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goldensunset · 2 months

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it’s breath of the wild’s 7th anniversary can i get sappy and vulnerable on main real quick cuz it completely changed my life

so it was christmas 2017 when my brother received a nintendo switch and breath of the wild. i remembered watching him play a bit the day he got it and funny enough my first thought back then upon seeing the opening cutscene was ‘wow this animation is janky’ because i thought we were watching an animated movie. the moment i realized it was a video game i was shook. bc for a game WOW how beautiful. anyway i watched him mess around and die horribly and it was funny but i didn’t think much about it

flash forward a few months later. in april of 2018- a nice spring day, must’ve been a weekend or some other time i had time off bc my friend was over- my brother came home from college and brought his nintendo switch and this game over. he had me make a file and i didn’t know what i was doing at all because i was not only unfamiliar with the game and console, but largely unfamiliar with the concept of this type of video game at all

see, i was not a gamer at all. i had played mario kart/party and some random stuff on the ds but nothing resembling an action adventure game aside from super mario 64 ds. and i never got past like the first level or so on that game bc i was bad at it as a kid and also like.. scared? of games? like a game in which you had to fight enemies and could take damage and die. even something really simple like a goomba was actively stressful to me somehow. (to this day i still kind of have the hyper-empathy mindset where letting the video game player die feels like letting a real person die i have to treat a fun work of fiction like a real life-or-death situation so i just prefer not to get into danger when i can avoid it. all that’s changed is i have the skill to face danger and accumulate ways to protect myself now lol)

soooo i don’t know what manner of madness convinced me to even try a game like breath of the wild, which is immensely more complicated and difficult than super mario 64 ds. but maybe it’s bc i was older then or bc my friend was over to help me and we were like trading the console? but you get what i’m saying. as one might expect, i was pressing the wrong buttons, getting overwhelmed by basic enemies, falling off cliffs bc i lacked precision skills in my motion, etc.

and as one might expect, i eventually got frustrated and bored. i remembered my brother asking me what my long-term strategy or plan was for playing the game, and that question sort of overwhelmed me because i was thinking ‘do i really intend to keep playing at all?’. when i put the game aside that day (after having only reached/fallen off the great plateau tower, i mean) i wasn’t really interested in continuing, and i figured i could probably never be good at it anyway.

but for some reason, and i wish i remembered why, i picked it back up again not long after. me, who had never been willing to commit to a game. maybe it was my desire to correct my failures and figure out what i was at last doing. i felt ready for a good challenge and i got the sense this was the sort of game that was more skill than luck. maybe it was the beautiful scenery and ambience. maybe it was that sense of peaceful melancholy. maybe it was because i could see so much on the horizon, so many mysteries around me, that i just had to be able to reach someday. in such a massive open world in which the plot wasn’t spoonfed to me but i had to discover it, my interest had been piqued.

or maybe it was because i was bored and depressed. i was close to the end of freshman year in high school, which had been pure misery. difficult to understate just how awful life was for me during that point in time (but it was just the terrifying cocoon stage of becoming a butterfly). so yeah, why not pick up a new piece of media? why not dive into this world? i think we all know just how powerful it is to develop a new interest when going through a rough patch- it can turn absolutely everything around. (even if it ends up distracting you from the work you need to do lol. but in my case i consider that a necessary tradeoff for giving me the serotonin my brain doesn't naturally produce enough of)

and i think there's something to be said about the medium of a video game, which was basically new to me at the time- i think it's something about the ability to have control over what's happening. in tv shows things just happen. in real life i felt like i had no control over anything. so i was suddenly able to express myself in a way that i had never gotten to before, and it was powerful. especially in an open-world game with so much to do and discover. (something something the adhd-er's wild fantasy of being able to complete tasks and make progress).

i quickly became addicted- i could play for hours on end and barely put a dent in the smallest section of the map. i couldn't believe how genuinely massive the world was and i just wanted to explore more and more, but without skipping anything i came across. i still remember in my mind exactly where i was in my house when reaching many of those early-game checkpoint places, curled up in a chair in the corner, listening to my mom make dinner in the other room... etc. the definition of nostalgia. (which is something i only have so much of given how most of my interests i didn't get into until significantly later in life. i was 15 when this was happening whereas most people's childhood nostalgia type stories are from when they were like 5 to 8. but this was such a foundational time in my life y'know?)

i remember hours of getting lost in the wilderness (i truly had the worst habit of either not getting the maps or not heeding them) and never going on the clearly marked roads bc i was convinced i could take a shortcut by just taking a straight line to my destination. which often involved attempting to scale a ridiculously steep and tall mountain with like one and a half wheels of stamina. live and learn, right?

i remember the way it took absolutely forever to reach zora's domain (the fact that i didn't get the tower map beforehand probably significantly contributed to that) so the absolute joy and relief i felt when i got there and was safe at last. i adore all the champions so much but mipha is for sure the one that messes up my heart the most to this day, as both the first one i got and the one with objectively the most emotional story. something about water levels has always unsettled me- no matter what, to me they're always associated with being cold, wet, and uncomfortable, even if it's supposed to be beautiful (and vah ruta sure wasn't meant to be for obvious reasons). especially if the player has to swim- whether there's limited breath or not, i can't help but imagine how stressful it would be to dive deep and be under pressure like that. but on the flip side, once you're finally done with those levels and back on dry land, it feels comforting. warm, dry and stable again- sort of like how you feel after you're finished crying. you had to endure the drowning and the suffering and now you're safe. that's how the vah ruta quest feels to me.

each new ruin, or quiet little settlement, really just lodged its way into my heart, but i think the location that makes me the most emotional is the flight range- its beautiful broken melody, the howling wind and snow, its position in the middle of the wilderness like a little safe haven in the mountains, the faint memory of revali... i used to just go there and sit for hours. it's just gorgeous and it hits so hard. once again, it's all about that quiet, solemn peace after a tragedy has occurred- the sadness lingers, but you learn to live again. botw just excels at this in pretty much every aspect, enough said

which comes to the central conflict of the premise- our titular heroine, zelda, and her struggles to complete her duty, her guilt complex, the pressure and loneliness she felt, etc. i have identified so closely with her for the entire time i've known her. (done a fair amount of projecting too but listen. listen) the way she felt weak and powerless and just wanted to find a way to make people happy, especially her overbearing father who didn't care enough for her happiness... that hit so hard as an emotionally volatile teenager with similar issues. to this day my dad only talks to me to nag me about something important i need to do but he's never cared about my personal interests. he acts more like my manager than my parent. throughout high school especially i just kept falling back to zelda's story every time my dad was being awful and i needed to escape him, listening to him call me lazy, behind the ball, etc when i was clearly going through severe depression that would have never even occurred to him. and while unlike zelda i still have my mom she's always been incredibly emotionally distant so there was no looking to her either. i blamed myself for everything that went wrong even though i never could've done anything without the kind of help i needed, similar to zelda

for me personally the theme of failing to succeed in the role other people were pressuring her into resonated with me and my undiagnosed... whatever it is. i am positive i am not neurotypical. i've always more or less self-identified as adhd (my parents would laugh if i suggested that) and i've never received support or treatment or anything. that plus the undiagnosed and untreated depression. the way zelda just couldn't do something that she had no idea how to even begin trying to do, the way going through the rituals that worked for other people did nothing for her... that hit hard as someone just barely trying to stay alive in high school, who always felt alienated from others and never could understand exactly why, who was bad at a lot of things... but my dad only cared about results

and in turn. the emotional catharsis of her finally unlocking the latent power she'd been struggling to reach inside her. it's never been established exactly what it was that was wrong with her that prevented her from unlocking it but i think we all know it had something to do with her heart not being free until the moment she had the courage to do something brave, dangerous, and important through her own free will- going against the grain, standing up for someone she loved, etc. that's an essay for another time tho. to me that's what makes it so powerful- yeah this (back)story is still a tragedy, but there's hope. she found her own path. she still had to undergo lots of suffering afterwards but she had what she needed to succeed. and she got her happy ending in the end. i probably don't need to explain why that's so meaningful to me as someone who loves her so much and relates too hard. also her dad died (i am NOT wishing that upon my dad to be clear). i mean for her that's a bad thing bc he did regret his actions and never get to apologize to her and she wishes she had gotten to see him again but also that's in the fantasy world where one could reasonably expect their father to change. i've kind of given up on that but maybe someday after we've gotten some distance... idk

in short. botw hits me like a truck with the way it brings you so, so low, in the pits of despair, and then brings you back up. not everything is fixed and perfect at the end, the characters who died stay dead, but they finally get to pass on and rest in peace. we free zelda. we bring back the most significant parts of link's memory. we watch the broken and scattered world begin to grow and breathe again. perfectly cathartic and hopeful and powerful for someone going through such awful things. i'm not out of the woods yet with all my ten thousand problems but i'm in a much better place now. i've typed way too many words here and it's still like not enough to express just how much this game means to me. i could go on forever and ever about the things i find objectively good about this game but this ramble was meant to focus on the subjective meanings i've found within it. breath of the wild has been nothing short of a blessing for me. thank you nintendo, truly.

#peach rambles #breath of the wild #botw #this is very long but if you're interested in my character lore and backstory

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celestie0 · 21 days

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How do u write such long fics......and method and tips u follow ^^...

Luv you recent choso fic chap 💗💗

hiii my dear tysm for the love for my new choso seriess i appreicate it :”) also apologies for the delay on answering this!!

ahh yes i think for me it’s just easier to write longer fics bc im able to get into headspace of characters a bit better (opposed to having a concept n getting into meat of things straight away perhaps like w a oneshot, i’m super bad at conceptualizing things easily unless there’s a more prolonged plot i guess) but also i think i just prefer longer length stories (always been a series over movies kinda gal)

kickoff is my first series n one of the first fanfics ive ever written so im most definitely still figuring things out as i go along 🤣 but sure i can share some of the methods & tips ive used!!

as for methods, i just plan out a general idea and premise at first that can help two characters get closer (kickoff case was just gojo n reader’s lil agreement to help eachother out w their favors) cuz i think thats really important to get a ball rolling. n then i sort of loosely planned the rest of the series but tbh i’ve scrapped soooo many ideas along the way lmfao. but that’s ok! there were chapters n scenes where certain things i had planned out just didn’t make sense or fit in the way i thought they would’ve, and i made a last minute decision (sometimes even mid writing a preplanned scene i would suddenly switch directions lmfao) but i think w longer fics its important to be flexible. it’s ok if plans change, sometimes better answers will find you along the way!! and that’s only a testament to how well you’re getting to know your own story and also your own characters

i think the hardest thing to do w longer fics is finding motivation to continue w it (instead of just starting it n then you lose interest in writing more lmfaoo i did this w a nanami fic unfortunately) but the thing that helped me w kickoff was having a scene later on that i was really looking forward to writing, one that i had planned out in very early stages so that it gave me something to look forward to! and by the time i ended up finishing that scene, i had written enough at that point to want to keep writing it n i found momentum w the story. so that can definitely help w regards to keeping up motivation while you’re in the early stages of writing a longer length fic

yeah i’d say these two are my biggest tips for writing longer works in general :”) i hope this helps in anyway if you’re also a writer!! thank u for the ask bb <3

#writing tips #asks #anon

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dre6ming · 2 years

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Tell me…was it worth it?~I thought you quit~sequel

“I stayed there” series -part II

Masterlist here

〘Part I 〙〘Part III〙〘Part IV 〙〘Part V 〙

To be added to the tag list click here

Pairing: Austin Butler x fem reader

Warnings: a little swearing, crying, idk I think that’s it, fluff angst

Plot: it’s been three years, but you’re still stuck there with him. Austin got the part for Elvis and finished the movie, he moved on, or so you think. Going back home your luck makes it so that you meet again, but it’s not the same as it was.

Word count: 2100+

Disclaimer: I don’t want to make Kaia a villain, I don’t know her and I have nothing against her, I’m just describing the way I think the reader would see Austin’s gf on the outside.

