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camazofenwa · 1 year

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I have finished The Owl House. I burden you with my thoughts.

Pretty much binged all of Owl House last week. I knew it was probably something good when it kept breaking into my orbit when it was airing, and I was super not disappointed. Fuck an actual review though, Ima talk about the characters. Also spoilers rampant.

Adorable weird child. Optimistic without being insufferable, eccentric without being annoying. One of the most likable MCs I've seen in a minute. Loved seeing her whole journey, felt believable the whole time and I was rarely, if ever, questioning why she was doing something. The absolute worst thing I could say about her is that her palisman reveal was... I mean, I'm willing to admit that if they ever mentioned a snake shifter before that moment, I forgot. But even still, the whole "be anything you want to be" idea was kind of already communicated with the fact that it was an egg. It doesn't really really matter all that much, the thing's only around for like 10 minutes maybe, it just stuck out.

Outside of that, love Luz. Stuff with her mom, her being critically gay with Amity, fun character. One of the best things about her is that she doesn't have to be a part of every single plot for the show to carry on. The cast and setting is strong enough to survive without Luz's involvement, and it gets stronger as the show goes. Great character.

Never have I seen squalor and hobo-esque behavior look so appealing. I don't think it's making waves to say she's the best character in the show. If "fuck it, we ball" was a person, they'd be shaped like Eda. I think it's sometimes hard for writers to make a character who's pretty much got it all while still being sympathetic, but they hit it out of the park with Eda. Strong, funny, likable, all wrapped up in a blanket of painful regret and an uncontrollable condition. That's why I wanna be when I leave my 20s and finally grow up.

I'll leave certain parts of her deal for another character later, but Eda just consistently gets the best stuff in the show. Her background, her VA, her character design ESPECIALLY Harpy Eda, aces. The only thing she's really outdone in is her romance subplot, and that's just because I actually got to see Luz and Amity's evolve. Love me some Eda.

There are two characters in this show that I predicted I would not care about in the slightest and would groan whenever they were on screen, only to grow to love them and enjoy their presence. This is the first.

King's deal about being small and cute while wanting to be big and bad inevitably gets old, but luckily the show knows that and pivots enough away from that at a certain point to keep in line with his own development. He has an ego and can be a dick, but it never feels like he's an irredeemable dick. I can tell he loves his family, and not knowing what or who he is becomes a very sympathetic plotline for him. Bro just wants a padre. Plus, he does have some other good comedic bits. There's hardly anything too bad to say about King, even if the big ego schtick isn't for you.

Him, Luz, and Eda all having their own unique but connected stories throughout the show helped me endear them to me a lot. Incredibly fleshed out characters that have arcs that go beyond just having emotional trauma or something like that. Great trio of main characters. Well. "Trio."

This is the second.

Fuckin' hated Hooty at first. Even if he was meant to be annoying, that didn't stop me from not wanting him on screen. I think him being this eldritch abomination canonically, combined with him being like an actually competent character helped to move him away from unlovable to me. Love me a dumb idiot who's good at their job, and damn if Hooty isn't a great owl house.

I think another thing that helped him out was his friendship with Lilith. They play off of each other fantastically, and you get to see a lot more of Hooty when he's paired with someone who appreciates him than you do just when he's a nuisance. Love a Hooty.

It's the biggest bitch in the uuuuniveeerrrrse!

Okay not really. Lilith in S1 was definitely on the top of the shit list for the whole "curse mah sister" deal, and I was of the opinion she couldn't fall far enough. But the show treats what she did with an appropriate amount of weight and she puts in the work to make up for what she did, even at several costs to herself. Whether or not that makes up for 30 years of suffering she caused Eda is... ya know, up for debate. She tries, though.

Once S2 kicks in and we get lame dork Lilith, I was all in. She's such a fuckin' nerd, it's almost impossible not to love her. Her dynamic with Eda is also a treat, one of the best duos in the show. Her being Hooty's best friend also does a hell of a lot to kick her into the good graces.

The worst thing that happens to Lulu is the fact that fucking what, four or five episodes into S2 they put her on a bus?! Like, okay, go spend time with your mom I guess, but we barely get any Lilith! Why are we forcing THIS one out of the house, she's wonderful! It kind of stays that way for the rest of the series, too. She doesn't get a lot of play near the end, and is definitely a character that says lines in S3.

Ah well. Still a treat.

#the owl house #owl house #ramblings #i'll probably do more of these for other groups of characters #there's a lot of fuckin characters in this show

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noelleai · 2 years

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Susie was tired of hearing her friend's sorrow, so she tried to help in the best way that she knew how. She didn't realize it would be such an emotional gesture on her part.

Noelle was crying. A lot. She'd been crying for some time, and it seemed as if there wasn't any end to it in sight. Not only had she lost her father to a life-threatening accident just a few months ago, but recently found out that her mother was going through chemo treatments again, all while dealing with school and being the third wheel between her two friends Susie and Kris. That was enough to make anyone feel like they were drowning, let alone someone who was already going through so much.

So when Susie came by at night to check up on Noelle before bed, she felt guilty about what she was about to do. It wasn't easy for her to see her friend so upset, especially since she could have prevented it all along if she hadn't made such bad decisions. But she couldn't regret what she did. And as soon as she saw the tears forming, she knew she had to do something; anything.

With a heavy heart, she walked over to her friend and sat down next to her on the couch. "Hey, Noelle."

"Yeah?" Noelle replied, wiping away her tears with a sleeve of her t-shirt.

"I'm sorry," said Susie.

"For what? I don't understand."

Susie sighed. "It's okay. You've been through a lot. And you're strong. Stronger than most people could ever be. So, you know...I'm not really sure what else to say except to try to keep your chin up. Try to stay positive."

Noelle nodded, her eyes still wet from the tears. She sniffled. "Okay. Thank you, Susie."

Susie smiled. "Anytime." She patted Noelle's shoulder and stood up, leaving her friend to cry in peace.

After Susie left Noelle's room, she wandered around the house, feeling a bit more empty inside than usual. As if trying to find some sort of comfort or reassurance, she picked up her phone, scrolling through the contacts until she got to one particular name that was missing for quite some time: Kris. After pressing the call button, she was brought directly to their voicemail, which she decided to leave a message for them.

"Hey, Kris. It's me, Susie. Listen, I know we haven't talked in a long time, but I'm sorry about everything I've done to you guys. I can't even explain why I acted the way I did back then. But now...now that things are different, I just want you to know that whatever happened between us doesn't matter anymore. I just wanted to apologize because I feel terrible about how I treated you both. If you ever want to talk, I'll always be here. And, well, no hard feelings. Just...no hard feelings. Bye."

She hung up, a smile appearing across her face. Her thoughts immediately drifted to Kris. She could imagine him looking up at her with those big eyes and cute little smile, his head tilted to the side in confusion. But she shook off this thought and continued walking around her home, thinking about what she should do. { TYPE: Short-form story * M2 }

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moonlitwritingst · 2 months

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Dear Friend,

I regret to inform you that us becoming friends means you are now involved in carrying this deadweight of emotions with me.

Even when you have your own emotional baggage to deal with. You still find time to help carry mine.

However there are also the many promises I made to you.

I promised you that everything is going to be fine. Unfortunately I was lying through my teeth every time I said it.

I promised you that I will seek out help. But instead I made no effort and remained a shut in.

I promised you that I will stop the self-harm, and throw away the blades. But I’m afraid to say that old habits die hard.

I promised you that I'll let you know the next time I need a shoulder to cry on, or an ear to be heard, or arms to comfort me. But instead I just kept my mouth shut.

I have made these promises so many times to you, and I have broken them more times than that.

All those times spent worrying for me, now gone to waste.

I know my idiocy and craziness causes you to have second thoughts about wanting to be my friend. Of course, it’s fine if you have those thoughts, and it’s fine if you make the decision to leave me behind. It would hurt to see you walk out of my life. No one has ever done that to me before. But regardless, I would understand.

I know I can be exhausting, upsetting, frustrating and can be too much to handle at times. That’s why I wouldn’t try to stop and change your mind. Fighting for our friendship would be a waste of time. Especially knowing that we’d go right back to where we were.

I may have been your worst mistake, but you will always be my greatest choice.

You just don’t know it.

Or maybe you do and you're only staying by my side because you feel sorry for me.

In spite of everything, you have helped me through a lot of my difficult times. Not only in many different ways but also throughout multiple times. Even when you have only been there for half of them.

But the one thing that hurts me the most is that even though you’ve helped me, you barely ask for anything in return. The only request you ask of me is to stay alive. Although it may not seem like it, I really am trying to stay alive for as long as I can. You are my reason to live. But you go through too much for my own well-being.

But if I can’t uphold your request. Just know that I am expendable, I can be replaced, and I have no value.

Taking away my life would mean I can finally remove all of the unnecessary baggage you’ve carried for me throughout the years. But I know ending my life would only bring you more pain. Constantly reminding you of the good times we shared together, and the good times we will never have again.

Friendship is supposed to be a two way street. Friends make each other feel loved and appreciated. They care and look out for each other.

In my experience, sometimes a relationship between friends can be stronger and last longer than a relationship between lovers. That being able to love your best friend without wanting to be with them can give the term “love” a greater, more extensive meaning.

And yet I have tried so many times to end our friendship.

Losing a friend throughout time happens. Both of our lives going in separate directions. Situations like this can be easily forgiven. That is why I try to keep my distance from you so as time goes on and we grow further apart, you won't know when I've taken my life. So that when you do find out, it won’t hurt as much. There will be no need for you to mourn for my death for more than a couple moments.

I’ve never hated you, but I would go entire restless nights thinking about how much you hated me for the shit I’ve done.

You’ve told me that you would never leave my side because I helped heal the scar running across your damaged heart. That showing you the love I did means that you will never give up on me, even when I tell you I have given up on myself.

Removing myself from your life would be my final gift to you.

I'm sorry it's come to this, but I can no longer stand idly by and watch you being dragged down because of me.

So I say thank you for everything you’ve done for me and I hope you can forgive my decision.

Love,

Omega

#letter #writing #vent post

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waking-dreams-of-harmony · 3 years

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The Last Dragon

Below the read more I've posted 7 very small sections of a fic that is based on this beautiful and tragic fanvid. I got literal chills watching it. If you wanna sob over our queen and her son wanting to avenge his mother, give it a watch.

I don't think I'll ever go any further, as my writing had an unfortunate run in with a brick wall, which then toppled over it and crushed any urge to write the next bit.

It's not too terrible--though it could actually be total shit, I'm not known for my writing 😂--and it was just gonna gather dust on my laptop, so figured I might as well post it. This was one of my ways of dealing with that fucked up last season within the framework of the show. I dont believe this is Dany's end, and I loathe with every fiber of my being what happened to her and her found family. And after seeing that video, the idea of Drogon doing everything he could to avenge the mother he loved more than anything appealed to that anger inside me. So I'll understand if this isnt for everyone ❤

Chapter 1

Mother.

He flies, great black wings carrying them away.

Mother.

Sharp, massive claws curl in gently. Protectively.

Mother is gone.

The cold creeps, burning against his scales the way fire never has.

Mother don’t leave.

A whisper on the wind calls to him.

Mother it hurts.

East, it sighs. It smells of smoke, and fire. Hope.

He follows, wings beating faster.

They took you.

The rage flares, searing away the cold.

They killed you.

The heat of it bursts within him, scaled skin shaking with the strength of it.

Fire and blood.

Jaws stretch wide, and the air burns red with grief.

▪▪▪▪▪▪▪▪▪▪▪▪▪▪▪

Chapter 2

The sky bleeds red from the dying sun when Drogon reaches Volantis. The whisper that drew him there stops as he lands on an open balcony.

