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countessofwisdom · 10 months
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I Don't Think It Could Ever Be You
TGCF (Heaven Official's Blessing) Spoilers
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A post-Black Water Arc conversation. Angst. Little to no plot, just a scene. (WC: 852)
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Shi Qingxuan never meets his eyes. "I just think... whatever affections I held for you all those centuries, it died that day."
His eyes narrow. "Your 'affections' then, must have been so fickle."
"Maybe it was," he replies too quickly, remiss of the knife he has grazed on someone's skin, "or maybe I just realized that day that I didn't know who these affections belonged to."
Shi Qingxuan has always treated the word love like a word meant to be given, or it is human nature to say 'I love you'. He gave it to his brother, his drinking buddies, to lost souls, and helpless devotees.
He also remembers giving them to a certain god.
"...maybe it's not fickle. Perhaps, I still hold these affections. Not towards you, but the man you pretended to be."
His fist clenches. "Ming Yi is long dead."
"But you revived him, didn't you? You took his name, his appearance, and you stepped on the heavenly capital wearing his shoes. The footprints you left were his," his words seeped with contained venom. Yet, a sliver shows crumbling composure—revealing a tiny child within that wailed and thrashed, begging for his brother back.
You took my name, my fate, and you might as well have ripped my limbs off my body. My fate is not yours, it is mine, he once yelled to a statue a million years ago.
An uncomfortable sense of dread creeps up and He Xuan does not know if it is a mutual feeling. Shi Qingxuan's eyes are devoid of the light it once had, unwilling to tell. Every word created invisible rifts and insurmountable walls between them.
Suddenly, he does not want to know, for something tells him that it is not.
"It was just a name," is the response he settles for.
It was just some clothes. It was just a face. It was just some mannerisms he borrowed.
But it has always been him.
Especially, when all Shi Qingxuan sees in him are truths he wishes he could turn a blind eye to.
Shi Qingxuan shakes his head. "It was Ming-xiong who I saw all these years, I just... I don't… even if I know it's you now, it doesn't erase his name from my memories. Even more, I can't replace his name with yours just like that. Especially…"
His throat yearns for the bitterness of wine whenever he thinks of him. He wants the dizziness and dopamine, if that is all the reprieve he is going to get. Ming-xiong could have been his drinking companion but he was dead, and He Xuan was a stranger who murdered the only person he could lean on.
No matter what, Ming Yi (the one he knew, at least) and He Xuan are oil and water. It tears him into a million pieces to see their silhouettes settle in on a single shadow. He wants to pretend that, somehow, all those years, his affections were received by a person he knew, and not the person he thought he knew.
Black Water then continues against his better mind, "Then if I had told you my real name that day we met, and If I told you who I really was, would it have been…" possible?
Could you have chosen me?
No, his mind quickly reprimands him. He would never choose you.
But at least, he hoped, that even if he didn't choose him in the end, Shi Qingxuan would have hesitated not choosing him for one second. For even a split second, he was his choice.
But the deafening silence that follows tells him a plethora of things he wishes he could cover his ears to.
It told him of Shi Qingxuan's hesitance; maybe he found his question ridiculous (it truly was), maybe he is already cursing him to death, plotting his vengeance. That would have been better. But gods, Shi Qingxuan chooses to bear the guilt of his brother's sin and he hates it.
The silence resettled him to the world they roamed. The rushing river holds memories of pasts that could not be reversed. The wind fluttering along with his hair ever so gently sends shivers down his spine. It reminds him of the reality he has to face.
Everything is real.
He really killed Shi Qingxuan's brother/The Water Tyrant and he does not regret it.
Or does he?
He does not, doesn't he? How could he regret it?
He is hurting. At the same time, he has never been so relieved, like a thousand voices inside his head finally went silent.
Fury drove him into doing what he did, fury sparked by the death of his family and his humanity that demanded justice, but he also did it to alleviate pain—to make living bearable. He thought the pain would dissipate as easily as taking a god's life.
…he doesn't know what's right or wrong anymore.
After what seemed like a million years, Shi Qingxuan speaks.
"He Xuan..."
This first time he says death's name.
"I'm sorry…"
And the last heartbreak he gives him.
"I don't think it could ever be you."
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ysanels · 10 months
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this was originally for venti's bday (;・∀・)
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jeniidrawsshit · 2 years
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An unfinished sketch of our boy Kurt as a German knight for SIRptember
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larz-barz · 7 months
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Musical talent
Kimetsu academy au
band kid Milo au
featuring @sakurasunkiss’s oc!!
enjoy @sakurasunkiss!!<333
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“Hey, Milo? Y’know what would be really fun?” Sakura asked with a smile and Milo smiled back.
“Getting ice cream?” She asked, hoping she was correct.
