#someone with covid needs to spit in my mouth if i get it again it’s gonna be bad so bring it the fuck on covid kill my lungs

[ultraviolencced]

.

#and the few hours of happiness are over and going home is not going to be fun #my sister was on the phone with my mom and my mom is so fucking loud i could hear what she was saying and in what Tone of voice #and like i suspected she’s mad at me #i told her months ago that i shouldn’t have taken the trip i can’t afford all of it and that physically it’s going to wreck me #and for months she’s been encouraging it telling me it’s ok and it’s gonna be fun #but now i fucked up and she’s going to me mad at me which will either mean no communication at all she’s just going to ignore me #or be passive aggressive or straight up yell at me #i still get the same feeling as i did when i was a teenager getting in trouble it’s awful #like i’m so grateful for her bc i’m almost 27 and can’t live on my own because i’m unemployed because i have more than one disabilities #but she crushes my spirit sometimes:) #when i was 16 me and my friends went to a concert in denver and my mom and her boyfriend at the time took us and went to a sports bar #she was fully aware of what time the concert ended but because she wanted to leave #she screamed at me when i walked out and she did that all the way home 60miles with my two friends in the car #i didn’t leave my room for three days because of how upset i was and thought she was going to continue yelling at me #my sister is totally selling me out right now she’s on the phone with her and waited til she went out to the car to talk to her away from me #but she had to bring me the key card to soak my arthritis filled body in the hot tub so she came and gave it to me and that’s when #i heard the conversation and now want to sit at the bottom of the hot tub and never come back up :) #i didn’t even get a full day of paul serotonin high not even 12 hours :) #someone with covid needs to spit in my mouth if i get it again it’s gonna be bad so bring it the fuck on covid kill my lungs #i’ve also spent most of this trip crying from various anxieties and this is the cherry on top of the shit cake #i don’t know what the fuck i’m supposed to do #i’ll stop my lupus treatments and seizure meds that’ll do the trick #i’m not doing good on main right now #shut the fuck up taylor

[qqueenofhades]

Do you really hate this county? Or were you just ranting?

Sigh. I debated whether or not to answer this, since I usually keep the real-life/politics/depressing current events to a relative minimum on this blog, except when I really can't avoid ranting about it. But I have some things to get off my chest, it seems, and you did ask. So.

The thing is, any American with a single modicum of genuine historical consciousness knows that despite all the triumphalist mythology about Pulling Up By Our Bootstraps and the American Dream and etc, this country was founded and built on the massive and systematic exploitation and extermination of Black and Indigenous people. And now, when we are barely (400 years later!!!) getting to a point of acknowledging that in a widespread way, oh my god the screaming. I'm so sick of the American right wing I could spit for so many reasons, not least of which is the increasingly reductive and reactive attempts to put the genie back in the bottle and set up hysterical boogeymen about how Teaching Your Children Critical Race Theory is the end of all things. They have forfeited all pretense of being a real governing party; remember how their only platform at the 2020 RNC was "support whatever Trump says?" They have devolved to the point where the cruelty IS the point, to everyone who doesn't fit the nakedly white supremacist mold. They don't have anything to do aside from attempt to usher in actual, literal, dictionary-definition-of-fascism and sponsor armed revolts against the peaceful transfer of power.

That is fucking exhausting to be aware of all the time, especially with the knowledge that if we miss a single election cycle -- which is exceptionally easy to do with the way the Democratic electorate needs to be wooed and courted and herded like cats every single time, rather than just getting their asses to the polls and voting to keep Nazis out of office -- they will be right back in power again. If Manchin and Sinema don't get over their poseur pearl-clutching and either nuke the filibuster or carve out an exception for voting rights, the John Lewis Voting Rights Act is never going to get passed, no matter how many boilerplate appeals the Democratic leadership makes on Twitter. In which case, the 2022 midterms are going to give us Kevin McCarthy, Speaker of the House (I threw up in my mouth a little typing that) and right back to the Mitch McConnell Obstruction Power Hour in the Senate. The Online Left (TM) will then blame the Democrats for not doing more to stop them. These are, of course, the same people who refused to vote for Hillary Clinton out of precious moral purity reasons in 2016, handed the election to Trump, and now like to complain when the Trump-stacked Supreme Court reliably churns out terrible decisions. Gee, it's almost like elections have consequences!!

Aside from my exasperation with the death-cult right-wing fascists and the Online Left (TM), I am sick and tired of how forty years of "trickle-down" Reaganomics has created a world where billionaires can just fly to space for the fun of it, while the rest of America (and the world) is even more sick, poor, overheated, economically deprived, and unable to survive the biggest public health crisis in a century, even if half the elected leadership wasn't actively trying to sabotage it. Did you know that half of American workers can't even afford a one-bedroom apartment? Plus the obvious scandal that is race relations, health care, paid leave, the education system (or lack thereof), etc etc. I'm so tired of this America Is The Greatest Country in the World mindless jingoistic catchphrasing. We are an empire in the late stages of collapse and it's not going to be pretty for anyone. We have been poisoned on sociopathic-libertarian-selfishness-disguised-as-Freedom ideology for so long that that's all there is left. We have become a country of idiots who believe everything their idiot friends post on social media, but in a very real sense, it's not directly those individuals' fault. How could they, when they have been very deliberately cultivated into that mindset and stripped of critical thinking skills, to serve a noxious combination of money, power, and ideology?

I am tired of the fact that I have become so drained of empathy that when I see news about more people who refused to get the vaccine predictably dying of COVID, my reaction is "eh, whatever, they kind of deserved it." I KNOW that is not a good mindset to have, and I am doing my best to maintain my personal attempts to be kind to those I meet and to do my small part to make the world better. I know these are human beings who believed what they were told by people that they (for whatever reason) thought knew better than them, and that they are part of someone's family, they had loved ones, etc. But I just can't summon up the will to give a single damn about them (I'm keeping a bingo card of right-wing anti-vax radio hosts who die of COVID and every time it's like, "Alexa, play Another One Bites The Dust.") The course that the pandemic took in 21st-century America was not preordained or inevitable. It was (and continues to be) drastically mismanaged for cynical political reasons, and the legacy of the Former Guy continues to poison any attempts to bring it under control or convince people to get a goddamn vaccine. We now have over 100,000 patients hospitalized with COVID across the country -- more than last summer, when the vaccines weren't available.

I have been open about my fury about the devaluation of the humanities and other critical thinking skills, about the fact that as an academic in this field, my chances of getting a full-time job for which I have trained extensively and acquired a specialist PhD are... very low. I am tired of the fact that Americans have been encouraged to believe whatever bullshit they fucking please, regardless of whether it is remotely true, and told that any attempt to correct them is "anti-freedom." I am tired of how little the education system functions in a useful way at all -- not necessarily due to the fault of teachers, who have to work with what they're given, and who are basically heroes struggling stubbornly along in a profession that actively hates them, but because of relentless under-funding, political interference, and furious attempts, as discussed above, to keep white America safely in the dark about its actual history. I am tired of the fact that grade school education basically relies on passing the right standardized tests, the end. I am tired of the implication that the truth is too scary or "un-American" to handle. I am tired. Tired.

I know as well that "America" is not synonymous in all cases with "capitalist imperialist white-supremacist corporate death cult." This is still the most diverse country in the world. "America" is not just rich white middle-aged Republicans. "America" involves a ton of people of color, women, LGBTQ people, Muslims, Jews, Christians of good will (I have a whole other rant on how American Christianity as a whole has yielded all pretense of being any sort of a principled moral opposition), white allies, etc etc. all trying to make a better world. The blue, highly vaccinated, Biden-winning states and counties are leading the economic recovery and enacting all kinds of progressive-wishlist dream policies. We DID get rid of the Orange One via the electoral process and avert fascism at the ballot box, which is almost unheard-of, historically speaking. But because, as also discussed above, certain elements of the Democratic electorate need to fall in love with a candidate every single time or threaten to withhold their vote to punish the rest of the country for not being Progressive Enough, these gains are constantly fragile and at risk of being undone in the next electoral cycle. Yes, the existing system is a crock of shit. But it's what we've got right now, and the other alternative is open fascism, which we all got a terrifying taste of over the last four years. I don't know about you, but I really don't want to go back.

So... I don't know. I don't know if that stacks up to hate. I do hate almost everything about what this country currently is, structurally speaking, but I recognize that is not identical with the many people who still live here and are trying to do their best, including my friends, family, and myself. I am exhausted by the fact that as an older millennial, I am expected to survive multiple cataclysmic economic crashes, a planet that is literally boiling alive, a barely functional political system run on black cash, lies, and xenophobia, a total lack of critical thinking skills, renewed assaults on women/queer people/POC/etc, and somehow feel like I'm confident or prepared for the future. Not all these problems are only America's fault alone. The West as a whole bears huge responsibility for the current clusterfuck that the world is in, for many reasons, and so do some non-Western countries. But there is no denying that many of these problems have ultimate American roots. See how the ongoing fad for right-wing authoritarian strongmen around the world has them modeling themselves openly on Trump (like Brazil's lunatic president, Jair Bolsonaro, who talks all the time about how Trump is his political role model). See what's going on in Afghanistan right now. Etc. etc.

Anyway. I am very, very tired. There you have it.

#anonymous #ask #politics for ts #covid for ts #i had a lot to say evidently #rant

[mettlekettle]

Killer- Harry Styles x fem!reader

hii everyone!!! it feels like ive been gone for so long. I have so many wips but no motivation to finish them lol. new harry photos inspired me today bc i absolutely want harry to rail me while covered in blood,,, anywhoooo please reblog!!!!! it motivates me so much when i get love on my writing!!!

read my other fics if you want!!! 

masterlist

warnings: daddy kink, sub y/n, dom harry, fake blood, throat fucking and covid doesn’t exist bc fuck that <3

word count: 2.5k

“Cut!” Olivia yells ending the intense scene Harry was filming. “Take a little break H, then we’ll do the next scene with the blood”. Harry sighs wiping his forehead while trying not to mess up the carefully placed fake blood. He walks to the snack table, picking up a tiny water bottle and drinking it quickly.

“Hey killer,” he hears from beside him, looking to see his girlfriend of two years. She’s looking up at him with a soft smirk on her pretty face. She was bored at home, and she thought that Harry would appreciate her company at work for a little bit. What she wasn’t expecting was Harry to be covered in blood, wielding a knife and shouting like Billy from Scream, her first celebrity crush. Call her sadistic, but there was just something about scary hot men, covered in blood that just riled her up. 

“Baby! What are yeh doin’ here?” he gasps.

“Oh you know, just came to visit my favorite movie star,” y/n murmurs leaning up to kiss his cheek before looking behind him, “ooh here she is now! Hi Florence!” Harry groans, pouting down at the girl as she pulls his co-star into a big hug. 

“Why yeh gotta steal my girl every time she comes to set Flo,” he asks rhetorically, making a large mistake in the process. y/n and Florence share a mischievous look before bursting out into song.

“Everybody wanna steal my girl! Everybody wanna take her heart away! Couple people in the whole wide world! Find another cuz’ she belongs to me!” Harry groans again, before covering her mouth with his hand. y/n licks his palm and he pulls away quickly. Florence starts up a conversation with an extra, leaving the couple to themselves.

“You’re gross,” he says pointedly before grabbing her and wrapping his arms around his girl.

“And you’re hot.” y/n returns with the same tone. Harry pulls away from the hug, raising his eyebrows at the girl. “How do you look so good covered in fake blood?”

“Only you would think I look good covered in fake blood, my love,” he humours. y/n pouts shaking her head softly.

“No, no I think your fans would agree with me on this one. How much longer do you have before you need to be out there again? Wanna take me to your trailer?” she speaks smiling up at him. y/n knows how to get Harry riled up, batting her eyelashes always works when she wants him, and pretending to be innocent despite how much of a little tease she is. y/n was now grateful for the pretty floral dress she chose today, which was one that Harry, on many occasions, told her drove him crazy. The combination of his messy hair, the fake blood splattered across his body and watching him act scary and tough during the scene when she first arrived made her want him even more than she already did. y/n wanted him rough and mean. She wanted her daddy. 

“You little minx,” Harry smiles down at her, pulling her hips towards him.

“I have no idea what you mean by that H,” she giggles wrapping her arms around his neck.

“C’mon bunny, let's see how long I have to take care of my girl,” he pulls her along by her hand, finding the assistant director, and asking her how long until they start filming again.

“We’re having a few technical difficulties, so you’ll have about an hour,” she pauses, looking at the girl partially hidden behind Harry, “but if your hair and makeup gets messed up, you need to come back thirty minutes earlier so that it can get fixed”. Harry chuckles while y/n hides behind him more. Shy little thing she is, always gets embarrassed when people know things about their sex life. He turns them around and begins to walk to his trailer, pulling open the door, he leads her into the small area. Once the door is closed, y/n immediately drops to her knees tugging on his trousers. Harry quickly grabs a hold of her wrists.

“Wanna suck me off angel? What about you?” he questions. She whines, pulling her wrists out of his grip and unzipping his pants. She nods murmuring a small “you first” before taking his length out, pushing his pants down his legs. Harry’s already hard. How could he not be when his love wore his favorite dress and teased him just the way she knows drives him wild.

“S’pretty” y/n giggles up at him, and that’s how he can tell she’s feeling very submissive today.

“Yeah bunny? Like daddy’s cock?” Harry questions again, gathering her hair in his hands. y/n nods in response, leaning forward to lick the tip. Harry tuts softly, tugging her head away from him. “Use your words, I won’t repeat myself.” he growls, his accent thick and voice stern. 

“Sorry daddy, love your cock,” y/n hums. Harry allows her mouth to get close to him once again, not releasing his grip on her hair completely. She presses a few soft kisses to the vein running up his length before taking it in his mouth. The sweet little thing bobs her head up and down, using her hand to stroke the part she can't reach. Harry’s body is instantly wracked in pleasure, his stomach tensing up and his head thrown back as y/n sucks him exactly how he likes it. 

“Pretty girl,” he moans, “doin’ so good for me, always so fuckin’ good for me darling”. y/n knew she was dripping, his dominant persona never failed to get her going. She pressed her thighs together and wiggled her hips slightly, thanking whoever was up there that Harry was feeling too good to notice because she knew he wouldn’t hesitate to pull her over his lap and spank her till she was crying and her bum was sore for getting off without permission. Pulling off his cock and beginning to stroke it with both her hands is what causes Harry to look back down at the girl. “s’wrong ?” he speaks.

“Fuck my throat please?” her voice is quiet and her eyes are glossy.

“Yeh lost your voice last time baby, were sore f’days. Don’t wanna hurt you again,” Harry reasons. The pout on her spit covered lips grows, looking up at him with her glistening eyes.

“but I liked it last time, daddy. Pleaaaase?” she begs. She was being a brat, but he didn’t wanna punish her for lack of time. Harry’s mind was racing. 

“God you’re so fucking cute. If it gets to be too much you tap my thigh three times? Okay bunny? You gotta Promise me,” he gives in. y/n bounces a little on her knees excitedly.

“Promise daddy, we’ll stop if it's too much,” she agrees, shifting forward on her knees greedily opening her mouth. Harry couldn't help himself, moving forward himself he grips her hair, tilting her head back at the same time.

“Such a greedy little girl aren’t yeh?” he hums, “would let me do anything to you”. y/n nods as much as she can with his tight grip in her hair. Harry opens his mouth again, spitting directly onto her tongue. “Swallow.” he watches y/n’s throat bob and then reopens her mouth, showing him that she did in fact swallow it all. “Good girl,” he praises, “ready?”

She nods excitedly. Harry uses his grip on her hair to guide his cock into her mouth. As he pushes himself further into her throat he hears her gag, he pulls out, letting her breath for a moment. y/n breathes deeply a few times before opening her mouth again, letting him re-enter. Harry begins to thrust his hips, a shallow pattern interrupted by the wet sounds of y/n’s throat. He doesn’t take his eyes off her this time, wanting to watch her for two reasons: it was so fucking hot, and to make sure she’s okay. Sometimes his angel had the habit of pushing herself too far when it comes to Harry’s pleasure. He needed to make sure she wasn’t in any unbearable pain because of how big he was. As Harry’s thrusts became quicker, y/n let out some whimpers of her own, telling Harry that she was pressing her thighs together, hoping to relieve some pressure. 

“Fuck, bunny, m’so close,” he groans. y/n moves her hand to cup his balls, fondling them how she knows he likes. With one last thrust, Harry pulls out, jerking himself over y/n’s tongue, cumming in thick ropes. y/n envelopes his head in her mouth again, draining him completely. When she pulls away a string of spit connects her lips to the tip of Harry’s cock, making it twitch again. He moves his hand to her face to break the string, rubbing his thumb over her wet lips as he once again watches her swallow. Harry pulls his pants up his thighs, buttoning them and redoing the belt given to him by the costume specialist on set. He took a seat on the couch, adjusting himself before patting his thigh to signal to the dazed out girl that he wanted her near.

“C’mon baby,” he ordered. y/n stands on shaky legs, wobbling over to her boyfriend, sitting back on the couch, arms spread over the back. God her daddy is so hot. She takes a seat on his lap, placing her hands onto his shoulders. The white button down he was wearing had red blood spatter, just like his face. The thought of Harry making someone bleed, made her even more wet, holy, she’s gross. Why does this turn her on?

“Daddy,” she whimpers, grinding her clothed center against his crotch. Harry almost allows her to continue her endeavor before he remembers his probably expensive costume trousers. 

“Can’t make a mess of daddy’s clothes angel,” he moves his hand to her panties, feeling that she soaked through the undergarment, “soakin’ wet f’me aren’t yeh sweetheart?” 

“All f’you daddy,” y/n moans. Harry moves y/n so she’s laying down on the couch. Pushing her dress over her hips and he feels himself get slightly hard again when he sees the pink, cherry covered panties that y/n chose for today. 

“Fuck, you’re gorgeous,” he hisses, pulling them down her thighs, leaving a seductive kiss to the smooth skin of her knee. 

“Please,” she keens, desperately bucking her hips as Harry’s hands move over her hips. 

“Please what angel? Gotta ask for it bunny,” he speaks lowly, making sure she hangs onto every word.

“Please, want your fingers H,” y/n begs. Harry smirks at the girl. Pulling off the fake wedding band that was used for filming. Something felt wrong about fucking the girl he was one day going to marry with a wedding ring on his hand. He placed the ring in his pocket before rubbing his fingers over her sopping wet cunt. Her hips bucked into his hand. After playing with her swollen clit for a moment he slipped a finger into her tight hole. 

“Always so tight sweet girl,” he growled. Pumping his long finger in and out of her, after he felt that she was loose enough he slipped another one inside her. Hearing her whines get louder, leaned close, pressing his lips to hers. When he began to rub his thumb over her clit along with fucking her with his fingers, she let out a sound that was between a scream and a squeal. Covering her mouth with his other hand he spoke into her ear gruffly, “shh bunny, just take it. Be a good girl for me”. He feels her hips buck suddenly, feeling her clench around him. “Cum f’me pet, soak my hand,” he grunted. y/n tried to close her legs but Harry was having none of it, he pried her legs open as she reached her high.

“Feels so good daddy, please don’t stop. Please please please ngh!” she rambled, tears beginning to stream down her cheeks. Harry smiled, continuing to work y/n through her orgasm. He only removed his thumb from her clit when she started writhing away from him. Harry lifted her onto his chest, laying down on the couch. He lifted the patterned blanket off the back of the couch, placing it over the pair. 

“Thank you,” she hummed softly into his neck. Harry ran his hand up her back, pressing a few kisses to her forehead. Her favorite form of aftercare has always been a good cuddle. Sometimes she likes a bath and then for Harry to brush her hair, but that was only when they had a very rough session where Harry threw a little bit of name calling in there. She liked when he was rough with her but sometimes her dazed out brain would really think that daddy thought she was just a slut. Harry always worked quickly to reassure his pretty girl that she was absolutely everything to him and help draw her out of her subspace.

“Have to go back soon,” he sighs

“Mmm don’t goooooo,” she groaned, trying to wiggle closer to him.

“Can come back with me baby,” he responds.

“I look like a mess H,” she complains. She sat up taking the small compact mirror of her bag on the floor, pulling out a makeup wipe as well. y/n wiped the mascara stains on her cheeks.

“You look like a goddess,” he says.

“Sure killer,” she hums. y/n picks her panties off the floor, sliding them back up her legs. Harry stands as well, moving to look in the mirror and see if he messed anything else.

“What’re yeh doin for the rest of the day angel?” he speaks softly, watching his girlfriend put herself together again. Her legs were still a bit shaky so Harry walked to the small fridge in the corner, pulling out a small bottle of iced tea. He pops the bottle open before handing it to her.

“Thanks bub, uh, I think I might go home and have a nap, miss you a bunch, take naughty photos and send them to you, you know. The usual,” she hums, taking a sip of the sugary drink.

“My little minx hmm?” he asks, placing his hands on her face. y/n threw arms around her neck, pressing a soft kiss to the mole beside his mouth. She brushes her thumb over the blood on his cheek. 

“My scary man. I love you,” she muses.

“Love yeh too, bunny”.

#harry styles #one direction #harry styles fanfiction #harry styles x reader #harry styles smut #smut #dom harry styles #daddy harry styles

[slafkovskys]

the way you do / t. emberson

☆★☆★☆★☆★☆★☆★☆★☆★☆★☆★☆★☆★

my masterlist!

title from fireproof by one direction

warning(s): swear words, mentions of a concussion, jealousy, accusations of cheating, also written in a no covid world :)

word count: 5.8k

-

you cheer along with only a portion of the crowd as the goal horn sounds, signaling what you knew was the first and last point of the night for wisconsin. while david gets to work on updating the instagram account from his spot beside you, your fingers rapidly type out a tweet to send out that would update the people who were following along there.

badgers are on the board thanks to tyler inamoto! the score is 3-1 arizona state with 0:10 left in the third period

“what are you doing after this?” david asks, looking back out onto the ice while you start a new tweet, just in case something were to happen in the next ten seconds. “i’m sure we can find some bar to sneak into. are you up for it?”

“i don’t know,” you sigh, focusing on the opposing team’s player as he takes the puck and shoots down the ice, attempting to beat the buzzer. you frown when the horn sounds, signaling the end of the game and a win for arizona, which you quickly update on. “it’s my turn to do the interviews and i don’t know how long that’s gonna take. i always have to chase someone down and i also said that i would help cole with his biology, but i think that’s going to be a plane ride home priority.”

“well, at least they’re all going to be in the same place for at least the next twelve hours or so. it shouldn’t be that hard to find who you want,” david stands up and you follow suit, making sure that you have your phone in your back pocket before following him towards the locker room. “besides, they like you more than they like me. you’ve got that midwestern charm and i’ve got an annoying southern accent.”

“your accent is not annoying. tell me who told you that it was and i will gladly humble them,” you look at the younger boy who smiles.

it was no secret that the boys were more acquainted with you rather than david as you had two years on him. while you were a senior, david was only a sophomore starting out with the team. this was your third year with them and you had taken him under your wing because he was going to be taking over for you next year when you were gone.

you make your way through the arena, taking a route that was closed off to the general public to make it back to the locker room to catch the boys before they got caught up in granato’s post-game speech.

“who am i talking to tonight?” you mumble to yourself as you tug at your bottom lip. you look up at david who was leaning against the wall across from you, “do you remember who i talked to last week? don’t look at me like that. so much has happened between now and then…”

“trouble in paradise?” he’s quick to joke, but the look that you send him causes the smile to drop from his face. his eyes widen, “please tell me-”

“we haven’t broken up, if that’s what you were going to say,” you look back down at your computer screen and shrug, “it’s just- he’s been acting weird since we landed. he’s so touchy and, yeah, we’ve had our moments. hell, we were long distance for two years, but this is- it’s just weird.”

“i mean, i’ve never been in a serious relationship, but you definitely need to talk to him. you’ve been together too long to let it fizzle out. you’re the only couple that i can tolerate,” he rolls his eyes and you send him a grin. “it’s true. you and ty are, like, royalty at wisconsin. i’m pretty sure that you’re the couple that has been together the longest.”

“maybe second longest. i met a girl last year who had been with her boyfriend for six years and we’ve only been together for five, so they have us beat,” you leave out the fact that both of them graduated last summer.

the boys trickle back quietly. you give them a moment to get settled before taking a deep breath and walking towards the entrance. you peek your head in and granato spots you immediately, waving you inside. “you’ve been spared for two minutes, boys. listen to the lady and don’t give her a hard time.”

you send him a nod in thanks before looking out over the room. you had all of their attention except for one and it was the person who you cared the most for. you send a soft smile as your eyes scan the room, “i don’t love any of you any less. you played a great game boys and you’re going to kill it tomorrow.”

“did you get any more stickers?” owen asks and you turn to look at him.

“i did, actually, but you can blame your captain for stealing them all before i could distribute them,” you look back at ty who looks at you with a cold look. you swallow the lump in your throat and quickly look towards the other ty who speaks up.

“do you think you could find those dinosaur ones again? those were badass.”

“i still have mine on my water bottle!”

“i missed the dinosaur pack.”

