#try to be kind to yourself

[carladuquette]

I’ve been meaning to write this, and I have also been avoiding to write this, because it’s kind of embarrassing. But here it goes.

On Tuesday, I cried in my ED counselor’s office (this is NOT the embarrassing part!).  I was upset that I had already been doing better and I am now doing worse. Feels like I took a step or three backwards. And I was also worried that she was going to be disappointed in me because I hadn’t managed to hang on to what we talked about in earlier sessions. Here’s what she told me. Ready?

Healing is not a straight line.

If you know me as the Close your eyes writer, you know why me having to be told this is funny/embarrassing. If not I’ll get there in a sec. But that’s what she said to me. She even drew it on a piece of paper, going “healing doesn’t look like this“ (draws a straight line upwards), “but like this” (draws a wavy up-and-down line). 

The thing is: I literally wrote about this very sentiment for more than 2.5 years. I wrote a long (looong) fanfiction, about a character trying to heal from trauma and this, healing is not a straight line, was something she had to learn again and again over the course of the story. Because I wrote that for her! I don’t know how many times I’ve used the exact words my counselor used talking to readers in the comments. And yet I have difficulty applying it to my own life. Wild how something can make so much sense for another person and yet you cannot show yourself the same grace.

And to come back to the crying - I tried to hold my tears in and didn’t full-on sob, which was quite the effort. My counselor told me to let it all out. Which I couldn’t do and kind of regret, because my plan to just swallow it down in the moment  and let it out at home didn’t work. Once I’d made it home, I couldn’t cry anymore and I think it would’ve done me good. I literally wrote a scene in my fic where the protagonist hides her face in her hands, so her therapist doesn’t see her tears. And the therapist tells her that she shouldn’t waste her energy on trying not to cry or to hide it, that it’s OK to let it all out 🙃

TL;DR: Healing is not a straight line. It’s just not. You will do better, and then you will do worse and then you will do better again. It sucks when you’re in one of the valleys on that wavy line, but you’ll go up again too. (Trying hard to hang on to that rn.)

Cry in therapy! It’s OK. 

#ed recovery #this week has been a lot #when she was drawing the lines i was like damn i know this why did i need to hear it again #healing #it’s not a straight line! #try to be kind to yourself

[thyming]

Moodboard for the name ,,Mariela" ♡

(Pics from Pinterest, gif from Insta)

#be kind to yourself. 🧸 #i love you! 🩷🍃 #i am such a sucker for crystals #so i try to find a pretty gif for all of the moodboards i make😭😭 #cottagecore #cottageblr #cottage core #cottage aesthetic #cottagecore aesthetic #grandmacore #farmcore #nature #naturecore #purple cottacecore #fairycore #faery core #fairy aesthetic

[poorly-drawn-mdzs]

Assisting Acquaintance Acquired.

[First] Prev <–-> Next

#poorly drawn mdzs #mdzs #wen ning #wei wuxian #Ignore how Wen Ning's hair looks here because I messed it up. Let's pretend he just sported a different hair style for a brief moment. #I am not exactly great at consistency but I am trying very hard to work on that (immediately messes up again). #Absolutely *love* how Wen Ning clearly remembers and admires WWX...who does *not* recognize him. #This is the best day for Wen Ning and it means *nothing* to WWX. A painful one-sided crush made worse. #It is bittersweet to realize that we care about someone more than they care about us. Sometime we pour love into a relationship- #-with someone who just can't reciprocate. It isn't always a conscious things either. Some people just aren't aware we care. #And painfully - so painfully - You can't make them aware. No act of kindness or gift or self sacrifice will make someone care about you. #You can martyr yourself for someone and they will continue on unchanged. #I think a lot about the parallels between WN and LWJ. Not foils - just reflections. A theme repeated. #People who give so much of themselves to someone who doesn't have the capacity to give any part of themself away. #I will die on the hill of 'Wen Ning would be the love triangle romance if that trope wasn't being avoided'. #And to be honest - thank the stars above that is the case. I do not know any good love triangles in media. #We are skipping some of the sad Jiang Cheng content because I really want to finish season 2 before May. #Sorry JC emo moment lovers...I'll deliver another time.

[adainesfuriousgun]

I haven’t seen nearly enough people talking about Siobhan telling Freeze that he’s “a valid response, just not right now.”

