#thinking about her more and how being a child star effects her (especially in her teens and early 20s) | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

komoboko · 3 months

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𝐓𝐡𝐞 𝐨𝐫𝐩𝐡𝐚𝐧𝐚𝐠𝐞; 𝐩𝐫𝐨𝐥𝐨𝐠𝐮𝐞

A small event following the discovery of a contagious blood demon art that changes somebody’s age and it’s infected all the pillars turning them back into children... and now these children look up to you and the kamaboko squad for guidance ー heavily inspired by @ghostbite0 pintsized pillars au please please please check out their art i beg

prologue entry 1: character introductions and general hcs

starring: the kamaboko squad, the pillars + aoi kanzaki, senjuro rengoku, reader?? Idk they don’t rlly do much tbh..

The chance of blood demon art being contagious is unlikely, but not impossible. Maybe after this you’ll realize that if something isn’t impossible, always be cautious because it is. News spreads like wildfire around the corps about a new blood demon art, figured out to be contagious. The effects having something to do with age, making people become much younger than they currently are now. Worse of all the prime suspect of who brought it back is one of the pillars themselves. Everybody is ushered and reccommended to stay inside for now, until they figure out what’s going on. People can only point fingers at who they believe it is, but it doesn’t very long for them to find out.

SANEMI SHINAZUGAWA or now known as “virus spreader” is the first person to suffer from the effects of the blood demon art, and the one who brought it back. He denies it of course but there isn’t much hiding left he can do. Once he’s dismissed from the hashira meeting he goes to train to blow off steam like usual, it’s only then where he feels dizzy as his eyes begins to close. It’s then when the blood demon art sets in place turning the stubborn wind hashira back into a 7 year old boy. To add more onto this disaster, the first person to find him in this state is his younger brother, GENYA SHINZUGAWA Who only saw him when passing the training grounds. Screaming seeing a very young child hold a nichin blade that was much too sharp to be safe, and that this ‘child’ just happened to be his older brother.

It takes awhile for Genya to make it back to master Ubuyashiki to show him what happened to his younger brother. Having to endure chasing him around and him trying to pull out his hair while carrying him back. It was far too late to want him, as now both OBANAI IGURO and GIYU TOMIOKA have both fallen for the infection at the exact same time. Genya only freezes unsure of what to do seeing two 7 year old boys either sleeping or laying soundly in the middle of the courtyard. Especially since once is coiled up between kaburamaru who is not a fan of people most of the time. Thankfully, Genya doesn’t have to deal with three miniature pillars alone as TANJIRO KAMADO seem to come catch up with him after hearing his distress. As he picks up obanai while giyu lingers around his leg. Tanjiro realizes they won’t have much time left until there’s more children hanging around the corps with access to many weapons they do not need their hands on.

The other hashira seem to last longer when it came to the blood demon art effects, or it only lingered on them later on compared to the first three. They’re able to make it to the butterfly mansion in time where KANAO KOCHO who was waiting for them is able to bring them over to her older sister. SHINOBU KOCHO who was already busy inside was aware of this infection before the other three were, as when they find her they see her with a much smaller TENGEN UZUI who has already turned into a 10 year old boy. The insect pillar seeing the other three small children coming into her room is surprised at how fast this infection is taking place tries to quickly think of something to slow it down. Right when they believed they had something kochi is no longer seen, Genya nearly had to bend down to see shinobu has turned back into a 5 year old little girl. Well the butterfly mansion won’t be any help for answers anymore.

Both Genya, Kanao, and Tanjiro are thankful that the sound hashira has turned to an age where he can actually corporate. He’s able to hold onto shinobu while the three young slayers have to take account on who has turned, how their like, and who they need to find next.

UZUI, the oldest so far knows atleast how to take care of responsibilities, but is not a good influence to anyone at all. Always using the “cool kid” excuse to convince somebody to join him ind ping something they definitely shouldn’t be doing. Sanemi falls for it as they already caught him standing in top of a desk to try and jump off and onto Genya’s hair. Uzui says it wasn’t him but you can’t say you believe him when both giyu and shinobu point towards him when you ask.

SANEMI is a wild kid sometimes, he’s still got alot of that aggressive energy from his actual self that has transferred into his much smaller self. Other times he unusually touchy, especially for him. He’ll drag somebody over unusually obanai, sometimes even giyu to just play games with him. Sometimes he likes to bother people in the occasion but it’s normally a phase. Though he is still scared oof Genya in some way, if he’s doing something he isn’t suppose to do and Genya yells at him he’ll stop immediately. He’d never admit this though, ever.

GIYU is very very calm. He doesn’t change much compared to him when he’s older. He’s just more open to hang around the others as he doesn’t mind playing any games. He prefers to stay with somebody, he doesn’t mind being by somebody like shinobu and just staying around her or he’s around tanjiro. He likes to sleep with a lot. Speaking of sleep Giyu is always doesn’t mind taking a nap, he prefers it actually. He just likes to lay down and take a break sometimes. If he is ever being held there’s a good chance he’ll just fall asleep right then and there.

OBANAI is very much a touch starved child. He enjoys being hugged or held by some of the pillars or the ‘older’ kids. He’s very quiet most of the time he’ll talk on the occasion with the kids but is usually quiet most of the time. Obanai is also another sleepy kid, jusf like giyu they both like to sleep. Sometimes they nap together if they feel like it. Kaburamaru still tries to follow him, sometimes you see him just trailing around obanai if he sees him. He did try to coil around obanai like he usually does but if did not work right at all.

SHINOBU is a very good kid, she normally just like staying around in the butterfly mansion. Other times she just enjoys falling Kanao around when she’s doing anything. Even as a small child she still likes preforming her “doctor” role even if she can’t actually preform it. AOI lets her mess around and give her fake doctor check up with some of the real equipment she has around. Though she can only do it in certain rooms with atleast two people inside, one time aoi wasn’t looking and shinobu somehow found a syringe. She nearly got poked in the arm by it if she didn’t look back up.

While the three teenagers try to figure out what to do with their pillar problem, it seems like they have to add another one of the crew. Instead of searching for KYOJURO RENGOKU rengoku comes to them instead, tanjiro if the first to turn around when hearing the pitter patter of footsteps and the loud sniffling coming from around the corner. To his surprise SENJURO RENGOKU is the cause of the noise, holding a much smaller rengoku is his arms. He shuffles over to where tanjiro, Kanao, and Genya are rambling on and telling them how he turned around and ‘poof’ rengoku turned small. Tanjiro sighs knowing they have another kid they found, or what Genya refers to as “waist height army.” Tanjiro takes the five year old boy who has just as much energy and happiness as Rengoku had just before.

Tanjiro was conflicted to say the least. Dealing with hashira was already enough, but dealing with them as kids is whole new territory. Before he can think of something to do the loud yelling echoing in the distance catches his attention. He hopes Genya, kanao, and senjuro can handle the kids while he checks it out. As he sneaks around the corner he can he was shocked but wasn’t all that surprised. INOSUKE HASHIBARA sitting across the table from MITSURI KANROJI who has also become a 5 year old girl. The both preparing to have an intense arm wrestling match. Sitting on inosuke side was ZENITSU AGATSUMA and on mitsuri side was READER AND NEZUKO KAMADO. Zenitsu only cheers on an overconfident inosuke who puts his arm in the table. He bluffs for a moment until he feels his arm snack down against the table once again, loosing in an instant. Mitusri laughs while reader and nezuko cheer her on. Inosuke stares jaw dropped underneath the mask while zenitsu is shocked and trying not to laugh himself.

A sigh of relief escapes tanjiro lips as he turns to kanao with a much smaller giyu by her side. Things were fine, things would be fine if they had some time to breath and figure things out. Tanjiro takes a breath, until he hears somebody crying. At first he thinks it’s one of the hashira who has turned into a child, only for the sound to be coming from the stone pillar himself. GYOMEI HIMEJIMA with MUICHIRO TOKITO by his side. He weeps as he holds a very small shinobu and kyojuro in his arms while senjuro tries to pay his back to calm him down. While Tanjiro has trust in the stone hashira strength and abilities, he doesn’t know how old he will turn and how strong he’s going to be. Tanjiro simply walks over, making up an excuse to try to take Rengoku and Shinobu out of Gyomei arms. He’s able to grab Kyojuro out of his arms, but the moment he turns he hears muichiro shriek and that’s already enough to tell him what was going on.

Poor poor muichiro who had zoned out while hanging around Gyomei, only to turn and look eye to eye with him. It was not a subtle adjustment he could get used to. Gyomei tries to call him down sensing panic from the boy, who was already confused enough seeing his comrades being shrunken down and running around. Unfortunately, Gyomei aid was not helpful in coming the most pillar down who only stared at him and shinobu who was asleep in his arms. Both Tanjiro, Senjuro and Rengoku were caught off guard by the change to, but mostly by muichiro uncharacteristic screech. Muichiro tried to think of something to say, to do in the moment. Before he’s able to do anything the blood demon art unfortunately catches back up with, Tanjiro watches as Muichiro nearly disappears out of thin air. He has to turn around to see Rengoku picking up a small 1 year old muichiro who looks mildly upset in his arms.

RENGOKU is such a hyperactive child. He’s always happy and always tries to make all the others happy when he can. Even for being so young, he is still somewhat trustworthy and can deal with some of the kids like shinobu, and obanai if needed. Even as a child, Rengoku voice still has volume to it. He can be louder than Gyomei if he gets really excited. He also likes to eat with mitsuri often giving her food if he has any. Giyu sometimes lingers around him if he’s not with Sanemi or Obanai.

MITSURI is such a sweetheart, always happy and always ready to play around. She’s not to troubling to deal with like some of the others, her only issue is she still has the same appetite as she does when she is an adult. So somebody always makes sure to stock up on extra food at all times. Along with this she isn’t even aware of her own strength either, as we seen with her beating Inosuke. He always comes to get a rematch even if he’ll still loose. Obanai tends to linger around her as well.

GYOMEI is the most helpful out of all the hashira and the most attentive out of them. Being the closest to his actual age, and to the rest of the “older” kids age he actually helps out alot. He’s always the one granted supervision if Tanjiro or any of the others are busy because they know they can trust Gyomei. He does take this role very seriously for some reason, he’s put Sanemi and Uzui into a makeshift timeout before because they were trying to do something much to dangerous again.

MUICHIRO is just baby. Not much he can do but sometimes they think he’s the most aware of the situation he’s in. He always has a bored look on his face or an annoyed look if somebody has ticked him off. He’s always very picky about who can hold him. He likes being around Gyomei, Obanai and Rengoku for example but others he might show more signs of boredom. One time Sanemi got to pick him up, he made fun of him a little and Muichiro tried to bite his finger off.

Tanjiro has to call everybody who’s unaffected together. Now having found and seen all the effects have landed on every single hashira they can now make a plan. They’ve found everybody they needed to but they just have to figure out. How are they going to take care of them?

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crazyexdirkfriend · 1 year

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Hi Tony i want to ask something of you. In fanon more often than not i see Jake becoming slightly more unhinged and unnerving as he gets older. Do you think this would hpapen canonically? Or are all these fanartsits and writers just projecting what they want from jake on jake

This isn't a hate on it by the way, I just realised the other day I see more often the idea of Jake becoming more unnerving as he gets older alongside Dirk and that i'd accepted it and I'm unsure if its canonically viable or not.

I actually think the nature of Jake is that people project what they want on to him-- be you an author, an audience, or a character within the text. It's an interesting concept because Jake is a character who is never afforded free will and even in fanfiction and transformative works made to give Jake free will, he's still a character doing an author's bidding ultimately.

