#these tags have been long as fuck but this memory plagues me at night

[prehistorictriforce]

sometimes i’m like “yeah i’m super chill around celebrities, i don’t really clam up or anything, i’m super normal” and then i remember when i “met” frank iero and im like hmmmm maybe i’m wrong.

#it was a few years ago but like. a friend and i got to a venue i think… like a little over 12 hours early for the show??? #so we were obviously there before the band. but when frank got there it was still only like. my friend and a couple other ppl #(we became good friends w the group we waited with btw!!! we all have a gc on insta and stuff they’re rad!!!!) #(we’re trying to get together to see mcr together!!) #but frank like. comes by and starts asking us how we’re doing and is like hey do y’all need anything and whatever #we said we were fine bc evan had gotten us water n shit #and i was standing next to frank and we were all talking and he was like idk we were looking for food where should we go #and we’re in a totally different state from where i’m from so i’m like??? i don’t fuckin know???? #but this was frank fucking iero i wasn’t gonna admit i didn’t know smthn so i’m like I THINK THERES A GELATO PLACE AROUND HERE #so i just sit there like a god damn buffoon nodding and going yeah yeah yeah absolutely sure yeah!!! to every suggestion #and he kinda looks at me as if i’m gonna say smthn and i just smile all ridiculous and shrug and go ‘sounds good to me’ #there was much more to the conversation but the general gist was everyone else being normal and me being doe eyed dumbass #he was very nice abt it all bless him he was super busy but he came out to check on us a couple more times before it got busy #he was always smiley and happy and giggly abt it and i miss him 💔💔 frank i’m so sorry i was useless i swear i can be better #at least i went HARD during the show. we were all right in front since we were literally first in line lol #anyways. still absolutely one of if not my ultimate fave concert i’ve ever been to #these tags have been long as fuck but this memory plagues me at night

[slytherinslut0]

MATTHEO RIDDLE- Beg For Me

Chapter Twelve-Info: You and Mattheo have been butting heads for months, since you were assigned as his tutor, and one day during a session full of tense bickering, he has enough.

(This will essentially be a toxic book where we are Theos fucktoy. No love here, very minimal fluff.)

Tags: 18+, Sub!Reader, Dom!Mattheo, Dirty Talk, Toxic Behaviour, Jealousy, Possessive Behaviours, Manipulation, Sexual Aggression, Angst, Emotional Manipulation, (slight) Knife!Play, Teasing, Alcoholism, DubCon, CNC, TomRiddle.

****FIND THE REST OF THE CHAPTERS HERE.

Under the veil of night, Saturday descended, and despite the persistent sickness that weighed you down, you refused to succumb to the confines of your bed for even a second longer. The piercing ache in your head and the relentless runny nose served as mere whispers against your willpower. Ignoring the protests of your body, you ventured out, guided by a flickering determination.

The castle, shrouded in darkness, seemed to echo with your footsteps as you moved. A hushed, mysterious atmosphere enveloped you as you made your way through the dimly lit corridors. Your steps were purposeful, leading you to the heart of intellectual refuge: the library.

As you entered, the soft glow of the lamplights revealed a haven of knowledge, where ancient tomes and modern texts stood shoulder to shoulder, waiting to divulge their wisdom. The familiar scent of aged parchment and ink filled the air, soothing your senses.

Amidst the quietude, you found a secluded alcove, a sanctuary within a sanctuary. The soft light bathed you as you settled into the embrace of an overstuffed armchair, its fabric worn by countless readers before you. The weight of the books in your hands felt both grounding and exhilarating, as if the knowledge contained within could lift you from the heaviness of your illness.

The hours slipped away, the silence broken only by the occasional shuffle of pages and the distant ticking of an ancient clock. Lost in the world of words, you found solace, momentarily escaping not only the physical discomfort but also the emotional turmoil that had plagued you since your clandestine encounters with Mattheo.

Gods, why the fuck were you always thinking about him? Regardless of what you did, that man was in your head--there was no escaping his ghost. Every thought of him wrapped around your mind like a suffocating vine, an inescapable plague that refused to release its hold. His touch, a lingering memory etched into your skin, haunted your senses--the way his hands roamed your body, the warmth of his breath against your neck.

His eyes, a deep, intoxicating brown, transformed in the sunlight, creating ripples of amber like liquid chocolate. The memory of his lips, plush and knowing, ignited a storm of conflicting emotions within you, a potent blend of desire and resentment. Your stomach churned with a strange concoction of yearning and frustration, especially when you recalled the sensation of his messy, curly hair brushing against the sensitive skin between your thighs.

Damn him, you thought--the intensity of your emotions amplifying with each passing moment. You loathed him with a passion that had become entangled with an inexplicable longing. The line between hatred and desire blurred, leaving you entwined in a web of conflicting emotions, unable to escape his ghostly presence in your thoughts. You knew you hated him, you just couldn't really remember the reason why anymore.

Deciding to finally call it a night, you pushed up from the chair, moving back into the shadows of the library as you meticulously returned the book back to its designated shelf, the profound words of the author echoing in your mind. Just as you were about to spin around, a sudden shift in the library's atmosphere sent a shiver down your spine, and an all-too-familiar presence seemed to materialize behind you.

The scent of whiskey filled the air, its subtle aroma enveloping your surroundings, and before you could react, a pair of unsteady arms wrapped around your waist, pulling you back into an unexpected embrace. The touch was rough, not a huge departure from the usual Mattheo, but enough to be entirely noticeable--and his warm breath brushed against your ear as he spoke, his words slightly slurred but not entirely incoherent.

"Raven," he purred, his voice sending a shiver down your spine. "What a delightful surprise to find you here at this hour...how utterly unexpected."

You inhaled sharply, his hands snaking around your waist, pulling you back against him with surprising force. Instinctively, your fingers gripped the edge of the bookshelf in front of you, the polished wood cool against your skin. It felt like the air had been sucked out of the room, leaving you breathless and lightheaded, the overwhelming scent of Mattheo's cologne mingled with a hint of alcohol surrounding you.

Your voice trembled as you tried to keep it steady. "Mattheo...what the hell are you doing here..."

"Why so shocked, princess?" He breathed, his warm breath sending goosebumps cascading down your neck. His teeth grazed your earlobe, sending an electric jolt through your body. "Can't a man of my caliber simply grace this library with his presence whenever he pleases, without arousing suspicion?"

His voice dripped with a mix of confidence and mischief, his hands tightening their hold on you, making it clear that he had no intention of letting go anytime soon. A familiar knot tightened in your stomach, signaling the imminent loss of control. If you didn't gather your composure swiftly, you knew he would once again reduce you to powerlessness, just as he always did.

"Oh, pardon my ignorance..." you responded, your voice thick with sarcasm. "I just never thought I'd witness such a rare event...it's not every day we see a man of your 'caliber' roaming the library, never mind past midnight on a Saturday..."

Mattheo's deep, rumbling groan resonated in the narrow space between you, his hands abandoning your sides to pin you against the shelf. His lips, warm and demanding, brushed your ear with a possessive hunger.

"There's that mouth," he growled, his voice laced with raw need. "Fuck, I've missed that mouth...”

"Matt-" a soft, involuntary whimper escaped your throat, but your protest was abruptly stifled by an unfamiliar sensation. "What-"

Something cold, unyielding, and metal pressed against your skin, sending a chill down your spine. Panic clawed at your senses, urging you to gasp for air, but his palm closed around your throat, silencing you with a ruthless grip. Desperation flickered in your eyes as you tried to make sense of the situation, your gaze fixated on the glint of the blade he was dragging up your arm.

"Mattheo-" you managed to croak, fear and disbelief mingling in your voice. "Is that...a fucking knife?"

Mattheo's silence hung heavy in the air, his warm breath ghosting over your ear as he loomed over you, pinning you forcefully against the shelf. Your hands clung desperately to the wooden edges, the pressure turning your knuckles a pale, ghostly white. With deliberate intent, Mattheo tugged you back against his chest, only slightly, as he directed the switchblade toward your bust and pressed the sharp edge against the fabric of your shirt--the metal biting into the soft material as he cut a precise horizontal line just above your breasts.

"Fuck," the word was almost a guttural moan as it left his inebriated lips. "I've definitely missed those more..."

"Mattheo-" you stammered, your voice catching in your throat. There were a thousand questions swirling in your mind, but the words refused to escape. "What on earth...what's gotten into you? This...this is sick, even for you."

Mattheo's movements were swift, almost serpentine, as he seized your shoulders and spun you around. Before you could react, he pressed you back against the shelf, your hands instinctively finding his chest for support until he captured both your wrists with one hand and pinned them firmly above your head. Speechless and utterly bewildered, you were paralyzed, unsure of how to process the situation.

He smirked, the expression predatory, leaning in closer. With deliberate slowness, he placed the flat edge of the knife beneath your chin, tilting your head back to meet his eyes. The cold steel against your skin sent a chill down your spine, and in that moment, you felt an overwhelming sense of vulnerability, trapped in his intense gaze and the menacing glint of the blade.

"I thought you were the sick one, Raven..."  he purred, his eyes darkening with a mix of amusement and intensity as he observed your reactions, his grip on your wrists tightening. "Isn't that why you bailed on me last night, hm?"

Any semblance of control you had tried to maintain had now entirely crumbled, dissipating like smoke in the wind. Pinned against the shelf, your hands held captive above your head, and a cold blade pressed against your jaw, you felt a surge of exhilarating helplessness wash over you. You knew, at this moment, your sanity was hanging by the thinnest thread, and you questioned your choices more profoundly than you ever had in your entire life.

If you allowed him do this to you, what else will you allow? Anything?

Anything...

Speechless, you nodded in compliance, unable to form any coherent words. Mattheo's huff of satisfaction sent a shiver down your spine, and his sadistic tone remained as sharp as ever.

"Yeah?" he purred, a cruel glint in his eyes. "Poor thing...let me take a look, hm? Stick out your tongue."

Before you could fully comprehend the situation, your lips parted involuntarily, and Mattheo deftly slid the cool blade between them, tugging down your jaw with a chilling precision. An electric surge coursed through your entire body, every nerve ending tingling under the intensity of his gaze. His eyes darkened, and his lips parted, both of you suspended in the charged atmosphere.

He pulled the knife away, and as if in a trance, you slowly extended your tongue, the tension between you crackling like static in the air.

Mattheo's jaw tightened, his eyes locked onto your face with a relentless focus, not a blink daring to interrupt his scrutiny. With a steady hand, he pressed the blade against your tongue, his gaze piercing, as if he were a meticulous doctor inspecting a patient, peering down your throat with unsettling precision.

"Seems fine to me, Raven..." he murmured, a flicker of something unsettling dancing in his eyes, sending a twist of unease to your stomach. "But perhaps you're right...perhaps I am sick..."

With deliberate slowness, he lifted the metal off your tongue, tracing it along your jaw before withdrawing it entirely. The blade disappeared into his back pocket, his unwavering gaze never leaving yours, leaving you with a lingering sense of dread and confusion.

"I'm sick and the only cure for my illness are those sweet fucking lips of yours..." he confessed, his free hand caressing the side of your face, the other maintaining a firm grip on your wrists. He drew closer, his eyes fixated on your mouth. "And I'm not talking about these ones..."

Your breath caught in your throat, your heart thundering so fiercely it echoed through your entire body. Your thighs ached with a desperate longing.

"Although..." Mattheo leaned in further, his thumb brushing gently over your bottom lip. "They could certainly help..."

With an excruciating slowness that felt like torture, Mattheo leaned in, his lips tantalizingly close to yours. The lingering aroma of whiskey swirled around you, intoxicating your senses and making your head spin. Despite your attempts to resist, an involuntary whimper escaped your throat, the sound echoing your helplessness in the face of Mattheo's relentless seduction.

Your heart pounded in your chest, the rhythm almost deafening in your ears, as Mattheo's lips finally met yours. His hand slithered under your jaw, his touch both possessive and electrifying. His lips moved over yours with a devouring hunger, as though he aimed to consume not just your mouth but every ounce of your being, leaving you breathless and utterly ensnared in his kiss.

When he drew back, just enough to lock eyes with you, his gaze glinted with an intensity that sent shivers down your spine. Your entire body thrummed with anticipation, yearning for his touch.

He blinked. "You still want to call this off, Raven?"

"We really fucking should," you whispered, your voice barely audible amidst the charged atmosphere. Your heart raced, the tumultuous conflict within you mirrored in your eyes. "But...I..."

Your words trailed off, swallowed by the intensity of his gaze, his eyes resembling swirling depths that threatened to drown your resolve. A smug smirk played on his lips, his arrogance palpable as he anticipated your next words, relishing the moment. He leaned in closer, releasing his grip on your wrists and bracing his hand against the wood next to your head. You hesitated, caught in the mesmerizing pull of his gaze, a fleeting battle of wills that seemed impossible to win.

"You...?" he prodded, his tone dripping with confidence and challenge, as though he knew he had already won.

"But...I can't," you admitted, your voice a fragile whisper, barely audible against the backdrop of your thudding heart.

The words hung in the air, heavy with the weight of your desires and the weight of what you knew was right.His smirk deepened, his eyes narrowing with amusement.

"Can't, or won't?" he challenged, his tone teasing and infuriatingly confident.

His hand on the wood beside your head tightened slightly, a subtle reminder of his strength, his dominance. The proximity between you crackled with tension, the air thick with the unspoken, the moment hanging in the balance like a fragile thread stretched to its limit.

"What we're doing is sick, Mattheo..." you murmured, glimpsing his lips. "I...I never thought we'd be this close...I still smell you on my clothes..."

His eyes flickered with a mix of amusement and desire, his lips curving into a devilish smile. "Sick, perhaps," he admitted, his voice a low, seductive purr. "But you know it's pointless to try and fight it..."

Your eyes involuntarily dropped to his chest, tracing the outline of his shirt straining against his powerful shoulders. A shuddering breath escaped you as you felt the undeniable pull, the magnetic force that seemed to bind you to him. With a huff, he gently lifted your chin, forcing your gaze back to meet his intense eyes. The proximity was suffocating, electric, and he leaned in slightly closer, his warm breath mingling with yours, until your lips brushed in a tantalizing whisper.

"Every time you meet my eyes...we both know that you're mine..." he murmured against your mouth, hand falling from your chin and trailing down the front of your chest, slipping through the cut in your shirt he'd made just a few minutes earlier. "I think it's about time you admitted it, princess..."

You gasped at the skin on skin contact, goosebumps raising on your skin, and Mattheo hummed, lips trailing toward your jawline and softly nipping at it.

"Am I all that you think about, Raven?" He whispered, and you could tell that his question wasn't really a question, more of a rhetorical statement. "Did it get too loud, and that's why you tried to shut me out?"

You winced in wake of his words. You wouldn’t be surprised if this man could read your mind at this point.

"You're a constant thought," you whispered, your words hanging in the charged air between you. "It’s fucking overwhelming, Mattheo...I can't keep allowing myself to be consumed by this..."

"Just let go, Raven..." he murmured, his voice a velvet caress. "I've got you..."

Your mind buzzed with irritation, his seductive tones grating against your patience. The audacity to believe he could ever truly possess you sparked a simmering anger within. He didn't have you, he couldn't, and his delusions only served to fray your nerves to the brink.

"No, you don't...you can't..." your voice trembled, a fragile protest as his breath caressed your ear, your fingers clinging to the fabric of his shirt. "Stop manipulating me with your pretty fucking words, Mattheo...you're only making everything more difficult for both of us."

Mattheo's demeanor shifted, tension hardening his features. His hand found your jaw, gripping it tightly as he pulled back, locking eyes with you.

"Do you want me to stop, Raven?" he said, his voice uncharacteristically serious. "Tell me to stop right fucking now, and I'll walk away, won't bother you until Wednesday's session." He drew you closer, his jaw clenched. "Just one fucking word, princess...that's all you need to say."

Your silence hung in the charged air, a battleground where your desires and your convictions clashed. Every fiber of your being screamed for his touch, the magnetic pull between you undeniable, yet your mind raged against the chaos, yearning for simplicity and an end to the torment.

Mattheo's eyes searched yours, a storm of emotions swirling in their depths. He held your gaze, his grip on your jaw tightening imperceptibly. The unspoken tension hung heavy, the weight of your unspoken words suffocating in the charged space between you. The choice, the power to end this dangerous dance, rested on the tip of your tongue, yet you found yourself unable to utter the one word that could bring it all crashing down.

"And that's what I fucking thought..." he husked, the words flowing from his lips with a dangerous poison, one that you wanted, more than anything, to get a taste of. "Don't pretend like you're some meek, innocent little girl when I see that vicious mind working behind your eyes, Raven...you've never been afraid to use that mouth before..."

"You're right," you whispered, your voice barely audible. "I'm not meek, and certainly no longer innocent...I left my fucking innocence on your stupid lips..."

"And my hands...my cock..." he purred, his voice low and husky, Mattheo's lips curled into a wicked grin, his eyes ablaze with desire and triumph. "...let's not forget my tongue..."

That tongue--infuriatingly adept and unforgettable. How could such a maddeningly skilled tongue ever escape your memory? Curse him, you thought, curse him to the depths of hell.

"All I have left is my virginity, Mattheo..." you said, fingers tightening their hold on his shirt, tremors rumbling through your limbs. "If I give you that, too...I'm scared of-"

"I don't want it, Raven..." he cut you off, leaning closer, his voice holding a rare gentleness, the smallest flicker of humanity under his suffocating power and arrogance. "Don't feel like you need to give it to me."

Your pulse leapt, throat constricting. "Then what do you want?" You struggled to keep your gaze on his eyes, resisting the pull of his delicious lips. "What do you fucking want from me?"

"I want you to need me like I need you." The answer was quick, almost involuntary, as though he needed absolutely no time to think about it.

Your brows pinched, your lungs hitching, oxygen fleeing you. "Like you need-"

"Wet, breathless, and moaning my name..." he murmured, his lips tracing a path along your jawline, leaving a trail of fire in their wake. His free hand mapped your curves, finding solace on your hip. "That's how I need you."

Your eyelids fluttered uncontrollably as his wet lips trailed down to your neck, assaulting the sensitive skin. His tousled curls brushed against your cheek, setting your flesh ablaze, an uncontrollable fire sparked by his touch. Gods, he was fucking infuriating, in the best way possible. This man possessed a way with words that felt unparalleled, a skill that left you defenseless against his magnetic pull.

His hand started to inch lower, tracing a path down your thigh, and a surge of panic shot through you.

"Not here, Matty..." you pleaded, your voice barely above a whisper, urgency coloring your words.

"Who's around, princess?" he murmured against your skin, his lips ghosting over your neck, finding the hem of your skirt. "Just be quiet for me, pretty girl..."

Your lungs sputtered, nails digging into his skin, his hand slowly trailing upwards on your inner thigh.

"Please, Mattheo...someone could-" you whispered urgently, your words catching in your throat as desire and fear collided within you.

"Walk me back to my dorm," he said sharply, a plan forming in his eyes. "I'll pretend I'm plastered, and you can sling me over your shoulder. If anyone sees, it'll just look like you're doing me a favour..."

Your jaw fell open in incredulity, but before you could utter a protest, Mattheo took charge. He let go of your waist, pulling you off the shelf with a swift motion. His arm encircled you, feigning a drunken stumble, as he leaned heavily against you, weaving a convincing facade of inebriation.

You took a second to button up your cardigan, hiding the cut in your blouse that Mattheo had made with his blade--and without waiting even a second more of time, he urged the two of you down the isle and into the heart of the library. Fear gripped you like a vice as you made your way through the silent library, Mattheo pretending to be completely intoxicated, his weight bearing down on you with every step.

Every creak of the floorboards felt deafening in the silence, and your heart raced with the dread of being caught in this reckless charade. With each step, you prayed that you would go unnoticed, your mind wrestling with the gravity of the situation and the potential consequences of your impulsive actions.

As you tiptoed out of the library and stepped into the silent corridor, the nighttime air flowed through the stone walls, cooling the fevered heat in your cheeks. The tension in your shoulders lessened, but the fire in your core raged on, fueled by Mattheo's intense proximity. His cologne, intertwined with the scent of alcohol and cigarettes on his tongue, seemed to possess a hypnotic allure, drawing you in with an inexplicable pull.

You shot your head around, ensuring no one was within earshot, before stealing a furtive glimpse at Mattheo. Your voice emerged as a mere breath, carried away by the night breeze as it left your lips.

"How did you know I'd be there?" You questioned. "In the library."

Persisting in his flawless portrayal of the world's most inebriated wizard, Mattheo barely cracked his eyes open at your question, his response delayed as though he were lost in his own haze. For a moment, it seemed like he might not answer at all, leaving you hanging on the edge of anticipation. Then, a sly smile tugged at his lips, and your stomach twisted with a mix of curiosity and unease.

"I asked your friend," he drawled, glimpsing you with the worlds most fleeting glance. "Emily."

Your heart stopped. "No you-"

You began, but your words were abruptly cut short as the sharp click of polished shoes echoed through the corridor. Your gaze shot to the source of the sound, and there, with an unsettling glint in his eyes, stood Tom Riddle himself, adorned in his pristine prefect attire. His darkened narrowed eyes bored into you, suspicion and sadistic amusement flickering in their depths.

"Evening my dear witch…Mattheo," he purred, his voice dripping with sinister charm as he advanced, each step deliberate, like a predator stalking its prey under the moonlit night. "What might be going on here, if you don't mind me asking..."

Your heart seemed to freeze, its rhythmic beats replaced by an echoing silence that engulfed you. Time slowed to a crawl, every second stretching into an eternity, giving you ample opportunity to feel the weight of the situation sinking in. The world blurred at the edges, leaving only Tom's penetrating gaze fixed upon you, like a raptor locking onto its target.

Under the burden of Mattheo's seemingly unconscious form against your shoulder, you let out an irritated grunt, trying to maintain an appearance of nonchalance. You met Tom's eyes with a forced composure, your every movement calculated to appear casual despite the storm of emotions swirling within you.

"I found him passed out on a bench outside the library as I was leaving..." each word hung in the air, carrying the weight of a carefully constructed lie, a fragile facade concealing the complexity of the truth beneath. "He's bloody wasted, I couldn't just leave him there..."

Tom's eyes flickered with disappointment, his sharp scrutiny never wavering as he glanced over Mattheo's apparently intoxicated state. There was a subtle sigh of resignation, as if he had expected nothing less from his wayward brother.

"Very well," he said, his tone holding a hint of exasperation. "Take him back to his dormitory, I trust you can manage that. And do remind him that his actions won't go unnoticed, even in the cover of darkness..."

His gaze drilled into you, a silent warning echoing in his eyes, before he turned on his heel and disappeared into the shadows of the corridor. With a lingering sense of foreboding, you guided Mattheo toward his dorm, the weight of the night's events pressing down upon you like an invisible burden.

——————-

Chapter thirteen->

#smut #mattheosmut #mattheo x you #mattheoxreader #mattheo x y/n #mattheoriddle #mattheo smut #mattheo riddle smut #mattheo riddle #mattriddlesmut #mattheo #mattheoriddlesmut #riddlesmut #theoriddlesmut #theodorenottsmut #theodore smut #severus snape #draco smut #draco malfoy smut #tom riddle smut #tom riddle #tom riddle x reader #tomriddle smut #tomriddlesmut #tomriddle x reader #marcus lopez smut #marcuslopez #marcus lopez imagine #harry potter #severus smut

[its-jaytothemee]

Until I Met You - Chapter 3

Chapter 3: Onward

Pairings: Halsin x Tav

Word count: 4,521

Rating: Currently M, will be Explicit in later chapters.

Read on AO3

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Summary: A slow burn Tav and Halsin romance fic about their relationship forming between the major events of Baldur's Gate 3, and probably a little bit after too. Explores Tav's friendships with all the other companions, but mainly Karlach. Lots of longing and fluff, including plenty of soft Halsin moments.

Tags: Slow burn, hurt/comfort, love confessions, eventual smut, light angst, implied past rape/non-con, description of injuries.

A/N: I took my BG3 party into the Underdark at too low of a level and paid the price. But what is an almost TPK but a good excuse for hurt/comfort in the fic? Karlach also tries very hard to be a good wingwoman.

Tav awoke the next morning to a warm, wet feeling sliding over her face. Scratch was looming over her, licking her cheeks. She sputtered a bit and gently pushed him away.

“Good morning, buddy. Yes, yes, your breath is the perfect hangover cure.” Tav felt her head reeling from last night’s activities. She nudged Karlach awake using one of the empty bottles, there were more surrounding them than she remembered.

Stretching her arms and legs was more difficult than expected, her stomach lurched at the movement.

“Oh Gods…I’m too old for this.” She leaned over with her hands on her knees to steady herself.

“Me too, soldier. Me too.” Karlach had only made it up to one knee. Half of her hair was tangled around her undamaged horn.

“I see you two got your beauty sleep.” Astarion’s voice sounded behind them.

“Ugh…not so loud.” Tav waved her hand at him. She was trying to shake the sand from her hair.

“Run a comb through that hair, darling. Halsin wants to speak with you.” He winked at her as he turned to walk back to camp.

She splashed some cold water on her face, taking a cupped handful and dumping it on Karlach as well. Her hair was a disaster, so she just tied it back out of her face. The tieflings had already cleared from their camp, no doubt they were anxious to get on the road to Baldur’s Gate.

“Good morning, I trust you enjoyed your evening?” Halsin called out to her.

“What gave it away?” Her eyes were still adjusting to the morning light. He snorted in response.

“There are worse ways to wake up than next to a friend with matching hangovers.” His eyes shifted over to Karlach, who was laying on the ground again. Tav couldn’t help but smile affectionately.

“Regardless, it was well deserved after all your efforts. It may be some time before you’re afforded another such night. There is much to be done, and I promised I would help you however I could.”

Tav nodded along as he spoke, working to push the fog from her mind.

“I’m certain a cure can be found for you at Moonrise Towers, but it’s…complicated. The journey specifically is particularly perilous.”

Tav sucked in a sharp breath and bit her lip. She still wasn’t certain that they should be going to Moonrise. Halsin heard her and shifted his gaze to the ground.

“Halsin, how sure are you that we have to go to Moonrise?” She asked. Her voice was small, quiet, and not just because of the incessant pounding in her head.

“I am certain. In the goblin camp, I heard the destination mentioned constantly.”

“Fuck.” She grumbled.

“What’s wrong with Moonrise?” Karlach had finally gotten up and joined them.

Tav and Halsin shared a knowing look, she nodded to him to take the lead.

“To get to Moonrise Towers, we must pass through a terrible place – a cursed place.” Halsin turned to address the rest of the camp. “The curse shrouds the entire land in shadow. Nature cannot thrive here, there is no life, no light.” He spared another glance toward Tav, but she couldn’t meet it.

She squeezed her eyes shut, convincing herself to keep tears from forming in her eyes. Desperately trying to keep the memory of her brief time at Moonrise out of her mind. It had been a century, yet the pain still plagued her.

“Any beings who linger are twisted by the shadow curse into tormented, dangerous souls.” Halsin’s voice was quiet, and she could feel his eyes on her.

“How have the Absolute’s forces been able to tolerate it?” Tav spoke up again, still looking at the ground.

“I’m not sure, but we will have to plan our approach carefully. There are two routes of which I am aware. The mountain pass, quicker at first but we cannot avoid the shadow curse entirely.” He took a deep breath. “You could also go under. I have heard of a secret passage in the secret temple of Selûne. Supposedly, it contains a passage through the Underdark to Moonrise.” So, her hunch was right, there was a pass through the Underdark.

“That’s why you went with Aradin, isn’t it? You hoped their search for the Nightsong would lead you to the passage.” Tav guessed.

“Precisely. But in my eagerness, I put far too much faith in Aradin and his band. We didn’t even get close.” Halsin sounded ashamed.

“We found the entrance to the secret temple of Selûne. We should be able to pick up the trail from there.” Tav took a deep breath, finally accepting that one way or another, she would be going back to Moonrise.

“Already? If only I had met you before Aradin.” He let out an impressed laugh. Tav tried to return a smile, but the shadow curse now weighed heavily on her mind.

“We will work our way to the Underdark as soon as we pack up camp here.” Tav decided.

“Thank you all, for allowing me to join your camp. I will offer my skills and counsel whenever possible. I have long awaited a chance to return to Moonrise.” He paused and looked Tav in the eyes. “It seems our fates are aligned.”

***

Halsin stood awkwardly in the center of camp as his new companions dispersed around him. This newfound freedom was refreshing, he was able to enjoy nature outside of the confines of the Emerald Grove. Still, he was unsure of how he would fit in with this group. The last time he set out with a strange group of adventurers, he ended up locked away and tortured for days.

To be fair, this group was far different than Aradin’s band of mercenaries. Aradin was a harsh, selfish leader. Halsin wasn’t even sure if he could call him a leader with the way he treated his followers. He saw how easily he abandoned those who had joined him on his quest. Aradin had left the injured behind as he ran away. The one night he spent in a camp with the group was enough to drive him to near madness.

But with these unlikely companions, he could already feel a difference. He already witnessed their ability to fight, as well as their ability to watch out for one another. They had laughed and mingled with the refugees that had been in their camp, inviting them to share their campfire. Even now, they worked together to clean up their belongings. Tav moved between everyone, checking in on them and helping roll the large pieces of canvas and taking stock of their supplies. He found himself smiling as he watched her, feeling another pull in his chest. Her advances from the night before were still fresh in his mind, stirring him to his core.

No, you must stay focused. You’re so close now.

The feeling of a wet tongue on his hands startled him out of his fantasy. The shaggy white dog he had seen prowling the camp had wandered over to his side. Halsin knelt down to pet him.

“Hello, you’re quite the handsome creature.” He said, scratching his ears.

“Hello, new friend. Mistress says you’ll be joining us now. I’m called Scratch.” The dog’s tail was wagging furiously.

“I suppose I am.” He couldn’t help but smile around dogs, they were such happy and loyal animals. Scratch sniffed around him quickly, his ears perking up a little bit.

“You have a different scent to you. Not bad, but different.” He sat back down, and his head cocked slightly to the side.

“Such a good nose. I spend time around all different sorts of animals, nothing to be worried about.” Halsin assured him, Scratch seemed content with his answer.

“You’re lucky to join us. The nice people rescued me after my last Master was killed. The Master with the pointy ears says I’m the most handsome one in camp.” Scratch looked over towards Astarion.

“Well, I think he might be right.” Halsin gave him one more pat on the head before standing up.

“Keep well, friend. I’m going to see if Mistress will bring back my friend to play for a while.”

Scratch trotted off to the bushes to grab something before going up to Tav. Her face lit up and she knelt to rub his ears. He could just barely make out their conversation.

“Could I play with sister? I found a toy.” His tail was wagging faster and faster, he dropped a small red ball at her feet.

“Sure, I’ll call her forward.” Tav let out a loud whistle and her wolf companion, Lunari, appeared by her side. She immediately knelt into a playful bow when she saw Scratch. Tav picked up the ball and tossed it into the bushes, causing both canines to sprint after it. Tav and the wizard, Gale, laughed as they watched the two of them playing. He found himself smiling along with them.

Yes, this group is much different than the last.

“Hey, bear man!” Karlach’s voice called from behind him. “I could use another set of tall limbs to take this stuff down.”

“Happy to help.” He grabbed the canvas at the top of her tent and tugged, bringing the whole thing down to the ground.

“Thanks! It’s nice to have someone else with some reach around here.” She beamed at him.

He helped her fold up the fabric and gather some of the various items lying around.

“So, Karlach, you and Tav seem to be close friends. How long have you known each other?”

“Tav and I? Oh, we just met about 4 days ago. Helped save me from some assassins Zariel sent after me. But yeah, I suppose we are good mates now.”

“Only 4 days? I would have thought you two grew up together from the way you spoke.” Halsin chuckled.

“What can I say? You may not believe me after her crazy stuttering yesterday, but she’s incredibly easy to talk to.” Karlach was stuffing a small toy bear into her pack as she spoke.

He spared a glance at Tav who was currently vomiting into the bushes.

“Even if she can’t handle her wine.” Karlach laughed. “Thanks for the help, want me to help you get your things together?”

“That won’t be necessary. I don’t really have any things. I brought a pack with some medical supplies and a couple of notebooks, but that’s about it.” He patted the bag slung around his back.

“What about your tent? Or a bedroll? I don’t think we have any extras.” Karlach looked around her, perhaps hoping that one would have magically appeared.

“You’re very kind to worry about me, but I don’t need such amenities. I’m happy to be resting under the stars and amidst the Oakfather’s creations.” He sighed happily at the thought. Karlach had a big grin on her face suddenly.

“Well, if you change your mind, I’m sure there’s someone here who would let you share. You know…in case you get cold. Or lonely.” Karlach was still grinning, and he caught the very quick change in her gaze as it momentarily shifted to Tav. He couldn’t help but laugh at her matchmaking attempt.

Good mates indeed. If only you knew, Karlach.

“I’ll be sure to keep that in mind, thank you. If you’ll excuse me, I think I’ll see if I can’t get our leader feeling a bit better before we head out.”  He stood up with a grunt, leaving Karlach with a proud grin on her face.

Halsin made his way over to Tav, who was finally standing up straight.

“I uh…I’m thinking year 207 is officially the year you’re too old to drink all night.” Tav wiped her mouth on the back of her hand.

“207? Please, wait until you get to be my age. You’ll barely want to look at a bottle.” Halsin teased. “Come here, my friend. Let me get you back on your feet.”

“No, don’t waste any healing on me right now, I’ll manage.” She waved her hand in front of her face, causing her skin to take on a bit of a sickly, green tint.

“I insist. I’m sure there will still be plenty to go around after helping you. Besides, I noticed some burns on your hands that will make moving all this equipment difficult.”

She looked down at her palms, apparently trying to figure out where they came from. Finally, a look of realization popped up on her face.

“Oh right…I accidentally touched Karlach a couple of times.” She remembered.

“May I?” He reached out to her, and she nodded in response.

He gingerly held her hands in his outstretched palm. His other hand covered the burns. The small blisters slowly faded away as he murmured the simple incantation, the words coming as easily to him as his own name. Even after all these years, he still hadn’t tired of the feeling of healing another living soul. The way their aching muscles or splitting skin would relax under his hands, the look of joy and relief on their faces as the pain vanished.

The familiar feeling came over him tenfold as Tav smiled up at him, causing his knees to buckle slightly. Her skin was returning to its normal color, and the blisters on her palms had transformed back to her smooth skin. He kept his eyes fixed on her hands resting in his. Letting out a shaky breath at the sight, he thought of how badly he wanted to keep holding them there.

“Halsin? Are you alright?” Tav spoke softly, her brow furrowed as she looked up at him.

“Y-yes. Quite alright.” He let his hands drop from hers.  

“Thank you…I feel much better. Once again, not making a great impression I fear.” She chuckled nervously.

“What makes you say that?” Halsin tried to meet her gaze, but she looked off towards the trees.

“Well, it’s not exactly a great quality in an ally to start the first day of an important journey hungover as all fuck. Not to mention, I can’t help but feel I perhaps came on a little too strong last night. I got a bit caught up in the moment and…I’m sorry if I put you in an awkward position.” The now familiar blush returned to her face.

“Cast those regrets aside, you were celebrating a great deed with your friends. And there are few things too strong for me. You did not get caught up in the moment you seized it.” She seemed to relax a little at his response, which is why he surprised himself with the next words that came out of his mouth.

“Under different circumstances, I would have done the same.”

Her head snapped forward again at his words, one eyebrow raised.

First day out of your Archdruid position and you lose all your self-control? Oh Tav, please let it drop this time.

“Well, I’m glad I didn’t leave a bad impression, then.” She said slowly, trying to conceal a smile.

“I’ll help get some of these tents packed up. Can’t have anyone thinking I don’t pull my weight around here.” He gave a small nod before turning to walk away, desperate to conceal the blush he felt coming over his face.

***

Tav kept her eyes on Halsin as he walked across the small camp. She felt even more confused about him now. After their other conversations though, she didn’t want to push the subject any further. She was certain that she had made her thoughts known over the last two days, if he felt anything as well, he would say so when he was ready. He was already proving to be a kind and valuable addition to their group, she would hate to push him away.

Under different circumstances, I would have done the same.

The words played over again in her mind. There was a sadness to the words that she couldn’t quite place. She thought back to their brief discussion of Moonrise when they first met, he said they could perhaps see the light again there. Something told her his eagerness to join their adventure wasn’t just to deal with the Absolute. Any living soul who has witnessed the shadow curse was likely forever changed by it and by the way Halsin spoke, she guessed that he was there when it was unleashed.

A high-pitched squeal pulled her from her thoughts. Karlach had bounded over next to her.

“That looked like it went well!” Karlach was dancing in place, eager to hear what Tav had to say.

“You’re being weird.” Tav smiled as she walked to her tent to finish packing.

“Come on, tell me!” Karlach begged.

Tav recounted her conversation with Halsin, leaving out her observations surrounding the shadow curse.

“Oh, he likes you mate. Just you wait, you’re gonna ride that bear before we make it to Moonrise.”

“KARLACH!” Tav half yelled, half laughed.

“What? Excuse me for rooting for you to get some action. I have to experience it through someone since I can’t touch anything without singeing it to bits.”

“If you’re going to stand here teasing me, at least make yourself useful.” Tav rolled her eyes and threw her bedroll at the large tiefling.

“Taaaaaaaavvvvvvv!” Astarion’s voice called from across camp.

