#this just feels like crap but i have not been able to write anything else

[oldworldghost]

Telling stories to Pinochio fron Lies of P about Fairytales or whatever crap reader made when reader is bored !!

[Preferably former librarian Reader x Pino :3]

Tell me a story and I'll tell you I love you

↳ Anon I absolutely love this prompt, so I had to write a little something for it. This is definitely more focused on Pincchios' feelings for you as opposed to the actually story telling bit, and I think by the end especially it kind of stops being about the request a bit I am so sorry LMAO. Let me know if you want hcs or something else instead! :D

↳ This is currently unedited, I’ll do that tomorrow!

Pinocchio sits beside you, head resting limply on your shoulder as he finds himself falling deeper in love with you.

You’re sharing one of the many stories in your knowledge with him, something old and undoubtedly picked up from your time as a librarian. Something – Pinocchio thinks – that only you know now, expect maybe Antonia, but he’s seen you catch even her by surprise with fanciful worlds and characters. It’s an insurmountable act of love, to hold so much in your mind and with such care. No details [at least from his knowledge] forgotten, no characters left aside for fear of boring the crowd. Every bit just as important as the other, no matter how minuscule it is.

Some part of him wonders if you do the same for everyone else, collect the lore of the hotels final inhabitants with the same wonder you share for characters. What do you remember about him? Pinocchio likes to think that you hold onto everything he’s shared with you, sprinkle him across the stories of your own making. Maybe he’s something that inspiration can be found in, someone you admire more than anything. Built up in your mind like the greatest of heroes. You could care that much, he thinks, and he could even be your favourite.

Maybe you’ve even found Pinocchios’ love for you spread across his pages. He doesn’t see how you could miss it, there’s so much that he doesn’t even know what to do with it except sink in it. Day after day, night after night. He’s sinking even now, nestled into you side in one of the hotels many unused rooms.

It’s your voice that keeps Pinocchios’ attention. You’re onto the part of the story where a great battle takes place, the last defence of mankind against a dark and terrible lord. Both the lords strongest servant and a king have been slain, and yet despite the story nearing its peak Pinocchio finds himself unable to focus on your words. He catches phrases, can understand your tone and the pronunciation of speech, but it’s difficult to put the meaning together. Any other day and he’d be engrossed in it, hanging of every syllable like a starving animal, but today his mind is preoccupied.

The feeling in his chest is growing unbearable, and he wonders if his gears will simply cease to work as a result. It might not be the worst thing in the world, to die by your side. He might even be able to call it a pleasure, a privilege.

Still, Pinocchio doesn’t particularly care for the idea of his own death, especially not when there are more pressing matters on his mind, and so with a bout of almost uncharacteristic boldness he sits up. You don’t pay him any mind, not until hands – rougher than he means them to be – turn your body towards his. Lamely your sentence finishes, head tilting to the side and eyebrows knitting together in a look of confusion and mild amusement.

Pinocchio takes the opportunity to look at you, really look at you. Blue glass eyes take in every detail, every curve and dip and mark, your breathes growing shakier as he leans in. There is a mole under your left eye, he notes, a faint scar running across your mouth. He traces it with his finger and your breath hitches, an incoherent mumble of something that feels like it’s his name. Moonlight shines in above your head like a halo, and Pinocchio thinks you couldn’t look anymore gorgeous than you already do. He wonders if he looks as beautiful to you as you do to him. The sparkle in your eyes, the glint of what could be called awe suggests that he does. Pride and love fill in Pinocchios’ chest until he’s moving without thought, leaning – sinking, always sinking - into you. Lips, clumsy and adoring, press against your own in a fleeting kiss, pulling away before you’re given the chance to respond.

You see the man before you grow from confident to timid in the moonlight, as if coming to the realisation of what he had just done.

“I-” Pinocchio cuts himself off, going to speak only to be met with his own silence.

He doesn’t know why words aren’t forming, and for a moment he wonders if something malfunctioned in him during the kiss. You can see the gears turning in his head, a question forming on the tip of your tongue. This time, Pinocchio cuts you off instead of himself.

“I’m in love with you. I’m sorry to be so sudden, but I,” he takes a moment to steady himself, “I could not be quiet about it any longer.”

A breathless laugh bubbles in your throat in response, a smile curving its way on your mouth as you go to speak, “I was wondering if you did. For a puppet you’re not exactly the most subtle person I’ve met.”

It’s Pinocchios’ turn to be surprised.

“You knew?”

“I was hoping I did. Never said anything because I didn’t know if you felt that way or if it was wishful thinking on my part. Hell, didn’t even know if you could actually feel such a thing. I mean, I know my stories are good, but I didn’t know if they were that good.”

“You... feel the same.”

“Of course,” the smile on your face is crooked and it takes everything in him not to kiss you again, “you’re a very hard person not to love.”

“Say it, please.”

You laugh once more. It is the sweetest sound he’s ever heard.

“I love you, Pinocchio. More than anything,” his heart feels fit to burst, “now can I please get back to my story? We’re nearing my favourite part and I’d like to be done by morning.”

“Yes, please. I would like that.”

As Pinocchio settles back into your side something in him clinks into place. He is unsure what it is, but as your hand slides into his and your fingers intertwine Pinocchio thinks that this is what it means to feel at home. The feeling of love only deepens, tearing it’s way further still into the recesses of his being. It will leave him bare and broken before you, he is certain of it.

Listening to you speak; Pinocchio can’t think of a better way to be swallowed whole.

#sorry about how long this took nonnie!! #still trying to get the writing juices flowing properly #anyway enjoy nonnie :D #lies of p #lies of p x reader #pinocchio #pinocchio x reader #my writing

[blegh-110]

I get the worst cramps, and I think if Y/n got horrible cramps too, Flightless!Tan would be the BEST at taking care of her

not me on my period right now and having cramps as well :((( this will be totally self-indulgent btw

so reader knows when she gonna get her period in a number of ways. one, when she starts breaking out. and she is totally freaking out because she is getting that anxious feeling in her stomach from when her parents would notice this break out and comment on it not very nicely. shes afraid that tangerine will see the red spots and pimples on her face and not think of her as his "pretty girl" anymore :((( and because of this, she starts hiding away from him and trying to stay away from him until it starts to go away. so that means longer showers, sleeping in and staying in bed longer, resisting sitting in his lap and receiving cheek kisses. which does not end up going well because shes soon missing his touch.

second, when her boobs start getting sore and achy :((( she just lounges around the house in pain and all pouty, knowing whats coming in a day or two.

three, when she starts craving a bunch of food and eating whatever. and she always feels like crap after.

at first, tangerine just thinks shes gone a little back into her shell and his simply trying to distance herself because she feels like it. but one morning when he tries getting her out of bed after letting her sleep in for a little too long, he gently tries pulling the blanket of her body but stop when she starts whining and eyes start filling with tears.

"cmon, we dont wanna waste the day again, do we?" tangerine tries pulling at the blanket again but fully stops and drops his hands when she starts crying and tugging at the comforter like its her lifeline. at this, tangerine sits on her bed with a concerned look on his face.

"you have to tell me whats wrong. v' let you sleep in for more than two hours now. are you feeling sick?" tangerine tilts his head to the side to get a better look at her, gently wiping away her tears. he feels relieved when you shake your head.

"then what is it? just tell me and ill do everything i can to fix it."

at his words and calm, low voice. she leans herself into him, hiding her face in his neck to spare her the embarrassment she feels. she closes her eyes when she feels his arms wrap around her, itd been a few days since she felt it.

"got m'period." she whispers so quietly it takes tangerine a second to figure out what she says, it doesn't help that her face is shoved into the crook of his neck.

"well thats okay." he says, but is actually panicking because he hasnt gotten any feminine products for her. he mentally kicks himself for not thinking of this.

"got your sheets all dirty and gross."

"well we do have this thing called a washer and dryer, my love. it kind of cleans what needs to be cleaned," tangerine teases while rubbing comforting circles on her back, "your sheets will be just fine."

after a while, he is finally able to pull you out of bed.

"now, you go do your little morning routine, and im gonna head to the store and get you some stuff, got it?" you nod your head as he walks you to the bathroom, knowing that the first thing you like to do when you get out of bed is brush your teeth.

"okay, now is there a specific brand you prefer?"

you tell him quietly, feeling awkward because you had never had to tell someone this before. but a part of you is relieved that tangerine is not disgusted with you, but instead determined to get through this with you.

"alright, anything else you would like?"

"id like some chocolate, if its okay with you." you stare down at your feet, finding your painted toes very interesting all of a sudden.

"that more than okay with me, what else?"

tangerine writes down all the others stuff you want, and with that, he is out the door and in his car. ready to take away your pain and discomfort.

#tangerine x reader #tangerine #tangerine imagine #tangerine fanfiction #bullet train #bullet train imagine #aaron taylor johnson x fem!reader #aaron taylor johnson x reader #tangerine blurb #flightless bird thoughts<3 #aaron taylor johnson

[sugawarassoccerlover]

There to Hold You(Bakugo Katsuki)

synopsis: reader is overwhelmed and has been keeping everything to themselves. Bakugo hates this, and won’t let them self isolate. a/n: this is incredibly self indulgent but I hope this is as comforting to read as it was to write

cw: crying, being overwhelmed, insecurity and overthinking, idk what else, lemme know if I missed something

——————————————————————————————————

“Something’s wrong.” Katsuki stated, the same way one might say ‘the sky is blue.’

“What makes you think so?” You turned around in your chair to look at your boyfriend. You gave him your most earnest smile, trying to not let happen what he was trying to do. 

You had carefully constructed walls to keep your worst emotions away from people, you had to handle them yourself. You couldn’t rely on anyone else. If Katsuki ever knew how you truly thought and felt, you’d be too much, he wouldn’t be able to handle you, he wouldn’t love you, he’d leave you. 

“Cut the crap. F/n told me you haven’t spoke to them in days, and you aren’t the type for that shit.” He said, studying your face for any kind of response.

When you didn’t say anything, he continued. “They said they messaged you and you didn’t respond. You always respond to everyone immediately, so something has to be wrong.” 

“I’m okay ‘Suki. I’ve just… had a little extra on my plate lately, but I’m alright I swear,” you tried to assure him, even though each word was an absolute lie. 

He squinted. Although impulsive, Katsuki Bakugo is not stupid. Especially not when it comes to you. He may have been a little more aggressive because he was frustrated at himself for not noticing something was off sooner, but he wanted to help you. Because he loves you, and he wants to help you the way you helped and continue to help him. He grabbed your shoulders, making eye contact with you, trying to pry the truth from your eyes. 

You looked away, ashamed and not wanting to spill it all. Insecurity chipped away at you. You were positive he wouldn’t love you if he knew how bad the storm in your mind had gotten. How deep the waters were. 

“No, you’re not alright, dumbass. You’ve been acting overly happy lately, but you’ve been distant. You’re good at putting on an ‘I’m fine’ face, sometimes too damn good, but your eyes are so empty,” admitting his worry for you almost made him want to tear up. 

But he couldn’t, he had to get to the bottom of this. He knew, he personally knew what it was like to keep everything in, to never feel able to tell anyone, to be drowning in your own feelings, thoughts, and troubles. He knew what it was like to keep it all to yourself until you snapped, until you felt beyond repair, until it was too much and impossible to feel sane. And he wouldn’t let that happen to you. 

You shook your head. “Please just drop it, Katsuki, I’m busy, I don’t have time for this,” why was he trying so hard? You had convinced yourself no one cared, no one would care. 

He moved his hands from your shoulders to your face, making you look at him. “I can see that something is wrong, and I refuse to let you deal with it by yourself. You’re only going to make it worse if you don’t tell me. Please,” he said, voice nearly breaking. “Please, tell me. I hate seeing you pretend like you’re okay. We both promised to work on our communication. You’ve seen me at my lowest, and you helped me through it, you loved me when I was a moody, arrogant shitty teen. Why would your problems be any different? I promise you, I won’t judge you for it. You can’t get rid of me. So please, y/n, please. Tell me what’s wrong. Please talk to me,” he was nearly pleading at this point.

You felt your eyes well up with tears. Damn it, you had worked so hard at constructing your walls, but he was bringing them down. Why was he so good at this? You had to divert the attention away from yourself. “Oh? It seems I have the hero Dynamight begging. One would consider this an accomplishment,” you said with a forced giggle. 

“Don’t give me that shit. Don’t do this to me, to yourself,” his tone was softer than you’d ever heard it before, emotion sitting in the back. 

A calloused thumb stroked your cheek. It was a small, mundane, minimal act of affection, but yet it made your emotions go haywire. You looked up, meeting his gaze finally, and it broke you. He looked so genuine. A single tear fell, and that was the drop that made the dam break. The walls cracked, and cracked, and all that you had stored up, kept away carefully, came rushing down. Before you knew it, the tears wouldn’t stop flowing. 

Katsuki felt odd for being happy that you were crying, but he was relieved you finally let it out. He wrapped his arms around your midsection, carefully lifting you to stand. One arm remained wrapped around you, while the other moved to hold the back of your head, carefully bringing your face to rest on his chest. Every sob chipped away at his heart. It had been months since you cried like this, and the last time you did you were alone. It was all so much, you felt as if you were going to crumble to pieces.

But Katsuki held onto you the whole time, though you fell apart he held the pieces in his arms. He didn’t tell you that it’s okay, or that you’re okay, because it’s plain to see that you aren’t, but he repetitively reassured you that he’s here, and he won’t leave. His muscular arms held you close to his heart while you cried it out. You’d been keeping it in for so long, you didn’t even realize all the things you were feeling. It hurt, and it hurt badly. Hurts, pains, stresses, all your grievings flowed like your tears. 

Katsuki pressed the occasional small kiss to your head, gentle reminders that he’s with you. He was never one to be very good with words, and though he’s tried to get better at it, he hoped his shows of affection through acts would be enough to convey to you that he cares. Because he cares so much, so much he can barely contain it, he feels so angry when you feel like this, not at you, not towards you, but angry that he can’t fistfight your feelings so they go away. He began to slowly rock you while you stood, protected by his hold. Had you not been in such a sour state, you would have smiled at this action. 

After what felt like quite awhile, all your tears had dried up, and your body began to feel tired. Though you were resting against him this whole time, your body relaxed more as you became more tired. All the crying you had done zapped your energy. When he recognized this, Katsuki led you to your shared bedroom where he motioned for you to sit on the bed. 

“I’ll be back in a moment. Don’t do anything stupid, you hear me?” He said firmly.

You nodded. You felt so drained after your crying session, but yet a little bit lighter. You didn’t want to admit that Katsuki holding you while you let out your emotions helped, but it really did. While you were comforted by the knowledge of him reassuring you the whole time you cried, your insecurities didn’t go away. Your heart told you that you could trust him, and you knew he loves you, but your mind made you doubt. What if it was all an act? If you actually spoke your mind, vocalized your thoughts and feelings, would that be the end of it for your relationship? 

“Oi, dumbass. Drink up. You’ll get dehydrated,” Katsuki’s voice broke you out of your spiraling thoughts. 

You looked up, and he was handing you a glass of water. You accepted it, taking a few sips before setting it on the nightstand. The blond man took a seat next to you on the bed, slinging his arm around your shoulders, and pulling you closer to him.

“You were thinking. What is it?” 

As you stated at him, tears filled your eyes again, and Katsuki carefully wiped them away with calloused fingers. “I’m just… afraid. What if you think I’m too much? What if you can’t handle my problems? I don’t want to be left, what if-“

“Hey. Cut that shit out. I won’t do any of that, and that’s a promise. When have I ever broken my promises, hm?” 

You smiled faintly. “Never.”

“Exactly. Now tell me what’s going on.”

