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ceealaina · 4 years

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Out in the Cold

Title: Out in the Cold Author: ceealaina Rating: T Square Filled: G3 [Snowman] - @winterironbingo Y2 [Butts, Biceps, and Barnes] - @buckybarnesbingo Pairing: WinterIron Summary: Avengers press events are one of the worst parts of the whole superhero gig. But getting paired with Barnes (the man he just happens to have an unrepentant crush on) for an afternoon of snowman building? Tony’s had worse days. Link: AO3

Tony drew in a deep breath, preparing himself as best he could before the elevator doors opened and he was met with the rest of the team, looking up at him with hopeful, expectant faces.

“Sorry guys,” he told them, watching their faces fall one by one. “It’s a no go. We’re roped into this one, no excuses.”

“Aww, come on,” Clint protested, slumping back into the couch cushions and pouting as he folded his arms across his chest. “But I don’t wanna.”

Nat smacked the back of his head.

Steve was the first to rally, because of course he was. “Come on, team. This is important. Like it or not, public relations is an important part of what we do.”

It might have been more believable if he wasn’t wincing like the words caused him physical pain. Beside him, Bucky rolled his eyes so hard it looked physically painful. Tony felt his lips twitch as he fought back a laugh, but of course Bucky noticed, giving him a wink that made heat flare low in his belly. The crush he had on Barnes was really getting ridiculous.

“But it’s a freaking snowman building contest,” Clint whined. “What is this, the Christmas fun fair? We’re superheroes!”

As per usual, everyone ignored him, reluctantly accepting that they weren’t getting out of this particular PR event and breaking up to do whatever it was that superheroes did on a Tuesday afternoon. For Tony, that meant brewing a fresh pot of coffee. He was leaning over the counter, inhaling the smell (it had been a very long morning) when he suddenly realized that Bucky was beside him, leaning back against the counter and looking down at him. Tony managed to keep himself from jumping, instead slowly raising his eyes to meet Bucky’s and waiting.

“So.” Bucky gave him a grin, nudging him with a shiny metal elbow. “Wanna be partners?”

Tony arched an eyebrow at him, straightening up again. “Partners?”

“For the snowman building thing. We’re supposed to pair up, right? I’m calling dibs.”

Tony fought back the pleased looking grin that threatened to split across his face. “Moi?” he said instead, fluttering his eyelashes ridiculously until Bucky snorted and gave him a gentle shove. “Kinda figured you’d be pairing up with our fearless leader there, Buckaroo.”

Bucky looked so incredulous that Tony found himself fighting back a laugh. “ Stevie ?” he asked. “Nuh-uh, no way. I know how ridiculous that idiot gets over ‘art.’”

“Snowman building is an art now?”

“It will be to him. He’ll get all particular and bossy... Nope, Sam can have ‘im.”

“Oh well, in that case.” Tony held out his hand, beaming when Bucky grabbed it and gave it a firm shake. “You’ve got yourself a deal, Snowflake. Let’s win this thing.”

***

The day of the competition dawned bright and clear. It hadn’t snowed in three weeks, but they’d brought in a snow machine special for the occasion. It was being held on the compound, giving the public a chance to see first-hand the private lives of their favourite superheroes, or some other public relations nonsense that had them all cringing a little. Ticket holders would get a tour of the more public areas of the compound before watching the snowman building competition and then there would be hot chocolate, cookies, and mingling inside. All the ticket money was going to charity, which explained away the sky high prices -- and, unfortunately, also explained away the number of rich, society-climbers who were attending.

Tony, however, with the help of Friday and some carefully crafted aliases, had managed to buy about half the tickets himself, giving them away to underprivileged kids from the city, with free transportation included. It made them all feel a bit better about how weirdly invasive the whole thing seemed.

Spectators had started arriving hours before it was due to start, and by the time they all trooped outside for the actual competition, they were wound up and cheering.

“Oh boy,” Tony muttered, quiet enough that only Bucky would hear as he put on his brightest press smile and waved with mitten-clad hands. “No pressure or anything.”

Bucky grinned and, when they’d turned out of view of everyone, winked. “Come on, Stark. We’ve totally got this.”

Tony grinned up at him. “Fuck yeah.”

***

One hundred and fourteen minutes later, he wasn’t so sure. They should have had it in the bag. Three entries down from them, Wanda and Vision were making a fucking ice sculpture, which, what the fuck? Whatever, they’d lose on a technicality -- it was a snowman competition, not an ice man competition, thank you very much. Nat and Peter had given up about ten minutes in, and Nat had spent the entire time showing Peter her favourite moves on the lopsided snow block that they’d created. Clint had ended up pairing with Bruce, who had bowed out at the last minute due to rage issues (they all knew he was faking it). Clint had built the most cursory snowman ever and then wandered off in search of a warm drink and hadn’t come back.

The problem was that Tony kept getting distracted. Barnes’ pants seemed extra tight today, or maybe it was just the cut of his new ski jacket, but either way his ass looked phenomenal today. On more than one occasion, Tony had had to shake himself out of a temporary, butt-induced stupor. And, like most super soldiers, Bucky had a tendency to run hot. Hot enough that at some point he’d stripped out said ski jacket, leaving him in that tightly fitted red Henley that featured in many of Tony’s favourite fantasies, biceps bulging as he lifted heavy mounds of snow.

Not that ogling Barnes’ butts and biceps (and thighs, and back, and face…) was a bad way to spend an afternoon necessarily. But while Tony had been distracted, Team WinterIron’s (Bucky’s idea, but Tony had to admit the name was growing on him) snowman had come out looking kind of… aggressive. He had a frown, with angry eyebrows, and Tony was pretty sure that Bucky was putting the finishing touches on a gun belt around the snowman’s waist. It looked especially bad next to the all-American Christmas scene that Sam and Steve had built beside them, complete with a bald eagle, because Sam thought he was hilarious. (He kind of was, but Bucky wouldn’t let Tony give Sam the satisfaction of knowing that.)

Tony frowned at their entry speculatively, trying to figure out if there was anything else they could do in the six -- no, five minutes remaining. “It looks like it could kill someone,” Tony announced, poking at it haphazardly.

Bucky shrugged, offering him a grin over the top of the snow-ssassin’s head. “That’s kinda what I like about ‘im.”

“No!” Steve wailed behind them. “That line has to be at 45 degrees, Sam. Fourty. Five! Not fourty six!”

Tony caught Bucky’s eye and the two of them burst out laughing.

***

They lost, because of course they did, but it was hard to feel too bad about it. They’d had a great afternoon, laughing and throwing snow at each other, and Tony at least had all but forgotten about the adoring public watching their every move. Sam, on the other hand, looked ready to punch Steve’s teeth in, and had spent the afterparty thus far studiously avoiding the other man. Tony would take Team WinterIron’s second place standing in a heartbeat.

The party was, at least, going better than Tony had expected. They’d been able to avoid the most annoying of the donors by hanging out with the kids the whole time -- nobody could really call them out on it unless they were an irredeemable asshole, and while there were one or two of those present, a stern lecture from Captain America on the reason they were all really there had been enough to deter them from making a fuss. There were Christmas trees and lights decorating the area, and Pepper was an absolute angel who’d managed to arrange for a Santa Claus to come and give out gifts to all the kids. Even Clint had warmed up to the event, and they all seemed to be actually having a good time.

Tony had slipped away for a breather and was standing half hidden behind a Christmas tree, sipping on warmed apple cider, when he felt someone looming up behind him. Lips curling up in a smirk, he glanced back at Bucky.

“You’ve gotta stop sneaking up on me there, Bucky Bear.”

Bucky grinned back at him. “But where would the fun be in that?”

Tony rolled his eyes. “So, did you get a chance to see Santa? Tell him what you want for Christmas?”

“Well…”

There was an odd tone to his voice, and Tony glanced at him to find… was he blushing ? He blinked at Bucky, who bit his lower lip and seemed to steel himself.

“All I want for Christmas is you.”

Tony stared at him a minute, and then he started to laugh, pleased and delighted. “Are you…Is this a joke?”

Bucky shrugged, looking shy but hopeful. “Delivery, maybe,” he admitted with a crooked grin, voice a little hoarse. “But not the sentiment behind it.”

Tony beamed at him and then, after a quick look to make sure nobody was watching them, he darted forward to plant a quick kiss on Bucky’s lips.

At least, it was meant to be a quick kiss. Bucky’s hands came up faster than he’d expected, gripping his waist and pulling him in close, deepening the kiss. They were both breathing a bit harder when they pulled away.

“Yeah,” Tony admitted, having to clear his throat when his voice came out a little more high-pitched and giddy than he’d intended. “Yeah, that sounds like a good Christmas gift to me.”

Bucky positively beamed at him, giving him another quick kiss, a little more needy this time. Tony hummed softly, and was just wondering how long they’d have to stick around before they could reasonably slip away, when another thought occurred to him.

“Wait, aren’t you Jewish?”

Bucky just shook his head and laughed. “Shut up, Stark.”

#buckybarnesbingo2019 #winterironbingo2019 #winteriron #tony stark #bucky barnes #fluff #steve rogers #clint barton #sam wilson #getting together #winter #domestic avengers #fic #my fic

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impala-dreamer · 7 years

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Unbelievable

SPN FanFic

~Dean gets a little jealous when the new guy catches your eye~

Dean x Reader, Mr. Ketch, Sam

1,426 Words

Warnings: Nothing but fluff, maybe a little Dean Drama

A/N: For @bringmesomepie56 after our convo Thursday night. Not exactly what I said, but this is what came out ;)

“Well, thanks for your help, I guess.”

The Englishman smiled. It seemed friendly, genuine, but it never made it up to his eyes. There was something else in there. Something calculating, secret; something that drew you in despite your suspicions. “You are a lot more gracious than your friends,” he remarked, giving a faint nod towards the Winchesters. They were waiting by the car, uninterested in making any form of small talk with Mr. Ketch, even if he had just stepped in at the last minute to save your asses.

