#they never let you even see an application without a viewing of the property first too so they can sus out your vibes

[blossomsbythepark2]

Learn how to Buy A House - Important Tips

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Getting a house can sense you are a huge task, as well as the process can sometimes find that it will never close. Check our top house buying guidelines to make buying a new home easy.

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one Get to grips together with the key terms

When deciding on to step up to the property ladder, many of us don’t know what examples of the house buying vocabulary means, or that going barefoot even exists. Observing the key moving provisions before you make a particular offer can help to make certain the transaction functions smoothly and speedily.

Take a look at our glossary, where you can find the key terms and conditions for buying a home, and their upgrades. This will make every last stage of the system clearer.

2 . Estimate the cost of buying a residence

Your outgoings when ever buying a house aren’t limited to the bank, so it is important to think about the other costs included in purchasing a property the moment deciding your budget.

Much of our quick Moving Will cost you Calculator which will supply estimate prices meant for:

Stamp duty Property survey Conveyancing lawyers Removals An Energy Results Certificate (if applicable) Estate agent costs (if applicable)

In case you are a First Time Buyer and now have been renting some furnished place generally there will also be the cost of getting new furniture to take into consideration. It may be worth verifying sites like Freecycle where you can find furniture without charge in your area.

Provide before you buy

Interested in a new home have invariably been exciting, and with your multitude of online premises agents nowadays it could be tempting to search for ones own dream home as soon as your current property isn't yet on the market. You must not get caught up and fall in love with property before you have a vendor, or you may overlook the house of your ideas to someone while using funds already accessible.

It will almost always be a little more lucrative to sell your household before you buy, nevertheless it really can be complicated. In several ways it can actually become easier to buy a house as a First Time Vendor, as they're solely dealing with one exchange.

Get a property finance loan ‘agreement in principle’

Before buying a property, you should get some sort of ‘agreement in principle’. This is a confirmation on paper stating how much a lender is ready to lend you to get hold of a property. Having a ‘agreement in principle’ may give you an edge over other audience because sellers could know you are an important buyer and have the mandatory finances, giving you the top chance of securing your house you have made an provide on.

Not only this, buying an idea of what a mortgage lender can be prepared to let you get will give you an indication with the maximum budget you have to have for your house lookup.

Check out the vicinity (at different times)

The last thing you are looking for when you settle down for ones first evening within your new home right after an exhausting switching day is the audio of blaring audio from the neighbour’s dwelling until midnight. A great house at 10am may not seem of the same quality during the evenings, therefore it is advised to view a person's potential property with more than one occasion in addition to at different intervals of the day.

Have got a wander around the area and talk to your neighborhood residents. Check out area parks, shops along with cafes. Make sure you would likely feel safe as part of your new home. According to how long you are planning in which to stay your new home, it could also be worthy of investigating the local faculty options.

You should also be sure to take photos indoors properties when you viewpoint them, as upon your fifteenth house seeing they will probably have got started to all unite into one. Getting photos will ensure that the spearate attributes are clear when you are back over ones viewings later. It will likewise mean that if you all of the sudden realise you didn't remember to check something, that you are able to just take a look at the photos : the seller might not be perfect pleased if you preserve popping back to check into little things!

Furthermore, you should also check a Government's Planning Collection so you can find out regardless if any large range building works can be planned to take place which might reduce your enjoyment for the area and the price tag of your potential long term house when you provide on.

Study how much to offer

In addition to being a great way find potential houses, via the internet property searches will show you how much houses in the local area possess sold for or even are currently on the market to get. This will give you the sign of a reasonable make available for the house you may have your eye at and the ceiling expense for the area ın which it is located.

A findings outlined within the report from your home survey may offer an opportunity to renegotiate over the purchase price, as it definitely will indicate any structural problems and what amount of it will cost to repair. In addition , a valuation could be included in the survey to ensure that you are not offering greater than the market value within the property.

Demand the seller to take this off the market

When you've got found your perfect house and you you will need to make an present, you can make the give on the condition that your house gets removed from the market. This eliminates the possibility of other people making a higher provide and you being gazumped even after you have contracted the sale.

Only use workers

Once you have had ones own offer accepted you must employ a conveyancing lawyer to deal with the documentation and legal portions of the transaction. A kit for making need to arrange for your survey to take place together with hire a removals company to ensure the essential safety of your belongings to the big day.

Although it could possibly be tempting to regard the Mortgage Survey as sufficient, you must commission an independent online survey from a RICS surveyor for a detailed check of the condition of your home.

It is vital that you make sure the firms associated with your move tend to be professional and efficient. At reallymoving you only partner along with respected and seasoned firms to give you self esteem in your choice of pros. You can also check their particular genuine customer feedback with us.

Talk

It is best not to try holiday between placing an offer for the house and the daytime of completion. Become around to be retained up to date on growth and ask questions concerning anything you are not clear on or confused on the subject of - it is important anyone don’t ignore a product you don’t fully grasp. The timeline designed for buying a house are usually varied - reasons like whether that you are in a chain, or simply tied up in a leasing agreement, or have got a limited budget make a difference how long it takes move. Be patient, and specially when you get nearer for the end of the operation, take comfort inside the fact that you will basically be done with all of the files!

Book a movers

Make sure to guide in a date to go in advance, and find a good team who can allow for all your items. Consider any furniture which needs to be disassembled and reassembled, and pack any kind of breakables with care. Make sure you allow access for the movers and signal them if you're upon higher floor chiseled (and if there isn't a lift! ). There isn't a reason buying a residence has to be stressful, and additionally by booking upfront, you can make sure a person's move is stress-free too.

Why not review and download much of our moving guides in a comprehensive list of exactly who you need to contact in addition to what you will need to do along with consider during your heading process. Our Relocating Home Timeline could also keep track of the relocating process, checking from each stage you have got completed.

And don't forget to be able to congratulate yourself -- buying a house is often a big decision by using lots of things to consider. Be sure to celebrate obtaining your home with a sprayer of bubbly and many photographs!

[deprecavi]

Following Aether up the path toward the Dawn Winery, Kaeya couldn’t help wondering how the blonde had convinced his brother to allow use of the property for a game that involved people running about with little concern for their surroundings. It was well past nightfall as well, indicating Diluc would likely not be around, considering his usual nighttime activities. Aether’s power of persuasion was indeed formidable. Kaeya was not surprised to see Zhongli had also agreed to another round, the other man giving him a small nod of greeting as he, Eula, and Aether joined him. The fourth player was nowhere in sight, but Aether went inside for a moment and returned with Diluc, much to Kaeya’s surprise. Maybe Diluc’s stipulation for use of the winery grounds was that he would be a player and supervise the event. 

“It seems we will be on the same team after all,” Kaeya commented to Zhongli as Aether instructed Diluc on the expectations of a hunter. “I hope you’ll do a bit better hiding than you did in Springvale, hm? You too Eula,” he added, nudging his fellow captain with his elbow. She rolled her eyes at him but gave him a small smirk of challenge. Zhongli also smiled and nodded. Kaeya observed the vineyard, noting the numerous barrels scattered among the grapevines as potential hiding places. 

Aether had also come up with something new for this round, similar to the invisibility token but without the limited application. It would allow them to, for all intents and purposes, appear as one of the lanterns Diluc had around the winery. Kaeya was looking forward to testing that one out and was already considering potential hiding places, though as he glanced up at the sky he realized the illusionary lantern’s light would potentially give them away with how late it was.

Satisfied that Diluc was ready, Aether climbed into a good vantage point and signaled for the rebels to head into the field to hide. The trio split up, all heading in different directions. Kaeya rounded the manor, ignoring Moco and Hillie trying to catch his attention, though he made a mental note to see what they needed after the game. Activating the lantern token, Kaeya wished he had a mirror to see the effect as he scaled the side of the building and positioned himself in front of one of the lit windows to blend in with the lights from inside the manor. He realized almost immediately that if he had to hang here for the entire duration of the game, his fingers were going to cramp, but he carefully balanced on the window ledge anyway.

He heard Aether give the signal for Diluc to start the hunt and saw his brother making methodical checks of the low perimeter wall around the winery, verifying that each lantern was in fact a true lantern. He went right under Kaeya without noticing him, absorbed in his task. Neither Eula or Zhongli were in the area of the wall either, as Kaeya didn’t hear any announcements for them getting captured even when Diluc was out of sight. Diluc was back on this side of the building again, now checking with the sensor Aether had given him. It pinged under Kaeya and Diluc looked around in confusion. 

“Is this thing broken?” he heard Diluc muttering, shaking the device once and trying it again, prompting another ping. Kaeya suppressed the urge to laugh as Diluc looked under the tables and around the barrels, never once looking up at the window or walls. A third ping with no discernable rebel made Diluc stuff the sensor in his pocket in annoyance and head out into the vineyard. Kaeya’s fingers were indeed starting to cramp now, but he stayed put. If Diluc never looked up, he’d never notice Kaeya.

Aether announced the arrival of the usual favor and Kaeya saw Diluc change directions out in the vineyard and go for it. A beam of light marked Kaeya seconds later and he swore under his breath, dropping from the window immediately and releasing the guise of a lantern in preparation to run. Of course his brother would target him specifically. Diluc rounded the corner of the building, victory in his eyes as he came toward Kaeya, who took off at a dead sprint, leaping the low stone wall into the vineyard. 

“Kaeya, if you crush my grapes I will fucking kill you,” he heard Diluc holler after him, but he didn’t waste the breath on a reply, hurdling two rows and dashing up a third, the irritating light above his head still giving Diluc a clear view of where he was even if he wasn’t in direct line of sight. He hadn’t even stirred the leaves in his leaps, though it had been years since he’d gone jumping over grape vines. He and Diluc had used to chase crystal flies in the vineyard, competing to see who could catch the most. One flitted past Kaeya as he ran, a reminder of those long ago pastimes. 

Kaeya glanced back over his shoulder and saw Diluc still chasing him, though he’d lost some ground by going around the first two rows of grapes rather than leaping over them as Kaeya had. With this bright beacon illuminating him, it was unlikely Diluc would leave him alone to search for the other two rebels. Kaeya caught a glimpse of them both up on the winery roof, looking down at him as he leapt over another row of grapes, neither in disguise at the moment while Diluc was so clearly focused on him. He clambered back over the low wall onto the winery’s patio area, eager for more level ground to sprint on. Diluc followed suit, though he veered the other way, clearly trying to circle the building and cut Kaeya off. Kaeya had always been faster than Diluc, but Diluc had learned some tricks to catch him in other ways, though they didn’t always work.

Kaeya realized Diluc’s current plan almost too late, seeing Diluc round the corner of the building ahead of him as he circled it himself. He quickly changed directions, nearly skidding and falling but barely managed to keep his balance. The pillar of light marking him thankfully dissipated and he leapt back over the wall into the vineyard, triggering the invisibility token Aether had given him. He ducked behind a barrel directly next to the low wall, crouched with his heart pounding in his ears, breathing hard from the exertion of his sprint. The token wore off quickly, as usual, but it had done its job. Diluc had lost track of him, if the muttered swearing from a few feet away was any indication. 

Kaeya realized he wasn’t the only one who had noticed Zhongli and Eula on the roof as Diluc turned back to the winery and began to scale the building. He moved at a crouch, keeping the wall between him and Diluc until the building was between them instead, heading back toward his original hiding place. The capture notices for Zhongli and Eula were fairly close together, indicating the two hadn’t gotten far when Diluc joined them on the roof. Diluc was surveying the grounds from the roof now as Kaeya inched his way back up onto the window, lantern guise back in place. He knew the time limit was getting close, he just had to slip under Diluc’s radar for a little bit longer.

Diluc jumped from the roof on the same side of the building Kaeya was clinging to, glider wings spread. Kaeya realized Diluc had spotted him from the new vantage point and groaned inwardly at the thought of another round of sprinting through the vineyard, but prepared to drop as Diluc clambered onto the small deck railing that put him at nearly the same level as Kaeya’s window. 

“Oh no you don’t,” Diluc growled as Kaeya dropped, and he took a flying leap from the railing, tackling Kaeya to the ground with such force that the wind was knocked out of both of them and Kaeya wouldn't have been surprised if he cracked a rib on impact with the ground. Kaeya wheezed as Diluc pinned him in place with a triumphant expression, trying to catch his breath. Aether joined them with a laugh, displaying the remaining time as less than ten seconds.

“That was a close round!” he announced. “Victory goes to the hunter!”

“You can let me up now” Kaeya grumbled, struggling for air with Diluc’s weight still mostly on his chest. Diluc stood and dusted himself off, not bothering to offer a hand to help Kaeya up, but at least Aether had the courtesy to do so. Zhongli and Eula joined the trio as Aether began to pass out the special coins he’d created for his game, though Kaeya had yet to discern any real purpose for them aside from potential bragging rights for having a lot of them.

“That was impressive,” Zhongli commented, though he was complimenting Kaeya, not Diluc’s victory. “I did not expect you to evade him for so long with the beacon marking you.”

“Neither did I,” Kaeya admitted with a pained laugh, wincing as he checked himself over for bruises. “Though I couldn’t help notice you two just watching instead of hiding.” Zhongli had the grace to look momentarily abashed, but Eula just shrugged.

“Your skilled evasion drew the hunter’s attention and I confess I was caught up watching the pair of you to the point of forgetting my own objective temporarily,” Zhongli stated. Kaeya chuckled.

“My ‘skilled evasion’ seems to have earned more ire than warranted, my ribs will be sore all week.” Diluc pointedly ignored the remark, thanking Aether for his time and heading into the vineyard to check for damage to his precious grapes, though Kaeya hadn’t really seen Eula or Zhongli go into the fields. Diluc wasn’t likely to take his word that he hadn’t done any damage himself in his frantic leaps to get away. He still didn’t understand what had prompted Diluc to accept Aether’s game being hosted here at all, but supposed it wasn’t really his place to ask, not any more. 

Kaeya excused himself and headed back toward Mondstadt, fully intending to pay a visit to the cathedral for his sore ribs. If he was going to accept another invitation to Aether’s game in the future, he wanted to be able to run without wincing. Still, it had been kind of amusing to see Diluc tearing around after him, a nostalgic moment that let him forget the walls that lay between them now for a bit. It was worth a little pain for that brief return to happier times.

#windtrace #now with sibling rivalry #genshin impact #kaeya #diluc #aether #zhongli #eula #to my knowledge i have not played with the same person more than once #but there are a lot of eula and zhongli players lol #this is actually three rounds at the winery. the hunter who pinged but did not catch me was eula #that earned me 'in broad daylight' which made me laugh #the one who marked with hunters intuition and chased me but did not catch me was lumine #and my teammates were very impressed that i escaped. so was i tbh #i was like how freaking long is this light going to mark me #diluc actually did catch me with almost no time left #the sun came up and i wasn't blending in so well any more lol #also i think i was more visible when he jumped from the roof #but he did go below me several times without seeing me #genshin impact writing #my writing

[softjeon]

Falling for you | Pt. 1

• Pairing: Jimin x Namjoon • Genre: fluff, nsfw-content  | Rating: Mature | Christmas!AU / Curse!AU • Words: 4,1k | AO3 • Disclaimer: mentioning of blood, accidents, alcohol

written with @cassiavioletblue​

↳  Everyone told him that love was the highest aim, that it was what completes you and made you happy…but he was never lucky like that. It just took a piece of him and left scars on his heart every time. He was done with that. He had given up on love a long time ago so he should stick to it or else not only he would be affected.

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He glanced up at the luxury property as he crossed the street walking towards it. A massive twenty-something story modern building of tinted glass and stone. In front of it, there was a doorman wearing white gloves and dressed in a long red coat hailing for a taxi for an old man, before opening the door for him with a big smile. A shy thank you came from his lips, as he slipped into the building where he felt even more out of place than before. Maybe he should have decided to wear something else? He had never been to this part of the town and had never planned to do so. Usually, he had no business being here. But he really needed the money. 

He frowned, trying to ignore the fact that the chandelier hanging in the lobby probably cost more than he had ever spent in his entire life, walking up to the elevators to push the button, Jimin took a deep breath.

… 

"Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, jingle all the way!" His voice was echoing through the hallway, as Jungkook wiggled happily, dancing around, while holding a bunch of folders in his hands. "Oh, what fun it is to ride…" His singing stopped abruptly, when someone's chest hit his nose, making him stumble back. Jungkooks gaze wandered up the dark blue tie until he met his boss's eyes. "I know, I know. You're more the Halloween type of guy but the spooky season is over, Mr. Kim. Only four more weeks until Christmas!" A big grin appeared on his face as he pushed the folders into Namjoons hold. "No more warlocks, demons or witches. Just cinnamon, cookies, presents ...and love. It's my personal mission to get you into the mood, sir." 

“Then I’m afraid I have to tell you your personal mission is bound to fail spectacularly.” He wipes a bit of glitter from the folders that he has no idea where it came from as Jungkook isn’t carrying actual Christmas decoration but he wouldn’t be surprised if Jungkook love for Christmas would manifest in glitter that magically appears on people who hate Christmas whenever he is near. 

He wonders how someone can be so happy about a season where you have to hear the same songs you had to listen to all the years before, where everyone is stressed but points out that it's about ‘peace and family’ while everyone is getting crazy about how many presents they still have to buy and how much money it’s going to cost. He hates it with a passion, honestly, but keeps it to himself. Maybe it’s also because it’s supposed to be the ‘season of love’ and he closed that chapter a long, long time ago.

Jungkook frowned a little, but it was soon replaced with a smile again. “Are you always this self-fulfilling prophecy type? With this mood, how are you supposed to even enjoy the most wonderful time of the year? He sang the last part of it, posing as he stretched out his arms with jazz hands as if he’d just finished a massive dance piece waiting for his applause. But there was none. “Can’t believe I took the spot,” He sighed dramatically, “If I had known I’d be working for the grinch himself…” Jungkook grinned teasingly, knowing that Namjoon could take a joke - or else he really wouldn’t have been working for him as his personal assistant. It was his dream job actually. 

When he first arrived at the interview, Jungkook didn’t think he’d stand a chance against all the other people with far more expertise than he had. Kim Designs was a very well-known Company, that Jungkook always had admired and in a ‘go big or go home’ moment, he had filled out the application in the middle of the night, a little frustrated and drunk on wine after being dismissed for the nth time by various of companies because of his lack of experience. And to his own surprise, the former assistant had called him in for an interview. The elegance, the simplicity and yet, the intricate little details that were Kim Namjoon’s trademark were always a personal favorite of Jungkook and although he still wasn’t so sure why he had picked him, he was happily working for him now. 

“But you’re coming to the office party, right?” Jungkook asked with a raised eyebrow, before another sigh came from him. “The Christmas party? In your office? That is every year and you never attend?” The ring of the doorbell made Jungkook walk a little more backwards towards the elevator that was about to arrive on their level, without leaving his boss out of view. “I told everyone you were coming this year. Said you were really happy about it!”

Namjoon just pulled a face, “You’re lucky I need you or I would send you straight out to door so you can bring your Christmas-nonsense somewhere else!” The truth was Jungkook was the best that could have happened to this company and he was really fond of him so he would keep him no matter how crazy he would get during those last two months of the year. 

The party would probably be like every year: He paid for it, for delicious food and colorful drinks, for decorations and little surprises - all made by a party company of course so he didn’t have to even step foot in the room. No one expected him to be there anyways, except for Jungkook maybe, who somehow never ran out of hope and determination.

“You can say it, Joon! You love me!” Jungkook winked at him, before turning around swiftly just right at the moment the elevator stopped. He pushed the button and the two metal doors slid open. Knowing about Namjoon’s appointment, Jungkook was keeping a smile on his face, awaiting the substitute maid that Hayoung wanted to send in, while she was on vacation. 

Inside the elevator, he was realizing that he was facing the wrong way, Jimin turned around with blushed cheeks. “I’m here to see Kim Namjoon. I’m supposed to be taking over for Hayoung.” He spoke as calm as he could, trying to cover up the fact how nervous he was. He knew who Kim Namjoon was. Everyone did. 

“That would be me.” Namjoon tried to hide the fact that the person in front of him was nothing like he had expected. Hayoung was a sweet old woman, the motherly type and somehow when she had said she would get someone to cover for her during her holiday Namjoon had thought she would ask a friend, someone her age. However, the boy in front of him couldn’t be older than himself! And he was pretty enough to be a model with full lips and a soft smile that turned a little shy when Namjoon looked too long at him. He cleared his throat, getting himself together before walking ahead. “Let’s go to my office, there we can do the formalities and we can decide when exactly you will start. I suppose Hayoung already explained all your duties to you before she sent you here?”

Jimin gave him a nod, passing Jungkook with a smile, who turned back around to let his eyes wander up and down the maid’s back. His eyes widened as he raised his eyebrows at Namjoon, pursing his lips into an appreciative nod. Pointing at the young man, he gave his boss a thumbs up, his mouth shaping all kinds of ‘wow’ and ‘omg’ words as he walked into the elevator. To top it all off Jungkook began to form hearts with his hands before he started to hum ‘all I want for Christmas’ again.  

Namjoon furrowed his brows, shaking his head at Jungkook to tell him to stop. He received a very confused look from Jimin and realized that the younger’s relaxed and confident facade was slowly but surely starting to crumble. Was he scared of him? It didn’t surprise him when people from outside believed the media that painted him as an ice cold, scary, power hungry man because of his sudden success but he would have thought that Hayoung had told Jimin that he wasn’t like that. He opened the door for Jimin and the younger almost stumbled when he stepped on the carpet. 

What a great start for someone who was supposed to clean his precious apartment… 

Jimin sat down on one of the chairs in front of Namjoon’s desk, folding his hands together to keep them from nervously shaking. Was his expression already a ‘no’? Had he found someone else?

“Hayoung told me everything I need to know.” He began answering Namjoon’s question from before. “What your preferences are, where I can find everything, and she gave me a list of duties that need to be done daily or weekly. Oh, and of course the list of things I shouldn’t touch. She made sure I studied it well, before coming here, so I hope I can replace her for her vacation accordingly.” Jimin took out a thin folder, holding it out for Namjoon to take. “My personal information as requested.”

Namjoon put it aside right away, never taking his gaze from Jimin. He could read that later. What was way more important to him was if he could trust Jimin to stick to the rules, to not sniff around or steal or…worse. “Why did you take this job, Jimin? I’m sure you have better options than cleaning, don’t you?” He cut straight to the point. 

Jimin froze on the spot like a deer in headlights.

“I mainly work as a florist but as you might know, it’s a job you have to do with all of your heart and yet, it doesn’t pay much. That’s how I know Hayoung. She always comes to buy fresh flowers for years. I assume some of them were even for your apartment.” He explained without hesitation. “I’m not really the type to work in a bar or be a waiter. I don’t mind cleaning, though and Hayoung has been speaking so kindly about you.” He smiled at Namjoon, feeling a lot more at ease the more he was talking. “And it’s Christmas, Mr. Kim. I hope you don’t mind me saying this, but I could use a little extra money.”

“Money won’t be the problem, I pay well - if you do your job right. If you have a problem or need more cleaning supplies or anything comes up you can talk to me. And I mean talk to me first. My apartment is very personal and private and exclusively visited by me. As you might have guessed there are things that are of utmost importance to me. I am very peculiar about order and privacy and that you keep everything you see and hear to yourself. Do you think you can handle the weight of this responsibility?” He downright stared at Jimin by now who didn’t seem to know where to look.

“Absolutely,” Jimin’s smile reached his ears, looking up at him with a smile, before averting his gaze shyly again. In front of him sat a man with way more influence than he could ever dream of. He could destroy him and his reputation with a snap of his fingers. Jimin had absolutely no interest in angering him. Hayoung had explained it to him perfectly, the need for order and privacy, when it came down to the newest collection. Just one word to the wrong person could mean a great damage for Kim Designs.  

“Then I’m glad to have you here.” He pushed the paperwork over to Jimin. “Please fill those in before you start. The money will be transferred to you at the end of your job. Two weeks, is it? Unless you need it sooner, then I can talk to Jungkook and he will figure something out as I trust you wouldn’t get Hayoung or yourself into trouble by just taking the money and vanishing.”

“That’s fine,” Jimin took a pen and began to fill out the form quickly but thoroughly. “When do you want me to start?” He asked, lifting his head to look at Namjoon again. “Oh, Hayoung hadn’t told me about it, but I happened to notice there was no decoration. Do you want me to set up some Christmas lights? I bet they would look great in your entrance.” 

“No!” He blurted out, startling Jimin so much the pen slipped over the paper. He felt immediately sorry for him. “Ah, sorry for that, it’s just... I don’t really like the whole Christmas ordeal. It’s Jungkook who makes a fuss about it. Jungkook my personal assistant, you’ve seen him pass you at the elevator but I’m sure you’ll get to know him properly some other time, he basically handles my schedule on his own for me.” The alarm on his watch reminded him that he had to be in a zoom meeting in ten minutes, so he got up and Jimin mirrored him right away. “As for when you start, the sooner the better.” He got out his set of spare keys from the drawer and gave them over to Jimin. “These are my keys, don’t lose them or you’ll have to pay for the locksmith. You can let yourself in whenever you want, I often work late so you can clean whenever your other job allows it. Take your time in the beginning, I’d rather pay for an extra hour than coming home to a half-cleaned apartment.”

Still confused about his behavior but with a smile, Jimin took the keys from him. “I will do my best.” Was all he could say, before Namjoon had closed the office door right in his face, leaving Jimin startled once more. 

Taking his bag, Jimin placed it on the kitchen counter and looked around the apartment. He could hear faint noises of a conference call behind the office door and because he didn’t want to be noisy and listen, Jimin took out his notepad, where he had scribbled down everything important that Hayoung had told him. 

The apartment was far bigger than he had imagined, so Jimin was glad for the order of tasks he was given or else he’d have probably felt a little overwhelmed. After dusting off the shelves and cleaning up each and every counter, Jimin was sweeping the floor, making sure he didn’t miss a spot, and everything was back at its place just like before. Not an inch too far to the left or right. Just like Namjoon wanted it. 

Hayoung would have been proud of him, Jimin thought to himself, when he pushed the button of the elevator again, waiting with a content smile. 

…

“So, when was the moment you wanted to tell me Hayoung would send such a bombshell, huh? Is he single? Maybe I could slip my number in...or drop my card here somewhere...He probably is married, right?” Jungkook let out a small whine, as he looked up from his notepad, where he had scribbled down everything Namjoon had said in the last twenty minutes. “You know what you should have done, make him wear a maid’s costume.” He grinned, leaning back a little, “I’m just joking!” Raising his hands in defense, he added quietly, “You can’t deny he’d look good in it, or well, he probably looks good in anything. What was his name again?”

“I didn’t know who Hayoung would send and I also don’t care how he looks.” The last part was a blatant lie, but he knew if he confessed that he thought Jimin was very attractive Jungkook would never let him live it down. Also, he refused imagining Jimin in a maid costume (maybe at home in his bedroom when he was alone...) 

“I don’t know if Jimin is married…” Jimin didn’t wear a ring on his finger but maybe he was wearing it on a necklace under his clothes “...but you better be quick if you want to ask him out because he will only be here for a couple of weeks.”

He placed his pen aside and looked directly at Jungkook. “Is there anything else on my schedule today? If not I’ll leave you to your swooning over Jimin to make some private calls.”

Jungkook shook his head, as he got up and took his bag with him. On his way out, the elevator already opened up before he could even push the button and Jimin smiled right back at him. Jungkook greeted him with a light bow, slipping into the elevator while the other passed him.

Jimin was holding onto something wrapped in paper and only the green ends sticking out told Namjoon what it was: flowers. 

“I thought you might like them on your dinner table?” The younger man walked up to Namjoon, showing him the bouquet of flowers. “Do you like them? I arranged them just how I’d normally do it for Hayoung, just added a little more...now that I know what your lovely home looks like.” His eyes fell onto the phone in the other’s hand and the papers in front of him that indicated the other was still working and quickly added. “Maybe they make working a little easier if you can look at something pretty. I’ll put them in a vase for you and then you can decide.” 

“That’s nice.. thank you.” Namjoon was a little overwhelmed. Normally he asked Hayoung to get flowers for birthdays or celebrations; he rarely got them for himself for no reason. However, Jimin had a well-trained eye and the light, soft colors brightened the room very nicely. The call that he was about to make was forgotten as he put the phone aside, following Jimin into the kitchen where the younger was busy filling the vase. “Did the cleaning go well?” He asked after a moment of silence, because he didn't know how else to start a conversation with Jimin.

“Yeah,“ Jimin cocked his head aside, looking at Namjoon with a smile. “Did I miss anything last night? I’m sorry if I missed a spot, I tried working off the list Hayoung gave me. Maybe you want to look it over and see if everything is included?” He arranged the flowers a little more, so they looked perfect, before turning it around to Namjoon to make him see. “I didn’t vacuum your office though, as you were still working when I was finishing everything. Are you always working this late, Mr. Kim?”

“No, no, it was perfect.” Had he sounded like he was questioning Jimin or wanted to reprimand him? Namjoon pressed his lips together. He really didn’t have a talent for small talk. He could handle a room full of people easily - if it was a meeting. But as soon as he tried to talk casually with someone it backfired.

“You made the right decision, please don’t try to vacuum my office while I’m still in it.” He tried a small smile. “I’m in contact with people from various time zones that's why I’ll have to be in my office during strange hours.” He explained, keeping it to himself that yesterday he had simply lost track of time.

“Just making sure you’re not overworking yourself. Even a busy man like you need to rest. I don’t think you come up with all your ideas on sleep deprivation…” Jimin pushed the vase over to Namjoon carefully. “Do you mind placing it onto the table for me?” He turned around to open the cabinet with the cleaning supplies to get out all the things he needed today. There was no need to do all the rooms daily, so he was switching routines, taking out the piece of paper again to check Hayoung's notes. 