There's a bit in Meat that discusses this with Calliope and Dirk iirc. Calliope wants Jake to have free will, but Dirk argues that Jake is incapable of free will. And truly, even on a metatextual level, the existence of a narrative voice renders basically everyone, but especially Jake, incapable of free will within a narrative.

I don't know if you've seen Revolutionary Girl Utena, but there's an exchange in Utena that I believe they're referencing intertextually here between Utena and Touga about Anthy. Utena insists that Anthy does not want to be the rose bride, and Anthy confirms this. But when Touga defeats Utena and takes Anthy as the rose bride himself, Anthy claims being the rose bride is all she's ever wanted. Touga then says Anthy is incapable of free will and her expressions of "wanting to be a normal girl" when with Utena were just Utena projecting her own wants on to Anthy and claiming them to be free will.

(pinch of salt, I haven't rewatched Utena in a few years, but this is how I remember the scene)

In many ways, this is what Calliope, and us as authors, do to Jake, and what in text Dirk is criticising as a concept. He's like, well I'm projecting my desires and wants on to Jake and you say that's bad but at least I'm being honest about it. I'm treating Jake like a puppet, but that's all he's ever going to be anyway.

Er. I think I've got wildly off topic from your actual question.

I think getting older in many ways is realising that being 14 is a state of mind and that's just who you occasionally are for the rest of your life. So yeah, I think ageing does come with this element of derangement. I have a lot of thoughts about Jake as effectively this ageing child star, put on a pedestal on Earth-C at 16 and it becoming insidious, exploitative.

Jake is self aware of his lack of agency on a literal level within the narrative, perhaps even of the narrative itself-- like a gilded bird cage of his own making and he probably could slip out between the bars but then who would he be, where would he go, would everyone hate him and abandon him? He'll just stay trapped, stay pretty on display, stay hurt until everyone probably leaves anyway because an audience is a very very fickle thing.

And I think that does sort of lead to an angle for me of Sunset Boulevard, tearing the yellow wallpaper, the starlet breakdown. Which is the depressing, almost Swift approach to it. And then you have the Ultimate Jake approach to it, the Snap. And yeah, I think historically Jake takes and takes and takes and bends and bends and bends and is called selfish for that and eventually that would snap anyone. If on top of that, he's aware of Dirk's actions and of the narrative, of being on display constantly even if he escapes that little bird cage, if the only way to ensure people stop fucking looking at him is to destroy the audience itself-- yes, I would accept that story as viable for his character.

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mdhwrites · 5 months

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The Collector Isn't a Baby. He's a Monster.

In terms of villains for TOH, The Collector dehumanizes and takes away more agency from more people, and instills more widespread, constant fear in the populace, than Belos EVER did. Heck, probably soft killed WAY more people too with his puppets too if not for the fact that Belos has been doing it longer. This is just a fact of the character.

And this isn't "Oh, that was while he was with the archivists." No. It's not. It's in For the Future. Really bluntly too for that matter. He has literal, unmanned drones hunting for people to turn into puppets for his own amusement. It's the only way that Hexside doesn't come across as brain dead is that some of the kids saw what the stars did, people tried to defend the school when they showed up and then the stars did what they do: Turn people into puppet and abduct them.

And then, MONTHS later, they are STILL doing that. As far as that implies, the Collector genuinely won't be done with soft killing people until he has EVERYONE on the Isles. Which then makes who he lets live make no sense, especially since the stars turn people into puppets the second aggression is shown. Why/how did Terra, who has no filter, ever, survive for so long? Because it was up to the Collector? Because he apparently doesn't have actually enough control over the puppets to make them pretend to be Eda well enough? That's still dehumanizing her as her and Odalia are only allowed to be people because they satisfy his desires better that way.

Meanwhile, Hexside has guard shifts. That implies that they think the Collector will actually attack them and has potentially done so in the past. That they need to fend off assault. We have no idea who the Collector's minions are because we never see them but this is still a group of KIDS, terrified for their life and having to literally work around the clock for survival.

None of which, Belos caused, either through the Collector or before. The VAST majority of people on the Isles were genuinely happier with Belos. Hell, Belos never targeted kids. You could be under his regime and in school and you did not require a coven sigil. The fucker didn't even have a plan for them as during the Day of Unity, he was preparing to leave without even checking his work. Worse yet is that a wild witch of at least close to Eda's same age faced no consequences when she finally turned herself in and took the sigil. That's the extent of how non-existent Belos' fear and dehumanization was. It's effectively a volunteer system so long as you aren't loud about how you break the law.

And yes, you can claim parallels to LGBTQIA+ people, especially in places where being gay is illegal and punishable by death but... Then the Collector just tries to wipe them all out. The only people he seems to have no interest in collecting are... Eda. He might spare Lilith again but I'm pretty sure she gets turned into a puppet again as well so it's literally just Eda and only because Eda matters THAT MUCH to King.

Which cute... But it doesn't excuse him. Doesn't excuse that he explicitly knew that Belos' plan would kill people and knew that for CENTURIES. He was excited to play amongst the BONES after all. Hard to deny you know what death is with a statement like that. Especially because Belos wouldn't have sugarcoated it. Their deal would have been to give him a way to murder all the witches and power in return for the Collector's freedom.

In order for the finale to work AT ALL, you have to ignore ALL of this. How the Collector was 100% evil. He might have been scared of being alone and what not but he still did AWFUL things without any prompting. Without any encouragement. Without anything to justify it or even explain why he did all of this besides finding trying to work with people annoying and frustrating. So why not turn them into dolls? Easier for him and more fun too.

The Collector is not an infant. He is not a child. He has lived for THOUSANDS of years. He has killed people. He cares not for the sanctity of life. He never recalled his stars because he doesn't even consider what his actions are doing because he would have to give a single fuck about someone other than himself. He only cares about King because King makes him feel better and even King is TERRIFIED.

But sure: Celebrate when the abuser and killer is redeemed and is best buddies with the person he forced to be his friend for literal months. Who had to sit in fear of saying the wrong thing, something not even Hunter feared with Belos. It's literally the first thing Hunter does the first time the two talk while King is constantly terrified anytime he has to ask for even the slightest concession.

And then he's used to criticize how SU redeemed tyrants and killers, thousands of years old, with just a speech about friendship. I'm sorry, I don't feel like that quite holds water, do you?

======+++++======

Anyone who wants to debate on me saying The Collector soft kills people, really think about what being a puppet means. You have no autonomy. You can do nothing. You are literally trapped in a body with your consciousness apparently intact but unable to stop anything that is done to you with no reason to believe you'll ever be freed. Frankly, that to me seems like a fate worse than death.

I have a public Discord for any and all who want to join!

I also have an Amazon page for all of my original works in various forms of character focused romances from cute, teenage romance to erotica series of my past. I have an Ao3 for my fanfiction projects as well if that catches your fancy instead. If you want to hang out with me, I stream from time to time and love to chat with chat.

A Twitter you can follow too

And a Kofi if you like what I do and want to help out with the fact that disability doesn’t pay much.

#the owl house criticism #toh critical #toh #the owl house #the collector

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echo-lover · 10 months

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Hello there!

A few of my favorite Star Wars headcanons about clones

• Parental instinct

I've noticed that some clones have a highly developed paternal instinct.

I think Cut with his little family is not only one.

Hunter showed concern for childrens safety from the very beginning, like Kaleb and Gungi (surviving Wookie Jedi). He looks after Omega like his own daughter, as do the rest of the Bad Batch. Hunter definitely plays the role od father in his team as a responsible and a little overprotective leader.

Echo is the most mature in my opinion and in my eyes he will always be a mommy.

Waxer immediately felt the need to care for the newly met child and had no problem with hugging or comforting little Numa when she started crying. I just know that he loved children and secretly dreamed of starting a family, but he put himself entirely at being a soldier and protecting those who can not protect themselves.

Even Boil had grown strong bond owith Numa after some time and wanted to protect her at all costs.

I think Rex would also make a great father figure. He felt a strong need to take care of others. He acted as a mentor or an older brother for Ahsoka, and when he met Omega, he immediately got in touch with her. It's worth mentioning how he immediately stood between her and Bad Batch when he found out that the boys hadn't removed their chips yet. He remembered perfectly well what happened during Order 66. I'm sure he felt guilty that he had almost executed his longtime friend who trusted him with all her heart. He also felt responsible for his brothers who died in this tragic event.

I think this paternal instinct comes straight from Jango Fett's genes, who cared for Boba and loved him, and adopt him as his son. Jango asked specifily for him and knew from the very beggining that he want to adopt this kid. The Mandalorian culture is known for being easily attached to children, and they often decided to adopt kids, as fathers and mothers, and raise them like their own.

• Overprotective Hunter

Hunter is, in my opinion, the most sensitive and emotionally mature of the Bad Batch. He can read the feelings of others, especially those closest to him, so he always knew when something was wrong. Perhaps his enhanced senses have something to do with this.

He also has a tendency to be overprotective.

As a leader, he put the good of the squad before his own. I'm sure that running and hiding from the Empire, the constant pressure on his shoulders, was very tiring for him.

Hunter tried to protect Omega and his brothers the best way he could. That's why, the loss of any member of his family was a hard shoot in the heart for him. He sees it as a personal failure, as he failed his loved ones. He may start to think that Crosshair's words as true, that maybe he shouldn't be the leader, but he hasn't told anyone about his feelings and his own doubts.

But I think Echo knew... Echo knew that Hunter was worried and tired of the constant responsibility.

• Hunter and his senses

Hunter is a synesthete. This means that what he feels with one of his senses also affects the others. For example: he sees sounds, he can taste colors or numbers have colors for him. His synesthesia is a side effect of his enhanced senses.

Due to his heightened senses, Hunter also felt pain more intense than the other clones.

I still remember the moment Omega snuggled up to him after rescuing her when she was kidnapped by Cad Bane. Hunter winced in pain for a moment as his chest wound still was fresh. He had been shot with a blaster and almost get himself k!lled, and yet the most important thing to him was Omega. He ignored his own discomfort and focused fully on Omega, making sure nothing happened to his little girl. The expression of pain quickly turned into relief.

• Family

Some time after Omega joined the Bad Batch, they agreed on the role of family members:

Omega is their little sister, of course Hunter play the role of a father, while Echo is hailed as a mother. Our grumpy little bean muttered something about this being stupid idea at first, but in the end he liked being called mommy Echo.

Echo is a great addition to this crazy squad. He is the most experienced and can keep his family in line. It will never stop to amaze me how much good and love is hidden in the heart of a man who has never known a moment of comfort in his life and to whom no one has ever shown love. His physical and mental health were very bad after the events at Skako Minor. There was almost nothing left of the inexperienced Reg from the 501st Legion. Despite this, he will always remain my favorite character in all of Star Wars universe.

Wrecker is basically a second baby and needs to be looked after more than Omega, because if you let him out of your sight for a moment, he'll probably make a big mess.

Wrecker had the mind of a child trapped in the body of a large man. He is strong and could cause fear, but he have a soft heart. He cared for those closest to him, especially Omega. When his little sister was having a bad day and was sad, Wrecker was the first to make her laugh and even shared Lula, his beloved doll, with her.

I like to think that Tech and Crosshair are sort of twins (like Echo and Fives) they're a great duo and I miss their interaction so much. Tech, as the wise one, did not get in the way of the others, offering his advice when needed. Crosshair, on the other hand, although he seems cold and very distant, I think he would quickly like Omega and become a supportive, slightly sarcastic brother to her.