“that’s why you have to score, mike.”

yes, you were aware of how childish the stickers were. you used them as an incentive so that when they came to talk to you, they got to pick a sticker. the boys enjoyed them and even stuck them on their equipment sometimes when they could get away with it.  

“okay, back on track,” you look down at your computer. you tap your nails on the keypad before clicking your tongue, “i need to see tyler, roman, and brock’s brother-”

“hey!” cole shouts from beside you while your joke provokes some of the boys to laugh.

“just keeping you humble, caufield,” you wink and he rolls his eyes, sinking back into his stall. you shake your head, “i’m not going to make you talk to me tonight because honestly, i’m drained and i know all of you are too. but please do come find me during breakfast tomorrow because i do have deadlines that i have to meet and that’s stretching it far enough. if you decide that you want to be mean and not come, i will be even meaner and snitch and you can find yourself being worked overtime in practice. are we clear, gentlemen?”

“yes ma’am!”

“thank you and good night,” you wave your hand around as you exit the room, shaking your head at the claps that followed you out. you and david gather your things and head toward the bus, knowing very well that it would be a while before the boys would begin to file out. you flop down in your seat and sigh, “one down, one to go.”

even though it wasn’t often, you loved when you got the opportunity to go on road trips. you usually got to go on the ones that were just bus trips, but it was a rare occasion when you got to go on trips that had to be made by plane. once or twice during the season, however, you got to pick a trip that you wanted to come on and this year you had picked arizona. before ty had gotten drafted, you had never been nor had you ever really wanted to go to the state. after coming to see ty during his first development camp, you had pretty much fallen in love with it and had taken every opportunity to come and visit since.

“your future home,” david chuckles and you roll your eyes. “what? do you know something that i don’t?”

“there’s a lot of things that i can’t talk about, david and those that pertain to my boyfriend’s future career are ones that are at the top of the list. you aren’t getting any insider news from me, buddy,” you point an accusatory finger and he holds his hands up in surrender.  

“you could be my anonymous source?” he suggests, smirking when you flip him off.

it’s relatively quiet for the next half hour until the doors of the bus open and the boys start stumbling on. you close your laptop and leave it on the empty seat that ty usually occupied and stand up, pushing your way to the front. brock pats your head as he passes and you shove an elbow into his side, “dick.”

“he’s in a mood, princess. tread lightly.”

his warning makes you raise an eyebrow. you don’t have time to ask what he meant before ty rounds the corner. shay moves to the side to let you step off of the bus and you send him a grin. you meet ty in the middle, wrapping your arms around his neck, “i‘m proud of you.”

“are you?” he spits. his hands stay glued to his sides and you pull away, dropping your own. “cole’s on his way. wouldn’t you rather see him instead?”

“what are you talking about?”

“you seem to be real fucking close these days. you’re with him more than you’re with me, so is it wrong for me to just assume that you’re fucking him too?” your mouth gapes at his words.

“are you accusing me of cheating on you?” you lower your voice, very aware of his teammates that could definitely hear your conversation. he shrugs his shoulders, crossing his arms over his chest. “i know how you get after losses, but for you to go as far as to accuse me of cheating on you with a member of your team-”

“it’s fucking obvious, y/n. you’re so flirty with each other, sitting next to each other on the plane, and that shit in the locker room. i’m not oblivious.”

“fuck you, dude. i have given up so much for you and the fact that you can stand there and accuse me of doing that to you after everything that we’ve been through over the last five years, makes me wonder if it was even worth it.” you turn on your heel and march towards the bus, leaving him standing there looking shocked. you make your way up the stairs and the bus goes quiet as they stare at you, obviously having heard what happened outside. you swallow, “i’m sorry about that.”

you make your way back to your seat and grab your computer, propping your feet on the empty seat and shrinking against the window. the tears threaten to spill out from your eyes, but you don’t let them. once everyone is accounted for, the bus pulls away from the arena and heads for the hotel.

you run your fingers against your temples, trying to soothe the headache that had developed in the last five minutes. you could feel eyes on you and you look up to find jack sitting in the row of seats beside you. he opens his mouth to speak, but you shake your head, “please don’t.”

you grab your phone and quickly go to your messages, finding david’s contact and shooting your fingers across the screen quickly:

do you still feel like going out??

we have curfew

and after what just happened it doesn’t seem like a good idea

curfew is midnight and it’s not even ten yet. we’ll have a couple hours and after what just happened, going out seems like a great idea

are you in or not? because i’m going even if i have to go alone

let me go to my room first and i’ll meet you in the lobby

-

when you woke up the next morning, you were still tired. you had barely slept and the last thing you remembered before you were able to slip into unconsciousness was the sun slowly starting to peek through the window of your hotel room.

it took a few seconds for it to register that someone was pounding on your door. with a grunt, you throw the sheets away from your body and stumble towards the door. you look out of the peephole and your stomach sinks at who is standing on the other side. you undo the deadbolt and pull it open, “you should not be here.”

“don’t worry, he’s the one who sent me here. he also sent this and,” he pulls out a bouquet from behind his back, “these.”

“that’s not going to make me forgive him,” you shake your head and accept the flowers and the coffee cup from cole anyway, gesturing for him to come inside.

“believe me, we all told him that,” cole takes a seat on the spare bed and you look at him with a confused gaze. he raises an eyebrow, “y/n, you have the entire hockey team behind you. we’ve been giving him hell all night. dom even bunked with brock and jack in protest. also, i’m pretty sure that coach found out and brought him back down to earth, but you didn’t hear that from me.”

“did he-” you can’t even say it.

“no, he didn’t lose the c, but coach was very adamant that what happened was not captain behavior and that he’s on very thin ice,” he pauses for a minute and then grins, “ha, thin ice.”

you shake your head and lean against the desk in the corner of the room, “that’s good then.”

“he accused you of cheating on him and you’re worried about his letter status?”

“you don’t understand, cole,” he looks at you in a way that says ‘well, help me understand.’ you sigh, “we’ve been together since we were sixteen and seventeen years old. we’ve known each other even longer. i’ve watched him work his ass off and sacrifice so much to get where he is. the thought of him losing that over him saying some dumbass thing because he was pissed off breaks my heart in more ways than one. do i think that he’s an absolute asshole right now? absolutely. do i want to look at him? not really. but i still love him, cole. and i always will.”

he looks at you for a second before he pretends to wipe a tear from his eye, “really tugged on the heartstrings there, y/n. love is a crazy thing.”

“indeed it is. now get out of my room. i need to get ready for the day and i’m slightly hungover and hotel breakfast food sounds amazing right now,” you follow him towards the door.

“oh and just so we’re clear,” he shoves his hands in the pockets of his jacket as he faces you, “i made it very clear that you are way too old for me.”

you shove his shoulder, “considering that he’s the only exception for dating someone younger than me, you are way too young for me, cole caufield.”

“glad that we have an understanding,” he holds up his hand and you smack yours against it. with a grin, he makes his way towards the elevator and you close the door behind him.

you take your time getting ready, trying to hide the fact that you were recovering from a little too much alcohol you had practically inhaled at some bar downtown the night before that you couldn’t even remember the name of. you make sure all of your things are gathered and together because you knew that you wouldn’t want to do it when you returned.

you grab the things that you would need for the game and head downstairs. you walk into the conference room that had been set aside for the team and immediately head to grab your food. once your plate was piled high, you turn to find an empty and immediately your eyes lock with his. just by looking at him, you can tell that he hadn’t slept and even if he did, it wasn’t much.

your attention is pulled away from him by a shout of your name. owen is waving you over and shay is pointing at an empty seat, “we called dibs on you this morning.”

“too soon, lindy,” robbie shakes his head as you take the seat between owen and dylan. he looks at you concerned, “you good?”

“don’t worry about me boys. you have a game to win today and that’s what you should be focused on,” you try and distract them but none of them are buying what you’re trying to sell. you twist the cap off your water and take a sip before grabbing your fork, “seriously boys, i appreciate your concern, but i’m okay. i promise.”

“if you want us to beat him up for you, just say the word,” dylan offers and the table agrees. you raise an eyebrow, “we discussed it last night and we also have first dibs on defending your honor if you asked us to.”

“his roommates are next in line,” ryder points his fork at you and you smile.

“i’m glad to know that you would beat up your captain for me, boys.”

“he may be captain, but no one disrespects our y/n and gets away with it. who would give us stickers then?”

“we can’t have anything because of you, shay. she’s more than just the damn stickers.”

three o’clock comes quick and before you know it, you’re making your way down the tunnel to cheer for them as they come out, just as you always did. you clap as they line up in front of you. you avoid looking at him until you feel a tap on your ankle. you look down just in time to see a hockey stick being pulled away. you look up to find its owner staring right back at you, apologetically.

he nods his head, “i love you.”

“i love you too, twenty-one. don’t do anything stupid,” you cross your arms over your chest and give him your best ‘i’m not joking look.’ it was part of the routine that you two had developed over the last couple of years, and even though there was still some obvious tension between the two of you that had yet to be resolved, he hadn’t missed his chance to continue it.

he chuckles right as the announcer booms to the crowd to welcome them to the ice, “no promises.”

you watch as they file out, the cheers for them were not as loud as they were when you were on home ice, but you made sure to scream as loud as always. you and david make quick work of getting to your seats and he wasted no time in sending you a look, “are you-”

“we haven’t talked yet, no. we probably won’t even have time until we’re back home, but just because he’s being an asshole doesn’t mean i love him any less,” you defend yourself and he hums, looking out onto the ice.

when they get in position for puck drop, an uneasy feeling develops in your stomach. you try not to think about it as the puck hits the ice and the game begins, but unfortunately, it didn’t last long.

it was some freshman lineman known for being a menace. he’d been practically on top of ty every time that he got on the ice, shoving him when he didn’t have the puck, almost tripping him once, and of course, the refs were in their own little worlds and hadn’t called a penalty for anything.

eight minutes into the game was when it happened and when it happened, it happened quickly. you barely had time to blink before their gloves were off and their hands were tangled in each other’s jerseys. you stand up, watching as your boyfriend loses the upper hand quickly. in a matter of seconds, his helmet is somehow knocked off and he’s hitting the ice and-

he’s not moving.

“get the fuck up ty,” your hand covers your mouth as the trainers rush out onto the ice after they pull the guy off of him. you can see on the screen that he’s smirking as he’s led off the ice and down their tunnel. david grabs onto your arm as you stumble, “please get up baby.”

“y/n,” he says, but you don’t respond.

you let out a breath that you didn’t know you were holding when ty moves, taking a minute before he gets up with a lot of help from the trainers. you watch as he’s led off the ice and you swallow at the blood on his jersey. you turn towards david, “i have to-”

“go, babe. i can cover this. go check on him,” that was all that you needed before you scoot out of your row and quickly make your way down the stairs.

you wind up outside the locker room where you're stopped by a security guard. you hold up your badge that showed that you had permission to be there, but he gave you a disapproving look as he shakes his head. you pull out your phone, but anna walks out just in time, “anna!”

“i was just coming to get you,” she sighs, glaring at the security guard as he finally lets you pass. she wraps a hand around your arm as she leads you back to the room, “we’re pretty sure he has a minor concussion at least. paul’s giving him a check-up now and he’s going to decide what to do from there.”

“has he said anything?” you ask, mind running wild as it thinks of the worst.

“the only thing he asked for, even when he came to, was he wanted to see his wife. i told him that you weren’t married, but he wouldn’t hear it. it was just ‘my wife, my wife, my wife’ and that’s why i was coming to get you. he said if he has to go to the hospital or anything, he’s not going if you’re not there with him,” she says and you take a deep breath. she squeezes your arm as you stop outside of the closed door, “just don’t be too loud. he’s very sensitive to light and noise right now.”

“of course,” you nod and she opens the door. the lights were dimmed just a little, but you still easily spot him in the middle of the bed. paul stands beside him, checking on him while he sits up. he pulls away from paul’s hands and moves to get up, but you quickly get to his side, placing your hand on his shoulder and grabbing his hand, “don’t move, ty. let him do what he needs to do.”

“baby,” he whimpers and you squeeze his hand, pulling it up to your mouth and pressing a kiss to the skin. throughout the entire process, he doesn’t let go. he answers what he’s asked and when paul moves away, he pulls you close, “baby.”

“i know. i’m sorry,” you wrap your arm around his neck and press a soft kiss to the side of his head when he tucks his face into your neck.

“the good news is that i don’t think that you need to go to the emergency room,” paul announces, leaning against a table backed against the wall. he looks at the two of you, “but i don’t feel comfortable sending you back out there. you’ve got a minor concussion and if they aren’t treated right, they can go bad quick.”

“i know,” he says, squeezing your hip.

“so, what do we need to do?” you ask.

“i’m gonna see if i can get the bus to drop you guys back off at the hotel. he needs rest right now and it’ll be hard to get that in this environment,” he shakes his head, “who are you rooming with, ty?”

he winces at the sound of a muffled goal horn and you answer for him, “mersch.”

“if i give you a list of what to do, do you think that you can watch over him?”

“of course,” you nod and ty shifts.

“great. i know that he’s not supposed to be in your room after certain hours, but i think that coach will agree with me that in these circumstances, it’s necessary,” he says and you hum.

after he tells you the basics and makes sure that you have his phone number if you need something, you pull away from ty, “i’m gonna go and grab you some clothes, okay? i know you don’t want to be in that on the bus.”

“please don’t go,” he pleads, holding onto your hand as you go to step away. “you’re gonna leave me because of what i said.”

you look at paul briefly who looks concerned. at least there was someone who was out of the loop.

you shake your head and rub at his cheek, “no, baby. i’m coming back i promise. i’m just gonna go get your clothes from the locker room that’s right across the hall.”

“i’ll come with you,” he insists, moving to stand up.

both you and paul are quick to push him back down as gently as possible. paul pats his chest, “you can stay here with me big guy. i still have a couple of questions for you.”

hesitantly, he lets your hand go as you promise him once more that you were coming back. you make your way across the hall and find his stall, digging through his things to find some clothes for him that were not his suit.

once you find some sweats and a hoodie, you turn on your heel just as the boys start to file in. jack is the first to speak up, “is he okay?”

“minor concussion and as of right now, he doesn’t need to go to the emergency room, but paul’s pulling him for the game. i think we’re getting sent to the hotel where he’s going to be on mandatory rest until he gets checked on again before we leave tomorrow. so, please, i love you all so much and he does too, but just let him sleep. we don’t want this to turn into something major,” you give them all pleading eyes and they all nod.

you walk back across the hall to find coach talking with paul and ty laying back on the bed. instantly, he reaches out for you. granato looks at you, “you’re going to make sure he’s okay?”

“i’m going to try my best,” you assure him and he nods.

“i trust you a hell of a lot more than i trust mersch when it comes to these types of things,” he looks over to ty and pats his leg, “the bus is taking you two back to the hotel where you’re going to rest, got it?”

“yes sir,” he mumbles, eyes closed.

granato and paul leave the room as ty gets dressed. he does need some assistance and when he’s finally out of his gear, he sighs, “i never realized how extensive all of that was.”

“tell me about it,” you mumble. you look at him, “are you ready? do you think that you can get to the bus?”

“if you’ll go slow. you always walk so fast,” he complains and you grin. he throws an arm over your shoulder and you wrap an arm around his waist. you walk out of the door and he pauses, looking into the locker room, “can i-”

“you’ve probably got a minute or two before they have to go back,” you say and he nods. with help from you, he limps over to the doorway and the room goes quiet.

“boys,” he says, standing in front of you, but reaching out behind him for your hand. you take it and squeeze, “what’s the score?”

“we’re leading with one,” the other ty says and he nods. “you good, cap?”

“minor concussion, nothing i can’t handle. plus, i’ve got a good babysitter for tonight,” he turns to look at you with a grin and you send a small smile back. “win it, boys. don’t worry about me, just win.”

“tough speech, eh?” dom calls and some of the boys chuckle.

“did you miss the part about the concussion?” ty asks and dom rolls his eyes. “love you boys.”

there’s an echo of his admission before you finally began the trek to the bus. you take up a row in the middle, ty taking the seat by the window and resting his head on your shoulder. you trace the veins on his hand as the bus takes you back to the hotel, the entire trip spent in silence.

once you get him inside your hotel room, he wastes no time crawling into bed. he looks at you hopefully, “will you lay with me?”

“let me get out of these jeans,” you find a pair of shorts and a too-big t-shirt that belonged to him at some point before you slip in beside him.

he presses himself to your chest and you card your fingers through his hair, “i’m sorry about what i said, y/n.”

“not now, ty. you need to rest.”

he sighs, but he doesn’t argue. it wasn’t long before his breathing evens out and he goes limp against you, leaving you to your thoughts.

-

“rise and shine,” you mumble, poking at his cheek. he groans, curling his fingers in the fabric of your t-shirt as he shakes his head. “baby, you have to get up every few hours. aren’t you hungry?”

“do you have food?” he asks, not opening his eyes.

“i can order some, but you have to tell me what you want. i can’t read your mind,” he rolls over then, stretching his arms out over his head. “how do you feel?”

“my head hurts and my body’s sore,” he says. “i didn’t break anything, did i?”

“do you think that you did?” you raise your eyebrows, ready to reach for your phone to call paul.

“no, no, i just- i remember hitting the ice and not much else after. i remember when i came to that anna was standing over me and i wanted you, but you weren’t there. i was looking for you in the stands, but i couldn’t find you. i- i thought that you were gone.”

“i was there ty. they just moved our seats tonight because someone had those already. i’m not leaving, i would never leave,” you assure him, running your hand along his cheek. “we don’t need to talk about this right now. you need to eat and rest-”

“i want to talk about it though. it’s been eating me up inside ever since i said it,” he looks at you pleadingly and you sigh. “i was an ass.”

“you were,” you agree and he chuckles. “the thing is, it’s not even really so much that you think that i would do that to you. yes, it obviously hurt, but it’s more so the fact that you would do it in public. the entire team heard you.”

“i know and believe me, i’ve already had my ass chewed out about it by everyone in that locker room, and i mean everyone. you have an entire hockey team behind your back on this one.”

“they told me. they’re also forming a line to beat you up if i needed them to which is nice,” you smile. it’s quiet for a moment before you speak again, “why did you do it? that’s what i want to know.”

“because i was angry. i was angry about the game last night and i saw you and cole. i know you’re just friends and that you’ve been helping him with his school stuff or whatever, but when you were on the plane, you were just so giggly or whatever. than that in the locker room-”

“we were just playing around, ty. he’s literally like my little brother.”

“and i know that. he made it very clear last night that you are too old for him.”

“we have an understanding,” ty presses his lips to your shoulder and you swallow. “i’m still mad at you. i forgive you, but i’m still mad.”

“you have every right to be. what i said was out of line and uncalled for, i’m surprised that you’re talking to me right now,” he chuckles, wincing as he presses his fingers to the side of his head. “oh yeah, that’s why.”

“i can’t give you anything for another couple of hours. ‘m sorry, love,” you push his hair away from his face.

“can i ask you something?” he asks and you hum. “last night, you said that you’ve given up so much to be with me and i don’t doubt that you have, i know that you have, but is there something that you’re not telling me.”

“it’s not important,” you shake your head.

he sits up then, staring down at you, “what is it, y/n?”

“do you- um, do you remember when i applied for that internship for digital marketing the summer after you graduated? after my freshman year?” you ask, pushing yourself up and scooting back against the headboard.

“yeah, you didn’t get it,” he looks at you confused. you look down at your hands and he takes a deep breath, “y/n, you didn’t-”

“they wanted me to fly to new york on draft weekend and i explained that i couldn’t then, but i could on monday. i wasn’t going to miss hearing your name being called or watching you put on that jersey, ty. they told me if i couldn’t be there on that saturday to just not bother,” you explain, “and instead of getting on a plane to new york, i got on one for dallas with you.”

“that would’ve given you so many opportunities, y/n. why would you do that?”

“because i love you and we’d been talking about it for years, you getting drafted. there was no way in hell i was going to miss it,” you shrug. “it’s fine though. i got the hockey gig and now we spend an almost unhealthy amount of time together so-”

“but that would’ve been so much better for you. you could’ve gone anywhere with that. europe, australia, anywhere. working for a college hockey team won’t look as good on job applications as that internship would have.”

“it’s in the past now. don’t worry about it. i’m happy where i am,” he reaches out for your hand and you curl your fingers around his. “wherever you are, that’s where i’m happy. fuck new york, europe, australia, or wherever. wisconsin is good for me right now. me and you, that’s all that matters.”

“it’s me and you, baby,” he mumbles and you smile, “me and you against the world, just like we’ve always said.”

#ty emberson #ty emberson imagine #nhl imagine #hockey imagine #college hockey imagine #wisconsin badgers #arizona coyotes #my work

[sashi-ya]

{+18} – Cherry Blossom & Tangerines – Trafalgar Law x Y/n – Part 5

Modern AU. Trip to Jeju Island, SK. No spoilers.

Female reader. No physical descriptions. Everybody is +18, canon ages. Chopper is human.

Tw: NSFW, blindfolding, soft sub/dom, unprotected sex (this is just fiction, pls wear protection). Fluff. A little bit of ZoSan

A/N: I haven’t had the chance to visit South Korea due to Covid, so everything included is pure research. Excuse me in advance if there is something that’s not 100% accurate! Keep in mind is purely inspired ♥

AO3: https://archiveofourown.org/works/31059467

Word Count: 4.5 K

» List of parts: {P1} {P2} {P3} {P4} {P5} {P6}«

Chapter 5

“Y/n it's our turn, let’s sing!!” Vivi told me, while pulling me from my arm. “Vivi, wait”, I said. I kept watching how Law was still hugging the girl. “What is it?... Oi!”, Nami said, also witnessing the scene.

“Don’t go, just… wait”, I begged my redhead friend who was ready to kill him. I saw how the mysterious woman and Law laughed together. Zoro didn’t even care, he was more drunk than anything else.

The girl was ruffling his hair, pinching his cheeks. Law didn’t even look at me. I didn’t know if he was just simply so amused about the girl that he simply forgot about me, or, he was doing this on purpose, knowing that I’ll be watching, maybe to let me know he wasn’t going to commit to me in any way.

“That’s it. I’m leaving”, I stated. Vivi, Robin and Nami insisted on me shouting at Torao, but I couldn’t. I was so hurt, and, besides that, I wasn’t even his girlfriend, so I had no right to reproach anything to him.

The girls came with me, and we drove home. The boys didn’t realize we had left until long after we weren’t at the karaoke bar, when Sanji texted Nami asking what the hell had just happened. “Sanji, you should ask your stupid ass friend Torao, what the hell is he doing with a bitch?, plus, go get your boyfriend too, she is right next to him”, Nami said via audio.

Sanji sent an audio back, “Nami-swan! Zoro is not my boyfriend… wait, you were talking about him, right?, whatever, Torao is still with her, I’m gonna see who the hell is she and kick the hell out of stupid Law for hurting Y/n-chwan”.

I drove as fast as I could, at that point I only wanted to bury myself in bed and cry my eyes out. I was silent all the way. My friends knew there was no point in saying anything else, so they just strung along with me.

We got home, and Robin offered me some tea, yet, I politely turned the offering down and headed almost running to my bed. I covered myself up to my face, and pitiful tears sprouted from my eyes.

I heard my cell phone ring several times, I knew it was probably my friends asking if I was all right. But I didn’t have the strength to even see the screen.

“Why did you choose to hurt me like this, Law?” ... I whispered to myself, unable to understand why I was in that position, why after all the romantic stuff he has done for me he didn’t even care I was there…

I reached my phone and simply turned it off, I was fed up with it ringing. Some minutes, perhaps half an hour passed until I fell asleep, crying.

Suddenly, Nami’s loud screams woke me up. “TORAO, WHAT THE FUCK? WHY ARE YOU BRINGING THIS SLUT HOME?”.

I didn’t hear Law’s voice, but I did hear someone climbing the stairs, quickly, almost running.

The door opened suddenly with a loud sound, like someone kicking on it. I was still in bed, and the bang of the door made me take an upright position instantly.

There he was, the villain of my story with tears on his eyes, hopeless, shaking. “Y/n-ya!!! it’s not what you think, let me explain…” “STOP, what type of lie are you going to spit out from your stupid mouth?, plus, what the hell? I heard Nami saying you brought that girl home. Have you been drinking? Are you drunk? what the fuck?” I shouted at him, also crying.

Suddenly, before Law could say anything else, I saw a brunette, tanned, tall girl, with big eyes that resemble Law’s ones. She looked at me, smiling and peacefully said, “Hello Y/n, my name is Lami. Trafalgar, Lami”.

I opened my eyes, and mouth… “Trafalgar?”.

“That’s right! I’m Law 's sister! Nice to meet you! I’m sorry if you got things wrong!” she said to my stunned me. “Oi, brother, she is so pretty!! Even more than in the pictures!”.

“Oh God…”. I was somehow relieved that Law wasn’t flirting with a girl, yet mortified because not only me, but all my friends had called Law’s sister a slut… a bitch.

“I am… I am really sorry… And, uhm, N-nice to meet you…”, I said, wiping the tears on my eyes. “It’s ok, darling! I’m leaving you alone so you can talk in peace, I’ll be downstairs!”. “O-ok”, I said sniffing.