While you explained, he listened. He’d always listen, and he’d always be there. When you had finished, he gave his two cents, with a fair share of curses. You sighed contentedly. Katsuki was awkward at times, blunt, rash, and could be a little rough around the edges, but his stubbornness wasn’t always a bad thing. He never failed to show you how much he cared. His love for you was so strong it was nearly tangible, like a thread in the air you could almost reach out and grab it. No matter what you were dealing with, he would always be there. While he is a pro hero, he’s not a magician, so he wouldn’t be able to make all your problems disappear, as much as he wishes he could. Sometimes, he couldn’t do anything about the storms raging in your head, but he was there, always there, and that’s all that mattered. As long as you had him to hold you, you’d be content. He’d always be there to drag you out of your isolation, your loneliness.  It wasn’t long before you fell asleep in his arms, and Katsuki would not let you go, even after he himself fell asleep. It was his way of saying “I love you.”

#kross' musings ✧ #mha #bnha #bnha x reader #mha x reader #bakugo #bakugo mha #bakugo bnha #bakugo katsuki #katsuki bakugo #bakugo x reader #bakugou x you #bakugo x y/n #bakugo comfort #bakugo drabble #bakugo imagine #katsuki bakugo imagine #mha imagines #bnha imagines #mha drabbles

[indiana-jonas]

The two invisible steps before you make something

When I made comic strips in the past I would often jump straight into drawing the first panel. I’d just wing it and then improvise each following panel. Sometimes it worked out.

An improvised strip from my old series “Us with plants on our heads.”

But often it just turned into nonsensical crap.

I don’t get this one myself.

I often started drawing a strip and gave up cause I didn’t know what to do.

I thought I was supposed to be able to fart out great comics with ease. But I squeezed and squeezed. I was too eager. Without being aware of it, I tried to do 3 steps all at once. To continue this (f)art metaphor - before anything comes out of you, you’ve gotta 1. find something you want to eat, 2. digest it, 3. let it come out. The problem was that I hadn’t eaten or digested anything.

To put it in a more dignified way.

The first step is to search,

the second is to make sense of,

the third is to make it.

I used to skip the first two steps, I wanted to get straight into making shit. But that often turned into nonsensical crap, or I would run into a wall and give up.

The third step (to make it) is the most obvious one. Despite it being the most obvious step, I got completely stuck on it because I hadn’t gone through the first two.

If you are reading this, it’s likely you already know how to make something. I think these first two steps are identical no matter what medium you are creating in. So I will take the liberty of not going into detail about how to make something.

Instead of trying to think of products first, what any creative person should try to do is think, search and wonder. Think about real things, notice what makes you feel stuff - what is close to your heart if everything else is stripped away? Ideally projects will emerge from the collection of the thoughts you have collected, or at least be designed/conceived in a way that can package your thoughts as nicely as possible.

Search

There’s nothing quite as uninspiring as a blank canvas. 85% of the time a blank canvas only makes me feel dread or boredom. If you come up with a great idea while looking at a canvas it’s not because you looked at a canvas, it’s despite looking at it. Whatever great ideas I have managed to conjure while looking at that white rectangle has always come from something else - an inspiring movie scene, something from my day, a lingering thought, or a line from a song.

Now I’ve abandoned blank canvases, I never start from one. Neither when I write or draw.

Instead, I live in search of noteworthy thoughts. Regardless of whether you know what a thought will be useful for, jot them down somewhere.

To search is just to live life with a keen eye, ear and heart and to make sure you don’t forget.

When I stare at a blank canvas The Search becomes stressful and I want to avoid it. But in reality, if I admit that The Search is part of the process, it becomes the most peaceful and interesting step of them all. It’s just living with a secret mission - to be human and to find out what’s special about that to you.

And of course you need to make sure you don’t forget those thoughts for the next step.

Make sense of

Now that you’ve been out in the world and discovered stuff, it’s time to sit down somewhere, sift through and examine your haul. You might be overwhelmed by how much is in there. You’ll never be able to use everything. So you just gotta use your intuition. See what stands out, group things, talk with someone - do ANYTHING you want with it until you find what’s hiding there.

Your notes are a collection of countless puzzles. Some puzzles are hundreds of pieces big, others are just one or three. Some pieces fit into more than one puzzle. You don’t know. Often you’ll have to find a few pieces in your head to complete a puzzle, while other pieces might still be hidden out there in the world.

The way to make sense of a puzzle is to try to put it together, or to be literal; try to explain it as clearly as you can. Ask yourself, “how can I prove to someone else that this is true?” And ideally not just make them understand it, but also feel it. That’s the puzzle you gotta solve.

Let me give you an example.

I found myself frustrated that we live life too much through screens and I want to make a Space Deer comic strip. That’s the idea I want to make sense of and the filter that I will examine my idea through.

First I will ask myself, “ok, why is that idea true?”- I think life needs balance, you shouldn’t stare too much of it away through a pixelated representation of it. Then I ask myself, “how should we live then?”- We should go outside and get our boots in the mud more, what we will really remember is probably gonna happen out there. And then I try to think of a situation where I can show as clearly as possible that this is right. I’m afraid this message might be tired or preachy, especially if I would aim the message directly at someone like us (you know, someone who’s currently looking at a screen). Luckily the imagery of my comic gives me other symbols to play with.

So I thought of how I could show that in four comic panels and wrote down this.

Space Deer walks on a desolate planet. They encounter a mars rover. They scream “get out here and live!!” NASA people see Space Deer through their screens.

It’s simple, but it gets the idea across. Normally I would like to make it clear that Space Deer is really out there and living freely, to show what these researches are missing out on. But in the comic we will see Space Deer explore and go on all kinds of adventures, so that’s something I didn’t feel like I needed to put more emphasis on. I trust the reader to make that connection themself.

Sometimes making sense of an idea can be much harder, in this example the idea was an entire puzzle on its own, or maybe I had the remaining pieces in my head already. Sometimes all you need is just one piece in front of you to know where to look for the rest.

Make it

And then of course the last step is to just make it. (Step 4 is to share it. Step 5 is to repeat it.)

I have made decent comic strips despite jumping straight into drawing, or so I’ve thought. Thinking back on it, I just managed to search and make sense of an idea as I was drawing. I didn’t magically skip two steps, that’s impossible. I was just not aware of what I was doing.

Now that I know the steps, I’m much better at understanding why I tend to get stuck in different parts of the process.

In reality these steps are not always as clear cut. They will blend into each other, you might do some back and forth, making sense of and making something is a fuzzy line. This is not so much a step-by-step process as it is a journey you have to go through. It has definitely helped me to be more methodical and intentional about it though. I’ve set myself up in a way where it’s fun for me to get each step done. I might go into that in the future.

If you only take one thing with you from this - I hope it’s that you will be aware of and feel more at peace with the first two steps.

--------

If you found this interesting then you might enjoy these blog posts too.

When you don't know what to draw

I will never find my art style

Lazy imagination isn't bad

Thank you for reading my thoughts!

#artists on tumblr #indiana-jonas #writing #drawing tutorial #art advice #comic strip #creativity #art block #writers block

[officialaemondtargaryen]

Prompt: "We both kinda escaped the same party and there's only one place to effectively hide from everyone else, I'm sorry but could I please hide in this stupidly claustrophobic spot for just one minute, my heels are killing me?" AU

Characters: Eddie Munson x Reader

Word Count: 3,600

Trigger warning: Partying, alcohol use, drug use.

Author's Note: Happy New Years! Are all of my fics holiday themed now? See ya on Valentine's Day, I guess. Also, I was torn between writing this for Eddie or writing this for Argyle, but I was afraid that I wouldn't be able to nail the dialogue with Argyle- I need to study his character more (aka watch vol. 4 again). I really hope that you enjoy this 100% self-indulgent, steaming pile of crap.

It was Robin's fault, truly.

Steve had originally asked her to go with him to Tina's party, but she wasn't able to get out of work. You already had plans with your mother, a few VHS tapes, and a giant bowl of popcorn, but Steve promised that he would make it up to you in some way, and having something to hold over him was enough to make you reconsider.

Still, you already felt out of place as you sat in Steve's passenger seat picking at the hem of your skirt while he fixed his hair in his rearview mirror. You weren't a huge fan of parties, never had been, especially parties where you didn't drive yourself and therefore could not leave on your own accord unless you wanted to walk a few miles in freezing temperatures.

Steve promised he'd have you home at a decent time, but it was New Year's Eve, and you knew that 'decent time' wouldn't be until at least after the ball dropped. His main objective was Kimberly Kline; a former varsity cheerleader who graduated at the top of her class and the mayor's daughter. According to your best friend, Kimberly had asked him if he was going to the party when she was checking out at the Family Video last week. Steve obviously took that as an invitation, despite not actually being invited.

You were just there as a buffer, in case things between him and Kimberly didn't work out. If they did, you were on your own.

"Your hair looks fine, Steve." You mentioned as he carded his fingers through his silky, brunette locks for what seemed like the thousandth time.

"Are you sure?" He asked. "My head doesn't look too square?"

You sighed and turned to face him. "I'm not sure how to tell you this, but your head has always been and will always be square."

His shoulders dropped as he flipped the visor up and pulled the keys from the ignition. "You know what? That's just great. Thank you, Y/N. Way to boost my confidence."

You pursed your lips to keep yourself from laughing. He rolled his eyes and began mumbling to himself as he climbed out of the burgundy vehicle and shut the door behind him. You let out a chuckle as he dramatically marched off toward Tina's house, leaving you to follow.

"Honestly, Y/N," Steve turned back to you sharply and put his hands on his hips. "I was hoping you'd, I don't know, hype me up and make me feel good about myself. I'm already nervous!"

"Clearly," you laughed as you joined him at his side. "Look, Steve," you reached out and placed your hand on his shoulder. "Kimberly Kline would be totally bonkers to not want to hook up with you. So stop worrying about how you look! If that's all she cares about then you're better off honestly."

Steve looked at you sheepishly with a small blush growing on his cheeks. "Thanks, Y/N."

Before you could say anything, an old, white van sped around the corner past the two of you; tires screeching on the asphalt, leaving a trail of exhaust fumes in its wake. You could hear Iron Maiden blaring as the driver came to a hard stop in Tina's front yard, knocking over a large plastic snowman. You rolled your eyes as Eddie Munson slid out of the driver's seat and took a long drag off of the cigarette hanging from his mouth; a bright cloud of smoke hanging in the air as he exhaled.

"What a jerk," Steve mentioned, pulling you from your thoughts.

"Who? Eddie?" You asked.

"Yeah," he replied. "He thinks he's so cool."

"You know, people used to think that about you," You teased, giving Steve's shoulder a little shove as you began walking towards the party.

It didn't take long before you were standing in Tina's kitchen with a plastic cup in your hand. Your head absentmindedly bobbing to the loud pop music playing through the stereo in the living room. The New Year's Eve special was playing on the television but you wouldn't have been able to hear it. Steve had already spotted Kimberly and had downed two drinks before building up the courage to go over and talk to her.

You were leaning up against the counter, making small talk with a girl that had been in the drama club with you for a few years; catching up, talking about work and college, the usual. Steve was on the couch with his arm around Kimberly, talking animatedly with his hands, and she was smiling. He caught eyes with you for a moment and gave you a quick head nod to let you know that things were going well.

A guy you didn't recognize was aggressively making eye contact from his place in the dining room. You looked for a quick exit, knowing that at any moment he would shove himself off of the wall and stagger over to you. Excusing yourself, you tried to make your way towards Steve but were blocked off by a keg-stand in progress. You peered through the party-goers and noticed the guy was just stepping into the kitchen, ducking your head, you didn't have many options other than out the back door or a random door to your left. Wanting to avoid what would absolutely be the most awkward encounter of your life, you slipped through the closest door hoping the stranger didn't notice.

After a few moments, you considered yourself safe and turned to see that you were standing in Tina's pantry, and there, sitting cross-legged on the floor with a bag of Doritos in his hand, was Eddie Munson; mouth slightly agape, eyes wide.

"Shit," you blurted. "I didn't mean to interrupt whatever it was you were doing in here." You went to turn and leave, your hand was hovering over the doorknob, but the thought of the creep on the other side made you hesitate. "Actually, do you mind if I hang out in here with you for a minute? I'm trying to avoid some weirdo who apparently was never taught that staring is rude."

Immediately, Eddie's eyes shifted to the floor. "Uh, sure." He replied. You sighed in relief. "Unless you just want me to go out there and kick his ass."

You laughed and sat with your back against the wall opposite him. "I appreciate the offer, but kicking off the new year with an assault charge is probably not a good idea." Eddie smiled in reply and the pantry fell silent. "So what is Eddie fucking Munson doing sitting in Tina Burton's pantry?"

He looked up at you through thick, curly bangs and shrugged. "Came here to do a deal," he motioned to his little black box that you had seen a few times before. "But not really feeling the atmosphere," he drew out. "Too many jocks."

"Isn't that your van parked out front?" You asked, he nodded. "You can always leave."

"Suppose I could," he replied. "But then you'd be stuck in this pantry by yourself with a creep on the loose."

"You'd rather stay here at this lame party, despite the fact that you are completely miserable, for me?" His dark chocolate eyes connected with yours for a moment before he shrugged his shoulders. If you didn't know any better, you'd say he was shy. "You flatter me, Mr. Munson."

"What about you?" He asked, turning the tables. "You never really struck me as a party girl. I'm sure you came here with someone."

"I did, yeah, I came with Steve." You replied reaching over and grabbing a handful of Doritos from the bag Eddie was holding.

"Steve?" Eddie asked, his brows raised. "Harrington?" You nodded as you shoved chips into your mouth. "Let me guess, you were supposed to be his date but it didn't work out?"

You almost choked. "No! God, no." Eddie's eyes were probing you for an explanation but you were also hurriedly trying to swallow what was in your mouth before you began talking. "He's trying to get laid, and for fuck's sake, I hope he does. He has been such a little brat lately." Eddie laughed. "I'm his shoulder to cry on in case things don't work out for him."

"Hard to imagine that something wouldn't work out for Steve "The Hair" Harrington," Eddie replied almost critically. He flipped open his little box and pulled out a small, metal tin before producing a pre-rolled joint. Your eyes widened as he stuck it between his lips and pulled a lighter our of his pocket. "What?"

"In here?" You asked.

"You afraid we're going to get in trouble, Y/L/N?" He asked, quirking an eyebrow in your direction before lighting the end of the homemade cigarette. Eddie took a long drag and inhaled the smoke into his lungs and held it for a few moments before exhaling with a loud cough.

"Well, yeah," you replied but still took the joint from Eddie's fingers when he offered it to you. The smoke burned your chest as you inhaled, you couldn't help but cough, choking on the skunky taste before passing the joint back to him.

"You're adorable," he laughed and you immediately pouted. "Yep, that look right there. Let me just-" Eddie placed the burning joint between his lips and held his fingers up in front of his face to mimic a camera, pressing the invisible button with a click sound. "Commit that to my memory." You shook your head and giggled at his antics. "That one, too." He added, clicking his invisible camera, once more.

Sitting here, in the floor of Tina's pantry, you wondered why you hadn't hung out with him more than just the occasional drug deal. You had started buying pot from Eddie in your junior year when his band started practicing in Gareth Emerson's garage, but you had never actually hung out with him outside of that. You'd stay and watch them practice a few songs, but that was about it.

"So do you have any new year's resolutions?" You asked him after taking another hit, not wanting the conversation to die.

"Yeah, graduating," he replied as he sunk back against the wall.

"Any plans on what you're going to do after that?"

"What like college?" He asked taking one last hit before disposing of the smoldering joint in an empty can of beer, you nodded. "I don't really think I'm the college type. Besides, there's no degree for what I want to do."

"So you're going to hit the road?" You asked, "take Corroded Coffin on tour and sell out stadiums?"

"That's the dream," He replied and immediately frowned. "More like a fantasy, really."

"It's not." You reassured him. "There'll be thousands in the crowd screaming your name one day, and I'll be one of them. If I had a permanent marker I'd ask for your autograph now before you get too famous and eventually sell out."

"Never!" He laughed.

"Yeah, yeah, that's what they all say." You teased.

"What about you?" He asked in return. "Any new years plans?"

You shrugged your shoulders and shook your head. You hadn't really given much thought to the new year and you weren't the type to make any resolutions. After all, you lived in Hawkins, Indiana, a place where people didn't really make plans or have any goals outside of settling down and moving up in whatever dead-end job they were working. Every year you'd hear the same shit; "I want to lose ten pounds", "I'm going to stop smoking", "I plan to be more active", or "I'd like to read more books". They'd start off strong, but before January was even over, they'll forget they even set a goal to begin with.