Namjoon didn’t move, holding the vase to his chest but keeping his eyes on Jimin, fixated by the way the younger licked his lips in thoughts while studying his list or how he pushed the hair away from his face. He wondered if it was as soft as it looked…

He was about to head to the stairs that lead to Namjoon’s bedroom, when Jimin noticed the vase still being in his hands. Jimin chuckled, looking up the taller man. “The dinner table, Mr. Kim. Or do you want it to be somewhere else? Should I take them up to your bedroom maybe?” Namjoon’s stare made him nervous, the long gaze he was holding made him avert his own. “Is…is there something on my face?” Jimin wiped over his cheeks nervously. He had quickly eaten some sandwich on his way over here, after he had closed his shop, so he wondered if there was sauce on his face. That would be more than embarrassing!

“Ah, dinner table of course!” He rather had Jimin thinking that he hadn’t been sure where to put the flowers then confess that he had been caught by how beautiful Jimin was. He was also pretty sure that Jimin was doing all those lovely little things that made him so charming without even realizing it. “Your face is fine.” He answered Jimin’s question a little stupidly, leaving it at that without giving another explanation, simply because he didn’t have any that wouldn’t include how he could stare at Jimin for hours without any reason.

Jimin couldn’t help but giggle at Namjoon’s cuteness. It was strange to see a man, who he only thought of a well-known designer, someone wealthy and smart so flustered out of a sudden. It was kind of cute.

Walking up the staircase, Jimin smiled at the other over his shoulder when out of a sudden he stumbled forward and over the rug that was laid out at the top. Falling hard on his knees, Jimin yelped in pain, just for it to turn into laughter, quickly giving Namjoon a sign that he was doing okay. 

Namjoon hurried over to him, nonetheless. “Are you okay? Did you slip?” Jimin fell so quickly that he hadn’t seen anything at all. Hopefully the other wasn’t hurt because - and he felt a little guilty thinking this - if he couldn't come clean then Namjoon would have no possibility to see him again. And he really wanted to see him…

 “I’m fine,” Jimin was about to get up, when Namjoon’s strong grip pulled him up easily. “Oh, please don’t worry.” He quickly waved the other off, I just stumbled over your rug, that’s all. I’m usually not very clumsy, but I think looking one way and going the other is never a good idea.” His eyes fell down to where Namjoon was still holding onto him and his heart skipped a beat, quickly trying to cover the blush appearing on his cheeks while he brushed off his knees. “It’s best I fall up the stairs, not down, right?”

Namjoon chuckled. “If you put it that way then yes, please only fall up the stairs.” They were standing a little too close together from how he had pulled Jimin up but neither of them stepped away. Up close like this he could see Jimin’s eyelashes that fanned out beautifully, hiding Jimin’s eyes with the way the younger was looking down right now. There was a rosy blush high on Jimin’s cheekbones and Namjoon almost brushed over it out of instinct, before he quickly stepped away, shocked by his own desires. What the hell was he doing here?

Jimin flinched from the sudden step back when moments before he had gotten lost in Namjoon’s eyes. “I ehm…I need to be in your bedroom.” He stuttered the words nervously, realizing too late how they sounded. “I mean…clean your bedroom. I wanted to change the sheets and…that’s where I need to be. Not in the sheets, I eh…” Jimin was about to slap himself, feeling his cheeks flush red as he grabbed the cleaning utensils again and taking another step away from Namjoon. 

With that Jimin vanished so quickly Namjoon couldn’t even utter another word. Which was probably better because else he might have told that he would very much like it to have Jimin in his bedroom and in his sheets. 

Namjoon shook his head hoping to get rid of those strange ideas. What was he doing? One night stands where fine but this? This was dangerous. He had given up on love a long time ago so he should stick to it or else not only he would be affected but also Jimin. 

The poor boy had no idea what he had gotten himself into, he was just sweet and charming and Namjoon should make sure to keep his distance from now on if he didn’t want to destroy that.

A/N: Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells... Let’s get into the christmas mood with a little love story shall we ;) Once more we couldn’t keep ourselves from writing our favorite pairings. Thats how it is now lmao. Anyways...why is Namjoon afraid of affecting someone with falling in love? What’s happening there huh???

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[reversecreek]

MEET THE NPCS...

BOBBY YANG, “BIG BOB” .

1. how old are they and what do they look like?

thirty-four. implausibly tall. the day magda first saw a sketch of slenderman she thought of him. when her aunt shelly pulled up the dirt road to abernathy creek magda remembers seeing him through a dusty back window with his head bowed to avoid getting tree leaves in his eyes, joint between his lips, dungarees dirty and half unbuckled. one side of his hair is buzzed with no apparent style intention and he has a weed leaf tattooed behind his left ear. an elephant on his thigh. a name on his ankle he often wears a plaster over. once it soaked through and fell off in the creek and, newly glossy in the sun, nine year old magda reached to give it a blunt and shameless prod. big bob never explained who the name belonged to, he only reached to thumb at the minari growing by the water bed and talk about the fact it was a "versatile little sucker”. 

2. if applicable, where and when did they meet your muse?

big bob introduced himself as such and magda raised her eyebrow in disbelief, the soul of a disgruntled pensioner in a seven yr old’s body. magda didn’t rly talk to anyone when she first arrived in her new home, verging on mute. she was angry at the move, angry that her dad hadn’t called her when she got there, angry that she didn’t know her mother’s voice to imagine it telling her everything was okay. the world made her so angry she didn’t want to acknowledge it. she sat outside in silence for a long time letting a ladybug crawl over her hand, and big bob didn’t ask anything of her, he only schlepped closer and presented her with a buttercup. she looked at it like it’d spat in her face but took it nonetheless. it was strange having an actual bed, if you could call a bare mattress that, used to sleeping on the sofa in shelly’s old trailer, and the springs nipped at her like a dog demanding treats, so she wandered outside in one of shelly’s big tie dye shirts like a nightdress, searching for the moon. big bob was standing out there already in the overgrown grass, stark naked, chin lifted to gawk at the moon himself. magda didn’t disturb him. this is when she first discovered his habit of naked sleepwalking. abernathy creek felt like a bird house overrun with all kinds of eccentric, squawking parakeets. it was a lot for a seven yr old to take in. this was a strange reality she’d never signed up for, swallowed by the commune to overheat inside it’s belly. 

3. what kind of a presence do they have in your muse’s life? do they have a positive or negative relationship?

bob’s definitely a character. three times now he’s slipped hallucinogens into magda’s tea without her knowing under the impression that this is just harmless fun and he’s actually helping her by pushing her little boat to bob along the ocean of enlightenment, once at as young as 16. every time she realises he’s like “y’just got bobbeddddd!” and magda’s like here we go ig. told her the raw earth has healing properties to explain why he’d dug up the grass just to rub his hands in the soil and lay there like a panting, overheated dog. he’s an important component to abernathy creek and oversees a lot of the agriculture there. rigged up the irrigation system himself using copper pipes that magda suspects were stolen. the beat up camper van that’s usually parked up behind abernathy and hidden under leafy branches appeared when he did, apparently, although he insists it belongs to everyone. he leads the crusades to drive it up to the mountains and take a group of abernathy creek residents shroom picking. he’s in charge of drying them for selling, too. jack of all trades, really. magda claims not to care for him (or anyone) but she still walked out onto the grass, took his hand and lead him inside whenever she found him sleepwalking at night in her teens. once a group of kids were daring each other to get closer when he was out there and magda threw a stone so hard at one of their shin’s it split it open and made them scatter. but again, magda “does not care about him”. the jury is not convinced.

4. are they revered in irving? do they have bad blood with anyone?

honestly everyone in irving probably thinks he’s a rly strange guy and i won’t fk around. he kind of is. wears many necklaces around his neck n one is just a pouch that has a prehistoric mosquito encased in a little piece of amber inside. sometimes magda wonders if he likes to play up to his reputation by putting it on a little bit. once she saw him suddenly jerking his head like a pecking chicken and saying “g’warn GET” to scare a random middle aged hiker into galloping in the opposite direction in the trees near abernathy. has a masterful knowledge of bird songs and can imitate them all impeccably. sometimes does this instead of replying with words. never cares about the holes in his shoes where his toes poke out. always seems to be turning a rusty coin between his fingers like it helps him think. he makes moonshine that will knock u off ur feet tho which is always a good time if ur lucky enough to try it. he has a very rich n warm voice like a log fire or a gooey chocolate brownie. even with all of his oddities he sounds kind. he’s very unconventional n doesn’t abide by rules of society a lot but he’s quite funny n a good time. makes engaging smalltalk if u treat him with respect. weird but admittedly a tiny bit wonderful. 

OTIS WOLFE.

1. how old are they and what do they look like?

forty-six but he looks older. the skin beneath his eyes is subtly purpled like it’s been dyed by a lick of beetroot juice. he has a very charismatic walk which doesn’t sound like it makes sense but it does to look at him. he walks everywhere buoyantly and with purpose. very high energy in his good days. lives everything in large quantities, good and bad. always used to wear a tan leather bomber jacket when magda was growing up but he forgot it w her one visit n it’s the only time she’s known him to call up two days after leaving to ask if she’d seen it. magda lied and said she hadn’t. she still has it to this day. sleeps in it on her bad days. otis has a smile so big it shines like live wires are sparking in his mouth. magda’s fingertips prickle like she’s an hour recovering from shoving a fork into a plug socket whenever she sees it. she used to think that’s what excitement felt like. that used to be true.

2. what kind of a presence do they have in your muse’s life? do they have a positive or negative relationship?

it’s very complicated. magda knows her dad isn’t a good person but she knows he isn’t a bad person either. sometimes it’s more frustrating to see things in grey because you just want something solid to take shape that u can actually put ur finger on. she finds herself perpetually stood at a fork in the road between believing in him still and deciding he’s no good. sometimes she’ll start walking in one direction only to realise it loops back on itself and she’s right back where she started. otis has given her a lot of fun “adventures”. taught her how to juggle. they stayed in a hotel on someone else’s credit card once and racked up a gargantuan tab ordering every form of room service and renting godzilla and the matrix on pay per view when she was 11. sometimes he’d use her in gimmicks where she had to lie and pretend she had a health condition so they could get a few bucks off charitable strangers on a street corner and under the veil of youth magda found playing up these roles funny because who would ever believe that? wasn’t everyone in the world so stupid except them? it was nice being part of his team. his “little wolfie”. but then a lot of things weren’t nice either. he’s left her stranded on the side of the road with nowhere to go on more than one occasion. he’s passed out in motel corridors and she’s had to lug him into a bed. he’s forgotten almost every birthday apart from one where he sent a card with five dollars inside and handwriting so squiggly she could tell he was drunk when he wrote it. he doesn’t know she likes to sing because he’s only ever listened when he’s fallen asleep. otis is all of magda’s heart and that’s why sometimes she likes to forget that it’s beating. 

3. are they revered in irving? do they have bad blood with anyone?

he’s very flighty n rarely in irving any more tbh but was more when magda was younger n his visits were a little less sporadic. probably owes a bunch of people money for some reason or another. smashed up fannie’s recently when he turned up drunk and got ahead of himself on a giddy n frenzied rampage in the name of “fun” n “just having a laugh”. magda’s aunt shelly really doesn’t get on with her brother n thinks he’s a complete deadbeat waste of space n resents him a lot for the impact he’s had on magda. magda remembers being little and peeking through a crack in shelly’s trailer door when he turned up drunk one time to collect her for a visit n shelly wouldn’t let him in. something along the lines of “you don’t give a rat’s ass about that little girl” and “she worships you, y’know that? most of the time, you don’t even remember her name”. magda crept back onto the sofa and pretended to be asleep by the time she came inside.

4. if your muse is no longer in contact with them, how did the relationship end? did your muse get closure over this?

magda slowly stopped trying to keep in contact over the years. it got embarrassing trying so hard when she didn’t get much back. like pushing a boulder all the way up a hill only to watch it roll back down again. it’s probably contributed a lot towards magda’s inability to really try with people like she should, especially when her heart’s involved. she doesn’t want to be humiliated again. magda hasn’t spoken to her dad in person in almost a year. they had a phone call about seven months back but it turned out to be a butt dial and he hung up because he was in the middle of a conversation at some bar about the moon landing conspiracy. magda’s playlist that i have for her is called “a rodeo clown in a revolving door” which is basically the role otis serves in magda’s life. always in and out. never constant. gone more than he’s there, especially lately. idk if magda will ever get closure over that. she certainly hasn’t now. pouts my fuckable lips to the side w a hand on hip and triple f’s prominent.

#irvingtask002 #magda | muse #drugs tw #alcoholism tw #i said i was gna do hunter too but i simply just dnt have the energy i wont lie. so big bob n otis are all i have to present...... holds ban #omg. bang. #mayb i do more editions of this task for magda in future bc #i have hunter n shelly tht i wna write up....

[d4rk3stn1ght]

Haunted Playmate

Happy Holidays @houser-of-stories ! I was also your gift giver for @sanderssidesgiftxchange and I hope you enjoy your gift

Ships: Platonic Prinxiety, mentioned Analogical and Royality

Warnings: Past character death, cursing, mentioned murder, not meant to be unsympathetic Remus but it kind of comes off that way, if there’s anything else needed to be tagged please tell me

There was a creak on the floor that hadn’t been there before. Was someone invading his home? Well, what was his home. He looked over the banister of the stairs to see a man unpacking his things in the house.“

“Well hello there.” Roman smiled and gently greeted the stranger. Logically, he knew that the man couldn’t hear him, but it was still polite. He had manners! He was a gentleman, thank you very much! Roman watched him from a bit afar. This man tended to talk to himself. Virgil? Was that his name? He mumbled it under his breath fairly often. Virgil flopped onto the couch with his phone, probably to order pizza. He would too if he were the one moving into be moving instead. He missed being able to eat and do things. Well, he could push things over but he couldn’t leave the house. Roman sighed softly before looking through the house to see what his new housemate had done with it. So far, he hadn’t gone up to the attic. If Roman had his way, he wouldn’t be able to. 

Roman hums a gentle song as he peered into Virgil’s room. Oh! He had a Nightmare Before Christmas poster! Too bad Roman couldn’t borrow it or give him his own posters. His were taken as evidence or removed. It sucked but he understood why. He couldn’t exactly stop them anyway, not that he didn’t try. He shook his head at the memories the thought brought. He didn’t need to accidentally cause an inside storm again. It accidentally hurt a small child and he felt so bad for it even though he couldn’t help it. The room itself wasn’t that bad. Yeah, it was a bit dark and dreary, but there was some normalcy from his time. A string of lights to illuminate the room during the night (purple rather than a soft yellow), a corkboard for pictures or necklaces... The desk was cluttered with art supplies. Was he an artist? Did he have any sketches out? A glance over the desk confirmed that that’d be a no. Of course. Why would an emo have anything out in view that could hint at their past? They wouldn’t unless they trusted you. He knew that a bit too well. But ohoho, what’s this? There was a picture carefully placed on the desk with a number with hearts around it. Now that was interesting. Stormy knight had a crush? On this... Logan Omair? The teach? Too bad he couldn’t call that guy at the moment or he so would. He noticed a cup of pens a little too close to the edge and grinned. New game time. How long can he knock things over before the new guy noticed or left? He knocked over the pen cup and laughed at the sound of his new guest jumping up to look.

Roman left the room quickly and headed to the kitchen instead before Virgil could get there. He chuckles at him cursing at the mess but quickly pouts at there being nothing close enough for him to easily knock anything over. Well, he could always knock over the chairs. He froze though at the doorbell. That was really quick or he was losing time again. That tended to happen more recently but it doesn’t bother him as much anymore.

Virgil ran down the stairs and looked out the window before opening the door with an apology. Was he paranoid? Was he running from something? Was he a criminal?! He’d rather side with the law! Maybe he was just anxious. Who knew? Definitely not Roman. He probably never would. The dark and paranormal walked into the kitchen without looking in Roman’s direction. He grabbed two cups, one he set on the counter while he held the other to get ice and soda. Why did he need another cup? Virgil left the cup on the counter while taking his soda one to the couch. When he got comfortable he immediately swiped the cup off the counter before bolting again. 

Virgil smirked at catching a glimpse of Roman’s retreating form, “Gotcha.” He was so glad he didn’t take out his glass cups. A after setting the pizza and the cup of soda down a safe distance from the edge, he got up to pick up the discarded cup and set it down on the edge of the end side table. “Try that one you overgrown cat.” He snarks but unpauses the show to finish it as he ate. 

The ghost thought he was slick, didn’t he? Virgil knew about the haunted house rumors and was ready for anything. Well, as much as Supernatural taught and the limited research he had. While he hadn’t been there long, Virgil had already attempted salting the doorways and windows. He’d noticed a few things, too. The ghost could both float above and walk straight through it, so salt was a bust.The ghost seemed to only do anything when he wasn’t looking or not even in the room. He doesn’t know anything about him aside from him acting like a cat. It was kind of amusing but the pens were annoying. Empty Solo cup? No problem. A full cup and he’s just being a pain in the ass. Virgil took a deep breath before getting up and put the pizza box in the trash. He froze at the clatter of the cup but sighed in relief when there wasn’t a splash accompanied. Virgil mocked him slightly when he laughed. He was just thankful the ghost wasn’t hostile and was just being a bit playful. He settled into the couch again and sipped at his drink while spacing out in thought.

Meanwhile, Roman was snickering in what used to be his room. This was great! He was playing along. It was kinda disappointing that he wouldn’t put anything full against the edge anymore, but he understood anyway. Roman would feel the same way if roles were reversed, at least. He gently ran his hand across the wall. He knew feeling the paint was impossible, but that didn’t stop him from wanting to try. Roman missed his tangibility, but… nothing could undo what he did. Roman closed his eyes to get his bubbling anger under control. It’s not that Roman  hated him, but he was still angry and understandably so. As justified as his anger was, the man downstairs didn’t deserve the backlash it would produce. When he had calmed some, he headed to the stairway to see the poor kid was passed out on the couch with his show running. It was kinda interesting but he couldn’t risk it yet. Maybe the next day but not right now. He nodded in the sleeping form’s direction before heading up to the attic. When he got up there he headed to check on his object. He knew where his body was, but that wasn’t what he was tied to. Instead, he was tied to his class ring from his senior class. He tended to wear it everywhere and it held most of his best memories. That’s why he never let anyone up in the attic. If they were to find it and destroy it, well... that would be it. He would be toast and no one would be able to know the truth. No one had tried to talk to him before but hopefully, Virgil would be the first if he so chose or if he could even hear and/or see him.

A few days later the game was still on. Random cups would fall and Virgil had yet to see anything more than a glimpse of the ghost and the sounds of laughter, followed quickly by a cup hitting the floor. That said, the ghost was getting a bit bolder. He would linger especially when Supernatural was on. Virgil could feel the drop in temperature but if he tried to look, the ghost wouldn’t be there. Virgil had done more research on the property and found a few different murders but he didn’t know which one this ghost was from. Tired of the cat and mouse, Virgil hatched a plan. He needed a job for money and, since this was his second rewatch of Supernatural, he could miss a few episodes of the show and be fine. , Virgil decided that was going to announce he was leaving and leave the show on for the ghost to watch. Then, hopefully, he’d come back from applications and finally see the ghost.

Virgil set his trap the next day, leaving and returning a few hours later. When he got back, he made sure to be quiet as he crept in. His eyes widened. Sitting cross-legged in front of the screen was none other than his ghostly roommate. Dressed in jeans and a white t-shirt, he looked a bit younger than Virgil. Unable to see much else from behind, Virgil slowly crept towards the ghost’s side to see any other features so he could compare them to the other murders on the property. Unfortunately, the episode started the credits and the ghost turned, making a shout of surprise and scrambling back, 

The ghost almost looked panicked, “Um, hey! You’re back!” 

Now that he was facing Virgil, he could see everything. The gold crown on the breast pocket, the line on his throat from where it had been slit, dull green eyes and tanned skin muted by death. 

“You’re Roman!” Virgil exclaimed

“You can see me?!”

“Yes?!”

“That’s awesome!”

“No! Not awesome! I knew you!”

“You did?”

“Yes! Roman Kingston and Remus Kingston!”

“Highschool?”

“Yes. You kept making doll eyes at Patton Amato!”

“I did not! But, uh, uh how is he?”

“Frankly, weI haven’t talked much.”

“Who have you talked to?”

“Logan Omair, Remus, Janus,Remy... But I’ve only  Remy and Logan recently.”

“Cool…” Roman slowly unfreezes and shifts to a more casual posture. “So, I saw your little love letter.”

“What?!” Virgil, who had been doing the same, tenses right back up.

“The number? You-!”

“No! Why you?!”

“No idea. You should ask Remus,” he spat bitterly.

“Right… The article said…” Virgil trailed off, rubbing his neck.

“Yeah.” Discomfort is plain as day on Roman’s face. “Let’s not… Anyway, why’d you move here out of anywhere.”

Virgil is glad to change the subject, “You know, settling down and-”

“It’s because Logan lives here, isn’t it.”

“Shut!” Virgil snaps as his face tints pink.

“So it is Logan! Hah!”

“I will kill you again, you ass!” Virgil lunges towards Roman.

“You caaaaan’t,” Roman sing- songs and laughs as he dodges Virgil’s fist

“Get back here!” Virgil chases Roman through the room, thoroughly annoyed by the fact Roman has more mobility. 

“Nope! When’s your date?”

“Shut! Up!” He catches up and swings again, hitting nothing.

Roman just laughs at him, “Come oooon!”

“We aren’t dating!” Virgil flops down onto the couch in defeat.

“Not yet!” Roman teases.

“Not anytime soon!”

“Who says?”

“Both of us.”

“Why? You both liked each other in high school.” Roman also calms down a bit, sitting on the other end of the couch.

“Yeah, it’s been a little while.”

“Oh right.”

“Yeah. We said someday but for now, we’re just talking as friends and meeting up with anyone still in town.”

“Like?”

“Patton, Emile, Remus, each other.Remy will pop in someday soon.”

“What about Janus?”

Virgil shrugs, “I haven’t heard from him.”

“Ah.” Roman pauses a moment before speaking again. “When will you talk to Remus?”

“I’m going Wednesday.”

“Can you… can you ask him why for me?”

Virgil looks to Roman out of the corner of his eyes, “I can’t promise he’ll answer.”

Roman nods “...Right.”

“Yeah...” Virgil rubs the back of his neck, sensing Roman’s discomfort.

“Sooo... how’d job hunt go?”

“I’ve applied. They’ll call me to set up interviews.”

“Nice. By the way, what’s up with the emo aesthetic?”

“I told everyone it wasn’t a phase,” he jokes slightly.

“We didn’t think you were serious.”

“Dead serious,” Virgil grinned.

“You did not.”

He just burst out laughing.

“I can’t believe you did this to me! Me of all people! How dare you, sir!”

Virgil put an arm around his stomach as he kept laughing.

“You can’t be serious! No! Don’t answer that you dark fiend! I trusted you!”

He only seemed to laugh harder at his dramatics. Roman only pouted as Virgil slowly calmed down.

“You’re an ass.”

“You still love me platonically anyway,” Virgil teases.

“Sadly.”

He chuckles breathlessly,shakinghis head.

“Hey, did they ever find out why that band split up?”

“The one you listened to religiously in high school? No.”

“Damn. I enjoyed their music.”

Virgil shrugs, “I can play some for you.”

“You look like you know something.”

“Maybe, maybe not.”

“You tease! I can’t tell anyone!”

“I know,” *Virgil grins, “But this is more fun.”

“Asshole.”

“Nice to talk to you, jerk.”

“Bitch.”

“Ahhh, there he is.”

“What?”

“The prick of a prince.”

“Hey!”

“Hello.”

“Why must you be so rude to me?” Roman swoons back, the back of his hand against his forehead.

“No one else can.”

“Rude!”

“I’m not that rude.” Virgil rolls his eyes.

“Yes, you are!”

“Nope.”

“Yes.”

“Not arguing.”

“You’re boring.”

“To you.”

“Exactly.”

“Ah, there’s the brat.”

“So good to be back,” Roman said sarcastically but it soon just turned into them giggling.

“By the way...”

“Hm?”

“Don’t tip over anything full ever again.”

“No promises.”

Virgil looks pointedly at Roman, “Roman.”

With a mischevious grin, Roman turned and ran, phasing away through a wall.

“Roman get back here!” Virgil scrambled to chase after him.

This seemed like a great beginning to a new chapter of both of their lives. And what a wondrous start it was.

#platonic prinxiety #analogical #royality #roman sanders #virgil sanders #character death #d4rkwr1t3s #might make this into an ask blog #idk #we'll see #sorry its late btw

[queenjunoking]

Wolf Taming Pt 18

CW: Noncon - Shock Collar - Pain - Petplay - Drugs - Kidnapping  - Manipulation 

Sasha had been staring at the door for a bit. I really enjoyed the moments where I got to watch those wheels spin in her head, it was cute watching her overthink things. She looked at me and tilted her head to the side and my heart fluttered. Such an adorable move, already picking up on nonverbal communication in the most dog-like way she could. She could have gestured to the door with her paw but instead she tilted her head to the side like a confused puppy.

“I see you’re confused. You won’t be doing any more activities there. Instead you’ll leave your cage when it's time to do training or activities of any sort. The cage is for relaxation and safety. I’m sure I can trust you to not do anything stupid outside of the cage. Right?” She nodded her head, keeping eye contact with me. “Then feel free to come out sweetheart. You can push the door open with your snout and shut it with your back leg.”

She cautiously approached the door, waiting for some kind of trick. I’d never use a trick to ruin such a moment. I found it adorable how much Sasha really looked like some kind of animal. She was being cautious, skittish about a change in her environment. There really wasn’t a difference between something like Sasha and a real dog. Both just animals reacting to their environments, they couldn’t do much else in captivity. Though she was smart enough not to just attack me the moment I let her out.

She carefully pushed the door open and crawled out, never breaking eye contact with me. It made it a little awkward as she missed the door with her foot twice, forcing her to look away so she could kick it closed. I suppressed a laugh, I didn’t want to lose her cooperation yet. 

It was Sasha’s frankly funny behavior that I felt vindicated my position. She had been put through sleep deprivation, dozens of shocks a day at this point, been run ragged last night, drugged and kidnapped. Yet she never really lost her sarcasm. She made jokes. She said mean things that most people wouldn’t want to say to a kidnapper from fear of retribution. Above all she was working with me. 

Even under threat most people in Sasha’s position wouldn’t be as cooperative. They’d be fearfully obeying orders or be screaming hellions refusing to obey any order until you had to break them down into nothing to get something to work with. They were getting boring to deal with. The fearful ones didn’t present a challenge, at their worst they would burst into tears and beg to not have to do something you asked them to do. But they’d do it. Unfortunately the hellions had to be broken which left many with very little personality. Most became quiet and reserved, good for maids and such since they would just do whatever you asked of them. They had no resistance left in them when you were through with them.. Rarely was there a case like Sasha. To think my friend just wanted to break her as a pony, it would have been such a waste.

“Sit.” She huffed and sat down like she had been shown. “Good girl Sasha. I’m going to give you a few new tricks you’ll be learning. I want to see how you interpret them so I’ll wait to see what you do before telling you how to change if you’re wrong.”

She looked like she wanted to scowl, but her heart wasn’t in it. I expected this to be a fairly easy session. Just a few tricks and we’d be done for the moment.

“Beg Sasha.” I watched as the gears in her head turned before she gestured at her collar. I knew what I wanted to see from her begging so I got what her concern is. “Like when you’re allowed to speak, beg temporarily allows you to sit up higher than you normally are allowed, but won’t let you stand all the way up. One more time. Beg.”

I watched her get into a squatting position, placing her weight on her toes. She straightened her back and pulled in her arms. She went red in the face when she realized this position put her entire body on display for me. It truly allowed me to admire my property. “Such a good girl Sasha, you got it on your first try. You have wonderful instincts, such a good doggy.” She tensed up from my compliment, I wonder if she was thinking of lunging at me? I’m sure she’d love to make me stop talking if she could. “Keep this position going. Bark Sasha.”

“...Woof.” A sad attempt. Barely audible. Wasn’t even a bark, she just said woof. “Try again Sasha. No dog says woof. They bark. Making a barking sound. Bark Sasha.” 

The second time she did it correctly. Well, comparatively correctly. Much too quiet, but she let out a bark. “Again. Bark.” I kept encouraging her until she was doing it loud enough consistently. I was starting to feel a bit of resentment over her earlier outburst. This was what was supposed to make her feel dehumanized. Having to sit there and bark. It would be a fun thing to make her do if I ever had company. When I was unfortunate enough to have company. Unfortunately this wasn’t having the impact I wanted.

“Dogs need to pant Sasha, you aren’t any exception. Pant.” I hit a line there, just what I was hoping to do. Panting wasn’t a common thing for owners to have pets do, it was noisy and distracting. But I thought it was cute. Penny had picked it up pretty quickly as something she should do when she begged. She had been so eager to please. It was unfortunate that she couldn’t be housebroken after I had finished with her. Sasha at least had that down.

I turned the collar to 1 and pressed the button. Her body twitched and she glared at me. “You agreed to do what I told you to do. I want you to pant. I would hope that going outside means more to you than a bruised ego. If it’s any consolation, this is the last trick you’ll be learning today.”

She still didn’t budge. She just narrowed her eyes at me. I was having a hard time trying to figure out her thought process. She was already on display for me and we were at the finish line. Why would you choose now of all time to resist? I turned the dial to 2 and pressed the button again. She twitched again and tried to keep her balance. She still didn’t break eye contact.

“If this is about you wanting to say something, I’m not giving you anymore questions. I’ve been more than generous about those. You’re so close to getting to go outside, I’m not sure what your problem is.” She looked me up and down before doing something I wasn’t expecting.

She smirked at me.

