#smells like poo but kisses like… poo | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

gleafer · 1 month

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Ew! I mean, AWWWWW! Some ships should sink, but this one refuses to.

Or: IMMA MAKE EVERYONE KISS LIKE CHILD ME DID WITH MY BARBIE DOLL AND ALL MY NEIGHBOR’S G.I.JOES

#illustrator #illustration #digital artist #artist on tumblr #crowley #good omens #good omens art #gleafer art #hastur good omens #good omens ligur #Adam put EVERYTHING back in order #smells like poo but kisses like… poo #I’m the lizard #the lizard #he runneth away-eth

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haystarlight · 6 months

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Claudia is such a fucking character man.

She hates elves, she's in love with an elf. She likes smelling farts, she's implied to have murdered people. She makes poo jokes, she killed a deer to make dark magic once. She thinks Rayla's little braid is cute, she threatened to throw Rayla's family into lava. She almost walked into a tree because she was too distracted reading, she has no qualms stealing from the Dragon Queen. She and Callum almost kissed that one time and it was never brought up again and it haunts me. Her hair has changed color a million times.

I love her

#tdp s6 spoilers #tdp spoilers #tdp claudia #the dragon prince #the dragon prince spoilers #tdp season 5 #tdp s5 #tdp

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bleach-your-panties · 3 months

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Tapping in for the v-day event…can I get tsukki for letters E, I, M and L pls🤭

For Tsukki-poo, you sure can, bby!🧡

(I love this gif of him - that's when he felt it. That's how it feels to be a winner, boy!😤)

❥⋱Kei Tsukishima:

❥⋱E - Entice: What scents turn him on? Your perfume/cologne maybe? Does he like scented candles, incense, etc.?

Tsukki would love strawberry-scented candles because he loves strawberry shortcakes. I can see him liking any candles that smell like a bakery: vanilla, cinnamon, chocolate, pumpkin spice. He likes those candles that smell exactly like cupcakes.

But on YOU, he likes only vanilla scents.

“Smelling so damn good, making me think I should just eat you up. Maybe I will.”

He will bury his face between your neck and shoulder and kiss/lick you there to see if you taste as good as you smell. Which will then probably lead to him eating you out, claiming he needs to test his ‘theory’ in other areas of your body.

❥⋱I - I Love You: When did he first say ‘I love you?’

Now, with him, you know it took him some time because he’s a difficult bitch. Also, he didn’t really believe that someone like you could love someone like him because of his rude, snarky personality.

It’s true; when you met him in high school, you couldn’t stand him at first because of his attitude. The teacher assigned you both a group project and you both were thinking the same thing about each other: ‘they’re going to try to make me do all the work’

He didn’t like you, either, because you made him feel things other than irritation and self-doubt. That scared him.

Tsukki also had problems with trusting people due to his issues with his self-esteem and self-confidence. When you started showing interest in him, he just assumed that you were ‘trolling’ him. So, surprise surprise, when you told him that you liked him, he didn’t believe you.

After a while, once he saw that he wasn't getting rid of you anytime soon, he began to believe in the idea of someone genuinely loving him in a romantic sense.

You were the first to make the confession, to which he smirked cockily and put a hand atop your head.

"I love you, too, shrimp."

❥⋱M - Marry: How does he feel about marriage?

He wants to get married, but doesn’t feel like he’ll be good husband material; it’s difficult for him to express his emotions, okay? Tsukki knows that he loves you and you love him, but despite his aloof demeanor, he feels an immense feeling of insecurity when it comes to his love life.

He feels that honestly you could probably do better than him, but after a while of dating you and spending nearly every waking moment together when he’s not studying or at volleyball practice, he begins to really see just how much you truly care for him.

Which is why after he scored the winning point for his end-season game as middle blocker for the Sendai Frogs, he bent down on one knee right there in the middle of the court. Everyone was already watching him anyway, so why not?

He debated waiting until after you both graduated college to ask you to marry him, but he figured why wait when you’ve remained by his side, supporting him and encouraging him for all of high school and then the majority of your college years?

You could hear his friends, teammates, mother, and especially his older brother, Akiteru, in the background cheering:

“That’s my little brother! The tall one, with the glasses! My little brother is getting married!”

❥⋱L - Lotion: Massage time! What kind of lotion, how does he massage you, or you to him!

Now you know if anybody is going to be massaging anybody, you're going to be massaging him!

His excuse is that his muscles ache after practice and he's not going to let anyone other than you put your hands on him in such an intimate manner. He also refuses massages from the team's specialist, which has gotten him scolded a couple of times.

Why let a stranger touch him when his beautiful fiancee can do that? Plus, afterward, he gets to fuck you. Win-win for him.

He'll probably choose just a simple massage cream with a neutral scent or one of your vanilla-scented body lotions since he likes them so much.

While you're massaging him, he'll be smirking and making perverted little comments to make you flustered, especially when you get to his thigh/groin area.

"Getting a little close to my dick there. Is someone needy tonight?"

----

valentine a-z © bleach-your-panties 2024. do not steal, repost, or upload my shit to tiktok! comments appreciated. reblogs always welcome.

#kei tsukishima #tsukishima x reader #kei tsukishima x reader #kei tsukishima smut #tsukki smut #tsukki x reader #hq tsukishima #haikyuu tsukishima #haikyuu tsukki #valentine's day #valentine event #valentine a-z #💗💗🍡°hq headcanons #💗💗🍡°hq masterlist #dividers by hitobaby #byp🌹

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toasttt11 · 3 months

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the almost kiss

August 14, 2023

Maddox was scrolling on his phone texting Alex as he was in the car with Sophia and Luke heading to the bar they like to go to in Michigan, the rest of their group in the the other car meeting them there.

Luke parked the car, Maddox put his phone in his white shorts and fixed the color of his blue linen button up before hoping out of the car.

They saw Quinn pull into the parking lot and waited for the rest of them to walk over to the them.

Quinn, Jack, Ty, Cole, Trevor and Matty all walked over to the three and they headed inside.

Within a few minutes they were all spilt up around the bar, Quinn was talking to one of his friends who was at the bar, Jack, Ty, Cole and Trevor were all playing pool together laughing loudly, Sophia and Luke were playing darts against each other as Luke kept losing because Sophia kept distracting him, and Maddox was chilling in the corner leaning against a wall drinking from a bottle and on his phone.

Trevor had just lost the round of poo and looked over seeing Maddox all alone. Trevor walked away before Jack or Ty could notice. Trevor walked over to Maddox leaning his head over his phone, “Being on your phone while in a bar, boring.” Trevor teased Maddox while smirking at him.

Maddox rolled his eyes putting his phone in his pocket, “And what do you suggest i do?” Maddox smirked slighty raising an eyebrow down at Trevor.

“I’ve got many ideas.” Trevor flirted with a smirk looking up at Maddox, and leaning closer as his hand traced over Maddox’s muscular chest.

Maddox could feel Trevor’s breath close to his lips and could feel himself tense not because Trevor was close to him, no that wasn’t the issue. The issue was Jack. Maddox knew Jack was in the room and he couldn’t let Jack see him kiss another guy.

Maddox quickly pulled away before Trevor could kiss him, Trevor’s eyes and face flashed with hurt and he looked like a kicked puppy making Maddox’s chest tighten, “I’m sorry, I can’t.” Maddox stammered out and tuned around quickly walked away out of his head bar towards the outside. Sophia and Luke shared a sad look having seen how close Maddox was to Trevor and knew he was scared. They quickly shared a look hurrying after their best friend.

Trevor frowned watching Maddox rush out and it just proved that Trevor was right and Maddox doesn’t have any feelings for him. Cole who saw the dejected look on his best friend and sadly frowned walked over putting his arm and Trevor’s shoulder comforting him.