Eddie had lit another joint, waiting for your response but there wouldn't be one. A silence made itself comfortable between the two of you. You could see Eddie was about to say something else, but outside of the pantry, the countdown was beginning; the last few moments of 1985. If you were to make a resolution, now would be the time to do it.

"Ten, nine-"

"We should kiss," you mentioned with a shrug of your shoulders, deciding that your resolution would be to take risks. "Wouldn't want to ruin the tradition."

"Seven, six-"

"What?" He asked, almost choking on the smoke he inhaled from the joint wedged between his fingers. His brows merged together as he coughed.

"Four, three, two-"

"I mean we don't have to," you answered, knowing that he had heard you the first time.

"Happy New Year!"

Eddie paused for just a moment, his tongue sliding over his bottom lip before he moved his hand to the back of your neck and pulled you towards him for a firm kiss. Before you had the chance to fully reciprocate, he pulled away; his eyes searching your features for any sign that he should stop- or continue. Without any hesitation, you snaked your hands around his neck and pulled him back to you, the kiss deeper this time. His lips were hot against yours as his fingers curled into the roots of your hair. Your tongue tangled with his in an eloquent dance that felt so familiar yet brand new.

You pulled away to catch your breath and looked up into his deep brown eyes which were full-blown with lust as he grabbed for you to come closer. Every few moments you'd giggle and he'd smile as you tried to navigate the positioning of your bodies in the small pantry, but your lips still made their way back to each other. His hands pushed your jacket down your shoulders as his lips left a trail of kisses along your neck. You moved to straddle his lap, desperate to be closer to him, but in the move your head collided with the shelf above, sending a couple bags of chips into Eddie's lap instead.

He couldn't help but laugh; his full pink lips stretched into a smile as he took your face in his hands. "You okay, there?"

"Ow," you winced as you rubbed a hand over your head.

"Let me see," he cooed and you tilted your head down to him. He placed a soft kiss on your tender scalp. "All better?"

"Yeah," you sighed. "Just ruined the moment, is all."

Eddie, with your face still in his gentle but calloused hands, placed a lingering kiss on your pouted lips. "You didn't ruin anything," He said softly, brushing your hair behind your ear. "Besides, we should probably get out of here."

It was hard not to notice the dirty looks on the faces of your peers as you and Eddie emerged from the pantry; some of them even pointed as they whispered to each other.

"Do you see Steve?" You yelled at Eddie over the music. "I should probably let him know I'm leaving!"

He scoured the crowd and shook his head. "Maybe things worked out for him!"

"Maybe!" You shrugged and made your way towards the front door; weaving in and out of the sweaty, drunken bodies. Eddie's hand was in yours so as to not get separated from you as he followed behind.

The air was brisk as you stepped out onto Tina's front porch, clearing your foggy mind the second you took a deep breath. You shivered as Eddie stepped in front of you, leading you to his van.

"Your chariot awaits, madam." He said, offering to open the passenger side door for you.

"Wait, one second!" You quickly dashed over to where Eddie had knocked over Tina's decorative snowman and sat him upright. "What, you hit Frosty!" You exclaimed.

Eddie just laughed and shook his head before quickly scrambling around to the driver's side and hopping in. He shoved his keys into the ignition and turned the heat on full blast. "Don't worry, she heats up pretty fast."

As Eddie backed out of Tina's yard you noticed Steve's car was no longer where he had parked it when you first arrived. You hoped that Steve didn't leave alone, and also that he didn't leave without at least looking for you first. Given that you were hiding out in the pantry for most of the night, you gave him the benefit of the doubt that if he had known where you were, he would have given you the heads up.

The drive back to your place was mostly quiet, save for the music coming from Eddie's radio. He had the volume turned low and his window was cracked as he smoked a cigarette.

"May I?" You asked, motioning towards the cardboard box of cassette tapes that sat on the floorboard between the seats.

"Go for it," he replied as he slowed to a stop at a red light. "Find something to put on." He ejected his Iron Maiden cassette and placed it back in its plastic case, giving you free rein to choose whatever you wanted.

You rummaged through Eddie's music selection, marveling at his taste. He had everything from metal to punk, the classics, and- "Hall and Oates?" You asked, almost teasing him.

"What's wrong with Hall and Oates?" He asked, snatching the tape from your hands. "Kiss On My List? You Make My Dreams Come True? Can't help but love 'em, they're catchy."

"I completely agree," you replied, still shifting through the box. "I'm just surprised is all, would have thought that there wasn't enough guitar for you."

"It's not always about the guitar!"

You picked out Bruce Springsteen and gently pushed the tape into the cassette player. Eddie nodded in approval as he began humming along to the melody. The blue lights on the dashboard illuminated his soft features, making you realize how beautiful he really was. A small smile pulled at your lips as your eyes took in the sight of him, wondering how you never saw it before.

"You're staring," he taunted, stealing a quick glance before returning his eyes to the road.

"I'm sorry," you laughed but didn't take your eyes off of him. "I just- I never realized how beautiful you are."

"You think I'm beautiful?" He asked, placing a hand over his heart and batting his eyelashes at you.

"And silly," you giggled. "But, yes."

Eddie shook his head in response, unable to hold back his smile. "You know, I had the biggest crush on you in school."

"You did not!" You gasped.

"I totally did!" He replied. "It was bad. I would take the long way to class just so that I could walk past your locker. Man, those days after school when you'd come over to Gareth's to buy some weed and you'd hang out and listen to our band- fuck!" He was shaking his head; beautiful brunette curls bouncing on his shoulders.

"I had no idea," you replied. "You were always so quiet, I thought you didn't like me."

"You thought I- what? Didn't like you!?" He exclaimed. "Come on! How could any guy not like you? You're so fucking funny! Plus, you're like actually a good person. You're compassionate and kind and smart as Hell."

"Why tell me now?" You asked as your heart skipped beats.

"I don't know, it's New Years, why not?" He answered. "Why'd you ask me to kiss you back at Tina's?"

You shrugged, "because it's New Years, why not?" Eddie smiled at your response as he pulled up to the curb of your house. You unbuckled your seatbelt and turned to face him, "I'd offer for you to come in, but I know my mom is waiting up for me."

"That's okay," he replied softly. "I really want to kiss you again."

"Yeah?" You bit your lip under his gaze.

"Mhm," he hummed.

Eddie leaned in to place his lips on yours one more time. It was slow and sweet; soft, like the glow of his headlights reflecting on the flurries of snow falling from the dark, midnight sky. You would have never thought that this night would have ended this way, but you were so thankful that it did. You weren't sure what 1986 had in store for you, but you were determined to make sure that Eddie was a part of it.

"I appreciate the ride home," you said barely above a whisper as you pulled away. "I should probably get inside, I bet-" you turned to look at your house and saw your mother's figure at the window. "Yep, she's watching."

Eddie chuckled and climbed out of the van. You smiled as he rounded the hood of the vehicle to open the passenger door for you. "Let's not keep her waiting." You slid out of his van and gave him a hug before heading up your driveway. "Maybe I'll see you are Gareth's or something?"

"Or," you turned back to him. "Maybe you'll see me at that new pizza place that just opened up? Maybe around 7:00 on Friday?"

"It's a date," he called to you as he brought his hands up to his face in the shape of a camera one last time, taking a mental photo of you before the night ended.

#fast forward you've been dating eddie for a year and you get him a polaroid for christmas so he can take real photos #eddie munson #eddie munson fluff #eddie munson oneshot #eddie munson fic #eddie munson fan fiction #eddie munson imagine #eddie munson drabble #eddie munson x you #eddie munson x reader #eddie munson x y/n #stranger things imagine #stranger things fic #stranger things fluff #stranger things fanfiction #stranger things 4 #stranger things eddie #stranger things one shot #stranger things drabble #steve harrington #joseph quinn #joe quinn #joe keery #robin buckley #eddie x y/n #eddie x reader

[scmoobly]

Why I don't think Alexis is a villain.

not in the prime universe anyway. (Morally grey? Sure)

Warnings: (Mild language)

This post contains an analysis of "Getting Closer to your vampire Mate."

---

"The kind of friends that don't do much talkin' when they're together. If you catch my drift. I didn't want anything more than that out of her, and she kept saying she felt the same way."

▪︎OKAY, SO- right off the bat we understand that they were fuck-buddies. Consenting on both sides and a mutual agreement for it to stay that way. This is also while he was still human so it's safe to assume that he trusted her enough to spend time with her in that way.

-

"Anyway, I started getting the hint that she was expecting more out of all that than we'd agreed on. Certainly, more than I felt. So I told her as much. That it had been fun and all that happy crap, but that I wasn't wanting anything more with her. And if we were wanting different things out of it, it'd be best if we just closed up shop."

▪︎Noticed that his partner (in whatever sense of the word) wishes to be more than what they are and reiterates how he didn't feel the same way and told her that if expectations were being held then he thought it better to part ways. (Which is a good thing in my opinion. You'd wanna air these things out early so it doesn't get messy)

-

"The writing was on the wall. She was catching feelings. I wasn't. And I said we just needed to call it. Needless to say, she wasn't too happy about that but she agreed. I was driving us back from the dinner where we had it out."

▪︎Sam is extremely direct in the way he dealt with the situation and while Alexis probably felt hurt over it (Which she had a right to feel) she agreed to it. I'm stressing this to show that there was no initial aggression but an understanding of what was best for both of them. There was a reluctant compliance by Alexis and if that was out of respect for Sam or to protect her pride, we don't know. (Also Sam, sweetie. Who invites someone to dinner to reject them? I get you'd probably not wanna do that on the phone or by text but if someone asked me to go out to have dinner with them I wouldn't be expecting them to tell me to get gone. :")

-

"I was in a bad way. There was blood everywhere. Alexis was screaming, I could- I could barely hear her. Piece of the door was in me. Right here. It was real bad."

▪︎This was something I failed to notice the first few times I listened to the audio. Alexis was clearly panicking and worried for Sam. Sam brushes this off by saying he couldn't hear her but in my opinion, this is where the fact that Alexis was genuinely upset got lost on us as the listeners because we are being shown Sam's point of view. I'm not saying Sam is the bad guy here for overlooking Alexis's concern because as he said a piece of the door was in him so I'd imagine it'd be pretty hard to focus on somebody else's distress when you're bleeding out.

-

"We were out on some backroad. No one was gonna be able to get there on time. Alexis didn't know any magic that could've helped. But I was a healer. Damn good one. One of the best. I knew I could heal myself."

▪︎Here we can gather that there was no way to receive outside help and another important detail is that Alexis didn't know healing magic. So that begs the question that if she did know, would that have affected the situation differently? Also establishing that Sam was a good healer.

-

"I knew I could do it. And I told Alexis I could do it. Then she starts talking about turning me. And I told her no. And even if I can't. I don't want that. I don't wanna live like that."

▪︎As a vampire herself she knows that Sam's only guaranteed safety net for survival is to turn him. She was probably not thinking with the clearest headspace at that moment. She can smell and see the spilt blood and the damage done so she suggests the surefire way which Sam promptly rejects. He then says that he'd rather die a human than live as a vampire and that was when Alexis seems to have lost her edge. We know well that Alexis has feelings for Sam at this point. Whether they were feelings of love or just liking him isn't clear but if you've been sleeping with someone for a while and you want to take the relationship further then it probably wasn't some simple, impulsive decision she made overnight.

_

"I hated her for that. I still do. And I don't plan to stop anytime soon. She never even apologized."

▪︎obviously at first glance people are going to look at this as an extremely sadistic act. But what if her thought process was different? What if she didn't apologize because she didn't feel sorry? Not in a villainous way. She's not sorry because in her head she didn't let him die. She did what she could to save his life (while he was clearly telling her not to do it yes- but can you honestly tell me that if it was you in this situation you wouldn't have done everything you could to try to save someone you love? That it wouldn't hurt to know that you were so insignificant to them that you weren't worth living for in their eyes.)

-

"I don't know for sure what made her do it. If it really was her sick idea of mercy or if she saw it as some fucked up opportunity to keep me at her side forever."

▪︎I think this statement here is to make a point that this is all from Sam's perspective and Alexis's motive when it came to his turning weren't necessarily evil which most people consider it to be.

---

She hasn't even shown up in the canon universe yet, so it's a little surprising the amount of hate she gets. I even saw someone outright call her an abuser and while she betrayed Sam and turned him against his will, it's not made clear yet that she did it because she wanted to hurt him. Alexis does her part to actively avoid Sam and doesn't gloat in his face about how the situation played out. Maybe she doesn't feel sorry or guilty about it but again reaches an understanding that she shouldn't hope for a relationship with Sam in the future and respects that. In light of that statement, let's back track to something Sam has said.

8:49 Cuddles and confessions with your vampire mate; "I also know that the way we throw ourselves at the world doesn't have to reflect the way we tackle everything in life. People aren't simple. We all exist in shades.."

This post wasn't meant to justify her actions but rather to go for a deep dive into how Alexis is as a character.

I still cry listening to Sam explain his turning. Yes it was cruel and Alexis was in the wrong for doing things the way she did but is there space to assume that her intentions weren't evil? Yes, absolutely.

Feel free to correct me if I get anything wrong, I'm very much open to conversation.

#redacted alexis #redacted sam #redacted audio #redacted asmr #redacted darlin #redacted solaire clan #redacted headcanons #headcanons #sam x darlin #redacted vampires #redacted william

[spaceisout]

sweet + sour

Pairing: Dabi x F!Reader

Words: 1.9k ish

A/n: I honestly do not know what the plot is I just decided to write it and finally finish it. I hope you like lol any feedback is appreciated! 🌷

- - -

It was complicated to say the least.

You somehow ended up being friends with a villain that had attacked your friends not once but three times. Were you insane? Maybe, it all depends on how people actually take time to think things through.

Of course you don't condone what the villains have done to innocent people. And you also clearly aren't siding with them either. But knowing how you have such a soft heart, more or else you somehow understood why he was the way he was.

"Hey, (last name)!" Midoriya yelled as he caught up with you.

You stopped and looked over your shoulder. Softly smiling you said, "Hey, Midoriya. What's up?"

"The others and I were talking about going to a karaoke near the school." He explained, "Would you like to come along?"

"Today?"

He nodded. "It's when everyone is mostly free and since midterms are over we thought it'd be a nice way to unwind and relax."

"I actually have to do something first back at the dorms." You said, "Would you mind sending me the address so I can meet up with you guys later?"

"Sure." Midoriya took out his phone and quickly messaged you the name and address. "Do you want me to wait for you―?"

Shaking your head you checked your phone seeing the text had gone through.

"No worries, I won't be long." You assured him, "I should be there in about 10 minutes."

"Well, alright then. Let me know if you need anything."

You softly smiled, "I will!"

After parting ways with your friend you made your way towards the dorms alone. In all honesty it felt kinda nice, arriving back by yourself without any yelling for once. You did appreciate your friends a lot and were thankful, but sometimes with all the chaos around you it always felt nice to have some quiet time.

As you entered the building you saw someone standing there looking at the picture frames that were hung up on the huge green wall.

You immediately stopped moving as panic began to course through your veins.

"I didn't realize you were this close to them." They said, "I admit I'm kinda jealous that we don't have even one photo together."

Your head immediately turned in all directions, hoping there wasn't a single soul around. Especially not Mr. Aizawa who was known to appear and disappear in an instant.

"What are you doing here?" You whispered quickly walking over to him. "How did you even get in?!"

He turned around with one hand behind his head smiling at you.

"I was able to sneak in through your window. Also you really need a new door, it keeps creaking when you open it."

"Dabi…" You sighed, "I told you that you can't show up just like this… anyone could have walked in and see you."

"Don't worry, I overheard you and that Midoriya kid talking about everyone going to karaoke." He explained, "I doubt anyone else is left in the building."

"Well yeah― that doesn't mean that my teacher is gone though."