After that day in the park time went on for the both of you, but differently. For him it past by very fast, two weeks after your break up the news of him getting the role of his life were everywhere, he was doing press in the Elvis voice and you could see it in his eyes that he was lost in this person he now played. He looked happy and you almost forgot you walked for an hour in the cold, butt wet from your fall, tears soaked into the collar of your sweater, you almost forgot and you felt happy for him, but before you went to look for his number in the contacts to congratulate him, you remembered. So you cried.

For you time went on different, somehow slower, you were busy with studying, every day in med school seamed harder than the last, but you loved it, plus every time you wanted to cry from how tired you were over learning so much, his words pushed you further. "Just fucking drop out already" he had said to you, slapping you over the face with that one intrusive thought you had, so you were always pushing on those words to prove you can finish and be a doctor. All the college work helped erase the event from you mind, but his memory was forever alive. There were times when you'd wake up and think it was all a dream, than you'd pull up that picture album and look at it, cause it was in fact true, just always so private. Only your families knew he was your boyfriend, for "privacy reasons" he had said, which made you feel special, he wanted you all to himself. But then again there were those thoughts that he was ashamed you were not a famous girl with a Covergirl bod.

Now it's three years later, a heartbreak and a pandemic put behind you. You sit in the chair, in the big stadium, dressed in your graduation gown. The say your name, you get up, take the diploma with shaky hands, smile for the picture, get down from the podium, hug your parents and cry, because you're 26 and finally a doctor. At the after party you drink with your best friend (bff/n) and manage to get a little tipsy. As the coordinator gets in the stage to tell you all to settle down, your heart starts to race, the waiters handing out the small envelopes. Each one has the name on the student it belongs to on it and inside is the name of the place where you got accepted for you residency. Your sweaty hands cause the envelope to dampen and to wrinkles at it's edges. You share a look with (bff/n) and you open it.

"New Amsterdam, New York!!" She screams as she got her number one option she wished for. "What did you get?" You look at the name and start to cry, a ticket back home. "Los Angeles community hospital, LA" you say trying to make it believable that you are finally moving back home, after 6 years of medical school in Boston. You are so happy, you hug you best friend and order another round of drinks to enjoy.

-one month later-

As you bring the last box of things into your small two bedroom apartment you smile to yourself. You've made it so far that it seams like a dream, but you are not ready to wake up, if that's the case. You bought the small apartment with the money you still had left in you college fund, since along the years you got scholarships here and there to help pay for your studies. The 50 square meters apartment has a nice cozy vibe, it is an open concept plan, with the kitchen looking into the living room. It's also conveniently just one hour away from the hospital and two hours away from your parents house all the way in Anaheim where you grew up. That's how you met Austin, you were 22 back then and on summer vacation visiting your family. One night when you decided to camp outside and sleep on the nearby beach you met him. At first you didn't know he who he was, you didn't know he was a famous actor, not even after he told you his full name, guess he liked that...until he didn't anymore.

You shake your head at the thought of him, it's been three years, but you never allowed another relationship, you focused on your studies and that was that. Austin on the other hand, while busy with filming Elvis, managed to add 3 new girlfriends to his belt, the most recent one being a 20 year old model. For a while it was easy to forget about him, but then he started promoting the movie and he was everywhere.

You start to unpack some of the boxes and as the sun sets you finished putting everything in your bedroom and part of the kitchen. Too tired to do anything else, you skip dinner and just go to bed. It takes you a full week to settle in, unpack everything and do some shopping. You still have 3 weeks before you start your internship year at the hospital so you pick this Sunday as the best day to finally go over to your parents house and visit them. The drive is nice, but way to crowded for your liking and unfortunately way too hot, that's the one thing you liked about Boston, it was never this hot. Pulling up in your parents driveway, you are reminded of the last time you were here years ago before your break up. It's safe to say you avoided LA for the purpose of not having to face him again, but now it's been years and you're mature and grown. Right?!

You get out of the car, lock it and go inside, where your dad is on the sofa in the living room watching a movie. "Hi dad!" He gets up, big smile on his face. His hug is so tight the air is pushed out of you, so you pet his back to let him know. "My doctor daughter!! Honey, the doctor is home!" He called you doctor since you got into meds school but now that you graduated, he seams to have forgotten you have a name, that is not doctor. Your mom comes from the bedroom and hugs you, she is happy to see you, but she keeps to herself. It's safe to say she's a lot colder than your dad. "It's nice to see you, (y/n)!" She lets go of you and goes back to her business, typical.

After an hour on the sofa with your dad, you decide it would be nice to go for a walk on the beach. You get up, go to your old room, pick a random novel out of your bookcase and go. The sand between your toes feels nice, the warmth of it travels through your body. You pick a place under one of the many palm trees, so you stay covered in the shadow, put your beach towel down and sit. You fly through half of your book pretty fast, the plot captures you so much that when you feel something wet touch your feet, you get startled. The white pup in front of you keeps licking your feet despite you trying to hide them in the sand. You pet it and it makes is way into your lap. Looking up you search for the owner "Sheldon!" You hear a male voice say and as soon as you see him and put a face to the stranger's voice, your whole body grows cold, you want to throw up. He comes near you, but with your head down he doesn't seam to figure out who you are right away, or maybe he just forgot who you were. "Sheldon, come here buddy!" The dog gets up from your lap and goes back to his owner. "I'm sorry, he doesn't really do that, people kinda scare him off" Austin says. His Elvis voice is still with him it seams. "That's ok" you don't look at him, you can't, so you just wait for him to go, but he lingers a moment to long.

"(Y/n)?!" the moment your name leaves his lips, you look up at him, he can now see your face and he can't believe it's really you. "Yeah.." that's all you say as he stays there looking you up and down, you haven't changed at all besides your hair being longer and you maybe losing a few pounds, you still look the same. So does he, but yet it feels like you're looking at a stranger. His hair is back to his natural dark blonde and he looks considerably healthier than he did when you left him in the middle of that park back in Boston. "What are you doing here, I haven't seen you in ages!" Austin stands over you, cream colored pants rolled up and thin white T-shirt moving on his torso with the blow of the wind. You stay quiet, you don't want to talk to him.

"Babe, why did you run like that!" A voice says from behind him. He turns around as the girl approaches him. It's the model. The 20 year old beautiful model. You begin to pack you bag as she puts her arms around his neck and gives him a kiss on the cheek. "I had to catch Sheldon, sorry" he answers, then he turns to you, seeing you pack up to leave. "So how have you been?" He asks. Does he really care? No way he does. "Good." You keep your answer short and cold.

"How's school going?" Oh my gosh you can't believe him, he really wants to do small talk with you now? "Finished." You glance at the girl on his arm she's busy looking at her phone not interested in who he was talking to. "Oh so you dropped out in the end?" You blink turning your head, no way he just slapped you with his words like that. "I graduated, Austin!" His name tastes like poison on your lips. "Oh that's great, congratulations!" You nod, putting you bag on your shoulder as you begin to walk away. "Hey!" You feel his hand on you arm and pull away. He looks at you confused. "What would you say to grabbing a coffee with me sometime?" You know he didn't just ask you that, you know you imagined it, you're crazy, that's what this is. "What?" You look back at his girlfriend, but she doesn't care, preoccupied with something else. "Coffee with me? Casual of course, just to catch up, you know!" He explains pushing his hair back. "No, I'm sorry, but no." And just like that you walk away, crying.

This person you just talked to wasn't your Austin. Your Austin was sweet, shy, reserved, considerate, always careful with his words, gentle and kind. This Austin was something else, some of those things you could still see, but there was arrogance now, cockiness, he was a Hollywood star you guessed.

Back at your parents house after dinner you lay in bed, scrolling through your phone. Involuntarily you open up the contacts app and look at his number, you never deleted it, you kept it. You even unblocked it a week after blocking it, you hoped he'd text you back, to say he got the part and that he was sorry. You wanted him back, or you at least wanted his last words to you to be something more than "I think we should break up!". You close your phone and put it back on your nightstand.

For the rest of the night you toss and turn, you can't shut your mind off , but when you finally fall asleep you dream of him. His voice, his smell and you wake up shaking, licking your lips, somehow tasting him on them. You sit up in bed and take your phone in your hand. Mind cloudy with anger you find his number and start writing your text.

"Tell me! Was it worth it?"

You quickly press to delete it, but you accidentally hit send. Your heart drops in your stomach, you feel like you might pass out. The last text you send him, was still there, he never answered it or if he did you had blocked him and the text never went through. All you can do now is pray he changed his number.

That hope dies fast as you see the 3 bubbles indicating he was writing back to you, appear on your phone.

Fuck? What is he going to say?

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astupidweeb69 · 2 years

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Unrequited (Yandere! Ticci Toby x Reader) Part 6

Next Chapters: Part 7, Part 8, Part 9

Links to Previous Chapters: Part 1, Part 2, Part 3, Part 4, & Part 5

Author’s Note: This chapter has some heavy topics in it, especially towards the beginning about abuse. I’ve alluded to the reader in this story having a past that’s important to the plot, so I wanted to show that a little bit and where their whole paranoia and anger stems from.

Hopefully, this came out okay. Cross-posted on my Ao3 account which I update quicker.

Warnings: Swearing. Referenced child abuse (there is an actual scene in this but the reader is 18). Abusive relationships in general. Canon-typical violence. (5,241 words). This chapter is so long lol.

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“If someone’s going to get violent with you, you have to be willing to get more fucking violent.”

This was the kind of advice you had been given growing up.

An overall theme of being able to stoop lower than anybody. To have no line you wouldn’t cross to ensure victory. Even if that meant getting your hands dirty. Rigging the game.

And if you ever found yourself in a fair fight, you’ve already done something wrong.

It was your dad who put these thoughts into your head, and for a good portion of your childhood, you thought nothing of it. Like any kid, you believed your upbringing was normal.

Thankfully, this didn’t last.

You knew better now.

When you’re young, you’re naïve, and you look at the world with rose-colored glasses. Unable to see all the obvious red flags in front of you. But you were clever enough to figure out that most of the time, your dad was full of shit. Projecting his own personality onto everyone else, assuming everyone around him had the same cutthroat attitude he did.

Though you had come to this realization, it didn’t make unlearning all his fucked-up lessons that were spoon-fed to you since you were a baby easy.

His manipulation of your mind could range from more extreme notions to subtle ideas you still caught yourself believing today if you weren’t careful enough.

He was smart.

There’s a certain depiction of an abuser that TV and movies love to use. A stupid man in a dirty wife-beater who’s always angry. So blatantly vile in their actions, no redeemable qualities to be seen. Almost non-human. Those types of toxic people are out there, but it’s rarer. Most of the time, abusers are more insidious.

There was a reason it took you so long to leave after all.

Some days you wanted nothing more than to spend time with him, ask for his advice, his opinions. A longing to have him parent you. And he could do that. He could fit that role when it suited him and make you feel loved. There were times that you had even been in trouble, over something that was your fault, and you would be so scared to tell him. But when you finally did, he’d be totally understanding, and you’d question why you were so hesitant in the first place.

However, this never lasted. Abuse is a cycle, you never forgot that. There are four stages to look for. The tension, the incident, the reconciliation, and the calm. And these periods don’t always have to last the same amount of time. For you, sometimes the calm would last half a year. Sometimes only a day. Because another thing to keep in mind is that an abuser is a person too. They have emotions. So, in periods of their lives when they are more stressed, they become more volatile. You despised the fact that this concept was never told to you growing up. Because everything your father did to you was so inconsistent, it took you too long to recognize that what you were going through wasn’t normal.

That your feelings of betrayal, sadness, and fear were valid.

And at the age of 18, you were ready to put a stop to it.

Anne was your biggest supporter. Her house had become a second home to you growing up, her family having some awareness of your situation.

But Anne knew everything. All the details.

The two of you made plans to leave your hometown together. Being the rich kid that she was, her parents were sending her to college at a place where they owned their second home. You’d stay there while she stayed on campus. But you needed time before making any decisions to join higher education.

