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mydear-corinthian · 2 months

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Protection || Thomas Shelby x reader

Synopsis: You were protecting your son, Charlie when Billy Kimber's men ambushed your shared home. Pairing: Thomas Shelby x reader Warnings: ANGST w/ comfort, reader gets injured, gun violence, mentions of blood, swearing, Grace's being mentioned once - s2 spoiler Notes: Not proofread, grammatical errors, GIF is mine Click here to find the main masterlist. Click here to find the PEAKY BLINDERS masterlist.

As another regular evening took place, a sense of peace descended over Thomas Shelby and his wife's shared home. While Tommy was busy with his business and papers, you found yourself wandering the enormous area of the estate with your young son, Charlie.

Marriage with Tommy wasn't for the faint of heart. You were highly aware of the ongoing danger that accompanied his lifestyle, the circulating threats and enemies that followed your husband's every step. Despite the obvious risks your love for him remained strong. You treasured him not as an infamous gangster, but as the man who made you feel valued, protected, and appreciated.

There was nothing but silence in the huge home; you could hear the clock ticking and the curtains flapping as the breeze shook the cloth. It was a Saturday night, so the maids weren't working, leaving you and Charlie alone. Charlie's eyelids were going drowsy as you cuddled him, softly caressing his back and humming his favorite lullaby. Looking at the clock, you realized how late it was, and Tommy hadn't returned home yet.

You heard the main entrance door open with a loud bang. Although it seemed strange, you assumed Tommy was just returning from a stressful day at work. Charlie woke up from his sleep and let out a loud cry when you heard gunfires as you were ready to leave your shared room. You were so terrified that you thought your legs were paralyzed. Without wasting any time, you grabbed Charlie and put his little body against your shoulder, giving him a tight hug.

With Charlie in one hand, you dashed to the door, locked it almost instantly, and took out the Enfield No. 2 six-bullet handgun that your husband had given you as a birthday present from the nightstand's drawer. You grab the gun and duck into the shared bedroom's bathroom, shutting the door behind you.

The room was filled with the sound of the little Shelby's piercing cries, which seemed to come from every corner. You tried so hard to soothe him, cooing softly, but all it did was make his cries louder and more echoing through the walls. As you tried to calm him, your hands trembled with fear and your fingers stuttering, a sign of your growing terror running down your face. You felt powerless in the face of Charlie's constant tears, and you started to search for a way out of the mess.

You started nervously to pray while holding a child in your arms. Tears were beginning to fall from your eyes and the prayers were mumbling on your lips.

Charlie and you were found by whoever was in your shared room as you heard the door slam. Breathless, you lowered your son onto the empty, shallow bath tub behind you and spoke to him to stop crying. and that you will return quickly. When the toilet door opened, two armed men in a hideous black suit and a top hat appeared; they were Billy Kimber workers.

One of the armed men circled around you and exclaimed, "Aye look, it's Mrs. Shelby," as you aimed your handgun at him, your hands shaking with terror. You've never been skilled with a gun. Tommy giving you a gun like that surprised you. He would not stop stating, "You'll use that in the future."

and perhaps the future was today.

"Suprised a Shelby doesn't know how to use a gun. How about we gift Thomas Shelby the lifeless body of his dear wife?" the man laughed. You raised the gun without thinking, your hand steady from the rush of adrenaline pumping through you, and took aim at the man's skull. The bullet cracked sharply and shot out of the barrel, piercing the air and hitting its target with terrifying accuracy. With a bleak proof to your determination, fortune smiled on you as the bullet hit accurate, plunging into the man's forehead with fatal force and instantly taking his life.

Attempting to fire another shot to the other man, you missed.

Suddenly, you heard a bang go off but paid no mind. Attempting to shoot again, you finally succeded; three bullets all over the now lifeless man's torso. The sight of the lifeless bodies made you feel sick but you chose to ignore it as you dropped your used gun to go and grab Charlie and ask for help. You grabbed your son right away, immediately hugging him and kissed his little forehead.

Suddenly, you heard a familiar voice calling out your name; Tommy.

His voice reaching out for you made you sigh with relief. Your husband ran toward you as your legs found their way to the stairs to return to him. You embraced him, resting your head on his chest and taking in his manly scent as you exhaled. "Oh god, Tommy.."

She took Charlie out of your arms and gave you a minute to rest in Tommy's calming presence in Polly's comforting presence. Tommy's hand gently cradled the back of your head as you leaned into him, seeking solace from the chaos of the moment in his gentle, comforting touch. His voice, a comforting whisper that passed through the chaos, whispered, "You're safe now, love."

He felt a warm wetness on his dark blue vest, making him break the hug to see what it was.

Tommy's eyes widened in fear at what he saw, and he let out a gasp. Once an image of elegance, your immaculate white evening gown now had a scarlet stain of blood creeping across it, the color standing out against the fabric. The room seemed to spin in a dizzying twister, threatening to paralyze you as the color faded from your face, your face was pale and your vision seemed to spin like a twister.

"Did you get shot?" he worriedly asked. Confused by his question, you looked down at your stomach, seeing the color red slowly colonizing your white evening gown.

"I - I um.. Tommy, I feel dizzy.." your fragile legs gave up, his strong arms catched you almost immediately.

Your eyes were starting to drop, your body was slowly getting cold, your muscles giving up.

"T - Tommy, why is so cold..?"

Fuck, he mentally cursed at the sight that met his eyes. It was as if God had judged him once more. Grace - this seemed so familiar. His fingers were shaking with fear and worry, his eyes were beginning to water, and his heart had stopped.

"We need a medic!" Polly shouted.

He tries to calm himself down by caressing the strands of your hair before tucking it behind your ear. "Please, stay." he begged.

His frustration was boiling over and his impatience was burning in the way he spoke. He gave orders for the medics with a strong edge to his voice, desperation and anger infusing each word as he demanded their immediate presence.

"Tommy.." you softly called his name before darkness took you.

Your stomach hurt and your brain throbbed when you woke up. Beside you, you noticed your husband uncomfortably sleeping on the wooden chair. You noticed that the ash tray on the table stand next to you was filled with used cigarettes, indicating that you had been out for a while. You were trying to sit up and Tommy woke up to the sound of your pained moans. His bright blue eyes met yours. Eyebags developed under his eyes as a result of struggling to sleep due to the chance that you wouldn't wake up anymore.

"Easy, love." he said.

In an attempt to prevent him from harming you, he cradled your back so you could lie down peacefully once more—as though you were a piece of glass that would shatter the moment it was touched.

He deeply blames himself for what happened to you. If only he was there that night. If only he went home early, you and Charlie wouldn't be in this situation.

"Where's Charlie?" you asked right away, your eyes looking everywhere in the room to see if your child was there or not.

"He's with Aunt Pol, (y/n). He's safe with her, don't worry."

With both of his hands clasped around yours, he sobbed out loud in front of you, unable to stop himself from crying. He felt responsible, guilty, and like a terrible partner for failing to give you protection.