• Crosshair is not as cold as he looks

Crosshair hated being different, and called a freak from the very beggining. All his life he tried to blend in, to do his job well as a soldier, and as a member of the team. He didn't show it, but he was touched by other people's words about their group, different look, and specific abilities. That's why he hated Regs so much, he wanted to prove his worth to them. And also to himself.

When I saw Crosshair for the first time, I thought that he must have quite low self-esteem and become nervous in stressful situations. Whenever he took off his helmet, we saw him immediately reach for a toothpick. He felt the need to have something in his mouth to relieve the stress and tension in his body. He always seemed to me to be the type of perfectionist who pays great attention to detail and will practice until he achieves perfection in a specific field.

Despite his specific style, Crosshair wasn't as cold as he seemed. He really cared about Omega, and I'm sure that if they had the chance to spend more time together, Crosshair would like the girl and treat her like his little sister. He will destroy anyone who tries to harm Omega.

I also think that Crosshair secretly loves animals, especially cats. I imagined that it started with Wrecker once bring a white, homeless kitten to the Marauder. The animal started fawning at Crosshair's legs and refused to leave him even for a second. In the end, Cross liked it, petted him and cuddled with him, and even let him sleep in bed with him. Having a pet was a stress reliever for him. He named his kitten Alpine.

• The past still hurts, just as much as before

Echo often had terrible nightmares. We can see in the Bad Batch, that his PTSD was still very strong. Every contact with medical equipment could trigger a severe panic attack and anxiety. Fortunately, Omega was there to support him at the time. I'm always touched that even though Echo didn't know Omega back then, he trusted her enough that her presence really helped him come back to reality and understand that he was safe.

I'm sure that he had nightmares about being tortured and locked at Skako Minor, and also dreamed of Fives. I think because of this he may have even been afraid to fall asleep, and as a result he slept very little.

He missed his brother so much and blamed himself for not being there when he died. Echo was afraid of being locked up and deprived of help, so he tried to get involved as much as possible in the fight against the Empire. I think that was one of the main reasons he went back to Rex.

I also think that Echo and Tech had long conversations and spent a lot of time together while repairing or piloting the ship. They got along the best of the whole team and only with Tech, Echo felt relaxed enough to be able to talk about his feelings and problems he was struggling with. Tech never asked, like the overprotective Hunter, he just listened, and that was enough for Echo to discover a soul mate similar to his fallen brother, Fives.

I imagine one night Tech found out that Echo couldn't sleep and asked him what happened. Echo was so surprised that someone actually asked him how he felt that he didn't know what to say at first. He finally decided to open up and confess what was on his mind. Tech understood him and they became very close from then on. That's why Echo suffered so much after losing Tech. He felt as if he had lost half of his soul again.

I imagine that, Echo was the only one from the Bad Batch to still use Mando'a. He and Fives used to speak this language among themselves. Fives nicknamed him Ech'ika (little Echo). Now, Echo used to call Omega ad'ika. After Fives death, Echo sang an old anthem - Vode an (Brothers all) to honor the memory of his fallen brother. They had learned it when they were still cadets and used to sing it together before going into battle and all 501st knew the lyrics. This is one of my favorite headcanons.

I'm sure that Echo got a tattoo of a five in honor of Fives' death. In this way he always carried his brother with him and wanted to honor his memory.

• Nightmares

Omega took a while to get used to her new home after leaving Kamino. I imagine she often had nightmares that made her afraid to go to sleep alone. Hunter saw that and let the little girl sleep with him. He told her some stories about the planets they had visited on missions, and the bond between them grew stronger. He didn't admit it, but he had fond memories of those times together.

• Fives and his twin

If Fives survived, he would be the first to side with Rex to save Echo. Seeing his beloved brother alive, but connected to computer and badly hurt, he would be both happy and devastated at the same time. Fives would do absolutely anything to be reunited with his beloved twin, even if the whole Galaxy was against him and thought he's crazy.

After being rescued, Fives would make sure Echo was fewling comfortable and help him overcome his PTSD episodes. Then he would join the Bad Batch with Echo, because he didn't wanted him to feel different. Despite some problems, the Bad Batch accepted them as their own and they became very close, like family. I pictured them sitting around fire and how they shared stories from various missions together.

Then Fives saw that Echo was trully happy. He hugged him close, and when Echo asked what happened, Fives simply replied, "I'm just happy you're here, vod'ika. That's all."

• Astronomy lesson

Tech taught Omega astronomy. How to read sky maps and name constellations. They often sat together at night, watching the sky. Hunter would get a little angry when they stay up too late, fearing that both his brother and little sister would be sick, but his anger faded quickly when he saw the smile on Omega's face. Papa Hunter would do anything to make his little girl happy.

• Two captains

Howzer is Rex's twin, like Fives and Echo. They are giving the same vibe. They trained together from an early age, still as cadets, and then the war separated them. They are also very similar in character. Courageous and great leaders, they do not abandon their people until the very end. I feel they would get along pretty well.

• Brothers for life

Cody was like an older brother to Rex. His ore'vod. He trusted him the most of all the clones.They were inseparable from the beginning of the war and became very close after the Umbara ARC. I imagine Cody was comforting a devastated Rex. He knew perfectly well that under the mask of captain's determination there was a lot of pain and suffering after loss of many brothers. They were both good people who saw a lot of evil and death in their lives. They carried mourning in their hearts and finaly were able tolet go all their emotions. It was the first time Rex had let tears flow in his brother's arms. He felt loved and safe, and Cody didn't let him go for a long time. From this moment, they looked at each other a bit differently, carefully analyzing the other's emotions and making sure that everything was okay. Besides being strong and serious leaders, they were caring and loving brothers on the inside.

Also, I just know that they were having small competition. The 501st and 212th were competing against each other as to which legion/batalion was more effective in combat. General Kenobi and Anakin secretly supported this fun game.

• Suffering medic

Kix put a lot of pressure on himself as a medic. He wanted to save as many lives as possible and not let a single soldier die. He always fought to the very end, refusing to rest until the last man was healed. Each death of his brother was equally painful for him and he treated it as a personal failure.

Umbara left a huge mark on him. He failed. So many of his brothers had fallen, and he worked until he was breathless. Only when he was so exhausted, that he could no longer stand on his own, he agreed to take a break.

Kix sat alone against the wall, looking at his hands, and cried quietly. His hands and armor were covered with the blood of his brothers. Some of them were badly hurt, others didn't make it. Kix wished he were in their place right now and felt guilty. It was hard for him to be the one that survived.

He didn't know how long he sat like that, but at one moment he felt a gentle hand on his shoulder and a calm voice that he recognized immediately. It was Jesse. His best friend, his brother... Jesse told him that he did everything he could, that it wasn't his fault, but Kix wasn't convinced.

Then Jesse, seeing how bad his brother's condition was, that he started shaking, without thinking much, he wrapped his arms around Kix, pulling him into a tight hug. The medic did not protest and gave vent to his emotions and helplessness. It was the first time anyone was interested in his health. He had always been responsible for others and now someone was taking care of him. It felt nice, warm... Kix hugged back his brother and they both know that they feel the same way.

#clone wars #bad batch #headcanon #clones #captain rex #commander cody #hunter bad batch #tbb echo #tech bad batch #tbb crosshair #captain howzer #star wars #headcanons #family #brothers in arms

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blackbatcass · 2 days

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how would you rank bat-children from bruce's least favorite to favorite? also i'd say do the same for ollie's kids but he would kill himself if you made him do that (mia still his fav though)

oh my god you guys do want me dead💀

I'll be honest, i don't think there's much value to be found in 'rank-the-favorites' discussions. like the honest answer is 'it depends' and i just don't think it's productive. I do think that in most cases wrt relationships with bruce, dick is always going to come out on top. as i've said those two are just on a whole other level. they Know Each Other in a way that no one else will even come close to. I don't think it's controversial to posit that actually raising dick from childhood adds a layer to the relationship bruce has with him that really can't be replicated with anyone else. like...jason was with him for 2-3ish years as a tweenager, cass and tim were adopted in their mid teens. meanwhile bruce was effectively dick's parent from age 8 onwards.

I also think the timing is something that would be almost impossible to replicate. dick entered the picture very early into bruce's years as batman. bruce was the one solid thing in dick's life after his parents died. they were literally each other's crutches through all that emotional turmoil and became, for better or for worse, extremely codependent. all that to say, dick and bruce's relationship is just so crazy insane that pretty much nothing compares. he just has the advantage. you can't recreate the mind bogglingly deep connection 25 yo bruce had with 8yo dick grayson it just can't be done.

on the other hand, cass also has something with bruce that can't be replicated by anyone else: she is Exactly Fucking Like Him. she is his carbon copy. they Get each other's rock-solid convictions & moral code sooo deeply. fandom tends to use this as evidence to point towards cass being the favorite child, but like as greta mysterycitrus has eloquently said in the past, she is exactly like him (derogatory). bruce obviously loves cass deeply, that is his daughter, but I don't think having that relationship with her is always easy for him. her existence points out some uncomfortable truths about himself that he doesn't always want to confront. I mean... if you were to meet yourself as a seventeen year old it would probably be weird as FUCK lol. I especially think the fact that cass has killed someone really fucks with his head and forces him to reevaluate his own morals/worldview.

and like...I don't think he always treats cass fairly. we see it over and over again in bg 2000. he thinks he knows what's best for her because he sees himself in her, but the things he thinks are best for himself are Not Healthy to say the least. he intentionally keeps himself at a distance because he initially did not want that close, father-daughter relationship with her: it was strictly batman and batgirl. and he thought that's what she wanted/needed. but being so singlemindedly driven to a cause with no boundaries or normal life is not exactly the best way to go for a teenager. so I think those two had a lot to figure out when the dust settled.

I have much fewer thoughts about jason, tim and damian simply because they are not my blorbos like dick and cass are lmfao. i do think tim deserves a whole lot of credit for stepping in to save bruce and helping when bruce was at his lowest. like. that was obviously NOT easy lol. bruce and tim are interesting because bruce held himself back from being a father to tim for so long, when jack was still in the picture. but when it comes to a head and tim gets adopted, it's just...natural? like there was nothing else that could have happened there? I am honest to god not the biggest tim fan and have not read enough of his comics to talk intelligently on him any more than that lol. but I do know bruce loves him very very much and would be lost without him<3

jason....jason. I mean what is there to say lmfao. if your dead teenager turned up and started mass murdering what would you do. I think it's pretty obvious to say that losing jason was soul-crushing for bruce and permanently changed him as a person; we see those aftereffects in his relationships to people like tim, steph, and cass. jason will never stop being his son, and bruce will never stop loving him. but things will never be the same again. I don't think jason's actions post-resurrection will ever be justifiable or forgivable to bruce. like even if jason woke up one day like 'suddenly i'm cured of being a villain' I don't think he would be welcomed back with open arms or anything. jason is a murderer. he has killed like a fuckton of people in cold blood. that is something that will never be okay with bruce. grappling with loving your son versus your son being a murderer which is antithetical to everything you have spent decades building...that's rough buddy. is that controversial? idk i spend as little time as possible thinking about jason todd

I think it hurts bruce to look at damian sometimes because he just can't stop seeing talia. I think he loves damian deeply but it isn't always easy. that whole timing of final crisis was just so messy that they didn't get off to a super smooth start and had to do a lot of work rebuilding that relationship. I think damian has to reconcile his childhood hero worship of bruce with the actual very flawed man which isn't easy. it has been a LONG ass time since i've read damian's comics so that's about all I got.