A woman stands before him, black hair and red robes flying up in the gust of wind from his wings. His claw gently opens, Mother’s cold body slowly sliding onto the hard stone.

Crimson, mournful eyes watch the red woman kneel by Mother, pale fingers hovering over her, not touching, for a long moment.

“I cannot bring her back, Drogon,” she murmurs, regretful.

He throws his head back, bellows fury and sadness into the sky. No, Mother, come back. I am alone.

A faint brush at the back of his mind--where Mother used to be, his brothers, the thoughts they shared together--grasps his attention. Makes him look back down at the red woman.

“I cannot give you back Daenerys Targaryen, but I can give you something else.”

His nostrils flair, and his head moves closer.

“I can give you the revenge you desire. As it stands, you may be able to raze the whole of the Seven Kingdoms, turn it all to ash, but that would not be what your mother wanted.”

Drogon growls, lips pulled up in a snarl. Sheep. All are sheep. Betrayed Mother. Killed Mother. No mercy.

She nods her head. Comprehends what he is unable to say out loud.

“Yes, they all betrayed Daenerys, took from her and killed her when her visions grew too great for their small minds. They could not grasp that the Mother of Dragons was above all a breaker of chains. She would have freed us all.”

She pauses, then continues, her voice hard. “They need to be punished. And they will be. But Daenerys’ dreams must be realized. Dragon’s Bay must remain free. The Dothraki cannot return to what they were, raping and pillaging. And the petty lords of Westeros must be laid low. Those who destroyed Daenerys must see their reigns come to an end not only by dragon fire, but by the unification of the people they have ground into the dust, unified against them.”

“A dragon has the power to do great things, but to lead men, to lead armies, that is the one thing you cannot do, Drogon. Not as you are. You must be more. And by the Lord of Light’s grace, you can become exactly what the people need.”

Drogon rumbles in frustration, steam billowing from between his sharp, clenched teeth. He doesn’t understand.

“Human, Drogon. You must become human.”

▪▪▪▪▪▪▪▪▪▪▪▪▪▪▪

Chapter 3

They take Mother, to clean her, he is told. Remove the dagger, her clothes. Wash the blood away.

The red woman directs him to fly from the balcony, down into an open courtyard below. A large fire pit rages with a towering flame. It warms him, feels like Mother’s hand caressing his scales.

Dragons cannot cry. A mournful moan makes his great neck tremble. Human. Perhaps he can cry when he is human.

People in red robes enter the courtyard, one after another, until they circle around Drogon. His tail twitches. Their closeness agitates him.

The red woman appears, crossing the circle to stand in front of the fire. Hatred fills him when he sees what is in her hands. The dagger stained with Mother’s blood. Coward. The coward’s dagger.

“I am sorry Drogon. It is a necessary piece of the ritual. Soon,” she soothes, “you will have all you need to begin your campaign against the traitors.”

Another voice brushes against that same place in his mind. That lonely place where Mother, Rhaegal, and Viserion once lived. Soon, it too promises.

The red woman turns her head, scans the other acolytes before catching Drogon’s eyes.

“Let us begin.”

Voices hum together in chant, and the sky is filled with an agonized roar.

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Chapter 4

Drogon.

He groans.

Drogon, my love.

Everything hurts.

You cannot sleep forever, my beautiful boy.

He moves his head slightly. Cringes at the sharp pain.

Wake up, Drogon.

Mother? Why does everything hurt so much?

It’s time.

The voice begins to fade. He reaches out a hand, slowly, to make it stay, and freezes. He has a hand. A human hand.

Fingers curl into his palm, and the nails scratch against his skin, bite into it. His legs scrape against the stone as he slowly stretches out one, then the other.

He can still feel the fire to the side of him; it feels heavier, pressing on his skin but it does not hurt his flesh.

What burns more painfully is the missing weight of his wings. No flight for him now.

Cold fingers brush his shoulder, curve sharply to hold him when he recoils.

“Drogon?”

He doesn’t like to be held, or touched, no one but Mother, and his brothers, but they are gone. Gone, gone, gone…

“Drogon! It is only me, Kinvara!” The voice finally penetrates, and he stops pulling away.

Allowing for her help, he rolls carefully onto his back. Sharp pebbles dig into his skin. No scales to protect him anymore.

He feels her fingers move to his face, tracing the human features. “Open your eyes Drogon. See what the Lord of Light has gifted to you.”

Gift? No gift. Just more pain. Weakness. But he opens his eyes. The fire from the pit is soothing, warm. Warmer than...before. Would it burn him? His hand flinches towards it but he’s not close enough to touch.

He turns his eyes toward Kinvara. She is smiling, eyes reflecting the fire’s light.

She waves a hand towards an acolyte. “Bring me a robe. We must cover our dragon prince.”

Red cloth is laid over him, and two other acolytes help Drogon to sit. They hold him up as the other wraps the robe around him more securely.

Drogon grits his teeth, blood rushing angry and hot.

He tries to talk, mouth struggling to form the human words. “W-We—” He growls, tries again. “W-Weak.”

“For now,” she says. “But you will grow stronger, I promise you.”

Drogon struggles to stay awake, but bone deep exhaustion pulls at him, and his frustration wanes as he slips into slumber.

▪▪▪▪▪▪▪▪▪▪▪▪▪▪▪

Chapter 5

Four moons pass before Drogon is ready to set sail for Meereen. He was like a hatchling again, unsteady, vulnerable, and he hated it. Kinvara and her priests taught him the ways of his new body, how to eat and walk, to read their words.

Coarse fabric to wear instead of steely scales.

But now it is time. Time to search out Grey Worm. Daario. The Unsullied and Dothraki. Train with them and become stronger. Much stronger.

He knew how to fight as a dragon. Armies and castles were nothing against the heat of his fire. He must learn how to wage war as humans do.

Wrapped in a red cloak, hood hanging low over his face, Drogon is ready to begin.

▪▪▪▪▪▪▪▪▪▪▪▪▪▪▪

Chapter 6

They are waiting for him at the dock after the sun has set, Grey Worm and Mother’s sellsword, two silent figures who do not move, do not speak until Drogon stands before them.

Daario breaks the silence first. “Drogon?”

He pulls back his hood, unnaturally crimson eyes in a human face flashing in the near dark.

Daario sucks in a breath, then huffs out a laugh. “If the red priests had not sent word ahead, I may not have believed it. But by the gods, here you stand.” He reaches out an arm for Drogon to clasp.

He does so, hesitantly, but with a firm grip. Human greetings still puzzle him.

Grey Worm steps closer then kneels, bows his head bowed, fist pressed against his chest. “Ñuha dārilaros. Bisy qringaomatan īlva dāria. Īlon emagon ossēntan se nāpāstre skoriot pōnta iōrtan (My prince. This one failed our Queen. We should have killed the traitors where they stood.).”

Drogon does not know if he is asking for forgiveness or absolution.

Dragons have no real concept of forgiveness. He should be angry the traitors were allowed to live. But Grey Worm is kin, as the little scribe had been. Mother’s old bear too, and the white-haired knight. Everyone who had been under Mother’s protection, had been under her children’s protection as well. And would continue to be.

“Rise, Grey Worm.” His voice is rough and sharp edged, and it seems to startle the two men to hear him speak. “Those that hurt Mother, that used her and took her life will be punished as they deserve. But I need your help. So rise. Let us repay them with fire and blood. For Mother. For Missandei. For them all.”

He holds out a hand, waits.

Grey Worm looks up, eyes bright with unshed tears. His lips tremble, then firm. He takes Drogon’s hand.

▪▪▪▪▪▪▪▪▪▪▪▪▪▪▪

Chapter 7

They convene in Mother’s chambers, the map room he would never have been able to fit in before almost cavernous to him now.

Spread out around the table, the three men pull together a plan as they look down at the map.

First, they will weed out the opposition in Essos, solidify their hold in the east. Astapor, Yunkai, they will all come to heel, every slave freed. They would be as clever as Mother had been, keep the number of innocents lost as low as they could. Drogon would prefer to burn through the Good Masters, snap them up and tear them apart, but for Mother, he would be patient, and take the slower path. All the slavers would still die, and their victims would live, and live free.

But for what Drogon had planned, he needed steel in place of claws, armor instead of dragonhide. He needed Grey Worm and Daario to make him as fearsome as a human as he’d been as a dragon. And that would take time.

He ground his blunted teeth together; he hated waiting. Hated it. But let the traitors think they were safe for a while longer. It would be all the sweeter when he ripped that feeling of safety away, just as they ripped Mother away from him. His brothers. His home.

They would feel his pain. And then they would feel nothing at all.

#daenerys targaryen #drogon #mother of dragons #got au #team targaryen #team daenerys #daenerys appreciation #drogon appreciation #my fic #my moodboard

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everythingsinred · 3 years

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Let's Talk About NatsuMikan: Natsume (pt. 5)

I'm back on my bullshit. I decided I'd post these, once a day, four days a week. Then I'll go on breaks for the weekend to let interested readers catch up while also further writing more entries. At the time I'm posting this, for example, I'm in the process of analyzing Chapter 39. That way, it's easier for everyone to enjoy this essay. Which I hope people do.

Anyway, this can finally truly be called a ship essay, because one of our key players has FINALLY developed feelings! Going forward, Natsume's behavior will heavily feature his growing affections for Mikan. We'll be analyzing Natsume's self-preserving hesitation as well as his immediate instinct to give up any chance he has from the get-go.

Chapter Seventeen

Natsume next shows up to walk into Class B during a commotion of Mikan’s retelling of the Reo incident. The kids all gather around him now too to ask questions and press about his condition. One kid even asks if he should teach Mikan a lesson for bragging about his rescue. Mikan smiles at him, under the assumption that their shared trauma has brought them closer and maybe even made them friends, but Natsume’s response is to simply turn away and ignore her.

He’s still Natsume after all. This is the first girl he’s ever liked, and she used to be somebody he despised, so the change in feelings is probably very strange to him. He’s confused and possibly embarrassed. He doesn’t know what to say or how to act.

Can't have her getting any ideas that he's completely changed his mind about her or anything.

Most of the people that Natsume likes at the school (although that is just Ruka and Youichi… so… you know) know that he likes them. He spends time with them, is gentle with them, does things for them, and can openly say kind things to and about them. Mikan is different. He used to be her number one enemy, so all of a sudden switching gears and becoming her friend would be quite odd.

Over time, Natsume will find ways to be gentle and sweet to Mikan, but for now his crush is brand new and he doesn’t know how to act quite yet. He’d rather avoid her entirely, or pretend like nothing happened, than openly approach his new feelings.

Furthermore his behavior is always and under all circumstances inseparable from his status as Persona’s favorite and as the Black Cat. He may have some loved ones, but he keeps the number low and tries to avoid getting close to people for a reason. Naturally, nobody could ever really understand his experiences so there will always be a divide between him and the rest of his peers, but even more than that is that considering people precious turns them into targets.

Natsume has probably learned the hard way that displaying closeness and affection for his friends can have dangerous effects, so he might now think of showing that kind of affection as selfish or even cruel. Why subject somebody to something like that, merely because he has feelings for them? It’s not fair.

In either case, it’s really not that Natsume is naturally mean and cold. He just doesn’t trust his situation enough to properly act. It’s safer in every way to just pretend like nothing changed. It’s too much to deal with otherwise. But sooner rather than later, the hard thing will be staying away. Eventually, maintaining coldness with her will be almost impossible.

Chapter Eighteen

This chapter further touches on Natsume’s new-found crush and its consequences.

Class B is used to being in an environment where Natsume hates Mikan and is bothered by everything she does. He gives in to her slightly, in small ways, and it shocks his classmates. Now, it’s understandable that, even if he hadn’t developed a crush on her, he might still be softer to a girl who risked her life to save him, but it’s still odd.

