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wangxianficfinder · 7 months

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Fic finder

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1. There is a fic that I don’t remember the name of but it was wangxian arranged marriage with heavy angst and unhappy WWX. I remember it had a line going “Being married to me is killing him” so if anyone knows it I will be forever grateful 🥰 @kanrax-blog

FOUND! Concord by Deastar (T, 41k, WangXian, Arranged Marriage, Gūsū Lán Sect Rules, Depression, Canon Divergence, Angst with a Happy Ending)

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2. hello im looking for a fic where lotus pier is home to a bunch of eldritch horrors so our jiang trio have darker vibes. thank you so much for your help

FOUND? Monster in Human Skin Series by Nika_Raven_Celeste (T/M, 20k, WCZ/CSSR/JFM, NiecestXu, QHJ/WWX, WRH/WWX, Dark Jiāngs, dark au, grey morality, Implied/Referenced Cheating, Happy Murder Family, Dehumanization, Dark NHS, Dark NMJ, Non-Consensual Drug Use, Non-human characters, Morally Gray WWX, Gūsū Lán Elders Bashing, Dark Gūsū Lán Sect, Solitary Confinement, Touch-Starved, Gaslighting, Victim Blaming, Mental Health Issues, Emotional Manipulation, Mind Break, Mental Coercion, Dead Dove: Do Not Eat, Age Difference, no WangXian, Literal monster in human skin, Rape/Non-con Elements, Non-Consensual Somnophilia, Imprisonment, Mind Manipulation, Verbal Abuse, Emotional/Psychological Abuse, Incest, Stockholm Syndrome, Power Imbalance, Captivity, spoil of war, Post-Sunshot Campaign, Conditioning, Master/Pet, Fairytale elements, Eldritch) It's about JFM/WCZ/CSSR though

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3. i was hoping you could also help with finding a fic and since i don’t want to flood the inbox, i wanted to put my request here.

i’m looking for a fic/series where wei wuxian and lan wangji are both actors that work on a project together that involves them being intimate. the catch is that wwx thought lwj hated him and so there’s tension there. there’s also a continuation of when they’re happily together where wwx finds a shrine/treasure room dedicated to himself when visiting lwj’s house. it’s one of the first fics i ever read and it’s so deeply buried that I can’t seem to find the bookmark for it and was hoping for help. thank you in advance and i wish you all well.

FOUND! Feel My Love by Leffy (E, 5k, wangxian, modern, Actors, Fluff and Smut, Hand Jobs, Rimming, Anal Sex, inappropriate use of light sticks), of Blooming into the Color of Love series. shout out to asker and their brain cooperating with the details of the fic cause it made it easy to find !

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4. I'd love some help finding a fic! it's a short-ish smut modern au, with gnc lwj who wears skirts and does makeup for football/soccer player wwx, but it's very much canon dynamics! i think wwx has some but not a lot of comphet in it, wwx is very amenable to getting railed by lwj after he learns that this is a thing that could happen. i really enjoyed the characterization

I know I've read 4 but I can't find it/remember what it's called argh. The Twin Jades were child stars and LQR taught them that they had to have other avenues so LXC is a philanthropist (??) And LWJ moonlights in fashion design. He overheard footballer!WWX admitting he would have sex with LWJ and with Mianmian (???)'s help he made it happen. I think the end is a fast forward years later still together/happy.

FOUND! wear me out by plonk (Not Rated, 7k, WangXian, Modern AU, Fashion & Couture, Football | Soccer, Not!Fic)

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5. hi! trying my luck hunting down this fic which i sadly don't remember much of except for one scene. what i rmb is wwx seeing a comb that he wants to get for lwj in caiyi town, and not buying it the first time due to budget issues. when he eventually returns to the stall again, it turns out the seller kept it for him: wwx learns about this from the seller's husband, who is the one at the stall this time, and wwx is surprised to learn about the acceptance of cutsleeve relationships in gusu. thank you very much!!!

FOUND! 🔒 Unstoppable by Netrixie (T, 149k, WangXian, Canon Divergence, Eventual Happy Ending, Unreliable Narrator, Slow Burn, Unresolved Sexual Tension, Unresolved Romantic Tension, Wolf-shifter WWX, Resolved Sexual Tension, Resolved Romantic Tension, Fix-It, Werewolf, Shapeshifters)

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6. Hello, I would like some help?? I’m looking for a fic but I completely forgot the name 🥲

it was a MDZS/TGCF crossover: Xie Lian joined the juniors on their nighthunt and Jingyi spends most of the time suspicious of him. At one point they all thought Xie Lian died but Lan Zichen appeared and performed cpr on him and he was fine. At the end WWX recognized him and called him grand uncle and tells the kids Xie Lian’s a god (and when they ask ‘why didn’t you say anything?’, Xie Lian’s only response was ‘you didn’t ask’)

That’s all I remember, I’m loosing my mind trying to look for it please help me 🥺🥺 I’m sorry if it’s a pain @cullen-blue23

FOUND! Lan Jingyi and the Adventure of the Immortal Cultivator by litbynosun (T, 5k, the junior quartet, TGCF/MDZS, Crossover, Just a Fun Little Romp, Minor Injuries, Canon-Typical Violence, Ghosts, postcanon, (for both books), Friendship, A Pack Of Teens Roaming The Countryside With Swords)

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7. Hello! Excuse me but could you please help me with the title of the Wangxian fic that's a Gawain and the Green Knight AU? Where Lan Wangji plays the role of Gawain and enters into a weird sex game with the Yiling Laozu and Wei Wuxian not knowing they're the same person until the duel? Please? @kaitou-cure-prism12

FOUND! rare the man who'll hold to faith by Fahye (M, 13k, wangxian, canon au, Identity Porn, With Apologies To The Chivalric Romantic Tradition)

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8. Fic finder request please! 🙂

Wangxian was in an arranged marriage au and WWX, in trying to get to know LWJ, hangs onto his arm or something and gets pushed into a pond (by accident fromLwJ), but WWX thinks it was on purpose and he decides to be just as rude back. I can’t remember anything else about it, but I think it had a happy ending and that LWJ had to grovel a bit. I swear I’ve read it a few months ago and can’t find it anywhere! 😭😭

FOUND! i won’t say i’m in love by kazzywx (E, 12k, wangxian, rape/non-con, A/B/O, Arranged Marriage, Miscommunication, Angst with a Happy Ending, Omega WWX, Alpha LWJ, skippable NSFW scenes, wwx’s is basically meg from hercules with his “i wont say im in love” shtick, Hurt WWX, Boypussy, WWX Has a Vulva, Intersex WWX, Dubious Consent, Feminization, Mating Bites, Vaginal Sex, Vaginal Fingering, WWX Has a Fear of Dogs, Mpreg, WWX & WQ Friendship, WWX & WN Friendship, Possessive LWJ, WIP)

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9. Hi, nice ppl! I'm looking for a fic (Modern AU). LWJ is a rich lonely businessman who finds erotic model WWX online (he doesn't do it for pleasure but to pay JC's medical treatment) & falls for him. No explicit sex, WWX just shows his body (only HALF of his face to keep anonymity) & sends private set of pix to clients after paying a lot of money. LWJ becomes the best client instantly, getting more pix & phone calls, which seems to be enough 4 him (he's in love). WWX doesn't trust him, he thinks he could be a psycho, so they didn't meet YET (the fic wasn't finished & now I cannot find it). One day, WWX is in a photo session w/erotic lingery in a building room near LWJ's office, who 'feels' smth but, as he gets to the place, it's already empty & the staff + WWX gone. He founds a piece of his costume & keeps it. Sorry I have no more to add, only that WWX really needs the money for JC's health & asks LWJ to make the payments to his own bank acc, not to the agency (perhaps that lil' info helps). LXC notices a positive change in his brother's mood but LWJ doesn't tell anything to him. TYSM!xo @einherjermineord

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10. Hello this is a long shot but my history and bookmarks crashed on AO3 and there was a fanfic I was reading it was about LZ meeting WY as children one of the two save the other from dogs, LZ gave WY his drum rattle, in a Yilin alley, it was cold and the thin clothed WY got a coat from LZ the author described the coat or cape as embroidery and elegant, then when the uncle and brother came to him, he turn and WY left with the drum rattle but not the coat/cape, years later they are married have children WY pulls out drum rattles and then the old one (which he used as design for the other ones) and is there where they realized are them in the childhood encounter ... I know it's a long shot but do you know what fic I am talking about? Oh and I think it has the tones of mpreg hence the children, but I can't remember much, if you could help me please and thank you

PS there is an author that used a similar encounter in "A Matter of Time" but that is not it I am so sorry to bother you about this, this author told me about you so here I am 😁

Sincerely @mysticalyunique

FOUND! As if you were on fire from within by jalpari (E, 30k, WangXian, Dragon LWJ/Fox WWX, Canon Universe, Getting Together, Bottom LWJ/Top WWX, Pregnant LWJ)

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11. Hello!! I'm looking for either one or 2 fics here. I might have read them at the same time and they blurred together, or it is the same fic. Anyway, one of them has mo xuanyu and nie huaisang working together and mxy is a fashion designer that insists on dressing wwx. And then the other has a scene where wwx is at some fancy party and escapes lwj through like a sky light. It's a cat-and-mouse fic where lwj is trying to capture wwx.