"I'm sorry, I'm sorry.." he cried as he apologized, kissing your hands.

You smiled softly as you placed your right hand on his face for him to look at you.

"It's not your fault, Tommy. The good thing is that me and Charlie are safe." reassuring, you gave him a weak smile.

"I thought I lost you." he exhaled in exhaustion, standing up as he kissed your head.

"I would never leave you, Tommy."

"Please don't."

#peaky blinders #peaky blinder fanfic #peaky blinders x reader #tommy shelby #thomas shelby #thomas shelby x reader #tommy shelby x reader #cillian murphy #cillian murphy x reader #peaky blinders angst #angst with a happy ending #x reader

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kitchenisking · 3 months

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March Fic Rec

back to back recs cuz I wasn't paying attention to the weeks fly by😅

Obsession by Rae666 - (Rating: Mature, Words: 2,399, sterek)

Derek gets hit by a witch's curse and is confined to his loft as his uncle searches for a cure and Isaac stands guard. But as the curse grows worse and Derek's obsession with a certain pale skinned person becomes increasingly intense, how long can the team keep Derek and Stiles apart, especially when Stiles decides to take matters into his own hands?

The Wolf by rororowyourboat - (Rating: G, Words: 3,901, sterek)

Stiles and Derek haven't seen each other in years, but after talking on the phone nonstop for months now, Derek is finally moving back to Beacon Hills. The day he's supposed to arrive, he stops responding to Stiles' texts, and then a blue-eyed wolf shows up on his porch steps. Obviously something has happened to Derek, and Stiles needs to help him out... right?

Tease by katrint - (Rating: Explicit, Words: 4,852, sterek)

Stiles is used to Derek being all growly, claiming and rough when he gets jealous, but when something that usually would make Derek all the above happens, and Derek shows no interest in Stiles whatsoever, Stiles starts to worry.

Ulterior Motives by useyrwordsderek - (Rating: Explicit, Words: 11,082, sterek)

In which Stiles is warm for Derek’s form, Derek is repressed, and Erica is awesome. (Lydia is also awesome, but that goes without saying.) Author’s notes: Set after Season 2; mild spoilers for all of S1 and S2. Previously posted to LJ. My first Teen Wolf fic! Be gentle!

It feels like a perfect night (for breakfast at midnight) by princecharmingwinks - (Rating: G, Words: 1,068, sterek)

Stiles is floating on cloud nine. He is absolutely living his best life. It's a Saturday night, he's out with his friends and he's dancing like it's his birthday. Because it is! (Or it will be in 20 minutes, once midnight ticks around). And what better way to celebrate the respectful age of 22 than a night out?

The Hale Beast by secretfanboy - (Rating: Mature, Words: 17,707, sterek)

Stiles would rather be at home playing X-Box than attending the ceremony inaugurating the Wolf nation's sovereignty over the Argent kingdom, but he's the Sheriff's son so those are the breaks. What he doesn't expect is the feral werewolf Prince Derek AKA The Beast to take an interest in him.

He was alone with the Beast. His heart started pounding its way up into his throat. A burst of static came from his cell phone. "Scott! Oh my god! He's here! The Hale Beast is here with me and I'm alone and no one is here to witness when he kills me...to death!"

Treasure by Hedwig221b - (Rating: Explicit, Words: 71,231, sterek)

“I know you don’t trust me,” Derek grunted. When Stiles inhaled to retort, Derek caught his chin and pressed a finger against his lips, making the boy freeze in place, eyes impossibly wide. “Don’t argue. I expected it. Wolves don’t trust easily, too. I just wanted you to know that… I’m sorry. I was selfish and didn’t see what was in front of me. You don’t need to worry. I’ll take care of everything.”

It was a thought that grew in his mind, spread to his heart and took root there, reincorporating into a deep desire and a vital need. Derek will take care of him and his little pup, he’ll bring the hearts of his enemies and put them at the boy’s feet. He’ll court and he’ll conquer.

The Mending That You Need by torakowalski - (Rating: Explicit, Words: 3,861, sterek)

“He’s not my boyfriend, Stiles. He’s a man from a club. I couldn’t call him, if I wanted to.”

Even Forbidden Fruits Get Picked by flitterflutterfly - (Rating: Explicit, Words: 18,658, sterek)

When Stiles’ best friend gets himself bitten by a rogue werewolf, Stiles convinces him to seek aide from the local pack. Stiles tags along, ready to help Scott despite the knowledge that he likely wouldn’t be welcome. After all, Doms rarely ever approved of Stiles and he thought the Hales would be no exception. So he was surprised to find that not only had the rogue seemed to develop some kind of creepy fascination with him, the young alpha wolf, Derek, seemed to want him as well.

Transformation by sffan - (Rating: T, Words: 1,885, sterek)

“Dude. You turned into a wolf. What the hell? When did that start being a thing?”

#sterek #derek hale #stiles stilinski #fanfiction #stiles x derek #kitcheniskingficrecs #ficrec #fanfic

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thefanficmonster · 3 months

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Reader being jealous of Carmen and Sydney

Oooh I love that idea, dear! Hope you enjoy 💕

Pairing: Carmen "Carmy" Berzatto x Reader (Gender Neutral)

Warnings: Smoking, Swearing, Minor SPOILERS for The Bear (S2)

Genre: Fluff, Humor, Romance

The regular hustle and bustle of people making their way home from work has taken over Chicago now that the clock has passed 3 PM. Although sounds of chaos have been rattling the establishment since the hollow ungodly hours of the morning. Shouting bouncing off the walls, shit breaking, Fak and Richie being Fak and Richie. And all you've been trying to do is difuse the situation.

Sugar needs a break, as she very clearly told you with a single glance from across the room. You gave her a nod and let her close herself off in her office to take a breather while you took over keeping the circus in a somewhat straight line.

Currently, you're on your hands and knees, scraping all the debris and dirt that's gotten on the new tiles while the rest of the repairs were still taking place. You warned Carmy the tiles would look far from new if they were the first thing he chose to replace but he still stubbornly put his foot down on the matter. And now he realizes he shot himself in that same foot, giving you an apologetic look from where he's standing.

"Quit staring, Berzatto. Do your job." You scoff, continuing your task with a newfound aggression that threatens to take out the whole tile not just the stain.

You've been blowing him off and avoiding him all day - quite the abnormality since arguing with him is to you what a cup of coffee is to other people. A day for you ain't right unless it starts with a disagreement with him. To be fair, it still is a fight, just a silent one. It all but guarantees you a win when he can't even defend himself, oblivious to how he could've pissed you off in the first place.

"Why are you being mean?" It irritates you, that tone of amusement to his voice. He's entertained, he's fucking enjoying himself.

"I'm always mean." You reply without even sparing him a glance. Your point is accentuated when you hit Richie's knee with your free hand just as he starts getting rowdy with Fak. He yelps, scowling down at you before lifting his arms up in surrender. "See?"

Looking up, you see Carmy is no longer in his previous spot. Instead, he's knelt down a couple feet away from you, a scraping tool of his own in hand. "Oh I see just fine, Chef."