IN CONCLUSION! This is very long and I absolutely did not answer your question sorry. but these are kind of my cliffnotes thoughts on each of the wayne kids' relationships with bruce.

and yeah if you tried to get ollie to rank his kids he would knock himself out with a boxing glove arrow

#ask #at the end of the day the answer for everyone is: It's Complicated! :D

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bookaddict24-7 · 5 months

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REVIEWS OF THE WEEK!

EVERY WEEK I WILL POST A VARIOUS REVIEWS I’VE WRITTEN SO FAR IN 2024. YOU CAN CHECK OUT MY GOODREADS FOR MORE UP-TO-DATE REVIEWS HERE.

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8. That Time I Got Drunk & Saved A Demon by Kimberly Lemming--⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️

First five-star read of 2024 🙏🏽

My friends have read this book and LOVED it, so I don't know why I'm lowkey surprised by how much I enjoyed this. I thought it would be a cheesy and slightly boring read (I didn't read the synopsis, okay? Sue me.) But what I got was SO far from that. Full of adventure, heart, sexual tension, and hilarious sass, I found myself laughing and paying rapt attention.

I loved the MC and her responses and commentary. I can see myself re-reading this just to highlight all of her sass. She's one of those contemporary characters set in a fantastical world that helps keep these kinds of stories light and fun. There's a scene where the demon just stares at her like "Okay, so we are definitely getting married" and I don't even blame him. This woman is a BADASS.

I loved their exploration of their world and how quick it was. Some readers might want more setting development, but honestly? I'm happy with how light and straightforward it was. I also really liked the side characters and how the demon just takes out anyone he wants, especially if they threaten the MC.

This was fun and everything I wish that other cozy fantasy book had given me. The new editions of the other two books have already been preordered 😌.

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9. The Thing About Jellyfish by Ali Benjamin--⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️

THE THING ABOUT JELLYFISH perfectly encompasses the tortures of middle school, the changing of the people we once called friends, and the effects of grief and how a child's mind may twist in ways that might help them comprehend the reality of death.

Ali Benjamin does a fantastic job of drawing out the history of her MC and her friend. The way they both changed and how the MC came to choosing to stay silent verbally for the majority of the book. Watching her trying to find reasons for why her friend has died was heartbreaking. I can't imagine being a parent in that situation, where you know you can't help your child comprehend the change in their reality.

Also, middle school is a cruel place for a lot of kids (hi, I was one of its victims) and the levels of evil some of these kids get up to is truly astounding. It broke me a little watching this friendship fall apart and this poor, young MC having to remember the last moment she saw her friend alive.

Sometimes things just happen and this whole book is, ultimately, a great source for children grieving. Life can be messy, confusing, and sometimes heartbreaking. Benjamin's novel is beautiful and this is another one of those middle grade books that I think adults AND kids should be reading.

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10. The Skull by Jon Klassen--⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️

If no one has read any other Jon Klassen books, then they're in for a surprise. If they have, then they'll recognize the eeriness of his writing.

You can't tell me that the hat books aren't creepy (there's a couple of pages where the big fish CLEARLY eats the little fish in the long grass). This guy is morbid and props to kids' authors who can write a book both for kids and adults.

The artwork was beautiful as always and the story was a very, very quick read. Perfect for those 5-7 year olds who want to try something themselves but don't mind a talking skeleton or skull.

This also got reeeeeeal dark at one point and I was just thinking of how some of the Gen Alpha kids are.

Highly recommend--especially for those littles who love a little spooky with their bedtime stories.

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11. The Fiancée Farce by Alexandria Bellefleur--⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️

Romantic, at times funny, spicy, and full of characters I wanted to punch in the dick, THE FIANCÉE FARCE was entertaining from beginning to end.

Much like many of my reading experiences, I jumped into this without knowing what I was getting myself into and imagine my joy and surprise when the trope of "marriage of convenience" popped up. I loved watching these characters fall in love with each other, and I loved seeing the thwart the horrible people in their lives. I also loved that one of the MCs has a massive love for reading (shown through her family's bookstore).

Was this the best romance I've ever read? Not really--it had some pretty obvious climactic points and some very over the top villains--but it held my attention and I fell for the couple. I loved that one helped the other find her confidence that had been stripped from her at a younger age.

One of the things that keeps me from giving this a five star rating is how...in a bubble this story feels? Like, we meet other characters as they serve their purpose (as is the usual) but if they're not in the scene, it's like they don't exist. There's one scene where one particular character doesn't speak and it's a pretty pivotal moment for the reader to pay extra attention because this is a huge hint about this character, but Bellefleur doesn't even hint at it? It's like that character is deleted from the scene. This is like taking the adage of "when you're with me, I only see you" and using it to the max.

Other than that, this was an entertaining and sexy story of proving assholes wrong and falling in love despite you believing that you're not deserving of love. Highly recommend for enough looking for a cute romance full of family drama and fake relationships!

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12. Ana On the Edge by A.J. Sass--⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️

Such a powerful story!

One of my favourite messages that ANA ON THE EDGE could potentially give young readers that it is OKAY to be in the process of trying to figure out who you are, but also that it's okay to not have all of the answers at once.

We see the MC struggle with their identity and their relationships throughout the whole book, especially because their world has always seemingly had such clear cut gender norms (Ice skating is a huge part of her world). I can't even imagine trying to find who you are when everyone around you is imposing who they think you are on you.

I also enjoyed that we got to see some of the more pivotal relationships in the MCs life and that messy in-between with friendships when big changes happen--like sudden schedule changes, or new friendships blossom. While this book tackled pretty big topics, I liked that its core it was still truly an MGLit book that explored the importance of friendships and keeping the good ones alive (even when life gets a bit hectic.)

Finally, I adored the relationship between the MC and their mom. I loved that they were a team and even though it took a little bit of time, they had some good communication between the two of them. There were some heartwarming moments and I loved seeing them understand each other better as the story progressed.

I think this is another great LGBTQ+ book to have in my back pocket for when I need to recommend great Queer books to readers!

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13. Mindy Kim & the Birthday Puppy by Lyla Lee and Dung Ho Hanh (Illustrations)--⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️

It's been a while since I picked up the last MINDY KIM book but this was just as cute as I remember the last two books being. There were some moments that made me tear up a little, but I'm just an emotional mess sometimes.

I loved seeing Mindy come into her own with her brand new puppy. A couple of my best friends have a puppy and as I read Mindy's adventures (or misadventures), I thought of how difficult it was for my friends to parent a brand new puppy. This is a kid's book, so I'm not surprised Mindy was able to be so successful so quickly, but in reality, puppies are a lot more work than what was shown here. BUT this didn't take away from the story at all! I love that this could be a really great resource for littles who want a puppy, but need a further understanding of the responsibilities behind it.

And much like the last two books, there were some important topics explored here: how families might look, grief, multicultural traditions, and responsibilities one might take on.

Another great addition to the series and I'll hopefully be reading the next one soon!

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14. Suddenly by Isabelle Autissier--⭐️⭐️.5

I had a lot of expectations for SUDDENLY by Isabelle Autissier, but we all know expectations are sometimes the death knell of a story. The cover enticed me, the synopsis further pulled me in, but the clunky translation full of thesaurus-level words and the random time-jump totally took me out of the story.

Normally, I DNF books that aren't working for me because hi, I have a massive TBR to get through before I die. But I will give Autissier this: she wrote a very intriguing beginning to her book. I wanted to see these characters survive and thrive in their new environment. A morbid sense of intrigue had me continuing the story as they mercilessly killed creatures I never thought someone could kill so coldly, and as they had massive introspection about their super privileged lives (and their first world ignorance about their importance in the grand scheme of things.)

These two characters were severely unlikable, but I couldn't help but get attached. I felt such a mixed bag of emotions towards the FMC and when the time jump happened, I felt further disconnected from not just her, but the story as a whole.

I'll be blunt: the second part of the book (or more like 3/4 way through the book) ruined this for me. I understand the importance of seeing the story of the "after" but I hated it. I think it went from being an interesting exploration of survival and humanity to the superficial experience of society marking you as a hero for surviving. I get that this is also the point: the further examination of how society is in (the character's) reality vs. the truths they realized about the societies they had grown in and how wholly unprepared they were for the battlefield of survival. I get that, but I still disliked it. From there, I felt like the story dragged and my attention wavered even more.

And don't get me started on the ending--the page I thought was going to be the last page was a better last page than the actual last page.

Overall, I liked the first half of the book. Despite the dark aspects, the gut churning choices, and the heartbreaking conclusion, I enjoyed that part. The second part of the book brought the whole story down for me.

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15. Fake Dates & Mooncakes by Sher Lee--⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️

FAKE DATES AND MOONCAKES was a pretty straightforward and easy read, but listen, it was FUN. This felt like I was experiencing a K-Drama or C-Drama. It was such a good time--the dramatic twists, the threats against the middle class guy dating the rich guy, and the CRAZY RICH ASIANS-like trip and event? Freaking amazing. LOL the love interest literally waits for the MC outside of his school standing by his Ferrari. This is juicy Asian-drama level stuff and I ate. it. up.

The romance was adorable and sweet and I won't lie, I sometimes forgot these were teenagers--not because of anything gross, but because these two were so mature in their actions and how they interacted with each other.

The familial relationships were so sweet and I loved how they clearly had each others' best interests in mind whenever something pivotal happened. They were adorable and I loved them.

Reading this was like experiencing some of my favourite Asian dramas again, with a dash of CRAZY RICH ASIANS. It wasn't an earth-shattering read, but five stars for solely being entertaining and making me smile with giddiness. If you want a cute gay story with some truly cute moments, then you might like this--especially as a read for when the warmer weather finally returns!

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Have you read any of these books? Would you recommend them?

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Happy reading!

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sazzujazzu · 1 month

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Hello, as the days count down and the Bad Batch finale draws closer, may I show to the fine folks of tumblr my first Star Wars OC in 20 years, created thanks to this show? 😃

Too bad, I'm showing them anyway 😊 somberly chilling while listening to their bestie talk.

Please excuse the poor background (I got lazy) and half-finished Tech (I got sad)

there's, uh, a big mess of words under the image because I wanted to put into words the importance this show has for me, and I am bad at doing so.

I want to get some thoughts off my chest, because I have no one in my day-to-day life who cares about the animated Star Wars shows, and especially the Bad Batch. (well, other than my mom, but I don't want to bore her with my rambling too much. she already banned star wars from me once, i won't let that happen again lol)

I can't stop thinking how much I don't want Bad Batch to end.

This show has been so dear to me. I can't remember the last time I've loved something this much.

Before the second season started, I had an artistic block that had lasted way too long. Anything I drew or wrote, mostly turned out a horrible mess after staring at a blank page for hours and hours, if I ever managed to create anything at all. For someone who tends to draw whenever their hands aren't otherwise busy (aka all the damn time), such a block weighed down on my mental health.

Well, then season two happened, and full-on gave me back my love for Star Wars, a love that had somewhat gone out over the last few years. Then, Plan 99 happened, and broke me because again my favorite character "died" (I'm in team Tech lives until I draw my last breath or until proven correct. That chocolate-eyed cutie-pie is alive nothing will convince me otherwise). Pretty much after finishing the episode and staring at a wall for another 30 minutes, I said "nope" and began writing.

I wrote for hours. I believe it's been well over a decade since I last wrote fanfiction, but here I was, creating a Star Wars oc, something I'd last done as a ten-year-old. And now, roughly a year later, I think I've written over a hundred pages of (very self-indulgent) fanfiction with the Batch, and with my oc that I've come to love.

And drawing, oh boy, have I been drawing!