“Yeah, they have trust issues,” you laughed, taking a peek at the boys over your shoulder. Sam was leaning against his door, eyes narrow and observant, making sure you were ok. Dean was behind him, one foot in the driver's side, his fingers tapping impatiently on the Impala’s hood.

“And you don't?” His smooth voice brought your attention back to him. The look in his eyes was still a mystery to you.

“Oh, I do, but I can also be easily swayed.” You bit your lip, giving him a flirtatious smirk.

“I’ll have to remember that.”

Dean banged on the hood behind you. “Y/N! Let’s hit the road!”

With a dramatic sigh, you smiled again at Ketch, “Thanks again.”

“I’ll be seeing you soon Ms. Y/L/N,” he replied and backed away towards his motorcycle.

Spinning in place, you turned towards the boys and ran to the car. “You guys need to chill OK?”

“Just get in,” Dean growled and followed his own instruction.

Once everyone was packed away, Dean pulled away from the curb without a word to you. You shrugged and stared out your window, watching with interest as Mr. Ketch flew by on his bike.

“Hot damn,” you muttered, watching the black motorcycle zoom past.

Dean lifted his gaze to the mirror, “What?”

“Nothing,” you answered, a little embarrassed that he had heard your comment.

He didn’t take that as a response and asked again, a trace of annoyance evident in his voice, “What did u say?”

Sam spoke up for you, “She said ‘hot damn’.”

“I heard what she said,” Dean snapped. “Why? For that asshole?”

You sat up, meeting his green eyes in the mirror, “Hey Dean, I'm a woman; I have needs.” You crossed your arms, hoping to shut him up. “Needs I'm sure Mr. Ketch is more than equipped to fulfill.”

The car swerved a little as Dean turned around to look at you. “Are u kidding me? He's a psychopath!”

You shrugged and looked back out of the window, “Eh, I've had worse.”

He huffed and turned back to the road, “Unbelievable.” With a flick of his wrist, Dean turned on the radio, filling the car with a screeching guitar riff and ending any further conversation on the matter.

You ignored his tantrum and let your mind wander back to the assassin that had so recently piqued your interest. So he was technically one of the bad guys right now, but maybe he wasn’t. And what did it matter anyway? You were allowed to flirt with whomever you wanted. You belonged to no one. Ketch was hot, you were hungry; could make for a fun time.

It wasn’t a long ride back to the Bunker, but it the silence made it feel like days. When you were finally home, you grabbed your bag from the trunk and scurried off towards your room, Dean not far behind.

He hadn’t said a word the entire trip, but he spoke up now, just as you were passing through the War Room.

“I can't believe you,” he said loudly, his deep voice echoing through the quiet room.

You rolled your eyes and turned to face him, dropping your bag on a chair by the table. “Are you still on about this? He's hot, I'm sorry.”

Dean shook his head in shock, “How can you think that after everything he's done?”

“What,” you asked, taking a defensive pose, your hands falling to rest against your hips. “Saved our lives, what, three times now? And besides I have a thing for accents.”

Dean did not seem to like that answer one bit and pouted his reply, “I have an accent.”

“No, you do not.”

“I so do!” He argued, his face reddening with some emotion you couldn’t quite place.

“Not like Ketch. Or Mick for that matter. He's kinda sexy too, in a ‘bookworm, know-it-all’ kind of way.” You laughed, thinking about the other man. “Wait, why are you so upset about this?”

“I'm not.” He looked away, frowning and trying to push your comment away.

You looked at him with narrowed eyes, “You are.” His eyes flashed back to you for a second and his expression softened, making everything click in your mind. “Are you… jealous, Dean?”

He panicked instantly, shaking his head wildly, “What? No!”

“Oh my god, you are! Holy hell, Dean Winchester is jealous!” You laughed. You knew it was mean, but you couldn’t help it. In all the time you’d known him, you had never once seen him like this.

“Shut up!” He barked, turning away as Sam entered the room.

“Sam,” you called to the younger Winchester, “Your brother is jealous. I’ll be damned!”

Sam shook his head and walked right on by, not stopping even when he answered, “I’m not getting involved in this.”

“So it’s true,” you continued your teasing, moving around the table to stand closer to Dean. “You are jealous.” You poked at his arm with two fingers, prodding him to join in the fun. “Deanie is jelly! This is just too much. Why the hell would you be jealous of Ketch? That’s too funny.”

His back was to you, but he turned his head so you could see his face just a bit. He was not laughing. In fact he seemed hurt by your tormenting. Your laughter fell away and a twinge of guilt passed over you, “Dean, I’m sorry.” You lay your hand on his shoulder, dipping your head towards his, trying to get him to look at you. “Dude, what’s wrong? Tell me.”

“Just forget it,” he mumbled and moved away.

“No! Dean, come on. Talk to me!” You grabbed his hand and pulled him to you.

He turned and sighed. “Maybe I am jealous, OK,” he confessed, his fingers closing around your hand.

“But, why?” You stared up into his sad eyes, still confused by his words.

“You’re such an idiot Y/N,” he laughed, bringing his free hand up to cup your cheek. You pulled away a fraction of an inch, startled by his movement, but then froze, letting everything sink into place.

“You… like me.” You meant it to be a question, but it didn’t come out that way. There was no way Dean liked you, not like that. You’d seen the girls he picked up on the road, seen his head tilt when a pretty thing walked by. Never once had you turned his head like that.

Again he laughed, “I thought you knew.”

“I most definitely did not. Dean, I…” Before you could find the words you wanted, he bent his head down to you, the tip of his nose hitting yours, your foreheads touching gently. Your heart was pounding, blood roaring in your ears; you could not believe this was happening. Your eyes closed slowly, and then it happened: Dean kissed you. The instant your lips met, everything changed. You came alive, your mind raced and your skin flushed. You raised your arms and wrapped them around his neck, pulling him closer as you parted your lips for him. His tongue peeked through your teeth, brushing against yours. He tasted bitter like that morning's coffee and sweet like the peppermint you'd seen him sucking on in the car. That is so perfectly Dean, you thought; hard and soft, light and dark, bitter and sweet.

The kiss ended naturally, as kisses so often do, with uncontrollable smiles and tiny gasps for air. Dean’s eyes fluttered open to find you staring, the shock of the moment slowly fading into acceptance and then desire. Dean had been on your ‘no fly list’ for so long, now that you knew he wanted you, you couldn't figure out how to move forward any way but hand in hand. So that's what you did.

Without a word you took his hand, threading your fingers between his, and lead the way down the endless hallways towards his room; determined to show him that he had no reason to be jealous.

Forevers: @1-800-misha @amanda-teaches @arryn-nyxx @atc74 @autopistaaningunaparte @ayeeitsemry @bea789 @because-imma-lady-assface @babypieandwhiskey @blanketmadeofstar @brewsthespirit-blog @britt-spn @buckysmetallicstump @bulletscrossbowpie @charliebradbury1104 @chaos-and-the-calm67 @chelsea072498 @cici0507 @clairese1980 @collectivekiera @cosmicpeanuthologram @createdbybadappreciation @cyrilconnelly @dannnyphantomm @dancingalone21 @deadinside-muser @deanxfuckingadorablexwinchester @demonangelimpala @docharleythegeekqueen @dustycelt @evyiione @faithfulpanicmoon @feelmyroarrrr @flowermisha @freaksforthewin @frenchybell @fuckyeahfeysand @gemini75eeyore @ghostkitty1103 @hamartiamacguffin @impalaimagining @im-super-potter-locked @inmysparetime0 @jpadjackles @jotink78 @kristaparadowski @kas-not-cas @katrodriguez99 @lavendellove @love-kittykat21 @luciisthebest @maddieburcham1 @mamaredd123 @mogaruke @megafrontliner311 @megansescape @mija-novella @milkymilky-cocopuff @mogaruke @mrsbatesmotel53 @mrswhozeewhatsis @my-life-is-here-soo @myfand0msandm0re @mysteriouslyme81 @naadestiel @notesfromalabprincess @notnaturalanahi @obi-wan-my-only-ho @pain-of-artifice @percussiongirl2017 @percywinchester27 @petrovadixon @pinknerdpanda @poukothenerd @riddikulus-obsessions @riversong-sam @sam-winchesters-long-locks @sarahgrace-1989 @scxrchy @smoothdogsgirl @spectaculicious @spontaneousam @summer-binging-spn @superbasementflower @supernaturallymarvellous @supernaturalyobessed @tennesseewhiskey-and-pie @thecynicalnerd @the-latina-trickster @therewillbeblood @tom-is-in-my-tardis @typicalweirdbookworm @thegreatficmaster @vine-colored-assbutt @whatareyousearchingfordean @wi-deangirl77 @wvnchxstxr @xxthevampirediariesexpertxx @yearoftheweasley @youtubehelpsmesurvive @yvngkinggchristyy

The Dean’s List: @anokhi07 @assbutt-fan @bringmesomepie56 @deangirl-withanimpala @delessapeace-blog @ellexirmalfoy @just-a-touch-of-sass-and-fandoms @leather-moccasin-hero @msdooos @mskitty416 @ruprecht0420 @soullessbabee @tmccarney @torn-and-frayed @twoboys-and-afallenangel @vesperlady04

**** IF YOU SEE THAT YOUR NAME IS CROSSED OUT- TUMBLR REFUSES TO LET ME TAG YOU. I WILL BE REMOVING YOUR NAME SOON, SO IF YOU WANT TO STILL BE ON THE LIST... BEST LET ME KNOW AND WE’LL FIGURE IT OUT. THANKS****

#SPN FANFIC #dean x reader #dean fluff #jealous!dean #mr ketch #dean winchester #first kiss

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helenhuntingdon · 5 years

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endgame thoughts & feels !!!

Im first thoughts so anyone who EVEN accidentally clicks on read more and doesn’t want to see spoilers even v accidentally so first they will actually read about my bladder rather than see spoilers

I STFG IRL I CAN GO MORE THAN 3 HOURS W/O NEEDING TO PEE, LIKE THIS HAPPENS REGULARLY??

