or… more realistically… to get arrested for being in league with Bohli and his bastards, which he isn’t, but everyone knows the goddess would save Her most faithful, and he’s been here too long. He would be branded a heretic. Everyone knows he’s a heretic. His own fellow priests would turn their backs on him. The people would burn him at the stake, for being defiled, degraded, a paragon of nothing but the filth they have covered him in. Little more than a bandit himself. 

Maybe he is one.

Dromada would have saved him if he were truly Hers to save. And instead, here he is, the infamous giver of absolution to the men and women who massacre whole towns in defiance of - in direct insult to - the power and might of His Majesty, the King.

No. he would be burned as an enemy of the King's, and he would have no standing to defend himself. A captive this long isn't a captive at all, in the eyes of the world.

Just a man who no longer wants to be saved.

Tears prick at his eyes, and he struggles not to let Bohli see them and mock him even more. It’s not like he hasn’t already been marked. It was one of the first things they did. Bohli had given the order and watched while they tied him down. Grigori himself had been made to look as they put the iron in the fire, made to watch them heat it to red. Bohli had been whispering in his ear when when they pressed it to his pelvis, and Bohli had cooed over him while he screamed, stroking through his sweaty hair.

“Just leave,” He whispers, the area aching all over again. They branded him over the symbol of Dromada tattooed, a mark of his vow of chastity.

Another one broken.

Maybe that was when She stopped listening.

“Oh, but I can’t, darling Grigori. I’ve come to make a confession.” Bohli laughs, and his laughter could make you bleed even better than his blade. But somehow Grigori can’t seem to die from the loss. “Isn’t that why I keep a priest of Dromada around, anyway? For to save my poor mortal soul?”

Grigori fights the urge to wish aloud someone would poison the asshole’s food. “You would burn if you touched the Hem of her robe.”

“Maybe.” Bohli shrugs, kicking a chair over and dropping down into it, loose-limbed. His eyes spark with delight as he takes in Grigori’s misery. “But you wear Her robes, and yet I never burn when I touch you-”

“Speak your confession,” Grigory snaps, his heart twisting and going briefly silent and still in his chest. He feels blood rush to his face, and Bohli’s peal of bright, brittle laughter tells him the flush isn’t going unnoticed. 

“Say it.” Bohli watches him, and it’s like being watched by one of the terrifying big cats that roam the woods just beyond this hideous prison. Unblinking, a predator’s stare. “Say the words, priest.”

Each time he does, they feel more bitter on his tongue. 

But still.

Grigori draws the ruins of his robe closer around himself, and sits up straight. He swallows and sets his jaw. “Bohlinde hir Maksma en Ygridsen, the goddess Dromada hears and forgives all from those who love Her. You have only to ask. Speak, child, and be forgiven.”

Bohli licks his lips, leaning forwards. Somehow, Grigori can’t make himself look away. The bandit leader’s teeth are sharp - those canines can rend skin from bone. He’s part-elf, they say, somewhere in his bloodline the half-mindless shrieking hordes of the elven race lurk. You can always tell, so it’s said, from the sharpness of their teeth. From how little they care for the lives of men.

Maybe he’s half-elf.

It would explain why he’s so fucking smug.

“Forgive me, Dromada’s Chosen, for I have sinned against Her,” Bohli says, and he doesn’t even try to feign sincerity. Why he even plays this game, when Dromada isn’t a goddess for the elves of their wretched offspring to begin with, is beyond Grigori’s understanding.

Grigori fights the urge to sigh. He makes Dromada’s Sign, wondering if it even calls to Her any longer. If She even feels the spark of a follower’s call, or if he’s cut off from Her entirely. Who hears him when he prays?

Does anyone?

“How have you sinned against Our Mother, She Who Gave the Waters?” 

Bohli licks his lips. His smile is a little too wide, shows too many of those sharp, sharp teeth. He'd be blisteringly handsome, if it weren’t for the sight of fangs where none should be. “I won’t lie, Brother Grigori. I set some stuff on fire yesterday. And I’m going to do it again. Will I be forgiven?”