You didn’t know what you wanted.

You didn’t know who the fuck you were.

You just knew you couldn’t follow the strict plans your dad had for you in life.

And you wanted to feel safe.

That’s why you found yourself frantically packing up the rest of your things from your father’s house. Anne was waiting for you at her home with a U-Haul truck ready to go, all you needed was to get to her before your dad came home from work.

He couldn’t find out about this.

Not until you were long gone.

But life had a funny way of screwing you over. Always dealing you a bad hand.

Before you made it out the door with your last suitcase, the always anxiety-inducing sound of your dad’s car tires pulling up the driveway made you stop.

He had come home early.

“(Y/N)? What’s going on?”

He came through the door leading to the garage, tossing his keys on the table next to it. The look on his face a mixture of confusion and concern.

You knew that wouldn’t last long.

There you were, halfway down the stairs from your bedroom with a suitcase in hand. No matter what you said there was no mistaking your intentions. You weren’t the first to leave him, after all.

As expected, his face turned cold. Seeing how you only stared back at him with wide eyes from being caught red-handed. You didn’t say a word.

“Answer me. What are you doing?” He walked swiftly towards the bottom of the stairs. Blocking your only escape.

It angered you.

A reaction you without a doubt learned from him.

A dumb response, but it was the one you chose to have at this moment. This was the final time you’d have to confront him.

No matter how much he hurt you, you’d fight back.

“You know exactly what I’m doing.”

Your heart beat fast. Just because you’ve challenged him plenty of times before, never made it any less terrifying.

Your dad’s face twisted in anger. You could see the rage start to build. And in a second, you were going to feel it too.

“That’s it? That’s all I get? After everything I’ve done for you. All the sacrifices I’ve made. The money I spent. I care about you. And now you just fucking run out on me just like your delinquent brother!”

The steps creaked as he approached you.

You backed up, all the way to the top of the stairs

Almost face to face now, he sighed, forming a tired smile. “Listen, I’m sorry I lost my temper. Let’s just take a seat in the living room and we can talk.”

You knew what this was.

An apology soon turned into another long-winded explanation about how he feels bad. That being a single dad is just so hard sometimes. That every parent makes mistakes trying to do right by their kids. You’ve heard it all before. And you were done listening.

“Fuck you.”

It rolled off the tongue easily when directed at him. You made your bed, and now you were going to sleep in it.

The first fist was expected.

It made contact with your right shoulder, but you hardly reacted.

All you could focus on was the look in his eye. The utter hate. Every time you two got into an altercation like this it always put you in a state of shock at first. That your father, the one who was supposed to love and support you could suddenly treat you like this. A disgusting betrayal that broke all trust. He wasn’t the same person now, and you, the one in front of him, were no longer his child. Only a reminder that he was failing. Something to punch into submission.

Your reflexes kicked in.

Years of practice had made you pick up a few moves on your own. From the corner of your eye, you saw his leg swing back, ready to kick your shins and knock you down.

You caught it in both arms before he had the chance. It wasn’t graceful and it stung a bit, but you knew what you were doing.

And you knew when you used his own leg to push him back, that all that awaited him now was the fall down those stairs.

A smile stretched on your lips as you watched.

Even though you’d never admit it, you felt some weird sense of accomplishment and strength whenever you were able to hurt him back.

He tumbled down hard, clumsily landing at the bottom with his limbs splayed out. At some point, he must’ve tried to use his arm to break his fall, because now he was cradling it, broken.

You ran down the stairs, skipping a couple of steps while holding your suitcase, making a break for the door.

You could hear your dad screaming at you the whole time, your brain not even processing his words. His pleads.

Just basking in the sunshine as you finally left for good.

************************************

It didn’t matter how old you were now. How much you’ve grown; how much you’ve moved on. Stuff like what happened with Toby can still bring you back to that place.

And suddenly, you’re a kid again.

When he left that night, you practically jumped into Anne’s arms. She knew something was up, probably having seen the person responsible storm out of your house.

You were never a touchy person, so initiating a hug made it clear you were beyond upset.

It was an unspoken agreement that Anne would stay with you until you settled down. Especially after you told her the last thing he said to you.

“You’ll be seeing me again soon, (Y/N)”

A promise.

A threat.

Most likely both.

On the one hand, it made you terrified, and on the other it made you want to kill him. That some person could have the audacity to treat you this way after you had let them into your home. Shared something with them that you were fond of. You even made him dinner for Christ’s sake.

And then he texted you.

Anne and you had been curled up on the couch together. You refused to go to sleep, afraid he might show up again, instead watching a lighthearted comedy to take your mind off everything.

Originally you wanted to text him back, ‘Eat shit and die.’ But your friend convinced you that probably wouldn’t help the situation.

You had to hand the phone over to Anne so she could write a more eloquent response than the many insults you had planned.

Toby didn’t say anything back. A part of you was hoping that it meant he’d taken the hint that things were going nowhere between the two of you. That this would be the end of it.

It made you relieved enough to finally get some rest for the night.

Now, it was morning.

Anne had made chocolate chip pancakes for breakfast. A tradition you guys had whenever you’d stay at her parents’ house when you were kids to get away from your father. The gesture was nice but still reminded you of those dark days all the same.

She stared at you, sipping coffee from her mug, as you lazily picked at the fluffy disks with a fork. “I need to tell you something.”

Your tired eyes slowly drifted up. “What?”

Anne looked at you with pity. “I have a four-hour-long exam this afternoon, so I have to leave you for a little bit. I tried emailing my professor to put it off for a day, but he said no. Engineering teachers can be such dicks.”

Her words made you feel pathetic. Like a helpless victim. Someone who would never escape all the fucked-up things their past did to them. This was why it was so hard for you to tell your other friends about your family. Once you told people, it was like that was all they could see. Using it like some overzealous psychology student to explain everything you did in the present.

But you knew Anne had your best interest in mind.

You forced a weak smile. “I’ll be fine on my own for a couple hours. I don’t need you to babysit me all the time, you know.” At times like these, you felt like you had to lighten the mood. Crack a joke. Not bum the other person out so much that they get fed up and leave. And Anne had done nothing but help this entire time. The guilt was killing you.

Of course, your friend saw right through your façade.

“No, you’re not fine.” She sighed. Not giving you the chance to disagree, she continued. “Listen, before you got up, I called my mom and told her what happened. While I’m gone, she said she’ll come over for some ‘girl time’. She’s bringing over homemade empanadas so you can’t say no.”

You raised a brow, “Girl time?”

“Her words, not mine.” Anne chuckled.

Even though you didn’t want to inconvenience anybody, it was hard to refuse her mom’s cooking. “I guess I’ll allow it.” You smirked. As if you had much of a choice in the matter.

“Good. I’m going to get some last-minute studying done.”

She got up from her chair putting her plates in the sink.

*****************************

Anne had left you alone once again. Fortunately, this time you didn’t have any plans to have dinner and a movie with a crazy man.

You hadn’t eaten since breakfast, and it was closing in on almost 3 pm. But you wanted to save room for the promised empanadas, mouth watering at the mere thought of them.

The house was unusually cold that afternoon, and it was a struggle to find something to do while you waited. Although you had slept last night, it wasn’t nearly enough, so you found yourself in a mental fog. Constantly trying to fight back yawns, not wanting to take a nap in case Anne’s mother showed up while you were passed out.

Finally, the doorbell rang.

Excitement overwhelmed you, and without thinking, you made a mad dash to the front entrance to let the visitor in. Grabbing the handle, you hastily opened the door with a huge smile.

A familiar stench overpowered your senses.

Sandalwood and lavender

Your breath hitched.

“(Y-Y/N)”

No.

Oh fuck no.

It wasn’t Anne’s mom.

“SHIT!”

Eyes wide with fear, you tried to slam the door shut.

A dirty boot suddenly wedged itself in between the frame, forcing it to stay open.

Forcing you to face the last person on earth you wanted to see.

Toby.

He stood as tall as ever in front of you. A dull green hoodie with stripes and a blue hood. Gripping a large bouquet of roses in his hand so hard you could see the thorns had started cutting him.

“I’m nuh-not here to hurt you, (Y/N).” He sounded timid. Like a shy young boy trying to speak to their crush for the first time. A stark contrast to how he’d been the night before.

You could feel your knees starting to tremble. Your hand still gripped the side of the door, trying to force it to close with the full weight of your body, even with the man’s shoe still preventing it.

“I juh-just wanted to a-puh-logize to you formally.” His eyebrows furrowed, watching you start to kick his foot out of the way. “Quit it. I only want to tuh-talk.”

He was starting to get annoyed. You could tell. And from everything you’ve experienced with him before you knew it would only get worse.

“Leave me alone.” You huffed out, slamming your entire frame repeatedly now on the wood of the door.

It started to budge a bit, inches away from closing.

Toby growled, shoving his arm into the small crack. Slithering his entire body halfway through the entrance, reaching out his arm to grab you. His face was crushed by the doorframe, but you could still see the expression of frustration and rage. Something you were all too familiar with.

“Just let.” His body moved forward.

“Me.” He was almost inside.

“IN.”

The door swung open violently on its hinges, knocking you back in the process.

Falling on your ass, you scrambled to get up and get the fuck away from him.

Large hands gripped both your shoulders, spinning you around before you had the chance.

His eyes were wide looking down at you. “I’m suh-sorry I had to do that. Are you okay?” He was smiling.

This man was completely unhinged.

Toby started rubbing your arms, gliding up and down. An act typically made to calm a person down. But that wasn’t his intent. The man’s face was fully red, almost drooling. He just liked using any excuse to put his disgusting mitts on you.

You jerked out of his hold, contorting your face into the most menacing look you could muster. “Don’t. Fucking. Touch me.”

Ignoring you, he cocked his head to the side, glancing down at the flowers he had brought that were now on the floor. The petals had been crushed and scattered around during the scuffle. He started twitching aggressively.

“Now look what you did. I wuh-went through all that trouble.” Toby muttered, barely audible.

Snapping his eyes back to you, he grinned again, emotions quickly switching gears. “No wuh-worries though. I wasn’t even sure if you liked thuh-those kinds of flowers. I can get you a different kind.”

Was he serious? Did he forget what the hell he just did? Breaking into your home, knocking you down, then acting like the two of you were a couple. What was he going to do next? Start picking out china patterns?

You started to shake. You couldn’t tell if it was from anger or fear.

Fists clenching, your nails dug hard into your skin to the point you drew blood.

“Get out.”

He looked at you confused.

“Get out.”

Your voice was beginning to rise.

“Get. OUT.”

Toby didn’t move, watching your outburst in disbelief.

“GET OUT!”

Silence.

He blinked and took a deep breath. Lifting his head, he stared past you, a distant look in his gaze. He seemed lost in thought before opening his mouth to speak.

“No.”

It was like he was answering a simple question. Making a firm decision and telling you matter-of-factly. It didn’t sound like a threat. But you knew it was.

You backed away.

Like a predator realizing its prey was about to escape its claws, Toby changed his stance. Getting ready to attack.

“Wuh-where are you going?” His eyes narrowed, piercing into every fiber of your being. “I only wuh-want –“

You ran.

There wasn’t a clear path to go. The only exit from the house was through Toby, and he could easily grab you if you tried going on either side of him.

The only way left was behind you.

Upstairs.

You cursed inwardly, hastily climbing the steps. This was one of the things you always hated in horror movies. When the protagonist cornered themselves on the second floor.

Maybe you could jump out a window?

Adrenaline fueling your thoughts, you quickly looked around at the top of the stairs trying to decide the best place to go. Behind you, Toby’s heavy footsteps pounded on the floor trying to catch up. Growling a string of expletives from his lips.

Although tempted to run to your bedroom, instead you settled for the guest room. It was closer and had a balcony. You never stayed in there because the large glass door leading to the outside made you feel unsafe. Like anybody could scale up the side of the house, break-in, and slit your throat while you slept.

How ironic that it’s now become the best possible way to escape danger.

