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#sometimes i just wanna scroll without being subjected to
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Hi Weird Question, but how many followers would you ballpark say you have gotten from posting about qsmp?
I ask this because Ive been on tumblr for a LONG while, I have run multiple fandom blogs and this is the worst follow to notes ratio I have ever gotten for a blog (it is relativity new as well though). I don't want to sound weird and complain about the number of followers I have, but of the 523 posts in my blog, 38 are original posts. I have 236 notes total from those 38. and zero followers. compared to when one of my other blogs was at this size I would have somewhere of a ballpark of 10ish especially with a few posts chilling way above the average of 6 notes
I feel like this could be an issue much like the issue pertaining to people not reblogging stuff, but also I may need to reevaluate the way im interacting with people on this site >_<.
that's kind of a hard question bc i was gaining followers from the trigun fandom very shortly before i started posting about qsmp, so there was a period of overlap, but i guess when i switched to posting primarily about qsmp i would say i've gained approx. 350-400 followers. i typically get anywhere between 100-1000 notes on any qsmp post i make (excluding liveblogging) and i am apparently a more popular blog because i write fanfiction and make analysis posts on occasion which has made me weirdly well known in some places of the fandom and that is terrifying i hate being perceived HELP
ANYWAY i think a better blog to use as an example would be when i had to use a new blog because this one was unfairly flagged for a couple weeks. i used a previously unused sideblog to liveblog and make posts on since posts on my main wouldn't show up in the main tags. i typically got a fair amount of notes, anywhere between 50 to 200 on each post, but i only ended up with maybe 4 or 5 followers on that blog (excluding mutuals i had advised to follow that blog as a backup in case my main went down forever [which it didn't thank fuck]).
honestly?? i assume the lack of following is because a lot of people in this fandom are very wary. qsmpblr likes to hail itself as better than twitter (and it is in some respects for sure, i'm not denying that), but it feels like everyone in this fandom has some kind of Opinion on Something at all times. there's always something to complain about or criticize about anything, whether it be the admins, an event, another cc's character, a cc themself, etc etc. if you follow a person you will be subjected to all of their opinions on every single issue that pops up, even if it's just a dismissal of whatever current discourse is making its way through the tag (and i'm guilty of this myself sometimes, i'm no angel here). there is not a single day that goes by without something negative crossing my dash regarding something that's going on with the smp. doesn't matter what it is, someone will have something to say about some kind of issue no matter what, and that shit gets tiring. sometimes it's better not to follow people lest you find yourself bombarded with opinions. that way you can still scroll your dash without worrying about seeing untagged discourse and infighting and criticism.
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jasminegazer · 1 month
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Chapter 6 Part 2
Raph stopped.
Usually he didn’t let anyone interrupt him during a fight. But this wasn’t usual. Donnie had never yelled at him like that before. Sure Raph got on his brothers nerves and got into loud arguments but not like this.
His purple branded brother had never let anyone see him so openly upset before. Not since they were like 9. Usually he would just stay in the tent and wait until he was fully collected to let anyone see him. The only person who ever got to see Dee like this was Mikey.
But Raph couldn’t think about that. That brought emotions and ‘mushy’ feelings and those made him look weak. They made him feel weak. And Raph wasn’t weak. He couldn’t be.
“Dee-” Of course Leo would change the entire subject in 2 seconds. He had the better traits of a big brother. The ones people respected. Raph was just stuck with being a bully.
“No! You guys are gonna make him upset again!” Tear tracks laid deep on his face. He looked so tired and his voice was so strained it was a miracle he wasn’t sobbing. His look shocked Raph just as much as the words and voice coming out of his mouth.
“Wait. Who?” Raph tried not to look concerned but his change of aggression was an obvious give.
“Mikey!”
Both Leo and Raph froze looking back and forth from each other. Confusion and utter disbelief crossed their faces.
“. . . Dee”
“All you ever do is fight! And everyone around you has to deal with it!”
“Donnie”
“You just keep on going on and on and”
“Donnie!”
“What?! What do you want me to do?! What do you want me to feel?!”
“Mikey isn’t here.”
The truth was well known but it still stung to have to hear it. Raph had to close his eyes and hide tears that burned at the tips of his eyelids. No Stop that It won’t help.
Donnie’s expression softened after realizing his mistake. He eyes shot to the ground, tears running down his face.
Everyone froze in the choking silence of their room. The sound of their dad doing the dishes was faint and seemed to slip further and further away. No one knew what to do.
Leo turned to Raph for guidance. Why did he do that sometimes? How was Raph supposed to know what to do? But somehow he always knew what Leo was thinking or tried to tell him. Even without words they knew each other too well.
Donnie was the first one to break the ice this time. “I-I mean-what I was trying to say was-” Hiccups interrupted his warbled speech. But the current youngest turtle was interrupted by the sound of Leo’s phone buzzing.
The blue turtle quickly answered eager to break the silence and awkwardness of the situation. “Hey April. This isn’t really the best time right now.”
“Have you guys seen the news?” She sounded so excited and enthusiastic that it contradicted the old vibe of the room.
“Nooooo.” Leo looked at his brothers in confusion. Donnie wiped his tears and leaned in closer to hear the conversation.
“Well you’re gonna wanna see this!”
April sent Leo a link as they remained on call. He opened the link to see the headline blaze into view in the news website’s signature animation.
SHIPPING DOCK SECURITY GUARDS AT EAST HARLEM FOUND WOUNDED BY MYSTERIOUS FOOT FIGURES
2 security guards are rushed to the hospital after being found with lethal wounds. The only clue police are left with is a piece of ripped fabric from the attackers’ clothing.
“Scroll down and look at the picture!”
Leo did as told and gasped at the sight before him. The picture was badly lit but the red circle containing the emblem of a foot was clearly seen on the dark clothing.
“Is that it?! Is that what the emblem from your attackers looked like?!”
They couldn’t believe how easily this had just appeared. It was both horrifying and relieving to find their first point in the right direction.
“Holy fucking-”
“Oh my-”
“Yes! Yes! It is! April you’re a genius!”
The turtle brothers celebration was brief as they got ready and geared up. Raph was rushed more than he usually did. Hold on Mikey. We’re coming.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Pain.
What a great way to wake yourself with. Mikey didn’t even have the strength to open his eyes for a while. But that didn’t matter in their eyes. They just kept on asking question after question until they rendered him useless.
At this point it was a good thing Mikey wasn’t dead. But that wasn’t quite comforting enough to fight the pain. He assumed he had two black eyes again(Great yet another reminder of the whole super duper fly fight).
He couldn’t take it anymore. He had to at least see what was going on. It took effort and he definitely had 2 black eyes but he did it. It was dark only the moonlight lit the large room. It looked like one of the old abandoned warehouses him and his brothers used to explore before rendering them boring. Back when they weren’t allowed to be a part of civilization and were forced to live in the sewers.
He was sitting with his legs crossed. Partially hovering over the ground because of the chains that pressed into his skin and kept his arms and shell tightly bound to the pillar behind him. Sharp movements made his head spin and his face distort in pain that followed.
“Look who decided to wake up.”
Mikey craned his neck up to see his captor. It was the same one from last night. 2 other figures stood guard lurking around the now confirmed warehouse.
“Good mornin” Whenever a situation was unexpected, Mikey usually saw comedy as a good ice breaker.
“So the freak thinks it’s funny.” It was easier to see that the people of the room were leaning against or sitting on old tables.
“Is that a bad thing?” He was using that tone where he was trying to be polite but it always was seen as rude by his dad and adults. Mikey probably shouldn’t have kept talking but the teenager had a bad habit of rambling in these situations.
The main person who was talking- whom of which Mikey found to be an older teenage boy- was obviously not amused. His expression was very similar to the expression of the milk lady, dull and obviously stuck up in themselves yet also threatening. Looking like at any moment he would pounce.
“I mean isn’t like laughter the best medicine? So what’s so bad about being funny?” Mikey shuffled in his uncomfortable position. Hoping that for some reason his struggle would release him from the figurative and literal chains of this moment. But that only made the tight literal chains more and more unbearable as blisters formed. He needed to get out of here.
His thoughts were interrupted when on of the other figures delivered a sharp blow to his stomach causing him to double over. At least as much as his restraints allowed. It felt like his guts were flipped inside out and then hit with a speeding highway vehicle. The older teen then waltzed over as Mikey groaned and gagged. He yanked Mikey’s chin up firmly only letting the turtle look at him and him alone. His face was scrunched up in pure hate and disgust the turtle.
“Now you listen to me smartass. I-”
“Enough!”
Towards Mikey’s right a fourth figure leapt in through a broken window. At closer glance Mikey found that they were a she. Her raven black hair shone in the moonlight with white streaks with repelled the light. She stood tall with authority and grace. The other 2 guards addressed her by bowing.
“Lieutenant, what did I say about beating the target?”
The Lieutenant growled before shoving Mikey’s face down and turning to face the girl. “Come on he was being a brat. Besides aren’t there 3 oth-”
“What did I say?” Raising her voice made even the Lieutenant flinch. Mikey could tell she was definitely the boss here(definitely super badass). The Lieutenant glared at Mikey, as if he had intentionally caused this, before turning and bowing. “Not to. You told me not to beat the freak. I apologize General.”
He recognized her voice from somewhere. He realized where when she set her backpack on the table.
“Hey aren’t you Aprils new friend?! What was your name? Oroku something? What the heck Oroku?!”
She was definitely pissed now but she kept her dull tone and hid her annoyance. “First of all it’s Oroku Karai. Second of all it’s Japanese so the last name is said first. And third of all if you know what’s best for you than you will keep your mouth shut.”
Mikey decided that he would do just that. Karai was definitely not someone to be messed with. At least she won’t let them hit me anymore.
“And as for you Lieutenant” Karai turned and marched in front of him and the Mikey’s other captors. “Yes we do need his three accomplices thanks to your incompetent job on the initial attack. But how do you expect us to find them if they’re aware of our initiatives?”
Mikey sat there not liking the sound of how this was going. His head still swam and left his thoughts loosely floating in a sea of confusion. Accomplices?
Karai was obviously growing impatient by the silence. Another thing he noticed was that she never really looked at him. And when she did and Mikey noticed, it was never for more than a second.
“I spoke with Master Shredder. He said that to draw them out we must use something that they want.”
Mikey could hardly keep in the shock of his realization. They aren’t talking about my brothers, are they?
“Well what do they want?” The Lieutenant was obviously not as smart as his leader.
“From my understanding they call each other brothers.” Shit. She really was just a toxic snake wasn’t she. And she was good too. But for some reason her expression broke into something softer. Something filled with guilt and pain.
The Lieutenant however hadn’t given Mikey the mercy of guilt. His face twisted into a cruel smirk as he turned to face Mikey’s fear filled face. No no no no no no. This can’t be happening.
“Then lets test that brotherly loyalty.” The Lieutenant continued staring with a sickening smile that put gasoline on Mikey’s fire of fear. “When do we leave to get their attention?”
“Troops were already sent this afternoon.” Karai continued with a full expression on her face. “They’ll bring back the targets when their job is finished.”
No no no no no no no.
“Now if you excuse me I have . . . business to attend to.” She marched out from the warehouse arms plastered behind her back. Once she left the Lieutenant slip back into his freedom without Karai overhead.
Mikey was stuck in the shock his captors cruel plan. Leo Raph Donnie. Please.
He hung his head low in defeat knowing that soon his brothers would have to go through the same pain he did.
Please be ok.
Finally back to this au. Have a Hoppy Easter and Cowabunga turtle fans.
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feeling so anxious because the boys will be on a break until may 27th (I may be wrong, sorry) and I cannot handle this circus for that long. my issue is not that Matty is in a relationship. it's honestly the fans (not people here). I can't open Twitter/TikTok/Instagram and even Tumblr (which used to be my little safe space) without seeing something upsetting... I really don't know what to do because whenever I'm stressed, the 1975 are my escape and now that they are the source of my anxiety I'm a bit lost. I'm sorry & I swear it's not me being anti Taylor+Matty. I don't care who Matty is dating as long as he and his partners are happy. it's just this whole circus really. I know it sounds horrible and selfish but sometimes I wish we could just gatekeep the boys and protect them from the mainstream media/audience
Yeah in between getting the notification of this message and going to open it/ respond I just scrolled past 3 tiktok videos hating on Matty. So I know what you mean. I just want people to SHUT THE FUCK UP CUZ HE IS NOT ALL THOSE THINGS THEY CLAIM HE IS.
it’s gonna be okay though. Not for a bit cuz if he’s still in Nashville the rumors are gonna keep warping and mutating and getting strange and all that. But the frenzy will die down eventually. This shit always happens. It’s like there’s a Matty Healy hate cycle that repeats itself every 18 months or something. Every once in a while, the internet goes on a crusade against him. Poor Matty. Must be exhausting to be a weirdly chosen public enemy. But, hey, the cycle shows us we always get the quiet after the insanity dies down. It’s coming. We just gotta brace ourselves.
In the meantime, forget about the rest of the internet. Let’s make this page a safe place.
Drop suggestions of things to talk about. Y’all wanna do concepts again? Maybe no angst for a bit though hahaha? Or we you rather discuss other things? Or maybe other 1975-related subjects. Yeah let’s do what my mom would call a “re-energetizing” sounds weird and culty or MLM-ish but yeah.
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pspspsp can I just request an immortal reader who's life is just dull/sad as hell since they've seen their loved ones leave or die in front of them so many times
but when they meet SBI or anyone, their life just suddenly brightens up? (Platonic and it can be any type of fic!)
(A/N): I got waaaayy too carried away with this. Star god reader my beloved (also, I’d imagine that your cloak looks like this guy’s but on the inside with the outsides being any color of your choice (credit goes to original artist))
If you want more god!reader content with the dream smp, @wooloo-inc has a really good series about a male!nature god!reader (aka, the god of dilf collection)
In the beginning when DreamXD created you (which if you think about it, that makes him your father, but I digress) from stardust and meteorite shards, you were a ball of fun loving sunshine (well, starshine?)
You loved watching over all of humankind, admiring their determination and bonds with other humans (both romantic and platonic)
Your older brother, the god of the moon, told you about how they viewed you and you were amazed
“Oberon?” You ran up to your older brother and tugged on his cloak making him hum in question, not looking up from his parchment scroll. “What- what do the humans think of me?”
He scoffed and glanced at you with his lily white irises, “why are you on about them again? They are lowly creatures compared to us, filled with greed and misfortune.”
“They worship us and that’s how you speak of them?”
“(Y/n) believe me, you have not seen the brutality they are capable of. War, famine, greed, plague, genocide, it’s all something you have not witnessed before. You have only seen the good in those things.” 
“But Oberon, I wanna-” he lightly smacked the side of your head, “use proper English. We are gods and you will behave as such.”
You huffed, “I want to know about how they view us! I do not care about the bad things they have done! Plleeeaaassseeeeeee Beri?” You willed the stars that constantly gleamed in your eyes to shine brighter as you fluttered your eyelashes at him. He may seem like he hated everyone and everything (especially his siblings), but he had a soft spot for his youngest sibling. He just stared at you for a bit before he sighed and shifted in the massive throne so that you could hop up onto his lap. With a wave of a slender pale hand, he conjured up various images of humans with stardust gazing at the stars and the moon with carefree swipes of his hand. 
“They view us as… poetic of sorts. They compare us to romance,” an image of two human males kissing then gazing into the stars laying down on a cliff came into view, “fortune tellers,” an image of the Aquarius and the Capricorn constellations popped up making you squeal in happiness. He chucked and changed the picture to a mother and son standing over a grave looking up in amazement at a shooting star, “and most importantly, as a sign of hope. 
“They see us as complementary, the moon and the stars cannot be as beautiful without the other. We hold the power of the night and everything it touches, (y/n). This is our kingdom, do not forget that,” the image changed to the moon surrounded by stars and swirling blues and purples of nebulas.
You looked at the images with awe, absorbing every word that fell from his mouth. “Beri?” He once again hummed, his deep baritone voice sending vibrations along your back. “Will we be together forever?”
His lanky arms wrapped around your much smaller frame, “for all of eternity. The moon is nothing without the night sky and all of the stars it holds.”
Centuries passed and your fascination with humans only grew from there
When you eventually asked if you could meet a human Oberon reacted angrily and forbade you from speaking of humans again in your shared palace, worried for your safety
When he caught you attempting to sneak out, he locked you in your room for months on end
Humans wondered why the stars hardly appeared in the night sky anymore, forming the theory that they had somehow angered you
They prayed to you more and more, begging and groveling for forgiveness
They left more offerings at shrines
You heard their every word, feeling your heartbreak with sorrow and guilt for your lovely humans
You snuck out of the palace that night determined to make it up to the humans
You quietly snuck past the main room where you and Oberon used to sit on your thrones together and control the night. The large doors were cracked open showing your older brother watching the night with boredom. As you passed, his voice startled you, “I just cannot stop you can I?”
He appeared in the doorframe looking at you emotionlessly, his eyes glinting with hidden pain. “Do you realize how cruel of a place that world is? How cruel humans are?”
“I do not care, brother! They are in anguish because they think I am angry with them! Because you locked me in here!”
“I have told you time and time again, they are ruthless creatures. Humans are constantly clashing with their own kind for the slightest bit of power, they’re greedy creatures! Have you forgotten what happened to Arachnia?”
A shiver went down your spine at the mention of your fellow deity. She wanted to be with humans but they stripped her of her grace and virtuosity, torturing her when the moon would rise. That is the reason spiders attack humans in the night when the moon and stars show themselves and are dormant in the daytime. However, that did not deter you. 
“I have not forgotten what happened to Arachnia, her tale fills me with grief. But not all humans are like that! They are compassionate, loving, and sweet creatures deep down, each and every single one of them!”
“They were not showing compassion or love when they tore Arachnia limb from limb! When they languish in riches while millions die around them! What part of that is compassionate?”
“Sure they do bad things sometimes, but have you forgotten the love they hold for each other? The determination and hope shining from within them when they pray to us? Have you forgotten that?”
“THEIR ACTIONS ARE NOT JUSTIFIED IN ANY WAY!”
“AND OURS ARE? YOU ARE BLIND, OBERON. HAVE YOU FORGOTTEN THE CRUELTY THE GODS HAVE SUBJECTED HUMANS TO? WHEN OUR FATHER TOOK YEARS AWAY FROM THEIR LIFESPANS SOLELY BECAUSE THEY STOPPED WORSHIPPING HIM AS OFTEN AS THEY USED TO? WHAT PART OF THAT IS JUSTIFIED?” 
He just stared at you with angry irises and his chest heaving before he ran a hand through his long ivory hair and turned around, the flowing white cape flowing wildly behind him with unseen air. He walked back into the observation room and back to his throne. Without a second glance to you, he worked on the transition of power between the sun and moon. You could imagine your sister Aelia grinning brightly as she rose the sun for the day.
“You are to never return here if you step foot out that door. You will still have control of your duties of the night. However you will never return. Do not come back groveling for forgiveness when I have given you constant warnings of their cruelty. If I see your face show up here, I will make sure father smites you down. Now get out of my sight.”
You huffed and whipped around to the front entrance, the stars that constantly twinkled and the nebulas that constantly swirled in the inside of your cloak illuminating the white floors below you as you ran. You left the palace without a second thought, leaving your old life behind in favor of spending it with the humans.
When you came crashing to the Earth in a shooting star, you were amazed by the beauty of it up close and in person
It was everything you expected and then some
You heard the humans cheering and thanking you in their prayers when the stars returned brighter than usual
You being completely enamoured by all of the humans, even if they recognized you or not you loved them all unconditionally
You set up a little cottage in the tundra where you could see the night sky clearly with the occasional aurora borealis 
From the roof, you controlled the stars
The tales of you defecting from the heavens was a popular one, and you became somewhat of a symbol of the hope that humanity should hold for themselves and compassion
Occasionally sending shooting stars over humans you knew were stargazing
You have met many lovers, friends, and even your own adopted kids over the next millenia, all of them accepting your immortality and everlasting duties
But it’s all the same in the end: they come, they leave, and they die
With each death of your loved ones, you could feel your will to keep going dissipate
The stars grew dimmer gradually in the night sky
The humans gradually stopped worshipping you as you disappeared from the night skies
You became a distant memory for elders to tell children 
Disappearing from the face of the Earth for a few centuries when you could not take the constant deaths any longer
Nobody knew where your cabin laid so you were undisturbed for centuries on end, left to your grief
That was until a knock sounded at your door
The knock startled you out of the comfort of your bed. Reluctantly, you left the warmth of the multitude of blankets and donned your cloak to hide your unkempt appearance. When you passed the mirror hanging in the hallway, you could see that your face was shrouded by darkness with the exception of a single glint where your eyes were caused by the lone star that was a constant reminder of your position. Before you fell into a deep depression, the stars would illuminate your entire face if you put your hood up. 
You opened the front door without a care in the world. If the beings on the other side were humans that would take you away and torture you, you didn’t care. You’re long past the point of caring for your own well being.
On the other side was a man of average height and long shaggy blond hair pulled into a slick ponytail. He was dressed entirely in green with a green and white striped bucket hat placed on his head. Past you would’ve been cooing at the object, but now you dully looked at the man in front of you. You glanced behind him and your eyes widened at the huge black wings sprouting from his back. You know who he was the second your eye caught the black feathers; he was the Angel of Death.
“Hello, Angel of Death.”
He tried to peer into your shrouded features, only seeing two pinpricks of light where your eyes should be. He gave you a friendly smile, brushing off the snow that gathered on his shoulders. “(Y/n), the God of the Stars and the Night Sky. Giver of compassion to the human race, it’s an honor to meet you.”
“Why are you here? Last time I checked, my last lover died centuries ago.”
“Yes, my condolences. They were lovely when I guided their soul to the afterlife.”
“You still have not answered my question, Angel of Death. Why are you here?” You grit out the last sentence through a clenched jaw. He has no right to talk about them when he assisted in taking them away from you. Him and your cousin, the Goddess of Death Kristin. They took everybody you loved away from you. You knew that their deaths were unavoidable since they were human and you were immortal, but you still couldn’t help but resent them.
“The Goddess of Death sent me. The God of the Moon and the Goddess of the Sun sent her a request to send me to check on you.”
You stared at him for a few moments before you saw him shivering slightly and sighed. You always had a soft spot for humans, even if the being in front of you was not a human in the slightest. He reminded you of an old friend. You stepped aside and gestured lazily inside the house, “come in.”
He started to visit more and more over the next century
He eventually befriended you about half a century into the visits
It was extremely difficult to do because of how guarded you were, but he managed to break you out of your shell
You realizing how kind he was and how much he cared for you
You quickly came to the realization that he was immortal as well after reading up on the Angel of Death
After another fifty years, he became your best friend
You both opened up and comforted each other about everybody you both lost over the years
When he adopted Technoblade and then Wilbur not long after Techno, you were extremely hesitant to get close to them
Even going as far as telling Philza that you thought that it was an extremely bad idea
Mortals always end up leaving in the end anyways, it’s best to avoid the endless cycle of hurt that came with having mortals around
You told him about your own adopted children that have died over the years
You refuse to meet them, cutting off all communication with Philza for a year or two
Eventually meeting his three adopted kids when you reluctantly accept a dinner invitation one day
You attempted to appear cold and uncaring, but your love for humans (especially baby humans) shone through when an infant Tommy started to play with your cape
It seemed that the stars and the moving nebulas within the fabric entranced him
From then on whenever you visited Philza, you always held Tommy until he was too old for you to do so
Becoming very attached to the blond with your strong innate parental instincts
You introduce Techno to mythology, sharing stories of your personal interactions with certain gods and entities throughout the years
You teach Techno how to cope with the voices as you constantly hear multiple prayers to you from humans at the same time
You arrange a meeting for Wilbur with the Goddess of Music when he asks you about her
Arranging for her to start giving him lessons in exchange of a favor that will be cashed at a later date
You help raise all three of them, often taking them off Philza’s hands for a night or two 
Their favorite activity with you is watching you raise the stars and turn the sky dark
They always loved to watch you move the stars and summon shooting stars for them
The stars gradually returned to your eyes and a constant ecstatic smile slowly became synonymous with your face again
Humans started to worship you again when the stars in the sky became brighter
You became your old self again after centuries of feeling lost 
To repay them for everything they’ve done for you, you decided to rearrange the stars for one night 
One night of having a different star pattern couldn’t hurt 
Sure, it’d make a few theories pop up among the humans, but those are fun to overhear sometimes
The young boys and Philza behind you watched in awe as your eyes started to glow brightly and you slowly moved your hands gracefully raising the stars with the moon, your cloak starting to flow with nonexistent winds. They’ve seen you raise the stars thousands of times, but it never ceases to amaze them. It was just so… entrancing. 