It’s truly ALL I can think about.

Because hoo boy. As a motherfucker in treatment for Complex-PTSD, l am constantly wrestling with my freeze response, and that shit made me ugly cry.

#dimension 20 #mentopolis #siobhan thompson #all of the shit with freeze has been handled so well #because yes #freeze is an infuriating response to deal with #in moments of stress and trauma #but you also have to remember that it’s a part of you #that is trying its very best to protect you #and you have to be kind to that part of yourself #even when you don’t want to be kind at all

[enii]

Today, I did everything for myself💕

#illustration #artists on tumblr #cute #artoftheday #digital illustration #wholesome #today #today i did everything for myself #trying my hardest #trying my best #prioritize your peace #prioritize your mental health #make yourself a priority #please be gentle with yourself #please be kind to yourself #in the process of healing #healing illustrations #self healing #we are all healing #i peeled my own orange #sweet art #loved #procreate #procreate art #art #artist #artist on tumblr #artist of tumblr #mental health awareness #emotional healing

[wowa-bublord]

Does Cloud ever confront Zack about all the neglect he subjected himself to in favor of taking care of Cloud?

I think It'd be one of his first thoughts when he's awake again!

initially I think he'd just think Zack was being a bit silly, and that he'd focus more on himself now that Cloud wasn't completely reliant on him. After a few weeks(?) he'd realize how much Zack prioritizes Cloud over himself, and he'd try to be more forceful with it

....but neither of them are very good with their words, so it gets worse before it gets better.

#cloud: When I see you struggling it's upsetting so I want you to take care of yourself better #Zack: When I show I'm struggling it makes people sad so I should try and show it less #zakkura #clack #cloud strife fanart #zack fair fanart #zack fair ffvii #cloud strife ffvii #zack lives au #my art #FOR SOME REASON i feel kind of shy about this comic JDHGFHDJ pray for me not deleting it in two hours

[tastyflowers]

this longest night I hope you are warm and cosy. I hope you are well fed. I hope you have a soft blanket and a fire (or at least a candle). I hope you can reflect on this year with compassion and look to the next with hope. I hope you can rest in the darkness and feel the sun on your face very soon. The light is coming back, we will make it through!

#happy winter solstice friends #be kind to yourself #i have some lovely rituals prepared for the evening #trying my best to lean into this time of rest and recovery and gentleness #and not get swepped up in the busyness that this time of year has inexplicably become #winter solstice #yule #solstice #moss.txt

[uncanny-tranny]

Every time you think, "Oh, I don't have [x condition], I'm basically cured!" that is the devil talking. You aren't cured, you are likely going through periods of your symptoms waning. Don't cease whatever you're doing to help yourself, like medication, for instance, because it's likely you still have the conditions or symptoms, even if you aren't noticing them as frequently or severely.

#disability #this is a callout post about myself #i genuinely thought my GAD was cured because my symtoms had lessened significantly since i've transitioned #turns out my anxiety is just as killer and awful - it's just muted slightly #i am currently laying down with my brain convinced that i'm About To Have a Heart Attack #(and not in the fun demi lovato kind of way) #(that song is a little over a decade old... what the bingle) #anyway please don't do what i do whenever i experience ANY level of symptoms getting better because it will shock you... #...when those symptoms come back and remind you that you Do Indeed have [x condition] #i now know how a wolf girl feels when they say they are Actually Feral because that's how i feel rn 💀 #even I'M not immune to the idea that the things i suffer from are things that can Disappear Magically 😭 #it's wishful thinking and almost like... imposter syndrome because you're *so* desperate to prove to yourself you're Fine or A Faker #and you become hyperfixated on picking every tiny little waxing and waning of symptoms like you're a fortune teller #and honestly it's really stiffling and it's a lot of work to kill the cop in your head that says you are secretly Not All That Affected... #...that you're either exaggerating to the Extreme or you're just a bored faker who's trying to Get Attention (bad somehow)

[cerise-on-top]

Hugging, Kissing and Cuddling HCs for König

I'm trying to see him in another light again after everything I've seen about him, so I decided I'd write something fluffy and nice for him. And then came the realization I never wrote some HCs like these for him in my original posts, so I decided I'd change that! He's Austrian, so naturally I have to love him!