Maddox pushed through the crowd as quickly as possible to get outside he could hear how loud his breathing was getting, he got outside going to the side of the bar leaning his back against the wall trying to breath, as he felt all the walls closing in on him.

Sophia and Luke rushed after Maddox finding him leaning against the wall one hand on his his knee bending down as he breathed heavily and his other hand on his heart holding his chest.

“Maddi.” Luke rushed over to his older brother in concern aware that Maddox gets bad anxiety and panic attacks have happen before, “Can i touch you?” Luke hovered his hands over Maddox’s arms getting a jerky nod from Maddox. Luke gently held onto Maddox’s arm, “Breath okay, What is five things you can see?”

 Sophia leaned next to Maddox looking at her best friend in concern, gently brushing her fingers against the back of his head knowing it calms him down.

“You, Phia, wall, lights, shoes.” Maddox choked out trying to breathe.

“Good, What about four things you can hear?” Sophia gently questioned.

“Cars, my breathing, people, music.” Maddox slowly choked out again feeling his heartbeat starting to slowly calm down.

“Good job, three things you can smell?” Luke gently asked rubbing Maddox’s arms gently.

“Food, alcohol, smoke.” Maddox croaked out trying to catch his breath.

“Good, Two things you can touch.” Luke gently asked.

“You and Phia.” Maddox answered feeling himself slowly calming down.

“Well done, now one thing you can taste.” Sophia softy asked.

“The drink i just had.” Maddox answered taking a deep breath and leaning his head back against the wall closing his eyes.

Luke and Sophia shared a look of relief that Maddox panic attack wasn’t worse.

“What happened?” Sophia softly questioned having seen him with Trevor but wanted Maddox to tell them.

“Trevor almost kissed me.” Maddox quietly explained, knowing that can’t happen ever.

“And why is that so bad?” Sophia hummed softly looking at her best friend in concern wanting to know what someone said that made him so scared.

“Because nothing can happen between us ever.” Maddox firmly spoke.

“You’re allow to have feelings for Z.” Luke comforted his older brother hating that Maddox felt like this.

“No i’m not. Besides i don’t have any.” Maddox denied not looking at either of them, he was lying to himself, he knew his first crush on a guy was Trevor when Maddox was younger but Jack knocked some sense into him, he couldn’t be Trevor ever.

Sophia and Luke shared a sad look but knew better than to keep pushing Maddox.

Sophia and Luke went with Maddox home early before everyone else.

Trevor came home absolutely hammered having to be carried by Jack and Cole into his bed, as he continued to drink since Maddox left.

Trevor woke up the next morning completely hungover and found out Maddox left early that morning having to get back to Chicago. Trevor knew Maddox didn’t have to get back for another week.

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fetishfairytales2 · 24 days

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Happy Birthday Sissy! (Story)

Heather and Brandon are original characters created by @wittlesissyb4by in his fantastic series “Besties”, which this blog expands on. Please support him through his Tumblr and his SubscribeStar. ——————————————

"Oh my God today is going the BEST day ever!” I squealed as Connor and I snuck into the dark nursery. My poor, long suffering Brandi was all cute and cozy in her tiny crib-cage. “Just look at those footie pajamas!” I giggled. They were pink of course, with ruffles. They even have “Sissy Princess” across the front! “They’re too perfect for her!” Connor just shook his head; “looks more like a girl every day…”

I nodded excitedly as we leaned over the sleeping sissy. “I know right? And can we talk about her hair? It’s gotten so long! I totally braided it last night. We had a fun little girls night! I did her nails and her hair while I made her watch another of those videos you and I made,” I nudged Connor with a playful wink.

"Leave her alone, though,” I teased, “she's our precious little baby girl after all. Just look at her all trapped in her little cage. So adorbs!" I slowly opened the cage and gently called out to Brandi, but she was out cold. Ugh, typical. "Okay, Daddy," I pouted, giving Connor a pleading look. "Looks like you get to wake up our sissy princess."

Brandi was so cute, twitching in her sleep. She was probably dreaming of being a real man again.. “Mmm, such a strong Daddy!” I purred playfully, loving how Connor, all big and strong, just reached in and grabbed Brandi under her arms. He pulled her up to her sissy feet in the crib like a child. "Good morning, sissy-poo!" I taunted, knowing it would make Brandi cringe.

I loved how humiliated she always was, it was so much fun watching her squirm. But of course, Brandi had to try and ruin my princess fun, grumbling behind her pacifier gag, trying to resist as Connor picked her up like a doll. “No, no, no Little Ms. Priss,” I quickly shut her down. “It's a special day and you better behave or else you’ll end up over Daddy's knee!” I warned, wagging my finger in her face.

"Ew, he smells," Connor grunted, tightening his grip on his former bully. "She smells," I corrected him with a sassy wink. "And she smells because she refused to give Daddy a special 'good night kiss' last night So I didn’t change her!” I giggled. “Aww,” I cooed, “look at her, still struggling. Are you going to be a good girl now and earn your diapee change, Brandi, or do you want to spend another day in your messy Pampers?” I loved how after all this time, the poor sissy still thought she had a choice, an opinion, or any shred of dignity left. “Is diaper rash really worse than sucking Connor's dick for the millionth time?” I asked sweetly, booping her on the nose.

I quietly spun my finger in a circle while smiling at Brandi, gesturing for Connor to turn the helpless sissy around. "Bend over, girlie," I commanded in my mommy voice, pushing Brandi's head down. "Do you know what day it is, little one?" I asked, unzipping the back of her PJs and pulling them down to her ankles. She struggled as Connor pressed his hand against the small of her back, her head shaking in confusion. "Daddy?" I asked with a wink at Connor. "Can you help our sweet girl remember what happened a whole year ago today?"

"Wow, can you believe it's been a whole year?" Connor teased as he slowly removed Brandi's plastic panties. My bull, with his hand wrapped tightly around Brandi's braided ponytail, forced her head back to meet his gaze. "Since. I. Started. Fucking. Your. Girlfriend." With each word, he punctuated it with a firm spank on Brandi's diapered bottom. Poor Brandi was squirming and struggling even harder now, tears were even welling in her eyes! "Wow, Daddy spanks hard doesn’t he? Thank goodness I double diapered you!" I laughed, "otherwise, poor Brandi would be making a huge mess all over her crib!"

Connor couldn't get enough of spanking his pathetic little sissy cuckold, aiming right for her exposed thighs. That means it's been a year now since I made you my bitch! And all those years you thought you were better me? Now look at you! You fucking sissy!" Poor Brandi was crying and begging behind her gag with each smack, sobbing now. "Mmmmph! Mmmmph!"

Connor was getting rougher and rougher, reveling in her humiliation. "I can't understand you, loser!" He laughed, yanking her up by her hair again. I didn't want to tire her out before the real fun even started! "But to celebrate,” I intervened, rubbing Connor's strong back, calming him down, “Daddy and I have planned your Sissy First Birthday! We've even invited all our friends, some of your coworkers, and a few special guests! Oh, and of course, we decorated the backyard for your special party!"

“Let’s get her ready!” I laughed, tugging Brandi toward me by her hair. “I’ll change your diapee now and you can give Daddy that special kiss you owe him later when all your friends arrive!” I turned to Connor; “Babe, could you hold her down for me? She’s probably going to be a squirmy little sissy when she sees her special outfit…”

#humili sissi

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mellowsadistic · 2 years

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Jessie played with her toys, pouting. This was so stupid! She was a grown woman for goodness sake, yet here she was shuffling around her nursery wearing a nappy like some dumb baby.