Your skin flushes with heat as you try to curb your annoyance - how is the fucker winning an argument he doesn't even know he's entered. "Not well enough as it would seem." You tap the stain he'd scraped at once or twice before moving on to the next, "This doesn't look clean to me, Chef." The amount of bitterness and sass compacted into that single word is almost palpable in the air between you two.

"Alright, that's it." He says, exasperated, dropping the tool and getting to his feet. He dusts his knees before offering you a hand, "Cigarette, now."

You don't budge, still at the stain you've been struggling with for the past five minutes, "I'm busy. Ask Syd."

At that, Carmen has the audacity to straight up laugh. That's' what pushes you to reach your boiling point. You look up to tell him the fuck off just to have the tool swiftly stolen from your grasp, "Hey!"

"Cigarette, Chef. Now." His eyebrows are raised, giving you an earnest look that is meant to pull at the strings of your apperhension. He's not dumb, he can see you're particularly ticked off today. He can also take an accurate guess as to why. But he sure as hell isn't about to have that talk in front of Dumb and Dumber. Not that they'd pay you two much mind considering they've entered another screaming match but still - they have a tendency of paying attention when one would least want them to.

You feel like a child being scolded for throwing a tantrum. The only reason you oblige and stand up is to preserve your own pride. You make a point of not taking the offered hand, getting to your feet yourself and dusting off the pants of your overalls that have now been decorated with a lot of dust.

Contant is still established when Carmy grabs your hand, leading you to the back door and out in the alleyway. To be frank, here, it's not like you tried to wiggle free from his grasp but that's semantics at this point.

He plucks a pack of cigarettes from his pocket, taking two out. He traps one between his lips before extending the other to you.

You're not a regular smoker but you also don't turn it down when you're offered one. Especially not when you're stressed. With that taken into consideration, despite Carmen being the root of your stress at the moment, you still accept the offer and reach up for the cigarette.

Much to your annoyance, however, he snatches it away before you can take it.

Your hand balls up in a fist as you glare daggers and any other sharp objects at his smug expression. With a shake of his head and a fucking chuckle he offers it again, hoping you got the memo this time around.

The only reason you cave is just so you can put an end to this back-and-forth. So, despite your better judgement you bite the bullet and lean in, taking the cigarette between your lips.

It brings a smile to his face that you happily smack off had you not been at work at the moment. Instead, you focus your gaze on the flame he flicks on and inches closer to the cherry of your cigarette.

You take a long drag, inhaling the smoke with relief. It doesn't last long though since Carmen just has to open his mouth again.

"I'll ask you again - why are you being mean?" He lets out a cloud of smoke in the air, once more exhibiting exasperation you believe he has no right to feel.

Your jaw is set and so are your narrowed eyes as you follow suit - releasing the nicotine from your lungs, "And I'll tell you again - I'm always mean. I'll do you one better - why are you wasting time? We've got a lot of shit to do and we gotta do it in a very short fucking time and you're here taking smoke breaks! Sugar is losing her mind, Fak and Richie are gonna kill each other, Cicero is breathing down our necks, Syd is counting on you..."

"And you're not?" He cuts you off, the smugness now long gone from his features.

One hand rests on your hip while the other brings the cigarette back to your lips, "That doesn't matter."

You're almost satisfied to see the irritation you've been feeling all day now take hold of him, "Like hell it fucking doesn't."

Rolling your eyes, you flick your wrist to check your watch, "You should get going. Don't you have a menu consultation with Syd?" You mumble around the tobacco stick in your mouth, avoiding his gaze entirely now that you've lost all sense of subtlety to your anger.

If he were to ask you point blank if you are jealous of his close partnership with Syd, you'd laugh. And it is indeed laughable when you factor in the knoledge of how disinterested she is in terms of Carmy outside of a work setting. But still there's that nagging little piece of shit voice in your head...

Before you know it, Carmy has discarded his cigarette and has closed the space between the two of you. One set of fingers tilt up your chin while the other plucks the cigarette from your mouth. You're given no time to argue before his lips crash into yours.

You kiss him back instinctively, your brain momentarily short-circuting and conveniently wiping all the anger from your system. It returns only briefly when Carmy pulls awat from you. "It can wait."

You reestablish your sass a second later, grounding yourself into the annoyed act once more, "Nope, none of that." You shake your head, taking a step back, "I can handle you being corny but not inefficient and irresponsible." You steal back your cigarette before waving him off, "Go on, shoo."

His bright blue eyes twinkle with amusement, crinkles appearing at their corners as his face is lit up by a smile, "Alright, alright." He mutters in defeat. Still, he manages to sneak a kiss at the corner of your lips before reentering the restaurant-to-be. He stops in the dorrway, turning around to face you, "We're doing a movie night tonight. For real, this time."

A small chuckle escapes you as you attempt to feign nonchalance with a shrug, "You said the same fucking thing last time."

He points a finger at you, giving you his word, in a way, "You'll see." With that, he disappears inside, leaving you to finish your cigarette alone and with the dorkiest smile adorning your face.

It turns into a full blown laugh at the thought of how offended Syd would be if she knew of that little spark of jealousy within you. Truthfully, you owe her an apology.

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muddyorbsblr · 7 months

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all will be alright in time [rtc what if…?]

'relinquish the crown' masterlist See my full list of works here!

Summary: Loki makes a realization about his role of keeping watch over the timelines when a branch slips from his grasp | sequel to 'bigger than the whole sky'

Pairing: Loki (God of Stories/Time) x Reader

Word Count: 6k [pls prep some drinkies & snacks before going in]

Warnings: 18+ | angst with a happy ending; some steamy moments at the end; this is the RTC universe so…themes of incest if you squint (he's adopted but still…); Loki S2 finale spoilers [let me know if i missed anything!]

Things to be aware of: no prior reading of RTC is required but reading 'bigger than the whole sky' is kind of required…

Dick-tionary: steamy moments (but no outright smut) starts at "We'll need it, my love." and ends at "Happy anniversary, my love"

Time moved differently from where Loki sat, in his throne beyond space and time. It was as if he was simultaneously between two ticks of the clock and experiencing every moment to ever happen in every multiversal timeline all at once. He wouldn't be able to tell if two seconds or two millennia had passed since he bid you farewell.

All he knew was the routine he established. The one that functioned as his own form of a personal clock.

First he would choose one of the timelines at random, monitoring for any threats that could potentially be beyond the capabilities of that world's defenders. More often than not an iteration of Thor would be among that group, so he would check on the blond oaf as well.

In the timelines where his brother mourned him, he would send a snake or a black cat his way. The god's way to send a message. I miss you, too, Brother.

Then he would check on you within that timeline. He found that in a few of those lives you were not in league with his brother, but rather one of the innocents, living your life in a constant state of elevated awareness, anxiously waiting for the next invasion and preparing accordingly. In those lives, you found love with an echo of him. A hotel night manager. A decommissioned military tracker. Even a prince in some timelines. And in a few occasions, an actor.