Slamming the door behind, you locked it and rushed over to the exit. With only a slight turn to the metal handle, the glass double doors burst open, a rush of wind blowing the curtains haphazardly around you.

There was a storm brewing outside. Heavy gray clouds cast a shadow that gave the illusion of nighttime. God, could this be any more cliché?

You bent slightly over the railing, looking down at the two-story drop. It made your head spin. Your mind subconsciously trying to get you to back away and retreat. Your feet were firmly planted on the ground, and every time you tried to will it forward you found yourself hesitating.

Toby was slamming on the bedroom door, you thought that locking it would buy you more time, but you could already hear wood splintering. He didn’t look strong enough to break down a door so quickly given his sickly complexion. But being proven wrong was a regular occurrence today.

A new plan hatched in your brain, remembering something you’d almost forgotten about. The closet.

With the doors to the balcony opened, if you hid now, it might trick the psycho trying to get you that you’ve already left.

And in case that plan failed, this closet in particular held all the things you wanted to forget about.

You opened the storage space discretely, closing it behind you as your hands tried to feel out your old hunting bag. A gift from your father. Containing all the little weapons and survival guides he’d attempted to force on you since you were a child. You undid the zipper, fishing around for something that could help you defend yourself.

The first thing you recognized was a tiny pair of brass knuckles. Far too small for you now. Your dad had welded them from an old belt buckle of his, specifically to fit a child’s hand. Obviously, you never used them. The next item was a serrated hunting knife. Something to gut fish with, not that you ever liked doing that, but it could probably gut crazy guys trying to kill you too, right? You tucked it away in your pants. Using knives meant close combat. Too risky. But you’d keep it on your person just in case. Finally, your hand touched a cool metal rod. It was folded up into itself. A retractable military-grade police baton stick. Another one of his strange “gifts”. When you’d asked him where he got it all he said was “the internet”. Whatever that means.

This was the only time in your life you’ve been thankful for getting these things instead of regular toys for your birthday. Hopefully, you could figure out how to use them.

The door finally gave way, you could hear Toby stumble inside the room swearing. You clutched the metal weapon against your chest.

You were afraid. You hated that. Hated that you could feel this way inside your own home. That an intruder had come onto your territory to threaten your safety. The life you’ve painstakingly had to rebuild.

Through gritted teeth, you tried to channel these fears into anger. A mechanism to give yourself courage.

You needed to be alert, and you focused on listening to every movement Toby made outside your hiding place. Pretending that you were the predator now. Listening for the perfect time to strike.

His footsteps immediately went to the balcony. The sound of feet shuffling on the tile outside, he was probably trying to see if he could catch a glimpse of your retreating form.

You heard him step back inside calmly, no longer seeming to be in much of a hurry.

“Hmmm, I wuh-wonder where (Y/N) went!” He purred playfully.

Your stomach dropped.

Oh fuck.

Did he actually figure out you were still here or was he just trying to trick you?

Either way, you were staying put.

“Muh-maybe… UNDER THIS PILLOW?” You heard the covers and cushions of the bed being swiped off the mattress.

Toby snapped his fingers, fake disappointment in his voice, “Damn!”.

He was mocking you. Treating this like some kind of game. What a thoroughly fucked up guy.

“Or muh-maybe…”

For a second you thought he was making his way to your hiding spot, but he walked right past it.

“IN THIS DRAWER?”

You heard various small items being scattered around the ground, as Toby flung one of the drawers to an old vanity table on the floor. It landed right in front of where you were, the only thing separating you from it being the door of the closet. You almost yelped from surprise.

It wouldn’t be long before he found you. Whether he thought you were in this room or not, it was obvious he was going to check every nook and cranny anyway.

But who said you had to sit there and wait?

Toby was moving back to the bed now. Probably to start checking actual hiding spots, you realized. The typical ones. Under the bed. In the closet. The only possible places you could be.

Lucky for you his first choice was wrong.

It was a gamble, with the odds stacked high against you, but you slowly creaked the door to the closet open and peeked.

There he was, in all his manic glory, looking down at the bed. Facing away from you.

“Or maybe…”

It was a whisper this time, but you still caught it. He must’ve really thought you were under there for some reason.

Toby knelt down, expecting to find you huddled up in fear.

Now was your chance.

You exploded out of the closet. Flicking your arm, you heard the click of the baton as it grew to its full length.

Toby whipped his head around, caught off guard. He staggered trying to stand back up and face the attack.

There was a look of shock in his eye that you relished when you struck down across his face.

“Take that you fuck!” You sneered down at him, feeling the rush of successfully turning the tables.

He fell back on his side, clutching his face with both hands while groaning in pain.

You smirked.

But then he stopped.

Slowly, he moved his fingers, showing you wild eyes full of hysterical joy, a stream of blood trickling down from his temple. He giggled like a schoolgirl.

Your eyes widened.

What the fuck?

A hit like that would take anybody down. Batons were no joke. At the very least it should’ve taken him more time to recover.

“I don’t FEEL puh-pain.”

You didn’t even get a chance to process his words before you felt a large hand grab your ankle. He pulled harshly, making you lose your balance.

Your arm shot out attempting to catch yourself, the baton slipping out of your hand and rolling towards the open window.

Toby’s grip tightened its hold on your leg while you tried to crawl towards it. With your other foot, you kicked his face while trying to peel his fingers off.

You finally managed to land a good blow between his eyes, and being temporarily blinded, his grasp loosened. You used the opportunity to jerk your ankle away.

Standing up, you ran to the weapon, picking it up and spinning around.

Toby faced you, now at his full height too. He tilted his head to the side, eyes lidded while smiling brightly. Like he was having the time of his life.

You took a couple of warning swings, glaring at him. “Stay back jackass! I will KILL you if I have to!” You weren’t entirely sure if you could kill somebody, but the rage you felt at this moment made you tempted to try.

He licked his lips, face turning flush yet again.

“Oh, I duh-don’t doubt it, (Y/N).”

Holy shit this guy was gross.

Toby steadily approached your smaller form, a devious look in his eyes, arms outstretched getting ready to strike.

You slowly retreated onto the balcony.

The wind raged fiercely, the sheer white curtains whipping past your head.

It was hard to breathe.

The intenseness of each step he took.

Like he already had you by the throat.

Your back hit the railing, the only thing stopping you from tumbling off the edge.

Completely unbothered, Toby moved the white fabric that fluttered around to the side. He was so close now you could hear him breathing.

You raised your weapon over your head, hands shaking, and swung forward.

He caught your arm.

Fuck.

With his free hand, he quickly grabbed the baton and tossed it on the ground behind him.

Now you just stared up at him, like a deer caught in the headlights, watching him raise your arm up high.

He was grinning so wide now it looked like it must’ve hurt. But you had learned the hard way that it didn’t. Nothing did.

He forced you on your tip toes. You thought for sure he was going to completely lift you off the floor and throw you over the ledge.

But he didn’t.

In a state of complete confusion, you were daintily twirled around, and in one swift motion he dipped you. Putting his face so close his lips brushed against yours.

“Isn’t this nuh-nice?” He murmured.

Was this all some kind of fucking dance to him?

Regaining your composure, the initial shock finally dying down, you pushed him away. Now the positions switched, you in the doorway to the bedroom, him leaning on the balcony’s railing. His arms were crossed, flashing you a sinister smile. Looking so proud of himself for some ungodly reason.

That smug look.

Your blood boiled.

On instinct you reeled back your fist, punching him, nose letting out a sickening crunch at the force, while his head flew to the side.

He blinked for a second before turning to you, his face contorted with wrath. The madness and bloodlust inside him revealing themselves again.

His leg lifted off the ground, ready to make impact with your body.

But you’ve done this before.

Too many times.

In both arms, the muscle memory triggered, the ungraceful movement catching his leg.

There was a pause where neither one of you moved. Toby looked down at where you held his shin near your waist, perplexed and starting to lose his balance.

With a grin, you pushed him back with as much force as you could. His arms flailing, and his body about to fall over the railing.

You had won.

Or so you thought.

In a last-ditch effort, he grabbed the curtains, almost tearing them in the process. Oh, how you wished that they had.

Pulling himself back up, he stared at you with widened eyes. Surprised that you actually managed to do something like that. It wasn’t anything that would make him think you were secretly an expert fighter. But it was enough to show you clearly have more experience than you let on.

Another one of his crazed smiles stretched across his face.

“You’re good, (Y/N)”

He paused, letting his words sink in. You tried to back up a bit, not liking the look in his eyes.

“But yuh-you know what? I’m better.”

He tackled you to the ground making you scream. Immediately pinning down both your arms, you thrashed trying anything to get him off.

You could hear him laughing under his breath watching you fail.

His arm reached out to grab something off to the side.

The baton.

“Wait! Please don’t!” You pleaded, trying to make your voice sound as pathetic as possible. The only hope now being that he’d take pity on you.

With the weapon raised above his head, his expression softened with a love-sick gaze.

For a second, you thought he was letting you go.

You were wrong.

“I’m suh-sorry things had to turn out this way.”

And he swung down.

#creepypasta #ticci toby #ticci toby x reader #toby rogers #toby rogers x reader #yandere ticci toby #x reader #yandere #yandere creepypasta #yandere creepypasta x reader #fanfiction #my writing #horror #obsessive behavior #yandere ticci toby x reader #swearing

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fecto-forgo · 4 months

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3, 6, 9, 12, 19?

have already answered 3 !

6.episode of tv or webisode that defined the year for you?

i only rly watched fionna and cake so if i had to pickkkk id say the winter king episode ! theres a reason its everyones favorite lmao.the farm world one is p cool too i just hope someone told finn where his kid went in the last episode 💔

9.best month for you this year?

(thought i had known someone for a couple weeks when we had met five months ago no concept of time) ...uhhh april bc it was easter n i get chocolate on easter.or back in july where i got a sprinkles candy apple n chocolate covered strawberries.or wtv month we had the most pizza.wait was getting free cake samples this year.WAIT WHENEVER MONTH MY MOMS BOYFRIENDS NEPHEW HAD A BIRTHDAY PARTY N SHE BOUGHT COCONUT CANDY N A CAKE SLICE BACK FOR ME.THAT SPIDERMAN CAKE WAS MAD GOOD EVEN THO THE DYE STAINED EVERYTHING

my adhd makes it rly hard to recall when events happened n when i demand a more time accurate memory it just gives me yummy food man 💔

12.talk about a new friend you made this year

hi kiki are you reading this are you reading this hi kiki hi kiki hi kiki are you reading this HI KIKI ARE YOU READING THIS.hi 🩷

19.what’re you excited about for next year?

i want.to eat a pavé :) or get the festa junina candies again.n also getting an easter egg.also i want to eat a cake.again my adhd memory loss n time perception r so severe i start getting upset if i notice i cant remember too many things so i just default to wanting food anyways LMAO

oh!!! oh actually im planning a mass sonic games playthrough once i finish my pokemon one!!! im excited abt that one :3

waittt is the next madoka movie next year...im excited if so i wanna see nagisa again i want her to have her magia record characterization so bad...

oh i also get to go to the cinema bc of sonic movie three!!! beyond my petty spite metal n amy were skipped im still excited

also i wanna see the zelda movie flop.wherever that is.

...i wanna get a milkshake in january also.

oh oh!!! alien stage next three videos from my calculations :333

#ask #girl who mostly keeps dopamine levels stable by eating:man i cant remember anything but when i ate smth good #tbh im a mix of a little upset i forget when things happened n completely fine w it bc its nice everything feels recent lol

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halflingkima · 14 days

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i was tagged by @mell0bee 💖 and much like them, i did this tag at least a year ago so i kinda wanna see what's changed.

Are you named after anyone? My paternal grandmother, but also the storybook character Madeline. (I have a theme song :D)

When was the last time you cried? Uhh like this past weekend, reading the acknowledgements of All the Hidden Paths by Foz Meadows. I was really just skimming it but uhh I guess I was in a vulnerable place after the story that the acknowledgements cut in there and Got me lol

Do you have kids? no but i have a new baby niece who is the light of my life :)))

Do you use sarcasm a lot? I think I actually use it less than average. Definitely less than I did as a snarky teen. Just feels mean nowadays.