Then I slowly pieced together the predicament we were in together. She had set me up. I remembered what she said. “The worst that can happen is that you shock me until I go unconscious again.” I had started at a low shock and was making my way up as she resisted me. I had nowhere to go but up. If I kept going up and she resisted I’d just knock her out again.

Having already shown her that I was just going to increase the pain made me run afoul of the other thing she said. “You keep hurting me even though you claim to care about me.” It was my prerogative to punish my pet as I saw fit, but Sasha saw the punishments as vindication of her view that I didn’t care for her.

It was the last statement that had stung the most. "At least they wouldn’t pretend to care about me." I cared a lot about Sasha. She was making me prove it, either I could do what I wanted or I’d have to give up because she didn’t want to do something.

She was trying to back me into a corner. Either I got what I wanted and she would be vindicated or I’d have to give up the winning position and give her what she wanted without getting what I wanted. She had been watching me closely today. She knew what I was excited for and she was ruining it.

“Fine… I’ll go get the stuff so we can go outside I guess. Stay.” That wasn’t the answer she was expecting. Perhaps it was the more pleasant answer. But I could see from the look in her eyes that she was trying to push me. She had waited until the more irritating moment to rebel, she wanted me to hurt her so she could prove that she was right.

Sasha at least stayed put when I went into the toy room. I gathered some of the supplies I had intended to use. A hood that covered her eyes, an arm binder, some nipple clamps. Just the basic stuff. I went over to the cabinet and took out a vial of my special concoction. It was something I had never planned on using on Sasha, it wasn’t really for someone like her. But it would be helpful for me new plans. I loaded it into it’s special applicator and put it in my back pocket.

I looked over at the package I had left on the table. I had been waiting so long to open it. It was supposed to be a reward, something fun I knew she would like eventually. But instead it was going to be used as a punishment. I picked up the package and went back to Sasha who still had that victorious look on her face.

It went away as I laid out the outfit I was going to have her wear. “Your outfit is simple. The hood is so you don’t see the layout of my house as we leave. The arm binder is help you behave. The clamps are so I can guide you as we we around.” She covered her breasts when I said that. It was cute. She was too preoccupied looking at the equipment to pay attention to me circling behind her. I pulled out the applicator and placed it against the back of her neck and pulled the trigger. She yelped and tried to scramble away, but her muscles very quickly gave out on her. There was a reason I called the drug “Ragdoll.”

“Well, that was going to be your outfit at least Sasha. But you decided to test me. I gave you what you wanted, you didn’t want to learn to pant. So in exchange for not learning that I’ve decided to change up your outfit instead.” I watched as her eyes darted around. The only thing she could move. In a little while her voice would be free, but the rest of her body would remain in this state until I gave her the drug to counteract Ragdoll. I knew of dozen of slaves who never got the dose to free them because their owners were too cheap to buy it or they simply didn’t want it. Sasha was completely awake and aware but locked in her own body. Unable to move a single muscle or resist me in any way.

The dumb animal forgot what I told her.

It can always be worse.

[shoichee]

Hortensias

Midorima x Takao

rpg!AU

Word Count: 5271

Synopsis: Takao, a cheeky yet innovative alchemist, accidentally crash lands near Midorima’s target and causes them to flee. Midorima is seething, not just because Takao made him fail a vital commission, but because Takao ruined his perfect streak of quest clears that he maintained for years ever since he joined Akashi’s guild.

Note: I don’t write character x character but since it is for @knbsecretsanta‘s event, and since @iseefairies had listed some ships, I thought to experiment with this and see how this went;; based off of the official art twitter of KNB’s fake RPG here !

@knb-kreations 

Merry Christmas, Aly! I hope the year has been treating you well <3 This is actually my first time writing a KNB ship as I’ve always stuck to KNB x reader! But without further ado, here’s the fic!

»»—————　☼　—————««

Another gentle zephyr slinks through the whimsical city, where dandelions flutter past the sturdy, maintained walls that embrace its citizens in everlasting security, and it is evident that the residents felt safe from the way they carry themselves. Here, everyone chatters away merrily, as mothers gossip with one another at the local produce booths and fathers drink away to oblivion in the local taverns with their friends. Children are let loose, playing a one-sided game of tag with unsuspecting pigeons, grubby hands waiting to pounce on them at the perfect opportunity.

Despite the overwhelming bustling, Takao knows everyone in the city and the city’s topography like the back of his hand. An equally chatty person himself, he can’t help but wedge himself into the huntsmen’s conversation about recent news of game or even lodge himself into the housewives’ whispers with an easygoing joke that instantly gets them giggling. The latter, well, he’s required to know the land of the local area. Otherwise, how could he properly do his job as an alchemist?

Due to his gregarious nature, everyone knows Takao Kazunari, the “friendly alchemist.” Takao, a young man described to be the next “enlightener” of the era. Takao, an alchemist gifted with the convenient ability to “see” the properties and compatibilities of the elements found everywhere; it certainly had played a critical part in shooting him to high prestige among the nation’s scholarship, even if he never took his studies seriously back in the academies. Every new discovery he made, every innovation he accidentally pioneered, were always due to his own whims and morbid curiosities.

What if he took a slime creature’s remains and melted it with an open flame?

What if he extracted oils from petals of specific poisonous plants to turn them nontoxic?

What if he took certain minerals and infused them with randomized doses of ether energy?

After all, he was bound to become utterly bored in the city if he had nothing else to occupy his attention. That was the beauty of being an alchemist. One can always find something new to tinker with out of things that already exist, to push the limits of matter and energy.

Even so, he found the excitement of being an alchemist dwindling with each passing day. Especially ever since his application to one of the most prestigious guilds was immediately rejected despite his rising stardom. At first, he didn’t mind the rejection—sure, it stung and dumped an ice-cold bucket of reality on him, but he figured to shrug it off and finally decided to work hard, hoping for another momentous opportunity to come by. Still, he was a tad bitter about the fact that he was very close to being accepted as an official guildmate had it not been for a “masterful archer” showing up to take the limited spot away. He remembered a pink-haired girl, assumed to be the guild’s recruiter and receptionist, reluctantly telling him that the guild was prioritizing an experienced warrior over a civilian alchemist due to a recent onslaught of hostile monsters roaming outside. Takao eventually came to terms with her explanation, and with that, he kept the thoughts of the guild in the back of his mind while he worked.

That was, until every time he tried to do anything, intervention was required specifically from that guild.

He needed to purchase a specific ingredient that was labeled a controlled substance? He needed special permission from that guild.

He wanted to go outside the city walls to pick a few plants and carcasses for an experiment? He needed to go through extra lengths to submit a request for an escort from that guild.

He wanted to travel beyond the local area to other regions to expand his alchemy repertoire? He needed to be an approved member from that guild.

It was beyond ridiculous—how was it that no other guild besides that guild being granted much authority over the city?

Granted, he could’ve just gone along with the established rules and merrily be on his way, but the thought of potentially meeting the person who took his opportunity away dug up unresolved feelings of bitterness.

I’ll show them… I just need to be so good that they have no choice but to notice me.

Even if he didn’t have the innate miracle of being able to wield ether energy during combat like the recent recruits of that guild, he still was undeniably a prodigy in his own arts; he just sometimes wished he was more of the first than the latter.

———

What are the odds that today was when almost every guild member was not anywhere in the close proximity of the city?

Close to none.

Apparently, local knights were apprehensive in guarding the perimeter without the comforting presence of the powerful guildmates nearby, and it looks like the anxiousness spread to the rest of the cityfolk. The fathers were by their families’ sides and stationed outside their own homes, while mothers wrapped their arms around their children inside in apprehension. Some children picked up on the mood changes, while some were confused or annoyed in why they couldn’t be outside chasing after birds.

For Takao, this was yet again, another momentous opportunity he had been waiting for.

He had his eyes set on the prize: the ether-infused hydrangea flower patches outside the walls near the forest. No one was going to be around to pay much attention to a lone alchemist moving about when they had more dire situations to focus their attention on: the rogue tribes, or hostile beasts, or even the enemy regions adjacent to the land.

His physique was quite deceiving; even if Takao was a mere lean civilian, he was more than capable of scaling up the stone walls and doing simple acrobatics to avoid authority detection, and he easily slipped to the wild with the advantage of the lack of “watch dogs” around.

“Sheesh… finally, no one here to breathe down my neck every second…”

Takao stretches his arms, sore from the physical exertion moments before, and exhales. He scans his surroundings before determining the best route to his destination and promptly jogs. Except that it took him longer than expected to get there considering that he kept getting sidetracked by every object that caught his eye, either packing them into his bag for future experiments or chasing after them in an attempt to view them up close.

Nonetheless, he reached the hydrangea patches by late afternoon, and he eagerly plucked off each flower bud by their different colors, wondering if the pH that causes the color diversity would affect the results of his experimentation.

“It wouldn’t hurt to treat myself with a quick experiment…” he murmurs to himself, looking at the colorful, tall bushels around him in the quiet meadow. “There’s no one here anyways…” His face grows giddy at the thrill of the possibilities for the first time in a while, and he hastily brings out small bottles of liquified ether energy and the melted slime remnants he had from past experiments. He pops open the cork caps and dumps each colored bud into various bottles and seals it back up with the cap, and he gives each glass a firm shake before he sets them all on the ground.

With that, he makes himself comfortable on the soft grass against the tree, taking out a small sketchbook to record his observations.

Three bottles filled with blue hydrangeas stood innocently and perfectly aligned for Takao to observe without any inhibitions. The first bottle had the blue hydrangea soaked in the ether energy, the second bottle had the hydrangea partially enveloped by the melted slime, and the third bottle had the flower mixed with both the ether and slime. Half an hour passed by uneventfully, and Takao slightly scowled.

“Oh, come on,” he grumbles. “Not even a teensy reaction from these?” He huffs and blows the stray bangs out of his eyes before he puts down his sketchbook, and he quickly crawls to lift the first bottle up. “I thought for sure the first bottle would have something happening…”

He gingerly opens the cork to smell the bottle’s contents.

Sweet, yet refreshing and crisp like cold morning air.

It would definitely make a superb fragrance for the perfume shops back home, but it wasn’t what Takao had in mind when he wanted to visit the patches.

Perhaps Takao should’ve actually paid attention to his alchemist studies back during schooling because out of agitation, he may have not noticed, or rather disregarded, the odd feeling that grew in his stomach when he picked up the second bottle. To any other alchemist who learned the basics of experiment procedures, they would’ve been much more meticulous and careful, and many would even notice the strange pressure emanating from the sealed bottle. But to Takao, he’s always believed that philosophy had done more harm than good in alchemy, putting limitations in the efforts of pushing humanity’s potential. But perhaps the stuffy adults at the academies were correct this time.

Because the moment he slowly twisted the cap off, his immediate instinct was to tilt the bottle away from his face within a millisecond, and the bottle’s contents exploded like a rocket right after in a hot goo of blue hues. Any other second later and Takao’s face could’ve been melted off with a blue stain. But unfortunately for his surroundings, the entire nearby flowers and grass patches have been repainted a cerulean blue in uneven distributions of splotches. Even in the aftermath, the bottle in his hands was abnormally warm.

“Well, I don’t think that’s what I meant when I said I wanted a reaction…” he laughs to himself and gets up to examine the results. Wherever the blue touched, it completely liquified and melted it, evident from the way the petals were dripping even despite the bottle’s contents being completely dried. “Now how do I even fit these into my bag without melting a hole through it?...”

It seems that his words completely jinxed his current situation because he felt the blue-stained grass and patches pressuring and heating up again to explode, and while he tried to leap away to put some distance, the colorful explosion was much more violent. All Takao registered was his body blown back like a leaf across the meadow before he landed harshly on the mushy soil, feeling the crunched up flowers underneath. He rapidly blinks away the blue in his vision before he saw a cloaked figure scurrying away from the scene.

“Ah… shit, how am I gonna find my stuff?” Takao grumbles, more worried about his missing possessions than whatever he just witnessed. “It looks like they fell through the bag anyways…”

“You should be more concerned about the consequences you’ll face for letting the perpetrator escape rather than the contents of your mere sachet.”

Takao jolts out of his musings to face a viridescent-haired man, with equally striking eyes. However, the scowl on his face was the most defining feature of his sharp countenance.

“Uh…” Takao averts his eyes before he turns back to stare at his intense glare with a casual shrug. “My bad?”

“Excuse me?”

“Look, look, I had no idea, really,” he protests, holding his hands up in good faith. “I just got blasted over here from some flowers just a bit away, and I’m not here to steal your game—look, see? I don’t have a single weapon on me.”

“The issue,” the man glowers. “—is that you let the man escape. You gave away our location by painting a target on our back by making explosions and permanently marking the fields with a jarring blue—”

“No, they are not permanent colorations,” Takao corrects. “Besides, you could always find him again right? I mean, he hasn’t ran too far off. Maybe instead of talking to me, you could’ve found him by now… why are you looking at me like that?”

“You… can’t be serious,” he deadpans before hardening his expression again. “Do you not understand? The enemy left, like any person with common sense would do. Every second the person is out free, there is higher risk of danger for the city and my recor—wait… you’re not even from the guild.”

“You’re from that guild?!” Shit… Takao was unbelievably screwed. Not only did he not get what he came for, but he lost the majority of his possessions and got caught on the trip by a guild member themselves no less.

The man narrows his eyes. “What’s your excuse of being all the way out here without any guildmate escort?” Takao nervously chuckles to try to dissuade him. “I will not tolerate any shit from your end.”

“Well, you know… afternoon stroll, got lost, got separated from the escort ‘cause of that, and…”

“Oh? If that’s the case,” the man said, softening his face in mild understanding but still visibly peeved. “Might you give a physical description or a name? Such irresponsibility will not be tolerated by Akashi.”

“Well… I didn’t really get a close look at this person per say…” he says. “I guess I was so excited for the potential fruits of my experiment that I—uh, didn’t bother to… look.”

“... Is that so.” The man narrows his eyes at Takao’s hesitance. “Would you like me to escort you back and you can point to me the member you’re most familiar with—wait, where are you going?!”

“It was nice knowing you, but I’m a busy man!” With that, Takao sprints away from him, hoping that he can eventually find the looming city walls as a general pinpoint for the right directions. But before he can dash past eight meters away, his senses tingle to dodge something.

It was the man’s shower of arrows.

“What the hell?! What kind of person would SHOOT at an innocent civili—”

“SILENCE or you shall receive further retribution, for my shooting range knows no bounds.”

“... But you just missed.” At Takao’s words, the man’s aura of hostility spikes drastically and he prepares his bow to shoot another four arrows at the alchemist before Takao has a revelation. “Ah, ha! Aren’t you the famed marksman, Midorima, who has a spotless record of clearing every quest you undertake and never missing your shots…? Or had a perfect reco—HOLY SHIT, can you please stop trying to shoot at me?”

“You have lip for someone who can’t remotely defend himself.”

“Yeah? Well, maybe it’s because you might be the person I have a grudge against if my intuition is correct.” Takao casually shrugs but his own hostile aura slightly catches “Midorima” off guard.

“And I am indeed Midorima Shintaro. What of it?”

“Blegh, gross,” Takao says, completely ignoring Midorima to examine his shot arrows on the ground. “These arrows are beyond functional. How can you even shoot with these, much less even keep them?”

“H-How dare you—!” Midorima grows slightly flustered, surprised that even a normal civilian would comment on his weapon of choice. “These are my lucky arrows, obviously! I have other arrows and bows for other purposes! Don’t get the wrong idea!”

“Did you really have a perfect streak?” Takao inquires, haphazardly holding the arrow by its dull head. “Even a novice archer knows to stay away from this sort of craftsmanship.”

“I’m simply testing the limits of my skills,” Midorima snaps, walking over to Takao to snatch the arrow off his hand while collecting the others. “I do as many things as humanly possible to push the limits, and that is why fate grants me favorable outcomes, regardless of whatever tool I have on hand.”

“You still missed though.”

“You will not speak a word of this.”

“You can’t make me.”

“You will not. Speak. Of. This.”

“You also failed a mission too. Oh, what would the people think of you when I run back to the city to deliver the news?”

“You wouldn’t even have a chance,” Midorima says, grabbing Takao’s arm roughly. “You’ll be sent straight to the interrogation room and get personally questioned by Akashi.”

“Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa,” Takao protests. “Easy there pal, easy! Let’s not do something so extreme, okay? Look, here me out, I kind of need to have a good reputation to wait for an opening in the guild rosters again to reapply, and you took my spot the last time.”

“I didn’t take it, fate was more favorable to me than to you and anyone can easily see why.”

“Ugh, whatever! Hear me out, I won’t say a word about your record hiccups and you’ll cover up my trip here! We both get something out of this… deal?”

“You have the audacity to think that I’ll go along with this—?”

“Then you’re okay with me tarnishing your record? I’m quite popular with the townsfolk, if I do say so myself.”

“... Fine.” He releases his arm and shoves him away. “But I will not hesitate to apprehend you if you go beyond the walls again for your frolicking.”

“And I wasn’t frolicking,” Takao scoffs. “I was doing alchemy.”

“There’s no difference.”

“Oh shut up, dullhead,” Takao says, waving him off dismissively and ignoring the way Midorima was ready to strangle him. “Before we go back to the city, I have to go look for my stuff… they’re actually quite dangerous if an unsuspecting person picked it up.”

“Why didn’t you say so in the first place, idiot?” Midorima scowls. “Let’s go.”

———

“Are you really an alchemist?” Midorima asks, gauging Takao’s jittery behavior as he scans for his missing belongings. “The way you carry yourself is more akin to a troublemaker quack than a legitimate scholar.”

“If you’re not gonna help me look for my things,” Takao retorts, “then go sit at the tree while you wait for me, Shin-chan.”

“What the hell did you just call me?—”

“Shhh,” Takao whispers, putting an abrupt finger to Midorima’s lips. “I hear sizzling nearby. Do you hear it too?” All Midorima does in response is to send a glare at Takao for invading his personal space but nonetheless gives a reluctant nod in affirmation.

“Alright, I know you think I’m a fraud, but do heed my words when I tell you to stand back,” Takao says, tutting his finger across Midorima’s face. Midorima was this close to delivering a swift knockout and leaving him in the fields. “But if you don’t wanna listen, that’s fine, too. But if something happens, you can go cry to the stars and fate for your misfortunes.” And Midorima only rolls his eyes at his jab but still steps back a few meters.

“... Be swift about it.”

“Yeah, yeah.”

Midorima merely observes Takao waving his hand dismissively to shoo him off before he dramatically sneaks to the source of the sound (which prompted another eye roll from Midorima’s end), and he stares at Takao’s surprisingly determined face when he became enraptured during his work.

Takao notes that it was actually the third bottle from his experiment earlier today, and some of the contents have partially spilled from the opened bottle. To try to salvage the rest of the uncontaminated concoction, he pulls out a tiny spoon and tidies up the mess before promptly sealing the glass again. He sighs and stretches out his arms before he notices that despite the spilt concoction on the grass was still sizzling, there wasn’t any further reaction.

“Hey Shin-chan.” Midorima slightly flinches out of his daze at the sudden beckon of his name.

“Are you seriously going to call me that?”

“Bring your arrows here, would ya?”

“And you can kindly fuck off before you can ruin my luck for today by messing with the blessed arrows.”

“Oh for fuck’s sake, already,” Takao huffs. “Just give me an ‘unlucky’ arrow then.”

Wordlessly, Midorima tosses over a broken, chipped arrow from his sack, and Takao stares at the “arrow” and then at the green-haired archer incredulously, wordlessly demanding an explanation.

“Broken arrows bring misfortune.”

“Then why on earth did you keep it?”

“So I can bring my enemies unfavorable outcomes.”

“Gee thanks,” Takao sarcastically says, but he turns back to the liquid on the ground and thoroughly coats the arrowhead in the substance. “Step back, kay? I’mma be throwing this.”

“Wait,” Midorima interjects, plucking the arrow off of Takao’s fingers while minding not to touch the coated arrowhead. “Where do you want me to shoot it?”

“There’s no way in hell that arrow can be even drawn on the bow.”

“Watch and learn, amateur.” Midorima scoffs as he draws the bow with ease, even with a questionable arrow. “Like I said, my shooting range knows no bounds.” Takao sighs and silently points to a nearby patch of flowers as the target and watches in extreme doubt, waiting for Midorima to gauge the distance and strength of the winds before he gracefully lets the arrow go… and perfectly hit the mark. On impact, the arrow caused an explosion.

“Wow…” Takao whistles. “I’m actually impressed.”

“What the hell did you do to that arrow?!”

“Just had a hypothesis. Thought the concoction might’ve needed a catalyst to push it to that point. Guess the trip wasn’t a waste after all,” Takao chuckles, satisfaction visible on his face. “Alright, marksman prodigy, looks like you aren’t half-bad after all. I got all my things, and we can go back.”

“You never stay on a single topic, do you, alchemist?”

“Well after we get to the city, you don’t ever have to hang around me anymore,” he laughs, speed walking away and skipping from excitement at the possibilities of his experiment results.

“... So it seems.”

———

The trip back to the city was mostly uneventful, mostly consisting of Takao’s eyes sparkling whenever anything of interest nearby catches his interest and Midorima gruffly scolding him to keep his eyes on the destination instead. Still, despite the many setbacks and detours, they reached home by dusk.

“And you better not say a single word about what happened out there,” Midorima threatens, jabbing a finger at Takao’s chest.

“My word is as solid as your own, archer,” he shrugs in reply, flicking his finger off to evoke a reaction. It worked. Midorima gave his signature scowl and was about to deliver another retort, but he was interrupted by the locals, who happened to be concerned for Takao’s whereabouts the entire day.

“Kazu!”

A few children and tailing mothers run up to the pair. The mothers were ready to apologize for their children’s eagerness, but Takao reassured them that the children were always welcome to chat with him. Midorima raises a brow at the amicable atmosphere he easily exudes.

“Kazu! Where have you been all day?! I wanted to see sparkly flowers! And shiny rocks! And glowy juice!”

“I’m sorry for my child’s lack of manners, but everyone was worried where you disappeared off to… I guess our anxiousness really rubbed off on everyone today…”

“Ah ha… it’s no problem ma’am, really…” Takao laughs. “I was just occupied with alchemist duties today!” Midorima sends a pointed look on cue at his words.

“B-B-But… you’re always so busy with the grown-up stuff lately… and you never have time to show us your collection anymore…”

“Well, how about to make it up…”

Midorima feels extremely out of place, feeling like he’s intruding on a conversation he shouldn’t be a part of. Before he turned to wordlessly leave and let them talk in peace, the children finally noticed the archer and stared unabashedly in wonder.

“Who’s this scary man, Mr. Alchemist?”

“What the—? Who are you calling sca—oof—” When Midorima instinctively tried to shoot back in defense, Takao immediately jabbed him with an elbow to stop any potential harsh comments from slipping.

“He’s actually the archer who helped me with my duties today… right?” Takao sends a “secretive” wink and Midorima only averts his eyes away.

“Ooh! Ooh! He’s the super duper strong archer superhero Dad always tells me about!”

“Y-Yeah…” Midorima coughs into his fist. “I shoot… arrows.” Takao struggles to hold in his laugh at his awkwardness with the children… or his awkwardness in expressing kindness overall.

“Well… it’s getting late kids, we have to go home and prepare supper for everyone.”

“Awww, but can we play with the archer hero tomorrow if we go home now?” The children turned their puppy eyes to Midorima and he immediately took a step back, frantically eyeing Takao to step in and help. Takao gives a playful smirk before he coughs and pretends to be stern.

“You children know better now,” Takao says in a mock-deep voice. “If you listen to your parents, eat healthy, and sleep early, you’ll get to play more with me and one day be a strong warrior too.” The said “strong warrior” turned away to facepalm to refrain from any snide comments slipping.

After the locals slowly dissipate after exchanging pleasantries with the alchemist, Midorima turns to face him.

“... You weren’t joking when you said you knew everyone here, huh.”

“Yep,” he says, popping the “p” at the end. “It makes daily life less mundane for a civilian like me. Not like someone like you can understand.”

“Conversations like these are meddlesome and quite unnecessary. That being said, I bid you a decent night.”

“You can just say ‘good night’ like a regular person,” Takao scoffs.

Midorima only scoffs back and makes haste for the guild hall.

———

Maybe it’s because Midorima is finally paying attention to the city life rather than keeping his head in his own world, or maybe it’s because he personally was recently acquainted with Takao, but from that point on, all he hears throughout the chattering and gossips were talks of “Takao Kazunari, the enlightener.” It somewhat agitates him that that’s all he’s been hearing for the past several days… nonstop. It doesn’t really help when some of the city children are actually actively hunting down the said archer everyday to make him “play with them,” like Takao promised to them that night.

He’s going to punch him if he ever sees that airhead again.

Still, it was a coincidence (or not) that Midorima found Takao’s craft table in a desolate corner of the city under a modest porch for someone who was the esteemed individual. Here was Takao, carefully eyeballing the measurements with his tongue sticking out in complete concentration. Quite typical of him.

“There are measuring tools for a reason, dumbass.” Takao dumbly blinks before he registers that Midorima was right in front of the table before he frowns.

“Ugh, go away,” he says half-heartedly. “I’m busy.”

“From the way everyone talks about you, I still can’t believe that their image of you is completely different than what I’m witnessing right now.”

“So you heard, huh?” he mumbles, obviously not paying attention to Midorima as he continues to eye the beaker up close. “People can say whatever they want… I’m just doing what must be done within my abilities. Tools are kind of stupid anyways. How can you discover new things when you use such orthodox methods? Besides, you can’t talk considering that you use fucking broken arrows and shoddy sticks for your archery.”

Midorima crosses his arms and frowns. “That’s different. It was just specific days that have been granted luck by the stars.”

“Say whatever you want, but we both do our things our own ways to push the limits of what humans thought were previously impossible.”

“I suppose you’re correct… for once.” Midorima stares at his handiwork, trying to comprehend the process of the art of alchemy. “So… what are you trying to do?”

“Dunno… the results were kind of surprising but I think if I can just change a certain property of this element… it can end up being groundbreaking…” Midorima widens his eyes in genuine curiosity and then narrows his eyes in deep thought to try to think of what “property” Takao was speaking of.

“And what’s this ‘groundbreaking’ result you have in mind?” Takao looks up from his table in mild surprise.

“You’re actually… interested in this?” Midorima simply turns his face away but says nothing, and Takao chuckles. “Well, if you’re that curious, I’m hoping that this can lead to a method in harnessing the power of the elements in crafted tools and weapons and push human civilization to be more adaptive to our environment than just… being walled up here all day.”

Midorima turns to face Takao in unabashed amazement, staring at his intense gaze that was unlike what he previously knew of him. He turns away after a few seconds when he feels his ears slightly burn, unable to handle the intensity of the moment. So this was the true alchemist side of Takao Kazunari that everyone praised.

“And, well,” Takao laughs, already returning back to his happy-go-lucky character. “There’s no way that I’ll be accepted to the guild if I reapply and don’t show them anything new. Plus, I’m not gonna lose to the likes of you.”

At his challenge, Midorima tuts in irritation and hits the top of his head with his fist, which was exactly the main objective that prompted him to look for Takao in the first place.

“What the fuck is your proble—”

“I’ll be taking my leave now,” Midorima says stiffly, swiftly turning away to walk back where he came from and leaving Takao to stare at the retreating figure in mild annoyance.

“Still…” Takao grumbles. “Why did this guy stop by my workspace anyways? It’s not easy to find this spot in the back of the city, either… Surely, he must have more important things to attend to… like that perpetrator-at-large…”

Perhaps it was wishful thinking, but Takao likes to think that Midorima stopped by to learn more about his craft that he dedicated his whole life to. That same wishful thinking also paints an unfamiliar red hue across his face.

———

“Momoi-san.”

“Oh? Mido-kun!” A pink-haired woman whirls around to face the abnormally tall archer. “It’s quite rare to see you here!”

“Ahem…” He coughs into his fist. “When are guild applications opening up again?”

“That’s a good question actually…” she hums. “Akashi is kind of fickle and has been in a more volatile mood since he’s still tracking down the leader of that rebel group from yesterday, but I predict that they’ll open again quite soon, considering that the waves of enemies haven’t subsided at all… Why do you ask?”

“I’d like to put in word for a potential recruit.”

“Uhhh… are you even the same Mido-kun I know? You should know that if you recommend someone in and they get recruited, you take full responsibility for them and—”

“And form an official team with them while showing them the policies, proper conduct and customs, and other adventurer essentials. Who do you think you take me for?”

“Right… may I ask who’s this person you’re planning to recommend?”

“I’m sure you’re aware of the city’s biggest alchemist.”

“Takao Kazunari? W-Well, yes, but… I’m sure you’re aware that you were picked over him in the last recruitment session,” Momoi says, slightly cringing at the memory of Takao’s crushed expression when he found out that he was rejected.

“This time, he has something to offer to the guild that no one else can,” Midorima says. “Something that not even Akashi can afford to overlook.”

“B-But!” Momoi protests. “Wouldn’t him being paired with you be a very bad idea? I mean, I’m not sure if teamwork is even possible considering what happened.”

“On the contrary,” Midorima replies, a small smile playing on his lips. “Fate tells me that we would make a very efficient duo.”

#KNBSecretSanta2020 #kuroko no basket #knb fic #knb fics #midorima x takao #takao kazunari #midorima shintarou #midorima shintaro #rpg au #knb fluff #knb scenarios #midorima shintaro x takao kazunari #knb midorima #knb takao #midotaka

[andysmetahell]

One for All and All for One: The study in complimentary and infinite (wasted) potentials

One for All and All for One: two Quirks whose history we can, in the universe of Boku no Hero Academia, treat almost as the history of society. Their users had left enormous impact on everyone in the series, and through hints we can see their influence stretching long, long back to the first appearance of the Quirks.