Sakura stood there for a second, dumbfounded by Milo’s response.
“…Well, yes but that’s not what I was gonna say…”
Milo sulked.
“I was thinking it would be so fun if we taught each other how to play our respective instruments!” Sakura continued, an excited smile on her face and Milo grinned.
“Ooo, that would be fun!”
The 2 girls run to the school’s band hall.
Milo runs to her instrument locker to pull out her saxophone case.
Milo sat it down by her own chair and ran over to Sakura who was sitting on the piano bench (idk what it’s called, i’m not fluent in piano).
Sakura taught Milo what note each key is and a basic scale and arpeggio (probably the c scale and arpeggio tbh, that’s like the most basic one cause there’s no sharps or flats).
She also taught her a few chords and how to place her hands on the piano keys (i can just imagine Milo playing the c major scale and arpeggio with one finger lol).
After teaching Milo the basics for around 15 minutes, Sakura started teaching her a song (let’s be fr it was probably hot cross buns).
Milo picked up piano really quickly, she was having a lot of fun learning from her friend. (you may have noticed there’s like 0 dialogue in this part and it’s cause I know next to nothing about piano)
They decided it’s time to stop and switch over.
“The student is now the master.” Milo said, pulling her saxophone up to her lips and playing a quick round of careless whisper.
Sakura laughed at Milo’s silliness.
Milo texted one of her other section members, asking if it was ok to use his saxophone to teach Sakura so they wouldn’t have to use the saxophone of shame.
He quickly replied with a yes.
“Hiro said yes!” Milo exclaimed happily.
She quickly assembled Hiro’s saxophone and sprayed the mouthpiece with mouthpiece disinfectant.
She adjusted Sakura’s hands to be in the correct position on the keys.
“Ok, press down the top 3 keys with your left hand and blow. Keep the corners of your mouth tight and be careful not to puff your cheeks.” She explained and Sakura followed her instructions.
She honked out G and Milo flinched slightly at the loudness of the note. “Ok! You just played G! Now just press the first 2 keys! Keep in mind your embouchure.”
The A came out a bit smoother than the G and Milo smiled proudly. “That was an A! Now, just the first key.”
Sakura played B and Milo’s smile grew. She normally wasn’t a good teacher so this was a proud moment for her.
“Good job! That was B. Now, just press the 2nd key.” Milo praised Sakura.
Sakura obeyed her instructions.
Milo continued to smile. “That was C! Now, press all 3 on the top, and all 3 on the bottom plus the octave key.” She spoke, pointing at the octave key on her own instrument.
Sakura played D and Milo smiled proudly. “That was D! Now, the top 3 and the bottom 2 plus the octave key.”
She played E.
Milo cheered. “Now, the top 3 and just the 2nd key on the bottom plus the octave key.”
Sakura squeaked out F# and Milo flinched. “Loosen your embouchure a bit.” Milo instructed.
She played the note without squeaking this time and they cheered.
“Ok! That was F#. Now, just the top 3 plus the octave key.”
Sakura played the high G and Milo cheered.
“Ok, I’m going to tell you a note and I want you to play it, don’t stop in between notes unless you need to breathe. I don’t want you to pass out.”
“Ok!”
“G.” held for 4 counts.
“A.” held for 4 counts.
“B.” held for 4 counts.
“C.” messed up then fixed it, held for 4 counts.
“D.” held for 4 counts and took a quick breath.
“E.” held for 4 counts.
“F#.” held for 4 counts.
“High G.” held for 4 counts.
Then back down.
Milo cheered, clapping happily.
“Sakura! You just played the G scale!”
The 2 of them celebrated.
They sadly needed to go to their next class so their celebration was shortly lived.
~the end~
A/n: hope you liked this Sakura!!<33
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musical-dealer · 1 year
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got sick today so you all only get half 💀
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nomadicrusalka · 1 year
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Modern AUs with Ino as a model/celebrity of some kind are my obession hello and welcome In theory this was a lighting practice but let’s be honest,,, any excuse to draw Ino is a good excuse she just makes me go feral (””””
Commissions open on ko-fi! <3
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ashishere0w0 · 1 year
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I NEED THOUGHTS
Vampire Glam AU where Glam is a vampire and Ches is a Vampire Hunter
Also its set in around 2005
Thoughts????
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mimiwrites · 8 months
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New idea time so may I introduce to everyone life series characters in shadows house universe!
Where everyone from the life series gets there own shadow master.
Note this au will have spoilers for the manga of shadows house so I’ll put a more thing on the posts with the spoilers for those who don’t want to see spoilers.