What sports do you play? none at the moment, but historically soccer, volleyball, and dance, and still enjoy casual frolicking of those styles.

What’s the first thing you notice about people? Hair. Since I cut mine, I'm constantly thinking about my own, so I probably notice their hair.

What’s your eye color? bluuue

Scary movies or happy endings? happy endings. this question no doubt feels like apples and oranges, but i've never been a scary movie person, and i do love a cheesy romance novel.

Any special talents? uuuhhhhhhhhhhhh i'm rly good at staying awake. i think. does that count. what even counts as special.

Where were you born? I'm a cali girl......... in a cali world........

What are your hobbies? lately: reading, writing, crocheting, giffing, and D&D. also sewing off and on but the stars have to like align in a triple planet retrograde or something.

Do you have any pets? nope

How tall are you? 5'5

Favorite subject in school? depends on the year you asked me tbh. think i'm gonna cheat and say theatre bc my college degree involved classes in playwriting, history, costume/lighting/set design, stage management, and literature analysis, not to mention actual stage production experience. (I did the same in high school on a smaller scale.) Ironically, I think my theatre degree involved more writing than my creative writing degree.

Dream job? I do not dream of labor. jk jk lol. but i've been actively evaluating how my concept of work and jobs and how it's so very directly attached to who you know or are adjacent to because there's so many niche industries and abilities and how versatile humans are and anyone can do anything if they want to and invest their time/effort/energy. (like who you know + your specific experiences, not in a Networking way, but just. a not knowing what you don't know way.) i want to do anything/everything which is my primary strugglebus re: Future Thoughts. My cousin blames on my rising sign (sagittarius). i also have a deep fear that if i do something i actually like for a living, i'll ruin all enjoyment of that thing. that being said, i'd like to publish a novel. and design concert/band stage lights. i'd want to work somewhere in the fiber/fabric industry if conditions were fair (& not outsourced). my current job (library book van) is actually pretty great, but i'd like to work inside the building eventually. idk man i have less a dream job and more 'honestly, i'll try anything. i'll try harder if there's a benefits plan.'

sorry if i repeat tag anyone and of course feel free to ignore me lol. i'm tagging @politedemon @crushpdf @waitingforarthur @voiceoftheashari @wellthatswhatithought

#oh lmao i forgot to post this #i drafted this before the cr ep lmao. that was indeed the last time i cried #tag game

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cordrazine-official · 9 months

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🔀 Ro Laren/Kasidy Yates, Keiko O'Brien/Garak, Lenara Kahn/Kira Nerys, Jadzia/Worf/Deanna/Riker, Geordi LaForge/Julian Bashir/Ben Sisko, Lwaxana Troi/Senator Cretak, Jil Orra/Ziyal

(send me a 🔀 and a pairing, and i’ll shuffle my playlist and make an AU based on the first song that comes up)

Ro Laren/Kasidy Yates

Okay so I got Like A Prayer by Madonna & my first thought was Dance Movie AU - you know, those 80s dance movies like Footloose or Flashdance or the like. But I’m gonna tweak this concept & go with Dance AU, as in, the story is contained in a dance performance. (I hope this isn’t considered cheating.) I just think it would be really cool to have Ro & Kasidy each stand in a cone of light on an otherwise dark stage, separated by nothing but the darkness between them, during the intro & the first stanza (“Life is a mystery / Everyone must stand alone / I hear you call my name / And it feels like home”); especially on “I hear you call my name”, instead of having them look for each other, it would be an inward search, something they’d hold within themselves. And then, when the music starts, the light changes & so does the mood: they find each other, maybe a little hesitant at first because of what happened before, where they each were, and with each step they find themselves reaching for the other a little more easily. “Let the choir sing” has an obligatory curtain rise to reveal - you guessed it - a choir, but perhaps the choir is dressed in trek civilian clothing instead of uniforms, & perhaps you’ve got Bajorans & Humans & Klingons & other aliens in the choir - & background dancers come in, & it’s one group but for some steps they divide into two groups & assemble behind Ro & Kasidy, & it’s important that there’s always a fluidity between those groups (never the same divide, & even during the divides people move from one to the other). On the second “Life is a mystery / Everyone must stand alone”, everyone IS standing alone but everybody is dancing the same choreography. The choir then joins everybody on stage & merges with the dancers in a giant blending of singing & dancing & alone & together & light & dark (I’m not knowledgeable enough about stage lighting & I’m not fond of stroboscopic lights but I’m sure there’s something to be done here) & then you get a big 80s finale with confetti falling from the ceiling & a literal crowd on stage & Ro & Kasidy in a prominent position finding themselves close to each other but still not quite touching, never quite touching - but that’s not where the connection is made, baby!

Keiko O'Brien/Garak

Smalltown Boy by Orville Peck. Truckers AU. They both spend days on end driving through the country with nothing to do but look at the road, listen to the news & smoke cigarette after cigarette with the windows open. They both like to say that you get used to being your only company but the truth is that they both yearn for someone to distract them from themselves; the only difference being, Keiko wants someone to share this with while Garak isn’t really looking for connection, he just wants a distraction. One night Keiko stops at a lonely truck stop in the middle of nowhere, not because she wants to but because she doesn’t have a choice - it’s too late to keep going & she’s out of food & anyway, she needs to get out of her truck for a while. She sits down at the shitty bar & orders a soda & at first she barely notices the man sitting three stools from her, nursing something that may or may not be a little too strong if he’s planning on driving on tonight.

They’re on the phone often after that, & there’s something about this guy that creeps Keiko out but he’s also kind of pathetic & so she figures that as long as she’s careful there’s no harm in chatting to some old guy while she’s driving - it’s good for her, too. It’s the road that ties them together & they sometimes meet up when they’re in the same area, though they never make any extra effort to. The sex they sometimes have is meh for both but sometimes that’s really just what they need & it’s fine. He (somehow) finds out what her birthday is & gifts her an accessory for her truck, so she gifts him something in return the next time they see each other & tells him that it’s for his birthday, since he must have one too.

After a while they know each other’s coffee order by heart, & what parking space the other likes best, & at what time best to call. They’re not dating, they’re not friends, they’re not fuckbuddies - they’re something else, but they never give it a name. Garak has Keiko’s name saved under “Keiko”. Keiko has Garak’s name saved under “Old Guy From Trucksto”. It’s nice to know there’s someone out there who knows you’re on the road.

Lenara Kahn/Kira Nerys

Sanremo by MIKA - which is complicated by the fact that this is my number one Jadzia/Julian BJ Besties song, so let’s see what I can come up with.

Coastal paddle boat rental owner!Kira/recent divorcee vacationist!Lenara. Kira owns a paddle boat rental shack on a promenade along a big touristy lake & she works ungodly hours during the summer. In comes recent divorcee Lenara, here on a three-week vacation after finally finalising a really bad divorce: she desperately needs to relax & think of something else & she’s renting a small vacation home up in the hills. She has coffee on the promenade every morning & every morning she walks by that little shack that says “rent a paddle boat here 30 minutes 10 euro 1 hour 15 euro” & the neat row of six, sometimes less, paddle boats bobbing up against the wooden dock. One day she spots a lady in cargo shorts & t-shirt walking from boat to boat, checking up on them, & she moves to a cafe closer to the shack. It takes her a week of spying (& she feels bad for doing it but she can’t stop) until she acknowledges to herself that there’s something happening here; a few more days until she decides to rent one of those small boats for a ride. The lady from the rental shed is very nice & soon Lenara is in the middle of the water, waves lapping at her paddle boat, & it’s been a while since she’s felt so light & unburdened. She’s back at the dock five minutes early & she’s happy when it makes the lady smile.

Lenara extends her vacation. Suddenly she’s not interested in the museums & old churches & landmarks anymore: all she wants is that feeling of freedom she tasted on that paddle boat, & she feels silly when she thinks this but who cares? She can do what she wants. She rents a paddle boat every day now, mostly in the afternoon, sometimes in the late morning, once in the morning right when the lady opens the shack (& she wasn’t too happy about that, Lenara could tell & she felt guilty for not thinking of it). She takes her bathing suit & goes for a swim & stays close to the ladder to make sure the boat doesn’t drift off without her; she soaks in the sun afterwards, listening to the seagulls & the laughter the wind sometimes carries out to her.

Her eyes are closed, & so she doesn’t notice that the lady from the boat rental shack looks over to her paddle boat much more often than she does any other.

Jadzia/Worf/Deanna/Riker

Nuit 17 à 52 by Christine & the Queens. Public Transport AU, if that’s a thing - if not, it is now. What I’m seeing is basically the metro in a big city & people together in a packed train, the connections that can be made there, however small. Whoever has had to commute on public transport for an extended period of time remembers some of the people they spoke with, even if it was a short interaction, even if there were no words at all. Jadzia, Worf, Deanna & Riker are all regulars on the same metro line - perhaps one of them is even a train driver, & the other three get on the train at different stops but they all leave the train at the last stop, & they all take the same train in the evening to get home from work. & so it’s already been years that every night, all four of them have unknowingly been in the same place at the same time: that train platform. Maybe Jadzia & Deanna strike up a conversation at some point, or maybe Jadzia slips her number to Worf one day, or maybe Deanna proposes to Riker over the announcement system - somehow connections form between them, & from that train platform rises something that can exist outside of the underground.

Geordi LaForge/Julian Bashir/Ben Sisko

Saddle Up by David Christie, which… I can explain. But not now. Now, we are talking about Tap Dance Class AU. Geordi LaForge, who’s been certified to teach by the American Tap Dance Foundation, teaches a class in the neighbourhood. Ben Sisko, whose son has recently left for college, is looking for a new hobby & figures that giving tap dancing a go won’t hurt (plus he’s always wanted a pair of tap dancing shoes & this is the perfect excuse to invest); Julian Bashir, who has a background in ballet & wants to diversify, signs up as soon as he’s made sure that his work schedule will permit him to attend regularly. He & Ben strike up a conversation before the first lesson, as they’re trying to fit into their new tap shoes - & then they walk into the studio only to be greeted by their handsome new tap dance teacher. Both of them congratulate themselves for choosing this class & proceed to attend every class, despite muscle pains & last-minute work schedule changes; Geordi takes an interest in those two very motivated students. It’s all very chill, there’s no county competitions or anything. Maybe there’s a piano in the studio & Ben starts playing for Geordi & Julian after the class is over…

Lwaxana Troi/Senator Cretak

Losing My Mind by Liza Minnelli - Former Hollywood Star AU. Cretak had a small moment of fame when she was younger but it disappeared as quickly as it came & now she’s living a mostly normal life. Her true love is her motorcycle, which she rides out every weekend sort of aimlessly in the hills on the outskirts of the city. She’s got a job she’s not immensely fond of but it could be worse, & it pays the bills. One night - it’s a Saturday & she’s been driving longer than usual - she ends up in a lesbian bar; it’s early, she’s the only patron & she’s not sure if they’re even really open yet, & she’s kind of pathetically nursing a whiskey coke when suddenly the lights change & music starts, & someone gets up on the stage & starts singing, & Cretak realises that they’re doing soundchecks for the show later tonight. Why the hell did they let her order when it’s still this early? She tries to tune out the singing but halfway into the second stanza she recognises the voice from another life, far in her past: it’s the voice of one Lwaxana Troi, who got her big shot at fame around the time Cretak did & who didn’t make it, either. They’d had a thing, back then, a thing Cretak had tried to forget because she’d been left raw & exposed after it had ended, & why is the room so small & the music so loud? But she can’t leave, she can’t do anything but listen to Lwaxana rehearsing her show & try not to be seen - but if there’s one thing Lwaxana won’t let you do, it’s slip away unnoticed.

