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pretty-little-pests · 2 months

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The Batfam as things I've heard during theater:

Khoa: Because that's ☆Homicide☆

Alfred: If you don't want your ruby slippers to get stolen, stop hanging out under houses.

Tim: What flavor of chronic pain do you have?

Duke: There's so many layers

Steph: Like an onion.

Duke & Steph (together): …or an Ogre!

Helena: I'm sorry! My natural state is T-Rex!

Babs: Penta-go team

Bruce: And I quote: no comment

Dick: Let's go put on our sexy dodo costumes

Jason: Lord Alfred Tennishoes

Cass: Wingardium stabby-osa

Damian: Don't get van Gogh-ed, get van gone

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darkwitchingflower · 3 months

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ITS BEEN A WHILE but here's things me and my friends have said as pjo character pt 4/5???

Annabeth: That's not very feminism of you (@wraith--2)

Hestia: maybe build like a life size bread bloke (@carpcranium)

Leo: Feels like my toes are bleeding but it's just cause they're defrosting (@wraith--2)

Percy to annabeth: Nooo pookie don't leave ill get her a spider abortion (friend not on tumblr)

Annabeth: I thought I'd die before seeing common sense in this gc (friend not on tumblr)

Jason: It's not boring to want money and to not be even more mentally ill (@indecisivenb)

Leo: Sure bud (me)

Piper: Jesus was not straight (@wraith--2)

Some random camper in the dining pavillion: Hes staring into my soup (@wraith--2)

Leo: Everyone needs a piece of Leo (friend not on gc)

Leo: Me dehydrated: must not drink sex juice (@wraith--2)

Jason: Me and Percy cockfight like 3 times (@chefchennan)

Piper: Harry x hermione

Ron x jesus or smth

Luna x whoever tf she ended with? (Friend not on tumblr)

Mr D to someone being given a quest: You don't have a choice

They don't have a choice

It's equality all around (me)

Piper: Im not a people pleaser, im a woman pleaser (friend not on tumblr)

Jason (idk why but i instantly thought Jason): saggy balls? (@chefchennan)

Thalia: From your local asexual xx (@wraith--2)

Thalia: Homicide on Pinterest is an interest (@wraith--2)

Chiron: oh that's nice to see! A camper with a smile! (My criminology teacher)

Annabeth: ye I made percy smile by telling him I didn't like him in greek! (Friend not on tumblr)

Apollo: Will! Thoughts on be crime do gay?! (@carpcranium)

Thalia about Frank: Me and him are still friends we shoot kids together yesterday (@chefchennan)

Will doing some form of doctor test idk: I'm gonna skedaddle into your scrotum (@wraith--2)

Thalia: I f**king love garlic bread yummers. Its gotten so bad that I eat is everyday. I sweat garlic butter and shit out logs of bread. It's an endless cycle and I remake the garlic break with what I unleash (friend not on tumblr)

Percy to Annabeth (leo helped after frank found them in the stables): Thine eyes are blessed with the sight of her. Her.

Who I wake to every morning and think of

Who I dream of at night

Aphrodite has forsaken me yet she is my light

The waves will roar and crash

And I know, she is always up for a smash (@wraith--2)

Leo to literally any girl with a pulse: When I see her thoughts are gone

And all I can do is simply long

She could never be mine

Yet still I pine (@wraith--2)

Rachel thinking abiut percy: Days will pass and the sun shall set

All the while I'd place a bet

That I'm still there

Twirling my hair

Dreaming of something that was never fair (@wraith--2)

Thalia: is is the most fun I've had in ages, I'm trying to teach the bot aromanticisum (@wraith--2)

Thalia: As a matter of fact I am definitely aromantic but thanks for the suggestion (@wraith--2)

Leo, he meant to say floppy disks: Have you ever seen one of those floppy dicks-...🤏 (friend not in tumblr)

Mr D: Anyways orgies (@wraith--2)

Will to Nico: She's like nah, no love hearts have an onion were like Shrek now (me)

Percy: When I go to sleep I'm going to dream about gay sea creatures aren't I? (@wraith--2)

Annabeth: It's okay I'm a big girl I cry into my pillow (@wraith--2)

Annabeth: ohhh right in the trust issues (@thatonelazyghost)

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yourlocal-antifa · 2 months

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Things my friends have said as marauders quotes pt. idk

Sirius: Lesbian sex

James:

James: What-

James: I'm texting with my hot sexy murderer boyfriends, and then you come here with lesbian sex wtf

Sirius: I'm watching black swan

Sirius: and there's lesbian sex

James: Ohhhhh that makes sense

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no-avengers-died-fuck-you · 5 months

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Natasha: somebody called me white Simone Biles yesterday

Tony: oh that was me!!!