"Come on, (name) you're over worrying about nothing."

Dabi walked closer to you and opened his arms. "Is it a crime to want and see my favorite doll?"

You knew he meant well still the feeling of someone walking in and seeing you both together did not sit well.

But you couldn't resist, walking closer to him you wrapped your arms around his torso and hugged him tightly. A smile rested on his face as he wrapped his arms around your figure, inhaling your scent.

"These class 1-A idiots are stealing you away from me." He said, "I haven't even been able to see you in almost a month because of them."

"That's not true," you muttered closing your eyes and enjoying his warmth. "You also have been busy and have been gone weeks on trips without talking to me either."

"Because I can't risk your safety." Dabi petted the top of your head. "You know they're already on to me thinking I have a girlfriend and all that crap."

Chuckling you looked up at him, "I mean it wouldn't surprise me if you do end up finding one later on."

"Why go looking when she might be standing in front of me?" He teased.

Blushing you looked away, "You're unbelievable."

"Hey, (last name)!"

Your body froze.

"Shit…" Dabi cursed under his breath as he realized you two have been caught.

"Deku keeps asking about you idiot! How much longer―" Bakugo's eyes glared at the mysterious figure. "What the― who the hell is this?"

Thankful that Dabi's back was facing him, you pulled away and stepped forward.

"He's just… an old friend who came by for a visit." You nervously spoke.

"Does Mr. Aizawa know?" He questioned not believing anything you were saying.

"O―Of course!" You quickly said. "My friend was actually about to leave, he was just passing by since he has stuff to do."

Bakugo's gaze focused on him, still feeling hesitant. "He can't talk or what?"

"Well… he tends to be a bit shy is all." You answered looking away, "But once he gets to know someone he doesn't stop talking at all!"

"Mhm."

You saw the way he was looking at Dabi, his glare became intense.

"What did Midoriya want by the way?" you asked, shifting his focus back on to you.

"That bastard won't shut up about you." He rolled his eyes, "Can you fucking hurry up and go?! I don't want to keep hearing him complaining."

"I'll be right there―"

"Whatever." Bakugo grumbled and stomped out of the dorms already feeling too annoyed to even stay any longer.

Breathing a sigh of relief you said, "Why don't we meet up afterwards instead?" You suggested. "That way they won't keep wondering where I am―"

"Can't you just make up an excuse?"

Turning your head you looked at him, his eyes were casted down. A look of sadness formed in those bright blue orbs.

"Dabi… did you want to hangout today?"

He looked off to the side, feeling himself turning red for admitting that he did not want them stealing your attention.

"Why didn't you say anything? You know I like spending time with you too."

"It seems like you enjoy spending time with them more."

"Well they're my friends." You said getting closer to him hoping he'll look at you. "Of course I like hanging out with them and you. You're one of my best friends, Dabi."

"I'm your best friend?…"

You nodded, "Well yeah… I mean unless you don't see me like someone close―"

Dabi sighed tilting his head back to the ceiling, "You're an idiot." He mumbled.

Tilting your head to the side you asked him confused, "What?"

He turned to look at you, "I never said I didn't consider you someone close to me. If that was true I wouldn't insist on seeing you."

"True…" you muttered looking down at your feet in shame. "I―I shouldn't have… second guessed anything…"

"No you shouldn't have." Dabi took a step forward, surprising you as he held your cheeks with both of his hands. "I like being around you doll, as embarrassed as I am to say this but… I miss you when you're not next to me."

Slowly you looked up at him, "You― wait really?… I mean I'm not going to you know― doubt what you're saying… but you usually seem like you're comfortable being with Toga too."

"She's someone I have to work with, she's a colleague. Of course she is somewhat tolerable though." He explained, however the way he looked at you said something else. "Believe me if you were the one in her place instead I wouldn't hesitate to go to work everyday if it meant seeing you."

Your heart started to flutter, you felt it could fly away any second as you heard him speak. Never did you realize that maybe Dabi would feel that way about you. Of course your friendship started in such a random way, in your mind you thought it would disappear one day but you were taught wrong as the days passed by.

"You're making me feel like an idiot here… the least you can do is respond, you know?"

"R―Right, well I… I actually do not know what to say." You admitted looking away from him, "You are usually self reserved, hearing you talk like that… it's a surprise… but it feels comforting. It's nice to hear you say what you feel."

Dabi's face flushed a dark red, yet it made him feel happy that you were comfortable with him being more open.

"Why don't we go and hangout in your room?" He suggested moving his hand to hold the back of your neck gently as his thumb brushed across your cheek bone. "That way you won't feel as anxious in case someone comes in."

Y―Yeah." You stuttered, feeling nervous about being alone with him.

Before it was a normal occurrence, he used to always come see you at night. Whether it was during your studying time or when you were about to sleep, you never denied him to come inside.

But with all the things he said, it made it feel even more intimate. Dabi was someone you could always count on and trust, yet somehow your heart was beating rapidly than it normally would.

As quickly as you could you unlocked your dorm room and walked inside. You breathed a sigh of relief feeling safe knowing no one would see you two.

As he walked into your room he noticed a picture hanging above your desk. Squinting his eyes, he got closer and realized it was taken during your first time you hung out together.

You decided to change out of your uniform and into some more comfier clothes in the bathroom. When you walked out you saw him still standing in front of your desk.

"Hey, everything alright?" you asked walking over to him.

"I didn't know you had taken a photo that day." He spoke not moving from his spot.

"Oh," you blushed. "I―I was going to tell you but I did not want to make you feel weird since it was the first time we hung out when I was in Kyoto for the weekend."

"You should have told me," he said turning around to face you and took a step forward towards you. "Here I was acting jealous when I shouldn't of have to begin with."

You played with your fingers, "Dabi you shouldn't feel jealous… I treasure our friendship a lot. I do not wish… to think that one day it might end."

"Doll," he sat down at the edge of your bed. "My life expectancy is low you know that with the type of work I do."

"I know…" You mumbled, "But you always come back no matter what happens. I―I mean you said it and you have kept that promise since the beginning."

A faint smile rested on his lips, extending his hand out to you. You took the signal and walked over to him, holding his hand.

"I actually said it as a more of a comfort for me." He admitted as you sat down next to him. "I didn't use to care about staying alive but knowing that you're counting on me and I have someone like you… it has been the source that makes me come back."

"Dabi…" you softly said as you held his cheek carefully, being afraid of hurting him more than he already was. "If you need to have a reason then use me as it, I want you to keep living. No matter what happens I know that one day you will be able to live the life you want."

"How can you have such high hopes for me?"

Smiling small you leaned in and kissed his cheek, his eyes closed feeling your lips against his burned flesh. "Because you are still human and someone who has been through so much still deserves to have their good ending."

Dabi's heart began to pick up its rhythm. Having you this close to him was something he's wanted for a long time. He was hesitant to say anything to ruin the friendship he had built with you. You meant everything to him but it was difficult to stop himself from admitting his feelings to you.

"Do you have any work you need to get done?" He asked.

"I managed to finish everything, I only one thing to do but it's not urgent." You answered, "Do you want to watch a movie? I can order us some food."

He tucked a loose strand of hair behind your ear, "That sounds nice actually. You don't mind if I stay late tonight?"

"Not at all." You smiled looking at him, "I was going to head home until tomorrow morning."

"Finally," he threw his head back looking up at the ceiling then back at you. "We can stay up late."

"Hey, I like getting my hours of sleep in."

"Still, there's nothing bad about staying up late once in awhile you know."

You rolled your eyes playfully, "Yeah yeah."

――――――

"Is the food almost here?" Dabi asked as he looked over your shoulder at your phone.

"It should be here…." you mumbled looking at the info shown on the screen. "In a minute, it's actually around the corner."

"Finally… I was starving." He whined, resting his chin on your shoulder.

"Don't be impatient." You chuckled, "I'll go get it now."

"Don't leave me yet," Dabi muttered as he hugged you tighter around your waist.

You turned your head to look at him. "I won't be long," gently you ran your fingers through his hair. "I'll be quick."

"Mhmm." He closed his eyes enjoying the way your fingers easily glide through his black locks.

After a minute of peaceful silence and sound approvals from him he reluctantly let you go because he was hungry.

Quietly you walked out of your room and headed towards the entrance to the pick up the food from the delivery driver.

"Thank you." You said taking the bag of food and turning back to head inside.

"(name)!" Mina exclaimed.

"Crap…" you muttered to yourself and looked to your left to see everyone making their way towards the dorms.

"We missed you!" Hagakure said as she hugged you tightly.

"We were waiting on you but Bakugo said you had a friend over." Sero said.

"oh uh ha ha y―yeah." You chuckled awkwardly.

Mina furrowed her eyebrows looking at you intently.

Your averted her gaze knowing she was trying to read you.

"You have a boyfriend don't you?!" She accused.

"W―well… he is a boy and he is as friend―"

"You're telling me someone already got to you first before I had a chance?!" Kaminari yelled, "I'll kill him!"

"Who are you going to tell, Kaminari?" Sero questioned, crossing his arms in front of his chest, not believing what he was saying.. "You easily get scared when someone talks to you when you're not paying attention."

"T―that is not true!"

"Is it that idiot from earlier?" Bakugo spoke.

"You saw him?!" Mina yelled, shaking him back and forth by his collared shirt.

"Get the hell off of me you alien eyes!"

The bakusquad gathered around him, questioning him about everything and anything that had to do with your secret mysterious boyfriend.

Midoriya, Iida, Todoroki, Uraraka, and Yaoyorozu walked over to you not wanting to do anything with what was going on behind them.

"Do you really have… a boyfriend?" Midoriya asked.

You shook your head, "No no no, he isn't my boyfriend I swear!"

"We believe you, it's just…" Uraraka paused trying to think of a way to say what she wanted to without doubting you. "You look a bit flustered."

"I'm flustered b―because I'm embarrassed."

"Not to over ask but isn't that a big bag of food for two people?" Todoroki asked.

"She's probably under fed and needed some extra food." Iida answered for you, feeling relief he at least wasn't doubting what you were saying.

"R―Right of course!' Yaoyorozu agreed. "I have to do the same because of my quirk.

And to add more fuel to the fire your phone rang and the screen lit up with a single letter, D <;3.

It caught everyone's attention, including the bakusquad.

"Sorry guys…" you apologized and answered the phone. "Hey…"

"Hey, what's taking you so long?"

"Oh hey, no I'm just talking with some of my friends. And you?"

Dabi walked over to your window and slightly peeked from behind the curtains to see you surrounded by all of your classmates. An idea popped into his head.

"Do you need me to get you out of there?" Dabi couldn't help but smile at how nervous and cute you looked.

"No not at all, I'm fine… really." You assured him smiling as you looked at your friends.

"Put me on speaker, I'm sure they're dying to hear from me." He suggested, "I can help you get away."

"It's fine."

"Put him on speaker!" Mina exclaimed.

Dabi breathed out a laugh, amused by your friends persistence. "Come on doll."

"Okay." You moved your phone away from your ear and pressed on the button. "You're on speaker―"

"Are you really her boyfriend?!" Kaminari yelled out hiding slightly behind Kirishima.

"Hey, well to be honest I have made anything official yet."

Dabi had changed his voice, it didn't sound anything like him, it felt you were talking to someone different.

"No surprise there." Bakugo spoke.

"I will soon though I doubt you'll be able to beat me though."

"What the hell did you say?!" Bakugo got pulled back by Kirishima and Kaminari. "I'll beat your ass you―"

"Kacchan!" Midoriya yelled, "Calm down."

"Are you serious about her or are you two just friends?" Yaoyorozu asked.

"We are friends, I have known her for a while but can't deny she makes my heart go crazy when I see her." Dabi answered.

The back of your eyes turned red, along with your cheeks.

"You shouldn't say those things…" You said.

"I'm not lying when I say that you are special, (name)."

"Okay that is kinda cute." Tsu said.

"Sounds to me like it won't be long before you make a move." Mina teased looking at you.

"Maybe." Dabi chuckled. "It was nice talking to you guys, but I have to go."

"Awe! so soon mysterious boyfriend?" Hagakure pouted.

"I'll make sure to let (name) pass the phone to speak to you guys again."

"You wish!" Bakugo exclaimed.

"For sure, maybe next time we can have a longer conversation." Kirishima spoke.

"Take care of her for me alright ladies?" Dabi asked, "I know the guys will do as well."

"We will make sure your little flower is taken care of." Mina smiled.

"Fore sure!" Uraraka chimed in, "We promise."

"Ribbit!" Tsu said.

"You guys make me feel reassured, I'll talk to you guys next time!"

Everyone bit him goodbye, you put him off speaker and walked inside with everyone following you.

Quickly you made your way towards your room hoping to avoid any questions your classmates might have.

"Did that help?" He walked away from the window and sat down on the bed.

"You made me turn red, Dabi." you whispered. "I almost did not recognize your voice."

"I had to change it given that they already know who I am."

"I know… I just did not expect it. I'm almost at my room, I'll see you in a sec."

Hanging up you opened your door and walked inside, Dabi took the bag from your hands and put it on your desk.

"Did you like my voice?"

You shook your head, "I… like your normal voice."

"Really?" he bit his bottom lip smiling.

"It suits you better."

He couldn't help but wrap his arms around your waist from behind, you could feel his breath tickling your neck. ''Being your boyfriend… would that suit me better too?"

Your face turned beet red, you covered your face with your hands feeling your heart beating out of your chest.

"You're cute when you blush."

"Y―you shouldn't say stuff like that…" you muttered.

"Why not?"

"B―because…" you stuttered getting out of his hold. "You only say those words when you mean them n―not just to joke around."

Dabi then moved to stand in front of you, blocking your way. You were too shy to look at him in the eyes. However he did not back own and took your hands.

"Who said I was joking around, doll?"

"You always say stuff like that…" you mumbled, "And laugh every time I get beet red by your comments."

"Have you noticed that you are the only constant female in my life?"

"Well yeah... doesn't mean you might fall for someone in the future―"

"If that had been the case I would be with them and not with you right now." He pointed out, "Look at me doll."

You felt hesitation, deep down you hoped your feelings would be reciprocated. Then again if he did and your relationship failed you would also lose a dear friend in the process, something you did not want to face.

"Please..."

With those simple letters you were always a sucker for him.

Giving in, you tilted your head to look at him in the eyes. His blue orbs shining brightly as he looked down into your beautiful (eye color) orbs.

"I really do, like you (name)."

Your eyes widened at his confession, you were too stunned to speak.

"I do not want you think that I'm joking around and only hope to get something from you because that isn't what I want." He sincerely spoke, bringing your face closer to yours. "I want to be with you― even if it means sneaking around and visiting you until midnight when everyone else is asleep."

"I―I like you too... I have for awhile now but I-I don't want our friendship to end if it doesn't turn out to be like how we hoped it would―"

"No relationship is going to be perfect, doll." His eyes scanned all your beautiful features from the way your dimples that rested on your cheeks when you smiled to the beauty mark you have on your (your face feature) that complimented your (color skin) skin. "I won't lie and say that I will be perfect for you because hell― I'm not! I think you deserve better than me but I don't want to keep pretending like I don't have feelings for you."

"Honestly..." a faint smile rested on your lips, "Even if others confess to me I would tell them no... because you are the only one I want to sneak around with in the middle of the night."

"Are we... giving this a chance then?..."

You nodded, "I want to."

You never thought that it would be possible to see Dabi smile so big. It wasn't the same smile he gave you whenever he saw you, it was different. This smile actually reached his eyes.

He demonstrated actual happiness.

With wide smiles you both leaned in, feeling your noses bump against each other before your lips finally connected as one.

Your eyes closed trying to remember this moment, your first time kissing one another with no intention of it going over board. It was a kiss between two people that cared deeply about each other.

Dabi could feel his heart racing rapidly, feeling it thump against his rib cage. It was scary to him, knowing he now had someone important in his life that he knew he needed to protect at all costs. Without a doubt it may bring chaos and put him in danger but that didn't matter to him. All that mattered was that he had you, you were finally his.

After a minute of slow kissing you both pulled away, resting against each other's forehead with heavy breathing.