“Actually, you know what, why don’t you go help Astarion with his instead. Otherwise, we’ll never get on the road.” She joked. As Karlach jogged over to his tent, Tav let her eyes wander back to Halsin, playing their conversation over again as she packed up her things.

*

Since they had ventured there already, the trip back to the temple was an easy one. They had left a magical sigil in the underground temple, allowing them to travel there easily with a simple incantation from Gale. A second later, they were all teleported to the Underdark, taking a moment to allow their eyes to adjust to the darkness. The musty smell around them was a sharp contrast to the air above ground. Although, she had to admit there was a strange beauty to her surroundings. The glowing crystals and mushrooms bathed everything in soft, colorful lights.

“First time in the Underdark?” Halsin asked, setting some of their packs on the ground.

“Yes. I didn’t expect it to be so…enchanting.” She looked through the bars of the temple that overlooked a large section of land.

“Yes, an entirely different world and an incredible feat of nature. But it is as enchanting as it is dangerous. Do be careful as you explore, there are many hidden threats.” He warned.

“Okay then, we should probably scout ahead a bit before we decide where to make a camp. Who wants to come with?” She asked.

“I’d like to explore this area a bit more. I’ve always been somewhat fascinated with the Underdark’s ecosystem.” Gale piped up from the back of the group.

“I’ll join as well. I’m awfully used to prowling in the dark after all.” Astarion was strapping a couple of daggers to his belt.

“Anything to get me out of this heinous temple.” Shadowheart was visibly disgusted by the building around them.

“Great, grab your shit and let’s get moving.” Tav called, checking her supply of arrows. Lunari padded up beside her, ready to accompany them.

***

All in all, the four of them were probably only gone for two hours before they came limping back to the temple. Astarion had Gale’s arm around his shoulders on one side, helping him walk. On the other side one of Tav’s arms was draped around his shoulder and neck. Shadowheart had the other and they were dragging Tav back in, unconscious, one of her legs a torn, bloody mess. Lunari trotted alongside them, whining and headbutting her. Halsin ran to the iron doors at the entrance of the temple.

“You guys weren’t gone long. Everything o –” Karlach started to call out but let out a loud gasp when she saw Tav. “Fucking hells! What happened?”

“Everything happened. Think of a creature and we probably found one and fought it off.” Shadowheart snapped back.

“Why didn’t you heal them?” Karlach asked, pacing nervously.

“I did! This is what’s still left over, I could barely keep her alive. I’m tapped out.” Shadowheart was breathing heavily.

Gale let go of Astarion and limped over to a bench. A large cut ran down his right temple. Halsin quickly looked over the four of them, out of all the injuries Tav’s were by far the most severe.

“Bring her over here.” Halsin pointed to a table nearby. Wyll cleared all items from the table as Karlach and Lae’zel lifted her up to lay on the old wooden surface.

“What creature did this?” Halsin asked, slowly moving the fabric around her legs out of the way. The right thigh had a huge laceration running down its length. Her left lower leg was shredded, tassels of sinew and skin hanging in various directions. One bone was broken in half. As he looked her over, he also noticed a very large puncture wound in her abdomen, but it looked like it had at least been partially healed. This had to be one of the worst injuries Halsin had seen in some time. Tav’s breathing was shallow, her eyelids fluttering slightly.

“Minotaurs. Two of them ambushed us not far from here on our way back. We already had the absolute shit beat out of us by a spectator, then a bulette.” Astarion was kneeling on the ground, catching his breath.

“A bulette?” Halsin asked, trying to keep his curiosity from distracting him.

“Also, some Drow that had been petrified for gods know how long.” Gale had grabbed a cloth to press against his head wound.

“Don’t forget the exploding mushrooms, darling.” Astarion was leaning against the doorway now.

“You mean the ones I told you to leave alone?” Shadowheart snipped. Astarion just made a face back at her.

“I’ll need some extra hands, whoever has the stomach for it.” Halsin started calling out instructions. Lae’zel and Wyll both stepped up to his side.

“Lae’zel, remove her armor, starting with her legs. Cut it off if you must. Wyll, there is a large, purple pouch in my pack. We’ll also need plenty of cloth to bind wounds. I doubt I will be able to heal all of this in one evening.”

Blood was starting to pool under her legs and seep into the wooden table. There was no way he could get all of these wounds taken care of in one session, not on his own. Shadowheart was already exhausted, and Tav was the only other one of them with healing magic.

Think, Halsin, think…the burns!

“Karlach, I’m going to need your help.”

“How? I can’t touch her without burning her.” She came and stood next to him.

“Precisely. I need to cauterize the thigh wound. She’s losing blood and I need time to get everything in place.”

“If you say so…” She held her hand tentatively above Tav’s leg.

Halsin made sure all her clothing was out of the way before he had Karlach press her hand into the bloodied skin. The smell of burning flesh filled the air around them, causing a few groans and gags from his new companions. Tav’s leg spasmed slightly, but he held it down. He pointed to the different spots for Karlach, who was grimacing with each touch.

“Okay, that should do for now. Well done.” He dismissed Karlach.

Halsin set to work, first cleaning the other leg wound best he could. Luckily with Tav already unconscious, he didn’t have to be as gentle. She likely wasn’t feeling much pain at the moment. He ground up a large mixture of healing herbs, pressing the fragrant paste into the hole in her torso. Her skin was slightly cool to the touch, with a light layer of sweat coating her entire body. A raspy groan slipped from her lips.

Hold on, Tav.

Once he was confident the wounds were clean, he began the healing spells. He had to work slowly, going too quickly could cause additional scarring and lingering pain when a limb was in such shape as this. He finished his first healing spell and waited a moment, giving the flesh a chance to react to his words. After a deep breath, he started the incantation over again, still concentrating on her tattered leg. He repeated the process over and over again, moving to the other wounds after a couple of rounds on her worse leg.

“T…Tev…Tev’aron come…back…” Tav whispered the words.

Halsin kept working between the wounds until he was unable to produce any magic. It took hours of concentrated healing to get the wound to a manageable state. He eventually fell to his knees, exhausted. Luckily, he had healed the worst of the injuries. Her left leg was still cut up and bloody, but he had at least managed to mend the broken bone and guide the tendons back into place. It was wrapped in some clean bandages to keep any dirt out. The wound in her stomach was completely healed outside of a small circular scab. Her right thigh was looking much better, although there was still some evidence of the burns around the area.

“That will have to do for now.” He said quietly, out of breath. “I’m sorry, I don’t have enough to help the rest of you.”

“We’ll live. We should have some spare potions here somewhere.” Gale assured him.

“Let’s get her to bed, I’ll watch over her tonight.”

They set up a quick camp within the walls of the temple. The others helped him move Tav to the ground onto her bedroll. Halsin sat down next to her and leaned against the wall. Karlach was kind enough to bring him dinner, he didn’t mind that she mainly used it as an excuse to sit next to Tav for a bit. After she left, he noticed a small stuffed bear sitting in the crook of Tav’s arm. He wiped the sweat from his brow as he looked down on the sweet elf next to him. Her breathing had calmed slightly, and her temperature seemed to be normal again. He slid his hand across her forehead and softly brushed some hair from her face. There was a low whine in the doorway as Lunari slowly walked into the room. She circled around Tav, sniffing the bandages around her legs. Eventually she circled over next to Halsin and curled up at Tav’s side, resting her head gently on her chest.

Halsin carefully reached over and pet the wolf on the head.

“It’s okay girl, she will recover just fine.” He assured her.

“Yes. She is strong. She would never leave me.” Lunari let out another whine as Tav took a ragged breath.

He laid his head back against the wall, trying to drift into a trance for a while, one hand still resting in Lunari’s fur.

Oakfather, please…watch over her.

Halsin’s silent prayer echoed in his head as his eyes slowly closed for the night.

#bg3 #baldur's gate 3 #baldur's gate iii #bg3 fanfiction #bg3 halsin #halsin fanfic #halsin x tav #halsin silverbough #bg3 headcanons #bg3 brainrot #bg3 fluff #the tadfools

[day0walker]

me: i have writers block also me: writes 1.8k of porn

includes guy jerking off while other guy encourages him right through it. so tags for a dude absolutely whacking it and then making a mess of it and also dirty talk. a lot of dirty talk.

benji belongs to @fr0ntier

It’s still dark out when Xavier wakes up, earlier than his alarm. Night bleeds into the room, makes his eyes feel fuzzy as he adjusts to the smallest bit of light eeking in through parted curtains. The street lights, casting orange glows through the panes, making everything look hazy and strange. He can’t remember the dream, it slips through his fingers, recedes back into his subconscious to plague him at a later date. But Xavier knows it had been a good one.

Explains the aching beginning of hardness in his briefs. He palms his hand down over it, groans out a sound as he flattens his hand over his eyes. Xavier’s tongue feels thick in his mouth, sleepiness making crust around his eyelashes, making him blink rapidly to try and clear the fog over his pupils.

“Benji,” he mumbles like the name was resting right on the tip of that fat, tired tongue. “You awake, man?”

The body next to him doesn’t shift. Not even a little and Xavier huffs out a breath, can’t decide if he’s annoyed or envious—knows for a fact he wont sleep until he takes care of what’s quickly becoming a full erection. It doesn’t help that his body is warmed from the memory of Benji; he’s so close, maybe a sliver of mattress between them and Xavier could flatten his hand to his back if he wanted. Feel the curve of his spine. Touch the bite mark he’d left on his shoulder when Benji had been grinding against him, missionary on the bed.

He’s remembering the sounds he’d made, the way his half naked body had looked tensing. Benji’s short, but not small. Certainly not where it counts; stocky built and muscular with defined thighs and arms. Drummers build. Stamina for days. Which Xavier had tried to test all night long, so it’s like no fucking wonder he’d had some crazy sex dream that had woken him up hard. But he’s also exhausted. It pours through his veins, like he could fall asleep easy if it weren’t for the current issue.

“Benji,” Xavier says again, just a little louder.

“Fuck off.” There’s a shuffle under the covers. Xavier reaches out, slides his hand up Benji’s spine and cups the back of his neck. “I don’t have to look at my watch to know it’s fuck early in the mornin’.” But even as he says it, Xavier’s dark adjusted eyes can watch the way his body rolls in reaction to the touch. Finding out Benji reacted to every little brush of fingers over his body had been fucking delightful.

“I need your help,” Xavier whines, pushing his hand up into Benji’s hair. It’s scruffy and cute and he’d liked it from the first minute he saw it. An inch or so out of militant regulation and that didn’t matter. It framed his exhausted looking, pissed off face so well. He threads his fingers, tugs a little and feels Benji’s hand slap onto his thigh. Xavier sucks in a quick breath at the sensation.

“Help yourself.” There’s a pause where Benji turns his head slowly. “Not to me, dickhead.” But it seems half hearted, laced with sleep. Xavier turns on his side, hooks an arm around the smaller mans waist and tugs him closer. Listens to the groaning exhale of him as their bodies get close and molded together. Xavier presses his nose into Benji’s neck, breathes out long and slow.

“God, you smell good.”

“We jacked each other off all night, I fucking reek.”

Yeah, but it was that nasty, primal, human scent that was making Xavier feel riled up in ways he couldn’t explain. He could move his mouth a little and find the exact spot he’d sunk his teeth into. When he puts his tongue there instead, Benji’s moving instantly. Turning over, pushing Xavier onto his back and staring down at him.

“Prick,” Benji says and Xavier shrugs fondly, runs his giant hands up the other man’s sides. Feels the ripple of his muscles, the expanse of his ribcage as he draws in air. He’s learned to read this prickly guys attitude, learned that a few soft and gentle touches has him pliant and supple. But sometimes Xavier likes when he’s mean, likes getting called British insults. Likes being snarked at more than he probably should. Really likes Benji’s chest hair too, which he runs a hand into fondly.

He flicks a glance down Xavier’s body, at the outline pressing up in his dark navy briefs. Then his eyes roam back up and Xavier is lifting a hand up.

“I just said help, not like, do something.” He holds his hand up under Benji’s mouth. “Loan me some spit.” Benji’s weight settles over Xavier’s thighs, straddling him and staring down and Xavier can’t parse if the look he’s giving him is absolutely disgusted, annoyed or really, really turned on. Considering one of their first intimate moments had been Xavier pouring whiskey and saliva into Benji’s mouth he’s betting on the latter, but with a little of the other two mixed in for spice.

So when Benji finally does spit in his hand, he’s grinning ear to sleazy fucking ear.

“Atta boy,” Xavier mutters and feels Benji’s thighs squeezing around him hard. He slicks his hand with the spit, watches as the other mans hands pull down his briefs for him. The cold air hits his cock and makes him shiver, makes him gasp aloud and Benji palms across his chest and shoves him back against the mattress harder. It makes him laugh but that laugh turns whimerpy when his spit soaked hand wraps around his own cock.

He drags his fist lazily, thumb swiping over the tip of himself. He’s thinking about the night. About them tumbling into the room, clothes pulling off. Thinking about the same position they’re in right now, except in his dreams he’d been inside Benji; fucking upward while he ground down, while Benji had leaned back, hands on Xavier’s big thighs and worked himself up and down. Xavier’s hand had been around the other man’s cock then.

“Damn, I had dreams about this,” he mumbles, working his hand faster. “Wish I wasn’t so fucking tired.”

“I think I did a lot of the work. S’my mouth that’s probably more sore.”

Xavier huffs out a laugh as he tugs at himself, looking up at Benji. Unsurprised to find the man’s eyes connected solely to where he’s taking care of himself. The sheen of his own spit worked over Xavier’s cock. Like he’s trying to put on a show, Xavier rolls his hips up slightly, fucks into his fist harder and Benji’s hand slides down his stomach in response. Xavier moans, long and loud and pathetic.

“Yeah, talk about it.”

“Need help gettin’ yourself there?”

Benji’s mean little voice does make Xavier twitch in his grasp. He enjoys the way Benji slides from his thighs, tucks his shorter body closer to him. Xavier lays there, on his back as Benji spoons beside him. His nose trails over Xavier’s ear and makes him shudder again, makes him tug harder at his cock.

“You want me to tell you about how good you feel, handsome?”

“Oh, fuck, Benji. Yeah. Really do.”

He responds to Xavier’s desperate sound by roaming his hand over the red heads chest, cupping his pectoral a little—just the way Xavier does himself and it makes him feel weak in the knees to be fucking known like that. To have someone touch him in a way that is almost intimate in the knowledge of how much he enjoys it. It makes him whimper and that whimper makes Benji’s eyes look dark. Xavier’s tongue wets his lips, his head turned more so he can look at his medic, press his forehead to the other mans, like he’s desperate to keep those eyes on his.

“So good,” Benji purrs as Xavier’s hand quickens on himself. “Nah—slow down, Xavier. Don’t go so fast.” And even though it makes his calves tighten, makes his body feel painful, he does slow. Makes his fist tighter, but the pace unhurried and languid. Xavier’s panting starts up, washes against Benji’s lips. “Make some noise for me.”

And just like the command to slow his wrist down, Xavier commits to what Benji wants, immediately. Let’s his jaw drop open, lets his moan slip free. His spare hand fights to hold onto Benji, arm half wrapped around him. His hand lands somewhere on Benji’s stomach, fingers digging in tightly. He groans out, eyes squeezing shut as he jerks at himself.

“Fuckin’ hell, Benji.”

“Fucking you, gorgeous—you wish, though, huh?”

“Y-Yeah.”

“Nah, say it—let me hear it.”

“I want you to fuck me so hard, I fucking cry, Benji.”

It becomes all too much to not be close to him. Xavier turns into Benji’s body, both of them on their side as he keeps his slow rhythm. They’re both watching his hand now, watching it move over his achingly reddening cock. His heavy breathing comes out in huffs now, his hips pressing forward needily and Benji lets out a laugh. It’s not condescending or cruel, it’s amused in a sort of way that makes Xavier feel sweet.

“Tell me,” Xavier whispers. “Please.”

“You’re doing good, sweetheart. Real good. Real pretty. S’nice like that, yeah? But you want to go faster?”

“Yes.”

Benji loops his hands behind Xavier’s head, gives him a soft and slow kiss. Their bodies are pressing closer, Xavier’s cock rubbing against the other mans stomach, smearing precum. His hand moves harder, faster.

“You want to cum on me while I tell you how good you are?”

“Yeah.”

“Good fuckin’ boy, Xavier. My good fuckin’ guy.”

“Jesus, Benji, you’re real—real fucking good at this.”

“You make it easy.”

It makes Xavier clutch Benji closer, makes him rut up against him. He feels Benji’s bare skin, his stomach, against the tip of his cock. And then he can’t hold back any longer, jerks off harder and faster and needier. He’s panting and groaning, bucking hips forward as Benji’s lips find his ear and talks him through it. He can’t catch the words, can’t find them or define them, just feels the cadence of the soldier’s voice. They no longer matter nearly as much as just feeling Benji’s tone; feeling the encouragement.

When he comes, it pours over his fist and he can’t not rub it against Benji’s skin. His eyes are watery with the feeling as he looks down at the mess he’s made of the two of them. His breathing comes in stuttery and hard, his chest expanding and contrasting a little desperately. Then his blurry eyes flick up to look at Benji; who appears just as satisfied.

“You came right when I was telling you how cute you sound, you know that?”

Xavier’s blush spreads all the way up his ears and he groans, leans his head back onto the pillow.

“I am a mercenary and I’m very frightening,” he tells Benji.

“You fuckin’ cum buckets sometimes, too, you prick.” 

In the shower, Xavier’s the one who helps Benji through his own, and it’s wet and it’s slippery and it’s even a little funny the way the big mercenary (because sure, yeah, he is that big scary fucking guy isn’t he?) almost slips a few times trying to get his long body to his knees. And it’s good. It’s sweet, even. Dreamy, in a lot of ways. Feels too good to last, in a lot of other ways.

#original writing #xavier #xavier x benji #they havent even actually banged yet #i literally went and edited parts out that implied they had #because its so much better that they havent

[seita]

— better than (m.)

pairing : iwaizumi/reader

wordcount : 3.087

genre : fluff, smut, pwp

cw : college!au, athletic trainer!iwaizumi

tags : implied age gap (hes 27 reader is in college- age nkt specified. he's older tho), size kink, dom!iwa, pussy job (a lil bit), multiple orgasms, sensitivity kink (if u squint), squirting, fingering, creampie, aftercare.

note : this was just an excuse to write about how iwaizumi is better than any other boy <3 thank u to @toshisins for beta'ing this for me <3

+ summary : you're so tired of dumb college boys who hump and dump, with no stroke game, and can never even try to get you off. that is, until you meet 27 year old iwaizumi hajime.

When you first met Iwaizumi Hajime at the bar near your college campus, you noticed how good looking he was. Well, that was an understatement - he was tall, fit with tanned skin and a confident aura that made you weak in the knees.

You hadn't actually had the courage to approach him, however. Instead, you let some college boy buy you a cheap drink and take you home for some mediocre sex before kicking you out after not even 15 minutes of his reckless humping.

The second time you met him was at the same place. He was sitting at the bar, nursing a glass of whiskey that was almost empty. His back was to you and it gave you a wonderful view of his broad shoulders.

The mediocre lay from the last time you had been there attempted to chat you up again with false confidence, as if he had been the best fuck of your life. Naturally, you weren't having any of his bullshit - he tried to rub your clit like a scratch and sniff, forcing you to pry his hand away from it, there was no chance in hell you were giving him another second of your time. He definitely wasn't the type of guy who took rejection well, if not evident by the way he exploded and went off calling you a wide, colorful variety of names paired with numerous hurtful insults that had tears of humiliation filling your eyes.

“Hey now,” a smooth, deep voice had interrupted his very public spiel, “Don’t punish the girl for your own short comings, if she doesn't wanna fuck you again, don't you think that says more about your abilities as a man?”

The other man sputtered, muttering even more curses before storming out - probably not wanting to tussle with a guy who looked like he benched every second of his day.

There was something about Iwaizumi that just immediately had your heart skipping a beat over him. He was kind, a gentleman, and never seemed desperate or overbearing. He was confident and comfortable with himself and where he was in life.

You quickly learned that Iwaizumi was 27, almost 28 and worked as an athletic trainer so he traveled a lot.

For a while, your relationship seemed one sided with him. You'd text him and he’d reply but he rarely ever actually reached out to you. You tried flirting with him, asking him out for drinks, but it never seemed to pull him in.

It was frustrating. In basically no time at all, you had developed a stupid puppy dog crush on him. You felt like a middle school girl with a crush on a high school senior - like he was never going to give you the time of day. You were simply too young for him.

You eventually stopped trying with him, choosing to delete your message thread with him and continued on with your life.

You went through more college-boy hookups - all of them ending in disaster. Quite frankly, you were fed up with mediocre cock and being treated like shit when they were done with you. It wasn't a nice feeling, being kicked out after they didn't even bother trying to make you cum.

You couldn’t help but wonder what Iwaizumi would be like in bed. He was just so attractive, you knew he had gotten his dick wet more times than he could count. He definitely seemed the type who preferred relationships over hookups.

That's when it occurred to you.

You pulled out your phone and scoured your contacts. It had been a couple weeks since you spoke but you couldn't resist bugging him just one last time. You opened a new message thread with him and quickly typed the question that was now plaguing your mind.

“Do you have a girlfriend?”

It was the question that had changed the course of your relationship with him.

When you asked, it was like everything fell into place. Perhaps it finally relayed to him the interest you had. All that really mattered was the fact he suddenly began talking to you, starting conversations and even venturing into phone calls with you.

You lost all interest in those college boys you once hung out with and went home with to get laid. None of them made you feel the way Iwaizumi could with a simple text message. He was everything a girl could ask for and you were shocked he was single.

Which was why you were quick to ask him on a date, not caring if it made you look desperate -- you practically were. You would be damned if he went off the market while you were busy beating around the bush.

Going on a date with Iwaizumi was like a dream. You were so used to dates at sleazy bars for a couple of drinks just so they could hurry up and take you home for a quick fuck.

Iwaizumi took the time to take you on several dates -- dinner, movies, walks around town to obscure shops he thought you might like, before it finally led to the bedroom.

You had never been nervous with sex but with Iwaizumi it was different. The routine was dumb college boys who usually fawned over your tits for a few minutes before their hard ons became the center of their brain function.

You found yourself completely bare on his bed as he stood at the foot, fully clothed. The way his eyes raked across your body like a lion eyeing its next, delicious meal had you curling in on yourself shyly.

His lips quirked up as your arms came across your breasts, shielding them from his predatory gaze, “Oh now, you know better than that, don’t you? What kind of good girl hides herself, hm? Acted so eager for my cock all this time, now you wanna be shy?”

You gasp, cheeks flushing hot as you register his words -- he’d known you wanted him that badly all this time?

He clicks his tongue, “You didn’t think you were subtle did you? Bet you would have done anything to get your paws on my dick when I got off work early the other day, hm? Showed up at your apartment...you were starin’ real hard at me, I’m right aren’t I?”

You think that to that day, lashes fluttering against your cheeks at the memory. He was wearing loose gray sweats and a muscle tank top that showed his biceps flexing with every movement he made. Your eyes had immediately been drawn, however more down to his crotch instead. Where you could clearly see the outline of his cock through the material.

You had stuffed your little fingers in your cunt for hours that night, thinking about how big he looked -- even soft, couldn’t imagine if he was hard.

“Ah, there you go again,” he muses, snapping you out of your haze, “Maybe if you ask real pretty for me, I’ll give you just what you want.”

“Please,” you immediately gasp, “Want you so much Hajime, i-it hurts. Can’t stop thinkin’ about you…”

“It hurts?” he huffs, finally reaching up to pull his shirt off, leaving you to ogle his pecs and defined abs, which flex as he works on removing his jeans, “Needy little cunt hurts ‘cause you don’t have a nice, fat cock stuffing it full? Such a dramatic little baby. I just know your phone is full of some little college boys’ numbers...why don’t you give them a call?”

You shake your head, “Don’t want them! I just know they’re not as good as you, Hajime, please...please make me cum, I'll do anything?”

“Aw, those idiot little boys don’t know how to make a pretty girl like you cum, is that it?” he asks, climbing onto the bed, making the mattress dip beneath you as he slots himself between your thighs.

“No,” you pout, letting him spread your legs, hands under your knees to open you up to his greedy gaze.

“So compliant with me, you just need a real man to get you off, huh?” he smiles when you nod, “Don’t worry, I’ll take real good care of you.”

Oh, you knew. Just from the way he moved his hips against yours, parting your folds so the head of his cock glided from your clenching little hole, dragging your slick up to your clit -- you just knew that he knew what he was doing.

As you looked between your legs, you felt yourself gush at the sight. His cock was so big, long and fat, drooling precum over your slick little slit, making a mess. He wrapped his fist around his length, making you whimper as his fingers couldn’t even wrap around the girth of him. He slapped his cock against your cunt, groaning at the strings of your slick that clung to him.

“Such a messy cunt,” he sighs, making sure to spank your clit with the head of his cock, laughing breathlessly when your thighs jumped in response to the sudden stimulation, “So fucking eager for me, aren’t you?”

“Uhuh,” you sigh, arching your hips, “Want you to fuck, please, Hajime, need it so bad.”

Much to your dismay, he shakes his head, “Can’t just put it in, pretty baby,” the pet name makes you whimper, “It’ll hurt too much, want you to feel good, yeah?”

“I can handle it,” you breathlessly reassure, canting his hips upward once more to drag your clit against that ridge on the crown of his cock, “Jus’ put it in…”

He doesn’t respond this time but still makes no move to put his cock inside. You’re distracted, however, by the way he now focuses on playing with your clit. Using his cock, he drags the underside across the hard little bud, slaps it once with the tip and before you know it your body is seizing up and you cum.

You let out a string of curses, falling limp against the bed as he works you through the quick high.

“See, that was so easy,” he chuckles, “Those stupid little boys you’ve been letting screw you have no idea what they’re doing, do they? Little cunts so sensitive, I barely even had to do anything to make you cum.”

You’re still trembling when you come down, licking your lips as you give him a dopey little smile and a nod at his cooing. He can’t resist leaning down, and pressing his lips against yours almost desperately. You wrap your arms around his neck, holding him in a deep kiss while his hand finds its way between your legs, two fingers sliding easily into your slick little cunt.

You moan into his mouth, “Hajime ah! ...please, make me cum again.”

“Fuck, you’re so desperate for me,” he hisses through his teeth, “Clenching around my fingers so tight. If I crook my fingers...right here...I bet you’ll just…”

As if on cue, his fingertips hook on your g-spot and you squeal, legs kicking out as you gush around his fingers. He bites his lip and continues to fuck his fingers against that spot, watching your eyes roll back, mouth falling open in a silent cry as you cum for the second time in mere minutes.

“Y-You’re so good, Hajime…” you praise softly, “Fuck, please, give me your cock now!”

He laughs and sits up properly again, pulling his fingers from your cunt. He examines them for a second, slick with your cum and streaks of cream covering the digits before he pops them into his mouth with a moan, savoring the taste of you.

“Alright, baby,” he sighs after pulling out his fingers with a pop!. He grips you beneath the knees again and scoots closer until his tip prods at your entrance. You shudder at the feeling, “Relax for me, pretty girl, let me in…”

Iwaizumi begins pushing in, letting out a soft groan as the head finally buries itself in your cunt. You squeal at the feeling, pulling your knees closer to your chest. The sound of you moaning and whimpering just from his head has him throbbing almost painfully against your tender cunt.

“Almost there…” he huffs, grinning at the sight of your eyes rolling back, “Ah, does that feel good?”

“Yes!” you cry out, “Biggest cock I’ve ever had…’s full…”

“Yeah, baby? It feels so good to finally get your cunt filled with a nice, big cock huh?” he laughs when you nod eagerly, “It’s alright, baby. You won’t have to deal with any mediocre college boys anymore, yeah? This cock’s all yours now…you hear that? All yours.”

Your hand flies down between your legs, finding your clit. He watches with lidded eyes as you circle the little bud and squeal, keeping his hips still to let you cum around his cock nice and hard like you need.

“That’s it, pretty girl,” he hums, “Get yourself off, you know what you need...atta girl…”

You sigh happily at his praise, licking your lips and relax against the bed once more. He takes that as his hint that you were ready, pulling his hips back before roughly slamming back inside your sensitive cunt. It knocks the air from your lungs and you cry out, unable to hold back your noises as he fucks you senseless.

He uses his strength to keep you pinned, forcing your knees against your chest, leaving your cunt open and vulnerable to his pistoning cock. Iwaizumi is so big that the stretch burns every time he sinks back into you, the tip touching your cervix with every calculated thrust, making your entire body ache with the deep pain of it.

But it all feels so good, you’d never been fucked like that before. He knew exactly where to aim his cock, keeping his eyes fixed on your face to watch your reactions, gaze flicking down to where his cock stuffs your cunt full to watch you coat him in your cream whenever he grazes that sweet little spot deep inside you -- a spot no other man had ever tried to find before.

“Feel good?” he questions, though he knew the answer even before you cry it out.

“Ah, yes! Yes, yes, yes!” you sob, “I-It feels so good, Hajime! Fuck, you’re so good at fucking me! You make me feel like a virgin all over again!”

He grins, “Yeah, I know I am, baby.”

His cocky, confident response would have been a turn off with any other man, but with him -- it only made you moan. He had every right to be cocky, he knew just how to use his cock and it was exhilarating.

“You gotta cum again for me, pretty,” he pants, “Cum again, one more time, let go.”

Your throat burns from how much you scream for him, the messy noises coming from him fucking your sloppy cunt should be embarrassing -- you’ve never made such a mess before. You’ve never been so wet, creaming and gushing all the way down his balls.

He didn’t seem to mind, instead he seemed to only be turned on by it.

“I want you to squirt, can you do that for me? Make a pretty mess for me.”

You shake your head, “D-Don’t know how...Can’t.”

“Yes you can, baby,” he purrs, “I can make you, you know that I will.”

You didn’t but, you couldn’t help but nod -- immediately believing him and trusting him. He shifts his knees just slightly, changing his center of balance before his palm curls over your pubic bone, thumb effortlessly finding itself pressed against your clit.

The change in angle lets him hit your g-spot even more brutal than before. You’re immediately arching and crying out for him, eyes rolling back into your head as you feel your orgasm slam into you faster than you’d ever experienced.

Instead of slowing you down, he works you through it, keeping the same, animalistic pace and keeps his thumb pressed against your clit, the rough pad of his thumb has you ogling. If anything, the calloused hands of Iwaizumi proves to you how much of a real man he is, those college boys have nothing on him.

“Give it to me, c’mon,” he urges, clenching his teeth together from the effort it takes to keep going to this hard and fast pace.

“H-Haji…” you cut yourself off as you feel yourself get thrown over the edge again. This time, something feels different and you can’t help but sob, “Please! I-I’m gonna-!”

“That’s it, fuck!” he moans, pace stuttering when you squirt -- your cum splashing against his abs as you shudder and squeal, “Good fuckin’ girl, my good girl. Shit, where do you want me to cum?”

“I-Inside! Fuck, please! I need your cum!” you immediately sob, nails biting in his biceps where you reach out to grip him -- trembling and crying from overstimulation as he works towards his own high.

“You sure? Shit,” you nod, breathless pleas falling from your lips as he finally stills, spilling his load deep inside with a long, drawn-out groan.

Everything is still for a moment and then he’s pulling out with a hiss. You whine at the feeling of your cunt gaping, yearning for his cock again, as his cum leaks out.

He hums, “Sorry about that, let me get you cleaned up.”

You sigh, and close your eyes, trying to relax and let your body settle its trembling. He comes back and quietly works on cleaning the mess between your thighs.

“Alright, up you go,” he sighs, taking your arm and helping you to your feet. You whine and wobble for a second, making him laugh, “You good?”

“Y-Yeah…” you stumble a bit and lean against his dresser, looking for your discarded clothes.

He has his back to you as he strips his sheets. Suddenly, you feel shut out -- like you shouldn’t be there anymore.

He brushes past you to his closet, pulling out some fresh sheets. You feel silly, standing there naked while he gets ready for bed. You bend down and grab your panties, clumsily putting them on before moving to pick up your dress, where it’s crumpled on the floor.

“What’re you doing?” he laughs, “That won’t be comfortable to sleep in.”

“Huh?” you tilt your head to the side and he pauses fluffing his pillows.

“What...you didn’t think I was kicking you out, did you?” he asks and scoffs at the face you make.

“Well I...usually I…” you shift on your feet nervously and he frowns, walking up to you.

He cups your cheeks and makes you look at him, “Jesus, who have you been fucking?” he laughs and gently nudges you towards the bed, “Lay down before you fall over.”

Fighting back a smile, you do as you’re told and sit on the bed, watching as he puts on a fresh pair of sweats, waiting for him to join you. When he does, he immediately pulls you into his arms, pressing a kiss to the top of your head.

“Take a nap, and then we’ll take a shower.”

“It’s 11 at night, it wouldn’t be a nap,” you counter with a giggle.

“Well,” he sighs, “Take a shower in the morning then, and then we can go get breakfast, yeah?”

You smile and relax against him, “Sounds good.”

seita © 2020 | all content and its rights belong to me. do not modify or repost

#haikyuu smut #hq smut #iwaizumi smut #haikyuu x reader #hq x reader #iwaizumi x reader #iwaizumi hajime smut #hajime iwaizumi smut #iwaizumi hajime x reader #hajime iwaizumi x reader #afton.writes

[katanaski]

[Grim reaper Natsuo Todoroki x fem.reader]

"A rose,yes; she was a rose. A rose who wilted, waiting for one who dare to grasp her thorns."

This is my piece for @cyancherub 's wheel of misfortune collab. Thank you for letting me join♡

♡NSFW (minors do not interact;18+only).

♡Wc : 13.4k (porn with plot)

♡Warnings: angst,mentions of death,death of a child,mentions of suicide & depression,promiscuous reader, unhealthy coping mechanism,public sex,female masturbation, mild possesive/jelaous sex,vaginal sex,creampie,fingering,pussy eating,throat fucking,praise,anal.

♡Tags: @simpforsadbois

(Please excuse any misspelling errors,for I beta read my own works.Do kindly let me know if I forgot to tag any warnings or triggers. Enjoy)

It has always been him and nothing else. Time is nothing but as mortals call it " a blink of an eye" to him.

Nobody can escape him, whether they be kings and nobles,rich or poor,he takes all.

Plants,animals,every single thing that lives must die.

Countless mortals have tried to bid their time to keep him at bay throughout the ages. Buying themselves nothing but mere years or months with useless elixirs.

Many worship him,kiss the theoretical ground he walks on. Just as many fear him,fear him for themselves and their loved ones,they try to hide to no avail.

He is constant and unwavering,in this life and the next he remains eternal.

Him and him alone.

How he came to be he does not know, his first memory is standing amongst the shadows. A black  tattered robe like that of smoke blowing in the wind adorned his body. He gathered the black of night and formed it into a scythe, long and heavy. The moon  reflected in the crescent shape of the blade that mimicked it.

Like roots of an old tree embedded within his being, or like a child knows how to breathe as soon as it's born. He knows what his purpose in this realm is.

Cut down souls without remorse or hesitation, from here on, until the end of time.

He is Death.

For as long as you've been alive you've been seen and thought of as a curse. A bad omen of sorts. Death seems to follow you wherever you go. The first of many to be lost,your mother.Your own Grandmother shunned you. Never quite got to be as close to her as other little children get to be with their grandparents. Sure she was nice,she fed you and took care of you,put you through school and taught you good manners. But you can see the way her smile doesn't reach her eyes when she  smiles at you. It's blatantly obvious that despite you being her flesh and blood,she resents you.

It's in the way she looks at you when she tells you " You look just like your mother". Her eyes tired and weary,a hint of softness in her arises,thinking how much you look like the one she lost. They way she's always been a little stiff around you. Never really telling you she loves you. You know she partly blames you for the death of her only daughter,your mom. Having died during labor bringing you into this world. Giving up her own life for you.

The trail of bodies doesn't stop there. All of the pets you've had have died. Mysteriously and unexpectedly. Family members and even friends. By your mid teens is when you really start to notice how people seem to avoid you like the plague. You lose count of the many friends who perished by the time you were in college. Suicides,the most common reason for their passing. 

The pressure of proving yourself to be more than enough is too much to handle. The heart wrenching pain you felt when you found your dorm roommate cold and unresponsive, looking like a porcelain doll floating in a pool of red in the tub still lingers. The crumpled letter at the sink,still damp from her tears as she wrote it, her goodbye letter addressed to you,her best friend.

Is after her death that you start considering that perhaps you are cursed. The fact laid out in stone as in your remaining years of college friends and acquaintances leave this world way too soon. The only common factor is that they knew you,so it must be true. Graduating college with no one to celebrate with hurt. Families huddled together around their freshly graduated loved one. While you stood alone,an invisible shield around you as they avoided being close to you at all cost. 

You pondered good and hard about who you wanted to be in this world. Your mother's sacrifice is the sole reason why you haven't joined her in the afterlife yet. You should honor her,be the person she would have been proud of. The medical field calls your name like a beacon. Maybe this way you can help those you hold dear,help stay on this earth a little longer. What better way to defy death itself than becoming a doctor,a good one to keep everyone healthy, away from it's clutches.

Your grandmother is nothing but happy to have you away for another four years. So with a mechanical smile she pushes you out the door,practically kicking you out. You're 18 so her duty is done finally she can get  rid of you without the pressure of failing her late daughter.