Thanks for your help and all the hard work yall do 🖤🖤🖤

FOUND! To lurk, to lie in wait by trippednfell (M, 124k, WangXian, Modern with Magic, Huli Jing, strangers to co-parents to lovers, Strangers to Lovers, Dragons, Kid Fic, teenage juniors, background NieLan, Angst with a Happy Ending, Case Fic, Implied/Referenced Suicide, Hurt/Comfort, Implied/Referenced Character Death, Not Really Character Death, Fox Spirit WWX, Dragon LWJ, Blood and Injury, Additional Warnings In Author's Note)

FOUND!🔒🧡 Rule Number One: Never get attached. by KizuKatana (E, 130k, WangXian, Modern AU, A/B/O, Criminal underworld AU, Fluff and angst, Crime boss LWJ, Rouge criminal genius WWX, Explicit Sex) #11b with the cat and mouse game sounds like kitzukanas "rule #1 don't get attached"

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12. Hello again. First off I'd like to thank you for all your hard work and help. This blog means alot to me.

I need help finding a fic. It's a modern au. WWX is a hacker. I forgot what LWJ does. It's not something he likes. He doesn't like his life/work. Doing it just for family. There was a part in the fic where LQR said/asked? If LWJ was happy and LWJ said no.

If you do find this fic, would you also recommend something in this similar theme? LWJ doing things for family and not being happy and LQR finds out and regrets his actions? @lailan-rosie

FOUND? Tempo Rubato by Spodumene (E, 107k, WangXian, Modern AU, Angst with a Happy Ending, Romance, Persuasion au, Separations, Mutual Pining, Depression, Miscommunication, Emotional Roller Coaster, Implied/Referenced Self-Harm, Reconciliation, Eventual Smut, Jane Austen Fusion, Underage Kissing)

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13. Hi, Help me find this fic🙏

Lwj is in a hostage/courtesan/concubine situation and the ones who owns him are either wens or jins. Lxc is free and about, knows lwj's situation yet does nothing/can't do nothing because of sect politics.

WWX meets lwj, a stranger at lwj's institution/lodgings and is appalled at lxc for his inaction. Wwx fights/duels lxc saying hes a bad brother. @imstillthinkingaboutithmm

NOT FOUND! The Last Concubine by deliciousblizzardshark (T, 13k, WangXian, Royalty, Emperor WWX, Concubine LWJ, LWJ Whump, Forced Marriage, Starvation, Non-physical spousal abuse, Fluff and Angst, Doing the Wrong Thing for the Right Reasons, Happy Ending, WWX Takes Care of LWJ)

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14. Hi! I’m looking for a fic where rogue!wwx(?) meets LWJ who came down from the mountain just to collect books and bring knowledge back to the cloud recesses. It’s like a right of passage thing? They travel together a long time and then LWJ gets called home. I think he gives WWX a way to contact him even though he shouldn’t? And WWX ends up bringing the Wen remnants to CR.

FOUND? my rivers tilt towards you by perfectlyrose (T, 26k, WangXian, Canon, Canon Divergence, Slow Burn, Mutual Pining, Fairy Tale Elements, dragonji, mentions of, Madam Yu's A+ Parenting, First Meetings, Romance, Strangers to Friends to Lovers, Hurt/Comfort)

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15. hi ! this is for fic finder, i think i asked before but i don’t believe it was found: wangxian modern au, they reunite after a gap bc lan zhan gets into an accident (he’s fine, but it was going to be on the news because he’s a bit famous (i think it was as a tv baker) so lan xichen comes over to tell him). they get closer again and i think near the end it’s revealed that lan sizhui is lan yuan, a patient wei ying grew attached to that lan zhan adopted a few yrs after wei ying disappeared @willesnelson

FOUND? Lifelong Confidant by saved (E, 42k, WangXian, Modern AU, Fluff and Angst, Past Character Death, Families of Choice, Explicit Sexual Content, Idiots in Love, Misunderstandings, Oblivious WWX, playing fast and loose with basic real life things, references to past alcoholism/substance abuse, Alcohol)

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16. Hello! Hoping to find a fic where Meng Yao I think is the main character. Modern AU, the ensemble are nurses/doctors. Meng Yao is a nurse, but like the head or charge nurse - he points out you can tell bc he's wearing a particular color of scrubs (yellow?). The plot had to do with people actually protecting him for once and his father trying to pin his own mal practice (or possibly Jin Zixun's) on Meng Yao. But Nie Huisang manages to save the day by "stumbling across" records that proved it was Jin Guangshan/Zixun at fault.

Thanks so much for all your hard work mods! @somevariationofgay

FOUND! No Drug Like Me by Justkeeptrekkin (E, 32k, XiYao, Modern AU, Hospital, They're all doctors and nurses, Mutual Pining, Eventual Smut, Fluff)

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17. hii, I hope you're doing well, I'm looking for fic whose description was smth like "yuan watches some man try take away his xian-gege" it isn't accurate, and I think it's a humorous fic from a-yuan's pov where lwj is around wwx and yuan is annoyed. Thank u for ur work!!! @mercurygirlwt28

FOUND! as i stumble homewards by the_pretzel (T, 27k, WangXian, Canon Divergence, Canonical Character Death - WWX, Found Family, Food Issues, Trauma, Canon-Typical Violence, sizhui pov, Angst with a Happy Ending, Fluff) lmao I found it myself. thank you sm for ur time!!!!!

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18. Hi I’m looking for a fic where Wei Ying wears Gusu Lan robes and no one recognizes him?

I think (and don’t quote me lol) that it is after the temple scenes and he lives in Gusu land now. @kyuubikuroba

FOUND? Wei Wuxian is Definitely Not Possessed by CursedBlessing (T, 20k, wangxian, JC & WWX, Misunderstandings, Is it exorcism if there's nothing to exorcise?, General Dumbassery, Humor) maybe chapter 3 of this one? Some people recognize wwx but some don't

FOUND? How Odd by bedheadrat (M, 35k, WIP, Case Fic, Fluff and Smut, BAMF WWX, Protective LWJ, Possessive LWJ, Rich LWJ, Genius WWX, Separation, Anxiety, Evil Plans, Touch-Starved, LWJ 's white robes kink, Attempted Kidnapping, Attempted Seduction, Misunderstandings, Not Cheating, Threats, Vandalism, Stealing, Canon Compliant, Post-Canon)

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19. hello! i am looking for a fic, if you don’t mind helping me ☺️

i believe in the fic wwx and lwj used to know each other well (or were together? i cant remember), and wwx came back to lwj’s life with baby sizhui. the baby is also lwj’s i think? but lwj didnt know prior to wwx’s return. the fic is set in modern times, so lwj is a rich boss running a company and wants to provide wwx and baby sizhui everything they need. theres this one scene where lwj gets overwhelmed about the whole situation, so he starts making lists: schools for sizhui, putting wwx on lwj’s uber plan, etc etc.

i’ve been looking for this fic for a very long time but my hands still come up empty. thank you very much!

FOUND? Family Pictures (Or: “Mark Rothko is very, very dead, Wei Ying.”) by belleweather (M, 37k, WangXian, Kid Fic, Post Mpreg, Modern AU, Cindarella Story, Mistaken Identity, Mistaken for Being in a Relationship, art conservator lwj, idiot WWX, (he gets better slowly), shockingly little actual sex omg what happened to me, fake/mistaken cheating, no actual infidelity)

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20. Hey, I'm losing my mind looking for this fic where wy fall in love with 3 different people he meets(like gamer id, chat id, irl id) but they're all lwj.

Any idea which fic this is? @imstillthinkingaboutithmm

#20 it's not duo with you.

Actually I'm currently reading duo with you and that's is when i remembered about the 3 identity fic i can't find.

Duo with you is very nice to read, thanks

NOT FOUND! The Best Gift by Lan_Wangjoe (E, 45k, wangxian, Modern, Mistaken Identity, Miscommunication, Fluff, Family Dynamics, Falling In Love, Idiots in Love, Dorks in Love, Nice LQR, Meet the Family, Nerdiness, Science Boyfriends, Science Experiments, Fake Science, Science Husbands, Geeks, Work Contains Fan(s) or Fandom(s), Fandom Allusions & Cliches & References, Adopted Sibling Relationship, Adopted Children, Marriage of Convenience, Secret Marriage, Didn't Know They Were Dating, Stupidity, Himbo LXC, Lan Himbos, Lán Family Feels, Making fun of the Lan's again, Everyone Is Alive, Everyone Thinks They're Together, Good Parents JFM & YZY, Genius WWX) Wwx is a "true genius" that was obsessed with books written by lqr. He's fav character is hgj, online frenemy is lwj, and irl genius rival is lz

NOT FOUND! Duo With You by Nyatci (T, 48k, wangxian, JFM/YZY, JYL/JZX, modern, College/University, , Gamers WàngXiànCasual Gaming, enemies to lovers (sorta), Secret Identity vibes, they play league of legends, Kinda Crack but treated very seriously, Implied/Referenced Homophobia, Implied/Referenced Child Abuse, Comedy, Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Abusive Jiāng Family, Eventual Happy Ending, Ga(y)mers WangXian, now with fanart, WIP)

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#wangxian #wangxianficfinder #wangxian fic search #wangxian fic finder #the untamed #long post #mdzs

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danmeiconfession · 8 months

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I think the biggest problem in the MDZS fandom is that people try to play the Trauma Olympics and push a weird moralist viewpoint where, if you underwent trauma and ended up still being kind and "good," then your trauma is more valid, but if you turned bad or reacted ugly in response to that trauma, then your trauma was "never that deep" or "it was no excuse and you're, deep down, a terrible person who deserves to die." And its strange because MDZS is a story about trauma (a lot of it stemming from childhood, and its easy to forget that they were just kids), and how they manifest in different ways - jc's anger and "hatred" of wwx, xy adopting a "if they hurt me, i will hurt them worse because i am the most important" attitude, wwx refusing to acknowledge his trauma, nhs creating an elaborate revenge plan, etc. - but so many fans are quick to lift up their favs and how they handled trauma while demonizing others. Especially those who react ugly to trauma, like jc or xy, or even jgy (and if we're talking about other books, they do the same to qr, mq, sj, and yqy even if his response isn't as "ugly"). MDZS is a morally grey series, there's no point in trying to force a moral.