Mikan recalls asking Natsume for help training her alice. She needs an offensive alice to nullify, so Iinchou or Hotaru’s would be ineffectual in training. Natsume is really the best person to ask, and, to everyone’s surprise, he actually agrees to help.

Natsume doesn't need any convincing to help her, but what did she think practicing with a fire alice would entail?

And yes it does seem like he’s only doing it to torture her, because his alice is capable of genuine bodily harm and his admirers snicker with amusement at his antics, but I can’t help but assume there’s more to it.

He doesn’t really hesitate to help. He doesn’t need convincing at all. In some ways I think he did genuinely want to help. Her alice helped save his life, after all. Why not repay the favor by using his alice to help her train? To him, there's a lot of value in her alice, so training it is beneficial in his perspective as well.

And later still, Mikan spots Natsume sitting amongst the principal students. He stands out, as an elementary student next to upperclassmen. This moment is a good introduction to the arc. His crush on Mikan only grows stronger as the festival goes on, but there’s something looming over him too--he’s different from the rest of them. He stands out so much during the festival. He’s a dangerous ability type who’s not allowed to participate while also being a principal who has to sit on the stage for the opening ceremony. That's horribly ironic, but also shows just how singled out and under the spotlight he is. It’s a huge part of why he acts the way he does, so cold and mean and distant despite his growing affections. It’s all he can do.

He may see potential for a future, but he’d be foolish to think he should be able to acquire it, because his current circumstances have not changed at all.

The chapter ends with Natsume being asked by Koko if he wants to try out the special ability class event. He’s looking towards the special ability area, and we can tell the next chapter will be fun.

Chapter Nineteen

And how!

Natsume is here to see Ruka, his best friend, but he’s also here to catch a glimpse of the girl he has a crush on.

Sumire is also there, and it’s interesting to see that Natsume hasn’t changed in his attitude around her either, even though she also helped save him. She tries to embrace him and he dodges her.

This catches some people’s attention and they start to whisper about his presence.

In the anime, this moment is a bit more potent, hearing the murmurs and seeing a darkness over the gossiping kids, but the manga still establishes that the people waiting in line are by-and-large unhappy to see him. They whisper amongst themselves, rudely asking why he’d bother to come here, but that gloom only lasts for a moment (one singular panel and then Natsume’s responding bitterness) before Mikan appears jumping over the wall, calling his name and even smiling.

It’s almost like she was waiting for him to show up, running off from her post the second she heard Natsume was there. The dark looming screentones are replaced with flowery ones, and it’s hard not to think of this as his perspective: all is gloomy and then there is Mikan. All of a sudden, after hating her for so long, he thinks of her as bright sunshine, and he must have showed up just to see her and feel nice for a change.

It's Natsume seeing Mikan through floral-filter lenses for me...

Of course, he ruins the mood. It feels almost as if he does it solely because he knows it will upset her. She was so excited to see him, and he manages to completely turn her mood from eager to angry, just the opposite of how she was able to unwittingly turn his mood from gloomy to... as close to content as he can get.

He’s okay now. He doesn’t want her getting any ideas.

Now, in my opinion, his method of bothering her could be anything and the plot would remain the same. What matters is that he wants to piss her off, and this just so happens to be the way he does it, partially because it’s intended to be funny. Mikan has to get angry at him for this chapter to progress the way it does, but his actions could have been replaced by any other irritating action and it could’ve gone the same way.

Tsubasa then appears, drawn to the sound of a loud commotion. He sees Natsume and vaguely wonders why he’s there. Everyone knows Natsume, at all grade levels, because he’s famous. For Tsubasa, whose only real knowledge of Mikan’s relationship with the kid is that he causes trouble in Class B, it would be strange to see him at the RPG.

Natsume, meanwhile, has no idea who Tsubasa is. Seeing Mikan crawl all over her senpai, seeing him easily comfort her, is something that bugs Natsume. He glares at Tsubasa, somebody whose name he doesn’t even know, and then starts leaving with Ruka.

At first, Tsubasa is confused to be treated like this, until he hugs Mikan tighter and sees both Natsume and Ruka turn in jealousy. Tsubasa gets it immediately. Thus begins a strange and tumultuous frenemy relationship between Tsubasa and Natsume, where they both begrudgingly understand each other while also irritating each other beyond belief.

Natsume is not interested in playing the game, insulting it and wondering how anyone could get hooked on it. Ultimately, it’s not even Mikan who convinces him to give it a shot; it’s Tsubasa taunting him, “then you should be able to win, no problem, right?”

Tsubasa will come to regret saying this, because the answer is yes.

The RPG is designed to be tough. Nobody has won the whole game yet. Beating one or two students is one thing, but being able to outsmart or outmaneuver the entire special ability class is a difficult feat.

Natsume agrees to play, and gets a robot cockroach as a weapon.

Tsubasa is hugging Mikan as Natsume is about to enter, and that pisses him off even more. He decides that Tsubasa will be his slave, his motive being get your hands off her. This is silly considering that just a short time ago, Natsume hated Mikan. His feelings really did a 180.

The challenges pick up in difficulty as he goes on. The first one is effortless. He doesn’t even move from where he’s standing. The mirror-alice girl just freaks out about the cockroach and sends him on his way after two seconds.

The next one is trickier, and Natsume will need to put in more effort than just standing and waiting for the cockroach to do its job. But not that much effort. He sits next to Megane, lights a fire, and waits. It’s a scorching flame, and although Megane tries to tough it out, he gives in with two seconds to spare. Natsume, a smartass, quips sarcastically that he’s sorry--he really can’t tell how hot it is. (This is not actually important or anything, it’s just interesting that Natsume is not affected by his own flames and can’t feel the heat of them. I might end up referring to this a couple times.)

With the exception of the first and last challenges, Natsume uses his alice to beat the maze; either by heating Megane up so his soul goes back into his body, or by writing with fire instead of chalk. The next challenge is the one Natsume has been waiting for and he’ll use his alice here too.

Tsubasa is shocked to find Natsume has progressed so quickly, but he proceeds with the challenge: Natsume has to touch him in thirty seconds, but it’ll be tricky ‘cause he’s held in place by his shadows. He toys with Natsume’s shadows a bit, which really pisses Natsume off. Tsubasa even apologizes nervously, even though he’s the one in control. Or he is, until Natsume uses his alice again and gets rid of the shadows.

Natsume’s anger towards Tsubasa all stems from jealousy. It’s not just that Tsubasa was hugging and comforting Mikan, it’s that he can. Natsume needs to distance himself from Mikan in order to keep her safe, and he’s aware of that right from the start, but there’s more to it. He’s busy establishing himself as an enemy to Mikan, doing things to bother her to make her angry with him, but nobody rushes to their bully for comfort, and Natsume knows this. It’s not just that Tsubasa was hugging Mikan; it’s that he feels like he will never get the chance.

And so the next and final challenge is where he gets to be selfish.

Mikan is aggravated to see him, obviously not thrilled that he was able to make it in such a short time. Her task is that he has to get her off the carpet in thirty seconds. He can’t hurt her or force her off the carpet, and because of their alice training together, he can’t use his alice on her either. (They’d apparently practiced so much that she was able to sharpen her skills significantly. Before, her alice was a wildcard and she struggled with using it, but now she’s able to use it with relative ease. That’s a lot of training in a short time, and I’m sure Natsume wasn’t upset at all the time they had to spend together as a result.)

Natsume must feel relief regarding Mikan's nullification alice. She's nullified his alice in pretty big ways already, one time to save his life. The girl he's crushing on is capable of turning off the thing that decreases his lifespan. She really is a breath of fresh air, in more ways than one, and his appreciation for her alice, even if he doesn't voice it, will only grow. This is important, but I'll talk way more about this in the other POV.

He tries the cockroach, but she’s a country girl and unaffected.

Natsume is genuinely stumped by her challenge, admitting to himself that it’s a tough one. He then comes up with a risky idea, no doubt influenced by her rescue of him when they were kidnapped by Reo. He plays sick. This act only works if Mikan falls for it and is concerned enough to jump off the carpet, but he’s a good actor on account of all the sick experience he has and she does fall for it in no time. Her being concerned was a given.

She jumps off, meaning he’s won the game, but that’s not enough of a victory for him. He acts sick until she’s closer, so he can grab her and put his arm around her. Yes, he calls her an idiot, but this is the closest he can get to a hug… for now. It doesn’t matter that she’s annoyed and dismayed that he won. All he cares about is that he got to touch her.

She jumped down. He won already, but it's not enough! (Also sorry about two pictures. If it ruins the format, oh well.)

Natsume was jealous that Tsubasa got to do something he thinks he'll never be able to, and so he got a taste of what he wanted some other, convoluted way. He gets angry that Tsubasa is so touchy, but that's only because he wishes he could be touchy too. Natsume will get bolder and bolder with his physical affection, because he will want more and more to show it. When he starts being honest about this affection, she will be more eager to return it.

Natsume is the first winner, and Tsubasa admits it was never expected for somebody to be able to pass all the challenges. Part of the appeal is that it’s an unbeatable game, but Natsume’s feelings of jealousy and spite were enough to get him over the finish line. Though perhaps knowing it's beatable but only one person could is also appealing. It's possible to pass, but very rare for somebody to be able to, so they can draw in crowds by capitalizing on kids who want to the next person to beat the game.

He gets to choose a lamp, but he has no idea which one is whose. He cheats by asking Koko to tell him which one is the right one, but he ends up picking Mikan’s, because Koko assumed that’s the one he wanted. After all--Natsume was thinking about her. Natsume is lucky that Mikan was too anguished at being a slave to care about Natsume thinking about her, but it’s interesting to know that even when he’s supposed to be angry at Tsubasa, he was only thinking of Mikan.

Chapter Twenty

This chapter’s premise is pretty simple and light: Natsume can’t think of any use for Mikan other than to follow him and Ruka around the festival and carry their stuff. They navigate the technical ability class area and even encounter Hotaru, though only for a short time because she’s quite busy.

Most importantly, their time in the technical area makes Mikan insecure. Everyone in the tech class seems to know what they want to do with their lives, with their alices being perfect for research or creation. I’ll go into more detail with this during Mikan’s essay, but it’s important to note that Mikan asks the people around her if they’re prepared for their future only to see that they all are. Hotaru, Sumire, and even Ruka all have dreams for the future, even if Ruka won’t share his. Natsume has decided to leave the conversation and we don’t hear what his dream is, which makes sense because he doesn’t have one. Natsume doesn’t think he’ll live long enough to graduate, so why even bother wasting his own time and getting his hopes up for something unattainable?

It’s then revealed that Ruka is also a triple, and Mikan can’t tell, but the mood has been soured for Ruka. His triple-star status is a touchy subject that he’s unhappy with. His star rank is representative of Natsume’s suffering and he doesn’t like talking about it. He only says that he didn’t mention it because he didn’t get it on his own talent or effort before Natsume forces Mikan to walk in another direction, claiming to be hungry.

This is literally just a scan of the TokyoPop version, which is better than the other version I see floating around.

He can tell Ruka is uncomfortable and is ready to step in so that his friend can feel better.

As a result, they end up at the cafe where Anna is working (after all, Mikan has been perfecting her puppy-dog eyes routine and I think both Ruka and Natsume are affected, even if the latter would never admit it).

Natsume takes the first bite of Anna’s hell pie, just to see a rot demon (or whatever that thing is) taunt him about the trouble his stomach will be in soon. He really doesn’t have a choice but to throw the tea over the pie. Ruka is grateful, but Mikan is outraged at how rude Natsume is acting, and even angrier when Natsume explains that the pie was horrible. She demands he apologize but Natsume simply walks away, content to be the bad guy because he saved his friends from getting food poisoning while also sparing Anna’s feelings and reputation at her cafe.