She took a deep breath. It would be over soon, she told herself. One month, that was how long her boyfriend had to diaper train her. He’d agreed that if he couldn’t do it in that time, he’d let her be a big girl again. She supposed she should count herself lucky. A lot of other women weren’t being given a choice at all – a couple of her friends had already been reduced to a pair of stupid little Pamper packers.

Jessie wrinkled her nose in disgust. It was pathetic! How could anyone let that happen to them? They obviously hadn’t been resisting hard enough. She sneered. Maybe they even liked it. There was certainly no way a strong-willed woman like her was going to end up as some dumb little diaper dumper!

She shuffled over to a pile of baby blocks, her nappy squishing wetly between her thighs. She didn’t remember going pee-pee, but that was okay. As long as she still had her bowel control, she wouldn’t count as fully diaper trained. And she could easily get her bladder control back when the month was up. Only one week left!

She grunted softly and bent over, concentrating on stacking her blocks. There was a strange fullness in her bottom, but the feeling went away quickly, and she ignored it. She’d just finished stacking a load of blocks together when she froze. Something had squished against her bottom. She gave her hips a little wiggle. There was definitely something back there. Her diaper felt heavier. Then a yucky smell reached her noise.

Jessie straightened up, a chill running down her spine. No…She couldn’t have… Not without noticing… With mounting horror, she reached behind her and cupped the seat of what was obviously a droopy, messy, fully loaded nappy.

Her mouth dropped open. No! This couldn’t be happening! This might happen to other girls, but not her!

“Uh-oh!” came a deep, amused voice from behind her, and she looked around sharply to see her boyfriend standing in the doorway, smirking. “I think someone’s made a stinky!” he cooed. Then he tilted his head, looking at her curiously. “That’s funny. You usually come and beg me to let you use the potty when you have to go poo-poo.”

“I didn’t…” she began, disoriented, “I didn’t realise… I didn’t know…”

Her boyfriend’s eyes seemed to light up, and a sinister smile spread across his face. “You didn’t know you had to go?” he finished for her.

Jessie could only look up at him in horror, but he could see the answer in her face.

“Good girl!” he gushed, walking over to kiss her on the forehead. There was a mocking sweetness in his tone. “What a good girl for messing yourself without knowing! Tell Daddy all about it, princess. Did you feel yourself start to go poopy? Or did you just realise you were messy all of a sudden?”

But Jessie just stared ahead of her, wide-eyed and horrified. A low whining started in her throat, and then, “I don’t wanna be incontinent!” she wailed, breaking down into tears.

“Awww, it’s okay sweetheart,” her boyfriend cooed, pulling her into a cuddle and reaching down to pat the sagging seat of her loaded nappy. “You’ll get used to being a yucky little pants-pooper.”

She cried even harder at that.

“No more toilets for my little princess!” he went on happily. “Just think – you actually thought that I wouldn’t be able to nappy train you. And now you’re just another diaper-dependent baby woman.” He pulled out of the hug and cupped her face gently in his hand, wiping away her tears. “You used to make fun of girls like that, didn’t you sweetie?” he asked, his eyes glittering maliciously. “The ones who’d failed to prevent themselves being fully nappy trained by their husbands or boyfriends. Remind me what you always called them again?”

Jessie screwed up her eyes in shame, crying even more. “P… P… Pamper packers!” she hiccupped.

“That’s right,” her boyfriend said, nodding thoughtfully. “I guess that’s what you are now, isn’t it baby?” He spoke lightly, but his eyes were still sparkling with sadistic delight.

When she didn’t answer, he put a finger under her chin and tilted her head up to look at him. “What are you, little one?” he asked firmly.

Jessie sobbed again, staring up at him through her tear-stained eyes. “I’m a Pamper packer…” she whimpered.

“A bit louder, sweetie.”

“I’m a Pamper packer!” she cried.

“And what else did you call those girls, sweetie?” he asked. “What was your other name for them?”

Jessie mewled pathetically. “Diaper dumpers!” she sobbed.

“And you are…” he began for her.

“I’m a diaper dumper!” she wailed.

Her Daddy smiled, satisfied. “That’s my good girl. I can’t wait to parade you in front of all your friends in your messy nappies. But that will have to come later. Lie down on your back, darling. I think my Pamper-packing, diaper-dumping, nappy-filling little girlfriend needs a change!”

#mellowsadistic

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ocelotrootbeer264 · 8 months

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Smg4, having depression: Everyone hates me... I bet I'm a disgrace

Smg3: You're right.

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Everyone trying to get in the RV (smg4 is driving and everyone wants to sit with Smg4):

Smg3: Shotgun!

Everyone went sad and look at Smg3 and freaked out:

Smg3: I found a shotgun! And I'm taking the front seat. *cocks gun*

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Smg4: *dresses up in a fancy tuxedo and is a blushing mess* I'm so excited!!!

Smg3: *glares at Smg4 in concern* We're going to a funeral-

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Smg3: *reading a riddle* It can’t be touched and can’t be felt. It can’t be seen, or heard, or smelt. It lies behind stars and under hills, and any empty holes it fills. It comes early and follows after, ends life, and kills laughter. What is it?

Mario: Gas

Meggy: death

Smg4: Memes

Smg3: *shaking* Its Darkness-

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Smg4: Hey 3, is eggdog spayed?

Smg3: No, why?

Smg4: it's heat season. I didn't spayed beeg Smg4 either.

Smg3: Isn't beeg smg4 a plush.

Smg4: oh.... then why was I seeing a dog on its stomach and a plush humping a dog?

Smg3: WAIT WHAT-

------------

Smg4: *reading a Twitter post- "Will you kiss your friend on the lips for $9,000?"*

Smg4: *looks at smg3 and grabs Smg3's face to make him look at him*

Smg3: Smg4, what are you-

Smg4: *kisses Smg3 on lips*

(I feel like that wasn't a incorrect quote...)

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Blue toad: All 3 are you are going to be executed. You got 3 options. The electric chair, being hang, or 20 men firing at you.

Smg3: Uh.... The electric chair.

Blue toad: Very well then. Send him to the electric chair!

Smg3: *is sitting on the electric chair* Oh no! I think I'm the chosen one....

Blue toad: Well perhaps I have to go with the girl!

Smg3: *whispers to Meggy* The electric chair is broken.

Blue toad: Choose your death!

Meggy: Uh the electric chair.

Blue toad: Very well then. Send her to the electric chair!

Meggy: *is sitting on the electric chair* Oh, I'm also the chosen one!

Blue toad: hmmm alright.... let's go with the man then.

Meggy: *whispers to Smg4* The electric chair is broken.

Blue toad: Choose your death!

Smg4: Since the electric chair is broken, I guess I have to get fired by 20 men.

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Smg4: *drinking sparkling water* it tastes good.

Smg3: Does it have flavor?

Smg4: No.

Smg3: then add some, it'll taste good.

Smg4: Nah, it would ruin the flavor.

Smg3:

Smg3: You just said it has no flavor-

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Therapist: Ok, what do you say after someone does something for your?

Smg3: What do you want.

Therapist: no..... you say thank you.

Smg3: Oh, OK!

Therapist: What do you say after someone does something for you?

Smg3: *sounds happy* Thank you!

Therapist: Yes!-

Smg3: *goes back to a tired "I don't give a fuck" tone* Now, what do you want.

Therapist: No......

--------

Smg4: *singing to Mario* Happy birthday to you-

Smg3: You smell like poo, you look like a animal, go back to the zoo!