And I'm not saying you have to like a character just because they went through a lot or that their trauma can be used as an excuse to ignore what they did (cuz what xy did to xxc was evil even though i love him), but if you're going to talk about trauma and motivation and behaviors about the characters and then analyze them from a 21st century moralist viewpoint where "morally pure" characters have their traumas acknowledged while "morally evil" characters' traumas aren't as important, it's a bit odd and leads to unnecessary fighting.

#mdzs #mo dao zu shi #jiang cheng #xue yang #wei wuxian #jin guangyao #the grandmaster of demonic cultivation #grandmaster of demonic cultivation #nie huaisang #shen jiu #mu qing

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admirableadmiranda · 2 years

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It’s wild to me that so many JGY stans hate NHS and claim he’s the worse of the two. Like…JGY abused Sisi by forcing her to participate in JGS’s death, while NHS rescued her. NHS may be morally grey but there’s no moral equivalence between a man who abuses a woman and a man who rescues her.

Jin Guangyao stans are just absolutely wild. Now I did clock that in CQL that he doesn't commit as many crimes because Xue Yang is no longer his murder buddy in the Jin sect, committing atrocities and killing people Murder Dimples doesn't like, but even so he still kills a great many people in terrible ways and most all of them barring Jin Guangshan and Wen Ruohan are innocents who happened to be in the way of his climb to power.

And in both book and show, I have worked out that pretty much the entire plot from Wen Ruohan's death onward cannot happen without him there spinning his webs and scheming to become Jin Guangshan's most beloved son. He is such a villain I don't get how people look at him and say that

In contrast, Nie Huaisang's worst acts that we are shown in the book are leading the juniors to Yi City and killing cats to get them there. Which leading a bunch of innocent children into a town full of ghouls and Xue Yang is Not Great, but Wangxian are also on the way there and A-Qing is keeping them out of danger until they show up so I'm inclined to shrug on that. Otherwise his hands are relatively clean on anything we can pin to him. There's maybe a case of some desecration of a body, there's him being "utterly useless" at the Second Siege (notice how every time he speaks he either pulls the crowd into following what he wants them to do or gets them to stop badgering Wei Wuxian, he was there for a different reason than he claimed), there's him tricking Lan Xichen into stabbing Jin Guangyao which I celebrate him for.

Really they're not even on the same playing field. Pretty much all of the things that Jin Guangyao is being buried for at the end - he actually did.

To roughly quote an episode of Leverage: Jin Guangyao dug his own grave. Nie Huaisang just made sure the nails stuck in his coffin.

Thanks for the ask, anon!

#mdzs #nie huaisang #nie huaisang vs jin guangyao #jin guangyao #murder dimples #lu cha biao #asks #anon #anon asks #jin guangyao is a villain

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lhaewiel · 2 years

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JC, JGY & LWJ for the character ask?

Hello Anon!

Let's see.

Jiang Cheng

favorite thing about them: the fact that even if he broke, he found enough strength to raise his head again and become who he is. That requires a lot of strength and I admire his headstrong attitude

least favorite thing about them: JC I love you, but you need to learn how tocommunicate your feelings in other ways than anger. That would truly improve a LOT of things.

favorite line: I'd have to rewatch the drama, but I don't really have a favourite line.

brOTP: JC/WWX

OTP: SangCheng, Xicheng, XiSangCheng - but I am a multishipper

nOTP: IDK, I still have to find a pairing that will make me go ew.

random headcanon: feel free to choose

unpopular opinion: he deserves a way less harsh treatment and more understanding, JC haters can s*ck my metaphorical d*ck.

song i associate with them: Let's see... Lazzaro by Subsonica, To every heartache by Lullacry. Man more, but these songs unhinge me

favorite picture of them: this one. it is just so soft and so asdfghjkl

nJin Guangyao

favorite thing about them: the patience he has is unnatural, I WISH I had his patience and calm. He can pull on a perfect poker face, just slightlypulling it off when erge or even dage are around.

least favorite thing about them: he thinks too much about every possible outcome, thus resulting in a Power Rangers villain - yes, if he had just fled at Guanyin temple without involving anyone, he'd be in Dongyin way with his one (1) henchman very far from any drama, but he NEEDED to be a dramatic little shit and that was his biggest mistake. Because JGY is a dramatic little shit when he wants to appear oh-so-grand

favorite line: :) *dimples* - jk, I would need to rewatch properly the series

brOTP: you know, JGY/SS is a good brotp, but in my good AU that lives in my head JGY and JZX are bros

OTP: XiYao, 3Zun, NieYao

nOTP: I don't dig a lot the dynamics of JGY/XY. I mean, it would be hilarious, but not my cup of tea.

random headcanon: he truly fell in love with LXC, he fell for him like a ripe pear falls from the tree. And that is why he never wanted to hurt LXC

unpopular opinion: he should have known better where to place his loyalties. A lot of bloodshed could have been avoided.

song i associate with them: emperor's new clothes by Panic! At the Disco

favorite picture of them: unhiged_dimples.png

Lan Wangji

favorite thing about them: he is such a dedicated man, who tries to understand the whole black and white vs grey morality. He tries his best to make sense of crazy situations.

least favorite thing about them: the fact that if it is not Brother or Wei Ying he is talking to, he is a complete asshat to everyone else. Pls, my boy, try to understand that you will NOT have always Brother and his Political Power to excuse your behaviours.

favorite line: the "you are not qualified" sticked with me for its pettiness

brOTP: LXC/LWJ, you know what, I'd love to see more of LWJ/NHS, considering that the respective big brothers are best friends I would love to see more interactions

OTP: WangXian

nOTP: I have not really considered a lot of ships, the power of WangXian is too strong

random headcanon: whilst mourning in seclusion he composed so many requiem songs that it made both brother and uncle worry.

unpopular opinion: IDK if it an unpopular opinion, but I think that composing WangXian.mp3 was a highly romantic gesture

song i associate with them: in your likeness by woodkid

favorite picture of them: LOOK AT THIS LOVESTRUCK IDIOT, NO THOUGHTS HEAD EMPTY, ONLY WEI YING.

#jiang cheng #jin guangyao #lan wangji #ask

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paradife-loft · 4 years

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ngl it’s been really rubbing me the wrong way, how I’ve seen discussion about the alteration of plot/character elements from MDZS to The Untamed that not only claims that transition reduced moral complexity/greyness, but outright eliminated it.

like I just. did we watch the same show?? - and ok, fair, if this is just a case of me reading “no moral complexity was allowed for censorship reasons” and taking it at literal face value when it’s meant to be a bit of an exaggeration for rhetorical effect, that’s. well, I would argue that perhaps clarity is more important than rhetoric in fandom-general analytical posts compared to casual conversation Being Cranky With Your Friends, but. Assuming that I can take the words at face value as advocating the point that they literally convey -

look. yes. certain Good Guys’ actions were softened (oh look, WWX is now rather less of a mass murderer! that’s fun! LWJ has more explicit concern with doing the right thing overall, as opposed to Only Protecting WWX No Matter What!), while Bad Guys’ actions were made more obvious or explicit in their severity (the Jin clan hosts war crimes as a party game! to a majority of viewers, JZX^2, Qin Su, Jin Rusong, etc.’s deaths were intentionally planned and committed murders!*).

but I think it’s truly a mistake to look at those instances and then just ignore all the other layers that are still retained in the show? nonconsensual golden core transferring still happens! WWX does still torture a whole bunch of people to death; the fact that they’re not as “innocent” as the pledge conference cultivators doesn’t make that not a bad thing to do? LWJ still fights and injures a bunch of his clan elders over - something; it’s not entirely clear; but probably not the explicit protection of a batch of civilians at that point, considering nobody ever actually says anything about any of the Wen remnants as the beneficiaries of his stand in the Burial Mounds. we still have instances such as “NHS being repeatedly callous about fatal collateral damage in his revenge quest” and “Jiang Cheng arguing for turning over a bunch of civilians for slaughter to save his shidi”.

and most notably on the other side - a lot of the alteration to JGY’s circumstances to make him look “more culpable/evil” are actually not that substantive. like, I see the relative timing of Madame Qin’s revelation cited a lot - and while yes, I agree it’s kind of annoying of a change to make - does the incest being accidental really make that situation so much more grey and blameless than the weight of being trapped by a massive web of obligation and potential consequences and so knowingly going through with the marriage does? likewise, so many “explanations” of JGY’s crimes and their supposed intentionality are put in the mouths of other characters who have no actual way of knowing the truth of what they’re saying. it’s supposition and hearsay - variably reasonable depending on the item in question, but are we really going to argue in this narrative that a character saying something without them and/or us having seen it ourselves, is equivalent to proof that events actually definitely happened that way?