#things my loved ones have said #things my friends have said #tony stark #iron man #natasha romanov #natasha romanoff #black widow #the avengers #incorrect quotes #marvel cinematic universe #marvel

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wolfstardaughter-jj · 1 year

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James: *feeling sad that Lily might genuinely not like him back cause of what Marlene said recently*

Peter: listen, just because its Marlene's opinion doesnt mean it's Lily's opinion.

Sirius: Yeah! Marlene's opinion doesnt matter.

Remus, slaps forehead: Padfoot! Don't word it like that!

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rhiannons-bird · 1 year

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TSC characters as things my friends/family have said

- Alec *to Jace*: Sure, sounds like a good idea.

- Alec: I’m kidding, obviously.

Emma: Look, you don’t have to resign right away just because your boss is an asshole. You could start out by puncturing his tires.

Mark: A bite of wine sounds great. Right along with a sip of cheese.

Dru: No, leave this pancake, it isn‘t well. It has… encephalitis.

- Will: I need this for my future.

- Gabriel: You don’t have a future.

James: I just gotta stare at the ceiling for a bit. See you later.

Kit: “Lmao”, “bruh”, both better than “lol”.

- Catarina *to Magnus and Ragnor*: It’s all well as long as the two of you are having fun together.

- Ragnor: I’m not.

Grace *playing with a molecular model kit*: Oh no, what did I do! A cyclic dimer.

Jem *about Church*: In reality he is so disgustingly adorable that you can’t properly capture it in a photograph.

- Henry: Guys! Can someone tell me where the skull went??

- Charlotte: I don’t know where the skull went! You were already wondering about that last year.

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tmbsincorrectquotes · 1 month

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things my friends have said as the mysterious benedict society characters [pt. 1]

Kate: go grab a random fellow and befriend them. if that doesnt work, force them into submission >:)

Kate, drinking boba: im sucking up sum balls *laughs* Reynie: *chokes* Constance: whats so funny? everyone sucks its balls. especially when you suck it using the straw. Constance, pointing at the dropped math homework: why is the math spilling everywhere?! Reynie, frowning: Sorry Constance, I can't stop the leak. Sticky: what- Constance: This is like the stuff i watch at pornhub. Reynie: YOU WATCH PORN HUB??? Constance: yeah with kate. Kate: Constance, we talked about this.. you werent going to rat me out until AFTER we convince sticky to watch it then blame it on him. Reynie: HoLd Up WHAT

Kate, jumping up and down: GUYS! Reynie: ?? Kate: If helium makes balloons float.. does that mean if we fill car tires with helium, cars can fly?! Sticky: Actually.. no, that'll just make the tires lighter. Constance: You shouldn't have ruined it for her. now we dont get to see her disappointment when she tries it out. Kate: *smacks constance*

Kate: *grabs constance's milk box* Kate: *hesitates, then puts it back* Reynie: *raises eyebrow* why'd you put it back- Kate: *looks at constance dead in the eye* didnt wanna steal from a tiny innocent child. Reynie: kate- run. Constance: WHAT DID YOU SAY?!

#the mysterious benedict society #tmbs #tmbs incorrect quotes #incorrect quotes #constance contraire #kate wetherall #reynie muldoon #mysterious benedict society #sticky washington #things my friends have said #things my friends say

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artemis-lynn · 4 months

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Newsies as things my friends and I have said: Part 1

Race, trying to convince Davey to confess his feelings to Jack:

In the words of my great great something grandpa..."You do or you do not. There is no try."

Davey: Wha-

Race: Shut up, Yoda's my grandpa. That's why I'm special as frick, go with it.

#newsies 1992 #92sies #newsies #Javey #Javid #davey jacobs #david jacobs #Newsies ships #incorrect quotes #things my friends have said #things I have said #race newsies #racetrack newsies #racetrack higgins #David newsies #Davey newsies #artie's random ass newsies shit

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i-eat-bread-and-cry-on-the-floor · 1 year

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things my friends have said as incorrect rtc quotes

Mischa: I want.. like…

Noel: love and affection?

Mischa: McFlurryy

- - - -

Noel: Who brought you that cookie?

Ocean: Not your dad

- - - -

Ricky: who wants to come with me to get lunch

Constance: how about you get some bitches to come with you

Ricky: find me the bitches then

Mischa: Uh, did you just call bitches objects

- - - -

Constance, studying lines for the musical: "opportunity is not a lengthy visitor" but this dick sure is

Ricky: Yas mama!