Smg4: Bro-

#smg4 #smg3 #funny #incorrect quotes #I'm sorry if it short.#smg4 beeg smg4 #smg4 eggdog #meggy spletzer #mario

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0sincerelyella · 9 months

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Hi! Can I please request Josh Allen at his wedding and you reveal yourself in your wedding dress and you see him and his tux for the first time. (Like those trends where the bride reveals herself to surprise her husband before going down the aisle) thank you!!!

I’m gonna puke right now -Josh Allen

Summary: y/n and josh have a private first look. full and full of surprises

Notes: YOU GUYS ARE ABSOLUTELY SPOILING ME WITH THESE REQUESTS

there will be an insta post sorta thing at the end. this is also a double wammy sorta thing. 😎

he is absolutely adorable

You’d think dating the woman of your dreams for ten years would make you less nervous on your wedding day.

not for josh. josh thinks that if he married y/n the day they met he would’ve been less nervous then now.

as he finished the last sentence on the letter he was sending y/n before they got married, a private vow swap as they like to call it, his hand was shaking more than it has before any football game he’s ever played in.

he handed his brother the letter and took a breath as y/ns sister knocked on the door

josh opened it, y/s (your sister) smiled and handed josh the letter. “your so handsome josh, she’s gonna cry”

“i’m gonna cry. and puke” josh said, running his hand through his hair. “josh no! don’t ruin your hair” jason, josh’s brother, said

y/s laughed, flatting his hair. “your gonna be fine”

y/s walked away after jason handed her the letter.

y/n on the other hand, was having an amazing time. she was twirling around in her beautiful dress, dancing to taylor swift as y/s walked into the room. “read the letter y/n, it’s almost time for first looks.” y/n sat down, opening the letter

Dear y/n, my princess

fr bro, i can smell you from here PLS take a shower before i kiss you at the alter, xoxo -joshy poo

ps: for real though I wish i got down on one knee the second i knocked on your dorm. it was love at first sight and the thought of having a life without you hasn’t even occurred to me since. I think the Lord wanted us to be married, not only because we’re perfect together but also because it takes a miracle for the bengals to win a super bowl. I can’t WAIT to see you in that dress princess. also, i’m seriously about to puke

love, joshy<3

y/n laughed, holding the letter to her chest. “joshy” she smiled even brighter.

Josh was beyond nervous to read the letter, or for y/n to read her letter. “josh, read the letter” jason said, putting his hand on josh’s shoulder. “if y/n wasn’t a hundred and ten percent sure about the both of you she wouldn’t have stayed with you ten years. i know i would’ve left you 10 years ago” he joked.

josh took a breath, opening the letter.

Dear Joshy,

Not gonna lie you are a butt munch and i want to punch you all the time. i can not wait to want to punch you everyday of the rest of my life. you are my everything, and i thank you for letting me find myself and my career, and now i get to work with you and be with you for the rest of forever. i really do love you so so much. except i actually hate you, love you babes :)

love, your princess

Josh felt the burning in the back of his throat. he shook his head with a bright smile. “jason, i really love her” josh said, folding the letter and putting it in his bag.

“i know you do josh, it’s time to go see her”

Josh stood, smoothing out his suit, and fixing his hair. “i’m seriously going to vomit” josh said, standing in front of the door.

“your telling me, when you open this door, my girl is going to be standing outside of the other door in a beautiful dress that i havnt seen and that’s the last time i’ll ever see her as my girlfriend?” jason laughed. “your both gonna be blind folded” he explained, putting the blind fold on josh’s eyes. “when y/n says, you’ll both take your blind folds off” josh nodded, completely sightless “in less than an hour she’s gonna be your wife” josh was holding his breath trying not to cry.

jason stood at the door with his hand on the knob. “ready josh?” josh nodded “i can’t wait” so jason opened the door, and josh stepped out of it.

“hi joshy” y/n said. y/n hadn’t told josh that she wasn’t blind folded, she had a surprise.

josh had a bag in his pocket, they were doing a present exchange. a forever gift as y/n has been calling it. josh reached his hand out. “y/n” he whispered under his breath, he didn’t know how to talk. “y/n baby, i love you” he said as she took his hand into her own. “i can’t believe we’re getting married today” y/n said, as her sister and jason went back into seperate rooms, leaving the two alone.

y/n wasn’t blindfolded, josh didn’t know.

“josh i want to open your present first” she said, her finger running over his hand “can you see me?” she giggled “yeah” josh scoffed “you suck!” he laughed, smiling at his future wife. he reached into his pocket and pulled out the small bag.

it was a small locket, y/n opened it, looking at the pictures inside of it. “joshy…” the pictures where the two of them in her college dorm, and the two of them on their first date at his football game. “this is beautiful” she whispered under her breath.

after skillfully putting the locket on, wanting it for the wedding, and she put her hand on josh’s face. “i’m gonna take your blindfold off josh” he smiled. “i want to see my beautiful girl”

she pulled off his blind fold and his mouth fell open. “y/n…” he looked at his fiancé, studying her entire body. “it’s so beautiful, your so so beautiful” his eyes welled with tears. “i’m gonna vomit” he said, making y/n almost fall over from laughing.

josh was full on face full of tears, “i never saw myself being married to anyone.” he held both her hands. “but the second i saw you in your bummed out clothes and your messy hair all i could think about was marrying you one day.” he pulled one hand up and wiped his tears away. “i am so happy, because,” he took a breath because of a sob irrupting from his throat. y/n pulled him into a hug. he buried his head into her shoulder. “do not ruin my dress joshua!” she laughed, hugging him close. “i’m so happy because i found the person who is going to grow old with me.” he looked up from the hug, putting his hand on her cheek. “and you are the most beautiful girl in the entire world

y/n” y/n smiled, then her eyes brightened up “josh!” she giggled, letting go of his hands and putting them into her dress. “it has pockets!!” she showed, twirling around with happiness as she remembered the main reason she bought this dress

“oh yeah” she then pulled out a stick, not wrapped, not bagged, just the stick it’s self, placing it into his hand.

“no your kidding” josh said, as he realized what she just placed in his hand. “this is your present?” his hands began to shake. “Y/n your joking, like this is really fake” his eyes welled with tears again, and y/ns did as well

“we’re having a baby josh” she whispered, he looked up into her eyes. “i’m gonna be a dad” she nodded, and he pulled her into a big hug. as josh cried, holding y/n, jason and y/s walked into the hall. “it’s time” y/s said, josh let go of y/n, kissing her cheek.

“i’ll see you at the alter beautiful”

y/n smiled, watching her future husband walk out of the room with jason, and she saw the exact moment josh told jason he was goin go to be a dad. josh turned once more to look at his fiancé one last time as his fiancé “i’m gonna puke right now”

Y/nAllen

Liked by Joshallenqb, jasonallen and 123,456 others

Y/nAllen: peep the username change😎

comments-

joshallenqb: hey we match!

user5: is that A PREGNANCY TEST??

user7: stop you guys are my favorite couple to ever exist

jasonallen: he cried harder than i’ve ever seen anyone cry before

y/sinsta: i will actually break his kneecaps

Joshallenqb

liked by y/nallen, y/sinsta and 734,567 others

joshallenqb: normalize men crying over their beautiful wives

comments-

y/nallen: normalize beautiful wives crying over mcdonald’s not having ice cream

——> user8: real

jasonallen: get y/n her mcdonald’s man

y/sinsta: he kept threatening to vomit but not even once did he puke, im proud

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odetodilfs · 1 year

Text

Fight (Jim Hopper/m! reader) You and Jim are having a fight over El going to spend time with Max, as things get more and more heated Jim kisses you hard...

CW: degradation, daddy, overstimulation and a very minor scent kink Mostly smut, but a bit of fluff at the end

“Oh lord you know damn well El should be able to hang out as much as she fucking wants, Jim, she’s a teenager!” you said angrily, as much as you loved Jim, he was a bit controlling of El…

“I’m just tryna protect her! Sorry for wanting to be a good father!” Jim said, angrily, screaming at you, a bit of his spit hitting your face.