ultimately, my point is - sure, censorship rules mean black and white are meant to be portrayed in more clearly defined ways, and some of the characterisation and narrative changes made in adaptation were probably related to that. but since when are censors the most accurate, knowledgeable, or close readers of a text? queerness wasn’t allowed in The Untamed either, and look how well that worked out! the fact that the more obvious and surface-level content and messages have to conform to external rules in an artistic work, generally means that more complex and subversive content gets layered in through subtleties, implications, and other less-flashy aspects of a work. yeah, you might need to dig for them a little more than in a comparative non-censored work. but that doesn’t mean that in the hands of a capable, passionate team of creators, those elements just wholesale stop existing. it’s a frustrating disservice to the story in The Untamed and the people who worked on bringing all the characters to life to claim otherwise, even though god knows there are plenty of elements to be critical of, frustrated by, unhappy about, in terms of adaptation decisions made and fan reactions to them, depending on one’s own personal preferences.

anyway, that’s my rant /o/

#rambling #no good things for the poor sad cultivators #op #media analysis #I guess???#this doesn't get into everything I could say on this topic but AUGH I wasn't even intending on writing this today sooooo #(also not pictured: the massive digression partway through that's just me unfurling a giant scroll of JGY apologism)#('unlike in MDZS he's just pure evil in CQL!!!' WELL ACTUALLY...)#....but that's part of what I was meaning to get back to Actually writing today sooooo

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untamedunrestrained · 3 years

Text

Moral of the Story

I was scrolling through the WangXian tag on Tumblr when I came across a post that I eventually scrolled past but it seems to have planted a germ of an idea that I just can’t shake loose and I tried and I tried and then I procrastinated some more for good measure but it didn’t work. So, here I am trying to present my thoughts with some degree of coherency.

The post that was the impetus for this post, talks about LWJ’s punishment after the events at Nightless City just before WWX’s death. That post raises the question of how LWJ could forgive his uncle and brother for a punishment that would have killed a lesser cultivator.

The moment I read the post I disagreed with it but I couldn’t quite put my finger on why but since I have been thinking about it for the past few days, I now know exactly why I disagreed with the post in the first place.

Before we proceed, I would like to make it clear that while what I’m about to say tracks across every canon of MDZS, I’m going to pick the details from the novel verse because it’s more detailed with regards to this particular aspect of the story, and also if you have only watched The Untamed/CQL and not read the novel (albeit only in its translated form) it might be easier to fall into the type of thinking that lead to the previous post in the first place.

Ideally, I should just link to the original post but since I found the post while I was scrolling through Tumblr’s tag for WangXian and initially tried to ignore it completely because I didn’t quite understand why that particular idea was troubling me, I don’t think it would be easy to find it again and since I’m disagreeing with the post I don’t want the author of the post to find this because even when we try to be rational our first response to being disagreed with is hurt or anger and I don’t want anyone to feel that way. These are just my thoughts and you might agree or disagree with them but I feel like I should put them out there since the idea will not leave me alone.

So, let’s get into it.

LWJ is given thirty-three discipline whips for each of the thirty-three GusuLan elders he gravely injured to protect WWX.

When WWX sees LWJ scars in the novel these are his thoughts-

Usually, with only one or two strikes of the discipline whip, it would already be enough of a punishment for the bearer to remember it for their whole life, never to make the same mistake ever again. The amount of scars on this person’s back accumulated thirty at the least. Just what sort of monstrous crime did he commit for him to be whipped so many times? If it really was a monstrous crime, why didn’t they kill him?

As we will later learn LWJ’s punishment is a little more detailed than just whipping he was also made to kneel in front of the “Wall of Discipline” following the whipping.

It’s a barbaric punishment and of course, the ones ordering it are his uncle and his brother who have both been established as characters who truly do love LWJ. So, why? Why is LWJ’s punishment so severe, well there are two reasons for that and I will discuss the lamer one first.

His punishment was severe because by this point we know that LWJ is probably one of the best cultivators of his generation if not the best (I could definitely argue for the latter, I mean this guy can fight Xue Yang wielding his sword with one hand and keep an entire horde of zombies at bay while playing his guqin with the other. And, did I mention this is happening at the same time, he literally managed to fight a horde of zombies and Xue Yang with two different cultivation methods being practised simultaneously and of course, he won but not only that there wasn’t a moment during this entire fight when that wasn’t the expected outcome). So, of course, if you want to really punish this guy the punishment has to be on par with his own physical and spiritual strength, it wouldn’t be much of a punishment he was able to do it without even breaking a sweat. I told you it was a bit lame.

Secondly and more importantly, the punishment should fit the crime. If the crime is particularly grievous, the punishment must be as well, it must be severe and in this particular story, depending on the individual’s spiritual strength a severe enough punishment might be different for different levels of cultivation. So, the real question is did LWJ deserve the punishment and the answer is an unequivocal YES.

LWJ grievously injured thirty-three GusuLan elders who were looking for him specifically so that they could find him before the other clans did because if the other clans did find him first they would kill him. After all, he saved WWX and kept him alive. The same WWX who at the Nightless City declared war on the combined might of the Cultivation World and then proceeded to kill thousands of Cultivators and then when they died he resurrected them to fight their very own comrades, that WWX.

Now, we might all argue he only fought the Cultivators because they killed all the Wen remnants and that only happened because he killed Jin ZiXuan who he technically didn’t kill but he definitely provided the opportunity and the weapon for his death because his ego couldn’t let Jin ZiXun go. At this point, we don’t know that there is another player in the mix but both these fights that ultimately take the lives of Jin ZiXuan and Jiang Yanli respectively were both started by WWX and even if we forget about the inciting event (Jin ZiXuan’s death), WWX still killed thousands of people from all clans. But, we only know these intricacies because the story is told from WWX’s perspective. LWJ doesn’t know this and neither do most of the people in the Cultivation World.

What they do know is that LWJ took WWX after he had killed thousands of cultivators and depleted the remaining Cultivators of their spiritual energy so thoroughly it took them three months to recover enough to mount a second attack. No matter how you spin it WWX is responsible for those deaths and LWJ is responsible for saving an outright murderer and then he further cemented his crimes by fighting thirty-three of his own elders and grievously injuring them in defence of said murderer when it seems like they largely made the journey to protect LWJ's life and his reputation and not with the primary purpose of killing WWX.

So, yes he deserves his punishment and as he himself believes this -

But he (LWJ) said… that he could not say with certainty whether what you (WWX) did was right or wrong, but no matter what, he was willing to be responsible for all of the consequences alongside you.

The reason LWJ could forgive LXC and LQR for his punishment is because he didn’t need to. He understood exactly why he was being punished. At the end of the day, LWJ didn’t actually protect WWX thinking that he might be right, he protected WWX because he was intensely and irrevocably in love with him and he is ready to stand by his love right or wrong.

While these are all very valid points the real reason that post caused this disquiet to appear in me was because it was trying to paint LXC and LQR’s actions in a bad light with the power of hindsight completely forgetting that their actions were relevant in the context they happened in which brought me spiralling back to the story as a whole.

The story firmly tries to tell you that what you see and what you observe might paint a very clear narrative in your eyes but there is always a possibility that the narrative we feel is so immutable can completely change its structure if we were just able to see it in a different light as is beautifully illuminated by this story.

The other thing that we don’t realise is that in this story we aren’t depicted by LWJ or WWX or JC or JL or LSZ or even NHS and JGY for the matter. We are the mob, we are Sect Leader Yao, we are the people who are told stories that paint people in a certain light and then we can’t see them in any other light. In our very upbringing, some prejudices are a staple and we still harbour them and these influence how we interact with the world and more specifically how we judge people and their actions. This story urges us to remember that while things might seem black and white maybe unearthing the reasons behind them might make the story more grey, so the next time you decide to paint a group of people or even a particular person as wholly bad no matter how egregious their actions may seem remember the moral of Mo Dao Zu Shi, remember that there might be more to the story than meets the eye and more importantly remember that something in the future might make a success of today look like a blight on history.

If I have to be more precise, I would say the moral of this story is to be open to the possibility that we might not know the whole story and we might be wrong even when we are a 100% convinced we aren’t.

#mo dao zu shi #wei wuxian #lan wangji #lan xichen #lan qiren #wangxian #myposts

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sleepy-salami · 3 years

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nie mingjue for the ask game!

Hi and thank you!

How I feel about this character: I feel like I don’t think enough about him and won’t do his character the justice he deserves tbh. He’s such an interesting and complex character who is so often boiled down to... idk, “an angry jock”? And I’m guilty of that too, sometimes. I have so much Respect for him though, for his sense of duty, and fierce strength, and loyalty, and protectiveness. I love how determined he is to Do The Right Thing at all times, even if he doesn’t always consider all the shades of grey between “right” and “wrong”. He died too damn early, and for what, for keeping Xue Yang alive? I fully support NHS in setting the world on fire.