 Medical school is nothing compared to college. There's no time to spare on parties and nights out drinking. There's no time for fun. You put yourself through hell trying to become someone people would take notice of. Someone they are glad to be around. You want to be the type of person people seek and look for amidst a crowd and smile at you once they find you. You want to rid yourself of this curse. This gloomy cloud of sadness and death.

The first year is the hardest. Your days consist of endless classes while during nights you keep your nose buried in mountainous amounts of research books. Your brain is too tired to process it all. You don't sleep enough nor drink or eat enough. You feel like you're on autopilot one morning,mind foggy and eyelids droopy with sleep,when your teacher decides it's a good day to start with dissections. After all you think this is the only good thing about your curse,all the death and gore have given you a stomach of steel. Close to nothing revolts you anymore. It's a little comical and you can help but feel a little empathy for your peers,seeing them turn green at the sight of the cold pale bodies atop the gurney. Running for the door to rid themselves of this morning's breakfast.

School does you good,your heart starts to heal if only a bit by the end of your second year. You don't know when or how but people around you are happy and thriving. Noone has passed in more than a year and you begin to hope that maybe this is it,maybe you are finally normal.And this time when you graduate you're not alone, a group of friends surround you.For once in your life you feel happy.

Happiness doesn't last that long, your grandmother passes on your second year of residency. At her funeral is just you,how sad it must be to leave this world and have nobody be there to bid you farewell. After all these years of her keeping you at arms length it is her the one that's alone,the one person she didn't want around is now the only one who cries for her.

 You loved your grandmother despite everything,because you know without her you wouldn't be where you are. You're starting to earn a reputation amongst the  interns at the hospital. You're more than good at what you do,the best trauma surgeon the small hospital has to offer,so far you haven't lost a patient. You know you're no hero or wizard and you know you can't save everyone but you will try your hardest.

It's a quiet day at the hospital,small accidents that don't require your skills are all the hospital sees for most of the afternoon. Your pager goes off close to 10 pm, an incoming car crash victim is on it's way. Maybe another drunk driver or another street racer,you've seen more than enough car crash victims since you started working here. Nothing prepares you for the gruesome scene before you as they roll the gurney past the main doors. A child no more than 5 lays unresponsive soaking up the multiple cold scratchy blankets under him with blood. The room erupts into chaos and for a moment you freeze forgetting where you are before yelling out directions to your team, now it's not the time to falter,pulling the gurney to the emergency surgery room. The child has multiple broken bones and internal bleeding. The parents seemingly thought driving drunk with their son in the back was a good idea. Now here he lies battered and broken due to his inept father and mother.

There's too much to fix and mend,the amount of blood he's lost on his way to the hospital is too much. Blood transfusions are uneventful,he's femoral artery has been severed by a rusty piece of metal impaled into his tiny leg. There's little you can do,he's far too gone, not even you can save him. You watch the light in his eyes fade and hear the tiny last gasp of air that leaves his little cut up lips before he dies. Your knees feel weak and your body grows cold,you want to drop to the floor and curl yourself into a ball and stay there forever.

But you can't, your moves are mechanical as you declare him dead, you cover his little body with the sheet before going to the sink to wash up. You scrub the blood staining your hands until your skin feels raw, before walking out. Heart in your throat as you tell  his mother you're sorry,she drops to the floor when the words leave your lips,she wails,heart wrenching screams that seem to echo in the empty halls of the hospital. Screams that will hunt you from here on out. It was foolish of you to think you could save anybody. It seems you still cursed after all.

He's been watching you for a long time now. An inexplicable force draws him to you that not even he understands. He knows he has dealt you a great amount of pain and if he wasn't who he is he would feel sorry,he would ask you for forgiveness. This is what he does ,what he's meant to do,it is quite unfortunate for you to be stuck in the middle of it all. He wonders what you must have done in your past life to be dealt such a hellish fate,watching almost everyone you know die. It's mere coincidence at first ,he comes to collect a soul and he sees you there,eyes damp with tears. It feels almost familiar for you to be around whenever he shows up now,and when you're not he finds himself looking for you.

He's been "alive" for longer than anybody else. A few mortals have caught his eye on more than one instance;he comes and devours and leaves, not sticking around long enough for them to start wondering why his touch is always cold,or why they can't hear his heartbeat when they lay their heads on his chest. He's fucked queens before,beautiful women who tell him they love him after one night,fools if only they knew who he really was they would be running for the hills.

There's something different about you though,something that all of his years of knowledge and observing human beings can't explain. There's a weird feeling inside his chest whenever he sees you cry. He remembers the first time he felt it,it was the night after you found your friend in the tub, nobody was witness to the way you crumbled to the floor that night but him. Only he knows how pretty you look when you're broken. He has  seen you at your lowest,he feeds on your grief but there's also something about the way you seem to shine when you're happy,it makes you even more beautiful.

He has tried to stay away from you for a while,but no matter where he is you're always there. Like now as you put on a stoney face as you cover the small child's body with a sheet. The pain you're feeling now Is palpable. He's amazed at the way you hide it for the rest of the day. It is only when you're surrounded by the darkness of your room that you let yourself cry. He watches how you pull at your hair and pound the bed with your fists,asking yourself where you went wrong  over and over again. He watches you until you fall asleep, your pillow is soaking wet from your tears and your eyes are red and puffy. 

You lose the shine he was so curious about. You smile much less these days,you keep to yourself and stop answering your friends calls. You rarely go out anymore,just the weekly required trip to the store for groceries and work. It's an unexpected sight to see you crawl from underneath the covers one night.

The steam follows you as you step out of the bathroom after a hot  shower. He hungrily takes in your body as you let your towel drop on the floor as you rummage through your closet for something to wear. His eyes follow your hands as you rub lotion on your skin and when they dip to rub at your inner thighs his gaze lowers with hunger. It has been a couple of millennia since he felt the supple soft skin of a woman. They way you prance nude around your room as you get ready and  the growing erection between his legs serves as a reminder of how long it has been since he last bedded someone. A couple of hundred of years at least since he last felt the need to be sheathed inside a warm hole. He fades into the night before his need grows larger.

The sound of your voice draws him out from the darkness. You must be crying again,he can hear your wimpers clear as day as he draws near. Crazy how you seem to summon him without even knowing that you're doing so. A mighty being like him,brought down to his knees by a human.

The sight that greets him,would make him lose his breath if he had one. You are crying again,but not in the way he's accustomed to. Your pretty face is partially visible between what's usually well maintained hair,nothing but a bird's nest now. Messy strands are splayed all over the bed and on your sweaty skin. A couple of stray hairs cling to the side of your face he can see from his spot at the corner of your room. They catch at the corner of your mouth,where they're plastered with your drool. Charcoal colored streams of tears run down your cheeks bones,staining your  pristine white sheets with your inky tears. Your mascara isn't waterproof like you thought. You're a mess of snot,tears and slobber. You've never looked more beautiful to him than now.

Face shoved into your mattress by the large hand of the man behind you. A giant looking man with wild red eyes and hair the color of raging flames. He coos at your ear with a honey laced voice completely at odds with the way he pushes you back onto his cock by the hips.

"Such a good girl..there you go you're doing so well" the man grunts as he spreads your ass cheeks apart.

"You're fucking amazing..ghnn you're the best". He tells you,his sweet voice doesn't match the hungry way he looks at you. Eyes glued to your core, the thin skin at your entrance stretched taut by the massive size of his cock.

"Ki...Kirishima..p-please." You sound so broken. Death's brow furrows as he looks on,watching the way this " Kirishima" man finds home in your pussy.

"You are perfect" kirishima moans out,hand at the back of your neck as he arches your back up,making him go deeper.

Death sees the way your body trembles at Kirishima's praise. But he knows it's not entirely from pleasure. Kirishima mistakes your wails for ecstasy,how good he must be making you feel with his cock to have you crying like that. 

Kirishima envelops your body with his,holding onto you tight. His chest sticks to your back and you feel the wetness from his sweat and yours pool at your spine. His hips press yours onto the bed, shoves his dick so deep inside you it hurts. His breathing grows labored and it's not much longer until you feel him stiffen above you. His cock twitches inside your pussy emptying his heavy sack into your womb. Kirishima gives your neck a gentle kiss and slips his softening cock out of you with care.He might have fucked you harder than he intended to.But that is what you asked of him.

"I want you to make it hurt." You had asked him earlier in the night. Looking up at him from beneath those pretty lashes of yours. Eyes shining like the stars under the dim light of the bar you both met at.

"That was so hot babe" Kirishima goes to put his arms around you. He's a cuddler he's always been even if this is just a one time thing. But he gets the message that you're not,when you turn over in your bed wrapping the sheets around you and scooting to the edge to stand up. 

"So I guess that's it then uh...straight to business I see" he sounds crestfallen and you almost feel bad,but you never gave him any indication this was anything more than sex. 

"Uhm..I would really appreciate it if you were gone by the time I come out" You steal one last glance at the gorgeous man sprawled naked on your bed. He chews on his lip,brows furrowed,he's got more he wants to say but you don't give him time to articulate his thoughts. The slam of the bathroom's door tells him you didn't want to hear whatever he had to say; he gets the hint.

The sweat on your skin is starting to cool in the bathroom's stale air ,sending shivers down your spine. Arms braced against the sink as you hear Kirishima rummage in your room for his clothes. It's a scavenger hunt,you had ripped his clothes off and thrown each clothing item all over the place,touched starved,dying to feel all of him without barriers. There's a knot on your throat you can't seem to swallow and your vision blurs with a new batch of tears.

Guilt settles deep inside your chest,having used such a nice guy for your selfish needs. He's the type of guy you take home to mom if you had one. The one who always opens the door for you. He's a gentleman with one of the biggest cocks you've ever seen. But he's not what you need. A pity really.

He's too nice of a guy. Back there in your room,in your bed while he fucked you he misunderstood things. Every praise he moaned out tore at your insides. It made you hate yourself a little more with each stroke of his dick. Because if you truly   'the best' you would have saved that kid's life. But you didn't, he's nothing but a memory now,cold and unmoving beneath 6ft of dirt. You hate 'warmth' now. Hate the warmth of the sun as it rises,signaling a new day. Hate the warmth of the blood that rushes through your veins,reminding you that you're alive and he's not. Hate the hot tears that spill from your eyes,hate the warmth of Kirishima's syrupy cum as it dribbles down your thighs.

It becomes a routine,you wake up, go to work,you go home at the end of the day and eat a small meal and take a shower. 

Death is always Watching from his spot at the corner. Watching the way you spray your body with mouth watering perfumes,lather your skin with floral scented lotions that make your skin shine as if covered by glitter. You dress in scandalous dresses and short mini skirts that hardly count as clothes. Your eyelids are weighed down by the fake lashes you use and your dark circles are hidden beneath layers of concealer.

You look fake,nothing like the beauty he came to grow used to. You were like a flower. Fresh,blooming full of life,despite all the grief you never withered,until now. You're nothing but a shell of who you used to be.

To think he was  jealous of you. Jealous of how full of life you used to be. Jealous of how with your mere hands and knowledge you could give back life in an instant. He doesn't even remember how many souls you snatched back from his cold grasp. For where he is Death and grief,you were life and hope.

He's been watching you silently almost on the daily,he's grown infatuated with you. He watches as you transform yourself with makeup,you turn yourself into a temptress. 

Living death by day,femme Fatale by night.

The many years he's been around he's seen humans deal with grief in many forms. Each one of them is no less destructive than the last. 

Alcohol,drugs,violence,gambling,self harm,suicide and sex.

You do casual drinking but never to the point where you have ended vomiting your guts the next day. Drugs are out of the question, do your job and your skin is bare of any self inflicted injuries. Makes sense that a love starved person like yourself would drown her sorrows with sex.

Meaningless sex with strangers is your poison of choice. You had Kirishima a couple of times after that first night. You stopped calling him when he refused to tie his belt around your throat like you asked. He didn't want to hurt you, he said. He had fucked you slow,held you tight, giving you measured deep thrust while whispering sweet nothings in your ear. That's the first time you've ever cumed while crying. You never called him again after that.

Death always lingers nearby, your own personal shadow,witness to the fast number of bodies added to your list.His eyes never leave you,not even as you lower yourself on your knees,the tender skin getting scraped by the pavement as you suck off your conquest of the night. He looks promising.

He's a tall lean muscle clad man with spiky wild hair. He had whispered such filthy things inside the bar to you.His hand wedge between your plush thighs teasing your cunt above the lace of your thong. He had dragged you soon after to the alley behind the bar you usually frequent. Not bothering to take you home or anywhere with a bed.

A big warm hand wraps itself around your throat as soon as your back meets the wall. He squeezes so tight you think this might be it. He could be the one to make you feel alive again.

"W..wh..what is your name? You rasp as he latches his mouth against your neck.His canines bite down hard and you hear the pop of your skin more than feel the pain when his fangs break the tender flesh. Warm and sticky,a little trail of blood drips down your clavicle. You moan when with a long flick of his tongue he stops the ruby drops from making it further down.

"Katsuki..Bakugou Katsuki" His gravelly voice and his blood stained lips shouldn't turn you on as much as they do. He could be a killer for all you know. Here on this alley he could do whatever he wanted to you and nobody would know. Your body would be found by a homeless person in the morning and you'll be on the news by midday. The thought makes you clench your thighs together.

Katsuki fucks you nice and hard against the wall. Your lacy thong is at your knees, being stretched by the way Katsuki has your legs spread wide. The underwire from your bra is digging almost painfully under your breast where it's pushing your tits up. He doesn't undress you completely and you're fine with that. A quick fuck with a hot stranger might make you forget why you're even doing this in the first place.

Might convince you there's a real valid reason for the way you're self-destructing.

He's rough and demeaning. He calls you a colorful array of degrading words that have your core tightening around his cock.

"You're such a slut aren't cha..hmm? Letting some stranger fuck you like this where anybody could walk by see"

" where anybody could hear the way you're falling apart on my dick" his voice is barely audible under the slapping sound of his thrusts. Each word he spits out is accentuated with a slap to your ass or a pinch to your nipples. The whole thing is too much but not nearly enough at the same time. You wish there was a bed somewhere,where you could push him down and climb on top of him. Settle yourself atop his godly body and straddle his tiny waist with your juicy thighs.

A bed where he could be splayed in as you lower your dripping pussy down his rigid cock. Ride him until your legs shake and your insides feel bruised. But there's not so this will have to do.

A smelly dark alley with your face and tits pressed so tight against the moldy brick wall your nipples are sore from rubbing against its rough surface. His strokes lose their rhythm and his mouth is shut tight. He stops talking altogether as he chases his high. His cock grows thicker at the base and the veins near his tip rub at you deliciously with every outward motion.

The smell of sex is intoxicating,his sweat and cologne mixing into a mouthwatering sweet musk that fogs your mind. 

"Nghh...are you on something? Katsuki asks you as he speeds up. His big hands come to hold the underside of your butt cheeks to spread you up more. Allowing him to bottom out inside your pussy.

You're barely able to moan out a meek 'yes' before you're shoved further into the wall by the heavy weight of his body leaning down on you. Katsuki tucks his head in your neck. He litters the slope of your neck with opened mouthed kisses that make you wetter. His question bounces around in your brain but before you fully register what he said Katsuki is already grunting, shooting hot spurts of cum against your cervix. His blunt fingernails break the skin on your ass,leaving red crescent marks for you to remember him by.

Katsuki is good looking, extremely so. He's blunt and tall and has such a nice cock it should be illegal. But his fox-like eyes are red. A color you've come to hate. The crimson shade of them is a little too similar to the blood you still see your hands covered with once in a while.

Katsuki asks you for your number as you tidy yourself. Pulling up your stretched out thong up your legs. Hoping the flimsy thing will be able to withstand the thick globs of cum until you get home,you doubt it though.The material becomes drenched in cum as soon as it covers your cunt. Katsuki throws a shitty excuse for having cummed so soon. "You have the nicest pussy I've had in a while...when's the last time you did anything uh? You're so fucking thight I couldn't hold it any longer ".

He must really like your neck,his lips not once parting from it  while he speaks. He finally pulls away to kiss you  all while tucking his semi wet dick back inside his pants. You taste the metallic taste of your blood on his tongue and you think you might be sick. A light push of your hands on his chest has Katsuki looking at you. 

You think if you had met him in another lifetime,you could have fallen in love.

His eyes are mesmerizing,beautiful even but you can't help but see the bloody lifeless body of that kid when Katsuki's eyes meet yours.

"You better call me princess..I wouldn't mind drowning myself in you again" he mutters before he kisses you one last time. Throwing you a simple smirk before walking away. Leaving you standing alone in the alley,cold and wet and sexually frustrated.You never do call him.

Death scoffs in the shadows. The man didn't even bother to make you cum. Not once did he touch your silky pearl. If it was him he would cherish that little nub,kiss it and lick it until it hurt.

He understands why you're doing what you're doing. Seeking pain and pleasure with these men,who leave you feeling more empty than before. How many faceless men have drunk the nectar between your legs? To be quite honest he's lost count.

He follows you home like a loyal pup, he doesn't deny his attraction to you now. Curiosity grew into something more. His hunger grew immense the first time he saw every inch of your bare skin.

He's drawn to you like a moth to a flame.

He wouldn't mind burning for you,in you.

You're really are wasting precious time with those incompetent men. Have you even cummed at all since you started your little endeavor? I guess he should be a little grateful to the one called Katsuki.

Thanks to him he's getting quite the show from his usual spot in your room.

You had gotten home,insides still clenching around nothing. Your clit throbbing with need. You hadn't even bothered to shower before digging through your nightstand,pulling out a smooth black silicone rabbit vibrator. You rid yourself of your clothes,your messy thong falling  to the floor with a loud splat. The vibrating sound of your toy and the hawk eye view from where he stands got Death's cock stiffening under his robe. 

He watches with rapt attention as you throw yourself in the middle of your bed parting your legs,giving him a front row seat view of your swollen pussy. He rubs at the head of his cock with the hell of his palm at the same time you part your glistening folds. Setting the vibrator at the highest setting you glide it up and down your slit coating it with your slick before without any hesitation you shove it hard inside your cunt. Death nearly moans hearing you needly cry out when the forked tip of the toy hits your clit. You hold it there,small flicks of your wrist making it go deeper inside you. Your free hand comes to squeeze at your tits,you twist and pinch your nipples all the while spreading your legs even more. Hips moving I'm a wave like motion as you cry and moan.

Death can't help himself any longer,he's watched you get fucked countless times wishing it was him. Growing jealous whenever a new mouth sucks at your tits and a new cock delves  inside your pussy. It should be him, and not them,not a toy either. He could make you feel so much better than any of them. He's learned a thing or two about how to please a woman. He could fuck you so good and throughly you would never dare seek redemption somewhere else. He could ruin you for everybody else. He could become your god.

Inevitably he ends with his cock in his hand. He peels the foreskin back; his calloused thumb rakes over the drooling tip and smears the stickiness down his shaft.Hi eyes never leave your pussy. It's so wet there's a damp spot beneath your ass. He grips his cock harder strokes it a little faster trying to match the speed at wich you fuck yourself with the vibrator. 

He bits his lip in order to silence his grunts,almost giving himself up when he sees the ring of white at the base of the vibrator when you pull the toy out of you. He isn't sure if your pussy is so wet is getting creamy or if that's the left over cum from Katsuki you fucking into yourself.

One would think the black silicone was white by the amount of cum and creamy slick that covers it. The sticky substance drips down your slit and into your hand making it hard for you to keep a good grip on it. You clench your walls around it, preventing it from slipping out as you wipe your hand on the sheets. You scoot closer to the headboard of the bed where the pillows are,propping your upper body on them before continuing where you left off.

You suck at your middle and ring finger and run them down your slit. You shove them both inside your pussy right along with the vibrator. Katsuki's cum acts like lube,wet and sticky on your fingers. You scoop it out and drag it over your clit,flicking it in rapid circles that have choking on moans.

There's a creak at the corner by your window,making you slow down your moves. Through half lidded eyes you look over in the direction of the sound,of course there's nothing there but the feeling of being watched again makes your skin prickle. Your heartbeat speeds up and your eyes search for any sign of movement in the darkness of your room.

For a second you feel scared,think about stopping what you're doing and going to bed without taking a shower. But then you remember Katsuki words as he fucked you in that alley. 

The thought of being watched in such a compromising position doesn't unsettle as much as it should. The wave of arousal that hits you has you closing your legs a little bit, the toy slipping almost all the way out of you. Your eyes never leave the shadows in the corner. You bite your lip and spread your legs. You imagine the shadows taking form. Your mind conjures the outline of a man with broad shoulders standing there watching you fuck yourself.

One hand holds the toy,the tip of it pistons in and out of you while your other abuses your swollen clit. It starts to hurt but you can stop,it feels so wrong imagining someone or something watching you touch yourself. Maybe they're touching themselves as they watch you. Heavy cock in hand,head thrown back against the wall as they stroke it. 

Death wonders what you're thinking about.

Your half lidded eyes stare straight into his,but he doubts you know that. What would you do if he revealed himself to you right now. Would you scream or would you let him fuck you? Maybe he could just take you either way. Nobody would believe you if you said Death had taken advantage of you. Your movements falter and he thinks he's been caught,his hand slows as well,grips the base of his dick and squeezes,he doesn't want to cum yet.

But then your hands speed up,you ondulate your hips as you shove the vibrator in you,you circle your clit with rapid circles. Tears drip down your cheekbones and onto your ears. You never close your eyes,attentive and searching in his direction. He brings his hand up to lick it,taste the saltiness of his pre on his fingers. He covers his palm in spit then wraps it under the tip of his cock. He strokes himself as fast as your fingers circle your nub and then your back is curving off the bed. Your knees meet as you clench your legs. Your spasming pussy sucks the toy deeper inside you as you cum.

"Ghnn ahhh...fuck" the erotic sound of your dragged out moan draws out his own climax. He cups his large palm at the pulsing tip of his dick. He tries his best to catch the thick creamy seed,but it's too much. A few drops end up on your floor. He doesn't worry much; they'll be dried by daybreak. Sweat covers his brow,his cock is still twitching in his hand as he lets himself be swallowed by the darkness.

He thinks the time has come to show you who you really belong to.

Your week after having met Katsuki drags on. The days feel like years,you're practically dead by the time the weekend comes. You are still searching,hunting for somebody that can make you forget.

Saturday you're dressed to kill. A skimpy black dress that clings to your body like a second skin. You choose it simply because it's backless,there's no need for a bra. You hope the way your puffy nipples are still clear to make out under the fabric will help you snare somebody faster. No need for panties either,you won't risk another pair to be ruined like last time. The classic little black dress every girl should own,pretty and sexy,easy to get out of.

You hop bars this weekend. You Don't want to run into an angry blonde demanding why you never called. Nice is an understatement ,Katsuki was great,a good lay. You don't hold it against him for having cummed so soon,you still believe things would have turned out different if there would have been a bed around. You thought long and hard about whether you should have called him or not. You ended up deciding against it. The conclusion being that if given the chance Katsuki could have fixed you for a while,but in the long term once he was done with you,he would have left you more broken than when he found you.

So here you are,a new bar,new faces,new possibilities. 'Devilry' is a fitting name for a place like this ,exactly what you're looking for. You make your way to the bar counter, making sure to sway your hips this way and that, you notice a couple of curious eyes follow you as you go, never leaving your ass until you sit in one of the barstools. Your lips lift at the corners, good,it looks like you won't have to do much but wait until one of the men approaches you. 

Like a Venus trap attracting her next meal you wait patiently, the sweet scent of your perfume saturating the air.

An hour goes by and still nothing. Not a hello or a goodnight. Not even a sleazy pick up line.Zero,none,nada. If anything the bar looks emptier than when you first arrived. Maybe you should have given Katsuki a call.

Another hour passes, there's 3 empty mai tai's glasses in front of you. You're nursing your fourth when you start to drown in self pity. You should have stayed home tonight.

The bar is quiet for a Saturday,places like these are way livelier close to midnight. Nothing but the sound of clinking glasses as the bartender cleans the counter can be heard. A couple sits at a barely lit corner,the man's mouth is attached to the woman's neck, who giggles and tells him to stop; ' somebody might see' she laughs. Please the place is dead, they could sneak and have a quick fuck in the bathroom,God they wouldn't even need to be discrete about it. It's not like somebody is around to see.

The air suddenly drops a couple degrees,a chill runs up your spine,and you question not for the first time your choice of clothing. 

There's that familiar sense that you're being watched again. At first during your years in college you thought about the possibility of it being a stalker. But no matter how much you looked around and searched there never was somebody there. It took a while but you grew accustomed to the feeling,and accepted it.

It makes you feel not so lonely after a while.

A silent companion following wherever you go. 

"Is this seat taken?" 

From your peripheral vision you see a man take a seat next to you before you even answer. And you feel colder for some reason,oddly similar to standing next to the freezers at a supermarket. He smells like nothing at all,just the faint smell of worn leather tickles your nose. He sits by you for a while in total silence. He doesn't strike up a conversation or even looks at you. He simply sips at his drink,oblivious to your inner turmoil. Do you really look that bad tonight? You usually snare a man within the first thirty minutes after you walk into a bar,or club. Your self esteem drops with each ticking minute that passes by in silence.

Soon enough you find yourself sniffling and you bite your lips when you feel them tremble. You close your eyes when they start to feel misty with budding tears. You're not and will not cry at a bar next to a stranger. You won't stoop that low. At least not here,you'll wait until you get home,where you can scream into the void,where you can cry your heart out.

"Though day?" 

He finally speaks,a hint of anger underneath the smooth tenor of his voice . He's still facing forward like you. Trying to find the answers to life at the bottom of your drinks.

You scoff "More like though life". 

You don't mean to sound as harsh as you do when you utter the words. But you do,you think he didn't hear you when he doesn't respond after a few minutes.

"There's no easy life...if you want the rainbow you have to put up with a little bit of rain"

You know he's right,nothing in life is easy,but common isn't this a bit too much? Your life has been nothing but hell on earth. A downpour.

"What do you know" you chug your drink down, flagging down the bartender for another.

"Absolutely nothing" there's a hint of humor in his voice now. It makes your blood boil. You breathe hard through your nose ,and exhale slowly out your mouth. Trying your best not to lose it,not yet.

He wants to play psychiatrist ok, you'll indulge him,it's not like you got anything better to do anyways.

You turn your body towards him on your stool. You pull the hem of your dress down your thighs. Wouldn't want to give him an eyeful, you don't even know where this is going.

He turns on his seat too and when you look up to meet his eyes you swear time stops. You don't think you've ever seen a man as beautiful as him. He robs you of your breath as his eyes look straight through you.

The smell of leather from earlier makes sense now. He's wearing an old worn leather jacket,black shirt and black pants. A lone silver chain hangs loosely at his neck. The color black suits him makes the pallor of his skin stand out. He's big,a mountain of a man with broad shoulders. His white hair seems to glow under the Neon lights signs of the bar. And his eyes grey in color remind you of the dark ominous clouds before a storm. Enticing, beautiful and mysterious.

"Ok,I'll humor you,what do you suggest I do then hmm?" You stare at his nose,there's something about his eyes that unsettles you. He looks at you almost as if he knows you. 

" You could talk about it" He says in a nonchalant manner, bringing his cup to his lips but never drinking from it.

"OK, first off,what is your name? And second,do you really think 'talking about it'

will make me feel better?"

"Natsuo,the name is Natsuo. And you won't know unless you try right?"

He introduces himself as Natsuo,no last name short and simple. He went through multiple scenarios in his head about how he would go about introducing himself to you. He couldn't quite come up to you and say "Hey there I'm the Grim Reaper,God of Death, nice to meet you" You would have thought he was crazy. Even crazier if he told you he had been looking at you since you got here. But to be fair he's been watching way longer than that. Waiting for the opportunity to present itself for you to finally see him,here in front of you and not hiding in the shadows.Finally after all this time you're looking at him. Well at least the version of himself he wants you to see.

It's obvious you like what you see. He's no fool and can tell you're struggling to keep your eyes from roaming his body. It was quite amusing scaring all your other little suitors away. With a simple glance and at his discretion he would allow them to see the real him,the one underneath the flesh suit you're currently drooling over. Like dogs with their tails between their legs,they scrammed. Leaving you alone and defenseless,a lamb ready for the slaughter. It took a lot of effort from his part  to not rip their souls from their bodies the minute their eyes landed on you. But that can be easily fixed later,when you're asleep and satiated;when he's done with you.

"Do you think 'talking about it' it's going to bring back those I have lost?" You whisper. Your fist comes down on the counter hard making your glass stumble. Your heart squeezes painfully and new moisture gathers at the corner of your eyes.

"Nothing can bring them back,they're gone and I'm still here,life is not fair" You should have paced yourself with your drinking. You tend to ramble when under the influence,but you don't necessarily want to pour your heart out to a stranger. That's not why you're here.

"I'm sorry,look I don't mean to be rude but really;but like I said it's been a tough day"

You're tired both physically and mentally,and by the looks of it you'll be going home alone. Another night you'll have to cry yourself to sleep.

"It can't be all bad,can it?" He sounds serious, the humor in his voice gone.

"How do you know"? With your eyes zoned in on your glass, and your heart in your throat you listen.

"We'll I don't, I've always been alone. I don't know how it feels to lack something. I've never experienced loss or grief because I never had somebody I cared about to lose in the first place".

Tears spill from your eyes while you listen to him,you bring your hand up to your face to wipe them clean before he notices. Your heart aches for him,but you also envy him. 

You would give up everything to rid yourself of the awful wretched feeling of sadness.

"But isn't grief a form of love too?"

You look at him quizzically,not understanding what he means. How can an emotion like grief and pain be compared to love?

" Your love for those you care about is still strong and present even long  after they're gone,if that isn't love then what is?"

You really look at him now. He looks no older than you but he sounds wise beyond his age. You wonder for the first time tonight,who exactly is this man. He feels familiar,like if you've seen him before,like you know him too.

"Hmph..are you some kind of doctor..who are you exactly? You wipe your tears ,a small smile tugs at your lips. You never thought of it that way. But he's right in a way,your loved ones,your friends and even the child,everyone you've lost over the years is still here in a sense. As long as there's somebody to remember them,someone to keep their memory alive, they're not completely gone.

"A doctor? Nothing like that..I am merely a traveler of sorts" Natsuo keeps his answer short and cryptic hoping you don't ask anymore questions. Grateful when you don't.

"Well?"

"Well what"? You ask,licking your lips, tasting the alcohol in them.

"Did talking about it make you feel better?" He tilts his head,raising an eyebrow and giving you a pointed look.

You snort. As far as company goes he's not so bad. He's handsome too,you wouldn't mind taking him home. As long as he keeps his mouth shut.

"Ehh..still feel pretty shitty,is that the best you can do?" You rest your chin on the lap of your hand,hiding your smile. Shifting a little closer to him and looking at him from under your lashes.

Natsuo chuckles then,for such a little lost lamb,you sure are feisty.

"No- I could do more,so much more" He holds your gaze,while his middle finger runs along the rim of his glass slowly. 

"But I don't know if you're up for it"

You swallow thickly, your eyes leave his in order to focus on the way he strokes the glass with the pad of his finger. You shift on your seat.You draw your knees together  tuckin your hair behind your ear.

"Try me" you say,bringing your eyes back to his.

Natsuo can't barely contain his glee. 'You poor thing' he thinks as you pay your tab. You have no idea what you've signed up for.

Your apartment is just as you left it,unkempt,things lay around where they don't belong. You scrunch up your nose and turn to look over your shoulder at Natsuo who follows behind you. Navigating through the mess that is your living room.

"Sorry about the mess I uh-"

"Don't worry about it" He interrupts you as he steps over a medical book on your way down the hallway to your room.

"Right,uhm this way" Your jittery for some unknown reason. It's not the first time you've brought a guy over,but there's something about him that feels different.

You can't help but look over your shoulder at him a couple of times before you make it to your bedroom.

Once inside you walk over to your vanity setting your clutch on it. By the time you turn around he's already towering behind you. A couple of inches apart. You look up at him a lick your lips. A small gasp escapes you when he brings one of his hands up to your face. His fingers, a whisper of a touch on your soft cheek are cold. Goosebumps rise all over your body and your nipples harden beneath your dress.

"Do you have any restrictions,anything you're not fond of? Any preferences? A safeword? He cup your cheek and you lean into his touch. You take shallow breaths through your mouth,kissing the heel of his palm when he lifts your face to look at him.

"None...you uh..You're free to do whatever you want with me. Mercy, mercy is my safe word".

Whatever he wants uh?

He cranes his neck bringing his face down and closer to yours. 

There's a storm in his eyes,the gray color of them darkens until they appear to be black. Like a black hole they suck you in,you're unable to look away from them. Even as Natsuos retreats his hand from your face. The sound of his belt buckle echoes in your room as he undoes it. Slowly drags the belt out of the loops at his jeans,he undoes the button and pulls his zipper down. Your eyes grow heavy at the sight of his boxer briefs. And your mouth goes dry when his now loose jeans sink lower on his hips.

"Got it, now be a good girl for me and take off your dress"

Surprising yourself, you do exactly what he asks. You reach back between your shoulder blades to reach for the tiny zipper hidden under the seam of your dress. You pull it down and it sounds so loud. Everything sounds so loud even the sound of your breathing,your heart beats rapidly inside your chest and you wonder if he can hear it. You pull the thin straps of your dress down your arms slowly,not once away from him. Even as he shrugs off his leather jacket.You hold the dress from falling by holding it close to your breast with one arm.

"Show me" Natsuo says with a nod of his head. And if  his eyes are a storm his voice is thunder. It drops an octave,it sounds rich and  masculine. It makes you tremble.

Your dress drops to the floor and Natsuo drinks you up with his eyes greedily. It is not the first time he's seen you naked but you don't need to know that. He's seen you naked countless times already,there's not an inch of your body that he hasn't seen before. Still each and every time he finds himself at a loss for words. Of all the beautiful things he has seen since he came to be, you are by far the most striking.

Natsuo reaches for you. His fingers trace slowly up your sides,up the side of your breasts until his palm cups your mounds. He shifts the weight of them in his hands, lifts them up and pushes them together.

He takes a step and then another,slowly guiding backwards until your bed hits the back of your thighs.

He leans closer to you,his face coming closer and you lick your lips waiting for his kiss. Only for him to turn his head slightly until his lips brush your ear. 

"Lay down,keep your feet on the floor and spread your legs" 

Again you do as you're told,you take a seat on the bed,leaning back and ever so slowly you spread your legs.

This is where he,Natsuo the God of Death,kneels before a mortal for the first time ever.

He takes a hold of your shin and lifts your leg over his shoulder as he peppers it with kisses. You hold your breath anticipating what's coming. You find the slow way he touches you and the lack of words spoken between you two ,insanely sensual. He devours you with his eyes,and no matter how much you swallow the dryness in your mouth won't leave.

Natsuo rakes his hand up your inner thigh,pulling it to the side to spread you more. He settles the wide expanse of his shoulders between your legs. He traces your slit up with his thumb,his cock swelling inside his jeans when he feels the sticky moisture coat his digit. His dick grows harder at the sound of your rapid breathing. It twitches at the sound of your gasp when his thumb puts pressure on your clit. He nips at the tender skin of your inner thigh. Kisses at the sides of your pussy lips. Your hips buck but he holds you steady by the hip with his free hand. He's strong and gentle and the combination is driving you wild.

He uses his thumb to spread your pussy lips. Strings of your arousal breaking as glides his thumb up and down. Much like he was stroking his glass at the bar he now circles your core,dipping the tip of his thumb inside you, gathering your slick and bringing it to your throbbing clit.

Your glistening cunt becomes his favorite flower. The folds of your pussy, the most beautiful blooming petals he's seen,shiny with your nectar. It makes his mouth water.

"Is this all for me..hmm? Natsuo's thumb pulls the hood of your clit up and his nose bumps your nub when he asks. The heady smell of your cunt makes him groan.

He licks a long strip outside your lips and you try to wiggle your hips wishing he would lick you a little bit more to the right.

"I said,if this is all for me"  His teeth nip your skin and you grind yours in pain.

"Yes"

Your jaw goes slack when Natsuo lowers his mouth on you. He flattens his tongue,scoops the wetness up and sucks at your clit all in one motion. You clench your teeth harder together,holding in your voice until Natsuo notices.

"C'mon let it out,let me hear you,I want to hear how good I'm making you feel,understand?" He sucks at your thigh,your blood vessels pop and a red mark appears.

"Tonight you're mine"

All you can do is nod. He looks feral between your thighs. He smirks, he thumbs your clit at the same time he sinks two long fingers inside you. The stretch makes you screech and he grins.

"Good girl" his whisper is drowned by the squelching sounds your pussy makes as he fingers you. Each twirl of his tongue on your clit sends delicious tremors all over your body. He spreads his fingers inside you,spreading you,if you intend to take his cock he has to get you ready. He didn't think you'll be this tight with all the fucking you been doing. Especially not after the last two men you welcomed inside your legs. But you are and can't wait to change that.

The pleasure is too much to bear. You're barely able to keep your eyes open a couple of minutes at a time. Squeezing them shut whenever he dips his tongue low and into your cunt. Licking your walls and his fingers as he continues with his assault. His knuckles rap against your puckered hole with each stroke. Tearing long moans from you.