“Well then learn from your mistakes!! It’s not hard, Jim, for fuck’s sake!” Jim stopped screaming, red faced, sweating, he moved in fast and he just roped you in for a wet kiss, you didn't even have time to react, but you kissed him back as you got lost in the sensation of his angry kiss, as you both felt the fight come to an end…

You moaned into the kiss, your tongues and lips meshing together, clinging to each other. You tasted Jim’s kiss, he tasted like heaven, he suddenly slid his hand under your shirt and you slid your hand into his pants, feeling the growing bulge, the dick you’d probably be sucking, until you finally split apart for air, but immediately kissing again in the same needy, horny and desperate way. He started rubbing your ass as you tugged on his boner, you could feel the big, meaty cock pulse in your hand as you jerked it, Jim just laid you down on the coach with a low groan and immediately started grinding onto you as he kissed you.

You were so dizzy with lust, feeling that dick on your ass, teasing you made you go crazy, you moaned more an more into the kiss as you finally pulled apart, Jim stared into your eyes, intensely looking at you with lust in his eyes, “Suck my dick, get between my legs and suck it” he told you, not asked you, told you, as you immediately got between his legs as he sat up on the couch, you could now take in the smell of musk between his legs, with the built up sweat from work and from your fight, you savored it before pulling down his pants and setting his cock free, you immediately started stroking it, “Now you fucking slut, I told you to SUCK, not to jerk me off, to suck my dick” he said, slapping you lightly across the face and putting his cock into your mouth. It tasted incredible, the precum in your mouth and his manly aroma mixing with your saliva. You slowly started sucking on the head, “Suck it deeper, whore” he commanded, as you started going down, but you could tell Jim was growing impatient, “Jesus, hurry the fuck up bitch!” he said as he jammed his cock into your throat, you gagged at this but he kept it in there, feeling your throat spasm around his big cock. You pulled away and after 2 breaths you were back at it again eagerly “Fuckin’ love my cock, don’t you my little slut?” he said, his cock halfway down your throat, he was just teasing you, he knew you couldn’t answer.

You tried to nod while his hand firmly gripped your head, keeping you on his dick, you finally got to the base of his cock, your throat begging you to pull off, but Hopper kept you well locked on his dick with his hand, until finally, he let you pull off, you gasped for air, “Good boy” he said, your cock twitched at that, “you’re fucking loving it aren’t you? Me calling you a good boy?” “Yes daddy” you said, almost moaning.

“Beg for me to fuck you” he said, grinning in a malicious way,

“Please daddy, I beg you to fuck me, I promise I’ll be a very good boy and take your dick like the good slut I am”

“Hmmm, beg some more for me” he said, taking pleasure from the desperate look on your face” “Please, fuck me hard, give it to me, I’ll take your dick like a little good slut, please! I beg you!”

“Such a fucking slut, so desperate for my dick, that’s how I like it” he said, while lubing his dick an your ass up, “Maybe I could also eat you out” he said, you moaned as you felt his mustache on your ass, your precum pooling on your navel as he ate you out, his tongue did not leave a single place untouched.

After what seemed like an eternity of eating you out, he finally lined his dick up to your ass, now loose from the attention his mouth and fingers had given you.

You felt the tip pop through as you moaned and his dick just slid in deeper until he was buried to the hilt in you, he started fucking you gently but his teasing had you close already, “Oh god- i’m gonna cum-” you said, you felt Jim pull out of your ass “Not yet” he smiled maliciously as you whimpered from your denied orgasm, after a while he shoved it back in and you moaned, he was filling you so much, holy fuck he was big.”My dick just slid in there, you fucking want this so much don’t you?” he said, as he picked up speed,

“Yes daddy, I really do, fucking destroy me!” he started pounding you, very hard, he fucked you until you came, your dick spewed out your cum, you came so hard as you clenched around Jim’s cock, seeing you like this, your body full of your own cum and moaning made him fuck you even faster, you felt so much pleasure, he was overstimulating you.

The pleasure was starting to turn overwhelming and right as you were about to black out he stopped, leaving his dick in your ass, feeling your walls, his dick poking into you, he leaned over and gruffly said into your ear “Hmmm, tired already huh? he whispered teasefully, “Yes” you managed to breathe out, he was absolutely wrecking you, you know damn well your ass was gonna be so sore next morning, but you didn’t care, all you wanted was his dick in your ass and the kisses he was trailing all over you, “Too bad, I’m gonna keep going until I cum” he said, with a smirk and continuing the hard fuck, you felt like a hole for his dick, and you liked it, you wanted him to please himself with you as he wished, he kept thrusting hard into you, “Good boy” he kept saying, “Keep that dick in your ass… fuck… so close” his hips started clapping against yours now as another mind shattering orgasm washed over you, you screamed and clenched your ass down hard on Jim’s cock, “Fuck!” he screamed as his cock pulsed inside you and his cum shot inside you, you marveled at the experience and Hopper collapsed right on top of you, you both stayed locked together, full of sweat, panting, until he withdrew his dick from your ass, he kissed you tenderly.

“Was that good? Did you like it?” he said with a smile as if he hadn’t just fucked your brains out, “I loved it” you said tiredly.

“Aw, are you tired darling?” he said, almost babying you,

“Yeah…” “Then let’s go to our room and sleep a bit” he said as he hauled you in his arms and laid you on the bed and started to kiss you all over, you laughed and smiled non stop while he did the same, “I love you so damn much…” he said, “I love you too” you said as he slept cuddling with you.

------------------------------------------------------------------ Hope you enjoyed that!!! I'm working on another fanfic of him, but I hope you enjoyed this one!!

#jim hopper #jim hopper x male reader #male reader #the way i'd lick this man all over #smut #david harbour #jim hopper smut #male reader smut

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theesirenteller · 8 months

Text

Crisps and Milk. Raymond Smith

Dad!Raymond Smith.

︵‿︵‿୨♡୧‿︵‿︵

The British hitman had savored the rich flavor of his latest scotch. Compliments of a dear friend of his from yorkshire. It was a quiet night that was rather chilly and Raymond was working late. The night called for something smooth and strong to relax his mind and warm his throat.

"Mummy said no snacks after bedtime," A mousy voice echoed through the wide-spaced kitchen.

Raymond closed his eyes and cursed under his breath before clearing his throat, "Yes Richard." He turned on his heel and looked down at the pint sized boy in yellow striped pjs and square rimmed glasses. "But that only applies to you lad. You should be asleep."

The boy crossed his arms against his chest. Scrunching his button nose as he turned it up at his father. The pair both adjusted their glasses with a single finger pressed against the metal center. "Call her and ask her then."

Raymond sighed as he ran his hand across his hair. That was out of the question. "What'd you want lad?"

A cheeky grin spread across the boy's face. Stretching so widely that his pink gums showed "Mr.cow and I have requested cheese crisps and milk."

"How original." Raymond chuckled, "Why am I not surprised."

"You drink apple juice daddy." Richard frowned in disgust, "It smells like puppy poo."

A rumbled laugh escaped Raymond's lips as he set his glass down. He holsted the boy up into his arms before ruffling his chocolate-brown coils. The boy's laughter filled his heart with joy. He hadn't known his son for long but the moment the boy stepped into his life; Raymond's world grew brighter and his heart grew softer. The pair shared a pack of Richard's favorite cheesy quavers. Cheese dust covered Raymond's beard after Richard had finished tossing a few into his father's mouth.