He smiled widely and pecked your lips, "You're so damn beautiful."

A villain and a hero in training, who would have thought.

#dabi #dabi x reader #bnha x reader #mha x reader #bnha fluff #mha fluff #bnha fanfiction #mha fanfiction #bnha dabi #mha dabi #bnha masterlist #mha masterlist #bnha fanfic idea #mha fanfic idea #bnha #mha

[emmettland]

believe it or not, writing a self-indulgent fic featuring Sam as a stripper and Lucifer as his abusive sugar daddy has got me thinking about the Winchester boys' views on gender and how Dean perceives Sam's gender.

(this is by no means an extensive analysis with cited evidence, just a bunch of speculation that ultimately is my headcanon.)

i think it's safe to say that neither Sam nor Dean were raised very progressive. in particular, they were raised in a patriarchal household with misogynistic values, of which we can see Dean clearly exemplify. Sam has been able to break free to an extent on account of:

A. being the lowest tier of the household (John and Dean get to make the decisions, and if Sam tries to, it's wrong) B. being queer-coded in ways that would make him a metaphorical target of the patriarchal household C. fitting the 'progressive college student' stereotype, in which a character raised in a conservative or 'not politically correct' family goes off to college and learns how to become 'politically correct' (which we've seen in Sam and Dean's dynamic; Dean uses an outdated term, Sam typically corrects him). and it should be worth noting that Stanford is rated as the most progressive college in the U.S.

we've seen in canon that Dean has a 'you do you' attitude when it comes to sexual orientation. he'll make homophobic jokes, but he ultimately doesn't care if someone is queer (though he seems to care when someone else perceives him as queer because that feeds into his misogynistic values; i don't think we've ever seen him get angry, but at the very least, he feels offended or insecure).

i feel like Dean would mostly have the same 'you do you' attitude in regards to gender identity, except:

A. he would still adhere to the transphobic values that practically go hand-in-hand with the misogynistic ones. like, he wouldn't refuse to use someone's pronouns (though neo-pronouns may be a different story*), but he would crack jokes about them being 'too manly' or 'too girly' for their preferred gender with someone else (probably Sam; Dean seems to get somewhat of a kick out of saying 'the wrong thing' for Sam to correct him). B. Cas -- or IMO, the writers make a transphobic joke in one episode: "I saw a female, but I don't think she was a female." he possibly uses 'it' instead of 'she', but i don't remember. i ascribe this to the writers and not the character because we really don't have any reason to think angels would have this mindset, unless you make the argument that their gender changes according to what body they possess (though i feel like at least one angel has still kept their original pronouns despite changing bodies, but again, i don't remember). anyways, this comment is made towards Dean, who does nothing to correct or challenge Cas, and his lack of a reaction suggests that he knows what Cas is referring to and doesn't particularly disagree with him. maybe he's choosing not to say anything, but it's still a stark contrast to the um actually attitude Sam has (and i say that as an um actually guy lol). *i really can't imagine Dean using neo-pronouns. i think he would dismiss them as stupid 'new generation' crap (not that they are), and if he did try to use them, he would make a big deal about how hard it is and make offensive (hilarious to him) suggestions for 'easier' pronouns

i'm not gonna say that Sam is the exact opposite of Dean's views on gender identity, because A. we don't have enough concrete evidence for either of their views and B. Sam was raised by John too, just in a younger generation and with the three things listed above that make him more resistant to John/Dean's misogynistic/transphobic values.

Sam most likely shares some thoughts similar to his brother's, but he keeps them to himself and has probably learned to challenge them at this point, given his time in Stanford. for the most progressive college in the U.S., you can't tell me he hasn't met at least one trans and/or non-binary student on campus.

sooo...Dean = ignorant (but not intolerant) and Sam = educated (but not obnoxious), right? it's just that simple? i think that's what the narrative would have us believe.

HOWEVER,

i personally see Sam as Dean's one and only exception. Cas would be one to the extent that angels can change vessels, and so Dean would probably default to whatever pronouns Cas uses there. but if Sam decided to deviate from his assigned gender, or become gender non-conforming in any sense of the word? Dean would be forced to adapt.

i think he would give Sam shit for it at first. as much as i love Trans Ally Dean, i don't see that happening smoothly or instantly. because it's not just his values being threatened here, it's the identity of 'baby brother' that Dean has attached to Sam, an identity that he refuses to let Sam escape throughout the series, which causes a significant amount of conflict (especially since his own identity of 'big brother' takes away so much of Sam's autonomy).

so if Sam was no longer his brother*, that would be a huge deal to Dean. it would feel like another betrayal, like Sam was just doing everything in his power to get away from him, like he was changing way too much and that change is terrifying, because what if this new Sam, this person who isn't his 'brother', doesn't feel the same way about Dean?

*in the case of Sam being GNC and still identifying as male, i think Dean would still give him shit for it, but moreso in their typical brothers-teasing-brothers way, and probably not realize it actually getting to Sam until it inevitably led to conflict and Dean learned to start holding his tongue. he doesn't want to hurt Sam.

but once Dean can accept that the change in Sam's gender identity doesn't mean he's a whole different person now, and doesn't mean that he loves Dean any less, i think that's when Dean's 'idc you do you' attitude would transform into Relentless Supporter of My No Longer Cis Sibling. that's when Dean would do his reading, and traverse the internet, and start to challenge some of the misconceptions he's grown up with.

because not only will Dean love Sam as any gender or with any orientation, but he will protect Sam no matter what, and if knowledge is the best weapon in this case, Dean will arm himself to the teeth with it. he will not let a single nasty look or offensive comment or invasive question go by unpunished, because that is his Sammy, always and forever, and nobody gets to make his Sammy feel uncomfortable or feel judged for being who he is.

so. wtf does this have to do with the fic?

i know i said Sam was Dean's only exception (and maybe not only, but he would be the biggest one), but the other exception i see is Dean's libido; his sex drive doesn't think or care about the values instilled upon him, and if anything, there's probably something particularly exciting, in that taboo forbidden kind of way, about contradicting and challenging those values in his sexual fantasies. like how Dean has canonically worn pink panties and liked it.

AND THAT'S HOW THE FIC SPURRED THIS LINE OF THOUGHT. i was rereading the part where Dean imagines Sam pregnant and wondering would he make any comments about this? would he feel weirded out because Sam is a man, should i add something that acknowledges that and Dean's 'men can't get pregnant' belief?

the answer: no. i'm 100% sure Dean would say something if it was brought up in conversation (probably by Dean, as a joke), but within his own sexual fantasies, i really don't think he cares. the best part is taking care of his baby brother and being allowed to take care of him, because Sam needs him to do so; doesn't matter how that happens, as long as it does happen.

aaand if it just happens to align with the 'women need to be taken care of' idea in Dean's misogynistic values, ergo assigning another feminine quality to his brother...well...

#emmett's spn tag #emmett speaks

[sinisteryanderescribe]

Hi there, I’m Mitsuyasbabgirl, it’s so nice to meet you. 

I’ve been low key reading your Tokyo Revengers live action  and I’m so in love with your work. I love how you writes for the characters from Tokyo Revengers live action and how you are able to write their characters so well. 🥰

anyways, I was wondering if you could take my request ?

May I request Draken or Baji. I don’t know how many characters you are to write, but you think you could do 

write a tough goth female reader with tattoos and gauges ? She is known for being sassy,tough, has a dark sense of humor, grouchy, aggressive,and sarcastic to those around her. Reader doesn’t really take any crap from any one and Reader is also not that touchy or clingy kind of person. 

If you are not okay with this request.

Could I request something else like, could you do a request chifuyu or Baji dating a female foreigner whose really sweet and kind hearted? Like she just love life and love to spend time with chifuyu or Baij and love to do fun activities/little outing/ dates with him and love to do simple thing in daily life with him, like Reader really day dream about having life with him and maybe start family with him one day ? Reader is such a tight knit family kind of girl, so it won’t be just Chifuyu or Baij she spends time with, but his mom as well and she believe getting to know her’s other significant family is a important to her. Reader such helpless romantic heart, but reader also appreciate the little thing chifuyu or Baij does in her day to day life, especially love spending quality time with him and his mom.

I hope I’m not asking too much and please Ignore any of these requests if make you uncomfortable any way.

~Sweet Devil~

::: DRABBLE :::

::: Female Reader :::

::: Fluff / SFW :::

::: Ken Ryuguji (Draken) / Baji Keisuke (separate) :::

Note : It’s nice to meet you! Thank you so much dear, I’m really glad you love it. English isn’t my first language and I’m still learning it so this means so much to me! Apologies for the late reply , the WiFi here sucks. ❤️❤️❤️

…………………………………………………………………………….

…………………………………………………………………………….

Draken

Draken was wild individual, a founding member of Toman who also lived life on his own terms. He was known for his fierce determination and his unrelenting spirit. He had struggled through a lot in life, but he refused to let those struggles define him. Instead, he pushed forward with a sense of purpose and a drive to succeed.

Despite his wild nature, Draken was also incredibly mature and logical. He understood the importance of making wise decisions and he always thought carefully before acting. He knew that his actions had consequences, and he didn't want to make any mistakes that he couldn't fix.

The former vice-leader met you during a fight between two gangs and was shocked to find you easily defending yourself without a sweat, wincing each time a broken bone was heard. You were tough….very tough. Scanning your appearance your body was covered in tattoos, scars and gauges in your ears. Not very common to find girls who dress like that. Upon learning more about you , you were known for being sassy, aggressive, grouchy, and sarcastic towards those around you with a dark sense of humor ; you definitely weren’t afraid to show it.

Draken himself questioned how the hell the both of you got together.

Despite your tough exterior, Draken found out that after a year of dating your shell began to break and started becoming deeply affectionate towards him, learning how much the both of you had so much in common. You loved to have his head lay on your chest and would do anything to make him feel loved and appreciated in which he gladly accepted, hearing your heartbeat calmed down his nerves,’ ; the feeling of your soft hand caressing his hair and cheek while the other held his hand rubbing in small shapes with your thumb. Even though you didn't like to show affection in public, when you were alone, you become a completely different person that only he was able to witness, and that in itself was a luxury for him and only him.

The Toman thug found you to be incredibly respectable and beautiful. He admired your strength and your ability to handle difficult situations with ease. He loved the way you stood up for yourself and refused to take any crap from anyone. He could tell that you were the real deal, and he was proud to be with you.

Together, the both of you faced many challenges, but always managed to come out on top. You were a formidable duo, and your love for each other only grew stronger with each passing day. Draken knew that he had found something special in you and he was determined to hold onto you for as long as he could.

Baji Keisuke

Baji was born and raised in a rough neighborhood where he learned to survive the challenges with or without his friends. He had always been a thrill-seeker and a daredevil from a young age ; loved the rush of adrenaline that came with dangerous activities like burning a car whenever hunger strikes him or beating up a gang out of boredom. His wild personality and fearless attitude made him stand out from the crowd.

Baji was also fiercely loyal to his gang , Toman , . He grew up with these guys and they had become a family to him. He would do anything to protect them, even if it meant putting himself in harm's way. Toman was his life, and he cherished their camaraderie and brotherhood.

During one of the days after a Toman meeting Baji stumbled upon you through an alleyway, gripping the hair of a bloodied up thug, which caused him to raise an eyebrow. That guy was twice your size yet he looked to be already 6 feet under. Taking in your unusual dark appearance ( for a girl at least ) he saw an aggressive female with tattoos and piercings all over her body each one telling a different story. The founding Toman member was immediately drawn to your fierce and powerful personality. He loved how you didn't take crap from anyone and stood up for yourself and others who were on your good list. You were unlike any girl he had ever met before, and he found you irresistible.

Despite your differences, shockingly enough fate must have brought the both of you together, seeing how he was now dating the “ devil’s daughter” as people liked to call her yet her aggressive and bold personality is what made him fall for her hard. He loved her tattoos and piercings ; loved tracing his fingers over them teasingly each time you swat his hand away with a lighthearted glare. Especially the gauges in your ears that he loved to nibble on and bite, just to see your scowling blushing face. You were tough on the outside, but with Baji , you could be vulnerable and soft just for once. The Toman thug would cheer every time he would achieve a cuddling session with you. Sharing intimate moments that nobody else knew about.

He would even pretend to be asleep just to feel the tender affection you give him without his knowledge of it, fingers tracing his cheek down to his neck and a delicate kiss on his forehead.

The lines haired male’s loyalty to his gang extended to you. He saw you as part of his family and would do anything to protect you. He knew that you were strong and capable of taking care of yourself but he still felt the need to be your protector, your his girl after all ; nobody messes with his women. You may not look like it but Baji knew you were fiercely loyal to your loved ones, and would sacrifice yourself to ensure their safety. Even though you don’t show it.

In the end, yours and baji’s relationship prevailed. The both of you continued to face challenges and obstacles, but you faced them together. Baji’s wild personality and love for the rush of a delinquent life didn't disappear, but he found a new thrill in loving and protecting you. You were the missing piece in his life, and he was grateful to have found you.

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#tokyo rev x reader #draken tokyo revengers #tokyo revengers baji #x reader #x fem reader #c female reader #romance #cute #tokyo revengers #sexy #tokyo revengers live action #tokyo revengers x reader #baji keisuke x reader #baji keisuke #baji fluff #draken fluff #draken x reader #ken ryuuguji x reader #ken ryuuguji #sfw #fluff

[wuffgang-ameowdeus-moozart]

Oh no I am an anxious wreck once again. What now?

Here are a few tipps and tricks that help me personally to deal with anxiety (plus some I know work for others). Please feel free to add your own coping mechanisms in the notes!!!! Even though I technically know means to calm myself down, I always forget everything when I'm in the thick of it, so while this is mainly a reminder for myself I hope this list can help at least one other person as well :)

First of all: emotions are hard, and they are overwhelming, and shaming yourself will not make it better. Chances are it will make everything worse, actually. So don't you dare feel bad for needing help even with the "easy" stuff, or for not being able to endure as much as your peers, or even for half-assing stuff sometimes. It's fine. Like, for real. I promise it's okay. You don't need to always be at your best. You don't even need to be at your best most of the time.

What helps me personally is imagining that these struggles are affecting another person close to me. If my best friend were to call me because she needs help answering an E-Mail, or even to cancel last minute because she feels too overwhelmed to leave her house right now, I would never make her feel like crap because of it or talk about her behind her back or anything else your brain may be trying to convince you of. I know that she is at least as good a person as me (probably better tbh), so if I wouldn't do any of that, she certainly would never. In fact, believing these thoughts is actually a disservice to her, who did nothing to deserve these mean remarks (quite the opposite actually). Basically, try to twist and out-logic your own brain into being less of a cunt to you. Try guilt-tripping yourself into being kinder. The bad emotions are there anyways, might as well use them to your advantage. I can speak from experience that being anxious is a bit less unbearable if you aren't being a self-obsessed asshole on top of everything else

JUST FUCKING DO IT

If the source of your anxiety isn't a particular task you have been procrastinating on, or is something you can't just do whenever (f. ex. a job interview that's two days away), feel free to skip this part ^^

If you are still here: I know it can feel like actual hell to just do the thing. If you immediately want to click away after seeing this title I don't blame you. I mean, I am currently writing a huge ass post about anxiety instead of answering the two (2) E-Mails literally making my hands tremble. But the truth is, doing the thing is actually never as bad as it seems. Here's some stuff that maybe can help:

-> Remember that it's never been the end of the world before, so surely it won't start being it now. If you've already been through a similar situation: remember that it isn't the first time you've felt this way; remember that doing the thing wasn't as bad as you'd feared and, most importantly; remember how you felt after doing it. If this is the first time you feel like that, I'm sorry. I promise you aren't stupid for "overreacting", and I promise it will feel at least a little bit better if you just get it over with. And when you've managed the first time, you can now use that as an example instead of taking some stranger on the internet on his word. Worst comes to worst, you can still anon hate me (jk please don't)

-> Rewarding yourself. Remember that putting yourself down tends to make things worse. Allow yourself to be proud for your achievements, yes even the small ones that most people barely even think about. Because sometimes shit is just hard, but you still did it, and that's fucking awesome !!! For me personally just the knowledge that my anxiety will lessen (and I will probably get some good sleep - emotions are so fucking exhausting) is enough most of the time, but you can also give yourself a little treat afterwards. You've earned it!