"Your stomach will writhe" is such a potent threat. I feel sick just looking at that demon/scoundrel/rot thing.

This scene has more substance than in the anime. In the episode, Natsume sees the rotten scoundrel (or WHATEVER IT IS) before he can take a bite. He tosses the tea for all their sakes and ultimately nobody is hurt. But here, in the manga, Natsume has already taken a bite. We see the missing part of the pie, the residue on the fork. Natsume is already screwed. He's going to have food poisoning from Anna's pie, and he still puts her feelings before his own. He'd rather say that the pie is terrible according to his own tastes than to let everyone around know that she made such a health-risking mistake. He drenches the pie so that Mikan and Ruka don't get food poisoning, even if it's too late for him. Natsume leaves, knowing he will look like an asshole, AND with stomach problems on top of that, but at least he's the only one who will be seriously hurt.

This is a pretty insignificant example of a trait that we have seen before with Natsume but haven't really fully explored. It's going to play a major role for the rest of the manga, because Natsume has something of a martyr complex, where he is quick to sacrifice himself because he sees little to no value in his own happiness. This is a small example, and I'm not saying it's not kind of him, but there are consequences with his line of thinking. He's fine with looking like an asshole to protect people, or giving up things he wants so someone else can have it, or blowing himself up so two girls can escape safely. Whenever there's a chance to sacrifice himself, Natsume will take it every single time.

This may seem noble or romantic or admirable but it's not healthy at all. The way he was raised (no shade to Papa Hyuuga and Kaoru but also.... tentatively side-eyeing them for putting so much responsibility on him) and the way he is now tortured by the school has put him in a position where his self esteem is horribly low. This complex of his results in suicidal tendencies, even after he falls in love with Mikan (and even exacerbated by that love). For Natsume, love is sacrifice. He simply cannot love without feeling like he has to give something up. Ideally, he would grow out of this and maybe start seriously choosing himself sometimes. It's not evil to want yourself to be happy and to choose your own well-being, even if it occasionally makes others sad or upset.

In the context of the actual story though, we have yet another glimpse of a complex that will cause a LOT of trouble down the road for Natsume and Mikan.

Conclusion

Natsume has new feelings for Mikan and is having trouble navigating them. They will cause even more trouble in the next essay. We also touched more on Natsume's self-sacrificing tendencies and how devastating they will turn out to be. These tendencies will be consistent and persistent throughout the manga in regards to NatsuMikan's relationship, and cause more problems. These problems will pop up a bit in the next part, so stay tuned!

Also, small note: I call him Ruka and not Luca because I got used to it after watching the anime and through scans and fanfics. I heard his name pronounced that way and at first thought it was a Japanese name so I simply copied the pronunciation. When I found out it was supposed to be Luca, I'd already been using Ruka for a while. I don't really want to switch to using Luca most of the time because I know people in real life named Luca/Luka and I talk enough about GA on the daily where it might feel strange to me. I use Luca sometimes when I'm talking to others who prefer it, but Ruka is what I'm used to. I hope this isn't frustrating, but understand that I pronounce Killua's name (from HxH) like "Ki-ru-a" as well and in my head "Gakuen Alice" is pronounced "Gakuen Arisu" because I pronounce things based on what I hear when watching the anime ;-; These are things I have no real desire to change because they sound right to me. I'm sorry. (Nobody has said anything or complained, and this is not a vague or anything like that! I just wanted to say that I know it's supposed to be Luca and it's not my intention to be disrespectful when I pronounce/spell it Ruka. I am fucking crazy, but I am free.)

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#gakuen alice #alice academy #hyuuga natsume #natsume hyuuga #natsumikan #sakura mikan #mikan sakura #my meta #ga #mine #ga meta #ga meta: nm #ga meta: manga #ga meta: manga nm #let's talk about natsumikan #let's talk about natsumikan: natsume #because of how jam-packed the alice festival is with nm content this might take two more parts to complete #stay patient with me please i am trying my best ;-;#i couldnt go into the haunted house knowing id only have two pics to work with. it would kill me.#theres just too much #the ten image limit is genuinely such an obstacle so if u wish there was more then blame tumblr and maybe theyll raise the limit to fifteen #they wont. tumblr is a disgusting landfill of a website.#edit for song: stupid by brendan maclean #theres some jealousy and tsundere behavior. love that for early love natsume

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justanotherlifeff · 3 years

Text

Levi Ackerman × reader

Genre: Angst, Hurt/comfort, Fluff, matured themes, slowburn

Warning: There's mentions and descriptions of underage rape and suicidal themes and self harm and other triggering stuff. THERE IS SMUT IN THIS CHAPTER

Hanji's POV

Who knew that I would live to see the day when Levi would be staring at a girl with his mouth open? The wedding went more smoothly than expected. I have no clue about why Commander Pixis decided to walk (Y/N) down the aisle but I was sure that I would ask (Y/N) about it as soon as the wedding was over.

"When I met you for the first time, the look I saw in your eyes interested me. Back then, I wondered who you were, what might have happened to you because that day I saw my own reflection on you. After that, you kept proving to me that you were strong, stronger than any woman I had ever seen. When I finally knew who you were, I understood why you resembled me so much and the reason you are so strong. I never gave relationships any attention because I wasn't fond of being with someone who couldn't keep up with me or being with someone who could but might die on the process.

You were the only person that I knew had a huge chance of not dying and keeping up with me with the same time. I know how much you went through, yet, you kept your head up and moved on with life and I admire you for that. I wouldn't choose to be with anyone else other than you because I feel that we are two sides of the same coin. (Y/N), I want to be the person who will protect you from any harm coming to your way. I want to be the one who could make you feel the happiness that you deserve. I don't want you to feel any pain alone because I want to be there to share the pain with you, shield you from it if I could. I vow to keep all these promises till my last breath." Levi read from the piece of paper on his hand.

I had to admit that he worked hard for this one because something that emotional coming from him sounds unsettling.

"Ever since I was born, I never found a reason to live. This world was always a dark place for me. There was this one time when I thought that everything will fall into place but those dreams were shattered, making me fall into an endless abyss of desolation. That was until that day, when you gave me the cleaning duties of your quarters. I found someone who understood me. I believed that all of this world's cruelty were placed upon me but after talking to you, I realized that there were other damaged people to, as damaged as I am.

If I were to tell the truth, the first time I felt the need to be with you was when you comforted me while I was vulnerable, drunk and filthy instead of leaving me alone. I didn't intend to speak my heart out to you that day but the way you handled it, it made me realise that I looked at you in a way much more than just my captain. As you advised me, I don't regret any decisions that I have made on the way because all of it has lead to this day, the day when I can truly say that I am happy. Levi, I vow that I will fight anything on my way to keep it this way. I vow that nothing will come between us because for the first time, I found a reason to live." (Y/N) read from her page, with her smile growing.

I felt happy for (Y/N), as I remember, the first time I saw her, she had this never ending frown on her face. My first thought on that day was, "how did we end up with a female version of Levi?". I chuckled at the memory as I saw (Y/N) turn beet red as the priest told Levi to kiss the bride. Levi being himself, kissed (Y/N) with the usual frown on his face. Well, seems like this day was getting weirder and weirder as I saw Levi gape at (Y/N), I saw (Y/N) blush, and I saw both of them kiss public. God knows what I'll do when I start seeing little Levis running around...

No one's POV

After the wedding was over, people rushed to congratulate the newly wed couple. Levi handled the attention with his usual polite and serious demeanour but (Y/N), though she was both polite and serious too, was slightly flustered by the sudden bombardment of attention. As she struggled with all the guests, particularly all the jealous new cadets who were trying to make small talk with her, or more accurately, make her feel more tense than she already was, Hanji came to the rescue and scared them off by bringing up her titan experiments.

"That always works." Hanji chuckled before looking at (Y/N)'s pale face and asking, "Are you okay (Y/N)?". " I need to puke... Morning sickness... Help..." (Y/N) muttered, barely controlling herself from puking all over Hanji. "Oh dear... Let's get out of here." Hanji muttered as she made her way among the guests and helped (Y/N) get into the headquarters.

"Are you feeling better?" Hanji asked (Y/N) when she was done puking in the sink. "Yeah... I'll have to sit for a while.. Standing isn't helping... " (Y/N) muttered as an answer. To that, Hanji started walking with (Y/N) towards her office. It would be (Y/N)'s last time using that room in her office since she would be moving in to the house Levi bought.

"Why did Pixis walk down the aisle with you?" Hanji asked (Y/N) while walking beside her, her eyes glinting with curiosity. (Y/N) didn't answer to it right away. "It's probably best if you don't know." she answered after a moment of silence. "(Y/N), you could share anything with me you know. Have I ever judged you?" Hanji asked with a softened expression, putting a hand on (Y/N)'s shoulder. (Y/N) sighed at that and after a few more moments, said, "Promise me that you won't be too surprised and that you would forget that I ever told this to you.". " Well, if it involves humanity or Levi, I don't know if I can keep that promise because I'm a commander now and I have some responsibilities and Levi is my only other friend beside you." Hanji answered.

"Relax Hanji, it involves none. The truth is, Commander Pixis is my biological father. It's a rather long story that I don't want to repeat." (Y/N) answered with a sigh. To that Hanji smiled and replied, "okay, I didn't see that coming. Does Levi know?". " Yeah he does. He is the only other person besides you, myself and Commander Pixis to know about that, not counting my biological mother who is non existent to me at this point." (Y/N) answered as they reached her room. "Alright, I'll have to go inform Levi that you're resting and not feeling well and I have to deal with the guests too. I'll send Mikasa to give you company." Hanji answered as she went towards (Y/N)'s door.

However, she stopped at the door, looked back and said, "Hey, it's okay to have a weird backstory. Most of us around here have something like that. I mean, look at me, I love titans. I'm the last person who would judge you for something like that.". " Yeah I know. Thanks Hanji. For everything." (Y/N) answered with a smile. Hanji gave her a cheerful "you're welcome" before getting out of the room.

Levi POV

It was a shitty experience really. Not the part where I got married to (Y/N), that was amazing, but the part where I had to talk to those snobby women, trying to make it seem like (Y/N) isn't the best person I could possibly be with, or the jealous men who seemed to have a thing for (Y/N) but didn't deserve to be anywhere near her, or the older officials, trying to make it seem that I am an asshole who got a girl pregnant before wedlock or that (Y/N) is not a good person because she let that happen.

I, of course, made sure they knew that something was wrong with their pea sized brains, in the most polite way possible. I would kill Hanji for inviting these good for nothing worthless pieces of shits to my wedding. It was time for lunch and I was sitting beside (Y/N) on the lunch table. I had to admit that Sasha and Jean from my squad did a good job cooking. I asked her if she was okay after she arrived and she brushed it off. Judging by her face though, I knew she didn't have any appetite for food. All she had been eating daily were potatoes. If my kid turns out to be a complete maniac like Sasha, I'll probably go broke only by buying food.

Thankfully, Hanji made Sasha steam some potatoes for (Y/N) and (Y/N) was able to eat that without barfing on any of the people on the table. I wouldn't mind if she barfed on those shitty guests though. When lunch was over, the sun was almost setting. The guests from other military branches went away while the cadets and other members of the scout regiment stayed in the dining hall. Mine and (Y/N)'s squad, as they were held responsible for keeping the whole arrangement in place, went off to clean the tables and get the buffet tables out of the dining hall for some reason. I was sitting with (Y/N), talking about the annoying guests. "...and then I told this girl that (Y/N) is the most beautiful person I've met but thanks for your congratulations. You should've seen her face. It looked like it was leaking shit." I told (Y/N) before noticing that she was shivering slightly.