Neither Quirk can be considered ‘normal’, though: the ability to take away Quirks at whim and an ability to share Quirks with others (which would inevitably leave you Quirkless) are both complete anathemas to the society that by and large is half-in love with the idea of simply having a Quirk (which deserves a whole breakdown in on itself, but that’s not what I’ll be writing about here!). And yet, One For All users are all heroes, and All for One users are all villains as far as we know (written after the release of manga chapter 280).

How is that even possible? With how objectively similar they are, why aren’t they both heroes, or both villains?

Well, before we take a crack at how Horikoshi coded the Hero society that made this happen, let’s first take a look at just why I’m so surprised the two Quirks aren’t on the same ‘side’. Also, obligatory ‘spoilers ahead’ warning for everyone who’re anime-only watchers, or haven’t gotten past Meta Liberation Army arc in manga.

Purely from the activation/mechanics point of view, All for One and One for All are warped mirror images of each other. All for One functions on the assumption that a) the user knows the other person has a Quirk and b) the Quirk doesn’t have an inherent clause that disallows itself to be taken by force when it comes to taking it. One for All is the only Quirk so far that has shown the resistance to the b), as it is encoded in the very nature of the ‘share-along’ Quirk that forms the true base of One for All that it can only be given away willingly.

Why is this so important? Because All for One doesn’t only take Quirks, it’s also capable of releasing them and giving them to others, whether the recipient is willing or unwilling. In this regard, One for All is startlingly identical: it can be forced upon someone else, as long as the DNA is exchanged and the previous user is willing to give it away. This little fact is often overlooked (likely deliberately) by the existing canon in favor of emphasizing the ‘cannot be taken forcefully away’ which makes sense plot-wise, but not ethics and logic-wise.

But who knows, maybe Horikoshi is holding back on us, and One for All ends up being the ultimate villain of the story.

… yeah, not likely. But the idea is interesting, isn’t it?

Moving onto the way they interact with their users and other Quirks, One for All and All for One are again very, very different, but with a shared approximate visualization of usage behind it. The closest approximation of how they interact with other Quirks would be, in my opinion, be gravity – but two very different applications of gravity.

There are two relevant things you need to know about gravity: it is defined by the masses of an object interacting with another object, and every single object in the universe has its own gravity field. (thank you, Physics nationals I went to once, for forcing me to learn more about gravity!)

All for One is more akin to a star within a stable planetary system: it holds planets, satellites and comets (other Quirks) locked in its orbit, but any change can make all those objects lose their orbits and go wander in the deep space. Its hold is strong, but the fact still remains it can be nullified in order to give away Quirks. It’s also stable – its attraction/hold power doesn’t change with the number of Quirks taken, it simply gives it a bigger array of powers to work with.

One for All on the other hand would be closer to black hole: its gravity is so enormous even light, the fastest object in the universe, cannot escape it, and its mass (and therefore its gravity) grows stronger with every object it swallows. Once it grabs a hold of anything (its user’s other Quirk) it merges it with itself and keeps it for forever, with very little chance of it ever surfacing again as individual Quirk (unless your name is Midoriya Izuku). However, it heavily relies on the energy (other Quirks it merges with) to provide power-ups; hence the ridiculous difference between Izuku’s and Toshinori’s One for All. (also protagonst shenanigans, but we’re not going that far into metatextuality here – that needs its own essay)

So, concept-wise, One for All and All for One are again identical in the idea behind it, but drastically different in application – both still fucking scary, but what can we do here, our main protagonist and antagonist need to have OP armor around themselves.

This leads us to the probably the biggest spoiler I’ll discuss in this essay:

this panel.

In chapter 270 of manga, Shigaraki Tomura is revealed to have been passed All for One, which is a whole mindfuck in on itself that Horikoshi needs to explain stat because I’m going crazy over here with theories (!!!), but moving on. The short and extremely brief summary of what happens afterwards is: Heroes discover where Tomura is while he’s still being transferred All for One, they wreck the Nomus and facility, Shigaraki gets partial All for One and his original Quirk Decay goes absolutely nuts again, Izuku runs off to face him, and at one point point, while using Ragdoll’s Search, Shigakari utters a very strange sentence while seemingly under the influence of All for One (the Quirk):

“You will be mine… little brother.”

Moments later, Shigaraki snaps out of it and comments about Sensei (All for One) no longer being his puppeteer, that he’s making his own choices and not Sensei’s.

Here we get a stunning punch in the plexus about what we already have been hinted at during Izuku’s fight with Shinsou Hitoshi, during Kamino Ward and Joint Training Arcs:

One for All and All for One both retain the echoes of their past owners.

Now, here comes a million dollar question: is this something both the baseline ‘share’ part of One for All and All for One possess (which would further link the two Quirks, and also explain a lot of characterizations in the series so far), or is it an imprint of All for One on ‘stockpile’ part of One for All that ‘share’ part absorbed and made its own? Both possibilities are extremely intriguing and make any future possibility of unification (which was apparently Sensei’s original goal before, judging by that one panel) extremely volatile, and very intriguing if Horikoshi pursues that idea to its end.

Speaking of the man himself, now we arrive at the question that really started the whole essay here: how come it was All for One chosen to be the ultimate evil, and One for All to be ultimate good? As we’ve seen so far, both Quirks are startlingly similar; theoretically, could All for One be a ‘heroic’ Quirk and One for One for All ‘villainous’?

The answer is yes and no.

Yes, because theoretically, switching the two would still make the story work; it’d change the motivations of characters drastically, sure, and turn the story of generations of good trying defeat one evil into one good fending off generations of evil, but it’d work – and no, because that’d fundamentally change the society in which Boku no Hero Academia’s current time frame is, and society is the key underlying factor in this entire story.

Let me explain through the examples of three characters and a faction.

Midoriya Izuku is Quirkless person in a society who is, like I said at the beginning, half-in love with the idea of having Quirks – the fact that you have them makes you seem useful, someone with potential, no matter how objectively useless some Quirks inevitably can be in certain lines of work. By their standards, he’s without potential, and therefore is largely useless out of gate. Had All for One been in public eye and celebrated as Hero, he’d be the pinnacle of useful: there’d be no danger of bad reactions to donated Quirks in his DNA, and he, someone who wishes desperately for a Quirk, could easily be given a Quirk of someone who finds their life unbearable due to it.

Bakugou Katsuki, someone with extremely property-damaging Quirk, would constantly be told that if he doesn’t behave himself, he’d be sent off to All for One to have his Quirk taken away – in essence, he’d be no one special, just another kid with a Quirk. Since All for One is so visible, it’d be all too easy for parents and teachers to threaten their kids into compliance whenever they throw an over-powered tantrum with the removal of a Quirk; it’d also be a good deterrent for any Pro Heroes that existed there to not get too comfy with their jobs, because they could easily be taken out of it if they manage to anger All for One enough, which would deter some people from being Pro Heroes.

Shigaraki Tomura (Shimura Tenko), someone whose Quirk came in during an extremely traumatic event and left him so scarred mentally he was never quite the same again, could easily simply give away his Quirk and have something far less volatile and triggering if he wished so, and also have a chance of potentially one day seeing his Quirk in the hands of someone like Izuku or Melissa, who could use it to its full potential without being constantly triggered by it or being re-traumatized again and again by the society who would rail on him for having such a potentially devastating Quirk.

Meta Liberation Army (which is a poorly disguised Brotherhood of Mutants on Genosha in X-men cartoons, let’s be realistic – the whole thing about the superiority of fight-compatible Quirks was not subtle at all) would be a much smaller and a lot less influential group. The publicity of a Quirk being able to take away other Quirks would make the existence of Deika City clones very, very difficult; it’d take but one hint, one whisper of a fringe group amassing in remote location that wants to eliminate so-called ‘useless Quirks’ for All for One to act – as much of an asshole as he is, he was shown [cite] to like all kinds of Quirks, despite only keeping the ones he felt were the most useful to him.

OK, but what about them being on the same side? You might ask yourself. If they’re so similar, why not make them both on the same side?

One, drama is always more delicious if there are high personal stakes involved, and nothing gets more personal than family drama – that’s just a fact. (Kardashians, anyone?)

Two, this is shonen – openly bad guys being the protagonists isn’t often done (in mainstream at least).

Three: we need some material to make all those ‘Izuku’s related to All for One or One for All first user’ for our satisfaction before Horikoshi josses the whole thing, okay??

(no, this is certainly not a call for you to make more ‘Izuku is related to original two brothers’… but it’s heavily suggested lol)

Thank you for sticking around until the end of this essay! Have a cookie, and enjoy the hell my mind led me to during the binge-read of the last 5 released chapters of manga:

#bnha meta #mha meta #quirk analysis #quirk meta #ofa and afo #shigaraki tomura #all for one #midoriya izuku #one for all #one for all users #I need more bnha meta #crossposted on ao3

[roseandreason]

Buying a House, Mortgages

How many times have you been having a conversation with a friend or family member and said the following words ‘I wish they had taught me this in school’

Me and my husband agree! The amount of times we have said this over the years is genuinely scary and it really makes you wonder, why don’t they?!

Some examples we have often discussed over the years….

Interest rates 

Credit Cards and finance applications

The list goes on, but the big one…..Mortgages!!!

Me and my husband are very lucky to have owned (with a mortgage) and lived in our own home for nearly 5 years now, and more recently due to lockdowns and furlough, finally got our home how we want it, its finished! 

Ok, I don’t think a house is ever finished, I think you end up in a constant circle of re decorating or living situations changing so you change it up a bit, but for now, I have nothing in my Dunelm basket for the first time in a while!

However I have jumped ahead quite a few years, let’s go back a bit….

Owning my own home, honestly, never really bothered me, growing up it was never something I aspired to. Now if you read my last blog you may be starting to think I never aspired to anything, I didn’t have job goals and now I didn’t even want to own my own house?! What I mean to say is, I didn’t see the appeal or the pros of owning your own home? That is until, I met my then boyfriend and now husband.

Titch, ever since we started seeing each other voiced that he wanted to own his own home, and the more he spoke about it the more this dream became mine too. Now what I think most people want to read here and also what I wanted to happen was someone to wave a magic wand and we would have the money for our own home, they all lived happily ever after. 

Nope!

Me and Titch started dating (is dating a thing in the UK?!) each other in 2009, and I would say we actively started saving for a deposit on a house at the end of 2014/beginning of 2015. Me moved into our new home July 2016. So we were actively saving for around 18 months!

Let me be the first person to say, I’m not great at saving, especially when its for something that I can’t see, for example a house, and when it seems so far away or thats It’s going to take forever. I found it really hard to find the motivation to keep putting as much money away as possible without seeing an instant reward. 

Because of this my biggest advise to saving for a house (or anything) is to not completely deny yourself any luxuries in this time, because in the end you’ll just start to resent saving and not put your heart into it or splurge big on something else! Go to the cinema, go for some food out with friends, treat yourself to little things, just don’t do it every week! There were certain compromises I made when saving for a house, for example selling my car, I loved my car (Feefee the Fiesta, I name all my cars, I think its weird if you don’t to be honest!) and I think for anybody that drives they will understand the freedom it gives you, however it was £200 a month I could save and put straight into savings, so it went. I still could get to and from work by bus and as Titch still had a car I didn’t feel totally isolated! Compromise! 

Me and Titch were very lucky that we could live with my parents while we were saving, we paid rent to them but not anything compared to what I know rent prices can be, this was a huge help to us and meant it took us a much shorter amount of time than what it would to save what we needed. I would recommend this to anyone where its an option, stay at home as long as possible!

Me and Titch first started looking for our dream home in November 2015 as we knew we would have the deposit we needed within the next few months. We already had a mortgage in principle (this is worked out by the bank and gives you an idea of the price of a home you can afford based on factors such as your earnings and outgoings expected when you own a home) initially we started looking at homes that were 2 bedrooms as although we could afford bigger we thought for our first home, that size would be ideal, one of the best decisions we made was to buy a 3 bed, as honestly I think after 2 or 3 years max we would have outgrown a 2 bed and already have moved into our second home by now, however the 3 bed home we purchased we have room to grow into and hopefully start a family in without loosing space to have guests visit!

Another piece of advise…always let your parents be involved in home hunting, me and Titch thought we had found the perfect property and were ready to put in an offer, so we asked my parents to come and view the house, the great thing about having parents be involved is they offer an alternative perspective not through rose tinted glasses, at the time I found the criticism of the house really hard to hear, as I had fallen in love with the house, but upon reflection and when we had found the home we eventually purchased I was happy to admit they had been right about everything on the previous home and honestly, saved us from making a huge mistake. Parents have done it all before, let them help! (To this day they have never said ‘I told you so’ they just wanted to help!)

Me and Titch purchased a Taylor Wimpey new build in Attleborough, and for all the bad press there is about new builds, I cannot disagree more, we had a great experience, had minimal issues, and when it comes to moving again, we have both agreed new build is the route we would probably take again. 

Because we purchased a new build we had to put down a 10% deposit rather than the 5% we had been planning on, therefore we were left short on the money we had saved, so we used the help to buy scheme, which again me and Titch had a great experience with, rather than going into too many details here, message me if you need more info! 

With buying a house, similar to other topics I have discussed so far, there always seems to be a competition related to ‘when someone purchased their first home’ and whilst I think a lot of this stems from proud parents, and absolutely people should be proud, its a huge achievement!! However it should not be a competition, me and Titch were together for 7 years before we moved into our home, I was 24 he was 26, it worked for us, do what works for you and when you feel is the right time! 

Also, mortgages are simply not as scary as people make out, get yourself a great mortgage advisor and they will make it easier than you can imagine! ours was incredible and has helped us for two remortgages since!

Buying our house was absolutely the right thing to do, we have something that is ours, that we can change, grow into and build a future in, not paying someone else’s mortgage, but our own! At the moment we plan on staying in this home for the next 2 years at least, I hate thinking about the time we out grow this home as its filled with so many memories, but we can make new ones when the time comes!

As always let me know your thoughts, are you saving, what worked or hasn’t worked for you?!

Belle X

[feminamforma]

Notary Public Overview

Notary Public Guide

What is a notary public? Count on us, you're not the very first to ask that. There's a reason why Notary Publics are ending up being a rewarding "side hustle" for business owners with a legal history. Currently even more than ever, individuals need notaries to do the tasks that day-to-day citizens can't do-- without having to pay costly lawyer costs. Numbers vary by states, but Notary Publics are typically the largest group of public authorities. There are presently 95,000 Notary Publics functional across the State of Indiana, for instance. And also the nationwide development of notaries has actually been relatively constant, save a stretch in the late 2000s. And the national development of notaries has actually been rather regular, conserve a stretch in the late 2000s. ( Picture Source ) The high number of notary authorities says something concerning the needs of people throughout the United States: There are lots of considerable life turning points, choices, as well as ventures that you can not finish without a notary finalizing off on them initially. If you believe this appears a whole lot like something a lawyer would do, reconsider: Notary Publics are not attorneys. They can't provide lawful recommendations, neither can they prepare lawful records, and also there are just a handful of jobs they are allowed to do. Nonetheless, these tasks are vital to certain features of the Assistant of State's office. Besides accrediting papers, carrying out vows, or taking affidavits, the setting of the Notary Public holds historic stability. There's a degree of trust, openness, and due persistance that comes with the office holder's main tasks. If you have actually ever before wondered what, specifically, a Notary Public official can aid you with, utilize this guide to get the full picture. What Do Notary Publics Do? In the USA, the exact information of a notary official vary from state to state. Some requirements are compulsory in one state yet optional in others. The office of the Notary Public is also satisfied by a person that is designated by the state's government. It's usually the Secretary of State's office, yet in some states like Utah, this can be the Lieutenant Guv's workplace. Notary Publics are responsible for three to 4 broad duties. Each state provides the notary official with a handbook that details the information of these responsibilities and standards on legal, honest implementation. The requirements of the handbook are best methods though. If there's ever before a dispute, main laws will certainly make or damage the judgment-- not the handbook. Notaries take workplace with an extremely certain process. They're intended to be objective witnesses when authorizing documents, taking acknowledgments, as well as affirming the reality of info within a file. " A notary is a verifier, authenticator, person of stability designated to the workplace, individual payment to seal documents, unbiased representative for the state, public recorder of acts, public slave."-- Colorado Secretary of State Handbook There are limits and also exceptions to these general duties, as each state's needs for Notary Publics vary. In some territories, they might be able to: Take depositions Accredit any type of requests See third-party absentee tallies Give marriage licenses Venerate civil marital relationships Experience the opening of a safe deposit box and also draft a main supply of its components Draft demonstrations of dishonored checks as well as promissory notes Depositions are particularly essential. It's why numerous US stenotype reporter are additionally notary publics-- their setting needs them to vow in depositions. Furthermore, some individuals within an economic company might also be notary officials. The Duties of a Notary Public When a Notary Public enters workplace, they are "commissioned." When appointed as an agent of the Assistant of State, Notary Publics can: Provide vows and also affirmations Take sworn statements as well as depositions Receive and certify acknowledgments or evidence of written instruments like actions, home loans, powers of lawyer, and so on . Need and accept repayment of foreign and inland expenses of exchange, cosigned promissory notes and responsibilities in creating, and also objecting the exact same for non-payment These functions are not the exact same for all states, though. Some notaries just have 2 of the four powers in their home state, while others have all 4. If you're curious concerning your state, go here to find a notary near you. However to do any one of these acts effectively, notary publics should stay up to date with transforming laws in notary regulation. That's why numerous notary officials determine to take further training as well as programs in Notary Legislation-- both before and also after their commission. For example, in the State of Washington, the Division of Licensing provides video clip training on its internet site. As well as in the State of New York, striving Notary Publics must additionally rest and also pass a notary public examination together with the common application, application fee, and also surety bond. Once commissioned, notaries generally go on to practice for four years prior to their commission runs out-- at which point, they can select to restore. Each of these notarial acts has treatments, as well as the language on the certification that's connected to the documentation varies, based on the act executed. Let's look briefly at the various obligations and also what they imply for both notaries and also the typical citizen. Vows And Affirmations Vows and affirmations are better referred to as "jurats," a brief form for the Latin statement, "It has actually been promised." Technically, an affirmation is a kind of a vow. Oaths are pledges, assures, pledges, or solemn declarations. An affirmation is the same but does not include words "promise"-- rather, the declaration generally sounds like, "I verify under penalty of perjury," rather than, "I solemnly promise ... so help me God." The conjuration of a deity is a typical incorporation of oaths. A notarial represent vows and affirmations is a three-part procedure that consists of: Hearing the client affirm or testify the file, to his/her identification, and/or any type of other realities concerning themselves that the paper requires See the client authorize the file Complete the notarial certificate One of the most important part is that the signer or customer must exist before the Notary Public official. Here is an instance of an oath as well as sworn statement: Vow Example A vow, as explained over, is an affirmation that supporting an act or statement to be genuine or honest. An example of a vow is laid out listed below as follows. Notary Public's Vow of Office State of ___________________) )SS: County of ___________ )I, ___________, having been appropriately designated and also appointed a Notary Public in and also for the State of ___________, do solemnly swear (or affirm) that I will certainly support, comply with and also protect the Constitution of the United States as well as the Constitution of this State and that I will discharge the tasks of my workplace with integrity. Sworn statements Sworn statements are declarations people construct of their very own free choice. Provided in composing, it is obligatory that the specific making the statement defines his/her name along with the signature. It is likewise essential to execute this proceeding in the presence of notary agent. Sworn statement Instance State of ________________) )SS: Area of _______________ )Before me, the undersigned notary public, now, personally, showed up ______________ to me recognized, that being appropriately sworn according to law, deposes the following:( Affiant's Declaration) ___________________________( Signature of Affiant) Subscribed as well as sworn to before me this __________ day of _______________, 20 ___. ___________________________ Notary PublicMy Payment Expires: _____________________ It's never the work of a Notary Public to vow or attest regarding the customer's or endorser's mindset or lawful capability. A statement like, "In my point of view, the individual before me is signing under his own free choice," is an unapproved method of legislation. Recommendations Besides the act itself, language issues deeply to the honesty as well as efficiency of the Notary Public. The notarial represent an acknowledgment belongs to closings or other property deals. Rather than the words, "subscribed and sworn to," the act of recommendation will certainly include a declaration with words, "recognized prior to me." The notarial certificate will certainly additionally have the word "acknowledge" somewhere on it. Acknowledgments require special focus to the endorser's identification. Since the signer or client is not taking an oath regarding the veracity of his or her identity, the Notary Public needs to verify this with acceptable proof: State or federal government issued ID with an image and trademark A promised reliable introduction of the client provided under oath by an individual the notary recognizes Personal as well as direct understanding of the customer For some documents, the notary authorities likewise needs to make certain the signer is of audio mind or is genuinely with the ability of understanding as well as authorizing the paper. The endorser needs to attest to this reality. Nevertheless, it's not the job of a notary public to attract any kind of lawful verdicts or to additional research this claim. If the notary representative sees that the signer is intoxicated, drugged, or, for any type of other factor, unable of making this attestation with full existence, they can stop the notarial act and also decline to go additionally. However if they attempt to do anything past that, they're exceeding their responsibilities. It's likewise necessary to confirm that the client is not under discomfort since recommendations should be voluntary. They are "free choice acts and also deeds" of the client or signer. Once they take the acknowledgment, the Notary Public finishes the right notarial certificate. ( Picture Resource ) Witnessing Trademarks Technically, observing a signature drops under a recommendation, however it's likewise thought about a different act-- which is why it features a short-form certificate. Trademark seeing is when a client signs the document before the notary authorities. During a recommendation, the endorser has actually currently made their mark on the file. The treatment for the notarial act stays the exact same, yet the notary authorities requires to inspect a government-issued ID to make sure that the trademark on the ID matches the trademark on the paperwork. They can additionally have the client authorize the journal while the notary watches as well as utilize this "in visibility" signature to confirm both coincide. Qualifications The fourth main feature a notary does is copy certification. Copy certification needs the Notary Public to attest to the fact that a duplicate or replica of a file coincides in content as the initial. Sometimes, Notary Publics can likewise make qualified duplicates of original files. Why does this responsibility issue? When a Notary Public has the power to license duplicates as well as does so, that duplicate is genuine for main matters. This enables the preservation of sensitive original files. Examples of duplicate certifications include: Employment problems: certifying diplomas, honors as well as honors, scores Company events: licenses as well as authorizations, powers of attorney, agreements, as well as contracts Adoptions: house researches, monetary declarations, health and wellness evaluations International travel: certifying duplicates of keys, chauffeurs' licenses, as well as various other back-ups of initial as well as official documentation When the notary validates the client's identification, the notarial act for copy accreditation undergoes a guideline that includes: Seeing the initial file Creating an unique written ask for the accredited duplicate (to be maintained by the notary), consisting of two declarations, signed by the client Have 2 duplicates of the initial record-- one for accreditation and one for the notary to keep as part of paper documents Undergo the actual verification process: guaranteeing that duplicates are "complete, true, and specific replicas" of the originals. In this case, a notary is responsible for the precision. Full the qualification act by using the certification type There are some kinds of records that can not be licensed by Notary Publics-- and that's since the providing organization will certainly accredit copies themselves. Marital relationship licenses or birth certifications are common instances. ( Picture Resource ) Exactly How A Notarial Act Is Done The notarial act is a multi-step process where the notary representative is on the lookout for information regarding identity, honesty, authenticity, as well as capacity. Each of these acts has a repeated framework. The "challenge," for a Notary Public official remains in the information and certain scenarios of each client. You'll discover that the structure mainly stays the very same for each and every act, and constantly finishes in the completion of a short-form certificate that closes the act. This is frequently gone along with by the Notarial seal or stamp, which bears the information of the Notary Public's compensation (name and commission number), day of expiration, as well as place (State). Despite the sort of task, the act usually consists of the complying with components: Personal look The private client or signer have to appear before the notary representative-- even in on-line registrations. Physical presence is the requirement. ID verification of the signer Prior to any type of signing or recognizing can occur, the notary representative has to confirm the person's identification through a government-issued picture ID or individual understanding. They can also be ID' ed by a "trustworthy witness"-- with the caution that this reputable witness should be recognized directly to the notary official. Simply put, you can not have a situation where both the specific as well as the witness are unfamiliar people to the notary official. Take a look at the file If it's a copy accreditation, the Notary Public is going to place the paper via a more thorough evaluation where they analyze it for web content as well as make certain both are exactly alike-- verbatim. For all other acts, they do not need to worry about material. They only need to make certain that all parts are submitted properly and that no trademarks are missing. Getting in the purchase into a record publication Not all notaries are called for by their state to maintain a journal or document publication for notarial acts as well as transactions. Approximately a 3rd make it mandatory. For the rest, journals are optional-- yet they're very tactical. Notary representatives ought to maintain documents of notarial occasions, also if just to safeguard themselves. There have been numerous cases in which documents have saved a notary authorities from paying heavy penalties or being prosecuted when their work entered question. The journal entrance proved their virtue. Total the notarial certification or kind The ideal notarial certification or short kind needs to be attached to the paper. Besides the signer's information, the notarial agent will certainly likewise require to consist of information on the date and also location of the notarial act, and a trademark that matches their payment. Pricing For A Notary Notary rates as well as charges are set partially by the state and also partially by the notary official. Every state has its limits on appropriate costs to bill. Notaries can make a decision where they  wish to set their certain charges. Typically, more recent compensations with much less experience in the area will set prices at a reduced end. Standard notary fees run, anywhere from Mobile notaries are a prominent means for people seeking to accessibility notaries. The comfort for clients/signers is the evident truth that notaries pertain to them, despite day or time. This included initiative on the notary's part indicates they can likewise bill for making a journey to your location. Customers find the cost affordable when contrasted to the struggle of looking for and afterwards going to a stationary notary. Bear in mind that the notary does not review the paperwork or confirm the contents of an agreement. They are just responsible for the notarial act. Their impartiality means they can not make any type of judgment regarding the fairness or legitimacy of a record. Final thought Notary Publics provide important solutions, and also they're commonly the last step in making things official. In fact, they're so essential that many states are looking for means to appoint much more notaries in the years to find. It's indisputable that when a nation's economic climate flourishes, the business of notaries does also. Think about the most common functions of a notary-- commanding real estate closings, financial bargains, and company paperwork-- as well as you'll recognize why that's the case. If you assume you may take the leap as well as become a notary public, after that ideally this overview has actually given you all the information you need to decide. The globe requires even more notaries!

[athingthatwantsvirginia]

Catherine, Heathcliff, and Shangri-la

PART TEN OF THE DO YOU SEE HER FACE? SERIES

Pairing: Jess Mariano x Original Character (Ella Stevens)

Warnings: mentions of death, smoking, plentiful pop culture references

Word Count: 4.9K

Summary: Though she plans to spend her birthday alone, Ella ends up passing time on the late August evening with Jess, eating old pie and playing cards.

She looked like a dream in her sundress. Late August light bathed the crowds at the summer festival, and Ella practically glimmered when Jess spotted her from across the square. It made him feel like an idiot thinking the way he was, but she had an effect on him which he’d previously only read about in books. He wasn’t sure exactly when the tipping point had been, when he’d truly fallen in love with her, passed the point of no return. But he had. And he was. He loved a girl who didn’t believe in love, who wasn’t into dating, who didn’t feel the same. It had never been so complicated before, and he’d never been so completely screwed. There were moments, times when his heart nearly burst from the hope. When she laughed at one of his wiseass remarks, or ran her fingertips over the notes he’d left in the margins of her poetry books, or let her eyes linger on him for just a second too long. But each time, she would brush it off, act like nothing had happened. And he’d be forced to wonder if he’d imagined the electricity passing between them.

Slowly, over the course of the summer, he was beginning to come to terms with it. Maybe they could just be friends, coworkers. Maybe all he needed was to make out with Shane until his lips were swollen and his mind was blank and his memory would be wiped clean of all the times Ella had made him feel deeper than he ever had before. Besides, he had never fallen in love before, had never uttered the three fateful words in all his seventeen years. A small part of him believed he could snap out of it easily.

He took his eyes back from her form, concentrating on the girl in front of him. The girl who wanted him and nothing more. Who meant nothing but ease and pleasure. Sliding his hands down in her back pockets, Jess closed his eyes and placed kisses down Shane’s neck, the bark of the tree they leaned on rough against his back.

.   .   .

“She’s back with a vengeance!” Ella exclaimed, wrapping her arms around Rory in a gleeful embrace.

They stood together near a flower stand, the fragrant display adding sweetness to the air. Despite the barber shop quartet droning on in the background, Ella felt her spirits lift at the sight of Rory Gilmore, her confidant missing in action over the summer at an internship in Washington. In the back of her mind, Ella couldn’t help reminding herself that soon, she would have to deal with the constant separation. Rory would be off at Harvard, Lane would be touring with her band (hopefully), and Ella would be stuck. As she always had been. She’d have to fill Rory in on how the college applications were going later.

Rory laughed happily, pulling away from Ella and holding her at an arm’s length. “Yes, and with all the hot DC gossip.”

“I’m intrigued,” Ella said, raising an eyebrow.

From behind them, Lorelai beamed, her own face painted with joy, her daughter back in town. Ella loved that about summer. It had a special kind of magic no other season could manage, positivity radiating from everyone, dampened only by the occasional rainy day.

“Alright, let’s go find Lane, and we are in for a movie night of epic proportions!” Lorelai announced, strolling around the square with the two teens in tow.

Before they departed completely, however, Rory followed Ella’s distracted gaze to the old oak where Jess stood, eating his girlfriend’s face.

“Oh, God!” Rory exclaimed, scrunching up her face in disgust.

Ella blushed, Rory having noticed her staring. She hadn’t meant to. But seeing the two of them together, considering the many fights with Shane the summer had brought, gave her a feeling of irritated uneasiness. Like a car crash she couldn’t look away from. Morbid interest feeding morbid interest in a vicious, voyeuristic cycle.