When it comes to hugging someone, König is a bit hesitant. Considering he’s not the most physically affectionate person out there, it’s almost an honor to be receiving an unprompted hug from him. Whether his hugs are long or short depends on the occasion: If he’s proud of you for accomplishing something, then the hug will be rather short lived. Though, he might pick you up and spin you around until you’re dizzy. If you’re sad and need some comfort then his hugs could last a while. He’s not the best with words, he prefers to listen to other people, but if he knows a hug is what usually helps you then he’s willing to do so. Despite being a big and strong lad his hugs are surprisingly gentle, he’s worried about crushing you. He could put his all into them, but then you’d likely end up with a few broken ribs and he doesn’t want that to happen. König is also surprisingly warm, so receiving a hug from him is a rare, but nice experience. Although he does go rigid at the beginning, not knowing what to do, but relaxes into the hug eventually.

Again, he’s not a very physically affectionate person, but isn’t opposed to the occasional peck on the cheek or on your lips either. There is some anxiety whether you’d actually want a kiss from him or not, so he doesn’t kiss you very often, even if you do reassure him that it’s quite alright. He’s a bit tense at first when he presses a kiss to your lips, but calms down eventually. It’s especially bad during the beginning of your relationship, but he’s since gotten better at being calm about it. Since there’s a good chance he’s taller than you he loves giving you a kiss on the forehead. It’s a small but sweet gesture. He doesn’t need to bend down entirely to reach you but he still gets to be affectionate with you. However, if you’re on the taller side, or just as tall as he is, then he’d love to receive kisses to his temple from you. It makes him smile every time you do it. If he’s in the mood for receiving a kiss then he’ll lay his head on your shoulder and nudge you a bit. Or try to get his head in your closer vicinity. Kind of like that one bunny video where the bunny stretches to receive some kisses.

Cuddles with him are a bit more common than hugs actually. However, he refuses to lay down on top of you. If you’re shorter and weaker than him then there’s no chance he’ll put his weight on you, he’s just that afraid of hurting you. If you’re taller or just more muscular, then he might, but he’s still a rather heavy lad. Most he’ll do is put his head on your shoulder while you’re cuddling in bed and are both lying down. Although it’d be a lie to say he doesn’t want to be held. König is alright with being the one to hold you, but sometimes he would prefer to be the little spoon as well. That urge gets especially bad if you’re roughly the same size as him. Sometimes just nuzzling into your chest does the trick for him as well, though. Loves it when you run your fingers through his hair as he does so. Another thing he adores is you sleeping on his chest as he holds you. He gets to hold you close, he gets to protect you and he gets to doze off a bit himself, it’s bliss to him. Sometimes he leans down to press a kiss to your head and accidentally wakes you up like that. He feels bad about it and apologizes profusely, but does chuckle a bit when he sees your disheveled hair and your tired expression that shows you just woke up.

#cod #cod x reader #konig #könig #konig x reader #könig x reader #he actually kind of scares me these days even if I don't want that to happen in the slightest so I'm trying to desensitize myself again #I know people always joke about fanon könig vs canon könig but I think I will write him a bit softer with his s/o again #just to combat all those awful things I've seen about him that I don't want to be true and that I also want to forget about #könig is a big lad so I knew from the beginning I wanted him to be good at hugging because this is self indulgent #I feel like if it weren't for his anxiety he'd be much much cuddlier #because that's the case with me even if I have other things going on as well #and what is a funny character you write about if not another piece of yourself? #I've put so much of myself into some of these characters and yet people keep requesting them so I must be doing something right #it's more fun that way as well when you put your characters through something you've gone through. more relatable too #but I think that's something pretty much every writer does. that's why some requests are so difficult to write #I got one about marrying Laswell and Nikolai and that was a difficult request for me because the last wedding I went to #was my parents' and that was almost 18 years ago. man time flies I was 4 years old back then #so naturally I don't remember much either. But I tried and that's what's important! #either way please enjoy this piece of fluff I wrote today!