Grigori imagines the mud climbing higher and higher up his robes, pulling him into the earth, forcing itself down his mouth and pressing over his eyes. He imagines the gods in the sky, looking down from their stars.

The image shatters with the memory of first sitting at the table with the dozen or so of Bohli's favorites, each of them smiling at him, while he sat in his pure white robes and felt himself bared, as if naked, before them.

Until Bohli had given the order for what to do with him.

“Dromada forgives all who seek Her,” Grigori intones, thoughtless. The words memorized before he was even thirteen years old, before he was old enough to take his vows. Before he was taken, and they were all broken, one by one. Bohli loved breaking Grigori's vows. “You have only to ask.”

“Good.” Bohli’s voice drops low. He has to focus to hear it, which is probably the bastard’s entire point. “Because I really, really love asking, and I love the sound of your answers.”

The bandit stands, walking over to him, putting one finger under his chin and forcing Grigori to look up - and up, and up, and up - to see the demon smile.

Grigori is sure, as Bohli watches him with his head tipped to the side and his black eyes as bright as the stars, that he can hear the goddess laughing.

#whump #new whump #the heretic's confession #captivity #captivity whump #intimate whumper #creepy whumper #fantasy whump #some weird fantasy race stuff happening here #just go with it #religious whump #religion whump #fantasy writing #bohli is a bad bad man #grigori is just a tired blorbo

[katyspersonal]

i saw your post about your predictions for messmer and they're all interesting, so do you think Messmer would be one of those fromsoft "irredeemably villains" or he would have shades of grey like Martin's main characters ? if i am not mistaken Myazaki said something about Messmer being one of the characters GRRM wrote for the game.

Thank you for the compliment @ first anon! And yeah, I assume that Messmer counts as one of the characters that Martin wrote, referring to the bit of interview @val-of-the-north helped me to find just yesterday!

( x )

Miyazaki and Martin really write their 'villains' differently, huh? My observation is, Fromsoft style is more along the lines of "Yeah this character done shit beyond the very scope of how us simple humans can even define a sin or crime, but also allow us to present it all in such a confusing, existential, grand scheme manner that you'll doubt whether character is truly in the wrong. Heck, is ANYONE in the wrong? In fact, what if the worst people are the best? What if no one has the real choice anyways but to pick their own poison? What if the most atrocious decisions are actually the most heroic? What if-

YEAH YEAH whatever shuddup. Martin really feels more common "This character having been a victim doesn't excuse their crimes but also this character's crimes don't make bad things that happen with them right". And so far I've noticed that Elden Ring's writing of the 'bads' falls MORE on Martin's side, even if some previously familiar tropes are there!

I'll use Mohg as volunteer! Mohg is presumably a sex offender, towards his half-sibling too, but you can't help but feel bad for him being raised in the severs and alienated from his family as abomination save for his twin brother that expresses results of such oppression differently, but you can't really excuse anything! If Elden Ring was a pure Miyazaki's creation, no Martin's involvement, execution of his "morality" would go more like: when Mohg was trapped in the severs he saw a dream that actually revealed the true meaning of this world to him and now he knew only one way to end the pain like he and Morgott experienced and fix the world to the better existed, which was to get into a system Greater Will set up and become a consort for the only available Empyrean, was he REALLY in the wrong to choose one crime to end many ooooo something something train dilemma maybe he'd be a way worse person if he learned of the one way to fix the world and still did nothing clinging to a morality that doesn't matter in the grand scheme of things OR MAYBE DOES IT OOOOOOHHHH

Basically the latter vibe is not something I am seeing in the big bads of Elden Ring as much! They ARE morally grey, justified or not justified not by some transcendental existential matters but by combination or their very close, very realistic circumstances and how they've reacted to them! The debate on whether character is redeemable boils down to how much agency one can have in this or that situation more than the "horror of knowing your choices"! So, I expect Messmer to be "morally grey"! Maybe whatever he did, under assumption that he DID do something bad, came from his own flaws but he'd have a point in his own way. Or maybe he was done dirty in his life and:

As for whether he'd be worse than Mohg? I think he COULD be! Mohg kidnapped Miquella in his stasis and is now worshipping his "dead" flesh in his madness. The only worse thing to do would be to like, annihilate Miquella, which I CAN see Messmer potentially doing! He spoke with a disdain towards being devoid of Grace from how I've interpreted it, which Miquella did do:

Okay, okay, maybe we will NOT get a dramatic scene of him obliterating Miquella just before we got a chance to do anything, that might be a stretch! Let's HOPE that won't happen! But there could be an attempt, or he could be holding him hostage like @alma-amentet said. AND there could be a general sentiment by Messmer having a very...... awkward position regarding existence of those he deems less worthy or unequal (by being devoid of Grace in this case) that passes beyond the level of simple oppression, let's JUST call it that fsdhfhsd

And, again, there of course would be some "reasoning" behind that attitude that'll leave space for debates! Like maybe Marika herself hardcore trained him to be this way before leaving, and he had no real means to reconsider being in isolation from the 'real' world! Whatever made him this or that way, as a bad/worse person is not a result of Eldrich madness or sense of the world ending anyway, but something very understandable and human. Sympathetic, even! I can already imagine the "he had no chance for a perspective change or more information, but it is still what it is, so he is still terrible even if not willfully" sentiment! Or something close!

_________________

Okay thank you for the asks, but I must admit, it's been 8 years since I touched Martin's writing and my memory might be failing me with some specifics! And, of course, the difference between Miyazaki-only writing and Martin being involved is not that drastic, I've just tried to maximise it to actually make a point! It is still a collab, and I am betting more on Martin-style approach with Messmer; this is just my version of what his critical flaw could be if it WILL happen!

#ask replies #elden ring #elden ring dlc #messmer the impaler #that being said guyyyys.. I think from now on I'll avoid asks about trying to predict DLC stuff #I am extremely bad at it and my style is to just take what is already here and nurture and analyse it! #so yeah trying to predict something even just for fun fries my already tiny brain fdsgfdghfds

[wearethewitches]

ik aylin is super popular on tumblr for being a tall beefy lesbian but can we talk about how lucky she is to be with isobel? because? damn…. isobel is just??? so beautiful, smart, witty and selfless? and loves with all her heart?? need more love on tumblr for her honestly, i have the biggest heart eyes EVER I’m with Aylin with the “THATS MY WIFE!!!!” energy i love isobel ❤️❤️❤️

you have come to the RIGHT PLACE my dude, Isobel is my favourite beyond all favourites, i think i'd love her even if Aylin didn't exist -though of course our favourite "THAT'S MY WIFE" energy golden retriever angel is her girlfriend. of course. best part of their relationship is the various dynamics of cute, immortal/mayfly and clearly noblewoman/normal woman. kudos to you if you figure out how that works both ways. and they're both moon lesbians. an EXTREMELY fun concept, and i love addressing both that AND Isobel herself.

Isobel as a person is just indescribably great. she's the perfect stereotype of a queer woman in a bad situation because her family absolutely hates her partner, but who actually gets a happy ending; and not only that, she has an established career, moral code & religion, fashion sense AND epic magical powers, plus a bonus Un-Bury Your Gays. she's sassy, and brave in the face of danger, and has realistic expectations of the people around her - even Durge, who can legitimately freak her out, which is a fun thing to snack on. realistic expectations set getting broken and then freaking out is a legit reaction. she genuinely expects the best in everyone and is betrayed when they betray that expectation.

that^^^^ is what i call having a personality, which so many women in fiction and video games lack beyond surface level (and let's face it, this kind of characterisation is why bg3 won so many awards). the Isobel we know and love is a bunch of stereotypes that were shaped into a person who is worth the love and attention we give her - the best part being how there is so much of her, meaning we don't have to make up backgrounds and write a bunch of fic (though we do, anyway, of course).

she's also canonically smol. which i adore. with white-blonde hair and FAR too much emo makeup in exactly the style so many of us wish we could pull off. also her fit is on point and while i intellectually know her waistline is the same model as most women in the game, i love it, and i love the art that makes her a Normal Shaped Woman, but still has her being tiny beside her hunky wife.

love answering this ask!!! always love my anons 🥰

this is blatant Isobel Thorm propaganda. ask me more about her.