You broke into a slight sweat and started to move the stars from their original positions in the sky. Shaking slightly, you pushed back against the strain and slight pain that it brought you. You’ve never done this before, so you really didn’t know what you were expecting. You felt someone put a hand on your shoulder.
“What’re you doin, mate?”
“Uh Dad?”
“Not now Techno. Mate, are you alright?”
“Dad, look up. They’re rearranging the stars,” Wilbur breathed out.
You could hear Philza gasp slightly as he watched star after star move until they locked into place. There in the twinkling night sky was each of their names gleaming brightly in small lettering. When you were done, you fell into a kneel onto the ground and rubbed at your aching head panting lightly. 
You could hear the boys around you panic slightly as you regained your breath. As you heard them approach you you looked up at them and smiled, the stars gleaming brightly in your irises. “Do you like it?”
“Y-yes but gods, (y/n) are you alright?”
“I am fine, but stars, I have never done that before. Are you four ready for stargazing?”
“That was so pog, (y/n)! How’d you do that?”
“I hold the power of the stars and the night sky in my hands. My brother once told me that the night is our kingdom.” You laid down onto the grass and took off your cloak to cover up a shivering Tommy and Wilbur next to you. You sighed as you thought about your siblings; you wondered how they were doing. 
“I will gladly move the stars themselves for you four. You are my family.” There was a stretched out moment of comfortable silence as you five watched shooting stars blaze by. Eventually, you saw an aurora borealis materialize above you. Furrowing your brow, you looked at it in question. They don’t appear this time of year, so why-
“Aelia,” you breathed out as you watched the greens flow above you. She must’ve sent a gust of solar wind your way. 
“Isn’t Aelia the Goddess of the Sun?” Wilbur asked you.
“Yes, she is my oldest sister. She must have redirected the solar winds over here.” 
“Damn, what’s with the gods changing everything tonight? You guys need to fuckin chill.”
“Tommy!” Philza scolded and was about to continue before he heard you start to laugh. They’ve only heard you genuinely laugh only a couple of times, so the sound that left your mouth immediately brightened the mood. 
“Yes Tommy, I suppose we do need to ‘fucking chill’.”
“You swore! Fuckin pog,” Tommy cheered to himself as the others looked at you in slight shock at your words. If you’re being completely honest in all of the years you spent alive (which is since basically the beginning of time), you’ve never sworn once. You were raised differently than that. When you realized that the others were staring at you, you smirked at them. The stars twinkling and giving your eyes even more of a mischievous glint, “what? Have you never heard a god swear before?”
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drakenology · 3 years
Text
Arguments - feat Bakugo, Todoroki, Kirishima and Tamaki Amajiki
author’s note: i’m feeling angsty today. so this is gonna be about arguing with some of the bnha characters. anyone else feel off today? just me?
warnings: swearing, angst, fluff 🥺, and suggestive themes not full on smut. characters aged up! some of these are long.. i was feeling dramatic
headers from @annicon
Bakugo
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as much as i love this man i can admit he would be SOO stubborn
would get frustrated easily
yells 🥺
he knows when to walk away when the conversation isn’t getting anywhere which is good
would NEVER hurt you (i’ve seen ppl write that this mf hits you... girl...domestic violence is not an aesthetic.)
he isn’t the best with words so it’ll take him a little while to admit he’s wrong because he can’t verbalize how sorry he is sometimes
when he does he’ll hug and kiss you and apologize like a million times after he’s done being a stubborn little prick.
gives you the best “i’m sorry “ dick imaginable holy shit
Bakugo done did it. He pissed you off. You were already having a terrible day and then you come home to this motherfucker with a bunch of people over after you told him that you weren’t in the mood for company. So for the rest of the night when everyone left, you gave him the silent treatment knowing that he HATES when you ignore him on purpose.
“Y/N?”
You say nothing, continuing scrolling through your phone to look like you were preoccupied.
“Y/N, what’s your problem? I know you hear me.” Bakugo persists.
You ignore him, turning your back to face him. He grunts and grabs your shoulder, turning you back around to face him.
“Y/N if you’re pissed at me just say that. But ignoring me is fucking immature and it’s pissing me off!” He yells. Translation: “What did I do? 🥺”
“I’M pissing YOU off!? That’s funny. Because it’s not like you didn’t completely ignore my fucking feelings tonight. Why did you invite Kirishima and Denki over after I specifically said I didn’t feel like playing fucking HOSTESS!” You shout back, throwing your phone somewhere.
“Are you serious!? I never told them to come here they just showed up. What was I supposed to do tell them to piss off!?” Katsuki asked.
“YES!” You scream, annoyed that he’s not getting the reason why you’re upset. You never minded having Bakugo’s friends over but you just wanted to have a calm night with just the two of you. You were exhausted and fixing dinner for you and 3 other people and listening to loud chatter about sports and video games was not on your to-do list.
“This is so fucking petty! I don’t get why you’re so mad that they came over.” Katsuki said shrugging his shoulders.
“That’s the problem, idiot! You don’t fucking get it! I worked all day today. I just wanted us to relax but no, you wanted to have a fucking guys night in my living room! It’s the complete disregard for my feelings that’s pissing me off not the fact that they came. I told you I was tired and you having them come over anyways was like a big fuck you to me!” You explain, your face pulled into a face Katsuki knows is your angry face. Bakugo sighs, not ready to admit that he was wrong.
“Tch. Whatever. I’m gonna go sleep on the fucking couch. Let me know when you’re done being fucking frigid.” He shouts, clearly out of anger.
“Fine.”
“Fine!”
Katsuki leaves your shared room and slammed the door, you throwing yourself onto the bed. You feel tears sting your eyes as you sob into your pillow. You hated fighting with Bakugo, and you knew he hated it too. He has a hard time expressing himself without getting defensive sometimes. But you knew he felt bad. You sigh and close your eyes and go to sleep.
The next morning you get up from bed and get ready to start your day. You shower and brush your teeth, you and Bakugo strategically avoiding each other all morning to go and do your daily routines. You didn’t utter a word to each other. Just questions and short answers.
“Got work?”
“Yup.”
“When?”
“7:30.”
The silence killed you both as you sat at the table and ate breakfast, Bakugo’s face pulled into a frown as he ate. You roll your eyes and go to put your dishes in the sink and grab his once he’s done. You can hear him get up from his chair as you wash both your plates and dry them. You had assumed he was leaving so you just wash all the rest of the dishes without turning your back. Suddenly you felt familiar arms wrap around your waist.
“Let me go.” You say, tearing up at the sudden touch. He was trying to make up with you and you were so ready to forgive him. The tension was almost too much to bear. This fight was small and it turned into something way bigger than need be.
“Not until you listen to me. I’m sorry, ok? I should have never yelled at you the way I did. And calling you frigid wasn’t ok either. I shoulda just told everyone to go home. We have those dumbasses over all the time. One night wouldn’t have killed me. I’m sorry. Can we just forget this shit ever happened? I hate it when you’re mad at me.” He pleaded, burrowing his face into the crook of your neck. You smile and turn around to look at his face, cupping his cheeks in both your hands as you stand on you tip toes to kiss him. He kisses you back eagerly, happy that you and him are back on good terms. He pulled away from the heated kiss and looks at the clock on the microwave.
“6:30...we still have an hour to kill. If you’re late I’ll drop you off.” Katsuki says, his eyes turning dark with feral lust.
“Late? What are yo-“ you’re interrupted by Bakugo pulling you into your bedroom with determination to make things right.. his way.
Tamaki (🥺 my new found love)
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Tamaki is NOT a confrontational person so arguing with you is really hard. He hates raising his voice or even getting to a point to where he’s angry because he doesn’t want to think about hurting you in anyway.
He’ll shut down and turn cold or try and act nonchalant.
he might even avoid conflict by changing the subject
if he’s riled up enough though he’ll cuss you out.. to his dismay
doesn’t like being mad at you and vice versa
hates arguments.. like honestly can you just get over it so he can eat you out now?
speaking of eating you out, he gives apology head and he won’t stop until you say you forgive him.
Tamaki didn’t like to admit it but he was really jealous. Like really really jealous like YANDERE type jealous. You and him were out to dinner with Mirio so you were all chatting about mindless nothing, catching up like you always do. Nothing seemed to be out of the ordinary for you but to Tamaki it appeared that Mirio was a little too playful at dinner with you. He was cracking jokes and poking fun and Tamaki took it as him flirting with you; which Mirio would never disrespect your relationship like that. Rage sat in the pit of Tamaki’s chest as you laugh at all his jokes. He was furious but hid it pretty well for the night.
“And then Tamaki wet himself in front of the whole class when I scared him with my quirk in middle school. Can you believe it?” Mirio laughs, causing you to laugh at the thought.
“Oh leave him alone, Togata.” You giggle, waving your hand in front of your face to stop the tears from laughter. He had been making you laugh all night all to Tamaki’s disliking. He was quiet all dinner, which you noticed immediately after Togata’s last joke.
“Hey Tamaki, is everything ok?” You ask, concerned that he might not want to be out anymore.
“Yeah.” He said coldly. “Actually I’m just gonna go to the car. I feel kinda sick.” He stands from his seat and walks to the exit, absolutely fucking furious that you were “flirting” with his childhood friend right in front of him.
“Awkward. What’s up with him?” Mirio asks, completely dumb founded by Tamaki’s sudden disappearance.
“I dunno. I’m gonna go to the car and see what’s wrong. Do you mind?” You ask, standing from your seat.
“Nah that’s cool. I’m actually gonna head out. You go on ahead, Y/N. I’ll take care of the tab.. this time.” Mirio jokes. You giggle and thank him, walking towards the exit. You walk through the parking lot and find the car, seeing Tamaki sitting in the passenger side with his arms crossed across his chest. What was his deal? You open the car door and sit in the driver’s side to meet a thick tension.
“What’s wrong Tamaki? Do you really feel sick or are you upset with me?” You ask.
“Why don’t you ask Mirio? I’m sure he’ll be able to answer since he’s the only guy you talked to all night. It was like I wasn’t even there.” Tamaki says, calm but obviously pestered.
“Is that was this is about? Tama you know it wasn’t like that. Mirio has always been a jokester what’s the difference now?” You ask, getting a little upset at his accusation.
“The difference is that he was trying to make a pass at you. He was so obviously flirting with you.” He says, his tone becoming stern. You’re shocked at how he was getting, frowning at how unreasonable he was being.
“No he wasn’t, Tamaki.” You say, looking him dead in his eyes.
“Yes he was. I’m not about to fight with you about this he was clearly fucking flirting with you. He joked with you all night and you laughed at every single thing he said. You must want to fuck him, don’t you?” He asked, looking at you with some sort of betrayal in his eyes. This infuriates you.
“What are you talking about!? You know I would never cheat on you Tamaki. Especially not with your best friend. What’s with you!?” You ask sternly, not amused or pleased in the slightest.
“Whatever, Y/N.” Tamaki says, looking out the car window while turning the other way so he’s not facing your side of the car. He knew this was stupid and he knew your loyalty was never to be questioned but he couldn’t shake this feeling of jealousy.
“No. You don’t get to start a fight and then blow me off when you’re through arguing! Talk to me!” You yell, furious at this point. Tamaki shrugs, avoiding the situation entirely now.
“Just drive. I wanna go home.” He says, not taking his eyes off the view from his window. You roll your eyes and start the car, pulling out of the parking lot to start your way home. The drive home was so quiet you could hear a pin drop. You were so angry that you didn’t talk to Tamaki the whole way home, knowing you’d probably cuss him out if he said the wrong thing. Tamaki immediately felt bad after picking that fight. He didn’t know what came over him, he knew he had to make it up to you before you two go to bed angry with each other. You approach your shared apartment and park the car, silence still riddling the car. The tension between you both was intense and it scared you. You’ve never seen Tamaki this upset. Jealousy was always an issue for him but he’s never reacted this strongly.
“Y/N?” Tamaki says breaking the silence. You look at him, a little relieved that he’s talking to you again.
“I-I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have said that to you. I know you’d never cheat on me, of course. But I was just so jealous. It felt like you and Mirio were on a date and I was just the third wheel. The thought of him taking you from me drove me crazy. I wasn’t thinking. Can you forgive me?” He says, placing his hand on top of yours on the steering wheel. You sniffle, tearing up at his apology.
“Tamaki, I’m sorry I made you feel like that. I love you so much. No one could ever take your place, not even Mirio. I’d never betray you like that, ever.” You sob, tears flowing down your face. Tamaki questioning your loyalty really hurt your feelings and he hated seeing you cry.
“I know that. Please don’t cry. I’m so sorry, Y/N. It was so stupid of me to even assume.” He says, taking his hand and wiping your tears away. He took your hand and gave it a sweet kiss to soothe you, rubbing circles with his thumb on it as he consoled you. You giggle and wipe your tears, happy that you guys made up after that silly fight.
“Let’s go inside.”
Todoroki
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arguments between you two get heated. It gets to a point where sometimes you don’t speak to each other for days. he’ll definitely give small reminders that he still loves you to butter you up to alleviate some of the tension.
raises his voice
just as stubborn as bakugo
to a fault of his upbringing facing his emotions was hard for him sometimes, causing him to be cold when you fight
when it’s time to get over it and make up he’ll make it a huge event; flowers, chocolates and lots of freaky apology sex
cant stand arguing with you just like tamaki but wont back down in the slightest
is sure he doesn’t say anything harsh to make the situation worse.
“Why are you being so stubborn?!” You shout at your bi-colored haired boyfriend. The two of you have been fighting all day to your surprise. Shoto was usually easy going and you two hardly fought. But today, a bug seemed to have crawled up Todoroki’s ass and he’s been picking fights all day. You’ve been arguing about small things like who left the bathroom light on or who ate the last hot pocket. Right now it was an argument about when you’re going to meet his father Endeavor. It’s been almost a year since you two have been together and you don’t even think his father knows you exist.
“For the last time Y/N we’re not going to my dad’s house. That’s final! You can argue with yourself about this. End of discussion.” Shoto says, very annoyed at the thought of being near his father. He still couldn’t stand him, even as an adult. He can’t bring himself to bring you around him because he knows how he can be. If he even says something slightly rude to you he’ll flip the fuck out. You groan in frustration, wishing he’d at least consider.
“He doesn’t know we’re together does he!? What am I to you some secret? Why did you stay with me all this time if your family doesn’t even know I exist !?” You shout, tearing up with seering anger.
“It’s not that. Of course he knows we’re together; my whole family knows! Why do you want to involve him so badly?!” Shoto yells.
“Why wouldn’t I want to meet my fucking boyfriend’s father!? You’re not making any sense.” You say, getting more and more frustrated as Shoto makes excuses.
“You know what? Fine. We’ll go meet him tomorrow. But as soon as he treats you like you’re not good enough for me don’t be surprised when I tell you I fucking told you so. God you can be so stubborn sometimes.” Shoto shouts, rolling his eyes at you.
“Oh I’M stubborn!? That’s rich coming from you. You’re being so unreasonable right now. I know you and your father-“
“YOU DONT KNOW SHIT ABOUT MY FATHER. Stop speaking on things you haven’t the first idea about!” Shoto yells, punching a nearby wall. (Oop.) You flinch, shocked at how angry he got so quickly. You tear up and run off to your bedroom, Todoroki immediately regretting getting so upset with you. He scared you and that’s something he never wanted to do to you under any circumstances. You cried yourself to sleep that night, angry that things got so heated. Why did he react like that? And why was he treating you as if you knew nothing about him and his father. He would vent to you about him all the time and you gave him advice when you could. But tonight you felt like you were nothing but an outsider. Shoto didn’t even bother coming into the room. He couldn’t face you after making you cry. Right now, he hated himself for treating you like that. He was just so afraid of his father’s judgement he didn’t want him to hurt your feelings with how crass he was. If Endeavor found the slightest thing wrong with you he’d never let you or him forget it. He could hear him now calling you unworthy of the Todoroki name. The thought alone enraged him. In his own cryptic way, he was trying to protect you from him but this was no way to do it nor did he have the right. Todoroki slept on the couch, missing your warmth against him in your bed.
The next morning the two of you drove to the Todoroki estates in silence. You were still pissed at him and Shoto didn’t want to say anything to further upset you. He was annoyed he was making this trip in the first place but he knew he had to man up for your sake. It was unfair of him to try and keep you away from his family especially since you would one day take on his name and be a part of the family when he married you. He knew he couldn’t keep you away forever, but god couldn’t he have had a little more time? He dreaded this day.
“Ready?” Shoto asks coldly, trying to hide his remorse from his tone. You nod, getting out of the car before he could walk over and open the door for you. Shoto is surprised and gets out with you, guiding you to his old home. He can’t lie, he’s so fucking nervous. What if he hates you? Not that he cares what he thinks, he’ll marry you anyway but still. He at least wants his blessing. You walk with Shoto to the main room of the home and wait for Endeavor to come downstairs. Suddenly you hear footsteps from across the room. It was him. He was tall and his aura was so dark and intimidating.
“You must be Y/N.” Endeavor says, looking down at your small frame. You nod, a wave of nervousness shooting through your body.
“N-Nice to meet you sir.” You bow respectfully.
“No need for that. Please, have a seat.” Endeavor says gesturing to the couch. You and Shoto sit down next to each other, Endeavor following suit by sitting across from you two.
“So.. how long have you two been together?” Endeavor asks, his booming voice almost sending an echo throughout the empty room. You gulp and look towards Shoto.
“10 months.” He answers for you, taking your hand to calm you. You’re still mad at him but god you’re glad he’s doing his best to ease your anxiety.
“And you just now arrange a meeting? Hm.” Endeavor questions, looking at you as if he was scanning you to find something irredeemable about you. You look down at your lap, unable to keep eye contact with the intimidating man.
“I-I wanted to meet with you sooner. Me and Shoto fought about coming here last night but I convinced him.” You say nervously.
“I see. You seem like an ok girl. Shoto has had his fair share of.. inadequate women in his life so, you’re a step up from the rest.” Endeavor says, motioning for a maid to make you all some tea. You laugh nervously, Shoto squeezing your hand in annoyance. Was that a compliment?
“You two seem like you’ve been fighting.” Endeavor says suddenly, observing both your body language. You’re both shocked as you turn to look at each other. How’d he know that?
“What’s it to you?” Shoto asks, glaring at his father.
“Oh nothing. But if you’re planning on marrying this girl it’s probably best to not argue too much with her. Hell, she might up and leave.”
Shoto looks at you, pain in his eyes. The look on his face alone said “I’m sorry.” Shoto hated to admit it but his father was right. Fighting as much as you have been, especially the fight you had last night was toxic and could take a toll on your relationship.
You smile at him and turn to Endeavor
“I’d never leave him.” You say, snuggling closer to Shoto as he blushed. He was embarrassed that he was being so vulnerable around his father but he knew that only you could make this happen.
After a long conversation with Endeavor and Shoto, you leave with a feeling that you might have won him over. You think? He was hard to read, just like Shoto. He was more like his father than he likes to admit. Shoto opens the car door for you to get inside and then walks to the drivers side to come in. You sit in the car for a while, silent until Shoto grabs you and leans over to kiss you. You kiss him back, tearing up into the kiss.
“I’m sorry, snowflake. I can’t believe I raised my voice at you like that. I was just so scared that he was gonna hate you and say something disrespectful. I should have just told you that instead of being defensive. I’m so so sorry I scared you. Please forgive me. ” He pleaded, peppering kissing on your face.
“I know. And I forgive you.” You giggle, pulling Todoroki closer to you to kiss him again.
Kirishima
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Out of all the boys he’s the least stubborn when it comes to fighting. But don’t be fooled, he’ll argue you down. he’s very good at managing his temper when it comes to you.
Regrets starting a fight in the first place
Just wants to cuddle and go back to normal
But when he’s angry hooo boy
doesn’t even yell, he’s like a calm angry which is terrifying
tries talking over you, trying to plead his case
will not rest until the situation is resolved and over with so you guys can move on
like all the others... apology sex
will try not to lose his patience
You and Kirishima had been together for a while now so it was only inevitable that you two have your first fight. You were always a vigilant person and wanted to help others even though you were quirkless like Deku was at one point. Kirishima is protective of you to a fault and the thought of you getting hurt or worse didn’t sit well with him at all. You assured him that you were capable of taking care of yourself and protecting yourself but he wasn’t having any of it. You spent years perfecting your martial arts skills, training your ass off for countless hours everyday and he knew that. But he didn’t want you to one day meet your match without him there to protect you.
“Y/N, drop it. You’re not going on missions with me and that’s final. It’s too dangerous.” Eijiro said, his brows furrowed. He was trying not to lose his patience with you but you kept insisting. He just wished you’d forget about this whole thing; for your safety.
“You don’t have the right to tell me what I can and can’t do! I’m fully capable for taking care of myself and you know that.” You yell, irritated at your boyfriend underestimating your abilities. Eijiro sighs and stands up from the couch to stand in front of you, inching so close you could almost kiss.
“I’ll die before I let you go out there. Do you know what would happen to me; to your friends and family if something happened to you!? We’d be crushed. Please just drop this.” Kirishima says, wanting to avoid this conversation all together. But alas, nothing was changing your mind. You were very head strong and stubborn to no avail so you weren’t going down without a fight.
“You can’t stop me!” You yell
“Oh I can’t?” Eijiro challenged.
“No. You can’t. You can’t treat me like a child, Eijiro.” You say. “How can you say I’m not ready if you don’t give me a chance to prove I am!?”
“Because you just aren’t! Okay!? You say you’re not a child but you’re acting like one and a petulant one at that. Just drop it! God, you can be so stubborn sometimes. Don’t you see I’m just trying to keep you safe!?” Kirishima yells, instantly regretting raising his voice at you and losing his cool. You tear up, furious that he’s treating you like some kid. You grab your stuff and prepare to leave his apartment.
“Where are you going?” Kirishima sighs
“Fuck you, Eijiro.” You say, walking away from him and going outside to cool off. Kirishima tries to grab you before you leave but you snatch your arm away from him and walk outside with a huff and a slam of the door. You wipe your hot tears away and start aimlessly walking down the street to go home. Hell, you don’t even know your way home from Eijiro’s place but you’ll be damned if you go back there. As you walk you see Kirishima’s car pull up to the side of you, driving slowly to keep up with your walking pace.
“Y/N please get in the car.” He says out the car window
“No! I don’t wanna talk to you so just go away!” You yell, continuing to walk as the brisk wind assaults your bare skin. Dammit you forgot your coat.
“Y/N! You’re being ridiculous just please get in the car. You left your jacket; it’s freezing out here!” Eijiro shouts, getting out of the car and grabbing you to pull you inside. You groan, obviously being overpowered by your strong boyfriend. Kirishima slams the door and gets back inside, drives back to his apartment and parks in the driveway. He sighs and leans his head on the steering wheel.
“I’m sorry I got so heated with you. But can you blame me? I’m worried about you. Sure we’ll be on these missions together but what if something happens? What if I’m not there to protect you when something goes wrong? These missions are unpredictable; anything could happen and I’d literally die if even a scratch is put on you.” Eijiro pleads. You start crying, sniffling at his words. He was right to be worried.
“I love you, Eijiro and I appreciate you being so concerned about me. But that doesn’t give you the right to shelter me. You can’t just force me to not follow my dream.” You sob, wiping your tears away. Eijiro grabs your hand and kisses it.
“I know. I just can’t bear the thought of you being hurt. But if this is what you really want, I have no choice but to at least see this through.” Kirishima says, holding your small hand in his two massive ones. You smile, putting your other hand on top of his.
“Thank you. Also, I’m sorry for saying fuck you to you. That was mean.” You say pouting.
“It was. Hurt my feelings.” Eijiro said faking sadness, immediately laughing as he watched your face frown up again at the thought of hurting his feelings.
“Oh shut up.”
2K notes · View notes
wazzupmrstark · 3 years
Text
instead of you [part sixteen]
pairing: [best friend’s brother] tom holland x college!reader
summary: you didn’t expect to spend your summer pretending to be your best friend’s girlfriend- then again, you didn’t expect to fall for your best friend’s brother, either.
warnings: swearing, mentions of alcohol, smut (18+) additional warnings under the cut
word count: 3.1k
series masterlist
smut warnings: female masturbation, porn, mentions of choking
“‘We’? Like, you and me?” you clarified, hoping you had misunderstood.
“Yeah, it’ll only take a second,” Tom assured you.