All the people I ship romantically with this character: I enjoy all variations of 3Zun, but NieYao most of all, I think. There’s something mesmerizing about their absolute trainwreck of a relationship. I’ve also seen people shipping him with Wen Qing, and I haven’t actually read any content about them yet, but I’m intrigued? I mean, he was the one who vocally advocated for her death, because she was close to Wen Ruohan and Nie Mingjue is straightforward like that, but... maybe? Maybe if they had a chance to know each other? They’re both strong, fierce, terrifyingly competent, have a strong set of morals, sometimes naive - I feel like they could have been friends, at least. And if working for Wen Ruohan was the only way to keep Huaisang alive and safe... surely it’s a thought even Nie Mingjue can entertain.

My non-romantic OTP for this character: Nie Huaisang, obviously. Their relationship is so briefly explored in the novel and so critical to its central plot. And it’s not the most perfect relationship, they both have their issues with each other, but they still cling to each other no matter what, and it makes their story even more tragic ugh Also Nie Mingjue and Lan Xichen. I kinda like their BroTP more than their romantic relationship, but idk. I just think they’re neat.

My unpopular opinion about this character: I don’t like his cql moustache OKAY, OKAY, I respect his moustache, but I still like his manhua/donghua design more. Is it an unpopular opinion? Idk why is NMJ so damn hot there. Have you seen him? Yeah.

One thing I wish would happen / had happened with this character in canon: Honestly, I wish we had more friendly interactions between him and NHS in the novel. When I first read it, I had an impression that their relationship is kinda unhealthy? I mean, the most memorable scene involving these characters is NMJ burning all of NHS’s favorite things in a fit of rage, and NHS being heartbroken enough to burn himself trying to save them from the fire. Between that and “your brother will break your legs”, it just gave me the unpleasant vibes. And then the novel finale hit me in the face with “Nie Huaisang did all of that just to avenge his brother”, and I was like. Okay, maybe I missed something. And I sure did. At least the Untamed and Fatal Journey gave me some almost-canon wholesome content, and I’m grateful for that.

#ask meme #nie mingjue #mdzs #the untamed

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magpiefngrl · 4 years

Note

For mao dao zu shi what would you take from the novel, drama and donghua and combine into a new show? Also have you read the manhua/comic

Hi!

I haven’t read the manhua yet, I think the English fan translations have been taken down. If anyone knows a place online to see the original, I’d appreciate a link; I don’t read Chinese but I know the story already and just want to feast my eyes on the pretty pics.

Now, to your question (and what an excellent question!):

For me, the drama did the best job in showing the character relationships. The creators leaned hard on all the character moments and if the plot didn’t quite hold together... *shrug*. Some of their changes were because of censorship (gay romance, zombies) but others because of this emphasis on relationships.

Which is why, in the drama, there is a stronger bond between wwx and his shijie that (irrc) isn’t quite there in the books. She’s in the Cloud Recesses with her brothers (unlike the novel), she’s there when they flee the massacre of the Lotus Pier (unlike the book). She’s present in more scenes and portrayed, very prominently and clearly, as a person wwx adores and as someone who’s openly affectionate and very, very fond of him. The impact of the battle in Nightless City is gut-wrenching, precisely bc of this change.

The drama also has a lot more interaction between lwj and wwx in his first life. In the novel, there’s no travelling around to find Yin Ti iron. We go from the interaction at Cloud Recesses (where wwx is kicked out early) to meeting after Burial Mounds. This doesn’t translate to a strong bond between the two, nor is it clear why lwj wants to help wwx so desperately. But in the drama it makes sense: they’ve gone on a mission together. They discovered a homicidal statue in a cave, killed the Wen Owl together, discovered the Chang Mansion and arrested Xue Yang, had drinks in a tavern with third-wheels jc and nhs. They’ve had all sorts of adventures and experiences together. Add the actors longingly glancing at each other, and lwj’s worry after Burial Mounds makes perfect sense. It’s also more heart-breaking to see wwx reject him the way he did.

I also like the change with wwx’s death. It tells me the producers took a good look at their material and said: “these are the two most crucial relationships in wwx’s life, his boyfriend and his brother”, and then wrote this scene where one is trying to kill him and the other trying to save him. They condensed the essence of these relationships and their arcs in a pivotal and highly cinematic scene. So kudos for that.

Other little elements that the show enhanced on: Wen Qing was a more prominent character; wwx saving Wen Ning in the lake created a debt which explained why Wen Ning would be so willing to risk his own life to help him save jc.

What I would remove from the drama is the cartoony evil of the Wens. A throne room with zombies in a stark palace surrounded by mountains of lava ruled by a man who’s on the brink of insanity? In the novel, they’re simply a very wealthy and powerful sect that decides to expand and take over the cultivation world. An imperialist royal house, if you will, which I prefer. Wwx is also a more grey character. His heretical path is stark and obvious: he’s resurrecting zombies to fight in his stead. He creates fierce corpses in the Blood Pool. He loses control of the Ghost General once when he kills Zixuan. Losing control is an actual consequence. Lwj is right to worry. Esp considering how wwx dies in the novel.

Whereas in the drama, he’s casting this super aesthetic black smoke (which I LOVE, don’t get me wrong) and manipulates resentful energy but it’s not as obvious as to why this is so frowned upon. But this change was because of censorship.

The donghua sticks close to novel canon. The design is stunning. Truly amazing visuals. They also have the same voice actors as CQL! It’s a great and fast way to familiarise oneself with the fandom bc there are only two seasons with a handful of short episodes that speed through the main bits of the story.

tl;dr:

What I’d take from the three is:

--from the drama: the emphasis on character relationships plus the way Wei Ying died.

--from the donghua: the awesome visuals (the slaughter of the turtle in the cave! magnificent!)

--from the novel: the more realistic depiction of the cultivation world and the grey morality of our necromantic flute boi. Edit to add: AND THE ENDING!! Would Lwj ever leave wwx’s side after 13/16 lonely years pining and missing him? NO, HE WOULDN’T! (yeah censorship, I know)

Thanks for the ask!

#the untamed #mdzs #mo dao zu shi #cql #inbox #i adore the series #and enjoyed the novel and the donghua #this isn't me hating on them #just cherry-picking the best from each

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vespertineflora · 4 years

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How do you think things would have changed if JGY had stayed with the Nie?

oh anon that IS the question, isn’t it? :)

are we assuming novel!jgy? i’m going novel!jgy route, because cql needed to turn Jgy’s grey morality into something a bit darker (in order to lighten wwx’s grey morality), therefore making him seem more more keen on murder and ambition than his novel self is

so i see a couple possibilities! there’s a chance that jgy just continued working in the Nie Sect, helping plan battles, organize troops, run things in the UR, etc, whatever his other duties as deputy happened to be. the course of the war would certainly change! it might take years longer, there might be more casualties, and if the fight dragged on long enough, there’s even a chance that resources could have run low and really endangered the chance of winning against the Wens. or maybe, with jgy’s help as a strategist, they would win more battles than they lost, and eventually win! i do imagine the war taking much longer in that scenario though.

in this case, once the war is finally over, jgy has earned respect as a strategist or even a general, and at the next banquet, jgy accompanies nmj, his father is forced to confront him... but maybe that’s it. jgy was important to the war efforts, but he didn’t earn himself a war hero title, so jgs isn’t forced to recognize him as his son. maybe jgy meets jzx and they get along! maybe they stay in written communication, because jzx will be the next sect leader and it might be politically advantageous to strike up a bit of a relationship with the person who’s second in commend in the nie sect! jgy returns to nie sect and continues his work as nmj’s deputy, feeling secure in his position after earning the respect of disciples who have slowly accepted him as a member of the sect. he learns song of clarity, plays is for nmj daily to keep him calm, nmj lives for a few years longer than he otherwise would have... and when nhs is forced into his role as sect leader, he has his very helpful gege at his side to keep everything running as efficiently and smoothly as before.

i have and will CONTINUE to maintain that jgy wasn’t greedy for power! he just wanted stability! he wanted respect, and he wanted to feel secure in his position! i think nie sect, especially once they moved past the sensationalist gossip and started respecting jgy as nmj’s capable right hand man, was a good environment for jgy to find this.

the other possibility is that jgy sees how the tide of the war is changing gradually in the wens’ favor, and he approaches nmj with a plan: stage a fall out between them, allowing jgy to defect and join the wens undercover and act as a spy. nmj is resistant, maybe needs some convincing, but eventually, is talked into it. they stage a vicious fight of some sort, and jgy leaves.

a few years later, when nmj winds up captured in nightless city, he knows the jgy has been feeding them information from the wens, and he knows how much he’s been risking the past few years to do it. he and jgy catch eyes, if only briefly, a knowing look exchanged between them. do the disciples with nmj know? do they keep their mouths shut, saving them from being killed instantly? or maybe they don’t know (secrets needed to be kept) and speak up and jgy has no choice but to kill them, making sure it’s a quick death, a mercy, to keep wrh from devising a far more extravagant death for them. in the end, wrh and nmj exchange blows, and in the last moment, jgy kills wrh and drags nmj to safety, and when nmj recovers, he’s still furious and upset, but at least this time, he understands. he knew what jgy had sacrificed and what would be lost in everything had fallen apart in those final moments.

nmj takes jgy back to nie sect, because he is still his deputy. even if jgs is suddenly more motivated to claim jgy as his son, to claim some glory of the war for his own sect.... qinghe is jgy’s home. it’s the only home he’s ever known outside of the brothel, and nmj wants him there. things are tense for a while, as nmj copes with jgy killing those disciples, and as jgy copes with his massive ptsd from being one misstep from a painful death within the wen sect, but they do cope. they work together, and working together reminds them how well they do it, how smoothly everything runs, how well they know each other, and eventually things settle (cue the above ending, playing clarity until eventually nmj passes)

the jins don’t have as much room to be evil and nefarious, jgy isn’t there to tell jzxuan about his cousin’s plan, so maybe jxzun is killed, but jzxuan and yanli live. what happens to wwx in this au? well, killing an asshole cousin isn’t nearly so bad as killing a sect heir, so maybe the siege happens or maybe it doesn’t. is xue yang even recruited by the jins in this au? he wouldn’t have jgy’s help controlling him in this, so it seems like xue yang would be more of a liability than anything.

