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angry-geese · 3 years

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Fluorescent Adolescent

Itadori x Reader x Sukuna

Warnings: sfw. platonic/romantic (interpretable). some minor swearing. mostly fluff. mention of violence. poly (sort of). Gn!Reader

Notes: Yuji and the reader have a movie night together. Sukuna decides to tag along

Nights at home were rare.

There’s not a lot of downtime when studying to become a sorcerer. Gojo was always sending you off on jobs that his students were very much not ready to handle. The line of work doesn't really follow a set schedule. Curses rarely exorcise themselves.

You haven't even graduated and you already wanted to retire.

You wanted to do something to celebrate your time off. Yuji suggested a movie night. You had nothing else in mind, and it sounded nice. The two of you thought about inviting Nobara. Movies weren't really her thing; she had other plans anyway. It wasn't often you got to hang out with just Yuji.

Gojo side-eyed you when you asked to borrow a movie. Your first mistake was asking him. The last time you borrowed one from him, the disc had been switched out with a porno. It took Yuji quite a while to figure out what was wrong. Nobara couldn’t pause the thing fast enough. Whether he forgot, or he did it on purpose, you’ll never know. You have the sneaking suspicion he meant to do it. When you gave it back the next day, Gojo never questioned why Yuji couldn’t look him in the eye.

Maybe that’s why Nobara passed on this one.

Eventually you settled on a horror movie. You're not quite sure what it was about. It looked gruesome. The cover had fake looking blood all over it. Despite being a jujutsu sorcerer, you were a wimp when it came to things like this. In the heat of the moment you could deal with it, but when it came to movies you were squeamish. It didn't matter how many times you told yourself that it wasn't real.

In the other room, the microwave beeps. The smell of burned popcorn fills the room. He likes his burnt; you can't stand the stuff. Two bowls had to be made. Both with a healthy dousing of salt and butter. Not the powdered stuff either; the real kind.

"You're going to miss it!" You call out.

"No I'm not!" Only a moment later followed by: "maybe I am!"

Yuji flings himself over the couch, just in time for the movie to start. Popcorn spills over the sides of the bowl, onto the couch and floor. He shouts "five second rule" before popping one into his mouth. Immediately you tackle him. He’s a bit stronger than you, and easily struggles free. It takes you nearly sitting on him to stop him. You have to pry the rest of the floor popcorn out of his hands like someone fighting their dog for an item it shouldn't be eating.

"Are you going to stop?” You ask. “Or are you going back for more the second I let you go?"

Weakly he nods.

The moment you let go of his wrists he’s lunging past you, reaching for it. In one swift motion you have him under you, pinning him to the floor.

The movie starts off with a creepy looking scientist, and two women stranded in a forest. You admit defeat, and collapse on top of him.

"Man I got hit so many times over this one," he offhandedly mentions.

"What?"

His response is a grunt.

If he says something out of pocket, it's best not to acknowledge it. He could write an entire novel about his life and barely scratch the surface. It’s almost impressive at this point.

It intrigued you, though. There were about a million questions you had for him. Asking one only brought up a hundred more.

The first thing you learned about Itadori Yuji was how he was Sukuna’s vessel. The second thing you learned was that he was going to die.

You were told not to get attached. Against almost everyone's advice, you did. So did many others. Yuji was truly strange. He didn't have the look of a man given a death sentence.

You often wonder how you'd react in his situation. Maybe you'd go to your death with a lot less grace. But there's no way of knowing until it happens. You like to think you'll go out in a blaze of glory.

Your interactions with Sukuna had been few, and only in passing. Aside from stories, you don't have much to say about him. Generally you aren't around when they switch. The one time you were, they didn't stay switched for very long. It still made you wonder. Since they shared domes, could Sukuna see everything that went on in Yuji's daily life? How much control did they really have over each other?

Sukuna would often switch out with Yuji while he slept. You expected that. He was unpredictable, and a bit of a prick. He's the king of curses after all. What more would you expect from a demon? Strangely enough, he never did anything. It wasn’t a proper switch, more like a particular hand or leg was taken over. Sometimes he'd knock things over, or hide Yuji's things, but he was never much more than an inconvenience. The guy could be a menace, sure, but he wasn't nearly what you expected.

He lays his head in your lap. Instinctively your hand finds his head, gently carding through his hair. It's strangely soft. It feels nice between your fingers. Sometimes you wonder if he dyes his hair, or if it's naturally like that. Come to think of it, you've never seen a baby picture- or even a childhood photo.

It's almost horrifying how quickly Yuji began to doze off. You sat there the entire time in wide-eyed horror. Maybe a bit of disbelief. If he feels the way your legs tense underneath him, he says nothing about it. He's snoring in no time. He can't help it, your hands feel so nice in his hair.

Unfortunately, you had caught Sukuna's attention too.

Nothing went on in Yuji's life without Sukuna listening in. Every little detail about his day to day life was known by Sukuna. Most days he didn't care to listen in. Unless there was a fight, or something to piss off, he wasn't interested. He was the first to realize how fond his host was of you. Immediately he started plotting all the ways he could hurt Yuji with you.

That plan was cut short.

He's not sure when it happened. Slowly you became worth something to him. Your strength was promising. If you continued on your path you could prove to be a truly frightening sorcerer. He found your will to fight impressive, albeit naive. At first it was a reluctant respect. You had promise. He could use that. Either against your or against other sorcerers, it didn't matter to him. You'd work in his favor eventually.

There was one moment that stuck out. One where his feelings went from a general distaste to fondness. You were fighting a curse, of all things. Although it didn't hit hard, it could shrug off a lot of damage. It wasn't particularly strong, but it was tough, and smart, proving to be a pain in the ass to everyone involved. With a snap of his fingers he could have exorcised it. But he didn't. Watching you two fight it was much more entertaining. If his host was killed, he'd simply bring him back.

Something went wrong. He's not quite sure what. The moments went by like shots out of a badly filmed movie. One scene. Then cut. Then the next scene. Then cut.

You're clinging onto his arm, asking if he's—Yuji—is okay. You weren't even hurt, but you were soaked in blood.

His feelings for you weren't disgust, or hatred, or even pity. It was something much worse. If he was capable of liking someone, it would be you. Sukuna could never imagine himself feeling this way for a human.

He hates that.

The affection he feels isn't love in a proper sense, but that's the only word for it. A creature like him isn't capable of love. He's the king of curses, he'll never lower himself to the level of humans. He'll never view you as more than a pet, but he cares for you in some sort of way.

Sukuna's affection comes out as bullying. Well, as much as a lone mouth can bully someone. You've learned to tune him out or brush him off. He's harmless around you. Yuji seems to keep him on a short leash. His bark is far worse than his bite. At least to you. You really can't say that for any unfortunate bastard that decides to piss him off.