Tilting her head to the scene in question, Lorelai scoffed. “Guess he’s got his ‘What I Did This Summer’ essay all planned out.”

“I know,” Ella groaned. “America’s youth really does have such admirable modesty.”

Snorting a laugh, Rory shot a knowing look at her mother. “Have they been at that a lot?”

Ella nodded, speeding up in her stride a little to get out of view of the display. “Yep. It’s now part of the Early Bird Special at the diner. Dinner and a show.”

Lorelai faked a gag. “I told you. The kid gives off major Sid Vicious vibes.”

“Looks like he’s found his Nancy,” Rory added.

“And he’s been so weird at work lately. He barely talks to me, just sits on his little stool. Reading, brooding, scaring off small children. Maybe I pissed him off. I don’t know,” Ella said. She fiddled with the chain of her necklace.

“Um….Ella?” Rory began, bringing a hand to the blonde girl’s shoulder. “Do you not realize you’re the Catherine to his Heathcliff?”

Ella scoffed, laughing breathily. “What?”

“He’s totally into you!” Lorelai exclaimed.

Raising a brow, Ella rolled her eyes and kept walking. She crossed her arms over her chest defiantly. “Very funny.”

“Every time he looks at you…” Lorelai said, feigning a swoony look. “It’s sickening.”

“Yeah, right. I bet it’s Rory he’s into,” Ella argued, shrugging them off once more.

“Oh really?” Rory asked skeptically. “Then why does he make those notes in your margins? In the poetry books he said he hated when he first got here?”

“It’s mutually assured destruction,” Ella explained. “If he stops taking a chance on poetry, I’ll stop taking a chance on the beats. The arguments would ensue, the diner would descend into chaos. In an effort to avoid certain death during our shifts together, we compromise.”

“Ah, the key to a strong relationship’s foundation,” Lorelai retorted.

Snorting a laugh, Ella shook her head. Without the flowers and the serenity of solitude, the less desirable aspects of the festival began to wear on Ella’s psyche. The barber shop quartet spun around and around in her head, making her dizzy, and the sun beat down on them. Stray strands of hair, fallen from her bun, began to stick to her damp forehead.

Suddenly, an idea occurred to Ella. “Rory, my dear?”

“Yes?” Rory answered with suspicion.

“You know how you always give me presents on my birthday even though I tell you not to?” Ella asked.

“I’m aware of the annual birthday commiseration,” Rory said, nodding.

“Well, I’d like to request, as a birthday present for your favorite waitress, a moratorium on the Jess talk until I am seventeen years and one day old,” Ella suggested, fluttering her eyelashes jokingly.

Sighing, Rory linked her arm with Ella’s. “Alright, but only because you asked so very nicely.”

“Good to have you back, Thelma,” Ella smiled fondly, pulling her friend a little closer.

“Same to you, Louise.”

Lorelai chuckled and shook her head, watching as the girls ascended the steps to Lane’s door.

.   .   .

Mercifully, Ella had made it through the day with minimal birthday wishes and no attempts at gift-giving. Lorelai and Rory had teased her about a surprise party, but she knew they wouldn’t truly dare. Instead of going home, where she knew she’d have to brave Fiona’s pathetic attempts at celebration, she wandered around town aimlessly. It made her feel guilty to snap at the woman so much, but she just couldn’t help herself. Watching Fiona, only twelve years her senior, traipsing around in her house, humming the Dixie Chicks songs she knew her mother would’ve hated. Before she could apply any rational thought to the decision, she found her way to the bridge. The greenish-black water sparkled in glowing moonlight. Crickets sung and cicadas buzzed, a low summer tune. She hung her booted feet over the edge, the black cotton of her dress pooling around her knees. Rifling through her shoulder bag to the side, she found a copy of The Grapes of Wrath. A perfect book to sustain her gloomy mood. She laid back against the wooden planks of the pier, holding the novel above her face, blocking out the view of the clear night. The humidity had dissipated, and a cool breeze blew past her.

A few peaceful moments had passed before she heard footfalls thumping heavily, vibrating beneath her back. She sighed as the noise got closer, letting the book fall to her chest and rolling her eyes.

“Stealing my spot, huh?” Jess spoke up as he approached, shoving his hands in the pockets of his jeans.

“Sorry, didn’t realize you’d bought the property.”

“Touché.”

Though Ella still hadn’t looked over at him, she heard him sit down next to her. She could smell the subtle mixture of hair gel and pine.

“By all means, sit down,” she snapped, sitting up again, placing her scrap of construction paper back in the book to save her place. She stuffed it back in her bag to the left. Fiddling with the end of the loose braid which hung over her shoulder, she sighed again.

Jess scoffed. “Jeez, Daria. Don’t pull your punches.”

“Bite me, Jess,” she replied flatly, staring out across the water. In the light, she knew she would’ve been able to watch schools of tiny grey fish whizzing by. As a child, she’d imagined small mermaids living in a crystalline village beneath the surface of the dull silt and sand.

“Feelin’ pithy tonight?” he drawled, an eyebrow raised.

“You could say that.”

He only nodded, leaning back on his palms. Silence stood between the two of them, heavy in the nighttime air. Ella almost put her nails to her mouth, then thought better of it. When Jess still didn’t speak, she huffed out a big breath and finally tossed him a glance.

“Don’t you have someone to verbally abuse at the diner or a girlfriend’s face to suck or something?” she asked.

Jess shot her a look. Before he could even respond, Ella spoke again.

“As long as you’re here, could you loan me a cigarette?” she asked, a shameful blush coloring her cheeks. As much as the request embarrassed her, she couldn’t stand the way her skin was crawling.

“What?” Jess blurted out, eyes wide. “What happened to the periodic surgeon general’s warnings?”

She sighed, dropping her gaze to her lap and clearing her throat. “I’ve gotta keep you on your toes, don’t I?”

Though slightly flabbergasted, Jess’s eyes shone fondly, remembering the carriage ride they’d taken at the Bracebridge dinner so many months ago. After a moment, he produced a crumpled packet and a lighter from his pocket and handed them to her.

“Thank you,” she muttered, placing a cigarette between her lips. It surprised her that he actually obliged, considering how stand-offish he’d been at work lately. The lighter struck on the first try, the small orange flame flickering warmly in the darkness. And Jess could tell immediately it was far from the first time she’d smoked. She handed the supplies back to him.

He took a cigarette of his own and lit it up.

“Don’t tell Luke,” she said, voice slightly husky as she exhaled the first puff of smoke. Her words came out in dim blue clouds.

“I wouldn’t dare,” he replied, tapping ash into the lake and watching it burn out. “Your secret is safe, Stevens.”

“Thanks. I’ll consider it a birthday present,” she grumbled, feeling the familiar burn of smoke in her chest. She knew she would regret the decision in the morning.

“It’s your birthday?”

“Yep.”

“Happy birthday,” he said reflexively, eyebrows raised.

Scoffing bitterly, Ella flicked ash off her cigarette with her thumb. “Thanks, Mariano.”

“Is that why you’re gonna bite my head off at the next wrong move?”

She laughed humorlessly. “Yeah, birthdays aren’t my thing.”

“Huh. And I guess that’s why no one said anything at work?”

Ella nodded. “Yeah, after a few crying customers last year, Luke ordered the diner a birthday-free zone.”

“Wise of him.”

“It was.”

Regarding her in the moonlight, Jess sighed. “Any particular reason for the birthday allergy?”

Swallowing harshly, Ella brought her free hand to her necklace and a smirk formed on her face. “It’s just...my mom was a big birthday person. Without her here, it just all feels a little artificial. It’s weird. The anniversary of the day she died never hits me as hard as Mother’s Day, or today.”

He nodded, solemn as she continued.

“I try to spend as little time at home as I can. And Rory and Lorelai always try to get me to do something,” she said, pausing to inhale deeply and blow out a stream of smoke. “But I am nothing if not pertinacious.”

“Nice. Ten-cent word.”

“Thanks. Used it in the crossword this morning. I’d say it’s at least twenty cents,” she said, scoffing in mock offense.

Jess chuckled. “Alright, I’ll cave for the birthday girl.”

“How kind of you.”

Crushing the smoldering butt of her cigarette on the weathered bridge wood, Ella exhaled out her nose and crossed one leg over the other.  She smoothed her hands over her dress. Somewhere, a loon cried. Jess sat quietly beside her, the last of his cigarette glowing as he inhaled. When he put it out, he stood up and made to leave. Ella didn’t say a word, didn’t even look at him. After a second of thought, he held a hesitant hand out to her.

“Let’s go back to the diner,” he proposed with finality. “We can eat the leftover pie. There will be no birthday talk whatsoever. I promise.”

Looking at his hand, Ella thought of the book in her bag. The hours she could spend alone with nothing but Steinbeck to entertain her. But then, she felt a sudden rush of courage at the thought of Luke’s. Free of people, with pastries under the glass domes on the counters and stale pies in the back fridge. And Jess. She heaved a sigh, then slung her bag over her shoulder and grabbed his hand.

.   .   .

“No way,” Jess said, shaking his head doubtfully as he took another bite of the pie.

Ella smiled, nodding. “I swear. I was named the worst dancer out of all the little girls ever taught at Miss Patty’s by the Gazette. I was responsible for the domino incident of 1992 which caused two sprained ankles and one broken arm. Suffice it to say, the arm was mine.”

“Jesus,” Jess laughed, his eyebrows raised.

“Yeah, I’m Patrick Swayze’s worst nightmare.”

Jess rolled his eyes and threw his head back with a dramatic groan. “I’ll never understand your fixation with those cheesy eighties movies.”

“You bite your tongue, heathen,” she said lightly, digging another bite from the cold apple pie in the tin between them.

“Well, at least we can agree on Steinbeck,” he shrugged through a laugh.

She nodded and sighed tiredly, brought a hand to her necklace.

The diner shone brightly against the otherwise dark landscape of Main Street. Ella could hear Luke snoring from all the way upstairs, but it was almost comforting if not amusing. With the leftover pie between them, she and Jess sat alone amongst chairs stacked on tables and cutlery put away. It smelled vaguely of disinfectant, but the pine was still there, making her heart feel just a touch less broken. Maybe being alone wasn’t the best way to pass one of the hardest days of her year.

“I’m surprised she still even lets you step foot in the studio, leaving that much carnage in your wake,” Jess said, smirking at the way the tension slowly released from her shoulders.

Snorting a laugh, Ella took another bite of the pie. She could tell it was made from her recipe, heavy on the cinnamon. “Well, the years have improved my coordination a little bit.”

“But have they?” he teased.

“Shut up,” she retorted, good nature in her voice.

A comfortable pause filled the air. Jess’s eyes caught her thin fingers still rolling the silver chain of her necklace. She blew up a long breath and straightened up, putting her fork back down in the tin, the half-pie almost all the way gone.

Nodding, Jess swallowed dryly and bit at his lip. “Why do you wear that necklace every day?”

Eyes widening, Ella couldn’t help but feel taken aback by the question. She let out a self-conscious scoff and her hand immediately dropped away from her collar. The small silver charm, a key, glinted in the yellow diner light.

“My grandmother gave it to me,” she explained, her tone even though she avoided his eyes. “It’s the key to the jewelry box she had when she was little. The box got lost, but the key stayed. She was a singer. Friends with Miss Patty. Pretty fucking cool.”

Jess smiled a tiny smile. “Sounds like it.”

“Yeah,” she replied, the word a sigh. Then, after a beat, she regained her direct nature and looked him in the eye. “Okay, since we’re asking questions tonight: why the hell are there bongos on the shelf above your desk?”

Jess laughed, but his cheeks reddened a touch. “Those were there when I moved in. Scout’s Honor.”

She rolled her eyes. “You are the last person in the world they would ever let into the Scouts.”

“Wow, that one hurt.”

Ella smiled. “Then what’s Luke doing with those bongos?”

“Preparing for a Matthew McConaughey,” Jess shot back knowingly.

“Ugh, that image is gonna be burned in my mind forever,” she groaned, nose scrunching up in disgust.

“You’re welcome.”

“Fuck you,” she said, grinning.

“Right back at ya.”

Suddenly, a loud snore came from the floor above them.

“Speaking of,” Ella grumbled, only in mock irritation.

“Like you don’t snore.”

“Only when I’m drunk,” she said, then looked up at him, accusatory. “But you. Oh my god, it was all night long. Really, the two of you put together could probably break some sonic records.”

Instead of retorting, Jess retrieved his weathered deck of cards from one of his jean pockets. He raised his eyebrows as a challenge and began shuffling. “Just for that last comment, you’re about to be massacred at Rummy.”

.   .   .

A knot of anxiety sat in her stomach, but work was helping her keep it at bay. It was the last Saturday of summer, Monday the start of senior year. But the waves of butterflies fluttering around in her chest weren’t ones of nervousness, more only of dread. The constant drudgery of school work, the monotony of the day. She liked summer for more reasons than the mood and the weather. Free time to read, to draw, to paint. And she much preferred painting the full greenery over the desolate landscapes of a Connecticut winter. The fact she hadn’t seen Jess since the night before, when she left the diner satisfied with herself for winning three hands in a row, was doing nothing to calm her either. After cleaning up from the breakfast rush, Ella was mindlessly reorganizing the mugs on the cubby shelf to the left of the counter by color and size.

“Alright, this is ridiculous,” Luke admonished, walking up behind her.

She scoffed. “It’s not my fault these mugs haven’t been reorganized since Reagan was president.”

“Because they were the last ones you hadn’t got your hands on. You’re starting to sound like Taylor.”

Instantly, she turned and narrowed her eyes at him. “The next time you say that to me I’m turning in my apron and never looking back!”

Luke scoffed in disbelief at her dramatics. “Just take your break, Ella.”

“You think I’m bluffing,” she warned, untying her apron and leaving it on the hook near the kitchen window, “but I’m dead serious.”

“I’m quaking in my boots,” Luke replied flatly, gathering some receipts from the side of the cash register.

“I bet,” she shot back, rounding the corner and going to dig through her bag, hanging by the front door. “Is Jess here? I’ve got a book for him.”

“Upstairs,” Luke said shortly.

Retracting her hand from the shoulder bag, with a worn collection of Dorothy Parker, she rolled her eyes. She tucked her hair behind her ears and prepared to disappear behind the checkered curtain on the way to the stairs.

“Has anyone ever told you you’re a master conversationalist?” she asked.

“Shaddup,” he groaned, waving an annoyed hand at her in the direction of the apartment.

Ella snickered, then bounded up the stairs, the soles of her old converse a little slippery on the creaking wood. She heard the TV droning on from inside, daytime Saturday shows. Only a couple short knocks sounded on the door before she let herself in, as she had so many times before when fetching random items during her shifts.

“Hey, Jess-” she began, turning to the left, Jess’s room.

Cut off by a sudden flash of noise, she watched Jess stuff a blue mesh vest quickly into the top drawer of his dresser. Eyes wide with surprise, he faced her with a scowl, brows scrunched up.

“Ever hear of knocking, Daria?” he snapped.

Processing the scene before her, Ella blinked a couple times and bit the inside of her cheek. “Sorry. Guess I was too quiet.”

“Apparently.” He crossed his arms over his Punk Planet t-shirt and looked at her expectantly. “You need something?”

Ella cleared her throat, looking down at the book in her hands. “Yeah, I had that Dorothy Parker I was telling you about last night and…” she paused, glancing at his dresser. “I’m sorry, Jess, but I simply can’t ignore this. Was that a Walmart vest?”

“What?”

“You heard me.”

He straightened up, defensively. “No.”

“Really?”

“You heard me,” he shot back.

Pursing her lips, she nodded, unconvinced. She stepped a little closer to him, one hand on the hip of her skirt. “So, what was it?”

“A shirt.”

“A shirt with a Walmart logo on it?” she asked, her voice gaining a teasing lilt.

Jess scoffed. “I think you need glasses.”

A momentary staring contest ensued, and she watched him squirm under her hazel gaze. “Do you work at Walmart, Jess?”

Sighing through his nose, Jess glared at her. Then, he ran a hand through his hair and side-stepped Ella, making his way to the kitchen. “Fine. Yes. You happy?”

Instantly, a smile spread wide on her face. “Oh, so very happy.”

“Glad to hear it,” he growled, avoiding eye contact as he popped open a can of soda. He sat down at the kitchen table, facing the I Dream of Jeannie rerun.

Biting back her giggles, Ella came over to take the rickety kitchen chair next to him. Clearing her throat, she put the book in her hand on the table between then. She smoothed her slightly wrinkled Patti Smith t-shirt and tried to appear nonchalant, a smirk ever-present on her lips. Jess sipped his soda, eyes dark and moody, embarrassment underneath a thin layer of irritation. Nearly five minutes passed on the oven clock in the small kitchen, both of them watching Barbara Eden’s foibles in silence. Ella bit a little at her nails, but only to mask her amused expression.

“So...all this time...Shangri-la was Walmart?” she asked.

Jess sighed, rolling his eyes. “Eleanor-”

“You work at Walmart,” she repeated, chuckling a little.

“Whatever. You smoke,” he countered.

“Like, twice a year,” she said defensively. “When did you even start that job?”

Bowing his head slightly, Jess finally dropped the act a bit. “June. When you were in New Britain.”

She sighed, nodding, then brought a hand to his arm. “I’m really proud of you. I mean, you can’t waste all your people skills at the diner.”

Jess shook her off and rolled his eyes again. “Shut up. I move stock around on a fork-lift in the back.”

“Okay, tough guy.”

“And don’t tell Luke,” he said, finally looking her in the eye.

She shrugged. “Fine, I won’t. Cross my heart.”

“Thank you,” he snapped.

“You’re very welcome,” she replied, still grinning. “Seriously, though, it’s not that lame. Trust me. I think it’s cool. You have your own thing going, y’know?”

Jess scoffed in doubt but said nothing more.

Clearing her throat, Ella shifted her eyes down to her lap for a second, the tone of her voice changing. “But enough about your double-life, Mr. Bond. I just wanted to bring you that book. And also thank you for last night.”

Jess raised a brow, eyes on the TV screen. “For what?”

“I don’t know. If you hadn’t come along, my plan was to read Steinbeck at the lake, then sneak home and listen to Nirvana through my headphones,” she explained. “But instead I got to eat old pie and kick your ass at cards.”

“Such a sore winner,” he muttered, cracking a little smirk.

She laughed quietly, her fingers finding their way to her necklace. “And sorry if I was...I don’t usually talk about my mom. Not exactly a crowd-pleasing topic. Just on Mother’s Day and my birthday, I...You didn’t have to listen.”

“Don’t worry. I don’t do things I don’t wanna do,” he said, casting her a momentary glance, a small, lopsided smile on his face. It was more genuine than she was prepared for, and she had to look away as her cheeks heated up.

Rising from the table, she made to leave, hoping not to overstay her welcome. “Anyway, thanks. It was the best birthday I’ve had in awhile.”

Running a hand over his mouth, Jess blew out a breath and faced her fully again. “Anytime, Stevens.”

He looked as though he were about to say something more, but she could practically see him swallow it down. Instead, he got up from his seat and switched off the TV. Going over to his side of the apartment, she watched him grab a CD from the top of a small stack on his dresser. She couldn’t quite read the cover, but could see it was filled with shades of black and red.

“How long do you have left on your break?”

Ella looked down at her watch then back up at him. “Still have about twenty minutes.”

He nodded, gesturing to the CD. “I get fifteen percent off at the store, so I picked this up the other day. Just came out. It made me think of you. I thought you might wanna listen?”

“Oh,” she said dumbly, surprised. She nodded. “Yeah, yeah, sure. As long as it’s not jazz.”

“It’s not,” Jess assured her, chuckling.

As he opened his closet and brought out the small stereo, she took a few steps closer, arms crossed. She couldn’t help the fluttering in her chest or the way her cheeks flushed with heat. In all the time she’d known Jess, she couldn’t remember ever feeling quite so anxious around him. Quite so antsy. She almost couldn’t explain the feeling, but it wasn’t one she minded.

“I would’ve shown you last night if I knew it was your birthday,” he mentioned as he pressed play.

As the music started, he suddenly didn’t know what to do with himself. Sit on the bed? On his desk chair? Instead, he leaned on the desktop itself, hands stuffed in his pockets. He regretted the decision already, showing her the music. He’d meant to do it at some point, during one of their friendly book exchanges. But then the air between them had become charged again, and she was about to walk away from the moment. He wanted it to last just a little longer, time with the one person in Stars Hollow he actually enjoyed being with. Even if she didn’t feel quite the same as him, even if she never would.

Ella felt the slight vibrations of the music in the soles of her soles as she stepped closer to the stereo, picking up the CD case from his dresser. She turned it over in her hands. Turn on the Bright Lights by Interpol. It surprised her she hadn’t heard of them before; Lane usually kept her in the know about such things. They must have been very young, very new. But she liked it, the echoing guitars and the drums. Judging from the back cover, the song to which they now listened was simply called “Untitled.”

“They’re good,” she said, putting the case back down. “Different. I like it.”

Jess shrugged. “Figured you would. What with all that sad shit you listen to. The other songs are a little more lively. They’re no Fleetwood Mac, but…”

Walking closer still, she stopped when she was only a couple feet in front of him. Her heart beat with the music, and she swallowed dryly. Something was clicking in her head.

“Jess?”

He looked up, and his brown eyes locked with hers. “Yeah?”

Before she could rethink it, before she could talk herself out of it, before she could silence her heart with her head, she brought a hand to the back of his neck and kissed him. His shock was sudden but brief. Almost immediately, he wound his arms around her waist. And he was kissing back, sweetly, gently at first, then deeper. She was flush against him, smiling into it. The music beat quietly around them, and his grip was warm, and his lips felt exactly right. Ella wanted it to never end, for the moment to last forever, alive, and never cross over and turn to mere memory.

#jess mariano imagines #jess mariano imagine #jess mariano one shot #jess mariano one shots #jess mariano fanfiction #gilmore girls fanfiction #gilmore girls #jess mariano #jess #mariano #jess mariano x oc #gilmore girls imagines #jess mariano x original character #original character stories #gilmore girls AU #jess mariano AU #original character #original character stories #luke danes #rory gilmore #lorelai gilmore

[skia-oura]

Closing Costs

A/N: Just a fun lil fic about the Ben Trio going house hunting :)

ao3

___________________________________________________

CORDALINE GABLES

Senior Sales Associate

[email protected]

Phone  HomeStar Inc. Messaging

 Originally from Fairfax, Old Jersey, Cordaline Gables made her home in Norfolk over a decade ago, and has worked in real estate for nineteen years. She double-majored in Business and Transcendence-Age Architecture at the prestigious University of San Antonio. Her expertise is in finding gems hidden in the crooks and corners of suburban Norfolk, but she is additionally skilled at scouting lovely apartments and homes further away from the city center. When she isn’t matching clients to their dream homes, Cordelia enjoys playing recreational badminton with her partner and taking long walks together with their beloved dog, Sniffles. Please place your trust in Cordelia!

Audio Version             Non-English Versions             Font Adjustment

 -

 New Automated Message: New Customer Application Form

NAME: Torako Lam

PARTNER: Yes [2] ; NAME: Bentley Farkas ; NAME: Tyrone Pines

CHILDREN: No

AGE: 27 ; DOB: June 17 3016

PHONE  EMAIL

PRICE RANGE: Up to $350,000  flexible inflexible

LOCATION: Within [75]km from [Niklakka Labs]

SIZE: 450—600 m2

BD: [3+]        

BTH: [1.5+]    

K: [Yes]          

LR: [No]

GRG: [No]

BY/GDN: [Yes]          

à SIZE: 125—175 m2

ADDITIONAL REQUESTS HERE:

--No dimensional subspaces

--Away from magically-charged hotspots

--Customizable Security Systems

--Garden Shed on premises, please

--Large Windows a Plus

Thank you for accommodating us! We look forward to hearing back about the properties under your purview and making our viewing appointments!

 -

 To: [email protected]

From: [email protected]

SUBJECT: Hello from Homestar Realtors!!

RECEIVED: July 19th, 3042

 Dear Torako Lam,

           It’s a pleasure to make your virtual acquaintance! My name is Cordelia Gables, and I’m your HomeStar Inc. appointed estate agent. I look forward to working with you and fulfilling your needs in this new chapter of your life. I have attached a list of five properties that I think may fit your needs. Please view them with your partners and let me know if there are any that don’t fit your specifications so that we may get them out of the way before viewing the homes in person. I await your reply at your earliest convenience!

 Sincerely,

Cordelia Gables

HomeStar Inc. Realtors

 House Profile 1/5:

1345 16th Avenue

Norfolk, VA 68C 22980

4 Beds  | 2 Bath  |  529 m2  | $298,000

[49 img]

 A lovely four-bedroom family home, this property includes high-quality faux-wood flooring, recently renovated wallboard, and a lovely spiral staircase straight out of a 2500’s property magazine. The kitchen boasts a brand-new stove and oven set as well as a state of the art StayFridge™ made from the finest recycled materials from North Africa. The front garden is already blooming with the loveliest daphnes, and the entire property is fenced in by rosebushes. The backyard is perfect for the smallest feet, whether those be of children or beloved pets. Don’t forget the stylish and practical EverExpanding Cabinetry installed in every part of the house—you will never run out of storage space! Each bathroom boasts a shower-tub combo, and the upper floor bathroom comes with gorgeous hand-tiled floors.

House Profile 2/5:

195 St. Phillip’s Crtwy.

Norfolk, VA 68C 22980

3 Beds  | 3 Bath  |  501 m2  |  $311,000

[12 img]

 This three-bedroom, three-story property sits in the center of the city, a mere five-minute’s walk from two elementary schools and ten minutes from the nearest junior high school. While the original structure dates back all the way to 2258, its most recent renovation was completed less than five years ago in 3039. You are certain to love the open kitchen-dining-living room setup that comprises the bottom floor, leaving the remaining three beds and two baths on the upper two floors. Each bedroom has a Magical View Window, with settings that include worldwide destinations as well as the default ‘Real’ setting for those who prefer to stay close to home. Comes with a Laundry Room in an AltBasement. Gardening space and shed included.

 House Profile 3/5:

98 Summer Estates 29¾ th St.

Norfolk, VA 68C 22981

5 Beds  | 2.5 Bath  |  598 m2  | $253,000

[28 img]

             Don’t let this house’s exterior fool you! This customizable and generous home is sure to make you feel a sense of belonging inside with its cozy ethically-sourced carpets, warm ReelWoodTM paneled walls, and burnished staircase leading to a second floor. This home includes a basement for any storage needs as well as an attic! An antique kitchen with a real non-stasis fridge are sure to fill you with longing for older, simpler times away from the busy heyday of modern life and modern worries. While the garden needs some tender love in the front (perfect for those who love a project!), the back hosts two sheds and plenty of space to grow your own produce!

 House Profile 4/5:

637 S. Felicity Dr.

Norfolk, VA 68C 22982

4 Beds  | 2 Bath  |  645 m2  | $290,000

[118 img]

             Comfortably situated in the hilly outskirts of Norfolk, this property will let you live out all your rural life fantasies without sacrificing the conveniences of urban living. Located close to a municipal transport station and within a ten minute’s bike ride of a small neighborhood shopping center, this two-story house boasts an expansive front porch and a balcony off the master bedroom. Each bedroom is larger than average, and each bathroom has a shower/tub room separate from the toilet and wash sink. The kitchen is recently renovated with state of the art appliances included in the price of purchase. The grounds around the property are large enough for both a garden and for outdoor activities such as badminton or good old fashioned tag. A basement provides adequate storage space without the hassle of dimensional subspace installment or upkeep.

 House Profile 5/5:

12841 NE 112th Pl.

Norfolk, VA 68C 22981

3 Beds  | 1.5 Bath  |  398 m2  |  $215,000

[56 img]

             Boasting a reasonably large garden, this cozy home is at the southern end of the city, within convenient distance of a major hospital, a police station, and several schools. Public transportation is not an issue! And neither will be cooking in the quaint kitchenette, set directly across a furnished dining room. One bedroom and half bathroom are on the bottom floor, and the remaining rooms are located on the second floor. Please see the attached images for more information!

 -

 July 19th

KoraTora

I’ve forwarded you the message the realtors sent me. Objections to any of these before I comb through them for my own preferences?

 DipTipTyrone

i still vote we just shack up with the sheep

 KoraTora

Oh my stars dips that’s

we agreed that’s not a possibility

we would literally go insane

 Bentley:

No, we would go mad almost immediately

Yes what Tora said

Um, looking at them, House 1 is out for sure. You sure you specified no extra-dimensional subspaces?

 KoraTora

You know I did

 DipTipTyrone

i got a perfectly good house up there. antique. ud love it. historians dream. excellent neighbors too. dont pry. no drama.

also protip house3 has some srs bad vibes. I think I actually recognize the basement wallpaper, on second thought.

 KoraTora

????

 DipTipTyrone

Yeah, that striping—oh, that was a pretty good one. Didn’t need to answer a call for the following five years.

 Bentley

In that case, I think we’re not going to do house 3, Tora.

 KoraTora

Ohshit

Whaddya mean, Ben?? Don’t want to live there?? It could???? Be fun!!!!

 Bentley

Yeah no

 KoraTora

Roger that, no worries.

So no to 1 and 3, any others problematic?

Oh wait Ben, u might want to take another look at 2 if u haven’t already.

 Bentley

?

What do you mean, it looked fine?

3 stories are good by me

Sure the counters in the kitchen are ugly in the photos but?

 DipTipTyrone

AltBasement and Magic Windows

u wont like them

 Bentley

Oh

Okay, then 1-3 are all out. You good with 4 and 5, Tora? Dip?

 KoraTora

Yeah I hated 2’s counters too

So I’m good with checking 4 and 5 out for now.

We can always see others after this too!!