Natsuo puts a hand under your ass planning on lifting you to change the angle at which he eats you out. He wants to get both his tongue and fingers deeper inside you. But as soon as he does he sees the red crescent marks Katsuki left on you a couple of weeks ago. They taunt him,and suddenly he's not in your room with you anymore.He's hiding in the shadows watching Katsuki plow you into the wall,giving you said marks.

The room turns cold as his mood changes.

He looks down at his fingers as he takes them out of you and in place of your slick he sees the thick white of Bakugou's cum coating his fingers. He turns green with jealousy and he sees red. He will have to pay this Katsuki a visit pretty soon.

"I thought you said you were mine" you hear him rasp close to your pussy. You whine wishing he hadn't stopped. You chuckle, you did say that but it's part of the role play,did he really think you mean it? You play along,hoping he'll put his mouth back on you if you tell him exactly what he wants to hear.

"I am. I am yours Natsuo" your voice drips with honey,but he only pushes away and goes to stand up.

The room spins as Natsuo flips you on your stomach. Perhaps he's not getting his point across,this isn't a game for him,apparently you didn't take him seriously when he said tonight you were his. He'll have to explain himself in a way that you can understand.

Natsuo reaches behind his head,yanking his shirt up and off of him. He pulls his jeans down his legs and steps out of them,throws them somewhere in your room. He grabs you by the hips and yanks you up until your ass is in the air and your face is smothered by the mattress.

The bed sinks with his weight as he settles behind you.

" If you're mine,then what are these?" His fingernails scratch at the indentations and you arch your back more.

"It's nothing,he was noth...ahh" You yelp when he slaps the curve of your ass,not having expected it at all.

"It doesn't matter,I will do much worse" He shuffles closer to you, pulls you back by the hips a little and nudges your legs open a little bit.

"W..what are you doing?" You stammer.

"I'm getting to know you" He says as he spreads your pussy with both thumbs. "Getting to know every inch of you that now belongs to me" 

You choke on a moan when without another word he shoves his entire tongue inside you. It feels longer than when it was lapping at your clit. You grip your sheets hard until your knuckles turn white.

Three thick fingers replace his tongue. He fucks you with them,his pinky bumps your clit and his thumb taps the rim of your ass.

He places small kisses along your spine,on your shoulder blades and behind your neck. You moan and trash and soon you're throwing your ass back onto his hand. And when you're in the precipice of an orgasm he pulls away. Taking his fingers out of you and putting them in his mouth to suck the clean.

Natsuo flips you back around,watching amused as your legs tremble. His cock grows harder at the way you lick your lips and your eyes focus on his hands as he hooks both thumbs at the waistband of his briefs,pulling down revealing a puffy patch of white curls atop the thick base of his dick. A final yank and his underwear falls to the floor. His cock too heavy to stand on its own,hangs between his legs. Precum drips out his tip onto the floor.

He climbs onto the bed, crawls his way up your body ,caging you in with both his arms on either side of your head. He keeps your legs open with his thighs and the hefty length of him settles over your hip. His cock is hot and wet and sticky. You want it inside you so bad.

Natsuo latches his mouth on your neck,the coldness of his lips help numb the pain when he sucks hard at the flesh. He gives you a collar of reds and purples before working his way down. He kisses your sternum,the valley between your breasts. His large hands cups your tits, lifting them up. He curls his tongue around your nipple and sucks it into his mouth. He twirls it around and opens his mouth wide,shoving as much of your breast in his mouth as he can. He suckles hard,smearing your skin and his chin with his saliva. He takes turns sucking at your tits,paying equal amounts of attention to both.All the while his dick continues to poke and drip on your hip.

He pulls away to sit on his shins,shifting closer to you and spreading your legs with his muscly thighs. You whimper when he takes a hold of his dick. It's thick; even his own fingers can circle it entirely. You know it will hurt but right now you're too drunk with lust to care. Natsuo pumps his dick a few times and ever so gently he glides the length of it between your messy folds. 

He smears his precum on your clit with the head of his cock and you moan.

"Ghnn..do you always get this wet baby?" He raps between clenched teeth.

"Tell me who else gets you this soaked"

"Natsuo please…" you mumble incoherently between moans. 

"Shh.. I know..I know..I'm going to fuck you now. I'm going to fuck you so good you'll forget everyone before me"

He lines himself with your core and then without warning sinks half of his girth inside your dripping cunt. The stretch hurts and you think that if he goes any deeper you'll rip at seams.

"Fuck,you're so tight and so wet" he rocks his hips slowly,taking his dick out until the tips is the only thing that connects you both. Spreads the slick on his girth to the rest of his length. He takes a hold of your legs and pushes them out and up.

"Your sweet little pussy was made to take my cock" he grunts out before filling you up entirely.

"This pussy was made for me"

His thrusts are relentless, the force of them makes your whole bed shake. The aggravating creaking sound of the springs of your bed harmonize with the thumping knocks of your headboard against the wall.

You clench your pussy down on him when he thrust up hard,the tip of his dick nudges your cervix and you settle both hands on his abdomen to prevent him from going deeper.Your head is empty all you can focus on right now is the feel of his twitching cock inside you.The numbing cold of his fingers makes your body shiver. And the sweet pain of being stretched so wide makes you wetter.

He looks ethereal between your legs,his hair is disheveled,two  pieces hang loosely over his forehead partially covering his eyes. His mouth hangs open as he pants. The storm in his eyes still raging on.

Natsuo thinks you're his favorite mortal.

The only one to ever take the whole length of him. Your cunt is  so wet and tight but he wants to claim you completely. Your puckered hole looks awfully tempting and he won't let himself cum until he has claimed every hole in your body. 

But before that he needs you to cum on his cock.

You're fuller than you've ever been,near bursting. Your body feels like it's on fire and Natsuo does nothing but fan the flames when he starts rubbing your puffy clit. He leans his weight down on you and you feel small and vulnerable. He holds your gaze as he fucks into you at a steady pace putting just the right amount of pressure down on your silky pearl that has you seeing stars. There's the tightening pull at your navel that tells you you're near the edge. So you lift your hips up and meet his thrusts.

"Yeah, C'mon baby just like that,you deserve this,you've been through enough...fuck...c'mon be my good girl and cum on my cock"

You find yourself sobbing both from pleasure and redemption. Who would've thought an unknown man who you know nothing about would have you reevaluating the choices you have been making as of late. All this self destruct,all this self hate got no room in your body right now. You experience an epiphany as you come apart on his cock. Death is a part of life,and Natsuo was right, grief is love. The fact that we suffer after the ones we love leave this heart is a testament of our love for them and for life. With a cry and tears spilling down your cheeks you cum,your arms hold onto him tightly and your body arches into him and he doesn't flinch in pain as you carve your gratitude in the form of angry scratches on his back.

" There you go baby,let it all go. I got you" Natsuo kisses you sweaty temple as you come down,your body gradually relaxes and your inner walls yield the crushing grip they have on  his dick.

Natsuo rolls both of you over on the bed,sprawling your boneless body over his. His cock is still inside you,hot and throbbing. You want more,you want so much more and now you find yourself really wanting to be his. Your orgasm has the opposite effect on the fast growing flames in your core. You're still sensitive, but that doesn't stop you as you sit up. You straddle him,maneuvering your body so his cock stays buried inside you. A light rock of your hips makes Natsuo hiss,his hands cup your ass, give it a squeeze before they settle on your hips. Helping you grind on him,your puffy clit rubs the drenched patch of his pubes and you whine. You could cum again from just this,but really do want more.

If he says you're his,he might as well claim your body in any way it's possible.  It has been a while,it'll probably suck tomorrow when you try to walk but you threw the last two fucks you gave the minute his mouth latched onto your cunt.

You lift yourself up and off of him. You moan as his dick slips out of you and slaps his abdomen with a wet splat. His pubes shine silver in the dim light of your room with your cum.

He's been so good to you,you want to thank him. Without further you work your way down his body,you map his body with your lips as you go,etching to memory the taste of salt on his skin.

You kiss his belly button,his happy trail tickles your lips as you go lower. You lick at the carved v at his hip,down to the base of his dick and he involuntary thrusts up in the air.

Your mouth is hot when it wraps around the tip of his cock. Hotter than the flames of purgatory. He's never been or seen heaven but he believes it must be something like this. With your mouth wet and hot around his cock. You little nimble tongue cleaning up the mess you made of him. He can help but groan and grip the back of your head with one of his large hands. Pushing your face down on him,until he feels the thigh passage of your throat flex and shrink when you gag. 

"That's it,you can take it,there you go" 

His words of encouragement spurt you on,taking a big breath through your nose,you will your throat to relax. You feel the veins on his cock pulse as you flatten your tongue on his length. 'I've gotta show him how thankful I am" the mantra in your brain as you take him down your throat. It's a suffocating feeling,different from being choked,your nose starts to run and you sniffle with every bob of your head. 

He directs you with the hand at the back of your head,up and down then holds you in place and thrusts into your mouth four,five times before pulling you off of him. Frothy slobber connects you both when you come up for air. Natsuo grips the base of his dick calls you 'his good girl' tells you how good your hot mouth feels as he smears his precum and your saliva all over your chin and cheeks,you kiss the tip with every swipe over your swollen lips.

Natsuo fucks your throat until the roof of your mouth itches. The sheer size of him irritating your throat and making your moans sound husky. He relents,and let's go of your head,you come up coughing and choking on your own spit. Everything from his navel to his mid thigh is wet. 

A mess of your own creation.

You want to kiss him so bad,let him taste himself and you on your tongue. 

But there's a void inside you that only he can fill. So you crawl your way back up his body.

Natsuo sits up and props himself against the headboard, back cushioned by a sea of pillows that smell like your shampoo. 

He meets you halfway, pulling you forward until your breasts are being squeezed by his pecs. Stomach to stomach he can feel every breath you take,can feel the way your lungs expand as he holds you close to him. He kisses the slope of your neck,admiring the artwork his mouth left on you earlier. Blues,purples reds that he wishes would stain your skin forever.

You reach behind you for his cock. It's sticky as your juices are starting to dry on it. You give it a couple of strokes before pushing it between your ass cheeks with the pad of your fingers. You rock on his lap back and forth. The fat globs of precum act as lube,the tip of his dick catching the rim of your ass whenever you lift your hips too high. The wet glide of his length against your asshole is mind blowing,it sends tiny shocks of pleasure straight to your clit.

"Natsuo..I - I need you".

The sultry way you utter those words gets Natsuo harder. Makes his drip a little more.

"Fuck..I need you more" His voice is so heavy with desire you barely recognize it. You need him inside you now. You tangle your fingers in Natsuo's ivory hair and  bring his face closer to yours while grasping his cock at the base,lining yourself with it. Your eyes search his,which are already looking at you. Leisurely sitting down on his dick,you gasp and bite your lip when you feel the sting of the fat head of his cock breach you. It hurts,it hurts when he unconsciously twitches making you lift yourself off of him with a hiss.

"Shhh..You're doing so well..you can do it..remember? You were made to take all of me" 

You try again,this time you hold your breath and push gently when you sit on it. It still burns but once the wet tip of his cock slips inside you the pain is replaced with blinding pleasure. Natsuo's moan is music to your ears.

"Ghhnn..fuck there you go..you take my cock so perfectly" He groans,his lips a whisper away from yours.

He holds your hips in a crushing grip; grinding you down on him.A couple more inches ease their way inside you and you wail. It's too much,he's too big,but you need it all. Your eyes water and tears cling to your lashes when with one deep breath and hard pull on his hair,you sink the rest of the way down,your puckered hole burning with the stretch. Pussy clenching around nothing as he fills you so completely.

'That's it...fuck baby..how does it feel..how does my dick feel inside you tight little ass?"

'Ahh...s'too much,I can't...I can't" 

Natsuo could cum from the heat of your insides alone,but he wants - no he needs you to come again before he does. So he sucks his thumb into his mouth,smothers it with saliva. Completely unnecessary seeing the way your pussy gushes out slick with each clench of your ass,he circles your clit with tight fast circles that have you screaming.

 It would be so easy to pull you down on his cock. But he wants to see the way your features twist with bliss when you take all of him.

"Go ahead baby. Take it. Take what you want,what you need. Take what you deserve"

His words of encouragement send you reeling. You let go of his hair opting to use his shoulders as leverage,and do just as you're told. You take what you want. You fuck yourself on his cock,let yourself enjoy what you been craving. Sex with Natsuo is animalistic, utter abandon as you impale yourself on his cock over and over again. He groans and moans and grips your hips a little tighter when you speed up. You're full in a way you're not used to,you haven't felt whole for a really long time,but here with Natsuo you feel like you've found the piece of you that was missing.

The wet slapping sound of your tights on his lap turns you on. Is obscene and dirty and you're making a mess of your bed but you don't care. You stopped caring the minute he decides to fuck into you. His mouth licks and sucks at your tits as you bounce on his dick.

"Ahh I asked how does it feel?" He mutters and pulls you down hard on his lenght,his mouth too busy suckling your nipples to speak clearly.

"God-sgood..you feel so good" your voice is a needy slur.

He is so deep inside you,hitting a spot that has you seeing stars. You can't do anything but cling to him as he fucks you into the shape of his cock.

"Natsuo i-"

"Go ahead baby cum..cum for me"

He can tell you're close by the way you're panting and the tiny little tremors of your walls around him. He's close too, he's going to give you all he has to offer.

You ride him at a frenzied pace,there's no rhythm to the movements of your hips. No technique needed to have his cock drag on the one spot you need him. There's not a crevice inside you he's not occupying. 

You definitely want his number after this. Maybe you'll ask him to accompany you for breakfast in the morning. You hope he stays the night,you hope he wakes you up at dawn with his mouth on your cunt. Or perhaps you'll rouse him from his deep slumber with wet kisses to his stiffening cock. You want to see how his grey irises change color when the first rays of the sun hit them. You want to hear his voice,raspy from sleep as he tells you good-morning.

You want to get to know him,he said he was a traveler didn't he? You would like to know which places he's been to,what kind of things he has seen on his travels.But before all that you want to see him cum.

So you ride him,ignore the numbing pain in your ass and focus solely on the euphoric way he fucks you.

Natsuo has never known what love is,he's never understood the emotion,all he knows is that it's unexpected and fleeting. But if love is anything like devotion he thinks he might love you. He is a God but he wouldn't mind praying to you,kneeling down to you and kiss your feet if it means he gets to feel the tight clench of your pussy forever.

He thinks he loves the way your warm skin glistens with sweat,he thinks he loves the feel of your nails digging and scratching his shoulders,his chest and his back. He thinks he loves the wails and moans that fall from your lips when he throbs inside you. He loves when your back arches and your body curves against him,when your toes curl and tears spill from your eyes when you unfurl and cum undone on his cock with a broken whisper of his name on your lips.

You trash on top of him,body seizing in ecstasy. And the molten heat of your tight hole hugs and milks his cock,making him impossible for him to hold back. He holds you tight and yanks your face to his. His mouth opens and slants over yours, his tongue wrestles yours into submission and you swallow his groans as he cums. Cock spasming as he empties months of want inside you. Coating your insides with his sticky white spunk.

After, when your body stops shaking and his dick has stopped twitching ,he pulls out. Your body tries to suck him back in as he slips out with a pop. His cum runs thick down your slit and onto his thighs and yours. Natsuo kisses you slowly,he nips and licks at your lips. Maneuvers himself to lay down on the bed bringing you down with him. He tugs the crumpled blankets over your cooling body and wraps his arms around you. With your cheek against his chest and your head tucked under his chin you let sleep take you.

Natsuo watches you sleep in his arms. By revealing himself to you,he has made a big mistake. Like star-crossed lovers you both are destined for doom. For Death has fallen in love with a mortal,and you have been kissed by him.

And nobody escapes the kiss of death.

#natsuo todoroki #natsuo #natsuo smut #mha smut #bnha smut #bnha natsuo #todoroki #grim reaper natsuo #wheel of misfortune #natsuo x f!reader

[angelamajiki]

[ a father’s love ]

PARING: StepFather! Aizawa x StepDaughter! Reader

SYNOPSIS: Your stepfather took you in with open arms after the death of your mother. Depression gets the better of you and Shouta promises to take care of you. But just how far is he willing to go to see it through?

CW: yandere, pseudo-incest, mentions of stalkers, mentions of death, depression, mental health issues, pregnancy, noncon, somnophilia, bondage, daddy kink, praise kink, afab reader

AN: my first collab with the bnharem server!! the theme was roommates (i ran with the term loosely) read the other member’s takes here! mind the tags as usual and enjoy!! :)

The death of your mother shattered you. A freak accident with a villain attack had her crushed under rubble from a collapsed building. Your stepfather, Shouta, suggested that you move back home with him after her funeral. As tempting as the offer was, you were determined to make it through University and handle yourself like a big girl, an adult ready to take on the world. You had only moved out a few months before her death, independence calling to you after you received your college acceptance letter.

A few months and an eviction notice later, you crawled back to him, the only remnants of your family. Open arms enveloped you, bringing you solace and comfort in your dire time of need. You felt like a child, bundled up in his arms as you sobbed, screaming at the cruelty of the world. Depression hit you hard and deep, flunking you out of your classes and preventing the bills from being paid. You had no other alternative but to accept his offer.

“You time and space to grieve properly, kitty. The most logical thing to do is take a breather.”

Ah, kitty. He always knew that was your favorite nickname, calling you that ever since you were a little girl. He also always knew just what to say. Patting your thigh, he stood up and extended his hand to help you up as well.

“Let’s go step up your room. I'm sure you need a nap after that cry.”

He gave a wrinkly smile before disappearing down the hall.

Skeptical at first, you were unsure if it was the right move to return home. You needed time to figure out what you wanted, what you needed. A break from life would give you a chance to sort things out, right? And Shouta was more than prepared to use this opportunity to show you he would be all that you needed and more.

The man was nothing short of doting and generous. A shoulder to cry on, a good laugh, a friend, a father. He helped you piece your broken soul back together. Whenever he wasn’t patrolling, he was at home with you. When your depression seemed to drown you, Shouta was there to pull you out of the water. He made sure you ate, helped brush your hair when it was matted, and got you into clean clothes daily. It was the small things that he did for you that helped your demeanor change.

—

“Up and at ‘em, kitty. Breakfast is on the table.”

You grunted, burrowing deeper into your bedding. A chuckle reverberated in his throat as he rubbed your lower back soothingly.

“C’mon, I know you haven't been eating lately. Let's get some food in you. I made your favorite.”

—

But as time passed, his help could only do so much. Your mental health continued to dwindle, plummeting into the ground when her first anniversary passed.

—

Gentle strokes of a brush smoothed through your tangled hair. Shouta was kind enough to help you when your head got matted into a rat’s nest, being incredibly tender and gentle with you. Tears streamed down your face, broken hiccups and sobs bubbling from your chest. You were trying to hold it in, he could tell. A sweet kiss was placed on the back of your head as he enveloped you in a comforting embrace, letting his hands sip down to your hips to rub circles in.

“Let it out, kitty. I'm here for you.”

He was the only one that was.

—

The domestic dynamic the two of you fell into hardly felt like one of parent and child, but more as two lovers sharing a home they built together. The pair of you even adopted a new cat together in hopes of cheering you up. You can't say that you disliked it. It felt...nice to have your presence matter when it was a struggle even to be alive. Shouta always checked in on you; whether he sent you an update from work or shared a cat video. He really was the best father anyone could hope for, even when your depression got the worst of you.

Your depression started to manifest itself in many forms. Lately, you’d been having vicious nightmares, only to wake up with an unknown stickiness on your thighs. Recalling the night terrors was something that evaded you, but you knew you were being violated. Perhaps your body wet itself from the fear of the dream? It was the only logical answer you and Shouta could come up with. Depression sure had funny ways of physically manifesting itself. You thought that would be the end of it, putting the situation behind you.

It was until it started happening nightly. The nightmares only seemed to prolong themselves, worsening to the point where you could vividly dream of being assaulted. Your underwear was now soiled too, and it definitely wasn’t your doing. Fearing you had a stalker, Shouta installed brand new locks on your windows and doors, hoping to soothe you. He was a Pro-Hero, so he certainly had the means and know-how to protect you. It put you at some ease, but it continued to the point where your stepfather decided sleeping in the same room would help you feel safer.

It didn't.

The nightmares themselves only seemed to get worse, but Shouta was right there to comfort you as soon as you woke up shouting in a panic. He would take you into his arms and hold you until you fell back asleep. You felt like a child. But he didn't judge you.

After a month of strange behavior, the stress caused you to gain some weight. Visiting a doctor was your best bet to get an answer. He took you to your appointment, letting you hold onto his arm for comfort as his hand rested comfortably on your thigh. The two of you were mistaken for a couple by a nurse. What a strange, intimate relationship the pair of your tangled yourselves in.

The doctor ran some tests and had your blood drawn. The results were to be emailed to you in a few days. Shouta calmed your nerves with a tender kiss to the forehead, reassuring you that everything would work itself out.

The notification for the email came in a few days later while Shouta was at work and you were lounging in the living room. Patience was never your strong suit, so you took his laptop from the coffee table, only to open up to a camera feed. Coming from your room.

The blood in your veins ran cold as you looked into the memory drive of the feed. Maybe he set up a camera to see what was happening during your nightmares? That had to be it; how could you assume the worst of your sweet dad? The only saved footage to be found was him fucking himself deep inside of your sleeping body.

“I see the results are in.”

You nearly jumped out of your skin at the sound of his voice. He always had a habit of sneaking up on you.

“What-” You couldn’t find the words to describe your anger. “What the fuck is this!”

Disgust. Rage. Dispair.

Your only family left had turned against you.

“You were upset at the loss of your family, kitty. So I decided to give you a new one.”

He couldn't possibly mean…

“You’re pregnant.”

Bile rose to your throat as you gagged at the mere thought of his words. Pregnant? With your father’s child? His betrayal cut you more profoundly than your mother’s death ever could have. But it couldn't have made more sense—his touches, his comfort, sleeping in your room, the nightmares that plagued you.

“You’re sick!”

You shouted, tears streaming down your face as you continued to pummel insults and nasty spats at him. You lost your voice by the end of your rant, panting and heaving while sweat beaded your brow. He just stood there, taking everything in with a grain of salt.

“I understand, kitty. I really do. I should have been straightforward with my intentions.” He confessed.

The capture weapon around his neck snagged you the second you moved on the couch.

“Let daddy make it up to you. I'll make everything better for my pretty little kitty.”

It secured you to the sofa, keeping your legs spread and your hands behind your torso. On his knees in front of you, Shouta was ready to serve his apology with his tongue. Panties and sweatpants were ripped at the seams before being tossed aside.

He caressed your thigh with a delicate touch, pressing his lips to the other side. A kiss was pressed to your clit before long slow strokes of a hot tongue lavished it in attention. He kneaded your thighs gently all the while, humming as he began to alternate between licking and suckling on your sensitive nub.

Your head thrashed about in your binds as you shouted in protest.

“S-Stop it right now! Get off of me, dad!”

In a desperate plea, you hoped that hearing you call him dad would force him back into reality. Instead, he groaned and took a breath.

“Call me that again, kitty.”

A hot mouth sealed over your wet cunt as he dove his tongue between your folds while sucking with his lips. The pleasure was undeniable; his tongue was too experienced to ignore how his ministrations made you feel. Toes flexing and curling, you cried out of a mix of frustration, disgust, and humiliation as he continued to work at your dripping hole. This pig was getting off on the fact that he was fucking his daughter. It made your soul shatter all over again, the one he worked so hard to rebuild.

You continued to sob, moans now added to the mix, as he worked a finger inside of you. He made a curling motion after plunging in knuckle deep. A pleasured shout broke between your cries.

“I'll take it that’s your sweet spot, pretty girl? Good to know.”

He continued to abuse that spot, slowing down just a touch with his tongue to drag out the ride to the peak. Can't have you coming too fast, now can we? Your moans and whimpers spurred him on even more as he wiggled another finger inside you.

Removing his mouth, he focused on stretching and loosening up your tense body. You were lax when sleeping, so sliding in was a pinch with his size. But now he has to deal with you thrashing and struggling against his bonds. Disgust and pleasure churned together in your gut, feeling the incoming orgasm approaching hard and fast. Shouta felt you clench around his fingers and added a third, using his thumb to swipe your clit back and forth. With a final cry, you came on his fingers with a shout as your body convulsed in the capture weapon. You found what little peace you could in your short-lived post-nut clarity, taking a moment to breathe and center yourself.

Your father gave you no such chance to do so, immediately springing his cock free and rubbing the tip against your clit to gather your wetness. A chuckle sounded in his throat as he watched you twitch even more from the stimulation that was starting to border on being painful.

“Relax, kitty. Being tense won't do you any good.”

He slowly nudged his cock into your hole, groaning as he took his time bottoming out inside you. Praise spilled from his lips as he let you adjust, feeling your pussy clench tight around him. Good girl, good kitty. He shushed your sobs, smoothing the tears off of your face with the pads of his thumb. Murmurs of good girl and taking me so well slipped your senses. The pace he set was slow and deep, letting you feel every agonizing inch of his rather impressive dick.

Your flowing tears were kissed away as he proceeded to thrust faster and deeper. The sound of skin slapping against one another filled the room, even above your now weakened crying and whimpers. Sweat beaded on your brow plastered your hair to your forehead. His breath was warm against your cheek, his moans of pleasure so close to your ear forced you to stay in the moment.

Shouta swallowed your cute noises with a kiss, cupping and stroking your cheek with his right hand while his left pinned your hips down into the cushions. He did his best to stop your tears, pushing the hair off of your sweaty face. A few minutes passed filled with kisses, cries, and deep thrusts before he maneuvered you to be seated in his lap. Back pressed into the cushions, he lazily thrust up into you, hands grabbing your now bouncing ass. His thumb made its way back to your clit as he rubbed it in small circles, grinning at your cries of pleasure that you couldn't hold back. Dark brown eyes fluttered shut as he groaned and moaned proudly, increasing the speed of his thrusts as he felt himself getting closer and closer.

He usually lasted longer while you were sleeping; he does have quite a bit of stamina from his hero work. But something about seeing your flushed, torn face, hearing your whimpers and cries, he can't help but cum rather quickly for his own record. The pleasure was manifesting itself within you again, a second orgasm hitting you like a speeding truck as you gasped and choked for air at its intensity. Shouta was soon to follow, grunting and moaning loudly as he filled your cunt with his spend. He rode out both your orgasms, relishing in the silence between the two of you. It was better than hearing your broken, choked up wails.

It was wrong; he knew that. Breaking your trust, violating you, sabotaging your personal life, he couldn't help but be selfish with you. But he always knew what was best for you, always knew how to take care of you when you couldn't.

Foreheads pressed together, he caught your sagging body against him in a warm hug, stroking your hair when you started to sob uncontrollably.

“Let it out, kitty. I'm here for you.”

#yandere shouta aizawa #yandere shouta aizawa x reader #yandere aizawa #yandere aizawa x reader #shouta aizawa x reader #shouta aizawa #aizawa x reader #aizawa #yandere my hero academia #yandere boku no hero academia #yandere mha #yandere bnha #my hero academia #boku no hero academia #mha #bnha #yandere x reader #yandere

[wlwreader]

Dancing with the Devil

A/N: Just a little preamble before you start reading. This Natalia is pretty different in the way she treats reader in this fic compared to my other fic for a few reasons(Devil’s Advocate. Not a necessary read for this one, but if you enjoy this fic you’ll definitely enjoy that one) I had kind of come up with like I guess my own little world. So I considered the black box+collar from my other fic to be a marriage proposal of sorts. You’re pretty much her soulmate, in that you’re souls are bound in a way after you’ve put the collar on. Yes in my world succubi and incubi can only take one mate, so you’re her personal juice box for eternity and she’s allowed to feel some type of way

Summary: You’re back where you belong.

Warning: Somnophilia, Dacryphilia, Voyeurism if you like squint real hard, Overstimulation, Ruined Orgasm, Oral Fixation again if you squint but not as hard, Kitten/Pet and Mistress calling, oh and uh Tail Fucking

WC: 5.2K+

Pairing: Succubus!Natasha Romanoff x Fem!Reader

Days pass in a blur after that night, Natalia having burrowed her way into your every thought, forcing you to continue your life on autopilot. Even in your dreams she haunts you, mind plagued with visions of gleaming red eyes and that devilish grin that always sends your pulse racing (for reasons you refuse to admit to yourself). You try desperately to convince yourself that there has to be a reason she won’t leave your mind, that she must’ve put some kind of hex on you or maybe it’s some lingering effect from being railed by a succubus, anything other than you wanting her. You can’t want her, not when the only way you’ll ever be able to see her again is becoming some sort of sex slave...forever. In any other context, being someone’s fuck toy for the rest of your life would be nice, might even be considered ideal, not having to worry about your financial state and the promise of good sex. But forever with an immortal being? There’s really only one way for you to interpret that and eternity is a terribly long time to be someone’s personal plaything...right?

You shouldn’t even have to try to convince yourself that it’s something you don’t want. No matter how sinfully good she is with her mouth or how she seems to know all the right angles to hit just the right spot that leaves your toes curling and your eyes rolling towards the back of your head or how-

You flop back onto your bed with a groan, trying to stop that train of thought from progressing any further before you’re doomed imagining all the things you want Natalia to do to you for the rest of the night. A sigh slips past your lips as you roll on your side, ready to force yourself to fall asleep, when your gaze lands on the small black box that still rests on your bedside table and all your dirty thoughts come rushing back to the forefront of your mind, followed by a faint throbbing between your legs.

A hand trails subconsciously down to the apex of your thighs, eyes falling shut when you find your slit, slick with want. Your mind wanders from scene to scene, each wildly different from the last, but all of them featuring Natalia. Your breath slips past your lips in soft pants as you circle your clit, free hand tracing a path up your abdomen to grope your breast for a moment before you’re tweaking your nipple, back arching with a quiet moan.

Your fingers dip down, sinking into your leaking hole, when you hear a shuffling noise followed by a soft click. Immediately, you freeze, eyes wide as you sit up and scan your dimly lit room. No one...not a person or creature in sight. The windows are closed and still looked to be locked after squinting through the darkness of your bedroom for a long second and your door doesn’t seem to have been opened. You look around your room again, hand reaching out in the dark for any kind of semi-heavy object you could use as a potential weapon, when it meets the now open top of the box sitting on your nightstand.

Was she here now? Watching you? Have you been on her mind just as much as she’s been on yours?

A shiver runs up your spine, a smile teasing the corners of your mouth at the thought as you sweep one last look around your quiet bedroom. You reach for the lamp on your bedside table, turning it on while you eye the lacy black collar proudly on display resting inside the box before gently scooping it out, the small bell attached to the front ringing and clinking against the name tag. Your fingers trace over the red stitching lining the top and bottom, then down to tug on the matching red bow and around the back to undo the small ribbon that ties the two ends together.

You pause for a brief moment, reconsidering, but the throbbing of your clit is far louder than that little voice of reason trying desperately to coax you back to thinking clearly and so without any further hesitation, you wrap the collar around your neck and secure it in place. 

The silence of your bedroom is almost deafening as you wait...and wait…..and wait, til the ache that’s taken home between your legs expands, enveloping you whole.

The bell on your collar rings with your movements as you lay back, the sound muffled by the thrumming of your heart pounding in your ears. You ignore your hurt feelings (whatever feelings those may be) and focus on the wetness that’s gathered at the apex of your thighs, fingers fucking into yourself long into the night until you fall asleep, your hand tucked into your bottoms and the collar still resting around your throat.

Your dreams are more vivid than usual, almost as if replaying the memories and sensations of your night with Natalia. Images of her head buried between your legs, the vague feeling of hands gripping your hips, soft hair tickling the insides of your thighs and the warmth of a mouth teasing your slit has you squirming in your sleep. 

The throbbing of your clit slowly lulls you awake, the feeling of fingers pushing into your heat pulling a shaky, high-pitched whine from your lips while your hands subconsciously reach down to tangle in soft waves (your fingers brushing against something famillarily ridged and curved has your heart fluttering happily) and pull that heavenly mouth back towards your clit. 

A tittering laugh has you finally dragging your eyes open and you’re blessed with a view of a grinning Natalia, pointed teeth on display and her crimson eyes twinkling with amusement.

“Did you miss me, kitten?” The words come out low and muffled, Natalia not waiting for an answer as she presses her face back in towards your cunt and dragging one of her fangs gently across your clit.

Your back arches, bell on your collar jingling softly as you throw your head back into the pillows beneath you, an intense orgasm rushing through you without warning, your clit unexpectedly sensitive. Fuck...just how long has she been buried between your legs before you were dragged from your dreams?

Muscles relaxing, you land on the soft black silken sheets with a blissful sigh, her husky chuckle ringing pleasantly in your ears. Your hands fall away as Natalia trails burning kisses across the insides of your thighs, her breath cooling your slick and sweat covered skin when she speaks, “It’s about time you woke up, pet.”, her lips continue their path, bruises slowly blooming beneath her touch as she sucks and nips along your hips, up your stomach to trace the shape of your breasts before she mouths at the stiffened peaks, teeth capturing your nipple and tugging. Air hisses out past your lips as her fangs dig into your sensitive skin, your hands finding her fiery hair again. The onslaught of kisses continues up your throat until she pulls you into a heated kiss, her tongue slipping past your lips and you can’t help the whimper you let out when you taste yourself.

Natalia pulls back, air fanning across your face from her huff of quiet laughter as you chase her lips, eyes still closed. When you meet her gaze you’re almost shocked to see how vibrant the red of her irises are, as if they’re almost glowing, until your gaze sweeps up to admire her obsidian like horns, reminding yourself that she’s a succubus and she IS feeding off of your sexual energy. For the first time, you wonder what kind of power she holds.

She shifts to straddle you, the feeling of her hot, dripping cunt resting against your stomach pulling you out of your thoughts. Your hands reach out to grip her bare thighs, but a raise of her eyebrow has you dropping them uselessly at your sides as you’re reminded who’s in charge. She shifts again, hips subtly rolling with a breathy sigh falling from her mouth before speaking, “Although I can’t really complain about you sleeping so long. Not when you taste so…”, she pauses, tongue snaking out to drag across her plush lips, “Devine.” she practically purrs, eyes hooded while the corner of her mouth pulls up into that devilish smirk that has your pussy clenching.

Natalia’s hips rock down again, dragging her clit across your stomach before she leans back, hands braced above your knees as she starts grinding down in earnest, eyes falling shut. You’re enraptured by the sight, eyes flitting from her beautiful face, delicate features scrunched in pleasure; down to her heaving chest, perky breasts and pebbled nipples prominently on display. Slowly, your gaze falls further down along her body, taking in every inch of smooth flawless skin and soft curves, your mind consumed by thoughts of how utterly perfect she is, as if she were sculpted by god themself, before your eyes land on the trail of slick coating your stomach and Natalia’s puffy, leaking cunt while her hips continue to rock against you. You can practically feel your mouth water at the sight, an involuntary whine slipping past your lips as you realize just how much you crave to finally taste her, to please her.

Her breathy laugh has your eyes shooting back up to meet her vivid crimson stare, cocky smile on display when she teases you,

“What is it kitten? Are you not enjoying the view?” 

You can’t stop the heat shooting to your face as you try to remember how to actually speak, mouth moving before your brain can form an actual sentence and tripping you up on your words. She laughs again at your stammering, clearly amused by her toy.

“I..I wanna-- c-can I taste you, Mistress?” desperation seeps through your voice as you lie underneath her, fists balled in the sheets trying hopelessly to fight the urge to reach out and touch her.

Natalia grins, pearly fangs catching the light and drawing your attention, just in time to watch her tongue flick out to wet her plush lips. The way her red gaze takes you in sends a shiver down your spine and you can’t help the way the blood rushes to your face or the way your heart stutters in your chest.

“Please…” the word leaves your mouth in a whimper and Natalia’s eyes soften just a tad, though her wicked smirk is still painted across her lips.

She hums, hands moving from the tops of your thighs to run up along the sides of your chest; lithe fingers dancing across your ribs to cup your breasts and tweak your nipples, pulling a whine from the back of your throat, “I suppose I could put that pretty little mouth of yours to work finally,” her hands continue their path, nails tracing up the column of your throat and toying with tag on your collar. She’s watching you intently, eyes soaking in your flushed and disheveled appearance, thumb dragging across your bottom lip. Your mouth parts and in a trance-like state, you nip the digit, tongue teasing the tip of her thumb before enveloping it in the warmth of your mouth. Natalia’s pupils seem to dilate further than before, the inky blackness slowly swallowing the red of her irises. You watch as she shakily exhales and the pride that swells in your chest has your tongue working her finger just that much more, eyes falling shut as you start to lose yourself in the motions. The squeeze of her strong thighs as she grinds her heated cunt harder against your stomach reminds you of the question you had just asked and you look up, your gaze meeting nothing but black as she stares back at you.  “Would you like that, pet?”

The words leave her mouth in a breathy exhale and she hasn’t even finished speaking before you’re rapidly shaking your head yes, eyes trying their best to convey how much you ache to serve her. You watch hungrily as her soaked cunt nears your face, Natalia’s hands tangling in your hair and tugging your head to meet her wet folds.

“Then make that greedy mouth useful.”

You don't have to be told twice, not when you’ve been plagued with dreams and fantasies of her soaking your face in her cum, and eagerly your tongue flicks out to trail along her puffy lips a few strokes before parting them with deeper licks. She sinks down with a hum, pussy pushing further into your mouth as her nails scratch at your scalp. The taste and sensation of her cunt dragging along your tongue is almost enough to have your eyes rolling to the back of your head. You’ve never tasted someone so sweet and you can’t stop yourself from gripping her thighs and thrusting your tongue into her quivering hole with a greedy groan, trying to lap up as much of her wetness as you can. 