You looked to Sam for help, but he looked just as lost as you were. “I’ll go try and find a microwave to heat up your leftovers,” he offered and took the container back from you. “I’ll be right back, babe.”
“Okay...”
You watched him shrug past both you and Tom and then disappear into the hallway with a sinking feeling in your chest, knowing he trusted you completely. He had no reason not to, and that’s what consumed you. 
“What do you want?” you muttered, reluctantly stepping to the side to let Tom in. 
He didn’t answer right away, giving you a moment to collect yourself. His eyes followed you around the room as you found your pants and tugged them on. He averted his gaze when he realized you were getting dressed mumbling a “sorry” as he trained his eyes on the carpet. 
You sat on the edge of the bed and looked at him expectantly, waiting for him to explain why he was there. 
“You weren’t there today,” was all he said. 
You blinked. “Yeah?”
“Was it because of me?”
“I wasn’t feeling well.”
Tom’s tongue poked at the inside of his cheek. “Is that all?”
“I had a lot to drink last night,” you reminded him. 
“So you don’t remember anything?”
“I never said that.”
“So it was because of me?”
“I never said that either.” You sighed. “If you’re here to ask me if I told him you kissed me, I didn’t. And you could’ve just texted me to ask.”
“No that’s not why- I don’t have your number anyway.”
“I’m in the trip group chat with your family.”
“Oh, right. I’ll save it to my contacts.”
The tension in the room was palpable. It felt like all of the air had been sucked out and replaced with thick, suffocating silence. Arbitrarily, you wondered who the most famous person in his phone was. He was a Marvel actor, he probably had Simu Liu’s number, right? Who would your contact information be sitting in between? Maybe if you ever forgave him for what he did you could ask him. 
“Is something funny?” The firmness of Tom’s voice cut through your train of thought and brought you back to the present. “Why are you smiling?”
“It doesn’t matter,” you said despondently. “Sam’s gonna be back soon. What did you want?”
“I just wanted to check up on you. Sam said you were sick.”
“Oh, so you wanted to see if I was lying?”
“No! God, why is it so hard to believe that I’m genuinely concerned about you?”
“Because last night you only seemed concerned about yourself.”
Tom pursed his lips and shoved his hands in his pockets, expelling a breath harshly. “Okay, I deserved that.”
You hummed in agreement, and let your eyes trail down the veins of his arms to where they disappeared into his pockets. It looked like he was fiddling with a coin or something small, but you couldn’t tell. 
“Are you feeling better?” he said the last part through gritted teeth.
“Yes, thank you. This chat has helped considerably.”
Tom rolled his eyes. “You’re impossible, you know that?”
“Well, lucky for you I’m not your problem to deal with. I'm Sam’s.”
He flexed his hand in his pocket and sighed. “Okay, well, I also wanted to apologize again for...” the word kiss seemed to die on his lips, poetic irony at its finest. “Being a dick.” Less poetic. 
He finally fished his hand out of his pocket, holding a delicate piece of paper between his pointer and index fingers. He shifted uncomfortably where he was leaning against the dresser. “We went to the Academic Gallery today. I saw this in the gift shop and thought of you.” He presented you with what turned out to be a postcard, creased down the middle unevenly and smudged with pen ink.
You turned it over to look at the front first, admiring the artwork printed on it. It was a picture of Michelangelo’s David drawn in swoopy black lines and filled in with watercolor paint. Instead of a museum, the statue was in the middle of a garden, the centerpiece among dozens upon dozens of flowers. 
 “Sorry it’s folded,” he mumbled. “It wouldn’t fit in my pocket.”
You flipped it over to read the back only to see iou scribbled in his handwriting and nothing else. You turned it over again to see if you had missed something on the front, but there was nothing.
You looked up at him in confusion. “Iou?” 
“Yeah, you know... I feel really bad about last night, and I don’t really know how to make it up to you so I’m letting you decide.”
“That’s not really how it works.”
“I think that this counts as an exception, since we’re kind of in uncharted territory.”
“Maybe for you. My boyfriend’s brothers make out with me all the time.”
“Fuck you, I didn’t make out with you- it was barely a peck.”
You narrowed your eyes at him. “It was more than a peck.”
His cheeks were beginning to grow pink with what you couldn’t tell was either embarrassment or frustration. He cleared his throat awkwardly and changed the subject. “Anyway, if you ever need a favor or anything, just let me know. Think of it as me owing you one.”
“And do I have to give back the postcard when I cash in this ‘favor’?” you asked.
“No, you can keep it.”
“Good, because I was going to keep it anyway.”
He chuckled in spite of himself and shook his head. “Knew you’d like it.”
You flattened the card on your lap, smiling as you tried to iron out the little crease with your fingers. 
“It’s pretty, thank you.”
Tom nodded in acknowledgement and straightened his posture. “I should get going. I just wanted to give you that, and see how you were doing since tomorrow’s a travel day and I know you get a little motion sick sometimes. I didn’t want... whatever you’d come down with to make it worse.”
How did he know that? Had Sam told him? You didn’t have time to ask because he was already walking towards the door. He paused when he reached it and turned his head towards you, hand already on the knob. 
“Good night, y/n.”
“Good night, Tom.”
  He opened the door and let himself out into the hallway, catching it suddenly on his foot as he saw Sam coming off the elevator. Tom held the door for Sam, since his hands were full, and then said goodnight to his brother as he finally left.
“Sorry, I couldn’t find the microwave,” he explained. “I had to ask the night manager and they heated it up in the break room for me.”
“Oh, Sam, you didn’t have to do that! I would’ve eaten it cold.”
“I know you would have, and that’s why I’m not letting you.” You gave him a look, which he ignored and handed you the container of food. “It’s carbonara, it’s one of the things Rome is known for. I couldn’t have you eating it lukewarm.” 
“Thank you.”
“You’re welcome.”
He ran a hand through his hair and took a seat next to you on the edge of the bed, pulling the ottoman closer to use it as a makeshift table. He watched as you tried the first bite, gauging your reaction. It was something he did whenever he cooked for you, especially if he was trying out a new recipe. He always needed your approval, and valued it above anybody else’s. But he hadn’t even made this, and as his eyes searched your face you found yourself wondering if they were looking for something else. 
“Do you like it?” 
You breathed a quiet sigh of relief. Your paranoia was starting to get the better of you. “It’s delicious,” you assured him. “I’m sad I missed dinner.”
“I’m sad you missed the whole day. Spending time with my family without you was hell.”
“Oh come on, it’s probably good that you got some real family time.”
“It’s real family time when you’re there. It felt like something was missing.” 
You let a small smile slip past your lips despite the guilt that bubbled under the surface. You pushed it down and took another bite of the carbonara. 
“You’re not just saying that to make me feel better, are you? It can’t have all been bad. Tell me about the good stuff. I wanna hear that.”
Sam nodded and pushed his curls back again, grinning like he’d been caught. “Fine, maybe there were some okay moments.”
“And what were they?”
“We went to the Accademia Gallery today. I think you would have really liked it. They had a whole wing of instruments from some of the most famous inventors and musicians from history. They even had pianos from Bartolomeo Cristorfori, the inventor of the piano.”
“Wow,” you said, impressed. “I bet it was beautiful.”
“Of course if it was played, it wouldn’t sound anything like the piano we’re used to hearing today, but I’m sure it would still sound incredible.”
“Even if it hasn’t been tuned in a few hundred years?”
It was his turn to give you a look. “Yes, of course.”
“Sorry.”
“And they had a Strativerius, I don’t even want to know how valuable that thing is. It must cost millions. I took some pictures for you, but I know they won’t compare to the real thing. The lighting in museums never does the art justice.”
He handed his phone to you to scroll through. You swiped the photos, smiling whenever you came across a selfie he’d taken with a statue or painting. You reached the pictures of David and couldn’t help but zoom in on-
“Hey!” Sam yelped and grabbed his phone back from your hands.
“What!”
“Michelangelo would be so ashamed of you! I bet he’s rolling in his grave right now.”
“No way! If anyone appreciated good dick, it was Michelangelo.” 
“Unbelievable.” 
“If you don’t want me to judge these statue’s penises, don’t take pictures of them.”
“I didn’t take pictures of their penises! I took pictures of the whole statue- you’re zooming in on- you know what, nevermind. Arguing with you about this is pointless.”
“Smart boy.”
Sam rolled his eyes at you and put his phone in his back pocket. “Oh yeah, did Tom give you that postcard?”
“He told you about that?” you asked, suddenly panicking. Sam hadn’t said anything about last night so far, but maybe Tom had-
“Yeah, said he wanted to give you an iou for the limoncello last night.”
“What?”
“He said you paid the tab for it since he left his wallet in the room and that he wanted to pay you back for it.”
“Oh. Right.”
Another lie. You had very much not paid for the drinks last night. Tom had. And you knew he had to make an excuse for why he was buying his brother’s girlfriend something from the gift shop, but to add another lie to the ever-growing list made your throat burn with regret. You wouldn’t be able to keep the secret forever, and it was only a matter of time before everything came crashing down around you. 
-
In the morning you took the train from Rome to Naples, and then took a taxi to Sorrento to spend the last bit of your week in Italy by the sea. The atmosphere was much more relaxed than it had been in the busy cities of Rome and Florence. Even though there were still hordes of tourists, they were far more dispersed and less overbearing than you expected. The whole town seemed slowed down, like it had escaped the chokehold of time. 
Sam’s parents took everyone out to lunch by the water and went over the schedule for the next day and a half. 
“So, you’re on your own after dinner tonight, and then tomorrow morning we’re going to take the ferry to Capri for the day before our flight that night,” Nikki explained as she read through the spreadsheet on her phone. 
“There’s an Irish pub down the street from our hotel,” Harry said. “Do you guys want to go after we eat tonight?”
“I’m down,” Sam agreed. 
“Sounds good,” Tom chimed in.
The boys all looked at you for your answer, but you hesitated. Thinking about what happened the last time you drank didn’t make you eager to do it again, and you were already exhausted from travelling.
“I’ll pass.”
“What? Why?” Sam asked, sticking out his bottom lip in a pout.
You leaned into him, resting your head on his shoulder with a sigh. “I’m tired, and I’d rather go somewhere Italian... since we’re in Italy.”
Harry shrugged. “Your loss.”
“We’ll have a shot in your honor, babe,” Sam said and pressed a kiss to your temple. 
“Please don’t. Something tells me you’ll have plenty to drink without an extra shot for me.”
“You know us so well.”
After dinner, you walked back to the hotel with the Hollands and said good night to Sam’s parents before parting ways to your separate rooms. Sam went with you to change into clothes for going out while you changed into pajamas. 
“Are you sure you don’t want to go?”
You nodded from where you were on the bed and yawned. Sam didn’t push any further, instead resolving to finish getting ready in silence. He paired his black jeans with a pair of converse and a dark green button up over a black t-shirt. 
He turned to you for approval.
“Fake girlfriend approved?”
“Fake girlfriend approved,” you repeated and gave him a thumbs up. 
“Okay, well I’m headed out,” he announced. 
“Have fun! Don’t kiss any cute girls without me!” 
It was something you always said to each other, but it sounded strange since it was supposed to be coming from his girlfriend. Sam just chuckled and blew you a kiss as he let himself out. 
You heard him greet his brothers outside and then listened to their footsteps fade into the distance before pulling up an incognito window on your phone. It had been weeks since you’d been able to get off and it was killing you. The amount of stress this trip had given you only made it worse. You were wound so tight that you were sure you’d snap soon if you didn’t get some relief. 
And you thought that maybe if you rubbed one out it might help you forget about... the confusing feelings you had for your best friend’s brother. 
Seeing as you had the night to yourself, you figured you might as well take advantage of it. You copied a link from your notes app and pasted the url into the address bar. You didn’t feel like digging through your luggage to find your earbuds so you set the volume low enough for only you to hear. 
The video started playing and you let your hand wander from your side up to your neck, brushing your hand lightly across your collarbone. You traced the curve of your breasts with a finger before squeezing one of them gently, feeling your nipple harden under your palm. You only had one hand to use since the other was holding your phone, but you made do. 
The video was one of your favorites, one you found yourself watching at least once a week. It was one of the few videos of hetero couples you had favorited, and it started with the guy going down on the girl before fucking her...
You admired the muscles on the man’s back, watching intently as they flexed whenever he moved his head. The woman moaned, struggling to keep her legs open while he brought her closer and closer to orgasm. 
You let your hand travel down further until it was sitting at the waistband of your pajama shorts. You knew you had a while before Sam would be back, but you were too impatient to wait. You propped your phone up on a pillow next to you to free your other hand as you started to play with your clit. 
You pictured someone’s head in between your thighs, imagining them moaning against your pussy as they tasted you for the first time. 
The man was taking his pants off now and lining himself up with his partner’s pussy. You tried to follow along, putting yourself in the moment with the couple. You gathered your own wetness on two of your fingers to lubricate them and slid them inside yourself, sighing in relief. Your entire body tensed as it accommodated to the stretch and you gave yourself a few beats before moving your fingers. 
When you finally did, you felt yourself relax and sped up your pace so that it matched the actors on screen.
The angle the video was shot at hid the man’s face and you found yourself wondering what he looked like. If you squinted you could almost picture Tom- no. You tried to shake the thought from your mind, but it was already there. 
Closing your eyes didn’t help either. You just imagined Tom’s fingers sliding in and out of you instead of your own, imagined the veins on his arms becoming more pronounced as he tightened his grip on your thigh. 
“Fuck,” you cursed, knowing you should stop. 
You were too close to stop now, and the pleasure was clouding your judgement. Suddenly the man brought his hand up to the girl’s throat and began to choke her, sending her hurtling into her own orgasm. You moaned accidentally, thinking about Tom’s hand around your throat. You curled your fingers up so that you were hitting your g-spot and whimpered pathetically.
This was wrong. This was bad. Not only were you fantasizing about your best friend’s brother, but you were confusing yourself even further. 
You tried to fight it, at least that’s what you told yourself, but all you could hear were Tom’s moans echoing through the speaker. You pictured the way he’d look on top of you. His eyes would be so dark and he’d be smirking like the cocky asshole he was, chain hanging down in your face- just inviting you to take it into your mouth. It didn’t take long before you felt your orgasm begin to build. The video was still playing in the background, the man still chasing his own high and bringing his partner to her second orgasm, but you’d tuned it out by now. You came around your fingers thinking about Tom’s hips snapping into yours. 
You were fucked.
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belphies-cuhm-sluht · 3 years
Text
If It Means That Much To You (Mammon x GN!Reader) Slight Angst -> Fluff
I realize now that if I had written this last night and Levi's tonight, I could have posted in the order of the brothers... but I goofed up on that... Whoops! It's slightly angsty, just the teeniest tiniest bit, but soft Mammon is so sweet. I don't write enough for him, feel kinda bad for skimping out on Mammon fics. So here's a Mammon fic!
Word Count : 1.7K Warnings : Slight angst;
The smile spread across your face as you swiped through the pictures that you had taken with your boyfriend. You both looked happy, and it wasn’t fake like those other couples that you had seen way too many times back in the human realm. This was the first time in what seemed like your entire life that you had been one hundred percent, without a doubt, happy. You had someone who loved you more than words would ever let him express, but he didn’t need words to tell you, he always showed you that he did, whether it be through the way he would hold you, or even just the way he looked at you. The way his lips would crash against yours whenever he saw you after being apart for five minutes or more. Even the way that he looked at you, you could see the emotion, so raw, you could feel it, you could almost hear it, just by looking into his eyes. His love, and his adoration for you was unmatched, other than by your own feelings towards him.
It was a perfect relationship, anyone would be able to tell just by looking at the two of you together. They would be able to see it through the multitude of pictures that you took together, pictures that he would never let you upload. Every picture was taken within the House of Lamentation, or somewhere deep in the garden behind the house, places where no one other than his brothers would ever find out that the two of you were together. It never really bothered you, not enough to bring it up to him at least. Lately though, it had been getting under your skin a little more than usual. It could have something to do with the fact that his latest modeling gig had garnered new fans for him, which should have been a good thing, but reading through their comments on his Devilgram posts had bugged you more than it should. He wasn’t the type to feed into their comments, whether they were raunchy or sweet, he would reply with a simple “Thank You” to as many as he could. You on the other hand, you weren’t allowed to comment on any of his posts, and while he hadn’t explained why that was, you just went along with it. At least you could still like them, and that was enough for you, at least up until now.
“Hey Mams, isn’t this picture cute?” You asked, idly flipping through the latest pictures you had taken together. They were taken in his bed after a long night of… fun… Both of you looked especially worn out, but the smiles on your faces were honest, sincere, and you loved waking up next to each other. His and your hair was completely messed up, and neither of you cared. It wasn’t a modeling shot, but it still looked perfect. You wanted to show him off, show the rest of the Devildom that he was yours and you were his, show them how lucky you were, and what better photo to use than one where you’ve woken up together. “I was thinking of uploading it to-”
Those words had caught his attention, drawing his eyes away from his own phone where he was scrolling through more comments and liking them, giving them the basic reply. The thought of you uploading anything like that though had made him stop, and now he was grabbing your phone from your hands and slipping it into his pocket. “Ya don’t haveta upload nothin’. I know we’re happy, so da you… nobody else needs ta know.” He smiled at you as if his words would actually make you feel better, and most of the time they did. It’s not that he was wrong, and maybe demons didn’t fully understand the concept of essentially showing the world that they were happy, that they had found love and being excited about that, but in the human realm it was a normal thing.
“Alright… I’m gonna go get myself some breakfast… you want anything?” You didn’t want to argue with him about it, you didn’t want to blow it up into something that it didn’t need to be, so changing the subject entirely was the best option. You pushed yourself up off the couch and started heading towards the door, grabbing your jacket off the edge of the bed on your way over. You turned back to face him, to see if he was going to answer your question, and he was turned completely around on the couch, pouting up at you. “You don’t have to worry, Mammon. I’m taking Beel with me.” Which was something you always did when you went to get breakfast… or really any food related item. Mammon was one who worried about your safety often, and since he didn’t like going out in public places with you, he would always tell you to have one of his brothers take you.
His pout only grew as his eyebrows lowered, crossing his arms over his chest. You weren’t really sure what he was trying to do or why he was even doing it, but you were hungry, and you really wanted to know if he wanted anything so you could get going. “Well… just remember who yer first demon was. Beel ain’t no better than me.” He huffed before turning back around and you were left in the doorway feeling nothing but confusion. You weren’t even sure what he meant by that, it made absolutely no sense to you. Obviously you thought Mammon was the better brother out of them all, you wouldn’t put up with so much of his crazy antics or try so hard to keep him out of trouble if he wasn’t your favorite. He also never had a problem with Beel taking you before, so you weren’t quite sure why it was a problem now. “Tell ya no and ya wanna go runnin’ off ta get food with Beel…”
“You know… I can still hear you.” He had whispered the last part, but his whispering sounded more like breathy screaming, especially when he was irritated by something… something that he shouldn’t even be irritated by. “I can go with Asmo or Satan… It doesn’t have to be Beel.” He groaned at the other two brother choices and now you were getting irritated. You didn’t know what he wanted, you were confused, and you were hungry, and he wasn’t explaining anything, and it was just really really annoying. “I don’t know what you want! You don’t want to be seen together, you don’t want me to leave the house by myself, and you don’t want me to leave the house with your brothers either. What do you want?”
His head whipped around so he could face you again, his eyebrows quivering slightly as he looked at you, his voice softer now. “I never said I didn’t wanna be seen with ya…” He sighed, shaking his head. “I just didn’t want anything ta happen…” You weren’t sure what he meant, or what could possibly happen if the two of you were seen together. Simple Devilgram photos couldn’t be enough to stir up problems, could they?
That’s when your brain, your already ticked off and, at this point, hangry brain started piecing together the puzzle, or at least, you thought you were piecing it together. “You mean you didn’t want your fans to get upset… If they saw a picture of you with someone they’d stop giving you likes and commenting on your posts.” His eyes narrowed as he listened to your assumption. He was shocked and even… hurt… that you’d think that that was why he didn’t want you to be seen with him. What was more upsetting was that he had apparently, at some point, given you reason to believe that he cared more about his fan base than he did about you.
He got up off the couch quickly, practically running to you and pulling you into his arms. You weren’t sure if you were just hearing things or if he was actually crying, or maybe he was coming down with a cold… but you could definitely hear him sniffling. “It ain’t about them… It’s about you…” He took a shaky breath, and that slightly verified your thoughts that he was crying, or at least on the verge of it. His hand held the back of your head, keeping your face buried in his chest so that you couldn’t see him, but you could still hear him, his voice vibrating his chest as he spoke. “I owe lotsa Grimm ta lotsa people… demons… witches… I dunno if they’d try ta snatch ya up… take ya away from me ta get their money back…” He finally took a step back, cupping your face lightly as you finally looked up at him. “I don’t want nothin’ ta happen to ya… I don’t wanna lose ya, Y/N…”
“Mammon… I-” You felt awful, terrible for even assuming that he would care more about his fans than your feelings. You had never once thought that he was doing it to look out for you, to take care of you because you meant that much to him… Because he loved you. Sometimes you fail to remember that he was greedy, and he did like to gamble, and usually that money came from other people's pockets. It was hard to remember because with you he was completely different, he never asked for your money and all of your dates were free, spent in his room or the living room or the gardens just enjoying your time together. Everything he did… he did it for you.
“It’s okay… If it means that much ta ya… Upload the pic… If it makes ya happy… I’ll even go out with ya… keep ya safe. No one messes with The Great Mammon’s human…” He smiled proudly, and you let out a small giggle as you shook your head. You didn’t want to worry him anymore than he already did about you, he didn’t need that.
“I know we’re happy… You know we’re happy… No one else needs to know… Right?” The words that he had said earlier made more sense now. You both were happy, and if anyone else knew, it could potentially ruin both of your happiness.
Things were perfect just the way they were. You had the perfect relationship, and it meant way more to you than a little picture being uploaded onto the internet.
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can-youimagine · 3 years
Text
Work In Progress Chapter Five
Summary: After leaving the BAU, you promised you would never go back. But then, you meet your replacement. Your genius, caring, loving replacement, and you can't stop yourself from being pulled back into that world.
Chapter TW: See Series Masterlist for series TW.
Word Count: 551
Series Masterlist | Masterlist
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You hope you haven’t messed things up too much. You aren’t entirely sure why you told Spencer all of that. There is just something comforting about him; you can’t help but trust him.
You’ve only ever met one other person like that.
Scrolling through your contacts, you stop over that name. “Aaron? You free?”
“I’ll be there in ten.”
You hand up the phone and race off to your apartment. Of course, Aaron is already waiting for you.
“Wanna come in?” You’re already unlocking the door.
He doesn’t answer but follows you in. Once he’s inside your apartment, he breaks the silence. “You went out with Reid?”
You nod. “Never thought I’d have anything to do with the Bureau again.”
“I”m glad you stayed, (Y/N).”
You shrug. “Never was one for change. Career change was already a lot.” He watches you. “I told you, I don’t like being profiled.”
He’s a bit embarrassed that he was caught and mutters a quick apology. “Do you ever think you could come back?”
“Would you let me?”
That causes him to pause. “I don’t know.”
“There’s your answer.” You fall onto your couch, motioning for him to sit next to you. “How’re things with Haley?”
“Great, actually,” he admits. “We had a baby last year, Jack.”
“I’m glad to hear it.” Despite your protest, you can still feel him profiling you. “I’m glad you got the chance to be a dad. Jack’s lucky.”
He places a hand on your shoulder, urging you to look at him. “That wasn’t your fault.”
“And it wasn’t yours.”
He doesn’t seem to believe you. You aren’t sure he ever will, but he drops the subject anyway.
“I told him.”
His face stiffens.
“I didn’t tell him everything. Nothing about you. I’m not sure why even told him anything. I just felt I could trust him.”
“He’s a good guy.”
“I’m sorry for calling, I just-”
“You’re fine, (Y/N).” He squeezes your thigh. “Always.”
“I should have called sooner.”
“You needed time. I didn’t want to rush you.”
“Thanks.” You rest your head on his shoulder. “I missed you.”
“I missed you, too. It hasn’t been the same without you.”
You bark out a laugh. “Oh, I’m sure.”
“I mean it. We miss you.”
“I miss y’all, too. Hopefully, if things go well with Spencer, I’ll come by sometime.”
“I’d love that. We all would.”
You fall into a comfortable silence, just like you used to, before you speak up, “I should let you get back.”
He nods but makes no move to get up. “Probably.”
“Thank you, again, for coming over.”
“(Y/N), call me, whenever you need me. I’m here for you.”
“I know.” You pull yourself off of him. “You need to get home. To your wife and son.”