Law slowly approached to the left side of my bed and sat there, next to me, in silence. I wasn’t capable of saying anything to him, either. I had put up a show, he probably thought I was a toxic girl, jealous or even worse things. I had mistrusted him. It was probably the end of something that hadn’t even started.

Suddenly, Law hurled himself on me, hugged me and nuzzled on my lap. “I thought you wouldn’t believe me, I’m sorry, I really do. Lami lives in Jeju and I wanted her to meet you because she is not traveling to Seoul any sooner, we just decided that we will be meeting at the bar so… so you could get to know her”. He said, still with his head buried onto my legs.

“Law…”, I began to cry again. I petted his hair and told him “I am the one who should be sorry. I- I thought you were a bad guy, a typical man that doesn’t care about the girls. I am sorry…”. I felt horrible.

I could hear downstairs my friends laughing, Sanji and Zoro fighting, Luffy shouting. Luckily everybody would make Lami feel comfortable, after all. Law was still sobbing over my lap.

After several minutes I decided to speak up. “Law, stop, you are not the one who should be crying asking me for forgiveness. You did nothing wrong. I was completely mistaken. I hope you will be able to forgive me someday”, I said, gaining composure in order to make things clear.

He sat back, looked at me with teary eyes and asked, “someday? There is nothing to forgive. I want to be with you, I … L…”

“Oi, you two, stop crying, Lami is leaving”, said Nami leaning on the door frame, smiling at us. As she left, and Law wiped the tears off my cheeks, we stood up from bed. I was still dressed so we headed downstairs right away.

“Sis, let’s go, I don’t quite remember how to get your home from here, so you tell me”, said Law. Lami looked at him with loving eyes, and said, “My big brother is always taking care of me, I missed you doc”. Law’s cheeks became red, and he hid under the white with black spots cap he was wearing.

Lami said goodbye to everybody, except me, “she probably hates me”, I thought.

I was going to wish her a good night, when Lami held my hand and pulled from me. “Let’s go sister-in-law, come with us!”. I followed them into the car unsure if Law wanted me there, because he was still embarrassed as hell.

I let Law’s sister sit on the passenger seat, and I sat on the back seat behind Lami. A few seconds after Law started the car Lami said, “Oi, Y/n! did you know that Law has never ever introduced a girlfriend to the family before?”. I choked a little when I heard her say “girlfriend”, and simply chuckled. Law told her to stop, but Lami continued telling me how “emo” he was when he was an adolescent, making fun of his sibling.

We finally arrived at Lami's house. It was a traditional Jeju stone house, with big windows and a typical korean roof construction. On the entrance was a tall guy wearing a cap with “PENGUIN” written on it, waving at us. Law parked the car next to a black Hyundai Ioniq.

“Oi!! brother-in-law!!! How are you? It’s been a year my dear friend!” the guy at the door told Law. We descended the car, and the guy hugged Law in a way “man” do. Lami introduced me to the man, he was his boyfriend, and they had been living together for a few years, and apparently before dating Lami, Penguin knew Law since they were little.

We went inside, and had coffee while chatting about everything. I didn’t feel uncomfortable at any moment, Lami and Penguin were really warm people.

Law’s sister and I headed to the kitchen. It was a perfect opportunity to ask her about their parents so I thought of the best way to bring up the subject. I didn’t need to, because it was the first thing that Lami mentioned.

“Y/n, I’m sure my cold brother didn’t tell you anything about our parents… right?”, she said. I was helping her putting some mochi onto a plate, so I looked at her and said “Not really… At first I thought Rosinante was his father, but then I realized that his surname was Trafalgar, not Donquixote”.

“That’s right, Rosinante is something like Law’s dad. When my brother was 10 years old, my parents passed away in a car accident. They were both doctors, the best ones of this city. Law looks exactly like my dad when he was younger…”, she stopped for a little, and continued, “We stayed with our grandparents at the moment. After two years, Law became really ill and had to be taken to Seoul for some doctors to cure him. Luckily, Rosinante was a volunteer at the children’s hospital where Law was being treated. After six months of intense treatment, he recovered and forged a friendship with “Corasan” who took care of him… Oh sorry, I meant, Rosinante. Corasan it’s just a nickname Law gave him during… the chemotherapy...”, she concluded.

“Oh… poor baby…I’m sorry for your loss too, Lami” I said, feeling a lump in my throat. “Don’t worry, we are all right now, time has passed”, she said, grabbing my hand softly and smiling. She continued, “but let me tell you something, I’ve never seen Law with that type of twinkle in his eyes in the 24 years I’ve known him. He loves you; I can sense that. Plus, when you left the bar earlier, he became so desperate, he was truly worried about losing you”.

I blushed instantly, yet, I was so happy of hearing how he probably loves me that I giggled. And Lami, too.

From the living room we heard Law calling me, “Bab… Y/n-ya, let’s go home it is pretty late”. “Ah… my sweet loving brother and his ways…”, Lami said with a sarcastic tone, rolling back eyes. We both laughed and headed where the boys were.

“Oi Penguin, do you have a bottle of cold water? I tend to get thirsty when I drive”, Law asked Penguin and looked at me with some sort of look I can only label as… horny?. “Right, bro, let me get you one”, said the cool cap guy and headed to the kitchen. “He gets thirsty?” I said to myself a little confused, but dismissed the thought as my attention went to Lami who was showing me a photo of his brother when he was a little baby.

The happy couple invited us to the lantern festival that was taking place the next night at the historical center of the city. They told us to bring all of our friends too. We were excited about it, so we accepted the invitation and left the house.

During the ride along a road by the sea, Law asked me, “Babe, can you please turn the GPS on?, I don’t really know where I am going…”. I searched for my phone in my pockets, but realized I’ve left it at home. “I didn’t bring my phone… give me yours”, I told him. He grabbed his from the black jeans pocket and gave it to me. “Law, your phone is dead…”, I said, trying to turn it on.

“Yeah, my battery died after calling you twenty times when you left the bar…”, he said, kinda joking. “Oh…”, I gasped, and continued, “Well, let me enter the address on the car sat nav”.

I approached my hand to the little screen when Law stopped my hand and smirked. “It would be a shame if the computer wouldn’t work and we ended up lost…”.

“You clearly had this planned, right?” I said arching a brow. “Me, planning things? that’s not something I usually do…”, he said in a sarcastic way, but with a sexy tone that made me somehow fidget on my seat.

I came closer to his face and almost talking next to his ear I said, “Let’s get lost”. Law licked his lips, placed his right hand over my lap and said “Heh, sure… I can’t resist myself anymore”.

He suddenly turned the wheel and took a little road that took us to the beach. Finally, my lover parked the car, luckily it was a deserted zone, a cliff area, and there weren’t any houses or places nearer.

The beach ahead of us was lightened by an intense moonshine, the sea was choppy so the waves hit hard on the cliffs.

Law threw his seat back and patted his lap, “Strip for me, and come here, baby”. “Ah, so we are fucking on the car, nice…” I thought and began to take my clothes off.

“Don’t take that off, yet. You know that little bandanna you have on your head could help us…”, he said to me after I jumped over his lap. I felt a rock hard bulge under my core, he was already so ablaze for me.

He then untied the cloth that was holding my hair, smirked at me, and said “may I?” while covering my eyes with it.

“Lay you back on the steering wheel, baby girl”, he ordered me. I remember instantly how he likes to dominate me, so I followed his order to a “Yes, sir”.

His fingers ran from my mouth to my neck. He kept lowering them softly caressing my flesh. I could barely feel the touch of his fingers over my skin. He wasn’t talking, and I was unaware of what was coming next, I was blindfolded, but surrendered completely to this man.

All of a sudden I felt a cold sensation over one of my nipples, “Uhg…” I moaned, throwing my head back. Then the chilly stinging feeling moved to my other nipple. God, what is that?... and suddenly remember Law asking Penguin the cold water bottle. “Damn you, Law”, I said to myself but only being able to verbalize moans and grunts.

He began to trail an icy path from my breasts to my lower stomach. My heated skin mixed with the cold water that began to melt over my flesh, felt like a sweet torture.

“Your hot body is making the icy water melt and wet my jeans… or is it perhaps your own arousal for your Master, baby girl?”, he said to me, while running a thumb over my clit.

He then penetrated me with two fingers as he only knew how to, took them off and asked me to open my mouth. “Taste yourself, baby girl”, he commanded me, and I opened my mouth and sucked.

I heard - and felt- how he unzipped his jeans, and slowly took his member out. I could feel how he began to softly hit his manhood over my sex. He was playing with it, but my body couldn’t wait for it to be inside of me.

“Is it getting hot in here, huh?” he said and unbuttoned his black shirt. I knew it because he then grabbed my hands making me caress his skin. My hands wandered along his chest, but my mind was only focusing on how much I wanted to be penetrated by this man.

I was drowning in lust, I needed him to do something, but he didn’t. “Law… Sir… What are you doing?... fuck me, I want you to fuck me…”. He laughed, and violently but gently enough he pinched and twisted one of my erect nipples. A strike of intense pleasure hit my center, and it was so unexpected that I only purred at it.

He then ran his inked fingers through my hair and pulled me closer to his face, this time he wasn’t being gentle, he was being rough… and I loved it. “What do you think you are doing? I am the one who gives you orders in here, are we clear?” he said, whispering with a grunt in my ear.

“Y-yes sir, I- am sorry…”, I said, stuttering. “Good”, he said and kissed me. We made out, hard, feverishly. I could feel over my entrance how his sex became even harder.

He suddenly put his hands on each side of my waist and lifted me up a little bit, so I could place my knees on each side of the seat. He used his right hand to guide his pennis inside of me. It was just the tip of it, he was enjoying how I was probably miming the words “fuck me” repeatedly. After a few seconds of torture, he grabbing me again from my waist, pushed me down against his lap. “Ugh..” I said, opening my mouth, throwing my back to the steering wheel, so hard that I made the car horn sound.

I wanted to be penetrated, and he did it so roughly, yet so pleasantly.

I began to ride him, back, forward, up, down, tracing circles with my pelvis. My left knee hit the emergency brake handle, it hurt but I didn’t care. I placed my hands over his strong abs, letting all of my senses focus on the pleasure, imagining the expression he had on his face when I heard him groan.

Law pulled my hair and threw my neck back, again making me hit my back on the wheel, and used his hips to bang me, hard, burying himself into me. Every thrust made my body react with little spams; I was being sent to heaven.

Law untied the bandanna that was covering my eyes, and said in between the thrusts and an agitated voice, “I want to see your precious face when I make you cum”. My eyes slowly returned to its functions, admiring the sweaty thorax of Law, the way his stomach would go up and down picturing his rapid breathing. His face showed a red glowing, he was more than aroused. I was too, and as I reached for climax, placing my right hand over the steamy glass of the car window, Law did too with a hard “Huh”.

He bathed my insides once again. I remained still enjoying the warming sensation inside of me, trying to erase any worry at the time.

Law placed a hand on my back and pulled me closer to his chest, while lying his neck over the headrest of the yellow Sonata.

I rested my whole tired body over his, enjoying the touch of our warm skins, the scent of his body, with my lips wandering along his neck, leaving soft kisses over its skin.

“We should go back home; they might get a little bit concerned…” I told Law, still over him. “Yeah, you are right, let’s go back…”.

It was 4 am so once we got home and opened the door, we entered stealthily. I walked behind Law when he suddenly stopped, and I fell over him. “What is it, Law?!” I whispered, “I don’t know, this is kind of a slumber party…”, he whispered back at me.

Suddenly all the lights turned on. Everybody was sleeping on bare mattresses on the floor of the living room.

Little by little our friends but Zoro and Sanji woke up.

“Oh my god, finally…” said Nami and everyone began to laugh. They weren’t laughing at us, but at Sanji and Zoro who were sleeping cuddled.

Law looked at them and looked at everybody else and said, “Excuse me, is this something new to you? Oi Mugiwara-ya, tell them every time you three get to sleep at home they do the same”. Luffy nodded, still laughing.

No matter how much noise they made, nor Zoro or Sanji woke up, they seemed to be happily enjoying sleeping like this, so we didn’t want to bother them anymore.

“Let’s go back to sleep, guys. Y/n and Law you can sleep upstairs, we left Law’s bed intact”, said Franky winking at us. “Thank you!!” I said, and we went upstairs jumping through the multiple legs of our friends.

We climbed up the stairs, and went into the boy’s room. I was undressing when suddenly Law offered me a big loose t-shirt. “Don’t get me wrong I love your naked body, but what if the boys enter the room and see you naked?”, he said. “Oh, Law, are you jealous? hahaha”, I mocked him. “Well, let's not discuss jealousy…”, he said frowning.

I grabbed his white loose t-shirt with some kind of black power ranger called “Stealth Black” printed on it and put it on, giggling. I could have sworn he was a geeky nerd, and that was the proof.

Law and I jumped into his bed and muffled up with the bedding. He hugged me, kissing my head. “Thank you for making this the best holiday of my whole life…”, he said. “Thank you for paying the bus ticket that time…”, I whispered with my face pressed up against his chest. We both laughed and soon after fell asleep.

I woke up with the sounds of some birds chirping on the window. Law was still asleep beside me, with his ruffled hair, his cheek pressed against the pillow with his mouth open, snoring softly. I couldn’t help but drool over that image, so handsome even like that, the intimacy, the person I wanted to wake up to each morning.

I placed my head over the tattoos of his chest, following with my index finger the lines of ink on his skin. I remained there for a few minutes hearing his heartbeat, drunk of his skin scent.

Softly he began caressing my cheek, still without opening his eyes. He was probably half asleep yet.

I felt a million butterflies trapped on my stomach, I was so in love, I had fallen for this guy, hard. I felt a little guilty, I mean, how was I supposed to fall in love so quickly with a man?... I guess it was just love at first sight…

Law’s hand stopped moving, and suddenly I heard him mumble something like, “Mmmm- hum - I-I- love you Y/n-ya”. I widened my eyes, “did he just say he loves me? “I was completely surprised and even unsure if that was what he said or if it was just my imagination.

Some minutes later, he opened his eyes, slowly. “Good morning, baby girl”, he said, kissing my forehead. I was immobile, watching his face still trying to process what he had just said. “What is it?, are you sleeping with your eyes open? you are gorgeous but that would be a little creepy”, he said, surprised.

“N-No, uhm, I am awake, yes. Good morning”, I uttered. “Are you ok, Y/n-ya?”, he asked with a confused expression. “Yeah, uhm… Law… Do you sleep talk?”, I inquired him. “Oh… did I? I’m sorry... I do, yes. Sometimes. What did I say?”, he said this time with a worried expression. “Oh, no, nothing, I thought I heard something but I don’t know. It’s nothing”, I said, trying to settle the matter.

We remained cuddling up a little bit more, until we heard movements downstairs. They were probably waking up, so I decided to go to my room and get ready for the day.

“New pajamas”, I thought while taking off Law’s shirt. I folded and put it on my suitcase, I wasn’t willing to give it back to him.

I went ahead and showered. I let the warm water bathe my skin while thinking about Law saying “I love you” while he was asleep. Was he really? Did he really feel that or was it just a dream?... I guess I should wait…

After the bath, which clearly made me more anxious than relaxed, I went downstairs to the kitchen where Sanji was already preparing breakfast. I decided to help him with setting the table while chatting about the lantern festival of that night. Nami, Vivi and Robin joined us and were pleased that Lami and Penguin invited us to such a pretty event.

Our last day in Jeju passed with us visiting the Samseonghyeol Shrine, which is the oldest historic site in Korea. That place is considered as the birthplace of three demigods of the island, founders of the Tanma Kingdom that governed Jeju Island before the Joseon dynasty took over.

At noon we came back from the city and began to get ready for the festival that night. I received a message from Lami, “@TraffLami.06 > hello Sis! How is the day going? Is my brother treating you right?. Listen, we usually wear “hanbok” to the festival. If you want to too, you can rent them from a friend's shop. I send the location. See you tonight! ♥”. I got super excited for it, I loved cultural clothing and I wanted to see Law wearing those clothes too. I told my friends and we all agreed on renting one. Law, being the warm boy he was, wasn't so sure about it, but with a little kiss and a little begging I could convince him.

The night came and we all drove to the historical centre of Jeju. The place was all garnished with paper lanterns, string lights hanging from some bridges, lit inflatable displays, food courts, typical music being played that mixed with the buzz of hundreds of attendants that were enjoying the night.

I was wearing a hanbok in yellow and orange tones, while Law used a green and black one. He looked like a typical groom; I couldn’t help but fantasize a little about us getting married someday.

Luffy of course ran to the food stalls followed by everybody else, Zoro went ahead and attacked the stall where they were offering some kind of soju and Law and I waited for his sister and Penguin to arrive at where we were.

Law was more silent than usual and his face showed concerned. I thought at first about him missing his parents or family, maybe the festival triggered some memories, so I held his hand without saying anything. He squeezed my hand, and began to sweat.

“Are you ok, doc?”, I asked. He looked at me, I could sense he got really nervous and finally mumbled, “Y/n-ya we need to talk…” …

Part 6, FINAL

#trafalgardwaterlaw #trafalgar d law x reader #trafalgar law x y/n #trafalgar law x reader #trafalgar law #trafalgar lami #one piece law #one piece x reader #one piece x y/n #one piece #onepiece #law x reader #law x y/n #one piece zosan #zosan #nami x vivi #monkey d luffy #nami #nico robin #roronoa zoro #vinsmoke sanji #sanji #zoro x sanji #torao

[your-eternal-muse]

All I Wanted (Was You) Pt. 2

Part 1

Summery: Reader finally gets to talk to Spencer about the events of their relationship

Words: 2.5k

Warnings: Swearing, description of an arrest, manipulation, signs of a toxic relationship, JJ slander, slapping,  reader isn’t a good person in anyway shape or form, just you wait

Pairing: Criminal!Reader x Eventual Criminal!Spencer

A/N: Hey....it’s been a second...how y’all been? So this has been burning a hole in my google drive for weeks now, and I’m gonna be honest I’ve just been too damn lazy to post it. I truely started my new job, and guess what? I got covid, so that was real fucking fun. Plus I’ve been dealing with some personal shit that has not been entirely good for my mental health, but do not fret! I am doing much better than these past few weeks and weather its because of the iron supplement I’m remembering to take daily, or the fact that because I had covid, means the chances of me getting it again are slim, and I just don’t have it in me to care anymore is up in the air. And I do care. I wear my mask and social distance, but when it comes to me personally.....I couldn’t give a fuck. Anyway here it is, the long awaited part two. There are already four parts I have planned, so yay! Another series! Enjoy!

I’ve decided. I hate this fucking room.

I’ve also decided that I hate Agent Jareau. Or A.J. Or whoever the fuck she was.

I openly glare at her from across the table, since I can’t actively do the things that I want to do to her.

The man sitting next to her introduced himself as Agent Hotchner.

He’s the one that pulled Mathew back. Or Dr. Reid. Fuck.

“Ms. Y/l/n and I have spoken, and she has agreed to answer any and all of your questions. You have her full cooperation. On one condition.”

The annoyed grimace spreading across Jareau’s face slaps a smirk on my own.

“What’s the condition?”

I speak now, staring at my reflection in the mirror before moving eye contact back to Hotchner.

“I want to speak to Mat- Dr. Reid. Alone, with no surveillance, for a half hour.”

The room runs cold.

“No.”

“I will answer anything you ask. But only after my own questions are answered.”

I lean forward onto my elbows, still smirking. “You gotta give a little, to get a little.”

“We can answer any questions you have.”

“That’s not what I want. This is my one condition. You don’t give me this, you aren’t getting shit from me.” I spit, wishing I could grab her collar and throttle her.

“Listen here you little-”

“Stand down, JJ.” Hotchner has his arm outstretched in front of her, keeping her from jumping across the table.

“Yeah, JJ. Stand down.” I purr, and her jaw sets.

A cell phone rings.

Hotchner picks up, breaking eye contact with me for a second while he quietly asks, “Are you sure?”

Someone answers, and he doesn’t respond before ending the call and turning back to me.

“He’ll do it.”

Is it bad my heart jumped?

“What?” Jareau is staring at the side of Hotchner's face, but he keeps eye contact with me.

“You get a half hour. And if anything happens inside that room-”

“I don’t appreciate you threatening my client when she has just agreed to cooperate. Now, will you please uncuff her so she can go to the designated room?”

His face is a stone, barely showing any sign of his thoughts.

But he reaches into his pocket, and pulls out the keys while moving around the table to where I sit.

They fall from my wrists, and I pull the sleeves of the sweater Sheila gave me down to cover the red skin.

“Follow me.” he says, and I stand, free for the first time since this morning.

Running only crosses my mind for a second before I follow him through the hallways, glaring eyes burning into my back.

He opens the door to another small conference room, allowing me and Sheila to enter.

“We’ll send him in once you’re ready.” he says and without another word, he closes the door.

Sheila turns to me. “Are you sure this is what you want?” She takes my hands in hers.

“Positive.”

“Okay. You get a half hour. Use it wisely.” She lets go of my hands.

“That’s the plan.” I shove them into my pockets.

She nods, before opening the door, and leaving.

My heart pounds in my chest.

I wring my hands.

The door closes.

He stands, staring.

“Hi.”

I swallow, anger rippling through my bones.

I storm forward, and I see him hold out his hands to try and stop me, but he doesn’t put up much of a fight.

My open palm meets the skin of his cheek and fire eats at my fingers.

We’re both quiet for a moment before I reach forward, feeling his chest, his sides, his pockets.

I feel a bulk under his shirt beneath his waistband on his back.

“Are you fucking serious?” I pull up his shirt, grabbing the phone from his hip.

He doesn’t meet my eye as I see it’s on a call. With a certain agent's name flashing across the screen.

I throw it to the ground, stomping into it with my heel until I hear it crack before picking it up and opening the door.

“Y/n please..”

I throw it into the room of agents.

I meet the eyes of the person who made the initial call.

“You’re fucking lucky the deals still on, Jennifer. Or those people's deaths would be on your hands. So thank your lucky stars that I want to prove my innocence because if I didn’t give a fuck, you would have a lot to fucking explain right now.”

I slam the door shut, locking it behind me. 

I stand, heaving, staring at the swirls in the wood of the door.

I wait until my breathing is less erratic to speak.

“You must think I’m fucking stupid.” My voice is oddly calm for the anger burning through my veins.

“I don’t. I’ve never thought that.” He moves to stand a few feet behind me. “It wasn’t supposed to happen like this.”

I turn then, moving into his face.

“How the hell was it supposed to happen!?”

I hear footsteps approach me as I stir the creamer into my coffee. 

Hands are on my waist, and I barely have time to set my spoon down before he’s turning me around, and capturing me in a bone crushing hug.

I laugh nervously, hugging him back. “Good morning to you too.”

He pushes me back a little bit, and his eyes are red rimmed and frantic. 

“Hey,” I cup his face, running my thumb over the apple of his cheek. “Talk to me baby, what’s wrong?”

Different scenarios run through my mind, all of them terrible.

None of them are what he actually says.

“If I asked you to run away with me, would you?”

My thumb stops. “What?”

His eyes dart back up to mine, and the sheer glow of urgency shining in his pupils makes my heart rate pick up.

“I need to tell you something.”

“What’s going on? You’re scaring me.” My hand starts to fall from his face, but his hands come up to grip my wrists.

“I’m so sorry.”

“Sorry for what? Matty, just talk to me. Whatever it is, we can fix it, I can fix this.”

His eyes dart to the clock on the oven behind me, and his breathing picks up. “Shit.”

He licks his lips. “I-”

My front door slams open.

I jump back, hitting my coffee cup on the counter, spilling the contents.

Officers spill in and my stomach drops to my feet.

“Y/n y/l/n?” An officer comes forward, gun lowered, but finger still on the trigger.

I slowly raise my hands. “Yes? What’s going on? Matty, what’s happening?”

His grip on my arm is like steel, but officers come and pry him away from me, twisting my arm behind my back. His eyes dart between me and the people swarming.

“No! Please, this isn’t-, stop!” He’s shouting, looking around at the officers pool into my house.

I am acutely aware of the gun aimed at my chest.

My arms are pulled behind tight behind me, and it’s instinct to fight.

“What are you doing? Let go of me!”

“Y/n y/l/n you are under arrest for-”

I don’t hear the rest. All I hear is Matty’s voice, his fight to remove himself from the officer who was trying to cuff him.

No.

“Let him go! He didn’t do anything!”

He looks annoyed and frightened and tired all at once.

I’m being pulled away from the scene towards my front door.

“No! No Mathew! Don’t touch him!”

My wrists pull against the handcuffs, burning into my skin.

“Stop! My name is Dr. Spencer Reid! I’m an FBI agent with the behavioral analysis unit.”

I stop.

The officer stops.

The world stops.

“My badge is in my back pocket. I’m going to reach for it now.” He reaches back into his pocket and pulls out a leather badge, opening it to show the officers.

One nods, and they back off of him, letting go of his arms.

“What?” It’s broken and barely a whisper.

His eyes meet mine, and tears are freely rolling down my cheeks, and I blink to try and get rid of them, but it doesn’t work.

“You- You’re a-” I can’t breath. “What?”

My chest hurts.

“Y/n-”

I’m out the door.

The world is in slow motion.

Black coats and red and blue lights are everywhere.