BUT AS SOON AS I SIT DOWN IN THE CINEMA I NEED TO PEE!! I WILL NOT BE ABLE TO NOT PEE FOR 3 HOURS EVER IN A CINEMA, I CAN JUST ABOUT MAKE IT TO THE END OF A 2 HOUR FILM

AND THEN EVERY SINGLE FILM I’VE WATCHED IN THE CINEMA, KNOW THAT I NEEDED TO PEE FOR HALF OF IT AT LEAST

(LBR WE ALL KNOW I BOUGHT DIET COKE BC I’M A FUCKING IDIOT NEVER AGAIN WILL DIET COKE AND ITS LAXATIVE CAFFEINE TOUCH THESE LIPS)

so anyway

I did not have a gr9 cinema experience bc of fucking english children behind me (I had 3 hours also to decide that english children are particularly the worst, their parents will never just tell them to shush)

3D glasses wearing also is just distracting, maybe bc I don’t wear glasses, or bc they’re just dark? but lbr they put it out 3d first so anyone who wants to watch it w/o getting spoiled will HAVE to watch it in 3d and spend more money UGH

saw aladdin trailer though and tbh I can’t believe ppl’s outrage was over will smith when that was the least bad thing about it come on??? not bc it’s bad otherwise but it looks dull, like all these remakes are uninteresting af

*takes a pee break now*

okay actual film!!!:

- even though he’s really not my fave and Idc like most the time I’m glad there was a clint barton arc bc otherwise it’s just ridic he’s been one of the avengers for yearssssss but hardly had a sl except for us finding out he’s married to linda cardellini lucky bastard

- carol’s haircut made me gayer so gay

- (was natasha’s red and blonde hair supposed to be like a mess or was it supposed to be like ~style in 5 years?)

- and yeah one of the only things I knew about the film was there would be some gay and I am glad of that

- but as soon as I saw the hulk in knitwear in my heart I knew the hulk should absolutely 100% be the most gay!!! especially as they drew a line under him and natasha thank god (mark ruffalo would love to be a gay hulk the woke bastard we all know it)

- so anyway headcanon hulk is dating that gay guy

- it’s practically canon to me tbqh they just couldn’t fit it in (or I’d have peed myself)

- Thor was me in a half-apocalypse - kill someone, get drunk, grow a beard

- Tilda Swinton was there being embarrassing... obvs I didn’t see the Doctor Strange film (did anyone???) so I didn’t have to SEE that but then they were like eh no one cares about the thing everyone was calling racist then right? and put that racism in an avengers film THANKS (and then a japanese man got randomly brutally killed NICE)

- I also haven’t seen GotG or Antman films or that Spiderman film lol so there’s so much to do w/ GotG scenes I don’t understand (my pee break was in their stuff) but I’m glad Nebula and Gamora were in this the most though the Gamora stuff was still a mess and the time travel stuff w/ that??? fucking confused by it BUT I liked the Antman stuff and the trailer for the new Spiderman film looks good so maybe I’ll watch those!

- is Gamora back to dead now what happened to Nebula should I have paid more attention or were these genuinely confusing things? Im it was 3 hours I can’t remember what happened to ppl I’m least interested in

- RIGHT the scene then I loved the most perhaps was Thor and his mother??? I wouldn’t have expected this Idk but when Frigga called him a failure... and it was like harsh lol but mother b like that - but then she was like bc we’re all failures ;; and Idk I find that a lot more comforting than someone telling me I’m not a failure... rather than the truth of ofc I’m a failure but we all are and always will fail at things in life! that was fucking philosophical

- cap said ass lol

- the bucky mentions being like shook were like aw wow

- but then also peggy I love her so much seeing her even was ;;

- but actually then did make me mad but not for everyone else’s reasons but bc I loved agent carter ffs!!! and seeing peggy and jarvis then was like but we don’t know what happened between agent carter and those scenes ffs??? and how did howard go from being dominic cooper to john slattery in that time like wow disappointing lmfao

- benny cumbers had like one line and all I could think @ it was his american accent is shit

- and then the srs stuff~~~

- the natasha and clint scene was then the most emosh thing about the film for me then like a seriously underdeveloped rship but you knew they were gonna fight over which one of them got o do that and I think, as the character who had the least left to give, it was the right one

- and of course it was the other character’s time to go as well like I expected it earlier even I would’ve been annoyed if he didn’t die lol sorry not bc I h888 so much bc it’d be the right time?? you can’t just keep milking a character until he’s a useless caricature he needs to have an ending

- thor’s ending was vaguey I thought he might go after jane I guess natalie weren’t interested though

- but valkyrie god!!! king she is the future

- hulk had like no end so will he still be in it

- the closure for hulk should’ve been he’s gay okay hear me out he’s always had the inner turmoil he’s always had two sides at war w/ himself then he accepted both and is both okay actually that sounds bi hulk is bi

- so yeah then steve also had to have an ending and lbr I was expecting him to die so even if I shipped steve and bucky 5ever I never thought that’d happen even though that’s bc I thought he’d die lmfao (I guess he will now~ at some pojnt~) but the ending was nice, Im it ended on a nice music and it was a happy ending???

- (I’m still mad tbh at not enough fucking peggy and Im sharon carter just ceased to exist I guess)

- other than a couple of sad bits it was predictable and a happy ending and that’s exactly what I want ffs except w/ some unpredictableness obvs!!!

- sam!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I will love captain america 5ever whomever he be!!!!

- so then my biggest issue was actually where was more captain marvel??? thank god they didn’t make carol str8 I guess at least she looked gayer, fucking baby steps????????

- and wakandas ffs duh where were they all sobs Im the wakandas and carol are THE most badass lmfao but okay

- like bless the carol seen like peter like but how will you get over there carol lol um she can literally just fly over there easily come the fuck on but then all these women had to help her and carol just looked all ok awk I could just fly over there but this is nice Im I won’t ruin the movie’s girl power scene thx yall

- but anyway they are all the fucking future ;; I wish there was more of that and more hints of what to come but it was an end to old heroes obviously

- the new heroes gotta be gay though and bi all over the place

- hulk is an lgbt icon, to me and me only, thank you and goodnight

#I put under read more as if anybody will read lmfao #no1 sees any of my posts or they just sure as hell don't interact w/ them or me #so this whole post could be about my bladder and no one would ever know~~~#(it is) (but also vague endgame spoilers still lol so!)

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survivorelara · 6 years

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Episode #8: “These horny ass giraffes” - Drew H.

Well, I'm a big flopping mess, I fell asleep and failed to vote. ADDITIONALLY, Dani was the one sent home, which nobody even told me was gonna be a thing. Like Loris mildly mentioned it to me, but I didn't take that to mean that 3/4 of the merge was gonna vote Dani out.

I realize that John and Dani didn't even vote Ci'ere which was supposedly the plan, so it's good to know that John is someone I can really rely on... NOT.

I'm more frustrated with myself though because I should be capable of more than I was. I'm feeling on the outs though, because I don't even know where the Roxy votes came from.

This game is a fucking mess for me.

https://youtu.be/0k5pTCBa_1M

"heuse1acToday at 10:42 PM No idea! The fact that john was put in the mix is really interesting though bc he easily could've just jumped the alliance i accidentally screenshotted a million years ago So that makes me think loris might be a part of that conversation bc he's the only one who would like have that mindset of including john bc he saw the flip firsthand And we all definitely used that joint tribal and the lie as a talking point so it'd be easy enough to say we still have emotions about it, even without proof That's just my read on it tho, i have no proof. But if it was him, that would explain why you were targeted of the 4 of us bc he really does seem to have something against you asdfghjkl"

why does this sound so fishy to me like he is hard core tunneling Loris. Makes me super sus nnn

"DrachusToday at 12:05 AM god If we go f2 somehow We'll be the most hated f2 I can't wait "

ok i love you drachus but fuck he totally plans to drag me as a gaot doesnt he lol

Okay, operation get Roxy to blame Loris for the target last night is in full effect. Do I think he's the one who actually put Roxy's name out there by spreading stories that she was targeting Ci'ere? Eh maybe, leaning probably not. But Roxy has it in her mind that Loris has a vendetta against her, and there is JUST BARELY enough loose strings to thread together into a convincing enough forgery. Loris being targeted eventually is needed because of how close he is with Andrea and how much I'm sure he will never give up resenting the fact that he prob would've been next on swapped Auva. And end of the day, if we fail, Roxy is the one who leaves and that opens a lot of doors for me that a "leaked alliance" is holding firmly closed.

I took a goodnight's rest before really pursuing making this confessional. Not getting rid of Sam earlier in this game was the biggest mistake of every player in this merge. I love Samuel to death, probably my favorite straight male ever (sorry Jack and Seamus), but the boy really woke up during the last 24 hours of this game.

Not only he successfully convinced everyone to vote his way, he temporarily bridged the feud between Ci'ere and Dani for a brief moment to get the numbers and all of the votes turned for Dani. He claims that he didn't know that Ci'ere will call myself, Drew H., Roxy and John out- but after that joint tribal- anyone who had any part with the old Zosma tribe is treacherous.

Where does this confessional lead? Well I tell you, Sam perfected the under-the-radar strategy during the premerge portion of this game AND got everyone to vote his way just so that he can get revenge for her bitchy attitude. I literally have to give any and all credit to that boy for that last round because that was pure genius because it got my Auvas and John to be EXTREMELY more pissed off at Ciere while he is controlling that emotional mess by the strings. Amazing. But it is time to plot his demise.

Everyone in this game is damned fake and transparent it makes me sick. I'm tired of people trying to pass off not being aligned with others when it's painfully obvious.

Drew H. tried to pass off him and Roxy being a 1 time thing... despite voting together the entire game so far.

Loris was briefly entertaining the idea of voting Ci'ere though he was obvious about reservations... 1 tribal later, Ci'ere is using an idol. (Though he didn't get any votes so it's whatever.) Now Loris is saying we need Ci'ere to stay. Which is whatever I guess, but to me it's like ok you two are clearly a F2 or something, there is more to this than I'm being told.

John, didn't even vote Ci'ere when it was his idea, but he hasn't told me anything about the past tribal which is beyond infuriating.