The heady moan you’re rewarded with sends a pulsing heat straight to your clit. Her hands tighten their grip in your hair, hips slowly rolling along your mouth as you reverently devour her cunt, eyes closed in pure bliss while your tongue fucks her leaking hole.

You can hear Natalia’s heavy breathing above you as she uses you for her pleasure, the soft moans cascading from her parted lips are interrupted by a gasp when you finally manage to pull yourself away from the never ending slick dripping from her cunt to latch your mouth around her neglected clit. You suck, tongue lashing out to tease the swollen bud before she’s bearing down on you with a loud keening moan, powerful hands holding your head in place as she grinds her clit against your willing mouth.

“Fuuuck, that’s right kitten,” her rasping voice is shaky and your cunt throbs, knowing you’re the reason why, “eat my pussy like it’s your last supper.”

Her words pull a whine from the back of your throat, the vibrations shooting straight to her sensitive clit and the sound that leaves her mouth has you seeing stars as you cum; thighs squeezed together, pussy clenching around nothing as you shudder and moan under her. 

Who knew demons could make such desperate pitiful noises?

Your orgasm doesn’t go unnoticed, if the tail teasing your twitching hole and the trembling laugh above you are anything to go by.

“Enjoying this, are we?” You don’t have to open your eyes to know she’s smirking, you can hear the smugness in her voice even as it wavers with every roll of her hips. “If I knew how ea-” she cuts herself off with a deep rumbling moan as you easily sink two fingers into her wet heat, digits immediately curling up to search along her walls for the spot you know will reduce her into a quivering, moaning mess.

Her tail pushes into your soaked slit as a dragged out yes hisses out past her teeth. The way Natalia’s hips buck against your fingers and mouth fucks her slick tail into just the right spot inside your fluttering cunt and soon your muffled moans join hers in a sinful symphony as she takes what she wants from you.

“Oh, you’re going to make me cum, pet.”

The words renew what little willpower you have left and with great effort, you stave off your impending orgasm to force your eyes open and focus on fucking your Mistress. You’re blessed with a sacred sight. Her back is arched beautifully, pushing her hungry cunt as far into your mouth and fingers as she can and putting her perky, full breasts on perfect display for your greedy eyes. Your free hand is reaching out without a thought and you watch as Natalia’s mouth falls open, freeing her bottom lip from between her fangs, while her brows furrow and her nose scrunches up in pleasure. You squeeze her tit, appreciating the softness under your palm and watch as her chest stutters, her breath faltering for a second before picking up again. Experimentally, you drag a nail against her pebbled nipple then take it between your fingers and pinch. 

Her nails dig into your scalp as she smothers her pussy against your face til you can’t breathe and you’re sure you’re going to die, suffocating happily between her thighs when she freezes on top of you. You feel the tell tale signs of her upcoming orgasm when her walls flutter around your digits, desperately trying to pull them deeper and eagerly you drag your fingers from her quivering hole to join your other hand in their ministrations so that your tongue can once again taste the saccharine-like slick. The thighs encasing your head tighten as your tongue plunges and curls in her cunt until Natalia is gasping out a moan and her cum soaks your face.

If you thought her pussy tasted heavenly, you’re sure her cum is the nectar for the gods. Your eyes roll back as you lap at the mouth watering wetness leaking from her, your own cunt spasming as her tail frantically fucks into your sopping hole until you're sure she’s hitting your womb with every thrust. 

Natalia has stopped shaking atop you, her hands and thighs loosening their hold around your head but she doesn’t make a move to get off you. In fact, her hips are rolling along your mouth again as you practically sob against her cunt from the intense pleasure between your own legs. Your hands grip desperately at her hips and thighs, eyes squeezed shut as you futilely try to chase your orgasm. You’re so close, god, you’re so close, but the edge stays just out of arm's reach and you can’t stop the tears gathering in the corners of your eyes, nor can you stop them from falling, disappearing into your hairline and rolling down to join the mix of slick and cum coating your face as you cry and writhe pathetically under your her.

“You cry so cutely for me, kitten.” She purrs, “Let Mistress see those pretty, tearful eyes.”

The wild thrusting of her tail has died down to a slow crawl, dragging you away from the peak you were so pitifully chasing and so, with a whimpering sniffle, you dutifully open your eyes to meet Natalia’s pitch black gaze.

You can see the shiver of pleasure that runs through her body as you stare up at her with sad wet eyes, a shudder of your own wracking your body at her hum of “Good girl.” when you give her sensitive clit and cunt small kitten licks to clean up the rest of her cum. Her hands brush away any of your wayward hairs from your face before she drags a thumb along your temple, collecting your tears on the digit. You watch as she slowly brings her thumb to her mouth, gazes locked as her tongue slips past her lips to teasingly lick the salty liquid away with a quiet moan. 

Your pussy clenches around her tail at the sight, her tail twitching inside you in response and briefly you wonder if she can actually feel pleasure fucking you with it before you’re completely pulled from your thoughts as her pace starts up again.

With a sigh, she drags her cunt away from your soaked mouth and immediately your loud moans fill the once quiet room. Her body slides pleasurably against yours as she moves to lie atop you, chests pressed together and legs tangled as her tail continues to pump into your soaked hole. The tip of her nose trails your collarbone then up along the column of your throat, breathing in the scent of sex. Your hands tangle in the soft fiery waves of Natalia’s hair as she kisses above the collar resting against your neck before sucking the unblemished skin between her lips to bite and mark and claim and fuck your pussy just gushes at the thought of being her’s.

You lick your lips, a whine pulling from deep within your chest at the taste of your Mistress still coating your face, bringing you just that much closer to the edge. The appendage fucking into you twists and writhes in ways you’ve only ever felt her tongue do, but the added thickness of her tail has you hurtling towards climax, head thrown back, collar jingling as you press your neck further into her greedy mouth.

Your eyes are screwed tightly shut and your pussy quivers painfully, walls sore from the constant fluttering, and just as you start to crest the peak, her tail slips itself from inside you and your hole clenches miserably around nothing while you cum. You’re already crying again when your body relaxes, sobs bubbling past your lips at the ache between your legs and the still pent up frustration your ruined orgasm failed to rid you of.

Natalia pulls away from your bruised neck to admire her work, mouth parted in quiet awe at the sight of her cum covered, sweat soaked, crying pet; and reverently, she kisses along your jaw and cheeks, tongue lapping at the mix of cum, slick, and tears that coat your face, whispers of how pretty you look when you cry gracing your ears.

She leans back when she finishes cleaning your face of her mess and your eyes finally open again when nothing happens after, tears still trailing slowly along your temples and disappearing into your hair as you sniffle, just to find her watching you keenly. Only when your gazes meet does her tail dip down between your legs to sink into your poor sensitive cunt once more. It’s gentle in its movements, but that doesn’t stop the fresh wave of tears from welling up in your eyes as the pain ever so slowly starts to outweigh the pleasure. 

Your eyes squeeze shut, the tears that gathered there cascading in rivlets along your face, as the tail brushes along your walls, pressing into your g-spot. You can hear the click of Natalia’s tongue in disapproval as she tuts you.

“Keep your eyes open for me, kitten.” 

Fuck her voice is so sultry and rasping and you can’t stop your cunt from tightening painfully around the thickness inside of you at the sound. Her tail thrusts a little harder, hitting something inside you and pulling a choked sob from the back of your throat.

“Don’t make me repeat myself.” The words are growled into your ear and your eyes fly open. You can feel her tail twitch inside you again while she takes in your whimpering cries, tearful face, and sad desperate eyes. She plunges her tail deep within you again and you wail out in painful pleasure, eyes forced shut as your head tilted back into the bed.

There’s a low trembling groan from above you and before you have the chance to open your eyes once more, Natalia’s mouth is on yours, swallowing every whine and wail as her tail fucks into you deeply, twisting to hit every pleasurable, painful spot inside your pussy. Your hands tighten in her hair, holding her against you while you sob into her mouth, and your legs untangle from hers to wrap around her waist.

You’re close again, so painfully close and you don’t know whether you want her to finish you off or ruin your orgasm again, not when you know both options are going to hurt, but you don’t get to choose. You never had an option in the first place. Your Mistress knows just what she wants from you and she’ll take it, no matter what you say.

“I want you to cum for me.” She’s trembling, pressed against you, voice thick and shaky with pleasure and you nod frantically. She buries her face against your chest, mouth marking every available inch of skin within her reach. Your crying is louder without her tongue to muffle you and with every sniffle and sob, you can feel her tail jerk inside your trembling cunt. Natalia latches her mouth onto one of your nipples, pointed teeth burying into sensitive flesh and your fingers digging into the base of her horns as you cum with a keening wail. 

You can feel more than hear her cum with you as her moans ring through your chest, her tail squirming in your aching hole. Your pussy bears down on it, nails scratching at her scalp and catching on the ridges of her horns trying desperately to stop the painful pleasure wracking your body. The thickness inside you thrashes when your fingers scramble along the ribbed protrusion on her head and your sluggish mind slowly puts the two together, hands dropping to clutch at the nape of her neck and drag her into a sloppy kiss.

The moment your hands leave Natalia’s horns, her tail stops writhing and you breathe a sigh of relief into her mouth. Your lips disconnect as she pulls back slightly and when you open your eyes finally, you’re met with the quite literally glowing red eyes of your Mistress. As gently as she can, her tail slides out of your aching pussy, watching as your face pinches in pain at the soreness and she kisses your furrowed brow, nose brushing along your forehead and temple as she trails her lips down to press more kisses along the apples of your cheek and your scrunched up nose. 

It’s all so unexpectedly soft and distracts you enough from the burning stretch of the bulging end of her tail when she pulls the last few inches out that you don’t even cry out, though she’s quick to kiss away any silent tears that escape because of the pain.

“Are you okay?” Natalia breathes out. She’s watching you closely, intently, and when you nod yes, you’re blessed with your first genuine smile. No cocky devilish smirks or seductive, hooded eyed smiles. Just the smallest of quirks play on the corners of her lips, but it’s enough to have you staring up at her in silent reverence.

“Good.” She whispers and then, “Can you talk?”

“Y-yes.” The words come out quiet, hoarse, and trembling, your throat raw from all your crying.

You clear your throat and try it again, “Yes Mistress.” it’s just as rough as your first try, but at least the shakiness is gone.

“Good girl.” She’s still whispering, voice soft while she takes you in before she finally rolls off of you to sit up against the headboard of the bed. She’s patting the open spot between her legs, an invitation or a silent command, you’re not sure but you move your tired body to rest against her’s anyway. Your back is pressed against her front, your head rests against her pillowy breasts while her’s rests atop your own, chin pressed to the crown of your head and her left arm wrapping around to secure you against her. Her free hand stretches out in front of both of you and you watch in amazement as a fresh, cool glass of water appears right before your eyes in her outstretched hand, complete with a red striped straw.

She’s bringing it up to your mouth urging you to take the cup from her, her voice gentle against your ear, “Drink this for me, kitten.” 

You nod and do as you’re told, taking the refreshingly cold water from Natalia to start sipping and watching while two, what you think are, rags appear in her once again outstretched hand.

“Hold this.” She’s handing you one and you grab it with your free hand, feeling the warm damp cloth between your fingers and you think you can feel your heart melt when you realize what she’s doing. Slowly, she guides your legs open, not one word said while she dutifully and carefully drags the warm rag across the insides of your thighs, cleaning the drying slick from your skin. She trails the fabric closer to your sore center, just barely brushing your outer lips as she cleans the apex of your thighs, before running it along your overly sensitive slit as softly as she can, hushing you quietly when you whine and squirm. 

You can feel her press a kiss to the top of your head as she finishes, then she’s leaning back, left hand under your chin tilting your head, your bell twinkling softly, to look up at her while her right is taking the second rag from you. Her eyes follow her hand as she slowly sweeps the cooling rag across your lower face, wiping away any remaining remnants of cum coating your cheeks and chin. When she finishes, she gives you another kiss, this one lingering on your forehead.

The used rags vanish and she hums as she brushes stray hair from your face and you can’t help but to stare up at her with big doe eyes, melting under her gentle touch. You can feel the chuckle build in her chest before it flows richly from her full lips and you can hear the amusement that tints her voice when she speaks again, “Finish your water, kitten.” 

Despite everything that’s just happened, you still feel your cheeks heat in embarrassment as you quickly go back to drinking your water. It only takes you a few more seconds before you finish your glass.

“Would you like more?” You shake your head no and the glass disappears from your hand. “Do you need anything else, pet?” Her hands are softly stroking along your sides, stomach, and thighs, fingers massaging into any sore muscles they find.

“No, Mistress.” You’re quiet as you speak though your thoughts are loud, overcome with questions that soon fall into the recesses of your mind when she starts to shift lower onto the bed. 

Natalia pulls you over her while she settles onto her back, tucking you into her side and wrapping her arm around your waist, pulling you flush against her. You don’t hesitate to bury your face against her neck, your collar ringing with the movement and her chin resting against your head once more. Your leg and arm are thrown across her and you snuggle as close as you can with a content, sleepy sigh. She’s humming some soft unknown tune quietly, hands tracing patterns into your back and vaguely, you register the slithering sensation of her tail wrapping itself along your leg.

Briefly, your mind flashes back to the Natalia that left you in your bed all those nights ago with her cum leaking from between your legs and you can’t help the words that fly from your mouth.

“I didn’t know demons were into aftercare.”

She huffs a laugh, the air hitting the top of your head, and you hide your smile against her skin when she replies, “I’m a succubus, kitten, not evil.”

She must feel your mouth open against her, because before any sound can escape your parted lips, she’s shushing you. 

“I know you must have lots of questions, pet.” You hum a yes when she pauses waiting for your reply, then continues on, “I thought so. But now is the time for sleep.” One of her hands leaves the expanse of your back to run through your hair, nails dragging pleasantly along your scalp and you feel as she leans down, lips brushing across your forehead as she whispers. “I promise I’ll answer all your questions in the morning.” A kiss, then “Now, go to sleep kitten.”

You do, a small smile stuck to your lips.

#LOL like 2 years later right? #anyway really wanna thank everyone who's still here despite me being gone for forever #like whaaaaa???? why are you here?? i come back from the land of the dead to complain and leave and youre still patiently (probably not) #waiting for a fic?? really?? bless you #<3 #anyways i learned a lot about myself un personally while writing this and i hope you guys enjoy and or learn a few new things about yourself #;) #ive been reading a lot of lady d fics and i think they kind of translated over to this fic sorry #natasha romanoff x reader #natasha romanoff x fem!reader #natasha romanoff smut #smut #avengers x fem!reader #avengers x reader #avengers smut #boo.fic

[goldenkirstein]

i've been on fire, dreaming of you

or alternatively, when both you and jean thought you lost each other

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anonymous requested: hello there! I love your stuff. if requests are open, may I request a canonverse post-rumbling jean x fem reader where y/n is wounded + passed out from exhaution after the rumbling and wakes up warm and safe, with jean tending to her wounds. Y/n is shocked bc she remembers how she almost lost Jean (she didn't get turned into a titan, maybe she isn't Eldian?) and she just shoots straight up to embrace Jean without realizing the intensity of her wounds. Jean gets extra worried so he has to gently guide her back to lying down on the bed because she has a fever and her injuries aren't all better yet 🥺👉👈 maybe they cuddle afterwards until she falls asleep or smth aaaaaa 🥺 pairing: jean x fem! reader wc: 2.7k+ tags: angst to fluff, cursing, female reader, mentions of death, blood and violence, hints of blasphemy (?), mentions of injuries, aot manga spoilers.

a/n: sorry this took so long, (i was shadowbanned) i changed up the request a teensy bit but otherwise i hope you enjoy !!

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Hot, burning, searing pain is the last thing you remembered before your vision went black.

That and the sight of the man you loved transforming into the one thing you feared the most.

Whether it was the heartache or the open wounds on your body that made you lose consciousness, you don’t know.

Truthfully, you were angry at Jean.

It was a whispered confession on the Azumabito airship. You and Jean sat in the corner, Captain Levi and Pieck in front of you, eyes cast away. The rest sat in silence, reeling from the situation that had played out on the ground below, quietly preparing themselves for the hell that awaited them at Fort Slava.

Jean’s hands were trembling; you would expect that after years of seeing your comrades die at the hands of humans and titans alike, you would get used to the death.

This wasn’t that, though; this was a different fear and anxiousness. Jean’s hands were clammy and his face pale; you could gauge that from one look at the man next to you, whatever worries were bubbling inside him were the accumulation of all the events from the past couple of days.

Jean was a collected man most times; as commanding officer, he didn’t have a choice but to be stoic and calm in the face of danger. But when that facade began to crumble, you would be there to ground him, remind him of why he was fighting. You knew that if you locked eyes at that moment, Jean would be able to see right through the front you were putting up, see the fear etched into your irises as you all were hurtling towards your deaths. So instead, you made the executive decision to swallow that panic and be that rock he needed, offering him your hand.

You took hold of his hand, staring ahead, and squeezed it three times, a reminder for both him and you that at least you still had each other. You could feel his eyes on you after you performed the simple gesture, but you continued to look ahead, focusing on the clouds, knowing that a couple of meters below, havoc was being wreaked by those mindless titan drones.

He said it so faintly, so lightly that you barely heard it past the sounds of the engine reverberating around the metal cabin.

“I’ll love you now and forever, even when I’m a pile of burnt bones.”

It’s like he knew. It was his way of saying goodbye to you. And you ignored him.

You clenched your jaw and pretended that you didn’t hear, pushed it to the back of your mind because this was no place for hushed confessions of love and, even more so, goodbyes. You were sure as hell were not letting Jean say goodbye to you. There would be no reason to, not if you had it your way. The both of you were bound together, and goodbyes were never to be uttered between the both of you.

Even when I’m a pile of burnt bones.

Is that what remains of him now? The muscle, sinew, and skin that pieced Jean together all reduced to ash and soot? The body that you had spent hours tracing, memorizing every detail of scattered in the wind. You would never feel the weight of his body on yours again, be able to graze your fingers over the scars littered on his torso, feel the way his heart would beat against your hands.

Jean Kirstein would only exist in your mind from now on.

He had left you alone with nothing but his memory, but even then, it was plagued by the image of a senseless titan taking the shape of Jean.

You wished to go back and tell him to shut up, never to utter those words again. Tell him to get those foolish notions out of his head, slap your hands over his mouth, silencing him, so that you could continue to live in your deluded reality that both of you would make it out alive. Tell him that he was selfish, of leaving you here to endure this torment by yourself.

Would that stop the scathing agony you were feeling?

Maybe this was hell you were in, you thought. That you were being punished for ignoring him, that you were the foolish one. Perhaps you should’ve held him tight to you, found a way to fold himself into you, so you wouldn’t have to suffer alone. Were you angry at Jean, or was that resentment directed at yourself?

The pain spread from your chest to your arms, down your legs, coursing through your veins.

You should have looked at him, told him that you were just as scared; maybe that could have changed his fate. If only you repeated those words back to him. He would still be here now.

I’ll love you now and forever.

I love him. I love him. I love him.

Bring him back to me.

The silent prayer came from the depths of your heart; whether God or who knows what would hear it, you didn’t know, but the thought of having to live with this ache was enough for you to continue repeating the mantra in your head.

--

Jean looked at your unconscious form that laid next to his seat. If it wasn’t for the gentle rising and falling of your chest, he could have sworn you were dead.

The thought sent a chill down his spine.

Jean had made peace with the fact that he would die when he transformed into a titan. Seeing you, like this, however, barely grasping onto your own life, made his body ache; he was okay with dying, but the thought of having to live without you was a fate worse than death.

He reached over to grab your hand and rubbed his thumb over the back of your palm before grasping it and squeezing it three times. He let go of it, placing it back gently over the top of your torso.

It was time to change your bandages and clean your wounds. Jean was a strong man; he had seen firsthand what a titan could do to one’s body, but his hands quivered as they unwrapped the bloodied bandages from your thigh. One singular thought overcame his mind.

Was he the reason that you were injured this badly? Did he hurt you?

Jean had spent many nights tending to your injuries, his hands careful when it came to you. However, the cuts and gashes he would tenderly patch up would always be inflicted by other humans or titans. Never did he think that his hands would be capable of hurting you. Jean was disgusted with himself as he stared straight ahead at his hands, now covered in blood.

The worst part of this, Jean thought, was that he couldn’t even remember if he was responsible for this, or maybe, that was a blessing. Recalling the situation would drive him into madness. The man winced at the thought of his arms tearing up your body.

He reached over to the tiny side table holding the medical supplies, grabbing the antiseptic solution. Dabbing it on a cloth, he attentively cleaned the wound, instinctively checking for your reaction. You would always make a fuss when he would apply it, but Jean averted his eyes once he realized that there was no reaction from your comatose form.

Usually, he would scold you when you would pull back from his hands when he tended to your wounds, but now any response would be better than having to tolerate the silence in the tiny room.

Jean got up to clean his hands in the basin, warm water turning red once he dipped his hands in. This was his punishment; he would have to suffer the consequences of his actions. The both of you were alive; Jean knew that he should be grateful, get on his hands and knees and thank the gods above. However, why should he be thankful? It was cruel. The both of you were not alive by the grace of God; this wasn’t mercifulness or benevolence.

What good is living if you have to sit and watch the one you love the most deteriorate in front of your eyes.

“You need to sleep; this isn’t healthy.” Connie was standing in the doorway with his arms crossed. Although he was speaking to Jean, his eyes were transfixed on you.

Jean didn’t need to look at himself to know how terrible he looked. His eyes were bloodshot and puffy, his face pale and gaunt. He spent his days and nights in your room, never wanting to miss the moment when you would wake up.

If. If you woke up, not when. Even that was not guaranteed.

“I’m not leaving her side, Connie.” Jean dried his hands on the cloth next to the basin. He turned his head to look at his friend, whose eyes were now staring back into his.

Connie understood the situation; he wanted you to wake up as well, but it pained him to see Jean suffer like this, “Spending your days sitting next to her waiting for her to wake up won’t help her, Jean.”

“You don’t think I fucking know that?” Jean slammed his hand down on the basin, hair falling in front of his face. Connie’s eyes widened at his friend’s action; to say that Jean was frustrated would be an understatement.

“You got your mom back, Annie got to see her dad, even those damn kids found each other. I got her back, but it’s my fault she’s like this.” Jean gritted his teeth, lip quivering.

Connie’s heart sank; he had seen Jean at his worst, but this was almost unbearable to witness. He made his way over to the hunched-over man and squeezed his shoulder.

“It’s not your fault Jean. This is difficult, believe me, I know, but you can’t be blaming yourself.” Connie’s eyes flickered your form, and he clenched his jaw.

Jean shifted his head, sullen eyes peering at your face through strands of hair; the man shook his head as a sob escaped his lips, “I need her to wake up Connie. I can’t live without her; I don’t know how to.”

--

You felt a gentle breeze on your face and an odd pressure around your ribs. Laying still for a moment, you waited for the pressure to subside, but instead, it made its way down to your thigh. You tried to open your eyes, but it was as if they were glued shut; there was no strength left in your body.

How many days had it been? Where were you?

Questions circled amidst your clouded mind as you lay immobile. You realized that the pressure you were feeling on your body was the weight of someone’s hands. How badly were you injured?

Memories flooded into your mind as you became aware of the situation you were in currently. Someone had rescued you at Fort Slava, and you were being treated at a medical facility by nurses. No, not nurses; the hands felt oddly familiar. They were careful and precise in their movements but carried tenderness as well.

You tried to take a deep breath in, to gather strength to move any one of your limbs, but paused immediately as the pain in your ribs was far too great. Shallow breaths would suffice for the time being. You began to focus on moving your fingers, channelling whatever energy you had left to at least get them to move.

The sheets underneath your fingers were soft as you gently moved your digits along the fabric. The hands on your thigh briefly paused before continuing their movements. You waited a minute before moving again, this time lifting your hand.

You couldn’t feel the hands on your body anymore.

Whoever had been treating your wounds whispered your name. It was a man, but you weren’t able to recognize their voice as everything was still groggy.

The man sharply inhaled, his voice shaking as he said your name once again.

You mustered the strength to open your eyes; your eyelids were heavy and hard to fight to keep open. The room was blurry and far too bright for your liking, but you continued to blink, and soon, the details surrounding you came into focus. The figure was still, waiting for your next move; you lolled your head to the side to get a better look at him.

“I’m sorry, I’m so sorry.”

He slowly came into focus; he was holding your hand between his and planting kisses on the back of your palm.

Why was he apologizing? Who was he?

Your heartbeat quickened as his voice became more apparent; this had to be some sick nightmare. You slowly sat up and reached out to him to cement the fact that this couldn’t be real. Your hand made contact with his knee; he was warm, he was alive.

Tears were running down your cheeks as your eyes scanned up his frame until landing on his face. Jean stared back at you, eyes wide, your hand still held in his.

Your face contorted as you took in the sight in front of you; you were so sure you had lost him, and yet here he was. Sitting up fully, you used your free hand to grip on to his white button-down and pull him into you with whatever remaining strength you had. Jean dropped your hand, and you swiftly wrapped both of your arms around him, eyes fluttering shut to take in his presence.

A pile of burnt bones.

It wasn’t a dream; you could feel his heartbeat against your body, feel his hair against your cheek. You sobbed into the crook of his neck, ignoring the immense pain you were feeling, scared that if you let him go, he would scatter in the wind.

“Jean, I’m sorry, I love you, I’m sorry, I should’ve told you-” Your voice was scratchy and hoarse, still weak from the slumber which had woken from a few minutes ago.

He brought a hand up to rest against your head, “I’m the one who’s sorry; why are you apologizing?” Jean pulled away from you, causing you to wince.

You furrowed your brows in confusion; he gently laid you back down on the bed before continuing, “I hurt you when I transformed into a titan; I’m the one who’s responsible-” Jean paused, his eyes landing on the gauze on your upper leg.

He wasn’t making any sense to you; shaking your head, you frowned at him, “What do you mean? I saw you transform before I passed out; I got injured by the rubble falling from the fort.”

“I should be apologizing, not you. When we were in the airship, you told me you loved me, and I ignored you, Jean, and then I thought you died and lost you. I’m terrible-” You looked up at him through teary eyes; Jean wiped your tears before kissing your cheeks.

“All this time, I was scared that I had almost killed you, and here you thought that I was dead.” He whispered, hands caressing your cheek.

“You’re not dead right; if I close my eyes, you’ll still be here?” You brought your hand up to hold his, letting out a shaky breath.

“No, my love, I’m not dead, and I’m not going anywhere.” Jean pressed a light kiss to your forehead. You cautiously sat up before moving over slightly to make room for him on the small bed.

“Can you lie here with me? Don’t wanna let go of you yet.” He nodded his head before getting up from his seat to lie next to you.

You placed your head on his chest, eyes fluttering shut. Your hand traced the buttons on his shirt, slowly getting lulled to sleep by the sound of his steady heartbeat.

Jean’s fingers skimmed your side; overwhelming happiness filled his chest; he was relieved that you were alright and that he hadn’t been the one at fault for your current state. He felt you press a kiss where his heart was, and his lips curled into a smile.

“You know why I said what I said on the airship?”

“Hmm, why?” Your ears piqued in interest.

“Because I knew that even if I died, I’d find you again, somehow somewhere.”

You let out a sigh, silently thanking whoever it was that answered your prayers.

I love him and you brought him back to me.

a/n: i hope you enjoyed this !! any feedback is appreciated !! i tried something a little different than how i usually write, so please don't be shy to tell me if you liked it or not and what could be improved !!

also i apologize for not being active these past couple of days, my tumblr went haywire and i was shadowbanned, its all fixed now but again super sorry !!

taglist: @c0urtn3y, @depressedbisexual, @dai-tsukki-desu, @clean-soap, @nevcrmxre, @conniesspringersgf, @glittrkink

click here to join my taglist

As always, please leave a like/reblog if you enjoyed this, I appreciate it lots <33

#jean kirstein x reader #jean kirschtein x reader #jean kirschtein #jean kirstein #attack on titan #aot #aot x reader #aot fluff #jean kirschtein imagine #jean kirstein fanfiction #jean kirstein fluff #jean kirstein imagine #jean kirschtein x you #jean x y/n #snk #snk x reader #snk imagines #jean kirstein x you #jean kirschtein x y/n #jean kirstein x y/n #attack on titan x reader #my writing #jean kirstein angst #jean angst #jean fluff #jean kirschtein angst #jean kirschtein fluff #aot angst #snk angst #connie springer

[amoristt]

Grazing the Fire | IV

well hello. here i am, four years later, once again enamored with nathan enough to finally dust this baby off and pick up where i left it. im a little rusty so bear with me this chapter! much more to come <3

reblogs + tags and replies will make my entire day as i put a lot of effort into this :)! it also helps motivate me!

story continues beneath the read more. let me know if you can’t access it!

Warning: language, very vague s/a mentions

want to support me? heres my kofi!

__________________________

“Alright class, who can tell me,” A board stick clacks against the chalkboard. “Who can answer problem four?” 

A few hands raise in the corners of your eye, but yours remains atop your desk. Eyes far away, mind in a murky haze and almost completely unaware. All you could focus on were the memories playing on repeat within the confines of your tired, tired brain. Hours ago, you were warm, you were comfortable. Safe.

Cheeks heated to a dusting blush when you remind yourself just how you had awoken that morning. At some point in the night, an angel had blessed you. Allowed you to wake up wrapped around none other than big, bad, Nathan Prescott. Your face nuzzled into his chest, broad but wiry hands pressed firmly over your shoulder and his arm slung over your waist to keep you against him. Thankfully you had been the first to wake up, blinking away the morning sun blazing through his blinds and painting the room stripes of gold. At that moment, before your headache came crashing down onto your skull, you were astounded by him. 

Eye lashes brushing the top of his cheeks, his lips parted ever so slightly, chest rising and falling rhythmically. In that moment, there was no anger, no bitterness. Just a soft and peaceful slumber. It was like being the sole viewer of a magnificent painting- each stroke and detail placed just there just for you to pick out, to remember the curves and sharp edges down to the very foundation. From his unkempt hair down to the way his hand flattened onto the mattress where your indent still lived. Nathan was so beautiful like this. 

For a long time you stayed there. It was as though you were afraid to move- you couldn’t bear to disturb him. You had wondered, if he was always like this, so at peace, what would he be like? Likely soft voiced, mild mannered. He’d do his school assignments without hassle and donate to the charity board. He would wander the town with his friends and listen to music in a beat up truck flying down the stretch of highway overlooking the bold, blue, and beautiful ocean. An entirely different version of himself- carefree, and a fair blue as opposed to a burning flame of red. 

But, if that were the case, you’d never have gotten here. You’d never been both the outsider, and the only seeing eye. A lucky, albeit firstly unwilling witness to the display of depth before you. 

It never hit you like it had quite in that moment how lucky you were.

But- just then- an alarm disturbed what serendipity existed. You nearly leapt out of your skin, clutched your hands to your chest at the sudden sound. A headache wove its way into your once untouched temples. Nathan groaned, mumbled, ‘god damn it’, under his breath, and thus his body was reanimated into life. He rubbed his eyes and he stretched, that familiar scowl coming over his eyes and lips as he took in the sunlight damn near blinding him. A polar opposite to the being you’d appreciated just moments earlier.

“Ugh, fuck, how the fuck is it seven already.” He groaned. “I feel like shit.”

“Well good morning to you too,” You started, welcoming Nathan into the world. “‘I’m feeling pretty shitty as well.” 

You said that, but really… You were more than alright. Your head had hurt, slight nausea crept into the wells of your stomach, but other than that you’re sure you were phenomenally better than you’d have been waking up whereverTate would have left your ass.

“You need to get outta here, before everyone gets up.” Nathan drawled, but he didn’t sound as urgent as you expected him to be. You’d expected him to be angry that you were still in his room, but instead he just… accepted it. 

You snickered, climbing out of his throne of a bed. “Wow, you’re giving me the morning after treatment?” 

“Sure am. Get outta here, whore.”

“Oh fuck you.” 

You located your heels from last night, resting upright near his dorm room door. Heels didn’t sound like the most  practical to sneak out of a dorm with, so you instead opted to grappling them by the straps and carrying them at your side. Hair a mess, outfit riddled with wrinkles and makeup smudged under your eyes, you stood before Nathan in all your glory. He stared at you for a long, odd moment- and you for some reason felt exposed, or even, shy. 

“What?” You ask expectantly, placing a hand on your hip. 

His eyes trail to your line of vision. He shakes his head. “Just thinking about how now you really do look like my morning after.”

“Yeah?” You hummed. “Find it hard to believe you get a lot of those.”

Nathan shoots you a suggestive glance. “You’d be surprised. Everyone wants a piece of Prescott.”

Surely, he was joking, or maybe he wasn’t, but you… Didn’t like hearing that. It made your stomach feel odd, uncomfortably heavy.  As he stood up, reminding you how many inches he had over your size, you swallowed and cleared your throat to flush out that crappy feeling. “Well,” you started, mood having dropped. “I’m gonna go, then.” 

“What got your panties in a twist all the sudden?” He asked, raising a brow and pulling some clothes from his closet, tossing them onto the bed.

The bed you two had shared.

You hated the idea of his morning afters- whoever they may be. 

“Not feeling great. Probably a side effect of the roofies.” You mumbled.

Nathan breathed a laugh. “Probably.”

He seemed so calm, right now. Perhaps due to it being so early, before the outside world had a chance to remind him just why he was so uptight all the tight. Before he needed to be so uptight all the time. He really did have so many versions of himself- all of whom you were slowly becoming familiar with. Compared to the person you’d believed him to be before your run ins, you’d never have assumed someone so dangerous could be so soft as last night, as this morning. In the beginning, you’d feared him. Avoided him like a plague, or a wild animal. Even when you were enraptured in the existence of him, you still wanted to keep away. You’d never have believed someone like you could wake up clutched to his chest, as though he were afraid if he released you, you’d be gone long before he woke. 

Then, a sudden thought struck your mind. 

He’d held you so tight. He’d welcomed you in the morning. No anger, no annoyance. His soft laugh at your banter and taunts. How your heels were standing upright instead of tossed haphazardly into some random corner, where he’d watch your struggle to find. 

How he’d stayed awake to ensure your sleep.

“So are you just gonna stand there?” Nathan called you back to reality, hands gripping the hems of his shirt. “I gotta get ready and you need to wash up so you don’t look like a five dollar stripper.” Cruel words, but with absolutely no bite. You rolled your eyes.

“Yeah. But, hey,” You started. “Thank you for last night.” 

“Yeah, yeah. You gotta start learning to watch your own back.” He says. “There’s gonna be times I won’t be there to drag your ass out of the fire.”

If you’d been charged, if you’d been stricken with a strange defensiveness, you’d have retorted, ‘than stop helping me’, but… Instead you allowed yourself the comfort of protection. You allowed Nathan Prescott to watch you.  

“I know,” You reached for the door. “Thank you.”

With that, you bounded out of the dorm silent as a mouse. 

-----------

In hindsight, you should have left earlier. Class was merely 15 minutes away when you slipped out of Nathan's room and bounded towards the women's dorm. Albeit not exactly a long walk, by the time you discreetly snuck back into your own dorm, you had roughly twenty minutes to somehow pick an outfit from your countless unopened boxes and make yourself even slightly presentable. 

Wiping off whatever make-up you could get and reapplying it, brushing out the tangles of your hair and nearly tearing off your scalp in the process, scattering your nightclothes over your floor and managing to scrounge out a semi-decent outfit for the day… You still looked a mess. If the mirror could laugh, it would have. Black mascara smudges under your eyes and frizzy untreated hair. What a lovely look. 

You’d made it to class just five minutes late, but those five minutes were all it took for all eyes to be on you as you tried to slide into the classroom unnoticed. A couple classmates whispered to their table mates as you passed by, smelling of oversaturated cherry blossom perfume to hopefully cover the scent of alcohol. You sauntered to your seat and sank down with all your weight, suddenly exhausted. You’d made it with just five minutes tainting your record of attendance. The teacher greeted you with a disappointed sigh, and thus, the day began. 

But, it was so hard to focus. All you could think about was Nathan. 

“Alright class, who can tell me,” A board stick clacks against the chalkboard. “Who can answer problem four?” 

You lowered your head. 

“Ah, how about, ___?”

You snaked back into reality, blinking up at the chalk board that was somehow already riddled with math equations. Since you hadn’t been paying attention even in the slightest, your mouth gaped wide open, eyes scanning for something you understood even slightly so you didn’t look like a total idiot. 

Sadly, you were out of luck. The teacher shook his head. “I’m shocked,” He said. “You're normally so on top of things. Oh well.”

“Oh, I’m sure she was on top of things,” A female voice sniggered behind you “Last night.”

Your face flushed a red, hot, ruby. What the hell was she talking about? How had they found out you were with Nathan? You were so sure of being sneaky, there was no way-

“Her and Tate totally got it on last night.”

You whipped around in your seat, facing girls who looked to be clones of some sort. Both with the same dark eyes, short brown hair, and freckles. “What?”

“Alright-” Your teacher blurted. “That's enough. April, May, enough. Let’s not discuss things outside of the classroom.”

The two girls batted their eyes. “Sorry sir.” One spoke, twirling a hand through her hair. Her sister's wide toothy grin never fumbled. 