I’m in the back of a police car.

He’s in the yard.

Staring.

“It wasn’t even supposed to. I got the call 5 minutes before they came. I didn’t have any time, I couldn’t do anything.”

“You couldn’t do anything?” I look at him in disbelief.

“You could have, I don’t know, not have lied to me?”

“It’s not that simple.”

His cheek is red.

I fight back the urge to reach forward and hold it against my palm.

We didn’t move, and I realize that this was not the best idea.

I move past him, going to stand by the window.

I never realized  how high up we were.

He turns with me, watching me as I go.

“Who are you?”

I hear him shift. “I’m Dr. Spencer Reid. I’m an agent with the Behavioral analysis unit.”

“Doctor? What are you a doctor of?”

A doctor? A friggin doctor?

“I have 3 BA’s and PhDs in mathematics, chemistry and engineering.”

 I can’t help but let my mouth fall open.

I see a small smile twitch on his face. “I also have an eidetic memory and can read 20,000 words per minute.”

I shut my mouth and scoff. “That just proves that I know absolutely nothing about you.”

I start to pace, wanting to scream from the silence.

I go back and forth inside my head, wondering which question I should ask next. So many bubbled inside my head, it made my brain hurt.

“Why did you go undercover?” is what I settle on.

“We wanted proof that you had part in the murders. We couldn’t get that without inside information. I volunteered because from watching you, I know you’d take pity on me. It’d be believable that I didn’t know what I was doing. You wouldn’t feel intimidated by me.”

His hands are on my shoulders now, stopping back in front of the window. 

He’s close enough now that I can feel his body heat against my back.

I hated that he was right.

“You get defensive around women you consider a threat, and you don’t trust men bigger than you. I was a good middle.”

I really wish he would talk louder. It’d make me feel like he didn’t care. The soft tone he was using was sending comforting signals down my spine.

I don’t want to be comfortable.

I want to be angry.

“So it was all for your case then? Everything you told me, everything we did, all those promises was a lie?”

I take a chance, and turn to face him.

I wish I could stop crying.

“Was anything you told me true?”

“Yes!” His hands tighten around my shoulders, startling me. Realization flashes over his eyes and his hands hesitantly remove themselves from me.

He takes a breath. “At first, work was all it was. I was just supposed to observe you, your behavior and report back to my team. But after a few weeks, something changed. You were fragile, and compassionate. When I looked at you, I didn’t see a cold-blooded killer, or a sociopathic dominate. I saw you. I saw the way you cared for people, how you stood up for your clients, and I couldn’t help myself. I feel in love with you.”

His hands are back on me, now resting just above my elbows.

“I love you. Everything I told you about us and what I wanted to do, that’s the truth.”

I wipe my tears away with my fingertips.

“You asked me this morning, before they took me away, if I wanted to run away with you. Do you still mean it, or was that just a ruse?” I worded the question carefully.

“I mean it.”

I sigh, finally looking up into his eyes. “You don’t think I had anything to do with those murders, do you?”

He shakes his head.

I set my jaw. “I want to hear you say it. It’s the least you owe me.”

He swallows. “No. I don’t think you do. I never did.”

My fingers play with the fabric of his shirt. “Spencer suits you.”

He smiles softly. “Thank you.”

“What are you going to tell your team?”

“Nothing. I can’t. And even if I could I wouldn’t want to.”

“Why? I would think you’d want to tell them everything.”

“Usually I do. But they don’t see you like I do. It’s just better if they don’t know. For everyone.”

I can’t help it.

I lean my head against his chest, and let his arms wrap around me.

We stand like that for what seems like years before I feel wetness on my hair.

“I’m sorry. I’m so sorry. This wasn’t supposed to happen.”

I just hold him tighter.

I know that he’s talking about the present situation. But I can’t help but agree for an entirely different reason.

If he hadn’t been the one to come in that day, we wouldn’t be here.

He wouldn’t feel guilty.

I wouldn’t be licking my wounds, going over every conversation we’ve ever had, trying to figure out what’s true and what’s not.

I’d be sitting in a jail cell, wondering where I went wrong, and he’d be helping his team, with no personal connection to me.

I’d be alone.

I hug him tighter, closing my eyes wishing I could be anywhere else with him.

My pocket feels heavy.

There’s a damp spot on his shirt when I pull away.

“I’m bad for you, Spencer.” My voice breaks.

“Is it bad that I don’t care?”

“You should care. I’m not a good person.”

He places his hands on either side of my face, swiping away me tears with his thumbs.

He doesn’t respond.

He just leans down and kisses me.

Kisses me like it’s the last time he’s able to.

Which may very well be the case.

There’s a knock on the door and he breaks, still keeping his hands on my face.

Another knock.

He drops his hands, sighing, before walking over to the door.

His hand hesitates over the knob.

Another knock.

He unlocks it, and opens it. 

Agent Hotchner stands there, stone faced and slightly angry.

Spencer keeps eye contact with me, until Hotchner speaks.

“Reid.”

He looks down, and then turns and walks away.

Sheila walks in after they leave, closing the door once more behind her.

“How did it go?”

I shove my hands into my pockets. “I just want this to be over.”

She walks over, pulling me into a hug I don’t reciprocate. 

“It’s about to be.”

I remove my hand from my pocket, and set the recorder on the table.

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#spencer reid #spencer reid x reader #spencer reid angst #spencer reid fluff #spencer reid series #spencer reid x criminal!reader #criminal!Spencer reid #criminal au #mob au #criminal minds #criminal minds series #All I Wanted (Was You)

[snarksandkisses]

What I think about COVID-19 this morning - Malia Jones, PhD, MPH

What I think about COVID-19 this morning

March 5, 2020

 Maybe I'm the closest thing you personally know to an infectious disease epidemiologist. Maybe not--I'm not an expert on this virus by any stretch, but I have general knowledge and training from studying epidemics that is applicable, so here are my thoughts. 

 First and foremost: we are going to see a tremendous increase in the number of US cases of COVID-19 in the next week. This is not because of some new pattern in the spread of the disease, but rather due to a major change in the requirements to be tested. Until yesterday, if you had flulike illness but had not recently traveled to China, Italy, South Korea, or Iran, you could not be tested. This is just the way healthcare works, you get tested if you meet the case definition and the case definition included travel.

 As of yesterday, you can be tested if you are sick and have a doctor's order to be tested. So expect things to feel a lot more panicky all of a sudden. We will see hundreds or thousands of new cases as a result of testing increases.

 Second: is that panic legitimate? Sort of. This is not the zombie apocalypse. The death rate of 30 deaths per 1000 cases is probably a wild overestimate. (The denominator is almost certainly wrong because it is confirmed cases--and we only confirm cases when we test for them). That said, even at 3 per 1000 cases, this would be a big deal. A very big deal. By way of comparison, the death rate for influenza is between 1 and 2 in 1000 cases. So, yeah. Roughly 0x to 30x worse than a huge global flu pandemic? That's a problem.

 Unlike flu, COVID-19 is not *particularly* dangerous for children, so that’s some happy news. It is dangerous for older adults and those with lung conditions, so we need to be extra careful to protect those populations from exposure. 

Also, for millions of Americans, getting any serious illness requiring a hospitalization is a major problem because they can't pay for it. And our health care system is probably going to struggle to keep up with it all. And with China basically closed, our global economy is going to take a huge hit and we'll feel the shockwaves for years. Those are real concerns.

 What can we do? Our focus should be on *slowing down the spread* of this disease so that we have time to get caught up. Here is my advice:

 1. Wash. Your. Hands. Wash them so much.

The current best guess is that coronavirus is transmitted via close contact and surface contamination. A very small study came out yesterday suggesting that the virus causing COVID-19 is *mostly* transmitted via contact with contaminated surfaces.

I have started washing my hands each time I enter a new building and after being in shared spaces (classrooms especially), in addition to the standard practice of washing after using the bathroom and before eating. Soap and water. Hand sanitizer also kills this virus, as does rubbing alcohol (the main ingredient in hand sanitizer).

 There is no need to be obsessive about this. Just wash your hands. A little bit more effort here goes a long way. 

 2. Don’t pick your nose. Or put your fingers in your mouth, on your lips, or in your eyes. Surface contact works like this: you touch something dirty. Maybe it's an elevator button. Virus sticks to your hands. Then you rub your eye. Then you touch your sandwich, and put the sandwich in your mouth. Now there is virus in your eyes and mouth. See?

 You may be thinking, but I don’t pick my nose because I am an adult! An observational study found that people sitting at a desk working touched their eyes, nose, or lips between 3 and 50 times per hour. Perfectly normal grown-ups, not lowlifes like my friends.

 2a. There was one note that came out suggesting that face masks actually promote surface contamination because you're always adjusting them--i.e., touching your face. I don’t know if that’s true. But face masks should not be worn by the public right now, unless you are the person who is sick and you're on your way to or actually at the doctor's office. The mask’s function is to prevent spit from flying out of your mouth and landing on things when you cough or sneeze. It flies out of your mouth and is caught in the mask instead. If you are the person who is sick and not on the way to the doctor, go home. Let the people who really need them have the masks. Like doctors.

 [ETA on 3/6/2020 honestly people I am getting so much push back on the mask recommendation!! The world is running low on masks. If everyone wants a mask so they can feel ok about keeping their Daytona Beach Spring Break plans and then hospitals in India can't buy them anymore, shame on us.]

 Coronavirus does not appear to be airborne in the sense that doesn't remain floating around freely in the air for a long time, like measles does. You are probably not going to breathe it in, unless someone is coughing in front of you. If someone is coughing in your face, feel free to tell them to get their ass home and move 6 feet away from them. (Yeah I know, if you have a toddler, you're screwed.)

 3. Sanitize the objects you and lots of other people touch, especially people outside your family--like door handles, shared keyboards at schools (brrr), salad bar tongs, etc. Best guesses are that the virus can live on surfaces for 2-48 hours, maybe even longer, depending on the surface, temperature, and humidity.

 Many common household cleaning products will kill this virus. However, white vinegar solution does not. You can make your own inexpensive antimicrobial spray by mixing 1 part household bleach to 99 parts cold tap water. Spray this on surfaces and leave for 10-30 minutes. Note: this is bleach. It will ruin your sofa.

 4. "Social distancing." You're going to get so sick of this phrase. This means keeping people apart from one another (preferably 6 feet apart, and sanitizing shared objects). This public health strategy is our next line of defense, and its implementation is what will lead to flights and events cancelled, borders closed, and schools closed.

 For now, you could limit face-to-face meetings, especially large ones. Zoom is an excellent videoconferencing option. If you spend time in shared spaces, see #1. Ask your child's school about their hygiene plan, if they haven't already told you what it is. If I were in charge of a school setting, I'd be hand sanitizing the s*** out of the kids' hands, including in and out of each space, and taking temperatures at the door. I am planning to email our school nurse right after this to ask if they need my volunteer help cleaning surfaces.

 If you can telecommute, do that a little more. If you are someone's boss and they could do their job remotely, encourage them to do that. 

 Avoid large gatherings of people if at all possible, especially if they are in an area with cases OR places that lots of people travel to. If you attend group events and start to feel even a little bit sick within 2 to 14 days, you need to self isolate immediately. Like for a tiny tickle in your throat.

 5. All your travel plans are about to get screwed up. If you are considering booking flights right now, get refundable tickets. ETA: most trip insurance will not cover cancellations due to a pandemic. Look for "cancel for any reason" trip insurance. 

 Considerations for risks related to that trip you’re planning: how bad would it be if you got stuck where you are going for 3 to 6 weeks? How bad would it be to be isolated at home for 2-3 weeks upon your return? Do you have direct contact with people who are over 70 and/or have lung conditions? If those seem really bad to you, rethink your trip, especially if it is to a location where there are confirmed cases. 

 6. If you are sick, stay home. Please! For the love of all that is holy. Stay at home. Your contributions to the world are really just not that important.

 7. There is a good chance some communities will see school cancelled and asked to limit non-essential movement. If someone in your family gets sick your family will almost certainly be isolated for 2-3 weeks (asked to stay at home). You could start stocking up with essentials for that scenario, but don't run out and buy a years' worth of toilet paper. Again, not the apocalypse. 2 weeks' worth of essential items. Refill any prescriptions, check your supply of coffee, kitty litter, and jigsaw puzzles.

 8. I do want to remind everyone that when public health works, the result is the least newsworthy thing ever: nothing happens. If this all fizzles out and you start feeling like ‘Wah, all that fuss for nothing??’ Then send a thank-you note to your local department of public health for a job well done. Fingers crossed for that outcome.

 9. Look, I think there are some positives here. All this handwashing could stop flu season in its tracks! We have an opportunity to reduce our global carbon footprint by telecommuting more, flying less, and understanding where our stuff comes from. We can use this to think about the problems with our healthcare system. We can use this to reflect on our positions of privilege and implicit biases. We can start greeting each other using jazz hands. I'm genuinely excited about those opportunities.

 There is a lot we don't yet know about this virus. It didn't even exist 90 days ago. So stay tuned, it is an evolving situation. The WHO website has a decent FAQ. Free to email or text with questions, and you can forward this to others if you think it's useful.

 May the force be with you. 

 Malia Jones, PhD, MPH

[email protected]

 I’m an Assistant Scientist in Health Geography at the Applied Population Laboratory at the University of Wisconsin-Madison. I study social contact of humans, and spatial patterns of infectious disease, among other things. 

   P.S. The number one question I am getting is, did you really write this? Yes. I wrote this. 

 I didn't write it for professional purposes, so I didn't put my work email on it. It was really just meant to be an email to my friends and family in advance of what I expect to be an escalation in the panic level. But it was apparently welcome information and went viral on FB. I've decided not to edit out the swears, even though I wrote this with a much smaller audience in mind. 

 Thanks for checking your facts! Go science! 

#COVID-19 #coronavirus #wash your hands #Social distancing #don't panic #but maybe just a little panic

[jazzytriestowrite]

Date night | Takami Keigo (Hawks) X Reader

Fandom; My hero academia

Pairing: Takami Keigo (Hawks) X GN Reader

Synopsis: Late nights and long mornings, quarantine has made it hard for y/n to see anyone, more or less their boyfriend hawks. Feeling bad for leaving his s/o alone in their empty home, hawks plans a date night for the both of them to relax and enjoy the little time they have together. 

Warnings: A bit of angst at the start, but after that bone rotting fluff. 

Word Count: 4,778

A/N: This lovely fic is apart of quarantine fluff collab that the discord server crackhead sanctuary put together. Thank you Sof @myherowritings​ who hosted this, and I can't wait to read everyones fics!! Also this lovely banner was made by @sanurrwrites​ and I'm very thankful!!! 

♡~♡~♡~♡~♡~♡~♡~♡~♡

It hit us unexpectedly.

The drastic change in how we did everything was overwhelming, and many of us didn’t really think it would be such a big deal at first. It was a silly virus that would be cured within weeks, nothing to really worry about. So everyone continued about their normal lives, happy that the virus wasn’t in their country, happy it wasn’t them. It simply wasn’t our problem right?

Wrong.

Everything flipped and turned upside down when the unknown and mysterious virus finally hit Japan. While earlier we thought it wasn’t our problem, what are we supposed to say now that it's at our front door? Affecting our neighbors, our friends, our students and our heroes who protect society. No one really cares until it's your problem.

The first death the virus caused made everyone realize just how serious this was. This wasn’t some joke, people's lives were actually in danger and things needed to be done to protect the citizens from a virus that was on a killing spree.

That meant no more social gatherings.

Someone might ask- Well that doesn’t sound too bad? What's wrong with not having to see people?

It was a problem to you, and many others.

Laying in bed day after day, letting the loneliness set in and the worry skyrocket about the current situation. You had taken the simple act of seeing someone in person for granted, and realized just how texting and calling wasn’t the same. You missed going out with friends and doing random things that made you happy. You missed going to the ice cream parlor down the street that would sell you ice cream and soothe all your sad and depressive feelings. What you missed the most was your boyfriend.

The sudden thought of him already made your eyes water and your heart clench. ‘’I miss you Keigo’’ You whispered to the darkness, pulling your warm blanket closer to your body for comfort. The bed that was made for two, suddenly felt way bigger than it needed to be without your boyfriend. ‘’I’m just being selfish, he’s keeping us protected’’

Keigo or Hawks as most society knows him, had been quite busy since the virus broke out in Japan. You’d think villains themselves would stay inside once they heard a virus could kill them, but it was quite the opposite. With no one outside to stop them from their wrongdoings, it was easier for them to commit their daily crimes. So that meant heroes never really got the break they thought they’d get.

While they risked their life everyday to protect citizens, the risk factor was now doubled because of the virus. Heros would continue to go out and protect homes, stores and people who needed it, not letting the virus keep them from doing their job.

It made you happy to know that your boyfriend was doing his job, and probably saving many lives with his patrols. It just hurt that you couldn’t really see him anymore. He was gone before you woke up, and back away after you’ve closed your eyes. You had tried multiple times to keep yourself awake, but never seemed to make it.

You missed his laughter, the way he grinned after getting on your nerves and the stupidly cute smile that would make your heart flutter. You missed his bear hugs and his butterfly kisses all over your face. You missed everything about him down to his annoying antics and crazy eating habits. You had taken it all for granted and now all you had was yourself and the little notes he would leave behind.

‘’I love you Keigo, goodnight baby, stay safe’’ You whispered to the darkness, hoping your words would get to him. Closing your eyes, you snuggled into your body pillow and fell asleep within minutes.

♡~♡~♡~♡~♡~♡~♡~♡~♡~

A couple hours later, the front door of your home creaked open. A blonde male entered quietly, or what he thought was quiet. His posture was slouched, and the eye bags under his eyes gave a clear giveaway that he was tired. ‘’Shit’’ He glanced at the clock and saw it was around 3 am, meaning you had fallen asleep some time ago. His red wings felt heavier than usual, and the thought of sleeping by the front door so he wouldn’t have to climb the stars to the bedroom, was seeming like a good idea.

Keigo shook that idea out of his head, if anything, he wanted to see you, even if you were already sleeping. He felt filthy, so maybe a shower before he got into bed. Even though he was sprayed with every cleaning spray known to man before coming back to your shared apartment, he still took extra precaution when coming home to you. Constantly checking his temperature, and wearing a mask and goggles to keep you protected. You were his little dole, he’d never get over the regret if he passed a virus on to you.

Slugging upstairs, he yelled in fright when he felt himself falling forward towards the steps. At first he didn’t even fight it, trying to save himself from marks on his face from steps seemed like too much work. However, his wings spread out as much as they could, leaving the males face hovering over the steps he was just about to kiss. ‘’Oh’’ He mumbled, the simple thought to use his wings had flown out of his head. God he was so tired. Standing back up, he carefully treaded up the stairs, trying to be more quiet now that he was getting closer to the bedroom.

Opening the bedroom door as quiet as he could, his yellow eyes found your body first. Walking closer he stared down at your sleeping form, a small smile appearing under his mask. ‘’Hi baby, I’m home’’ he said softly, before he frowned. He noticed the tear lines on your face and his heart suddenly felt heavy. Just the thought of you crying without him here to comfort you was truly heartbreaking. You weren’t the only one who missed their partner, since he was surely feeling the same loneliness as you.

He teared his eyes off of you finally, walking away and into your shared bathroom. Shutting the door behind him, he turned on the light and let gaze find the mirror. His rough appearance made him cringe. His golden blonde hair was matted down poking in every direction, eye bags were prominent and his gorgeous smile was covered by this stupid white mask. Reaching up, he ripped the mask off his face, cringing at the red lines he saw of having to wear it so often.  All of this sucked. Yet if it meant keeping you and others safe, he would wear this mask for eternity.

About an hour later, he’d showered and dressed in the clothes he’d be sleeping in. All today's grime and cleaning products washed off his skin leaving it spotless. As he stood in front of the mirror, brushing his teeth half heartedly, the thought of you crying earlier was still fresh in his mind. While you wouldn’t tell him you were lonely and wanted more, he knew better. He had been with you for some years now, he knew you inside out. He knew that whilst he had it hard, you were equally suffering.

Within the first two weeks of Covid 19, your student Bakugou Katsuki had caught the virus and was hospitalized due to it. You had cried for 4 days straight, and nothing he said made you feel any better. Being a U.A teacher meant you had worried even more for your students, who were still kids and had places to go.

Keigo felt terrible that he was putting extra stress on you since he still had to do his duties, and that everything wasn’t easy on you just because you were home and hopefully safe.

‘’I’ll make it up, we’ll both have some fun soon’’ He said to himself in the mirror, before spitting out the nasty toothpaste and rinsing his mouth out with some cold water. Finally finishing up, he turned the bathroom light off and trudged towards the bed. Climbing in lazily, he wiggled under the comforter you were hogging to yourself. As his head hit the pillow, he had to keep himself from falling asleep on the spot. The soft fluffy pillow almost sent him to heaven. Scooting closer to you, he wrapped his arms around your body and pulled you closer to him, his head resting in the crook of your neck. Your hair didn’t even bother him, if anything the smell of your shampoo calmed him.

‘’I love you y/n, goodnight dove, I’m home and safe’’ Keigo whispered to you before finally letting his eyes slip close, knowing in a few hours he’d be gone again. Yet getting to hold you before he went to sleep always made his mornings and days easier.

♡~♡~♡~♡~♡~♡~♡~♡~♡~

Sometime before the sun came up, you had felt the bed move, and the warm arms that were keeping you secure left again. You wouldn’t lie, the disappointment you felt hit harder than anything. And when you heard the bedroom lightly shut behind Keigo, you simply wrapped your arms around yourself, hoping to mimic the arms of your lover. Yet his arms and presence were unique, so of course you couldn’t replace his embrace.

You don’t remember falling back asleep, so it confused you when you suddenly felt the bright rays of sun on your face. ‘’Oh, Good morning I guess’’ You mumbled as you sat up, trying to rub the sleepiness out of your eyes.  Shielding your eyes from the sunlight with your right hand, you looked around for the one thing that always made your morning.

‘’There it is!’’ You say happily as you roll out of bed and towards the dresser that was next to the bathroom. On Top of the wooden dresser was a handwritten note covered in chicken stickers, and a red rose next to it. Grinning you grabbed both items and jumped back into bed, excited to see what the dumb bird had wrote for today.

Ever since the pandemic started, and since Keigo had been having long shifts, he’d always left letters for you to read in the morning, and a different coloured rose everyday. It made him leaving easier, and the fact that he spent time writing and putting his feelings into them always sparked joy.

Carefully opening the note, you were met with Keigo’s chicken scratch handwriting. You loved him, but one day you were going to give him writing lessons. You shook your head in amusement, ignoring the bad handwriting, you began reading.

‘Good Morning Chickadee,

I hope you had a good sleep baby, I came home late again but as soon as I had the chance you were in my arms. You cuddled up to me instantly, what if I was some intruder? I guess even in your sleep you recognize me and my godliness.  

Anyways, I apologize for once more coming home late beautiful. Work has been a bit stressful, but I believe we’ve put a dent on the villains plans. Only small time villains are really causing trouble, and were handling it pretty well. I think sooner or later we won’t need so much patrolling anymore. Hopefully soon, I wanna spend time with my lil nugget.

Oh! I have some news.

Someway or another, I will get off early today and spend some very much needed time between the two of us.

Not to be too sappy in this letter, but, I really miss you y/n. Way more than words can describe. It’s lonely patrolling instead of being home with you and having fun, and honestly just the thought of coming home to you at night is the only way I’m getting through my days at work.

I miss you and the weird laughter you let out at my god awful jokes, I miss you and the way your eyes sparkle when you look at something you like, I miss you and the way you love me unconditionally even when i’m being a weird asshole.

I love you y/n, and I’ll see you tonight dove.

-The best boyfriend ever

ps. You mumbled my name in your sleep.. Having some good dreams huh ;)’

‘’I hate him so much’’ You say while grinning and holding the note towards your chest, your heart beating like crazy. It was weird he still had this affect on you despite dating for a few years, but you hoped this feeling never went away. Neatly folding the note back to how it was, you crawled to the edge of the bed and pulled out a container that was hidden under the bed. Popping the lid off, you placed the note from today alongside the other notes you’ve received over the weeks.

‘’I love you Keigo’’ You whisper lovingly before closing the box once more, sliding the box back under your bed. Picking up the rose you abandoned, you smiled at it. The red rose was beautiful, and it seemed your lover had taken the time to cut the thorns off it.

Shaking your head with a smile, you stood up and walked out the bedroom, your feet padding against the cold ground. ‘’God it’s freezing” You mumble out loud shivering physically, before heading into the kitchen. Opening the window above the sink, you see a cast of 7 different colored roses from this week alone. ‘’Here's your new home’’ You say softly to the red rose before placing it in the vase next to the others.

Leaning against the sink, your gaze wandered to the window or more specifically what's outside the window. The beautiful flowers that were blooming outside made your mood feel lighter, and hearing the kids laughter who was next door made your heart clench in joy.

You couldn’t wait to start a family with the love of your life.