-> Hide it in between chill tasks. Like right now, I'm writing this instead of my fucking E-Mail. I am a bit calmer since this is distracting myself from the daunting task of typing a few words. So I am now going to open my mails on another tab, type this shit, and send it. And I know that when I did that I will feel better about myself. And even if I fuck up somehow (how you ask? i don't fucking know), I will immediately have this task to come back to so I don't have the chance to overthink it. I FUCKING DID IT I AM THE CHAMPION OF THE WORLD

-> If you have a bunch of stuff you swore yourself you would do (a bunch can also mean like 2 btw) starting can seem even more daunting (even if it is, as aforementioned, "only" two). So I am very happy to present written lists my absolute beloved. In my experience, stuff is a lot less overwhelming if it isn't only living inside your head. You get a feeling of accomplishment when you can cross something off your list. You don't have to keep panicking about forgetting something (since everything is already written down on your list.) You can even break down bigger tasks into smaller more manegeable ones (f. ex. instead of "clean your room" -> "1. do your bed; 2. fold your clothes; 3. etc etc".) It's great because even if you don't manage the entire big task you still feel less like a failure since you've got proof of all the small accomplishments you did manage. Plus it's easier to continue on another day since you know exactly what you have to do and have proof of everything you already managed as a motivator.

-> Accept help. Be on the phone with a friend while doing the thing (if possible, of course). Ask your friends to be your hypeman before and after doing the thing. Get reassurance from other people. Go to your friend's house to ask them to read your E-Mails, summarize them verbally, and then type an appropriate answer for you (can you already tell me and electronic mail aren't in the best of terms?) Making things harder on yourself on purpose isn't being strong it's being stupid

-> already mentioned it a bunch of times, I know, but the thing that really helps for me is comparing with past experiences. I know I will feel better after I do it because that's always what happens when my brain blows things out of proportion. I know I can do this because I did even scarier stuff and it went well. Or even: if I manage to do this seemingly super scary thing, I will be able to use it as a motivator for smaller stuff in the future. I mean, what even is a fucking E-Mail in comparison to going to a social event on your own ??! (seriously, do it. in my experience it's surprisingly easy to find friends if you look pathetic enough, plus a lot of things seem a bit less paralyzing in comparison)

-> I turn it into a competition, or a game. If I do the thing I win. If I don't do the thing the anxiety wins. And I refuse to let that happen because I'm competitive AND a sore loser <3 so I do the thing. and then I feel a bit better

JUST DON'T THINK ABOUT IT. THINKING IS THE ANTITHESIS OF DOING. (which you can also use to your advantage, à la better to think about that unhealthy coping mechanism and why you shouldn't do it than to stop thinking about it and actually doing it instead. But that isn't the point right now)

DISTRACTIONS

Sometimes there just isn't anything you can do. Sometimes all you can do is wait. Sometimes you don't even know why the fuck you're feeling like that. And that fucking sucks.

I know there are some people who need an absence of stimuli in order to calm down. (If that's you, please leave some of your own pointers in the notes! I don't really have any ideas for that one tbh)

For me, the opposite is the case. I can't count the times my mom has told me to "try meditating!" or "don't do more than one thing at the same time it'll only stress you out even more!", unaware that giving my thoughts free reign would make everything so much worse.

I need to overwhelm myself in order to be able to forget about my anxiety for a while. Sometimes doing a task I've been dreading is easier after distracting myself for a few hours (being anxious is very tiring so if you let it run its course in the back of your mind for a while you'll have less energy for it later ^^). Here's some stuff that could help (though it should be noted that a) not everything will work on everyone and b) sometimes it just doesn't work. even if it worked the last five times. Don't ask me why it is what it is):

-> Do something (really anything) while listening to a video essay/podcast/audiobook. That's my go-to classic. Feel your mind slipping away from whatever you're doing? Force yourself to really listen to what is being said. Sometimes it helps to mouth the words along to my audio of choice (while still doing your thing at the same time!!) Speed it up (I've usually got my stuff at 1.75x or 2x). Assume that pretty much everything listed below can be done while having this as a second layer of distraction

-> Learn something new. I was literally just teaching myself the tabs for Every Breath You Take by The Police and 26 by Paramore on the guitar before starting this. I tried learning finnish and irish for a while there (learning vocabulary, trying to translate sth, learning grammar, etc.). Sometimes it can take a bit of time to get into it, but once you're there it's easy to lose yourself in it (in my experience at least.) And you can always start another video essay in the background!

-> Baking. I usually do half or fourth the recipe to a.) waste less ingredients; b.) have less stuff to eat so you can go bake more stuff sooner; and c.) feel less bad if it doesn't turn out how you hoped. Plus you can also make yourself more likeable by giving some to your neighbours ;)

-> Comfort book/series/movie/etc. I'll be honest, this one almost never works for me, but I know that for some people it does so on the list it goes

-> Take a walk. Touch some grass. Go outside. Personally have very mixed feelings towards this one. Used to do it all the time during lockdown (walking nowhere for literal hours while listening to music), but when it doesn't help it makes things much much worse (in my experience) So maybe be a bit careful? If you want to get away from your thoughts this is...bad. But otherwise (like if you just have the feeling of anxiety without a specific reason) it's worth a try

-> Do maths. I'm serious. For a while there I couldn't sleep, so I'd go on the net, search for equasion exercises, and just go wild. Don't look at the answer: this isn't the point. It's something with a fixed procedure and no consequences if you mess up (you won't even know if you mess up). Maybe instead of equations you find long division more relaxing. Just try not to think of school, put the pressure away, and give it a go.

-> Go to your comfort place. This is also a bit of a tricky one. First of all, not everyone has one of those. Or maybe you can't really go there (like, I always calm down when I'm at the beach. I adore the ocean. But I don't have sea anywhere near me, so sucks to be me i guess). But if you do have a place near you it's worth a try. Sometimes after a particular stressful therapy session i just...go chill at the library for a while. It helps :)

-> Blorbo scrolling. I personally prefer looking at a bunch of art and comics (visual stuff) since i don't really have the concentration to read when I'm anxious, but see what works best for you <3

-> Menial tasks. I love them. Sorting stuff that actually doesn't really matter (like taking all your books from your shelves and trying a new way to organize them). The already mentioned maths exercises. Washing the dishes/putting them back in their place (you can combine that one with the baking hehe). Volunteering work can also be pretty helpful: they often need help with menial tasks plus you can feel good about yourself for helping. Recently started helping at my local animal shelter and it's actually pretty great !

-> Sports. I personally hate sports and always feel worse afterwards, but so many people talk about it that it must be of help to someone out there. What I used to do when I got suddenly overrun by emotions is taking my skipping rope and jumping as fast as I physically could til I felt a bit better (and sweaty ew)

-> Sometimes I like starting a small project; depending on the mood either with no pressure to finish (or intention to show anyone ever because eww), or posting it in hope for praise that'll make me feel a bit better about myself heh. Just something else I can focus on. (ex. g. I've got a meeting I'm nervous about tomorrow so I started writing this huge-ass post) Just remember: IT DOESN'T HAVE TO BE GOOD!! JUST CREATE! I PROMISE BEING CREATIVE AND/OR DOING STUFF IS AWESOME!! (or if nothing else at least frustrating enough to overshadow the anxiety lol)

-> In the wise words of mother mother: Dance and cry, and cry and dance and cry. (And sing. And scream. Or get out that skipping rope. Just let it out my dude.)

-> Watch a show in a foreign language faster (like 2x speed) and with subtitles (less time to read, more required focus, less brain power to panic)

-> immersive reading (audio + text); especially effective if you do it in a language you are currently learning or one that is similar (but not the same!) to your native tongue (f. ex. portuguese and spanish)

-> Try sleeping. Doesn't always work, but at least it wastes time.

I THINK I'M ABOUT TO HAVE A PANIC/ANXIETY ATTACK

-> Strong sudden stimulant. Like smelling a very strong perfume or taking a freezing shower.

-> Just. Let it wash over you. It sucks, yes, but it'll be over. Try keeping calm. I know, easy to say when you yourself aren't currently going through it, but anxiety about a future attack will not, in fact, make things less worse. Once again, remembering past attacks can help as well? It didn't kill you then, it won't kill you now. (My therapist suggested using a mental image, like huge waves or something. I personally don't do that but maybe it'll help)

-> Cover your ears and listen to your heart. Key point: this is NOT aiming to drown out noise, but to ground yourself by listening to your own body (bloodstream and creaking bones etc) (ty anon <3)

-> I'm not sure whether this'll work with panic attacks as well (according to google one of the key differences is that these don't really have a trigger and just....happen) and it probably won't be viable in every situation. But just. Be enough of a spiteful little shit to turn your breakdown into a powermove. (The distressing emotions are there anyways might as well make use of them). You told your teacher you get extreme anxiety when you have to speak in public and they ignored you because the school system actually hates kids? Look them right in the eyes as you start hysterically sobbing so they feel really bad, maybe be extra subdued the next few lessons. As far as you know it'll get you a few pity points that'll make a difference in your overall grade! (Pretty sure I got a better grade in my arts finals than i deserved) Someone knowingly breaks a boundary you set because "oh you've been doing so well" and "it's an irrational fear so it isn't real anyways" or whatever they tell themselves to justify it? This is your chance to make them really see how what they did is wrong (and hopefully will make them think twice before pulling shit like that again). If you warned them, they are literally asking for it. And it'll seem that much more impressive when you are having a good day for once and manage to get through it without one (you've earned that extra credit). Maybe I'm just a bit of a vindictive person, but reframing the narrative like that in my head gives me some semblance of control, which makes it all a bit less scary.

IT DIDN'T FIT ANYWHERE ELSE BUT IS STILL IMPORTAT

This is mostly me reminding myself that it's fine tbh. Because it is.

-> Remember that you can just do shit. I don't know how else to say this, but sometimes my anxiety makes it feel like hiding away in my room is my only option. But that's not true! There is so much stuff you can do, I'm always in awe for a while when I get this through my thick skull once again. Like, you can just go to places. You can just write to your friends. You can just start a chat with that cool mutual you're too nervous to directly interact with. You can move. You can change jobs. You can redecorate your house. You can get into a random train and only get out at the last station, wherever that may be. YOU CAN JUST DO SHIT?!?!?! ISN'T THAT FUCKING AWESOME?!!!!!!!!

-> Extreme emotions can have unpleasant physical side effects. Sweating. Body odor. No appetite and/or extreme hunger cravings (sometimes at the same time??). Diarrhea. It sucks (especially when it continues on for multiple days and your oh so kind peers make sure to constantly remind you of those physical symptoms you are already overly aware of). But it's normal and it's fine. It doesn't make you gross, I promise.

-> THIS TOO SHALL PASS (that's it. Sometimes it's good to remind yourself. This too shall pass.)

-> Sometimes I just do small harmless shit to prove my anxious lizard brain wrong. Randomly say hi on that group chat you haven't entered for months. Create something you aren't really happy with and post it anyways, just cuz you can. Go do something on your own. The more you prove your fears wrong with little things like that, the easier it gets (especially if you have to do bigger scary stuff). Spite can be your best friend. (Plus easy way to gain more points in my mental competition hehehe)

-> Sometimes, despite your best efforts, you will fuck up. You will barely be able to say a word in the social event you forced yourself to go in order to meet cool people. You will be so obviously anxious at your friend's birthday that she will still remember that over a year later (despite your best efforts to hide it at the time). You will get an anxiety attack because of something you thought you had already gotten over months ago. And it sucks, but more importantly, it's fine. This too shall pass. This is another reason why the previous point is so important: it's harder to hold these incidents over your head if you have so many other experiences where you managed to prove yourself.

-> YOU get to decide when you want to try confronting a fear. Nobody else can do that for you, no matter how often they mention "exposure therapy" and shit (it's about the control once again. in my experience it's important for it to be your choice). Occasionally hiding away doesn't make you a failure. There are always more chances, it's never too late to start. Already mentioned it a bazillion times, but this shit is exhausting and you are well within your right to stay in your comfort zone and rest.

-> I don't know if it's just a me thing but self reminder to avoid lactose and gluten when overly anxious. (i never do but i am aware of it that should count for something)

-> gender-affirming stuff can help ^^

-> Not viable to everybody, but sometimes I just delete all social media from my phone. You can still go there through browser of course (that's where I'm actually currently writing this) but just not having the icon on the phone can already feel somewhat of a relief (social media in this case also including messaging apps like discord or WhatsApp or fucking electronic mail my beloathed). That's actually what I am planning to do immediately after posting this thing that came out a bit more personal and stream-of-conscousness than initially planned. You won't even be able to tell cuz I never tag my queues hehehe

-> mentally dunking my stupid anxious lizard brain into salt water rn. Fuck you. I'm posting this. I'm leaving my house tomorrow instead of calling in sick. I'm winning.

#i apologize if there are spelling errors or sentences that dont make sense (my focus is a bit shit rn lol) #once again hope this can help someone? plus always open to more suggestions etc etc #it feels a bit hypocritical to be posting this rn tbh since i am not dealing with my anxiety that well atm tbh #but then i look back to how it was like two years ago and actually i *did* improve even if only a bit so like fuck you too lizard brain #i hope you get to look out of your window and realize that you too have come far <3 #i love being a lil cheeseball hehehehe #anxiety #actually anxious #actually anxiety #uhm idk how else to tag this i guess ill rely on rbgs lol

[whitehotharlots]

If you believe in nothing, you will achieve nothing

Andrea Long Chu has a problem. She and her acolytes presently enjoy dictatorial control over every discourse that falls to the left of Fox News. They have convinced the world that speech is inherently violent and therefore a dedication to free speech is a precondition of fascism, if not outright genocide. Every decent person must agree with every thing they say, no matter how deranged or implausible. And so if a random person, for example, says that sexual dimorphism exists or that maybe cosmetic hysterectomies shouldn't be the first response to teenage mental health issues, that person has committed a severe act of violence and must be silenced.

But, oh no, it turns out that Chu and her cohort have found themselves outgunned on the topic of Israel-Palestine. The same left that has gleefully silenced all improper discussions of culture war issues for the last decade is now seeing their exact same tactics being used to silence any criticism of Israel's ongoing genocide. You can't even do something as anodyne as expressing support for a ceasefire without making a Jewish Yale student feel unsafe, and since speech is violence and feeling unsafe is even more of a genocide than an actual genocide I'm sorry, you were bad and unvalid and you must silenced. Them's the rules.

Chu attempts to reconcile these two, very sad realities in a recent piece for New York Magazine titled "The Free Speech Debate is a Trap." The essay is staggeringly moronic, even by Chu's august standards. I had to read it twice just to make sure I wasn't understanding it unfairly.

My readers seem like decent people. I find no joy in subjecting them to crap like this. But a deep dive into Chu's essay is necessary because it confirms the value of free speech on two fronts: 1) it shows why nothing short of a doctrinaire support of the first amendment can allow for the dissemination of opinions that dissent against the consensus of the permanent war state, and, 2) it demonstrates how an opposition to free speech leads to the proliferation of braindead analysis among supposed leftists.

Let us begin:

As is her wont, Chu writes in an obfuscatory style. She belabors simple points to weaken the reader's attention, so that when she sneaks in observations that are insane or otherwise very stupid we're less likely to notice.

She starts with a description of herself, another writer, and the whole staff of a poetry center being deplatformed for expressing their support of the Palestinian cause. This is, obviously, an injustice. But rather than taking the fascist's way out and deciding that maybe this free speech thing is actually worth pursuing, Chu explains that the incident actually strengthened her resolve against the free and protected exchange of ideas. Because, naturally, anything else would render her a hypocrite, and then she wouldn't be able to silence people for dissenting against gender bullshit:

Now it’s true: A left that supports the deplatforming of transphobes but opposes the deplatforming of anti-Zionists cannot justify itself by appealing to free speech — nor should it. For the liberal, freedom of speech is a deliberately empty principle. It allows a liberal institution to mediate peacefully between differing political views without any (apparent) reference to the content of those views — all while quietly promoting its own views under the banner of neutrality. The left can do better. 