After that he would check on your timeline. His final stop on his personal clock. Every time a slight anxiety would wash over him, wondering what he would find when he saw you this time.

The first few moons worth of visits he found you in bed, curled into a ball and clutching his pillow. You'd cried yourself to sleep, the disquiet showing on your features even in your slumbering state. You grieved long past what was customary in Asgard, seemingly returning to your wardrobe set in onyx fabric when in truth if one looked close enough it was truly set in the deepest emerald.

Grieving for the living. What a peculiar concept that ruled both your lives.

It was only after a year that you'd begun to re-integrate yourself into Asgard's society, most of your steps fumbling and truly only powering through with the support and occasional aid of your family, mainly Sif and Frigga. You'd made amends with Thor and Odin, apologizing for your behavior while you were under the effects of the spell that locked away your memories, telling them what you could of yours and Loki's story when you became ready.

Lately you'd been working on restructuring some lessons within the school curriculum, assuring that the information was kept up to date and refining where necessary. It gave the god a semblance of peace knowing that there was something that could finally occupy your mind that somewhat gave you some form of satisfaction.

With every cycle he checked on you the longest. Stayed with you until you were fast asleep.

After two years you visited Midgard, blending among the denizens of a town that still reverently worshipped the gods of Asgard and stayed with Loki's altar for a fortnight. You spoke with him as if he was right there in the sanctuary standing beside you, your hand still instinctively twitching to reach for his even after all the time that had passed.

Your last day on Midgard you placed an offering at the altar. Loki could have sworn his heart stopped beating for a good few moments once he caught sight of the gold wedding band laying atop the offering plate. "Husband, I know not if you can see or hear me, but I wanted you to have this. It's a Midgardian tradition, I know, but it's one that I was always quite fond of. To wear something on ourselves that could serve as a symbol of our love. Our fealty to one another. Had I not been under the spell's influence during our wedding I would have chosen to include this in our ceremony. This is the closest I will ever get to giving this to you, but I wanted you to have it regardless."

You placed your hands onto the altar, the god's air catching at the back of his throat and tears welling up in his eyes once he saw the matching gold band around your finger.

"I love you and I miss you desperately and always, my darling husband." You pressed your lips to the black and gold marble altar before walking away, keeping your head down to shield your tears.

It was possible that you'd assumed that the ring, similar to all other offerings on his and the neighboring altars, would either be swiped by a nameless faceless passerby or cleared away throughout the periodic tidying of the sanctuary. That it wouldn't even have crossed your mind that the moment that no eyes were on his altar, he'd conjured the ring over to him, and it was now worn on his finger for him to look upon fondly as he checked on you, pressing his lips to the gold band once you'd tucked yourself into bed for the night, hoping that somehow you would feel the message he was sending you through space and time.

Goodnight, little Princess. I shall see you again tomorrow.

In the years that had passed, you continued to work on various texts, constantly revising on parchments and going back and forth in the library you held in your chambers, still so careful not to disturb Loki's side of the shelves that housed his journals and textbooks. The work had kept your mind occupied, and the people that surrounded you offered pleasant enough company that from an outsider's perspective, you seemed almost as lively as you once were.

They couldn't see that your smile never reached your eyes. They never heard the clipped quality of your laughter or how you would cut it short, the slight wince in your features as if you were admonishing yourself for granting yourself the permission to laugh. And the way that you would start playing with your wedding band straight after.

When he checked on you during what would have been the tenth anniversary of your wedding day, he found you once again curled up in your bed, shaking and screaming into a pillow as sobs wracked your body.

He couldn't help himself. He reached out to you, a breeze blowing through and ruffling your hair in a gentle caress despite all the closed windows and doors in your chambers. You immediately stilled your movements afterward, clutching your pillow tighter against yourself.

"I'm sorry, husband," you spoke into the quiet. "It hurts monumentally worse today."

For the first time in what felt like eons, he was unable to fight the urge of his hand twitching and reaching for yours. And his heart dropped as he felt a branch slip from his grasp.

"No," he hissed in a panic, already moving away from his throne to start chasing after it before the light inside of it began to fade and the branch would die.

Only it didn't. The green glow emanating from the branch remained as vibrant as it was when it was within Loki's grasp. It didn't even move too far away that he'd been able to return it to his hand after a few strides, as if nothing had happened.

"What--"

"I need to be honest, God of Time," a voice spoke from the void. "I was hoping you'd come to this realization a bit sooner."

"Who's out there?!" he yelled out, already conjuring duplicates of himself to be at the ready in case he would need to fight. "Show yourself, intruder."

First a pair of white glowing orbs materialized a mere few feet from where you once were the day that Loki last saw you. And then a body that resembled that of monks on Midgard, in robes that vaguely resembled the ones that he also wore, only set in different colors.

"There is no need to be alarmed, son of Odin. I pose no threat to you. I am the Watcher. I monitor all events within the multiverse, and I have been keeping an eye on how you have been adjusting to your new responsibility as the savior of the timelines."

"How did you get here?" He hadn't done away with his duplicates yet. Each of them were still poised to attack if this Watcher was lying and threatened the safety of the timelines. Any timeline.

"I was made aware of another set of eyes watching over the multiverse once you ascended your throne," the Watcher explained. "This plane is unreachable to most beings within these universes that we watch over, that is true. I am here and I can reach you because I live in the same plane. Think of it as a different room within a house."

"What realization did you speak of earlier?" He made the decision to move the topic along, his question about the branch not dying despite slipping from his fingers truly being the most pressing matter.

"You created a tree," the Watcher answered simply. "In its infancy, like any living thing, it requires a great amount of care. Do you agree?"

Why was this person speaking to him as if he were a child? "Yes, of course, but this doesn't explain what--"

"After it has been given enough time and care, however," he continued, not allowing the god to finish his sentence. "Would you also agree that it would not require as close of a supervision? Once a tree has grown to a certain size, on Earth or Asgard or any other realm, it requires less frequent tending to. It draws most of its energy, its nutrients, its life…from its foundation. The roots have become strong enough to support the rest of the tree, for the most part."

"I…I believe I'm beginning to see your point."

"You've created a tree," he repeated. "And its roots have taken form. They have strengthened. Now I know quite well how you are when spoonfed your answers, so I will leave the rest of this lesson for you to discover on your own. Be well, God of Time."

With that, the Watcher disappeared, once again leaving Loki on his lonesome. The lesson still not fully learned and due a good deal of experimentation.

He started with one branch in each hand, letting them slip from his grasp and observing how they behaved. When there was no visible change and he'd realized that he couldn't feel any loss of life within those two branches, he released another pair. And another. And another.

Suddenly the lesson became crystal clear. He need not keep such vigilant watch on the timelines any longer. Much like a tree, it can be left to grow and flourish on its own, needing only the occasional visit to fortify and further nourish its foundation.

He could step down from this throne removed from time and space. He could end his isolation.

He could come home. To you.