(and this last bit is going to be me pushing a nieyao agenda :) after the high emotions of what happened after nightless city, after slowly learning their way around each other again, their feelings for each other are at the forefront of their thoughts, they manage to have a tense conversation and air out their concerns and afterwards feel... more settled. they understand each other more fully... maybe some time later, jgy falls asleep at his desk, wakes up from a nightmare in a panic and nmj comes across him, calms him down.... maybe............... they kiss :)))))) and maybe that kissing leads to more and MAYBE someone suggests that......... what could really help nmj manage his qi.............. is some good old fashioned dual cultivation :))))))))))))) jgy’s golden core gets stronger, nmj’s qi becomes more balanced and between that and song of clarity, nmj manages to live another two decades in relative peace with his nie-furen!!!!)

#jin guangyao #meng yao #nie mingjue #nieyao #mdzs #Anonymous #answered a thing

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vaguely-concerned · 4 years

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my friends... like a fool I did watch fatal journey. and I indeed cried a lot because nie brothers!!!! spoilers under the cut!

- first of all: nie huaisang is my favourite mdzs character and I’m SO happy with how they’ve done his characterization here! he’s so smart! (and his brother knows and respects it, as does their whole sect ;_______; I get the sense not a lot of people actually know him that well, it’s so good to know nie mingjue does and is aware that his brother is intelligent and capable behind his antics)

also loved how the narrative supported the emotional throughline that nie huaisang doesn’t need to be changed into something he’s not to be a Valid sect leader -- he is never going to be a martial arts master or into military stuff and he is kind of soft but he’s also very explicitly not a coward and is competent and charismatic in his own way as well as y’know a secret mastermind. (...and he survives jin guangyao where his brother doesn’t. owwwww.) most of all he shows he’s aware of the lives he’s responsible for and takes it extremely seriously. there is a... righteousness, I want to say? to him, behind all the grey morality stuff in the revenge plot. I guess there’s a reason he got along so well with wei wuxian haha.

- oh nie mingjue. oh my heart is breaking for him again and again, he tried so hard. he tried so hard to get away from his family’s terrible legacy and he was so young when he was forced to take it on and like huaisang says he did the best he could with what he was given and it’s so awful. all this guilt and pressure he was never responsible for creating but has to find a way to handle somehow. (the generational trauma metaphor when he was literally being beaten into the ground by the manifestation of their family’s history fsdalfsdjh (admittedly in the form of some frankly irredeemable CGI but y’know what the emotional metaphor still stands lol))

literally my only solace right now is that ultimately he might not have managed to break away from or question that dark legacy himself... but he essentially raised a person who could. because he loved his little brother for exactly who he was, even when that was something different from what he himself had been raised to value. hmngh. hnnnnnnnnng. no it’s okay it’s just raining on my face

- on a shallower note: nie mingjue with his hair down tho. O.O

- “Do I really have to watch you die in front of me before you stop?” THIS IS JUST PLAIN OLD CRUELTY!!! JUST STABBING ME IN THE HEART WITH A RUSTY BREADKNIFE REPEATEDLY WHAT THE F U C K

(it’s also nie huaisang making it clear to his brother that he sees and knows a lot more than he lets on and it’s devastating in every way)

- those poor nie guys helplessly watching what could easily have been the last remaining heir to lead their sect THROW HIMSELF OFF A CLIFF because he’s profoundly ride or die (or resurrect) for the people he cares about

- nie mingjue. openly crying. and apologizing to huaisang for making him practice with the saber. because he knows he’s dying and he doesn’t know any other way than what he was taught or how to leave his little brother better equipped for the eventual burden he’ll inherit. and he feels like he’s failed as a brother and as a son and as a clan leader. fhjkdshakjsfhasdflhkj

but you know what murders me more than all of that? the fact that this moment of vulnerability and ‘weakness’ from him is when huaisang actually becomes calmer and more secure. because what he’s really been afraid of this whole time is that his brother is already gone, lost to the saber madness, or that he really thought he was useless and cowardly and worthless. and here is the brother he loves and remembers, being present with him. so now he can focus his big brain and solve the puzzle. he was more scared of losing his brother than dying with him down there as long as they were together. HELP ME

- rip to this earnest handsome dualwielding nie dude doomed from the outset b/c he doesn’t appear in the main series. ur sacrifice was appreciated buddy

- I have a LOT of feelings about how clear it is that nie mingjue more or less raised his brother. there’s something about the sentiment of ‘no matter what you want to do with your life, as long as I’m alive I will love you and protect you’ that is so deeply parental. the way he was like ‘it’s okay, I’m here’ after he caught him from falling? same thing. (his voice is so sooooft right there) can’t explain it, but I sure as hell feel it. unconditional goddamn love huh

(and in their final scenes together, as he’s helping his brother stay upright, there’s the unavoidable implication that nhs is thinking ‘but I don’t know if I can protect you’. and in the end...)

...shit I’m crying a bit again don’t mind me

- everything to do with the flute makes jgy’s eventual fate all the more satisfying to think about. *me filming nhs pulling the longest and most devastating long con of vengeance for his brother on this piece of shit* you’re doing amazing sweetie

- NIE MINGJUE OVEREXTENDED HIMSELF TRYING TO PERFECTLY FIGURE OUT THE SABER TECHNIQUE SO HIS LITTLE BROTHER WOULD NEVER HAVE TO HURT LIKE THAT I AM WAILING

- anyway nhs gave his best friend the second chance at life and love he deserved and honored his brother’s memory by getting revenge on his murderer in the most meticulous and thorough way possible, bringing all the injustices that asshole had committed to light in the process, all without ever showing his hand, and I love him more than words can describe haha

#fatal journey spoilers #fatal journey #the untamed #mo dao zu shi #nie huaisang #nie brothers #nie mingjue

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eleanorfenyxwrites · 3 years

Note

i think that asks have more characters than a reply on the post so here we are lol

first: "Lan Xichen wouldn’t trade it for anything. He spares a moment to be actively grateful that he’ll never have to. He can do this every day now, after all. As often as they all want." this is like the cutest thing I've ever read they're in LOVE and SOFT and they DESERVE IT

second: the sort of therapy/treatment for lxc's time displacement is super cool! i like the way it acknowledges both sides and we get to see a little of this new, kinder reality :')

third: THAT ENDINGGGG AHHHHHHHHH YOU'RE GONNA KILL ME, WHAT THE HELL????? I love your sneaky, not totally good, not totally bad nhs and his not totally accidental terrible timing but I am SO SCARED about the next part you have officially put the fear of god in me that you warned about when I asked if nmj and my knew about the Stabbing, lxc is boutta qi deviate SO HARD

Ah yes hello, I was hoping to hear from you for your third reason specifically! To which I say: 😈😈😈

Lol but seriously, thank you so much for this, you’ve absolutely made my day! I was grinning like a moron the whole time I was reading, I’m so so happy you’re enjoying it ☺️

1. They’re so dang soft and I love writing them being gentle and in love, they absolutely deserve it. This whole AU is my love letter to them deserving a gentle life.

2. Thank you, I’m glad it works outside of my head! This whole time I’ve kind of been visualizing this as a spin-off of a wangxian fic that doesn’t actually exist except in my brain, so basically LWJ and WWX are offering ‘summaries’ of what they’ve already been through, if that makes sense? This is like. A companion fic/epilogue to a fic that doesn’t exist. I’m glad it seems to be working out okay 😅

3. YOU’RE NOT READY (😘) (also thank you for also appreciating my very morally grey NHS, I love him so much)

#ask #lemonsandgrapes #fic: after each midnight begins a new day

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kinghoranshit · 3 years

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Tell Me A Lie (NH) Ch 4

Word Count: 2,153

Warnings: swearing, anxiety

Six hours seemed to go by in a blink of an eye, and I felt like I was going to throw up as the plane came to a stop at the terminal and I had to get off.

I hauled my stuff with me and exited the plane, going through the terminal. I took more deep breaths, trying to control my nerves.

I shouldn’t have been shocked to see as many people swarming around as I did, and I saw my vision blur a bit as my anxiety kicked in. So, on top of the nausea, I felt great.

I was told to stay close to the gate, Niall and security would come get me. Hopefully it'll be soon. I felt like people were staring at me just standing there; probably had the look of being lost, which wasn’t necessarily far from the truth. I decided to take out my airpods and block out all the noises with music. The flow of it guided my heart rate to slow back to normal and I let out another heavy breath.

It’d be okay. Everything would be great.