Now, here it's very important to note the degree to which the concept of transphobia has been expanded in recent years, thanks in no small part to the work of Chu and her allies in media and academe. The concept once meant something like "a hatred of trans and/or gender non-conforming people," which is bad. But now it's expanded to include things like recognizing that males and females have different athletic abilities, expressing concern with the thought of male sex offenders being housed in women's prisons, the refusal of female service workers to perform intimate procedures on natal males, or even simply using words like "male" and "female." This type of extreme narrative control simply could not persist in a discourse that wasn't very broken, or among people who did not regard the aggressive policing of speech as a paramount ideal. Like the rest of the identitarians who now control what passes for the American Left, Chu is very unabashedly pro-censorship.

Strip down the blandishments and you'll find her point is simple: free speech is bad, because it allows people to say things that may discredit her. Only instead of admitting to being discredited, she shall claim that speech itself in an act of violence, because after all if she's discredited that means violence has been inflicted upon her. Herself and other people who believe everything she believes should be anointed the gatekeepers of what does or does not constitute acceptable speech. Those who break from their dictates must be shunted from the public sphere and suffer professional consequences.

The type of nihilism endorsed by Chu is only advantageous to those whose beliefs benefit the empowered. And, at the end of the day, the people who run most every left-liberal institution (including the Democratic party) are resolutely in favor of Israel's genocide. Some of them take genuine pleasure in watching Palestinians die; others were taped fucking children on a sex island and cannot upset their blackmailers; and the bulk of them are mortified by the prospect of being labeled some kind of -ist or -phobe, as they know full well--thanks, again, to the efforts of Chu and her cohort--that they would not be able to proffer any defense against such accusations, regardless of how stupid they may be.

There is no way to reconcile this situation within the boundaries set by left identitiarisn. None. You can either support free speech as an abstract principle and allow unpopular and inconvenient speech to proliferate without punishment, or you can endorse a society where the acceptability of speech is determined by the desires of the warmongering sociopaths who run the world. It's one or the other. There are no other options.

I don't think anything I've written so far is especially complicated, or even controversial. These are the sort of observations I would have easily grasped in middle school. But, oh, here's where the obfuscation sets in, where Chu demonstrates her Pulitzer Prize-winning skill of making reactionary bullshit sound left-ish.

She starts with the well-worn trope of arguing that today's speech debates aren't really about free speech because the first amendment only applies to, like, the government:

It is worth remembering the vast majority of what we call free-speech issues have little basis in the First Amendment, which only forbids the abridgment of speech by the government, not private organizations like magazines, cultural centers, or Hollywood production companies. In most states, for instance, it is perfectly legal for employers to fire workers for speech, as a Westchester synagogue did last year after a teacher wrote an anti-Zionist blog post. So when advocates talk of freedom of speech, they are usually referring neither to the Constitution nor to statutory law but to a set of civil norms imagined to promote the health of the republic but which cannot be directly enforced by the government. 

As a matter of simple fact, this is wrong. At least 32 of our 50 states require potential government employees to sign some sort of loyalty oath to Israel before they are allowed to receive state jobs. Compelled speech in support of zionist genocide--or, at least, the promise to never criticize said genocide--is enforced by the government. This is very literally a first amendment issue.

But, I will concede, the support of free speech largely redounds to a set of civil norms--the same as how we don't go around slashing other people's tires or puking in our neighbor's mailboxes not strictly because it's illegal to do so, but out of a sense of shared civic duty. Even if we can't articulate exactly why, we just sense that it would be bad to abandon our principles to a degree where we did or tolerated that sort of stuff.

These unspoken compacts are essential for the existence of any human society. And probably any animal society. And, shit, this probably applies to plants and bacteria, too. But the persistence of these compacts pisses off people like Chu because such compacts can, at times, present a threat to their capacity as the sovereign overseers of what is or is not acceptable. If judgments were deferred to science or empiricism or any other existing form of adjudicating correctness and decency, all of a sudden Chu wouldn't be a very smart intellectual, and we cannot have that.

Chu's... her... discussion of this? I hate to call it a "response," because an actual response would require some degree of honesty. But, uhh, the way she addresses this is to point out that free speech is actually, like, just a fiction, mannnnn...

While it is true that left-wing ideas have flourished in the humanities and, to a lesser extent, the social sciences — the result of the retreat of post-1968 social movements into the academy — the big private universities remain in the business of business, their endowments tied up in fossil fuels, big tech, and the prison-industrial complex and their purses fattened by wealthy donors who expect influence in return. After a letter was released at Harvard that blamed “all unfolding violence” on the Israeli government, the billionaire hedge-fund manager Bill Ackman, apparently speaking for his fellow CEOs, demanded that the school publish the rosters of the student groups who had signed the letter “so as to insure [sic] that none of us inadvertently hire any of their members.” The implicit understanding here was that elite private universities funnel their graduates into the nation’s highest positions of power and influence — including Congress itself — and that this pipeline must not be polluted by ideas that its previous beneficiaries find morally despicable or politically disadvantageous. The House hearing itself came chillingly close to a direct attempt by the federal government to materially intervene in the composition of the incipient professional class through, as more than one Republican suggested, the expulsion of student protesters.

Yes, indeed, speech has always been limited by the sovereign. Go back and read Locke and Bacon, see how much they hem and haw about their love of the Queen. Point to any of the hundreds or thousands of socialists who found themselves jailed in these United States for criticizing our involvement in the first World War. That's all true. But none of these facts negate the value and utility of free speech as an ideal.

If you have no principles, if your only goal is a naked quest for power, you will eventually encounter someone more empowered whose desires run counter to your own. Then you will fail, as you will have no recourse to do anything but fail. Without ideals, there is no path forward. Without decency, there is no hope. If the battle over the continuation of a genocide redounds to nothing less vulgar than two sides claiming righteousness by din of their own existence, the side that owns all the guns and media organizations is going to win.

But there's no room for such realizations within today's left, of whom Chu is a very sad but fitting embodiment. She is immensely successful not because of talent or intelligence or decency but because she manifests the perfect set of identity markers. If she were not physically hideous and/or a manipulative sociopath, she'd be a nobody. She thrives within our broken discourse only because her enablers fear her, and that fear is born of nothing more than pity. She cannot afford the existence of principles, as that would threaten her exalted status. And she is demanding that all the rest of us abandon every last sliver of hope to make sure she and friends remain in charge.

#ceasefire #palestine #andrea long chu

[herofics]

hii can i request geto or anyone else from jjk with a s/o who struggles a lot mentally and usually vents in poems (like writes poems in a diary) and they don't want them to see it bc they don't want them to be burdened with caring abt them? (also add that the s/o loves physical affection (only if you want)) i hope this makes sense ♡ and if you don't want to write this, it's okay

A/N: Hahah, being in a not so great mental state myself atm, I used my time writing this instead of doing my school work. Goddammit I feel like a lazy piece of shit lol. This isn’t really set in any particular point in time, but canon timeline, so Geto is doing his cult business and all that. I’m venting my own frustrations through this too. I can’t write a poem to save my life, at least not in english, so I didn’t write it out, but I did use the poetry thing anyway. I really needed to be called a “good girl” today, so that’s Geto’s job. I know I usually try to write gender neutral but I just really needed it and I couldn’t come up with anything that gave me the same vibe so I went with “good girl”

It was just so much. So much stress, so much work, so much everything. You felt like time was just slipping through your fingers. Everything was passing you by and you couldn’t grab onto anything.

“Why does this have to be so damn hard?” you muttered as you loaded the dishwasher.

Everyone else was doing fine, so why couldn’t you? Why couldn’t you just do the things others seemed to be able to do so easily? Everyone else could finish their assignments on time, why couldn’t you? Everyone was able to at least keep up appearances of managing their life, and you felt like you couldn’t even do that. Sure, you’d managed to keep yourself from drowning in all this crap, but you couldn’t keep treading water forever.

You weren’t exactly sure how you’d managed to keep Geto off your case for so long. Sure he’d pretty much been working nonstop for the last month, and had only been to the apartment occasionally. He’d even been sleeping at his office. The times he did come home, you’d managed to keep up appearances just enough that he’d thought you were only a bit tired. Besides, he didn’t need to worry about you too, he had enough on his plate already. No matter how much you missed him, his touch, his hands on your hips, him whispering sweet nothings into your ear, you didn’t want to burden him.

You finished loading the dishwasher and turned it on. At least you’d managed to do one thing. You went to grab your diary from your nightstand drawer and then walked back into the kitchen to sit by the table.

You were procrastinating doing your university assignments yet again. You hadn’t even started the essay you needed to turn in the next day. You felt like a lazy piece of shit. Why couldn’t you just get things done? It was just an essay, it was even a topic you were somewhat interested in, but nope, you just couldn’t do it. Instead, you decided to write something else. You’d always found poetry therapeutic, especially when you wrote it by hand instead of tapping away on your phone.

Your poem ended up being quite the stream of consciousness kind of thing, but writing your thoughts down on paper helped. It was no miracle cure to your ailment, but at least you got some of your thoughts out.

You left your diary, an unremarkable notebook, on the kitchen table as you went to the bathroom.

The last month had been incredibly hectic. There was a big event coming up next week for his cult, and Geto had been busy preparing for it. Writing his speech, and making sure everything was going smoothly. Of course he had assistants and people to handle these things, but he had the final say, so he had to approve everything.

Geto couldn’t help but miss you. Everytime he had gone home, you had seemed increasingly tired. Your usually witty remarks had turned bland, and you seemed almost apathetic at times. He usually wouldn’t put his work first when you were in such a state, but the event that was coming was very important for the cult, so he couldn’t really help it. Now that he had finished his speech and had left very specific instructions for his assistant, he felt like he could finally relax a little bit. He could finally make sure you were alright.

When Geto came back home and walked into the kitchen, he saw a notebook on the table. He didn’t think much of it as he picked it up and started flipping through it. He didn’t really read much, a word here, a sentence there, until he got the page with the most recent date. He didn’t even hear the toilet flush nor the running water as you washed your hands as he read through the poem.

“Why are you reading that?” you gulped as you returned to the kitchen.

“I’m sorry, I didn’t mean-”

“Oh? You didn’t mean to read it?” you interjected as you grabbed the diary from his hands. “Then why did you?” you asked tearfully.

“Honestly, when I started reading I couldn’t stop. Is this truly how you’ve been feeling lately?” he asked, motioning at the notebook, a pit of dread settling at the bottom of his stomach.

It’s not like he’d even missed the signs really, he had ignored them in favor of his work, and willingly or not, he had let you start spiraling.

“Even if I was, you had no right to read it without my permission, it’s private” you sniffled, clutching the diary to your chest.

“I apologize for reading it, but it’s necessary for me to know if you’re feeling like this. You don’t need to be alone with this” Geto said, placing his hands on your shoulders and rubbing them.

“But what if I want to be? What if I don’t want you to have to worry about me on top of everything else?” you noted, letting your arms fall to your sides, still holding the diary in one hand

“What do you mean everything else? There is nothing else when you’re not doing well” Geto said softly and pulled you into a hug.

By god how you’d missed this. His embrace, his warmth, the beating of his heart in your ear as you pressed the side of your head to his chest. He rested his chin on top of your head as he held you. You could feel all the apathy and the self-loathing melting away as he hugged you tightly and you returned his embrace.

“I do want to talk to you, Suguru. I just… I don’t really know how. It’s so much easier to write it down and not have to explain anything to anyone” your voice was muffled by his robes as you explained.

“I know the feeling, believe me” he sighed and kissed the top of your head. “You don’t have to explain anything to me if you don’t want to, but I still feel I deserve to know when the person I love is not doing well. Even if you don’t want to explain the reasons, at least let me know when you’re feeling down”

“Yeah, yeah”

Geto pulled back and took your face into his hands with an intense look in his eyes. 

“Promise me?” he asked, looking at you intently.

“I promise” you sighed, but your lips curled into a small smile nonetheless.

“Good girl” he smiled and pressed a kiss on your forehead.

#jujutsu kaisen #jjk #geto suguru #geto x reader #jjk x reader #jujutsu kaisen x reader #jjk x you #jujutsu kaisen x you #jjk scenarios #jujutsu kaisen scenarios #jjk fluff #jujutsu kaisen fluff #jjk comfort #jujutsu kaisen comfort #jjk imagines #jujutsu kaisen imagines

[harry-styles-obsessed]

Can you write some core of angst with happy ending

Apologies if this one if shorter than usual! Had to write this quick so my bad if it’s crap 🫣

Jealousy

©️ please do not copy or translate my work.

“So when were you going to tell me?” Your voice was cold and furious, Harry’s confused eyes settling onto you as he placed his bag down onto the table “what do you mean y/n?” He asked softly your eyes not daring to meet his “why you would cheat on me.” The man was astonished at your accusation… your words absolutely rendering him silent

“What?” He asked utterly confused “you’re always with HER. You’re always holding hands with her! You’re always fucking with her! It isn’t fair Harry!” You spat out the alarm on Harry’s face obvious “sweethe-“ “don’t fucking sweetheart me you two faced asshole!” Harry fell silent jaw dropping as he just stared at you green eyes filled with genuine hurt and confused “y/n…” “Harry you and her have obviously gotten feelings for each other! It’s clear! It’s fine it’s fine! Spare me of the grief of hearing you break up with me!” You raised your voice “break up with me?! Y/n what the fuck is-“ he had to quickly remind himself that you were just struggling, squeezing his eyes shut as he pinched the bridge of his nose before his dark green eyes focused on you watching as you turned your back to him going to walk to the bathroom only to be stopped by Harry’s slender fingers wrapping around your wrist cold metal of his rings pressing against your wrist as he swiftly yanked you back towards him but making sure to remain gentle his eyes boring into yours as he gripped onto your wrist gently

“It’s for the movie.” He spoke getting a sarcastic “uh huh” from you only for him to cup your cheek forcing you to look at him “it’s for the movie. I swear. Olivia wanted me to do it. To get our chemistry up because I didn’t like it…” your face immediately fell lips parting in confusion “didn’t like it?” You asked sheepishly “yeah. I hated it… it made me uncomfortable.” He spoke before grabbing your hands gently bringing them to his lips as he pressed soft kisses to your hands “I didn’t like it because it wasn’t you. I felt guilty as shit because I had to act like she was you…. The only way I could do what I did on that set today was imagine you were her.” He spoke calmly and reassuringly immediately defusing the situation that could’ve easily been so much worse. You blinked staring at him in shock immediately feeling guilty “I’m sorry… I-…” he shushed you gently hand coming to cup your cheek as he stroked his thumb against your skin “I understand. It’s okay… but please don’t ever think I would stoop as low as your exes… I’d never cheat on you or fall in love with someone else. Okay? You’re what I want… who I want… I love you.” He then wrapped his arms around you, holding you in his embrace as you breathed in the smell of him not saying anything for a while as you both just stood in silence, Harry doing what he usually did- waiting for you to break the hug first, just so he knew you had enough of the hug… enough of his love… a hug was capable of saving a life after all.

Eventually you however let out a soft laugh, arms still around him “I’m so stupid….” You murmured and Harry chuckled shaking his head “I won’t disagree on that one…” he teased playfully “but at least you’re cute…. Stupid but cute…” he murmured pulling back to look into your eyes a small grin on his lips his dimples popping out before he leaned down pressing a kiss to your lips “I love you.” He murmured against your lips, “love you more.” You spoke back, lips remaining against each other, before eventually you fell back into his embrace… you didn’t like to admit it but you were insecure at the best and worst of times but with the help of Harry you were able to shut that down within an instant. He truly was the love of your life… your hero… your whole entire world.