It took a good long while, it could have been minutes or it could have been years, seeing as he constantly reinforced each branch with enough of his magic before setting them free. But finally his hands were empty, and the cape that had refashioned itself to hold more timelines roamed free as well.

He took a few moments to re-familiarize himself with his range of motion, bending and stretching in various positions to ensure that there were no sore points in his body. After that, it didn't take him long to decide on his next course of action.

Before he opened up a portal to his destination, he reinforced the foundation of the tree one last time, hopefully putting enough of a buffer that it would be a good long while before he would need to return.

Hopefully when he did, he would not be walking through the portal alone.

Once he was satisfied with the tree's reinforcements, and he could see that each branch was still existing safely and peacefully in its own place within the multiverse, he conjured a portal. Leading to the familiar corridors of Asgard's palace.

He'd forgotten what it felt like to have the sun on his face, to hear the footsteps of Asgard's people echoing throughout the halls. The sudden onslaught to his senses nearly disoriented him, but he persisted, striding down the hall and barely noticing how the people he passed began to look upon him and whisper words along the lines of Is that him? He's returned? Must we alert someone?

Soon enough he'd arrived at the doors to your chambers, nearly stumbling on his own feet because he couldn't move through the doors fast enough. "Y/N?" he called out, hoping that perhaps he'd arrived at an early enough hour of the day that you were still inside, preparing yourself for your duties ahead.

When enough time had passed with no answer, he accepted that he would have to embark on a search throughout the palace to find you.

"Before I have the guards take you, I expect you to explain yourself," a familiar aged voice pierced the silence of the room. "Who are you and why are you in the princess' marital cham--Loki?"

He turned and he was face to face with Odin, pure shock and a mixture of other expressions he'd never seen on the Allfather coloring his face. His mouth hung open, as if unable to find any words for what he was seeing.

"Hello, Father," Loki began, not entirely sure of what he could say after all the time that had passed. Before he could try and find any words, however, the Allfather's next action stunned him to complete silence.

He bent the knee, bowing his head to the ground.

"Come now, Father, this truly is unnecessary, there were times I've been gone for much longer," he attempted to joke, the tone coming out unnaturally, seeing as it had been eons since he'd actually spoken to anyone other than the Watcher.

Of course a tiny part of him relished in this moment, however. The Allfather bowed to no one. At least he thought…

"Y/N has kept us apprised of what you'd done, my son," he spoke, rising to his feet. "Of what you'd sacrificed to not only save the Nine Realms, but beyond our time, beyond our universe. She has worked tirelessly to ensure that all realms within her reach know the tale of your heroism. That they know you for who you truly are."

Odin motioned for him to look upon the parchments on your desk, illustrations depicting what you'd called "The Heart of Yggdrasil" on a handful of them.

"Children on Asgard and Midgard, and all realms in between, ask her what you are the god of now," Odin began to explain. "She tells them all that you are more than a god now. That you are the best of us. For those who cannot grasp such a large concept she named you the Keeper of Time. For the rest she named you the Savior of the Multiverse."

Loki found it near impossible to breathe trying to process the information, trying to understand that all this time the parchments that you'd been working on had been to tell one specific story. His story.

"She makes me seem some sort of hero," he said in awe.

"From the tales she has told, it is very much deserved." The Allfather clapped a hand on his shoulder, giving a squeeze as if making sure that he was truly there. "I'm proud of you, my son. We should have a ceremony to celebrate your return, and to anoint you your new titles. You have been greatly missed, by your family, by the people, but by no one more than Y/N."

There were no words he could muster to respond adequately other than, "Where is she? Where can I find my wife?"

Odin righted his stance, motioning toward the door. "I suggest trying the training fields. Thor does his best to keep her occupied so her mind won't wander too far. I suspect he will make more of an effort today considering--"

"Today marks a decade since our wedding," Loki finished, his heart constricting at the thought of you struggling to not even think of today, to keep yourself distracted until the last possible moment that you would have to be alone in your chambers, once again sobbing like he had seen you this morning. He began to step toward the corridor. "Thank you, Father."

Do not worry, my darling Y/N. You need not shed any more tears over our separation. Once I find you and have you in my embrace I will never let you go again.

When he made his way to the training gardens he was once again met with a pang of disappointment to find nobody there. Your sparring session with Thor must have reached its conclusion.

Still he attempted to call out to you. "Y/N? Little Princess?"

Again you did not answer, but Loki was met with another familiar voice. "Brother?"

He turned toward the direction of the voice, greeting Thor with a tentative smile, once again trying his hand at his former playful, mischievous tone. "Hello, Brother. Did you miss me?"

Once the blond god had made his way over he only responded by clapping both hands on his shoulders. "Y/N told us of your fate. How is this possible?"

"When last I saw her she stubbornly told me that there had to be another way," he explained, words getting caught in the lump in his throat. "I should have listened to my wife."

"She has been completely beside herself today," Thor offered, looking away the second his eyes began to fill with tears. He cleared his throat before speaking again. "It is agonizing seeing her like this, especially after she'd been doing so well the last few years. But today…today has taken its toll on her. More than she would ever admit, at least to me." He gave his brother's shoulders a light squeeze, not too dissimilar from how their father did a few moments ago. "Your return is the best possible gift you can give her today. Welcome back, Brother."

"Where can I find her?" Loki's tone had grown a touch desperate, his desire to find you and finally hold you again physically making his muscles ache. "Father told me to look here…"

"The armory," his brother finally answered. "She told me she would be there checking on the quality of the wooden swords for the young soldiers in training and that she wishes to be left alone, but I think she would be more than happy to make an exception for you."

He broke into a run, haphazardly thanking his brother before letting his feet carry him to the armory as fast as they could manage. The sound of your voice softly singing a familiar tune that brought him back to the days leading up to the festival for the Autumnal Equinox mere months before you two had become betrothed.

How shamefully oblivious he was back then to the fact that you'd been singing this while thinking of him. So consumed in his own efforts to hide away his affection for fear that you would find him so abominable that he had been unable to see that you had been doing exactly the same.

When he finally looked through the open door of the armory, it was as if he'd forgotten how to breathe, seeing how the light from the window hit your features just so that you seemed an angel. A forlorn angel with puffy eyes and a crease between your brows as you willed yourself to keep focused on the task at hand.

My darling wife.

"No weapons for you today, dear Daughter," your father declared before plucking away your dagger from your hand and placing it down on a nearby bench. "Your mind is far too pre-occupied I cannot in good conscience allow you to spar with anything that could harm either of us."

Instead of sparring as you normally did, him with varying weapons while you stayed your course with your daggers, he tested your defenses. You knew quite well why he'd chosen to spar like this today. It was to keep your mind reactive, your reflexes sharp, and dissuade your mind from thinking of much else in the process.

But ultimately after a few rounds of him too easily breaking through your defenses of crossed arms weakly attempting to push back, he stopped. "Daughter, are you sure you wish to train today? I truly would understand if you wish to--"

"To what, Father?" you interjected, a slight sneer pulling at your upper lip. "To stay in the kitchens and gorge myself with every little cake and pastry I lay my sights on? To see how many pitchers of wine I could consume before I stumble into my chambers and fall asleep?"