Jil Orra/Ziyal

Starry Eyes by Cigarettes After Sex. Neighbours AU - as in, they live next door to each other in crappy flats (as in, mould, mice, insects, etc.). They’re both trying very hard to move out: they’re both taking evening classes & working two jobs to save up for something better. They meet on the corridor & from then on they help each other out (“hi, sorry, do you have some eggs I could borrow”; “hey, could I use your phone charger, mine just broke”) & band together to fend off the mice & insects & landlord. They start cooking for each other, taking meals together (on the roof maybe, & it’s a roof like they have on Gossip Girl) & spending time together in general. Neither of them is very close to their family and they bond over that among other things (after all they do live under the same room, sort of) & one day, after one landlord issue too many, they decide that maybe, if they shared the rent, they might be able to afford a better flat together…

#ro laren #kasidy yates #keiko o'brien #elim garak #lenara kahn #kira nerys #jadzia dax #worf #deanna troi #will riker #geordi la forge #julian bashir my beloved #ben sisko #lwaxana troi #kimara cretak #jil orra #tora ziyal #thanks for asking!

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arcxnumvitae · 11 months

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Who/What inspired my muses

Part 3 what do unbroken fingers feel like

Minglian: Okay, so this was around the time all the stuff with Qingshan went down. As I had established with Zhaohui earlier, I was going to need a replacement Red Eye. Minglian actually became a concept around early 2020 and didn’t actually come into play until maybe October or so of that year? Later on, at least. She went without a name for a while too while in the simmering stages. At the time, Huaxiu was a kind of different person in his capability for sweetness and caring, so with the thought that now he’d be the one to be the teacher and the guide for this new being, I just kinda thought of all the ways in which that would affect him. From the get-go, Minglian and Huaxiu were meant to have a special bond, and it was through his care Minglian that a lot of the jagged edges left from some of Huaxiu’s past trauma began to smooth over.

Zhaohui: Here we go. Like I had said earlier, Zhaohiu was actually created years before, around when Huaxiu was. It started when I reblogged one of those “send in a fc and I’ll make a muse from it” memes. Angie sent in the fc and I didn’t know anything about the series he was from other than knowing it was some books that Kirei cried sitting in her car once while reading? I actually have the original notes where I was jotting down ideas for him! (I actually have them for a few muses now that I’m looking). Basically, my thought was still of someone who had a job, screwed the pooch (seriously, what is up with that saying?), and was punished for it. A curse of some form was also involved. Mainly, I made Zhaohui to be a double-agent in what was going on with Qingshan, someone who sided with her but planned to throw her to the wolves for his own machinations. He wasn’t fully a Red Eye at the time of plotting but he ended up one as time went on. After Qingshan’s stuff happened and his curse was removed, I was already adding Minglian and decided, eh why not, and added him too.

Ruaidhri: I realized I hadn’t added a single fae past Aur? Not a single muse from where he was from? I decided to rectify that. This is also where you can see my little brain starting to do some schemes with the overarching plot regarding the fae.

Zhifeng: As Kirei said in her post, she said something to the effect of “wanna do two con muses based on The R.oad to E.l Do.rado?” And who am I to refuse? Zhifeng really started to take form after we watched the movie, and really started to solidify as I was listening to Annapantsu’s version of It’s Tough to Be a God. Especially the line and especially the tone in which she sang, “And who am I to bridle if I’m forced to be an idol? If they say that I’m a god then that’s what I am!” I remember playing that part over and over again just luxuriating in the inspiration juices that flowed from it.

Eilidh: Baby I’m making the fae brown too. Plus, H.ades and P.ersephone from H.adestown. Specifically their “Chant” songs. And, while they’re not the same types, of quirky, I think some of her quirkiness came from Amber Gray’s amazing portrayal of P.ersephone. Go listen to H.adestown. Oh! Also F.earne from C.ritical R.ole.

Aodh: The other half of the duo of H.ades and P.ersephone from H.adestown. Particularly the way H.ades is, like, super in love with his wife. I was thinking the pining from the Epics, Epic III specifically, and super the bitter tone from Hades’ parts in Chant II and Chant Reprise linked above. Unfortunately, Aodh didn’t end up nearly as cool and “weighty” as H.adestown’s Hades.

Tomoe: I had been going really hot and heavy with the supernatural muses so I thought I’d buff up the normal human section to give more of a selection to any mutuals who wanted more grounded stories. And, sigh, yes, Steph, my ongoing love of R.iza H.awkeye and my love for her dynamic with R.oy hahaha.

Kasemchai: Babes, I wish I could tell you. I saw the fc and wanted to use it, from there I thought a naga would be interesting, a constant theme you’ll notice.

Tara: I wanted to explore things from Aur’s sister’s pov, since all that had been presented was his knowledge and thoughts on her plans to assassinate him. Inspirations? Mary Derrington from C.ritical R.ole (Taryon’s younger sister). And A.zula from A.vatar. So, a lot of better suited/kinda cutthroat younger sister vibes clearly.

Zaisan: Another one from Angie’s deity pantheon. Specifically me tying him into Matthias’ backstory as the one who took his eye.

Saori: @strawberryxdreams wanted to do sibling muses! So we worked out the background and home stuff together.

Etienne: I have a pretty and otherworldly fc but what if he was literally just a Dude?

Amelie: Arata’s daughter! If we sort of time jump to the future where she’s older! I thought her story was an interesting one and seeing how it played out in the future would be interesting too but she was like an npc and also 7, pft. The more interesting things happens when she’s older though since I have already actually worked out future stuff for her, so I said there was no other way to get to the good part other than jumping there.

Iomhar: What if I made a fae gentry and also made him a himbo? I thought it’d be a funny foil to how duplicitous the fae are usually portrayed as.

Taichiro: It was posed to me, “you’re going to become a lawyer, how come you don’t have a muse that does law?” Which was a thought. That I then completely undermined by placing him in an entirely different country with its own legal system so that my three years of hard-earned knowledge meant absolutely nothing anyways. Whoops? I also wanted to add more players to Tomoe’s stuff and the Kurosawa group that she works for.

Kaisei: Horns. No, no he has to be human because of the lore, no horn. But....horns? 👀 Gentle giant. Sorta came to be influenced by a joke of a guest character in C.ritical R.ole, Calianna, someone who’s 1/10 dragon-- “Okay, which ancestor climbed something they weren’t supposed to?”

Anja: More Bastion and also what if I made a snarky little shit for funsies. The last name was just a fun little nod to G.enshin’s K.aeya.

Ed: “I want another god-touched.” Also, what if I had a muse that was just, “’women’.” That’s it, that’s the inspiration. Athena’s always been my favorite of the bunch since my middle school beginning PJO days so it was high time I did something with her.

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lgcjiho · 7 months

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━━ lee jiho : future dreams, season 7 alumni original song song: chaser

artist contribution points: composition — 121 / lyrics — 155 / arrangement — 121 / choreography — 50

song concept ( 419 )

from the moment that he had been given the go ahead to brainstorm whatever concept he wanted, he knew he was going to stray far from agito's concept. it wasn't that he didn't like it—because he enjoyed being able to smile and interact with his members and the fans during shoots and performances, not having to hide his expression—but he knew that that was a side of him that he would always be able to show. he didn't get to show the non-refreshing side of his stage presence very often, unless it was in his own covers or choreography videos that he released on the v&a channel. he's done a few different concepts, with his studio choom cover being probably his favourite. but he's never tried a rock song before, and the idea of adding in different elements of rock music, with the electric guitars and an overall darker vibe was something he wanted to try this time around since it wasn't really his goal for his actual solo debut song if he won.

he had a whole list of ideas he had for the song's concept, and he had put them all into a powerpoint when he was preparing to make the song. there were tons of ideas and he had tried to narrow them down, even bringing a few different melodies to the table before he had decided on this one. it's more grungy and rock, but the lyrics and the vibe of the song are still a bit sad.

composition ( 121 ) / arrangement ( 121 )

as a relative beginner to composing and arranging, he wanted to try his hand at it. with the experts there along with him, he was able to explain the melody of the chorus and some of the guitar riffs that he wanted, since he had already written down a few notes and melodies that he had come up with. he hadn't really worked with anything like the production equipment before, but he knows that it's something that he wants to do professionally in the future.

there's a few riffs that he wants that make it into the song, and he does his best to fix everything in a way that makes sense but he does leave a lot of the work to the official producers of the song, mostly just telling them his ideas and following along closely with everything that is going into it.

lyrics writing ( 155 )

this is probably his area of expertise at this point, since he was the first in the newest generation of legacy artists to start working on writing songs. he's not quite sure what had gotten him started—well, he does know but he tries not to think about it—but he's glad he had branched out to write music. it's something that his job will always consist of, and it's nice that he had some contribution to both agito songs as well as some other artist songs.

there's quite a few lines in 'chaser' that he directly contributed to, and jiho is pretty proud of them. he's never really experienced a relationship in which he can't let go of someone who's bad for him, a liar like he wrote in the lyrics, but he's watched enough movies and read enough books that it's easy to imagine himself in a situation as such. the bridge is one of his favourites and is mostly his work, only with a bit of editing to make it fit the melody better.

since he's been working with writing his own lyrics in multiple different genres of songs, he had already had some stuff written down before, just bits and pieces of different thoughts and ideas and he works with the team to get it to really be what the end result is.

choreography ( 50 )

considering how he wants to perform the song, he doesn't really think there's any necessary actual choreography needed. he knows that he's the main dancer of agito, but he's also the lead vocalist and he wants to showcase that since he's been focusing on dance when it comes to a lot of his solo covers that he uploads on youtube.

what he does plan out is how he's going to use the stage, at what times he's going to be walking around and at which points he'll be standing in one spot. he wants to really showcase that he has a lot of stage presence and that he doesn't need to be dancing to prove that. he hopes that he'll be able to keep the performance a dynamic one by making use of the room that he had, along with a mic stand and hand mic. he relies on the crew for the rest of it though, and listens to everything that they suggest and takes their advice seriously.

styling ( 100 ) — pinterest

when it comes to styling, he wouldn't say that he's the most confident in his own style. while he enjoys shopping and choosing clothes for himself, he's not entirely sure that he would consider himself fashionable or anywhere close to being a fashionista. all of the times that he's been a model for anything, he's never been the one to style the outfit. he can do his own makeup though, and that's mostly where he had given some input.

after searching online for something that fit with the concept and the theme of the song, he had come across the phrase 'grunge' when it came to fashion and he had thought that that suited the vibe that he was going for. he had told the stylists that, and had given his opinion as they showed him their own ideas that they had gotten from his vision and thankfully they had helped him put together an outfit and a makeup look that really fit what he wanted and something he hadn't really done before.

also, considering his hair is getting pretty long, he thinks that it really kind of suits the vibe that he's going for and asks the stylists not to do too much to it. he kind of wants to just let it grow out, but he also lets them do whatever to it as long as they keep the length.

stage production ( 356 ) — pinterest

stage production is something that he had been excited to be able to dabble in. as an artist (both an idol and a literal artist, since he had picked up painting after sketching since childhood), he had really wanted to be able to participate in picking out the background of the stage. since he was allowed to help and give his ideas for this, he knew exactly the idea he wanted for it.

his first idea had been a city that never sleeps at night, with tokyo and new york coming to mind, with the billboards and plenty of neon lights. he had also been inspired by some scene from the newest spiderverse movie, with the neon lights in the dark. it had given him the right vibe that he wanted for the stage. his other idea had been graffiti, since it sort of felt like it went with the whole grungey, rockstar vibe that he wanted when it came to the song.

he even drew some of the graffiti himself, despite not having that much experience in that medium but he had had fun drawing things on the ipad since it was going to be displayed behind him. with the mixture of the two, he came up with a fun idea of making it look like he was walking through the city at night, with the lights being street lamps and also having some brick walls with graffiti scribbled on them.

#lgc:futuredreams #( solo. )

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aokuro-san · 7 months

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Sci-fi movies I saw yesterday.

ALIEN. OUTER SPACE.

Concepts that I love united in a single post thanks to these three films that I had the pleasure of seeing yesterday.