I feel like I'm floating, in the middle of the ocean without a raft, and I can swim and float for a little while, but it feels like the sharks are coming from somewhere no matter how I disguise myself in the water.

Noah fence but I wanted to get kori out since they’re so good at comps but now we might never get the chance :shrugs:

I don’t think anyone hates me so I think I should be good this vote ?? Watch me catch this blindside

i'm actually so mad right now, I knew one of those two had the idol... and ci'ere said he found it on his very first guess with 39. BITCH 39 WAS LITERALLY MY 2ND GUESS, HOW DOES HE GET THAT LUCKY IM SO SAD I WANTED THAT IDOL :(

Aye, Won a challenge, let's gooooo! Lol, thankfully there was a score reasonably close to mine, so I didn't look like I utterly destroyed the challenge.

I also got that idol clue, which I mean eliminated a ton of possibilities. Though it'll be hard to sus out which Non-American astronaut it is. (I'm hoping a future idol clue is that the astronaut isn't Russian so as to eliminate a ton more options.)

I think I'm gonna try for a Dylan boot, because the guy and I almost never talk, he won the last challenge so he's clearly capable in some regards, and he's on OG Auva, and if original tribe lines come up, that'd put us at 5v3v2, though I'm not banking on those lines given the way Loris, and John both act.

Ok so before the last tribal, I thought people would be wanting to vote for Ci'ere. Then later Ci'ere starts going off in the tribe chat saying to vote for Roxy because she has an alliance with the Drews and myself. And in his tribal question he basically calls me out saying tribal lines have already been crossed because of the fact that I voted against Revati the round before. BOI you weren't even there so stfu?? Yes there is an alliance but there has legit been no game talk in it, Roxy just made it to ensure I would vote with them, which I was going to in order to get Zach out anyway. I went to a few people to reiterate that fact. I wanted Ci'ere to leave before but now it'd be in his best interest to not speak to me.

Kori won immunity and I fell asleep early because I was tired afff. I wake up, seeing that Kori has apparently gone to all of Revati targeting Dylan. He knows that I really want to target Ci'ere, especially now that he doesn't have immunity, and that I want to work with Dylan. The problem I have with my Revati tribe is that I don't feel too much trust with them as of now. Emma doesn't talk to me, Loris doesn't as much anymore, Kori can be very controlling, and I don't know fully where I stand with Andrea. I will most likely not be voting Dylan out tonight, and if Kori really wants to go to final 2 with me he should respect that. Ci'ere would be my ideal vote tonight but if nobody is going to vote him out, I may end up voting for Emma because if anything I know I've got Drew H. Either way, I think at this point my messiness meter is through the roof so hopefully nothing comes back to bite me in the ass woooo

Andrea telling me that she’s not voting for Emma and that she also doesn’t know who to vote for. I love people indirectly telling me that they’re voting me out

I’m confessing so much but that’s only because I feel like I’m going home today and I need to make a lasting impression so I can win fan favorite 💅🏻💅🏻

Anyway I think I have the votes to stay but if an idol gets played then I’m going home for sure

The original revati idol was never played so I don’t trust this vote at all tbh

Hopefully this isn’t my last confession but if it is then goodbye xoxo

Emma has the idol and loris has the advantage. I am LIVIN I decided to just be honest to everyone and ya we shall see how it goes I still don’t think I can win and Emma told lORIS about to he alliance which is concerning but um idk ok we shall see

Well, it seems likely that John and I will be separating in the near future, he just isn't open to me like he was at the beginning of the game, and I just don't know if I can work with him.

None of my thoughts or ideas seem to gel with him, and it just doesn't seem to be working out.

If people are telling the truth than it should be Dylan going, from there ideally we vote out Drew H, who is a reasonable threat and it ideally throws that whole alliance into chaos.

From there I think I'd want Ci'ere gone, and after that maybe Loris? But we'll see how things go, immunity wins and other events are likely to shakeup the game, to which I'll have to be flexible, so I don't wanna start overplanning just for everything to be thrown out of wack.

yeah so this vote is clearly a Dylan or emma going home scenario. personally im voting Dylan mainly because we have no relationship at all game wise, and emma seems dead loyal to loris and me kinda, which is way more valuable to me than a guy the auva's wanna try and use as a "number." plus, people seem to think emma is kori's free number, which may be true but he was the one pushing for the Dylan vote, which will only turn him into a more visible character which I need in my life right now. yeah after last vote I definitely need to sit back and let other people drive, but I'm all for someone I know im not gonna work with going home this round. I know the drew's wanted emma gone, but I told them straight up I was probably voting Dylan since we have no relationship, but that next vote a green has to go and they seem all for it. so hopefully this is setting me up for a nice ride the next few votes? let's hope oh god inb4 I die next round before single digits ima kms

ALSO SUCK IT DANI MAN YOU THOOOOOOOUGHT I WAS LEAVING THIS ROUND HA BIHHHHH YOU CLUELESS SEE YOU AT FTC!!

man oh man ciere, you really trying it huh. over here threatening my man drew T that he'll be next to go if he doesn't vote emma? that also means ill be in the crosshairs too? nah bruh, we aint having any of it. Dylan is leaving this vote then guess what, you're gonna be blindsided, and oh my god I cant wait to see that happen. should've stuck with me, smh

ciere is REEEEEEEEAAAAAALLLLLLYYYYY trying to take control of this vote and get emma out, bruh if that aint obvious idk what is, esp when he hasn't included me in it. why is he here and not toby.... :(

https://youtu.be/H3vuhKG9APE

ok so I swear I wrote this already but woooo Emma has idol I have legacy Andrea is a queen iconic trio I also have a deal to go to the end with Sam ??? Oops. At this point I just feel valued but it’s probably because they realise I’m useless and will not be able to write a speech at FTC and also I’ll just get fucked over because it’s live.... oh well. 5 more tribals to go!! well four but I’m writing this in the future

All my ladies pop your kitty like this, Shake ya body don’t stop don’t miss all mah ladies pop ya kitty like this justto it do it do it do it now do it good luck that kitty just like you should

Dylan is voted out 8-3.

#episode #flyinghigh

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survivorcostarica · 6 years

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Ep. 2 - “THIS ROUND HAS BEEN SHITE” - Louise

Ay I'm the longest lasting Australian.

That's cute @ the other tribe voting out Roxy. See this is what I forgot about games where I don't like or care about anyone in said game; there's way more motivation to get rid of the fuckwits. Judging from that tribal video, I think I've found a nice selection of them. The worst mistake they'll make is not getting rid of me premerge, because if I get there, they'll be having a hard time getting rid of me. There's a pretty distinct reason that I've made final four seven times in a row for my past seven ORGs, three of which were wins and one was runner-up. I'm going to burn them all, and when I'm done, I'll roast some marshmallows over the coals.

I'm honestly bored so we should swap so I can make someone cry or something so they can feel a little bit of what Roxy's feeling.

I wonder if any alliances are forming in the tribe. If they are they're pretty stupid because early alliances never work out. I mean quite frankly, alliances at all don't work out. Playing a solo game gets you to the end 90% of the time, at least in my case. There's probably random little chats like the one Cole made with Louise and I, but I wonder if people have like, fully fledged plans.

I don't know why I keep putting these in seperate things when I'm just randomly ranting but oh well. I really don't care that I'm cocky about the game because quite frankly I'm not here to suddenly jump in bed with the tumblr community. I couldn't give two shits about it because this is the only tumblr org I'm ever going to do so I might as well make the most of it and fuck with stuff since I don't ever do that in other games. I'm looking to enjoy my time here, not to win. If I win in the process then that's cool, it wouldn't be the first time it's happened just from messing with people with no end goal. I'm honestly just excited to be playing a game that I don't have to hold back on anything. It'll either end up with me getting to final tribal council where people won't want to vote for me or I'll be out early, but either way, it'll be fun.

So I forgot to add this in my last round, but I wound up creating an alliance with myself, Drew, Cameron, Jill and Sam known as the Court Room: Pepperoni vs Sausage because we were talking about court rooms and attorney jokes because we love sharing facts in the main chat for fun. I feel like all of us will stay together for the majority of the pre-merge and if something changes, well then that blows then! Otherwise, this game is going decently. I seem to be liked by everyone and I don't want anything about that to change.

Um I love when my tribe wins and I really like working with people!!!! My alliance is bad ass and like they do sm more than I do hahahaha i should prob look for an idol!! I'll post more later I promise

Oh helloooooo!! So I just realized I didn’t do a confessional last round because I forgot it was a round because we won immunity but like someone still went home, SO I apologize for that!! But moving on, the past is in the past, I’m so freaking nervous! I’ve had some conversations with people but I don’t REALLY know where everyone stands with me like people aren’t gonna be outwardly rude to me and none of our conversations have seemed to evolve past just talking about ourselves / getting to know each other besides Arika. So I’m hoping with the rest of today I can do my best to work myself into some type of place that I don’t go home and I’m not gonna be here for tribal due to work so I really have to work hard to make sure whatever I can make happen sticks for the like 3 hours I’ll be at work before tribal because I’ll only have so much time to use to check back in. No idea really WHO I want to like put my vote onto I’m kinda hoping there’s already some name(s) our there that I haven’t heard but who knows. I always think the worst case scenario so there could have been absolutely NO game played thus far for the vote but I’m just gonna assume everyone hates me and is talking a bunch without me :)))) paranoia for the win!! Wish me luck

So we went to tribal and Roxy went home. That's not really my first choice because she trusted me and I was her number 1 apparently, but I went with majority and voted her out. By going along with the plan to get rid of Roxy I found myself in a power alliance of Constance, Jill, Cameron and Drew. I really like all of these people and am working on developing relationships with everyone in my alliance.

We won immunity, thanks to me and my quick google fingers and my never ending useless (but not anymore!) medical terminology knowledge. Also, did you know gallbladder was one word? I did, but I guess I forgot. Oopsies!

Haven’t talked to many people, spooked for tribal

I have...not much to say. I’m so bad with confessionals tbh I never want to write down everything that’s going on. I’m happy to be safe. Hope everything goes well on my tribe tonight. That’s all.