Jokingly, you began referring to Sukuna when talking to Yuji. It was only to make him roll his eyes. Everyone hated when you did that, because usually Sukuna would respond. You tried to see how long you could get him to talk before he realized you we're screwing with him. It usually took a while.

Yuji's snores have gotten awfully quiet. The movie is less terrifying than you expected, but it makes your stomach churn. His eyes are open when you look down. They aren't Yuji's; they have a different look in them. Sukuna’s eyes have no humanity in them at all.

Both sets of Sukuna's eyes are focused on the TV. You're not quite sure when they switched. He made no show of it. One second he was Yuji, the next he wasn't. His hand rests on your knee, his thumb gently rubbing across your skin. He feels a bit colder than Yuji. You can’t help but wonder if it’s a curse thing or just a coincidence.

You try not to stare for too long.

"This is boring." He says. "You find this scary? Let alone entertaining?"

He doesn't like seeing you distressed, even if it's directed at something that isn't real.

"Yes, thank you," you say.

Maybe if you keep scratching his head he'll stop talking.

"Why do you like these? Clearly you don't like being scared." He says.

"Keep talking and I'll stop playing with your hair."

His sharp nails dig into your skin. "No."

"Then I suggest you stop talking,"

He sulks. It’s almost impressive how quickly you get him to back down.

He's a bit like a cat; the second your arms are tired and you need to rest, his fingers are digging into your skin. He doesn't want you to stop. The moments where he wants affection are ones where you can't—or don't want—to give it to him.

It's almost a competition between him and Yuji. His host is always so open with how he cares for you. You’re very affectionate towards each other. You’re affectionate towards all your friends. He finds it sickening. He wants your attention to be on him and only him. Yuji is only competition. Unfortunately for him—and you too, let's face it—they're a package deal. Sharing isn’t exactly a skill he has.

He shifts so he's sitting up, his head resting against your chest. Your heartbeat drops off for a second, before picking up in pace. You rest your chin on top of his head. Your hands find his hair, brushing it out of his eyes.

It's not long after his breathing evens out.

His head nods, eyes half shut, gaze still on the tv. You're so warm, he notes. He doesn't remember human contact feeling this nice. However hard he tries to fight sleep, it's no use, he can't stay awake for much longer.

For now, he would settle on sharing you if it meant he could have moments like this.

#jjk x reader #itadori yuji x reader #yuji x reader #sukuna ryoumen x reader #sukuna x reader #jujutsu kaisen x reader #jjk #jujutsu kaisen #fluff #poly #jjk fluff #jujutsu kaisen fluff

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fallingfor-fics · 3 years

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Teachers Pet- Prologue

All chapters

Its your sixth year here at Beauxbatons, but your mother has just informed you that your parents are getting divorced and you will be leaving your dad, meaning you have to move and transfer to Hogwarts. You were finally starting to feel grown and now everything is changing, but unbeknownst to you, the lonely potions professor will capture your heart and hold it for many years to come.

A Severus Snape fan fiction.

A/n hello, welcome to my first harry potter story, i'm going to start by saying all my knowledge is from the movies, some things/timelines may not line up correctly/aren't completely accurate or not mentioned but its to go with the flow of the story! thank you and enjoy!

I continued packing and sorting through all my belongings in my room while listening to music, attempting to drown out the cries and yells coming from downstairs. My mother had just announced to my father that she was leaving him and taking me with her. He was going to be left with nothing but the house and his things, I was okay with that though, he was nothing slight of an asshole. I sat down staring at a picture of me and my older sister when we were little, sitting in the same dusty plaid green sofa that sat in my living room at this very moment. I sighed as I briskly wiped a single tear that slid down my cheek, not wanting to be seen, I knew that was silly and that it was me simply being human, but my parents never showed much emotion around me, and my father often mocked those who expressed them, calling them weak minded for grieving or even crying for that matter. And my mother would often leave the room the minute she felt anything other than joy or anger, but she never fooled anyone, we always knew she walked away to cry silently alone. I remember vividly the first time I saw my mother cry. I was 7 and her father had passed away a couple days prior and we all went for a walk downtown, there was a candlelight vigil for some random old guy, but he had died from the same thing that took my grandfather from her. He wasn't around much when she was younger and he never bothered to meet my sister or I but I knew she still held tightly on the fond memories of him from when she was a girl. She began to walk away and me being clueless followed her, it was then I saw her taking out a handkerchief and wiping a few stray tears away. I reached my little hand up and rested it on her shoulder and told her it's ok, but she shrugged it off and told me to go back with my dad and keep walking. That's when I learned to just leave her alone anytime she was upset. I had never seen my father cry in my entire life until a couple months ago when his father was then taken from him, and even then it was only a few tears at his funeral which were quickly whisked away and never to be seen again. It was no surprise though.

I didn't dare go downstairs at the moment I knew my presence would only make things worse. Even amidst all this chaos neither of them shed a tear, which led me to believe they never really cared for each other the way parents were supposed to. It hurt watching the family being broken apart but what hurt the most was leaving Beauxbatons. I had just begun my sixth year there and I was so excited, I was almost done, I loved this school it was perfect for a girl like me, and I was dreading moving schools, but when I found out I was enrolling in Hogwarts I did a lot of research which wasn't easy, luckily I knew someone who worked there, or shall I say ran the whole thing. Albus Dumbledore, also known as my godfather, I know it may seem weird for me to have ever attended Beauxbatons, but my sister went there and my mother wanted me to follow in her footsteps, she wasn't happy about me transferring either, but she knew we needed to get far from my father.

I got up off my creaky bed and gently waved my wand in the air and finished packing everything up, setting the picture frame in last and closing my suitcases. I stood still for a moment thinking over all the memories I had in this house, I had lived here as long as I could remember and I was devastated to leave it. Especially in the care of my useless father. I tucked my h/c hair out of my face and behind my ear and muttered a spell which lifted my suitcases for me and began to quietly walk out of my room pausing in the doorway to listen for the muffled voices of my parents, I waited about three minutes and heard nothing assuming they either tired out from arguing or just got so mad they both stormed away. I turned to look into my room for one last time, admiring the homey feel it gave off, the light grey walls that I had just painted a year prior because I wanted a more "mature look" as opposed to the bright blue that had remained prior from when I was 10. I swallowed the lump in my throat and closed the door behind me, walking down the rickety stairs that creaked with every step, my luggage following close behind. I ran my hand along the railing, taking in every chip and crack from many times sliding down them with my sister.