- - - -

Ocean: I *DO* BELIEVE IN ROMANCE, BUT I DO *NOT* BELIEVE IN SHARING MY FOOD

- - - -

Penny: Hey, say some nouns for me real quick?

Mischa: I'll keep saying nouns, and see how long it takes me to get to penis. Number one: Penis- FUCK

- - - -

Penny: Can't have shit in Detroit. Someone just stole my corporeal form...

#rtc #incorrect rtc #ride the cyclone #incorrect ride the cyclone #noel gruber #ocean o'connell rosenberg #constance blackwood #jane doe rtc #penny lamb #ricky potts #mischa bachinski #Things My Friends Have Said

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darkwitchingflower · 20 days

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Things my friends have said as percy jackson characters pt. 5/6 idk I've lost count again

Apollo/Lester: I have an idea for you: thank you Apollo for blessing my life with your godly presence. Your meat wand is a blessing this summer as its size will provide shade for us all 😍 (friend not on tumblr)

Leo?: EVEN IF I HAVE TO DRAG PIPER(?) OUT THE HOUSE BY HER UNICORN HAIR (friend not on tumblr)

Leo: It's yeasting time!

Percy: Nico I am both amazed by you and concerned (@wraith--2)

Nico: What'd I do now? I'm really confused (me)

Percy: The whole dissolving your hand and drinking it (@wraith--2)

Nico: Oh ye I forgot about that (me)

Apollo: Why is a femboy stronger than me? (Friend not on tumblr)

Piper: Ladies and gent, let's pierce our flaps! (Friend not on tumblr)

Thalia: Why am I asexual? Well I decided to f*ck with depression and it f*cked back (@wraith--2)

Annabeth: I full support pettiness when it's due. It's like sass with emotional damage

Leo: My honka wonka bandonkas are just supreme in size what can I say? (Friend not on tumblr)

Piper: 😘 (me to @wraith--2 )

Annabeth: Piper, behave yourself around the asexual (best friend not on tumblr)

Nico: Corpses can't forgive. Silly bi*ch (@wraith--2)

Leo: Grab the robotomy it's time for a lobotomy (me)

Percy: Their all gonna pay for messing with my shrekie poo (friend not on tumblr)

Percy: Leonardo cappachrio (best friend not on tumblr)

Will: It's a bit too straight in here I gotta take my socks off.... you're allowed to make love to the homies as long as you have socks on (best friend not on tumblr)

Grover: Thank you for the balls (I meant maulteasers, this is also said by me)

Piper: If they (men) can have their penises out why can't we (women) (me)

Piper shivers*

Jason going to hug her: aw you cold? (Me)

Piper: ye my nipples are hard (best friend not on tumblr)

Leo: Simba, the sacrifice (best friend not on tumblr)

Playing human fall flat:

Piper: Let's kiss! (Best friend not on tumblr, she's piper in all of this interaction)

Our characters head butt*

Annabeth: how much do I owe you? (Me)

Piper: sssshhh pain will be over soon!

Annabeth: oh ok

This interaction is the same people as above with same characters

Piper: I'll get it out for you, baby girl

Annabeth: Is it in?

Leo: Don't grab my butt that costs money (best friend not on tumblr)

Dionysus, idk who else to put lol: God of wine and insanity... otherwise known as me last weekend (best friend not on tumblr)

Annabeth: The f*cking duck that asked the same f*cking man every f*cking day for some f*cking grapes when all he f*cking sold was some f*cking lemonade and then when the f*cking man brought the f*cking duck to a f*cking store to buy some f*cking grapes the f*cking duck asked DOES THIS STORE SELL F*CKING LEMONADE (Best friend not on tumblr)

Percy: Yeup, that's the duck (me)

Annabeth: AND YOU THINK HES EDUCATED?! (Best friend not on tumblr)

Percy mahbe in the labyrinth?: BE WAREY! I hear a worm... (@carpcranium)

Annabeth explaining the difference between a horse and pegasus: ...but they're not allowed to fly because horse* racism (@indecisivenb )

*the actual quote is bird racism but saying horse made it fit better

Nico: Don't worry, if the ghosts don't ghost you I will 🫡 (@wraith--2)

Leo: Tf2 heavy weapons guy is kinda hot (friend not on tumblr)

Percys dyslexia getting in the way of wording something*: He's rubbing off against me (@duckbakery)

Piper: I'm being blackmailed with my biggest weakness; gay people (@indecisivenb)

Jason: We are not getting yeast infections in my house, Leo (friend not on tumblr)

#if you cant tell im fed up with exams and bored so here you go #percy jackson #pjo #hoo #heroes of olympus #annabeth chase #nico di angelo #rick riordan #riordanverse #will solace #leo valdez #my friends as #things my friends say #things my friends have said #the duck song

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yourlocal-antifa · 1 month

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Things my friends have said as marauders quotes

Sirius: *sending James random screenshots of his ex gf who is acting all pick me in their dms*

James: Omg no... girl if you gotta be pick me write it down in your little diary but dont torture us with it.