He follows your lead. “I know. I know.” He stops just before the door and turns around. “I hope that things go well with Reid. You both deserve it.”
“Thank you. And, honestly, I’m glad to hear that things worked out with you and Haley.”
“Thank you. Goodnight, (Y/N).”
Giving him a quick hug, you wish him a good night. With thoughts of Spencer and Aaron swimming in your head, you fall into a peaceful sleep for the first time in a while.
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jiminrings · 3 years
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what happened to mc after that?? JUNGKOOK I WILL WHOOP YO FUCKING ASS
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cold senior!y/n x stem major!koo masterlist :D
the aftermath of stem koo breaking senior!y/n's heart
"do you need anything from us?"
yoongi asks you for the fifth time in the twenty minutes you've been home, heart breaking from the inside out when you haven't moved a single inch
he is begging that the thing you need from him and jin is to go beat j*ngkook up
HE CAN'T EVEN SAY HIS NAME WITHOUT BEING ANGRY AT HIM!!!!!!!
anything. anything to atleast make you sleep in peace tonight.
or them honestly,, either way
your body's facing the backrest of the couch and maybe that's for the better, because that way, seokjin won't feel the need to cry looking at the coldest person he's known to be openly vulnerable
you're still wearing your jersey!!! your stained dirty jersey that you've been in for the past three hours and the reason that it's still wet was that you've been using it to wipe your tears all the way to the dorm
"no. i'll be alright."
you mumble for the fifth time out of the five times you've been asked, and yoongi just has to grapple at his fist because he knows that being frustrated wouldn't help
you are the fURTHEST thing from okay
to be honest, it was only a miracle that you told the two of them what happened in the first place
it was in between sobs that you asked them why they were friends with you and they couldn't be anymore dumbfounded
it was in between violent tears that you mentioned hyeji that seokjin looked for a box of tissues because you've been intentionally rubbing your eyes raw
it was in between heaving that you said that no one wants to go the extra mile for me that yoongi started holding your cheeks and trying to get you to breathe with him in his panic too
it was in between hiccups that you uttered that no one wants to walk me home and that's when both of yoongi's and seokjin's throats started tightening, the dots hazy yet aligning nonetheless
it was in silence when you told that jungkook said that no one likes me, and that's when out of the three of you in the room – you're the one who's the calmest.
"okay. i'll bring you a blanket."
yoongi leaves it at that, standing from his spot on the floor to walk over to the kitchen where the blankets cLEARLY aren't there
no one really prepared yoongs for this
no one really is
there isn't a manual on how to act when the dearest friend that you have is crying their guts out for the first time
he can't explain his close bond with you and he's always seen you as his platonic girlfriend!!! his platonic girlfriend who has a bond with him that's closer than a sister's, more understanding than a mother's, and the utter admiration more than a friend's
you r literally yoongi's (platonic) soulmate and he would die on that hill
he would rather subject himself to torture via having to stay in a freshman's dorm equipped with the de facto led strip lights everyday!!! every single day, than to see you like this :(((
"what do you have on the bitch?" yoongi doesn't spare his words when he sits on the kitchen stool next to jin's figure
the dude is sTANDING and that means business
jin doesn't feel a single ounce of regret fetching his work laptop and scrolling through the files and tabs he has on every single student on campus, eyes only looking for one lee hyeji that's contributed to your anguish rn
jungkook is atleast 3/4 in this equation and seokjin will get to him of course
no one makes his emotional support best friend cry and nOT pay the consequences for it!!!!
in another life, vincenzo cassano's character is based on seokjin and the events in his life that definitely happened >:(
"she's daddy's money. can't fucking believe that sHE'S representing the school," he sighs in genuine annoyance, but not loud enough to pique your attention as he turns the screen so yoongi could clearly see her headshots, "must be a diversity hire. every university needs a fucking bimbo, apparently."
you see,,, yoongi would've SNORTED at that but now is not the time!!! he is still planning discreet retribution to avenge you!!!!
jin lets yoongi look at hyeji's entire file, wanting to get even the smallest bits even if the information he's taking in is against his will
he'll immediately delete whatever he learns about her right after it's served its purpose
"just messaged the faculty groupchat," seokjin himself didn't imagine the words coming out from his lips determinedly, but he knows that he's willing to do anything for the sake of this, "been crushing on jeon ever since the start of last semester. philosophy professor thinks it's because he once saw jungkook lending her a pen when they were in the topic of soulmates."
jesus christ
now THAT'S just annoying ://
this
whatever this is
seokjin and yoongi don't know what they're digging all this information for
they don't know what this unspoken plan is for, or if they even have a plan in the first place
if jin were to tell the faculty gc about this???
absolute mayhem
but he knows for a fact that they'd hate star student jungkook easily within a tap of a finger
the philosophy prof would lose all sense of rationality and reasoning and INSTANTLY point to jungkook as an asshole!!! no questions asked!!!! no elaborations!!!!
"i could get jeon eliminated from all the academic listings he's in."
jin pipes in at the silence that he and yoongi share, both listless in this situation that they never expected to encounter with you
"i could always spread a rumor and make him unlikeable."
yoongi toys with the rings that he wears, a heavy exhale tearing away from him
they could think of a thousand other ways to get back at jungkook!!! they literally can
seokjin knows a contract guy who leaves shredded paper with his contract's initials written on red ink (for a base fee of three dollars, he can switch up the ink for you!!!) right next to their side on the bed
yoongi knows a guy whose modus operandi is to discreetly follow people, have subliminals playing in the background (for an extra fee of ten dollars, he'll use wireless bass-boosted speakers), and continue doing so until the desired message is achieved!!!!
none of the people they have connections to could employ the same amount of pain he's caused on you
there's literally nothing that could hit home with jungkook besides you.
but there's no way to do that and even in your state of anger and sadness tHEN utter vulnerability, you can't even really think of hurting jungkook in the way he did
because you know and yoongi knows and seokjin knows and everyone knows that you aren't the type to wish ill
you admit that sometimes you're unavailable but you don't want that to be an asshole-reason to make everyone else around you suffer in the same way you do
the people around you aren't your shock absorbers!!!! that's why you hang out a teddy bear on your doorknob when you're mad so that neither yoongi or jin would have the possibility to be caught in your rage
that's why you call for a break when your soccer team is out of their game and make everyone drink their electrolytes before they speak to you!!!!
that's why you have the old heart of your even older build-a-bear stuffie in your pocket, one of the only reminders that your childhood even happened, one that you'd squeeze between your fingers in any remotely anxious instances that you find yourself in
jungkook's words hit home and it put you into a spiral if you even had one in the first place
your parents divorced when you were young and it's just that,,, no one from the two of them wanted you because you were the reminder of the other parent
you're a place marker for when a commitment started and ended and god did it make you grow up quickly
your aunt raised you!!!! she's an angel and she's the maternal figure in your life that you'd always be grateful for
you love her all the same and as much as you didn't wanna relate yourself to your parents in the same way that they don't, the feelings of being unliked hit you ever so often
lol it's quite a dashing mindset you have but you can't see any other interpretation you should employ
you leave before they could leave you.
it's not really as dramatic as it sounds
BUT IT COULD BE
there's always obligatory groupchats for projects and you're the first one to leave it instead of awkwardly waiting out for the conversation to dwindle and then leave one by one
when you and yoongi argue, you leave before he attempts to get the last word in
when jin is about to ask if you want to split the bill, you're already putting more than half of your share on the table
it's a nagging feeling of not wanting be unwanted in every situation you're in, but you aren't all that sure of wHAT you'd do to be liked
the only thing you could think of are lunchboxes, and even that gets taken away from you.
does no one really like you??
you're shifting in your position before you know it and the lone sound makes jin and yoongs come to your side immediately, looking at you in concern
you're looking up and you could just fEEL your eyes are puffy and even the light's hurting them
"i need to sleep."
"o-oh! m'kay, sure. i'll carry you to bed, let's go," seokjin wastes no time in responding, about to hook his arms underneath you when you repeat yourself again
you only chuckle but it's the driest and most painful they've ever heard, wincing when they can hear how breathless it was
"no. i mean i need to sleep."
jin blinks once
yoongi blinks twice
OH
right
they get it now
you don't want to sleep, and you really can't, but you need it
"i'll get it!!" jin volunteers to grab what you need, leaving yoongi with you
oh god you could fEEL that he's going to cry
what a big baby ://
seokjin comes bearing the joint :D
he's about to light it for you because he knows that three specific short hits would lull you to slumber then knock you out cold for like a day lmao
he minored in chemistry actually but he cAN'T explain shit on why that's your body's reaction
you're all-good for literally anything besides three short hits lmao
yoongi was about to scold jin because he lights it and tHEN he's the one who takes the first drag, but there's an assuring wave of his hand
how romantic
jin just blew you a heart
<3
they can't get anything from you besides the slight crinkling from your eyes but they don't mind at all — your eyes are atleast one degree less sad
you take your turn and even pass it to yoongi but he rEFUSES,,,,, not the least bit dejected that he decided not to because he wants to watch over you instead and not see every inanimate object with cartoon eyes on them while watching over you
"bake her a cookie if in case she suddenly gets hungry in the middle of her sleep. sneak a carrot in it or something," jin reminds yoongi and he's sERIOUS about the recipe, holding you in tow as he makes the way to your room
yoongi's about to break out the bowls, freezing in his steps when he hears the doorbell frantically ring
oh god
the ONE time that they didn't plug the door with a wet towel and now it's probably the hall manager outside about to do an inspection
that is not..... the hall monitor
that is a fucking asshole
jungkook's been pacing on his heels, his knocking loud enough to wake up the entire hallway at this point
he's SWEATING and he's not even wearing his hoodie
the door finally opens and the words start tumbling out of his mouth
"good evening. i-i wanna explain myself and-..."
that is not,,,,, you
it's his senior that he's disrespected probably too many times
yoongi leans to the door, a sickeningly sweet smile on his face that the junior's never seen before
"you ever had a sandwich before, jungkook?"
"w-what?"
the younger boy stammers, his eyes following yoongi's actions of looking behind him out of worry and then going outside to join him by closing the door softly without noise
yoongi only snorts, not even sure if he's up for conversation
"hyeji's never packed you a sandwich before?"
jungkook pales at the mention, mouth drying when he sees yoongi bring up the soft smile that doesn't comfort him at all
"the one that's all knuckle?"
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Text
•When You Fall Asleep On Them w/ Oikawa, Kenma, Atsumu, Terushima, and Tendou•
warnings: a few curse words
genre: fluff
characters: oikawa, kenma, atsumu, terushima, + tendou
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•Oikawa•
your exhaustion was clear on your face as you slumped down against the wall of the gym, settiling your tired body on the floor
you loved the seijoh boys to death but they really wore you out sometimes
to be fair, they weren’t so bad most days you guys had practice
but every so often they had you so drained by the end of the day you could barely keep your eyes open, like today for example
“Y/N-chan!”
you recognized the sweet voice meeting your ears but to acknowledge it would require energy you just didn’t have
oikawa slid down beside you, hair still damp after rinsing off his post practice sweat
he knew how exhausting everyone could be and honestly he was surprise that you hadn’t quit the position, but he was glad you decided to stick around for so long
an arm snaked its way around your shoulder before giving your arm a few gentle rubs,
“I think everyone worked really hard today, don’t you?”
to tired to respond, you opted for a simple nod before leaning your head on oikawa’s shoulder
he was suprised at first, not really used to this side of you, but a smile found it’s way onto his face as he felt your warmth slowly take over him
eventually, your breaths slow to a steady rhythm, signaling to oikawa that you finally stopped trying to fight the exhaustion that had plagued you
he maneuvered your figure so that you were lying in his lap, eyes fluttering ever so slightly as you subconsciously allowed yourself to adjust to the lighting change
affection was the only thing written on the boy’s face as he watched soft breaths flow in and out of your parted lips
a few moments later, the rest of the team started filing out of the gym, confusion quickly filling the air as oikawa smiled down at your sleeping form
iwaizumi seemed the most agitated with this development,
“What the hell did you do to them, shitty-kawa?”
“Hm? Me? I didn’t do anything at all. If you wanna put the blame on someone it should be on all of you, poor y/n-chan has to deal with so much.”
“Cut the crap, they have to deal with your sorry ass the most.”
a light laugh escaped his lips before he peered down at you once more, brushing stray hairs away from your forehead
“I guess you’re right, in that case i’ll lock up and walk them home when they wake up. I wanna let them rest a little while longer.”
iwaizumi sighed and reluctantly threw him the keys to the gym before leaving with the rest of the team
as soon as the door to the gym was shut, oikawa took a quick glance around to make sure there was no one remaining before leaning down to place a soft kiss on your forehead 
he knew that tomorrow he would never hear the end of this, but in that moment he couldn’t care less, he was happy just being there with you
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•Kenma•
you loved spending saturdays playing video games with kenma, it was your favorite activity to do after such a long and stressful week
even so, by the end of the week you were drained, and sometimes you got sleepy
especially when kenma began playing a more lowkey game and his sighs of frustration and mumbled strings of curses became absent 
silence tended to fall over the room when that was the case, causing your brain to shut down faster then you wanted it to
you sat next to kenma and peered over at his switch, watching with lidded eyes as his character moved about the screen
the colors began to swirl together as you were dragged deeper into sleep
kenma was too focused on the task at hand to notice your sleepy state, let alone the way your head fell ever so gently on his shoulder
after a while he returned his character home and paused the game, handing the switch to you,
“Here Y/N, it’s your turn.”
still feeling the device heavy in his hands he peered down at your sleeping figure, just now realizing why the atmosphere seemed quieter then usual
he froze and a soft blush crept on his face before he set the switch aside
you had fallen asleep on these days before but never so close to him and now he had no idea what to do
he didnt want you to be uncomfortable but he also didnt want to risk waking you up and ruining your much needed sleep
eventually his body moved for him as he crossed one leg under the other and gently moved you so that you were lying down on his thigh
he scrolled through his phone while you slept, mindlessly running his fingers through your hair as his eyes danced along his screen
he knew when you woke there would be a string of apologize falling out of your mouth but he didn’t mind the soft snores that escaped your lips 
besides, the two of you had the rest of your lives to play video games together
all he cared about in that moment was that you were taken care of
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•Atsumu•
you and atsumu had ate lunch on the roof every friday since the two of you had become friends in middle school
it was a long standing tradition, one that the two of never missed no matter the circumstances
it was peacful, no one else but your friends ever knew so the two of you were never bothered
and it was always a nice way to relax and enjoy each other’s company without having to worry about the twin’s fighting, kita lecturing you about table manners, or suna just being a plain instigator
the two of you typically spent the period laughing and conversing but that particular friday, you lacked the energy to even keep your eyes open, let alone act so lively
your exhaustion was plain to see and definitely gave atsumu some room to poke fun at you,
“Sleepy, aren’t we Y/N? I mean, I can see your under eye bags from here.”
you angrily mumbled something under your breath at the statement before rubbing your eyes in attempt to wake yourself up more
atsumu ruffled your hair and laughed at your antics, throwing a few more snarky comments at you
he returned to his lunch soon enough, continuing the story he was previously retelling before you could throw a fit from your lack of sleep
as he was reaching the end of his tale, he felt his legs being tugged at, jumping a bit at first before he realized your hand was the one attached to his ankle
“Whatcha doin there Y/N?”
you ignored his question, choosing to pull his legs until they were lying straight and settling yourself down to lie in his lap instead
“Tsumu, wake me up before we have to get to class, please.”
as you began to slip out of consciousnesses, atsumu felt his eyes begin to water
if anyone else saw him, they would’ve made fun of him but he couldn’t help himself, he felt so happy that you trusted him enough to be this vulnerable around him
he knew he could be a pain in the ass sometimes but he never felt like a bother when he was around you, you loved him for who he was
it was a miracle you had remained friends with him for so long but as long as you did, he would do his best to make sure that pretty smile always returned to your face
before he could wake you up with his cries, he cleared his throat and began to softly rub your back and he stared out among the trees,
“No problem Y/N, you can count on me.”
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•Terushima•
you had practically got on your hands and knees and begged terushima to help you study for your upcoming exam
he was one of the smartest people you knew and with how awful you were with the subject the test was on, it would’ve be a crime not to ask him for help
luckily for you, when you timidly asked for his help, he agreed to take some time out of his day to tutor you this week
which is why you felt awful once your thoughts beginning to haze and your eyes began to grow heavy
you couldn't even pay attention to the anxiety that had previously been gnawing away at you, let alone whatever the hell terushima was going on about
in your defense, school was absolutely exhausting today and you didn’t expect yourself to be this out of it by the time you arrived at terushima’s house
he noticed your fatigue right away, he way your head swayed back and forth as if you were in a daze was hard to miss
his first instinct was to laugh at how adorable you were but he chose to take a more gentle approach to the situation,
“You alright there, baby? We can take a break if you need one.”
you shook your head and gripped your pencil tighter, trying your best to copy down notes without falling face first into your text book
he smirked and playfully rolled his eyes before sliding more notes in your direction, 
“Suit yourself.”
not even ten minutes after you expressed your determination to the boy, terushima felt a weight fall onto his shoulder
he let out a chuckle at your unconscious state, knowing that this was soon to come 
he wrapping an arm around your shoulder and carefully pulled you down onto the bedroom floor with him, comfortably repositioning you 
in this new position, your head was on his chest, one of his arms wrapped around your torso while the other sat comfortably behind his head
“If you were tired, you could have just told me.”
although he knew you could hear him, the words left his mouth in a whisper before pulling you close and closing his own eyes
in all honesty, he didn’t mind this series of events, just happy to have you here with him
and besides, this gave him an excuse to schedule another study date
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•Tendou•
carnivals and fairs came to your town quite often and every time they did, tendou loved to bring you along
the two of you had loved to go ever since you were little kids so the memories it brought back was enough of a reason to blow your money on tickets and food
it was a chance of the two of you to forget about any worry or zees and just let yourself be kids again
and to tendou, it was always worth seeing the smile on your face as you glanced around at the scenery, eyes gleaming under the flashing lights
as much fun as they were, he knew how much they tired you out 
every time the two of you ran off to one, he always ended up taking you inside at the end of the night and helping you through your nightly routine, but he didn’t mind this in the slightest
he was happy to help and besides, you were the clingiest when you were on the brink of sleep, which he found absolutely adorable
“Y/N, did you have fun tonight, hm?”
he took a glimpse of you in the passenger seat before returning his eyes to the rode ahead, one hand on the steering wheel and the other settled comfortably on your leg
mind clouded with sleep, you took the hand that sat on your knee and held it in yours, examining the polish you had painted on them earlier that week through blurry vision,
“Mhm.”
tendou took another glance at you before grinning at your tired state,
“I’m glad, i had lots of fun too! We’ll have to bring Ushiwaka next time, he’s never been to one of those-“
before he could finish his sentence, he felt his hand being hugged to your chest
turning his head to the side once more, he realized you had curled up on the passenger seat and were now fast asleep, cuddling his arm as if it was a stuffed animal
a laugh escaped his lips at how quick you were to drift off to your dream land
as his eyes focused on the dimly lit pavement, he admired how sweet your display of affection was, feeling your love spread throughout his entire body
he slowed his speed, careful not to hit any bumps or holes on the way home in fear of waking you
once the two of you got to his house, he gently carried picked you up and carried you inside, setting you on his bed as soon as he stepped though the door
before he could grab a blanket and head to the couch, your arms found their way around his torso as you buried your face into his chest before drifting back into your deep sleep
a smile spread across his face before placed a kiss on the top of your head and carefully lying down next to you, allowing himself to close his eyes and enjoy this moment with you
••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••
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swanqueensalad · 3 years
Note
TRIGGERWARNING!
Without triggering anyone I wanna ask two things:
1) Was Cora ever physically abbussive towards Regina?
2) I know many ppl's head canon is that Leopold raped Regina again and again as his bride, but is that your headcanon too?
ok again TRIGGER WARNING for abuse & SA (and brief mention of suicide) for anyone reading/scrolling!
i'm going to just explain my personal interpretation of the show and these subjects, bc i find regina so interesting and heartbreaking. and i actually do think part of what makes regina so fascinating as a character is her relationship within the cycle of abuse and how yes, she was incredibly hurt and manipulated all her life, but she eventually managed to break free of it all and work to be better for her own child.
buckle up because i have a lot of feelings and this is probably going to be LONG
so, my thoughts on exactly what happened and why regina is as fucked up as she is:
so yeah, cora was a horrific parent. it's canon that she abused regina both emotionally and physically for practically all her life.
in practically her very first scene, we see cora using magic to hurt her eighteen year old daughter - to violently restrain her/drop her to the ground when she 'misbehaves' which pretty clearly says this is a woman who uses power and fear as a control tactic, and is not afraid of physically hurting regina.
and if this is what she was doing when regina is almost an adult, i think it's safe to assume she's been doing it since she was very young - regina's response 'please don't, i'll be good' is the conditioned response of a much younger child. everything about the way regina was written, her relationship with cora, and the way lana and the directors chose to play it screams abuse victim. she is hypervigilant - she jumps when people come close or make sudden noises. when she's choked with magic she immediately knows not to struggle or fight back. as a young girl, she is terrified of doing things wrong.
(also, when we get the flashback to actual 10 year old regina, cora says she can't help her because 'it needs to be someone who's magic has never hurt her')
while i think most of the time cora relied on magic to physically punish regina - knowing how much regina particularly hated it/was afraid of it - i think she was definitely not above slapping her for more minor infractions
beyond just physical abuse, cora was clearly emotionally distant and got regina to a place of being pretty touch-starved and desperate for affection. (lana and barbara play this so masterfully as well) we see her being constantly, nastily critical of everything her daughter does.
i think it's also implied in the regina rising book that cora was controlling/restrictive of regina's food to ensure she stayed thin/attractive which is just a whole other can of worms
as for leopold. please bear with me while i RANT:
nothing will ever make me more mad than the fact this man was never held accountable in the narrative for his role in regina's story and how absolutely fucking awful he was.
first of all, even before he meets regina, he is dodgy af. he supposedly genuinely loves cora, but throws her out immediately when he discovers her pregnancy without even asking her if it's true/discussing it. also, even in that flashback the man is visibly much older than cora and even more so than eva, who he actually does marry (although i do believe they came to truly love each other). so yeah he has a habit of Not Listening to women and not looking at women his own age
and then we get to regina. the eighteen year old daughter of his ex fiancee (younger even than the unborn child who cora carried when she was engaged to him)
yes i think he raped her. because powerful old men do not marry pretty eighteen year olds for the company. (also, if it was just so snow would have a mother figure, well, she already had her maid joanna. and if snow really wanted regina around that badly, leopold could have just brought her to court as a lady in waiting, a fitting role for a noblewoman, and more appropriate seeing as regina was only about eight years older than snow)
regina is visibly distressed by the proposal. she is panicked. she looks to her father to help. cora accepts the proposal for her. and leopold does not care. i think this tells u all u need to know about his views on consent
(also it all gets ickier when you remember leopold was attracted to cora, and regina is considered to look like cora did when she was younger)
leopold clearly had zero interest in regina as a person. he used her for arm candy for events, to make snow happy, and to keep his bed warm. (later, he invades her privacy so much regina counts on him reading her diary as a thoughtless and integral part of a plan, and locks her up for receiving a present from another man) and yet he is never treated as a villain or ever held accountable (besides regina killing him - good for her - but even then it's framed more as a way to villainise her for tricking sidney) and it makes me FURIOUS
i sometimes see the take that leopold might have stopped raping her towards the latter years of their marriage, but i disagree - i think maybe it did get fewer and farther between, but regina was still his wife who he only saw as serving a few purposes, and the way he is so possessive of her in 1x011 makes no sense otherwise, seeing as he was so uninterested in her in every other way
i do think a lot of regina's rage and vendetta against snow is because of this abuse too.
hear me out: in s1 especially, both snow and regina refer to snow as 'ruining her life'. because regina blamed her for everything that happened to her. not only did snow cause daniel's murder, it was her desire for regina as a mother that prompted leopold to marry her.
and this marriage was hell. and i think people don't realise how long it lasted either - snow went from a child to at least her late teens before regina killed leopold. regina was a traumatised young girl, grieving the love of her life, with no friends, no allies, nobody except the literal dark one who was grooming her for his own gain. (no wonder she clung to the brief sense of freedom and control his lessons offered. no wonder she nearly killed herself.)
and while regina suffered, she was forced to play with snow white every day, who was so spoiled, so loved, so happy, and had no idea of the life she had unwittingly trapped regina in.
so yeah, it's all pretty dark.
and it's for all these reasons i think ouat ended up shying away from many more regina backstory episodes centring on the time she was married/pre-evil queen years, because they were on abc after all, and i don't think they were really equipped to deal with the horrendousness of the story they'd created
but lana most certainly did her work becaue i think all of this nuance does show in her portrayal
and it all just makes regina's ending - the good queen, in her own name, safe and strong and loved, part of a true family, her bond with snow healed - so much more of a relief.