 DipTipTyrone

youre the ones actually living there

 KoraTora

Don’t u start on that mister

ur living with us, even if you’re not always around

 Bentley

It’s gonna be your home too, you know

Anyways, I can make time for an appointment next week, Tora, so don’t worry about timing on my end too much

They keep trying to send me home early anyways. Keep talking about PTSD and resting and whatever.

 KoraTora

What happened??

I will drag you home

And lay on you

And make you rest

 Bentley

Nothing happened!! They’re just worried

All the time

…Dipper you did not show up at the front desk.

This is not a good place for you

Dipper

 KoraTorako

Dipper yes!!

But also no!!!!!!

 DipTipTyrone

We’ll be home soon.

Love you.

 KoraTorako

<3

But also that was dumb shit you just pulled

 -

Appointment Notice

7/21/42

SSA: Gables, ID 980039385

CLIENT: Torako Lam +2, ID 64239

PROPERTIES: House #4428, House #6609

START TIME: 10:30, from HomeStar Inc. HQ

END TIME: 12:30, SPECIAL ALLOWANCE Late Lunch Hour, Gables, ID 980039385

NOTES:

Will initially view House #4428 before venturing out to the outskirts of Norfolk to view House #6609. Hopefully one suffices; if not, consider suggesting Houses #1103, #4345, and #3327.

Potentially choosy clients.

 -

 Shari Ndadia, 11:28 AM

Cords, I heard you’re back early?

What happened?

 Cordelia Gables, 11:29 AM

My intuition was right, they are uncannily choosy clients

We didn’t even make it into 4428 before one of them stopped still and said ‘No.’

 Shari Ndadia, 11:29 AM

Holy shit

What??

What was it?? It couldn’t have been the exterior. It was so nice in the pics I’ve seen.

You always snatch up the nice ones.

 Cordelia Gables, 11:30 AM

Apparently

The InvisiFence was too magical

 Shari Ndadia, 11:30 AM

What the?

But, like, almost all the houses in Norfolk proper have InvisiFences?

 Cordelia Gables, 11:30 AM

Exactly

Which is why I thought ‘oh thank God we’ve got 6609, no InvisiFence’

And it went well at first, but then I told them about the security system

And the tall one was like ‘oh no’

And I was also like ‘oh no’

 Shari Ndadia, 11:32 AM

Wait

Wait

You’re still at square one with these clients?

 Cordelia Gables, 11:32 AM

Yes.

 Shari Ndadia, 11:32 AM

You? Queen of Sales?

She Who Strikes Yes On At Least One Initial Property?

 Cordelia Gables, 11:33 AM

Like I said: choosy.

 Shari Ndadia, 11:33 AM

What was wrong with the security system?

 Cordelia Gables, 11:33 AM

Not customizable

Though to be fair

They probably were only going to give that house a maybe

They weren’t too thrilled about the stasis fridge

 Shari Ndadia, 11:35 AM

…choosy.

I wish you luck with them. You going to go through our backlog of communal properties yet?

 Cordelia Gables, 11:36 AM

I’m not that desperate yet.

 -

To: [email protected]

From: [email protected]

SUBJECT: Issue with Client Lam [64239]

RECEIVED: July 30th, 3042

Mx. Pinkflax

           I regret to inform you that I have truly exhausted all of our listed properties for Client Lam and her partners. They have refused everything I have offered; I wonder myself if the property they want even exists within Norfolk. Between their confusing and adamant disdain for any kind of dimensional subspace (including things as mundane as storage spaces) and their insistence on customizable security systems, as well as their avoidance and hesitance around any kind of technology that involves stasis in any way, shape, or form, it has been impossible to fulfil their needs with the properties available to us.

           My suggestion moving forward is to either assign them to another Realtor within HomeStar, or to transfer their entire application to another company. If I recall correctly, you are on friendly terms with Lindquist Realtors. Perhaps something in their directory will suffice.

 Sincerely

Cordelia Gables

 To: [email protected]

From: [email protected]

SUBJECT: RE: Issue with Client Lam [64239]

RECEIVED: July 30th, 3042

Cordelia,

           Are you sure there’s nothing? You’ve gone through the communal backlog? I’ve looked over the application and I have some thoughts. What about House #7421? Or #8577? They’re a bit above price range, but I believe they could work.

 Olive Pinkflax

 To: [email protected]

From: [email protected]

SUBJECT: RE: Issue with Client Lam [64239]

RECEIVED: July 30th, 3042

Mx. Pinkflax,

           With all due respect, I have met with this trio every day for the last week. I dug into the backlog. I have recommended over 50 properties and shown them about a third of those. I was close with #4443, but the damn pet flap and subspace pet room killed it. If I don’t get a break from dealing with these very nice, very terrible clients, I will explode. The brown haired one has taken to very poorly concealed laughter whenever the hoodie-mask one refuses to set foot on the property. I cannot.

           If you have ideas of properties that would suffice, please be my guest. It would be nice to get back into the practical side if things, wouldn’t it?

 Sincerely,

Cordelia Gables

 -                              

 OLIVE PINKFLAX

Senior Realtor

[email protected]

Phone  HomeStar Inc. Messaging

 Born and raised in Norfolk, Olive Pinkflax hasn’t always wanted to be in the real estate business. They studied History of Architecture and Design in Georgia at the University of Savannah with the intent of pursuing a career in either graphic design or interior decorating. They then went abroad to work at non-profit agencies for a total of five years—in which the job market back home changed, largely at the fault of the Recession of 2978. Due to a lack of job openings, however, they eventually took a secretarial position at UniqNorfolq, a small real-estate business. There, they learned the tools of the trade due to insufficient staffing. By 2995, UniqNorfolq had become HomeStar under Pinkflax’s capable hand. While still small, they have grown the company into a name synonymous with quality, perseverance, and dedication to their clients. When not busy at their company, Pinkflax enjoys painting at home and doting on their pet rat, Squeakums.  

Audio Version             Non-English Versions             Font Adjustment

 -

 Client Transfer Notice, HomeStar Inc. Realtors

7/30/42

CLIENT: Torako Lam +2, ID 64239

ORG SSA: Gables, ID 980039385

NEW SSA: Pinkflax, ID 980012114

REASONING:

Client Lam and her partners have proven to be challenging cases. As this is the case, I have decided that the current best course of action would be to handle their properties personally. Attached to their case file are a list of all the properties that they have been recommended and shown, as well as notes describing their reasons for discontinuing interest. I am open to collaboration and ideas.

Pinkflax

 -

 July 31st

KoraTorako

We’ve been transferred to another Realtor at HomeStar, guys. Apparently it’s the owner of the company.

Bentley

I was afraid this would happen.

We’re being so picky.

DipTipTyrone

Better to be picky now and end up with what we want later!

A quickly made deal is always worse for the receiving party. Better to bide our time.

KoraTorako

Yeah, what Dip said

Also, of course we’re picky??? We’re traumatized.

We’re allowed to be picky, even if they don’t know why.

Bentley

I mean…I could live with a subspace we’d never use, I guess

KoraTorako

No

DipTipTyrone

No

Bentley

Why??

It’s my hangup

KoraTorako

You’re already compromising on stasisware

Bentley

We can always replace that!!

KoraTorako

So?? It still makes you super uncomfortable for completely valid reasons.

I still think we shouldn’t compromise on that.

Bentley

If we didn’t compromise on that

There would be nothing in Norfolk

I’m starting to think there is nothing with our current demands

The house on Clement was cute, wasn’t it? It was nice!

DipTipTyrone

It had the subspace pet flap

Bentley

That we’d never use!!

KoraTorako

You looked ready to start sparking

Or glittering

And also you had that ‘I’m on the edge of reexperiencing all of my recent traumas’ face on

Bentley

If I can deal with everything in daily life

I can deal with a pet flap

KoraTorako

But it’s our home

You shouldn’t have to deal with it at home

This is supposed to be a safe space.

DipTipTyrone

Home isn’t daily—ok Torako got me.

Bentley

It’d be better than the apartment we’re living in right now

Which

If you remember

Is where I got kidnapped from

DipTipTyrone

I do keep mentioning we can live with the Sheep

KoraTorako

You make a fair point, Bentley But also, this is a house we’re going to be in for a long while

Let’s make it worth it, ok?

Bentley

I

Fine, whatever

KoraTorako

I don’t want us to live here either

If we need to we can, I don’t know, AirDrop an apartment for a couple months

Keep our stuff in the apartment so that we don’t have to move it all immediately

We can make this work, Ben. We can have our steak and eat it too.

…

Bentley?

 -

Appointment Notice

8/03/42

SSA: Pinkflax, ID 980012114

CLIENT: Torako Lam +2

PROPERTIES: House #7421, House #8577, House #2468, House #1697

START TIME: 12:30, departure from HomeStar Inc. HQ

END TIME: 15:30, departure either from House #1697 or from HomeStar Inc. HQ in best case scenario

Starting with Houses #8577 and #7421 on the very outskirts of Norfolk, we will work our way into the center of town where both House #2468 and #1697 are located. None of the properties have any listed subspace technology integrated into the premises, none of them have magically-powered fences or windows, and only one comes equipped with a stasis fridge. Will make offer to replace fridge with an older but still highly functional device free of charge if the property is accepted.

 -

Client Profile Update

DATE:8/03/42

CLIENT: Torako Lam +2 [Bentley Farkas, Tyrone Pines]

CLIENT ID: 64239

CLASSIFICATION: Buyer

SPECIFICATIONS: Listed below

…

PROPERTY RECORD:

SSA: Gables, ID 980039385

 House #1212: Declined w/o viewing.

Reasoning: Extra-dimensional installations and heavy reliance on Magitech Appliances. [detail: Kitchen Appliances, Cabinetry]

 House #3958: Declined w/o viewing.

Reasoning: Extra-dimensional installations and heavy reliance on Magitech Appliances. [detail: Alternative Basement, Windows]

 House # 2249: Declined w/o viewing.

Reasoning: Basement wallpaper and house history. [detail: 2950’s owners were heavily involved with the Cult of Futures Past, Decorative Preferences]

 House #4428: Viewed, but declined.

Reasoning: Heavy reliance on Magitech Appliances [detail: InvisiFence surrounding property. Client Farkas refused to cross the boundary, saying “No” nearly immediately. Apparently sensitive to magical energy. Caution moving onwards is advised.]

 House #6609: Viewed, but declined.

Reasoning: Security System installed in the property is incapable of being customized. [detail: Client Lam has expressed that a non-customizable security system is out of the question. Furthermore, Client Farkas expressed discomfort with the Stasis Fridge. Caution moving onwards is advised.]

 House #1033: Declined w/o viewing.

Reasoning: Interior did not align with Client Decorative Preferences. [detail: shag carpeting, loud wallpaper, windows too small]

 House #3290: Declined w/o viewing.

Reasoning: Security System installed in the property is incapable of being customized.

[detail: Client Lam somehow pieced together the security code engraved around all the doors and windows, researched it, and discovered that the code is unalterable without starting over completely from scratch. IE, a warding expert carefully sanding down the inscribed code and then re-installing it to customer specifications. The House Profile has since been updated. Client Lam has since expressed that she would be open to having an initially insecure home to make secure herself. Uncertain if actually qualified to do such work.]

 House #5533: Viewed, but declined.

Reasoning: Household Electrical Wiring is too reliant on MagiTech. [detail: Client Farkas, again, expressed his distaste with the whole affair immediately upon entering the house by saying, “No,” and walking out again. How he noticed the wiring through solid wall is a mystery for the ages. Sensitivity to magic alone cannot explain it.]

 House #7567: Viewed, but declined.

Reasoning: Interior did not align with Client Decorative Preferences. [detail: Upon seeing the decoratively engraved floorboards up close, Client Pines recoiled and uttered, verbatim, “The day I spend any significant amount of time in this accursed home is the day I lay waste to the whole of humanity.” Apparently the script contains excerpts from the original Twin Souls literature. Housing detail has been accordingly updated.]

 House #2675: Declined w/o viewing.

Reasoning: Interior did not align with Client Decorative Preferences. [detail: Apparently, Clients Lam, Farkas, and Pines are not fans of rooster-themed kitchen décor.]

 House #1181: Viewed, but declined.

Reasoning: Basement too reliant on MagiTech and extra-dimensional subspace technology. [detail: The basement was a secret basement. Client Pines stared at the living room floor for an uncomfortably long time before raising his head and telling the SSA, “You might want to be careful opening that.” Property Owner has since been alerted and advised to proceed with caution.]

[UPDATE 7/29: Property has been pulled from the market while police reopen a case and conduct an investigation.]

 House #4482: Declined w/o viewing.

Reasoning: Interior did not align with Client Preferences. [detail: 3 bedrooms minimum is non-negotiable and the bathrooms were too cramped]

 House #5319: Declined w/o viewing.

Reasoning: Interior did not align with Client Decorative Preferences. [detail: They don’t like the color of the walls. Note to stay away from overly bright greens and yellows in the future.]

 …

[scrolling]

…

 House #5497: Declined w/o viewing.

Reasoning: House Address. [detail: like many other clients before them, the prospects of living at 6969 Dickinson Straightway appear to have caused the clients to decline this particular property.]

 House #9569: Viewed, but declined.

Reasoning: Building Materials not up to Client Standards. [detail: After showing the clients around the property for fifteen minutes, Client Lam hummed, squinted her eyes at the nearest window, and said, “Does that window look like somebody could break through it to you two?” The next five minutes were spent by Clients Lam and Pines discussing the fragility of triple-reinforced glass against various potential weapons, tools, etc {not limited to but including demonic powers, a bazooka, and a thumbtack} while Client Farkas sat down on the floor, put his gloved hands over his face, and muttered a nearly unintelligible “I’m sorry” to presumably the SSA. These clients are hopeless.]

 House #4443: Viewed, but declined.

Reasoning: Pet Flap and Pet Room are too reliant on extra-dimensional subspaces. [detail: Client Farkas stared at the pet flap, turned around, and put his hand on the SSA’s shoulder before saying, “No,” and walking out. Housing information has since been updated to include the unlisted Pet Room.]

 House #3944: Declined w/o viewing.

Reasoning: Unclear. [detail: Client Lam, in the emailed response, simply said, “Look, we’re all tired and this house is too square(?) for {Client Pines}, so we’re just gonna give it a couple days before trying again.”]

[SSA is going to file for a transfer of client.]

 SSA: Pinkflax, ID 980012114

 House #7421: Viewed, but declined.

Reasoning: Distance.

Detail: Too far from nearest transporter station.

SSA Comments: Clients appeared pleased with most aspects of the house. As per SSA Gable’s consultation, Client Lam appears most concerned with matters of household security. Client Farkas is harder to read, due to constantly wearing sunglasses, a hoodie, and a surgical mask despite the weather, but does not hesitate to make his opinions clear. Client Pines is…a mystery.

 House #8577: Viewed, but declined.

Reasoning: Décor, House Layout, Location.

Detail: Housing does not come with security, but the spackled walls and ceiling are apparently difficult to do the variety of warding Client Lam is used to. Layout is, according to Client Pines, confusing. House 8577 is also apparently on the edge of a minor magical hotspot, as Client Farkas has confirmed.

SSA Comments: The difficulty in getting the clients a suitable home is evident. Client Farkas appears to be the biggest wildcard, despite his consistency in what he refuses. There simply does not seem to be a reliable way to ensure that the properties will not set him against them and are simultaneously up to other standards shared by all three clients.

 House #2468: Viewed, but declined.

Reasoning: House Size, presence of Extra-Dimensional Subspace, Décor.

Detail: At 780m2, the premises were too large for upkeep. While Client Pines seemed to disagree, offering to do more cleaning in exchange for snacks and ice cream, both Client Lam and Client Farkas weren’t convinced enough to ignore the décor (the elaborate crown molding is too “ostentatious” and “creepy,”) and certainly not when the non-disclosed extra-dimensional subspace was discovered in a false wardrobe.

SSA Comments: After the clients left, I investigated. Inside the subspace, kept pristine likely only by the fact that time does not pass quickly within those places, was an additional bed and a luxurious bathroom. The style of bedsheets and drapes indicates that the subspace was installed nearly a century ago, which seems odd seeing as subspaces in those days were unstable and tended to disintegrate. On a different note, this time it was both Clients Pines and Farkas who balked at the presence of the subspace. Take note to pay more attention to reactions in the future, and to survey properties properly before visitations.

 House #1697: Viewed, but declined.

Reasoning: Security System.

Detail: Client Lam disagreed with the validity and effectiveness of the existing security system, and upon a close study of it (25 minutes), declared that it would be too difficult to properly alter and that removal would only be slightly easier.

SSA Comments: I would pay for the removal myself if it made these clients buy the house. There were no other issues with it. Upon my making the offer out loud, Client Lam laughed and said, “No, no, that’s all right! I’d rather find something a little more ready first!”

 House #2292: Declined w/o viewing.

Reasoning: House Layout.

Detail: House is built like a townhome, with a main room and bathroom on each of its 5 levels; Clients professed concern regarding the kitchen being on a separate floor from the living and dining room.

SSA Comments: Unfortunate. The building fit all of their specifications—the security system installed is simple to both customize and remove, there are miraculously no extra dimensional spaces on premises, and the only significant presence of magical technology in the entire property is the mailbox, which can be replaced at a very low cost. We investigated ourselves. Client Lam, their partnership’s point of contact, did say that it was a close call, but that ultimately they would only purchase when completely satisfied.

 House #1357: Viewed, but declined.

Reasoning: Décor.

Detail: Client Pines felt the colors were too ‘smorple’ and ‘floreen’ and several other descriptors that do not appear in any dictionary. When asked if he had noticed the issues when viewing the profile sent to them, he confessed that the colors simply ‘were different in person.’ Client Lam agreed that she didn’t appreciate the tile flooring in the kitchen. Client Farkas was quiet.  

SSA Comments: I hate to admit it, but I know a lost cause when I see one. Do they even want a house?

 -

 To: [email protected]

From: [email protected]

Attached: ClientRecord64239.qbf

SUBJECT: A Professional Request

RECEIVED: August 7th, 3042

Dearest Qilar,

             I hope that this message finds you well. How is your family doing? I (and Squeakums, for that matter) look forward to our bi-weekly dinner and movie. I know you’ve discussed that the last full moon has left you feeling worn out, and I look forward to relaxing with you for a night.

           I write this message in the hopes that you would be amenable to taking on a client of ours. Unfortunately, we have been incapable of finding a property that would completely satisfy their desires. We have exhausted our listings. I know that you have several properties in Norfolk, and even those close to major terminals outside of Norfolk. I also know that you like a challenge.

           Attached is the client file for your information. Names and personal information have, of course, been redacted. They will be readable upon your agreement to take these clients on. The clients have of course been notified about this possible course of action. Should you decline this case, I would be more than understanding.

 Well wishes to you and yours,

Olive Pinkflax

 -

 To: [email protected]

From: [email protected]

SUBJECT: Welcome to your experience at Lindquist Realtors!

RECEIVED: August 10th, 3042

 Dear Ms. Lam,

           Hello. My name is Qilar Lindquist. You and I have not had the pleasure of meeting, but I am sure that when we do, it will be wonderful. As you may know, my good friend Mx. Pinkflax conveyed to me their concerns that they didn’t have the property best suited to you in their register. However, with access to a larger company such as Lindquist Realtors, they hoped that you would have more success. If you are still obliging, I am more than happy to take you and your partners on as clients of Lindquist Realtors. It would be thrilling to find you the house you and your partners have been dreaming of. Please respond to this message as soon as you are capable, so that we may begin the process.

 Sincerely,

Qilar Lindquist

Lindquist Realtors

 -

 QILAR LINDQUIST

Senior Realtor

[email protected]

Phone  Lindquist Realtors Homepage

Alternative Display Options

             While not born and raised in Norfolk, Qilar Lindquist has been settled in this fine city for the past 20 years. A born werewolf, Qilar has always wanted to follow his parents’ footsteps. He succeeded as well, opening up a new branch of Lindquist Realtors in Norfolk at the tender age of 28. He studied business, architecture, and chemistry at the University of Des Moines. Intelligent, quick-witted, and charming, Qilar Lindquist is dedicated to serving his clients in any way he can. Outside of work, he is involved with the local community theater and can be found volunteering at various non-profit goodwill organizations around the city. His husband often joins him in these endeavors.  

 Back to Realtor Biographies Homepage

 -

 August 13th, 3042

Chat with Saint Akuapem

6:36 PM

Thank you for the scones the other day. Hepsa enjoyed them.

So did I.

How is house-hunting going?

6:59 PM

Sorry, still working that Thompson case.

Thanks for working with me on it.

And the house hunting’s not going so great.

7:12 PM

Of course. You’re bright. I like hearing your input.

Just not situated to be a public officer of the law.

What with your friend.

7:13 PM

I know.

7:13 PM

I’m sorry to hear it is not going as well as hoped.

Would you like to talk about it?

7:14 PM

The realtor company you recommended couldn’t find anything for us

So we’ve been transferred to another realtor.

7:15 PM

Nothing? Really?

What realtor?

7:15 PM

Yeah, nothing. Lindquist Realtors.

7:16 PM

Hepsa says they are good. You are in good hands.

7:16 PM

Yeah, we had our first house hunting today.

I’m just worried it’s going to go nowhere here as well.

7:18 PM

Sorry for saying but. I find that hard to believe.

You will find a house.

What are your specifications?

7:19 PM

Ummm 3 BR 2 BTH Defs LDK

450-600 SQM

Garden with like 100-200 SQM?

No Magitech if possible, no exdim subspaces at all

Security system gotta be customizable or not there at all

We can be a little picky with décor sometimes

And house gotta be sturdy

There’s probably something else

7:26 PM

I see.

That would be difficult.

Are you willing to compromise on anything?

7:27 PM

Price. I put down 350k but if it gets me the house I want

Then I’ll pay more.

7:27 PM

Understood.

Where are you staying now?

7:27 PM

Still in the apartment

Got the lease to finish

Hate it but until we have somewhere else

7:29 PM

…how is Bentley?

7:29 PM

He’s stressed.

With the house, and being here

He’s always having nightmares

So tired all the time

Insists on going to work though and I cant talk him out of it

I want to get a house for him

But I don’t want him to have to deal with all the shit he is in the apartment

He doesn’t see himself as important enough to take care of, sometimes

So I have to take that into account

7:32 PM

What exactly is going on, Torako?

How is Bentley not taking care of himself?

7:32 PM

Like, it’s not that I don’t understand where hes coming from

I get that I might be being a bit unreasonable

But he keeps saying ‘oh I can just DEAL with having an exdim subspace in the house’

‘never mind that it’s a huge trigger for all my trauma’

‘and that I sometimes cant stop looking at it just to make sure its still there and im still on the reality side of things’

‘ill just wear my magic-cancelling glasses all the time’

‘and be unable to sleep from the headache’

‘it’s not that big of a deal, torako, let’s have the magitech here that hurts to look at too much’

‘who cares, it’s just a fridge torako!! Not like it was used to TRANSPORT ME to a FOREIGN COUNTRY so that a MADMAN could CONDUCT EXPERIMENTS ON ME to the point that I almost took FATALLY DRASTIC ACTION’

He keeps saying he’ll just put up with his trauma like it’s a minor inconvenience!!

And he shouldn’t have to do that.

Not in a house that’s our own.

7:36 PM

Bentley was what now.

7:36 PM

Oh right

You didn’t know that part

7:36 PM

You went to get him.

7:36 PM

of course

I love him

7:36 PM

Therapy?

7:36 PM

Bentley? Yeah.

Hell of an NDA.

7:37 PM

No, you.

7:37 PM

She’s the only other person who knows everything.

Like, everything everything.

wait what?

7:37 PM

Torako.

I think you’re not doing as well as you think you are.

7:37 PM

Bentley was tortured

I wasnt

7:38 PM

I’ll believe you on that.

But you still devoted yourself to finding him.

And he was tortured, and you have to deal with the consequences of that too.

7:38 PM

???

7:39 PM

You sound stressed, Torako.

And scared.

7:39 PM

Maybe a little

But Bentleys more important rn

7:40 PM

I would say you’re both equally important.

Sorry, Torako, Hepsa is calling me; we’re going to a late night movie.

I’ll keep my eye out for you.

7:40 PM

OK

Thank you

I really appreciate it

 -

 Client Profile Update

DATE:8/15/42

CLIENT: Torako Lam +2 [Bentley Farkas, Tyrone Pines]

CLIENT ID: IMP64239

CLASSIFICATION: Buyer

CAUTION: PICKY, SPECIFIC, UNCOMPROMISING

SPECIFICATIONS: Listed below

…

LINDQUIST REALTORS PROPERTY RECORD:

SSA: Lindquist, ID 109A854D

…

…

NEW UPDATES 8/15/42

 HOUSE ID: 798A 209X

ADDRESS: 389 West Hampton Drive

SELLER: Mx. Adelaide Hanson

STATUS: DECLINED

NOTES: Unfortunately, despite attempts to the contrary, the clients were not impressed with the security system. We discussed it at length at Lindquist Realtors and felt it sufficient, but Client Lam insisted quite sternly that she needed to have full control over the system. RapierSolutions is a top of the line system. I tried to convey that to Client Lam, but she refused to hear sense. “I need to be able to alter it,” she said. “If I can’t alter it, it’s a no-go—especially with those weak windows and the shallow hinges on the entryways.” Mx. Pinkflax was not kidding around when they said Client Lam was a bit controlling over safety specifications. Possible paranoia?

 HOUSE ID: 665D 187L

ADDRESS: 9821 NW 4736 PL

SELLER: Mr. and Ms. Nakatani

STATUS: DECLINED, INACTIVE

NOTES: We combed the premises for subspaces personally. Nevertheless, Client Farkas quietly pointed out that there was a secret bunker hidden under the premises, and that it spanned the entire property. While he hastened to assure us that it wouldn’t be that much of an issue, Client Lam overheard and insisted that they wouldn’t buy any property with extradimensional subspaces. When Client Farkas attempted to tell his partner that they weren’t going to use that garden gate anyways, Client Lam shut him down. Client Pines also wandered over from where he was inspecting the brick wall of the garden, said “This place might be cursed,” and waved his partners cheerily off of the premises.

Upon notifying the authorities as required by law that there may or may not be a curse on the premises, the police shut down the premises. Any attempt to contact Mr. and Mrs. Nakatani beyond alerting them to the existence of the subspace has been unsuccessful.

UPDATE: the extradimensional basement is now the scene of a crime. 665D 187L is now under government jurisdiction.

 HOUSE ID: 278K 396V

ADDRESS: 421 Wildstar Avenue

SELLER: Mr. Fegelhorn and Mr. Gil

STATUS: DECLINED

NOTES: Client Lam, predictably, criticized the ‘astounding lack of security’ in the warding system, the ‘structural instability’ of a perfectly good cellar window, and the presence of a stasis fridge on the premises. Client Farkas was silent. Client Pines said that he ‘liked the staircase’ but that the upstairs bathroom tub was ‘too small for his preferences.’ Naturally, the clients declined the home.

 HOUSE ID: 525P 792S

ADDRESS: 98 Maplefarm S. Street

SELLER: Mrs. Polinski

STATUS: DECLINED, INACTIVE

NOTES: Surprisingly, it was not Client Lam or Client Farkas who had reason to decline the property. This is probably because Client Pines, five steps past the garden gate, hissed and bodily hauled his partners away from the grounds. When asked what the matter was, he snarled out in the most terrifying voice something about unquestionable evil and the screams of the undead. As required by Law, we have notified the authorities.

UPDATE: Property is now under police jurisdiction. Norfolk Government Demonologists and Exorcists evacuated the entire block for a full 48 hours. It seems Mrs. Polinski was being possessed by a terribly old demon, Hyutgen the Voracious and had been for an undetermined amount of time.

What is up with these Clients and finding horrific crime scenes?

-

August 15th, 3042

Chat with Handsome <3 <3 <3

5:28 PM

Darling, what’s up?

You seem to be staying late at the agency today

As of late, really.

Is it The Clients?

5:57 PM

I’m so sorry.

Yes, it is.

This is much more difficult than anticipated.

Olive called it a challenge and I was foolish enough to think I had it in the bag.

The Clients are insatiable.

There’s always something wrong with the properties. Always.

And they keep uncovering properties as crime scenes??

6:03 PM

I’m so sorry darling.

6:03 PM

I don’t know if I can do this anymore, Bayani.

I’m so tired.

I’ve shown them over 30 properties, personally.

6:04 PM

Do you want to talk it out?

I can get your favorite dinner together

We can curl up on the couch

Put on some Strandson

6:05 PM

You know what?

Yeah.

Yeah, that sounds nice.

I’ll be home in 10 minutes.

6:06 PM

See you soon <3

6:06 PM

<3 <3

 -

 To: [email protected]

From: [email protected]

SUBKECT: Realtor Change Notification

RECEIVED: August 16th, 3042

 Dear Ms. Lam,

           My apologies in advance for the contents of this email, though I hope it finds you well. Unfortunately, due to my position as head of company, I am unable to continue being your Realtor. I have transferred you to the care of one of my very capable senior agents. Mx. Ya-en. I hope that you understand, and that Mx. Ya-en can see to your needs better than I have.

 Sincerely,

Qilar Lindquist

Lindquist Realtors

 -

 HARLEY YA-EN

Senior Realtor

[email protected]

Phone  Lindquist Realtors Homepage

Alternative Display Options

             Harley Ya-en, despite xir elderly age of 84, is one of Lindquist Realtor’s most capable senior Realtors. A psychic who can read auras, Harley Ya-en is capable of anticipating the client’s needs and emotions. This allows Mx. Ya-en practical insight into which properties will suit a buying client’s needs. Xe also has a wealth of knowledge regarding the Norfolk area due to living here for the past 50 years, and is a font of trivia sure to satisfy the most curious of souls. Xe lives with xir husband and wife, and enjoys taking road trips—

 -

 To: [email protected]

From: [email protected]

SUBJECT: LOL NO

RECEIVED: August 17th, 3042

 Qilar,

           Holy fucking shit you do not pay me enough for this. You have to transfer them. I cannot work with these clients.