There was a tap on my shoulder so I took out one of the pods, curious, and then someone whispered, “Lauren.”

My scream caught in my throat as I turned around in a jump. My reaction after turning around was to hit him in the arm. “Niall, not funny!”

He laughed, his eyes dancing. “I thought it was.”

Both of us looked at each other, smiling, and I sighed. “It’s great to finally see you in person again.”

“You too, Kelly.” He opened his arms for a hug and I accepted it. I couldn’t help myself from snuggling my face in his neck. He was just so soft and strong at the same time; humbled and still obviously so Irish.

“You’re not gonna cry are you?” Niall asked.

I scoffed with a small laugh, “No.”

He pulled back and it wasn’t hard to miss the small eye roll. “Come on.” He picked up my duffel from the floor. “I’m parked in one of the closer lots. It’s still gonna be crazy gettin’ out of er’.”

I couldn’t stop the look I gave him.

“What?” He laughed.

“Nothing,” I mumbled, laughing a little. “I didn’t expect you to drive us.”

He furrowed his brows now, and slightly scoffed, “Why not?”

I shrugged, then bit my lip. “You don’t seem like the best driver.”

“I’m loads good!”

When my eyes landed on the vehicle he started going towards, I rolled my eyes once again. Of course it was his black Range Rover. But the windows were tinted, so I assumed it was the safest option.

When I was a few steps from reaching the door, there was a flash and I couldn’t stop myself flinching and stepping back to catch my balance. Now, voices rushed.

“Lauren Kelly, right?”

“How’s it to be dating Niall Horan?”

“Where are you two at in your relationship?”

“Any wedding bells yet?”

“Have any major fights?”

The flashes continued and a tight wave flowed through my body as they closed in on me. I was confused how they managed to find us at this parking lot. It was a random spot hidden in the back. It was so under the radar.

A hand grabbed my wrist, yanking me forward, and I was pushed into the front passenger seat. I couldn’t rip my eye sight away from the security ushering the four paps and journalists away. After they’d done that, they nodded in our direction and Niall waved to them.

Once we were gone, Niall gave me an apologetic look. “I didn’t think they’d track us down here. But that’s what the security is for.”

I only nodded and folded my shaky hands together. I licked at my tingling lips.

Niall reached over to take one of my hands and kissed it. “You handled that so well, Lauren.”

To be honest, my mind was still fogged. That was more intense than I thought it would be. Oh my God.

I shook my head and cleared my throat. “I did not… I didn’t expect paps to be that intense. I’m fine.”

“I can’t promise that won’t happen again, but we’ll have security, and more than likely they’re gonna be the ones hired by Modest.”

“Perfect,” I retorted.

Today was meant to be a buffer day where he and I could hangout at his house. He had some studio work to do. I knew that my adhd and anxiety made things difficult, but that’s what the medications were for and I had my exercises.

Tomorrow would be our day out in public at Melrose, which I’d only been there once so it would be cool to go with Niall. The paps that Modest hired were supposed to snap us randomly over there.

We waited for this guard to open these massive gates that went into a development in Beverly Hills. This was not shocking to me, yet I felt out of place as Niall pulled through them. The buildings were definitely mansions and one of them was his. Holy shit.

“Will there be security at the house?” I asked, and that was for sure the dumbest question I’ve asked thus far.

“Oh, no, there's security at the gate. It’s a private community.”

I snorted. “Any of your neighbors famous?”

He laughed now. “All of them.”

“You fuckin posh prick,” I scoffed with a laugh.

The Range Rover came to a stop and I gasped. His house was absolutely stunning. A mixture of California and Victorian; white bricks, orange roofing, two pillars framed the front entrance, and a two door garage accented on the side. There was a lot more greenery than I anticipated as well; I wasn’t shocked by the palm trees he had out front.

“It’s really gorgeous, Niall,” I breathed.

He ran a hand through his tips a couple times, a laugh trailing after. “Wait until you see the inside. Less impressive.”

I rolled my eyes and didn’t say anything else as I stepped onto the concrete of the driveway. There was no way that it wasn’t just as nice inside. I pieced together that this wasn’t the home he spent the most time at when we stepped into the entrance; he probably did prefer his London home. The simple white walls and white marbled floor accented well with the greys, blues, and gold decor and furniture. I smiled at the framed golf photos and large canvas of an Ireland flag.

Niall cleared his throat as he rocked back and forth on his feet. “Uhm, as you can see the living room is here, bedrooms are upstairs… Feel free to pick whichever you’d like. The studio is in the basement which is where I’ll be for the remainder of today. Need anything else right now?”

I shot him a warm smile. “Thanks, Ni. I’m good for now.”

He leaned in to leave a kiss on my cheek. “Get comfy. I’ll see you later, Lauren.”

“Will do.” I laughed under my breath.

He disappeared down the second spiral staircase. I was back to being lost. I willed myself to go adventuring upstairs. There was an office with a sleek, glass desk that looked like it was never used; it was spotless clean though. The guest bedrooms all had their own attached bathrooms and that was where the extraness came from, otherwise it didn’t actually seem that large. Not like I’d imagined; Niall has always been a simple man.

The guest room closest to Niall’s room practically called my name so I plopped my duffel and backpack on the floor beside the bed. I sat down on the end and fell backward onto the soft cotton. My eyes found themselves having a hard time staying open, so I closed them for a bit.

Just a little bit…

***

I lightly groaned as I involuntarily stretched. My hand rubbed one eye as I sat up. Part of my hair had stuck to my cheek so I wiped it away behind my ear. It was clearly much later and I cursed under my breath. Despite the guilt of wasting time I could’ve used doing anything else, I did feel like a whole new person.

It was a nice nap I had to admit.

I grabbed the binder for Stone Cold, my pouch of pens and sticky notes, and airpods before I padded my way to the first floor. I’m sure there was a nook I could use to do some editing before we ate dinner, whenever that was. There was no way I would push Niall on a time.

Speaking of, there was a faint strumming that came from the basement. A flutter appeared in my chest hearing his sweet voice following it. This was an invasion of his privacy, even if I couldn’t make out the words. It wasn’t morally right to stand around.

The search for a spot to settle myself was back on. I finally found a small inset seating space under a window in the kitchen area; it was a beautiful navy velvet with a couple grey pillows. It was so comfortable, more than I could ever have predicted. It was my time to get invested in my own art and let the time slip by.

***

There was a muffled voice that didn’t match the music I was playing. As much as I wanted to keep going, I marked the paragraph I just finished and looked up. Niall’s tired, yet cheery, features filled my vision and I couldn’t stop the smile. I took out one of the airpods, which automatically paused the song, and cleared my throat.

“How’s the writing?”

He shrugged. “Not bad I think. Have you been here the whole time?”

“No.” I shook my head. “I actually fell asleep for a couple hours unintentionally.”

“The best kind of naps.” He laughed.

I bit my lip. “Yeah, and then I came here to edit. It’s a nice nook.”

He bit into the red apple he took from the bowl placed in the middle of the island and cheesed. “That it is… What should we do for dinner? We could go out, or get something to eat here.”

I thought about it. If we went out, I probably should change into a more put together outfit that didn’t reek of travel. That didn’t seem the slightest bit appealing to be honest. We had the rest of the trip to eat out.

“Do you mind eating in tonight?”

“Of course not. There’s this amazing Thai place not too far that delivers if you’ve got no objections.”

I smirked and shook my head as I stood. “Nope, Thai sounds wonderful.”

Within twenty minutes, the two of us were sprawled on the black suede L Couch in the living room with our own entrees and pot stickers. I used the chopsticks to bring some noodles and a piece of broccoli to my mouth. We had the first season of Stranger Things going and I tensed at the sight of Eleven using all her strength on the monster. I hadn’t realized I held my breath until that thing and she were gone.

I ate more of my Thai now, switching my focus to Niall who’d wiggled his way to lay his upper half across my lap at the beginning of the episode. I didn’t mind his weight though, it was more comforting than anything; even if the pressure on my pelvic area did emulate the sensation of needing to pee.

“That part gets me every time,” I stated. “She’s so badass.”

“I agree,” he remarked and reached over for another pot sticker from the coffee table.

“Get me one?”

He raised his brows momentarily before breaking out a smile and reached again, then handed it to me.

I cheesed. “You’re the best. This was really good. I might be addicted.”

“Don’t even get me started,” he scoffed with a laugh. “I get it every time I’m in LA.”

“Was the choice to eat out or in going to lead to this place no matter what?” I narrowed my eyes playfully.

“Maybe,” he mumbled, crossing his arms, and Niall made himself more comfortable; his eyes closed even.

I shook my head. “Such a dork.”

A small smile spread on his lips. He didn’t say anything else, and it didn’t take me long for me to catch on that he’d fallen asleep by the slow rise of his chest and soft snores. Netflix rolled into the second season of Stranger Things. I laid my head back, and found my fingers running through the tips of his hair.

Part of me realized that this should be more weird than it is, and the other part of me found calm happiness in it. It was okay for friends to do this sort of thing; platonic snuggles were normal.

Eventually, I drifted off too.