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bitchineering · 3 years
Text
Lets go! Day 1: Let’s learn HOW the frick to study
So this I think is the most important thing to do and really it is insane that in the United States (which is where I am from by the way) students have no idea on how to freaking study. Honestly all of this gets me incredibly frustrated because with the internet we have the ability to share information and I’ll tell you that I am one of those people who have scavenged the internet and picked apart what I could find. Here’s another big problem: not everything someone does will work for you. 
Also just the spread of dumb study information is pretty terrible. If I do counter anything I will leave a paper or my citation just because I believe in putting down sources and showing others how to research and why citing is freakin important. 
Let’s get started: I’m going to summarize everything that will be in here for a second
1. Find your method of studying, find out everything. AND I MEAN EVERYTHING. You need to write down how you study (the different types of study people) but also the classes because people study sciences different than humanities. 
2. Find out your most productive state. If this means it is you at 2 am in a suit and jacket than that means you need to leave procrastination station and be studying during that time. Now I am not totally okay with people studying in a suit for one it is uncomfortable, I think a jeans and a clean tshirt is just as good. If you can be productive in sweatpants or pjs then go for it. I know I am not and it doesn’t work when I dress for relaxation.
Okay, I’ll be going into more in depth of mainly the first one but a bit of the second.
To start off the bat, if you have time watch this lecture https://youtu.be/IlU-zDU6aQ0 by Marty Lobdell. You have probably heard the saying before and one thing that makes me so frustrated within the study community is that others use this statment without giving any real examples. I feel like Lobdell does this as well as he doesn’t describe note taking and I do believe before putting down a material, you have to take notes. (All he mentions is handwriting notes and I do believe in that. You cannot really type notes and expect to learn the material). 
Another source I would suggest is the Vark Quiz (https://vark-learn.com/the-vark-questionnaire/) Learn what type you are (I’m a Kinesthetic!) and read what they give you. I’m not going to say you will perfectly match with your description but if you are starting from ground zero, this is an amazing place to see what might work for you instead of you having to come up with different technques on your own. 
I get so annoyed when people use the pomodoro method as a way to study. It is not a way to study. It is a way to schedule your study time. Also, I don’t think you can do much in 25 minutes or maybe it is just me. Usually I work for an hour or 50 minutes and then take a ten minute break. All you need to do is find out what works for you. 
Okay let’s get into classes, first there is an amazing youtuber named Nathan Wu who made this video (https://youtu.be/pdAt8JhBnMU and there is a part 2 but I’ll let you guys find it). He is a very good study youtuber that I do like to watch sometimes and I do appriciate that he is spreading correct information. I can give you guys an example of what worked for me in some of my classes (I also just wanna say I won’t be putting my grades on here nor anything really. I don’t feel comfortable being compared to others because I already have to deal with it at my own institution and peers. Please don’t compare yourself to others).
Chemistry (Wu also does include this subject in his video):
- Write notes and explanations for the love of god. Like please just write notes. 
- Also apply those notes. If you are confused in one area ask someone for help whether that be your teacher or someone else. 
-I would say to use flashcards, but I’m honestly a big quizlet user (I haven’t used Anki I’m a little weird and I get so annoyed when I use something that is popular. I sadly give off the “i’m not like other girls vibe”). When I use quizlet every time I get an answer wrong I write down the definition. I can explain this more because you can do this with notecards as well and probably Anki but I like the mobility of quizlet. 
-Labs... I do like doing some labs. I miss my older ones from Honors Chemistry, I barely do good labs in AP Chemistry, but at the same time you have to do them. This could be for any science class because knowing how to apply your information is the best way to test your knowledge that isn’t practice questions (If you need labs look up a virtual simulation. While it isn’t the same thing they are usually free and if not you can find some on youtube).
- Practice problems (this more or less goes with your grading point instead of studying. While I do believe the overall goal in studying is that you understand and can apply the topic tests are so different in many things). As stated before I have taken Honors Chemistry, so I used test prep from my teacher and was able to form questions similar to how she asked them on the quiz. In AP Chemistry I’ve been able to use the online resources from other teachers and AP Classroom. I will say AP Chemistry it is much harder to write my own questions because AP Chemistry is just really hard in general, but finding FRQ practices I believe is one of the best ways you can work on it (Honestly it may be just me but doing FRQs or written essays for answers is so much better than multiple choice because this allows you to practice giving explanations and learning where your gap of knowledge is).
Another study technique I like to do is called the Feynmann technique. This is such a great way to apply knowledge without doing test prep because you need to essentially master your subject before test prep. This method includes creating a study plan for someone else, you need to teach someone else (or something else) what you’re learning and have them ask questions. Know I know this doesn’t really work well for some people including myself because I don’t really have others to talk to when I study but talk to yourself. (sometimes I talk to a ghost or a plushie in my room. I have little trinkets on my desk of which a tiger egg and a Chick Fil A cow plushie wearing a sunflower dress. Just try it, it might seem weird but you got to). If you can’t have others ask you questions say everything you can remember (and maybe do this on a google doc with the voice chat box open, I would say record yourself but I hate hearing my own recordings). Then, once you have finished look through your notes and see what you got correct and what you got wrong. If you did use a google docs then write what you meant to say like: “I said this... but this was incorrect because of this...”
For study schedule or something related to studying I would say watch these videos: https://youtu.be/-m2Ua5Y0mzc and https://youtu.be/OYuhkaOPKcM. Both are by youtubers who I do like to watch and follow what they do. I would say to look through Alicia’s youtube a bit more if you like electronic organization AND the true studyblr (girl can do beautiful calligraphy). I believe I align more with Keo Tsang, who studies later at night rather than earlier than the morning. Tsang does get more hours of sleep than me (haha). If you are in high school please don’t do what he does though. I try to go to bed by midnight because then I’ll get six hours of sleep, and I can sleep on the bus (it takes me an hour to get to school). I also have a free first period where I can sleep if I need to or catch up on work from last night if I didn’t do it. I do like to work when there is sunlight but also coming home from school and taking a detox or a break is so much better for my mental health. I know it will be different when in university but I’d just say this to any high school student, please do a mental detox. Don’t go on social media and scroll endlessly maybe listen to some music, read a book, take a walk/run, my sister would bake after a long stressful day and her food- while not the best- got her in a good mood. 
I think this is all I’ll write today. I still need to do so much work myself haha but I am a big procrastinator and also I did have a break down a little while ago. Just know you are worth everything and in the end, every problem is going to have some type of solution even if there is no solution. Your life doesn’t need to be answered today or tomorrow so let’s work on becoming better students one step at a time :)
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paigejj · 3 years
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Kai Anderson sfw alphabet 
pronouns used: not too sure as I have mentioned pregnancy in here
A = Affection (How affectionate are they? How do they show affection?)
I feel like Kai isn't very affectionate, the most he’ll do is hold your hand sometimes or even have a hand on your back. He prefers to keep his love for you private, so when you both are alone he definitely shows a lot of affection. Although he sometimes might show you off if someone is pissing him off with flirting with you. 
B = Best friend (What would they be like as a best friend? How would the friendship start?)
You and Kai had been childhood friends, you were there for him through thick and thin, as he was for you. Growing up with Kai was great, he was always protecting you and doing anything for you. 
C = Cuddles (Do they like to cuddle? How would they cuddle?)
Kai doesn't cuddle very often, he only tends to cuddle you if something bad has happened. If he does cuddle he’s probably the big spoon, occasionally being the little spoon if thats what you want.
D = Domestic (Do they want to settle down? How are they at cooking and cleaning?)
I don't think he’d want to get married, maybe if you became pregnant but if not I don't think he would. He probably prefers you cooking for him as he’s a busy man and he loves your cooking, also definitely leaves the cleaning up to you, occasionally cooking and cleaning for you if you’ve had a long week.
E = Ending (If they had to break up with their partner, how would they do it?)
He’d definitely be straight to the point with you, he might shed a tear or two but he refuses to breakdown in front of you in such a matter.
F = Fiance(e) (How do they feel about commitment? How quick would they want to get married?)
Like I said before I don't think he’d want to get married unless you got pregnant but lets say you did, he’d definitely want to get married straight away, he just gives off that vibe.
G = Gentle (How gentle are they, both physically and emotionally?)
I feel like Kai would be really gentle with you, even if he's not too emotional he’d definitely offer you some comforting if you needed it, like rubbing your back, stroking your hand gently or even a gentle hug.
H = Hugs (Do they like hugs? How often do they do it? What are their hugs like?)
He's not the biggest fan of hugs but will give one if needed. His hugs are very warm and gentle, sometimes forceful hugs if he's super upset.
I = I love you (How fast do they say the L-word?)
I do feel like he said it quite fast, but he definitely means it every time he says it.
J = Jealousy (How jealous do they get? What do they do when they’re jealous?)
Kai gets very jealous, he will not tolerate anyone trying to get with you/ flirt with you or even look at you in some cases. He’d most likely come up to you and show the person flirting with you who you belong to, he might even hurt someone if he get’s really angry.
K = Kisses (What are their kisses like? Where do they like to kiss you? Where do they like to be kissed?)
A very passionate kisser filled with lots of love. He loves to kiss you on the lips and neck, also loves to kiss you in places only he can see. His favourite place on him would probably be his neck and lips too.
L = Little ones (How are they around children?)
He doesn't really take much notice of other kids, if they were his kids it’d be a whole other story. With his kids (if he had any) he’d probably spoil them rotten and take them out places with you to bond with them. 
M = Morning (How are mornings spent with them?)
Mornings with him are pretty lazy, thats only if he’s not busy, if he is busy you don't really see him on a morning. 
N = Night (How are nights spent with them?)
I could see you both sat up on a night time talking about random things or watching things on the TV.
O = Open (When would they start revealing things about themselves? Do they say everything all at once or wait a while to reveal things slowly?)
It depends on the subject whether or not if he's open about things, if he is open about things its during pinky promise. (I think thats what its called, correct me if im wrong) 
P = Patience (How easily angered are they?)
If you really push his buttons he will get pretty angry, other than that I feel like he's pretty chill and can control his anger.
Q = Quizzes (How much would they remember about you? Do they remember every little detail you mention in passing, or do they kind of forget everything?)
Kai definitely remembers everything about you, there's no doubting that. He probably watches over you to make sure he hasn't missed any changes in you.
R = Remember (What is their favourite moment in your relationship?)
I feel like his favourite moment would be your late nights together where you both can catch up and look after each other.
S = Security (How protective are they? How would they protect you? How would they like to be protected?)
Kai is very protective over you, he doesn't want anything bad happening to you, he would eat himself up if he let anything happen to you. He’d probably have someone close by to you or even have someone check up on you if he was busy. He doesn't need you to protect him as he can protect himself.
T = Try (How much effort would they put into dates, anniversaries, gifts, everyday tasks?)
I feel like dates are very rare, maybe a dinner date every once in awhile but nothing too extra. He might give you a gift sometimes, like at your birthday or Christmas. He tries his best to be a good boyfriend to you because he doesn't wanna lose you.
U = Ugly (What would be some bad habits of theirs?)
I don't think he’d have any bad habits maybe coming home bruised or something?
V = Vanity (How concerned are they with their looks?)
I think he’s pretty confident with how he looks so I don't think its a worry. He might have second thoughts about how he looks if he sees an attractive person trying something with you, other than that I think he doesn't care much.
W = Whole (Would they feel incomplete without you?)
He wouldn't know what to do with himself if he ever lost you, he’d probably go out and cause some trouble to cool down and get his mind off things. 
X = Xtra (A random headcanon for them.)
It was a late Friday night, you were sat on the couch scrolling through your social media waiting for Kai to come home. While scrolling through your phone you heard the door open but didn't react much. As the footsteps came closer to you, you looked up to see your charming boyfriend Kai standing in front of you, staring at you. You smiled at him and patted the spot next to you inviting him to sit down next to you, he didn't say anything only falling down on you and cuddling into you. You figured he had a bad day so you let it slide and didn't question it. Slowly lifting your hand up to his hair, you start stroking it gently, removing any stray blue strands of his hair in his face. You sat there for awhile just admiring him and he soon fell asleep, you fell asleep not too long after, happy he was finally home safe. 
Y = Yuck (What are some things they wouldn’t like, either in general or in a partner?)
I feel like he wouldn't like when his partner talks bad about themselves, he wants you to be happy and not talk about yourself In such ways.
Z = Zzz (What is a sleep habits of theirs?)
I feel like he tosses and turns a lot which annoys you a lot.
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boldlyvoid · 3 years
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Hypothetically | Chapter 21-24
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Summary: Reader and Spencer were friends in kindergarten, she watched him grow up and explore the world while she was still trying to catch up to him. now that they work together, they fall in love incredibly fast. friends to lovers, case of the week style story.
Warnings 18+: Murderers, Implied/Referenced Rape/Non-con, Blood, Guns, mentions of autopsy, Fluff, Falling In Love, Friends to Lovers, bed-sharing, Riding, Unprotected Sex, Virgin Reader, Case of the Week, original crimes, Food mention, Smut, Oral Sex, Light BDSM, Pregnancy, Pregnancy Talk, obgyn appointments and info, Home Invasion, Past Rape/Non-con, Implied/Referenced Suicide, Emotional Manipulation, Grooming, Pedophilia mention, non-con oral (male receiving), Pregnant Sex, Daddy Kink, Breeding Kink, Homophobia, conversion therapy
A/N; thee case in c21 is personal to me, like fictional revenge.
word count so far: 70K (chapter 1-25)
chapter 21
Having Spencer all to herself for 3 weeks straight was an experience she’ll never forget. They had the whole month of January off together, painting and re-decorating their home till it was exactly how they wanted it. It felt like home, it was theirs for real now.
Painting the bedroom green was the best idea she’s ever had. When the sun finally woke them up every morning, it wasn’t as blinding. It was paradise. The golden beams of light cast a beautiful glow around the room, it was like she was in a magic forest at the start of every day.
Spencer was laying on his back, his hair scattered on the pillow. He looked so peaceful, sleeping with his mouth wide open. Y/N was leaning on her elbow, looking down at the beautiful man she had the pleasure of spending the rest of her life with.
She brushed the hair off his face, watching his nose scrunch up as he felt her fingertips on his cheek. The sun on his face made him glow, he looked like a gift from god laying before her.
“Good morning baby,” she whispered softly. Dragging her finger along his jaw and down his neck, “we get to go to work today.”
Spencer stretched as he woke up, slipping an arm under her and pulling her into his chest. She held on tight, kissing his neck as she settled in. “Morning,” he replied. Raspy as ever.
“Wanna go get breakfast?” She asked softly.
He laughed against her skin, “gotta feed the baby.”
“And the wiiiife,” she teased.
“Not for another 11 weeks and 2 days,” he corrected her. “But yes, we should go get breakfast,” he whispered after a moment.
“Come on get up,” she replied with a big smile. He patted her ass as she peeled out of his grasp. Sitting up and stretching, taking a look down at the basketball protruding from her stomach. “Damn.”
“What?” Spencer asked.
She stood up beside the bed and pulled her shirt up, showing Spencer how big her stomach was. Turning sideways so he really got a good look at it. Spencer leaned over and kissed her right on her belly button that was beginning to pop.
“I know your ears are on in there, I love you, Matthew,” Spencer whispered against her skin.
She couldn’t stop smiling, taking a moment to rub her hands over the bump in amazement. “Hi Mr. Matty MaGoo, mommy also loves you.”
“Mr. Matty MaGoo?” Spencer laughed, looking at her with the biggest smile.
“Yes,” She laughed. “It just came to me, and it's going to stick.”
“Derek’s been calling him Mini G,” Spencer added.
“We should tell him it's Matthew, then he can be little Matty G,” Y/N swooned. “Seriously let’s go I miss everyone.”
“Okay, okay go get ready then,” he insisted, getting out of bed and dragging her to the bathroom.
Spencer drove, giving her a chance to look over her work emails before the day started. She was still CC’d on a bunch of VICAP things, being able to snoop on what was coming in and inspecting it.
Sometimes Mindy would CC her in just for an opinion.
Subject: Found Something. From; Mindy Patel To; SSA Y/N Y/L/N, Unit Chief SSA Aaron Hotchner, SSA-CL Jennifer Jareau
There’s been a child abduction in Arizona, I’ve pieced together some thing’s I’ve been working on in the background that might help the case if you are called in to assist. Even if you are not I believe you should take a look at this.
Mindy Patel, VICAP.
Attachment
Year: 1998 Victim 1: Emily Lawrence - 13. Kept till 16. Taken: August 3rd, 1998. Williams, AZ Found: June 10th, 2001. Camp Verde, AZ ME: decay has he placed at 48 hours postmortem when she was found - strangled, sexually assaulted long term, extensive throat damage. Never been pregnant. - COD: asphyxiation Info: good student, innocent shy girl. Followed the rules. Taken when walking home from school. Held for 3 years, assaulted and chained. Dumped without care.
Year: 2001 Victim 2: Olivia Tomms - 13. Kept till 16 Taken: August 3rd, 2001. Payson, AZ Found: June 23rd, 2004. Florence, AZ ME: decay has her at about 2 weeks postmortem. - strangled, sexually assaulted long term, extensive throat damage. Never been pregnant. - COD: asphyxiation Info: good student, innocent shy girl. Followed the rules. Taken when walking home from school. Held for 3 years, assaulted and chained. Dumped without care.
Year: 2004 Victim 3: Shelby Summers - 13. Kept till 16. Taken: August 3rd, 2004. Peach Springs, AZ Found: July 16th, 2007. Keams, AZ ME: decay has her at over a month postmortem. - strangled, sexually assaulted long term, extensive throat damage. Never been pregnant. - COD: asphyxiation Info: good student, innocent shy girl. Followed the rules. Taken when walking home from school. Held for 3 years, assaulted and chained. Dumped without care.
Year: 2007 Victim 4: Beth Green - 11. Kept till 13 Taken: August 3rd, 2007. Saint John, AZ Found: January 13th, 2010. @ flagstaff hospital. ME: COD complications from a miscarriage. Massive blood loss. - well taken care of. Throat damage. Signs of being detained long term. Info:good student, innocent shy girl. Followed the rules. Taken when walking home from school. Held for 3 years, assaulted and chained. Dumped with remorse like he didn’t want her to die, and he felt sorry because he loved her.
Newest abduction: Name: Sally Irvine - 12 Taken: February 3rd, 3pm. Middle School pick-up (missing 13 hours now) Witness Report: Italian/greek man. Early 30’s. Claimed to be her parents assistant. Sally was used to going home with random people from her parents' work. Handsome man, very charming and convincing. He wore a suit and drove a Silver Honda Civic. Rust at the back, partial plate HC8.
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“Fuck,” Y/N cried silently as she scrolled through all the information, even in a compact form.
“What’s wrong?” Spencer asked, looking over at her with concern.
“Um,” she didn’t really know why she was reacting like this at first. Then it hit her. “Mindy sent me a case and it’s hitting a little too close to home.”
“Would you like to explain it yet? It’s okay if you want to process it alone,” Spencer comforted her easily like it was his second nature.
She let out a deep breath. “There’s a serial killer in Arizona that is kidnapping girls between 11 and 13, only keeping them 3 years. Every ME report says they have extensive internal throat damage, and 3 of the 4 found were never pregnant. This unsub is forcing them into oral for 3 years straight.”
“Fuck,” Spencer agreed. “I think we should take this one, if you can’t I would fully understand.”
“I think the unsub is my rapist.”
Spencer pulled over onto the side of the road. Putting the car in park and flashing the 4-ways. He turned to her softly and looked at her with a blank face.
“Walk me through it.”
“What?”
“If I’m going to go in there with you and tell Hotch that this is the same guy who hurt you, then you’re going to need to explain it to him and the team,” Spencer explained softly. “You’ve never even told me the full story, I don’t know anything about that summer other than the fact something happened. The first time you repeat this in front of me is going to be hard, and I don’t want you to have to do that in front of all of them.”
She couldn’t help herself from letting out a small sob, “okay.”
She took a few minutes to collect her thoughts, and calm down enough to get full words out of her mouth.
“When I was 12,” she started. “My mom went back to work, and she didn’t trust me to watch my brothers because they were rowdy and never listened to me. Like you said, they were more like my older brothers.
“My dad’s best friend, Jimmy, his wife had MS so she was home all the time. They had 3 older children and a few foster boys, she was used to lots of kids being there. And she had a pool to keep us occupied,” she bit her lip before she explained anymore.
“My mom’s birthday is June 8th. That’s when victim 1 was murdered,” was the first fact she explained that related to the case. She handed Spencer her phone so he could read and follow along.
“My dad is a Mason with the Masonic Lodge in Los Vegas, and he was becoming the master of his division on my mom's birthday that year, so we rented a hall and had a big party. Jimmy’s foster son was there, you remember Christopher Torsey? He was a freshman and I was in grade 6, about to enter grade 7, that was when the grooming started. He took me into the back room and asked if anyone had ever kissed me, I said no. He leaned in and kissed me in the dark and I was a giggly mess.
“My parents and his were really friends and he would come over all the time, our dads would drink in the backyard with our mothers till 1 in the morning most weekends. So I spent long periods of time with this boy for a few years, trusting him like a friend before he started anything. That summer he would always find a way to wander off with me, at first it was just kissing in different places where we could be alone together. Then he would touch my boobs, and he had me take my shirt off a few times.”
Spencer looked calm, but the redness in his face and the pulse in his neck told a different story. Her breathing got heavier as she had to recall it all, and she didn’t want him to be so upset.
“We worked at a local church camp together that July, we’d do crafts and sing songs and after all the kids left and we had to clean up, he’d find a way to take me to the room where they held the nativity scene out of season. He’d start kissing and touching me like normal, and then Kendra walked in once and saw and suddenly he went from obsessed with me, to disgusted, saying I came on to him and that it was all me. He was disgusted by me when we were in public, but he loved me apparently behind closed doors.”
“On August 3rd,” a tear slipped down her cheek. “The day the girls go missing. That was the first time he took me back to the shed and said ‘when two people are in love, they do things, and I love you. So you have to,’ He took his, you know, and I’d never seen one before. It was scary and I didn’t want to, I wanted to leave, but he pushed me against the wall and down to my knees.” She had to stop to take a breath, Spencer was crying silently as he watched her explain it all.
“He kept me trapped there while he did it,” she explained. “The worst part is that his parents were hosting a wedding that night, so no one could hear me basically screaming no over the music. He knew that. And so, when I complained about the sore throat the next day, my parents thought it was from all the singing.”
Spencer let out a shaky breath, he looked at her with so much love and sadness, she knew he loved her. She reached across the centre console and wiped the tears off his face, pecking his lips softly before sitting back to continue.
“The dates match up, he was Italian, they’re all 11-13 with throat damage,” she ran it down. “It’s him.”
Spencer licked his lips, wiping the tears off his face before taking a deep breath. “Okay, let’s go tell Hotch.”
Aaron stood up from his desk after Y/N explained the situation, walking up close to her with a sad smile on his face, “this was a very hard thing to come forward with. How would you like to participate in the investigation?” He was soft with her for the first time, it was surreal.
“Um, I’d like to come with you to Arizona,” she said softly. “when Garcia finds him, I’d like to be the one to interview him.”
“Do you think that is a wise idea?” He asked softly.
“When I was 16, years after everything happened. I went to Jimmy’s house for an event, and Christopher was there, and I went to his room. I was so desperate for the bullying to stop. For the lies, he had told about me to go away, that I went in there and apologized to him,” her voice almost disappeared as she got to the end of the sentence. Crying in disbelief. “2 years later he started abducting. I apologized to my rapist and he started kidnapping girls. I need to look him in the eyes and find out why he did it.”
“Okay, let’s tell the team.”
Y/N and Garcia spent an hour building the case files and compiling all the data they had on Christopher Torsey. Joining the team in the briefing room, where Spencer had already relayed the events to the team. Y/N didn’t need to describe it all 3 times in 2 hours.
She passed all the folders out, trying to avoid the looks the team gave her. They were sorry, they respected her, they wanted revenge for her. She knew it all came from a place of love, however, she hated being perceived by others.
It was a trauma thing. For so long people had the wrong idea about her, she was bullied and put down, and hated for no reason. She hates any form of attention, the glances and staring, the whispers of rumours being told as fact. It was stressful.