Sincerely,

Harley

 -

 To: [email protected]

From: [email protected]

SUBJECT: RE: LOL NO

RECEIVED: August 17th, 3042

 Harley,

           What happened?? What did they do??

 Qilar

 -

 To: [email protected]

From: [email protected]

SUBJECT: RE: LOL NO

RECEIVED: August 17th, 3042

 Qilar,

           They didn’t do anything in particular. They’re just impossible clients—I’m thinking it’s not even their fault, entirely—and I have read their file. Even with that, I was hesitantly down for the challenge until I saw their auras and interacted with them today. I am Not Doing It. I am too old for this. Give me another assignment.

 Sincerely,

Harley

 -

 To: [email protected]

From: [email protected]

SUBJECT: RE: LOL NO

RECEIVED: August 17th, 3042

 Harley,

           I’m sorry, I need more explanation than this to take you off immediately. I handled a week. So can you. You can’t use your age as an excuse all the time.

 Qilar

 -

 To: [email protected]

From: [email protected]

SUBJECT: RE: LOL NO

RECEIVED: August 17th, 3042

 Qilar,

           Fine: here it is.

           I only got the two Clients. Client Pines was, as they said, out on important business, who knows when he’ll be back. Something was fishy about that but okay, I won’t pry, and these two are setting me off on edge a little as is so maybe it’s just that.

           Then the more I interact with them, the more I realize that Client Farkas’s aura is just fucking weird. Bananapants, CocoNutPuffs, whatever you want to call it. It’s all muddled and patchy and a headache and a half to read. It’s like somebody took his aura, threw out most of it, and stuffed a bunch of excess aura in to fill the gaps. There’s no way he was born like that, and there’s no way whatever happened was pretty (or probably even painless). He’s definitely trying, though, so I figured aight, we’ll see if we can’t compromise with this whippersnapper.

           The problem is Client Lam.

           Client Lam doesn’t want to be pleased. Client Lam, for whatever reason, is terrified. And overprotective of Client Farkas. And she’s absolutely looking for reasons to be disappointed, or she’s at least seeing shadows where there are none. We could present Client Lam with a fortress and she wouldn’t be satisfied. My bet is that whatever happened to Farkas’s aura was traumatizing, and Lam was impacted by that trauma. I showed her two viable properties at excellent prices with wonderful locations and an astounding lack of extradimensional pockets or Magitech gadgets, and she found fault with them. Neither were crime scenes, thankfully.

           You may want to assign them with somebody who has experience—but you could also use this opportunity to show some junior realtors how tough clients can be. Also, the junior realtors might not be so entrenched in the practice, and they could have some excellent ideas.

           Or you could just…send these clients to somebody else. Your choice. I’m just not dealing with it. They’ll drive me into an early grave if I take this too seriously, and you know how I get.

 Sincerely,

Harley

 -

 To: [email protected]

From: [email protected]

SUBJECT: Realtor Change Notification

RECEIVED: August 18th, 3042

 Dear Ms. Lam,

           Hello! What a pleasure it is to meet you. I’m writing to inform you that unfortunately, Mx. Ya-en is unable to continue handling your case. The upside is that I am able to do so in xir stead! My name is Amar Shirvani, and I’m going to be handling your case from now on. I’m excited to work with you and your partners, and hope that you are as excited to work with me! I promise I will do my best to help you achieve your housing dreams!

 Yours,

Amar Shirvani

Lindquist Realtors

 -

 AMAR SHIRVANI

Junior Realtor

[email protected]

Phone  Lindquist Realtors Homepage

Alternative Display Options

             Native to Norfolk, Amar Shirvani is the youngest member of Lindquist Realtors at 22 years old. He recently graduated from the Offet University of Business with honors. While not the most experienced, Amar brings exuberance and creative thinking to the team at Lindquist Realtors. He has been involved with volunteer work from early childhood due to his parents—

 -

 TweetyFlaps Trending

#clientwoes

 world aint gonna end til I end it myself

@Silverforks

So I’ve got a kind of sort of customer service job, right. And so far it’s been fine! I’ve had ok clients. And then Bossman slides me a paunchy one cross the table and I start to understand #clientwoes for the first awful real time. 1/ 10:48 AM        23 AUG 3042

______________________________________________________________________

 world aint gonna end til I end it myself                            

Replying to @Silverforks

2/ i know from the start its gonna be a Ride. Like, chalk and candles intensity. Client file is thicc w/rejected properties (im in housing). But I’m game!! Im always game, you know me haha. Unfortunately… 10:50 AM        23 AUG 3042

 world aint gonna end til I end it myself                            

Replying to @Silverforks

3/ these are clients from hell. I wouldn’t be surprised if they were actually demons in disguise. Here to torture me. For something. I aint actually ever summoned nothing. But like, it’s unreal how BAD this exp has been. 10:51 AM        23 AUG 3042

 world aint gonna end til I end it myself                            

Replying to @Silverforks

4/ for 1, they all look normal expt one of them. Head to toe, covered. Would think was vampire, but that’s usu specified in reports. Nobody’s seen his skin other than flashes. Aight, tho, I aint prejudiced, i’ll roll with it. 10:53 AM        23 AUG 3042

 world aint gonna end til I end it myself                            

Replying to @Silverforks

5/ so they super picky clients, right. I thought nah, they cant be that bad!! Just haven’t hooked the right worm yet. So I pick out a coupla worms (houses) that I think they might enjoy and hoo boy was that a chore, but im satisfied! Spoiler: they aint. 10:56 AM        23 AUG 3042

 world aint gonna end til I end it myself                            

Replying to @Silverforks

6/ they aint never gon be satisfied. #1, not-vampire client mentions v v quietly to me that sorry, theres a thing he cant deal with on premises, but mb they can still keep it in mind?? But (super good hearing???) another client hears and squawks about it. he aint having it, apparently.   10:58 AM        23 AUG 3042

 world aint gonna end til I end it myself                            

Replying to @Silverforks

7/ and then third client (Harpy) hears bc squawk, and she SUPER aint having it, so we just go to the next house. And the next one. And—u get it already.   10:59 AM        23 AUG 3042

 world aint gonna end til I end it myself                            

Replying to @Silverforks

8/ and like, im patient. Im pretty lowkey. But today’s house was—perfect?? There was nothing wrong with it. Client Hoodie didn’t say nothing bad. Liked the rooms. Client EllieEars don’t complain bout no weird curses or dead bodies or bad décor. But Client Harpy?? Client Harpy is impossible. 11:02 AM        23 AUG 3042

 world aint gonna end til I end it myself                            

Replying to @Silverforks

9/ u kno what she said?? She said, and I repeat: the front door is too thin.

The front door. Which is a solid 5 cm of wood (real!! Wood!!). is too thin. It’s “Insecure”. 11:03 AM        23 AUG 3042

 world aint gonna end til I end it myself                            

Replying to @Silverforks

10/11 I didn’t say it bc im a good worker, but I really wanted to go off on her. She’s impossible. This is the worst assignment ever. Ive worked so hard my soul’s gonna feel it 5 carnations down.   11:05 AM        23 AUG 3042

 world aint gonna end til I end it myself                            

Replying to @Silverforks

11/11 srsly. 5 cm of solid wood!! Insecure. Unbelievable. #clientwoes 11:05 AM        23 AUG 3042

 -

 August 23rd  

Bentley

Sally Mihn at work sent me this.

You might want to take a look.

https://tweetyflap.com/silverforks/status/1199679934986810752

 DipTipTyrone

oh boy

that’s about us alright

 Bentley

Yeah

It is

Torako

We need to have a fucking talk

 KoraTorako

We do need to have a talk with the realtors

That’s unacceptable

 Bentley

What we need to do with the realtors is apologize

What we three need to do is discuss what the fuck we’re doing

 KoraTorako

No, that was completely unprofessional

And what do you mean, what are we doing?? We’re looking for a house.

 DipTipTyrone

I’ll take care of the tweets for a pack of gummies

 Bentley

No, Dipper

Torako

We have been house-hunting for a month

We have looked at over 200 houses by this point

 KoraTorako

Thanks dip but probs not

 Bentley

And you have said no

To all

Of them

We need to fucking compromise

 KoraTorako

Compromise on what?? Our safety?? Our comfort?

 Bentley

No, on your unachievable standards

 DipTipTyrone

Oh

Oh no

 KoraTorako

Who says they unachievable??

 Bentley

The 200+ houses we’ve looked at to dismiss out of hand!

 DipTipTyrone

This is a fight, isn’t it

 KoraTorako

I’m just making sure that whatever we get will be safe!

 Bentley

Most of them HAVE been safe!

You’re just being STUPIDLY overprotective!

 DipTipTyrone

oh no im the

im the middle party aren’t i

 KoraTorako

I am not!

 Bentley

Yes you are! You need to trust me to make choices for myself!!

 KoraTorako

Well, I would if you weren’t so insistent on ignoring your own wellbeing!

 DipTipTyrone

How does one mediate

 Bentley

I’m just trying to find a fucking house! I’m trying to meet them in the middle!

 KoraTorako

Not on that you shouldn’t!

 Bentley

It’s MY choice!

 KoraTorako

And it’s MINE TOO!

You shouldn’t be in an environment that causes you to have so many fucking nightmares!

Like you are NOW

 DipTipTyrone

Uuuhhh shit shit shit um

You’re both right and both wrong?

 Bentley

Love you, but Shut up dip

And maybe I’m having nightmares because we’re still in this fucking apartment

 KoraTorako

I told you we could stay at another Rental until we found a house!

And shut up dip, im the right one here

 Bentley

You’re the right one???

We can’t solve everything with money, Torako!! And at the pace we’re going, we’d be in that rental place until our current lease is up Next January

 DipTipTyrone

…maybe this is an in-person convo?

 KoraTorako

I just want our house to be safe!! What if something happens again?

 Bentley

It won’t fucking happen again! Fantino was a one-off. I haven’t pissed off any other researchers overly invested in their research lately!

 DipTipTyrone

What about that one guy at work?

Wait no ignore that

 KoraTorako

But it MIGHT! We! Don’t! Know for sure!!

 Bentley

We don’t know that it WILL happen, Torako!

You need to just let this stupid fucking paranoia go

 DipTipTyrone

Uh

 KoraTorako

Stupid?? Fucking paranoia??

 DipTipTyrone

Bentley that was not uh

Not good

 KoraTorako

It’s not paranoia if it could happen again. It happened once.

I can’t forget that, Bentley. I can’t forget going to open that door and finding it unlocked. I can’t forget opening the apartment to you being gone, and to the wards being destroyed, and to everything I thought was keeping us safe not actually keeping us safe.

I’m not doing that, Ben.

The house we’re getting?? Is going to be fucking safe, and I am going to make it that way.

 DipTipTyrone

Torako…

 Bentley

Look, I get that

But there were ways of making the houses we looked at safe that you weren’t willing to entertain.

That one, with the green roof and the cute staircase?? That was totally viable. We absolutely could have torn the security system out with no trouble.

We literally have Dipper to do that for us.

But you said no! Like you said no to the one with the nice garden, and the one with the really big open windows.

I just want a house, Torako.

It’s not even like we’re necessarily going to live here forever? So if it’s not perfect, I’m ok. I just want somewhere to live that’s not the apartment.

 KoraTorako

And I just want us to be safe, Bentley.

I cant do this right now.

I have to go.

 DipTipTyrone

Is it over?

…fuck it isn’t, is it.

Fuck.

 -

To: [email protected]

From: [email protected]

SUBJECT: Important

RECEIVED: August 23rd 3042

 Dear Mr. Lindquist,

           Hello. I’m writing to inform you that one of your employees—I’m assuming our current agent, Mr. Amar Shirvani—vented about my partners and I on a public forum. Here is the link: https://tweetyflap.com/silverforks/status/1199679934986810752

           While I understand that we have not been very accommodating clients—myself particularly—I don’t believe that this appropriate behavior. Venting is important, but the place where Mr. Shirvani chose to express his frustrations wasn’t the right one. Please convey this to him for me.

           I don’t want him to lose his job. He’s young and hasn’t learned this particular lesson yet. But I also find myself hesitant to keep working with Mr. Shirvani. Would you be willing to either transfer us to another realtor, or recommend us to another company like Mx. Pinkflax did? I would really appreciate it.

 Sincerely,

Torako Lam

Private Investigator

.

-

 To: [email protected]

From: [email protected]

SUBJECT: RE: Important

RECEIVED: August 24th 3042

 Dear Ms. Lam,

           I’m very sorry to hear about what Mr. Shirvani did. We’ve discussed the incident and he understands the impropriety of his actions. Thank you for bringing this to my attention.

           While I believe that we have exhausted our properties here at Lindquist Realtors, I am happy to recommend you to a few other businesses in the Norfolk Area. They’re smaller, but perhaps they have the specific kind of property that you are looking for. I will do my best to put in a good word for you. Should that fail, I will personally endeavor to find you the house you need.

 Sincerely,

Qilar Lindquist

Lindquist Realtors

 -

 August 24th

Chat with Reynash Pines

11:01 AM

Hey Reynash

Can I ask you a question?

11:02 AM

What a surprise to hear from you via text!

Usually you just pop in and scare my soul out of my chest.

But for your question-- please ask

There’s nothing to do at work at the moment.

11:02 AM

Wouldn’t you usually leave?

Or have things changed again without me realizing it?

11:03 AM

Oh no, normally I would

But I have an appointment at 11:45 that I have to stick around for.

What’s your question?

11:04 AM

Torako and Bentley are fighting over housing.

We’ve told you about the house-hunting, right?

11:04 AM

Oh dear. Yes, I know.

Why are they fighting?

11:05 AM

Trauma. I think. They didn’t say themselves.

But I think it’s trauma.

Anyways, that’s not the important part.

What’s important is how do I help them?

11:06 AM

From the incident back around May?

Oh dear.

Are you sure that’s not the important part?

11:06 AM

Mostly.

Anyway. I just need to know how to mediate.

I haven’t mediated in…

In forever?

I can’t remember.

11:07 AM

…why are you even asking me?

11:07 AM

Because not many people know me as me

And you’re one of the only people who has known me as me for a significant amount of time and are also NOT ben or tora

And also you’re pretty calm mostly except when I show up and scare you

11:09 AM

Well

In my defense, I think most people would be scared if you showed up out of thin air and yelled strange things like WHAT YOU CRAVIN or whatever.

11:10 AM

Are you…sassy?

11:10 AM

Possibly

Back to your predicament: mediating

Have Bentley and Torako been able to talk to each other in person about this?

11:11 AM

No :(

They’ve been very quiet around each other at home.

And Bentley’s going on a trip soon.

So they won’t have a chance for a while.

Do they have to??

11:12 AM

It’s just easier to mediate when you’re all there.

Basically

They have to have the conversation, right?

Your job as mediator is to make sure they stay on task

And that no thoughtlessly cruel words are said.

11:12 AM

So they can say mean things

But they can’t mean the mean things?

11:13 AM

Okay, let me rephrase:

They’re mad at each other. They might say mean things that just hurt each other. Words that are meant to hurt each other.

They should not do that.

That does not help the conversation.

11:13 AM

Oh

Hm

So if one says the other is being stupidly paranoid

That’s where I say no, stop?

11:13 AM

Right.

11:14 AM

And if the other says one is being needlessly reckless with his own mental health

That’s where I say no, stop?

11:14 AM

Er

Maybe not, depending

Is he being needlessly reckless with his own mental health?

11:14 AM

I don’t know? Maybe? How do I tell?

11:15 AM

I can’t believe I’m saying this but

We might need to have this conversation face to face.

Please come he0-awekjhwel

11:39 AM

And remember what we discussed

And the pamphlets I sent you

And also please remind Torako and Bentley that Lata would like to see them sometime next month if they’re able to.

11:39 AM

Thanks Ray!

I really appreciate everything

Sorry for making you scream!

 -

 To: [email protected]

From: [email protected]

SUBJECT: RE: Professional Request

RECEIVED: August 25th, 3042

 Dear Qilar Lindquist

           Thank you very much for the request. I’m honored that you would consider sending us clients that you yourself could not satisfy. It honestly instills an incredible, renewed sense of capability in us here at Khoohoo Realtors.

           Upon viewing the file you sent, however, one of my junior realtors raised concerns that these particular clients may be too difficult for a firm of our moderate size to adequately deal with. Between yourselves and HomeStar Realtors, these three clients weren’t satisfied. That, to us, is a bit of a red flag. We reviewed their specifications in comparison to our own catalogue, but don’t believe we have anything that they would be interested in actually buying. Therefore, in the interest of saving everybody a great deal of time and energy, I must admit that we cannot at this time take on your clients.

 Have an excellent day,

Simon Khoo

Head of Khoohoo Realtors

 -

 To: [email protected]

From: [email protected]

SUBJECT: RE: Professional Request

RECEIVED: August 25th, 3042

 Dear Qilar Lindquist

             Thank you very much for this request.

           Unfortunately, we don’t have the time or patience for clients that would require a great deal of energy. From the looks of the file you attached, that seems to be the case with these clients. Therefore, in short, no.

 Yours,

Lance Fraiser

Senior Realtor

DreamHome Realtors

 -

 To: [email protected]

From: [email protected]

Attachment: 2042-PoliceRecoverKidnappedManwithHelpFromCivillian.qbf

SUBJECT: RE: Professional Request

RECEIVED: August 27th, 3042

 Qilar,

           Long time no talk, friend!! Wow it’s been a while, I guess we’ve both been busy. I know this is a professional request and all, but we should get drinks or something!! I hear there’s a great alfree bar that’s just opened up downtown. Apparently it has killer drinks, and it of course it doesn’t have alcoholic stuff so you’re good to drink whatever.

           I took a look at the client rec you sent me, and hoo boy they’ve sure got a record! RedFin usually takes whatever, and you know that, but I don’t actually think we can get them anything?? I’d feel bad chucking properties at them that I know they won’t like. I think they’ve already checked out like three quarters of Norfolk lol. Talk about trying to summon with a broom and a lighter!

           Also, they really remind me of this one tweety I read recently? Oof, if that was one of your kiddos who posted it, you should really tell them that’s a bad call—both for them and the clients. These clients aren’t going to get anything in Norfolk, not with that popular tweety paired with that record. And if it gets out that your kiddo was the one that posted that??? Aint nobody gonna hire them, not with all this client confidentiality and all at stake. Gotta be careful what you post online, even when it is venting.

           Yo, but hey, hope you find somebody for these clients! They seem like they got some scary baggage. The one who nopes around magitec and exdims reminds me of something I read in the news a while ago—it was an article that was hushed down p quickly out of respect for the victim, but I still got the doc. I’ve attached it if you want to read! It might even help you figure stuff out with your clients, even if they aren’t the same.

 Let’s meet up for drinks sometime!

Naita Fellen

Owner of RedFin Realtors, Norfolk

Senior Realtor

 -

 August 27th

KoraTorako

I just received an email from Qilar that he’s going to continue to handle our case, but that it may take a while to comb through what properties they have left.

I said it was fine because Bentley’s off on a trip.

 DipTipTyrone

Great!!

This seems like a good time to have a heart to heart, don’t you think?

 KoraTorako

I, uh, what?

 DipTipTyrone

Bentley’s doing nothing right now! Bentley, talk

Bentley, talk or I’ll make you talk.

Bentley I know you’re at your hotel.

 Bentley

Oh my stars dip

What??

 DipTipTyrone

You guys argued a lot last time we really had a discussion

And you’re angry

And you need to talk about why you’re angry

So that you have a healthy conclusion to your argument

And so that you understand each other’s viewpoints better.

It’s important!

 KoraTorako

But why…now?

 DipTipTyrone

Because you sent that message

And I’m sure Bentley’s feeling vicious about it

 Bentley

No I’m not!

 DipTipTyrone

Yes you are

I can see your aura, and while it’s difficult to read, you’re very dlskajlkwjelkjewnsd;nlab

Aslkdjgwaelkl;kwa;ljk

Dlkjaw-000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000

 KoraTorako

What the fuck

 DipTipTyrone

You can’t take my phone away from me!! Ha! I win!

 Bentley

You can’t just half slide through the wall so that I can’t tell you’ve blipped in!

What the hell??

 KoraTorako

Okay okay so youre serious about this

Fine

What do you want us to talk about

 DipTipTyrone

Your feelings, I guess?

Like, Bentley. Tell us how you feel about Torako’s latest message.

 Bentley

You’re not my therapist

 DipTipTyrone

No, but we’re family

Which means communication

So tell us.

 Bentley

Uuuuuggghhh

Fine

Torako, that email proves why it was stupid to just dismiss all the properties as soon as we saw them and I feel vindicated but also tired

 DipTipTyrone

Hey, um, you gotta cut all the negativity against the other person out of your message

Try again!

 Bentley

…

The email proves that it was wrong to dismiss the properties without really thinking further about them. I feel vindicated. I feel tired.

Happy?

 DipTipTyrone

Better!

Torako, your turn!

 KoraTorako

Oh my stars are we really doing this

This is so stupid

 DipTipTyrone

Do it

 Bentley

Yeah tora, do it

If I have to, so do you

 KoraTorako

Fine

I’m just tired, ok?? This has taken so much longer than I thought it would. And I know I’m at fault for some of it!!

But I’m sick of Bentley falling to the pressure of ‘picking’ because it’s what’s expected of us. I don’t want him to feel scared or uncertain or uncomfortable in whatever house we pick, even if we’re only there for a couple years until we can pay off the place.

 DipTipTyrone

Thank you Torako! I don’t see any unnecessarily hostile language in there, so that’s A-OK, you pass. Bentley?

 Bentley

I just feel bad because everybody’s trying so hard

And we’re being so hard on them

And sometimes I just don’t understand why you reject the houses? So what that the security system isn’t perfect. I don’t mind going to the effort of pulling it out and starting it again. Heck, I would pay Dip to do it easy!

 KoraTorako

But that’s not your problem

That’s a me problem

I just…I want it to be good from the beginning. I want it to work from the start so that we don’t have to worry about it.

 Bentley

But that’s not going to happen

Sometimes you have to work to make something work for you

And if we gotta do that

I’m fine with it

 KoraTorako

I…I guess

I’m still not completely comfortable with that

 Bentley

We can work on it together

And hey

If I promise to not say yes to houses that make me uncomfortable will you promise to give things like security systems and house integrity a chance?

Like, not dismiss them immediately?

 KoraTorako

…yeah. I can do that, I think.

 DipTipTyrone

Good!! I’m glad we had this discussion

You know, I’m a pretty great mediator!

 Bentley

Dipper I watched you leaf through those pamphlets during the discussion

But yeah

Thank you, dipper

 KoraTorako

Thank you, dipper <3

 Bentley

He’s blushing!!

Compliment him more

 DipTipTyrone

No!

Stop ganging up on me!

 KoraTorako

You’re so cute, Dips!!

 Bentley

The cutest

Aw, he’s glowing

 DipTipTyrone

I should have let you keep fighting

 -

 August 29th, 3042

Chat with Saint Akuapem

4:12 PM

Torako, how are you?

Hepsa says hello

Are you still looking for houses?

4:15 PM

Yeah, we are

Say hello back for me

I’m ok, but a bit tired.

4:15 PM

Excellent

A parent of one of Hepsa’s students mentioned that their mother passed away recently

And that they were willing to sell the property

It seems the mother was afflicted with a curse that prevented her from using most Magitech

And she didn’t trust extra-dimensional spaces

It was a family home, so there are 4 bedrooms, 2 bathrooms, a nice garden.

Would you be interested in looking at it?

4:17 PM

Are you fucking serious.

Yes please, a thousand times yes

When can we look?

4:18 PM

Let me ask Hepsa to ask for me.

4:49 PM

Would you be available tomorrow afternoon?

3:30 PM.

 4:51 PM

Oh gosh oh yes

What’s the address?

4:51 PM

Just meet me at our apartment.

We will walk you over.

4:51 PM

Officer you really are a saint

I could kiss you

4:52 PM

Bring some more of those brownies. It’ll be even then.

 -

 “So? What do you think?”

           Torako trailed her fingers across the mantle for the fireplace. It was a real one; apparently, pure electric fireplaces were hell to install and more hell to maintain. There were no runes carved into the rough brick, no faint thrum of magic that Torako could now pick up if she closed her eyes and concentrated really, really hard.

           The whole house had very little by the way of magic.

           “It’s…” Torako looked down at the fireplace proper. It had been cleaned, recently, shiny in the way that old things gleam when properly taken care of. The house had been loved, she was sure of it. “It’s not bad.”

           A touch to her elbow. She looked over at Bentley, whose eyebrows were quirked. “Torako. Please. Be honest.”

           She hummed, turned to lean against the mantle and look out the big windows that provided a view of the garden space. Unmaintained, a little wild. They could put a vegetable patch there, she thought. Maybe a couple fruit trees.

           “I’m not a fan of the front porch steps,” she said, “or the ramp. It’s a bit rickety.”

           “We can fix it up,” Bentley said. He paused, tilted his head, then gave her a sly little grin. “Or at least, we know somebody who works cheap for that kind of thing.”

           “Hey, you can’t let me hear that,” Dipper said from the other room, where he was laying flat on the ground with his ear to the floorboards. “My prices might go up.”

           “Is it all good over there?” Bentley asked in lieu of answering. Torako looked up at the ceiling, where runes or wards or protective magics would be. Magics that would be hers, so they would hurt less to Bentley’s sensitive eye.

           “No creepy basements filled with cadavers or slaughtered cultmembers, if that’s what you’re asking,” Dipper said. Thankfully, Illya had left them to look over her dead mother’s home one last time, so there were no surprised gasps or queer glances. “Though we may want a couple rugs. I think this floor gets cold in the wintertime.”

           “Windowpanes are a little thin,” she muttered to herself. Her fingers tapped against her leg. “Could stand to be a bit more reinforced—though the French doors are probably okay, they seem sturdy enough—”

           “Torako.”

           Bentley’s warm hand slid over the one on her leg. Torako looked at him again. He peered at her over the rims of his oversized sunglasses, golden eye shimmering just a little. “Is there anything seriously wrong with this place? Anything that can’t be fixed?”

           Torako pressed her lips together. The aching anxiety in her chest pressed against her sternum. She tried to ignore it, and the thoughts of shadowy figures cutting through the glass panes, burning through the front door, squeezing through the cracks in the floorboards to steal Bentley away from—

           “Hey,” Bentley said, soft.

           “Hey,” Dipper said, a little brighter and brasher. He took her hand in his human hand. “We’re here, okay?”

           Torako turned her head to Dipper, brown eyes crinkled at the edges (and when had he put wrinkles on?) and grin still just a little too wide for human mouths to stand. She took a deep breath, and exhaled.

           “No,” she said. Bentley inhaled, sharp. “No, not no no! I just meant, ugh, there’s nothing I don’t like about this house that can’t be fixed. That no. Not the ‘let’s not do this’ no.”

           Both of her boys relaxed on either side of her. “Yeah,” Bentley said. “Yeah, I thought this was a good one, too.”

           She twisted her hand in theirs so that she could hold them.

           “Plus, it’s like, dirt cheap,” Dipper said. “Who knew that buying a house without a Realtor handling fee would result in such a bargain?”

           “Okay,” Torako said, a grin starting to pull at the corners of her mouth. The sunlight from the window was warm against her feet, reaching up to soothe the phantom pains in her shins from all those months ago. “Let’s tell Ilya.”

           It would be a good home.

 -

To: [email protected]

From: [email protected]

SUBJECT: FWD: Thank you for your help

RECEIVED: August 31st, 3042

I don’t know whether to be furious or relieved. Mostly I’m just tired.

You up for dinner tonight?

Qilar

 >>To: [email protected]

>>From: [email protected]

>>Attached: NewHouse+US.png

>>SUBJECT: Thank you for your help

>>RECEIVED: August 31st, 3042

>> 

>>Dear Mr. Lindquist,

           >> I email you to thank you so much for all your assistance. I don’t think we would have gotten as far as we did without you. Due to this journey, my partners and I realized some very important things.

           >>As you might have realized based on the name of the attachment, my partners and I have found a house through one of our acquaintances! It was lovely and off-market, and I probably wouldn’t have said no if it weren’t for our experiences with everybody at Lindquist Realtors and HomeStar Realtors. Thank you so much for your time and effort and energy, and I hope that you have a chance to relax now that we’re out of your hair.

>> 

>>Thank you again,

>>Torako Lam

>>Private Investigator

 -

 From: [email protected]

To: [email protected]

 Qilar,

           What the fuck, even. Truly. What the fuck.

           I’ll bring the sparkling apple cider.

Olive

#transcendence au #tau fic #my fic #bentley #dipper #torako

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Still, there’s a remedy for everything right now! Customers depend too much on these  drugs or drops for medical attention and pain relief to alleviate discomfort. Since clinical  trials and even reviews of these medicines are heavily skewed by major drug firms, it is  impossible to completely accept prescription medications because of unexpected  adverse effects.  

The good news is that Claude Davis, author of The Lost Book of Herbal Remedies,  using detailed research and with the aid of his late grandfather, who was one of the  greatest natural healers in America, created the most detailed book on natural  remedies. In this book, he explores valuable cures that have been lost to history. He  takes it back from endless travels all over the United States of America.  

The book explores several natural cures in depth that are not only effective at curing  current health & wellness problems but also at avoiding potential illnesses in your life.  Unlike modern medical science, which first examines problems before diagnosing a  patient, The Lost Book of Therapies addresses the root cause of the issue and  emphasizes the innate capacity of the body to heal itself, provided the right ingredients  are supplied.  

Components of the Lost Book of Herbal Remedies 

Let’s peek at the contents of this book of remedies. Think about this book as your major  library about treatments for different diseases.  