#angst #harry styles x reader #harry styles angst #harry angst #harry x reader #harry styles x you #x reader x harry styles #harry styles x y/n #harry edward styles #harry styles #yn #imagines #comfort #stories #harry styles comfort #harry fluff #happy ending #jealousy #love hurts #emotional #one direction #love on tour #don’t worry darling #short short story #short story #real short story #x reader #reader insert #fem reader #not specified

[teknikolor-walters]

so. in advance im so sorry if this spirals out of control, but i just... haven't been able to stop thinking about the idea of your podcast, yknow?

i think it's something about knowing that feeling. i have spent a Long time in high school (long enough im wayyy past sick of this place 🙄) and most of that has been spent being bullied by sophomore-equivalents. and what that does is it teaches you a lot of things very fast. well, it taught me a lot of things very fast, certainly. stuff like how i should never actually respond to how my weekend was (nobody actually wants an answer to that, apparently) or what my favourite film/book/game is (nobody actually cares, apparently) and- most aptly- to never, ever make anything that's got more joy, wit, and passion than the of back of a cereal box put into it. i have sat the night before a project was due and rewrote the entire thing because it would be too soul-bearing otherwise. because it would get mocked either way, and i couldn't bear that happening to something i actually cared about.

and i have lived six years like this. six years of supposedly the most creative part of my life have been spent writing, drawing, and talking about stuff that would make wheaties look like an exciting novelty.

and you know what?

it doesn't even work. as my mother puts it, if people want to make fun of you, they'll find a way to do it no matter what. the point is- cicada, i don't want you to ever learn these lessons. ever. the world is not like sophmore year of high school. it is full of people like felix, and toulouse, and everyone else that cares about you. it's full of people that are going to love you for your full and unapologetic self. i promise. i've been there. i'll hold your hand through it and everything. but you have poured your heart and soul into this podcast, and i never, ever want you to stop doing that. fuck. them. they have no right, no place to make you feel shame for being who you are or liking what you do. but they can, and they will, no matter what you stand up there and present.

so you might as well present that podcast proudly. and you might as well continue to make and enjoy things like it for the rest of your life. for yourself, and for everyone who was too afraid to do something similar.

it isn't an easy choice. it is one of the hardest things you'll ever have to do. but i'm proud of you either way. even making it's an act of rebellion. schools WANT cereal-packet crap. don't let them have it. okay?

Okay. I'll try.

#i um #dont actually know how to respond to this #properly #i don't think i could write something as beautiful and eloquent as that #fuck #toby #i know isay this all the time but i really do love you so so much #you make my life better. just by being #even if we go days on end without talking to each other #just knowing you're out there somewherr #that i live on the same planet as you #is enough to make me smile #you're such an inspiration to me and you're so kind and wonderful and funny and just. i love you #thank you #thank you thank you thank you #for being there for me for being willing to hold my hand #for just being at all #if the world can have someone like you in it maybe the world isnt half bad

[cheeto-flavoured-pasta]

An (Albeit Late) Writeblr Intro

I'm seeing all the Writeblr introduction posts going around and I'm starting to realize that, damn, I should have started my blog that way. But I didn't, so I might as well post my intro a while after I've written and reblogged other things, because it's the least I can do.

So, with that out of the way: excuse my fuck-ups, and here's a really late Writeblr intro…

______________________________________________

Hi! I don't think anyone wants to type out my long username whenever they're referring to me, so just call me 'A.' (He/him). I've been lurking on Tumblr for a while and I figured I'd actually get up and make a blog for writing. I don't exactly have any particular focus outside of just "random crap that relates to writing in any way, shape, or form" so I could be putting up memes, drabbles I wrote, excerpts from my WIPs, writing memes, etc. etc. I'll make other blogs if I wanna focus in on one specific writing aspect later, but for now, I'm keeping things general. 

My current major WIP as of now is APS (stands for 'A Powerful Secret' but I usually just call it the acronym since it sounds cooler). It's a sci-fi dystopia trilogy centering around the idea of superhumans being discovered by an already-corrupt government. There's also a spinoff I want to work on, but that's way off into the future. I'm currently working on B2 of the trilogy; it's currently in the first draft. Considering that this series is still a major work-in-progress, I might not be able to post anything about it until a bit later.

I do have plenty of other side projects that I most certainly want to share on here, since I feel more confident posting those first (when I get back to writing them, of course). Some of these side-WIPs include: 

The Devil On My Shoulder: A fiction centering around a depressed college-aged student, and how his life changes when a demon is kicked out from hell and comes crashing right into his home. 

This is probably the story I'm most excited to work on, given that I've mapped out all the twists and turns in my head already, and all I need to do is write it.

ATM (placeholder title): A story — possibly a series — revolving around a civilization that relies heavily on elemental magic which takes the form of specific jewelry (ex: elemental rings, necklaces, wristbands, etc.). It's often used to fight back against the monsters that invaded the world decades ago. The source of the creatures is something that nobody knows, but the protagonist, Nadeline, is dead set on finding out. 

This story may take a longer while to write, considering that it's a high-fantasy type of story, which is a genre I don't write often but want to write more of.

Don't Leave: (That may or may not be a placeholder title; it depends). A novel that focuses on the town of Bayholde, which forbids anyone from traveling outside of it and has closed itself off from the world almost entirely. Kaguya, a young man who is fed up with being trapped inside, makes his escape from Bayholde one night just to see what lies in the outside world. What he finds is most certainly not pretty.

______________________________________________

You can bet I'll be posting at least something related to the first or third WIP sometime soon. In the meantime, though, I'll probably fill up the blog with all the other things I mentioned before: drabbles, excerpts, memes, maybe the occasional writing prompt/idea if I feel like it. 

I really look forward to seeing what the rest of Writeblr brings, along with reading everyone else's works/WIPs! :)

— A.

#writeblr #writers of tumblr #writing #writing community #writeblr introduction #writeblr intro #wip intro

[babygirlyoon]

falling out of love

(disclaimer: this crap is kinda old so the writing isn’t the best but pLEASE i just wanted to post this before I posted why you left bc I’m not done with it SO yeah)

2k words

yoongi x oc, original character, toxic relationship, depression, jealousy, manipulation, you do not want this relationship, flawed character, basically yoongi sucks, makeouts, angst, no smut

“Babe? I’m home.”

Hyeji closes the apartment door and hangs up her coat, moving further into the house to look for her boyfriend. Her boyfriend who’s been a bit withdrawn lately.

She knows he has bad days more frequently than most people do. He can even have bad weeks and bad months. And Hyeji makes sure to give him the most love and attention she can whenever he’s not feeling the best.

Right now, it doesn’t seem like anything’s wrong. But how would she know if he won’t actually talk?

“Yoongi?”

A grunt comes from the bedroom.

Yoongi’s laying on their bed, reading. Hyeji walks around the bed only to receive some absentminded peck from him.

He’s rarely affectionate but it’s not like he never is. Hyeji has even asked him in the past to make an effort. She knows he’s trying but it sometimes feels like a slight.

“You could have responded to me just now,” she mutters.

“Sorry?”

“When I came home,” she replies, a bit irritated. “You could have let me know you were here.”

“M’sorry,” he says without looking up. “I’m really into this book so…”

She sighs and starts to take off her jewelry. “What do you want for dinner?”

“Whatever.”

“We should eat together tonight,” Hyeji says. “We used to do it all the time but you got busy.”

He hums, hesitant. “I don’t know…”

“Come on,” she grabs his hand and holds it. “Please, Yoongi? It would make me really happy.”

I shouldn’t have to beg.

He groans after a while. “Alright.”

Hyeji dismisses it and eagerly goes to the kitchen to start cooking.

Shouldn’t he be happy to?

Well, he was somewhere else the whole time.

And it sucked. Because Hyeji was talking about her day at work and Yoongi seemed like he couldn’t care less. But she decided to try again after dinner. After dishes.

After everything.

He sat on the couch reading once again, not even enjoying his girlfriend’s company.

Hyeji comes over and sits on his lap. “Murakami again?”

He nods. “I can’t put it down.”

“Can you, baby? Just for a minute.”

He obeys and supports her with two hands on the waist—reluctantly. She gives him a kiss with a bit more feeling than the half-assed peck from earlier.

Yoongi returns it, less eager than usual but hey, at least it was something.

“Missed you,” she says when she pulls away to breathe.

He hums in agreement as he kisses her again. He licks into her mouth eagerly, desperately. His warm hands move up the small of her back under the oversized shirt she threw on.

Yoongi makes a noise in the kiss, not quite a moan but certainly halfway there. It makes Hyeji crave more, a fire lit in her belly feeling like fuel has been added.

She leans back to allow him to lay horizontal on the couch, following him as he does so. Hyeji’s body moves against his now, their lips also smoothly moving against each other.

He instinctively pulls her shirt up over her head and his hands move along her stomach. He flips her and moves kisses down to her neck, nipping skin as quick as he can.

“Fuck,” he sighs.

And he’s so into it now.

Into her.

Into her body and into the kisses and it’s fucking weird but Hyeji doesn’t want to think about this any longer because hello? He cares right now.

Then he stops to breathe.

She breathes hard, only able to say “Yoongi…” He rakes his hair back with his hands, gasping for air.

“Let’s go to bed,” she says after a while. She’s still straddling him, sitting up and waiting for his response.

He nods and follows her to their bedroom when she gets up, crawling over her when she lays on the bed.

“Want you to make me feel good, baby.”

And he does.

^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^

“I love you,” Hyeji whispers a little while after.

He’s got one arm around her waist. He’s pulled her in to close the gap between them, the warmth of their bodies the only thing keeping the room’s coolness bearable.

The exceptions are the sheets. Obviously.

“Yeah,” he breathes. “It was good.”

Nothing back.

That certainly speaks volumes.

God how she wishes she could see his face right now.

“Yoon? Are you okay?”

“Why?”

Hyeji shrugs. “I’m just wondering if you’re… okay. Mentally, I mean.”

“I’m fine.”

And this is where reading his facial expression would come in.

She sighs.

“Can you face me? I can’t talk to you like this.”

Yoongi obeys. His face is deadpan but his eyes say a lot.

She’s learned to read him. It was hard when they first started going out but became easier as they got to know each other, as she got to know him when he felt like shit.

Like those few times he didn’t answer her calls or texts for a few days and she ran over to his apartment to find out he was in bad shape.

That’s because he never wants to talk.

Hyeji puts a hand on his cheek, stroking it gently with her thumb. “You know that I’m here whenever you wanna talk.”

“I know.”

She gives him a tender kiss this time, unlike the ones earlier. “I love you. I’m always gonna be here.”

His eyes well up with tears, Hyeji can tell Yoongi’s actively holding them back. He nods.

“Okay? I promise.”

She also knows ‘I love you’ never comes easy to him. But that conversation bothers her for a while.

Even so, there’s a new guy at work that Hyeji is friends with. Hoseok.

And they’re just friends, obviously.

But she’s taken to confiding in Hoseok about Yoongi. She swears it’s in the most innocent way, though.

“Are you sure this guy still loves you, noona?”

Hyeji shoots him a menacing look.

“Alright,” he puts his hands up in surrender. “Sorry I asked, geez.”

“Just go do your work, Hoseok-ah.”

He rolls his eyes. “I’m literally waiting for you to pack up so we can walk out together.”

“My boyfriend’s picking me up.”

“So?”

“So I don’t want him to see me with you,” Hyeji says, a bit irritated. “He’s kinda- weird about this shit.”

“Literally why,” he asks, monotone. “It’s not like I like you or anything.”

“Right.”

Hyeji finishes packing up her belongings and says her goodbyes to some coworkers. As she’s leaving, Hoseok stops her.

“You sure you don’t need me to walk you out?”

“Why are you so insistent on this?”

Hoseok shrugs and leans against the wall. “Safety stuff or whatever. It gets dark early now, remember?”

She groans. “Only because you won’t stop bothering me.”

Hyeji lets Hoseok follow her like a puppy; to the elevator, to the lobby, outside the office building.

It’s freezing outside. Seoul has had nothing but frigid weather that makes you freeze your ass off lately. Even with a coat, you feel like you might have hypothermia or something.

“So,” Hoseok says after a while of them waiting. “Where is he?”

Hyeji pulls out her phone to call him. “Shut up. He’ll be here in a minute.”

Probably.

No answer. Now this is embarrassing.

“Damn it!”

“I can take you home, noona.”

“No, no, no,” she says, frantic. “I can walk.”

Hoseok pulls out his keys and takes her hand. “It’s, like, thirty degrees out right now. Come on.”

She groans loudly as he pulls her along in the direction of his car.

The drive is relatively quiet. Hyeji’s too busy thinking about Yoongi and his possible reaction/non-reaction and his mental state and so many other things about him that pop into her head.

Fortunately, the office is only ten minutes away from the apartment she and Yoongi share. Any longer and this drive would simply make her brain implode.

When they finally reach the apartment building, Hoseok and Hyeji say their goodbyes. Instead of leaving right away, he waits for her to get inside. As for Hyeji, she takes a deep breath before entering.

Yoongi’s on the couch facing the window.

“Hey,” she says, trying to look as innocent as she possibly can. “What happened today?”

“Who was that?”

She stammers. “Uh- I- my coworker dropped me off. You were supposed to pick me up, Yoongi.”

He facepalms. “Shit.”

“What happened? What’s been happening with you lately?”

Yoongi stands up now, hands on his hips. “I should be asking you the same question.”

“What do you even mean?”

He pauses, as if reluctant to say the next words that come out of his mouth. “Are you seeing that guy?”

She sighs. “What the hell? You’re not serious, are you?”

“I’m deadass, Hyeji.”

“God,” she scoffs and walks around him and to the bedroom. “You know what? I can’t answer that.”

“Hey,” he calls after her. “Wait!”

Yoongi follows her into the bedroom where she’s changing her clothes. “Hyeji please-”

“You’re accusing me of cheating, Yoongi. Are you fucking kidding? After everything I’ve done for you?”

“How was I supposed to know?”

“Um, well, I’m pretty sure it’s common sense.”

He scoffs. “Common sense, my ass.”

“Hey! Don’t make this shit my fault. You’ve been acting all distant and isolated for months, okay?”

He hangs his head and sighs.

“I gave you so much time and so much love and so much support and all of me that I could have possibly given you even when I was barely able to. I never forced you to talk ever.”

“I know,” he whispers.

“Like sue me for thinking I could confide in someone else for once. Hoseok is a new coworker I trained, that’s it.”

Silence.

Tears well up in her eyes. “I don’t think I can do this anymore.”

“Hyeji…”

“Just get away from me.” She walks out of the bedroom and locks herself in the bathroom, not knowing whether to scream or cry.

A low voice on the other side of the door startles her. “Don’t leave me.”

She chooses not to respond.

“I know you hate me so much right now and I totally understand but Hyeji just listen to me?”

He pauses, then continues after a minute.

“Things have been really hard lately. And I know that’s no excuse for the way I’ve been treating you.”

“No shit.”

“I still love you, I swear. And again my actions are not indicative of my love for you at all. But you know me, you know how I am, you know I don’t do affection that way.”

“I know.”

He pauses again.

“But it’s been so fucked up in my head. I’ve been pushing you away because I don’t want to burden you with everything going on inside of me, Hyeji. Please believe me.”

Yoongi’s voice cracks at the end of the sentence.

He wants to cry again.

She sighs. Hyeji’s sitting with her back against the door now.

“I’ve been trying to make myself get better without burdening you with it.”

“I always tell you that just makes it worse.”

“I know that… we talked about me making an effort and that’s been in the back of my mind since. It’s just- it’s so hard when I don’t know what’s going on in my head.”

“I need you to understand. I’m moody and angry and shit sometimes but I still love you, okay?”

She gets up slowly and opens the door to a crying Yoongi on the floor in a fetal position near the door.

“Babe…”

“I swear I’m not falling out of love with you.”

She gets down on the floor next to him and takes him in her arms, letting him cry as long as he needs to.

“You need to talk to me, Yoongi.”

He nods.

“You need to talk to me when you’re not feeling okay. This isn’t good for you, holding it in like this. I hate to see you like this. You promise me you will?”

“I promise.”

#yoongi x oc #yoongi fic #original character #tóxico #no smut #my fic #short fic #writers on tumblr #writeblr #kms #writing