Well, the pleasure. Some more than others, I'll warn you. Because, for example, there is NO ONE WILL SAVE YOU. Put by the clouds even by the prompter, it is the biggest piece of crap I have seen in quite some time. A film that offers the same thing as always, with an irritating protagonist to the extreme and a story, in general, to which I do not plan to dedicate much more time because… There is nothing more to extract from it, except boredom.

A 1/5, and I'm taking a chance!

Although, luckily, in the world we also have things like NOPE, which unlike the first, was harshly criticized and I still don't understand why (just like the character of Kaluuya, who was my favorite (even though they are all very well introduced)! Do you dislike serious and intelligent people who know what they are talking about? Interesting xD). When we talk about NOPE, we are talking about a fantastic adventure film, with a pure horror sequence in between, with a simple rhythm and script, but more than effective, since its messages and ideas are clear from the very beginning and It is capable of keeping you hooked. But we also talked about his original "antagonist" and the brilliant UFO theory he offers in this regard. Brilliant idea and staging that I can't go below 4/5. Well, EVERYTHING (even the humor) FITS PERFECTLY.

Just like in ANIARA. Without a doubt, THE BEST ON THIS LIST. A forgotten beauty that must be remembered more, since we are facing the most realistic and fascinating space adventure that I HAVE EVER SEEN. Based, also, on an epic poem from the last century that I reading to do immediately, because with just its first pages, it has conquered me as much as its film adaptation!

A ship on its way to Mars that leaves its orbit and is left to its fate in the immensity of space, and the psychological and existential impact that this has on its crew. A long journey that stays with you FOREVER. Just like its ending.

A thoughtful legend that you have to SEE NOW.

#sci fi books #sci fi fantasy #sci fi horror #sci fi and fantasy #science fiction #sci fi #movie review #movies #nope 2022 #nope movie #no one will save you #aniara #harry martinson #aniara 2018 #my opinion #my reviews #commentary

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the1975attheirverybest · 11 months

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I see atpoaim as a mini-era. It’s comprised of both the video series and the latest shows, and the point of it is to explore ideas of sincerity, intimacy, and ask the question “can intimacy be public/big” so for example… is something still intimate and sincere if it’s done on a stage? What about in front of a camera? What about published to YouTube? Does intimacy need to be spontaneous or can it be scripted?

I think that’s the theme of the atpoaim era, and it’s just an unpolished collection of thoughts and concepts Matty likes, so he’s exploring them in both his video series and his live shows. But then again, that’s just how I’m interpreting it right now. New info could cause that to change.

And I think if Matty labeled HIMSELF “movie character” on Instagram, then we’re his audience. We aren’t characters with him, we’re watching him. He’s the main character in whatever… thing he’s got planned (🙄 as always. Jk love u Matty.)

Yeah I think I like that. Except, like, characters in movies don’t usually address their audience/ aren’t aware that they are characters in movies. Except in postmodernity I guess. But even then. Postmodern art is aware of itself as art, but the characters themselves not necessarily. So what’s this say about him that he knows he’s a character/ it’s all about performance. Which is like the exact opposite of what intimacy is hahahaha. I HATE HIM (I want him and I love his mind)

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punchdrunkdoc · 2 years

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What kind of research did you do before writing Dont Breathe? You use a lot of medical terms and just setting up the whole mystery and story- what kind of planning did you have to do? I am interested in starting writing more fics but I want them to be well fleshed out like yours ahh ! What do you reccomend in terms of approaching a new story?

Hi Anon

Thanks for getting in touch.

For the medical research, that was easy - I'm a doctor (even though some of the medical stuff was fudged for artistic license!)

In terms of the mystery/story, I started writing with an outline but it was more character-based than plot-based. I had certain beats that I wanted to hit with the character development and the interactions between Beth and Bruce, and the plot was created around those. Their characters arcs was the biggest priority for me - the plot was secondary*

For example, early in the story, I needed an excuse for Bruce and Beth to interact - I needed to deepen their connection. Allow them to learn a bit more about each other. So I came up with the idea of Bruce getting injured so that he would need to go to her for help. But how would he get injured? Saving someone. Saving who? A young boy. Why is the boy in danger? A gang initiation...

Thinking back on it, so much of the plot was born of problem solving like that. How do I get the characters here, in order for them to do this/say this? And when I cracked a problem like that, it was always so exciting/inspiring!

But I didn’t just want it to be any old plot - it still all had to serve the characters. When I decided Bruce would get injured saving someone, it was a conscious choice over him being injured while fighting. I wanted to show the heroic side of Batman. And I chose a young boy on purpose, to plant the seeds of his future relationship with Robin (I never intended to introduce a Robin, I just wanted Bruce to get to the stage of considering a Robin).

I don't know if this is a conventional approach, it just works for me (and I hope I’m not spoiling the enjoyment of the story by revealing this!). And it all relied on writing several chapters ahead of what I was posting, so that I could go back and tweak things to make the story work and eliminate any plotholes.

*I learned that after writing my last story (a post Spiderman: No Way Home fic called Given To Fly.) I'm still really proud of that story, but I didn't have a good plan for the character arcs from the beginning and really struggled with it at the end. That was my first 'original story'. In fact, if you look back, there's a clear progression to my writing ambition - I didn't jump straight into a 90 000 word novel! I started with a couple of short 'internal thoughts' fics. Then I wrote something with dialogue. Then a character piece, that was more a series of vignettes than a plotted story. Then I wrote a plotted story, but it was based on an existing movie plot. Then I wrote something that was all my own idea (the spiderman fic), then I improved the concept with Just Breathe!

Thanks for these questions. It was fun to examine my own style - something I've never thought of before. I still don't really consider myself a writer - this is just something I mess around with for fun - but feel free to ask me more!

#fanfic #Batman fic #The Batman 2022 fic #Battinson fic #Just Breathe #Given to Fly

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whotaughtyougrammar · 2 years

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For the writer asks! 1, 3, 18, 20

I’m sending good vibes for 1, that it flows smoothly soon based on the writer memes.

Thank you for the good vibes 🙏🏼🙏🏼 And thank you so much for the ask!

1) Tell us about your current project(s) – what’s it about, how’s progress, what do you love most about it?

OH BOY WHERE TO START LMAO

I’m working on a few things right now, which is funny because I used to be a one project at a time sort of person, back when I didn’t write as often but putting pen to paper was paradoxically easier.

The “first” (technically second, you’ll see what I mean) big thing is:

A “multiverse” story. This sounds like something that I came up with after watching Everything Everywhere All At Once, but I’ve been working in this since before the movie came out 🤣 Of course, Daniels had thought of the concept for this movie long before this was even a blip in my mind, but I digress.

I think I mentioned this before, but I kind of like the idea that out of all the families, the Close/Streeps/Freemans are just… utterly mundane and non-magical (not really the case anymore eyeroll ¯\_(ツ)_/¯), but I still wrote a ficlet where Morgan basically implies she knows the gender of her child through a dream. I took that and spun it off into, “Morgan visits her alternate selves through her dreams and is comforted and finds closure in the choices she’s made in her life,” (or something like that, I don’t usually like to deal too seriously in themes and prefer writing vignettes or scenes) I mostly just wanted to write down some of the AU ideas I’ve come up with without committing to several fics at a time because as much as I love my AUs, and as much as I like writing fics, there’s only so much time and energy I can put into them without ignoring basic necessities 😅

I have a basic “prologue” done but not much else. What I want to do next is figure out which AU I want “featured.” As big as this idea sounds, I really do want this to on the shorter side (if it exceeds Heart’s wordcount and is not considered done by then I may cry lol) and I’m not including the completely outlandish universes like the bodyguard AU or the figure skating AU. I definitely want to include Morgan Foster-Freeman, and mercenary Morgan from my Monsters and Mommies AU, but other than those two I’m still in the planning stages.

The “second” big thing I’m working on is:

A Glenn and Morgan love/origin story that I’ve been working on on-and-off since fucking 2020 (!!) I have a few scenes fully written out and even an old outline of what I wanted to happen (it’s so old I was still calling Morgan “Michel” or “Mysterious Significant Other”).

I have a lot of problems with this one lmao.

One is it takes place over a pretty long period of time—I specified they’ve been dating around 5, almost six years in “Everyday Words Seem to Turn into Love Songs”, and they didn’t immediately like each other when they first met (I’ve always been pretty firm with this bit of headcanon), so the timeline for this one, tentatively titled “You’ve Got a Pulse and You Are Breathing” would have to span at least 7 years, and maybe even longer.

Another problem I had was formatting. I was having trouble deciding if I wanted this to be one long document/short story (my preferred format) or if it should be split up into chapters. As I went on, I was even starting to doubt whether I even wanted to do such a comprehensive “origin” story that went from point A to point Married to point Canon, and considered doing it in semi-related short ficlets like “In A Sentimental Mood,” or as a 5+1 format, specifically something like “5 times Glenn had a shitty date, and 1 time Glenn still had a shitty date but it led to something infinitely better” (a lot of “Pulse” involves Glenn’s dating troubles, not only from being a pan/bi Asian man in the 90s and 00s having to deal with biphobia and racism, but also being aspec and not being able to put into words why certain parts of dating don’t appeal to him without sounding like he’s stuck-up or a “freak” or like there’s something wrong with him.)

But I think the biggest problem I am having right now is simply the fact that I think I psyched myself out 🤣 I wrote “Everyday Words” in… a day? Maybe two days? It was simple and cute and so easy to do, one of the few times I just wrote first and edited later, that I figured I could write up a “But how did they meet,” story in maybe a week, and now it’s two years later, the campaign is over and it’s on to the next one for a majority of people, so many scenes written that may not even make it into the final product and the only thing I’m sure on is the title, and even that might be changed for the final product 🤣

I still have so much love for this fic, it feels like my baby basically lmao, that I feel nothing less than perfection will do it justice. It would be very funny but also poetic if the first meeting of Glenn and Morgan ends up being my last fic written for the fandom, but I don’t see that happening—I still have plenty of ideas left to write!

Smaller things I am also working on (that I have actually started and are not just ideas I want to write eventually) are: A Carol and Morgan bonding thing that will hopefully segue into some sort of Carol/Mercedes thing, and a social media fic of fans speculating on Glenn’s love life (Single? Straight? Dating? Bi?? Secretly married??? Something else?????), Morgan’s general cryptidness (Dancer? Actor? Pianist? All of the above? None of the above? No really, how does one woman hold so many jobs at one single time?), and generally being weird and parasocial. So you know, just your average day on social media.

3) What is that one scene that you’ve always wanted to write but can’t be arsed to write all of the set-up and context it would need? (consider this permission to write it and/or share it anyway)

There is a scene that I’ve never written but has always stuck out in my head in my abandoned Glenn in mourning fic, where after the funeral, Glenn is accosted not only by Bill, (obviously thinking that now that the ol’ ball and chain is in the ground Glenn is suddenly OK with having his father around again), but also by Morgan’s side of the family, either by her sibling (who I think was her sister and not her brother at the time I was thinking of writing this) or her actual parents, who are basically threatening to take Nick away from him.

Bill is handled fairly quickly and easily, but a legal matter is something else entirely, and in a panic, Glenn goes to see his mother and basically starts verbally whaling on her once the shock of what happened wears off and lets her have it, demanding/screaming that she help him because, according to Glenn, she owes him for never being an adequate mother and treating him like an inconvenience until it was too late, but eventually his rage subsides and his grief takes over and he begs her, much more plaintively, to help make the problem go away, swearing that he’ll forgive her for all her past transgressions and never bring them up again if she helps him with the custody problem. She agrees, and he never hears from Morgan’s side of the family again. (which sounds ominous written like that, but everything was dealt with legally I swear lmao)

18) Do any of your stories have alternative versions? (plotlines that you abandoned, AUs of your own work, different characterisations?) Tell us about them.