Now that you were up, you would start your daily routine of going with the flow and seeing where the day would take you. Hoping that Keigo would keep his promise in the note and come home early so you could shower him with much needed affection

♡~♡~♡~♡~♡~♡~♡~♡~♡~

Sighing, you turned off the tv with the remote, eyes getting tired of staring at the same screen for hours. Looking over at the clock, you read it was currently 8pm. While your boyfriend said he’d be home tonight, it was starting to get late and you were questioning if he’d actually show.

Not that it’s his fault or anything, you knew his job could get stressful. Yet that wouldn’t stop the disappointment that started to set in, which was a very valid feeling.

Standing up you begin to head towards the bathroom, planning to simply take a bath before getting comfy in your bed and reading, a hobby you picked up after quarantine.

‘’HONEY I’M HOME’’

A voice shouts after forcefully kicking down the door, startling you and making you flinch. None other then Takami fucking Keigo was standing at the door, wings tucked neatly behind his back, huge grin on his face and two grocery bags in both hands.

‘’Keigo, you scared me’’ You say with an angry look before everything set in. ‘’Wait.. Keigo..’’ The light bulb in your head turned on and before your brain could process it anymore, you were flying across the room and jumping into your lovers arm.

Keigo let out a grunt at the sudden attack, but smiled at your innocent gesture. He placed the bags down and wrapped his arms around your body, spinning you around as he bear hugged you. ‘’I’ve missed you too’’ He says, kissing the top of your head. ‘’I told you’d I’d be home tonight, I hope you didn’t lose hope’’ He says as he grins down at your sheepish expression.

‘’No worries though’’ He comments before picking back up the backs he previously dropped. ‘’So, I have a whole plan in mind for tonight, which I am very excited for’’ He says before kicking the door shut and walking into the kitchen. He places the bags on the counter, ‘’So just sit back and relax and I’ll make this a date night you’ll never forget.’’

You tilt your head in curiosity, now wanting to know what this bird brain had planned, but you couldn’t help but get excited along with him. It had been a while since the two of you properly hung out with each other. ‘’So Mister ‘’I have everything planned out already’ what's on the agenda right now?

‘’Well Chickadee, we are gonna make dinner together’’ Keigo says with a bright smile, but cringe when he see’s your deadpanned expression. ‘’Don’t look at me like that dove, I promise it isn’t what you think it is’’

You saw through his desperate attempt to lie. ‘’Kiego did you plan on making chicken again’’ You say while staring him down, and when you see his head hang in shame you laugh. Stepping closer to the male you lift his head back up and press a quick kiss against his lips. ‘’It’s okay, I don’t mind having chicken for the seventh time in the row. Your cooking is actually pretty good’ You comment before stepping away, tying up your hair so you could help as well.

‘’WOO!’’ Keigo winked as he gave you finger guns, ‘’Chicken never gets old babe, thought you knew this’’ When you responded by throwing said bag of chicken at him he screeched before catching it and laughing.

You pull out your phone and play your favourite playlist, so the two of you could bop while cooking. ‘’Oh we can make cookies as dessert! It’s the one thing I can actually bake’’ You say sheepishly, sticking out your tongue when your lover nods in agreement.

With that, the two of you jammed quietly as you began the preparation of dinner.

While you were pouring the cups of flour into the big mixing bowl, you suddenly got the idea to terrorize the male who was singing quietly behind you. Scooping some in your hands, you turn around and innocently call out his name. You wait until the perfect moment. Which is when he turns around fast, a small smile on his face as he quirks his brow. He immediately see’s what you're about to do, but it's too late anyways.

You blow the white powder in your hand right at him, watching as he closes his eyes and screams. ‘’Y/N!! IT'S ON NOW’’

And while you thought this was a good idea at first, when you saw Keigo open his eyes and reveal the determination within them, you mentally cursed. And from there started the flour war, with the two of you giggling while throwing flour at each other.

It ended when you were running to throw some flour at him, but ended up instead eating shit and busting your ass on the wooden floor. Keigo, who was concerned, couldn’t help but start laughing as he helped you off, dusting the flour out of your hair. ‘’Oh gosh, we’ve made a mess of the kitchen’’

Looking around he was right, everywhere you looked there was flour, and now the two of you regretted ever touching the damn powder.

♡~♡~♡~♡~♡~♡~♡~♡~♡~

After some cleaning, and a mini dance session to a couple of songs, the food was finally ready and the two of you sat at the table eating together.

‘’Yeah there was this big spider and I was so scared, I yelled for you and then realized I’d have to get rid of it myself’’ You spoke between bites, your eyes lighting up as you continued telling the story of how a huge spider made its way inside your home.

Kiego just stared at you silently, his mind not even processing your words anymore. You were so cute when you started to ramble, he honestly missed the way you would get so into your stories. Sometimes he didn’t think you were real, you were too perfect. But he was glad you were his, because at the end of the day, he was wholeheartedly yours and he was glad you shared the sentiment.

You two continued to chat as you ate, nothing too important just random chatter to fill the silence. The two of you had so much to tell each other that you didn’t even know much time had passed. Two hours had passed by in the blink of the eye, and you didn’t notice until you glanced at the clock behind you. ‘’Wow it’s getting late’’ You comment, putting the dry dish where it was supposed to go, stepping away from the sink.

Keigo nods, ‘’Time sure does pass when you’re having fun’’ He says with a soft smile, before taking your hand in his, ‘’Come on, I have one more activity I wanna do before sleeping’’ He said as he picked up the last bag that was still sitting on the counter.

You nod, trying to get a peek inside the bag only to be met with him pulling it closer to his body. Letting out a pout, you followed as he pulled you upstairs, nearly sliping as your socks slid across the wooden stairs. ‘’Jeez, the stairs are trying to kill me’’ You complain, glad when the two of you reach the bedroom.

Kiego then whips around, ‘’You should go clean up, you know to get the flour out of your hair’’ He says nervously, and while you wanted to ask why he suddenly started acting weird, a voice inside your head told you just to listen. You simply nodded and gave him a grin, ‘’Okay I will, better not run away while I do’’ You say before going inside the bathroom, shutting the door behind you.

Keigo lets out a deep breath, his eyes drifting to the bag in his hand. ‘’Don’t fail me now’’ he whispered  to himself as encouragement.

♡~♡~♡~♡~♡~♡~♡~♡~♡~

Finally done with washing your hair, and getting the flour out of random places you stared at the door in front of you. It was obvious he was doing something out there since you heard his hard footsteps running all around the place. Yet you wanted to give him all the time he needed, and the fact that he was trying to surprise you was cute.

Suddenly, you hear music start to play, making your brows furrow. It sounded like that one song..

‘’Dove you can come out now,,’’ You heard the slight panic in his voice, which made you nervous too. Pushing those feelings aside, you open the door and slowly peak out.

‘What would I do without your smart mouth?

Drawing me in, and you kicking me out

You've got my head spinning, no kidding, I can't pin you down

What's going on in that beautiful mind

I'm on your magical mystery ride

And I'm so dizzy, don't know what hit me, but I'll be alright’

You stand in shock as the lyrics start to reach your ears, which was the song the two of you danced to when he first confessed his love to you. The next thing that almost brought you to tears was the sight in front of you.

Standing in the dim moonlight, your lover was standing proud and tall in the balcony, a nervous smile on his face. Leading up to him were red and pink rose petals, some thrown on the bed as well.

‘’Keigo’’ You whisper as you start walking in his direction, not even caring that the petals stuck to your feet as you walked.

‘My head's under water

But I'm breathing fine

You're crazy and I'm out of my mind’

You finally reach your lover, who in fact still has some flour in his hair. Yet that didn’t matter, because all you could see was his beautiful face, the way his blonde locks flowed in the wind, and how his golden eyes sparkled with an emotion you knew all too well.

Love.

‘’Hi my love, I wanted to end the night really special’’ Keigo whispers as his hands find their way to your waist, pulling you in as your arms wrapped around his neck.

’Cause all of me

Loves all of you

Love your curves and all your edges

All your perfect imperfections

Give your all to me

I'll give my all to you’

The two of you start to sway to the song, your eyes staring into his honey coloured ones. You were caught in a trance, a trance you didn’t really mind at all.

You loved this man more than anything and anyone you knew. Even when he was being a weirdo or saying unfunny jokes, you always found him entertaining. You loved him and all his imperfections. Arguments never tend to last long between you guys as of the unconditional love you had for one another.

As the song started to come to an end, you laid your head on his shoulder, embracing this moment and engraving it in your mind. Tonight was simply perfect, and while the two of you didn’t do much, you still had a blast with your boyfriend.

’I give you all of me

And you give me all of you, oh oh’

You pulled your head off his shoulder when he started to sing the final lines of the song, a genuine smile on his face. ‘’Kei-’’ As the song turns off, he suddenly lets go of your waist and bends down onto one knee, his hand reaching inside his pocket.

‘’ Ah, so here I go’’ The male says as a blush covering  his face and running up to his ears. You stand there shocked, your hands coming up to cover your mouth.

‘’Quarantine has been pretty rough haha, but it has taught me a lesson. The world is a scary place, and when this virus pops out of nowhere, I’ve noticed that anything can happen. It’s scary to think that villains aren’t are only problems, but some killer disease could sweep over and take away our happy lives’’

Keigo takes a deep breath, before putting on a nervous smile.

‘’These last few days that I’ve been apart from you made me realize that I never, NEVER, want to be away from you again. I realized that I want to spend all my time that I have left here with you. Y/N, I love you so much’’ He laughs, ‘’I’ve been nothing but happy with you, and you bring out the best in me, and without you I wouldn’t have found myself. I never thought I’d find love, If anything, I just thought I was made to be a hero and nothing more. But I’ve figured out that I can be a hero and also love you.’’

‘’You are my pride and joy, my dove, my chickadee, my beautiful lover...What I’m trying to say is, I love your last name, But I’d prefer if you’d take mine’’

You giggle at his words, tears slipping down your face. You were speechless, and honestly couldn’t even compel yourself to say anything.

‘’Y/N L/N, will you make me the happiest bird every and marry me?’’

You can’t help the shit eating grin on your face as you stare down at your lover, your best friend and the best thing that has ever happened to you. ‘’Keigo’’ You say as more tears fall down your face, your voice shaking as your brain processes everything that just happened. ‘’Yes duh! Who would say no to you’’ You yell, your bottom lip trembling as he stands up and slips the gorgeous diamond ring onto your finger, kissing the ring after he placed it.

‘’I love you’’ The two of you whisper at the same time, both of you gazing into each other's eyes. The both of you were crying, and it made it more special to see him showing so much emotion.

Keigo leaned in slowly, ‘’I’ve loved you for many years Y/N, and I’ll continue to love you until my dying days’’ He says softly before pressing his lips against yours, one hand holding your cheek and the other bringing your waist closer to him.

And with that, moonlight shined on the newly engaged couple, who still had their whole life ahead of them.

#kiego takami #Bnha writing blog #bnha fluff #hawks x reader #fluff

[thelukesalvez]

Luke Alvez x Reader: Thanksgiving Dinner

Description: You invite Luke home for Thanksgiving dinner. 

Word count: 2.5k

Warnings: none

A/N: sorry i suck at updating! but here’s a fluffy thanksgiving fic.  i hate this holiday, but love luke so enjoy!!! (obviously this fic is pre Covid times, so keep ur distance and stay at home y’all)

“It’s just dinner, Luke! And my family really wants to meet you. Please?” You beg again, sitting up again to look into Luke’s eyes pleadingly. The two of you were cuddled up in Luke’s apartment watching a rerun of a show you’d already seen.  You had one of his throw blankets wrapped around you, but still shivered.  Luke always kept his apartment freezing.  Something to do with the fact that he was literally a human furnace.   

“Thanksgiving dinner is supposed to be a family thing,” Luke sighs. “I don’t want to impose.  Why can’t we just do dinner any other day?” He asks. You frown at him, and furrow your eyebrows, your signature sign of annoyance. 

You had only been dating Luke for about six months now, but Luke can read you like an open book.  He knows all of your little expressions and mannerisms.

“Because,” you groaned, like that’s the only explanation you need to give. Luke raises his eyebrows, so you continue.

“Because that’s the only time my whole family will be there and I want you to meet all of them,” you huffed, falling back against Luke’s headboard, a few inches between the two of you now. “I don’t understand why you won’t just come.” 

“Baby,” Luke chuckles, reaching over and pulling you back into his side, like you had been sitting just a moment ago. 

When your frown doesn’t go away, Luke sighs. “Okay.”

“Okay?” you ask. 

“Okay, I’ll do Thanksgiving.”

You smile smugly, and lean back into Luke’s side. “Thank you,” you murmured.  Luke gives your side a slight squeeze.

“You're lucky I like you so much,” Luke chuckles. 

...

Luke straightens his shirt in the mirror one more time, making sure his hair is intact and his shirt wasn’t too wrinkly. He really, really wants your family to like him, and if he doesn’t look perfect or say exactly the right thing, he knows he’ll blow it.

He’s gone with a dark blue button down, one of your favorites. He picked out his best pair of pants and even trimmed his beard so that it looked clean and presentable.

There’s a knock on the door as soon as he’s finished tucking his shirt into his pants, and he lets out a long breath before he goes to answer it. He checks his teeth in the mirror beside the coat closet before he opens the door, finding you waiting for him in the hallway.

You both just kind of stare at each other for a long moment.

You have on a white sweater and dark pants.  Your hair sits perfectly on top of your head in a big bun.

Luke breaks the silence first, reaching out to pull you into his chest.  He kisses you softly. “You look great,” he murmurs against your lips.

“So do you,” you whispered. “We’re gonna be late if we don’t get going now. Are you ready?” you asked, reaching for Luke’s hand when he nods. Luke allows you to lead him down the hall and to the elevator, and then out to his car.

The two of you pull up to your parents house an hour later, you’re quick to undo your seatbelt and climb out of the car. There are already several other cars in the driveway, and Luke tries to guess who might already be here as you walk him up to the front door.

There’s a wreath already hung on the door as you ring the doorbell. Luke squeezes your hand tight, making you turn around and look up at him in amusement.

“Are you nervous?” you ask, smirking.

Luke shrugs, “A little bit,” he says.

“They’re going to love you,” you assure him and then the door swings open. 

You whirl around, grinning at the little girl in the doorway. Luke recognizes her as one of your cousins from the countless pictures he’s been shown, but he isn’t sure which one she is.

“Hey bug,” you say excitedly, and the little girl jumps excitedly. She runs the few steps it takes to close the distance and jumps into your arms, hugging you tightly around your neck. Luke’s heart melts as he watches you twirl around the porch with her a bit, before putting her down and letting her run back inside. 

“That was Kate,” you tell him before taking his hand in yours.  Luke nods, already storing the information in his long term memory. 

You lead Luke inside, just in time to hear Kate announce to the whole house that you and your “cute boyfriend” were there.  Luke smiles at that and you look up at him with the widest crinkly-eyed grin, leading him around the corner to the kitchen.  

Luke was not prepared for the crowd of people gathered as soon as they turned the corner. 

There’s a male that looks just like you sitting on a stool at the bar, with a double version of himself sitting next to him.  Luke immediately recognizes them as your twin brothers.  He knew their names, but couldn't for the life of him, tell who was who.  Kate has found two other young kids, around the same age as her, and all three of them are clawing at the dress of a woman who Luke presumes is their mother.  

There’s an older woman stirring something in a pot on the stove, and another, younger woman sipping from a wine glass and holding a baby. In the attached living room three men sit on the couch, a football game on the flatscreen TV. 

Luke is a bit overwhelmed by the chaos of it all, but when you squeeze his hand a little bit tighter, he feels like he can breathe again.  You quietly start pointing out who is who before actually bringing him around the room.

He learns that your twin brothers were named Caleb and Elliot.  He also learns that Caleb has his hair parted down the middle of his head, whereas Elliot’s was just combed back.  

He learns that the woman stirring the pot on the stove was your mother, and the woman getting mauled by all the young kids was your Aunt Christine, and that her three kids were named Kate, Emily, and James. The woman nursing her glass of wine was your older sister, Caroline, and that the baby she was cradling was your three month old nephew.  Her husband was one of the three men sitting on the couch.  The other two being your uncle Mark and your grandfather.

“The one in the war?” 

You nod. 

Christine is the one that makes the obligatory new-comer to the family joke about there being a test later on who is who, and when your mother has finally put the turkey in the oven, she turns around to get a good look at Luke.

“So,” she begins, wiping her hands on a tea towel and untying her apron. “You’re the famous Luke that my baby talks endlessly about every time she calls home.” You throw her a look, one that clearly means stop- but Luke just laughs softly and squeezes your hand again.

“Yeah, that’s me,” Luke grins. 

“So Luke,” your sister pipes up. “What do you do?”

Luke hesitates.  His job was slightly unconventional, so he always just assumed you would have told them about it.  

“I work for the Bureau,” he states nonchalantly, but he notices the hush that falls over the room. 

“The FBI?” your sister asks. 

Luke bites his lip and nods. 

“Is that like the police?” one of the little kids asks. 

Luke nods, smiling, “Yeah, I work for the Behavioral Analysis Unit.”

There’s a blank silence- Luke interprets it as no one knows what the hell that meant. 

He clarifies.  

“I study criminal behavior to assist in investigations.”

The whole kitchen remains quiet. Luke feels his stomach drop, as he suddenly starts wondering if he said something wrong.  He notices you flinch, digging nails into the back of his hand until someone breaks the silence.

“Y/N,” says your grandfather from the couch, and everyone turns to look at him. “Is that boy a cop?”

“He’s not a cop,” you say. “He’s FBI.  There’s a difference.”

Luke turns to look at you, lips parted in surprise. Clearly he was missing something here, as the tension grew thicker. 

“You’re dating a cop?” He asks, standing right in front of the two of you now. 

Luke lets go of your hand and wipes it hastily on his pants. 

“He’s not a cop, he’s-”

“He’s a cop,” your grandfather sighs, he doesn’t seem mad, more disappointed. “After what your family has been through, I figured you’d know better.”

Luke looks between you and your grandfather uncomfortably before taking a step back towards the entryway of the kitchen. 

“I- uh-” Luke stammers.  “I didn’t mean to offend anyone-”

“You didn’t,” your mother pipes in finally.  “Dad- that’s enough.”

“Okay,” he says, putting his hands up in defense.  But the malice was still there.

Luke takes another step back.  “Maybe I should go- I don’t mean to impose.” He takes another few steps before turning around altogether. 

He hears you scoff harshly.  “Nice going.”

You chase after him, grabbing Luke’s hand and pull him straight out the front door. Luke stands off to the side of the yard, pinching harshly at his own nose.

You reach for Luke with an apologetic look on your face. Luke opens his mouth before you can, though, spitting out the words that are probably on everyone else’s mind right now.

“I should leave,” he says, taking a step back when you reach for him again. “They hate me. I knew I shouldn’t have come in the first place. I’ll call an Uber home, you can take the car.” he mutters, turning away and reaching into his pocket for his phone.

“Luke,” you argue, pulling his arm down. Luke groans, refusing to meet your gaze. 

“You’re not leaving,” you say. “They don’t hate you, not at all. They haven’t even gotten to know you yet, and they’re absolutely not going to hate you because of your job, of all things. My Grandfather is just a little crazy, but he’ll get over it, I swear,” you assure him.

“Why didn’t you tell them I was in the FBI in the first place, if you talk about me to your mom so much? Kind of a defining feature, I would think,” he grumbles, stepping back and crossing his arms over his chest. 

“Uh, it didn’t come up?” you offer. Luke rolls his eyes.

“Did it have to?” He asks, voice dripping with annoyance.

You finally sigh, rolling your eyes and running your hand through your hair. “Alright, my dad was a cop. Right here in Baltimore.  He died when I was thirteen. Shot in the line of duty. So we had to grow up without him. I didn’t tell them you were a cop because I knew that if I did my mom would wanna talk about my dad, and I didn’t want to talk about my dad.”

There’s a long, heavy silence before you sigh.  

“I’m sorry, I should’ve told her,” you admit, shoulders slumping slightly. “I didn’t think any of them would react like this. I guess it’s still a little raw.”

Luke takes a deep breath and lets it out slowly, letting that all sink in. He can see why your family might be a little cautious. Because all that hurt that your family had to deal with must have really been awful.

“You never told me that.  I’m sorry that happened,” he says softly, reaching out to squeeze your hand. You look up at him hopefully, trying to lace your fingers together. 

“I promise, after like five minutes of getting to know you, they’re going to love you, just like I did, I promise.”

Your eyes widen at your sudden admission.  You look to Luke to see if he noticed your slip up.  His grin says it all.

“Love me, huh?” he asks slyly.  

You try to brush it off, but Luke’s not having it.  

He takes a step forward in the grass and gently touches your chin, he tilts it up so that you’re looking at him.  “I love you, too.” He says before pressing his soft lips to yours. 

When he pulls away, you bite back your smile.  “So you’ll try?” You ask. 

Luke nods his head and lets you tug him back inside the house.

“Luke,” your mother says softly and Luke freezes, looking up at her like a deer in the headlights. He can only imagine that she’s about to kindly ask him to leave.  “Oh, you poor thing, how rude you must think we are,” she says instead.  

Luke shakes his head.  “No ma’am,” he insists.  

“I’m not sure if Y/N has told you about her father, but he was a cop.  Sixteen years,” she stares off as if remembering him.  “He passed away in the line of duty. It was terrible- the kids having to grow up without their father.  And terrible for me to raise them without my husband.  I never wanted that for my kids.”

Luke’s chest tightens again. 

“But I’m so sorry about what my father said to you, and I want you to know that you are always welcome inside this house, because you obviously make my daughter very happy, and that makes me very happy,” she says, giving you a smile that looks so much like yours that it eases him just the same.

He releases the breath he was holding and lets himself smile, nodding quickly. “Thank you,” he says, giving your mother his most genuine smile.

“See? Told you she’d love you,” you say smugly.  

Luke chuckles softly.

During dinner, Luke works his charm and is able to wiggle his way into every family member's heart.  You marvel in awe as he’s able to carry on a conversation about football with your grandfather and uncle.  Luke knows a surprising amount about the Ravens- even though he’s a Patriots fan. After dinner, when they all gather in the living room to watch the game, Luke turns out to be as loud and passionate about football as the rest of the men, even with Kate seated on his thigh, because for some reason she will not let him put her down.

After dessert is over you and Luke finally start to say your goodbyes to everyone with promises to visit soon. 

By the time you get back to Luke’s apartment, you’re both too full and sleepy from the turkey to do much more than cuddle for a while.

“I told you my family would adore you,” you sigh.  “Even my grandfather warmed up to you by the end of the night. Everyone loves you. But I love you the most,” you say, clearly already drifting off to sleep.

Luke smiles to himself and presses a long kiss to the top of your head.

“I love you too,” he whispers softly, before letting himself drift off to sleep as well.

#luke alvez imagine #luke alvez fic #luke alvez x reader #luke alvez x reader imagine #luke alvez x reader fic #criminal minds fic #criminal minds imagine #criminal minds x reader imagine

[barnesandrogersfanfics]

Ocean Eyes - Part 9

A/N: Finally another chapter is done! 😂

Please like/share/comment, It makes me write more when i know you’re all enjoying it 💕💕

Chris opened up the back door and Dodger jumped out making a run for the house while i unstrapped Mason from his car seat. When i turned Lisa was already walking towards us with a huge smile on her face, Scott walking beside her.

"Hey Ma" Chris called out greeting his mom with a quick wave.

"Hey baby" she smiled coming to a stop in front of us "Y/N.....its so good to see you sweetheart!" She pulled me into a hug and squeezed me tight, i couldnt help but smile and return her hug.

"Hey Lisa, its good to see you too"

"Okay okay, enough! Where's my hug?" Scott asked pouting at me, i laughed and gave him a quick hug.

"Oh my god, you must be Mason" i heard Lisa say "he's a spitting image of you Chris.... i mean wow"

"Mason say hi, this is your Nana Lisa"

"Hi" he said quietly clinging to my leg.

"Oh you're gonna act all shy now bud? You were so excited to meet Nana Lisa before" i stroked his hair smiling down at him "Give him 5 minutes he'll soon be talking your ear off"

"Its fine hun, come on inside i've made some lunch for us all" Lisa said happily and turned to head inside.

"Mace, baby you're gonna have to let go of my leg"

"Come on pal lets go eat" Chris picked Mason up putting him up on his shoulders causing Mason to laugh loudly.

"Oh god be careful...."

"He does this with my sisters kids don't worry he's a pro" Scott laughed throwing an arm around my shoulders and leading me towards the house.

After lunch i was left with Lisa, we were laughing as we watched Chris, Scott and Mason running around playing some kind of ball game, Scott and Mason were apparently ganging up on Chris.

"I haven't seen him this happy in so long" Lisa suddenly said with a huge smile on her face.

"You haven't?"

"Nope, he's not been the same since you left. He puts on this front of being happy but i know its bullshit"

"He's the one who left" i mumbled quietly.

"Oh i know sweetie, he told me everything, i just mean he's been different since he's not had you in his life".

"When you say everything....."

"I know about the vegas wedding" she smiled "and how you're still married"

"Not for long, i signed the papers again..."

"Are you sure that was the right thing to do?"

"I thought it was done years ago" i shrugged "besides he asked me to sign them because things are getting serious with Lindsey"

"Ugh" Lisa mumbled under her breath but i caught it.