(... Sure, I've mostly been drawing Tech, over and over again, to a point I once actually considered lying and saying "yeah that's my boyfriend haha!" to a man at my job last summer, when asked who it was that I was drawing for maybe fifth day in a row 😂 likely would've been a more acceptable excuse for someone my age. But, I mean... I just really love drawing him, not only because he is my favorite character of maybe all time, but because he is just so fun to draw! And most of all, at least I draw again!)

And it is all thanks to this wonderful show about a bunch of defective and effective copy-paste boys and their sister.

It's probably something many say, but I've always felt like a bit of an outsider. I've felt like I have no place; when I was a kid, my interests were very different from the other kids of [gender assigned at birth], and trying to play with them while inserting my own interests into the games, often didn't go so well. I was... kind of an odd child (although now, older and questionably wiser, knowing that I might actually be autistic, many things make more sense now. me kind of discovering this about myself is also partially thanks to Bad Batch)

Also, growing up trans/non-binary, while not even knowing what that is or having a word for it, didn't really do much to help with the feeling of "I'm different and an outsider because of it". Perhaps it was one more reason I fell in love with Clone Force 99, because I could see some of myself in them. Being different from the "regs".

I love this show, and these fictional people have become my family, and I am not ready to say goodbye to them.

Alright, weird pile of thoughts over. In case someone read all this, uh... thanks 😊

#i'm nervously rambling into the void #the bad batch #the bad batch fanart #star wars oc #jedi oc

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chairteeth · 4 months

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Taking a closer look at memoriae

As per blog brand, this is about TouNemu again. I'm gonna be analyzing and pointing out a handful of things about Touka and Nemu's personal memoriae as well as their flower field memoriae. I ended up going on a biiiit of a ramble about the hospital trauma again which makes the Touka section look longer than it is, since the hospital trauma applies to both. Welp, enjoy!

The only memoriae of theirs where they aren't together are their personals, the obligatory flower fields, and one on each side which had reasons outside of their control that kept them apart, btw. Which is just. Yeah, talk about being joined at the hip. I won't be doing the dual unit's personal because it's kinda bland honestly? As in the text doesn't really give us much to talk about or even gush about, it's just a literal description of what happens in Christmas String. I will however note that it features a book (diary) like Nemu's personal, but has the exact effect of Touka's personal. We will also be looking at both NA translations and fan translations of memo descriptions for picking apart purposes (and because I do not trust NA whatsoever).

SO! A Freedom for Just Me (NA: My Own Freedom) is Touka's personal memoria and the description reads as follows

The earth orbits the sun? That's a lie. The world is a big place? That's a lie. Seeing it on TV, on the internet, how can you be so sure? The only things I know are true? That the starry sky, and the things around me keep spinning. (NA)

It's a lie that the earth orbits the sun. It's a lie that the world is this big. I don't know if what I see on TV or the internet is true, but the starry sky is spinning. It revolves around me. This is the only thing that's true.

NA chose a very funny way of translating that last thing and I think it makes more sense if you take the JP version, because well the sky and things in it do "move" from our perspective (we are the ones moving mostly but shh). Nitpicking aside, let me dig into This Thing.

Firstly the image itself is VERY indicative of how Touka feels. Hospital bed, with an IV included, the night sky, and that dome thing that looks an awful lot like a cage. Yk like the ones she also has everywhere in her room! The title of the memoria is also very telling, and I think people often forget just how tightly tied Touka is to the idea of freedom and the feeling of being trapped (in a gilded cage but a cage nonetheless). This is part of why she doesn't usually listen to others, too. Let me take a look at the visual elements before the text, it'll tie together nicely.

Going element by element... There's the hospital bed and IV. That's a very specific combination, and part of the "cage" Touka feels trapped in, the IVs like chains on her body. Her illness has probably had her bedridden and hooked up to a bunch of machinery before, we saw a glimpse of that sort of thing from Ui in the anime. And really what else to do but to look up to the sky and envy the stars, who are free and bright and real? Something you can see.

There's this whole thing about being an inpatient at a hospital, especially a child, that I've mentioned but have never really elaborated on I think, which is the part where things stop feeling real and you yourself stop feeling real, stop feeling like a person. I've heard about it from child inpatients when volunteering at hospitals and it can be a little complicated to understand for people who've never been in a similar situation. I'm not sure how familiar other folks are with the routine of a child inpatient, because that's a big part of what causes this. The hospital trio have mentioned it offhandedly before (I believe it was Ui who may have mentioned it while they were making Sakurako?) but:

It's grueling for the mind of a child to live in a place that is so... white, largely impersonal, you're never really always tended to as children need to be (the nurses will do their best but there is only so much you can do), you often aren't allowed to go outside or do a lot of the things you want to do, even inside, plus dietary restrictions can lead to Not Great relationships with food (or apathy towards it) whether during the extended hospital stay or after. The routine is also No Good Very Bad for them because while routine is helpful for mental development in a way, the "rules" and routines established at home still leave room for variety in a child's day, and normally they're always learning new things and gathering new experiences. The learning new things does apply to Ui, however not so much to Touka and Nemu, and the new experiences gathered are. Um. Well. None, for the most part, because that's kinda the point of a hospital—to be a controlled environment, for the safety of the patients. But really, when they say their routine is something along the lines of "wake up, maybe go to school (the hospital class) if you feel well enough, go to bed"... they mean it. They do nothing else. And not all kids are lucky enough to be in a hospital that prepares special events or activities for them, and even then sometimes those are not enough. They can't replace freedom.

There's a special kind of boredom and seclusion that sets in after a while. You need to understand, these are children. Not even teenager-children, children (for however long they were hospitalized, which is implied to have been a long time, at minimum three years if the anime is accurate to that, but I believe they were there even longer than that solely based on context clues). Kids are not adults. Kids do not have the experience that adults or even teens do. Kids don't know the world around them yet. It can get to a point where they don't even remember anything before the hospital, and see, that becomes really surreal really fast. I'm not sure how to explain this part but the child very easily can start to feel completely disconnected from "the outside" and their world becomes very very tiny. This is also done in part to protect themselves, because it hurts. It hurts a lot to know you're not allowed to do and experience so many things, while every other kid is, especially if you're terminal and are convinced you won't get better. It is implied that at least Touka and Nemu were of that school of thought, which is not great. So it's common, especially for neurodivergent kids (like TouNemu), to dissociate HEAVILY. The amount of sensory deprivation and understimulation in hospitals is insane. You see how Nemu in her quotes is constantly talking about taking in the sounds and colors? Yeah, this is why. Touka does much of the same, but doesn't directly talk about it. Now add onto the mental and sensory stimulation issues the fact that these two are child prodigies and you have yourself a recipe for Way Way Worse Than Usual! That's why the internet isn't quite enough. Because while adults and non-inpatients have the experience and firsthand knowledge of the world around them, these kids don't. So even if you read article after article and watch video after video, all they are to you is 1s and 0s. Text/images on a screen. Not real. Touka states it almost explicitly, and Nemu… well I could go on about the usage of literature to cope. It's not your world, you don't recognize it as yours (resentment goes brrr).

ANYWAY back to the Touka personal! So, Touka feels chained to that bed. Next up is a related element! That dome thingy above the bed. A lot like a cage, I'd say it looks a lot like the upper half of a hanging birdcage with the... thing you hang it from removed.

With the perch being the bed. This really is the exact same type of cage she has in her room... and we're talking about a character with a bird doppel... SPEAKING of birds, these kinds of cages are proven to be absolutely terrible for them (any cage that is too small for an animal is absolutely terrible for them), due to how cramped they are (notice Touka also calls her world narrow and cramped). If a bird was never let out of its cage and grew up for years inside that cage... well assuming the hypothetical bird has the mental capacity of the child we're talking about, its outlook would not be much different from Touka's. It may also represent the hospital as a controlled environment. Those who are "bigger" and "know better" control what's inside the cage, what happens to the being held inside, and care for the being's basic needs (this can also relate to diet things). Much like child inpatients, the mental stimulation of pet birds is often ignored, whether because the owner doesn't care or because they're ignorant.

Then, lastly, the night sky and a shooting star/comet (I'm gonna assume it's a comet?). The sky is universal, everywhere in the world anyone can look up and we all see the same sky. For a kid in Touka's position, the night sky can feel much closer and more real than any other thing beyond the white walls. Filled with glittering jewels that turn out to be not only pretty but fascinating, with incredibly variety and mounting complexity the more you look into the field, and constellations, asterisms, comets, odd stars and planets, long etcetera. The cosmos is an infinite expanse, the gift that keeps on giving, it gives and it gives without end, and it never takes, never asks for anything, never states a price beyond Touka's time (which, arguably, is one's most precious gift to give, yes something something the amount of time TouNemu spend together). In this way, outer space is similar to Nemu in Touka's eyes (she connects these dots way later down the line, even later than she connects the "oh, space to me is what literature/writing is to Nemu" dots). You can see why Touka may become hyperattached to the whole outer space thing and why it may mean so much to her (possible autistic special interests aside).

The girl was withering away, feeling like life was not worth the pain and suffering she had to endure from her illness and the consequences of it (such as the inpatient status), and the stars gave her something to reach for, something tangible, something she could know and know for good. It doesn't change too fast to keep up with, it doesn't feel like it will ever leave her behind, it doesn't take anything from her, and it's ever-present. The text corroborates my words, essentially, so I don't think I have to go into how the text applies to Touka. The starry sky is all around her, and she knows it well. Like a mantle of comfort and reassurance. I don't think I have to spell out why Touka is so linked to freedom and why she values it so much, do I? Also the part about defying authority and being all, unyieldy about things.

Anyway we are going to do Touka's flower field memoria next, then we'll go for Nemu's personal and flower field. I'm not even gonna use the NA title for this one, because the JP one is better: A Longing for the Beyond.

The end of the universe brings the dark and vast eternal world of time to my tiny little cramped world. The end of the universe also creates the flow of time. I don't care if my brain cells overheat, I want to know everything. I will cherish what I learn, and it will make me a kinder person. (NA)

“My small and narrow world and the dark and long eternity of time. It is the end of space that has expanded the world. It's the end of the sky who made time flow by. I don't care if my brain cells overheat, I want to know everything. It will become a nice possession for me. That’s how I can become kind.”

So okay this one, being a flower field memoria, does not have much to it visually, however the title and text are interesting. The part about longing, I think I've covered somewhat in the previous memoria's analysis. Plus Touka and Nemu are both INCREDIBLY yearny. They pine and long and yearn so much, largely because they have so much love to give, they love so intensely and that is often a feature of those who have been deprived of something they desperately needed/craved for a good chunk of their childhoods. But we will discuss that AT LENGTH with Nemu's personal don't you worry. I have covered a good amount of the text for this one honestly (I am pointing at Touka calling her world tiny and cramped and referring to the cosmos as the thing that widened her horizons and expanded her perception of reality, it's vital to have anchors to prevent severe episodes of dissociation), so let me hone in on two-three things.

"I don't care if my brain cells overheat, I want to know everything."

This line can be easily glossed over as oh Touka's doing the sciency word thing again, but Hey, Let The Child Express Herself And Listen. This is part of the very foundation of what I refer to as her gladiator behavior. Yk every time she and Nemu show dangerous levels of curiosity and fascination with things, and that curiosity alone is enough for them to take on impossible challenges regardless of risk, for no real reward (or no guaranteed one) besides victory? Yep, that goes all the way back to this, and there is a root to that behavior, that attitude. It's a little like living your entire life with clipped wings, and then one day, something (the stars in this case) changes your life completely. You're able to glide and fly for the first time since you can remember. It's only natural that you'd want to fly higher and higher, experience more of that no matter how many times you fall or how bad the bruise is. If you frame it a certain way, it's the tale of Icarus all over again. Wiiiiith the difference being that Touka was better at wing construction and she blew up her wings on purpose to successfully propel herself to the stars (Chapter 8 my fucking beloved). Her ego kind of connects to this in a certain way too. Since, well, she connects more to the night sky, above everything on the ground. She stands closest to the stars, therefore on a pillar raised above the rest. This is only a very small part of the ego topic though, it has many contributing factors. Also have you ever noticed that Nemu is just like the night, just like the stars. Quiet, subtle, with its complexity glossed over by the average person until you take the time and care to look closer- cough.