"Y/N I simply meant--"

"Look, Father, I'm already sad. On any given day. There is nothing to gain in changing my routine today in a way that would make me any sadder. Today is simply another day, much like the day before and the day after." Your voice choked on your own words, as if your white lies were so potent your own body was recoiling against it. "I will be alright."

Those words tasted the most bitter on your tongue. No, you wouldn't be alright. You hadn't been alright for quite some time.

The sound of Halley's steps bounding toward where you and your father were standing did not alleviate your souring mood any. "Princess! Princess ohh have you heard--"

"Shall I take a guess, my friend?" She excitedly nodded her head telling you to continue. "Fandral and Narda have returned from their betrothal ceremonies across the Realms and they've revealed that they eloped. Probably in Vanaheim. Or even Alfheim."

Her smile dropped, concern coloring her features. "Y/N do you truly not know who has returned to us?"

You shook your head stubbornly. "Halley, much as I am elated for our friend I cannot bring myself to smile and put today out of my mind. Please, do go and send my congratulations to both of them when you see them later in the day but…I'm afraid that I will simply be poor company to keep today."

The words were near impossible to utter through the lump in your throat, a slight hiccup escaping you and making you step away from both of them.

"Princess, if you would please--"

"I will be in the armory," you spoke dismissively. "Ensuring that the wooden swords are still safe to be used. I would appreciate it if I were to be left alone for the remainder of the day."

Thor knew there were no words that could bring you comfort this day in particular, so all he could do was respect your wishes. "I shall have the staff bring your dinner to the armory then."

You gave both him and Halley a single nod before you strode down the corridors toward the armory, sloppily wiping at the fat tears rolling down your cheeks with the sleeve of your dress. Normally you were able to put up a brave enough front so that your friends and family would not have to be so concerned for your well-being, but today…today was nearly impossible to maintain that facade.

Too many thoughts plagued you today of how your hours could have been spent celebrating with your husband; you felt as if the sun was cruel to pull you from those blissful dreams where Loki was by your side and you got to celebrate a decade together like you were meant to. The dreams had felt so real, much like the first times you'd dreamt of your beloved when salacious images overtook your subconscious. So real that when you were ripped from them you couldn't hold back the tears that wracked your body.

And things were only made worse when you felt the breeze in your chambers. The windows were closed, and as were the doors. There should be no wind coming in to your bed chambers, and by that logic you knew exactly what had caused the anomaly.

And guilt overcame you knowing that you'd given your husband enough cause for concern crying in bed the way you were so early in the day that he reached out. The gentle caresses of the breeze that should not be possible ruffling your hair as if trying to tuck it behind your ear the way he used to.

He had enough on his mind keeping watch of all the timelines, he should not be burdened further by witnessing your grieving.

You hadn't felt him at all since that exchange, and for the most part you were grateful for it. The memory of his words the last time you saw each other worsened your guilt. I can't hold you. I couldn't watch you break like this and do nothing.

Perhaps it was better that he look away.

You made your way to the rack that held the wooden swords, lightly running a finger across the dulled blades and immediately finding a dented spot that formed a sharp corner. "That won't do…" you muttered, pulling up a stool and grabbing some sanding paper from a nearby drawer to start filing away and dull the weapon once more.

Absentmindedly you'd begun to start humming an old tune you once sang in the music room, back then trying to express your frustration over finding yourself falling in love with Loki.

I'd let you ruin the rest of my life

How was it that somehow the words rang truer now that you were his wife compared to back then when you were still in the midst of falling?

The sound of another humming along to the tune had you sitting up with your back ramrod straight and alert. "I said I wished to be alone why is everyone so insistent on--" You turned around to berate the unwelcome visitor, only for your words to die off in a rather unbecoming sound in the back of your throat as you saw the figure at the door.

"Hello, little Princess."

"Oh Norns, this is it," you muttered to yourself. "I've finally lost my grip on reality. Hallucinating my husband in the middle of the day and I haven't even had a single sip of wine." You promptly put away the wooden sword and disposed of the sanding paper. "Perhaps I'd inhaled too much of the wood dust and now it's having a bizarre effect on me--"

Your words were cut short feeling a hand curve around your waist, a body walking up behind you and pressing against your back. "I promise you, my love, this is no hallucination…" The air around you became near impossible to breathe as his arm wrapped around your waist, working his free hand up to put your hair over your shoulder and expose the back of your neck.

"Why does this feel so real?" you questioned breathily when your illusion had pressed his lips to the back of your neck, kissing a path to your ear, your voice thinning to the point you could barely utter the words. "Is this Valhalla?"

"No, my darling," he mumbled against your hear, his exhale warming your skin. He turned you around in his arms, placing your hands over his shoulders. "I truly am here. With you."

Tears began to blur your eyes as you tentatively touched your hand to his hair, the air leaving your lungs once he turned his head to kiss a trail from your palm to the inside of your wrist, his eyes never leaving yours.

You shook your head at him, refusing to accept what was right in front of you. "Loki I said no more illusions, don't do this to me," you pleaded, already starting to step back from him.

He had his arms around you, pulling you back into his embrace the second you moved even a fraction of an inch away from him. "This is no illusion, little Princess, I swear to you." He brought your hands back up to his lips, pressing a kiss to each knuckle. "I'm here. I'm not going anywhere. Not without you."

Before you could utter a word in question, he grabbed the back of your neck and captured your lips in a desperate kiss, his other arm wrapping around you to lift you off the ground and set you down on the now empty wooden desk. You whimpered against him when his hands began to roam your body, grasping frantically at whatever was within his reach to press you harder against him.

You felt the sting of hot tears behind your eyes as you held on to him just as tight, feeling the skin straining and stretching over your knuckles with how hard you grasped at his back. If this was real, you would not allow him to slip from your fingers so easily.

Not like last time.

This time when you pulled away he was still there. You both were. "How is this possible?" you breathed out, your stubborn mind finally beginning to relent and accept that perhaps he truly was here, that this was no illusion cast by your husband to calm you some on what should be such an auspicious day for both of you. You rested your head on his shoulder, tears once again starting to fall down your cheeks. "How are you here?"

"I was wrong, little Princess. There was another way. It took a good deal of time for the solution to be plausible, but I finally found another way."

Neither of you moved from your spot, him stroking your hair and pressing a kiss to the top of your head whenever you sniffled, as he told you about how he'd seen you in your state just this morning and how the branch slipped from his hold. About the other being on that plane of existence called The Watcher leading him to the discovery that a strong enough foundation had finally been built. That now it would only need the occasional visit from him to ensure that its foundation was continually strengthened.

And finally about how the first thing he thought of once he was fully freed from the branches of the timelines was coming home and finding you.

You sat quiet for a good few moments, allowing his words to sink in before you spoke again. "Does this mean…you're staying?" you managed to choke out before a fresh wave of tears begun to fall from your eyes.