Plant health benefits : This series takes a detailed approach in describing the health benefits accruing to a plant when correctly handled. You’ll learn here exactly how to use can herbs to enhance different aspects of your life.  There is so much detail here, actually from herbs that can enhance your  food’s flavor, practical means to detoxify the body, and antidotes to certain  poisons, mostly from plants only. 

 Processing different treatments : When it comes to preparing treatments, the Lost Book of Herbal Remedies can never let you slip. As per plant remedies, you’ll discover everything you’ll ever need. We know that when  certain plants are dried, others have to be fried to realize their efficacy.  There is no question that this book will lead you through this storm  unbreakable.   

 Various plant species : You would agree with me this book has a thousand and one valuable species of plants that the normal individual doesn’t know but has access to. There is just so much information in this volume that it  would improve man’s general well-being if used even by 20 percent.

 Tips to keep you healthy include treatments to avoid respiratory issues such as allergies, sneezing, chronic cold, gasping, etc.

 Plant Edibility : This book carefully distinguished the invasive plants from the nutritious ones. It will instruct you on which products to eat safely while in the forests. Cattails, for example, are not nutritious grasses but very  successful treatment for serious infections of the skin.  

 The basic purpose of a plant part : As we can see, all plant parts are not medicinal or edible. Really this book opens the ordinary mind to this. That means you become very cautious when handling some areas of the farm.  For example, while the cattails plant’s roots and stems are edible, the  foliage’s jelly-like material is not edible. When consumed, they have a  numbing influence upon us.  

 Administration path : the path of delivering any remedy is essential as it can influence the efficacy, initiation of effect, and usefulness of that remedy.

 Click to Visit Official Website: 

How to use the medical program 

The Lost Book of therapies is for everyone who wants a safe means of ensuring that  their wellbeing is not failing. It is a book about those who appreciate the unique rewards  they reap without any side effects as far as their health is concerned. Parents of  children, elderly caregiving people would all benefit too much from this. 

Patients of aids, individuals of tumors in different degrees will definitely benefit from this  book since some of these illnesses are proven to heal. In a flick of fingers, you’ll find  what you’re looking for with good use.  

Safety and Reliability 

This book is 100 percent fit without taking it personally. All the remedies found in this  book are generated 100 percent from nature. These treatments were checked and  handled with confidence. Also, clinical trials were performed and non-emerged with a  poor outcome. Customer reports likewise speak for themselves.  

Perhaps notably, it was composed of a Nature Expert. A person who has witnessed the  sensation of this book by nature and not simply understands.  

Pricing and purchase 

The lost herbal remedies edition is offered on both Amazon and the official website. It  comes with a 60-day redemption cycle and a full money-back guarantee if you are not  happy. There’ll be no need for that, though. Order the lost book of herbal remedies and  win a package of two classics worth $29 each for free for more awareness on medicinal  plants.  

Bonuses 

The benefit of two special presents soon to be off the market as you purchases The  Lost Book of Herbal Remedies:  

The Medicinal Garden, 72 Square-Feet

You’re going to learn how to make an enhanced garden bed with the most powerful  plant extracts you have and how to grow and reap. 

You can have the supplies within reach for our grandfather’s treatments, so your herbal  garden with any typical pharmacy will provide a standpoint.  

Disaster Medicine: When Aid is NOT on the Way

Throughout this feature, you can discover the 20 most dangerous illnesses and  diseases throughout a crisis and practice how to assess and manage them.  

The Lost Book of Herbal Remedies Reviews – Final Verdict 

The Lost Book of Herbal Remedies is the ideal guide perhaps to herbal remedies. It  does not only give you the directions to mix and match natural remedies, however.  Instead, through the whole process, it allows you to recognize the herbs in the wild,  where they can be kept, how to cultivate them in your own backyard, how to pick them  correctly to preserve optimum healing uses, what sorts of things each plant can be used  for, how to combine them into a herbal treatment – the list continues. Using the soil’s  healing properties to cure anything of cuts to pain, infections, disorders, scrapes,  wounds, health problems, and more is the perfect method.  

And it’s not just an organic cure application, because it’s too comprehensive; it’s a  survival guide. Provided you have The Lost Book of Cures, everywhere you go, you can  handle anything that falls your way, even if it’s a spider bite while hiking or a stomach  virus when overseas; a heart disease that aggravates diabetes, you name that too. The  product can make you learn whatever it is (there’s sure to be), you can get it through  this course.  

The Lost Book of Cures is one of many things you’d rather you haven’t passed up in the  future since a moment will always emerge where you prefer you knew what and where  you’ve got.  

Click to Visit Official Website:

[dlamp-dictator]

You know, I wanted to talk about the fun parts of the latest Arknights event, like how Texas and Waii Fu got into a fist fight in the streets of Lungmen. I wanted to start a small essay about how Granbelm’s Anna Fugo was a great and interesting villain and how Granbelm as a who was a pretty good mecha anime. I wanted to talk about how awfully predatory AFK Arena’s gacha system is.

But before all that, I think it’s high time I actually lived up the “X” part of Allen X.

So, I hate talk about current events, namely because they heavily date my posts. As such I usually save them for my end-of-the-year pieces that are dated by design. However, I don’t think I can quietly watch a lot of what’s going on in my country without at least addressing its existence.To be silent is to be compliant after all. I’ll try and keep this as brief as I can, but no promises. 

But like most of my Ramblings, some background.

As of me writing this, the date is May 31st, 2020. For those unaware, a George  Floyd has been killed by a police officer via strangulation a while back. As sad as it is for me to say, this is honestly nothing new in America. Racial discrimination and prejudice by law enforcement is, frankly, older than this country. However, this seems to have been the tipping point, as several states and larger cities have erupted into mass protest. For most of my research and feed searching, the protest have been mostly peaceful, and a lot of the violence has seemed to be done by White Nationalist groups like the Proud Boys and the KKK in an attempt to smear the peaceful protests, even by a few police officers.

My small town is as quiet as ever, but the world around me has exploded.

I’m usually seen as a quiet and thoughtful person for the most part in real life. I think only a handful of my friends actually know my temper can get razor thin in times of stress, and this has been a pretty stressful time for me. So... I’ll break this down as thoroughly as I can. I’ll try and stay calm and professional as I usually am in most of my ramblings, but I can’t make promises on that.

But let’s get to the first point.

Things are Scary

Something I was going to save for a future Art/Writing rambling, but I don’t think enough people have been admitting that things are very scary right now. In the same vein that I don’t think enough people admit art and writing is hard, I don’t think enough people, enough people with actual pull to their words, are admitting that, yes, things are very scary right now as of May 31st 2020.

In January we had a political situation that nearly started War World 3. In February we had the announcement of a global virus that is still just as contagious and deadly as it was then, and possibly was running about by late December. In either March or April I believe had major flooding in the state of Michigan, and now it seems we’re going to end May with civil rights protests where police and military are attacking protesters seemingly unprovoked.

And this is all very scary.

I know my words don’t have the same weigh as a celebrity or a political figure, but I feel that validation of basic human emotion is the key to coming to an understanding, so I’ll say again: this is all scary stuff. It feels like as my world continues to turn uninterrupted while the world around me is just turning more and more to ash. It’s like being in a safe haven while watching people run from a fire slowly approaching, and it’s scary. It’s outright terrifying. And I think it’s important to admit this and accept this. You can be afraid, you can say you’re afraid, you can cry and worry about how scary things are. Accepting those feelings is important, just don’t let them control you.

That said.

Allen X’s Take on Things

Here’s what I can say so far. 

A lack of police accountability has be a fact of life here in the US for years, decades even.

The police have far more power than we give them credit for.

While many of my dealings with police have been good, I get the feeling I’m the exception to the rule.

Our current federal leadership has been nothing short of ignorant, arrogant, and domineering toward not only minorities, but the general population.

Supporters of this leaderships are, frankly, remarkably ignorant at best, and criminally dangerous at worst. 

We have reached a point were basic health regulations such as wearing masks in the middle of a global pandemic is now a partisan issue. This is bad. 

We have reached a point where more police accountability during a time of global pandemic is now politically divisive. This is also bad.

I could go on, but these are the most pressing thoughts I have on our current situation and the nicest I can be about this topic while maintaining an air of professionalism. Like I said, things are scary. The more I look into things, the worse I feel about the state of this country. The only positive thing I can say is that it should all be over once election day comes. 

Now, here’s something else I’d like to state.

Allen X is Black

I never enjoy talking about my ethnicity on the internet. As someone who talks more about video games, anime, manga, and general niche “otaku” media, I feel like my ethnicity and race rarely play a role in my opinion of Asian media, as I’d always be viewing it as an outsider regardless. However, with this topic I feel I should at least state that there is a reason I use X as a stand-in for my pseudo last name. It was originally the name of an old self-insert OC, Allen X. Walker, but when I realized Allen Walker was already taken, I just left it to Allen X. A cheeky nod to both how a lot of only aliases of the early 2000s had “X” as a stand-in to keep original names, and a to my ethnicity, riffing on Malcom X, who used that letter as a stand-in for the last name our ancestors had stolen when taken to the US by force to work the plantations.

As I said, my race is rarely relevant to what I cover, but it does effect my everyday life. I get nervous when I say on my application sheets that I’m Black, wondering if that’d be a black mark. I get twitchy whenever I do my laps around my predominately white neighborhood, wondering if I’d get snide looks and sneers. I get agitated whenever anyone uses the n-word due to it never meaning anything positive in my past. I annoyed when people assume I’m either British or from the UK due to my not having the typical accent of most Black people since I lived in a white neighborhood for most of my life and took speech classes as a child to speak “normally”. Hell, I was bullied by the Black seniors in my high school as a Freshman for not being “Black enough”. And more recently, I was kicked out of the neighborhood I do my rollerblading laps in because that neighborhood suddenly became “private property” when some new neighborhoods moved in. New neighbors that are fine with me being ran over by a car, but not “trespassing” on their sidewalks.

Needless to say, I am very familiar with racism and prejudice. It doesn’t effect me as badly as the folks in the south and especially where these protests are, but I am familiar with it. And when I see these videos and tweets of the violence and police brutality, the anger of the people, it’s terrifying. It terrifying that this is real and is happening just a few states down south of me, and possible one state north of me. It’s terrifying that all this is happening so brazenly and with very few people in our system of government, at least at the executive level, doing anything about. And it’s terrifying that I’m not seeing this on too many major news channels and sites. That’s partially due to me rarely looking up the news aside from headlines, but most major places I’ve seen, save for maybe CNN, really haven’t been talking much about it, not as much as I’d like anyway. It’s all just a lot to take in, and those nervous moments I have due to my ethnicity start to make me shake with fear some days now.

But... I need to move on to the next topic, for the sake of my sanity.

What Must be Said

Like before, I feel like there are things that must be said. To be silent is to be compliant, and while my own position in life is a little to fragile to break out the picket signs and parade the streets, I will at least use my online voice to state what I feel must be stated, if only to say what I do and don’t agree with. 

With that said:

Injustices by the police and general law enforcement must be given accountability.

The murder of innocent minority, racial or otherwise, is wrong and must be given the proper punishments.

The lack of care toward healthcare, workers’ rights, civil rights, and so on must be ratified.

Law enforcement should never be seen as or used as a force of fear as it currently is now.

And during a health pandemic like we are now, safety should be a prime concern before anything else. For the police to be acting as they are now makes me fearful of the future.

The fact that I have to say any of that, the fact that any of that is controversial is appalling. The fact that a simple hashtag like #blacklivesmatter is controversial is appalling. The fact that I even hesitated to write that hashtag to maintain professionalism is appalling. It sickens me a little to live in a country where any of that is said, written, or typed with a hint of hesitation or worry. It’s just... so appalling.

That’s all I have to say on this subject, at least in this tone. My purer, more raw thoughts I’ll save for my friends and family in private.

But... I think that leaves us with one question left before I end this. Which is...

How Did We Get Here?

Folks, I am a knowledgeable man, but I don’t consider myself an intelligent one. I didn’t study years of the underlying racism, sexism, homophobia, transphobia, Islamophobia, and antisemitism that lead to our situation.

However... I am very sarcastic and sharp-tongued man. I don’t show that side of myself often here on the internet aside from jokes and jabs at nonsensical things like anime, as it breaks my typical persona of an analytical and professional man, but I think I can sum up what’s happening by paraphrasing single quote that I feel many of the wrong people have used to justify their own feelings of injustices. So with that said:

What do you get when you cross an abused and patient minority with a society that abandons them and treats them like trash?

“I’ll tell you what you get. You get what you fucking deserve.”

Anyway, ideally I’ll have a much happy topic to talk about later this week. Like Arknights. Like I said in the beginning, A former mafia delivery girl got into a fist fight with a kung fu detective, a lot of fun things happened in the latest event.

#your dictator is speaking

[robert-c]

What Should Be Illegal?

For most of human history there have been two sources for what was defined as illegal or prohibited behavior – religion and political power; and often the combination of the two. Whoever is in control obviously wants to stay in control so anything that threatens their power is going to be illegal. Religions can come up with a wide array of things to prohibit; some just to be different and distinctive, some to prove their power (there’s little proof of power in telling people not to do something no one wants to do in the first place), and even some because it makes sense. But this last is never the reason given – because it must be about “because I say so” (where “I” is the priest or other spokesperson for “God”, “Creator”, or whatever).

With this sort of history it is easy to see how we can get misled into believing that there needs to be an “official” (or even “unofficial”) religion of a country. At the risk of offending, let’s just say that believing “God” (by whatever name) is the source of all moral conduct codes is a cop out, an excuse for not thinking these things out on our own. That’s not to say there is no such thing as a divine being, just that ascribing the source of moral conduct for a whole society to a being one must accept on faith is really just accepting the dictates of someone who has successfully convinced you that they are the spokesperson for this ethereal being. Tying right in with the desire for simple certainty, it is easy to buy into this idea. But it doesn’t do much to develop a society that preserves the right of each person to believe as their own conscience dictates.

It’s true that most previous societies have been organized around a common religious or cultural set of beliefs, and it is also true that model has produced most of the oppression and warfare in human history. Surely there is a better way for us to live together.

A society that seeks to make possible the widest range of personal freedom of belief must limit prohibited behavior to the minimum necessary for a society to function. While the concept seems simple, the application can get complicated as the personal beliefs of some inevitably cannot imagine a world in which “x” is not prohibited. Nevertheless, a decent foundation was laid with the ideas that depriving someone of life, liberty or property without the due process of law was wrong and should be illegal. The Founding Fathers of the United States may not have fully understood the ramifications of what they were setting up by forbidding the establishment of a ‘state religion’; but most great ideas end up being grander than their creators ever imagined.

This whole idea that if we believe something we must impose it on others, has a very long history, probably as long as humans even imagined that there was anything “divine” at all. Without getting too far into a history lesson, it wasn’t until Judaism (and later Christianity) came into contact with a wider world that it really became an issue. Most of the so-called pagan religions offered myths about the creation and nature of the world, and little in the way of commandments on moral behavior. The biggest requirement of most of these other religions was providing sacrifices and donations to the priests of the various deities. So when one people with different gods took over another people they insisted that their gods get the sacrifices and the offerings. Many might regard this as a simple racket to get a free ride in society, not perhaps dissimilar to various current day charlatans charging people for cliché advice under the guise of self-help or self-development. I would agree with that comparison. The Romans had the inkling of a very brilliant idea in creating their empire. Rather than replace the conquered population’s gods with their own, they just allowed them to continue with the idea that they were just other names for the same ones the Romans knew. Their “king of the gods” was Jupiter, but if you were Greek that was the same as Zeus and if Egyptian that was Ra, and so on.

Judaism and Christianity were different in that they had a moral code of conduct. So more than just the name of the god that you provided sacrifices to was at stake. Judaism’s prohibition of images of God ends up being an intolerance for images of the other gods. It breaks with the tradition of allowing others to have their own view of who or what “god” (or “God”) is. This is precisely the attitude that we must resist if we wish to live in a free society. Thomas Jefferson wrote in a letter, “…in every age the priest has been the enemy of liberty.” I believe this is precisely the point he was trying to make – that enforcement of a single religious world view inevitably must lead to a sort of tyranny over the very minds of people.

Despite these ideals and the mechanism to protect them through the separation of powers in the Constitution, things have never been quite that straight forward. If a majority of the voters imagine something should be illegal (even if just because of their religious beliefs) then it likely will become law. The only hope of striking it down was supposed to be an independent judiciary, but the undue influence of extreme partisan positions has undermined that.

Which leaves only an appeal to those voters who will still use their own minds, instead of the fear and hatred some leaders continually stir up. Imagining a world in which everyone is pretty much like us is not only easy, it’s comforting on many levels. We may never be challenged to question why we think or do things in a certain way. We can feel comfortable in the world, because it is all familiar and understood. But what if we weren’t the only kind of people, what if we weren’t the majority? Now there is a choice to make – some people will see that strict devotion to the principle of many different cultures and beliefs as the only way to safely ensure that we all remain free to believe and act as we wish, no matter which way the popularity of one belief or another goes.

Sadly, there are many others who take that scenario as the reason they should “call to arms” and suppress the other ideas. This is the key point, the desire to suppress the expression of any other view point or lifestyle. I often feel that these efforts stem from a realization that public exposure to these other people and ideas will reveal the unreasonableness of their prejudices. That is what happened for most people with the mixing of the races. And it is what should happen with other groups as well.

All too often the proponents of free speech and diversity give too much respect to these folks for “merely defending their ideals”. While free speech does mean they get to express their opinions, we should call them out for what they are – people less defending their own ideals than trying to end liberty for any who disagree with them. They aren’t patriots or defenders of “traditional American values” – they are petty little wannabe tyrants who will wave the flag at the same time they trample every principle it ever stood for. It ultimately ends up where every dictatorship does, where dissent or disagreement is called treason.

It does seem that our civics classes (and our progressives) ought to spend more time promoting the idea that our “right to swing our fists ends at the other person’s nose” as Justice Oliver Wendell Holmes once said (btw he was a Republican!). For that matter, I am continually amazed that no one calls out the hypocrisy of those who call for smaller, limited government while at the same time thinking it should regulate private, personal behavior on the basis of their own personal view of morality.

The Founders of our republic were rightly suspicious of the sort of direct democracy where a majority vote of the people decided everything. It was more than just the impracticality of conducting timely polls in the 18th and early 19th century; they knew that demagogues would play to the fears of the mob and that could easily subvert the rights of the minority. Unfortunately technology and the mechanism of elections have essentially eliminated the safeguards they thought they built in by having our republic be a representative democracy – one where the majority elect representatives to handle the passing (and rejecting) of laws.

I think the only potential answer is a campaign to educate the voting public about the true nature of liberty, and the dangers (and hypocrisy) of attempting to regulate and protect a particular “culture” or set of religious beliefs. I think we need to stress the idea that even though I wouldn’t personally want to participate in or view some behaviors, the only reason to outlaw them is if it would limit my legitimate rights (as opposed to my imagined “right not to be offended”).

We have done too little to express this ideal and far too little to call out the cries for censorship and suppression of beliefs that contradict the so called “traditional” values of some of the most extreme elements of our society. In every age there are those who are more comfortable with the way things are, even if they have reservations about the rightness of them. I believe failure to call them out for this behavior is what Edmund Burke meant when he said “for evil to triumph all that is required is for good men to do nothing.”

There is another test for what should be illegal, and I think it is a relatively simple test, though not necessarily easy in practice because of people’s denial and devotion to their ideas. If the primary reason for making something illegal is a moral or ethical claim, then it should be suspect. In other words, don’t tell me that it is wrong because of your ethics or morals, tell me how it deprives someone else of their right to life, property, liberty or their own pursuit of happiness. And I don’t mean some “domino theory” of how it will undermine society. It may not be without its own gray areas, but if we exposed the religious underpinnings of the belief behind the moral code it might become more obvious that the proposed law has more to do with legislating someone’s religious beliefs than it does with protecting the liberty of others.

There is an illustrative historical example in the “blue laws” that used to exist in Texas and other southern states. Basically these laws sought to prohibit certain items from being sold on Sundays. It began as prohibiting the sale of “non-essential” items, but quickly became the farce it was always meant to be. Baby food could be sold, but not diapers. Hammers but not nails (or vice versa, I can’t remember). It was clear to all that the point of the law was to make everyone respect the idea that Sunday was “God’s day” and not just another shopping day. In order to mask the nature of what they were up to, the supporters of the blue laws said that they couldn’t sell the prohibited items on consecutive Saturday and Sundays, or Sundays and Mondays. This was supposed to make it seem less like a religious law. As people from the north moved to Texas a growing movement to repeal these laws started. The supporters tried to couch the law as protection for time off for workers, despite the fact that Federal laws already regulated pay and hours, and that the blue laws did nothing to protect workers from abusive hours in the rest of the week. In the last referendum before their abolishment, support of the blue laws was equated to support for local, family owned businesses, against national chain stores, as if the sales on one day of the week could bankrupt small locally owned businesses. But the most telling news came when the referendum abolishing the blue laws was passed. One of its most outspoken supporters got emotional and lost his phony mask of rationality. He said that they weren’t done yet, and that while they might not be able to force people to go to church, they would continue their efforts to make sure that there was little else they could do on Sunday. And so, what most of us already knew all along, was finally admitted. We don’t often get to see it so clearly, but look closely at the folks who “coincidentally” want to regulate something that just happens to mirror their religious beliefs.

I am also persuaded to be suspicious when there is gross inconsistency. On the one hand someone wants to object to regulations of businesses and their dealings with the consumer public, arguing for more limited government, but at the same time thinks the government ought to be regulating private choices because of some larger moral or alleged societal impact.

If we think about it in these terms a lot of the objections to laws and regulations are ridiculous and the regulations are necessary to protect us from the greed and short-sightedness of some people: e.g. regulations about product and workplace safety, regulations to preserve the opportunity for competition to exist in industries dominated by a few companies, and of course laws prohibiting using age, race, gender, religion, etc. as reasons to disqualify someone from employment instead of their actual capabilities. And other regulations are simply enforcing a personal belief; regulating personal medical choices (whether it’s to carry a fetus to term, or to die with dignity), who you can marry, and even personal appearance.

We simply MUST stop imagining that this country is, was or ought to be a single religious or cultural place if we are to continue to enjoy its true uniqueness in the world, as a place where people are free to believe as they will.

#freedom #rights #what is illegal

[yourfandomfriend]

Symbolism and Simplification | Good Omens Meta

Aha, I’ve found something to meta about! It’s actually the only ambiguous thing about the whole series: what do you think Crowley and Aziraphale represent? 

** SPOILERS** FOR GOOD OMENS ** SPOILERS **

There’s a lot of argument surrounding GO in regard to the sexuality of the main characters. On the one hand, they’re angels, they don’t breed, they don’t have human brain chemistry, they even really have gender in the sense we’re used to, they obviously lack the baggage of humans and their sexualities. But on the other hand, they’re fictional characters invented within a society, baggage is baked into everything whether we mean for it to be or not.

So what are they already? Are they gay/bi/etc? Are they without human definition? Ace? Queerbaiting? Better left to interpretation? Well. I think all these questions ignore something painfully fundamental that we zero out when we adjust to consuming the hundreds of stories available to modern flixxers: 

They are fictions.

I don’t mean that as a brush-off; I think the questions are valid and being fictitious doesn’t let anyone off the hook for political statements. What I mean is, fictional characters aren’t people but are symbolic of people. Of large ideas and thorny emotions, how we see ourselves grappling with them, with all the noise of reality, the static and blur and contradiction, left out. 

That’s important because nothing in fantasy is ever truly a 1:1 reflection of reality. That would be horribly dull and not at all as sharp and vivid as fiction. We don’t have time for squinting at Monets. The world is ending...

Making the Big, Feel Small

The TV Apocalypse! Hot take: who gives a rats ass about that? A fake world ending and people who never lived are going to die? No consequences for us, so no real stakes! Why should any of us care?

Well, what if the world ending in a TV show took something away that could hurt us in the real world? Reach through the screen and snap us where it counts? But that would mean the show would have to be the one to give us something we wanted in the first place. Needed, even. Something rare and precious, something it could hold over our heads in case we stopped investing our emotions in the make-believe end of days.

I think you get where I’m going with this. The fabric of reality is threatening to be torn apart over some ridiculous war between initial caps Good and Evil, and if they get their way, it’s not just the end of the world. It’s the end of Crowley & Aziraphale’s arrangement/fraternizing/love story. 

And just like that, we feel it tug at our heartstrings. It really could end, oh no!

We like them so we get why they might like each other. But to make us really care, we have to go through it with them and have them go through it with us. It’s not enough for us to want them to be together, they have to want them to be together, too. So the miniseries decides to illustrate anecdotes that the book is content to describe so you’ll know where you were when these chumps fell in love with each other.

As far as romantic moments that leave shippers squeeing, most shows have a few every season at the very best, but Gaimen and co. aren’t forking around. They only had eight episodes, why not go the “Oops! All Berries” route? Every scene they’re in has at least a look or a line that sews precarious, blossoming Love Sweet Love into the seems of this show like a sadistic tailor.

We don’t just want them to be safe in the end. We don’t just want them to be happy. They have to be together.

Making the Small Feel Big

So love stories... Some of us adore them but some of us just don't have the patience for them, or we’ve been conditioned to think they’re too flowery. Just people creating drama for themselves that could easily be avoided. What to do then? How does one make a romance slap?

Why not make it the literal end of the world? Why not rain fish from the sky and summon C’thulu and set shit on fire? Not only is it great drama but it makes for great symbolism and helps out those of us who can’t sit still for a love story.

Why not make saps of your hard-edged audience? Some of us need it.

Making the Ineffable, Eff

“So the HMS Ineff Yourself is the ship to end all ships,” I hear you say. “So what? You didn’t answer the question to our satisfaction! What are they really? Friends, lovers? I want a box to put them in or I’ll explode! This isn’t hyperbole and I’m not a straw man, I’m a real person trapped in a blog post!” 

Well, I can address some of that, relax. Answering the big question requires a buttload of empathy. Not only are Crowley and Aziraphale not human, but they don’t have the culture of humans. Their big taboo isn’t about gender -- in a world where the establishment is casually nonbinary, it’s hard to use these guys as a super-literal reflexion of the real world. The hats have little fingers, the plants are terrified, it’s all a stretch. 

But the idea of two characters in love being torn apart by a false dichotomy that dictates everything about their expression and forces them into narrow little boxes of performance, that if expectations aren’t met could result in their violent deaths, is, among other things, deeply applicable.

It doesn’t just look like this to a biased audience, it was written that way. In order to wrap your brain around something as alien as angels and demons, something you can’t actually know, you have to draw from what you can know. They love each other, but it’s all a little beyond their understanding. But they’re immortal, they have time to figure it out.

That answer may lack the definition some of us want, but what doesn’t?

Better Angels

One part of the story I’ve seen even very smart people stumble over is something I see smart people stumble over constantly in their analysis of great fiction. They just can’t abide a gray area.

Maybe in real life, it makes sense for things to not be all black and white, but they expect things that are a little removed from them, things they might not be paying a lot of attention to (like my blog posts) to be very clear about which side they come down on. They’re like Gabriel that way.

We know most people are blind, biased fools, but we all want to believe we’re not. We don’t have scales on our eyes, we know what’s up and see the world clearly, we want what is Right, not just what is simple and convenient.

But if most people are fools...?

The Heaven part of the story makes no sense to people who see the world in black and white terms because, you know, it’s one thing to portray Hell as bad, but Heaven? Heaven is Righteous, how can Righteousness be bad?

Sure, Crowley’s okay, but that must be because he’s good deep down and always has been, there’s no other reason he’d care about humans. And we like him, and we’re good, so he must be good. (That’s the transitive property of fandom.) It can’t be that we mistake things we like for things that are right and all that’s beneficial to humanity with good-. Ow! Oo, sorry, I think I sprained my sarcasm. (I shouldn’t overtax it like that!)

Along with not seeing the gray in Crowley, most will ignore it in Aziraphale, too, at least on first viewing. After all, he’s just so kind, and willing to rebel against Heaven and everything he believes in and even put himself in danger of smiting to stop a terrible thing from happening. But most of all, he cares about humans and Crowley. He loves. What’s so bad about that?

Well, you can love people and still be decadent, dishonest, willfully ignorant of inconvenient facts, manipulative, self-involved, gullible, silly, (although it hurts me to list that as a flaw) procrastinating, spoiled, and a push-over. 

Actually, looking at a list of some of Azirphale’s flaws makes it clear that most of them come down to him being weak-willed. He wants to be good but as an unsupervised god among men for 6000 years, someone who can magic even small things to go his way, he lacks the willpower to stick to anything once he’s (even gently) been tempted away from it.

And that which seems to be the heart of all his failings, the thing that pissed off Heaven the most about him, also seems to be the thing Crowley finds most compelling about him. It’s the part of Az that wants things for himself, that needs other people, and will break the rules if he thinks they’re unreasonable. That would never, say, damn someone to Hell for asking questions. The part of him that can absolutely love someone who was damned.

Aziraphale spends most of the story being pulled back and forth between powerful personalities, between Gabriel and Crowley, only to ultimately choose and fight for the thing he himself wants most, rather than what other people tell him to do or even the thing he knows is right. Which is good, since his concepts of right and wrong were handed to him by ridiculous bureaucrats.

At least in the series, Aziraphale and Crowley are perfectly symbolic of humanity’s struggle with doing the right thing in interesting times. They aren’t exactly bad people needing to become good, but a lot of little mistakes on their part added up to a big disaster and they both needed to find the strength and the courage to swim against a very wicked current.

In my opinion, the show is about failing and making amends. It doesn’t matter if you’re trying to do the right thing or the wrong thing, we all fuck up more than occasionally, but we have to get on with it and do our best.

Because there are no better angels. It’s just us. 

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...What, you want a clearer, simpler answer than that? Fine. The real message of Good Omens is don’t pollute.

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