The boy was tuckered out after the last two crisps but still yearned for milk. "Time for bed lad, you can have your milk there." Raymond once loathed drinks or food in the bedroom. But once Richard had come along, all that had changed. The four-year-old had required a sippy cup of milk to sip on in bed, He specifically liked to be tucked underneath multiple blankets, and his plushie Mr. Cow laid beside him.

Richard was soon tucked in the right side of Raymond's bed. Raymond laid Mr.Cow underneath the boy's arm before placing a soft kiss against Richard's forehead. The boy patted his father's broad shoulder in return and placed a milk-stained kiss against Raymond's cheek. "I love you, Daddy, Get some sleep or you'll get old mummy says."

"I'll take your word for it, I love you too." Raymond smiled as he removed the boy's glasses before standing up and leaving the room.

#dilf raymond smith #raymond smith drabble #Raymond smith fluff #thesirentellerfanfics #raymond smith #charlie hunnam

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canirove · 1 year

Text

Alejandro Garnacho Imagine | one

Author’s note: This is a request from Wattpad. They wanted something with Garnacho where he and the reader are young parents. I know his girlfriend is expecting a boy, but in this case he's a girl's dad 😁 And there are mentions of 💩, you've been warned 😅 I hope you like it, and thank you for reading! 💜

Masterlist

"You do it."

"No, you do it."

"I did the last one."

"No, you didn't."

"Yes, I did."

"No, you didn't, Alejandro. Look" I say, showing him my phone.

"What is that?"

"A list of the times you've taken care of it versus the times I've done it. I did the last one, see?"

"I can't believe you are keeping track of the times we change her diaper when she poos" he laughs.

"It's the only way to make sure you don't cheat and run away" I shrug.

"But I can't do it today, I already got changed into my tracksuit. Imagine that there is an explosion! I can't show up at Old Trafford smelling like poo!"

"Sorry" I shrug again.

"What if I cross paths with Sir Alex and I smell like poo? What will he think about me?"

"He's a dad and he knows that you also are a dad, a very new one. Didn't he ask you the other day how it was going?"

"He did, yeah. He was so nice… He even told me I could ask him for advice if I needed it."

"Then if you show up today smelling like poo, he'll understand. Though you can also tell him it's not you, that it comes from City's changing room."

"Woah, so savage" Alejandro laughs.

"Am I wrong, tho?" I smirk. "Anyway, enough talking. It's diaper time."

"Ok, fine. I'll do it" he sighs.

"Thank you" I say, kissing his cheek.

"Let's see what surprise the little one has for us tod… joder!"

"Oh my God" I say, taking a step back.

"It smells like shit!"

"Because it is shit!" I laugh, covering my nose and mouth with my hand.

"What did you feed her today?"

"She's two months old. You know what she ate today."

"Then what did you eat? Something rotten?"

"Idiot" I say, hitting in the arm. "I ate the same thing you did."

"I don't believe you. Look at the colour too, it is so… disgusting."

"Stop complaining and clean it."

"I can't."

"Alejandro, do it. If you keep staring at it while it is there in the open, you will definitely end up with your clothes smelling like poo."

"Ok, ok… I'll do it. Just stay still, ok?" he says to our daughter. "You don't want people to make fun of your papá, do you? No, you don't. Because you are a very good girl. One who definitely has something wrong with her tummy, but a very good girl."

"See, it wasn't that difficult. And look how happy she looks."

"Of course she is happy. I just got rid of a monster. Make you sure you throw it away, I don't want it growing legs and attacking us at night."

"I will, don't worry" I laugh.

"And now, papá is going to kick some Manchester City asses. Yes, he is" he says with a stupid voice, making our daughter do something like a giggle .

"Kicking asses metaphorically."

"Yes, yes. We don't actually kick asses… though sometimes we have to" he whispers, kissing her cheek. "See you after the game, ok?"

"We'll be there" I smile.

━━━━━━❃━━━━━━

"There they are! The two most beautiful girls in Manchester!" Alejandro says, walking towards us.

"Congratulations on the win and that goal."

"Thank you very much" he says before kissing me. "And how is the little one?"

"She just woke up."

"Just in time" he says, picking her up from the buggy. "Wait, what is that smell?"

"What?"

"That smell. Did she…" he says, lifting her and moving her closer to his face. "No! Again!"

"What?"

"She did it again!"

"No, she didn't!"

"She did!"

"I don't smell anything."

"You are used to the smell. It comes from you after all" he smirks.

"Idiot!" I say, hitting him.

"Hey, careful! I'm holding her!" he says, still smiling.

"She doesn't smell of anything. You are just trolling me."

"Maybe I am" he shrugs. "What are you typing on your phone now?"

"That you are an idiot who just earned himself a whole week of poo duty."

"I what?"

"What you deserve" I grin.

"That's not fair."

"It's already written on the list, there is no coming back now."

"You mother is a rude woman" he says to our daughter.

"And so is your father."

"Maybe that's why we love each other so much" he says, hugging me with his free arm and kissing my head.

"Maybe it is" I smile.

#alejandro garnacho #alejandro garnacho imagine #alejandro garnacho fanfic #alejandro garnacho x reader #football imagine #football fanfic

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enegmaticallygothic · 8 months

Text

The Fast food Outing

Mommy pulled me along across the parking lot to the Taco haven. I yawned ,stretching my arms while pulling on both of her shoulders. She pulled up my sagging morning diaper and gave me a kiss on the forehead.”oo I know you just woke up my baby boy, how was the ride in your new car seat.” I just nuzzled my face into her chest and lightly groaned.we had been driving since 7 am this morning and she had made the expert decision to ignore the sodden state of my diaper and chose to leave me in a sagging old night time diaper.we grabbed our food from the counter not before squeezing my behind, we sat found a table near the center where we had our own little nook. I sat down and winced as my cold padding squished between every crevice of my behind.” Is my poor baby hungry?” I nodded and grabbed a burrito from the bag of food. she quickly took it out of my hands and stuck out her finger.”let mama get it.” she had her serious face on, eyebrows raised and eyes not daring to break our gaze. She began to cut up the burrito into pieces and began to remove more food from the bag to do the same. She spoon fed me bite after bite, I had no time in between bites to speak.

This was a common theme with mommy these days, she had started to really feed me as much as she could. She often sported me in outfits reminiscent to that of piglets and baby elephants.making comments like,”a fat baby is a healthy baby”, and “ you should eat more sweetie.” She often never lets me leave the table without finishing multiple servings or more so-the whole meal usually made to serve 4. i sat in my wet diaper getting fed for about 15 more minutes until we gathered our trash and left. As we approached the car she opened her door first to start the car. She always likes to have ‘ private ‘ time after meals. She lowered the back seats down and climbed in with her legs open in a v shape, she gestured for me to come to her and sit between her legs. I got in and closed the door behind us as I sat between her legs. She pulled me into a bear hug and nuzzled the top of my head while planting little kisses on me. She then started to rub my back and slowly beat in a rhythm. I let out a long belch and she giggled,”my sweet little piglet.” i pushed out my butt to fart before I realized it was a little more than just a fart. “Uh*u-uhrrpp* mama? I *BUURRP* gotta poop..” I said quietly in between burps. She just kissed my face and said in the most soothing voice,”does someone have to go poopy? Go ahead my little baby.”