"Are you cold?" I asked her, eyeing the very revealing dress. "Yeah... This dress doesn't cover my back..." she answered, her teeth slightly clattering. To that, I took my coat off and put it on her shoulder. She immediately wrapped it around her like a shawl. "Feeling better?" I asked her before she gave me a slight smile and answered, "Yes". We talk for a while before my squad got their chores done and took her away to sit with them while I got stuck with Hanji.

A few hours later

The wedding was over but it seemed like Hanji brought alcohol for the whole scout regiment. Apparantly they will be celebrating at night. "You do know that they will have training tomorrow right?" I told her. "Come on Levi! Let them have some fun. Besides, you just got married! Take a day off and show (Y/N) some good time, you know what I mean" Hanji winked at me as I gave her a look of disgust. "I don't think the comma..." I trailed off. "I don't think the commander would allow it" was something I always used to get out of whatever shitty idea Hanji got in her messed up head but seems like I couldn't do that anymore because Hanji is the commander now.

"Well, I as commander, give you a day off." Hanji told me in a smug voice. "Fine. By the way, who will be training these brats?" I asked Hanji, giving a nasty look towards the recruits in the dining hall where everyone was chatting. I already disliked most of them because of their views on my wedding. I understand that they had a thing for me or (Y/N), I faced people like that before but the ship already had sailed for me and I didn't see the point of them trying anymore. It just seemed like a pain. (Y/N) was sitting with my squad, chatting with them, specially the gloomy brat, Mikasa. I had no clue how (Y/N) was friends with that girl as it seemed like all she knew was to glare at me or hate on me whereas (Y/N) usually did quiet the opposite.

"You'll be training them. You're the best soldier around here and if they are trained by you for that many months, I’m sure they will get better fighting skills than most new veterans." Hanji explained. "Okay. I'll do it" I told her with a stoic expression. "The party for the night will begin soon. I expect you not to back out from the wedding dance." Hanji told me with a smile as she looked away. That shitty glasses must be kidding. "Is this some shitty joke of yours?" I asked her, with a monotone voice. "Nope. It's not. I want this to be memorable. After all, it's all going good for you right? Give us some entertainment out of it, Levi" Hanji told me before shouting out, "Attention cadets!". All the cadets stood up and saluted towards her as she was the commander. "At ease soldiers. I was proposing, don't you all want the famous grumpy couple among us dance together?" Hanji shouted with enthusiasm.

The cadets shouted a loud yes, my squad being the loudest. "That's right! Let's make them dance!" Hanji shouted. "Hanji... I'll kill you in sleep." I warned her. "Dance! Dance! Dance!" Hanji started a chant and the whole regiment joined. I looked at (Y/N) and her face was beet red. "Tch." I made a sound of annoyance before I walked towards (Y/N). "He's really doing it..." I heard the cadets muttering in shock. Of course, they wouldn't expect me to dance. I wasn't planning to either but, well, if the commander says so, I decided to let loose a bit. I knew how to dance, as I've attended more than enough charity events and other military events with Hanji, representing the survey corps and Hanji always pushed me into dancing. I had no idea if (Y/N) knew how to dance.

"Oi Albert! Get the violin out and play something!" Hanji shouted at a meek boy among the cadets who ran to the corner of the dining hall, where a violin that I didn't previously notice laid. As I reached (Y/N), she stood up. I was still in my grey shirt and (Y/N) was still in her wedding dress. (Y/N) still had my coat on her shoulder. "Do you know how to dance?" I asked her so that she won't embarrass herself. "Uncle Erwin taught me." she told me meekly. Of course he did. After all, (Y/N) did spend a lot of time with him. The boy started playing a cheerful but slow melody on his violin as I took (Y/N)'s hand in mine. Hanji motioned us to go to the open area where the buffet tables usually stand. Now I knew why they moved the tables. Shitty glasses had it planned all along. I took (Y/N) there, put a hand on her waist and took one of her hands. She laid her other hand on my shoulder and we danced.

"Erwin did a good job teaching you how to dance." I commented as I twirled her by her hand. Her steps were flawless. "Thanks. It didn't go to well with singing though." (Y/N) muttered, with her usual frown on her face. I had my stoic expression on too as none of us had any intention to dance and were sort of forced into it thanks to that shitty glasses. As the music was over, Hanji walked over to us and said, "You two looked like there were sticks up your asses.". " I'd love to make you experience that you know." (Y/N) muttered, stealing my words.

"Hey, I probably won't want that. After all, it didn't sound too comfortable 'that day'" Hanji mentioned with a wink. She was talking about the day she walked on us. "Would you mind if I kill her someday?" I asked (Y/N) with a stoic expression. "I don't know who she is." (Y/N) answered with a monotone voice. "Oi! I'm supposed to be the two your friend!" Hanji whined before (Y/N) flicked her forehead and told her, "Thanks for planning the wedding. It was amazing.". To that, Hanji gave (Y/N) a tight hug, almost squeezing all the air out of her and saying, "See Levi? She's better than you.". "Whatever you say shitty glasses." I answered as (Y/N) choked out "I can't breathe!".

We had dinner after a while and (Y/N) had potatoes once again. She made me promise that I would have to buy her meat after her first trimester. It was time to go home. Our new home. Thinking about it made me feel like someone punched me in the gut but somehow the feeling was good. After dinner, we rode on the carriage that Hanji booked for us and went towards our home.

No one's POV

Guitar strumming from so ist es immer (the theme from the no regrets spinoff) begins

Levi turned the key to the door of their home but stopped before opening the door. This was it. This was a new beginning for him. He felt (Y/N)'s hand on his shoulder, trying to give him the courage to start this life with her. With that he opened the door and stepped in the house with her.

Die Stühle liegen sehr eng

The chairs lie so close

Both of them looked around the small cosy living room. This was the life both of them always wanted and their dreams were coming true.

Wir reden die ganze Nacht lang

We talk all night long

Levi and (Y/N) looked at each other, both knowing that they reached their goal towards happiness. With that, Levi kissed (Y/N) on her lips.

Dieser niedrige Raum ist nicht schlecht

This lower room isn't bad

Back at the headquarters, Eren watched all his comrades and friends drink and have fun.

Wir können uns gut verstehen

We understand eachother so well

Eren was reminded of the memories of his father. This was only the beginning of the big storm ahead, he thought.

So ist es immer, unser Licht ist nur das

Just like it always is, this is just our light

Eren was called to join the others by Connie. A small smile formed on his face.

Trinken und singen wir, begrüßen morgen

We drink and we sing, we welcome tomorrow

Eren remembers the time when the old Levi squad was alive, when (Y/N) was a newbie and everyone drank and had fun. He knew he would lose many of these dear comrades too as he joined them, ready for the storm ahead.

So ist es immer, unter'm riesigen Himmel

Just like it always is, under the enormous sky

(Y/N) and Levi were in their bedroom, still kissing. Everything finally fell into place for them.

Leben wir zusammen, die Nacht ist lang

We live together, the night is long

(Y/N) breaks the kiss, looking at Levi with bright eyes and a smile

Da die Sterne nicht leuchten

The stars don't shine

Levi saw (Y/N) looking at him as if he is the most precious thing to her. He understood the feeling because he felt the same.

Kann der Mond auf diese Stadt nicht scheinen

You can't see the moon in this city.

(Y/N)'s smile got bigger as her hand reached for Levi's cheek.

Schauten wir das Licht selbst an

We looked at the light itself

"Levi..." (Y/N) said softly. Levi looked into her eyes, waiting for her to finish.

Singen wir unter dem Sternenmeer

Singing under the starry sea

"...I love you" (Y/N) finished. Levi's eyes widened as he never heard these three words from (Y/N), or anyone except years ago, from his mother. "I love you too" Levi answered after a moment as he got himself together.

Chairs so close and room so small

Levi pulled (Y/N) closer to him before he pushed her on the bed

You and I talk all the night long

Their clothes laid discarded on the ground

Meagre this space but serves us so well

Levi entered her, for the first time, making love instead of just lustful sex.

We comrades have stories to tell

As they both had an orgasm, Levi buried his face on the crook of her neck, hiding the tears of happiness in his eyes. (Y/N) however didn't try hiding it as she wore a smile on her face as a few drops of tears escaped her eyes.

And it's always like that in the evening time

(Y/N) and Levi sat at the dining table for a cup of tea before bed.

We drink and we sing when our fighting is done

As (Y/N) sipped from her cup, she heard the sound of thunder and she got up from her chair to look out of the window at the sudden downpour.

And it's always so we live under the burnt clouds

Levi saw (Y/N) go for the door to the backyard. He followed her to see what she was about to do

Ease our burden, long is the night

(Y/N) stepped out of the house and held her hand forward, out of the space under the roof and let the drops of rain fall on her hand.

Just as no stars can be seen

(Y/N) suddenly stepped out from the shelter of the roof, spreaded her hands like the wings of a bird and let herself get drenched in the rain. She never enjoyed the rain before.

We all starve for a moonbeam on our town

Levi looked at her from the door with surprise as he didn't expect her to do something like this.

We must all gather as one

(Y/N) turned at him and held a hand out at him, asking him to join her.

Sing with hope and the fear will be gone

After giving it a thought, Levi held (Y/N)'s hand.

Die Stühle liegen sehr eng

The chairs lie so close

(Y/N) was surprised too as she didn't think Levi would agree to this.

You and I talk all the night long

Slowly, Levi stepped out in the rain too. He didn't enjoy rain ever either, specially after Isabelle and Farlan...

Dieser niedrige Raum ist nicht schlecht

This lower room isn't bad

(Y/N) suddenly had a sneaky smirk on her face as she pulled harshly on Levi's hand making him fall on the mud

We comrades have stories to tell

Levi was shocked and angry because of the sudden action as he hated dirt but (Y/N)'s giggle threw all the anger away from his mind.

So ist es immer, denn immer im Ertrag

Just like it always is, always profiting

An evil glint formed on Levi's eyes before he pulled (Y/N) onto him, getting mud all over her as well.

We drink and we sing when our fighting is done

When (Y/N) was over the shock of falling, she busted out laughing, throwing more mud on Levi's face.

So ist es immer, we live under the burnt clouds

Just like it always is, we live under the burnt clouds

Levi does the same, a big smile forming on his face before he began to laugh as well

Ease our burden, long is the night

They both threw mud at eachother like children, as if they never lost their childhood to circumstances.

Da die Sterne nicht leuchten

The stars don't shine

They both sat on the muddy ground, drenched in the rain under the cloudy sky. Levi didn't know that a dark sky could seem this beautiful

We all starve for a moonbeam on our town

He realized that what made it all beautiful wasn't the environment, it was the woman beside him.

Schauten wir das Licht selbst an

We looked at the light itself

Levi and (Y/N) looked at eachother before (Y/N) pulled him into a timid kiss

Sing with hope and the fear will be gone

As the kiss ended, Levi ran his hands in (Y/N)'s dirty hair and said, "Oi brat, let's get cleaned up."

To be continued...

Taglist: @reality-is-often-disappointing, @kingtamakimurder

#levi smut #levi aot #shingeki no kyoujin levi #levi x reader #levi attack on titan #levi x fem!reader #levi×reader #captain levi #levi ackerman

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thedetectiveofinaba · 3 years

Text

Last mun post of 2020 - thank God for this year ending & thank you for the life lessons I learned

I'll be most likely offline from Tumblr & Discord for the most of the day to celebrate the New Years with my family & answer most asks after the socializing. Until mentioned otherwise, I'll try to do all Xmas asks/replies until the 1st of January and post them directly.

As for my thoughts about 2020... it could've been worse but I'm not missing it the slightest. It has had its good moments like me finally moving out from my parents' place and getting a peace of mind from that & learning more how to balance my RPing time and other free time + focus on Uni and shitty moments like family drama BS, the crisis I went through due to overanalyzing a kids' game and learning the hard way how letting go of the nostalgic series you had and finding sth else you enjoy more hurts. It has had its good sides and negative aspects I don't regret going through (and instead wish had been easier to process), and this includes in me learning how to RP better and write trauma and angst better when enabled and reeled down so I don't overdo that.