I recently reread “Everyday Words” and though I consider is part of Musicverse canon, a part of me feels like it’s a completely different ‘verse, simply from the amount of (implied) boning that happens 😂 I came up with the idea of Ace Glenn very early in the series run (my series and canon series) but it wasn’t in my head when I wrote this evidently (it was probably while I was writing “Pulse” did the idea firmly plant itself in my head, which was basically immediately after I finished this). Chalk it up to being away from each other for extended periods of time, Glenn being (generally) sex-favorable and sex being an easy way of establishing intimacy.

A lot of the story beats in “Heart” were originally going to be part of other things (Glenn mentioning that his mother taught him guitar was originally going to be part of “Pulse”) or were going to be smaller ficlets. The bit where Morgan gets sick in Heart was originally going to be its own short ficlet, and so was the scene of Glenn talking about his failed “date”/realizing something was “up” with him irt sexual attraction (it was originally a morning after scene), so I’d consider all those plotlines I’ve abandoned, or more accurately, merged into one.

My friend also made a throwaway joke about an AU where the meet-cute is both of them dumping bodies into the Gowanus and their eyes meet, which isn’t an AU of my adult store AU per se but it is a joke I can see Morgan making as she’s trying to puzzle out how much she wants to say about her occupation .(“So how are you going to introduce me to your friend’s kids?” “I don’t know, I’ll just tell ‘em we met when we were dumping bodies into the Canal. They’ll get a kick out of that.”)

20) Tell us the meta about your writing that you really want to ramble to people about (symbolism you’ve included, character or relationship development that you love, hidden references, callbacks or clues for future scenes?)

I have a few, but the one that sticks out for me is probably the headbutt. The scene of Glenn headbutting Bill in “You Send it All Back to Me” is a call-back (call-forward?) to a scene in “Pulse,” where Glenn attempts to punch somebody and gets punched back for his troubles. Morgan fixes him up while criticizing his technique and advises him to go for a headbutt next time instead for a variety of sensible reasons. Glenn is skeptical and is in the process of “Well, Actually”-ing her when she surprises him with a headbutt to demonstrate—not hard, just a sudden forehead touch that stops him in his tracks and forces him to reconsider his talking points and also realize that Morgan’s eyes are not black like he originally thought but brown, and that this close he can see how they sparkle when she’s amused and how deep and dark and mesmerizing and beautiful they actually are and—oh no.

#thank you again! i love seeing your asks lol #dndads #dungeons and daddies #dndads odyssey #dungeons and daddies odyssey #musicverse

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vilevegestation · 2 years

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callout post for maxxx @thatcupofdirt

Godzilla (Japanese: ゴジラ, Hepburn: Gojira, /ɡɒdˈzɪlə/; [ɡoꜜdʑiɾa] is a fictional monster, or kaiju, originating from a series of Japanese films. The character first appeared in the 1954 film Godzilla and became a worldwide pop culture icon, appearing in various media, including 32 films produced by Toho, four American films and numerous video games, novels, comic books and television shows. Godzilla has been dubbed the "King of the Monsters", a phrase first used in Godzilla, King of the Monsters! (1956), the Americanized version of the original film.

Godzilla is an enormous, destructive, prehistoric sea monster awakened and empowered by nuclear radiation. With the nuclear bombings of Hiroshima and Nagasaki and the Lucky Dragon 5 incident still fresh in the Japanese consciousness, Godzilla was conceived as a metaphor for nuclear weapons. Others have suggested that Godzilla is a metaphor for the United States, a giant beast woken from its slumber which then takes terrible vengeance on Japan. As the film series expanded, some stories took on less serious undertones, portraying Godzilla as an antihero, or a lesser threat who defends humanity. Later films address themes including Japan's forgetfulness over its imperial past, natural disasters, and the human condition.

Godzilla has featured alongside many supporting characters. It has faced human opponents such as the JSDF, or other monsters, including King Ghidorah, Mechagodzilla and Gigan. Godzilla sometimes has allies, such as Rodan, Mothra and Anguirus, and offspring, such as Minilla and Godzilla Junior. Godzilla has also fought characters from other franchises in crossover media, such as the RKO Pictures/Universal Studios movie monster King Kong, as well as various Marvel Comics characters, including S.H.I.E.L.D., the Fantastic Four[36] and the Avengers.

Gojira (ゴジラ) is a portmanteau of the Japanese words gorira (ゴリラ, "gorilla") and kujira (鯨クジラ, "whale"), owing to the fact that in one planning stage, Godzilla was described as "a cross between a gorilla and a whale", due to its size, power and aquatic origin. According to an episode of the Japanese television documentary series Project X entitled "The Birth of Godzilla", special effects director Eiji Tsuburaya met Toho contract actor Shiro Amikura in the Toho Studios cafeteria and nicknamed him "Gojira," combining the Japanese words for gorilla (since he thought Amikura looked like a Gorilla) and whale (since Amikura told Tsuburaya that whale meat was his favorite food). In a 1998 BBC documentary on Godzilla, Kimi Honda, the widow of the 1954 film's director Ishirō Honda, dismissed the employee-name story as a tall tale, believing that Honda, Tanaka, and Tsuburaya gave "considerable thought" to the name of the monster, stating, "the backstage boys at Toho loved to joke around with tall stories, but I don't believe that one".

Godzilla's name was written in ateji as Gojira (呉爾羅), where the kanji are used for phonetic value and not meaning. The Japanese pronunciation of the name is [ɡoꜜdʑiɾa] (listen); the Anglicized form is /ɡɒdˈzɪlə/, with the first syllable pronounced like the word "god" and the rest rhyming with "gorilla".

During the development of the American version of Godzilla Raids Again (1955), Godzilla's name was changed to "Gigantis" by producer Paul Schreibman, who wanted to create a character distinct from Godzilla.

Within the context of the Japanese films, Godzilla's exact origins vary, but it is generally depicted as an enormous, violent, prehistoric sea monster awakened and empowered by nuclear radiation. Although the specific details of Godzilla's appearance have varied slightly over the years, the overall impression has remained consistent. Inspired by the fictional Rhedosaurus created by animator Ray Harryhausen for the film The Beast from 20,000 Fathoms, Godzilla's character design was conceived as that of an amphibious reptilian monster based around the loose concept of a dinosaur with an erect standing posture, scaly skin, an anthropomorphic torso with muscular arms, lobed bony plates along its back and tail, and a furrowed brow.

Art director Akira Watanabe combined attributes of a Tyrannosaurus, an Iguanodon, a Stegosaurus and an alligator to form a sort of blended chimera, inspired by illustrations from an issue of Life magazine. To emphasise the monster's relationship with the atomic bomb, its skin texture was inspired by the keloid scars seen on the survivors of Hiroshima. The basic design has a reptilian visage, a robust build, an upright posture, a long tail and three rows of serrated plates along the back. In the original film, the plates were added for purely aesthetic purposes, in order to further differentiate Godzilla from any other living or extinct creature. Godzilla is sometimes depicted as green in comics, cartoons and movie posters, but the costumes used in the movies were usually painted charcoal grey with bone-white dorsal plates up until the film Godzilla 2000: Millennium.

In the original Japanese films, Godzilla and all the other monsters are referred to with gender-neutral pronouns equivalent to "it", while in the English dubbed versions, Godzilla is explicitly described as a male. In his book, Godzilla co-creator Tomoyuki Tanaka suggested that the monster was probably male. In the 1998 film Godzilla, the monster is referred to as a male and is depicted laying eggs through parthenogenesis. In the Legendary Godzilla films, Godzilla is referred to as a male.

Godzilla's allegiance and motivations have changed from film to film to suit the needs of the story. Although Godzilla does not like humans, it will fight alongside humanity against common threats. However, it makes no special effort to protect human life or property and will turn against its human allies on a whim. It is not motivated to attack by predatory instinct: it does not eat people and instead sustains itself on nuclear radiation and an omnivorous diet. When inquired if Godzilla was "good or bad", producer Shōgo Tomiyama likened it to a Shinto "God of Destruction" which lacks moral agency and cannot be held to human standards of good and evil. "He totally destroys everything and then there is a rebirth. Something new and fresh can begin."

Godzilla's signature weapon is its "atomic heat beam" (also known as "atomic breath"), nuclear energy that it generates inside of its body, uses electromagnetic force to concentrate it into a laser-like high velocity projectile and unleashes it from its jaws in the form of a blue or red radioactive beam. Toho's special effects department has used various techniques to render the beam, from physical gas-powered flames to hand-drawn or computer-generated fire. Godzilla is shown to possess immense physical strength and muscularity. Haruo Nakajima, the actor who played Godzilla in the original films, was a black belt in judo and used his expertise to choreograph the battle sequences.

Godzilla is amphibious: it has a preference for traversing Earth's hydrosphere when in hibernation or migration, can breathe underwater and is described in the original film by the character Dr. Yamane as a transitional form between a marine and a terrestrial reptile. Godzilla is shown to have great vitality: it is immune to conventional weaponry thanks to its rugged hide and ability to regenerate, and as a result of surviving a nuclear explosion, it cannot be destroyed by anything less powerful. One incarnation possesses an electromagnetic pulse-producing organ in its body which generates an asymmetrical permeable shield, making it impervious to all damage except for a short period when the organ recycles.

Various films, non-canonical television shows, comics and games have depicted Godzilla with additional powers, such as an atomic pulse, magnetism, precognition, fireballs, convert electromagnetic energy into intensive body heat, converting shed blood into temporary tentacle limbs, an electric bite, superhuman speed, laser beams emitted from its eyes and even flight.

Godzilla has a distinctive disyllabic roar (transcribed in several comics as Skreeeonk!), which was created by composer Akira Ifukube, who produced the sound by rubbing a pine tar-resin-coated glove along the string of a contrabass and then slowing down the playback. In the American version of Godzilla Raids Again (1955) titled Gigantis the Fire Monster (1959), Godzilla's roar was mostly substituted with that of the monster Anguirus. From The Return of Godzilla (1984) to Godzilla vs. King Ghidorah (1991), Godzilla was given a deeper and more threatening-sounding roar than in previous films, though this change was reverted from Godzilla vs. Mothra (1992) onward. For the 2014 American film, sound editors Ethan Van der Ryn and Erik Aadahl refused to disclose the source of the sounds used for their Godzilla's roar. Aadahl described the two syllables of the roar as representing two different emotional reactions, with the first expressing fury and the second conveying the character's soul.

Godzilla's size is inconsistent, changing from film to film and even from scene to scene for the sake of artistic license. The miniature sets and costumes were typically built at a 1⁄25–1⁄50 scale and filmed at 240 frames per second to create the illusion of great size. In the original 1954 film, Godzilla was scaled to be 50 m (164 ft) tall. This was done so Godzilla could just peer over the largest buildings in Tokyo at the time. In the 1956 American version, Godzilla is estimated to be 122 m (400 ft) tall, because producer Joseph E. Levine felt that 50 m did not sound "powerful enough".

As the series progressed, Toho would rescale the character, eventually making Godzilla as tall as 100 m (328 ft). This was done so that it would not be dwarfed by the newer, bigger buildings in Tokyo's skyline, such as the 243-meter-tall (797 ft) Tokyo Metropolitan Government Building which Godzilla destroyed in the film Godzilla vs. King Ghidorah (1991). Supplementary information, such as character profiles, would also depict Godzilla as weighing between 20,000 and 60,000 metric tons (22,050 and 66,140 short tons).

In the American film Godzilla (2014) from Legendary Pictures, Godzilla was scaled to be 108.2 m (355 ft) and weighing 90,000 short tons (81,650 metric tons), making it the largest film version at that time. Director Gareth Edwards wanted Godzilla "to be so big as to be seen from anywhere in the city, but not too big that he couldn't be obscured". For Shin Godzilla (2016), Godzilla was made even taller than the Legendary version, at 118.5 m (389 ft). In Godzilla: Planet of the Monsters (2017), Godzilla's height was increased further still to 300 m (984 ft). In Godzilla: King of the Monsters (2019) and Godzilla vs. Kong (2020), Godzilla's height was increased to 119.8 m (393 ft) from the 2014 incarnation.

#.txt #long post

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