[crabussy]

IS ANYONE ELSE FEELING KIND TODAY!!! IS ANYONE ELSE FEELING GENEROUS TOWARDS OTHER PEOPLE!!! IS ANYBODY ELSE BEING KIND AND TRYING TO UNDERSTAND EVEN WHEN ITS HARD!!! IS ANYONE ELSE ASSUMING THE BEST OF OTHERS INTENTIONS AND RESPONDING IN KIND!!!! CAN ANYONE HEAR ME

#having a day ^_^ #I love being kind I just wish other people loved being kind more #people on the internet are SO FUCKING MEAN TO EACH OTHER???? its a terrible phenomenon #I have never seen people in real life treat others badly with the horrifying proportion of hate I see online #please. try to be kinder try to be more patient even when its frustrating #I have changed minds and deescalated arguments SO many times by being kind. #if someone is spouting misinfo in a furious rage and they're saying hurtful things? try responding with patience and kindness #even when you don't feel they deserve it. because one of 2 things usually happens #EITHER. they immediately shift their tone because you're talking to them like an equal and not an idiot #OR they continue to be horrible and it makes them look really nasty. its not a good look!! most people won't do the second thing!! #hateful online arguments has turned my mental health into a disgusting stew in the past #since I started being kind out of sheer frustration my mental health has improved a thousandfold #listen. sometimes its okay to be mean. if someone tells you to kill yourself I dont think its appropriate to give them patience and kindnes #BUT. if you treat someone like they're stupid. even if you're right!!! they won't listen to you or consider your words!! #because admitting you're right means admitting that they're stupid like you think they are. that feels bad so people won't do it #my wisdom. today I am so tired

[thyming]

My lovely baby. ♡

#be kind to yourself. 🧸 #i love you! 🩷🍃 #imma try again to come back to this account #i am so sorry #i keep trying but end up in an hiatus #cottagecore #mine #kitty #cat #cottageblr #cottage core #cottage aesthetic #cottagecore aesthetic #grandmacore #farmcore #nature #naturecore

[vaguely-concerned]

Thinking about the symbolic weight of smoking in the TLT universe that comes to the fore in The Unwanted Guest -- the way it moves through from person to person: Pyrrha smoked, and Augustine wanted to impress her in all her stone cold fox MILF James Bond glory (and tbf who wouldn't) so he started too. and even though as far as he knows she's been gone for a myriad and is never coming back, he keeps the habit. Ianthe sees something in the hollowed-out Faberge eggshell of Augustine that resonates with her, all that gilded eloquent emptiness and disdain through the ages, so she picked it up from him to try to emulate it. She picked it up so hard that Palamedes -- the exact spiritual antithesis of the 'smoking! on a space station! what a powermove' ennui Ianthe so admired -- spontaneously unnerded enough to even known how to, simply from a sort of contact contamination of the soul.

G1deon and Augustine sharing a jittery smoke after their near-Harrow experience during soup night, and it's the closest thing to any real sense of brotherhood that remains between them. Pyrrha going ten thousand years dying both literally and for a smoke (and then Camilla sold her fucking cigarettes (for a third of what they were worth, probably Pyrrha's own good, and also more importantly grocery money). what an entirely haunted time to be alive etc.). Augustine and Mercy trading a cigarette back and forth in the middle of their collusion over the love and murder of god.

An act of small and measured self-destruction in the name of something a little bit like connection when you're stuck somewhere in yourself where love itself dares not or cannot tread (ritualized, transmissible)..........

#the unwanted guest #the unwanted guest spoilers #the locked tomb #ianthe tridentarius #augustine the first #pyrrha dve #palamedes sextus #this series is going to make me lose my mind completely one day (affectionate) #the locked tomb meta #the fact that ianthe seems to have had some genuine admiration for augustine makes my head spin. of course though. #of course she sees the person who looks the most like he's successfully made himself impervious to the world #utterly untouchable and impossible to hurt because he isn't even really there #and she believes it! even after seeing the john mercy augustine mess at the end! because it's such a seductive idea #when you've stuck yourself in an inevitable ocean of pain to think you could make yourself numb enough that it doesn't matter #it's the emotional equivalent of 'oh there's water all around? well I just won't breathe in then. easy lmao get on my level' #she holds on to that thing from him even when it's been proved to be both impossible and ultimately untrue even in him #because uh. oh I'm about to be kind of sad for ianthe what the fuck is going on. he might actually have been the closest thing #to parental and especially paternal affection she's ever known. certainly known enough to try to model herself after #IMAGINE how fucked up the nine houses must be when augustine the first registers for anyone as a model of psychological survival #ianthe do you really want to be yourself completely so much that you're willing to be nothing. I mean yeah probably but. oh my god #gaining nothing at the cost of everything

[little-pup-pip]

Hi!