"Not a fan of Lindsey's then?" I chuckled.

"No, not at all! That girl gets on my last nerve"

Mason suddenly run over to us but his attention was on Lisa.

"Nana can i have a drink please?"

"Of course sweetheart" Lisa offered her hand to Mason and he happily accepted following her inside.

"Y/N your kid has worn me out!" Scott said dramatically collapsing on the grass beside me.

"You getting too old Scotty?" i laughed

"Definitely!"

"He'll crash out soon don't you worry"

"Oh thank god" Scott laughed "i might crash first just a word of warning"

"Come on Uncle Scott!" Mason called loudly running back out and diving on Scott.

"You okay?" Chris asked me quietly, i nodded yes with a smile.

Lisa came back out holding up a bottle of wine and a couple of glasses.

"Oh god, my mom's trying to get you drunk" Chris shook his head and laughed.

"I am not! A few glasses of wine with lunch is fine. Besides, you're the one driving not Y/N"

"She's got a point there" i smiled up at Chris wiggling my eyebrows.

"Fine, you ladies have fun" he rolled his eyes looking amused.

"Dad come on!" Mason called from across the yard.

"Okay i'm coming pal" he called back with a smile, every time Mason called him dad he'd light up.... it was the cutest thing i had to admit. Chris's cell phone started ringing and he pulled it out checking who it was, he sighed before answering it and walking away for some privacy. His phone had been ringing all afternoon but he hadn't taken any of the calls until now.

"Lindsey...." i heard him say as he answered the call, i couldn't hear any more than that though. I took a mouthful of my wine trying to act as if i didn't hear who had called Chris, that it didn't effect me.

"You wanna know something?" Lisa suddenly said making me raise my eyebrows at her.

"Sure"

"You and Mason are all that boy of mine talks about, i've not heard him even mention Lindsey"

"I don't know what to do with that information Lisa...."

"Just keep it in mind" she smiled lovingly "its so nice having you back sweetheart, i've missed you"

"I missed you too".

"So tell me, any guys on the scene?"

I laughed and shook my head.

"Honestly? No, well not really"

"So there is someone?"

"No, there's a guy i meet who has asked me out a couple times but...."

"You not interested?"

"If i had met him before Chris showed up  again, i would have accepted in a heart beat. He's so sweet and hot! But its not fair to start something with him while i'm trying to navigate things with Chris and Mason.... i just don't have the time"

"You know it might be what you need..."

"You think i should accept a date with him?"

"I do, Y/N you deserve it"

"Maybe i'll go on one date.... see how it goes" i shrugged "i haven't been on a date in years, i'm so bad at dating"

"You'll do fine sweetie, text him"

"I'll think about it" i chuckled shaking my head, maybe Lisa had a point though....

Mason was asleep the minute we started the drive back to Chris's, he had done well staying awake as long as he had.

Chris carried him in from the car and put him to bed while i made tea and fed Dodger.

I was sat reading a news report on my phone when Chris came back and sat on the opposite end of the sofa.

"These COVID reports are scary, have you read the latest? They're talking about a lockdown...."

"What?? Are you serious?" He asked raising his eyebrows.

"Yeah look" i passed him my phone to read it for himself.

"Wow this is crazy....."

"Do you think it will happen?"

"I wouldn't be surprised if it did" he shook his head as he continued to read "If it does, i think you and Mason should stay here"

"What...."

"Yeah, i mean... i think it would be best. I can help out with Mason and id know you were both safe"

"Oh... okay" i nodded, i guess it made sense....Besides, Chris wouldn't want to be apart from Mason.

"You'd be okay with that?" He asked me looking a little nervous

"Yeah sure, it makes sense" i shrugged.

"Cool, then thats settled. If this lockdown happens you guys will stay here with me"

"If it happens yeah" i nodded giving him a quick smile. Chris suddenly cleared his throat passing me my phone back.

"You've got a message" he said before getting up and storming off into the kitchen. When i looked at the screen there was a message from Derek.

Derek: Hey, i was so happy to hear from you.

I would still like to take you on that date.

When’s a good time for you?

Oh shit.... Chris just had to see that!

But why did he react like that?? He was with Lindsey! And why did i feel so guilty about it??

Everything taglist: @jesseswartzwelder @dumblani @barnesandrogersworld @patzammit @rynabarnesrogers-reading @rainbowkisses31 @rororo06 @supernaturalwintersoldier @fairlightswiftly @hiddelstannerbarnes

Ocean eyes: @supraveng @michelehansel @melissaglenn5 @denisemarieangelina

@mrsjeffwittek @mery-be @marvelfansworld @cmalass @capstopavenger @fallenoutofrose @kelbabyblue @biebsmylife95 @loser-alert @traceyaudette @w3lissax @jennmurawski13 @ford66steal @saiyanprincessswanie @christocrave

@jakiki94 @torntaltos @buchanansebba

Taglist is open

#chris evans #chris evans x reader #reader insert #ocean eyes

[xxew-pineapplezxx]

hi! could you write about got7 mark and y/n. y/n losing conciousness and passing out in mark's arm due to an injury. real angsty but happy ending with fluff

Okay!!! So, first I want to apologize if this sucks! I don’t know why this was so freaking hard to write! I really do hope you enjoy this and let me know if there is anything else you would like for me to write!! Thank you so much for requesting!!! I will have to write another one of these. Covid has my brain freaking out!

Mark x Y/n

Summary: Something happens that is a life or death threatening situation.

Warning: Angst and fluff. There will also be cursing and some other stuff that  can’t think of at the moment!

WC: 2.5k

You sit across from Mark, face just as serious as him while you try and think of something to say. You two had been at it for the last two days and it didn't seem to be getting any better. At this point, where were you guys even angry at each other? No one knew and with you both being stubborn you were still going to play the angry game until the next person gave in.

“So what's it going to be?" You asked him, brow raised.

Mark groaned and leaned forward, elbows finding a home on the table. “What do you think? I own Boardwalk which means you owe me money!”

“Mark, not only was that like three days ago, I didn’t land on your property!”

Yes, you guys have been at it over a damn game of monopoly. You would think it would be something that's more important, but since you guys didn’t really have anything to fight over, monopoly seemed like the best thing to fight over at the moment.

“Why don’t you just pay me?”

“Because I’ve paid you for shit you didn’t even own! I even paid you for my own damn property!”

The room filled with laughter as his head flew back. What got him was how serious you were being. "That's why you need to pay attention, babe!” He said, standing up and removing his sweatshirt. “Got me feeling hot and shit over your foolishness.”

You glared at him grabbing your money and counting up to what you owe him. He sat down as you tossed the money over to his side with a pout. This only made him chuckle.

He counted what you gave, a smile on his face. “You’re short by $300, love!”

“Oh yeah! Well you're just short!”

Mark nodded” Touché” He said, placing his money in order. He then stood up once again. “Let’s get something to eat okay? It’s getting late and I have some important stuff to do tomorrow”

“You just want me to leave so you can cheat some more.”

“Or maybe I have a meeting in the morning?” He cocked his head to the side, again letting out a laugh. You were just on a roll tonight with your mood.

You nodded your head and stood up to clean up. “I think we should just call a quits for this game. Clearly you won.” 

Mark put the stuff in his hands down and walked around to you. He shook his head making you look at him. “I don’t need this game to show that I won. I see that every time i see you.”

He leaned in to kiss you and you pushed him back. “Get that corny ass mess out of here!” He pulled you back to him, this time locking his hands behind your back. “Mark”

“Kiss me and I’ll let you go,” You made a face and so did he before leaning in and kissing your lips. You wrapped your arms around his neck enjoying the kiss before it was interrupted by him blowing into your mouth as he inflated his cheeks with air. You tried to push him away again and this time he kept you close only making you laugh.

“Mark let me go!” You yelled, sure his neighbors could hear you guys all night. This didn’t stop you guys from having fun of course. 

He unwrapped himself, a bright smile on his face. “Only because I’m hungry.”

“I’ll race you to the car?” You said with a smirk.

“Winner has to buy the other person's food, their choice on where to eat too.”

“Alright, bet!” He agreed, “ but just wait okay? I need to get something.”

You nodded grabbing your things and heading for the door. There was part of you that wanted to listen to him. But what's the fun in that, right? You quickly put your shoes on as you heard Mark say something you didn’t really recollect. All you could think about was winning. 

With a wide smile on your face you snuck out the flat, closing the door softly. It was freezing outside and you let go of a shiver before heading to the stairs. You didn’t realize the floor was wet, the main reason being there was no sign on the ground like usual. You went to run down the stairs, giggling to yourself before you found yourself falling down the concrete stairs.

And all you remember is seeing Mark at the top of the stair calling your name as you begin to drift off.

~~~

“Y/n, don’t cheat! I swear if you leave out I’m going to beat you up!” Mark joked grabbing something special he had for you. He walked back out into the living room to find you gone. He rolled his eyes but knew he could catch up to you because he ran faster than you. He quickly grabbed his keys and wallet and headed out the house, locking the door behind himself. He pushed the elevator button but forgot it didn’t work currently. When he was walking to the stairs he noticed the ice that painted the concrete and also noticed some of your things. He chuckled to himself and grabbed your phone and the ring that you had stolen from him. He turned to walk down the stairs but stopped dead in his tracks when he saw you laying there on the ground.

“Y/n get up,” He said walking down the stairs. “Did you see all of this ice up here, there has to be a leak somewhere.” He kept walking and didn’t even notice the blood that coated some of the stairs. "I’m going to call maintenance so we can get a sign up because someone can fall and hurt themselves.”

When he got to the end of the stairs he looked down at you, a smile on his face. He slightly kicked you and thought he heard you laugh. “I swear your acting is getting better and better by the second. Get up, I'm hungry.”

You still didn’t respond and this made him lean down, now concerned. “Babe, get the fuck up!” He turned you over and found you laying in a small puddle of blood. He looked all over to see where it was coming from but couldn't find it. This only more made him feel like this was a joke.

“Y/n…”He shook you then checked your pulse. “ Baby…Someone help me!” He screamed at the top of his lungs holding you close. He was trying so hard to keep it together but slowly he was losing it.

You felt cold to him. And as you all set there, your skin became more and more pale and it scared him.

“Baby please hold on, I’m going to get you help, okay?” He stood, lifting you up with him and rushing you to his car. Reluctantly, he laid you down as he unlocked the car to place you in. He could feel his heart beating through his ears as he rushed to get you in the car. There was this feeling in him that this wasn’t going to end well. But he tried to block those thoughts out.

He pulled out of his parking space, and sped down the street. He knew he was going to end up in trouble, but he was willing to risk it all to get you to the hospital. He glanced at himself in the mirror and never remembered touching his face, but there was blood. He couldn’t help but to start crying. If he would’ve just gone out with you, you would be okay right now. He would have warned you about the ice on the ground. He could’ve helped you out sooner. 

He reached over and grabbed your hand. “ I’m so sorry i didn’t leave out with you…” You not responding broke his heart even more. 

After a few minutes, he pulled into the front of the hospital and jumped out the car, not even taking the keys out the ignition. He ran around to your side and opened the door gently grabbing you and pulling you out. He quickly ran into the hospital holding you close.

“Someone help me please!” He yelled, catching everyone's attention. It seemed that time stopped while all eyes were on him. “Please someone fucking help me!”

The workers around began to grab things trying to help him out. They started to spit out different codes as Mark placed you on a gurney. They wheeled you back but stopped Mark from following you.

“Sir, I wish you could go but until we find out exactly what's going on you will have to stay out here.” a nurse said, slightly pushing him back. 

Though he didn’t want to, he nodded his head and moved to the wall that was right outside of the door. He sat down on the ground throwing his hands over his face and he began to cry. How could a night that was going so well end up with you guys in the hospital and you being unresponsive. The last thing he wanted was for the love of his life to leave him.

~~~~

“Excuse me sir?” A nurse said, making Mark wake up. He hadn’t even noticed that he had fallen asleep on the floor. The emotional drain he felt much had knocked him out. “ Are you here with Y/L/N?”

Mark quickly stood nodding his head. “ Is everything alright? Is she dead? Please tell me she’s okay!?” The tears came to his face again as he pleaded for positive news. The last thing he or his bandmates needed was for there to be a grieving Mark. He might just leave the group if anything happened.

“Please just follow me sir,” Was all the nurse said before turning and walking towards the elevators. She closed the doors and they headed up towards the third floor. He didn’t have anything else to say. He was trying to mentally prepare himself for whatever fate he met.

The nurse led him to a room and stopped right there. “She’s right in here sir.” She said then walked away.

Mark watched her then slowly peeked around the frame. The last thing he wanted to do was quickly walk into a room to find your lifeless body. But thinking that maybe you wouldn’t be on the third floor if you were dead!

“Y/n?” He said softly as he inched closer to you. You  weren’t hooked up to any life support so that was either a good thing or a bad thing. “Babe, are you okay?”

He went to reach for you but you looked at him before he could. You both looked each other in the eyes trying to read each other before you opened your mouth and said.

“Who the fuck are you?”

Mark stood there, his heart breaking more. You didn’t even remember him and that hurt like fuck. 

“It’s me babe, Mark” He reached towards you again and you pulled back.

“I don’t know any Mark’s, sorry. I think you have the wrong room.”

He shook his head. “ No, I have the right room. You just don’t remember me is all.”

“I’m sorry sir but I’m single. I don’t know who you are and I want you to get out of my room now!”

Mark stood there, tears coming to his face again as he tried to figure out what the hell he needed to do. This was hurting him way more than anything. The more and more he stood here with you looking at him as if he was trying to hurt you the more his heart broke.

“Are you sure you don’t remember anything?” He asked, his voice weak from tiredness. You shook your head and he couldn’t hold back anymore. He sat in the chair near the exit and began to cry once again. 

You watched him and it broke you. “Mark.” You slowly stepped out of the bed and walked over to him. He didn’t respond though, his shoulders just shook as he sobbed.

“Babe, I was joking!” You tried to make him look at you but he was already too far gone. “Mark…”You wrapped your arms around him sitting on his lap.

He shook his head, wiping his face.” You don’t understand how scared I was. What if you had died? What if you didn't remember me? What would i do?”

You tried to make him look at you again and this time he complied. “ Listen, if any of that stuff happened you move on, okay? But it didn’t and I remember you perfectly fine. All i got out of this is a headache and some strong meds for it. I should've watched my step, but there is nothing we can do about that now.”

“Yes there is,” He countered, nodding his head.

“And what is that?”

“We move to a house that way there are no stairs and I will make sure no water spills. And that also gives me a chance to be able to watch you and make sure you don’t get hurt” You looked at him as if he was crazy. He was just offering for you guys to move in together. When did he ever think about this?

“Are you serious?” You asked, brow raised as you looked at him slightly confused.” I mean that a big commitment Mark,”

“And I’m willing to do that. I love you too much to ever let you out of my site. It pains me when you leave to go back home and even when I'm busy. I never get to see you the way that I want too,” He wrapped his arms around you pulling you closer carefully so as not to hurt you. “ But, if you move into the house with me, we can see each other all the time and actually be there for each other like we should be anyways.”

You looked at him, a million and one things running through your head as you tried to come up with the pros and cons of living together. Yes, you would be able to be with him way more than you had been. And yes, you wouldn’t have to worry about living by yourself anymore and creepers asking you shit when you come out of your apartment. But you would have to deal with your parent’s feeling as if they failed because you decided to move in with someone who you weren’t yet married to… Was it all worth it?

“Yes it is,” you said thinking out loud

“What?” Mark asked with a raised brow.

You chuckled and shook your head. “I mean, yes I’ll move in with you. I would love to live with you.”

Mark smiled wide before hugging you. “ I promise, you will never get hurt again if I have anything to do with it.” You pulled away from him and without a thought crashed your lips onto his own, kissing him passionately. 

You pulled away and smiled wide. “I’m so happy that you want to do this,”

“Why?”

You looked him in the eyes letting out a slight nervous chuckle. “ Because I’ve already talked to someone about getting a house and I’ve gone to see a few places!”

“Y/n!”

#marktuan #got7 #sadstories #mark got7 #got7 reactions #got 7 stories #got7 aghase #aghase #stories #angst #got 7 angst #love #crying #sadness #heartbreak

[adultingautistic]

(sept 4) what do you do when something tastes wrong? I have a cup about my spIn & I've only been drinking from it for months but today I was drinking water & it tasted wrong for some reason. The cup was smelling like what I tasted so it wasn't the water. I tried to wash it again twice but nothing changed. I don't know if maybe my mom changed the dish soap without me noticing (I'm staying with her for quarantine), but if so I can't do anything about it. But now I'm upset because I need that cup..

what do you do when something tastes wrong? Spit it out, clean my mouth immediately with something like a drink or even brush my teeth, and then throw away the offensive food.

I have a cup about my spIn & I've only been drinking from it for months but today I was drinking water & it tasted wrong for some reason. Oh you meant an object XD see my reaction to “wrong taste” is that visceral

I don't know if maybe my mom changed the dish soap without me noticing

I hate hate hate hate haaaaaaaaaaaaate product changes, DO NOT CHANGE MY PRODUCTS, this is not fair, it’s not right, and it’s extremely upsetting that allistics DO NOT understand HOW AWFUL it is for them to do this to us.

I have also have products that were changed themselves, like I bought the soap I always bought for years and years and then one day it smells wrong, and I check the packaging and it says “Improved new scent” and I litrally cried, for hours, becuase how could someone do that to me?  I was so betrayed, and then I had to go through the horrible experience of trying out new soaps until I found another one that I could live with.  It was horrible.

Here’s how you fix your cup.

1) Talk to your mom and find out if she changed the soap.  If she DID, ask her if she will please change back to the old soap, and never do this to you again.  If she doesn’t understand or refuses, fine.  Move to step 2.

2) Soak the cup in extremely hot water.  EXTREMELY hot.  The hottest the sink goes.  Materials, especially plastic, expand when they are made hot, which releases the things they are holding within them (such as the previous soap smell).  Please don’t scald yourself.  Put the cup in the sink, then fill it with the hot water, don’t touch the hot water yourself.  If you also want to cleanse the outside of the cup, put it in a pot and fill that with the hot water.  Let it sit for a minute or two until the cup is as hot as the water.

3) Change the sink temperature to water that’s hot, but not going to hurt you.  As hot as you can stand it without hurting yourself, and then scrub the cup with a scrubbing sponge with either the RIGHT(old) soap, or with NO soap.  Use a new sponge if you have to.  

4) Rinse the cup with COLD water.  This will cause the material to contract again, sealing in any smells.  

5) Smell the cup.  The gross smell WILL be reduced.  It may even be totally gone.  If it’s NOT totally gone, repeat soaking in the hot water.

I do this myself with ALL the cups I use.  Because of Covid, I’m not able to get my normal dishwasher detergent.  The one I currently have has some gross lemon smell that I can’t stand.  So I’m hand-soaking the cups I use in the hot water to get the smell off before I use them.  This method really works.

It’s also possible that your cup is starting to smell because it’s not getting fully cleaned in the edges at the bottom.  A good hot soak and hand scrub will also help with this.

I hope you’re able to get the smell out.  This is a SERIOUS issue, I completely understand how important it is, and I really, really hope you’re able to get your cup back.

If it turns out that it’s not a new soap, but that the cup is old, it may be time to retire it and buy a new one.  You can still keep you special cup, maybe turn it into a pencil holder or put it on a shelf, but if you can’t get it clean, don’t make yourself suffer by using it.

#actuallyautistic #actually autistic #samecup #eating #drinking #special items #product changes #products #personal products #ask

[kileyrose-2003]

Dan Torrance x Fem! Reader Part 3

A/N: Hi lovelies! Here comes another one of my extremely angsty psychological dive into Rose and Crow’s relationship. Lol. Very, very emotional write for me. Some of you might be wondering after you read this on just how exactly and I will simply say one thing: The relationship between Rose and Crow is very explicitly written and there while as in the film it is implied. In this AU I wanted there to be a reason why Rose and Crow seem more distant, hence why I am taking my own spin to them like this.

Anyways, I love you guys! I know there are a lot of people on Tumblr right now as well as myself dealing with the affects of COVID-19 in our every day lives. If you ever need anyone to talk to, my DM’s are always open. I might not be a therapist but I am willing to help :) I hope you all have a wonderful day and stay safe, lovelies!

Link to intro is here , pt. 1, and Pt. 2

Enjoy!

Warnings: Trigger warning for mentioned/implied child abuse, child death, baseball boy scene, blood, gore

“..Don’t talk to me. Don’t look at me and especially don’t fucking touch me.”

“Crow-”

“No, Rosie! This is your fault. Not her fault, it’s yours. You hurt her! You hurt our baby!” In a rare display of emotion, hot tears were streaming down Crow’s face.

Rose chose her words very carefully before speaking. “..She is not our baby. We did not birth her into this world. She never belonged to us in the first place. And, no. I don’t hate her. I am not jealous of her either and I am not entirely to blame for all this. While maybe your way of thinking on this not being her fault may be correct, you are part of the reason to blame.” Her tone was calm and diligent like a mother trying to keep a tantrum prone toddler calm. “I told you from the start, that I didn’t think it was a good idea for her to be here. In general, our way of life is not fit for any child.”

“I-”

“Don’t talk! Just listen. You however insisted at keeping her here when I told you it wasn’t fair to her to live like this. Once she seen what we did, I did not want her to live like this. Had we of just-”

“Rose, I wasn’t just going to send her back to where she came from! Because-”

“Because you grew attached to her! When I told you not to get to fond of her too quick because it was supposed to be a trial thing. We don’t give affection to rubes, Crow. It’s a rule of thumb. That’s what we gave to her though. Not just you, but me too and I will admit with that I was wrong but yet you fail to recognize the reason I brought her into this in the first place was to make you happy and whether you think it’s right or wrong to do what I did to make you happy: I don’t care. To knock some sense into her was the only option. That was the only way she was going along with the whole thing though. So I did what I had to do, even if I didn’t like it. None of that would of happened though had you just let her go.”

Crow sat there on the ground, staring at the falling leaves around him while he processed every word that Rose said to him. “Comments?”

He had none. Yet. His head felt like a over boiling tea pot waiting to just spill over and burn the person closest to him. In that case, Rose. It wouldn’t be the first time he killed one of his lovers. His rage was infrequent but when it came out, it was a force to be reckon with like a blazing fire. It was what he related to most. It was the only thing that had passion that burned and grew as quick as he did until he met Rose. Rose burned as bright, if not brighter than he did. Crow wanted to kill Rose right then and there and she felt it. They all felt it.

Rose was quick to step away despite of her certainty he wouldn’t kill her. Yet something gave her the maybe, just maybe, he would one day. She’d make sure to keep that under control though and keep her dragon tamed.

Just like it wouldn’t be the first he killed a love, it wasn’t the first time he was a father either. Though that time was as far from him as the setting sun was near his finger tips, the memories though old and a little wishy washy, were engraved into his mind. The smell of smallpoxs immediately entering his nostrils at the thought of it. Just like he hadn’t forgotten the name and face of his own child, he was sure he wasn’t going to forget yours either. Or the way it made him the feel the last time he got to speak to you.

You felt stuck and he was stuck too. Except unlike the first child he lost, you didn’t feel scared to leave him. You felt almost relieved. Like you could breath now while the other felt like they were drowning in fear and pain. It was in that moment he realized you were scared of him. You were afraid he’d hurt you at one point

‘No, I wouldn’t hurt her,’ He told himself over and over. He would of never intentionally tried to make you scared of him or put you in a position where you felt uncomfortable. You adored him and he loved you just as much, if not more, than you loved him. You were his baby, even if it meant he had to kill to have you.

Finally he had his comment and the words came out full of fury and rage. “..Bullshit. You all fucking lie!”

…

He wouldn’t touch Rose for months let alone look at her until she forced him too and even then, that was a battle. He wasn’t the same after that. He became more cynical, more distant. Almost an empty shell of the person he was.

Any out spoken nature he had and was replaced by soft spoken snarkiness. There was no more The Irish Rose and her Crow. Only the remnants of a broken past and flings that occurred in the event of their primal feedings. Nothing more and nothing less.

While the stars shined down on you and Danny brightly as you were yet again acting out your passions in the privacy of your own home, Crow Daddy stood in the darkness of the abandoned ethanol plant in Bankerton, Iowa as he sharpened the blade of his knife. The only lights shining on him were the glares of The True Knot’s RV’S nearly blinding him.

He felt soft hands rub up and down the bare skin of his upper arm and a head press against his shoulder. Rose. “I’m excited. It’s been months since we’ve done our thing, you know?” She nipped the cartilage on his ear and fought the urge to push her away. “Sure,” He grunted.

Rose furrowed her brows. “Aren’t we testy tonight?” Crow fought the urge to laugh in her face. “When am I not lately?” She bit her lips. “You’re really going to do this. Right now?”

“It’s not like what’s been between us is exactly a secret to anyone in the family, Rosie.” She pulled away from him slightly repulsed and stretched her arms. “I’m ready.” The reply was snappy and quick and Barry was quick to obey.

'The boy is going to be the one to suffer for that reply but who am I care?’ Crow thought to himself as he looked at the bite mark the Baseball Boy left on his hand. 'The little bastard deserves it.’