Next: Ch 5

[Masterlist]

#Niall Horan #Niall Horan fic #NH #NH fic #drama #comedy #romance #fanfiction #fic #Niall Horan fanfiction #NH fanfiction #Tell Me A Lie #Ch 4

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englishbunnyrocks · 3 years

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fashion designer nhs would be so amazing ;; i would probably love his every collection haha. and i wouldn't mind if nmj got to keep his life too :'D can't we find a new way to allow jgy his schemes so that the story comes to an end either way? and oh, this question is easy! i'll say jin guangshan :'D than man absolutely did not deserve his life, he just fucked and fucked over too many ppl. how about you? and who would you forgive their sins if you could choose? enjoy your evening ^^ - 🌙

Okay, I typed out your letter and lost it again to the refreshing page. I’m starting to lose my mind. 😆😭

I always imagine NHS in the modern days as famous, maybe INSTA famous or on something other social media site (I don’t know what sites are there 😅) He’d look funny wearing his flower embroided shirts next to his very jock brother but he’d be too fabulous to care.

JGY can go. He won’t be missed. Right! JGS and WRH are the two most horrible people of the story. They are evil, only to be evil. I feel WRH is so bad I actually catch myself feeling... kind of bad for Wen Chao and all of his issues. Still hate him, but I kind of pity him too.

That’s a very heavy question wow! I think many would disagree with me but I’d forgive Wen Zhuliu. I like his character a lot (I call him Julio with affection). He’s morally grey, kind of, extremely dedicated and loyal. He knows what he is doing, though that probably makes his sins even worse because he does know what is right and what is wrong. But I just find him interesting for it. If he would have ended up with any other clan (okay, not the Jins), he would have been a great, respectable and just character. I many times dream about him being one of Mingjue’s men - he would have shined in the Nie clan. I know, I’m biased. Oh! And if we’re looking for a lighter one, Jin Zixuan. He had a very nice character development, I’m proud of him!

What about you?

Have a nice evening, Moon Nonny! ❤️

#Anonymous #mdzsnetcc

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koholinthibiscus · 4 years

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My Tumblr Journey and mental health

What the hell is this? Where am I? What do I do and how do I do it?

You often hear of people getting to their 30′s and feeling more comfortable in their skin and just owning, accepting and loving themselves. Well, maybe it’s because I need psychotherapy, and maybe it’s because I’ve come into adulthood in a period with huge economic and political upheaval as well as a pandemic; but I don’t feel that way. I feel simultaneously old and young. clueless about young things (like tmblr) and clueless about old things (like mortgages... even though I have one)

I’ve deleted Facebook and use twitter sparingly these days so the reason joined this site is to purely vent. To write my thoughts out and send them into the internet ether to languish, probably ignored. But just getting it out might make all the difference to my physical and mental well being so I’m just going to give it a shot and see where things go.

I feel terribly alone and isolated. I have a type of social anxiety that you probably wouldn't notice. You might just think I’m an idiot or a bitch. You might barely acknowledge my existence. I’m pretty average so I may not register. But when I’m done talking I will think and think and think about it. How did I come across? why the fuck did I say that? You think I’m a fucking idiot don’t you? I will simply torture myself forever and ever. And I avoid social interaction, especially with new people, as much as I can. I can just about manage in a workplace setting but all my energy for this is taken up with that.

I feel unheard, unseen and unsatisfied. I feel a lump in my throat and a weight in my chest. I feel exhausted and headachey most of the time. I can’t bear this current situation. I have a visceral hate for my country. I can’t bear sad news. I can’t cope with news that implicates humans as ignorant, unsympathetic, inhumane creatures. I feel deep sadness at the existential threat our planet faces and confusion and sadness when I realise that barely anyone in my real life feels the same urgency and guilt. I have changed my lifestyle (probably not enough) to try and alleviate the guilt but it hasn’t worked.

So I get into things to try and distract myself; fandoms, stories, subjects, video games, novels and I feel sad about it because I feel useless “not good at it” or that they’re a waste of time. I hate myself so much that my hobbies make me sad. How stupid is that? I’ve recently been getting into DnD during lock down and watching critical role. I enjoy it but it makes me sooooo sad and jealous that I don’t have a strong friend group like that who can enjoy playing DnD with the same level of fun, ease and camaraderie. It literally hurts my heart and I’ve been feeling weird for days. So I’ve tried to make myself better by consuming things. I’ve bought a new set of dice and bought some unrelated books.

I skip from one subject or thing to the next feeling unsatisfied and discontent. I don’t practice things, I don’t finish things. I give up. And I feel like I’m giving up at life. I am lazy and stupid. My hobbies, likes and interests feel like a plaster over a gaping wound and was working but it’s not any more. Getting lost in a fantasy world just makes me feel sad I can’t create my own or be with a group of friends, either on line or on person where I can create together.

I am petrified of parent hood. I have an amazing 3 year old. She is a marvel. But I have a constant dread of failing her. Doing too much, doing too little. I want her to strive for happiness. Take on hard things, work at things till she’s good at them, whatever it may be. I honestly don’t care what as long as she enjoys it, has a passion for it and is ultimately happy. I want to push her, but I don’t want to push her too much. I worry about sending wrong messages. I worry about not doing enough with her. I do not want to bring her up the way that my mother brought me up. I am terrified of repeating the same mistakes.

I’m ultimately a kind person who is trying their best but can’t unleash my true potential due to depression, anxiety and self-confidence issues. I get so angry and sad at people who don’t follow the same ideals as me. which.... isn’t ideal. I can’t stand TERFs, racists, ableists, misogynists, right wing people, climate change deniers, ignorant people. I can’t stand it when people think that poor people only have themselves to blame. I hate capitalism and colonialism. I want to change the way the world operates even if it is to my detriment as a white CIS English women living in comfort. I feel trapped in suburbia where nothing changes and no one looks or is different.

I don’t mean to fetishize certain communities with that statement and I reliaze that it’s probably ignorant of me to suggest that everyone is the same too, given that I struggle to interact with people. And I’m not suggesting that I’m some sort of special flower or that ‘I’m not like other women’ (eeww) either, I know there are people out there I would probably get on with but like I say, I struggle.

It frustrates me when people don’t feel the same way politically. I think that people’s politics are based on their morals so I struggle with conservatives for example. I don’t understand them or where they come from. I want things that people need to be owned by the public and free at the point of access, healthcare being the main one and I fear for the future of the NHS. Yes, even if it means higher taxes (but I obviously want the super rich taxed more) I don’t believe billionaires should exist. I want universal basic income. If the human race keeps breeding, if we keep suffering from pandemics, if we progress technologically to the point where mechanization is even more prevalent, we will not need people to have jobs. We need UBI to level the playing field. And I want a vegan world. All of the above makes my head swim with anger and despair. What type of world will my child have to endure when she gets to my age? I fucking hope it’s better than this. I can honestly say that I believe I am on the right side of history with my politics. It is ultimately about being kind and humane. But no... I’m probably seen as a soft SJW snowflake keyboard warrior twat by my family (which is why I went off facebook). Even though I have a masters in Gender studies and a career in social justice work, but sure, I’m just after the ‘internet points’ or want to look ‘woke’. I feel like not many people truly know me and if they do know all of the above and don’t like what they see, I don’t know man, that kills me. I want people to think well of me. I want people to think I am a good person.

I could yap on for ages about this honestly but it would make little sense.

I think I wanted to start this as a place to get my feelings down because I am starting a journey of therapy soon. My sessions should begin in September but I feel the need to get stuff out now. I’m having a bit of a shit time in my head right now and I felt like I would burst.

I’m already worried that I will appear stupid and self centered. There is nothing particularly wrong with my life. I have a good job that I love but am also petrified of it and of getting it wrong so I self sabotage, worry and don’t believe in my abilities and I’ve been doing that since college. (I need to un pack how I feel about work and my actions around it, I have a lot of thoughts, maybe for another time)

I pick the spots on my face till they become angry red welts, I pick the skin around my nails till they get infected and then I hate myself for how I look, even though it was my fault in the first place. I don’t shower, don’t wash my face, don’t get enough sleep then look in the mirror and see my greasy lank hair, baggy grey eyes and bad skin and I just hate myself. Is this an analogy for the entirety of my personality? I am my own worst enemy and I need to give myself a fucking break. Easier said than done.

Things to unpack in therapy:

My work

My politics and how I interact, deal with people who don’t feel the same way as me

My child hood and family dynamics - It’s fucked up y’all.

My Child

My husband

My past relationship

The sick thing I do at night when i think about horrible things, like the death of my child for no god damn reason. (Is it punishment?)

It’s frustrating being so aware of my issues and not feeling able to do anything about it.

It’s probably an effect of lock down but I have been feeling really bad consistently for a very long period of time now and it’s exhausting. I always have peaks and troughs, feel great to OK for sometimes a good few months then it just comes down on me like a bag of hammers and I feel like death for 2-4 weeks.

I’ve been having those hiccups more often and for longer. I’m so fucking tired man. A couple of months ago a I had a terrible headache for 4 days, could barely move and felt tearful all the time. I just thought it was a migraine attack at the time (which I very very rarely have) but I coincided with a particular event that I’m not ready to talk about (It’s really not that juicy it’s quite fucking pathetic actually) and I think it was a major depressive episode.

I think I’m done now, I’m emotionally exhausted after reading this through and my throat hurts from trying not to cry. Maybe this is the start of my tumblr journey maybe I’ll delete it all in a few days I don’t know. I had to try something.

#mentalhealth depresson anxiety tumblrnovice isthishowhastgaswork?

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