Still... fuck 2020 and its pandemic bullshit and everything this year will represent to some people. Things could have gone better and it will irk people, but at least we all can have faith in knowing that covid-19 stress/this scenario didn't kill us & we are stronger than we thought at first. We all made it alive and more than likely can deal with stress caused by several factors better. If you're still recovering from sth this Hellscape caused, it's OK to take your time and heal properly. Rushing things is never worth it and nobody had any right to assume you to achieve sth only because they did that faster than you did.

Here's to a better year, less pandemic BS aftermaths and more successful and fun life experiences & RPing times.

#mun's posts #mun's musings #mun's thoughts #tw: covid mention #/srsly my mood is 'it wasn't the worst' and 'fuck you 2020' simulatenously #/happy new year guys! °^#positivity #/despite i have mixed feelings on it i want to be positive on things & not thinking that everything in life has a meaning

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sarehime · 4 years

Text

Might Comes from the Heart Chapter 12

Rael and Karias watched the scene before them. They were surprised because of the unexpected guest and were curiously waiting for what would happen next. Why had Eden stopped Frankenstein? Of course this was not the most important question right now. How had Eden stopped such a great power with ease? This was the most important question right now because if Eden decided to become their enemy, it would be difficult to stop her.

"Rael." Came a calm voice behind them, they both turned to where the sound had come from. "Hyung!" Rael cheered excitedly when he saw his big brother. "Why are you here?"

"We came to avenge the previous attack," Lazark said. It was hard to tell how he felt, because of the mask covering half his face, but still he looked calm. Well, typical Lazark, Karias thought. "Why are you here, then?"

"One of our companions was kidnapped by the werewolves. We came here to rescue him," Karias replied. Lazark nodded, then turned his gaze towards Eden. He frowned slightly. A strange but familiar energy was radiating from the girl. Weird. He was sure they hadn't met before, then why did he feel like they had?

"Who's the lady?" Lazark asked unable to hide his curiosity. He couldn't stop looking at her. Karias smirked at him sarcastically. "She is very delicate, isn't she? Since she caught, even your attention." Lazark rolled his eyes, "I'm wondering if she's our enemy or not. It's not that hard to understand, Karias." Karias raised his hands. "Come on! You can't deny that she is beautiful."

"Karias..." Lazark closed his eyes and sighed deeply. He didn't have time to deal with this nonsense. He wanted to learn if the lady was a potential danger and, if necessary, help Frankenstein. "Ah okay!" said Karias, finally giving up. "Her name is Eden. For now, I'm not sure which side she's on either, but she is a good girl. I don't think she's our enemy." Lazark sighed again at the lack of explanation. "That was not helpful at all," he said. Karias shrugged. "Let's just wait and see, my friend," he responded and returned to the scene from earlier.

"Are you going to say something?" said Frankenstein finally. "There is nothing to explain, Sir Frankenstein. I have to protect this werewolf. Please understand."

"What do you expect me understand? Are you making fun of me?" Frankenstein barked. Eden didn't respond and turned to the blond werewolf, "You are Dorant, right?" Dorant narrowed his eyes and crossed his arms across his chest. "Yes. Who are you? Did The Lord send you here?"

While Dorant asked this questions, Frankenstein rolled his eyes. She ignored him... again! "Eden answer my questions first," he said as he began walking towards them. Eden immediately raised her arm in front of Dorant. Frankenstein was annoyed at that. Apparently, she was serious about protecting Dorant and would not allow them to fight again. Since she just stopped the previous power easily, he couldn't force her aside either. Frankenstein stopped where he was. Eden wouldn't protect Dorant for no reason. There was someone who gave her this ridiculous order. Muzaka!

He was once again filled with rage. He had no idea how Eden was persuaded to leave Muzaka but looking at the young woman's face, it was obvious that his job was not easy at all. Damn werewolf! I will make you regret this when I next see you, Frankenstein thought in rage and he'd really do something about it. Even if he had to face Eden again... For some reason, Frankenstein hated the idea of fighting Eden. She had a power that made him excited, he wouldn't deny it, and Dark Spear didn't help at all. But, Eden's delicate and fragile appearance always made him stop. She looked like a glass that would break easily. He knew it wasn't true, but he couldn't stop himself from thinking that way, whenever he saw her.

"Eden, that werewolf you are protecting right now isn't innocent. Please don't make things harder for me, I don't want to hurt you." Eden raised an eyebrow at that. He didn't want to hurt her? Why? Ah, I don't like that child. You attract the attention of very unnecessary people, Eden. When Seraphiel whispered these words into her mind, she blinked innocently. What do you mean? Nothing. You don't have to worry about that but still be careful with this Frankenstein person, please. Seraphiel and his unnecessary jealousies... Eden smiled slightly. When Frankenstein saw her smile, he forgot how to breath for a moment. Why was she smiling? He turned his eyes away immediately and coughed. He suddenly felt a dryness in his throat. He focused on a random rock on the ground. He frowned, wondering why he felt like that? Because she looks delicious. Dark Spear hissed in his mind. Shut up! He could understand that Dark Spear was trying to take control, but he wouldn't allow it. Fortunately, he was stronger right now, and Dark Spear didn't have a strong grip, although they had surrounded him completely. Generally, his skin was blazing and he felt like he was going to drown. Yes, he had an obsessive and very possessive lover. He didn't want to think about that any longer and turned his attention back to Eden. He opened his mouth to say something but another voice interrupted him.

"Eden, thank you very much! I'll handle the rest." When she heard Muzaka's cheerful voice, Eden immediately bowed and moved over. Dorant looked at Muzaka in a rage. "You..." he hissed taking a step forward but then stopped suddenly. He took a glance at around him and then, dropped his fist. Damn, his situation wasn't good at all. He had wounds from his previous fight, and his teammates were dead. He was too weak to face Muzaka alone, plus he had Lunark and Kentas on his side as well. He turned to look at the girl who saved him, as she turned to look at him as well. It seemed as though she was going to attack him if he made one false move. He couldn't be in a worse situation than that. He grit his teeth. He couldn't run away, but he couldn't stay either if he wanted to live. "Dorant," Lord Muzaka called his name. Dorant gave his attention to him instantly, in this situation he had to focus on his enemy. Muzaka could see Dorant's hatred for him, in his eyes. His eyes were filled with sorrow and disappointment. He always thought of Dorant as his successor, but after seeing him like this. This was a really big disappointment. "Why are you looking at me like that?" Dorant asked. "Why did you come here? You're even collaborating with the humans and the nobles! You really are a traitor!" Muzaka ignored his words and asked a different question.

"Garda... Were you there when she was caught and taken to the lab?" Dorant widened his eyes in bewilderment. Garda. She was a very good friend of his as well as his comrade. She was the most powerful werewolf warrior after Lord Muzaka. However, these things were no longer important because she was a traitor like Muzaka. He shouldn't be ashamed of what he did. He frowned at his thoughts and looked Lord Muzaka in the eyes. "Yes, I was there," he said confidently. Muzaka narrowed his eyes. "You let me down."

Dorant's eyes darkened at Muzaka words. "How dare you say that to me?" he hissed. "Me, disappoint you? Do you know how big of a disappointment you are? You were useless even when you were our Lord!"

Eden clenched her fists at Dorant's words. He is right, Eden. Muzaka has never been a good Lord. Maybe, but he still thinks of his people. Enough to endanger himself. I don't think that matters for his people, he always left them alone. However, I should intervene before this goes any further. Let them solve their problems among themselves. This is their problem. Remember your promise. Eden sighed.

Seraphiel was right. She'd promised not to interfere in their problems but still she didn't like seeing Lord Muzaka so broken. Did Lord Muzaka really deserve these words? He had come all this way to save his people, even though he knew the danger. He was thinking of the happiness of his people even though he was no longer a Lord. He was aware of his mistakes, she could see it in his eyes. It's too late to understand all of this now. When Seraphiel said this, she turned her sad eyes towards Muzaka. Was it really too late?

When Kentas and Lunark finally intervened, Dorant left furiously and no one stopped him. Only Lord Muzaka watched him leave. When he'd gone into hiding before, he didn't expect to find a very angry Frankenstein in front of him. The crazy guy was still covered with that weird, dark matter and stared at him sharply. Muzaka grinned and started to speak. "Sorry," he said. "But I can't let you kill him."

"Shut up!" Frankenstein shouted. Lunark and Kentas hissed at him. How dare he...

"Oh, you look pretty angry," said the former Lord widening his grin.

"I'm going to go crazy!"

"What a pity!" Lord Muzaka responded trying to pushed him around. "You look stressed."

"Stand still." Frankenstein said calmly.

"What?" Muzaka asked in a daze but it was too late. Frankenstein picked up Dark Spear and swung it towards him. When Lord Muzaka saw a monsterlike weapon approaching him quickly, he shielded himself with his arms, when nothing happened, he lowered his arms with a feeling of deja vu, he saw Eden blocking Dark Spear with one hand.

Frankenstein looked at the young woman in front of him who was now holding his weapon. "Sir Frankenstein, please calm down. Otherwise, I don't know how long I will tolerate your disrespectful actions."

Eden said these words calmly but he could see her beautiful, violet coloured eyes blazing with anger. Frankenstein exhaled and then, his muscles relaxed. "Okay," he mumbled and pulled Dark Spear to himself, but, there was a problem.

Dark Spear refused to leave Eden. Frankenstein frowned with fear in his eyes. Dark Spear was stuck on Eden's hand. When Eden understood this, she tried to pull her hand away but she couldn't. Eden! Seraphiel's anxious voice filled her mind and she started to feel a little worried as well. "Eden!" said Frankenstein starting to worry.

"What's going on?" Lord Muzaka asked holding onto Eden's arm. He seemed afraid too. The sticky dark matter began to sprawl up Eden's arm. Eden clenched her teeth with the pain, as she tried not to scream.

Frankenstein was trying to separate Eden from Dark Spear and Lord Muzaka helped him. He wrapped one of his arms around Eden's waist and wrapped his free hand around Eden's arm. He'd have to stop the dark matter from spreading somehow.

"Let go of her!" Frankenstein shouted. His heart began to beat quickly when he saw dark matter spreading up her arm. He couldn't understand, he was shaking with a feeling that he couldn't make sense of. Eden cried out in pain unable to hold herself anymore when a rumble occupied her mind. Focus, Eden! The weapon is trying to conquer you, break your mind. Save us, we didn't deserve this! Eden widened her eyes when she heard a baby crying. The crying mixed with Seraphiel's restful voice, but it was still there. What is this? A human soul. Eden don't let them break you. Fight! But it's a baby... Just focus! I promise after destroying this weapon, I will free them. Now just focus! Eden was at a loss. A baby... She was sure she heard a baby crying! What was that weapon?! Crombel has same weapon, Eden. She closed her eyes in pain. But this time, it was a different pain. She didn't think about it, no! It was so merciless. He couldn't be... In a moment of anger, she held the weapon tightly.

Frankenstein continued trying to save Eden from his crazy lover. More precisely, he screamed, at Dark Spear to let her go in his mind. He didn't expect an attack from Dark Spear. He knew that his weapon desired Eden like crazy but he had not thought they would escape from his control, like this at first contact. He turned his eyes towards her face. The pale skin of the young woman flushed, because of the pain. The sweat drops on her forehead shone in the moonlight, her violet eyes darkened. Frankenstein could see that Eden was suffering tremendously. Suddenly, his eyes widened in astonishment as he saw a glimpse of something, however, before he could understand the image in front of him, he found himself flying backwards from a great force. He found his balance immediately, after flying along the ground for a few seconds, he stopped himself using Dark Spear. However, there was something wrong with Dark Spear, they were lighter. He looked at them, unable to believe his eyes. His mouth opened in surprise, he gawked at the edge of Dark Spear, it was completely torn. The weapon tried to regenerate themselves but it was obvious they were having difficulty, probably because of all the glittering light surrounding the area where they were shattered. What was that? This glittering energy that gave out a golden light. A familiar colour.