As I approached the living room I noticed my father lazily plopped on the couch looking over a newspaper, visibly tired from the arguing he had just got done doing. "Where's mother?'' I asked in a small tone, careful not to startle him. "She's loading her stuff into the car...did you know she was going to take that too?" he asked with a clear tone of anger. "No actually I didn't." I said smirking sarcastically and heading out the front door. "Hey" I said with a small smile as I approached the car. My mother was hurriedly loading her stuff in and asking me to do as many spells as I could to fit it all in the small car. She didn't answer as she continued loading stuff in. "Need any help?" I asked using the same spells on my luggage and putting it in the front seat where my feet would go. "No y/n right now I just need your father to not be a fucking asshole" she spoke in a harsh but obviously exhausted tone. "Ha well only in our dreams right '' I said laughing slightly trying to lighten the mood. She just ignored it and shut the trunk of the car with a loud slam. "Keep slamming shit and you won't have a car to take from me!" I heard my dad holler from the house. I turned and faced the door where his voice boomed from and looked back at my mom, "Anything else we need?" I asked politely. "No that's all now go say goodbye I'll be waiting here in the car." she said sternly and got into the car without a second thought starting it up and waiting. I quickly went up the steps into my home and walked into my fathers line of view. "We are leaving now." I said with my hands on my hips staring at him as he continued to read the paper. "Mm" was all he said, I continued to stand there staring him down. "Is there anything else you want to say before we go?" I asked my patience growing thin as he continued to read the paper, slowly flipping the pages of the thin material and ignoring my questions. "Okay , well If not I'm going to go, hopefully I don't get in an accident and DIE on the way there" I said sarcastically seeing if it would lead him to saying even a simple "goodbye". No answer. "Ok, bye father. I am sorry things aren't different." I said as I walked away, as I passed the mantle on the fireplace I noticed a picture my mother had conveniently left behind, it was a family photo from a trip we all took when I was about 13, I picked it up and looked at it closely. We all looked so happy, there was still light in my eyes and love in my parents'. I looked over my shoulder at my father seeing he still had his nose in the paper and I put the picture in my bag I had draped on my shoulder.

I heard my mom honking the horn and looked up at the open door, I looked one last time back at my father before heading out to the front, closing the door behind me and heading down the step. I climbed in the passenger seat and shut the door putting my bag in my lap and double checking I had my wand. I took the letter I had received from Dumbledore when he found out I was transferring and reviewed over the helpful words he had written to get me familiar with how things worked here. I studied the steps to get there and what to expect upon arrival. Since school had already started three weeks ago I knew I was going to have some catching up to do. I turned the paper over and muttered "aparecium" to myself to reveal the map of Hogwarts he put on the back so I wouldn't stick out like a first year who is lost and has no idea where anything is, even though I didn't have a clue.

" Are you excited?" my mother asked as we continued to drive to the train station. "Not particularly" I said looking out the window as we drove farther and farther away from the town I had spent my whole life in and grown to love. "I think you will find that you love Hogwarts, it's a lovely school according to Albus" she said, trying to get me to be more positive about the situation, but I just continued to stay silent. "Look y/n I know this is hard, it's not easy for me either, but this is a good thing, it's a new chapter for us, and you are going to meet so many new witches and wizards and you're going to make a lot of new memories!" she said looking over at me smiling. "I doubt it," I said trying to focus on anything else but the current situation. "Well I tried if you don't want to see this as a good thing fine, but I wasn't going to stick around with that dirt bag father of yours, I needed to make a choice on what's best for us." She said a hint of anger in her tone at my relentless and stubborn attitude. "I know I'm just sad," I said honestly as we approached the train station. I began to feel a nervous tickle in my chest, and not a good one, not only had I never gone through platform 9 ¾ but I had never even ridden a train. I mean it can't be too scary. Maybe it was the being alone part. "Ok we are here, are you ready?" my mother said parking and smiling at me. "Fuck no."

#severusnape #snape #severus snape x reader #snape x reader #slytherin #hogwarts #severusimagine #severus x reader #Snape slowburn #x reader #professor snape

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songtoyou · 3 years

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Epiphany - Part Four

Paring: Luke Crain x Female Reader

Chapter Rating: PG-13

Word Count: 3,080

Warnings: Talks of drug use and recovery. Swearing and self-doubt.

Description: Life has never been easy for Luke Crain. After the death of Nell, Luke realizes that he needs to make some changes. He decided to stay in Massachusetts and attend rehab. He was determined to remain on his path of sobriety. When you get assigned to be Luke’s sponsor, it opens a new door of possibilities that neither you nor Luke expected.

A/N: I am sorry that it has taken me so long to write and upload this chapter. I have not been feeling so good since I posted that last chapter. Lots of anxiety keeping me from doing things such as write. Anyway, here is the new chapter. I wanted to write about Aunt Janet. I felt that the show didn’t really tell us much about her except that she took care of the kids after the events of Hill House in 1992.

Note: Italics represent the past or past conversations.

Feedback is wonderful. It is nice knowing if people are actually liking this fic.

I do not permit my work to be posted on any other site without my permission.

Tag list: @morningstar09

~Aunt Janet’s House – 2002 ~

“Luke! Hurry up, or you’re going to be late for school!” Aunt Janet yelled up the stairs.

“Luke! Come on!” exclaimed Nellie. “I’ll go check on him.”

“Thanks, sweetie,” said Janet. Her youngest nephew often worried her, especially since it was the tenth anniversary of Olivia’s death this past summer. Janet started to notice that Luke became more recluse and stayed up in his room. The only person Luke would interact with was Nell, which was not surprising to Janet. The twins only managed to become closer as they got older.

What really began to cause Janet to worry was catching Luke steal money from her purse. She asked him what he was doing and why he was stealing. However, Luke could come up with a pretty decent lie about needing money to buy flowers for Olivia’s grave.

In truth, it was to buy beer. Luke had taken a liking to the barley and hops beverage. It helped him feel numb and not worry about anything. Unfortunately, Luke had one too many beers last night and was paying for it. Nellie found him headfirst in the toilet regurgitating the contents of his late-night beer binge.

“Eww, gross. What is wrong with you?” asked Nellie. She pinched her nose as the stench of Luke’s puke was overwhelming.

“What does it look like! I’m sick! Tell Aunt Janet that I can’t go to school.”

“Luke, come on. You have missed too many days already. They’re going to hold you back another year if you miss any more school,” Nellie argued while searching through Luke’s drawers and closet for clothes.

Luke managed to get up from the bathroom floor when he felt it was safe. He rinsed out his mouth to relieve it from the after taste of throw-up.

“Come on! Get cleaned up and put these on,” ordered Nell and shoved Luke’s clothes in his arms.

Luke groaned and plopped down on his bed. “Nellie…I can’t go to school today. I’m too sick.”

“Well, your sickness is also making me sick, but I managed to get up and ready for school today. Now move it! I’ll keep bugging you if you don’t move. I’m not going to let you fall to the waste side. Do you hear me, Luke?”