“Before we start,” she started softly. “Thank you in advance for your concerns, but I’ve been in therapy for 10 years. I’m very happy, this is gonna fuckin’ suck, but at the end of the day I’m coming home to a man who loves me, a baby on the way, and the best friends I can ask for. He’s going to prison. I win.”
Derek smiled at her, “that’s my girl. What did you find?”
“Christopher Torsey was born in November of 1979. His father was extremely abusive, he was in the ER a lot by the time he was 11. His mother killed herself in front of him when he was 12, he also watched his father rape his mother according to his child therapist,” Garcia started. Not knowing how to say the next part without Y/N crying.
“He uh, he said that his dad would tell his mom to be quiet. That-uh, I’m sorry, shouldn’t you say this?”
Y/N stepped in without a second thought. “He said that his father would hold the fact that he loved her over her head to force her into having sex with him. The apple doesn’t fall far from the tree.”
“He’s our guy for sure. Do we have an address?” Prentiss asked.
“Yeah, he lives in a double-wide trailer in Cottonwood. Near the back with his own access to the main road,” Y/N explained. “I knew he moved to Arizona when Jimmy finally kicked him out. I haven’t heard from him in years.”
“Y/N is coming with us, wheels up in 20.”
Cottonwood PD waited for them to arrive before apprehending him. They were concerned that he would run, with his access to the woods and a four-wheeler in his possession, it was a matter of boxing him in quietly with a backup plan in place and men on the ground.
“Can I suggest something?” Y/N cut into the Police Chief and Hotch’s conversation.
“Sure.”
“Um, what if I walk up in our civilian clothes, and just pretend that we’re there to rub it in his face that I'm happy and in love,” Y/N suggested. “I can wear a wire, you can be in a surveillance van listening in. You’ll be right there if we see Sally or sense something’s up.”
“Are you sure you can do that?” Hotch asked her.
“I am,” she turned to Spencer, “if you can control your temper you can come. If not, I’ll show up with Derek and still rub it in his face that someone loves me now.”
Spencer sighed deeply as he contemplated it. “I’ll kill him,” he admitted. “Take Derek.”
“Let’s get suited up,” Derek patted Spencer’s shoulder. “I won’t let him hurt her again. Don’t worry.”
“I know.” Spencer looked disappointed.
Everyone left the room, leaving Spencer and Y/N alone. She wrapped her arms around him in a tight hug resting her face against his chest. He softly held her in return, rubbing his hands along her back with his cheek on her head.
“I love you, forever and always,” She reminded him. “And I know how much you love me, believe me. I wouldn’t have been able to do this if I didn’t truly believe Chris was wrong.”
She pulled back when she felt a tear on her head. She wiped it softly with her thumb as he leaned his cheek into her palm. “I am loveable, and you love me. I win.”
He laughed softly, “I won too.”
She pulled him into a soft kiss, “I’ll be back in your arms soon.”
“I’ll be in the van watching the whole time, I love you so much,” he added for good measure.
She smiled as she walked away, throwing a fist in the air like the end of the breakfast club. Knowing full well he’d never get the reference. JJ on the other hand, laughed as she followed with Spencer.
They changed into regular clothes, getting in a car from the impound lot and following the surveillance van. Morgan was quiet, Y/N knew he wanted to talk to her, to go over the plan, but he didn’t know how to. The wire wouldn’t be on till they walked out, giving Y/N and Derek their privacy if he ever chose to speak.
“Did you ever confront your guy?” Y/N asked.
He nodded, “Carl Buford. I got to show him who I am now, that I put men like him behind bars. That I’ll always win.”
“Is it a good feeling?”
Derek set his hand palm up on the centre console, looking at her softly as if to ask her to take it. She interlocked their fingers, he rubbed his thumb against her skin.
“You’re right, it fucking sucks. The original pain never goes away, but there is a content feeling knowing he won’t get to hurt another person, that he might get his ass kicked in prison,” he smiled that beautiful Derek smile. “I’ll always be here for when you need someone who gets it.”
“Thank you,” she smiled.
They pulled into the trailer park slowly, separating from the team as they approached Christopher’s trailer. “Just pretend you’re Spencer, treat me the way he would. I know Spencer tells you everything, go off of memory of what he’s said about me.”
“You know he tells me everything?” Derek asked softly, laughing a little to himself.
“Because he also tells me everything,” she smirked. “When he’s tired and he rambles, he tells me about his whole day and that includes when he asks you for advice.”
“You two are gross,” he smiled. “I hope I can replicate it.”
“Come on,” she laughed, getting out of the car and waiting for Derek at the hood.
She took his hand before walking up to the door, a hand on her belly to make it look bigger. Really wanting to show off that she was in a better place than he was.
She knocked, 3 times, stepping back so he could open the door. She didn’t feel scared, she felt anxious in excitement to watch Derek take him to the floor.
“Y/N?” She heard his voice for the first time in 13 years. “What are you doing here?”
“My therapist suggested that I come here and show you someone actually did end up loving me, regardless of what you said,” she explained.
“I don’t know what you’re talking about,” he panicked, flashing his eyes back and forth between her and Derek.
“I can come in and explain it for you if you’d like?” Y/N smiled. “You’ve got nothing to hide I assume? I’m just wildly obsessed with you and a liar right? That’s what you told everyone so I wouldn’t be able to say you forced my head on your dick with the promise that you loved me.”
“I- I uh,” he stuttered. Starting to shake lightly.
“That’s what you do to all the girls, isn’t it, Chris?” Derek cut in, pulling the screen door open and watching as Christopher ran to the back of the house. “We got a runner!!” He announced to the wire.
Y/N didn’t run after him, she knew the team had him. She walked through the house to watch from the back door. Only to find Spencer stiff-arming him.
Christopher flipped over Spencer’s arm, hitting the ground before Spencer was on top of him. Spencer punched him in the face, once, twice, three times before he stopped. Sitting over the unconscious man as he caught his breath. Everyone just watched him. He rolled Christopher over, cuffed him and walked away into the woods.
Y/N carefully jogged into the yard, passing the bleeding and groaning asshole she used to know as she ran after Spencer. He was walking too fast, and he didn’t look like he was going to stop.
“Spencer Walter Reid!” She yelled at him as if she was his mother. “Stop.”
He stopped abruptly, huffing as he did so. He only turned around to face her when she finally caught up to him. “Don’t touch me yet,” he instructed her.
“Okay,” she stopped a foot in front of him. “Look at me, breathe. In and out.” She used her hands as she motioned a breath in, and a release out. She repeated it 4 times, watching him do the same.
“Can I hug you now?” She asked softly.
He nodded, stepping into her space and wrapping himself around her. “I’m sorry,” he whispered.
“It was actually really appreciated,” she laughed. “I was debating if having a baby at 22 weeks was worth punching him in the face a few times.”
Spencer laughed softly into her shoulder. Squeezing her in his grasp as he breathed her in. “I love you.”
“I love you, more,” she smiled against his neck before pressing a soft kiss to his ever-beating pulse. “Let’s go see the team, come on.”
Y/N was adamant about searching the trailer with the team. Going to the surveillance van for a vest and gloves while Christopher was taken to the police station, and Spencer had his hand wrapped up.
It still smelled like him in there. The smell of his detergent mixed with smoke from the fireplace. It never changed. She noticed his PlayStation was on, he was still interested in games. He still slept with the brown comforter that was on his bed when she was 12. It was worn down, holes gathered at the bottom as it was almost see-through now.
She opened the closet to see a very large metal safe in its place. She took a deep breath, looking at the keypad to see what numbers had been worn down the most, guessing his password.
0803
It popped open, it made her feel sick to her stomach. As she opened it, she heard the muffled screams behind duck tape. Sally Irvine was tied up, hunched over in a tiny metal box while he played GTA.
She wanted to kill him.
“Hey, hey it’s okay,” she shushed the girl. “Sally, my name is Y/N. We’re here to take you home, you're safe now.”
Y/N took the tape off Sally’s mouth softly, the girl sobbed immediately. Not able to say a single thing as Y/N untied her and held Sally in her arms. Sally hugged her back as tight as she could, sobbing into her shirt as Y/N rocked her back and forth. Crying along with her.
“He did it to me when I was 12 too,” Y/N whispered.
Sally pulled back and looked at her with puffy eyes, “really?” She asked. Her voice low and scratchy.
“JJ can you get some water?” She called behind her. “Yes. I was his first.”
“Y/N,” the girl repeated. “That’s what he called me?”
She couldn’t stop the sick feeling in her gut, “let’s get you out of here.” She changed the topic, helping the little girl to her feet and to an ambulance.
Y/N smiled at her as she dropped her off with the EMTs, walking off into the woods as quickly as she could. She leaned over, holding her own hair back as she threw up on the ground.
She swatted away at the hand rubbing her back suddenly, continuing to hurl in the bushes as she heard them behind her, shushing her. She wiped her hand on her mouth before she calmed herself down.
She sighed and turned around to see Morgan. His arms were open for her to hug him, she buried her face in his chest as she cried. Not able to fully process all the information she just heard.
“Let’s get you home,” Derek whispered. Escorting her back to the car, she was done for the day.
chapter 22
Valentine’s day had come and gone by the time they finished their most recent case. Landing in Quantico very late on the 16th of February. Everyone departed the plane slowly, half asleep after the 3-hour flight.
“Did you guys miss any plans?” Y/N asked JJ and Emily as they walked together.
“Yeah,” Emily sighed, “I uh, I’ve been seeing someone.”
“Since when?” JJ asked, both her and Y/N suddenly not tired at all. They stopped on the tarmac and stared at her.
“Um, a few months now,” She blushed.
“Was this the sin to win weekend?” Y/N asked softly.
Emily nodded, “what’s sin to win?” JJ asked just as quietly.
“It’s a weekend for gay people in Atlantic City,” Emily replied. “It’s an easy way to mingle in a safe space.”
“Oh,” JJ was shocked. “Oh, so you’re, and you too?” She pointed at both of them as the information was processed.
Y/N and Emily smiled at her and laughed. “Bi? Yes,” Y/N replied.
“I’m still not sure,” Emily added. She sighed deeply, shaking her head as she tried to speak again. “I’ve never really enjoyed male company? It feels more like a performance than a relationship.”
“I mean good for you for noticing that now, if it wasn’t for Spencer I’d be in the same boat,” Y/N smirked at her. “He’s more than just a pretty face.”
“Wow,” JJ was shocked. “I would’ve never known.”
Emily placed her hand on JJ’s back, leading her towards the charter back to headquarters, “oh you poor, poor, heterosexual woman.”
“She has a cat, she cuts her bangs when she’s stressed and she bites her fingernails,” Y/N explained to JJ as they picked their seats. “She likes pussy, JJ.”
Emily smacked her arm lightly, all of them laughing hysterically. The boys walked onto the bus to their cackling, desperately wanting to know what was so funny.
“I was just telling them, I met someone and I’d like for you to all meet her soon,” Emily explained to the rest of the team. “I think you’ll really like her.”
“No way,” Derek smiled, high-fiving her. “Congrats dude, welcome to the dark side.”
“You too?” JJ was shocked. “Okay, put your hand up if you’re a straight person,” she stretched her arm into the air. Hotch and Rossi joined her.
“Really?” Spencer and Y/N looked at each other with excitement.
“What the fuck?” JJ was dumbfounded. “How did I not know this?”
“It just never came up before,” Derek shrugged. “Tell us more about this girlfriend of yours, Prentiss.”
“Or,” Y/N cut in. “you could bring her to Vegas in April.”
“Why?” Emily smirked at her.
“If you’re all free on April 23rd,” She teased them along. “Spencer and I would like you to come to our wedding at my parent’s house.”
“Oh!” JJ and Emily freaked, “holy shit!”
“So, you guys are in?” She laughed.
“Yeah!”
For 2 in the morning, the bus was the most excited they had ever been. And Penelope didn’t even join them on this trip. Normally it was her making this kind of excitement, Y/N basked in the happiness that filled the bus.
They discussed little details on the way to their cars, standing in the garage for a good 15 minutes as they planned the dates they’d need to arrange to have off. Hotch knew he could pull some strings to use everyone’s vacation time for a few days.
They exchanged hugs before breaking apart for the night. Planning to return around noon that same day. Giving them a sweet 9 hours of peace and quiet.
“We still need to invite Penelope,” Spencer whispered when they were halfway home. Interrupting the silence that Y/N was enjoying.
Y/N laughed softly, watching him drive with a smile on his face. “I only told the rest of them because Penelope somehow hacked into my calendar app, to plan a baby shower around my schedule, and saw the plans.”
“Of course,” he nodded along.
“So yeah,” she smiled. “She’s told me that she wants to throw me a baby shower/bachelorette party now.”
“That would be nice,” Spencer agreed, squeezing her thigh where his hand was always glued to her.
“If we even get more time off before the wedding, I’m crossing every appendage on my body in the hopes all the psychos take the day off!” She laughed, twisting her arms and legs in a demonstration.
He laughed, leaning against the wheel as he tried to keep his focus on the road. “I love you.”
“You better!” She teased him.
It went quiet again. She could hear the tires on the sandy slush. The grinding of pressure as the snow compressed into the tire tread. Small rocks being flicked up from the wheels, smacking the underbelly of the car as they approached their house.
She sighed as she saw the place, the beautiful green door illuminated by the porch light. Screaming ‘welcome home!’ As they pulled into the parking spot.
Sleep surprisingly came easier to her the more pregnant she got. She was used to laying on her left side now, she actually preferred it, because it means that every morning when she woke up, the sun came in just perfectly to make Spencer glow.
The alarm on Spencer’s table started to beep letting them know it was 10:30. She softly watched him roll over and smacked the machine before turning back to her and closing his eyes once more.
“No.”
She huffed in a silent laugh, getting closer to kiss the tip of his nose. “Time to wake up,” she whispered between kisses spread across his face.
He was trying his best not to smile as she peppered his skin with kisses. Pushing him onto his back so she had more skin to cover. It had been a while since they did anything together.
Between the cases and the baby, and everything Spencer learned about her past trauma. He’s been a little distant, and it was starting to make her worry. Dr. Korrapati promised that this sudden burst of anxiety was normal at this stage of pregnancy. It was what contributed the most to the nesting phase, but it still scared her.
She wanted to kiss him, to run her hand down his chest and palm over his boxers until she couldn’t take it anymore. So she did, just a little more seductively.
She moaned softly as she kissed the patch of skin under his ear and down his neck softly. She dragged her fingers over his skin, looping around his nipple as she sucked on his neck. She lifted her leg lightly over his, trying to get some friction between her legs as she kissed him.
“We should probably just go to work,” Spencer softly interjected.
She sighed, dropping her forehead against his shoulder and letting her shoulders slouch.
“I’m not broken!” She sat straight up as she yelled at him. “Can I please just fuck my boyfriend? I have been horny for Weeks,” she wasn’t sure where the sudden burst of emotion came from.
“Oh,” he sat up too, resting his hand on her back softly. “I didn’t realize you wanted to after everything, and the baby? You’ve had a rough few months.”
She laughed lightly, “Spence, of course I do?”
She looked at him softly, cupping his jaw in her hand. “I’ve had to process my trauma before. Yes, it’s still bothering me, and yes I have new trauma that I need to address with my therapist. But,” she emphasized. “I am a woman with needs, and one of those needs is getting railed before work by Doctor Reid.”
“You’re one hundred percent sure?” Spencer asked again.
She smiled and nodded, pushing him back down against the pillows. She resumed her last position, putting her leg between his so they could grind lightly and make out. “If it gets to be too much, I’ll ask you to stop.”
“Okay,” Spencer looked up at her, brushing her hair behind her ear as she hovered over him. “I love you.”
“Prove it,” she teased him, leaning in and kissing his neck again.
He reached behind her to grab her ass, she had noticed his hands gravitating there more as she gained pregnancy weight. She wasn’t complaining either, the way his hands felt on her skin was glorious.
He was putty in her hands, tilting his head to the side so she could kiss, lick and suck wherever she so pleased. She reached her free hand into his hair while he other kept her steady, in the perfect spot to grind against his boney hip.
He was all gasps and heavy breaths underneath her, she raised her leg lightly dragging it over his hardening erection before putting herself back in place. Just wanting to see how far along he was.
She rolled onto her back then, laying flat, waiting for him. He pushed his underwear to his ankles as he flipped on top of her. She was nothing but giggles as Her Spencer came out to play.
Opening her legs, she greeted him back into her grasp as he hovered over her. Both hands planted against the pillow as he looked down at her. His hair falling into his eyes, she pushed his hair back behind his ears.
“You might need a haircut soon,” she teased him, biting her lip softly.
“Shhh,” he whispered.
She took his right hand from beside her head, gripping him by the wrist and guiding him towards her mouth. Taking his middle and ring finger in, sucking on the digits softly. Making him release a sound she’s never heard before.
She looped her tongue around his fingers, spreading them lightly as she licked a stripe through them. Feeling his skin against her teeth, which only seemed to excite him more.
She pulled off with a pop, he looked mesmerized by the trail of spit that connected her bottom lip to his wet fingers. “Fuck,” he gasped as his breathing hitched.
“You know where to put them,” she whispered up at him, staring into his eyes as she bit her lip.
He kissed her quickly, pulling her forward so he could get the t-shirt she was still wearing off her body, throwing it off the bed as he kissed her neck, sucking a mark into the skin as he pushed his hand into her panties.
“Jesus,” he whispered against her neck as he felt how wet she was. “You weren’t kidding.”
Making her twitch slightly as he used the two fingers that were just in her mouth, to drag up and down on her clit. Rubbing it back and forth between the two knuckles.
“Fuck,” she breathed out as she gripped his hair. Palming his scalp while he kept kissing her neck.
She could feel him grinding against the bed as he kissed her, moaning against the space under her ear as he quickened his finger movements.
“I need you to fuck me, like yesterday,” she panted against his mouth, licking his bottom lip after.
He pulled away from her then, lifting her hips to drag her panties down. Keeping them on one of her ankles as he gripped the base of his cock and sat on his knees.
The sight between her legs was phenomenal. The glow of the sun on the lake through the windows as Spencer stroked himself in front of her.
Suddenly, he took both of her knees in his hands. Pushing them to her chest slightly before flipping her over. Extending her hips as he held her ass up. Kissing each cheek softly before straightening his posture.
“Ready?” He asked, she wasn’t expecting it.
Her face pressed into the pillow as she tried to find the best position to support herself. Pushing her hips back in a silent yes. He understood her body language, lining himself up with her and slowly pushing in.
She pushed back against him as well, moaning as she took all of him. “Finally,” she sighed, wiggling against his hips.
He gripped her hips, pushing her off abruptly before slamming back in. She was shocked, letting out a gasped moan as he fucked into her. Taking the instructions too literally, railing her.
She had never been that loud before in her life. Concerned Rossi would be able to hear them from across the lake, but it didn’t stop her. Only enticing him to keep it up.
She pressed her face into the pillow more as she attempted to reach her clit. She couldn’t, “fuck, Spence?”
“Yeah?” He slowed.
She took his hand off her hip, “can’t reach.” Her breath was erratic as she tried to explain.
“Aw poor bunny,” he teased her, slowing to a grind as his fingers ghosted over her clit. “Can’t get yourself off anymore?”
“Please daddy?” She let it slip, feeling his cock twitch inside of her as she did.
He leaned forward, kissing her shoulder softly. “Tell daddy what you want, use your big girl words.”
She pushed back against him, raising herself from the pillow to look over her shoulder at him. “I was going to say breed me, daddy.” She teased, watching his entire personality change. “But it looks like you already did.”
He licked his lips, pushing his hair out of his face as he shook his head at her. “You’re going to regret that.”
She pressed her face back into the pillow and perched her ass back more, ever the invitation. He ran his hand softly over her asscheek, slapping it before he started to fuck her again, reaching around to rub her clit, like she asked, ever so nicely.
They found their rhythm then, pushing against each other in just the right way. Between her deep breathing and the moans she released, the only other thing she could only hear was the sound of their skin slapping together as Spencer fucked her harder than ever before.
“Fuck, sweet Jesus I love your cock,” she praised him, punching into the pillow as she pushed herself back into him, on all 4’s now.
Using his free hand, he spread his fingers through her hair. Gripping her at the roots and pulling her head back as he slammed into her.
“Yes, daddy,” Y/N panted as she felt herself get closer to the edge. “Right there.”
“Cum for me bunny,” he instructed her, “let me fill your perfect little cunt.”
She came with a shout, pushing back against him as his words pushed her over the edge. Not being able to ever say no to that man, feeling his hips shake as he tried to fuck her through his own orgasm.
He pulled out, flipping her limp body back over so she could lay on her back, releasing the pressure on her stomach. Legs still spread as he observed his handiwork, scooping it up with his fingers and pushing it back inside of her. Making her clench up at the feeling.
“Spence-“
“Too much?” He smirked down at her.
She nodded, catching her breath as he just sat there. Still, on his knees, cock now soft and resting against his leg. She preached herself up on her forearms, shaking her head at him as she bit her lip.
“Where the fuck did that come from?” She asked him.
“I have no idea,” he laughed. “But hypothetically,” he bit his lip and raised his eyebrow. “I wouldn’t mind revisiting that on a later date.”
She laughed, dropping back against the sheets. “Me either.”
She waddled from the car to the elevator. A mixture of pregnancy and over-extending her hips, exercising with Spencer. Lamaze class more specifically, if anyone asked.
“I should really start calling you ducky,” Spencer whispered in the elevator.
“I hate you,” she bit her lip to stop herself from laughing.
“Really?” He teased her, “because if I recall 27 minutes and 15 seconds ago when you were saying ‘fuck, sweet Jesus, I love your cock,’” he whispered into her ear.
The elevator doors opened as her jaw dropped, “notice how I specified which part, Doctor Reid?” She answered abruptly, walking out towards her coworkers.
“So that’s how it’s going to be?” He said as he followed her. Making everyone turn around to see them.
“What’s going on?” Morgan noticed it first.
“Nothing,” Y/N rolled her eyes. “Just correcting the genius.”
“On?” Prentiss pried.
“Well this morning she said and I quote-“
“I will cut your balls off and hang them from the mirror in my car,” she snapped, glaring at him as she pointed her finger in his direction.
“Mama’s got claws,” Morgan laughed at them. “Damn.”
Spencer wrapped his arms around her, kissing her cheek in front of everyone. She turned pink, pretending to be pissed while a smile crept onto her face.
“She loves me,” Spencer smiled, pressing their cheeks together.
“One part, it’s nice to me and doesn’t talk back,” she replied, making everyone laugh as Spencer shook his head.
“Okay, you win,” he put his hands up in surrender as he backed away. Opening the door to the bullpen and disappearing behind his desk.
chapter 23
St. Patrick’s Day was never a holiday that Y/N or Spencer really cared for. Yes, they wore green to work, but other than that they didn’t really see the hype. They were Halloween people.
Will and JJ, on the other hand, went all out.
It was something to do with Will’s love for beer and his frat-boy attitude. Explaining to them that morning in the bullpen that the best parties on his college campus were around St. Patrick’s day and Mardi Gras, making February and March party central in his life.
They walked in with little Henry, decked out in green from head to toe. Green beads around his neck, gold chocolate coins in a basket, and the cutest little shamrock light-up head bopper.
“Look at you!!” Y/N called out to Henry as she walked into the room. Opening her arms up and leaning down to pick him up as he ran into her arms.
“Any Y/N!” Henry called her, not being able to say his T’s yet.
She pressed his tiny cheek against her face as she picked him up and snuggled him against her chest. It was getting harder to pick him up now that she was pregnant but she wasn’t going to miss a Henry snuggle.
“Since when did the FBI consult with leprechauns?” She asked him, booping her nose against him.
“Nooo,” Henry leaned back in her arms, “I’m not a leopard-con,” he tried his best to say the word. Making the team all laugh.
“Well, either way, why’s my favourite little guy here today?”
“Hey?” Spencer complained.
She leaned her elbow into him, “hi unca Spence,” Henry smiled at him. Spencer ran his fingers through Henry’s hair, messing it up under the headband.
“He wanted his godparents to see his outfit before the party at daycare today!” JJ explained with excitement.
Y/N placed him back on his feet, “go on the, show it off!”
He walked around the room, doing a fake model strut as he shook his diapered butt, walking towards the stairs before running back. “Woooow!” Everyone clapped and cheered.
Y/N looked up from Henry’s gaze, seeing Emily in Hotch’s office with a blond woman she didn’t recognize, “what’s going on in there?” She pointed.