“No! No! Please don’t! No..” The first couple of times he had to bare witness and participate in the unholy act after you left, he could hardly take. There was a slight lapse of faith and for a while he thought maybe he just didn’t deserve to have children. Now was different though. He felt numb.

After being in constant agony for over 20 years his sympathy began to decrease and soon he felt nothing for anyone. As Rose knelt down to Bradley Trevor’s level he took his position behind her, standing tall. To child on the ground, he was terrifying but the rest thought nothing of him.

Rose gestured for the knife and he handed it over immediately. “A-are you going to hurt me?” The reply was husky and menacing. “Yes.”

There were screams of protest but Crow took no mind to them. “Pain purifies steam. Fear too. So now you understand.” The Baseball Boy let out a scream of protest before Rose stabbed deeply into him.

…

Meanwhile as you laid in bed next to Danny who was in a dead coma, you felt someone poking at your mind. “Danny, stop it.” You elbowed him. He grunted and slapped your ass cheek. “W-wha?”

“You’re poking in my head again. Stop it.” He rolled over onto his side and shoved his face into the pillow. “I’m trying to sleep.” You rolled your eyes and as you went to wrap your arms around him, you felt the poke again. Accept this time it hurt. Like an electric shock.

(Hello?! Hello! Please tell me you can hear me.)

You paused before responding.

(I can hear you.)

(Good! They’re hurting him and they won’t stop.)

(Who is they?)

The response terrified you.

(The woman in the hat.)

All the sudden you felt nauseous and you gripped at bed sheets. You knew what was going to happen and you were terrified. The room began to slant on an angle and you gripped onto the head board tightly.

“Babe! What are you doing?” Dan sat up in bed and his face went flat at seeing the expression on your face. “Honey?”

You tried to respond to him physically but couldn’t so instead you turned to the person in your head.

(You’re mine and my husband’s pen pal, aren’t you?)

(Yeah.)

(Are you comfortable with telling me your name?)

(Yeah, it’s Abra.)

(Well Abra, can I ask you to do me a favor?)

The room began to tilt on an angle and you felt your grip on the head board becoming lose.

(Anything.)

(If I get stuck in here, tell Dan I love him.)

Your fingers lost their hold on the frame and you began to spiral down into a dark hole. 'This can’t be happening. This can’t be happening.’ You prayed, silently hoping Abra was wrong but something told you she wasn’t. The dark hole began to reach it’s end and you had enough time to see trees and a sign that read 'NO TRESPASSING: BANKERTON ETHANOL PLANT’ When you felt the spiraling of your body stop.

Your astral body hit the ground hard and you had to spit the dirt out of your mouth. “Ugh, gross.” You attempted to reach forward to try and find something to grip onto that way you could stand up but your hand connected with human skin.

“Oh shit!” You scrambled back at the sight of Barry and you felt your body beginning to levitate upwards. “No! No! Please, please! I don’t want to see it. I don’t want to see it!” Your body wouldn’t move though. You had to look. Unless you were going to get stuck here and hesitantly you opened your eyes. “Oh my god! Stop! Stop! Please stop!”

Your body began to lower and suddenly you felt eyes on you. One of them heard you. “No! No! No! No!” A hand ran itself through your long locks and you trembled.

“What is it?” You knew that voice and you didn’t have to open your eyes to know who was infront of you.

(Look at me.)

You shook your head but felt fingers lifting your head up to force you to look at them and slowly you opened them to see Rose. Her hands covered in blood and her eyes full of steamy lust.

(Well, hi there sweetie!)

Panic began to rise inside you and you reached out to Abra.

(Ru-)

Before you could even finish your thought, Rose plunged the knife back into the Baseball Boy and you let out a scream. “Holy shit! Holy shit!” You screeched feeling his pain.

(Funny how things come around isn’t it, Y/n?)

“Stop! Stop! Rose, please stop! Just stop!” Just as Danny was about to lay back down he jumped up in bed and gently shook your shoulders. “Y/n?! Baby? What’s wrong.”

(You got a friend there, Y/n? I want to see him.)

As Dan leaned over to caress your cheek, you pushed him back. “Y/n!” You could feel the rise Rose was getting out of your pain and it made you mad. You wouldn’t give her the satisfaction of getting kicks off your pain. “Get away from me, Danny! Get away!”

Instead of now just seeing Rose in your eyeshot all of them were in eyeshot with those haunting blue eyes staring at you and you slammed your head against the back of the bed. “Make it stop, Danny! Make it stop!”

This time when you tried to push him away, he held your arms down against your chest that way he could try to wake you up. “She’s going to see you Danny!”

(Yes, Danny. I am going to see you. That your little friend you made down in Florida?)

“Shut up!” You screamed. “Who’s going to see me?!”

“No!”

“God damn it, Y/n! Who do you see?”

BAM!

The room shook and Danny landed backwards onto the hardwood floor. Now he was pissed, not at you but whoever it was he couldn’t see. He grabbed your wrist to stop you from pushing him away. “Leave her alone!”

As Dan continued to shake your body and beg for you to wake up, the astral world around you began to slide. This time you were hanging upside down as you fell and as you did, yours and Crow Daddy’s eyes unintentionally interlocked though he would be aware enough to know it.

As you slammed back into your physical body, you rolled off the bed and hit your head on the dresser. “Oww!” You screeched and started sobbing. Dan tried to pull you into a hug but you kicked at him. “No! No!”

“Y/n-” You let out a scream. “Just leave me alone!” Danny backed away and you let out a sob. “What happened?” He asked gently as he scooped you up into his arms like you were a child. Normally you would protest said act but for right now, you didn’t care. You needed the comfort and that’s how he was giving it.

“They killed him..” You sobbed and you felt Danny let out a sigh as he ran his fingers through your hair. “They killed who?”

“That poor little boy!” You let out a screaming cry and buried your head in his shoulder. “Okay..okay.” You choked on your own sobs and nuzzled closely to him. “It’s alright.”

…

Meanwhile thousands of miles away, the lights of RV’s shined brightly in the darkness of the Iowa night on Crow and Rose as they buried the baseball boy.

As Rose finished throwing her scoop of dirt over Bradley Trevor’s glove she paused for a moment and looked at the ground. “We had a looker.” Crow stopped what he was doing and for the first time in years she actually seen a glint of what she would like to think was excitement in his dark eyes. “Tonight?”

“Yeah.” Rose dropped the shovel on the ground and Crow did the same. “East Coast, I think.” He furrowed his brows. “You’re saying someone looked in from I’ve 10,000 miles away?”

“Could of been farther. Could of been up in Canada, but it gets better. She wasn’t alone either.” Rose smirked slightly. “Y/n was with her.”

They say a picture is worth 1000 words but in that moment Crow Daddy’s face had an expression of infinite emotions. He tried tracking you down a few times after you ran but he honestly wondered what good it would do. He didn’t have to be in your mind to you were petrified of Rose and he figured you probably would want nothing to do with him. His mouth went dry and he felt like he wanted to throw up. “What?”

“Oh yeah and she wasn’t happy to see me either. The second she seen me stab into the kid she was out of there so fast and back to her man friend.”

“Man friend?” He looked boggled. “Oh yeah. Danny is his name. She wouldn’t let me get a look at him though..or the looker but I swear Crow Daddy, I haven’t felt power. Raw power like that off the looker than I’ve felt in so long..”

“Then do you think we should look into it? The sooner the better. Before her parents send her to a psychiatrist. Put her on pills. Muffle the steam and make her harder to find.”

“No, giving paxil to this kid is like putting a piece of saran wrap over a search light. And when either of them come back and trust me, I’ll know they’ll be back, I’ll be ready. Oh I’ll be ready..”

Crow dreaded the prospect though. He didn’t want to see you older. A little bit younger than him. It served as a reminder that time went comes and goes fast and there was no buying more of it. For the rubes at least.

“Besides,” Rose straightened her posture as if she was reflecting back on another thought. “What is tied can never be untied.” As Crow raised an eyebrow Rose met the look with a smirk.

…

Your hands shook as Danny handed you a cup of tea. “There we go.” He wrapped you up with a blanket from behind and hummed appreciatively “Thank you.” He nodded and there was an awkward moment of silence as he stared at the REDRUM on the wall in the next room. “So you going to tell me now or never?”

 "Danny,“ You begged and he shushed you. "Just listen to me. I think it would help if you told me about it though.”

“There’s a reason why I don’t talk about my childhood, Dan.” He squeezed your hand. “I know.” You kissed the tops of his knuckles. “It’s painful.” Your voice started to crack.

“If you’re afraid of me thinking differently of you, I would never. I love you for you. Whatever they did, it’s not on you. Please baby, I know it’s hurting you. Just let me in.”

You sighed and looked down at your kitchen counter. “You remember when you met me all those years ago in Florida?” He nodded and rubbed the tops of your hands. “I was only there for a brief amount of time. I moved around alot as a kid. For a while I never really understood why.”

“You mentioned your family was pretty nomadic but what does this have to do with anything?” Dan asked softly and continued to caress your skin. “The people who raised me, they were special like us. They shined maybe as much, if not more than we did. There are things out there, dark things, that hurt people like us.” Tears started to well up in your eyes. “Y/n-”

“They make people like us never be seen again and they warned me about the dark things and told me to stay away from them but I didn’t know I really didn’t have to worry about them at the time.”

Dan wiped one of your tears away, trying to ignore the hairs sticking straight up on his arms. “Why?” Your teary eyes interlocked with his. “Because I was living with the dark things that hurt people like us.” His posture stiffened and he slowly let go of your face. “What?” You ignored his question, continuing to ramble on.

“They always looked the same. It was the strangest thing. My grandpa went from having a limp in his leg to walking without a cane over night and sometimes when they were near me, my one uncle always looked at me like he was hungry. I was nine and we were staying long term in Georgia for the winter because I was sick. It made my mom a nervous wreck, so she’d stay with me every night while I slept and the one night I woke up over night and she wasn’t there so I panicked and I just remember hearing these screams. They were awful. Like these husky barks and even though I was supposed to be in bed I got up to look for my mom and when I got up she was on top of this little boy and she was-” You choked up a little bit. “She was gutting into him like he was a fish and they were eating him.”

“Like Hannibal Lecter eating him or-” You shook your head. “His shine. They were drinking his screams and pain too.” Dan looked so upset. “Honey.” Your body wracked itself with sobs. “And I’ll never forget the look on his face! Like he was being violated.”

“W-what did they do when they seen you were there?” You tried to wipe some tears away but they just kept pouring rapidly. “Most of them didn’t care or notice at first. My dad on the other hand looked so mortified. I can’t remember if it was him or my mom that picked me up and kept telling me over and over again it was out of survival and that I wasn’t supposed to see it. That it was all for the better. That way they could live longer and be healthier and that they wouldn’t hurt me. They could never hurt me like that.”

“Please don’t tell me you believed them.” His tone almost sounded judgemental and you became defensive. “Dan! What was I supposed to do? They were my family and it’s not like I had any where to go to. Despite what they did, I still loved him even though part of me was scared of them.”

“Sorry! Sorry! I’m just trying to wrap my head around all this.” He kissed the top of your head and you had to supress the urge to just shove him away. “Could you live like that? Live a lie?”

“I kept my mouth shut, Danny and if you were in my shoes you would of done the same. For about 7 years we went on like that until my dad left for business for about a week and I finally couldn’t take it anymore and then truth came out about everything.”

You let out a screaming sob as Rose threw plates around you. “..They would of never of been able to provide for you the way your father and I did! Those rubes pigs were selfish and given the chance, they would of used you and abused you even more than they already did.”

You shook your head feverishly, trying to block out Rose’s word. “You were so desperate to have someone love you, that I barely even had to wipe your mind. You were so touch starved that we practically did nothing but hold you the first couple of weeks you were here. We loved you when no one else did! Not even your fucking mother.”

You choked on your own sobs and slumped down to the ground, not caring if the broken glass on the ground cut into your fragile skin. Rose knelt down to your level and began to pull some of the shards. “But don’t worry though, honey. Daddy fixed that issue.”

You felt your blood run cold and you tensed. “W-what do you mean?” Part of you knew the answer to that question though and you dreaded hearing it come out of her mouth. Rose reached up into a nearby drawer and pulled out an old Polaroid photograph. “Does that answer your question?”

“OH GOD!” You screamed and broke back into hysterics. “He never did it to hurt you. You wanted her dead. Trust me. It was all out of love, my sweet. Every single piece of it was out of love.”

"T-that’s not love!” You stuttered. “No?” Rose’s tone was cynical. “No!..”

“Y/n-”

“14 years, Danny. 14 fucking years, I let them scare me into thinking all people were bad besides them and I thought they were my family the whole time yet it was all just a lie!” Dan wrapped his arms around your waist and planted a kiss on your cheek, trying to process it all. Your water works started up all over again and Danny sighed. “Y/n..Y/n, it’s not your fault.”

“It is Danny! It fucking is! And then she started hitting because she knew I despised her for the truth and it hurt so bad because we went from being so close to so far apart.”

“Baby-”

“My trust with the rest of them too was so torn because they all knew what she was doing and they hid. Over two years I had to lie my dad because I didn’t want to make him upset because he was the only one of them that I trusted and then I let him kill my mother..”

“You were a child, honey. You couldn’t of known. It’s not your fault and that’s all over now. I’m here.” He rocked you back and forth as you cried into him. “And the worse part is that even after everything they’ve done to me, part of me still loves and misses them sometimes.”

Dan’s mind drifted back to his own father and he tensed, understand what it was like to still love the abuser even though they caused more damage than could be repaired. “I know, baby..I know. It’s a fucked up cycle.” You nuzzled close to him.

“Don’t leave me, Danny!” You begged. “I won’t..it’s okay.” As you wept into him, Danny looked off to the side room that had the ominous REDRUM scrawled on the walls and hugged you tight.

“We need to keep that little girl away from them Dan. They’ll hurt her.” He pulled away from you. “We? No! No there is no we in this. If anything, we should stay out of this.”

“Dan! You’re being selfish. We can’t just abandon this little girl.” He shook his head. “It’s not abandoning her if I tell her to keep her head down.”

“That’s the exact opposite of what we should do!” Dan huffed and you placed a kiss against his cheek, cradling his face in your hands. “Look, just listen with an open mind. Okay?”

He nodded and your eyes interlocked with his baby blue ones. “I know they work, Danny. That’s why they took me. To use my shine to find people. They’ll prey on people who put their heads down because it’s easier for them to seem like the good guys. It’ll make her more of a sitting duck. To make her hide this, all of this, it’ll just kill her self esteem and her herself. You have to encourage her.”

“Why me?”

“Because besides me, you’re probably the only person that hears her Dan. Who understands her. She knows you more than me because she turned to you first. You’re the only one who probably interacts with her the way people like us can.” You held his hands in yours. “Do you remember how lonely you felt being younger? We can’t let that happen to her.”

“And I can’t let you get hurt either. If these people, whatever the hell they’re called can find that little girl-”

“Abra. Her name is Abra,” You corrected but Dan only rolled his eyes. “-They probably can find you and I just-”

Dan visibly shivered. “I don’t want to even picture in my mind what things they’d do to you or what would happen you if they found you.” He cupped your face and took in all your features. “I-i’d never be able to live with myself, knowing I could of prevented it. I can’t- I won’t let them hurt you. They’ve done enough damage.”

“So that’s it? We’re just abandoning her?” Dan rubbed his face. “I wouldn’t call it that just..cutting ties for a while.” You pushed away from him and rolled your eyes. “Y/n, I’m sorry but I don’t want you getting killed!”

“Just don’t talk to me right now, Danny. I want to be alone.” You went back to yours and Danny’s bedroom and locked the door before he could get it. “Y/n..come on baby.”

“I told you I want to be alone.” You sat down with your back against the door and Danny did the same from the other side. “Okay..Honey?”

“Yes, Dan?” He laid his hand against the woods barrier between the both of you. “I love you.” Despite how mad you were, you smiled slightly and did the same. “I love you too..now go. Please.”

Dan did as you asked and as he made his walk to the guest room in the second floor of your house, he stopped at the spare room. Staring at the REDRUM on the wall before picking up a piece of chalk and scrawling a quick message. 'Abra: I hope you’re okay and you have a better day tomorrow. Your friends, Dan and Y/n.’

#doctor sleep #dr sleep #imagine #imagines #fanfiction #crow daddy #abra stone #rose the hat #Danny Torrance #dan torrance #x fem reader #x female reader #stephen king #The Shining #the true knot

[phoenixfire-thewizardgoddess]

Hey guys, 

This is the local dog rescue charity that we were carers for, for several years. May do it again in future, but after Debbie (who was rescued by Precious Paws), it feels like we need a break. 

We have had three foster fails, but two puppers came through our home, learned to feel safe and loved, and went on to a perfectly matched new family.

There is always a demand for carers, so if you think you can, have a look at their Carer Info. Or look into the FB page, to keep your eyes open.

The best way to find new carers for animals is having a network of people sharing the Urgent statuses, which flags the attention of new groups of people. No dog will ever be LEFT on death row. They look for carers until the last second, but will absofuckinglutely take the dog anyway and put them in a boarding kennel short-term whilst a carer is located.

No doggo left behind.

It can be a bit confronting, though, so I understand if you cannot. The majority of the dogs have been surrendered to the pound, for various reasons, and the rescues in the region put their hands up for the ones slated for being put down each week. This list constantly refills, so there is always a need.

Some other dogs, like Debbie, are rescued directly from the disgusting human slime of the world who have caused them pain, injury, or attempted to kill them.

Carers open their homes to as many as they can, but there will always be more needed. A dog can be with you for a few months, to a few years, depending on their needs. 

Little Willow was so scared of everything when we got her, it took 5 months to get her to trust men near her due to where she came from. But after nearly a year, she was ready for adoption and went to a new mother; happy, healthy, and confident. She was fast, smart and a very delightful little doggo. I do miss her, sometimes, but her new mother sent us photos of Willow on her first and second adoption anniversaries. 

And little Gemini’s face, when her new family sent a photo from her first meeting with her human brother, was SO BIG!

It is hard to say goodbye, because they are with you for a long time, and you have to work hard with them, so they are an integral part of your life. But it helps to know that their future family is out there, not yet aware that there’s a dog shaped hole waiting to be filled.

As my parental unit says, “In reality, if they were not with us, they’d be dead. Someone without any heart dropped these animals off to be killed, and because of all these rescues, all these dogs and cats get another chance at life.”

Harvey, who we have now, was 9mths (Willow too) when they came to us. BABIES who just were too energetic or too big, so they had to be sent away. It takes a while to rebuild that trust in them.

Not to mention the absolute FUCKS who take their little old dogs, who have known and loved them their WHOLE LIVES to the pound and walk out with a new puppy (or kitten). FUCKS.  Those little doggos are never forgotten, PPARs and the other rescues make sure they have somewhere to go as well! I know of a 16yo bulldog called rosie, who was snappy when she first came and very depressed, who blossomed with her carers into a happy old girl. She was adopted recently!!!

It is important to be aware that these animals are often traumatised and have behaviours that some can consider ‘naughty’. You have to be understanding. Like traumatised kids, the worst thing you can do is yell or hit or whatever, even if they piss on your favourite rug or chew a beloved pair of shoes.

They may snap and snarl. Might shy away from men, or women, or teenagers. Might cower away, or show subservience constantly. Might hide for a few weeks. Might wet themselves or run to hide if something makes a loud noise or there is a specific trigger. They might rip up the couch twice, or hump your pillows. Try to escape the yard (need strong fences). A trigger? One of our kids was terrified of men, the noise of a powertool, and anyone having the hood of their car open. Would sit, shaking, panting in fear if these things were present. Still a bit much for her, but she knows to go to a human, who will keep her safe. Or sit with her sister doggo, who will protect her.

Willow was scared of men, shouting, and would be immediately wet-herself-afraid and show her belly in subservience. My giant bearded mountain of a sibling would lay on the floor with her, and talk gently, let her come over to sniff him. Eventually, she would lay next to him, and finally he could pat her, and it progressed from there. This took months of consistency and care.

I know of another carer couple who had this tiny little dog who was SO SCARED of everything she spent absolute months hiding under their bed or sofa. Too scared to be touched. They fed her and never made a fuss if she had a little accident indoors. And one day, she popped her head out while the male carer was pretending to be occupied... and licked his arm. That was it, went straight back under the bed. But it was a huge step. She can now be held and cuddled, and loves her little life. But it took the time, understanding and patience of these carers to get her there. It’s important to note that carers dont normally have the whole backstory for each dog, but after a while, you tend to get good at figuring it out based on behaviours. Harvey’s behaviours were extremely frantic for attention, he didn’t know how to sit or be still, he was desperate for attention; his behaviours increased when on a lead (which had to be used for the first few weeks and outside time, as this was a New Household Member time).  It was clear that given his age, when we got him, and his behaviours that he’d been an xmas gift puppy that had gotten WAAAAAAY bigger than anticipated. When he was small he’d been the fuss of what we suspect was at least 2 children. After getting too big, he was put on a leash in the yard, and had no real interaction.

Harvey would go BALLISTIC if given even a glance from a human. He NEEDED attention, and it took months of careful work with him to teach sit, stay, look, settle, back back, etc. He’s still a bit ridiculous, sometimes, but he can sleep on a bed with a human and only half drown them in spit (ugh) lmao. 

So consider if you could be a carer.  Or, if that isn’t realistic for you right now... donate.

-------- 

Donate, if you can.

If you’re in Brisbane, you might see them doing sausage sizzles at Bunnings on the weekends to raise needed funds! 

-------

COVID-19 hit all the rescue charities hard. Their normal fundraising was crippled by the lockdowns, but animals are always in need of new homes and protection.

If you can help out your local shelters, they’d appreciate it!

There’s food and supplies that need to be paid for; PPAWs specifically help out pensioners who take on an animal, by providing the food and toys, collar, bedding, etc. There’s desexing, microchipping and all vaccinations to be paid for. Some animals have extreme medical issues that need to be fixed (such as a dog surrendered with a broken hip, or dogs like Debbie, who were starved almost to death. Who need intensive and long-term things; with Debbie, my family put money forwards for her insulin and eye surgeries, etc. bc we could budget for it. Not everyone can, though.

There’s also little emergencies here and there that they jump in for, to assist.  [E.g early on when the caninculin levels were being sorted, Debbie had a random fit, so I rushed her in and they discovered her BSL had hit 1 - very dangerous. PPAWs got on the phone and said, “Any tests, any medication, any fluids, anything that needs to happen for that little girl, you DO IT” and they stabilised her. PPAWs also helped fund the full-day glucose testing and blood panel the next day and an overnight with the vet, that was pretty expensive. To be clear, it is expected that her starvation and new diabetes was likely to experience highs and lows, so we had bought a glucometer, and had squeezy-top bottles of honey all over the house as an emergency-response kit. When Debbie went funny, we filled her mouth full of honey and transported; which was the protocol, as was taking her medication chart (she’d been waaaay high for BSL that morning so this dip was SCARY). It took another incident before the vet decided to use an interstitial fluid monitor, and the results backed up our concerns that Debbie was having completely random highs/lows and spikes with no real pattern. She had the vet recommended food and no treats outside of the ones she was allowed, and at times suggested by the vet. Except on her last day when the vet said she could absolutely have a wholw happy meal, and little Debbie was DELIGHTED. I have the funniest photo of her with it all in her mouth looking excited but not sure where to go from there, but it still makes me cry to look at it because we lost her just three weeks ago. (We did rip it into little mouthfuls for her, though. Just to clarify.) She was placed on a higher dose, after that, and was completely stable from there. It was the testing that initially identified a flaw, though, and we are forever grateful that PPAWs stepped in on that day.

And the point of my rambling speech... is that shit happens. Especially with these dogs, cats, horses, and all the other animals they rescue.  Emergencies are often the most expensive to cover for charities.

On the upside! Donations also help with a) transporting animals to carers around the region, and b) on the occasion that an animal’s new furever family is interstate, they can be flown to them!

Lots of stuff.

Think about the mess of words, and consider donating - to PPAWs, or find out the name of your local charity and see if they need help!

#sorry for interjecting all the personal things #ppaws

[ksoap-ie]

The new virus in town & the truth // Ha-Eun

This is a mess but I wanted drama so here we are.

Due to COVID-19, Korea will be on lock down. Please take the following precautions in order to stop the spread of the virus. Only leave the house to collect essentials, providing you wear a mask. Your temperature will be checked before entering the store. Do not meet up with family or friends outside of your household. If you feel any symptoms, isolate yourself.

After that announcement, the members of Astro found themselves stuck in the dorms together and Ha-Eun immediately called her family.

“Dad, is everyone okay at home?”

“We’re all fine, I don’t suppose I’ll be going to work, let alone receiving any money. I won’t even be able to go out to get shopping Eun, your mother is vulnerable and I can’t risk her catching it.”

“I could get shopping for you? I’ll leave it at the front door and you could wipe it down later.”

“Oh could you?. Everywhere that does online shopping is fully booked already. That’ll help a great deal.”

“When shall I get it for you?”

“Could you go today? We have basically nothing in the kitchen.”

“Um, sure. I’ll talk to the guys. See you later Dad.”

The call ended and it took a few moments for Eun to snap out of her trance. She made her way out of the bedroom, and towards the boys who are sitting on the sofa. 