“Fine! I’m getting dressed!” Luke yelled to get Nellie off of his back.

No matter what occurred between them, neither twin could ever hate the other. They were each other’s best friends and closest confidante. They had to be. Especially now that they were the last two left in Aunt Janet’s care. As soon as their eldest siblings turned eighteen, they hightailed it out of Janet’s house for college.

Luke slowly trudges down the stairs with his backpack slumped on his shoulders.

“Hey, there he is,” greeted Aunt Janet. “Would you like some breakfast, sweetie?”

“No! No breakfast,” Luke replied with his head on the table.

However, Nellie pushed a plate of dry toast in front of him and told him to at least nibble some bites. “Here’s some orange juice. Take slow sips. The last thing we need is you spewing junks in the toilet again,” whispered Nellie while Aunt Janet was in the kitchen. She would not out that her brother was hungover. That last thing Nell wanted was to cause any more trouble for Luke.

She knew why Luke did not want to go to school, and it had to do with, what else, their family. Some of the kids at school saw Luke as an easy target to bully and terrorize. The topic of their “messed-up” family was their go-to whenever they wanted to antagonize Luke. Nell often found herself a target for bullies but could stand up for herself a lot better than Luke.

With the anniversary of Olivia’s death, the bullies made it their mission to torment Luke about growing up without a mother or father. They would push him against the lockers, knocking his glasses off his face, and trip him in the hallways. It was too much to handle, and Luke was tired.

Leaning back in his chair, Luke re-read the words on the computer screen. His instructor loved the essay he turned in and advised him to expand upon it. Luke pushed aside his reservations about exploring his past traumas through writing. It was a better outlet for Luke to help cope and tackle past stressful life experiences. Not only did Luke have support from his instructor and you, but his counselor at Banyan Treatment Center, Rob, also supported the idea of using expressive writing as a way to heal.

Luke could not deny that writing helped clear his head. Something he learned while being in rehab back in Los Angeles. It allowed him to face things from his past that he had pushed aside. However, Luke had some reservations about how much he should…open himself up when it comes to sorting out his past events. There were still things that Luke was not quite ready to face.

Oh my God!" exclaimed Luke. "It has been a month and a half since we have seen that movie. It would be best if you got over the ending. It happened. There is nothing you can do about it."

"I can't, Luke. It was total bullshit!" you yelled back furiously.

Luke calmly said your name to get your attention. "Listen to me; we don't even know if Steve Rogers actually stayed back in time to be with Peggy. He may have…"

"Then where did he go? Huh? He just up and left his friends who he just got back. Steve and Peggy never even dated! They kissed, that is it. Yes, there was an attraction that each had for one another, but that was all it ever way…an attraction. They are a 'what could have been' type of couple—the movie completely throughout all of Steve's character development…right out the window. Whatever, I'm over it," you stated, throwing your hands up in defeat.

You and Luke were driving to his Aunt Janet's house for a visit. He mentioned to you about wanting to visit his aunt for some time but had not gotten around to it. You were surprised that he asked you to come along.

Luke mentioned that Shirley and Theo were too busy to come with him and did not want to go alone. You agreed on the condition that he drive since Aunt Janet lived an hour and a half away from Wilmington. Lately, your anxiety has been going up and down, so you were not comfortable being at the hands of the wheel, especially on the freeway. You did not understand why you had such anxiety these past few days. You chalked it up to being nervous about your final project at school. The assignment was to create a self-portrait. It should be simple enough, but of course, the art instructor wanted students to "think outside of the box" and not have it be a regular standard portrait of themselves.

Each draft you came up with was of you in some state of turmoil, whether it be you depicted on a gurney getting resuscitated from your heroin overdose or lying in a pool of your own vomit. You could not understand why this particular project was giving you such a hard time. You were three-years sober. You had a steady job and gone back to school. Your relationship with your parents was better than ever. So, why the thought of a self-portrait brought upon negative thoughts about oneself?

You mentioned your troubles to Luke, and he was very sympathetic. While he was now 206 days sober, there were times where he felt…like the achievement did not mean much.

"What do you mean by that?" you asked him while on the way to Aunt Janet's house.

"It's just…this isn't my first rodeo when it comes to recovery," Luke began to say. "There is always this little voice in the back of my head that…"

"That it is only temporary. I have that little voice too. I'm not too fond of that little voice. Three years sober, and there are times where I still feel like a total failure. I shouldn't, but…I can't help it," you revealed to Luke honestly.

"Thankfully, there is another little voice in the back of my head that gives tells me that I'm doing a good job now and then. It's just that positive little voice has been a tad quiet lately," you added.

Luke could pick up on the little defeatist tone in your voice, and he did not like it. You immediately felt his worry about you. "Hey," you said to get his attention and placed a hand on his arm. "Don't worry about me, okay. I'm fine. I have my fears like every recovering addict. It is nice to talk to someone about it, particularly someone who understands, you know. That helps."

Silence soon filled the car, but it was not awkward. You never had awkward or uncomfortable silences with Luke. For some reason, Luke was one of the few comforting presences in your life. Regardless of all of the hardships he has gone through in his life, he offered a sense of hopefulness. With his 6'3 stature, Luke really came off more like a gentle giant. It was like he did not view himself as this grown tall man, but probably still felt like that little kid hiding under the bed from the "Tall Man" at Hill House.

"Luke," you said to get his attention. "Are you happy?"

"No," he replied immediately, then clarified when he saw the look you gave him. "I mean, am I happy that I am over 200 days clean, then yes I am, very much so. But…I don't know, there is a small part of me that is scared to be happy…to be content in fear of something going wrong."

When Luke pulled the car into Aunt Janet's driveway, the older woman immediately came out of the house to greet her youngest nephew.

"There he is, my little boy," she said and wrapped her arms around Luke, which he reciprocated.

"Hi Aunt Janet, how are you?"

"I'm fine, darling. How have you been?" Aunt Janet asked, pulling away to get a good look at Luke. He looked much better than he did at Nell's funeral.

"Good. I'm doing good. Everyone is doing…fine," Luke replied, then turned towards you. He introduced you as his friend and not his sponsor to his Aunt, which kind of surprised you.

"So nice to meet you," said Aunt Janet taking your hand. She motioned for you both to follow her into the house. "I hope you both are hungry. I made an array of sandwiches and salads for lunch. Luke, I also made your favorite…chocolate pecan pie bars."

"Thank the Lord because he was hoping you would make them on the car ride here. It was all he talked about?" you teased.

"Once you have one, then you will know what I am talking about," Luke responded with a smile.

Aunt Janet lead you both into the kitchen.

"Can I use the bathroom to freshen up?" you asked her.