“They’ve been in there all morning,” Rossi explained. “I think that’s the girlfriend.”
“How so?” Spencer asked, moving across the room to get a better view through the blinds.
“The way Emily leans against her, hand on her arm like that as she speaks. That’s the same way you and lady boy-wonder act when you’re in there together,” Rossi raised an eyebrow at them.
“Ahh,” Y/N smirked. “I wonder what happened, no one talks to Hotch with the door closed unless they need us to look into something.”
“I’ve gotta go,” Will cut in, scooping Henry up from the carpet with a tight-lipped smile.
“Bye buddy,” Y/N scrunched her nose at him, getting in close to press their noses together. “Have a good day today.”
“Bye, love you,” JJ kissed both her boys and watched them leave the room.
“they’re the best,” Y/N said as she wrapped an arm around JJ.
“Anyone want to go sit and have coffee while we wait for them?” Derek asked prior to a long yawn.
Rossi patted Derek on the back, leading him up the stairs and towards the briefing room. The remaining team members following their lead, discovering fresh donuts and flowers waiting for them.
“A gift for helping in advance, -Noelle” Read the small card on the table.
“Emily’s girlfriend?” JJ pondered, holding the card up and waving it slightly.
“I like her already,” Derek said, kicking his feet back and taking a donut.
Hotch walked in with Emily and Mindy 45 minutes later. Following them was a beautiful blond woman, probably 6’1 even in her flat running shoes. She was wearing cuffed blue skinny jeans and a big Barbie Pink petticoat.
She smiled lightly as she walked in, glueing herself to Emily’s side. “This is Noelle, my partner, Noelle these are my co-workers.”
“Hi!” She waved, “let me guess. Chocolate thunder, Derek Morgan.” She pointed to the nearest person to her.
“Correct,” Derek nodded in her direction.
“You would have to be Penelope Garcia,” she guessed right once again. “Emily was right, your aura is very bright.”
“Oh,” Penelope blushed.
“Y/N and Spencer, she said you’d be basically sitting on top of each other,” making everyone on the team laugh. “JJ, she said you’re like wonder woman, you look more like you could be cast as Super Girl if you ask me.”
JJ blushed, “thank you, Henry would agree.”
“Rossi, I already knew you. I love your books,” she fangirled a little. Something Rossi was incredibly used to.
“Signing hours are from 6-8,” he teased her.
Noelle laughed, her smile wide and toothy. “It’s lovely to meet you all.”
“Noelle has come in today with concerns that local gay men in her circle of friends are going missing. Over the last few holidays, 3 of her friends have disappeared. Dropping all contact after a trip to the bar,” Hotch explained.
“I’m a firefighter,” Noelle explained. “I have a Facebook group of friends who are gay and in the forces in any capacity. Just to let each other know where they’re going, to be safe.”
“Smart system,” Rossi complimented. “But also incredibly easy for someone to pose as trustful to gain access and track them.”
“That’s what I was thinking,” Emily’s pressed lip smile portraying just how uncomfortable she was with the situation. “I’ve met our supposed victim number 3. Officer Perry is a great man and we haven’t heard from him since Friday.”
“Where was he going?” Y/N asked.
“He was at the bar with us on Friday for a little, we got a few beers and then he said he was meeting with a guy he met online, he was never big into online dating or even dating in general. He didn’t know how to be an officer and gay at the same time,” Noelle explained the situation fully. “He is one of my best friends, I excused it Saturday when he didn’t call cause I guessed he was having a good time. But when he missed Sunday dinner I knew something was wrong. I begged Emily to let me pitch this to you.”
“I believe you,” Hotch added. “Which is why I’ve asked Mindy Patel from VICAP to join us today.”
Mindy waved, she dressed more like a techie than an agent. Beanie, headphones on her neck and a big black sweater.
“Strauss and I agreed it would be beneficial to have a member of the team solely responsible for going through VICAP coincidences and letting us know. We stumble across too many rare cases thanks to Y/N and Mindy,” Hotch explained. “Mindy Patel is now officially VICAP Liaison. Her office will be across from Garcia’s from now on, she’s going to be our eyes and ears in the missing person world for the time being.”
“I took into account the fact that your friends were all masc for masc, on the police force in some capacity and male obviously,” Mindy explained. “And I found the two men from Valentines Day and New Years, and then more going back every major holiday for the last 2 years as of this St. Patrick’s day.”
“We’ve compiled the data and sent it to Garcia, it’ll be on your tablets shortly,” Hotch confirmed. “I’d like everyone to split up into teams and take an apartment of the most recent 3 victims. Prentiss and Rossi, you get New Years’.”
“Yes sir,” Emily agreed. “Noelle can stay here with Penelope for insight.”
“Yes. Reid, Y/N and Morgan, you’ll take officer Perry’s apartment. It’s the freshest so I need the best eyes.”
“Absolutely,” they replied in unison.
“Myself and JJ are going to the Valentines Day abduction,” check in with Garcia when you need to, fill me in on everything. Good luck.”
“Yeah a cop lives here,” Y/N laughed as she searched through the carefully organized home. Combing the place over for the slightest abnormality.
“He definitely wasn’t taken,” Morgan agreed. “He went willingly and never made it home.”
Dust was starting to settle on his possessions. Photos on the wall looked blurry as the sun shined through the windows. It smelled stale, no one had opened the windows in a while and the man who lived here worked out.
His clothing was organized by category. His laundry had 3 separate baskets for darks, lights and colours. Inside his bedside drawers, all his condoms were lined up by type. He was definitely anal about something.
“Guys?” Spencer called from the office.
Morgan and Y/N followed the sound of his voice, seeing him hunched over an iMac. “I moved the mouse and it’s open and unlocked.”
“But you don’t know what to do?” She teased him.
“Yeah,” he blushed. Watching Y/N sit in the desk chair and start looking through his things.
“His Facebook is pretty basic, he checked in at the bar with a photo here of him with Emily and Noelle, and then he went offline. He doesn’t have Twitter or Tumblr logged in, so I’m guessing he doesn’t have that,” Y/N explains as she stalked his activity. “In his history, your male basics. Case research, pornhub, Facebook, Hotmail… hold on.”
She read through all the subjects, all looking pretty normal. “What would a gay man hiding his sex life from his co-workers disguise his emails as?”
“Work-out appointments,” Morgan answered almost too quickly.
‘Workout’ she typed into the search bar. Seeing 15 messages from another man named [email protected]. “got him, call Garcia.”
“Hey baby girl,” Derek spoke softly as she answered. “We got Jensen Perry’s computer open, his email shows he’s been working out with a [email protected].”
“Already working my finger magic,” she teased him. Hanging up before he could say anything back.
“That woman will be the death of me,” he sighed.
“I don’t think we’ll find anything else here, our best bet is with Garcia,” Y/N admitted as she closed all the windows. “Wait,” she pulled up the search and typed in ‘find my iPhone,’ “if he has a Mac he has an iPhone, not many people blend their tech.”
Last ping: 2256 Sheerly Lane, Friday at 23:56.
“I’ll call Hotch while you drive,” Y/N said, pulling out her phone and following the men out the door.
Morgan followed the GPS 15 minutes down the street to an apartment complex. It was worn down and looked as if no one had taken care of it in the last 25 years. “I’m calling Garcia before you go in, I don’t feel good about this.”
“Hey doll,” Garcia’s cheery voice was a nice refresher.
“Hey, do you have any info on who owns and occupies 2256, Sheerly Lane?” Y/N asked softly. “Also send backup to this location, it’s where Perry’s iPhone is apparently and it looks sketchy as hell.”
She heard the clicking of the keys before she heard Garcia’s reply. “Yep, we have 1 occupant. Amy Romano, 46, left the building after her mother died. She’s been living there in room 333 for years, not renting any rooms out at all in the last 3 years.”
“A woman?” Morgan was shocked.
“Must be why we’ve never found the bodies, female serial killers are 90% less likely to ever be caught,” Reid added his fun fact, one she’s heard from him a handful of times before.
“Exactly,” Y/N agreed. “What do we know about her?”
“She’s an interesting one,” Garcia’s tone changed. “Her father was a minister, big bible freak. Her mother was the maid here at the hotel before being given the deed from the original owner’s family. She died in 1988.”
“How much of the religious upbringing rubbed off on her?”
“Enough to make her have multiple psychotic breaks, being diagnosed with schizophrenia when she was 15,” Garcia gained more insight. “Claimed to have been visited by God, and was told sinners are punished by word of god. That one day she would be the one to follow his word for the righteous man.”
“What if she’s doing her own form of conversion therapy?” Y/N gasped. “She’s not killing them. She’s following god’s word and freeing them from their sins. This is the perfect place to keep them. Locking them in rooms away from each other, secluding them and only subjecting them to a female for long periods of time.”
“Garcia, we need back up right now,” Morgan stressed.
“they’re 4 minutes out, good luck in there my babies.”
“See you soon, baby girl.”
Being left out of raids was weird to her, watching Spencer put on a bullet-proof vest and load his gun without her cover made her anxious. Luckily, she got to stand with JJ outside. Watching the building as they listened over their radiofrequency.
“Clear,” Morgan spoke over the system.
“Clear here as well,” Hotch said. “Meet me at the stairwell.”
“I hate this,” Y/N whispered.
JJ ran her hand along Y/N’s back softly, “me too.”
“Floor 3, room 33,” Hotch explained. “I’ll kick in the door, Morgan, you enter first. Spencer and Prentiss, follow our lead.”
Not having a visual was the worst part. There was no way to know where they were or who was there. They worked on sounds, if and when the team decided to speak.
“1, 2, 3,” Morgan whispered before they heard the door smash in. “FBI!”
Then it was silent again, too quiet for anyone’s liking, staring up at the third floor trying to hear everything in the neighbourhood.
“Amy Romano put the gun down!”
“No!” They heard before 4 shots were fired.
Y/N’s heart was in her throat; she couldn’t hear anything going on inside. The officers asked over the radio for updates, hearing nothing in return. Y/N couldn’t stop herself from running towards the apartment buildings before anyone could catch her. Up 3 flights of stairs, drawing her gun and walking towards the room.
Morgan was shot in the arm, down. Prentiss, hiding behind a table with Morgan and Spencer as she tried to stop the bleeding. Hotch in the unsub’s grasp, fighting for a gun.
Hotch noticed Y/N in the doorway. Kicking the unsub down. Y/N wrapped her arm around the unsub’s neck, putting her in a headlock as Hotch attempted to cuff her. She struggled like a wet fish against them, slipping out of her grasp and falling to the floor.
“If God wants to tell me to stop, he’ll tell me himself!” She screamed.
Y/N presses her gun to her head, “he just did.”
“Amy Romano you’re under arrest for the kidnapping of 24 men, attempted murder of a federal agent and resisting arrest,” Hotch explained as he cuffed her.
“Y/N!” Spencer stood up, looking at her like she was the crazy person. “We agreed, 3rd trimester, no fieldwork.”
“You didn’t reply on the radio and suddenly I was here,” Y/N explained, “I’m sorry.”
“We need EMTs, Morgan’s been shot in the arm. The bleeding is under control, just hurry.” Prentiss ordered over the radio.
“Y/L/N is going to need to get checked as well,” Spencer added.
“Why?”
“You ran up three flights of stairs, wrestled an unsub and got elbowed in the side,” Spencer explained, taking her hand and leading her out of the room.
“I’m sorry, I get it now I really do,” Y/N stopped him in the hallway, holding him in her arms. “I don’t like when I can’t see that you’re safe.”
Spencer kissed the top of her head, “I love you.”
“The baby’s kicking,” she replied softly, “that’s good right? 4 movements in 30 minutes after activity is a good thing.”
Spencer laughed, pulling back to feel her belly. “I’m sure he’s all hopped up on adrenaline now, come on let’s get him looked at quickly.”
They found 16 of the 24 men alive and in critical condition inside the apartment building. SCSI was canvassing the scene with local cops, taping up the building and surrounding property while the city discussed demolishing the building altogether.
Y/N was able to witness Noelle running into Jensen Perry’s arms, hugging him as they cried in his hospital bed. Y/N could imagine the trauma he was going through, the terror and the fear of something you really don’t want, happening anyway.
“Why do people do terrible things in the name of God?” Y/N whispered towards Spencer, looking up at him with soft eyes. Truly curious.
“The religious system runs similarly to cults, they believe the words are to be followed and thus they will gain entrance to heaven. If there’s one thing humans are afraid of more than dying, it’s internal damnation. Holding the fact that they will suffer in death over their head is a way to get them to do anything.” Spencer explained softly. “With the right person, the wrong message can actually sound like a pretty good thing.”
Y/N let out a deep sigh, “how do you raise a good child in a fucked up world?”
“Matthew, 18; 1 through 5, At that time the disciples came to Jesus and said, “Who then is greatest in the kingdom of heaven?” And He called a child to Himself and set him before them, and said, “Truly I say to you, unless you are converted and become like children, you will not enter the kingdom of heaven.” Spencer repeated the bible verse softly. “Whoever then humbles himself as this child, he is the greatest in the kingdom of heaven. And whoever receives one such child in My name receives Me.”
Y/N smiled, “I like that.”
“He was always supposed to be good, he has you as his mother.”
chapter 24
April rolled around out of nowhere. Suddenly the snow had all melted, the birds were returning, and the trees were starting to bud thanks to the week of thunderstorms.
Love was in the air, both in the wild and in Y/N’s life.
The wedding’s in 2 weeks and she’s growing daily. She wanted to wait till the last possible moment to get her dress. Wanting it to actually fit over her stomach on the big day without any struggle.
Being placed on office duty for the rest of her pregnancy made it easier, not being allowed to leave Mindy and Penelope's side, under direct order from Aaron Hotchner. She was starting to notice that the more pregnant she got, the more the men of the team wanted to protect her as well.
JJ said it was the same for her the first time, all the alpha personalities came out around the third trimester. It was like they didn’t quite register that a woman on the team was pregnant till it was abundantly clear.
The girls had all agreed to go to the dress store with Y/N when they had a free afternoon, but that didn’t seem to be happening any time soon. Y/N ended up going by herself between cases while Spencer was on a flight, trying on 6 different dresses before she found one that made her happy.
The sales associate was being extra nice to her, knowing she had both a big budget and no time. It was an easy sale, but this wasn’t an easy decision.
She tried a sleeveless, skin-tight number on first. Not being able to even move once she got in it, not even bothering to look in the mirror. It wasn’t right, that was for sure.
Eventually, by #5 they had an idea of what she wanted. Long sleeves to hide her stretch marks, it had to be flowy but still show off the bump. And she wanted lace, embroidery even. Something that made it different, something that was more like her. Always growing, changing, adapting.
She was wandering the racks when she saw it.
It was so long, the train had to be at least 6 feet. It was light, made with sheer fabric so it would twist and flow with whatever direction she ran or danced. She could imagine walking through the grass with the train flowing behind her with purpose.
The most wonderful aspect was the long sleeves and the neckline. Cupping her chest perfectly with a nice ribbon right above her bump. The entire dress reminded her of something, the floral embroidery sending her back to a dress she remembers from her childhood, not able to place it but knowing it in her heart.
She looked in the mirror at herself, she felt beautiful. She shook her head lightly as a tear fell down her cheek. “It’s perfect,” she whispered.
The sales associate shook a big bell then, causing everyone to look at her and cheer. “Are you saying yes?” She asked, as cheesy as it was, she loved it.
“Yes!” She cheered back, feeling the love from everyone in the store.
The dress was huge, she laid the bag against her passenger seat and stared at it for a while. It felt a little crazy that she was getting married in a few days, even crazier that she was having a baby in 2 months.
Her phone rang as she started to leave. “Hewwo?” She answered softly, knowing it was Spencer.
“I just got home, where are you?”
“Oh,” she smiled. “Penelope said you guys wouldn’t be back until 9, I went and picked out a dress.”
“Alone?” He sounded sad.
“It was better this way, I picked it for me and no one else,” she reassured him. “I’m on my way home now though baby, I’ll see you soon.”
“Okay, drive safe. I love you,” Spencer replied, his voice nothing more than a whisper.
“Love you too,” she hung up.
She sighed, turning on the stereo and driving home to her favourite albums. Driving alone was different for her now, she used to love just escaping into the Virginia wilderness, picking a road and an album and just going somewhere.
Driving with Spencer meant silence, hand-holding, humming and ha-ing as he discovered new facts that intrigued him. She loved it, the ambiance of Doctor Spencer Reid was not something you could replicate, it was special and calming and wonderful.
She couldn’t wait to get home to him.
He was waiting on the front porch as she rolled into the driveway. Joining her at the car, wanting to help her carry her things inside. “Hi,” she smiled at him as she stepped out.
He pulled her into a hug, kissing her cheek softly. “Want some help?”
“If you don’t mind carrying in my dress, I need to pee so bad!” She said, almost about to run inside when he stopped her.
“Like how bad?” He asked.
“Excuse me?”
“If you were to get surprised would you pee your pants?” He tried not to laugh as he asked.
“Spence?”
“Just go in,” he said softly.
She sighed, knowing what this meant. Walking up the stairs slowly, turning the doorknob just as slow. Not ready to have her eardrums blown out.
“Surprise!!”
Sure enough, there were balloons and flowers and her friends gathered all inside her front hall. “Oh my god?”
Penelope wrapped her in a hug first, “your first baby shower has to be special!”
“You guys really didn’t have to do this?” She was so shocked to be getting attention that she felt a little embarrassed.
“We wanted to,” JJ hugged her next, their bumps too big to hug normally, opting for more of a side snuggle. “I got you something to change into before we get started.”
Y/N took the small blue bag from her, kicking her shoes off before they went upstairs. Spencer joining with her wedding dress, hanging it in the closet and slipping back downstairs, unnoticed.
Y/N opened the gift bag on her bed, JJ looked around the room for the first time ever. Looking at the photos of their first day of kindergarten on the wall, the artwork they chose. How Spencer wrote notes to her on the mirror with whiteboard markers.
“You guys are really cute,” she smiled.
“Thanks,” she smiled.
Finally taking the dress out of the bag, it was just something simple. Blue with pink flowers. Something she’d definitely pick out on her own. “This is so beautiful!”
“I got it when I was pregnant with Henry and never had a chance to wear it,” She smiled, “thought that you’d like it more.”
Y/N hugged her, “seriously this is the best thing you guys could’ve done for me!”
“I’m also going to need a pink dress,” JJ said softly in her grasp.
“No?” Y/N was shocked. “Really a mini JJ?”
“Yeah,” she smiled softly. “Hurry up we have more surprises for you downstairs!”
It took her longer than she hoped to get changed. The baby was just big enough to make her winded all the time now. Having to stop and take a breather just from taking her pants off. Not to mention the struggle of standing up after peeing.
When she finally made it back down the stairs on her swollen feet, she heard a familiar giggle that she loved very much. “You didn’t?”
JJ smiled, “it was Rossi and Will, they flew them all in and got them here.”
Her parents, brothers and wives were all in the kitchen waiting for her. Then she saw Diana, who was pressed up close to Spencer having a conversation in their own little world.
She walked in and cried, hugging her parents for the first time in 5 months. Showing off her big baby bump and chunky face for the first time too.
“You look amazing!” Her mom complimented her, taking her hand and making her spin slowly.
“Thank you, I feel huge,” she smiled. “I can’t believe you guys are here, I’m literally coming home in 2 weeks!”
“When David Rossi calls you and says he has a jet picking us up, you don’t just say no,” her father laughed, wrapping his arm around Rossi. They were going to be something else together.
She gave Diana a big hug when she could, watching her rub her belly and talk to the baby through her stomach for a good 10 minutes. It was so cute, everyone in the room watched and swooned. Secretly always hoping Spencer’s family got a moment like this.
After dealing with the Riley Jenkins case, and Gideon leaving, they worried for him. They never expected him to just show up one day with a girl and start the rest of his life the way he did. But it just made sense. He sped through school and early adulthood well before Y/N, now they’re moving fast, just together.
They had pizza for dinner, spreading 6 different kinds across the counter and telling everyone to dig in. Y/N took a slice and walked around, mingling with everyone to ensure she thanked them for coming.
“Henry!” She finally found him with Chloe and Lizzie. He ran into her arms, giving her a big hug. “Did you meet my niece?”
“You’re my any?” He questioned her right back.
“Come here Clo,” she called her over, huddling them both in close to her. “You both get to call me aunty Y/N, isn’t that so cool? You’re new friends and you share an aunty!”
Chloe gave her a big hug, she was getting bigger and bigger every day, about to turn 4 in a few months. It felt a little crazy, but she wouldn’t have it any other way.
“How are you?” She asked her softly.
“I’m good,” she whispered at her, smiling before hiding her face in her dress.
“Are you having fun here? Did you meet buddy yet?”
“No!” Chloe’s face lit up.
“Well, what are we waiting for?” She gasped at them both, getting back up to her feet and walking with them to where Buddy hid in the laundry room.
He was curled into a ball in a basket of towels, peaceful in the quietest room in the house.
Chloe and Henry took turns petting Buddy, kissing his head and playing with his tail, it was good for him to get a little used to grabby kid's hands. She was a little worried about how he’d handle a baby, but he was a chill cat he never really cared about attention as long as he was fed.
Eventually, JJ and Lizzie found them, peeling them away from the cat with the promise of cake while Y/N opened her gifts from everyone.
Everyone was watching her as she sat down in the living room, feeling a little anxious like she had to perform for them or something. Spencer finally joined her on the couch then, wrapping his arm around her in a soothing motion.
“So,” Garcia started. “I took it upon myself to organize the party but I didn’t just stop there, I also emailed everyone a link to a chart where they could pick the category of gift they got you so that we avoided repeats and got everything you would need.”
“This is all so much,” she turned bright pink. “You guys really didn’t have to I feel like I haven’t bought anything for myself since I met Spencer.”
“Nonsense!” Penelope hushed her. “Here, pick whatever one grabs your fancy.”
Y/N’s eyes raked over the pile of gifts, “um that big one over there, why not.”
It was a big blue bag, stuffed to the brim with tissue paper. The card on the handle was signed, she opened it to find 'from; Erin Strauss' on it. “Oh?”
“She couldn’t come but she passed that along on behalf of the section,” Hotch explained.
Y/N didn’t waste any time opening it. Finding brand named everything that she would need for breastfeeding, losing her mind at the never-ending bag.
Almost every gift was the same, all themed and absolutely filled. She was never going to have to buy anything for Matthew, she got it all today.
Hotch and Haley got her a babies bath essentials set. Her parents equipped her with every form of linen she would ever need for a baby, as well as a quilt made just for Matthew.
Penelope bought easily $400 in clothes for him over the past 7 months, with the promise of not stopping any time soon. Derek and Emily got together to buy them an all-terrain stroller, for the walks they expect them to take down the back roads. Emily’s girlfriend even brought a mom after-care set for her.
Diana’s gift made her cry the most, opening the box to find old copies of childhood books. “Those were all Spencers when he was a child,” she explained softly. “His love for the world started with those stories, I would like for Matthew to know them too.”
“Absolutely,” Y/N wiped the tears off her face, leaning over to hug her. “If Matty ends up being even half as wonderful as Spencer I’ll be grateful.”
“Spencer, did you get her anything?” Diana asked him softly as she was still mid embrace with Y/N.
“It’s in the garage,” Spencer smiled.
She looked at him with excitement, “you didn’t!”
“I might have,” he smiled.
“What?” Rossi asked, hating suspense more than anyone on the team.
“I was joking about wanting to get an SUV and become a soccer mom,” Y/N’s whole face lit up. “Did you get me a soccer mom mobile?”
He smiled back at her, “here.”
She held the key in her hand, her car was old as hell. She has had it since she moved to Virginia and even then it was a 2004 model. She had never had a new car, with the fresh car smell and clean everything!
“I am so overwhelmed,” she announced, bouncing a little in her seat as she shook her hands. Stimming just a small amount in front of everyone in all the excitement.
“We’re all done celebrating you now, I think we can start getting out of your hair, right guys?” JJ stood and pressured everyone that wasn’t relying on their house for the night, out the door.
Penelope helped Debbie and Diana clean everything up around the house. Peeling Henry and Chloe away from each other was the most difficult part of the night, becoming fast friends and wanting to look at books all night together in uncle Spencers library.
Rossi offered to let her brother Levi and his wife stay at his place while Diana and Y/N’s parents took the guest room in her home. Harrison and Faith driving back to Fort Meade to their own house.
Y/N and Spencer sat up in their bed, leaning against the headboard as they listened to the quiet of their house. Their co-workers were gone, their parents were settled in the guest rooms and most likely still awake from the time difference. The day had been so crazy that she barely had time to wrap her head around it.