I barely had to push at all for it to all to come out ,slowly but surely filling up every inch of my shorts. I could feel some spill out of the side into my sweats but I didn’t care anymore the relief was worth the ickyness. she lowered my head down to her chest level and pulled down her tank top exposing her bra. She pulled out her swollen breast and began to guide my head head towards it. She placed her hand on my full diaper and cupped my bottom tight to hug me close to her. i started to fall asleep suckling as she was humming and stroking my hair.”you know honey we don’t have any spare Huggies with us right now so were gonna have to go pick some up. So you might be in this diaper for a little while longer.” I started to whimper,”hey now,” she snapped. “Whose mommies little piggy huh?” She began to tickle me and repeat that over and over. I started laughing uncontrollably and and wriggled around in my messy state,”I am..” I said with a slight smile. She grabbed my head and kissed me on the forehead. She then buckled me into my seat which was a bit of a struggle to snap over my diaper that was bursting at the seems. she booped me on the nose and hopped in the drivers seat. “Oooof it smells like somebody went poo poo.” She fanned her nose as she giggled and we drove away, the car teeming with the stench of poopy shorts.

#poopydiaper #ab dl

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ecoamerica · 1 month

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youtube

Watch the 2024 American Climate Leadership Awards for High School Students now: https://youtu.be/5C-bb9PoRLc

The recording is now available on ecoAmerica's YouTube channel for viewers to be inspired by student climate leaders! Join Aishah-Nyeta Brown & Jerome Foster II and be inspired by student climate leaders as we recognize the High School Student finalists. Watch now to find out which student received the $25,000 grand prize and top recognition!

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toiletguy · 7 months

Text

Age: 27

Gender: Male (FtM)

Pronouns: He/Him

Location: Arizona

Kinks: Coprophilia, coprophagia, eproctophilia, urophilia, face sitting, heavy cum loads, pants pooing

What I want: I want a boyfriend or girlfriend that will make me smell their farts, kiss their ass, and eat their shit. I like taking heavy cum shots in the ass. Down for group fun as well and public play.

I will send photos if I receive photos in return.

#gas kink #coprophilia #pants pooping #male farts #human toilet #farting #piss kink #bubble guts #pants messing #diarrhea

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tinyboxxtink · 8 months

Text

"Summer Of '87" {Chapter 10}

Tag List:

@gingertimelord

@witchwolflea

@loliakeoghan23

@fancytragedything

@eg-dr3amer3

@wanniiieeee

Hey hi hello!

Sorry these are slow, to be honest with you I jumped into this story with no set plot, so I'm winging it. So if you'd like to see this go somewhere, suggestions are welcome! I know there's gotta be some kind of catastrophic vent, i just don't know what yet.

Also forewarning:

The NEXT chapter will be very MA. SO, y'know, get ready for that.

Chapter 9

----------------

The next morning you woke up in Eddie’s arms. He had stripped down to his boxers due to the heat from your bodies,and his sweat stuck to your shoulder.

“Mmm, wake up baby,” you nudged him softly. “We gotta get downstairs before they start looking for us,”

“Mmmmm, five more minutes,” he whined softly.

“Alright, I’ll go fix us some coffee.” you chuckled as you changed into fresh clothes.

Eddie turned to respond but saw you in your undergarments and let out a small gasp.

“I’m up I’m up!” He sat up excitedly.

“Oh lord,” you giggled while pulling your shirt on. “Tonight, baby. I promise,”

“You’re so mean,” he pouted as there was a knock on the door.

“Eddie? Y/N?” Dustin’s voice called softly. “Please tell me you're dressed,”

“See?!” you hissed as you tossed him his pants. “What would’ve happened if we were…y’know?!”

“No i don’t know because we haven’t done anything,” he teased as he stood up to go change in your bathroom.

“You’re gonna get it later,” you threatened him with violence.

“Oh I hope so,” he grinned, taking it sexually.

You flipped him a playful bird as he shut the door and you opened yours.

“Hey!” you smiled brightly. “We’re good, just heading down actually!”

“Cool,” Dustin sighed in relief. “Steve made breakfast,”

“He did what?!” you half laughed in disbelief as you both walked down the hall to the stairs. The smell of bacon began filling your nostrils as you headed down into the kitchen.

Steve was indeed flipping pancakes while Nancy was serving eggs and Jonathan poured the kids orange juice. All the kids sat at your huge dining room table; they all greeted you when you walked down.

“Hey, I hope you don’t mind,” Steve gestured to his pan. “The kids were hungry, and you were so cool last night I wanted to make up for being a dick,”

“Oh, you weren’t that bad,” you assured him as you took a seat at the bar. “But I appreciate the sentiment. I don’t think this kitchen has ever smelled this good,”

“What?” he laughed. “You’re telling me mommy and daddy didn’t have a gourmet chef in here cooking you breakfast?”

“Steve,” Nancy nudged him. “You’re doing it again,”

“My bad,” Steve made a face.

“It’s fine,” you waved your hand in dismissal. “And no, my parents wouldn’t ‘waste their money’ on something frivolous as a chef. Not when they had plenty of money to eat out,”

“Wouldn’t that be more expensive than a…?” Robin started to ask.

“I don’t bother trying to interpret my parent’s crazy, Robin,” you stopped her with a small, sad chuckle.

Eddie walked down soon after, causing greater greetings from the group.

“Wow, Harrington,” Eddie walked over and wrapped his arms around your waist. “You’re even more of a mom than I thought,”

“Ha ha,” Steve rolled his eyes. “And where have you been?”

“Nunya” Eddie stuck his tongue out.

“Nice,” you rolled your eyes playfully.

“Hey!” he exclaimed. “That was a great comeback,”

“Sure it was baby,” you kissed the tip of his nose.

“Baby?” Mike made a face. “So you guys are together?” he glanced at Dustin in protection.

“I said it was okay,” Dustin assured him. “I think they’re cute,”

“Oh like you and Suzie poo?” Erika asked while the others laughed.

“Who is Suzie Poo?” You raised an eyebrow as you asked.

“Dustin’s girlfriend,” Eddie grinned as Dustin turned red.

“A girlriend?!” you gasped. “Well, I think I’m gonna have to meet this girlfriend of yours,”

“Good luck,” he laughed. “She lives in Utah,”

Utah?” you made a face. “Then how--?”

“Math camp,” Dustin answered before you finished.

“Math camp?” you repeated, stifling a laugh.

Hey!” Dustin was even more offended. “Not even a day as my sister and you’re giving me shit?”

“Sister?” El asked, looking between you two. “She is your sister?”

“Yeah, don’t you remember?”

“But you said she is a lying sk--”

“NO,” Mike slapped a hand over her mouth. “No, no we didn’t,”

“Uh huh,” you crossed your arms.

“Okay maybe we did, but we were only saying it for Dustin,”

“Riiiight,” you nodded, more than a little hurt.

“I’m sorry,” El said apologetically. “I do not like being cruel to people. Friends don’t lie,”

“Uh…okay,” you nodded awkwardly, not really understanding her but took the apology.

“ANYWAY,” Dustin spoke over the two of you. “We’re all friends now! And Y/N is my sister, so everyone’s happy. Right?”

“Hell yeah!” Lucas smiled. “Now we can use the pool anytime!”

“Anytime we ASK, Lucas.” Max corrected him.

“Right,” Lucas mumbled while digging into his food that was now served.

“Well I can use it whenever I want,” Dustin beamed.

“And if Dustin wants to have you guys over, just make sure you have an adult with you.” You informed them while getting coffee.

“Adult?” WIll laughed. “Do you qualify any of our siblings to be ‘adults’?”

“Hey I’m nobody’s sibling!” Steve protested.

“Like it or not man, you’re their big brother.” Eddie slapped his back.

“More like babysitter,” Erika snickered.

“Alright, anyone over 18,” you clarified, trying to stop the arguing.

“So can we swim after breakfast?” El asked hopefully while wolfing down waffles.

“I mean, sure,” you shrugged while glancing at the “Adults”. “As long as your parents aren’t concerned…”

“Dude they LITERALLY never check on us,” Dustin laughed.