"Oh yes, dear. It is down that hallway, the first door to the right," told Aunt Janet as she showed you where to go. "Luke, you should probably wash your hands first," she added.

"Yes, Aunt Janet," he said and went to the sink to wash his hands.

When you were no longer in earshot, Aunt Janet stood beside her nephew and said, "Your friend seems really sweet."

Luke could not hold back his smile, "Yeah, she is genuinely nice. She's fun to hang out with. We have a lot of the same interests. Shirley and Theo have met her as well," he mentioned and shared that both of his sisters really liked you.

Aunt Janet turned her head to see if you came if you were around the corner. When you were not, she leaned over to Luke and said, "Very pretty too. She'd make a lovely…"

"Aunt Janet, she is just a friend. I can't date her anyway. She's…they say you shouldn't date anyone while still in recovery."

"I'm so proud of you," Aunt Janet said as she placed the food on the kitchen table. "You are becoming the man I always knew you could be."

Luke would be lying to himself if he denied that there was some form of attraction that he had for you, both physically and emotionally. He knew that the feelings that he was slowly developing towards you could be considered wrong. You were his sponsor…a dedicated one at that too. It would not be right for him to act on any attraction he may have for you—no doubt, that you would not reciprocate them, which would be disappointing to Luke.

"Better to just suffer in silence," Luke thought to himself.

"Don't you want a girlfriend? A family of your own someday?" asked Aunt Janet.

"Yeah…maybe. Someday. I'm just learning to take care of myself without drugs in my system. There is no way I can be a dedicated father or husband to anyone… at least not right now. I am still a work in progress," Luke admitted to his aunt. "I do like…" But Luke stopped when he heard your footsteps approaching.

"Oh, my goodness. The pictures on the wall… I'm assuming the little kid with glasses is you, Luke."

The three of you sat around the kitchen table with your plates stacked with delicious food.

"Luke was the absolute cutest kid. He had a little lisp as well," Aunt Janet shared. "I have more pictures of the kids if you would like to see them?"

"Yes," you replied ecstatically.

"No," Luke disputed, "We are in the middle of eating."

"We can multitask. Let's see those pictures," you asserted gleefully while Aunt Janet got up from the table.

With a belly full of food, the three you were now sitting outside on the patio, drinking tea, and eating Aunt Janet's yummy chocolate pecan pie bars. You already looked through three photo albums that showed Luke and his siblings' younger years.

"I wanted to take as many pictures as I could of the kids. They hated it, but I told 'em they would appreciate it when they got older," expressed Aunt Janet. "Here's a picture of Nell on her wedding day. That's her husband, Arthur. Sadly, he passed away a couple of months after they got married. But…they are together now."

You looked at the photo of the young couple. Nell looked very much like her older sisters and her mother. You could tell that there was a kindness about Nell just by looking at the picture. She was the type of person to go above and beyond for her family and even strangers. Luke would say that Nell was just that type of person to care about everyone, no matter who they were or where they came from.

Luke did share with you that one of his biggest regrets was not going to Nell's wedding. He said that he tried, but Shirley told him to leave. Luke said that it was for the best and that he was in no right state of mind to support his twin the way she deserved on her wedding day.

Thankfully for Luke, Nell understood and held no hard feelings. She never did when it came to her other half.

Aunt Janet began to sniffle, and when you looked up from the photo, you saw the older woman dab her eyes with a napkin. Out of instinct, Luke grabbed his Aunt's tiny hand and squeezed it with his as a way to show support. Just as he was Aunt Janet's little boy, Nell was her little girl. She was the one to raise them, take care of them, and guide them into adulthood.

None of the Crain children were perfect; they were far beyond that notion. However, there is no denying that if they did not have Aunt Janet take care of them and love them, they could have been worse off. Luke had the overwhelming feeling of guilt encompassing him at the moment as Aunt Janet tried to hold back her tears.

You instantly looked up at Luke. You could feel his sense of guilt towards the way he treated his aunt while growing up. He looked over at you. It was a silent conversation you both were having between one another. You mouthed, "Do you want me to go?" so he could have this moment alone.

With a shake of his head, 'No,' Luke spoke up to get his aunt's attention. "Aunt Janet…I'm sorry. I'm sorry for…for all the Hell I put you through while living here. You did so much for Nell and me, and the others that I…shit all over it. I stole and lied to you like it was my job. You deserved better. I just want you to know that…me getting hooked on drugs…well…that was…no matter what had happened…it was my choice to go down that path of destruction. I love you, Aunt Janet, and I am so appreciative of the sacrifices you made for my siblings and me. I wish that I weren't such a fuck up…"

"Oh sweetheart, no, you are not a…fuck up," Aunt Janet interjected and continued, "Not at all. I love you so much that…I would do anything for you, you know that, right? Your childhood is in the past. It happened. It is a part of you. The fact that you are continuing to remain clean after all that has occurred…well, that is something you should be most proud of. It shows that you are dedicated to your sobriety and turning your life around. No one said this process was easy, but you stayed the course and continued to make good decisions. As I told you earlier, you are becoming the man I always knew you could be."

"Now, I'm going to cry," Luke giggled as he dabbed his eyes with a napkin. "I didn't mean to turn this into a sob fest, but I wanted you to know that I'm sorry for what I put you through and that I love you very much, Aunt Janet."

Aunt Janet emerged from her seat to wrap her arms around her nephew and kiss the top of his head. It was a sweet moment to witness.

#luke crain #luke crain x reader #luke crain x female reader #the haunting of hill house #oliver jackson cohen

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stillness-in-green · 3 years

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Idk if anyone told you but the MVA OST leaked, with themes for both the League and the MLA. If you haven't listened to it yet, please do! And if you have, what are your thoughts? I think Mine Woman and RE-DESTRO slap for 2 characters that got shafted hard by canon so I appreciate them a lot.

I have listened to them, and I like several of them! I feel like I need to lead with that, because I'm about to add some criticism about my previous responses to BNHA's score for context, so it's important to know that I genuinely do enjoy quite a few of these.

So, I haven't listened to a lot of Yuki Hayashi's scores, but he's definitely done work I've liked! He composed the music for several of the more recent PreCure shows, including their movies; I particularly loved his finale for the 15th anniversary film, which prominently featured a truly delightful medley of every team's opening theme. I'm also very fond of some of his pieces for Kiznaiver and Welcome to the Ballroom.

His BNHA work, though, I feel like suffers from two main problems: the tracks are too short to work up a good head, and yet, despite that short length, they sometimes feel exhaustingly over the top. (Did Shigaraki's theme really need crying children to get across the point that he's bad news?) I've long felt that the BNHA anime wants me to feel like everything is way more Epic and Stirring and Dramatic than I actually find the material to be, so curiously, the music winds up having a distancing effect rather than drawing me in. This is frequently compounded by placement choices that feel so staggeringly poor that I'm often left wondering whether the staff chose the music out of a hat! (Seriously, why does a fairly rote test of character in Nighteye's office warrant doom choirs?)