The part about cherishing what she learns is also very true for Touka, you'll notice she greatly values knowledge as well as learning, but see how the JP refers to it as a possession. I feel like that applies to space specifically and how deeply important and personal her bond with it was back when she was younger. As we saw in her quotes, she's much more willing to share now than she used to be, which is a sign of growth (also the fact that Nemu of all people, who hates and feels guilty for asking basically anything, feels confident and sure enough to casually ask Touka about something like space that used to be a landmine back in the hospital… Also Has Meaning, but I am trying not to gush too much here). And now I'm trying to figure out how to tackle the last line about becoming kind. I think I should fetch something I said on Discord while going through TouNemu content in my brainrot containment zone:

And then I said:

she's trying, she wants to help, she wants to be good. There are multiple reasons she thinks she can't though

really Touka's thing with kindness reminds me of this one episode of Supernanny where one of the little boys in the household was super troublesome and had ADHD, and after a tantrum he ran off to his bedroom and curled up on his bed. Supernanny Jo Frost very softly asked him if she could come in, and if she could come closer/sit on his bed, comforted him a little, and asked him about if he wanted to be good. The poor little boy nodded and kept saying he wants to be good with a shaky voice while sobbing, and you could just tell that he was trying his best but didn't feel he could be good

Touka wants to be kind. She wants to be nice. She just doesn't know how and believes that because it doesn't come in her "how to human" manual, she can't. She thinks if she keeps learning, if she keeps hoarding more and more knowledge, then eventually, surely, she'll figure out how to be kind.

... I talked so much about the personal memo that I don't have as much to say for this one- unless I talk about TouNemu and possessiveness that is. Because they do have a fun possessive streak! Over both things and people! But I will do that another day. For now, onto Nemu's personal memoria and flower field memoria!

An Unobtainable Thing (NA: Beyond My Reach) is hella depressing to talk about so buckle up! I spent a while picking at the JP translation. Description reads as follows:

What was I hoping for? What did I want? A newly released novel? An out-of-print book that sounded interesting? New clothes for a change of image? No, no, no. Those are all wrong. I just want to be told I'm loved. It's so close and yet so far. That is all I want. (NA)

What was it that I was looking for? What did I want? A novel that had just been released? An out-of-print book I was really interested in? New clothes to change my image? No, no, no, none of the above. I just want to hear the words that love me, the closest and farthest. That's all I want.

Nemu is more self aware than Touka is. Despite the fact that she suppresses that and her own feelings as hard as humanly possible which leads to… all of her no good very bad thought patterns basically. The visual elements of this memoria are a bit harder to pin down than Touka's because there's just, More Stuff In It™️ in terms of objects. I feel like the text here is much easier to go through than the visuals? But the visuals do a good job supporting the text anyway. Surrounded by piles upon piles of books, there's a notebook I assume for writing or notes, and the ground below is also written on. I'm not sure what the closed and piled vs open and laid out books could mean. Then there's the folded pajamas (basically hospital clothes) and the two figures in the distance, one taller one shorter, which you can assume are meant to be Nemu and her mom, or worse, Nemu's mom and brother. Which is depressing! You can interpret this as Nemu really really hoping her mom would take her back home, or you can interpret the clothes as the thing that represents herself and the piled books as a sort of fortress or shelter, while the two figures inevitably walk away and she is unable to reach them (seriously those piled books look an AWFUL LOT like a fortress, something something defense mechanism). As somebody else in my Discord containment zone said, the clothes, the books, etc are the things that Nemu does have, things she can acquire, while the thing she really wants, that being her family, are so far away as to be unreachable. The writing on the ground leads into the distance toward them, perhaps symbolizing her writing as her reaching out to what she really wants in the only way she knows how. Not to mention that the light shining through the clouds illuminating them from the background gives it a heavenly quality, pointing to her awareness that she will not live much longer and that the love she craves is what she believes is heaven.

As for the text though, I've gone on and on endlessly about Nemu's severe issues but honestly her personal memo is very blatant about the core of the problem, that being… that she just wants to be loved. It's that simple. Which I think really is the reason she agrees to go kaboom with Touka despite all of her talk of leaving a legacy and explicitly saying she doesn't want people to forget her. Since love is deep down all she's ever truly wanted (not wanting people to forget her, wanting to leave a mark, etc, are all things that in her case stem from not feeling loved)… well, once she sees that she finally has that, she doesn't really care about everything else that much.

The more enigmatic one might be the flower field memoria ngl because that one is weird for multiple reasons. Nemu, oddly enough, talks about her heart like three times or more throughout all of the content she appears in, which isn't much but it's odd that she's done it that many times. Like the religious undertones, I'd like to figure out what exactly she means by "my heart" but I think she just means her mind.

See Nemu's flower field memoria is Peace to this Battered, Dead Land (NA: Tranquility in a Wasteland), and it's already odd because it's the only flower field where it's nighttime and also the only one where we see "direct magic" being used? Iirc at least. The second thing isn't that weird but the first feels weirdly deliberate to me and I've been wondering about it for a long time.

Dramatically, it reads like this:

"Through written sentences, an interwoven world, or filled-in spaces, heartfelt stories flow quietly, gently, peacefully, and sometimes wild and frenetic, into the cracked earth of the wasteland, gradually filling up in a transient pool, to then become unique. If even one thread has a color, my heart will be at peace." (NA)

Let's write sentences, let's weave a world, and if the gaps are filled, the story will flow. Quietly, slowly, calmly, sometimes violently and madly, the story filled with emotions flows through the cracks in the dry land, gradually filling them and providing a tentative moisture. After that, all you have to do is get your personality. If you could give me even just one thread of color, my heart would be calm.

This one is very very fucked up if you consider one of the ways to interpret it. It's a metaphor for herself. She's the dry land. The cracks are the areas of herself that are "broken" or "damaged" (haha trauma), the hurt. She refers to her own life as a story in Arc 1 too, so this isn't a stretch. You can interpret this optimistically or pessimistically. The optimistic approach says that she's healing, the pessimistic approach says that she's essentially forcing things in there to appear put together and not be seen as problematic, bothersome, damaged goods, etc. It could even be both! It's interesting that it mentions quiet/slow/calm/gentle/peaceful and then also wild/frenetic/violent/mad, which I feel may be showing two sides of her (the calm Nemu we normally see and The Part Deep Down That Is Really Angry And Would Like To Go Apeshit). I mean there are many reasons that the way I portray Nemu in AUs can sometimes (often) be violent. I have the sadism from canon and more than enough evidence to argue repressed feelings, which, even if the feeling she's repressing isn't anger (which by all means it would be, other than sorrow and pain ofc), repressing it would lead to frustration which easily leads into anger. I think she has these issues in canon too, she just managed to not explode. Well, metaphorically.

Anyway so, where do I begin with Nemu's boatload of issues that these two memoriae just kinda graze lightly... I've talked a lot about it but usually if you look it is very possible that you will find More, which I'm sure is great for Nemu's self aware introspective philosophical author brain /s. However, a LOT of what I've said about Touka regarding a hospital stay applies to Nemu as well, and in some senses even more so, since Nemu is the type to overthink things when she's by herself (Touka also overthinks but in a different way, and she normally doesn't think about People™. Normally) but it might be interesting to dig into the early Ui era for this. By early Ui I mean after TouNemu met Ui but before they came to share a room and usually before the Christmas party (yk the one). The room sharing may have simply been a princess whim for Touka, but for Nemu, it may just have been life-saving. Or to be less dramatic, sanity-saving. Sort of. Because she's even said it before that she felt lonely. Imagine how much worse the isolation had been for her in a solo room. Heck one of my headcanons (based on her comments about and appreciation of "lively" people and places) is that she Does Not Like complete silence, or at least not when she's not very close to someone, which by definition can never be complete silence because you Will hear their breathing, them being alive and doing things usually, all that.

I said nurses try their best to take care of child inpatients. But nurses, even those who specialize in kids, have a lot on their plate. And the kids that take priority are the smallest ones. And also well usually they cannot really account for everything. Plus, in Japan I get the feeling things may not be as… warm if that makes sense. That is to say I would like to know when was the last time early Ui era Nemu got a hug. It may sound silly, but physical affection is actually really really important to children's development and can be particularly good at soothing them emotionally, similarly to adults but magnified.

However Nemu has this very funny habit (/s) of suppressing her emotions and not ever telling anyone when she feels hurt or lonely or anything of the sort unless she is confronted on it or absolutely has to. So there would have been no comforting chats with nurses nor any sort of tactile comfort (yes tactile comfort is a thing). Great going Nemu. If Nemu fell into a well she would wait there and not call for help so as to not inconvenience anyone else, it's That Bad. Will to live? What's that? (She even mentions the lack of a will to live when they're making Sakurako in the hospital and you can just see Iroha going D: about it). This is a common problem in hospital inpatients, particularly children, and it is rather disturbing/sad actually to hear a child placing so little value in their own life and even less worth in themselves as a person. I just have to point at Nemu's quotes and how often she's like "are you Sure you want to talk to me…?" "I'm boring, don't waste your precious time on me" etc. G i r l... So really I imagine the only highlight in early Ui era Nemu's day was literally Ui and Touka, and with her being a night owl and chronic overthinker, I cannot imagine the excruciating agony of everything after lights out. Yk. After lights out. When everything is dark and you are Completely Alone in your room.

Anyway Nemu is severely touch starved and affection starved please give her a hug. Touka that is your job. Oh though I guess they do hold hands quite a lot? But. Hug. Big close long hug. Nemu may or may not bawl if hugged that way and spoken to softly with loving words of affirmation. Gay babies.

#magia record #nishiposting #essay #?? I guess?#nemu hiiragi #touka satomi

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hanasnx · 4 months

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I don’t really read smut anymore if I can help it unless it’s part of a story, not the point of a story, especially when it’s about Hayden Christensen the person, not one of his characters.

You see, I think he does look at stuff about him. Especially when he was researching everything he could find about Star Wars. He stated how he found interviews and fan art. I find it very hard to believe he didn’t read a fic or two about his character. There’s some amazing content, and as cringey as this site can be, I think it’s the perfect type of social media for him.

Tumblr is a place that you can geek out over your interests and say things, you cannot responsibly express in the adult world. It’s a place you can be proud that hundreds or even thousands of people, love your epic 100k plus word FanFiction you spend most of your free time on, without having to admit you prefer writing, over going to some smelly club.

I also really appreciate how little anybody’s opinion on here, actually matters in the big picture. You and some of your mutuals are guilty of this, but I just attribute it to your age. Nothing can effect you on here, so do what you please and no one is the wiser.

Except, when I think of Hayden Christensen on here looking at stuff, I can’t help but wonder how a self proclaimed shy introvert, might feel reading about things with his actual name. He might get sick to his stomach reading about himself fictionally making a controversially young fan, bleed from his rough sexual treatment. Even if she’s into it. I think because of how introverted and private he is, and the fact everyone in Hollywood thinks he’s a bit odd, add to that the things Rachel says about her past sex life, without naming him, but giving her age so everyone knows who it must have been, have effected him negatively.