Um Im scared for tribal because I don’t really know many people yet but I hope I can pull through this

I'm glad our tribe won immunity! I feel good that I've made it past two rounds in this game. I'd like to think that my alliance on Cadejo will hold up as we progress but you can never be so sure! Nothing negative to say!

Honestly I'm probably on the bottom of my tribe because i suck and idk what to do but Jill is my number 1 and jay is my number 2 and ya I like Cameron but idk who else I really care for like do i care about any of them truly

THIS ROUND HAS BEEN SHITE no one talks to me I only love Cole Kevin and AJ tbh and I haven’t been active but I’m in bumfuck NOWHERE in Scotland which means I can’t talk strat and I’m upset so if I get voted out before I have a chance to actually play I’m gonna shit my pants.

I love being kidnapped but this tribe barely talks lol i hope josh does go i trust cole but he said that is who he is voting not who the tribe is but possibly i don't mean i hope josh goes meanly idk the guy but he did vote in the minority when we took him idk if anyone is with him even.

i sent this confessional to the wrong confessional and just realized sadly but roxy called me a snake and i find it funny she thinks i am a snake when she was saying the others names sam never came to me about drew he didn't vote drew out you and josh did constance also wanted to keep drew we had a call he told me.

I think I'm doing well in this game but I don't have any real alliances yet. But I did help kill Roxy so that's always fun :)

Um beautiful background btw Dan!!! Also you're beautiful! ANyways, I'm sorry Joshua I sent you home..... but I didn't need you anymore sorry. I have alliances that will hopefully protect me to the end:) Me, Julia and Arika (Gays 4 Costa Rica) and Me, Louise, and AJ (Jporg Cuties). I already have set my targets for Cam, Madison, Bryan, Aj, and Drew. They are the only ones that have a chance against the (gays 4 costa rica) anyways I FOUND AN IDOL SO LIKE OWWWOWOWOWOWOWO thanks arika love ya doll.

#survivorcostarica

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survivor-hosts · 7 years

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Ep. #1: “Back Into the Groove of Things” - Scott

The cast was announced and both tribes started calls in their tribe chats. Some early alliances started based on past relationships. The first twist was that the tribes had to elect a Tribe Captain. Regan took charge on Naicha demanding she be captain. On Jinsei, they strategized about it for hours with Lydia using Sam and Scott to help make her Tribe Captain. The first challenge was Winterbells and MJ lead Naicha to a hefty win. After losing, The Alliance of Sam, Scott, and Lydia (The Three Muskequeers) tried to decide whether to vote out Austin or Catherine. They decided to go with Cat due to her poor challenge performance and her connections on the other tribe. Connah figured it was him who was going home and ultimately self voted.

Tbh I’m really bored so I’m gonna make a pre-game confessional before the game starts. I really am excited to be back and playing my official last season of Tumblr Survivor (and ORG) ever. I want more than anything for this season to end on a good note, so I plan on giving it my all and hoping for the best. I think the timing for me to come back is especially perfect, mainly because in the past my personal life was mixing in with the ORGs and it got to the point where I had a big mental breakdown in front of the family dinner table. That’s why I took a break; I just had so much going on personally that I had to stop using ORGs as an escape from my problems and actually face them. It’s been about a year and a half since I was involved with ORGS and I’m really happy with the person that I am today and to say that I resolved most of my personal dilemmas that I had. There’s been so many seasons that I was considered for since Ancient Greece, but honestly the timing in my personal life didn’t work out and I would drop out in order to take care of myself (Easter Island, Sri Lanka, Generations [not 100% sure about this one], India, and Solomon Islands). This time the only conflict I may have is that I work night shift some nights, but lately I’ve been scheduled on day shifts so hopefully it stays like that so it doesn’t interfere with challenges and the game itself. But honestly I think I can work around it game wise plus many people talk during the day and late at night so it can benefit me. This season is actually really scary for me going into it mainly because I don’t know who to really expect. It’s an all-host season, so obviously it’s going to be all retuning players but I really haven’t been involved with this community in a long time. I could see a lot of familiar faces, or I could see a lot of newbies from the seasons I didn’t follow. I think I’m honestly going to be such a huge target coming back into the game. I say this mainly because lately I’ve noticed there’s a trend where guys who disappear for a long time and come back will end up winning (Jake B, Simon, Tommy, Stoner, and Mitchell to name a few). So to be coming back after two years could put me in danger and others may see me as a threat, which is why I need to be extremely cautious. Plus I personally have a huge reputation that I refuse to destroy. Every time I’ve played I’ve never been pre-merge/pre-jury, and I don’t want to know what that feels like. Plus I haven’t played Tumblr Survivor in 2 years, and I know a lot has changed when it comes to the game format. Hopefully I can adapt to it quickly and be conscious the entire time. I’ve only spoken to like maybe 6 people from the community after Malaysia ended. I don’t really have anyone to possibly pregame an alliance with. The only reason why I applied is because Regan convinced me to and I spoke to Trevor about it to make sure it was legit. I know she applied, but if she’s cast I don’t think it would be in my best interest to keep her around (I’m sorry Regan I love you). I just feel like everyone would know how close we are and it would put a huge target on my back, or make it bigger along with everything else. I haven’t spoken to her about possibly being on this season, and I plan on keeping it that way. But other than her, I don’t know anyone who could possibly be on this season which could be a good thing or a bad thing for me. Good thing is that I’m a single person and if there’s a big group/pre-game then I can be a part of a group to go against the pre-game. However, if people are like “let’s go with the pre-game group over the individuals” than I could be screwed early on in the game and possibly be the first boot. Honestly my biggest fear is just being pre-merge and doing worse than ever in my Tumblr survivor career. Idk, maybe things can all work out for the best for me, I’m remaining optimistic about all of this and I really can’t wait to get back into the groove of things.

i literally wrote the saltiest jury speech ever towards lydia when we were in riau together and now she is on my tribe fjdkafjdskalfjkldjafdfs. we got along well enough in riau and in hindsight i definitely was way too salty towards her but hopefully no bad blood carries over from riau into this game.

Can't wait to be first boot

[2017-06-07 8:34:48 PM] Jessy: first impression? josh icon [2017-06-07 8:34:56 PM] Jessy: i feel like he's the only person getting invested in my convo. [2017-06-07 8:34:57 PM] Jessy: SKLJSLSJK [2017-06-07 8:35:17 PM] Trevor [Host of Hosts]: Am I gonna have to copy all this into a confessional or will you write one later :p [2017-06-07 8:35:23 PM] Jessy: i'll write one later [2017-06-07 8:36:04 PM] Trevor [Host of Hosts]: Thank you !

HI Trevor. It's your fave mom, Sam McCanada. Look at my son doing his momma proud

i am god awful at winterbells. i am god awful at every single flash game. this will be fun. the first night is always weird because i keep having tons of tiny conversations and they're all just small talk. everyone knows that these conversations are just small talk at the beginning of the game and yet we have these conversations anyway, fully well knowing that they mean almost nothing at this point. i feel like ive been out of the tumblr survivor community for so long that i am so disconnected from everyone here, and that immediately makes me feel like im in trouble. they all know each other so well, and while i know almost everyone here on a very basic level, i'm not particularly close with anyone here. ive played with a few people here before. in riau i essentially yelled at lydia in my jury speech and then proceeded to not vote for her in FTC. the one and only time i played with andrew, i voted him out. i'd like to think that feelings from previous games dont carry over, but i know that they do for some people. i don't know. i dont feel safe.

why is connor so impulsive? i love the kid but 5 minutes into the game i'm already in an alliance with him and drew when drew and i haven't even talked yet sjhfsdkjfa. More detailed confessional later~

[2017-06-07 9:11:49 PM] Jessy: NO ONE IS talking to me. [2017-06-07 9:11:52 PM] Jessy: Can't wait to be on the bottom [2017-06-07 9:43:24 PM] Jessy: i like josh.. [2017-06-07 9:43:30 PM] Jessy: regan rlly tried me.. [2017-06-07 9:43:35 PM] Jessy: mj is a snake... [2017-06-07 9:43:38 PM] Jessy: matt is a snake... [2017-06-07 9:43:52 PM] Jessy: connor seems like a person who's gna be in a good position... [2017-06-07 9:44:08 PM] Jessy: allison and i idk her yet that well [2017-06-07 9:44:18 PM] Jessy: drew idk her yet that well [2017-06-07 9:44:18 PM] Jessy: KLSSJKL [2017-06-07 9:44:20 PM] Jessy: *him. [2017-06-07 9:44:31 PM] Trevor [Host of Hosts]: Lol [2017-06-08 1:26:44 PM] Jessy: i just wanna make an alliance that can watch shit on rabbit and have a fun time. [2017-06-08 2:35:32 PM] Jessy: regan wants a girls alliance [2017-06-08 2:35:34 PM] Jessy: BKLMSLKMFSDKLM [2017-06-08 2:38:45 PM] Jessy: its a concept yeah. [2017-06-08 2:57:07 PM] Jessy: im just tryna be utr. [2017-06-08 2:57:14 PM] Jessy: wide the waves. [2017-06-08 2:57:23 PM] Jessy: find my crew and watch tv shows on rabbit. [2017-06-08 2:57:48 PM] Jessy: mi opciones es no grande :/