“Back to it then. Kate, can you help out __ with number four?” 

The small, blonde girl nodded quickly, brushing a lock of hair behind her eyes and offering an empathic nod. 

As you turned around in your seat, her answer fell on deaf ears. Your heart was racing in your chest, hands balled into fists while you stared ahead blankly.  

They couldn’t seriously think that you chose to leave with Tate, could they? Surely someone must have seen the state you were in. Someone other than Nathan.

The clock ticks forward but time feels like it's passing almost unnaturally slow. With just 10 minutes left, you feel your phone vibrate in your pocket.

‘Nathan: consider ur favor officially returned 

Your tongue poked from your lips, the tiniest of smiles taking over your once sullen features. Terrible thoughts and worries flew out the window while you type back, ‘damn. here i was gonna to ask you to do a backflip off the roof with me. there goes my plans.’

Nathan types for a moment. Typing, stopping, typing again. 

‘Nathan: soundz like a blast. where and when?’

A small blush heats your cheeks. ‘very funny. thanks to last night i have an entire 24 hour session of studying to catch up with.’

His response is almost instant. ‘Nathan: boringgg. txt me when ur fun.’

Rolling your eyes, you shove your phone back into your pocket. It seems you’ve been able to secure enough of a friendship with him for some mindless banter even outside your little visits. You smile. He’s… Fun to talk to. Surprisingly. 

Class comes to an end and you start to pack up the books and papers you’d hardly even glanced at the whole period. Whatever had been upsetting you before is lost in your mind while you think of the morning, the night before. All the things in-between. But, your happiness doesn’t last long. As you get up, you’re almost forced right back into your seat as a weight shoves into your shoulder. Your books scatter to the floor. April, the one who’d remarked about you earlier, glares at you in what looks to be disgust. 

“Careful April,” Her sister hums as she saunters past you, keeping distance and raising her already shrill tone of voice. “Might wanna watch where you’re walking- I’d hate for you to catch something from this slut.”

You absolutely gawk at her. “What the fuck did you just say to me?”

April scoffs. “Oh come on, like everyone doesn’t know what you were up to last night.”

“Sleeping around isn’t a good color on you.” May hikes her bag over her shoulder and snickers at you. They both leave the class together, sickeningly in sync. You’re left stunned where you stand, unsure how the hell your life came to this so quickly. How you’ve stooped so low that the daughters of the world's most uncreative parents are able to bully you based on something that didn’t even happen.

Next class goes no better. The person to your right, a jockey looking brunette guy, asks, ‘have you ever heard of a Tate?’. You say no, that that’s the dumbest name you’ve ever heard. The idiot grins and goes back to marking down likely wrong answers on his test sheet and you debate kicking the leg of his chair out- but you don’t to avoid even more eyes on you. It makes you sick to your stomach- even more than recovering from the roofies does. How can everyone believe it? You barely even knew the guy and you were clearly uncomfortable with his advances. No one saw that? 

After everything you’d worked for to build a reputation, trying so hard to not call out peoples shit for the sake of seeming friendly, tainted over something that didn’t even happen? And the kicker was that it hadn’t even been your fault! He’d drugged you, he’d have taken advantage of you! Yet you were the bad person? 

Class came and went in the blink of an eye this time. Your mind wrapped up in the situation, your stomach churning. You wanted the day to be over with but you still had 4 more classes to suffer through. Why was this happening to you? Was Tate being treated just as horribly, or was he getting pats on the backs of his unaware friends?

Wandering down the halls to your locker, you noticed Lance and Kaz hanging around one of the drinking fountains. Your nerves quelled- your friends would surely make you feel much better. Especially since they had witnessed how awful you were feeling as you left. You approach with a relieved smile, ready to say your truth and finally have someone on your side.

“Hey guys.” You smile, but Lance looks down at his feet while Kaz places her hands to his hips. Your smile fades.

“You could have told us you were gonna spend the night with Tate,” Kaz snaps. “You didn’t need to lie like that just to leave. We were all worried about you and it was for nothing.”

“What?” You feel like you could cry. “No, Kaz, I really did try to leave. Tate tried to drug me and take me home, and-”

“He wouldn’t do that.” Lance interrupts, with a frown. He looks back down at the floor with knitted brows. “I’ve known Tate since before time. He wouldn't do something like that, especially not to one of my best friends. Plus he told me he was really into you. Why would he even try?”

“Are you serious?” You sputter. “You think I’d lie about something like that?”

“You’ve been lying about all sorts of things!” Kaz huffs. “What’s going on with you lately? You’ve been so distant, and secretive. What are you hiding that’s making you lie like this? We’re supposed to be your friends and then you lie to our faces just to go and fuck the first guy that shows you attention.”

“What…?” It was like acid. It was like the rug had been pulled from your feet sending you spiraling down the unending cliff. Kaz, your best friend, all that venom. How could they turn against you like this? What the hell is going on? You felt your throat tighten. “Look, I’m sorry if I’ve been distant, but I’m not lying to you, I-”

“We gotta go.” Lance isn’t in the mood to hear it. “We’ll catch up to you.. Some other time.”

Kaz says nothing as she pushes past you. Lance, at least, spares a short glance over his shoulder. You stood there alone in the hallway, your bag falling off your shoulder and clattering onto the floor with a thud echoing off the walls. Everything you had, all gone at once. 

No one believed you.

---------

With nowhere to go where you felt like you could truly allow yourself to process the day's events, you went to the only place you knew. 

Just outside of campus, where rocks lined the edge of the boundary, overlooking the outskirts of the town and the ocean stretching as far as the eye could see. You settled yourself there, staring at the vast waters and wondering how this had all happened. Unlucky didn’t even begin to cover how it felt. Not only did you feel violated with Tate attempting to do unthinkable things with your unconscious body, but you also felt alone, and walked on. Your best friends hadn’t believed you. While Lance seemed saddened, Kaz was so… Angry. Her words cut like knives into your skin. 

It wasn’t fair. It wasn’t fair. You didn’t deserve this.

You want to talk to Nathan, but knowing him, he’d see your state and bounce instantly. After all, this isn’t exactly very fun of you.

As the sun began to fall, splaying orange and blues over the wide open sky, behind you, you could hear voices. A group of them, some male, some female. Memories of when your notebook had gotten snatched by those two horsed face assholes came flooding back and with all your alertness, you stood up, and decided that this sitting place was no longer safe. Nothing was.

Before you even made it ten feet away, the group had found their way to your spot and gotten comfortable, one of the girls cheering, ‘this’ll be our hangout! look at how pretty the view is!’

You took a short drive down the stretches of road and decided that if you were going to lament in your own sadness, you were at least going to do so in a place that had something to cover the sound of your tears. Plus a nice view.

The beach, littered with its picnic tables and the sounds of crashing waves would suffice just fine. So, you pulled in the desolate parking lot and wandered down the sandy shores until you stumbled upon a picnic table shaded by a large willow cascading lushious branches to block out the sun- a perfect canopy for you to wallow under. 

You had nothing at that moment. No friends, no reputation, no one to believe your tragic tale. And now, you’d just lost the one spot that made you feel comfortable when stress was building into your body like concrete. Tears pricked into the corners of your eyes and you bit your lip, dreading that feeling of a lump in your throat. Why you? Everything had been going so well. How could not even a single person believe that Tate had tried to hurt you?

Well, actually, there was one person.

Of course Nathan believed you. He’d been the one to rescue you, after all. Time and time again it seemed.  How was it that even the ones closest to you would turn their back so fast, yet Nathan seemed to be there even when you didn’t want him to be? Even when you yelled at him, and he yelled right back, fire and sparks falling into embers around the two of you. 

In that moment, you almost felt like you could finally relate to him. A reputation based on lies and things out of your control, paired with a hardheaded attitude to try and combat all the assumptions. 

No wonder he was so angry. 

“Hey bitch,” A voice suddenly called, and you had a split second moment where you were terrified of once again being the victim of a cruel prank or some classmates boredom. “How about next time you have a pity party you don’t fucking call me in the middle of it.”

You blinked away your tears and through the blurriness saw a figure coming towards you. All that sass, the tone...

“Nathan?” You breathed. It only takes moments before he’s in front of you, holding his phone in view, seeing that the call that had been running for nearly ten minute. You flush in embarrassment, pulling your phone from your back pocket. “How did that happen?”

“Well, can your ass dial numbers?” He taunts, ending the call. 

“Damn it, dumb phone must have butt-dialed you. I knew I should’ve gotten a different one.” You mentally kick yourself. “It must have unlocked in my pocket.”

“You don’t have a password on your phone?” He taunts. When you shake your head, he whistles. “You are just begging for a robbery. I’ll keep that in mind when I’m in the mood to send random messages to all your buddies.” 

“Fuck off.” You scowl, and he grins, hopping up on the picnic table next to you. The sun flatters his skin. He’s almost glowing. 

“Speaking of buddies, how the hell did it pick my number out of your sea of friends?”

You shrug. “Probably cuz’ it’s a priority contact.” 

“Oh lala, I’ve been upgraded to priority huh? Does it display a superman logo whenever you give it a ring?”

“Nope. When I press call it rings the nearest asshole in my vicinity. The fact that it’s you is your own problem.”

“Haha, fucking ha.” He leans forward and rests his elbows on his knees. He stares out at the water, watching waves pull and crash onto the beach. It’s almost beautiful, until he ruins it. “Yknow, you’re a really ugly crier.”

“Wow, thanks.” You shake your head. “That's exactly what I needed to hear right now. Why did you even stay on the line?.” Wiping your eyes, you start to forget your tears. “Couldn’t have been that wild of a conversation.”

Nathan shrugs. “Between the crying and the sound of the waves it was pretty nice.” He grins. “Very educational.” 

“Awesome. Glad I was able to make your day.” It doesn’t feel like your usual bitey remarks. You’re tired, you’re still a little hurt and you can’t stop thinking about how such an amazing morning had turned into such a horrible day.

“So what’s got you all fucked up? Never seen you act like this big of a baby before.”

“Nothing. You already paid off your debt to me per this morning, so feel free to resume our regularly scheduled mutual hatred.” You say, lying through your teeth. You know you’re both past the point of hatred, but you’re feeling jaded, you can’t help it. 

“Oh shut the fuck up,” He groans. “I didn’t drag my ass all the fucking way out to this shit hole of a beach just for you to give me that bullshit. What, did you fail a test? No one matched you on tinder?”

“Everyone thinks me and Tate slept together last night.” You blurt. “I think he’s telling people me and him had sex.”

Nathan tenses his shoulders and grimaces. “Fucking werido.”

“I told my best friends that he tried to take advantage of me and they don’t believe me. One of em’ even said he wouldn’t do something like that.”

“Fuck em’. Who needs best friends.”

“And to make everything so much better, these two bitches that I share four of my classes with harassed me all goddamn day. I mean, fucks sake, how the hell are girls named April and May of all things able to get to me. It’s bullshit. And to make matters worse, Tate is just… Getting away with it.”

“Yeah well, something tells me that Tate’s gonna get a real nice fucking taste of medicine eventually. I just gotta find him first. He’s got a lot of nerve spreading shit around given I knocked his ass onto the pavement.” Nathan brows knit at the memory.

You test the waters. “Why would you do that for me?”

He seems caught off guard, or maybe, surprised that you’d ask. Maybe he thinks you’re both beyond that point. He grumbles, “Why does it matter.”

“I’m just curious. We don’t owe each other anything, remember?”

“Yeah, well,” He huffs. “Don’t ask me questions to shit I don’t know the answer to.”

“You say that an awful lot.” You tease.

“Yeah well you ask dumbass questions an awful lot. Not everything I do has to have some weird ass motives behind it, ___. Maybe I’ve got beef with Tate that’s outside of you.”

“Uhuh. Sure.” You’re about to say something else, when your phone lights up with a text. The display makes your heart fall all over again. 

Unknown Number: you should just pack up and go somewhere else. no one wants std’s from breathing your air xoxo

You don’t even know who that is. Now absolute strangers are on your case. You want to throw your phone into the ocean and leave.

Nathan scoffs. “Don’t even bat a fucking eye for that bitch, whoever the hell they are. Half the hoes you’ve mentioned have slept with half the football team,” he pinches his jacket, “and I would know.”

“Ew, Nathan,” You grimace, that same feeling from the morning returning. It feels, oddly, like jealousy.  He nudges your arm with his elbow and grins playfully. It’s cute.

“Chill, I’m just fucking with you. You gotta know even I wouldn’t fuck girls that desperate. I’m a man of class.”

That last comment actually forces a laugh from you. It’s soft, but it’s real. The first laugh you’ve genuinely had all day. “That’s horrible.” You remark, giggling again.

It's almost like the slight restoration of your mood puts him at ease as well. He leans back on his hands and stares off into the ocean, those sparkling waters under the setting, orange sun. “I’m for real though. Those hoes aren’t worth your time. One day when we blow this shithole of a town they’re not even gonna matter.”

Your brows knit, eyes blinking up at him. Had you heard that right? 

“We?” You ask, perplexed, albeit a little… Hopeful.

Nathan sputters. “Well- Like, when everyone’s older and-”

“You know what, it's fine.” You interrupt. “Fuck it. You’re right. We’re gonna blow this town and they’re just gonna be some shitty memories.”

He sucks in a shaky breath. You’ve never heard him scramble like that, like he’s been unmasked. The look he casts you when you agree, when you don’t tease or patronize and finally hop on the idea that yeah, what if the two of you really didn’t have to deal with it anymore.

What if the two of you could just exist, without the anger. 

You look up at him. “Would you actually do that though?” You start. “With me, of all people?”

He swallows. His expression is tense, but he’s not upset. He appears nervous, caught off guard. Nathan tries, “I-”

Your phone rings. Shrill, piercing. Mood destroying. 

“Jesus Christ, it’s my mom.” You grab your phone and Nathan looks forward, stone faced and silent as you hop off the table and answer. It’s your mother, who all but shouts into the phone that her and your father are taking a surprising visit to Arcadia Bay while they’re traveling by on their vacation. She insists that you be ready in about an hour for dinner, and likely there will be family photos. 

Which means if you still look as wrecked as you did this morning, you’re gonna have a lot of washing up to do. With a quick goodbye, a short and sweet, ‘love you’, you hang up and sigh. 

“You still tell your mom you love her?” He teases. “What are you, five?”

You frown. “You don’t tell your parents you love them?”

Nathan side eyes you, and just shrugs. It is all the answer you need, really, and for his sake you decide it wouldn’t be best to press the issue. Not now. But- it still makes your heart hurt just a little. You wished that he’d had it better growing up. 

“Right… Do you want a ride home?”

“Fuck no, what am I,” He shoves his hands into his pockets. “a fucking girl scout?” 

“I was just offering, weirdo.” When he doesn't get up, you feel like you’re missing out. Like if you stayed, maybe, just maybe, you’d get to know him a little better. “Hey, if you want, I can stay for a bit longer.”

He rolls his eyes. “You’re needed elsewhere. But,” he shrugs. “I don’t know. Fuckin’... Text me or something. Or not, I don’t care either way.”

There’s a small warmth in your chest that rises to your cheeks. He wants you to text him. “Yeah,” You say. “If I’m feeling fun.”

And with that, you bid him farewell, beginning your descent to the parking lot. 

“Hey,” He calls, and you turn just in time to catch a small item he’s tossed right at you. A tiny key resides in the palm of your hand. “Spare. If shit hits the fan again-...” He shrugs, and actually looks away. “Just don’t be too fucking loud of I’ll kick your ass out myself. No Madison needed.”

The widest grin plays over your lips. “I’m gonna re-decorate your room while you’re gone.”

“Ah, you fucking better not.” He shouts. “Actually- you know what, give it back.” 

“No, no! I’m sorry.” You play with the key between your fingers. “Thanks for this.”

“Yeah, whatever. Don’t lose it and remember- emergencies only. I don’t need you watching me sleep like fucking freak. We’re past that stage.” 

“How many times will I have to say I was never watching you. Christ… But, alright. See ya, then.” The key is heavy in your palm. 

You place it into your pocket and give him one last glance before you take off, leaving him to enjoy the sound of waves, birds, and the absence of your tears.

#nathan prescott #nathan prescott x reader #life is strange #grazing the fire #scenario #fanfic #fluff

[destieltropecollection]

Destiel Trope Collection 2021 | Day 3: Angst with a Happy Ending

39 fics under the readmore

Conditional Miracle | @vampamber

Rating: Teen & Up Word Count: 1,551 Main Tags/Warnings: season 12 finale, in-canon temporary character death, love confession Summary: Chuck can bring Castiel back to life, but only on one condition: Dean has to tell Castiel how he feels about him. Not that "You're family, Cas" stuff, but how Dean actually feels. A coda for s12e23 "All Along the Watchtower" (a bit late, but better late than never)

Sharp edges | @chaoticdean

Rating: General Word Count: 1,638 Main Tags/Warnings: Major Character Death, (although he does come back at the very end), Temporary Character Death, Grief/Mourning, Emotional Hurt, Angst with a Happy Ending, Letters, Five Stages of Grief, post spn 15x18spn coda, Post-Episode: s15e18 Despair, written several months before the actual episode Summary: Castiel told him he loved him right before getting swallowed up by the Empty. Sam told him to talk, but words won’t come out, and really, how is he supposed to tell anyone how it feels to lose everything? So he writes. Letters on napkins, motel notepads, paperback books. He writes as he goes through every steps of grief, until finally there’s a light at the end of the tunnel.

What the Water Gave Him | @mattzerella-sticks

Rating: Teen & Up Word Count: 1,794 Main Tags/Warnings: Post-Canon, Implied/Reference Character Death, Sam Finds Out Summary: It was over. Chuck lost, Sam and Dean can live their lives how they want them. But their victory wasn't without losses. The biggest upset nearly taking Dean out of the game, happening so close to the final battle. Now he's on the other side, alive against all odds, but Sam knows he isn't happy. Not truly happy since the Empty stole his best friend. But there's a chance they can save him. A slim chance. A risk that Dean's willing to take despite every logical nerve in Sam's body screaming at him to look for better options. That threading a needle this small is too dangerous. That they don't have to take on another big bad, not anymore. That they don't have to risk their lives anymore. Dean is far past the point of listening. Dead set on this mission, Sam can only watch. And pray his brother proves him wrong.

A Classic Fear Of Rejection | @vampamber

Rating: General Word Count: 1,841 Main Tags/Warnings: pining, anxious Cas, Dean has self worth issues, love confession Summary: Castiel has been in love with Dean for almost ten years now. Ever since he'd raised the Righteous Man from perdition, actually. But Dean appears to be straight, so the angel just pined for him instead, fearing rejection. At Sam's insistence, Castiel finally admits his feelings, and it turns out that the angel may have been wrong about the elder Winchester's orientation.

The Things You Almost Say (But Never Do) | @wingsdestiel

Rating: Teen & Up Word Count: 1,967 Main Tags/Warnings: Light Angst, First Kiss, Love Confessions, Angst with a Happy Ending, Canonverse, Season 11 Summary: Team Free Will hasn't been much of a team lately, and Castiel wishes that Dean would stop avoiding everything.

Forget Me Not | @imbiowaresbitch

Rating: Explicit Word Count: 2,932 Main Tags/Warnings: top Castiel/bottom Dean Winchester, Hurt/Comfort, Car Accidents, Hospitals, Amnesia, Temporary Amnesia, Therapy, Makeup Sex, Marriage Proposal, Married Castiel/Dean Winchester, Angst with a Happy Ending Summary: A tragic accident during an argument leaves Cas with a head injury and amnesia, but Dean is determined to stay by his husband's side, even when the memories that return are painful. Can they move past the memories?

Forgetting Your Blues | @amirosebooks

Rating: Mature Word Count: 3,440 Main Tags/Warnings: Season 12 finale fix-it, amnesia, temporary main character death, fluff and angst, getting together, openly bisexual Dean Winchester Summary: Dean Jones doesn't know his real name. He woke up on a public park bench a few months back with an empty wallet and a driver's license listing the name Dean Jones with his picture. The name doesn't feel right on his tongue, but he doesn't remember what part is wrong. The cop who found him in the park got Dean a job in a local diner. The diner feels comfortable to Dean. He understands the rhythm of the place, the ebb and flow of the people and food, even if he's clearly never carried a tray of hot plates in his life. He settles into his new life. He makes new friends. He takes beautiful women and men and people to his bed for comfort on long nights. He has nightmares about blood covering his hands. Who is he? Why has no one come looking for him? What has he done? Why did he fall apart when he saw a guy wearing a tan trenchcoat?

I NEED YOU | @cooloddball

Rating: Explicit Word Count: 3,675 Main Tags/Warnings: Angst with a Happy Ending, Smut, Making up Summary: Sam is so done with Dean and Cas' bullshit. Time to get some things sorted out.

Even if the sky gets rough | @notfunnydean

Rating: Explicit Word Count: 5,360 Main Tags/Warnings: Fuck Or Die, cursed!Dean, dubcon, Top Castiel/Bottom Dean Winchester, First Kiss, Angst with a Happy Ending, Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Misunderstandings Summary: Dean can’t believe he got cursed again. Only this time it’s a lot worse, because if he can’t find someone to fuck him… well, he dies.

spes alit et falit. | @celestialsilhouette

Rating: Teen & Up Word Count: 5,524 Main Tags/Warnings: djinn fic, angst with a happy ending, first time Summary: ~hope sustains and deceives~ Dean wakes up with a gasp. He shoots up in his bed, panting, heart pounding, and wide awake. He grips the sheets in his hands tightly and swivels his head to look around the room, making a half-aborted movement to reach under the pillows for the gun he knows always lies there, the smooth metal familiar and comforting. He doesn’t recognize where he is.

Don't Call Me Demon | @angzlicas

Rating: Explicit Word Count: 6,432 Main Tags/Warnings: Demon!Dean, MOC!Dean, Human Castiel, Angst with a Happy Ending, Smut, Canon Compliant, Top!Dean, Bottom!Cas Summary: Dean’s shouting at this point, his eyes pure black again, and Castiel can feel the anger and panic tainting the room. It’s charged with emotion, even though most demons are incapable of feeling anything other than hatred and malice. It feels like fear. Or the one where Cas wants to take the mark from Dean

Life in prison | @notfunnydean

Rating: Explicit Word Count: 7,084 Main Tags/Warnings: Hurt Dean Winchester, Dean had to steal food to eat, Dean had sex for money in this, Thief Dean Winchester, almost murderer Castiel, Semi-Public Sex, implied bottom dean Winchester, Non-Penetrative Sex, Soft Dean Winchester, almost rape (non Destiel), Angst with a Happy Ending, First Kiss, First Time, Alternate Universe - PrisonPrisonAlternate Universe, Prison Sex Summary: When Dean gets arrested for stealing food, he has to face prison at 21. He is scared and his cellmate seems a bit harsh too. Will he warm up to him eventually? Or could he even fall in love with a prisoner?

Four of Swords | @mattzerella-sticks

Rating: No Rating Word Count: 7,127 Main Tags/Warnings: Post-Canon, Human Cas, Baths, Dean Winchester has Self-Worth Issues, Castiel Takes Care of Dean Summary: The Four of Swords, in the present position, means you don't want to interact with the rest of the world. Because of stress, you need to spend some time with yourself - unhealthy always being 'on'. That the healthiest thing to do is to escape. Dean might crave escape, but it's not something he thinks he can have. Something he deserves, even. After his and Sam's most recent hunt, this cancerous feeling has grown heavy and weighs him down. He cannot escape on his own, as best he tries. Luckily a guardian 'former angel' angel swoops in at his lowest. Helps pick up the pieces as best he can and lovingly put them back together. But he can only do so much. The rest is up to Dean. Can Dean take those final steps, say those final words, and finally free himself?

Free To Be Us | @imbiowaresbitch

Rating: Explicit Word Count: 8,011 Main Tags/Warnings: Omega Castiel/Alpha Dean Winchester, Explicit Sexual Content, Anal Sex, Switching, Rimming, Blow Jobs, Claiming Bites, Semi-Public Sex, Kidnapping, emancipation, broken bonds, Suicide attempt mentioned, Implied/Referenced Alcohol Abuse/Alcoholism, Angst and Fluff and Smut, Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Smut, Strangers to Lovers, Alternate Universe - Dystopia Summary: In a Dystopian world, Alphas and Omegas are rare. So rare that they meet only at semi-annual, semi-corrupt conventions organized by Betas, all for the purpose of breeding. Dean is one such Alpha, prized more for his seed than for himself, and untouched. Raised to value the system, he's about to have his world turned upside down, and it all starts with a decadent scent.

Not Here for Me | @mattzerella-sticks

Rating: Teen & Up Word Count: 8,113 Main Tags/Warnings: Alternate Universe - Humans, Alternate Universe - 2000s, Gay Bars, Closeted Dean Winchester, John Winchester's A+ Parenting, references to Dean's bad childhood Summary: If he had the choice, Dean never would have stepped foot inside this place. But Sam was curious - and curious is a hell of a lot better than the depression that clung to him day after day since Jess left him. So Dean swallows his pride, joins Sam as his babysitter. So he won't get find himself in any trouble. Trouble, however, is more likely to find Dean. In the bowels of his personal hell, can Dean resist temptations that have plagued him his entire life? Or will someone descend and lend a hand, showing Dean that the darkness he imagined only lived inside his own mind. And all that he feared was not as he seemed if he let himself step out of the shadows of his past.

Bearing A Heart | @lockandk3yfiction

Rating: Mature Word Count: 9,421 Main Tags/Warnings: Female Castiel (Supernatural); Castiel in a Female Vessel (Supernatural); Genderbending; Pregnant Castiel (Supernatural); Possessive Castiel (Supernatural); Miscommunication; Running Away; Death Threats; Angst with a Happy Ending; Abundant Mention of Death pertaining to an unborn child Summary: Castiel believes she is becoming more human in the way that she sleeps and eats. It’s a repercussion of falling after all. Nothing more, nothing less. It’s what she gives up to maintain her relationships with the people that she cares about. But what if she shared more than a “last night on Earth” with Dean Winchester? When Castiel learns that she is bearing the heart of another living being, the angel decides to do all in her power to protect her child.

Take Your Human Charge To Work Day (WIP) | @pointyearedelvishprincling

Rating: Mature Word Count: 11,222 Main Tags/Warnings: mutual pining, fluff and smut, case fic, top!castiel/bottom dean winchester, canon typical violence, angst with a happy ending, love confession, castiel dream walking, memory alteration, Summary: Written in third person with alternating POV of Dean & Cas. Something's changed between Dean and Castiel. Dean asks Cas to take him along wherever it is the angel goes when he's not around the Winchesters. He's curious, that's all. No feelings involved. It'll be fun. Dean's ready for Cas to take the wheel on their adventure, but turns out some feelings aren't so easy to repress when it's just the two of you. Cas needs some time alone. It's a heavy burden hearing Dean's longing like a constant prayer while Cas is trying to resist his own feelings. Now he's stuck in LA on a case that could have taken him minutes to solve, and Dean is very distracting. Why is it they can only let their guards down when faced with losing the other?

Scentless | @destielshipper4cas

Rating: Explicit Word Count: 11,416 Main Tags/Warnings: Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Past Abuse, Getting Together, Alpha Dean, Omega Cas Summary: Cas lost his mate and his scent a year ago when his scent gland was burned in order to brand him as a barren omega. Ever since then, he has been trying to pass as a beta, hiding his mutilated scent gland under the collar of his shirts. This works pretty well for him, until he meets alpha Dean Winchester, who turns his life upside down.

Mated (WIP) | @destielshipper4cas

Rating: Explicit Word Count: 14,721 Main Tags/Warnings: Falling in Love, Strangers to Lovers, Internalized Homophobia, Dean in Denial about Sexuality, Alpha Cas, Alpha Dean, Bottom Cas, Top Dean Summary: Of course, if Dean had known that it was possible for an alpha to mate another alpha, he would never have let himself get carried away and bitten the hot alpha’s mating gland in the throes of passion. It wasn’t like he was into alphas, after all… Right? Having accidentally mated the most awesome alpha, he might have to rethink some things about himself as he gets to know his mate and starts falling for him.

Scented | @destielshipper4cas

Rating: Explicit Word Count: 19,298 Main Tags/Warnings: Hurt/Comfort, Past Abuse, Mpreg, Alpha Dean, Omega Cas, Top Dean, Bottom Cas Summary: Cas could not believe that a sweet and sexy alpha like Dean was interested in him—burned and barren omega, social outcast with an abusive ex-mate. To make their new relationship work, they have to figure out how to deal with Cas’ insecurities, society’s prejudices, and a surprise here and there along the way…

Tacoma | @ellis-park

Rating: Mature Word Count: 20,055 Main Tags/Warnings: Canon divergent, season 15 breakup, angst with a happy ending Summary: After an explosive fight, Castiel leaves the bunker and Dean decides to let him go. As Cas ventures halfway across the country on a journey to find himself, Dean reevaluates what he needs from life. And what he needs is Cas.

I Will Hang My Head Low | @andimeantittosting

Rating: Mature Word Count: 22,403 Main Tags/Warnings: Fairytale/Folklore AU, Sick Cas, Temporary MCD, Grief/Mourning, Boy King!Sam Summary: Dean Winchester gave up hunting when his brother became the prophesied Boy King of Hell. Now he ekes out a meager living, chopping wood for a nearby village, until one snowy night, he follows what appears to be a falling star, and encounters an injured angel. Afterwards, he tries to put the strange night from his mind. When he meets Castiel, a mysterious man with healing powers, they form an instant connection, and the more Dean learns of Castiel's powers—to heal, to protect, to purify—the more he begins to hope that Sam can be saved. But as they prepare to save Sam, Castiel grows sick, and then sicker still. Too late, Dean learns how much Castiel is willing to sacrifice for him. Inspired by the Decemberists' Crane Wife and the Japanese myth on which it is based.

The Awakening | Eggplant47 (A03)

Rating: Explicit Word Count: 39,144 Main Tags/Warnings: Alternate Universe--Human, past child abuse (not explicit), past rape (not explicit), past child sexual abuse (just mentioned), Drug Use, Drunk Driving, Prostitution (past), Infidelity (not between Dean and Cas), Switching Summary: Dean Winchester had always lived on the surface of life, but a bump on the head and his young, blue-eyed brother-in-law are about to push him into the deep.

Lost Together | @imbiowaresbitch

Rating: Explicit Word Count: 40,551 Main Tags/Warnings: Castiel/Lucifer (Supernatural), bottom Castiel/top Dean Winchester, Alpha/Beta/Omega Dynamics, Alternate Universe, Witch Castiel (Supernatural), Familiars, Animal Abuse, Animal Death, Minor Character Death, Racism, Homophobic Language, Canon-Typical Violence, Depression, Angst, Hurt/Comfort, True Mates, Alternate Universe - Modern with Magic, Mating Cycles/In Heat, Explicit Sexual Content, Claiming Bites, Knotting, Mpreg, Happy Ending, Shapeshifting Summary: Castiel is a powerful Omega witch, but even his magic can’t save him and those around him from his ex, Lucien. When his familiar is brutally killed, Cas vows never to take another familiar because he can’t imagine risking another animal’s life. A wolf roaming his property has other ideas. Meanwhile, his new neighbour, an Alpha named Dean, is worming his way into his heart in a way that Cas can’t resist. Can the two souls overcome danger, broken hearts, and secrets together, or will they remain lost? Through tragedy and misunderstandings, Dean and Cas are destined to be together. But destiny’s road can be deadly.

The Driver | @friendofcarlotta

Rating: Explicit Word Count: 40,963 Main Tags/Warnings: Canon-Typical Violence, Mechanic Dean Winchester, Stunt Driver Dean Winchester, Getaway Driver Dean Winchester, Convenience Store Clerk Castiel, Waiter Castiel, Kid Fic, Single Father Castiel, Angst with a Happy Ending, Minor Character Death, Top Castiel/Bottom Dean Winchester, Inspired by "Drive" (2011) Summary: Dean Winchester is a mechanic and occasional movie stunt driver living in LA. Most people don't know that Dean also drives getaway cars for armed robberies. For months now, Dean has been nursing a crush on his neighbor, a single father named Castiel. When a violent turf war between Dean's boss and a rival gangster threatens to compromise the safety of Castiel and his son, Dean makes a choice that will change his life forever.

(You Don’t Have To) Say You Love Me | @darknessbound3

Rating: Explicit Word Count: 44,379 Main Tags/Warnings: Heavy Angst, Top!Cas/Bottom!Dean, Separation, Reconciliation, Pining Summary: Six months after Castiel walked out on a twelve year marriage to Dean, he decides it’s time for a divorce. Dean, on the other hand, isn’t so sure, and is willing to stop at nothing to win his husband back.

The (Un)Buried Past | @gii-heylittleangel

Rating: Mature Word Count: 53,282 Main Tags/Warnings: Graphic Depictions of Violence, Deaths, Gore and Blood, Angst, Intense Violence and use of guns, background relationships, Implied Smut Summary: After six years of living as a civilian, Dean has gotten rusty when it comes to defending himself. But, when the past comes knocking down everything in its way, Dean has to sink back into his old skin to get back what he wants. Ad what he finds out during the journey is not what he wants.

A Driver Worth His Salt | @thefandomsinhalor

Rating: Explicit Word Count: 67,844 Main Tags/Warnings: Graphic Depiction of Violence, Mafia AU Vibe, BAMF Castiel, Top Castiel/Bottom Dean, Trauma Summary: The job is simple: drive the passenger a few times a week to yet-undisclosed locations and return with said passenger without fail. Be on time. Be discreet. And never interact with each other outside of work. Once twenty-year-old Dean meets the passenger in question—the sharply dressed and rough-looking Castiel Novak—he finds that abiding by those shady rules may be more complicated than he had anticipated.

All the Night Tide | @funnywings

Rating: Mature Word Count: 72,315 Main Tags/Warnings: Pirate AU, Golden Age of Piracy, Mythology and Lore, Temporary Major Character Death, Pirate!Castiel, Friends to Enemies to Lovers, Angst with a Happy Ending Summary: Kidnapped for ransom by his childhood best friend, Dean is eager to return home and escape the pirate ship that has become his prison. But when Castiel sets his sights on a dangerous new quest, Dean chooses to stay by his side, even if it means facing down Death itself.

help me get where I belong (WIP) | ravenkings (AO3)

Rating: Mature Word Count: 73,437 Main Tags/Warnings: alcoholism, substance abuse, referenced child abuse, referenced assault, extensive crafting Summary: Dean Winchester just needs to get through a quick three-month stint in rehab to appease his little brother, then he'll be back to boozing away the rest of his short, shitty life. Except he kind of likes the group therapy leaders for AA, he's getting way better at watercoloring, and the crazy-haired guy on the NA side of the ward keeps winking at him.

Missing | @kitmistry

Rating: Explicit Word Count: 93,025 Main Tags/Warnings: Slow Burn, Murder Mystery, Post-Breakup, Mutual Pining, Heavy Angst, Minor Character Death, John Winchester's A+ parenting Summary: Two years ago Dean Winchester broke his heart. Now he's at Castiel's doorstep, asking for his help, but there's nothing Dean can say that will convince Castiel to listen. Or so he thinks. Faced with the news of Sam's disappearance, he decides to put his anger aside and follows Dean to a rural town in Nebraska, where they end up tangled in the missing girl investigation Sam was looking into. With an unknown threat closing in on them and all the things left unsaid between them about to be revealed, Castiel and Dean race against time to find Sam before it's too late.

All the Reasons We Are Real | @charlies-secret-closet and @jupiticas

Rating: Explicit Word Count: 96,466 Main Tags/Warnings: Slow burn, Mutual Pining, Hurt/Comfort, Angst and Fluff, Canon Adjacent, Sam Winchester Ships Destiel, Destiel Fluff, Abusive John Winchester, Suicidal Thoughts, Eventual Happy Ending, Blood and Injury, Charlie Ships Destiel, Self Worth Issues, Major Angst, You Will Cry, Summary: Sam is tired of it. Tired of the staring contests and the eye-sex and the 'standing two inches apart' thing. With a little help from Rowena and Heller-Queen-Charlie, Sam becomes the matchmaker: and tries to make his ship canon. Meanwhile, Cas is hiding a painful secret about a certain deal, and Dean is hiding his deepest truth. Until one night, when their long-awaited happiness becomes their greatest sorrow. Written in the original canon universe, this fic uses many canon scenes from the series to show that Destiel doesn't need fanfiction to be real. It has always been there, it will always be there, and it is REAL.

Twenty-Nine Steps | @scones-and-texting-and-murder

Rating: Explicit Word Count: 113,621 Main Tags/Warnings: underage, rape/noncon , PTSD, past child abuse, child sexual abuse, suicidal thoughts, repressed memories Summary: At the age of forty, Dean Winchester has a strong, loving marriage, a successful business, and a young nephew he absolutely dotes upon. He and Cas are living the kind of life Dean never thought was meant for him, one where the future stretches out before them, solid and bright. When a series of small and seemingly unrelated events coalesce into a larger, horrifying realization, he’s rocked to his very core. With so much of what he thought he knew about himself ripped away, he’s trapped between confronting the trauma of his past and believing he’s worthy of the life he’s built.