When he was younger, several costars pre-Rachel stated how serious and confident he was. Even Rachel said how she admired how sure of himself he was. He was photographed at many social events, celebrating birthdays, going to the playboy mansion, hosting parties in Vegas nightclubs, racing his cars, going to F1, and Cannes, and even the MET Gala. He dated Reena Hammer, who was practically the British Paris Hilton of socialites. He’s also a world renowned model. His interviews when he was earlier in his career, he was playful and almost arrogant in some, very flirty.

At first I thought his aversion to people came from the Star Wars toxic fandom hate he received for the prequels but if you look at when some interviews and interactions with people occurred, they were at or after, peak hate era.

There’s one in Cannes where he shooshes the media and gives them a dirty look while up on the podium. Another time he’s at an award show getting heckled and fired right back at them. There’s that interview where he says he wanted to be in Star Wars ever since he was a baby, that oozes confidence.

Then he got traumatized by a combo of fellow celebs, fans being hateful or saying nothing matters but his looks, and the loss of his anonymity. He has stated how cringe it was to see his face on everything from chips, to cereal, to chicken noodle soup, magazines about him, more often than not, without his permission.

I don’t want to villianize Rachel Bilson, because I think she is just an empty headed, cute little nepo brat, that should be taken about as seriously as the movie Virgin Territory. She was in a wreck, in her teens and got a head injury so she has a hard time with long term memory. How it would be dating someone that forgets everything with time, cannot be great for your self esteem. Add to that her talking about how paranoid and depressed he gets, and publicly stated he has severe anxiety can’t help his anxiety. Then to mail that coffin shut, she spreads rumors he cheated with someone as embarrassing as Emma Roberts, said he never could make her cum, said her break up with Bill Hader was more difficult than child birth, has been linked to a bunch of men that she says she now has no issues orgasming with partners, and she constantly brings him up on her podcast that I think 75% of her listeners, listen in hopes she’ll say something about Hayden.

Living with social anxiety, brought on by trauma and over exposure, seems like it’d be something close to torture, never knowing what she will reveal about you next. Also how she talks about Briar all the time, even going so far as taking calls from her school, on the air has to make him feel very helpless.

I do appreciate one of your recent answers about how he doesn’t even know what sexy stuff he might be into, and while I hope he does find someone that makes him feel safe and secure, I think it’s better to stick to his characters. It’s not difficult to just make him AJ, or James, or even Jacob, if you’re sick of using anakin.

We should also be conscious that Briar is reaching the age where she is going to be looking up her parents. It’s just a fact. And as a fan of Hayden, you can’t just not give a shit about Briar. The man seems to love her more than anything, and we love him. Robin Williams suffered from similar mental health issues as Hayden does, and no one knows what pushed him over the edge, but I sure as shit don’t want to contribute to him having a breakdown.

And yes, I wrote a very sexual series about a celeb using their name before I realized how hurtful that had the potential to be. I went back and saved them all before deleting them all on here, and then I edited them all to be one of that celebs characters, and it actually did even better. Maybe one day I’ll share that with you.

I hope you don’t take this as an insult or me judging you at all. I think you are a very skilled writer with an amazing imagination. I enjoy dark fanfiction, and you have the ability to build worlds, and describe emotion that is quite rare. I used to write a lot more, and I always knew that smut equals instant gratification. Smut gets most of the attention, and some of them I wrote have thousands of notes, while the one I worked the hardest on, and am most proud of, has like 30. It’s heart wrenching and makes people cry though, and most don’t like to be emotionally wrecked by a fic.

You don’t have to post this if you don’t want to, but of course it’s yours now. I need to be anonymous with this because my main blog is very wholesome and pure, while my fanfiction writing is on a sub account I guess you’d call it off my main, and so is my Hayden fan account. We have interacted somewhat through posts you’ve liked and commented on.

well it’s a good thing that i don’t tag any of this with just his name and instead tag it with “hayden christensen smut” and “hayden christensen x reader” so that people don’t just come across it who are looking him up. you can filter those tags and my user too or if you’d like to give me your user privately i can block you. i don’t rly know what you were trying to do here because i never opened this discussion up and never planned to

#indy shoots the shit #thanks for the msg!!#anon

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dan-from-onami · 6 months

Text

Had some time to try and figure out how to put my thoughts into words but the only real words that came out were AAAAAA!

So Doctor Who's The Giggle was pretty great actually. Neil Patrick Harris absolutely kills it and David Tennant, Catherine Tate, and of course everyone else to did amazing. It was a really fun episode with a conclusion I honestly really loved.

Some spoiler talk below:

I really wasn't sure in the moment what I felt about bi-generation but I immediately shook that off because it meant more 14 content and honestly David and Ncuti had such amazing chemistry I'm sad this is the only time (for now) that they've interacted. 14's whole existence feels like a book end to the experiences of the 13th Doctor and I feel like its recontextualised stuff like the Flux and the Timeless Child. We actually have some consequences for it and we can see how its effected the Doctor to a point that they regenerated into an old face just so they could go to Donna for help recovering from everything they've been through while 15 gets to saunter off into time and space. I love that, I think that's the perfect bookend for everything we've seen from Doctor Who from 2005 to 2022. They went through a lot in those years, and 14 gets to sit down and recover while the far healthier 15 is off doing Doctor stuff.

I only have a few points of criticism. The first being that this should have absolutely been a two parter. It probably would have cost us Wild Blue Yonder (which is my favourite out of the 60th anniversary trilogy) but there was so much crammed into this episode and while it didn't feel bloated I think some stuff should have been left to simmer a little longer. It's what I thought was going to initially happen. I was convinced when The Star Beast introduced solar-psychodelia to control a couple of Unit soldiers that then the Toymaker would arrive and somehow use that psychodelia to expand it to the entirety of the human race, bring those episodes together and making them feel more connected in a way. But nah. And honestly I do like what we got but like I said, I wish there was more.

My second point being that, while I think I can happily say 14 is my favourite Doctor and I'm so happy David Tennant returned, these should have been 13's episodes. 13 spent all her season being so closed off that three episodes focused on the Doctor just breaking down after everything, especially the Flux, feels like it was something written for Jodie Whittaker, and I feel like she could have easily managed it. This feels like the ending Jodie should have gotten instead of Power of the Doctor. But hey, we got 14 instead and I don't begrudge the show for it. All just my opinion of course.

Regardless, this had been a very interesting anniversary celebration. We've gotten 3 extra episodes that had the feel of the show during its 2005-2008 run with old fan favourite faces returned for one more run through time and space. Very fun. Loved it. And I can't wait to see what this new era will bring and what's to come with the 15th Doctor.

#Doctor Who #Dr Who #14th Doctor #15th Doctor #spoilers #dw spoilers #David Tennant #Catherine Tate #ncuti gatwa #60th anniversary #neil patrick harris #Toymaker

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brideofdiscord-rewritten · 11 months

Text

Bride of Discord Chap. 2:

The Gala

The Grand Galloping Gala was arriving in seven moons, and Twilight had called all her friends to help with the preparations. It was an event the group of friends looked forward to most, as planning a party had been how they met, and served as an effective reminder how they were practically meant to be.

The four approached the palace gate, pearlescent gold swirled overhead, enveloped by lavender marble slabs. Beyond the gate, the sturdy granite and basalt. Inside surely held strong oak or teak. It looked like a pinnacle of wealth. As the gates was opened, by willing guards, Instead of Twilight they were greeted by her brother.

"ladies," Shining Armor said. "We're so glad you could make it! Twilie and the others are already having dinner. They asked me to escort you."

Applejack sighed in relief. "Thank goodness! I'm starved!"

Pinkie Pie bounced down the hallway. "Dinner with the princesses! That's the type of thing nopony else could possibly dream of!"

"You love having dinner with any pony, darling," Rarity chuckled breathlessly.

"food's a love language! And I'm Trot Jones!"

The group laughed, Applejack grabbing onto rarity's withers for support, rainbow dash running off as the laughed, Fluttershy coving her face, and letting off silly girlish snorts.

In the dining hall, Celestia sat at the head of the table, Twilight and Spike on her right, Luna and Cadence on her left. When she saw her friends, the purple alicorn forgot her manners for a moment, leaping out of her seat and attacking them with a hug.

"I'm so happy you guys made it!" she exclaimed. "I haven't seen you in so long, I was doodling your cutie marks on my notes!'

"We're more than grateful to be here with y'all!" Applejack declared. "Now hows 'bout we chow down?!"

As they ate like starved timberwolves, the friends caught up with one another. Twilight told them about the new spells she had learned, Rarity talked about the dresses she had in mind for the Gala, Applejack asked if the event could be painted professionally for the hospital patients, and Pinkie ranted lovingly about the other cultures she'd learned from . Fluttershy politely listened to the conversations, a bit nervous about being in the presence of royalty, but happy to infodump when animals were brought up, especially when it was an animal from another era. Then Shining Armor and Cadence tapped on their crystal glass and announced something extraordinary.

"Shall I tell them? I can't keep it in any longer!" the alicorn asked her husband.

"I think you have the right," he replied with a wink.

She smiled at all of them. Her teeth were glassy white, albeit slightly crooked. It was endearing, especially so after cadence announced: "We're having a baby!"

Every pony gasped. Except for Luna, who'd seen cadence's dreams, watching afar as she dreamt of fish, waking the next morning as a mother.

"Wait a second!" Pinkie cried. Then she took a sip of water and spat it out. "You mean to say you're having a bouncing, giggling, grabby, chunky, silly little FOAL???!" she twitched slightly in excitement.

Cadence laughed. "Of course, Pinkie."

Twilight flapped her hooves as her jaw hung open "I'm going to be an auntie! To a BABY!"

"That would explain your glow, why you're positively radiant! When are you due?" Rarity asked, astonished.

"Ten months," answered Shining Armor.

"How wonderful!" Fluttershy complimented. She wondered who the baby would look like more, based on their genes.

"This calls for a toast!" Celestia announced. She lifted her goblet, lined with rubies. "Here goes to the child of princess Cadence and sir Shining Armor, may their legacy live on through their deeds!

The others lifted their goblets and cheered in agreement.

Luna's mane of midnight ink and twinkling stars adorning the smoky Prussian blue gave way to reveal her almond eyes. Framing her soft and enticing face, sharp in it's regality. Her eyelids drooped alluringly. She brought up her hoof and whispered to her sister.

"hehe, their deed brought a new legacy alright-"

"Luna! You MANIAC!" Celestia whispered, her voice cracked. They giggled, and laughed louder each time they looked at each other. Spike only squinted and pouted.

"Wait," Spike paused. "I'm not gonna be the one to change its diaper, am I?"

Everypony laughed as spike shrugged. He would not be getting an answer. Fluttershy only smiled softly. She was truly happy for the young couple, but for some reason, that happiness could not be reflected through her face. Applejack noticed Fluttershy's depression and stopped laughing slowly. Her friend had been this way for quite a while now. While she engaged in social activities as much as possible, she never seemed to take pleasure in them, instead seeming rather depressed as she walked out the door. It bothered the cowpoke and she was determined to find out what was going on.

The next day, preparations for the Grand Galloping Gala began. Pinkie Pie brought her party cannon into the ballroom and fired balloons and confetti all over the place. In a comedic manner it all fell perfectly into place.bPrincess Celestia was sure the Gala was going to be less boring this year. Less upright. Rarity called the girls in one by one to take measurements and ask their opinion on their dresses, though they knew to trust the unicorn's vision and to not make too many suggestions.