As to the MVA tracks specifically, I wish there could have been tracks that sounded a bit more fun or heroic, given that the League in MVA really are the heroes for the arc, complete with Shigaraki suddenly having access to Shonen Nakama Tropes and getting all these little comedic reaction takes. It'd be nice if the music could cue in and let the League have some aural triumph without being all doom all the time ("Oh, no! The villains are winning!" Yes, they are; let them have this for one arc, would you?)

But that said, I do rather like most of these! There are some that I do suspect will fall prey to the This Is Too Much Drama, Would You Please Ratchet Back? problem, but there are also some that I can imagine playing better in the context of the show than they do in isolation, and some that feel like they could even be exactly what I was dreaming about, if they go where I hope they will. For some individual thoughts, see below:

The Mission of the Stealth Hawks: A reasonable enough little tense atmospheric piece. Doesn't jump out at me.

Different Ability Liberation Army: I always approach the MLA as styling themselves as an army, but in reality being more of a sect--far more cult than militia-- I appreciate that if they can't have a good dramatic march despite having Army, like, right there in the title, I'm glad I could get church bells instead. On the whole, though, this is a good example of the first problem I mentioned having with Hayashi's work for BNHA--his pieces tend to be pretty short, and it takes them so long to land on a melody that by the time they find one, there's hardly any time to develop it before the song ends. Even a lot of the hero pieces are like that, and the villain songs, even more so. That said, I do like the horror strings that creep in around the 1.25 mark, blossom at 1.45, and float on through 2.10. I just wish they went on longer. Admittedly, "erratic church bells and horror strings" is still not the choice I would have made for the MLA's main theme. I really would have preferred something with a more militant air; as it is, this sort of feels like it scores a creepy prologue that plays before the opening credits kick in and then the episode proper starts. Which isn't a bad description for the way the dinner scene played in the manga, but thanks to the anime's decision to reshuffle everything, I don't think that dinner scene's going to maintain that feeling of "prologue" when we finally get to it.

My Villain Academia: Better on the melodic front; I enjoy the drama at .43, the dancing tension at 1.05, and particularly the minor strings from 1.25 that just keep climbing until everything else drops out around 2.10. I do wish it found a better place to end rather than noodling on for a further thirty seconds, but the melody will get a more central, and more bombastic, treatment in the final track, so it's probably okay for it to trail off here. (It's also apparently a reprise of a villain theme from the very first season's OST, which is rad. More on that in the Track 11 blurb.)

Second Coming: This is a bizarre one because, while I complained that Hayashi's BNHA tracks are usually short, this one is a full six and a half minutes--except that it falls clearly into movements of about a minute each, with clear lulls in between. I wish it was twelve minutes and everything was twice as long! As it is, I'm highly doubtful that we're going to hear this one played in its entirety anywhere, since I can't imagine what scenes would require this specific sequence of musical passages at this length. 0.00 - 1.01: I love that the song kicks in comparatively quickly; the first minute's passage has a great, thrumming drive that very nearly hits major key towards the end. 1.02 - 1.53: The drive picks up pace in the second minute before the chorus arrives, and for once, I am very prepared to love a BNHA choir piece. I hope this is what plays when Deika's going up in ash. 1.54 - 3.01: I love the melodic line being carried by the intentionally hard to distinguish violin and whatever brass instrument the violin's trading off with in the third minute. It's bit out of place with the rest of the track, but I like it quite a bit on its own, and it does have a similar sound as some of the "dirty" brass in RE-DESTRO and Mine Woman. It's probably too long for RD's childhood flashback, but I wonder if it'll play for an MLA character somewhere? 3.02 - 4.07: The fourth minute has some very fun drums, but otherwise doesn't jump out at me as much of the rest of the track. I'm very curious to know when this will play, though. 4.08 - 5.32: The fifth minute, god bless, has some proper march drums--I like this passage a lot, particularly when it come back in the sixth minute accompanied by the choir. I like this because the key is minor but it's not "oooo scaaaary" minor; it's more dramatic, a bit tragic, but triumphant too--pretty much perfect for Re-Destro, Spinner and Machia's moment of revelation in the crater. I wish it were longer. 5.33 - 6.36: And here for the end we're back to the driving guitar and some fun low-thrum strings and percussive chain sounds. Like the fourth passage, it's fun, but jumps out at me less, particularly as the song's finale.

Gigantomachia: This is an extremely boss kaiju song. Seriously, that brass in the opening could come right out of a Toho flick. Extremely good walking calamity number, love that distorted synth stuff towards the end. It's going to sound great when (if) it plays over Machia leaving the villa, the hand rising up through the floor behind Toga, Momo and the other students surveying the desolation left in his wake, and so on. (I know that's all Season Six material, shhhh. I hope they use this piece there.)

Mine Woman: This is so fun. And so extremely superior that that awful Christmas insert song! I'm glad Curious got this at least, and I love the moment the beat drops at the one-minute mark, and that interwoven sax. So good. It's hard to imagine the fight between Toga and Curious being paced to this song, mind, but it's real good, anyway.

TOGA's Nature: This one showcases the other problem I have with Hayashi's BNHA work, especially his stuff for the villains: it feels very on the nose in a way that tips over into being Too Much. The birdsong, I think, is on the nose but in an effective, playful way, with the natural beauty of the birds undercut by the lovely but ominous piano/synth melody. I am considerably less kindly disposed to the creepy child laughter, which just feels on the nose in a thuddingly obvious way--though I do like the way it slides in when the birdsong fades. I like, too, the sort of cloudy roaring reprise of the melodic line that kicks in around the 1.10 mark. It feels like an effective echo of Toga--cute but creepy as a young girl, and then, after she snaps, creepy in the same way but now you can't ignore it.

Symbol of Fear: The beginning doesn't do much for me, but I enjoy the howl that gives way to the organs at 1.15; while it's too action-heavy to be Tenko, the transition does still put me in mind of Tenko wandering the streets, internally crying for anyone to help him, and the person who finally does is--well. I like that the organ nurtures that howl into something considerably more dire, though you still get a return to that guttural cry periodically. While it is, again, difficult to imagine this scoring the scenes between AFO and Tenko's first meeting and Tenko being formally named Tomura--it's much too bombastic--it does still feel like an excellent representation of AFO sculpting Tomura's formless, aimless rage into something that really could tear down the world.