So my idea for this is basically it follows kinda the story of shadows house but the characters from the life series are here I haven’t got it all figured out yet but i like the idea and wanna work on it more. This will have ships in it, there’ll be some main parings like flower husbands, treebark and some other parings that i like I have a rough idea of it and what I kinda want to do with it and where it will go I’ll probably do short stories and maybe try to do one big one for this au but I’ll need to figure some stuff out for it first but I’m really excited for this idea to take some shape.
Also I’ll be doing character descriptions for the shadow master and there living dolls in separate posts with a link to them for easy access once I’ve done them but yes this is only a wip at the moment but if anyone has any questions about this au or the story’s i have in mind for it please don’t be afraid to ask about it!
That’s it for now and i hope you lovely lot have an amazing rest of your day
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Is it weird that I mourn for my younger self that never had any real problems with speaking to people or doing whatever she wants?
Does it make me bad when I'm jealous at my younger self? I wonder, 'cause I'm right now crying about what would've been if I retained that me into the future years. Would I have been happier than now? Or less miserable on those fucking days where everything sucks and you just want to disappear.
Shit, why is growing up so hard, I can barely handle puberty on these days, I don't wanna know how adulthood will be like.
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echoesofaheart · 9 months
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age regressor culture is wanting to make art dolls and other homemade toys so that you have an excuse to have toys
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whump-ventures · 2 years
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🛡 hurt protecting someone else for the asks?
Ohhhh love this one! Thank you!
~~~
Her heart is in her throat when she sees him go down, thrown violently from his horse. The scene unfolds almost in slow motion in front of her, and as fate would have it, the side of his head collides with a rock and rendering him motionless. For a terrifying moment, she fears the worst, and she’s moving before she can think. She’s running into the thick of the battle as fast as she can, praying that he was simply knocked out
Her hands are shaking as she skids to a halt beside her husband, reaching towards the bloody wound on the side of his head. “My love?” He’s breathing, she can see the steady rise and fall of his chest. “Come on-” She grabs his arm, trying to haul him up, if he won’t come around quick enough, she’ll have to drag him away from the battlefield. She should be able to, as long as-
The change in the shadows is her only warning and it comes not a moment too soon. Sajia scrambles quickly, one arm held in front of her face. The sword slashes towards her, and she cries out as the blade slices through her upper arm, leaving a deep gash behind. The bright red of her own blood is jarring, dripping to the ground as she instinctively grabs out a dagger with her un-injured arm, breathing heavily as her eyes water from the pain. The enemy soldier looks at her for a moment, and then his eyes flicker to Rahim.
“No!” The word is a gasp and she flings herself forward without a second thought, desperate to protect the person that she loves. He blocks her strike with ease, grabbing her wrist and shoving her harshly out of the way like she weighs nothing. Sajia stumbles to stay on her feet, trying to wipe the tears away from her eyes so she can see the enemy clearly. She lunges forward again before Rahim can become his prey, and this time she manages to feint to the left, before twisting sharply and getting a good slash in at the soldier. It’s his turn to stumble back, and Sajia plants herself firmly between him and her husband. Her arm is bleeding worse than ever, but she won’t give up.
The enemy turns to her after taking the time to inspect the shallow cut by his collar bone. If she had aimed just a bit higher, she could have ended the fight…
His eyes meet hers, and he openly laughs. “Step aside. A battlefield is no place for someone like you.”
He’s right. She’s not a warrior. She’s a physician, and a queen. But she is no fighter. She was trained, and trained well, but she always preferred words over weapons. This man is much bigger than she is, stronger, faster, more skilled.
But she has someone she’s fighting for.
If aggression wins fights, then she will have to be more aggressive than ever before.
Sajia doesn’t wait for him. She lunges quickly, dodging his first swing, ducking under a second. Her knife slashes at his throat and he leans back. Her eyes flicker to the rocky ground for a split second, and then she steps even closer, stabbing with her dagger towards his heart. She’s too close for him to effectively use his sword, and he knows it, letting the weapon clatter to the ground and making a desperate grab for her wrist. She stabs at his hand, drawing blood as he pulls away. A fist swings towards her and she ducks, swinging her body full on into his.
Her strength isn’t enough to knock him down, but when his foot gets caught on a jutting rock, it finishes the job for her. Sajia doesn’t think about her actions, doesn’t think about taking a life, she just follows him to the ground and drives the dagger straight through his heart.
The rest is a blur.
She wraps a makeshift bandage around her arm before running back to her love. He’s still out, but his breathing is still steady. The battle still rages on.
The strength comes from somewhere. Sajia grabs under his arms and begins the journey. The sound of fighting fades to a faint buzzing, and all she can do is focus on one step after another, eyes locked on the safety of the Khurzan camp. One step, and then another, har arm feeling more and more numb as blood continues to drip down her arm, even through the fabric hastily wrapped around the wound. It was deep, and will need stitching.