After gathering foodstuffs and baking supplies from the market, Applejack decided to take a stroll in the garden. She would not have to make the food until the day before the event, so she had some time to herself. Of course, knowing herself, she'd likely get onto her duties hours before she was supposed to, simply for pure amusement. She followed a melodic sound and encountered Fluttershy conducting her bird chorus. She stopped them in the middle of a song.

"No dearie, it's more like…" she sang a few notes in that sweet voice of hers. "Understand?"

"Howdy, Fluttershy!" Applejack said in a voice loud enough to startle the birds. The pony beamed apologetically. "Oops, sorry Fluttershy, I'll call them back."

The pegasus sighed and gave a small smile. Her features lifted and the smile line on her face became more defined. "It's okay. We were about to take a break anyway."

Applejack studied her face carefully. "Is somethin' wrong, Sugar Cube?"

"What? Oh no, nothing is wrong."

She wasn't convinced by her tone. "Fluttershy, I'm gon' be honest with you. You seem down in the dumps as of late. You know I can't remember the last time I seen you smile? I mean really smile, like you meant it?"

Fluttershy paused and turned away. "It's nothing, really. It's not stopping me from anything."

Applejack took a deep breath. "It's those nightmares, ain't it? You're still havin' them, aren't ya?"

The pegasus floated to the ground and hid her face, unsure. Her friend put an assuring hoof on her back.

"Sugar Cube," she said slowly, "it's been three years. Discord's long gone. You got nothin' to fear anymore. You gotta let it go."

She sniffed. "I know, but the nightmares just won't go away, even when I'm not asleep! It's like everywhere I turn, he's there, watching, waiting to…to…I don't know! Take me away or something! I just…I can't…"

Tears began to prickle her eyelashes. Applejack stroked her mane in comfort. It was soft, excepting the sticks and marigolds peppered inside. Rainbow dash loved braiding flowers into her mane, but taking it out was hard without a stick, which broke In her thick mane.

"Hey, it's okay. Discord's not comin' back and he certainly ain't gonna take us away. If he did, you'd be able to kick his butt! It just ain't gonna happen. Come git some hot cider if you're feelin anxious, okay sugar?"

Beyond the castle gold and the groves of daisies, past the vines of thorn and trees with spikes in place of branches in a cave far away, their old enemy was watching the scene in a mirror. He could not help but laugh in a gravely manner.

"It's just too amusing!" he exclaimed. "Oh, the dramatic irony of it all! Ooh, imagine the looks on their faces when I appear out of the blue after all this time!"

The image in the mirror faded and only his reflection was visible.

"And why have we been hiding all these years?" his image mocked.

"why it's elementary, you silly fool, it's in their face! How they go about their lives, oblivious to my presence! It'll make it all the more easy to get them with their guards gone!

"Except for that wimpy pegasus."

"Oh, nopony will listen to that quivering drip!" He cackled, "Oh, that pony is in for quite a fright!" He bellowed

"Exactly what's the plan this time? Turning them into their opposites again? My my, how WELL that plan turned out!"

"NO, of course NOT! we can't do something that can be undone. We'll have to make a more…permanent change." He tapped his chin with his eagle claw.

"The problem is those Elements of Harmony," his reflection said. "As long as they are willing to use them, we are not safe."

His eyes widened as an idea hit him. "Yes, but what if they weren't willing to use them?"

The reflection smiled evilly. "Ooh, I like the sound of that! So what's the plan?"

"I'll tell ya later. Or I wont! You'll find out soon enough, you're me! Those ponies are in for the surprise of their lives!"

He broke into a roar of maniacal laughter, which echoed throughout the cave. He then glanced around at the emptiness of his lair.

"You know? I've really got to stop talking to myself."

The Gala was only a day away when Spike coughed up a message for Princess Celestia. He held his stomach as Celestia read unaware.

"There is a crisis in Saddle Arabia," she announced to the other princesses after reading the parchment.

"What sort of crisis?" Luna asked.

"I am assuming it has to do with the blockade and airstrikes by Yemane. lacks detail, but it says they need you, Cadence and I to come to their aid."

"should I come with you, princesses?" Twilight questioned.

"That is simply what it says. All of us, excepting you. My apologies twilight, but Even if they requested all of us, one of us will have to stay behind. As my duchess and right hoof pony, I am entrusting you with my kingdom. I have no doubts that you could do this task and prevail."

"What about the Gala? Your presence is expected!"

"We must leave immediately. We have been before, and the ponies are not missing anything by not seeing us for the hundredth time. I know you can take charge."

The young alicorn froze. "me? Rule Equestria? Run the Gala? By myself?"

Celestia nodded. "You will have your friends and brother to help you, of course, but yes. Until we return, all royal duties will be appointed to you."

Her eyes became enlarged and shining. "Do you think I'm ready?" She wondered out loud.

The tall alicorn lifted her chin with her hoof. "I do." Her face charming and regal, grinned enduringly.

When the others heard about this, they panicked.

"You mean they're not going to attend the Gala?" Rarity exclaimed. "Oh, and I made such beautiful dresses! I got to take their measurements and discuss complimentary gems and for WHAT?!"

"We're doing this all by ourselves?" Fluttershy asked horrified.

"Aw, no sweat! We've handled party ponies before!"

"But something as big as the Grand Galloping Gala? Those ponies are rich! They have expectations! It seems like a performance. Oh, I'm feeling lightheaded..."

Rainbow Dash caught her before she hit the floor.

"I'm nervous too," Twilight declared. "But don't worry, girls. I know we can pull this off if we work together!"

This lifted every pony's spirits and they cheered. Well, every pony but Fluttershy, who uttered a half-hearted, "Yay."

"Well, what are we waiting for?" said Rarity. "We have a gala to prepare!"

"I'll go get my birds to practice. Oh! And my geckos."

Her four friends watched in confusion as the pegasus trotted sadly off.

"is flutters okay? She doesn't seem as excited about the gala! She's performing! Do you think her stomach hurts or something!?"

"You know how she is with social events," Rarity said.

"But I've never seen her like this before," Twilight noted.

"It's them nightmares again," Applejack explained. "Theys gettin' worse."

The duchess's

face filled with concern. "How longs this been going on?"

"A while. I can't remember the last time I saw her really smile."

Pinkie pondered. "You know what? Neither can I! I mean when she does give a smile, it looks forced."

"You know she's been getting invitations from an enormous array of stallions?" Rarity mentioned. "But she rejects all of them! I simply cannot understand it! If I received that much attention, I would bask in it! I hope she's feeling loving about herself..."

"You say she's having nightmares?" Twilight asked. "Do you mean the ones involving…?"

She didn't need to finish. "Exactly. She can't seem to get that monster out o' her mind."

"But he's been gone for three darn years!" Rainbow dash reminded them. "What is she afraid of? If he wanted to attack why not do it when where chilling?"

"We gotta find a way to turn her frown upside-down!" Pinkie declared. "But how?"

They all thought for a moment. Then Rarity's face lit up.

"What she needs is a social boost! She should do more at the Gala tomorrow night than conduct the bird choir! She should sing a song!"

"You're right!" Pinkie agreed. "She has an amazing voice, but she doesn't show it off. This could be her chance!"

"What about her stage fright?" Applejack questioned.

"Oh please," Rainbow huffed. "It's high time she got over it, she's awesome! She's gotta know it by now!"

"I suppose she could sing," Twilight said. "We'll have to ask her first."

Fluttershy was reluctant in the beginning, but then decided it would be something to take her mind off of everything and accepted. Besides, with her they could prove they had manners and talents that these rich ponies couldn't dream of!

The posh ponies were astonished when they entered the castle the next evening. The ballroom was decorated like a sweet sixteen, the table was covered in 'standard' baked goods, the orchestra was playing the Pony Pokey and Princess Twilight was greeting the guests instead of Celestia. She of course only did this for the first few minutes and then left to mingle. The scene was also lively due to the presence of the Canterlot orphans. The Canterlot elite were shocked at first, but soon settled into the rusticity of it all. They had to admit, the Gala was a lot more entertaining this year. Plus, the gems adorning dresses all over the place entrapped their eyes.

Pinkie Pie was in the middle of a song when she suddenly cried, "RAINBOW DASH!"

The Wonderbolts had just entered the ballroom and Rainbow Dash was tackled by the enthusiastic pony.

"I'm so glad you're here! I haven't seen you since we gathered!" Pinkie shrieked.

The blue pegasus wrapped an arm around her and laughed. "Good to see you too, Pinkie! Sorry I couldn't visit, my wings were SORE! On the bright side, my legs are super buff!" She flexed, and her stifle tightened, defining her muscular build. She spent a minute admiring her muscles, flexing her forearms. "Oh man, that's beautiful, hehe."

She was then met with Twilight and Applejack, both of which offered her a hug.

"Hey, wheres Rarity and Fluttershy?" she asked, glancing around.

"Fluttershy's practicing her song and Rarity went to pick up the Cutie Mark Crusaders from the train station," Applejack explained with a chuckle. "Though, they're not exactly the Cutie Mark Crusaders anymore."

"Whoa, whoa. Back up. They're not friends anymore? I thought our lessons meant somethin'! I mean, did they even know who they were talkin to?! Kinda a big DEAL! And flutters said yeah??!!"

"She's singing! It's official!" Twilight exclaimed.

Applejack was about to reply when a young voice cried, "Rainbow Dash!"

It belonged to Scootaloo, who was racing towards her role model. Rainbow greeted her adopted sister with a bear hug.

"I missed ya, Scoots! Let's have a look at ya. Wow, you've grown, kid. And…" She paused. OH!! THATS WHAT THEY MEANT!"

Scootaloo lifted her flank to reveal a shield cutie mark, with a small wing in the middle. A lighting strike was in the middle.

"Can you believe it? I finally earned my cutie mark! Sweetie belle and apple bloom have the same kind!"

Rainbow and Twilight gasped. Applejack smirked. "Tried to tell ya."

"Congrats, kiddo!" The older pegasus noogied her purple mane playfully. "I always knew you had slick moves on that scooter!"

"it's actually for helping others with their cutie marks!" Scootaloo exclaimed. "How could I not have known that was my special talent?!"

"EVEN BETTER!!"

Then Rarity approached with Sweetie Belle and Apple Bloom who, like Scootaloo, were dressed elegantly. Apple Bloom wore a glittering red dress and had switched her pink bow with a sparkling green one. Sweetie Belle wore glass slippers to match her blue dress with translucent trimming. Scootaloo's hair was short and scrappy and her dress had a magnificent blend of orange and purple.

"Wow," Twilight marveled. "You girls look beautiful! Did you make them those dresses, Rarity?"

"Would you believe it?" Rarity replied. "Dear Apple Bloom here came up with the designs!"

"Really?" Applejack said.

"Yeah! Her gift of design is truly a miracle!" her sister exclaimed. "And guess what appeared as scootaloo's did?"

Apple bloom's flank revealed another shield, this one with an apple in the middle and a heart inside the apple.

"I wanted it to be a surprise! We was so good at trying to find our cutie marks,when we tried to find other's this appeared!"

Applejack sniffed and hugged her little sister. "My little Apple Bloom has finally blossomed!"

"But you said Sweetie Belle had her cutie mark too," Twilight said.

"I do!" the little unicorn piped as she revealed her flank.

Sweetie Belle's cutie mark was a shield with a star and musical note. Twilight did not need to ask what her talent was.

"You three sure have come a long way," Rainbow noted.

"We all have," said Twilight.

Neither of them noticed the gray stallion listening from afar. His deer antler and goat horn were hidden under his top hat, the only things that would not change, along with his yellow and red eyes. He smiled to himself at the alicorn's statement.

"We have indeed, Twilight Sparkle, including me."

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bodrewritten · 7 months