Hey I'm back who wants to see me get 12th again??????? Or worse. BUT YEAH. I'M FUCKING BACK IN A MAIN SEASON YA'LL. Third times the charm I guess, but honestly I'm so scared. Pumped, but scared. This is - like I said - third time playing, and my first 2 times I got 12th. So fuck me in the ass amirite? Like, if I get 12th or worse I'll probably casually go into a major depressive episode for a little bit. So I have a LOT riding on these first impressions. First impressions are everything, and I don't really know these people very well? So it is VITAL to me if I even want to have a game in this mess to have a good social game right off the bat. And everyone seems cool at the moment? I'm just nervous about preexisting relationships and all that jazz and mumbo jumbo. I mean, I am the newest person on the tribe I think in terms of how long I've been here? In fact, I think only person younger to the community in this game than me is Connor Wubbenndjfm on the other tribe. Preexisting relationships are just scary. Like, I was on the call tonight with a few of the people. And they were all nice! But I kinda felt like a high schooler volunteering at an old person's home. ASDFGHJK I'm SORRY OKAY it's just that literally everyone was sharing war stories of like 2 plus years ago and I've been here for a year and a half so. Not a lot I could have contributed! But like I said, everyone seems cool. For not at least. And that's what I like. Keep the discourse at a minimum for the time being please! But yeah I guess if I had to give a quick opinion on everyone just from tonight: Scott: Super cool! Very easy to talk to. Bonded over our love for Isaac McDicksucc. I'm hoping he's not just doing some "be this social to everyone thing" and actually found a better-than-average connection with me because if so, I would like to work with him. David Robb: Person I actually know! Hosted me in TAR and shit and I've voted him out of a side. But I'm hoping we can work together? At least for now. I know I'm gonna sound hypocritical, but I feel like this is the only preexisting relationship I might need. I probably know the least amount of people here so gimme a break okay? Bitches... Sam McCanada: Cool girl! Remembered watching her host Transylvania. Know she's done super good and has slayed in CYS which is super threatening because I've heard that's a hard as ORG. If she tries to be the controlling type then it'd be best to be with her as opposed to against her - at least for premerge. Connah: He seems chill. He was on the call but didn't talk much and we kinda talked RRN. I know he's close to Lydia and MJ so I gotta watch out for that. If we go to tribal first I would go for him or Lydia only if someone voiced wanting to break up potential alliances first. Other than that I wanna keep my head down. Lydia: Same alliance type deal word vomit thing I just said above. But she seemed nice even though I only talked to her for a little. I'll try talking to her more tomorrow to feel things out. Austin: GOOD. BYE. I do NOT want to play with Austin Trevino. No sir. Goodbye Spongebob goodbye goodbye. Like he's a damn mess to play with and to watch play. He quit a side premerge the second things weren't going his way. And I know he's gonna try kissing my ass and kiss up to everyone and think he has this AMAZING social game. Like... no... sweety... no. But ya know what? Seemingly easy first boot cannon fodder. If need be. Catherine: Yay! Honestly love Cat. She won my first ever ORG (a side) a year and a half ago and I got 6/24 there so I spent a lot of time with her there. But then she kinda died? But now she's back! Out of herself, Austin, and Lydia - she didn't have an excuse for not being around. Idk how social she'll be but I wanna at least have her for myself. Okay whew. Other than all this nonsensical shit I just typed above, there's the other tribe which I can go more in depth about a little later once I sleep and process everything. Drew? Love him but farewell. Regan? Other tribe's Austin. Matt fucking Summers? I gtg suddenly. MJ? Could kill me but I wanna kill him first. Allison? My mom and one of my best friends but tbh this isn't Pacific Islands and I'll vote her out if I have to. Etc. Etc. There was Conner Wubben who's cool but I don't really know. 2 others I can't remember right now asdfghj oops. Oh we also have a challenge and I suck at desktop Winterbells so there's that too. If we coulda used the mobile app well :~) that woulda been fun. But Trevor apparently hates fun and friendship. Oh yeah and fuck this twist. It's 2:30 am and I'm tired and I'll talk more in a video confessional tomorrow so gnight and wish my flop ass luck because I'll need a little if I wanna get past that 12th placement hehe. *Takes a shot or 4*

I'm back for my 3rd go, and I feel as though I have a lot to prove not only to myself but to the community as well. It's been well over a year since I last played Tumblr Survivor, and I do think I've grown a lot as a game player. Coming into this season, I felt flattered by the shape and size this cast has been brought about. I'm standing here with castaways from All-Stars, multiple winners, and well-known players all in the same season. To me, this is both a curse and a blessing. A blessing because I'm the unknown of this season. The wildcard if that. I'm here coming off a mess that I played in Bhutan, and a lackluster performance in R&R. Not many people know my gameplay or how I evolved into what has become my playstyle. A lot of these players are "Old School" (characterized by the grouping from Generations), and I'm not well known inside the community. The curse for me this season comes with the realization of outside bonds formed from the casts' older seasons. These people know each other. They know how they play, and in order for me to win with the likes of Summers and MJ playing then I'm going to need to play to the absolute best of my ability. I need to play a game that is true to myself that can only represent why I, Austin Trevino, am the best possible outcome for a winner this season. Something I know I'm weak on is my social gameplay. For me, this season, I need to overhaul my playstyle to focus my strategic game SOLEY on my social gameplay. Play smart, not hard. I need to realize that I'm in this for 39 days, and not just round by round. My physical gameplay is lackluster at that, so I need to be able to make up for it by spreading awareness to my tribemates as to why I am an ideal candidate in benefiting their game. In doing so, I've already worked to the best of my ability to find 1 thing I can use as a reminder that I'm not some "nobody" they've never met before. So far I've reached out to the entire tribe and connected with each of them on the following: Andrew - We played Comoros together. I've also been talking to him about some Solomon reps for Cutthroat, but he is someone I genuinely like. I need to go deeper in getting to know HIM as a person, but I do believe he is someone I would like to work with in the future. Him and I are both pre-merge flops, so I do think we can see eye-to-eye in allowing ourselves that window of opportunity to take over. Scott - Scott is nice, supportive, and relatable. He is someone that is coming back into these ORGs for the first time in a long while, and I do think I can relate to him in the fact that this is something we haven't done in a while. He's going back to school to major in psychology because he wants to become a school psychologist. I've taken AP Psych in high school (LOL), so I do see myself working a friendship over with him through various small talks which could transform into something larger. Lydia - Lydia doesn't remember this all too well, but we played Storybook: Neverland together. She knows how willing I was to give my game for her and be loyal, so I do think she is someone that would gladly look to keep me. I reminded her of all this when I brought up voting out Jordan Pines on Jordan Pines Day. She's smart, and no one can deny that. Her placements are BY FAR the best average placements in this entire cast. It's threatening to see her on this season, but it's comforting to know that I can bring up a fond moment from a past game in order to share my expression of loyalty towards a person. David - David and the entire cast of BBHell2 hated my gameplay. That was 2 years ago, however. David knows and called me out on my horrific social gameplay in jury, so I need to prove to David that my social gameplay isn't an issue anymore. To start, I brought up some things about David's job as a cashier and found a way to relate to his job with mine (I'm a cashier as well). I think it really shows a lot when, after 2 years, you can remember something about someone even when they criticized your social gameplay. (See, I do listen to people >.>). I like David. Connah - Literally he was my host for R&R, so I immediately had something to open up with. I didn't last long in R&R, so the window of opportunity is wide open when it comes to establishing something. Cat - OK LITERALLY I LOVE HER, JOSH, AND CONNOR (who are all in this game and I need to immediately make a mental note that they're a trio in my books), BECAUSE THEY ALL HOSTED ME IN PERU AND THAT SEASON SUCKED BUT THEY WERE LIT. Cat hasn't been around all that much for me to talk to (or maybe I'm being ignored?), but I do hope to connect with her again by bringing up Peru and some friends we do have in common. Sam - Sam I've probably spoken to the most. She's "fresh" off of an Okinawa victory, and I do see myself trusting her. I voted for her as tribe captain and I would definitely like to see her place some level of trust in me. I just find it easier to talk to her over most others. I like Sam. This season I need to prove to myself that I can outlast the 3rd tribal council. Both seasons I've played have seen me voted out then. I can't OVERPLAY. Building relationships is what matters most here. As for the twist(s) of the season, I do think it's bittersweet. Trevor has turned this into a hunger games for Hosts. We created our own Weapons of Murder. I don't see this turning into a Redemption Island season with a cast of 16, so I do think this season is going to be idol heavy in terms of the various idols. Most of these hosts have held their unique idol twists, so when idol searching does come about, I need to be on the lookout for anything and everything imaginable.

im in a super weird position here because im super close with connor and josh on the other tribe. the thing that makes it an awkward position is that EVERYONE knows how close we are. we started our own survivor platform together and we're currently on the hosting chart for another main season. connor, josh, and i literally hosted austin in a season together. i definitely know that i'm a target because of this. the votes for tribe captain are due in 15 minutes and no one has talked to me about it. im just going to vote for some random person and hope that its with the majority, however i (ONCE AGAIN) dont feel safe.

i'm trying to stay on the down low but i don't know if that's helping me or hurting me. on the one hand, it helps because it keeps me out of the spotlight a bit. but on the other, it might hurt because i might not be bonding with people as much as i could be. fjdksaljfdsaklj i dont know what's happening

i love jake gyllenhaal

So, things are going kind of well, I think. First off, Josh and I are together, which is great, but Cat is alone on blue. Frankly, out of the three of us, Cat being alone was worse case scenario. I knew if I was alone that I would have been able to finagle my way into things and build relationships because the game I play is very social. Cat says that talking to people is a chore. So.... rip cat? I know Drew and Josh very well going into this game, MJ fairly well as he hosted me in RnR and Palawan, and Regan was technically in RnR with me and we played a storybook season together. Im also fairly good friends with Matt, so I definitly think there is room for me to pull some strings and get some control over this mess before it turns around too quick and gets me. Regan being tribe leader is good for me I think. She's very easily influenced, or she has been in the past, and I think she will be good for my game as long as she doesn't pull a Regan and do something crazy. And lets be real, we all know she will. Drew, Josh, and I do have an alliance, although there has been little to no talk in that chat. Rip. Also, Drew probably knows that if it were a f2 and it came down to the three of us, Josh and I would choose each other, so I need to do some work there to make him feel more comfortable in that three than he is now. I love Allison. Day 1 there was a tribe call and it ended up just being the two of us, and we watched a performance of Hamilton we did for show choir, and she is SO fun. I like her A LOT. Jessy? I like because she likes my dog. That's really all I have to say about her right now, yikes.

Me, looking at the wiki for the first time since premiere night: who the FUCK is Jessy???????