"You have a very dangerous power, Sir Frankenstein." When Frankenstein heard Eden's voice, he turned towards her immediately. The girl's arm was still surrounded by the power of Dark Spear, and the painful expression on her face had still not disappeared.

"Are you okay?" Frankenstein asked as he headed towards her but he stopped himself because of the way she glared at him. He wanted to ignore those glances and help her but, his instincts begged him to stay away. "What is it?" Frankenstein gulped but didn't answer, he didn't have an answer to give, Eden already knew the answer. "Very cruel..." He frowned at Eden's whisper. He felt a pang in his chest. He couldn't understand why he felt that way. Yes, Dark Spear was a weapon that shouldn't have been created in the first place. After all these years, Frankenstein had to accept it, but still he couldn't convince himself. He'd created them after all, well technically he didn't, but the idea was his. If he knew what would happen, he would never have thought of creating such a thing. Never.

When Eden saw his face, she sighed. Her previous words hadn't been meant for him. Her master had the same power as well. She didn't know how Frankenstein gained his power, but she knew how her master did. He'd created the power for himself. That weapon hadn't chosen the souls. She'd heard the voice of a little baby! Her master knew and yet he... She glanced down at her wounded arm. Seraphiel, you should free them. I know. Close your eyes. She closed them as she felt Seraphiel's power thicken around the dark matter on her arm. Seraphiel's might was peaceful and bright but also painfully strong. Whenever she used his power, her mortal body couldn't bear it. Her bones were breaking, as her organs were crushed under the sheer weight of his power. She knew one day she would die while using his power. No matter how much Seraphiel told her, he would not allow it, but now it felt different. She felt Seraphiel's touch on her skin. Warm like life... he took the spirits one by one and freed them as though releasing butterflies that were caught in a web, she exhaled calmly. The source of her life, her friend, her companion. She knew he would never leave her alone. Never. Finally she opened her eyes and turned her head towards the sky. Bright golden coloured, lights drifted upwards like butterflies disappearing on the horizon, she felt a pain in her chest. Familiar but also foreign. She swallowed and took her eyes off of them, what was this painful feeling? She started panting when she felt the glances of others on her. She brought her hand to her mouth, as she felt a burning sensation in her lungs, but it was too late. She coughed and a dark liquid began to spread along her fingers...

***

Thanks @webcomictranslations for correction!

#noblesse #frankenstein #muzaka #dorant #lazark kertia

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nothingbutfangirlsmut · 4 years

Text

The Girl Out of Time

Pairing: Bucky x Reader & Sam x Reader

Rating: Story will be overall MATURE but not every chapter. There will be strong language, talk of both mental and physical abuse, some good ole angst, and some eventual smut once the story reaches that point.

Chapter 5

I followed behind Steve with Natasha behind me. We stepped into some kind of lab. Computers and other equipment was everywhere. Nat had explained the computers to me and even cell phones. Bruce and Tony where each standing in front of screens.

"Bruce, I need you to run some tests." Steve said sternly as he walked over to the man.

Bruce eyed him for a second then glanced over to Nat and I. He took his glasses off setting them on the counter he was standing at.

"What kind of tests?" He asked Steve.

"The same ones ran on me after I was unfrozen but I need you to do it to Willow."

Both Bruce and Tony turned to look at me. They looked intrigued yet skeptical.

"You think she is a super soldier?" Tony asked.

Instead of answering Steve pulled his shirt up to his neck exposing the bruise that was much bigger and darker now.

"That's where she punched me." Steve said letting his shirt fall back down.

"Willow come sit over here please." Bruce said quickly gesturing to a still close to him.

I did as he said and sat down. I watched him grab a few things then turn to me with a needle in his hand. I immediately jumped to my feet. I stepped backwards but ran into a hard chest. I knew immediately it was Steve. He's the only who knows about my fear of needles.

"Willow it's alright he won't hurt you." Steve said softly.

He guided my tense body back to the stool and sat me down. His hands rested on my shoulders. Bruce grabbed my arm to do what he needed to. I turned my head away grinding my teeth together. I've always hated needles. I would do anything to get out of getting a shot or anything else.

I felt the needle break the skin but it didn't hurt like it use to. I glanced down at my arm but regretted it immediately. It may not hurt but the sight of the needle in my skin had me almost throwing up.

"All done" Bruce said turning his back to me.

It looked like he was immediately doing something to it. I stood up grabbing Steve's arm to keep myself balanced. We were all silent for a few minutes as Bruce worked.

"Look at this" he said suddenly.

He moved the images in front of him around until there was two images side by side. They looked almost identical except one was a different color.

"What are we looking at?" Steve asked.

"This is your blood after you were unfrozen." Bruce pointed at one image.

"This is Willow's blood right now." He pointed to the other image.

"So she is like me?" Steve asked him.

Bruce shook his head.

"She is definitely what we would call a super soldier but the difference here is the color of her blood. It's black. Honestly, I'd say it's possible that she is even stronger than you Captain." Bruce explained.

"What? How is that possible?" I asked staring at the images.

"Well, it was a Hydra scientist that did this to me. You were found frozen in an old Hydra base. It seems they did the same thing to you." Steve said.

"But it looks like they made changes in their serum between the time of giving in to Steve to when they gave it to you." Bruce added.

"This is insane. I can't be a super soldier." I said shaking my head.

"To be fair Willow, you don't have any memory after the night you were kidnapped. Who knows what they did to you. They were probably the ones to alter your memory as well." Tony said as he leaned on a counter.

"Nat we need a lot of training. Get the equipment ready and grab Barton. Tony when she's ready we will try something with your suit." Steve ordered like he was back in the military.

Natasha ran out of the room to do what Steve had said. Tony nodded then went back to his work. Bruce stepped over to me.

"Once you get a little training down I'd like to run some more tests if you don't mind." He said timidly.

I nodded then left the room. I needed a minute.

"Willow" Steve called after me.

He stopped me in the middle of the hallway. He grabbed my face turning me to look at him.

"It's alright, this is good we can use you with the team now. We are learning more about what happened to you. Now we just need to find out why it happened." Steve spoke softly.

I don't know how I could deal with any of this insane nonsense if it wasn't for my best friend being here too. Why this happened we may never know but at least we have each other.

"Let's get you some training in." He smiled pulling me to follow him.

Before I knew it a few months had passed. A lot of things had changed. Steve and I moved out of the tower to our own apartment in D.C. as roommates. Clint went back to his family. Natasha was in and out working on different jobs. I spent a lot of time with Steve when neither of us were working. I had been lucky enough to be given a job at S.H.I.E.L.D. along with Steve. I've gotten really good at hand to hand combat thanks to Steve and Nat. It also turns out I am stronger than Steve. Every morning now I go for a run with Steve since I'm the only one who can keep up with him.

This morning there was another jogger taking the same path we were. Steve thought it was funny every time we ran past him. The guy looked completely confused. As we ran and got closer to the guy Steve switched me sides so he would run next to him.

"On your left" he said as we ran past.

I laughed as we kept going.

"On your left" he said again.

"Uh huh, on my left. Got it." The man said as we went past.

When we came closer to him the third time the man started trying to run faster.

"Don't say it. Don't say it!" he panted.

"On your left" Steve said again with a huge grin.

"Come on!" He shouted.

The man stopped and sat at a tree to catch his breath. Steve and I took another lap then decided to go chat with him. He looked wore out and exhausted as he leaned against the tree.

"Need a medic?" Steve asked as we stopped in front of him.

"Looks like it" I laughed.

He laughed and shook his head.

"I need a new set of lungs. You two just ran like 13 miles in 30 minutes." He stated in disbelief.

Steve and I shared a glance.

"Guess we got a late start." Steve grinned.

"No, you did. I just didn't want to make you look bad." I chuckled.

Sam looked between both of us with a shocked expression.

"Really? You should be ashamed of yourself. You should take another lap." He said waving his arm.

This was a moment of silence as Steve and I both just looked at him. He turned back to us.

"Did you just take it? I assume you just took it." He said.

I couldn't help but laugh. He was funny and pretty cute. His smile was bright and charming.

"What unit you with?" Steve asked him.

"58th Pararescue. Now I'm working down at the VA."

He lifted his arm up towards Steve.

"Sam Wilson"

Steve grabbed his hand and pulled him to his feet.

"Steve Rogers"

"I kinda put that together but who are you?" He asked pointing to me.

"Willow Roffe, old friend of his. Same situation." I said simply as I shook his hand.

"Must have freaked you out coming home after the whole defrosting." Sam said folding his arms.

"Takes some getting use to." Steve chuckled.

"That's an understatement." I rolled my eyes.

"Nice to meet you Sam." Steve waved then turned to walk away.

I waved at him then went to follow Steve.

"Its your bed right?" Sam asked a little louder.

"What's that?" Steve turned around.

"Your bed, it's too soft. When I was over there I slept on the ground. Used rocks for pillows like a caveman. Now I'm home lying in my bed and like..."

"Like lying on a marshmallow. Feels like I'm gonna sink right to the floor." Steve finished for him.

"How long?" Steve asked.

We both moved to stand back in front of him again.

"Two tours. Must miss the good old days." Sam said with a smile.

"Well, things aren't so bad. Foods a lot better." Steve chuckled.

"Yea, we use to boil everything." I said.

"No polio is good." Steve added.

"Internet" I said.

"Yea, so helpful. Been reading that a lot trying to catch up." Steve said.

Sam looked like he was thinking for a moment.

"Marvin Gaye, 1972, Troubleman soundtrack. Everything you missed jammed into one album." He informed.

Steve pulled out his little book to write down what Sam had just said.

"I'll put it on the list." Steve smiled.

Both mine and Steve's cell phones chimed at the same time. We both looked down to the same text.

"MISSION ALERT. EXTRACTION IMMINENT. MEET AT THE CURB. :)"

"Sam, duty calls" Steve said shaking the mans hand again.

"Thanks for the run if that's what you want to call running." Steve joked.

"Oh, that's how it is?" Sam questioned raising a brow.

"That's how it is." Steve laughed.

"Oh please, you both need some work." I laughed playfully shoving steve.

I grabbed Sam's hand to shake it again.

"It was a pleasure Sam." I smiled.

He pulled my hand slightly raising it up to his lips. He pressed a soft kiss to the back of my hand then let me go.

"You too pretty lady." He smiled then winked at me.

The sound of a loud engine pulling up grabbed our attention. The window rolled down to show Nat behind the wheel. I was already standing next to the car when Nat spoke.

"Hey fellas, either one of you know where the Smithsonian is? I'm here to pick up a fossil." She said with a smirk.

"That's hilarious" Steve mumbled as he walked to the car.

I jumped in behind him while he took the front seat.

"Can't run everywhere." Steve said to Sam.

"No you can't." He chuckled glancing back to me.

---

Masterlist

#nothingbutfangirlsmut #the girl out of time #nick fury #natasha romanoff #bruce banner #tony stark #steve rogers #clint barton #sam wilson #bucky barnes #bucky x reader #bucky imagine #bucky fanfic #sam wilson fanfiction

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solohux · 6 years

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prompt: "I'll let you fuck me, when you're the Supreme Leader and I'm Grand Marshal" and with that Hux turned Snoke's new apprentice down and never thought of that incident ever again. Fast forward to now. Kylo just made himself the new SL and is about to promote Hux.