"Yes, my love," he whispered into your hair, pressing a tender kiss to the same spot before tilting your head to look up at him, wiping your tears away. "I'm home."

He pressed his lips to yours once more, smiling against your lips when you threw your arms around his neck. He tightened his hold on you, breathing out a slight chuckle when you yelped at the feeling of the table disappearing from under you. When you opened your eyes, you were suddenly in your bed chambers, your husband carrying you across the room in his arms.

"That's…new…" you mumbled against his lips when he kissed you again.

"Eons have passed for me since last we saw each other in our chambers, my darling wife," he whispered into your skin, placing a soft lingering kiss below your ear before laying you down on the bed, your back settling into the soft mattress. "And yet through all that time my body, my heart, only ever craved to have you with me again."

Your heart felt as if it could burst at any moment. After all the time that had passed, it felt completely foreign to you, finally feeling as if you were no longer simply dragging yourself through life. There was no longer a void in your life in the shape of your beloved.

The visions of what your new future could hold now that he had returned overwhelmed you, rendering you unable to do much of anything other than pull him down to you so you could kiss him again, sighing into his mouth when he pressed his weight onto the bed and proceeded to deepen your kiss.

"In that time, little Princess, let's just say my abilities have…evolved. And in mastering them all, I've often thought about how I might use those abilities in this very room. Once we'd reunited and your memories have all been freed."

A small gasp escaped you as you watched a wave of his magic washed over the entirety of your chambers, a slight barrier appearing by the windows and doors before visibly fading into nothing. "Silencing enchantment?" you queried, unable to help the smile that stretched across your face.

"We'll need it, my love." With a small twitch of his fingers, both his robes and your dress dissolved into nothing, baring your bodies to each other. "Oh how I've missed this," he rasped, a thrill shooting through you as you watched him rake his eyes across your body before licking his lips. "How I've missed you."

"Husband," you whined, squirming under his gaze, the undeniable affection and desire shining in his eyes stealing all the breath from your lungs. "I've missed you."

Loki leaned down to hover over you, lips tracing along the bridge of your nose before proceeding to press featherlight kisses all over your face, letting out a shuddering groan when skin met skin, your chests pressed together as you trailed your fingertips down the length of his arm. Once you reached his hand, lacing your fingers between his, tears began to well in your eyes again as the gold band around his ring caught the light.

"You got the ring," you said in wonder, your breath coming out like a bewildered chuckle as he brought your hand up to his mouth to kiss along the backs of your fingers.

"Of course I did. For so long it was the only thing that brought me a sense of comfort, every time I looked upon it, it was almost as if I could feel you with me." He released your hand, leaning back down to capture your lips in a slow, languorous kiss. "And now I finally do."

You moaned against his lips as his hand wrapped around your knee, hooking your leg around him as he proceeded to roll his hips into yours.

"I know we should probably announce my return," he said in a teasing tone. "But I haven't even the slightest urge at the moment to do anything other than…reunite with my darling wife." He smirked against your lips as you whimpered desperately at the feel of him lining himself up at your entrance. "The only thing I plan on keeping for the foreseeable future is the love of my life, on our marital bed. Any and all forms of clothing forbidden."

"I have no objections to that," you said back breathlessly. "Happy anniversary, husband."

"Happy anniversary, my love."

One day, centuries after your reunion, Loki helped you into a set of robes that seemed more suitable for lounging than anything else before conjuring up a portal that led back to the tree. He would have to be there for a while, tending to the branching timelines and ensuring that they would all stand on their own for a good long while after he would once again leave them to grow and flourish on their own.

"I want you to come with me, darling. We could make an adventure of it."

He didn't need to ask twice. You would go to the ends of the world with him.

He held your hand firmly in his as he led you through the portal toward the solitary throne he once occupied, giving you a soft smile as you discovered the changes he made to the space before he went home to you all those years ago.

There were now two thrones at the heart of the tree.

A/N: I had to make it better I couldn't just leave my precious blorbos in pain even if this is an alternate universe 🥺🥺 And I just had to add that little bit of Odin bending the knee as a treat 🫡

Here's the song that gave me most of the vibe for this story:

And here's the song that Y/N was singing in the armory:

'everything' taglist: @simplyholl @loopsisloops @imalovernotahater @coldnique @loz-3 @huntress-artemiss @salempoe @vickie5446 @athalialaufeyson @lokiprompts @kats72 @kikster606 @asgards-princess-of-mischief @lokixryss @thomase1 @mischief2sarawr @peaches1958 @lovingchoices14 @lunarnights95 @goblingirlsarah @iamlokisgloriouspurpose @creationsbyme @maple-seed @mjsthrillernp @ladyofthestayingpower @mygfloki @sititran @glitterylokislut @ozymdias @fictive-sl0th @lokidbadguy @mochie85 @silverfire475 @joyful-enchantress @elizabethmidnight2017 @holdmytesseract @smolvenger @gigglingtiggerv2 @lokidokieokie @superficialdomina @anukulee @kmc1989 @november-rayne @goddessofwonderland @buttercupcookies-blog

#loki x reader #loki x female reader #loki fanfiction #loki fanfic #loki laufeyson fanfic #marvel fanfiction #marvel fanfic #mcu fanfic #loki angst #loki laufeyson angst #muddyorbs writes #Spotify

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bizlybebo · 16 days

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MEGA spoilers for all of pd s1 and s2

like i know everybody says that william better still have dakota’s heart even after the events of ep39 but honestly. i think the interpretation of that heart being buried with the rest of his body during the funeral is much more narratively satisfying and offers so much more closure.

yes, dakota was proud to some degree to have his powers, but also, every tick of that mechanical heart was just a reminder of his biggest regret. all he ever wanted was to save people and so, by giving up that heart, he was finally able to save a close friend from dying. that heart was a story that wrote itself, being born from regret, having its moment of triumph when it literally did save a life, and ending with regret as dakota watched william get torn apart, still unable to save him when it mattered most. william had to save himself by accepting what/who he was during that.

and so i think burying that heart was dakota’s way of getting closure, too. william buried his own body and dakota buried his own heart. they both finally finished that chapter of their lives together. does this make sense

#vixen rambles #i could be entirely misinterpreting it but.#jrwi pd #dakota cole #william wisp #prime defenders spoilers #jrwi pd spoilers #pd spoilers #jrwi prime defenders

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dorarakei · 9 months

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i will be home (nanami x reader)

cw: major shibuya arc / jjk s2 spoilers. fluff-angst. at some point reader becomes depressed and delusional. implied death. my first time writing, i hope you can enjoy it^^

pairing: nanami kento x reader

i recommend to listen to this playlist while reading:

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whenever nanami has to go for a mission, especially the long ones, he never forgets to leave his watch- the classic tag heuer carrera -on your vanity.

at first, he didn’t really understand why you insisted for him to do so. as the matter of fact, he found it rather.. peculiar, that you want to have a hold on his watch whenever he has a mission.

he just knows that it’s something that you really want him to do, and since you want it so much, nanami believes that there must’ve been a strong reason on why you want him to do it, even though you didn’t tell him why.

besides, the little gesture seemed to help you a lot with your uneasiness when he’s needed whether at the school or at any other places to exorcise curses which… overtime, have grown even more frequent and dangerous.

as long as it makes you happy, nanami is more than willing to do it.