One step. Another. Somehow, she makes it to the camp. Somehow she’s in a tent, pulling Rahim onto a bed. Somehow, she’s collapsing onto a chair of her own, allowing just a moment to catch her breath, to push away the fire that’s racing through her arm. Just like walking, catching her breath is just one deep inhale, one deep exhale. And then another. Until her heart stops racing and the adrenaline slows. Until she can slowly blink her eyes open and start to think logically about the next steps.
It’s a monumental effort to get up, but she does so anyway. There’s work to be done.
~~~
The sound of clashing swords is still ringing in his ears as awareness slowly starts to creep in. His head is foggy, pounding out of control, and everything seems to be at a disconnect- unaware of where he’s at or what is going on around him. His eyes seem too slow to open, and as the darkness starts to form into shapes, he’s certain that he must still be in the battle. Knocked to the ground from the heavy blows- the cut to his side, the hit over his head- he shouldn’t be waking up at all.
He reaches for his weapon, trying to get his limbs to respond, feeling an urgency to get to his feet in an instant. His hands find a hold of something soft, and he makes an uncoordinated effort to sit up, before gasping at a sudden shock of pain that shoots through his body like a blast of lightning.
“Easy, My Lord." A hand rests on his shoulder, and Rahim’s head turns sharply, black spots swarming his vision. “You’ll reopen your wounds.”
The voice is soft and immediately recognizable as his favorite sound in all of Zinjiq. He blinks the darkness away, feeling a calm wash over him as he focuses on gorgeous blue eyes and soft features that seem to take his pain away with ease.
But the relief does not last, remembering immediately where he is at. The fighting in Azdi- what is she doing in this place? His wife should be safe back in Khurzan, nestled in the gorgeous mountains that they call home. She shouldn’t be on a battlefield in a foreign kingdom, where her life could be taken at any second. He knows that Sajia can handle herself, but that doesn’t mean he is willing to risk it.
“What are you doing here?” Rahim can’t hide the fear that enters his tone as he starts to scan over her body, anxiously searching for any sign of injury. Her left arm is tightly bandaged, and fear leaps into his throat when he can see that they’re stained red.
"What am I doing here?" Her eyebrows raise, a soft smile playing on her lips as she brushes a loose curl back behind his ear. “Apparently I’m saving your life.”
“I had it handled.” Rahim mutters under his breath, trying to sit up in the bed and letting out a soft hiss of pain.
“Of course you did, my love.” There’s a slight scolding to her tone, her hand resting gently but firmly on his shoulder to keep him in the bed. “But now you need to rest.”
“But I-“
“And you need to stop arguing with your physician.”
Rahim can’t hide the teasing in his tone as he meets her gaze. “And what about arguing with my wife?”
Sajia leans forward and places a gentle kiss on his forehead. “That, my love, is an even more foolish decision.”
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zytes · 5 months
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this manatee looks like it’s in a skyrim loading screen
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oobbbear · 4 months
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I want to post this here too because I’ve seen it happen a few times
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Please understand that there are cultural differences and language differences, if you see this happening let the person clarify what they meant, that person might just not be familiar with words the western side of the internet use
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katkit-drops · 10 months
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I genuinely couldn’t wait any longer to finish the digital version of this so have the paper one !
I drew this over a month ago so that’s how long it’s been since I started working on the digital version
( It usually takes me less then a week, but my motivation has been down lately )
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theoldkyokodied · 1 year
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One wedding and three funerals
Background paintings under the cut
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#tomgreg#succession#tom wambsgans#greg hirsch#shiv roy#roman roy#kendall roy#yeah no im not tagging everyone thats too much#this is me going 'how much implications themes and symbolism can i fit in one painting'#yes i gave rose shivs haircolor. if we ever find out how she looks like and its not like this im just gonna pass away i guess#but yeah i hope yall connect the dots#i put waaay too much thought and work into this. i was googling pictures of all the actors as kids just for reference (sigh)#honestly kinda wanted to make tom and greg link pinkies as like. a pinkie promise. but that was too hard to draw in this angle#at least not without obstructing the view of the ring which is important to see so ya#my fave is actually the tomshiv wedding pic i went off with that. i love them... they should have run away to become sheep farmers fr fr#anyway im so glad im done with this UGH!! finally i can draw smth else without being like oh noooo i need to finish this#i see a lot of you wondering why there is no portrait of logan but one of ewan#it's bc the placement of the painting represent their standing. logans portray would not hang next to the stairs#his present portrait hangs at the end of it. all the way up at the top. alone and withering away#basically the picture you see underneath ewan to the right? its where toms parents would be. the right side of the wall is tom and gregs#and the left one is the roy siblings theirs. since they grew up rich rich. and tom and greg didn't#but ya thats why ewan hangs here and logan does not :)
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