“Are you done with your call?” Jinjin asks, to which Ha-Eun nods, “Alright everyone, I know we can’t go to the studio right now but we can’t fall behind. Let’s practice our new song-”

“Um, actually...” Eun starts, eyes glued to the floor. “My parents don’t have any shopping at home and my Dad can’t get out of the house as my mum is vulnerable to the virus. Could I skip this one? I promise I’ll catch up!”

At that, the boys frown. 

“Are you kidding? Your parents house is a 3 hour drive. Public transportation is shut. How do you expect to get there?” Sanha questions with worry lingering in his eyes. Eun awkwardly scratches the back of her head.

“Well, I didn’t think that far...”

“Clearly not. You’re not even thinking of your own safety or financial situation, Eun. I don’t suppose your Dad is going to pay you back for this.” 

“Hey Sanha, chill.” Jinjin says, putting a hand on his shoulder before turning to Eun. “I’ll let you go but I don’t want you going alone. We’re in a pandemic and I don’t want fans coming after you.”

After hearing that, Eunwoo stands up, jingling his keys in the air. “I’ll go along, I’ve got my car in the garage.” 

The par get ready, go to the store and finally arrive at Eun’s parents house after four hours. They place the bags outside, knocking on the front door soon after. A few moments of silence pass before the front door opens, showing Ha-Eun’s Dad, a medical mask across his mouth and the bridge of his nose.

“Hi Eun, thanks for doing this!” 

“No problem, but uh, I think this will be a one off until I can take a train here. It’s unfair on Eunwoo that he had to waste his time doing this.” At that, Eunwoo shakes his head.

“Hey, you know I don’t mind helping out.”

“Then could you do it again next week?” Eun’s dad asks.

“I’m sorry sir, as idols we’re quite busy. We’re preparing for our next comeback and I don’t want Eun to risk her health coming out every week.”

“Of course son, I understand that but Eun is the only one who can do this-”

“I’m sure the government would be glad to help out, I can get links to the website and get Eun to send them to you.” He slides his arm tightly around her shoulder, taking a few steps back. Before turning around he continues. “We have to go practice now but I was nice seeing you.”

Just then, a voice echos from inside the house.

“Jae-Ho, you’d better jump in the shower and put your uniform on! Your shift starts in an hour!”

Everything falls silent. Eun’s racks though the many thoughts circling her head. I’m not deaf am I? I know I didn’t just hear Mum say Dad is going to work when he told me, he wasn’t leaving the house for safety reasons. I know I didn’t just waste everyone’s time for this-

She turns around, fury written all over her face.

“Eun you’re mum’s sick. She doesn’t know what she’s talking about-”

“Sick? Are you kidding me? Stop using my mother as an excuse for your lies.” She spits, taking a step forward. Eunwoo quickly follows her, with his arm still tightly around her body, in an attempt to calm her down. “I knew something was up. You’ve been going to work this whole time, you didn’t need my money so why did you take it? Why do you get mad at me when you know you can look after yourself but I can’t? What parent takes- no steals money off their own kid. I can’t believe you. You have just wasted 4 hours of everyone’s time. Do you understand how important practice is to an idol? I’m about to drive home for another 3 hours because you lied to me. You took my money and you risked my friends safety.”

“Eun, please. My work is essential. You know that.”

“And mine isn’t? My living and financial conditions aren’t important to you? I’m sorry but please don’t contact me for a while.”

With that, the pair start their long journey home. They don’t talk. There’s nothing fun to talk about. Eun just sits, watching the cars pass by, thinking how she was used and how her feelings were manipulated by someone whom she trusted so.

#astro #rocky #eunwoo #jinjin #moonbin #mj #astromj #kim myungjun #sanha #kpop #kpop fanfiction #astro fanfic #kpop addition #kpop female member #kpop female addition

[benbantz]

Week 17 with long term Covid

Hello to anyone reading this, those I know and those I don’t.

Had Covid 19 now for 17 weeks (or suffering after effects of covid, how ever you want to word it.) Point is had/have Corona and it’s still kicking my arse.

So since my recent facebook update (after being pretty quiet on social media for a while) a couple of peeps have messaged me asking about my symptoms and stuff as (apart from the first 2-3 weeks) I haven't really gone into any detail I just sort of say 'having rough week' or 'things flared up again' etc etc. Without going into too much detail about anything specific. So for anyone interested, and because people have been curious and asking - and as you’ll see is far to detailed to explain person to person (and want to spread the word about long haulers as a lot of people struggling) So it’s just easier for me to have it in one place. For myself more then anything. And if you get anything out of it then that’s great.

Things are just starting to come out about long haulers in the media and on the news and I know people are interested to learn a bit more about it all. So while I’m having a not too bad a time last couple of days I’d thought it’s a good a time as any to go thru all my symptoms. Get them typed out for first time.

And maybe it will be helpful to someone who randomly comes across this post - (thou please don’t use as a guide), every case is different, a lot of similarities   and cross overs , but ultimately different  Just because someone you know might be having a rough couple of days or experiencing a couple of these symptoms it could be something completely unrelated to covid. (Make sure you check with your GP or call 111 if you think you have covid symptoms long term or otherwise.) I am not a Dr.

Here's a list of everything been going on with me over last 17 weeks.           Some experiences have been completely new to me so very hard to explain , some descriptions may sound a little odd , but hopefully you get idea of what I mean! (Also sorry for any grammar mistakes....I dropped out of English A level)

Those who come across this and don’t know me personally know that while this is a (mostly) serious (but hopefully uplifting) post I’m very sarcastic and use dumb humour to deflect from how shit life is at the moment! :-) 

So first thing of the bat I'll explain is I've realised in recent weeks it's been easier to think of it as good and bad days/weeks rather then getting better/worse (as in first 10 or so weeks when I thought of it as 'it's getting better' and got in that positive mindset, the kickbacks have obviously beaten the piss out of me mentally as well as physically, as I've had about four big relapses now where I thought I'm on the right track, having a good couple of weeks then bam, I seem to go back to square one for no real apparent reason. So when I say bad day I'm describing when everything amps/flares up again, A few more symptoms go up and the volumes up on high,and likewise a good day is when things seem to be moving in right direction again and I get a bit of a break.(So now I just appreciate them when they come and try make most out of them.) A good day isn’t a symptom free day by any means, it’s just better then the bad ones.

OK so on to my symptoms.

Specific Areas

Chest - Since the first evening it kicked of early March my chest has felt like a giant has had his hand around it - that’s non stop, constant (told you my explanations were weird.)

On the better days it's a very light grip I can get on and do things to a point, but I am always aware it's there. On a bad day it's grip tightens and he squeezes (or  his fingers press into a couple of key areas - been pressing on my back a lot last few weeks.) - That’s been non stop and has not gone away since beginning. Thou I do believe its starting to ease a little. 

- Chest pain - A shooting pain in my chest (slightly different from description above, feels more like its needles on inside of body. Thankfully these are uncommon, they pop up if I push myself a bit too far one day or if I’m having rougher week.(And it’s not heart related)

Lungs/Breathing - Haven't felt like I've taken in a full lungful of air since beginning, I take a deep breath but only feels like I'm taking in 80- 85% ish (on a good day) 65- 75% ish (on a bad day) - This is week 17 numbers btw,  take maybe 10-15% off when it was at worst. I think the best way I can describe it is it feels like there’s a filter or a sieve/strainer at top of lungs, on a good day there’s more spaces available to breathe thru (but still there’s a filter) and on a bad day more spaces close and I'm breathing thru less.

 *Thankfully bar the first week where I had to get paramedic out, I haven't been gasping for air, I've certainly had to just lay and just concentrate on only breathing a few times because the filters have closed up a lot more (in the night mostly) especially where my bodies relaxed and I've woken and panicked short of air. Yes that’s as terrifying as it sounds.

- The air I do take in doesn't feel clean or fresh (best way I can describe it is when you go to a zoo and they have a indoor Rain Forrest/safari area .... very that lol) That was constant the first 12 or so weeks (even when getting fresh air outside) thankfully that’s eased a little and not so prominent, still doesn't feel like I’m breathing in fresh air but its not so hot and stuffy and noticing the difference when I go outside now.

Throat/Mouth - Burning/inflamed mouth - This is by far been the most uncomfortable/hardest for me to ignore and just get on with day to day stuff, from maybe week 6 to week 14 it was pretty much non stop burning mouth and throat (Call my mum Khaleesi because I was spitting fire.)

 Whole inside of my mouth and down my throat was just inflamed/swollen (felt like I had a golf ball stuck down there) and burning hot. The last couple of weeks its eased I don’t wake up with it (unless i’m having a flare up/bad day) It's still very on/ off but thankfully not constant like it was. And have since learned that high histamine foods make it worse - same with my chest and few other things,  (so choc, dairy, alcohol, fizzy drinks ...my diet essentially ) So have cut most of them down/out. Ice lollies have been my savior on hot throat days. - Marble in throat - Another hard one to explain, it feels like there’s a marble sort of sized ball of phlegm that I constantly need to clear. (OK maybe not that hard to explain - also sorry for the gross imagery.) But not enough mucus coming up to warrant the feeling, it’s irritating more then anything - but a few weeks ago was probs golf ball sized, so again improvement! - This sort of ties in with with the inflamed mouth, but the first thing to flare up on bad day is my tongue, feels tingly most of the time anyway but more so on a flare up/bad day.  - Same with my teeth / gums and the tingly sensation, (my teeth constantly feel like that sensation when you have some orange juice after brushing your teeth.) Sensitive/fuzzy I guess. Not particularly bothersome or concerning...just weird.

Nose

- This is probably one of newest ones, nose has felt hot(on and off)/bunged up for last few weeks. (But I know its not if that makes sense)  I guess you could say same as lungs - not breathing in a full nose-full of air either.  - sorry again for gross TMI but any mucus or boogers are clear (like almost see thru clear/never been cleaner clear)  - Phantom smells - A really odd one, I smell smoke and gas a lot, not just smell it, it feels like its in my nose and my mouth - especially smoke, almost like I’ve eaten it sometimes (non smoker in smoke free flat btw). Was a lot more prominent in first few weeks ,so much so that before I realised it was a symptom I had my carbon monoxide alarms checked because it was making me paranoid I could smell smoke/gas. A bizarre one for sure. Pops up randomly now and again.

Eyes - Last couple of weeks have been getting bit of blurry vision and sore or dry eye , I'm already blind as shit so hard to tell in terms of blurriness how bad this one is, but def finding it harder to concentrate on one thing for too long (but that sort of ties in with brain fog - which i'll get to) but pretty sure once this is done with and I go to opticians will likely need a stronger prescription (some other long haulers who never had eye problems before are now having to wear glasses) No idea if that’s a permanent one but hopefully i’m at peak of it.

Ears - My left ear has felt blocked pretty much since start (or like it needs to pop some days) Most the time I can ignore it but can be quite distracting if it kicks up a couple of dials.Which is likely why I get ear ache in same ear often as well.

*Also for most the things listed above it has always been worse on my left side of body, lung, eyes, ear, headaches.

- Tinnitus (correct word for ringing in ears right?) Usually kicks in early afternoon or on bad day. Varies on strength depending on the day I’m having.

Head/Brain - Brain Fog - So the sort of very basic science behind this is because my lungs aren't producing enough oxygen my brain knows this, so is lending them some to help out...but because of this it means I’m experiencing what is known as brain fog (I don’t know what its actually called, likely has a better more official sounding name) - my concentration is very low, i’m finding it hard to retain things and concentrate more then usual. (not been up to reading or watching something new for month or so as I just cant focus on it) Also been getting odd words muddled or confused (but the bar wasn't the highest with me on that front ha ha)

 Been dropping things when I think I have them in my hand. I do however think this is improving (The fact that I have typed this out with just a couple short breaks so far is much better then two weeks ago when I couldn't even focus on a computer game for more then half a hour) so as my lungs improve so does this or vice versa on flare up. *Edit - This whole post has taken a couple of days to draft and type up, so not too bad in terms of needing breaks etc.

-I'm also constantly aware of my brain... like I can feel it all the time (I literally cant explain that any other way lol, I guess its just heavier at moment so I can feel it against my skull) best explanation I think you'll get from that one. - Have a headache most the time (so much so that I sort of forget it’s there.) Thankfully most the time there mild/low and I can forget or distract myself but like everything else if I'm having a bad few days it goes up a notch. Likely connected to the brain fog.

Stomach and Lower abdomen - Period pains - only way I can explain it, generally thought after nearly 10 years without them it was messing my body about so much I was getting  phantom periods. (I’m a transgender man, 4+ years on testosterone, for anyone I don’t know who comes across this) been there done that, brought the t-shirt.. then sent it back because it wasn’t for me!  Very strong and painful on and off for first eight weeks, get the odd twinge now and again but think that ones done with, thank the gods. - Stomach Pains - Few aches and pains on /off, and recently experienced what felt like needle/stabbing pain for short while in short bursts - and I only really mention stomach because I haven't had the widely publicised  'covid shits' (yet, touch wood... or cloth) So yay!

Heart - Palpitations - First 8 weeks was on and off most days to the point if I was sat still my heart would be palpitating. (I couldn't even sit and listen to music I enjoyed as it would make my heart go mad.) - When I do get the palpitations it sets most things off, so if palpitations do start I generally know I'm about to have rough couple of hours or days and can’t do much, for obvious safety reasons. Thankfully these have subsided a lot last 6 or so weeks. Still get them every few days but generally know whats setting me off and how to lower them down and they don’t last as long.

Hands and Feet - Skin been very dry last couple of months, cracking and peeling on hands and feet (ew)  - Pins and needles/ numb fingers and toes - Get this a lot, obviously very normal stuff but just find them coming on a lot more (especially if i’m holding something like my ipad, phone or xbox controller for a while) Fingers feel numb/puffy a lot too. (Likely also why I keep dropping things) - Also to tie in with skin, have had a on /off spots on chest, face and shoulders for few weeks, they all came up at same time, not irritant or itchy or anything, just there.

General/Other weird things - Voice - So this is one that frustrates me the most, I have had next to no voice for last maybe 10 weeks.  I just cant chat to people at moment. For first 4 weeks wasn't to bad (I even started a youtube channel to keep me occupied and distracted) but slowly week by week it went a little bit more each time. I can talk for short periods of time if I have to/choose to ,like its not gone completely, but it kicks up all the things I mentioned in my throat and mouth directly after. If the phone rings I have to decide if it’s worth answering, in doing so knowing i’m going to have a rough day or so after. Someday’s I feel it's better then others like couple of weeks ago, chatted to my brothers online on xbox for half an hour or so for the first time in weeks, and caught up with a friend on phone for 10 minutes...but a couple of days later everything flared up again. So it's still trial and error and just being patient with my voice. (I'm quite confident no long term damage is being done now as few people in group i’m in reported there voice just eventually got better over time.) Definitely the symptom I’m having to be most patient with. - Fatigue and tiredness - My days now are normally diddily done by 4-5, (except if its a bad day then most of the day is a write off) No matter how little or much I've done, by 5-6 my body and mind are exhausted. As someone who has insomnia, pre covid I would maybe have 1-2 all nighters every ten or so days sprinkled in with 5-6 days of at most 3-4 hours sleep. In the last 17 weeks I have had just 3 all nighters, and maybe just under ten 3-4 hour sleeps. Otherwise i’m getting at least 5+ hours a night. This is the one covid thing I'd like to keep please lol.  I think it's easing a little (most the bad night sleeps have been in last month) and on good days tiredness is kicking in a little later, or it's taking me a little longer to drift off. But generally am cream crackerd a lot of time, especially if I push myself too far on a bad day. - Loss/Increased appetite - This sort of ties in with what I mentioned earlier about different foods causing set backs, the first 6 weeks I had no appetite and lost a bit of weight (I do put a lot of this down to extreme worry and stress thou)  Then I went thru a phase of being very hungry for a few weeks and put most of the weight I had lost back on. I'm somewhere in the middle now, probably because I know most of anything I eat will set me back a little (because as mentioned fussy git = high histamine diet) so i’m cutting portions (otherwise known as the amount of cheese I add to everything!) and cutting out all most junk food (you’ll never part me from my crisps!) and non healthy drinks.  

- Bloated and dehydration - This one I sort of put in pencil because it could be covid related but I also think it could be side effects  from the brown asthma inhaler I was prescribed to help with breathing. I’m still undecided as it pops up especially when I was using inhaler more but it does happen days after I’ve last used it. At it’s worse I was getting up to pee a lot! because I was thirsty all the time. So of course was just very bloated around the belly. 

*Also talking of peeing, (Great segway Ben) number 1′s and 2′s have been very different then normal, urine thicker and bubbly,and smells/is coloured different,   (same with 2′s) Also have a completely different body odour at the moment,(pungent) having to use deodorant twice as much as normal. - Admit it your life’s a little bit better now you know that information.

- THE HEAT! - I touched on this with my mouth and nose being on fire, but for the first 10-12 weeks I did not go a day where at least a couple of things were not burning hot ,like hot to the touch as well, not just inside...(very different experience then having a temperature). Extreme heat in one very specific part of body. Ears, forehead, cheeks, chest, back, nose, mouth,throat to name a few of prominent ones. Over time they have faded (if something does feel hot now its generally not hot to the touch anymore.) Maybe on a bad day a couple of things will burn up. (But in saying that, been calling today a good day but nose is quite hot) but point is its better. - Mood swings/Anxiety - While i’m fairly confident anything emotional has stemmed from experiencing...well everything you've just read. Rather then it being its own symptom (thou I have had days of uncontrollable crying, days of anger..that perhaps outside of covid I would still of had one of those days but just not to such a extreme, I think with everything going on its just amped that emotion and anxiety up.)  it's obviously been very stressful and anxiety inducing. That’s only calmed down in last week since finding the facebook group of other people going thru the same thing. I'm now seeing that people are slowly improving, i'm seeing I've not been going mad and it's all very real and not just happening to me. So the bad days are easier to deal with now and not hitting me emotionally like a ton of bricks anymore. I honestly couldn't see the end of the tunnel two weeks ago but can see it now (even if I take a step forward one day but then 2-3 back another...I see it still.)

*Mushy moment Alert - A good a place as any to include while I'm talking about emotion  - Even thou she probs wont see this,but want to mention my mum. She’s been my rock thru all this, she messages me at least twice everyday without fail, since day 1. Even thou I know she's been worried sick about me herself, she's reassured and calmed me down on the harder more stressful days. I dread the mornings when things have gone downhill a bit and having to tell her ,because I know she'll worry, but after a few texts we both end up sort of reassuring and calming the other down. (especially in the earlier days when it was really bad, scary, new and unknown.) When it was really getting me down for a while and I wanted nothing to do with anything covid related and just stay in bed and pretend this wasn't happening to me, she dug out the articles and tips and things to help or give me a boost. (Not to mention all the coming and going she and my step dad have done for me last 4 months and taking care of my shopping for first 9 or so weeks...because I was a useless mess of a human)       I know it’s basic mum stuff but this would be 10x harder and lonelier without her. Random detour I know but can’t talk about my covid experience and recovery without mentioning her.

Almost looking forward to sending her the first  'Everything normal today' text as much as I look forward to experiencing it....almost. ;-)  

Amount of Symptoms On A Typical Day

On a good day - (when I think virus was at it's worse in the first 10-14 weeks) - 4-6 symptoms ( 2 or 3 cranked up to a medium or high otherwise on mild)

On a bad day - At peak/worse - 6-10 symptoms (throat, chest and no voice on high volume, maybe a couple of things like palpitations and brain fog, heat on medium/high, other weird stuff on mild/low)

Good day  - Now 17 weeks in (excluding my voice which is still a medium to high issue most days) - 3-4 Symptoms on low to mild - usually there’s something still simmering on a medium always ready to turn up to a high if I push it too much in terms of walking or talking. (often my chest) Bad Day (Now) - 4-7 Symptoms - 1 to 3 on medium (maybe a couple will kick up to high on first day of a flare up, but generally now for shorter periods of time.)Everything else on mild or low.

So there has def been improvement in last 6 weeks, i’m sure it wont all be plain sailing and I know/prepare to expect another 'flare up' and then a bad few days. But recently instead of the bad days being 2-3 weeks of it constantly, the duration is getting shorter each time (last bad few days was just under a week)  So things are slowly improving, and i’m sure in time so will the amount of symptoms and the strength of each symptom.

I've probably missed a couple of silly/odd little things that have gone on (likely because they were so early on or very brief (or I’ve forgotten) -  fever and nausea to name a couple. When I got my notes together these were the main ones that came to mind. Quite a lot actually sitting back reading them, and I think the scary (but good) thing is, x-ray came back fine, bloods came back fine.  People have had MRI's, camera’s down there throat, most coming back fine. Covid just not showing up on any tests(unless someones suffered further complications with something) - hence why a lot of people struggling to be taken seriously by there GP's or even loved ones who think there just 'exaggerating’ or its just ‘anxiety and stress'...no living with all what you just read causes anxiety and stress Mary! 

But yeah could waffle on, once its definitely gone and I breathe and look back I can perhaps get a better overview of everything and give you better analysis of all that’s gone on. I get asked 'so when do you think it will be gone?' almost as much as 'are you better now?' To the first question, meh I don't know, I'm now into month 4/week 17 (well month 5 if I include last couple of days of Feb when I believe I caught it and had the very mild cold early March) still a lot of things going on with my body, some new things could still pop up, so instead of saying 'I think it will be gone by..'  ,like I did in the first weeks. I'm just taking it week by week (or day by day if it kicks up a notch) not making any big demands of myself or my body, doing what I can each day....but not pushing it. Instead of the sad, anxiety inducing thought 'when will it go' or the one all us long haulers worry about a lot ‘Will it ever go?’ I now try to think instead  'it will go!.'

To any fellow long haulers I say hang in there, keep fighting, trust your body and that it will get better. Take it day by day. Stay as positive as you can when everything 'flares up again' after a couple of weeks of good progress (easier said then done I know) but know it wont be forever as much as it feels like it is. Don’t be afraid to ask for help (I hate going to Drs would much rather just 'get on with it' , but from pestering a little I got a blue inhaler which has helped me a lot day to day,and had x-ray and blood tests which also put my mind at ease when they came back clear. So don’t be afraid to ask to get these things checked if you’re worried. I've been lucky with my GP's thou who I think have generally believed me and taken me seriously and I know not everyone is getting that help or respect. I think it’s really not helped us that in the early days people were stubbing their toes and thinking they had caught covid and calling their Dr’s (I’m exaggerating but hopefully you get my point lol), so if you do get a not so helpful interaction, be patient,explain yourself or try again with another Dr, remember a GP will only advise you symptom by symptom and not as a whole.   Anyway I’m repeating stuff you already know by now lol.   

Stay positive. Stay hopeful and stay safe.

To anyone else, believe us, know this is very real, and that it absolutely sucks. Its not just anxiety or in our head. We're not exaggerating - in fact most of us are probably playing it down or just not elaborating on things for an easy life and because when someone asks 'are you better now?'  it's easier to just smile and nod and answer 'getting there slowly' because the truth is...well what you just read lol. (And I'm a particularly mild case...next to no coughing, no spells in A and E, a breeze for a lot of other people with long term) Keep yourselves safe (most long haulers have no previous medical /problems/conditions. Some ,myself included, have weakened immune systems due to a long term health condition. A unlucky few are fighting another long term medical illness as well as covid. I'm lucky in that I have no dependants (except 4 easy to please gecko's) and was not working prior to catching it - some are having to deal with all this and be full time parents, or have been to and fro with their jobs (thinking there better then relapsing after going back). There’s mums messaging on behalf of there young kids who have it, lots of young people (one of the lads that co runs the group is 22 I believe), there's athletes/health fanatics used to running miles every day been completely knocked of there game unable to even walk to end of road some days. People of all age ranges. Point is anyone can catch it, it might not just be 'a couple of rough weeks' It might take over half a year for you to recover from.  This myth that it's short and sweet, or a walk in the park if your young and healthy needs to be squashed because its just not accurate. 

If not for my mum and our family and the facebook group I found, (Positive path of wellness - Covid UK Long Haulers) I'd be struggling, really struggling. It's scary, brutal and lonely. I wouldn't wish it on anyone. The virus is still out there it has not gone. Keep sanitising hands and wear a mask in busy places!. - Tell the guy who's life this has been for 17 weeks, why wearing a mask in public places, to keep yourself and others safe from catching this nightmare, is a inconvenience for you Karen...go on, I'll wait...

Maybe you can help prevent yours or someone else's next few months from being even worse. x

Was going to just make this a one time post on tumblr account but if it’s a help to anyone (especially fellow long haulers) I’ll post some other bits and bobs when i’m up to it. (thinking of doing a post about things/products etc that I think have been helping me. If that’s useful to anyone) Or just some positive/ funny things to keep spirits up. Keeping it all positive and upbeat as possible.

So I’ll see if anyone reads this first and go from there

So I guess in conclusion ...lol I’m just joking, this post is really done now, go back to your lives, this garbled mess of self woe (worlds smallest violin is back in its case now), sarcasm and naff humour has taken up far too much of all of our days already. Go peacefully amongst the things. :-) 

Stay safe everyone x

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