I don't know how much fandom stuff you make, outside of requests, but if you ever have time, could you please make a fnaf puppet-inspired moodboard? None of mine look very good and yours are a lot cooler :)

Here you go!!

#Fnaf #puppet #!!! #i appreciate the kind words anon #however #whatever you've made before is perfect because you made it!! #i don't think my first moodboards are very good #but they're important to me #because they allowed me to figure out the basics of moodboards! #so try not to be too hard on yourself anon! #anyway i hope you like it #sfw interaction only #moodboard #sfw agere #age regression #agere #sfw littlespace #agere moodboard #age dreaming #fnaf puppet #five nights at freddy's

[shyghosties]

#ferns are so lovely! #try to be kind to yourself too you are important!! #gif #original art #bunny #plants

[sandinmybed]

can i be fr for a minute?? sending abuse to people online for holding different views than you is not activism and in fact actively hurts your cause. most people are not extreme in their viewpoints, you can give them a new perspective if you're willing to spend some time explaining shit. if someone is saying something you disagree with and you rush in there to condescend to them and call them disgusting and subhuman and dont even TRY to explain calmly why their views are harmful, they're going to shut you out instantly and double down on their views.

most people are simply genuinely ignorant to the issues they're talking about - they just pick their views up from the news and the world around them and express opinions because that's what every person does. if you run in there and tell them they're scum for it, what then? if someone does that to you, are you going to think "maybe i should do some research" or are you going to think "this person is an asshole, im blocking them." a lot of you think you're activists and then refuse to do any kind of actual WORK to support your cause.

#this is not about the isr*el thing even tho thats obviously a huge issue rn #its just a pattern ive observed online #im not saying you have to be kind to people who oppress you dont twist my words #but if youre trying to support any cause and you think calling people names is going to help #youre a fucking idiot lol #people call themelves activists and pro-X cause because they called their opposition dirty c*nts online #how the hell is that meant to help anyone? theyre just going to retreat into their propaganda chambers because you proved what the leaders #of those spaces have been telling them #you can obvs block people if you dont want to deal w them but thats a neutral action. sending abuse harms ur cause. #text #like educating ignorant people is hard work! yeah! its also the entire fucking point of activisim #and if you think its too much effort then just stop pretending you give a shit tbh #like my parents managed to change our neighbour's very xenophobic stance on migrants with a calm conversation #some people will listen and some wont and shes not exactly going out to protests for migrants rights but shes not hostile anymore #and a lot of yall think that isnt good enough but let me tell you it IS good because these things take time! #unlearning things is MUCH harder than learning them in the first place and a lot of people grew up in environments that taught them #very discriminatory and conservative views and its actually not their fault. and its hard to educate yourself differently on something you #have no idea is not true. where do you start w that?

[uncanny-tranny]

Niche politics tip: If you start dissociating from politics so much it starts feeling like each side is akin to a football team or a game, you might need to take a step back in order to recuperate.

When you're so caught up in politics that you need to dissociate from the humanity of it in order to engage with politics, that's not a good sign. It's especially not a good sign when we are talking about human rights

#politics #it's especially weird when people treat your human rights as a game to 'win' regardless of how it affects you #there have been so many trans allies i've come across who treat trans rights as a game or a bargaining chip. and that's. kind of scary #this doesn't solely apply to trans rights but it's something i've encountered before #but i think a lot of people are so... desensitized? unaffected by horrible things that they genuinely dissociate from it #that's not a good thing though i think #in the long run it's for the best if you try avoiding this defense mechanism as much as possible... #...you are not the spawn of satan for stepping back to ground yourself back to earth... #...have you ever been on a plane where they tell you that in the event the plane goes down you put YOUR oxygen mask on first?... #...it's a similar principle when applied to politics... #...how exactly ARE you going to help like you want to and how others need when you are ground into dust? #and no this isn't 'be complicite!!!!' if people read it like that... #...this post is saying 'do not view people as a game to win because you are so desensitized to the horror around you'...