#isobel thorm #bg3 #baldur's gate 3 #asks #asks from the void #aylin x isobel

[yellowhollyhock]

raph vs a volcano day 20

The 1987 episode plot:

Donatello's health scanner predicts Raphael has only 24 hours to live. Raphael goes around doing good deeds and taking ridiculous risks because he's gonna die anyway. Meanwhile Donatello figures out his machine didn't work right and means to tell Raphael, but you see he is distracted doing good deeds and taking ridiculous risks. It culminates with Raph inside an active volcano (trying to stop it from erupting? bro??) and his brothers have to come rescue him.

I love this episode. For so many reasons.

1) What an interesting way to give Raph his role while keeping him in character within the new role they gave him for this show. Because Mirage Raph is the guy who always wants to help without pausing to think about whether they can. He's known for sometimes being impulsive and always being protective. And not just of his fellow turtles! He sees someone in trouble he wants to help. But usually in Mirage that's expressed with violence. So for the show they made the "crazy one" express the same traits through sarcasm instead and he became the witty one, and I love how future Raphs are both. And I especially love when 1987 Raphael himself is both

2) This is such a classic plot. It's like... the tribbles spoof/tribute or 'character gets kidnapped but acts so annoying they get released.' You know the kinds of plots I mean right? Our style of storytelling has changed (it's always changing) but tv shows in late 80s early 90s especially had these. You could pretty much guess the plot from the title because you know the characters and you know the story. The exciting reveal is mostly the jokes. There are words for what I'm saying but I haven't had an english class in a few years, so take this ramble and trust me. It's a beautiful example of whatever this is. And!

---2a, It doesn't have the classic resolution that 'character thought they had one day to live due to a misunderstanding' would have on a kids show. There isn't a 'moral' about seizing the moment and using your time wisely. There also isn't a moral about communication, so instead of the miscommunication being annoying like it would in a preachy episode, it's gloriously hilarious to watch

3) Speaking of that, the obligatory 'he tried to ask' scene is Raphael watching Michelangelo cry on Donatello's shoulder because "I'll miss him so much" "I'm sorry there's nothing I can do for him" it's the oven. The oven is broken. Michelangelo is sobbing in Donatello's arms like his world is ending because they're going to have to get a new oven because this one's beyond fixing. And Raphael fully believes that Michelangelo is begging Donatello to fix him, when this version of Donatello is so very none medic. Like I don't even know how to describe why and how much I love this scene. I think I killed english

4) The scene of Raphael in the volcano. I just. He's so funny. This episode really captures what I love about the whole show, which is that I am absolutely buying into it and feeling deeply about it, and simultaneously enjoying it ironically. Does that make sense? When you can put your whole heart into unironic enjoyment but your brain at the same time gets it's 'make fun of this' treat. So both types of fun at once.

---4a it's not trying to fix the plot holes it's enjoying that in this format you don't have to. I feel like this is severely under utilized in modern cinema. make things not make sense on purpose for fun. don't explain about where they are, how they carried that object with them, why there were not other consequences for certain actions. The fun thing about stories is they don't have to be realistic unless you want them to

so for today I had intended to write a Rise version of this episode. I think it would work well for them. Plus, Raph and Donnie bonding. However. That is going in drafts and will be coming. later (march for raph is my opportunity to collect drafts for the rise turtles apparently.) I'm actually still debating if Donnie would make a health-o-meter or if something goes down in witch down, but either way, ❤️💜

#tmnt #tmnt 1987 #rottmnt #march for raph