Still Breathing | @casbelieves

Rating: Explicit Word Count: 124,924 Main Tags/Warnings: Graphic Depictions of Violence, Rape/Non-con, Drug Use, Self-Harm, Post Traumatic Stress Disorder, Depression, Mentions of Suicide, Alternate Universe - High School, Alternate Universe - Reunion, Angst, First Love, Unrequited Love, Foster Care, Smut, Switch!Cas, Switch!Dean, Angst With a Happy Ending Summary: Castiel has no reason to trust anyone. As a teenager in the foster care system, he’s experienced horrific and unspeakable acts of violence and abuse that will haunt him for the rest of his life. When he arrives in Pacifica, CA, as the newest addition to the Singer’s foster family, the last thing he expects is to develop a deep and unbreakable bond with the boy-next-door, Dean Winchester. But Dean isn’t as in control of his own life as it seems, and the two struggle to navigate homophobia, trauma, and the pressures of an impending adulthood. When they meet again as young adults, eight years after their falling out, they are given a chance to rekindle a fire that never truly went out.

Patient Love (WIP) | @chaoticdean

Rating: Explicit Word Count: 152,765 Main Tags/Warnings: Alternate Universe - Modern Settings, US Navy SEAL Dean Winchester, Journalist Castiel, Implied/Referenced Drug Addiction, War Injury, PTSD, Grief/Mourning, Friends to Strangers to Friends to Lovers, Misunderstandings, Angst With a Happy Ending, Switch Dean/Switch Cas Summary: Castiel Novak is 27 when he suddenly loses his twin brother Jimmy, and his whole world turns to ashes. After 10 years as a Navy Special Warfare Operator, a battlefield injury forces 28-year-old Chief Petty Officer Dean Winchester to chose between being stuck behind a desk for the rest of his career or going back to civil life. Things are already complicated and painful enough as it is, but when former lovers Dean Winchester and Castiel Novak meet again after 10 years of radio silence and a galaxy of wounds and scars solidly standing between them, it feels like both a curse and a blessing has been placed on them both. Is there any hope in putting back their broken pieces together after a decade, and how do you deal with grief and broken dreams?

The Offering | @deans-jiggly-pudding

Rating: Explicit Word Count: 167,703 Main Tags/Warnings: Incubus!Castiel, AU - high school, John Winchester’s A+ parenting, rape/non-con elements, heavy angst with a happy ending Summary: As a pastor's son, Dean Winchester is expected to be all the things he's not: the church poster child, compliant with every plan his father has for him, and of course, straight. Fighting the confines of his father's faith and the control it has over his life, Dean is caught in the middle of a teen lock-in activity that will change his life. The boys accidentally summon an incubus named Cas, and his demands are clear. Dean discovers Cas to be everything he expected... Yet, even the darkest of creatures has secrets of his own. Can they be together, despite who they are, and despite everything designed to keep them apart?

A Ghost Story (WIP) | @valleydean

Rating: Explicit Word Count: 248,988 Main Tags/Warnings: Temporary Character Death, Alternate Universe - 19th Century, Angst with a Happy Ending, Slow Burn, Gardener Dean Winchester, Rich Castiel (Supernatural), Hunter Dean Winchester, Period-Typical Homophobia, References to Depression, Implied/Referenced Suicide, Suicide, Magic, College | University Student Dean Winchester, Ghost Castiel (Supernatural), Haunted Houses, Established Relationship, Established Castiel/Dean Winchester, Arranged Marriage, POV Dean Winchester, POV Castiel (Supernatural), Witch Hunters, Animal Death, Alternate Universe - Past Lives, Top Castiel/Bottom Dean Winchester, Mutual Pining, Slow Build, Secret Relationship, Alternate Universe - Reincarnation, Soulmates Summary: Castiel Novak has haunted his family's estate for 150 years, awaiting the return of his lost love. Upon their reunion, Dean Winchester learns of his past reincarnation. After the night of Castiel's resurrection, the two try to find out why they've been given a second chance. The answers may be hidden in the forgotten memories of Dean's former life - but sometimes the truth is better left buried.

Time Won’t Let Me | Aketch-22 (AO3)

Rating: Explicit Word Count: 253,520 Main Tags/Warnings: Non Explicit Sex, Closeted Castiel, Hurt Comfort, Harry Potter Crossover, Angst and Feels Summary: Entering his 5th year of the Voldemort-controlled Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry, muggle-born Dean Winchester is faced with the prospect of the Choosing - a ceremony where twelve students are picked based on blood status to participate in the Mudblood Games. In the Games, the tributes are transported to Purgatory. If you're the first to find your way to the portal out, you become part of Voldemort's world - and if you're not, you die. Will Dean, Sam, Castiel and the others be Chosen, or will they simply have to sit by and watch their friends suffer at the hands of the cruelest supernatural threat the trio have ever faced?

The Exceptional Bad Boy | @thedevil-is-in-the-details

Rating: Explicit Word Count: 329,619 Main Tags/Warnings: Alternate Universe - High School, Bottom Castiel / Top Dean Winchester, Bottom Dean Winchester / Top Castiel, Past Rape / Non-con, Angst with a Happy Ending, Slow Burn, Alcohol Abuse / Alcoholism, Drugs, Suicide Attempt, Fluff and Smut, Tattoed Castiel, Depression, Anxiety, Self-harm, Stalking, Minor Character Death Summary: Again, they move to a new town and Dean is so sick of always moving around and always being the new kid at school. And he wants something better for his little brother Sam. But their father can't manage to keep a job for longer than two months. No matter where they are, there is one thing that is always the same though. Dean's reputation as bad boy. It was never a problem that there were already other bad boys because Dean was always the worst. But now, he has keen competition – Castiel Novak. Covered in tattoos, drinking, smoking, doing drugs, breaking other people's noses... Novak's reputation precedes him. But that he's still different than every bad boy Dean's ever met is pretty clear though, from the very first moment they meet.

#destiel trope collection 2021 #day 3 #angst with a happy ending #destiel #fanfic #supernatural #saving blogs; queuing things; the tumblr business

[mercy-burning]

Losing You Twice / Prologue: Silence

Pairing: Spencer Reid x fem!Reader Summary: On New Year’s Day, Y/N attempts a new chapter of her life but finds it may be harder than she thought... Category: Angst Content Warnings: language, alcohol consumption, implied masturbation (female) Word Count: 1,343

SERIES MASTERLIST | MASTERLIST

NOTE: AHHHH the prologue is finally out!! I’m so excited to start sharing this story with you guys, I adore this album with my whole heart and I just knew I had to use it as inspiration for a fic. I hope you all enjoy reading it!!

***

“I know that I should let go, should be letting you go. Can’t postpone it, not anymore, when I know what I already know: What I need is silence. All I need is time and space and silence. Cut communication ‘cause I’m trying to learn that I can lose you and survive it.” —FLETCHER, Silence

JANUARY 1st

Even though the snow outside was falling rather heavily, Y/N left the window open, a bitter chill drafting through her bedroom and settling into every nook and cranny, which included the closet where she was currently sitting on the floor, a glass of wine in hand and pictures laid neatly across the wood.

As her eyes grazed over every scrap of paper, mostly polaroid photos and little hand-written notes he'd left her over the years, the constant ticking of the clock back in her bedroom wouldn't stop.

Realistically it was probably the wine, enhancing her ability to focus on nothing else except the most menial, annoying little things. But she was thoroughly (and maybe a little drunkenly) convinced it was actually Time itself, taunting her— every constant click of the clock screaming at her as if to say, "You! Fucked! Up! He! Hates! You! Now! You're! Pathetic!"

The happy memories scattered about in front of her certainly didn't help. His face kept staring back at her, each lovesick gaze spewing even harsher words than the clock. Just by seeing his face glinting back at her under the harsh white light of the closet, all she could hear in her head above the noise was that one single sentence that's haunted her since Christmas.

"You don't actually give a shit about me, Y/N, you only ever care about yourself, and it's been that way ever since I met you!"

No matter how greatly she professed to him that that wasn't true, he walked out on her all the same, not giving her a chance to explain further. Though, he always took the time to listen to her, so his words coupled with the slamming of the door landed her with the impression that maybe she'd only said it in her head.

After all, she was half drunk on tequila at the time, the other half of her mind swimming with sadness and regret.

Maybe she hadn't fought for him to stay like she thought... Or maybe at this point he was simply done trying to make it work, done with hearing her half-assed promises to get better at communicating, and done with her...

It bothered her immensely that she didn't know.

And when he wouldn't even pick up the phone to answer when she wanted to ask, when she texted him and each one went promptly ignored, she felt like the answer was finally clear.

Now it was New Year's Day, just about ten minutes past midnight after Y/N opened the window, poured herself a glass of wine, and started sorting through everything in the closet. She'd went in with the intention of starting anew, like practically everyone did during the New Year. Though the longer she sat there, sipping the wine and staring back at pictures and notes that only reminded her of the one good thing she'd ever known and inadvertently thrown away, the experience was less cleansing and more daunting.

Everything was loud.

The click of the clock, and the howling of the wind outside as it blew snowflakes around in a near-blizzard, and the constant screaming of every word she wished she'd said before he left...

It was all too much.

So Y/N downed the rest of her wine, threw all the pictures and notes back in their box, and shoved it deep in the back where the memories couldn't hurt her anymore, at least in theory.

But as she crawled into bed, the clock now sitting in the kitchen with no batteries, she was reminded that there was one form of memory that she couldn't shove in a closet and hide away.

She drifted off, the sharp chill from the winter wind still lingering on her skin even after the window had been shut and she'd bundled herself up under the covers.

Even in dreams, it transported her to the night before Christmas, when she walked with him across town, looking at all the lights and finding themselves underneath a large tree. He took her gloved hand and placed it firmly on his chest as she looked up at him, snowflakes sticking to her eyelashes. She admired how pretty he was surrounded by white snow and colorful lights, his cheeks and nose painted a soft pink from the cold.

"I love you, Y/N," he said with every intention of hearing her say it back.

But for some reason, she didn't. Instead, she leaned up and kissed him, hard, nearly knocking him to the ground. And even though she was happy and warm, it was the first time she thought she'd ever felt him not kiss her back with the same fervor.

That should have been her first clue that things were going to decline, but she was so caught up in the feel of his lips against hers, no matter how distant they were, that she couldn't really bring herself to care. After all, it was Christmas Eve, and nothing bad could ever happen to their relationship during the happiest time of the year...

But this was a dream, and now Y/N knew better. She stood there, watching the scene unfold in front of her, screaming for herself to say it back, to yell, "I love you too, Spencer!"

But again, this was a dream— No matter how loudly Y/N yelled at her former self, nothing would change what happened in the past.

She woke up the next morning, cold and alone, and surrounded in silence. Not even the soft clicking of the clock was there to keep her company.

But that's what she wanted in the first place, and if she was ever going to get through this—to move on with her life without him at her side—then she was going to have to get used to it.

And so her phone sat nicely on her bedside table as she grabbed a random selection of clothes and headed to the shower. Maybe the water would wash away some more of the major remnants of his being from her body. Maybe she finally wouldn't be able to feel the ghost of his hands roaming her skin and tangling in her hair...

It worked for almost the whole day, and then she laid back in bed that night, her hand dipped beneath her underwear and eyes closed tightly. She hadn't meant for him to creep into her mind, but it made sense that it would have happened eventually— When your relationship with someone was built almost solely on sex, it seemed inevitable.

No one else had made her feel the way he did... He took such care and precision with her body, drew out every possible second of pleasure until she was out of her mind, and in turn she showered him with praise and loud shouts of his name. Spencer... Spencer!

"Spencer!"

She opened her eyes, hand retreating from her body as quickly as possible as she tried to blink away his image. Her breathing steadied, though a long, exhausted sigh fell from her lips almost as easily as his name.

It obviously wasn't going to be easy, but damn it if she didn't want to give up already and find him the way she always did after a fight.

This wasn't just a fight, though. And as she laid in bed, her thumb hovering over his name in her phone, something stirred in her chest that signaled a bad idea. Not that bad ideas ever stopped her before... But now?

It didn't feel right.

Nothing about any of this felt right. And she didn't know what to do about it other than shutting the phone off and tossing it to the side, snapping her eyes shut and huffing like a child while she tried not to cry.

Plain and simple, heartbreak was brutal. Especially when you were the one to blame.

And that sentiment was the sharp twist of the knife in Y/N's gut, plaguing her as she willed herself to fall asleep.

“It’s like a crutch, see if you’re up. 4am but I like a rush, so I’ll go into your bed, my safety net. Cheaper than a therapy vent, yeah, I know...”

***

PERMANENT TAGLIST:  @elldell1204 @muffin-cup @calm-and-doctor @slutforthegubes @rainsong01 @yourmisosoup @liveloudwriteloud @reidsconverse @la-vie-en-amour1 @edgycowboy666 @averyhotchner @centiaaa @lizziechaseee @coffeeandendlesswords @usuck @spenxerslut @g0lden-cth @emilyprentisslittlewhore @takeyourleap-of-faith @reidyoulikeabook @spencerreid9 @b-a-utiful @jareauswifey @big-galaxy-chaos @flipperpenguins @pansexualthing @donald4spiderman @awesomebooklover17 @shemarmooresfedora @izraahh1 @bakugouswh0r3 @singularityjc

TAGS NOT WORKING: @thatsonezesty13 @ayla-1605

SERIES TAGLIST: @reidyoulikeabook @yourmisosoup​ @fortheloveofcriminalminds @bellzo17 @altsvu @flipperpenguins @mcumorningstar

TAGS NOT WORKING: @reid-to-me @totallyclearwitch

I’m tagging my permanent taglist in this prologue only, so if you want to be notified when I post more from this series, send me a message or leave me a comment, and I’ll add you! Thank you :)

#spencer reid x reader #spencer reid #spencer reid fanfiction #spencer reid angst #spencer reid x reader angst #criminal minds #criminal minds fanfiction #criminal minds angst #losing you twice

[honeytae]

“I want to spend forever being reckless like this with you.”

hi lovies! this is just about the reader and hobi dealing with the sadness that comes with the end of a little visit between tour dates...but of course hoseok (being the angel he is) wants to make their last day together a happy memory instead of a sad one. and yeah he’s just really sweet.... i really hope you all enjoy this little piece of fluffiness <3

tags: @ahgasearmyfan, @hoseokayy, @the1921-monsters genre: fluff

word count: 2.2k

Heaviness. That’s what you felt today.

Glancing out the hotel window, you sighed as you watched the cabs pass by on the street below you. Despite the desire to have one last good day here, you couldn’t help the reality setting in now that it was getting later in the day. You would be in one of those cars tomorrow. En route to the airport.

You awoke with a certain weariness this morning, knowing the dreaded end date of the visit you’d paid to your boyfriend was fast approaching. Hoseok sensed it, showing that he did without explicitly stating it as he ordered room service in an attempt to cheer you up with waffles and kisses.

But despite all his efforts, you couldn’t help but feel like you’d been punched in the gut, mind and body plagued by your inevitable and all too soon departure.

Your fingers pinched the fabric of the curtain as you listened to Hoseok enter the room behind you, flicking the bathroom light off before padding over to where you stood at the window, back to him as you stared down at the street below. 

“I know you’re sad.” He mumbled into the side of your head, you instinctively sinking back into his chest as his hands locked around your waist. 

“I’m okay-“

“You’re not, though.” He cut you off, “and that’s okay, I’m not either.” He added with a sigh, and despite you not being able to see the man, you could perfectly envision the pout on his lips as he spoke.

Wordlessly turning around in his hold, you instantly buried your face in his shirt, his hand coming up to stroke through the hair at the back of your head as he nuzzled his own face in your hair. 

The beginnings of your visits while Hoseok was on tour were always your favorite part. Finally reuniting, feeling like you have all the time in the world to catch up with each other because, hey, you’re finally together again. 

And then the middle of the trip comes, the ever-nearing end date forcing the mood to dampen just the slightest bit, the elated feeling of no upcoming departure fading with each night passing by into the next morning.

But the end; the end is the absolute worst. The only thing worse than the moment you have to walk out the door is the entire day before, the daunting idea of having to leave and be alone once again making the mood sad and gloomy as opposed to the ecstatic joy at the beginning.

And that’s exactly what had happened today, the big storm cloud of sadness hovering over the both of you as you pouted in your hotel room together. The other boys had kept their distance all morning, knowing how difficult it was for the both of you to depart each other and wanting to give you space and time to process. 

Your flight home was early tomorrow morning, and Hoseok had a concert in another country in three days. He’d be flying out not long after you, and you’d be thousands of miles apart from each other once again. 

“I love you so much.” He mumbled into your skin, squeezing you tighter to him as you said the words back to him.

“I didn’t want us to have any bad days on this trip.” You chuckled humorlessly, nuzzling further into the warmth Hoseok’s skin provided you with as he hummed in response. 

“Let’s not have a bad day, then.” He pulled back from you with a smile, causing you to raise your eyebrows at his proposition, taking your hand in his and squeezing it affectionately. 

“What do you mean?” You asked, letting your boyfriend lead you to the bed full of your folded clothes with the intention to pack most of them up only less than an hour ago. 

“I mean,” he started, leaning over to the open suitcase with a grin as he grabbed your bathing suit, “we’re going to have a good last day together, angel.”

Giggling as Hoseok ran with you down the hall of the top floor of the hotel, you tried your hardest to keep up with his pace, your fingers locked around each other making the action only slightly easier as the colors of the carpet swirled below you through the speed of your motions.

The rush in getting to the elevators was entirely encouraged by the fact that you two were less than decently dressed in your bathing suits, running past others’ rooms with your fingers metaphorically crossed that nobody would venture outside. 

Rounding the corner at the end of the corridor, Hoseok paused to give your legs a rest, finally safe from any prying eyes as you leaned side by side against the wall next to the elevators.

Haphazardly reaching over to the panel containing the up and down arrows, you tapped the top one indicating the roof, the button lighting up under your touch as the screen atop the doors let you know the elevator was on its way.

“Shit, we should’ve grabbed our robes.” You laughed breathlessly, Hoseok’s breathing similar to yours as he turned to you with a heart-shaped grin.

“Are you saying you’re not having fun?” He raised his eyebrows at you, you immediately smiling at his question.

You barely registered the dinging of the elevator doors as they slid open, instead glancing into the glittering brown orbs of your man as the corners of his eyes crinkled with the force of his smile. 

“Definitely not.” You smiled, exhaling your last sigh as your breathing evened out, your boyfriend leading you out the elevator doors with a swing of your entwined arms between your bodies. 

Miraculously, the rooftop pool was empty, providing you with some true quality time on your last beautiful summer morning together.

Finally reaching the door to the gate containing the pool, Hoseok held the key card in front of the the sensor, the lock immediately unlatching with a solid ‘click’ before he was pulling the door open for you.

“Fuck, we made it.” You exhaled, glancing behind you to make sure that nobody had in fact seen you, 

After setting your towels and sunscreen down on the chairs set out beside the pool, you sighed, glancing out over the skyline before trading your gaze to your boyfriend’s face, his hands landing on your hips as he pulled your body flush to his. 

“This is nice, right?” He smiled, you nodding with a content hum, admiring the man’s full cheeks from his smile.

“I think I’m going to miss this the most.” You commented, Hoseok’s eyes widening at the abrupt statement. His features softened at your words, fingers softly gliding against your hip in a reassuring gesture.

“What are you going to miss the most?” He asked, making you smile as you placed your hand on his chest. Your boyfriend obviously took it as a sweet gesture, a grin meeting his mouth as he raised his hand to support your jaw, you leaning into him with a sly smirk.

“This.” You whispered against his lips, applying pressure to his chest with your hand and affectively sending him backward into the pool water with flailing limbs. His scream ripped through the air, shortly followed by your laughter as he came back up to the surface with pure shock written on his face. 

Doubling over at the expression, you put your hands on your knees as you tried to regain composure at your extremely gullible boyfriend. Finally catching your breath, you pouted at the bewildered man, ignoring the increase in speed of your heart as he swept his hair back from his forehead. 

“W-what was that?” He sputtered, you shrugging as you sat down on the cement edge of the pool, nonchalantly dangling your legs into the cool water.

“I’m sorry Sunshine, you just make it so easy.” You chuckled, the man’s lips twisting into a frown as he swam over to you, kicking his legs behind him as he reached out for your ankles. 

“That wasn’t nice.” He tutted, glancing up at you with a bit of mirth in his eye, thumbs swiping over your ankles as you hummed carelessly in response.

“I apologize for letting temptation get the best of me.” 

You smiled as Hoseok scoffed at your smug words, the expression quickly dissolving as you yelped at your boyfriend suddenly tugging you by his grip on your lower legs into the water with him.

The water was cold, especially in comparison to the hot air outside with the sun baking down onto the rooftop of the hotel. You immediately understood why Hoseok had come up from the surface with that look on his face, coming up with a similar one of your own as you gasped at the temperature.

“Fuck, that’s cold.” You managed to get out, Hoseok humming cockily in response, nevertheless reaching out for you to hug your shivering body to his own’s accumulated warmth. 

“I apologize for letting temptation get the best of me.” He repeated your earlier words with a smirk, the expression dissolving into a widened smile as you whined in complaint.

“Fine, you got your payback.” You poked at the rounded apple of his cheek, melting into the man’s embrace as he giddily smiled at you.

Sighing contentedly as you looped your arms around his neck, you smoothed your fingertips over the hair behind his ear, Hoseok leaning in to place his forehead on yours. The sheer intimacy of the moment had you melting internally, your heart more content than ever as you nuzzled the tip of your nose against his. 

“Now that we’ve gotten all that out of the way,” he raised his eyebrows in amusement, “isn’t this nice?”

“It is.” You murmured, smiling against his lips when he pressed the plush skin to yours. Placing your hand on the back of his head, you encouraged him to repeat the action, feeling his mouth spread into a smile as he cupped your jaw in his hand to guide you back into a kiss. 

“I want to spend forever being reckless like this with you.” You commented on your chaotic morning escapades, chuckles spilling out of his lips and vibrating yours with crinkled eyes. 

“Will do.” He nodded, the small words simple yet broad with the deeper meaning they held within them. His softened tone had your heart soaring in an instant, opting to glance over at the view to hide your blush from the man. You could see that his eyes remained on you throughout your diversion to the morning sky, heating your cheeks up more before you turned back to him with a small smile. 

“This is exactly what I envisioned our last day to be like.” You spoke softly, Hoseok shooting you a tight-lipped smile before sighing.

“This isn’t the last of our days together, baby.” He pointed out, giving an encouraging squeeze to your shoulder as he tipped his head at your morbid tone. 

“I know that,” you smiled. You did. “How much longer?” You asked, Hoseok flicking his eyes up in thought, immediately knowing what you were referencing.

“Forty-four days. Forty-three tomorrow.”

“So forty-three days without each other. We’ve done nearly fifty already.” 

You meant the statement as a positive thing, honestly. The frown twisting Hoseok’s lips was not your intention at all, your thumb soothing over the corner of his lip to soothe the expression away.

“I’ll try to get some time off, okay? I don’t want you to keep having to fly out like this and-”

Silencing the man’s worries with another kiss, swiping your thumb over the soft skin of his cheek as he let out a sigh against you.

“It’s fine, Sunshine. I’ll fly across the world if it means I get to spend a single day with you, alright? Don’t worry about that.” You hushed, the man raising his eyebrows at you knowingly, drawing a soft sigh from you.

“If I feel like I’m struggling then I won’t hesitate to tell you.” You said, Hoseok staring back into your eyes to try to read the emotions in them.

“You promise?” He breathed out, making you nod immediately as you caressed the hair at the nape of his neck.

“As long as you promise to keep me updated on your feelings as well.” You responded, the man nodding solemnly.

“I will.”

“I love you.” You reminded him, the man smiling a toothy grin at the words he’d never tire of hearing as he tucked needily grasped at your flesh.

“I love you more.” He grinned as you rolled your eyes, wiggling out of his hold as you braced yourself against the pool wall.

“Alright, superstar. First one to get to the other side buys the other dinner.” You challenged him, causing him to scoff but nevertheless get himself into position to launch across the pool.

“When have I ever let you buy me dinner?” He raised his eyebrows at you, you only waving him off as you lowered yourself into the water, beginning to pedal yourself across the expanse of the pool as he furrowed his brows after you.

“Hey, that’s cheating!”

#bts fanfiction #bts member x reader #bts x reader #bts reader insert #bts imagines #bts imagine #bts fluff #jung hoseok fanfiction #jung hoseok x reader #jung hoseok imagine #jung hoseok imagines #jung hoseok fluff #hoseok fanfiction #hoseok x reader #hoseok imagines #hoseok imagine #hoseok fluff #fanfiction #x reader #fluff

[gyucore]

to reach a happy ending

pairing: beomgyu x reader

tags: fluff, childhood friends to lovers

word count: 1.6k

warnings: beomgyu swears like once

prompts:

017: "A fairytale with a happy ending always brings a smile to my face."

023: "Do you believe in love at first sight?"

— requested by ⛅ anon! sorry this took so long to make. i hope you like it!! ♡

"Ew, look at this." You hand the dusty old photo album to Beomgyu who's sprawled across the floor by your side.

"Wait—" He stops you, rolling away before letting out a sneeze so loud that it managed to echo off the dusty untouched walls of his old room. The poor guy couldn't help it, his room hadn't been cleaned since he moved out in the middle of high school, and his mom preferred to keep things as they were— dust and all. You wonder if it was simply an excuse to clean one less room.

Beomgyu did say he had dropped in yesterday without notice. You'd think he'd want to spend some quality time with his parents first, but he'd decided to invite you over after spending a single night under this roof. Having heard nothing but radio silence from your best friend in years, you were thrilled to get to see him again. And what better way to shed off the ever present awkwardness in the beginning than to go through old photo albums?

"Okay, show me." Beomgyu rolls back to your side, scooting in closer to rest his head on your lap.

You turn the photo album, pointing at one photo in particular of you and Beomgyu dressed as a knight and damsel in distress— Beomgyu playing the role of the latter. Contrary to the roles, you were pummeling Beomgyu to the ground as if having caught a thief, and Beomgyu was shoving his handkerchief to your face, blocking your eyesight. The context behind the photograph alludes you, but this might just be a case of seven-year-olds doing whatever they want whenever.

"The fuck you mean ew? I look great in that dress!" Frowning, Beomgyu grabs the album to stare longer at his past self's glory.

"Lying to yourself isn't good for you, Gyu." You jokingly disapprove. It was fun seeing his reactions right after.

"Oh, look at these."

Beomgyu points at a photo of you and him on stage, wearing the same costumes as before. You figured it was for a play back in first grade when you two had been classmates. The next series of photos included one of you holding out a sword towards a kid in a cheap dragon costume, one of Beomgyu holding back his tears after tripping over and ripping his dress, and ones of you rushing to Beomgyu and kissing away his tears.

"This takes me back." Beomgyu lights up with a smile, failing to notice the surprise on your face. "Remember when your mom made us believe that kissing any injuries we had would make it go away? I knew you wanted to help me back then but I couldn't stop crying and tell you were it hurt, so you started kissing all over my face hoping it'd go away."

You find yourself laughing at your past self's foolishness. "But did it work?" You ask in between laughs.

"Well," Beomgyu chuckles, getting up from his position on your lap. "I don't think it would've worked if another person had done it. But since it was you— Wait." He takes one last look at the album, letting slip a wheeze before placing it back in its box. "Mom wrote something right below the photo."

"What did she write?" You ask, holding out your hands for Beomgyu to grab.

"A fairy tale with a happy ending always brings a smile to my face." Beomgyu tells you as he helps you up, trying his best to keep a straight face after delivering that line.

The two of you burst into laughter at his mother's words. You knew she'd been fond of fairy tales all her life but the caption was taking you out. Beomgyu was literally crying in the photo yet somehow this, to her, was a happy ending.

You eventually take notice of all the photos plastered around his room, some framed, and some simply stuck to the walls— memories of happier times. Most were of you and him, and in some, just you. He'd shown off the Polaroid camera his mother bought for him in seventh grade, proclaiming he'd only take photos of moments he'd want to keep in his memory forever. It never actually crossed your mind that a lot of them would be of you.

Beomgyu notices your wandering eyes and chuckles, placing an arm around your shoulder. The distance between you shrinks as he holds you closer. And at that moment, you take note of everything that's changed.

He'd gotten taller since the last time you saw him. Gone was the lanky boy you knew, evident in the way his muscles flexed with every small movement you wish you hadn't noticed. Beomgyu had grown his hair out; the thick, wavy locks tucked behind his ears, covering the back of his neck. The deepness of his voice had been a surprise when he greeted you at the door earlier, but you held back from pointing it out.

You feared that if you acknowledged all the changes, you'd be forced to face reality. That things weren't the same anymore, no matter how hard you tried. After all, Beomgyu wasn't the only one who changed. You had quite the few character development arcs yourself, and experiences which Beomgyu remained oblivious of. And somehow despite that, in his presence, you started to feel like your old self again.

Beomgyu's invitation had come as a surprise last night. You thought he'd forgotten about you, what with all the silence these past few years.

Life continued on as it should even without Beomgyu by your side, but you could argue that all the amazing experiences you've had on your own would've been better if he were there to experience it with you. And now here you were in his old room, pretending everything was the same as he'd left it.

You look up at your old friend, wanting to tell him what had been plaguing your thoughts the entire day but find yourself tongue tied when his dark eyes stare back into your own. And you wonder, how many times had it been that you'd stared into each other's eyes just like this? How many times had he pulled you close into his arms all those years? And just how many nights had you spent wondering if your feelings for him had grown into something more?

"I missed you." Beomgyu speaks first, his gaze never faltering.

Hearing his voice, you swear you could've melted right then and there. Part of you had wished he'd tell you those exact words, confirming that it hadn't been just you who'd been wanting to see him all these years.

"I missed you too."

Beomgyu could only smile at your response.

His arm leaves your shoulder— hands slowly finding their way to your own. His hold was gentle as he slowly guided you to face him.

"Don't laugh, but," Beomgyu starts. "Do you believe in love at first sight?"

"Love at fir—"

The question throws you off.

"What?"

"I heard you the first time!" You cut him off, wanting so bad to cover your face from the secondhand embarrassment. "I can't believe you just said that. What even happened to you in college?"

"Hey! At least hear me out before you make fun of me." Beomgyu bursts out laughing at your reaction, his thumbs caressing the back of your hands to help you calm down. "Judging from your reaction, I'm guessing your answer is a no. And I honestly felt the same too until a few hours back."

"Okay, you lost me there."

"Shut up. What I'm saying is," Beomgyu squeezes your hands, leaning in closer. "I'm sorry I haven't been in touch the last few years. I had a lot of trouble adjusting, and it took a while for me to really get the hang of living alone. I wanted to talk to you as soon as I got there but then I thought that maybe it would've been better for you if I left you to live your own life for a while too."

"Beomgyu.." You squeeze his hands back, sensing the sincerity in his eyes.

Beomgyu shakes his head. "I know this sounds silly and all, but I didn't want you to feel the emptiness I felt when I left. I wanted you to go and make experiences of your own without me."

You frown, refraining to speak until he's done.

"But then I couldn't stop thinking about you. Everywhere I went, I'd think of you and how the place would've been better if we got to hang out there together. Every time I had fun or ate something that tasted good, I wanted you to share the experience with me."

Beomgyu sighs. "Honestly, I thought I could make it through my visit home without seeing you but I passed by your house on my way home yesterday and I just.. I couldn't hold back. And when I saw you for the first time in years at the front of my doorstep.. I knew I had to tell you."

Half of you knew what to expect, and the other half doubted the reality of the situation. But all the doubts instantly melt away as soon as Beomgyu closed the distance between you, pressing your foreheads together.

Face flushed, you stare at him in awe and notice he had his eyes closed shut. "Cute." You thought.

He whispers in a voice so quiet you could barely hear.

"I like you."

You couldn't hold it in any longer, the rush of emotions crashing into you like raging waves against a cliff. The next moment, you find yourself inching closer and closer, face heating up even more as you press your lips against his as a reply.

Beomgyu's eyes widen, body freezing in place. He hadn't exactly expected you to respond so soon, especially not like this. And he couldn't be happier.

You feel Beomgyu returning the kiss, his hands going up to cup your face— his hold gentle. The two of you wanted nothing more than to stay in this moment for as long as life permits, because for once, you could finally see the path to your happily ever after slowly unraveling.

This was just the beginning.

#txt #txt imagines #txt x reader #txt fic #beomgyu #beomgyu x reader #beomgyu imagines #beomgyu oneshot #beomgyu scenarios #beomgyu fluff

[soliverse]

cinderella and the mystery of the red lipstick (sfw version) - d.sc

reader x roommate!winwin

genre: fluff, humor, (optional smut below)

warnings: a bunch of swearing, mean insults and a bit of gaslighting

word count: 2972

synopsis: this is another Cinderella fic, except for the fact that she left lipstick stains instead of glass slippers

tags:

@byutafy for the short notice beta reading. love you!

networks:

@nctcreations @kdiarynet @kpopscape @kwritersworld @culture-cafe @neowritingsnet @neoswitchnet @czennienet @nct-writers

prompt:

The song it was based on was Lips by NCT 127 (although it leaned towards the demo version more)

It was also a bit upbeat because the song Cinderella by CNBLUE (the Youth With You version) has been stuck on my head for ages now.

Enjoy reading!

Love, Ellie.

It was already two in the afternoon but Winwin still stayed lying in bed, clutching his blanket close to his body in an attempt to prevent the chill of the afternoon breeze from coming in contact with his bare skin.

The plan was to stay in bed until all remnants of the vodka and last night's shenanigans have washed away. Or until he dies from starvation. But his roommates have other things in mind.

"WINWIN HYUNG!"

He was jolted awake by the loud noise coming from his bedroom window. Half-awake, he peeked through the sheets to see what the commotion was about.

The first thing he saw was Lucas holding his now broken doorknob in one hand, happily waving it around like a lightstick. Hendery was happily mumbling some bullshit that he didn't care enough to comprehend. Xiaojun was holding a tube-like contraption that he assumed was confetti, Ten and Yangyang were on the side, dancing like the game show girls while holding up each side of a handmade banner stating "Congrats on getting laid!" badly written with a green crayon. Meanwhile, Kun at the end of the line, leaning back at the door frame with his arms crossed while watching all of the chaos unfold right before him.

"Fuck off..."

Winwin grunted and grabbed the pillow under his head, throwing it with full force so that it ended up hitting Xiaojun on his chest.

They seem to have taken the hint because they all scrambled outside, laughing their asses off as they try to get away and avoid getting their asses kicked by a martial artist.

Meanwhile, Winwin buried his face under the thick sheets, trying his best to block the light coming from outside from reaching his eyes, heightening his already throbbing headache. He was planning to stay in bed no matter how loud his stomach grumbled, but his resolve is weaker than he expected. Begrudgingly, he dragged his tired ass out of bed to take a cold shower, hoping that will shake his hangover out.

///

“Holy shit.”

This wasn’t the usual statement that he says to himself whenever he would look at himself in the morning. However, as soon as he lifted his head in the mirror to wash his face, he might as well be an extra for a horror movie.

All over his upper body, especially the neck and chest area, was filled with red smudges. He also found tiny hints of it at the corners of his lips. Upon closer inspection, he realized that it was lipstick.

Whoever he made out with (or had sex with) last night must’ve gone wild and tried to mark every part of him that she could place her lips on.

Winwin felt his heart sink. He couldn’t, for the life of him, remember who he was last night. Just like his body, the memories of her red lips lingered on his mind. But that’s about it.

It took him a long time to squint his eyes and try to recall the moments leading up to him getting on the bed with someone, but it only made his headache worse. Defeated, he chose to let everything go and proceeded to hop in the shower just like he initially intended.

He opened the shower, letting it get to his desired temperature before he stepped in and let the water flow from his hair to the rest of his body. He didn’t move, instead of leaning one of his hands on the wall for support as he closed his eyes and tried to soothe himself with the water pressure from the showerhead. He took a deep breath, letting the air come out slowly of his lips, eyes still heavily shut.

That’s when the memories kicked in.

He finally remembered being in that same position, in a familiar corner of their dorm, as he leaned over to kiss the girl with the red lips. He also remembered the heat, the intensity of the kiss as his subconscious made him remember that he was gasping for air afterward. And so, he resorted to kissing her jaws instead. She willingly returned the favor, which is probably where he’d gotten the smudges that he found that morning, and how her red lips formed a proud smile as she kept on going, painting his fair skin with her rouge.

He sucked in another lungful of air before opening his eyes and hopping back into reality. He’s still clueless as to how the girl looked like, but he was determined to find out who’s the owner of those red luscious lips, and he would love it all over him again.

///

Sicheng came out of his room already dressed up, water still dripping from his hair to the towel that he placed on his neck. He made his way to the kitchen and he found the rest of his friends sitting around the table, smiling like idiots.

“What?”

He asked, already annoyed about how they’ve been acting all day, or at least, for the past two hours.

“Yangyang saw you enter your room last night. With a girl,” says Kun.

“Uhh, duh?” Ten replied, raising an eyebrow at the older as he grabbed the butter knife and spread peanut butter over a piece of bread.

“How sure is everyone that it was a girl?” Hendery squinted his eyes, trying to look intimidating as he interrogated his friend for further details about last night.

“Why is everyone so concerned if I fucked a girl or not? Or if I fucked at all?” Winwin replied in annoyance, coming out almost whiney, hoping that they would cut the questions out and leave him and his breakfast alone.

“You don’t know either, do you?” Xiaojun tried not to laugh as he stuffed a sunny-side-up egg in his mouth, failing at the last minute to the point that he almost spat some of it out.