“He’s right,” Mike agreed. “We broke into a crazy science lab and helped El save the world without them even asking a question.”

“Wow,” you half laughed. “And I thought my parents were absent,”

“So can we stay?” WIll smiled. You were amazed at how cheerful his demeanor was after all the shit that he went through.

“Sure,” you nodded as you finished your coffee. “I’ll just change into my suit,”

“Well, I need to go home and shower, I’ve got grown up things to do today,” Nancy shook her head as she looked for her purse.

“Grown up things?” you giggled. “It’s summer!”

“I have a job, thank you.” Nancy acted more than offended.

“She’s the editor at the Hawkins Gazette” Jonathan clarified.

“Oh, sorry. That must be so esteemed,” you tried not rolling your eyes.

“Whatever, we’ll see you later I’m sure,” Nancy rolled her own eyes as her and Jonathan walked out and to the door.

“She’s a delight, really,” you chuckled as you refilled your coffee cup.

“She just takes some getting used to,” Steve laughed himself. “Trust me, took me months to get her to go out with me,”

“Yeah, I still don’t know how you put up with her,” you shook your head as the kids took off to the backyard.

“Hey, Nancy is a badass,” Robin suddenly spoke up after entering the kitchen last.

“Where have you been, slacker?” Steve teased.

“I hate mornings,” she pouted as she went to get some coffee.

“Well I should go see my uncle,” Eddie stretched out as he talked, revaealing a bit of his happy trail. You did your best not to blush.

“I didn’t see him last night, he’s probably worried,” he continued while taking your hands. “Unlike them my ‘parent’ actually gives a shit,”

“Hey!” Robin hit him. “My mom’s concerned if I'm not home 10 minutes after my shift,”

“Ouch,” you giggled. “I’d rather have a absent mom than an overbearing one,”

“Tell me about it,” she sighed as she went to get dressed. “Twenty minutes dingus or I’m leaving without you!”

“She means me,” Steve sighed as he put the dishes in the dishwasher.

“Yeah, I kinda got that,” you teased. “Esteemed career calling you too?”

“Oh yeah,” he laughed sarcastically. “That video store would fall apart without me,”

“Ooooh, Family Video?” your eyes lit up. “We should go rent a movie later!”

“Please don’t,” Steve begged. “Munson likes to show up and fuck with me,”

“It’s so easy, Harringto,” he chuckled. “I can’t help it,”

“Yeah yeah,” Steve rolled his eyes as he gathered his stuff. Soon Robin came down dressed as well, and they headed out.

“Well would ya look at that?” Eddie smirked while moving his mouth to your neck from behind you. “House all to ourselves,”

“Eddie, the kids are outside,” You moaned softly.

“Babe they’re almost taller than I am, I think they’ll be okay for a bit,”

“A bit?” you looked at him quizzically. “And how long is a bit?”

“Long enough for us to take a shower…together,” he winked, making your face turn beet red.

“Mmmm, that does sound tempting,” you sighed.

“I promise to be quick,” his eyes flickered with mischief.

“Not too quick though,” you stuck your tongue out as he raced you up the stairs.

The kids would be fine for a bit, right?

---------------------------------------

if you llke what you read, please considering buying me a Ko-Fi☕, it's the only source of income I have right now. https://ko-fi.com/tinyboxtink

#eddie munson #eddie munson x reader #eddie munson x you #eddie munson x y/n #eddie munson fanfic #eddie munson imagine #stranger things #stranger things 4 #joseph quinn

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banana-zim · 1 year

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Dib was a boney thing. He crawled over Zim with his skeleton legs and his skeleton arms, his skeleton butt and his skeleton charm. Zim huffed and clicked, he did not like Dib's greasy hair so slicked. It smells like goo, his farts like poo, wouldn't you be offended too?

But Dib was his, and his alone, he was the monkey boy for this insect to own. Zim's arms fit around his human's waist, to the forehead a kiss was placed, and Dib nuzzled in close where Zim was his home base. Two idiots together, what a pair they were, sleeping entwined and without a stir.

#oh the things i write to amuse poop :)#zadr #invader zim #dib membrane #my writing

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mellowsadistic · 2 years

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“What’s the matter, sweet girl?” Sophie’s boyfriend crooned.

Sophie patted the front of her bulky disposable nappy and pouted, looking imploringly up at her boyfriend-turned-caregiver.

“Awww, does Daddy’s little princess need her nappy changed?” he cooed, condescension dripping from his voice.

Sophie cringed at his tone, but nodded. “Yes, Daddy.”

“Let’s give you a little check then,” he said, sitting down on the bed and slipping a finger inside the leg-band of her nappy. Sophie squirmed in embarrassment as his finger invaded her most private area, poking and prodding, feeling the wetness in her pants. “Such a soggy baby! How could such a little girl have so much wee-wees in her, hmm?”

Then he sniffed the air and squeezed the bottom of her nappy, a frown forming on his face. “You haven’t made a stinky yet,” he said sternly. “You know the rules, sweetheart. You don’t get a nappy change unless you’ve done a poo-poo.”

“But it’s soaking wet!” she whined, wiggling in frustration and wrinkling her nose as the sodden padding squished between her legs. A strong smell of pee surrounded her. “It’s disgusting!”

“Sophie…” her boyfriend said warningly. “Is that how babies talk?

"No, Daddy!” Sophie squeaked. “I mean… it’s so yucky-wucky!” she corrected, blushing furiously. Speaking in baby-talk always made her feel utterly ridiculous, but Daddy said it was good for her to feel like a stupid little girl. He wanted to make sure she could never take herself seriously.

“Time to make a messy nappy for Daddy, little one. Then you can have a change.”

“I… I thought that maybe I could use the big-girl potty for that, Daddy?” Sophie suggested, a note of desperation in her voice. “Pwetty pwease? Going poo-poo in my pants is super-duper icky!”

“Don’t be silly, Sophie,” her boyfriend scolded. “You’ve said bye-bye to the toilet forever, remember? You’re wearing your potty now. Does Daddy have to give you a spanking to drive the message home?”

“No Daddy!” Sophie whimpered. “Pwease don’t give me an ouchie bum-bum!” At first Sophie had fought her boyfriend when he’d insisted on regression training, but a few trips over his knee had put an end to that. She wished it wasn’t true, hated herself for it, but a few smacks on her bottom were all it had taken to turn Sophie from a strong, independent woman into a helpless, obedient little girl. She closed her eyes in shame and started grunting quietly, her face turning crimson with exertion and humiliation as she filled her pants like an overgrown baby.

“Good girl!” her boyfriend praised, leaning over to kiss Sophie’s forehead and run his fingers through one of her dark pigtails. “That’s my little stinker!”

Sophie mewled, a wave of nausea washing over her as she pushed the enormous, disgusting mess into the seat of her nappy. She’d never felt more pathetic in all her life. Finally, she finished. Eyes wet, any semblance of dignity gone, Sophie looked helplessly at her boyfriend.

“Such a stinky baby!” he teased. “Now we’ll just wait an hour or so to make sure you haven’t got any poopies left in you, then Daddy will change your messy nappy. Okay, baby?”

At that, Sophie burst into tears.

#mellowsadistic

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ecoamerica · 1 month

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youtube

Watch the American Climate Leadership Awards 2024 now: https://youtu.be/bWiW4Rp8vF0?feature=shared

The American Climate Leadership Awards 2024 broadcast recording is now available on ecoAmerica's YouTube channel for viewers to be inspired by active climate leaders. Watch to find out which finalist received the $50,000 grand prize! Hosted by Vanessa Hauc and featuring Bill McKibben and Katharine Hayhoe!

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