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Well I’m really bored right now waiting for a call to happen so I better start one of these. I’m really happy to be back here and I like the tribe. Sam and I spoke on the first minute of the game and reconnected due to previous relationship. I like her and definitely want to work far. I don’t think it’s in my best interest to go all the way with her but I think it’s a smart idea to keep her around for the current moment. She wanted to make an alliance between Lydia and us and I was okay because I find Lydia to be quite comical. We spoke on who could possibly be the tribe captain and Lydia agreed she would. I think working with Sam and Lydia short term is ideal mainly because they both have gone far in multiple seasons and know how to do it, so sticking with them can benefit me significantly. I consider them to be my #1 alliance for now just because I usually respect the first alliance I ever make. I also have a good relationship with Andrew. The two of us talked and agreed we would work together. I want him to do well in this game just because he’s never made merge (and I think hes really cute rip) and I think he would be someone to benefit me as an easy #1 ally. I’m not sure what long term plans are but all I know is I want him around and I will riot to whomever to ensure he stays. David I like as well. We both spoke and agreed we don’t want the other to be the first boot. Sam and Lydia seem to really like him so we know he can be the easy #4 to our alliance. The only people I’m not really aligned with so far are Austin, Catherine, and Connor, and ideally I want one of the three to be the first boot when we lose because MJ is too good at winterbells for us to possibly win. Austin kinda annoys me so far just because he reaches out to me every single day. And like I know hes been doing the same to others just by communicating with them and I find that to be messy. Like its one thing to talk to people once in a while, but to do so every day like that is a bit sketchy. And like he hasn’t even talked game with me, it’s all just personal talk. Which is nice, but I don’t want to be the first to talk game with everyone because it makes me a threat. Catherine I only spoke to once because I messaged her. We talked about her flopping in Galapagos. I know she has a relationship with Josh so she could be an easy boot, but at the same time that connection could help long term. As for Connor, I personally think he shouldn’t be here. He’s going through a lot personally losing someone close to him and I think he should take time off to grieve and stuff. But I can’t make that decision for him. Other than that, he hasn’t reached out to me so idk how to feel about him. A plus to aligning with Sam and Lydia so early on is that Lydia gave me the idol map for being the captain. I felt obligated to share it with them because I couldn’t lie and be like “Oh Lydia gave me this” early on. So now we’re all hunting for the idol. During this idol hunt I found the Amulet of Abduction. I plan on keeping this for the swap, that way if im in the minority I can get an alliance member over to my side and either screw their game over or regain majority on my tribe. But the Amulet stays to myself for now. And because we lost immunity, I gotta discuss the vote. So far I am loyal to Lydia and Sam, and I can get Andrew to do whatever Lydia, Sam, and I want to do. And they like David so I’m sure I can convince them to vote out one of the three ppl I haven’t spoken to. But yeah, I’ll update this later tonight cause I can’t flop playing for my first time in two years. It’s game on bitches, and I’m ready to play.

literally no one talks in this game and im so annoyed cause we lost the challenge and these people are acting like nothing even happened... oh well, hopefully i dont become the first boot cause my paranoia is getting me. like its really odd that no one is talking. in Ancient Greece no one really spoke to me, and i found out i was in the minority after that season ended. The only reason why i got far was because we ended up not losing challenges until swap and we just lost our first challenge so i hope it isnt me. i can't varner my ass out of this game cause its been 2 years and i just wanna play but no one wants to play which sucks!!!

So I'm gay and this tribe is a bunch of mutes. Basically I was on a call with Scott that ended up being 2 and a half hours? And now we're supposedly closest allies. Which is fun! Scott is really cool and I really AM hoping I'm his closest ally and he's not just pulling generic social game bullshit. But we also talked about the vote and he said Austin's name first. Not me! So I really want Austin to go home because he's a shady fuck. Like... Okay so he keeps talking about all of this shit that comes off as so fake. He says we have to break our curses and I'm like what's this "we" you heterosexual potato. Like he ain't good at these games and if he stays over me? I riot the streets. So yeah I talked to Sam a bit too and she - like Scott - told me I'm the person she's talking to the most. Which! Might be a lie. But ya know what I'll run with it. I'm also making a point to talk to Cat on the side because I love Cat and if she's not being super social then I wanna make a point to talk to her. My talks with David and Lydia are kinda spotty, and then I don't talk to Connor much. But he is going through some personal things right now and I hope he's okay so I'll obviously let him deal with that. Personal things prioritize these games for sure. TL;DR - I want to kick Austin's ass back to str8 lakes where it belongs. Just as long as I'm not the person bringing up his name first :~)

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[2017-06-08 6:37:55 PM] Trevor [Host of Hosts]: What is happening [2017-06-08 6:38:04 PM] Jessy: LITERALLY NOTHING WHICH IS WHY I'M SHOOK!! [2017-06-08 6:38:21 PM] Jessy: matt and i had a convo and he told me about regan giving him the advantage [2017-06-08 6:38:25 PM] Jessy: and i lied and acted like she didnt give it to me either [2017-06-08 6:38:32 PM] Jessy: and now im scared regan told him i got it too [2017-06-08 6:38:37 PM] Jessy: [6:02:22 PM] Jessy: hi [6:02:25 PM] Jessy: matt told me that [6:02:35 PM] Jessy: you gave him an advantage LKJBLKMASDLFKM and he shared the clue with me [6:02:41 PM] Jessy: i dont think he told anyone else tho so its not a big deal but [6:02:51 PM] Jessy: i want him to propose a f3 to u tonight w us [6:31:05 PM] Regan: Omg [6:31:10 PM] Regan: He said he guessed r [6:31:12 PM] Regan: And got it wrong [6:31:31 PM] Jessy: same [6:31:32 PM] Jessy: KLJSJKLS [6:31:45 PM] Jessy: can we pls f3 tbh [6:32:36 PM] Jessy: he doesnt know that i got the clues too right [6:32:36 PM] Jessy: SKLJSJKL [2017-06-08 6:38:59 PM] Jessy: i saw her go away and online within a min [2017-06-08 6:39:01 PM] Jessy: SO LIKE IM SHOOK SIS REPLY! [2017-06-08 6:39:15 PM] Trevor [Host of Hosts]: I love receipts [2017-06-08 6:39:39 PM] Jessy: if nothing is actually happening this is proof of my paranoia [2017-06-08 6:39:40 PM] Jessy: LSKJKLSJ

they're gonna vote me out first and it's so extremely obvious. how are these people considered all stars of the game when they make it so ridiculously obvious who they're voting for???

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[2017-06-10 1:55:26 AM] Jessy: btw mj will be first boot on this tribe [2017-06-10 1:55:27 AM] Jessy: know tht [2017-06-10 1:55:52 AM] Jessy: im not letting mj connor josh catherine go far. [2017-06-10 1:56:23 AM] Jessy: oh nd lydia [2017-06-10 2:34:50 AM] Jessy: r u gna make an edgic [2017-06-10 2:35:56 AM] Trevor [Host of Hosts]: I am, yes [2017-06-10 2:38:14 AM] Jessy: when im ottn>

Ok, so I think I proved my social game to be effective. This tribe is VERY quiet. No one is talking, and if they are it's very forced. Lydia kind of baited me into giving a name, but with that came no repercussions. Honestly, me name dropping Cat has spiraled into a FAST frenzy of game talk. It seems like Lydia spread it quick, so I do know now that she's taking full advantage of the trust our tribe has in her. David pointed out that he heard a Connah name drop, but I haven't heard that? I don't know if Lydia gave him that name or if someone else did, but I do enjoy knowing that there are 2 people my tribe sees as disposable over me. It's kind of nice not having to work my ass off to keep my name out of others' mouths. The social game isn't all that bad.

Fuck MJ and winterbells

So update after the first late night fiasco Lydia, Sam, and I agreed on Catherine as a target. I was okay with this just because she really hasn't approached me (or anyone) and hasn't made an effort to really want to play this game. We only spoke once (I reached out to her) and all we spoke about was how she flopped at Galapagos. Oh well, hopefully she actually goes tonight. As for how this game is going, I think I am in a good position. I think one thing I need to watch out for is how close David and Sam are. I need to keep Andrew close to me, and I think he is going to be a huge help to me. So far he's been trusting in informing me on whats going on. I am worried since Sam and Lydia contemplated sending him home first. Now as awful as this may sound, I think its best for my game to keep Austin close to me too. Even though I see him doing lots of damage since hes kinda on the outs, keeping him close to me and making him think he controls me is ideal for me. Just as long as he doesn't catch on to this all should be good... right? I'm definitely not as worried about the vote, however I think I need to try and get a sub-group going with people that aren't Sam and Lydia so that way if they become a sinking ship I have other lifeboats getting me out of heavy waters. I want to solidify something with David and Andrew, but part of me worries he will tell Sam and she'll think I'm trying to go against (plz say this in her Canadian accent) her. I think I can do well this season, just gotta hope someone's dumb twist doesn't screw me over

I'm stress eating Dairy Queen and I guess the vote is Cat idk why it wasn't Austin but whatever I just don't want it to be me thank you and goodnight

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Catherine and Connor never spoke to me about the vote and the vibe at camp is really sketchy so if i leave tonght rip me... but i had a good time and it was fun. Hopefully this isn't my last confessional

[2017-06-10 6:17:56 PM] Jessy: dw im gna send the most iconic conf ever! [2017-06-10 9:11:40 PM] Jessy: oh fuck i need to write it [2017-06-10 9:11:40 PM] Jessy: KLBVKLMSADFMKLDS [2017-06-10 9:11:52 PM] Jessy: if i submit it and someone already left can it still be counted for ep 1 [2017-06-10 9:16:34 PM] Trevor [Host of Hosts]: Submit it quick :|

#torchsnuffers #confessionals

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jubers2-blog · 7 years

Text

If Only Life Had A Pause Button

Short story by: Julianne

If Only Life Had A Pause Button

Hi, my name is Juliet. I have a story to tell you, but first a little bit about me. I am seventeen years old, in my senior year of highschool. My family consists of Mom (Pat), my Dad (John), and my brother (Samuel). I am the oldest, with my brother being 15. I have a wonderful girlfriend, her name is Amanda. My parents didn’t know about her until about a month ago. I told them I was gay, and I was kicked out of the house. I live with Amanda at the moment, but we will be going to college soon. I am so scared about how our relationship will be, and how I can handle not seeing her everyday. We will be 8 hours apart, and we are using our time to love as much as we can. Sometimes I wish that life can just have a pause button, so you can savor the sweetest moments just a bit longer. But life goes on, and time stops for no one.