I Don't Kill My Friends: It would have been really nice if they'd let the most significant, unadulterated personal triumph of the arc sound actually fun. Why does the Sad Man's Parade song sound so upset?? @aysall predicts that it'll play over Twice's confrontation with Hawks and death scene, and I can see it working extremely well there, but it's a pretty weird call for the Dead Man's Parade bit, if that is indeed what this is intended to evoke. Quibbling about the title aside, I do like the way this pulses and throbs, something like an exposed wound, which is not a bad description of poor Jin's mentality. I still hope this isn't what scores his breakthrough, though. As I said previously, the villains are the heroes for just this one arc, and it'd be nice if the score could reflect that at least a little.

RE-DESTRO: I like this one a lot. I love the interwoven layers of that dirty sax and the Big and Dramatic orchestral strings + brass, but both of them undercut with that regular, machine beeping that could almost be a heart monitor, but mostly isn't--right up until the long beep at 1.52/1.53. It feels like a strong illustration of the titular character's different personas--his attempts at casual, friendly villainy (like menacing Giran or chatting with Shigaraki on the phone), him when he's thundering full-volume about the weight of his legacy at people (THE BLOOD OF DESTRO FLOWS THROUGH THESE VEINS I AM RE-DESTRO), and, beneath it all, the constant little thread of stress that Rikiya can never escape (right up until Shigaraki). I probably wouldn't love it so much in isolation, but I'm easy to win over with the right character association. XD

Paranormal Liberation Front: Very fun grubby guitar intro. It also has much the clearest melodic throughline, which inclines me towards it. What inclines me to it even more is the knowledge (per @aysall again) that it's the same main melody as the track Villains Theme from the very first season's OST. That track already having used its allotted Doom Choir quotient, this track makes do with less synth and a lot more orchestra and chunky bass backing, which is much to its benefit, I feel. I do wish it had any of the MLA's theme in it, to represent the merger, but admittedly, it'd be hard to make that very audible when the MLA theme has…next to no central melody, percussive rhythm, etc. Still, as an evolution of the League to something bigger, classier, and far more dangerous, it's real good--just long enough to develop into itself and explore its central leitmotif. Probably my favorite track simply on its own merits.

Thanks for the ask, anon! I'd listened to the tracks once driving around for work, but sitting down with them properly gave me a greater appreciation for them, and now I'll definitely have an ear out for them when we get to this material in the anime…

….whenever that winds up being. *sob*

#bnha #music #stillness answers #my villain academia #reviews?#league of villains #meta liberation army #shigaraki tomura #yotsubashi rikiya

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wonderfulworldofmichaelford · 4 years

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Is It Really THAT Bad?

I’m going to warn you all now. This one is going to get a bit angry at the end. Normally I would try and remain as professional as possible, but in this case, I don’t feel like I would be able to.

Batman & Robin is a film that has lived in infamy since its release in 1997. Upon release, it was critically reviled, and this hatred of the film continued long into the modern day, where it frequently tops “worst films of all time lists” to the point where it actually is listed on the Wikipedia page for “List of films considered the worst.” It was nominated for at least 11 Razzies but only won a single one, and it went on to be a frequent punching bag on the {REDACTED] Critic’s web show, where he would get irrationally angry at the mere mention of the Bat Credit Card. In contemporary reviews, Mick LaSalle of The San Francisco Chronicle stated “"George Clooney is the big zero of the film, and should go down in history as the George Lazenby of the series,” which is less of a criticism and more of a compliment, if I’m being totally honest.

Most of the stars would take a negative stance towards it as well, with legend stating that if you tell George Clooney that you saw the film in theaters, he will refund you for your ticket out of his own pocket. Chris O’Donnell likewise is not particularly fond of the film, stating "It just felt like everything got a little soft the second time. On Batman Forever, I felt like I was making a movie. The second time, I felt like I was making a kid's toy commercial." And, perhaps most depressingly, Joel Schumacher himself was apparently very apologetic for the film, though this may or may not have come about because of years and years of vitriol being directed at him for making this film.

In the wake of Mr. Schumacher’s passing, I decided to re-watch the film, as I am famously rather fond of it, and I am going to tell you all why the answer to the question “Is it really THAT bad?” is a loud, resounding, NO.

THE GOOD

There’s honestly quite a lot to like here, more than you might think. I think first and foremost what you need to understand going in is that this is a silly, cartoonish take on the Burton style, blending the silliness and camp of the West series with the drama and aesthetics of the Burton films, all while adding some over-the-top, colorful flair. John Glover, who appears in the film as a cartoonish mad scientist, even has gone on record as saying "Joel would sit on a crane with a megaphone and yell before each take, 'Remember, everyone, this is a cartoon'. It was hard to act because that kind of set the tone for the film”… the last sentence makes the statement very baffling, but at least even the actors were aware of what they were doing. If this doesn’t sound appealing, well, the opening is sure to warn you off, as it is a suiting up montage with various shots of the firm butts, large codpieces, and stiff batnipples of the Dynamic Duo. The movie is very upfront about what you’re in for.

On the subject of the infamous batnipples, Schumacher stated "I had no idea that putting nipples on the Batsuit and Robin suit were going to spark international headlines. The bodies of the suits come from Ancient Greek statues, which display perfect bodies. They are anatomically correct." It seems a very odd choice, but it’s pretty clear that he meant it as an amusing little design choice and nothing more. Of course, this hasn’t stopped everyone and their mother from spewing homophobic comments about how he was purposefully making the film gayer, even from star George Clooney, who has said that he played Batman as a gay man and was told by Schumacher Batman is gay. It’s so disgusting that people did and continue to do this, because honestly, the costumes are fine, and even if they are meant to be fanservice… so what? O’Donell and Clooney’s asses look nice, as does Alicia Silverstone’s when she dons a suit. The fact hers is just as form-fitting as the other two really shows that the whole idea Schumacher did it because he was gay is ridiculous; the man was very egalitarian about the fanservice in the movie.

Whatever else Clooney says, he does a pretty great job as Batman and Bruce Wayne. His speech at the end of the film where he talks to Mr. Freeze and reminds him that he is a good man and offers to help him is honestly one of the few moments in any Batman film where Batman actually feels like the one from the animated series, a man who fights crime but also wants to help the people he’s trying to stop. Clooney just has a very natural charisma that lends himself to playing a hero, and while there are a few awkward moments in the performance, he captures the fun and charm a more lighthearted Batman should. Michael Gough’s last turn as Alfred is also surprisingly poignant, and a lot of mileage is gotten out of his genuinely tearjerking subplot.