◇─◇─────◇──◇─◇◇─◇──◇─────◇──◇

it was already so late (it’s 3 AM something, actually) when nanami finally came home after an arduous mission that lasted for some days… honestly, at this point, he has lost track of the time he spent for the mission. four days? …a week?

he quietly discards his tie and cream suit which had specks of curses' blood.. some of it, undoubtedly, also came from his injuries.

soon nanami found himself tiptoe-ing to the bedroom which he shares with you. for some reason, he’s feeling this… some sort of anticipation.

a funny, fuzzy feeling, if one may say. to finally be back to his home… a home he shares with his beloved. to finally be able to completely rest in his bedroom.. which he shares, too, with his beloved. to finally be able to hold you close, to nuzzle into your neck, to smell the familiar scent of yours (which is completely preferable rather than smelling the foul stench of curses), to rake his fingers on the strands of your hair… and just… just to feel you, warm and breathing.

nanami opens the door slowly, afraid of causing a creek or any other unwanted sounds that will disturb his beloved from her peaceful sleep. he takes a peek before entering the room… and there you are, all bundled in this little cocoon of your blanket. just with the sight of his beloved, being safe and sound, is enough for nanami to relax his tense shoulders and let out a soft sigh of contentment.

after a moment, nanami makes his way again to be near you. not only did he see you, with your mouth slightly agape letting out some soft snores. but he saw it, too. his watch, glistening under the lamp light. no longer placed on her vanity… but now, on the nightstand right next to you. some soft tick tick ticks can be heard filling in the silence of the room.

nanami might think that he’s being sneaky enough to not wake you up. well, he is. but after some years of you waiting for him to come home from his missions until you fell asleep which causes nanami to either wake you up delicately or to carry you back to the bed, you have developed some sort of… otherworldly sense which allows you to feel if he is getting close to you in your sleep.

and so you slowly stirs from your slumber. you know it's nanami- it's absolutely him. you knew it already just by listening to the soft shuffles of his feet on the wood floor, or even from the familiar smell of him.. which got mixed with that particular metallic smell of blood.

seeing you waking up at such a late hour because of him, nanami can’t help but to feel slightly guilty. he quickly cradles you and shushes you quietly- a series of i’m sorry i didn’t tell you i will be so late and i’m fine, sweetheart, don’t worry along with some i love yous coming from him- his lips didn’t stop showering your face with soft kisses.

you give him a tight, desperate embrace in return, as you snuggle yourself to his chest. you feel your eyes start to tear up and nanami’s constant reassurances are making those crystal beads fall down.. your breath becomes somewhat erratic, all you do now is to cling onto him. you desperately grab some parts of his body just to feel that it is him- he’s here, sitting on the bed, cradling you. he’s alive- you can feel his heartbeat you were so worried so sure that something had maybe gone wrong with him-

and yet his reassurances, too, are the ones who give your racing mind some comfort and a sense of security- nanami might be gone for a while with no news whatsoever but you know he will always come back to your arms alive and well, that’s for sure. right now is the proof of it, isn’t it?

slowly, but surely, your breathing started to calm down, though your tears are still dampening his shirt. you can feel his breath and heartbeat getting slower, too… as you feel nanami's warm hands stroking your head and your back, his lips giving you never-ending kisses on your face. you both stayed in the embrace… accompanied by the sound of soft tick tick ticks from nanami’s watch, still sitting on the nightstand.

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weeks has passed since nanami stepped out of your home for something that he calls an urgent mission. you remember the day of his departure very well: nanami looks unusually.. troubled.

well, he usually does become restless when there's something in his mind, especially when it's related to curses. but on that day, 31st august, you remember, his demeanor feels... just different than usual.

even when nanami isn't looking and texting on his phone- which you're sure that's how he coordinates things with his colleagues for the newest mission that you had know idea what it is about- the furrows on his eyebrows and tension on his face remains visible throughout the day. you can't help but to ask him about it.

as usual, nanami just brushed it aside, telling you gently to not worry about it. but you know better than that- along with his knitted eyebrows you realized that even his gaze looks different. there's a tinge of… nervousness? … or even fear? you don't dare to question it…

… and so you didn’t. you know how nanami tends to be reluctant to share details of his daily missions to you. that's okay, you tell yourself. it's just one of his ways of protecting you, to care for you, to love you.

just before nanami stepped out of the door to do his mission, after he embraced you and kissed your lips for (hopefully not) the last time as a goodbye, you returned his affection by kissing his forehead.. right between his eyebrows, hoping to ease him even just a little.

it worked, just as what you hoped. his furrows slightly easens after your soft lips gave it a peck.. and for a second, his eyes widens a bit before turning back to his usual loving, adoring one staring right into yours.

after a moment, he takes off his watch- just like he usually does before his other missions - places it on your palm, and interlocks his fingers with yours.

"i will be home." nanami whispers it quietly, as if it's meant to be only heard by the both of you. you look intently at him, taking in every detail of his face- all the contours, the wrinkles, the corner of his thin lips, everything…

you nod to him, being pliant as ever when it comes to his missions.. but you know that deep down you don’t want him to go. you never want him to.

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you lost track of the time again. you don’t know how long you have been sleeping; but you know it’s long enough that you got a headache upon waking up…

you rub your eyes- trying to wake yourself up- your throat has been so dry, a glass of water would very much be appreciated… ah, is that tears… on your lashes? now that you think of it, your cheeks have been feeling rather sticky and damp… you can certainly feel your face has, for no reason, puffed up too.

wait.. have you been crying again?

well, why wouldn’t you? a few days ago, several people came to your home, claiming that nanami met his end during his mission. a heroic death, one of them said. nanami holds his principles high even until his very last breath- he’s so badly injured yet he didn’t waver, he knows he has to protect the students and everybody else, even though his body was literally-

no. no. you don’t even want to remember what has happened to him… what they have said to you is truly grotesque and insensitive, you think. you refuse to believe in it- even had a hunch that it wasn’t true. he probably just accidentally separated from the group due to how chaotic the mission is and hasn’t been able to contact them. that must’ve been it… yes, yes, he’s still alive- they just can’t find him yet.

you let out a long sigh… all of this thinking made your headache feel even worse… forget about getting a glass of water. it’d be easier for you to just sleep your dry throat away… soon, you won’t even remember that you have such discomfort in the first place.

the soft tick tick ticks of nanami’s watch has been your only companion during these weeks of his absence. it has become your daily reminder of the day when he came back after days of no contact nor any news… his promises and reassurances, too. all of it becomes the only strength of you when you start to grow anxious about him.

…you know he’s always there with you, and you know well that he will always come back to you.

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