One day I have been driving for hours, alone. I needed time to think about everything that’s been going on in the past few months. I have so much stress and anxiety, the only thing that keeps me going is Amanda. I would have been gone if not for her, I am thankful that I met her. I reach this abandoned town, clearly hasn’t been lived in for more than 10 years. The wood buildings are decaying, and the brick buildings are chipped and fainted. In what looks like town circle, there is a well. The well looks new and pristine, like it was built only a few days before. It was a beautiful opal color with flowers in the middle, it sprayed water oddly enough. In the whole town, this was the only thing that shined like the sun. I stood bewildered at the sight of this magnificent piece of art. Something drew me toward it, almost like someone was pushing me from behind. I looked at the water inside it, it had no pennies, no bugs, almost nothing at all. As I looked all around, I saw one thing. It was almost like it was meant for me, no, it was meant for me. As I pick up this coin, I see my initials. That’s all I see for what seemed like seconds, but must have been hours. As I look up from this coin, the sky is as dark as a black cat on halloween. And I see things, like…. Movie screens. But as I draw closer, there not movies. They are memories, my memories. They are scattered around this black void of a place, good and bad. Starting from when I was a kid until a few days ago. One of my most favorite ones was from a couple of months ago, when I was sitting with Amanda outside in the rain. I go up to that one first.

‘As I sit outside, under the awning in the rain with Amanda in my lap, I think. I think of my life, of my friends, of my family. I think of how I would give anything to stay in this moment forever, to be so happy bundled up with someone I love so dearly. I think of how we met in this moment, the first day of Highschool. I was about to walk into the doors, in a new school district, nervous as hell, when this girl bumps into me. I dropped all of my books onto the floor, dropping to grab them I hear, “ I’m so sorry”! “ It’s ok” I say. As I look up from the floor at this girl who bumped into me and is now helping me gather my books, I see the most beautiful girl I have ever seen. She had long dirty blonde hair and brown eyes with black eyeliner surrounding them. She wore a Panic! At the disco shirt and black vans. She looked at me with such a guilty expression, “Are you okay” she said. “Yeah, i’m okay” i said shyly. “Well…. I’m sorry again, I’m Amanda, and you are”? “My name is Juliet, im new”. “Well that’s one hell of a way to meet someone, huh. Let me help you to your first class.” “ Okay, thank you.” I said with a small smile. We had so many classes together, she was so sweet and kind and I can’t even begin to explain her. We became best friends and hung out all of the time. She introduced me to all her friends, and I became relatively well known in the school. As the year went on, our feelings developed. As the end of the year came along, her parents invited me to go on summer vacation with them. We had our own hotel room, with one big bed. We spent a two months in Florida, and I had the best time. We were by the beach this one time, splashing in the ocean, when she asked me,” Juliet, who do you really have a crush on, you tell me it’s Tommy, but you never talk to or about him”. “You really want to know, you won’t get mad or uncomfortable?” “Of course not, I love you, you’re my best friend.” “ Well…. It’s.. you.” Her eyes lit up with confusion. “I’m sorry, I shouldn’t have told you. Never mind, i’ll get over it.” She came up to my face, that was looking down, and lifted it up. She cupped her hand to my cheek and with the warmest, most heartfelt look, she kissed me. My mind went blank for about thirty seconds, then she whispered to me, “You’ve been mine for awhile.” After that, we let our relationship grow. We have been together for almost three years.’

The one part of my life that is keeping me happy is Amanda and the support from her family. They made me feel like I had a home when my parents didn’t. I was brought up Roman Catholic, and my parents are very strict and religious. My whole life I was taught to obey God and to listen to the bible. I never felt real love from my parents, but that all changed when Amanda introduced me to her parents. I got to know them and I told them everything that went on in my life. When me and Amanda started dating, her parents grew even more loving to me, I would consider them as my mom and dad more than anyone. Her little sister is the best to, she is sixteen and we are all like best friends. We all hung out, and still do now, all the time. I see a memory of all of us at the amusement park one time, I approach it vigorously. ‘ “Juliet” I hear my name being screamed as I watch Amanda go upside down on a roller coaster. I laugh to myself, she loved her sister enough to go on the scariest of roller coasters, even though she hated them. As I wait for them to get off, I get a seat at the restaurant in the park with their parents. They arrive about fifteen minutes later. “We got pizza” said her Mother. “I see that” said Amanda. We all giggled a bit. “Are you going to eat Sam” I said to Amanda’s little sister. “Save me some, I feel like i’m going to puke” she said. Amanda looked a little pissed, Sam was the one who wanted to go on the roller coaster in the first place. As the day went on, Amanda and I were exhausted. Her parents wanted to go and get dinner, but we wanted to go home. So her parents dropped us off at the hotel to take a nap. We went up to the room, took off our jeans, and layed down on the bed. “I’m so tired and my feet hurt.” said Amanda. "I know me too" I said. I kissed her with a loving passion. Eventually things got heated. She straddled me and kissed me harder, and slightly started to grind down on my hips. I moaned in her mouth lightly. Things went pretty far that night.

As I walk a bit, I see more memories, some I haven’t thought of in so long. I see one I’m not to fond of, It was when I realized how closed minded my parents were, there are a couple actually.

‘ As i walk with my parents down the pier, we see so many people walk by. Its mid July, so this place is big for tourists and locals to go on vacation. At the time I was about fourteen years old, so I kinda knew I was into girls. I was going to tell my parents at dinner that night, I thought it would be a good time even though I was the most scared I had ever been. This girl walks bye, she had beautiful, chestnut hair in the style of a pixie cut. She wore a Black veil brides tee and black shorts, and she had heavy black eyeliner. At the time, she was one of the most beautiful people I had ever seen. “Uhh, look at that girl. She looks like a hoodlum, and she needs to wipe that makeup off. Juliet, if you ever look like that I would kick you out in less than a second.” Said my mother. “ Oh…okay mom” I was so discouraged, because I liked the way she looked. I am no preppy girl, but i’m not full on emo either. I kinda fall closer to grunge, just not at home. “ I bet she one of those… homos, what do they call them…..a fag” I could not believe my ears. I was no longer even thinking about telling them, knowing it would do no good. After that, I realized how my parents viewed the world, and the real me was not apart of their book.

But out of them, I see the best memory of all. It was the time that me and Amanda first got intimate with each other. This was such a sweet night.

‘As I sit by the pool, looking at my reflection, I see a face next to mine. “Hey baby.” said Amanda. We were at a party and she was mingling with the others, I am not much of a party person. Most of them were eighteen to nineteen years old, and we were only sixteen. That made the event even worse, older people scare me. “Hey, how’s it going?” I say. “It would be better if you were with me, come on.” “Okay” I say. We walk up to a group of people, and for some reason we start talking about sex. “I lost mine when I was like…..fifteen, sixteen.” said some guy with long brown hair. “Same” said another. Me and Amanda were waiting for the perfect time for this special occasion, and It had not come up yet. We talked for another hour or so and it was starting to get late. “Well it’s getting late and I’m exhausted, you ready to go Juliet?” “Yeah, let’s go” We walked to the taxi, and headed home. When we got there, no one was home. We went to Amanda’s room. We laid on her bed when she said to me” I love you, you know that.” “ I love you too” We laid there, looking deeply into each other eyes. I kissed her softly on the lips, letting her feel the love I had for her through it. She put her hands up my shirt, tracing my skin with her slightly cold fingers. I took off her shirt, and she ripped off mine. “ I love you so much” I said in a lustful voice. I started to kiss her neck, giving her love bites as I trailed down. I took her jeans off, slowly. She was left in nothing but her bra and underwear, so I took my jeans off to. We kissed each other in blissful passion. I made sure she felt as much love as I could give, and she returned that to me I took of her bra and for a moment admired her breasts. I kissed her nipples and started to go down her body. As I approached her crotch, I stopped and started to kiss her thighs. I kissed up and gave her a small kiss on her panties. I went to take off her underwear slowly, using my teeth. I kissed her and licked her and she moaned and it was the most beautiful thing I've ever heard.’ What we had that night bonded us in a way nothing else did. The love we felt, and still feel, is beyond compare.

Then I see my latest, the one where I found the fountain. I look and I see more memories, but they’re not memories. Its me, but it’s things I have not experienced yet. I see me and Amanda, our future, our wedding, ….our kids. I start to cry, I can’t believe how this may be my life. I turn back to my latest memory again. As I gaze upon it I pass out. I wake up, dazed and confused. I’m next to the fountain in the abandoned town. I run to my car and drive home. Amanda should be home from work now. I run into the house and yell her name. “Amanda!!!” She was making dinner, I ran into her arms and gave her a big kiss, tears rolling from my eyes. “Are you okay?” “I’m fine, I love you so much. We are going to have a beautiful life together.” We sat and ate dinner, and told her about my experience. She was astonished and did not believe me at first.

We had a beautiful life together. I went to college and became a well known photographer in my area. Amanda also went to college and became a high school teacher. We had a beautiful wedding and went on so many adventures. We had three kids. We adopted one and Amanda carried two. Two beautiful girls and a wonderful boy. Our lives were so happy, and we gave our kids everything we could. I go back to the fountain in my old age, and I look at all the happy times I had. The birth of my children, my accomplishments as a parent, and all the things that made me happy. Amanda died when she was seventy eight years old. I write this to you, in my old age, missing my wife more than words can explain. My life was hard, but I loved it so much. I will soon see my love, when I pass. I will be young and happy again, restart my life in a different body. I may have learned where to stop time, but i rather live my life the way its supposed to be.

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