Winwin sighed. He knows they will plague him with questions until next week and will do anything to squeeze it out of him at the best of their abilities. Him getting laid feels like some event to be celebrated because out of all the guys, he was the least interested in women. Not that he doesn’t like them, it’s that he just refused to do it unless he’s genuinely interested in the girl.

Or guy.

Was it a guy?

Winwin resorted to stuffing his mouth with as much food as he can because it would give him an excuse to not speak further and answer their questions. For how long he can keep it up is a question that he’ll have to face once his plate full of food is decimated.

///

By the time you get into your brother’s dorm, the whole place was so trashed that you even hesitated to proceed inside. However, your mother asked you that morning to come over to your brother’s dorm as he refuses to reply to her texts and respond to her calls that morning.

“Ssup, nerd.”

You always cringe whenever Hendery calls you that nickname. Not that it affects you or anything. It was just so… old-school. You’re a big fan of insults and you would certainly be happier if the nickname was a bit more creative.

“Ssup, failure.” You replied, sitting right beside him as you grabbed a plate and helped yourself with the food served at the table, courtesy of Kun. He’s the only one that’s competent enough to fry eggs that beautifully.

“Mom’s been calling non-stop since last night. I didn’t tell her I wasn’t with you. I couldn’t come up with an excuse so I just told her you slept early because of morning classes.”

Hendery snickered.

You and he have very different lifestyles. He was supposed to be two years ahead of you in college, but he’s always caught up in partying and having fun that he missed some subjects that he had to retake that year. One more fuck up and you’ll be joining him in classes next year. And as your parents’ only hope, you feel compelled to stay away from all the fun stuff until you graduate. That is also the reason why Hendery felt it was his moral obligation to shoo you away from last night’s party, despite sharing the same room as him.

At least that's what he told you. You have a reason to believe that he shooed you away last night just so he can do whatever he wanted without you around to snitch on him.

“Everything’s fine, kid. I already told her the same thing last night. You and I share the same brain.”

“Yes, except one of us has his brain fried by substance abuse and the other has a perfectly functioning human brain capable of making future science discoveries.”

Your eyes then diverted to the guy sitting right across you. He looked sickly and pale, his organs probably screaming inside asking to die.

“What’s up with him?” You asked your brother.

“He had done the deed with a guy last night.” Winwin, with an expressionless face, was quick to throw a flying spoon in Hendery’s direction. The milk splattered everywhere, but Hendery was able to evade it, laughing maniacally as he wiped the milk off of his arms.

“Hey, you’re good with this investigation stuff, right? Maybe you can help prince charming over here find his Cinderella?”

///

"Tell me what you can remember."

Winwin thought you looked ridiculous when you grabbed a pen and a notepad, looking like some low-budget investigator in the movie. He wasn't in the mood to play along, but he might as well humor you and find out what happened last night.

"This may not help at all, but I can't remember jack shit except for one thing," He paused. You raised both eyebrows expectantly, signaling him to answer faster. "Red lips. That's the one thing I haven't forgotten about."

You scribbled the word, red lips in your notepad.

You scribbled a few more words and nodded as if you understood its implication.

"Well, that doesn't narrow down the suspects at all."

You placed your notepad in your pocket and stood up from your seat.

"We shall now go and investigate the crime scene."

///

You decided that the crime scene was Winwin's bedroom since this is where he found himself last.

Winwin saw that you're very detail-oriented, looking at every nook at cranny to see traces of the mystery person around and aid in the investigation.

His room was cleaner than you'd expected, so finding things that stick out or are out of place will be a clear sign of the perpetrator.

You searched high and low, from the shelves to the bed, but you're only able to find two things that might help his case.

As soon as you lifted one of his pillowcases, you saw traces of red smeared across its white surface. Some of it even transferred in the bedsheets.

"Your story checks out. It is red lipstick." You lifted the pillow and walked towards Winwin, who's just sitting at one of his bean bags and mostly just observing you doing your stuff.

You pointed out the smudges to him and he nodded. You then proceeded to grab one of your magnifiers from your backpack and looked at the stains for closer inspection.

"Seeing its transferability, I can say that the lipstick in question has a satin finish. The shade, as far as I can see, is somewhere in between orange and bright red." You grabbed your notepad once again and listed down your observations.

"Know anyone who wears that often?" He proceeded to shake his head.

"Alright then. Now, we ask the witnesses."

You were about to leave the room when Winwin called you out to call your attention.

"Hmm?"

"I think there's something under the bed."

He stood up from his seat and proceeded to walk towards his bed, kneeling as he tried to reach for something below.

You were surprised to see what he found, though. In between his fingers is a piece of thin, lace material, glowing red just like the lipstick shade. It was someone's underwear.

"Yeah… I think we should keep that from the witnesses."

///

"Where were you at the time of the incident?"

As it turns out, the rest of the boys are no more helpful than Winwin. You just finished interviewing Kun, Ten, Yangyang, Xiaojun, and Lucas. The boys themselves barely remember what they did last night, let alone whatever their friend was doing. Meanwhile, the victim (aka Dong Sicheng) sat there right alongside you while you asked the questions. You asked them if they were helpful at all, but alas, nothing resonates to him.

"Hey, aren't you going to ask me about last night?"

Hendery popped out in the makeshift interrogation room (aka the living room) and sat down right beside you, peeking in at your notes.

"Nope. I only interview reliable sources. You can barely remember your stuff sober." You stuffed your notepad back again at your backpack, hugging it close to your body to keep it from your brother.

"I saw Winwin with someone though. He was making out with someone right just a few meters away from his bedroom."

"Go on…"

"I didn't see her well though. She was pinned across the wall and Sicheng hyung's body was blocking the view."

You sighed.

"See. It was pretty useless information."

He was about to say something else, but you cut him off.

"I'll keep them in mind, thank you very much."

///

You’ve finally sat down back again in the kitchen to give yourself a moment of peace to piece the things you found together. Winwin is just right beside you, just quietly observing just as usual.

Everything is laid out across the kitchen table, your notepad, the pillowcase, the underwear (which is kept in a ziplock bag for hygienic purposes).

“You still don’t remember anything?”

“I do remember seeing those before, but nothing is still coming out. I still can’t remember who she is.”

You can tell that Sicheng was getting a bit frustrated. He was trying his best to remember as he once again shut his eyes and furrowed his eyebrows, seeing if there is anything that he is missing.

As he did this, Hendery popped in again in the kitchen, this time holding a full laundry basket.

“I would just like to let you know that I am being a good brother and roommate by doing your laundry.”

“Yes, yes. Thank you Hendery. You did well." You smiled at your brother to acknowledge him, but you mostly did it just to shoo him away from the investigation room. He seems to have gotten the idea and left as soon as he showed the basket to you for one last time.

He shut the door and you were met with a deafening silence once again. This time though, you felt weird energy coming from the guy right in front of you. He stared at you for a long time, specifically your lips, and then he started to break down right in front of you.

"Shit."

"Hmm?"

You asked him what the problem was, but all that came out of his mouth are grunts and a string of curses.

"You alright?"

He was now going between laughing and frustration, rubbing his hands on his face as he lets out all emotions.

"It was you all along. You're red lips girl."

You smiled as you looked at your phone to check the time.

"Five hours. I'm impressed. If that was my brother, it would've taken him a week or two."

"Why didn't you just tell me? I feel stupid."

"And take the fun out of it? Nope."

You then watch him react, different kinds of emotions flooding in at the same time. You laughed as you stood from your seat and patted his back.

"What gave it away?"

He stopped reacting for a while, composing himself as he relayed his deductions to you.

"I had my suspicions when you opened your bag to get the magnifying glass. I saw a red lipstick tube scattered across but I dismissed it since any girl would have lipstick on her bag. I was also confused when you refused to acknowledge the underwear. I saw it from my point of view, but it's like you purposely didn't look under the bed just so you won't find it. You know it was there, didn't you?"

You finally grabbed a seat right beside him, interested to hear what he has to say next.

"And then there's Hendery's story. You didn't ask him to mess with him. It's because he did see us. I remember now, it's what got us in this mess in the first place…"

You nodded to acknowledge him. You've always known that he's a bit smarter than the other guys, but he was very observant as well. That's why he was quiet all the time.

"Lastly, when Hendery came in with your laundry, there was something sticking out," He picked up the ziplock and held it across your face. "The bra that came with this, it was sandwiched along with your other clothing, but the bright color stuck out to me."

"Mhm… " You nodded in approval. You didn't even notice that last one, but he was able to pick that as well.

"And then I stared at your lips for a while. That's when it hit me. It was the same lips that I claimed last night. The red lips that drove me crazy…"

You gave him a small round of applause as he finished his spiel.

"Honestly, you were on point on everything. I'm just sad that you can't remember anything."

His moment of clarity was shut down and he smiled apologetically.

"Want me to tell you what happened?"

He nodded profusely.

It was already two in the afternoon but Winwin still stayed lying in bed, clutching his blanket close to his body in an attempt to prevent the chill of the afternoon breeze from coming in contact with his bare skin.

The plan was to stay in bed until all remnants of the vodka and last night's shenanigans have washed away. Or until he dies from starvation. But his roommates have other things in mind.

"WINWIN HYUNG!"

He was jolted awake by the loud noise coming from his bedroom window. Half-awake, he peeked through the sheets to see what the commotion was about.

The first thing he saw was Lucas holding his now broken doorknob in one hand, happily waving it around like a lightstick. Hendery was happily mumbling some bullshit that he didn't care enough to comprehend. Xiaojun was holding a tube-like contraption that he assumed was confetti, Ten and Yangyang were on the side, dancing like the game show girls while holding up each side of a handmade banner stating "Congrats on getting laid!" badly written with a green crayon. Meanwhile, Kun at the end of the line, leaning back at the door frame with his arms crossed while watching all of the chaos unfold right before him.

"Fuck off..."

Winwin grunted and grabbed the pillow under his head, throwing it with full force so that it ended up hitting Xiaojun on his chest.

They seem to have taken the hint because they all scrambled outside, laughing their asses off as they try to get away and avoid getting their asses kicked by a martial artist.

Meanwhile, Winwin buried his face under the thick sheets, trying his best to block the light coming from outside from reaching his eyes, heightening his already throbbing headache. He was planning to stay in bed no matter how loud his stomach grumbled, but his resolve is weaker than he expected. Begrudgingly, he dragged his tired ass out of bed to take a cold shower, hoping that will shake his hangover out.

///

“Holy shit.”

This wasn’t the usual statement that he says to himself whenever he would look at himself in the morning. However, as soon as he lifted his head in the mirror to wash his face, he might as well be an extra for a horror movie.

All over his upper body, especially the neck and chest area, was filled with red smudges. He also found tiny hints of it at the corners of his lips. Upon closer inspection, he realized that it was lipstick.

Whoever he made out with (or had sex with) last night must’ve gone wild and tried to mark every part of him that she could place her lips on.

Winwin felt his heart sink. He couldn’t, for the life of him, remember who he was last night. Just like his body, the memories of her red lips lingered on his mind. But that’s about it.

It took him a long time to squint his eyes and try to recall the moments leading up to him getting on the bed with someone, but it only made his headache worse. Defeated, he chose to let everything go and proceeded to hop in the shower just like he initially intended.

He opened the shower, letting it get to his desired temperature before he stepped in and let the water flow from his hair to the rest of his body. He didn’t move, instead of leaning one of his hands on the wall for support as he closed his eyes and tried to soothe himself with the water pressure from the showerhead. He took a deep breath, letting the air come out slowly of his lips, eyes still heavily shut.

That’s when the memories kicked in.

He finally remembered being in that same position, in a familiar corner of their dorm, as he leaned over to kiss the girl with the red lips. He also remembered the heat, the intensity of the kiss as his subconscious made him remember that he was gasping for air afterward. And so, he resorted to kissing her jaws instead. She willingly returned the favor, which is probably where he’d gotten the smudges that he found that morning, and how her red lips formed a proud smile as she kept on going, painting his fair skin with her rouge.

He sucked in another lungful of air before opening his eyes and hopping back into reality. He’s still clueless as to how the girl looked like, but he was determined to find out who’s the owner of those red luscious lips, and he would love it all over him again.

///

Sicheng came out of his room already dressed up, water still dripping from his hair to the towel that he placed on his neck. He made his way to the kitchen and he found the rest of his friends sitting around the table, smiling like idiots.

“What?”

He asked, already annoyed about how they’ve been acting all day, or at least, for the past two hours.

“Hendery saw you enter your room last night. With a girl,” says Kun.

“Uhh, duh?” Ten replied, raising an eyebrow at the older as he grabbed the butter knife and spread peanut butter over a piece of bread.

“How sure is everyone that it was a girl?” Yangyang squinted his eyes, trying to look intimidating as he interrogated his friend for further details about last night.

“Why is everyone so concerned if I fucked a girl or not? Or if I fucked someone at all?” Winwin replied in annoyance, coming out almost whiney, hoping that they would cut the questions out and leave him and his breakfast alone.

“You don’t know either, do you?” Xiaojun tried not to laugh as he stuffed a sunny-side-up egg in his mouth, failing at the last minute to the point that he almost spat some of it out.

Winwin sighed. He knows they will plague him with questions until next week and will do anything to squeeze it out of him at the best of their abilities. Him getting laid feels like some event to be celebrated because out of all the guys, he was the least interested in women. Not that he doesn’t like them, it’s that he just refused to do it unless he’s genuinely interested in the girl.

Or guy.

Was it a guy?

Winwin resorted to stuffing his mouth with as much food as he can because it would give him an excuse to not speak further and answer their questions. For how long he can keep it up is a question that he’ll have to face once his plate full of food is decimated.

///

By the time you get into your brother’s dorm, the whole place was so trashed that you even hesitated to proceed inside. However, your mother asked you that morning to come over to your brother’s dorm as he refuses to reply to her texts and respond to her calls that morning.

“Ssup, nerd.”

You always cringe whenever Hendery calls you that nickname. Not that it affects you or anything. It was just so… old-school. You’re a big fan of insults and you would certainly be happier if the nickname was a bit more creative.

“Ssup, failure.” You replied, sitting right beside him as you grabbed a plate and helped yourself with the food served at the table, courtesy of Kun. He’s the only one that’s competent enough to fry eggs that beautifully.

“Mom’s been calling non-stop since last night. I didn’t tell her I wasn’t with you. I couldn’t come up with an excuse so I just told her you slept early because of morning classes.”

Hendery snickered.

You and he have very different lifestyles. He was supposed to be two years ahead of you in college, but he’s always caught up in partying and having fun that he missed some subjects that he had to retake that year. One more fuck up and you’ll be joining him in classes next year. And as your parents’ only hope, you feel compelled to stay away from all the fun stuff until you graduate. That is also the reason why Hendery felt it was his moral obligation to shoo you away from last night’s party, despite sharing the same room as him.

At least that's what he told you. You have a reason to believe that he shooed you away last night just so he can do whatever he wanted without you around to snitch on him.

“Everything’s fine, kid. I already told her the same thing last night. You and I share the same brain.”

“Yes, except one of us has his brain fried by substance abuse and the other has a perfectly functioning human brain capable of making future science discoveries.”

Your eyes then diverted to the guy sitting right across you. He looked sickly and pale, his organs probably screaming inside asking to die.

“What’s up with him?” You asked your brother.

“He had done the deed with a guy last night.” Winwin, with an expressionless face, was quick to throw a flying spoon in Hendery’s direction. The milk splattered everywhere, but Hendery was able to evade it, laughing maniacally as he wiped the milk off of his arms.

“Hey, you’re good with this investigation stuff, right? Maybe you can help prince charming over here find his Cinderella?”

///

"Tell me what you can remember."

Winwin thought you looked ridiculous when you grabbed a pen and a notepad, looking like some low-budget investigator in the movie. He wasn't in the mood to play along, but he might as well humor you and find out what happened last night.

"This may not help at all, but I can't remember jack shit except for one thing," He paused. You raised both eyebrows expectantly, signaling him to answer faster. "Red lips. That's the one thing I haven't forgotten about."

You scribbled the word, red lips in your notepad.

You scribbled a few more words and nodded as if you understood its implication.

"Well, that doesn't narrow down the suspects at all."

You placed your notepad in your pocket and stood up from your seat.

"We shall now go and investigate the crime scene."

///

You decided that the crime scene was Winwin's bedroom since this is where he found himself last.

Winwin saw that you're very detail-oriented, looking at every nook at cranny to see traces of the mystery person around and aid in the investigation.

His room was cleaner than you'd expected, so finding things that stick out or are out of place will be a clear sign of the perpetrator.

You searched high and low, from the shelves to the bed, but you're only able to find two things that might help his case.

As soon as you lifted one of his pillowcases, you saw traces of red smeared across its white surface. Some of it even transferred in the bedsheets.

"Your story checks out. It is red lipstick." You lifted the pillow and walked towards Winwin, who's just sitting at one of his bean bags and mostly just observing you doing your stuff.

You pointed out the smudges to him and he nodded. You then proceeded to grab one of your magnifiers from your backpack and looked at the stains for closer inspection.

"Seeing its transferability, I can say that the lipstick in question has a satin finish. The shade, as far as I can see, is somewhere in between orange and bright red." You grabbed your notepad once again and listed down your observations.

"Know anyone who wears that often?" He proceeded to shake his head.

"Alright then. Now, we ask the witnesses."

You were about to leave the room when Winwin called you out to call your attention.

"Hmm?"

"I think there's something under the bed."

He stood up from his seat and proceeded to walk towards his bed, kneeling as he tried to reach for something below.

You were surprised to see what he found, though. In between his fingers is a piece of thin, lace material, glowing red just like the lipstick shade. It was someone's underwear.

"Yeah… I think we should keep that from the witnesses."

///

"Where were you at the time of the incident?"

As it turns out, the rest of the boys are no more helpful than Winwin. You just finished interviewing Kun, Ten, Yangyang, Xiaojun, and Lucas. The boys themselves barely remember what they did last night, let alone whatever their friend was doing. Meanwhile, the victim (aka Dong Sicheng) sat there right alongside you while you asked the questions. You asked them if they were helpful at all, but alas, nothing resonates to him.

"Hey, aren't you going to ask me about last night?"

Hendery popped out in the makeshift interrogation room (aka the living room) and sat down right beside you, peeking in at your notes.

"Nope. I only interview reliable sources. You can barely remember your stuff sober." You stuffed your notepad back again at your backpack, hugging it close to your body to keep it from your brother.

"I saw Winwin with someone though. He was making out with someone right just a few meters away from his bedroom."

"Go on…"

"I didn't see her well though. She was pinned across the wall and Sicheng hyung's body was blocking the view."

You sighed.

"See. It was pretty useless information."

He was about to say something else, but you cut him off.

"I'll keep them in mind, thank you very much."

///

You’ve finally sat down back again in the kitchen to give yourself a moment of peace to piece the things you found together. Winwin is just right beside you, just quietly observing just as usual.

Everything is laid out across the kitchen table, your notepad, the pillowcase, the underwear (which is kept in a ziplock bag for hygienic purposes).

“You still don’t remember anything?”

“I do remember seeing those before, but nothing is still coming out. I still can’t remember who she is.”

You can tell that Sicheng was getting a bit frustrated. He was trying his best to remember as he once again shut his eyes and furrowed his eyebrows, seeing if there is anything that he is missing.

As he did this, Hendery popped in again in the kitchen, this time holding a full laundry basket.

“I would just like to let you know that I am being a good brother and roommate by doing your laundry.”

“Yes, yes. Thank you Hendery. You did well." You smiled at your brother to acknowledge him, but you mostly did it just to shoo him away from the investigation room. He seems to have gotten the idea and left as soon as he showed the basket to you for one last time.

He shut the door and you were met with a deafening silence once again. This time though, you felt weird energy coming from the guy right in front of you. He stared at you for a long time, specifically your lips, and then he started to break down right in front of you.

"Shit."

"Hmm?"

You asked him what the problem was, but all that came out of his mouth are grunts and a string of curses.

"You alright?"

He was now going between laughing and frustration, rubbing his hands on his face as he lets out all emotions.

"It was you all along. You're red lips girl."

You smiled as you looked at your phone to check the time.

"Five hours. I'm impressed. If that was my brother, it would've taken him a week or two."

"Why didn't you just tell me? I feel stupid."

"And take the fun out of it? Nope."

You then watch him react, different kinds of emotions flooding in at the same time. You laughed as you stood from your seat and patted his back.

"What gave it away?"

He stopped reacting for a while, composing himself as he relayed his deductions to you.

"I had my suspicions when you opened your bag to get the magnifying glass. I saw a red lipstick tube scattered across but I dismissed it since any girl would have lipstick on her bag. I was also confused when you refused to acknowledge the underwear. I saw it from my point of view, but it's like you purposely didn't look under the bed just so you won't find it. You know it was there, didn't you?"

You finally grabbed a seat right beside him, interested to hear what he has to say next.

"And then there's Hendery's story. You didn't ask him to mess with him. It's because he did see us. I remember now, it's what got us in this mess in the first place…"

You nodded to acknowledge him. You've always known that he's a bit smarter than the other guys, but he was very observant as well. That's why he was quiet all the time.

"Lastly, when Hendery came in with your laundry, there was something sticking out," He picked up the ziplock and held it across your face. "The bra that came with this, it was sandwiched along with your other clothing, but the bright color stuck out to me."

"Mhm… " You nodded in approval. You didn't even notice that last one, but he was able to pick that as well.

"And then I stared at your lips for a while. That's when it hit me. It was the same lips that I claimed last night. The red lips that drove me crazy…"

You gave him a small round of applause as he finished his spiel.

"Honestly, you were on point on everything. I'm just sad that you can't remember anything."

His moment of clarity was shut down and he smiled apologetically.

"Want me to tell you what happened?"

He nodded profusely.

(link to the optional smut right here)

#nctcreations #kdiarynet #kpopscape #kwritersworldnet #neoculturecafe #neoswitch #neowritingsnet #cznnet #nct-writers #nct #wayv #wayv smut #wayv fluff #wayv imagines #wayv humor #dong sicheng #winwin #winwin smut #winwin fluff #winwin fanfic #winwin au #winwin x reader #winwin wayv

[troubatrain]

sober - m. barzal (pt. six)

a/n: so after the hell week we all survived in the good ol’ USA my brain finally decided to let me actually write. tbh i wrote this about four times before i forced myself to just finish it and stop tweaking it.

Five

Mat’s kitchen looked like a tornado had run through it. The usually pristine, absolutely untouched kitchen of the young bachelor was getting more use in the twenty minutes Mat had been awake than it ever had. Truthfully, Mat wasn’t a morning person. Mat slept like a rock, and he thought there was nothing besides the fear of his coach that could get him up earlier than noon, but he was wrong. You had him up before eight, hoping if he could beat you to waking up you wouldn’t have a chance to sneak out on him. He did, opening his eyes to catch you snoring softly beside him. He laid there for a moment, his eyes on you because he almost in disbelief you actually stayed. It was a moment of peace, the complete opposite of the mess you’d both gotten yourselves into. For the first time in his life, he wasn’t debating how he was going to get someone to leave, he was figuring out how he was going to get you to stay.

Mat was an absolute whore, and he didn’t care one bit. Why should he? He was young, he was at the top of his game, and his ego got a little bigger everyday. He was just as guilty as you were when it came to his lack of commitment. Mat had never been able to be a good boyfriend, no matter how hard he tried - so he just stopped trying. His schedule wasn’t made for dating, and he never wanted to put the work in. You were different. Something clicked in Mat when he realized how enraged his body felt hearing DeAngelo talk about you the way he did. He was going to let it go, and in hindsight maybe he should have, but he didn’t want to. That protective feeling took over his body because it was too strong for him to shove back down before it got out.

Mat would have told you he loved you after that game, because he does, but he knew he was playing a dangerous game. The reality of what would happen if this was real scared him, but not nearly as much as he knew it had to scare you. You had something to lose, a life that Mat just wouldn’t be apart of. Mat wasn’t in a position to ask you to give that up, especially for someone who you weren’t even dating. Mat knew if he moved too quickly you’d get spooked and run away without giving Mat a second thought. He’d disappear from your memory like everyone before him.

Mat’s thoughts were broken by the sound of your feet padding into his kitchen, your arms wrapping around his waist while you pressed a kiss to his back, “Hi pretty girl.”

This was uncharted territory, the morning after. You’d always been an expert, leaving yourself enough time to sneak out and leave before anyone would notice you were gone. That kept your heart safe, free from the feelings that were present in this very moment. You couldn’t have left last night, slipping out of Mat’s bed and into a cab in the middle of the night, but something stopped you, “Do you actually know what you’re doing?”

“I thought I’d try to make you breakfast,” Mat admits, a smile on his face while he turned off the stove, eggs forgotten to look at you, “I’ll get better at it, I promise, breakfast can be my thing.”

“Your thing?” You muse, letting Mat gently push you onto the island, standing between your legs.

“Yeah, when we fall in love or whatever, I’ll make breakfast,” Mat chuckles, pressing a quick kiss to your lips.

“You’ve lost your damn mind Barz,” You sigh, leaning your head on Mat’s shoulder while you savored the last few moments of peace you were feeling. You were going to have leave his place, off to a four game road trip where Mat was free to fuck whoever he wanted.

Mat’s finger was gently gliding over your face, “If I’m crazy it’s because you made me crazy.”

“You were insane before I met you,” You defend not daring to open your eyes and meet Mat’s gaze, “And now you’re just annoying.”

“I don’t remember being annoying when you were begging me to fuck you last night,” Mat counters back, hands moving to your bare thighs, the warmth from his hands was a stark contrast from the cool counter, “If I’m correct it sounded something like Mat please.”

“Don’t push your luck Mat,” You threaten, his impersonation of you from the night before stopping almost immediately.

“Would I push it if I asked you to stay until my flight later?” Mat asks, eyes full of hope while he tries to hang onto the moment just a little bit longer.

“If you never talk about it again,” You nod, deciding that the damage was already done. You were so far gone a few more hours couldn’t hurt you anymore.

“We can talk about how fucking good you look in orange and blue though,” Mat teases, a grin on his face. You furrow your eyebrows, looking down and realizing just what shirt he had given you the night before. A bright white number thirteen in the corner, with an Islanders logo present on the front.

“Mat if you don’t take this off of me right this second.”

“You never have to ask me twice to take off your shirt babe.”

***

You leaned your head against the window of the private jet that definitely cost more for one flight than your entire salary, taking a deep breath and a break from the laundry list of emails you were due to answer. You were flying to St. Louis for the All Star Game, your plans of a week long vacation somewhere warm with some of the team and their significant others thrown out the door the second Chris stepped in for Panarin last minute. Not even two minutes later, Charlotte strutted over to your desk to tell you that without a need for someone to translate for Artemi, you were the new kid and that meant you had to suffer through the weekend while everyone else took their vacations. 

“At least pretend to be excited,” Chris mutters next to you, taking a break from his own reading and elbowing you in the side.

“It’s hard to be excited when everyone’s on a beach and we’re flying to Missouri in January,” You snark back, pulling your glasses off your face and rubbing your eyes.

“You either need to start sleeping or stop hanging out with that secret boyfriend of yours,” Chris jokes, but it struck a nerve with you.

Mat wasn’t your boyfriend. Mat. Wasn’t. Your. Boyfriend. He didn’t get to have all of you, because he didn’t deserve it - no man does. Nothing about the very small amount of vulnerability that he got to see after that game meant anything. You left that morning and he went on a four game road trip and the world spun on. You could stop whenever you wanted to, move on with some other dumb boy who didn’t care more about you in clothes than without. But did you want to? That was a debate you’d been having with yourself for days.

“He’s not my boyfriend,” You grumble, gritting through your teeth. Technically, it wasn’t a total lie.

“So you are seeing someone!” Chris points out, as if your deliberate words were going to make it past him. Chris held most of the intelligence on the entire Rangers roster, and there was nothing that he didn’t pick up, “So, What's the deal? He doesn’t want anyone to know about you or you don’t want anyone to know about him.”

“It’s mutual,” You hum, sipping the coffee that had gone cold.

“Are you a sugar baby?” Chris questions, a cautious tone to his voice, “Not that I think there’s anything wrong with it or anything-”

“No I haven’t found a sugar daddy,” You roll your eyes, waiving Chris and sparing him the lecture that there’s nothing wrong with the idea at all, “We’re just in a limbo.”

“For what it’s worth,” Chris says, taking a deep breath before he finished his thought, “You seem happy, you haven’t snapped on Tony in almost a week.”

“Thanks Chris,” You laugh softly, popping a headphone back into your ear so you could finish up some work.

***

Mat was in absolute disbelief the moment he saw you step into the hotel lobby. You weren’t supposed to be in St. Louis, you were supposed to be on some island in a bikini making him wish he wasn’t good enough to be selected for the All Star game at all. Mat scratched his head for an answer as to why you didn’t mention the change of plans, but then the thing that he spent his entire roadie before he left for St. Louis entered his brain at full speed.

You’re not her boyfriend.

Mat owed you nothing, and you didn’t have to tell him anything you didn’t want to. Mat honestly knew about four things about you and all of them related to your job. He was dying to know everything, even the stuff that didn’t matter that much. Hell, Mat would’ve killed to see the inside of your apartment at this point. He just needed one thing, one thing that he could hold onto that you showed him that no one else got to see. He was sure he’d find it, especially after he finally got you to stay at his place, but now he was starting to think maybe he’d never crack you.

You were going to just avoid Mat like the plague. The hotel was swamped with players, their families, and any staff that had tagged along for the weekend. The city was still buzzing from last season’s Stanley Cup win and there was not a chance Mat wasn’t going to be busy all weekend, because Mat Barzal was an amazing hockey player. You hated to be reminded of it, because if you could have Mat feed you stupid compliments and never remind you of his job you’d be happy forever.

hotel sex is on the table

and you look fucking hot today

You roll your eyes, checking your phone while you were standing in line to check in. You look around the room, trying not to draw any attention to Mat who was giving you a shit eating grin from across the lobby. He looked good, a white button up tucked into suit pants that were doing his ass justice. You look at Chris, who was too engrossed in his own phone to even look back at you.

pretend like i don’t exist right now and we’ll talk

wanna play a game?

that didn’t go well for you last time Barzy

if i beat your buddy kreids tomorrow night you give me one night

you won’t

is that a yes?

fine

You turn around, giving Mat one last death stare to remind him you weren’t kidding on your plea to pretend you didn’t exist. Your job was important to you because you weren’t Mat. You weren’t going to get paid millions of dollars to play and then retire with a pretty penny in your pocket. You worked, and the stress of losing your job would definitely break you. Charlotte instilled fear in you like no other boss you ever had could, and if you got caught messing around with someone who played for another team while you were working she’d probably just fire you on the spot. Not to mention the heartbroken faces of your chosen family. Mat somehow existed in both a different and the same world as you. He understood your work life because it was so close to his, but he had his own work family and you had yours. No matter what, there would always be some sort of weird divide caused by that stupid rivalry. For now, it was just going to have to be something you’d worry about later.

***

You turned in the mirror of your hotel room, the lacy black lingerie set fit your body like a glove, and you were impressed with Mat’s taste given all he ever wore was sweatpants. You look in the corner of the room, the last piece of his little gift sitting in the box. Mat dropped it off earlier, a note on top telling you that when he inevitably smokes Chris in the faster skater competition he had something in mind. You weren’t surprised by his confidence, but you were surprised by the gift itself. Folded neatly in the box wasn’t just the lingerie, a bright blue and orange jersey was right underneath it, a shiny white number thirteen stitched into the back. You knew you didn’t have to wear it, because Mat wasn’t going to force you to do anything, but you were wet at just the thought of how animalistic Mat would probably get. You tossed on the jersey, throwing an even bigger sweatshirt and sweats over it before you snuck up to Mat’s floor- hoping Chris wouldn’t catch you leaving from the room across the hall.

You pull out the room key Mat gave you, sneaking into the door and locking it shut behind you. You slipped off your sweats, leaving you in nothing but the jersey and your panties.

“Fuck,” Mat dropped his phone from his hand the second you came into his view, “I didn’t think you’d wear it.”

“I wasn’t going to,” You muse, your confidence boosting while you strutted over to Mat. He had that effect on you, the ability to always make you feel like the sexiest woman in the world - even if you didn’t feel like were, “But then you beat McDavid.”

Mat pulled you between his legs while he sat on the edge of the bed, his hands toying with the jersey while he let the fabric slip through his fingers, “You look so fucking good in my jersey baby.”

“I’m proud of you Mat,” You purr into his ear, playing into Mat’s ego just a little bit. You were proud of him, and for the first time you wanted him to know. You pressed a kiss against his jaw, feeling his own breath hitch in his throat, “Can I show you?”

“Keep that jersey on and you can do whatever you want to me,” Mat admits, slipping his hand under the jersey and tapping your ass lightly.

“I’ll keep it on,” You giggle, pushing Mat on his back and getting to work. Your lips kissed down his chest with every button of his dress shirt you got undone, tossing it in the corner to be forgotten about until later. You unhooked his belt, leaving open mouth kisses just above his pants. You slid off his dress pants slowly, taking his boxers with them to let his cock spring free. Mat groaned at the sight, gathering your hair to pull it back for you.

“Wait,” Mat stops you, holding your hair back to stop you from putting your mouth on him. His finger traced your cheek, a look on his face you couldn’t quite read, “I just want to remember this, you look so beautiful right now.”

You could feel the heat rush your cheeks, Mat had called you to dozens of things but never once did the word beautiful ever slip through his lips, “You’re just saying that because I’m about to blow you.”

“No, baby, I mean it- fuck,” Mat groans, this thoughts halted by your mouth on his cock. His hips snapped up, hitting the back of your throat, “You’re so fucking good princess.”

You moan, hollowing your cheeks and gripping Mat’s thighs a little tighter, giving him the show you so desperately wanted. You head bobbed in a perfect rhythm, taking as much of Mat as your body could handle. Mat pushes your head back, taking a look at the line of spit that was still connected to his dick, your eyes were glassy and your throat was sore but Mat would keep you like that forever if he could, “Let me finish.”

“I’m in charge tonight,” Mat reminds you, the tone in his voice sent a chill up your spine. You knew Mat was rough, and a little demanding but he never crossed that line with you, “On your knees.”

“Like this?” You tease, sitting up on your knees to rile him up just a little bit more.

“More like this princess,” Mat stands behind you, gently pushing you down so your ass was in the air. He was quiet, bunching up his jersey so he could get a full view of the lingerie he went out and bought just for you, “Be good or I won’t let you cum pretty girl.”

Mat’s threat with a light smack to your ass, a moan escaping your lips. He slipped the black lace panties to the side, gliding one of his fingers against your folds while he pressed a kiss to your skin, “So wet for me already.”

“Only for you Mat,” The words tumbled out of your mouth, your eyes widening at your own confession.

Mat was thankful he was behind you, because if you saw the way his gaze changed from your words he’d never live it down. You looked so perfect, spread just for him. His jersey. His number. And in his own fantasy: his girl. He snapped himself back into reality, sliding into your pussy that was practically dripping in anticipation.

“Faster, fuck Mat please,” You whimpered out, trying to move yourself to get Mat to pick up the pace. He chuckled darkly, hips snapping back and forth until the only sound in the room was the string of curses leaving your mouth, “I’m close-”

Mat flipped you over before you could finish, his hand grabbing your chin and forcing you to look at him, “Tell me this pussy is mine.”

“Fuck I’m yours Mat,” You breath out, locking your eyes with his while it felt like time froze around you, “I’m yours.”

“Look at me when you cum baby,” Mat urges, his hand still gripping your chin. He picked up his place, making use of his other hand around your clit, “C’mon princess just for me.”

Your pussy fluttered around him, Mat letting out a groan while he tried to hold onto this moment for just a bit longer. He looked down at you, catching your breath from your own high. You hand snuck down to his cock, pumping it slowly, “Cum on me.”

Mat nods, letting you work on his dick with your hands while he nibbled at your neck. He was going to mark you up, make you remember who you belonged to because he so desperately wanted it to be him. He spilled onto your pussy, head pressed into your neck while he came down from his own high. You both laid there for a moment, your hand gently stroking Mat’s back while you both took a moment to think about what just happened. Mat was possessive in a way he’d never been before, and you ate it up without a second thought - that had to mean something right?

“I need to get back to my room,” you whisper, afraid to break the comfortable silence.

“I know,” Mat nods, finally picking his head up, “Keep the jersey, you might need it one day.”

“Your stupidity is honestly astounding,” You joke, brushing his hair out of his face while Mat’s face turned into a pout.

“Can I take you on a date?” Mat breathes out, hoping he wasn’t reading this the wrong way, “No games, no funny business, let me take you out.”

Say no. Say no and never call him again.

“One date,” You agree against your better judgement, pushing Mat away and looking around the room to find your sweats that you snuck into his room in, “Better make it a good one.”

Mat smiles, teeth on full display while he watched you slide your pants back on, “I’m the best at everything Y/N don’t forget that.”

“Goodnight Barz,” You tease, giving him one more look before you left his room.

The elevator ride down was quiet, most of the hotel’s occupants already asleep or still out partying the weekend away. For your sake, you hoped Chris would be fast asleep like the grandpa he was. You rushed down the hallway, Mat’s jersey still hanging loosely off your frame while you looked in your hand for your room key. Your search was stopped by a throat clearing behind you. You jump, turning around to see Chris’s eyes boring into you.

“You’ve got some explaining to do.”

#My writing #mat barzal #mat barzal imagine #nhl imagine