“So…” Y/N cut the awkward silence. “Wanna make out?”
He laughed at her, shaking his head. “Remember the last time you asked me to do that?”
“Yeah, I lost my virginity,” she whispered back at him. A little scared that everyone could hear them talking.
“We can't,” Spencer looked at her with wide eyes. “It's bad enough my mother knows I’ve had sex once let alone possibly hearing us.”
He nudged him a little, crawling into his lap and sitting there softly. Her belly pressed against him, filling the space between them as she held his face in her hands.
“They’re on the other side of the house,” she pouted. “Just make out with me?”
He kissed her quickly once, “why are you so needy tonight?”
“All day I’ve had everyone's attention but yours,” she explained softly. “I missed you and I want my Spencer time.”
He couldn’t say no to that, because he felt the exact same way. He ran his hands up her thighs, over her hips and finally resting them on her back. She ran her thumbs over Spencer's cheeks, looking at him softly as she tilted her head to really admire him.
His lips were perfect, his nose was adorable. The way his stubble grew in and darkened his jaw was amazing. His bone structure, his eye colour, the way his hair just fell flawlessly into place with 0 effort. She sighed as she looked at him.
“I love you,” she whispered, biting back a smile as she waited for his response.
“I love you,” he giggled as he looked right back at her. It almost felt more intimate than sex, just staring into each other's eyes in a dimly lit bedroom, in the middle of the night.
She ran her hands up into his hair, combing her fingers through it. He tilted his head back every time, closing his eyes and enjoying the feeling. She was about to smile when she got a sharp shooting pain in her hips.
“Oh, my, god,” she breathed out. “Ouch?” She scrunched her face with the pain as the sharpness dulled into the bone, just feeling uncomfortable as she tensed up in his lap. She didn’t even realize she was tugging on his hair in response to the pain.
“What?” Spencer asked, concerned as all hell.
“I think that was Braxton hicks? It was like everything down there just lit up in pain,” she explained with a horrified look on her face.
He ran his hands softly over her hips, soothing the skin in an attempt to help. “Are they bad?”
“It just feels like a pinched nerve at first and then a dull ache, it’s not the worst. I don’t enjoy it that's for sure,” she laughed a little louder. “God, I hope he’s kind to me on the way out.”
“I was doing research into the best drugs and techniques for birth for mothers that don’t want any drugs either because they’re sober or they don’t want to be removed from the moment,” Spencer explained softly. “There are a lot of options if you want to look into them with me this week?”
“Of course you did,” she smiled at him once again, feeling a bit better. “We also have to pack the baby’s go-bag.”
Spencer laughed at the way she phrased it. “Isn’t it just a hospital bag and a diaper bag?”
“No, it’s a mission to have a baby. It’s a go-bag.”
They kept giggling with each other over the dumbest things, staring at smiling as they laughed. Spencer’s hands roamed her back while she poked his face. Happily just talking in each other's space about the most random shit.
It was what she loved the most about him, that they could equally ramble about what they found interesting and the other felt just as excited about learning something new. They had mutual respect for each other's interests and feelings that ran deeper than most, truly loving every word that left their partner's mouth.
By the time they settled against the pillows and attempted to sleep it was half 1 in the morning. They turned all the lights out and still just stared at each other.
She booped his nose softly with her own, watching him scrunch his face as a result before giggling again.
“Do you have any idea what the case tomorrow will be?” She was only asking because she wanted more time with him, needing to find every topic to bring up so that the night never ended.
“Mindy’s pitching something to us tomorrow again,” he whispered. “You’ll be good at this one.”
“Oh I’m excited now okay, goodnight,” she closed her eyes and pretended to snore, making him snuggle in and wrap her arms around him, pulling her in close the way they liked it.
“I love you, bunny,” he said one last time for the night.
She sighed as she settled into him, “I love you more Spence.”
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petri808 · 3 years
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Nalu Yakuza Au *cover art by @jmoart214 💜
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The tit for tat game was well known to both of their top confidants and lieutenants because it had been going on ever since Natsu and Lucy broke up. Plus, it was hard to get around such knowledge considering most of them came from the same neighborhoods. These intrigues ebbed and flowed like waves. Months could pass by without any interactions between the two, at other times they’d go back and forth continuously until one of them finally gave up, and on the odd occasion ended in a huge fight that led to another round of ignoring each other. Up until now, it had been kind of amusing to watch them torture each other because it was better than a drama shows on television. But that didn’t mean Natsu, and Lucy’s friends didn’t worry about one or both being truly hurt one day because of it.
“It’s fine,” Natsu rolled his eyes as Gray chastised him after the soapland incident. The two men were at Natsu’s home after work hours and supposed to be relaxing. But clearly his friend didn’t want to drop the subject. “What’s the big deal?”
“Dude, you let yourself be blindfolded in a public space! Have you forgotten what kind of business we’re in? What if it had been an assassin instead?”
“Oh, that’s just ridiculous. We’re talking about Lucy’s company, and I trust their security measures because she has just as much to lose if a hit took place there.”
“Still, you should be more careful, at least take a bodyguard with you…”
Natsu’s eyebrow twitched in irritation. “And what, so they can watch the show? We got any voyeurs on the payroll? Cause I can’t think of anyone here who’d wanna see another guy getting his balls fondled!”
Gray ran a hand down his face. “So not the mental image I wanted. You’re missing the point.” He sighed. “Natsu you are the head of this clan, and your safety is my top priority.”
“I get it, I get it,” Natsu drawled.
“And frankly,” Gray continued, “you’ve become distracted by her lately.”
“Tch! No, I haven’t!”
“Yeah, you are. You think I haven’t noticed? I know you drive by her place sometimes. I know you’ve followed her to that coffee shop she likes to frequent. But ever since her employee was robbed, things have escalated again.”
“You’re imagining things and apparently spying on me. I’m just keeping an eye on the competition.”
“Watching over you is my job! That’s not spying.” Gray crossed his arms. “And oh, it’s no doubt that you’re keeping an eye on her. That’s why you went to Katsunuma’s party and to soapland too. The problem is you’re getting sloppy and sloppy gets people killed.”
Natsu groaned. “Are you done yet? We’re supposed to be enjoying the baseball game, not psychoanalyzing my life.”
“Almost.” Gray placed a hand on his friends’ knee and leaned in. “Natsu, you’ve been chasing that tail since high school, just lock her down and convince her to work together already.”
Natsu snorted a laugh. “Gray we all grew up together, so what in all these years makes you think that’s a possibility? You know damn well Lucy’s not a woman you can control without her consent.” Natsu knew that, and frankly he loved that part of her. In fact, it made him even more fired up whenever he thought about it, just like a treasure you don’t just find but must win at the end of a game. “I’ll find a way, some day.”
“Well until that day arrives, could you promise me you’ll be more cautious?”
“Fine, fine,” Natsu waved his hand. “I’ll back off of Lucy for now.”
“Good.” Gray relaxed back onto his recliner thinking the drama was over.
“However, there is a new guy I want surveillance placed on.”
“Who?”
“The bartender from the party.”
Gray groaned. “Seriously? Why? He’s just a bartender!”
“I don’t trust him.”
“Was he spiking the drinks or something? Dealing drugs at the party?”
“Maybe.”
Gray huffed. “You really gonna try that? Do I look like an idiot? This is just straight jealousy talking.”
“I don’t care! I want someone to dig up what they can on the guy!”
“No, what you wanna know is if he fucked Lucy that night!”
Natsu jumped up with his fists clenched. “Fuck you!”
“Fuck you too!” Gray stood up and matched his boss’s energy. “Unless you give me a damn good reason to check into him, I’m not wasting my guy’s time! You might be the boss, but don’t you fucking forget who you’re talking to! I’m not some punk off the streets!”
Realizing he was taking things too far, Natsu sat back down. “Sorry.”
Gray sighed and plopped back down too. “I only joined because you asked me to and you’re my best friend, then I helped you build this new empire, so I’m just as invested in protecting it as you are. But Natsu, personal emotions have led to the downfall of many in this business, and as a friend, I’ll check you any time I think you’re going to far.”
“You’re right…” Natsu sighed too. “She just gets me so worked up.”
“Don’t I know it,” Gray laughed, but stopped when Natsu glared at him. “Sorry, it slipped out.”
“But I swear, there’s something suspicious about him. When he saw me, I thought he just reacted because he thought I was Lucy’s boyfriend or something, but the more I think about it, he might have recognized me.”
“Well, that wouldn’t necessarily be suspicious either.”
“True. But the look in his eyes just made me wonder.”
“Alright…” Gray groaned, “if it’ll make you feel better, I’ll have someone do some digging. So, you said he has orange hair and glasses, and the name on his tag was Loke?”
“Yeah.”
“That’s an unusual name, shouldn’t be too hard to check on.”
Over the course of a couple of weeks, Gray sent out feelers for any information on this Loke guy. Katsunuma junior gave them their first small lead that the bartender had worked the party through a local food catering company. That catering company was a legitimate business who had both full-time staff as well as independent contractors brought in per event as needed. Loke had been one of the latter. From there Gray obtained a last name, de Lioncourt.
According to his sources at the local precinct, Loke de Lioncourt had no rap sheet, no prior dealings with police, and for all they knew was an average citizen. The man’s Line blog profile listed him as a 28-year-old, Japanese/French American, model and bartender, and it was filled with pictures from events, parties, as well as many gorgeous women— none of which contained Lucy. But as Gray trolled through the man’s feed, he did come across one person he recognized and passed the information along to Natsu.
“Wow, she’s in a bunch of photos,” Natsu mumbled as he scrolled through the blog.
“Well, considering Cana’s reputation are you surprised. Parties and alcohol are the two things that woman lives for.” Gray laughed. “Now see, this makes sense to me. Lucy and him, not so much.”
“Tch… still pisses me off he even tried.”
“Lucy’s a free woman, she can go out with whoever she wants to.”
“We’ll see about that,” Natsu mumbled low.
“What was that?” Gray asked with a raised brow.
“Nothing.”
“Better be nothing, cause this is a dead end. He’s just a flirty bartender. It’s how they make tips.”
“Yeah, yeah, fine.” Natsu sat back in his chair. “So, back to business. What this I heard about some missing stock?”
“Oh, right. One of the warehouse clerks noticed a shortage, but when I checked with Yura, he said the books were fine. I had him show it to me, and it appears the numbers were just inverted by accident. So, instead of 185 kilos, it’s supposed to be 158 kilos.”
“Did you talk to the clerk again? Does he have any history of messing up like this?”
“Nah, he’s one of our better clerks.”
“Just keep an eye on it.”
“Sure thing, boss. By the way, have you seen Gajeel today?” Gray questioned. “I haven’t seen him.”
“He called me this morning said he wasn’t feeling well, thinks he ate something bad for dinner last night.”
“Tch, seriously? Thought he had an iron stomach?”
Natsu shrugged. “Must’a been some bad sushi or something. We ain’t got much happening today, so it’s fine. Anything else? I got some stuff I need to finish.”
Gray tapped his chin. “Just a reminder you have an appointment with our tech guy dropping by later this week to go over some upgrades on the system.”
“Like I’m supposed to know anything about that stuff, it’s what I pay him for.”
“You still gotta approve it,” Gray shrugged and took his leave.
Once the man was completely out of the office, Natsu opened a drawer in his desk and pulled out a nondescript box he’d hidden inside. He grinned to himself. It was time to make another special delivery. Even though he’d told Gray he was backing off the whole Lucy and Loke subject, there was no way he was gonna let it slide. Natsu didn’t care if the man seemed legit, and he wasn’t the first nor would probably be the last that he’d eventually scared away. And besides, being a Yakuza boss had a lot of down times too, easily filled with having a little fun.
Today’s little care package was being sent to Lucy by a courier service and Natsu just had to drop it off to the delivery company. Just a normal company like Kuroneko Yamato so it wouldn’t rouse too many suspicions. It was turning into a fun game for him just coming up with ideas of what he could do to rile Lucy up or irritate this Loke guy. Natsu chuckled to himself. So far, his favorite prank was a box of small sized condoms and a bottle of enhancement pills that he’d had delivered to Loke while on the job at another party. He’d even snuck in to watch it delivered, gaining a good laugh when the man took a peek in the box and frowned at its contents.
It was childish, but Natsu didn’t care. Every day for two weeks now, something new was sent to Loke. Random gifts like children’s candy to a toy gun, a big bottle of lubricant wrapped in a bow, a week’s worth of meals sent for lunch one day, even an empty box with rocks inside it just to drive the man crazy wondering who in the world was sending them. Lucy too wasn’t immune to his pranks, though hers had a different feel to them. Flowers with no note attached. Tickets to a canceled show he made up. A supposed dinner invite from Loke that wasn’t real— okay that was to test her, but she didn’t fall for it. And today’s little care package fit right into his prank scheme.
Natsu dropped off the package at a Kuroneko Yamato office with the address instructions already filled out and paid the company’s employee extra to keep their mouths shut. ‘She’s gonna kill me one day,’ he laughed to himself as he rode back to his office. ‘If it’s suffocation by her boobs it wouldn’t be a bad way to go!’
“Anymore stops sir?” The driver asked Natsu.
“Nope. Back to the office.”
He looked at his watch. The package should be arriving at Lucy’s office within the hour. Give or take another to open it, and by 4pm he would be receiving another phone call. Maybe he won’t answer it. Oh, that would piss her off even more! ‘Well, if she’d just take the hint...’
The afternoon was supposed to be mellow at headquarters that day. No shipments, and no appointments. But when Natsu got back, another general in the organization named Jellal Fernandez came to his office to inform him of a problem. One of the new local restaurants in their territory was refusing to cooperate and he wanted to know how Natsu wanted it handled. They were right in the middle of discussing it, when Natsu’s office door flew open with a loud bang!
In stomped Lucy who immediately threw a box at his head, causing Natsu to duck and Jellal to pull his gun.
“Don’t!” Natsu screamed at his general and motioned for him to stand down, to which the man complied. “Do you have a death wish Lucy!”
“Get. Out.” She snapped at the general. “Get out! This is between me and your boss!”
Jellal looked to Natsu, who nodded his head to scram. “I got this, don’t worry.” The man holstered his gun and left, but Natsu could see he’d stayed right outside of the now closed door.
“I take it you didn’t like the gift,” Natsu pretended to stay calm.
“Gee, me throwing it at you give you that impression? I know it’s you sending all these damn deliveries to me and Loke. That needs to stop now!”
He crossed his arms and scoffed. “I don’t know what you’re talking about.”
“Play dumb all you want. Just stop! Why are you even doing this?!”
“Take a guess,” he sneered back.
“I could’ve sworn we were adults now, but apparently I’m the only one who grew up. Stay out of my love life Natsu!”
“So, you admit you’re sleeping with the guy!”
“That’s none of your damn business! I can fuck whoever I want!”
“Not as long as I’m alive,” Natsu growled back.
Lucy crossed her arms. “That could be arranged.”
“Is that a threat?!”
“Yes! If you don’t stay out of my love life!”
“A woman shouldn’t be sleepi—”
“Don’t you finish that sentence!” Lucy grabbed a stapler that was within reach and chucked it at Natsu’s head. “Stop trying to control me!”
“Are you crazy?!”
At that moment, Gray barged into the room. He’d heard the screaming from the other side of the office, and when he got close enough to see Jellal standing outside the door, he became alarmed. Why would a general leave Natsu vulnerable! The man told him their boss told him to leave, but as the sounds inside escalated, Gray couldn’t wait anymore.
“Stop it!!” Gray got between them. “What are you two doing! Lucy you shouldn’t be here!”
“Then tell your damn boss to leave me the fuck alone!” Lucy spat back. “Ask him how he’s been harassing Loke and me!”
Gray turned to his boss with a groan. “Natsu, we talked about this!”
“Tell Gray what you been doing!” Lucy pressed. “Show him the stupid packages you send!”
“What packages?” Gray looked to Lucy, then repeated the question as he stared at his boss. “What packages?”
“Tch,” Natsu crossed his arms, “it’s not even that bad.”
Lucy stomped over to where the box fell and picked it up, pulling the contents out. “Bullshit!” She snapped as she held up a very racy, red nightie with flame prints, a pair of fluffy handcuffs, and a large dildo. “See this shit?!” Lucy shook the floppy latex toy at Gray before chucking it to the ground again. “He includes messages too,” then handed the man a folded piece of paper.
Gray read it aloud, “to make up for what playboy lacks. Had it custom made to my size wink wink. Ugh, seriously man,” he tossed the letter.
Natsu shrugged. “I was just having fun.”
“This is the yakuza, not a daycare!” Gray snaps. “I’m not here to babysit the boss so he stops harassing the competition! There’s more important business to worry about!”
“That’s right listen to Gray,” Lucy sneered.
Gray turned to her. “Oh, you ain’t innocent either, so don’t even try it. You both do things to purposely rile the other up and get mad when there’s consequences. Stop it!” He looked back and forth between the two. “Just stop it already!”
Natsu and Lucy looked away from the man with scowls on their faces. Neither wanted to admit he was right.
“Jellal,” Gray called out. When the man entered, he instructed him to escort Lucy out of there. “Next time, just call me instead. It’s best you two just stay away from each other. Got it?!”
“Yeah,” Lucy grumped.
“Got it?!” Gray questioned his boss.
“Yeah,” Natsu mumbled.
“Fucking like high school,” Gray ran a hand down his face in irritation. “You two need therapy.”
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amortentiaparker · 3 years
Text
when nothing feels right ❀ p.parker
summary: nothing just seems to go your way and peter’s there to make you feel better.
pairing: peter parker x fem!reader
word count: 1.5k
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masterlist
Everything was hell. School works were piling on top of each other, your home life couldn’t seem to quiet down, and your body was dealing with all of this stress by somehow making it worse because the pounding on your head won’t leave.
Rain drizzled on you earlier this morning despite the news saying it would be a sunny day, your subjects for the day required hardbound textbooks which made your backpack ten times heavier than usual, and you got yelled at by some random dude in the street because he mistook you as the person who stepped on his shoes.
All you really wanted was simple. A nice hot cup of tea, watch some of your comfort movies without a care in the world, and some time with Peter. 
You couldn’t really demand any attention from him on a whim because he was not even your boyfriend. Yet. 
The two of you were teetering on the edge of something romantic, but you knew there were traces of hesitation from Peter because of his duties as Spiderman. You two were friends but definitely didn’t act like it. Hand holding under the cafeteria table, kisses on the forehead that lingered longer than what is considered normal, and it was all in the gaze you two gave each other. You and Peter protested when your friends pointed it out and teased you two about it. Ned and MJ’s winning argument was when they showed a photo of you and Peter during a decathlon practice. It was as mundane as it gets, a regular Tuesday, but that’s what made it a lot more heartwarming. You and Peter had this gaze as if the other put the stars in the sky, and when you saw the photo, the two of you admitted defeat.
As you recalled that moment, you were brought back to reality. It was a Friday decathlon practice but Peter was nowhere to be found. He was present earlier but when he sent a short message with a heart emoji after your last class for the day, you knew that he was out there in the streets of New York patrolling. 
You flushed when Mr. Harrington called you out during the start of the meeting, asking about the whereabouts of your boyfriend. Ned and MJ snickered when you struggled to answer and correct your teacher. 
Thankfully, the practice ended around 30 minutes earlier than usual. You were falling behind answering which frustrated you to no end, so you were looking forward to attempting to de-stress. But the thought of having to go home early immediately drained you. Arguments didn’t cease in your house and you were tired. So tired.
You sluggishly exited the classroom and proceeded to do the same as you walked towards the subway. Your friends offered to walk you home, Peter’s chivalry rubbing off on all of you, but you declined, wanting to just pop in your earphones and listen to sad songs during the ride home. 
You texted Peter that practice ended early, hoping he’ll appreciate the simple update while he patrolled. 
peter <3: great! wanna hang out at my place?
You were taken aback by his reply. He usually didn’t want you seeing him all sweaty, sometimes bruised and bloody, after his patrol so you enthusiastically replied a yes, not wanting to come home to your place just yet. This was an opportunity to unwind and spend some time with the boy you’ve been pining after. 
Taking the bus to Peter’s place instead saved you more time, which got you all giddy to see him. This week has taken its toll and you can barely remember the time within the week where you felt energized. 
May let you in and she had a mischievous shimmer in her eye when she said that she had somewhere to go, letting you wait for Peter all on your own. You felt at ease knowing that May was comfortable in trusting you with her home. The ease kind of faded when she winked as she mentioned you and Peter being all alone in the apartment. 
You were seated on the couch, scrolling on your phone, when you nearly got a heart attack. 
“Hey.” Was all you heard before your fight or flight senses took over. 
“Woah! It’s just me!” Peter chuckled as he saw that you now held a lamp in both your hands. 
“Don’t do that!” You scolded him as you put the lamp back in its place. Hopefully you didn’t pull a wire or else you will definitely beg on your knees in front of May, not wanting to break her trust. 
“Where’s your suit?” You asked as he opened his arms for you to step into. It was comfortable. Familiar. The type of feeling you’d want in the future as you come home after a long day. 
“Already changed,” Peter shrugged and rested his cheek on the top of your head. “Why? You wanna check me out, don’t you?”
“Shut up.” You lightly punched his arm but didn’t pull away from the embrace. 
Peter pulled away first, but not fully breaking contact as he cupped both your cheeks in his hands. It was silent, but it didn’t bother anyone, not when he was looking at you like that. He tucked a stray piece of hair behind your ear and you nearly purred at how gentle Peter was with you. 
“You’re tired.” He pointed out with a soft voice. It sounded more like an observation rather than a question. You nearly burst into tears out of how tired you were but opted to close your eyes instead, letting your other senses take your surroundings in. The familiar honey scent of Peter, the sound of his soft breathing, and his gentle touch grounded you. You barely nodded to yourself; Yep. This is what you want for the rest of your life. 
You hummed out a yes and opened your eyes when you felt Peter’s touch pull away. He was wordlessly fixing the throw pillows on the couch, and he fiddled with the TV remote for a moment. Your heart nearly burst when you saw that he clicked on Little Women, one of your absolute favorites. 
Peter knew all your favorite movies like the back of his hand. He knew that Little Women was your go to when you needed a pick me up. He’ll put on Mamma Mia when he sees that you were energetic and have the need to sing along or any Rachel McAdams rom-com when you wanted to devour ice cream and sob. Peter also knew that you weren’t that big of a fan of Star Wars but he sometimes put it on simply because you cuddled up next to him every single time and he adored every single second of it. 
You turned to head into his bedroom to get some blankets, but you halted and looked at Peter, wordlessly asking for permission and he nodded. Unbeknownst to the other, you two were thinking of the same thing. How great it is to have somebody that you understand with just a single look. 
You exited Peter’s room with not just blankets in your hand but one of Peter’s hoodies on your body. You already had one of his midtown sweaters at home but forgot to bring it today, which added to your sour mood earlier. You knew that he didn’t mind anyways. Peter has seen you multiple times with his jacket, sweater, or hoodie on but his grin at the sight only grows bigger every time. 
The sun has officially set after a few minutes and the city lights of New York have come to life. Peter opted to leave the lights turned off and let the light from outside fill the living room. You didn’t mind, it felt intimate and you weren’t afraid to feel that way with him. 
Fifteen minutes into the movie, you paused it and got up to go to the kitchen. You felt Peter’s curious eyes on you.
“Want some tea?” You asked. You knew that Peter preferred coffee over that anytime, but he still said yes when you offered. You’re the only one he says yes to tea to. 
“Later,” Peter’s eyes flickered from the screen then back to you. “You get sleepy after you drink tea.” 
You playfully gasped, “I do not!”
“C’mon,” He tugged on your wrist, pulling you back next to him. “I’ll make us tea later.”
Whether Peter purposely pulled you even closer than before, you didn’t say anything. Instead, you let your head rest on his shoulder and watched as the March sisters laughed with one another. 
When Peter went to get up when he found it to be an appropriate time to make your drink, he felt that you were much heavier on him than earlier. He realized that he was so entranced by the movie and your presence, that his heightened senses did not pick up that you had fallen asleep. The steady rhythm of your heartbeat was constant and always calmed him down, so it didn’t occur to him that you had fallen into slumber. 
He reached for the remote and lowered the volume as the infamous scene of Jo and Laurie started. Peter was about to scoop you into his arms but decided to stay for the scene. 
His heart started to ache as he thought about what could happen if he confessed to you and you rejected him. But as you nuzzled your face into his neck and he felt the faint kiss you placed, he knows that one of these days he’ll let his feelings be known; a day when the time feels right. 
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