James: And with us, i mean you, but us because... yeah

Sirius: Yes fr, we're a 2 in 1

James: we dont get sold alone, and this girl needs to honestly get a life

#the marauders fandom #james potter #sirius black #incorrect marauders quotes #things my friends say #things my friends have said #as marauders quotes #marauders quotes #hannah tag ☆

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charlesdslton · 2 years

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Random things dps edition (things my friends and I have said)

*Knox Todd and Neil eating next to a trash can*

Knox: what are people gonna think of us?? They might think that we’re stupid

Neil and Todd: we are..

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Knox: what are we gonna do now

Charlie: your mom

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

*Neil and Charlie taking a what character are you quiz*

Charlie: I got Willy Wonky

Neil: VABAHAHAHAHA WHAT???

Charlie: I MEAN WILLY WONKA BAHAHAHAHA

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

*Meeks, Neil and Knox texting*

Meeks: Ew don’t remind me that day I had hair.

Knox: you had hair??

Neil: BHAHAHHHAHA

Knox: so now you’re bold???

Neil: AHAHHAAHAHAHA

Meeks: I MEANT THAT I HAD A BAD HAIR DAY

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Charlie: I’m listening to hakuna matata right now

Meeks: IM LISTENING TO HAKUNA MATATA TOO!!!!

Charlie: SLAYYY

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

#richard cameron #dead poets society #dps boys #dps fandom #dead poets #charlie dalton #neil perry #dead poets headcanons #dps headcannons #knox overstreet #steven meeks #dps memes #neil and todd #charlie dalton x knox overstreet #things my friends have said

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marshmallowwitharubberband · 2 months

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I have a friend who is the sweetest person alive, the type of person who gets repeatedly scammed or tricked because she can't conceive that people may have bad intentions.

But she has trouble expressing herself verbally, to hilarious and sometimes horrifying results.

Like the time she texted the group chat:

"Guys, do any of you like collecting bugs?"

"Because I found her dead on the sidewalk"

"she's still in great condition"

And we were like wtf?! call the police?!

She meant a butterfly. She found a dead butterfly and wanted to see if any of us wanted it for, like, art. But our native language does not require sentences to have a subject bc there's different suffixes for gender and plural/singular. So the way she worded it sounded like she just found a female human corpse and was really nonchalant about it.

#but we love her anyway #random anecdotes #things my friends say #things my friends have said #mistaking bug collecting for a crime

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scarletkaoru · 5 months

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Listening to my friend’s 10-minute rant on how tragic the fall of David Tennant Hottest Doctor is, in light of the new doctor being f i n e was hilarious

and now ‘david tennant was the hottest doctor for years! Undefeated!’ plays in my head every time i see a ncuti gatwa doctor post/art

#We all agreed it was a deserved victory #Doctor who #Things my friends have said #The post™️

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thoughtsofagremlin · 8 months

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Things that happened today

Friend A: SO apparently Chinese mythology has mpreg

Friend B: Ain’t that an image format?

Me: JPEG?!?!?

Bonus:

Friend B: Mythology is just really old fanfiction

#quotes #funny quotes #irl friends #i have those? Shocking #things my friends have said

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william-austin · 1 year

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be more chill characters as things me and my friends + teachers have said

michael: "anxiety new year!!"

the SQUIP: "i know you're dumb but not THAT dumb"

everyone: "my life hurts" (my TEACHER said this)

the SQUIP: "like do they not care about the people that i also do not care about?"

rich or michael?: "theres so clearly nothing funny thats been going on besides my suffering"

jeremy: “why yall need a valentine? i got team snapchat right here”

jeremy or michael?: "depression checks out"

mr. heere: "i got the fatherly skills 💪💪"

michael: "It’s the Mickey Mouse, Crack house"

michael: "#anxiety 😰😰"

jeremy: "shut up. i mean 👍😁"

christine: "sorry i just got possessed by the theatre kid demons"

#be more chill #bmc #things my friends have said #okay we get it austin #its funny cause i said like 60% of these

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