“You’re beginning to test my patience, General,” Kylosnarls, using the Force to push Hux against the nearest wall in the corridor,moving towards him like a predator would his wounded prey. “You’d do well toremember your position.”

“My position,” Hux grins, laughing through the obvious painthat’s radiating through him from where his head smashed against the wall. “Myposition, Kylo Ren, is head of the First Order, and the Supreme Leader knows it. But withyou being the new boy, I’ll let this one slip. Any more of these ridiculousintimidation tactics of yours—a boy who thinks himself a man—and I will seethat Snoke deals with you personally, boy.”

Kylo growls, feeling blood beginning to pump southwards.Underneath his helmet, he feels himself blushing, thankful that Hux can’t seethe effect he has on him, but Kylo has a reputation to uphold, and he knowsjust how Hux likes it. Breathing heavily,the young Knight moves to press his knee between Hux’s legs, rubbing it slowlybut harshly against the General’s crotch.

“Why, you—” Hux begins, but his words disappear into adesperate moan, letting his head fall back against the wall with his eyesclosed.

“I knew it,” Kylo chuckles, leaning in to press the coldfront of his mask against Hux’s cheek, close to his ear. “What you need is somestress relief, General. My hard cock up that tight ass of yours.”

“Oh. Mm. Yes, little Ren. I’ll let you fuck me,” Hux biteshis lip, and Kylo can already picture Hux moaning beneath his body—but Hux’shands are suddenly on Kylo’s chest and shoving him away with force. “Whenyou’re Supreme Leader and I’m Grand Marshal!”

Hux remembers that dayextraordinarily well in his mind as he makes his way—slowly—towards Supreme Leader Kylo Ren’s throne room onboard the grand Supremacy II, wonderingwhat fresh assault waits for him behind those closed doors.

Surely, Hux thinks as hestrides with false confidence up the pathway to the dias at the foot of theSupreme Leader’s glorious ornate throne, Kylo doesn’t remember thatconversation.

“Grand Marshal Hux,” Kylo saysloudly, standing from his throne as soon as Hux is in front of him. “Do youknow why I’ve summoned you? Ah. Youdo.”

Hux swallows hard. Hesometimes wishes that Kylo still wore his ghastly helmet; at least Hux wouldn’thave to look at the handsome facethat he turned down all those years ago. Back then, Hux hadn’t known that KyloRen was human underneath his mask.There were rumours that he was the same ghostly creature as Snoke, but oh, those rumours had been wrong. AndHux has regretted his rejection every day since.

“You remember our little discussion, don’t you, Grand Marshal?”Kylo says with a small smirk on his lips, circling Hux slowly. “About what you’dlet me do to you once I gain a certain position of power?”

“I remember,” Hux states,staring straight ahead at the throne, wondering if this brute will even let himprepare himself before pounding him into the next cycle.

“Then you won’t hesitate inaccepting my offer to join me in mychambers tonight.” Kylo’s breath is hot onHux’s ear, sending prickles of excitement across his skin but his rigid posturedoesn’t falter.

“I am a man of my word,” Huxsays.

“Good.” Kylo steps backtowards his throne, draping himself over it, hooking one of his legs over thechair’s arm, opening his legs as though to show off his crotch. “2000 hours,Grand Marshal. My private chambers. Be ready for me.”

“As you wish, Supreme Leader.”

Hux turns quickly on hisheels, leaving the room before Kylo has a chance to say anything else, beforehe has a chance to see the tears threatening to fall from Hux’s eyes.

Be ready? Huxshivers. How does one get ready for an impending assault? His body is alreadylaced with bruises caused by the Supreme Leader’s hand, and he’s expected to ready himself for more?

Whilst showering and workinghis asshole open with his favourite toy, Hux wonders if he has time to run.

After lubing himself up andleaving his second-largest plug inside, Hux chooses his most pristine-lookinguniform to adorn. After all, these are the clothes he’s likely going to beburied in.

The walk to the Supreme Leader’schambers is agonising. He feels like he should be shaking hands with eachofficer that he passes, wanting to thank them for following him so loyallybefore his life comes to an end as a result of Kylo’s pent-up sexualaggression. If he’s lucky, the Force will kill him first.

He knocks twice on the doorand it swishes open as soon before he can get the third knock, revealing asweet smelling scent coming from the dimly lit room. Hux enters, stomachclenched and heart pounding in his chest.

If only he’d said yes to young Kylo Ren all those yearsago; the boy may not have killed him, but the man is most certainly going totear him apart slowly.

One of the adjoining chambersseems to be flickering with light from inside so Hux decides to slowlyapproach, presuming that’s where the Supreme Leader waits for him, where hisinevitable demise waits to devour him—

“My fairest Marshal. Please,come in.” Kylo’s voice is softer than Hux has ever heard it, but he doesn’t dwellon it for a moment longer, too baffled bythe scene in front of him.

A great four-poster bed,curtained with white, voile panels, sits proudly in the centre of the room,adorned with black silk bedsheets and red rose petals scattered all over it.Kylo, wearing only a pair of bright red—andhells, TIGHT—shorts, a long-stemmed rose held in his hands. Candles aredotted all around the room, lighting the scene with a gentle glow and givingthe room a gorgeously sweet smell.

“Supreme Leader…! I don’t—”

“Not here,” Kylo says, gettingup from the bed and sauntering to Hux, picking up two crystal glasses of wine as he moves. “I’m Kylo to you now, Hux. No formalities. I’ve…I’ve waited too long forthis.”

Hux’s jaw hits the floor. Hetakes the glass of wine from Kylo and chugs more than half of it in a few largegulps, expecting the burning sensation to wake him up but everything is as itwas when he opens his eyes; the bed, therose petals, Kylo’s very handsome bodyand his soft, pleading eyes.

“Supreme—uh. Kylo,” Huxcorrects himself, setting his glass down on the sideboard, glad that thedimness of the room is hiding the growing bulge in his trousers. “I’m afraid Idon’t quite understand what’s going on.”

“All those years ago, when Ipushed you into that wall and said I’d love to stick my cock up your ass,” Kylopouts, obviously trying to shake off the embarrassment. “I…heard that you likedit rough, so that’s what I tried to be. But then you gave me that propositionand I hated myself for trying it onwith you like that. So I knew I had to be strongerfor you to accept me, to become Supreme Leader to prove myself to you, andnot a moment before.”

“I…Fucking hell, Ren,” Hux says, placing his palmover his sweating forehead.

Kylo takes hold of Hux’shands, pulling them so Hux stumbles forwards, bringing them chest-to-chest.

“I did what was needed of meto get here,” Kylo says, voice low. “I’m Supreme Leader and I’ve made you GrandMarshal. This, this is my offering. I’ve done as you asked, Hux. I’m sorry ittook me this long, but I’ve given you power and…I’m yours, if you’ll have me.”

Hux doesn’t need a betterinvitation than that. He throws his arms around Kylo’s neck and kisses himdeeply, locking their lips together with the passion that both of them havesuppressed for one another for the last few years.Kylo moans, moving his hands down Hux’s body to—albeit hesitantly—touch hisass and graze down his thighs, lifting Hux up, letting his long legs wraparound his waist.

“You romantic fool, Kylo Ren,”Hux says once he’s set down upon the bed amongst the dozens of rose petals. “Youcould have had me years ago if you’dtold me the truth, but I’ll scald you later. Haven’t you promised your cock inmy ass?”

And Kylo pounces.

#kylux #tw mentions of noncon #bottom hux #m:writing

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sweet-xoxo-thatcares · 3 years

Text

Be A Nice Human

I know why my Grandma kept all those pictures of her and her abusive ex, Kevin. They still stayed friends for many years after they squashed it out and got over what happened after they broke up. He would still come by every so often (even though he was a drunkard and he also cheated on her too) she knew she could never really cut him out of her life. But she learned to love him from a distance, and they stayed friends after. He would come by to help fix her car, built a counter for her in her kitchen when she bought a new house, and brought her weed to smoke to help relieve her pain.

Its crazy, but love is so damn hard to get rid of. Its like a child. And you can't throw away something as pure of an emotion as love is.

Im finally accepting that its ok to not go back to them and still appreciate what I learned from them. I dont need to hurt anyone anymore because of all the pain I was from dealing with them during, before, and after each especially traumatizing breakup.

I can still find love who is right for me to choose. Trans or not. I cant give up just because of one person. My mtb person will come and we'll sing to each other at our wedding party. Imma wait for the right person, before I open up my heart to them next time.

I'll be patient in love, accepting and giving, and learn how to let go properly without trying to burn a cord so quickly just because there's a soul tie I want to stop thinking about immediately after breaking up with them, and not wanting to be jealous anymore.

However, I was right. Jay and Ayunna both did mentally and emotionally scar me and they took advantage of my kindness and love towards them. So there's still a thin line between love and hate that they still need to remember. You cant treat anybody any kind of way, call them out their name, disrespect them, leave, abandon them for revealing their emotions, and then just come back when you say so. Humans don't interact like that and shouldn't try to control somebody's mind, heart, feelings, or attention from somebody else just because you still want to play them for sex later.....and this person actually wanted something you didn't with them.....love and commitment.

They both looked at me and made fun of me like Rudolph the Red nosed reindeer. I was so different to them, that I got teased, mocked, and made fun of a lot by both Jay and Ayunna individually. But what happened, happened and I learned my lesson about ghosters and abusers, and how to be more careful with crazy people.

Especially to be even more caring and patient and sensitive to my needs and not to just go along with what somebody wants me to do to please them. I can't take back the harsh negative words I chose to say, but things happen for a reason. And I am hurting again. Because I was feeling regretful about leaving, but I don't wanna be somebody's #2 choice replacement, nor do I deserve lack of respect just because I am classified a woman. There was some sexist crap Jay and Ayunna would follow just because I was more feminine than them, doesn't mean I shouldn't be allowed to be dominant. I am Dom. Most definitely. And I choose who I am too. Im allowed to call myself Dom. I can be harsh and cruel just like they were. But now they hate me for being this way towards them, because i knew where their soft spots were, but i honor and respect people's feelings 1st to never hit their vulnerable insecurities until they fuck with my own on purpose, full shot on, and multiple repeated actions that weren't corrected on their behalf.

Jay acts like a subby brat, but switched to Dom whenever they wanted to make me submit. Im glad I got my power back though. Knowing that you can call your own title without their approval really made me feel better about standing my ground. I didn't need to be called a sub, just cause they wanted me to weaken myself down to a more pleasing, controllable level. Cause I am smarter and stronger than them, it just took them too long to figure that out, that I do have a dominant, fair, but yet firm standard of belief systems. I do have morals I tend to stand by. And watching Ayunna get hurt by them too, pissed me the fuck off.

Cause how could you repeatedly choose her over me, then go as far to ask to flirt or sleep with more women than you already had right in front of you? If you couldn't make sure us 2 was already taken care of and pleased with this relationship...why tf could you be so greedy and so rude and cruel to think that it would be ok to ask for more girls to flirt with you, when we were already giving you the attention you asked for?

You made us 2 feel like we weren't good enough to satisfy you, when truth is no one can until you learn how to do it yourself and love yourself, respect yourself better and stop calling yourself an asshole and treating your body, your face, and your heart like shit just because you're a miserable little fuck. Just because you have an attitude doesn't mean me, Ayunna, and whoever new you decide to replace my presence with....isn't gonna tolerate it.

That's why I left too. But there's multiple reasons. I'm choosing the positive choice to love you from afar and to find me another transman, nonbinary, tranfemale to love who isn't going to reject me, use me, or hurt me the way you did.

Because people are individuals, doesn't mean all trans people are alike and not all think its ok to hurt other women sadistically or for their own game play for "enter-painment". Yes, I said it.

Good Day.

-Darth Vader, Out.

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