Of course, the very best part of the film is the villains. Uma Thurman is clearly having a ball as Poison Ivy, and she gets to have a ludicrous amount of costumes as well as numerous moments of fanservice. She also has the power to turn every man around her into a simp, which is absolutely amazing and leads to quite a few scenes of Batman and Robin slapping each other over her. But f course, there’s really no doubt that the best part of the film is Mr. Freeze. He’s a combination of the sillier Mr. Freeze from the West days and the more modern take of the character most are familiar with, the tragic anti-villain who wants to save his wife; such a character would take a talented man capable of comedy and drama in equal measure. And who better than Arnold Schwarzenegger? Joel Schumacher wanted a man who looked like he was chiseled from a glacier, and Arnold certainly fits that description. He spends the movie juggling some of the most corny puns you can imagine and a lot of truly powerful, understated drama, and it really does work. You honestly get the sense that Arnold really gets Mr. Freeze and what makes him a great character. Also, that suit he has is amazing.

As a final note: the Bat Credit Card is absolutely not stupid. Linkara has defended it in the past, giving reasons why and how it could actually work, but really, all that needs to be said is… is this any more ridiculous than Shark Repellent Bat Spray?

THE BAD

So don’t get the wrong idea here; this film is far from perfect. As is the case with any comedy, the humor can be hit or miss; not all of the puns land, not all of the jokes are great. You’re never going to get a perfect comedy no matter how hard you try, and this is no exception.

As for performances, I think O’Donnell’s Robin and Silverstone’s Batgirl are a bit wonky. O'Donnell has long been a source of derision for his whining, and while I think the hate is a bit overblown, he does spend a ludicrous amount of time in this film being snippy, miserable, and arrogant. I think he actually fights with Batman more than any of the villains! Still, his performance isn’t horrible, he just gets a bit too whiny at a few points.

Silverstone is a bit of a bigger problem, but she’s not quite as bad as even I remembered. She’s pretty much Batgirl in name only, since she’s related to Alfred in this, but she’s mostly okay. The issue really is that her arc in the film is relatively bland and feels a bit shoehorned, which comes to a head where she fights Poison Ivy in a designated catfight, obviously because they didn’t want Batman to punch a woman in the face I guess. There’s just one issue with that:

On the subject of Ivy, while she definitely does have plant powers here, they’re strangely underplayed. She rarely uses them even when it would probably be beneficial, instead relying on Bane to do most of the fighting for her. Ah, Bane… Bane is one of the few things about this film I can’t really muster up any sort of defense for. While his creation scene is rather cool, it doesn’t lead to much of interest, as this version of Bane is pretty much a mindless supersoldier lackey who serves Poison Ivy. Now, this was still relatively early in Bane’s existence, as he had only debuted in 1993 and was really most famous for his signature “breaking the Bat” move, but it still is baffling why, with that famous thing fresh in everyone’s minds, that they would just choose to go and basically make Bane into Evil Diet Captain America. Surely they could have either saved him for a sequel or utilized him in a way more befitting of the character? I think this Bane is kind of responsible for the negative perception of Bane as this big, dumb bruiser, something that works like The Dark Knight Rises and Arkham Origins have thankfully gone a long way to rectifying. Bane is at his best when he’s a cunning genius bruiser; here, he’s nothing but a glorified prop.

Is It Really THAT Bad?

The answer is no. No it isn’t. AT ALL.

I’ve always felt this film came out at the wrong time. It was towards the end of the 90s, during the Dark Age of Comics when everything was dark, gritty, and edgy. The world didn’t want a movie like this back then; they wanted stuff like Blade, who would come in shortly after this film and show us how to make that aesthetic work. I guess in terms of Batman they wanted something more like Dawn of Justice, which really speaks volumes to how awful the 90s were for superheroes.

Look, I’m not trying to convince anyone this is the greatest Batman film ever. Even I don’t think that; Batman Returns, The Dark Knight, and Under the Red Hood are all much better films. But is this really the worst Batman film now that we have the deeply misogynistic and disgusting The Killing Joke and the relentlessly bleak and unpleasant Batman v Superman? Hell, it’s not even worse than Batman Forever! At least the Batman in this film has some kind of emotional range beyond “plank of wood!” And even calling it the worst sequel ever is just… so baffling. Again, this is definitely better than Batman Forever, lack of Jim Carrey notwithstanding. And can you honestly look me in the eye and tell me that this is worse than any of the Terminator sequels after the second film? Worse than Iron Man 2 or Thor: The Dark World? The almost half dozen Alvin and the Chipmunk sequels? This is only the worst sequel or even a bad sequel if it is the only sequel you’ve ever seen in your life.

A lot of the hate for it from back in the day carries a strong undercurrent of homophobia. Much like the infamous backlash against disco, it’s seriously uncomfortable, and it definitely is cruel how accusatory people were towards Schumacher’s intentions for the suits of the heroes in the film. The fact that even the two main stars have gotten in on it is a bit disgusting, though O’Donnell questioning why there needed to be a codpiece is certainly less offensive than George Clooney saying he played Batman as a gay man for… whatever reason. Was he implying that Batman being gay made the movie worse? I’m not sure what he’s on about there. Even The New Batman Adventures made a cruel dig at the film; notice the sign and the effeminate-looking boy. You could only get homophobia this good in the 90s!

The hatred of this film is absolutely overblown. It’s so ridiculous. #70 on the bottom rated movies of IMDB? #1 on the 50 worst films of all time list from Empire? Doug Walker’s personal punching bag whenever he needs to talk about a bad sequel, to the point where he literally said no one wanted a comedic take on Batman in his worst sequels video? Come the fuck on.

Joel Schumacher may or may not have ended up hating this film, but he certainly was made to feel like shit for making it… and it is honest to god not that bad! But he was just absolutely eviscerated, to the point where this was a fucking headline when he died:

Literally fuck all of these people. Fuck io9 for their insensitive headline. Fuck Empire for rating this as the worst film ever. Fuck Doug Walker for his constant bashing and his shitty old “chimp out over the Bat Credit Card” gag. Double fuck Mick LaSalle for shitting on George Clooney’s performance while also trying to say George Lazenby’s Bond was bad. In fact, fuck George Clooney for his weird idea that playing Batman as gay is a bad thing (sorry George, but I can’t defend this). Fuck the Razzies. Yes, it was nominated, but I just feel it’s always a good time to say “Fuck the Razzies.”

I will never say you have to love or even like this film, but the sheer amount of vitriol and hatred for it is absolutely beyond me. At worst, this film is just a bit too goofy, and at best, it is a fun tribute to the campy days when Batman just couldn’t get rid of a bomb. I didn’t take off my score this time. I’m proud to say I gave this an 8/10, personally. If I’m being honest, a 6.6 – 6.9 is more appropriate, because it does have quite a few issues, but god, this film is not bad at all. It’s silly, goofy, campy, and fun… but bad? Not by any stretch of my imagination. And fuck the critics for convincing an entire generation that this is Batman at his worst, when we have Batman fucking slaughtering his ways through criminals and fucking Barbara Gordon on rooftops these days. I will always take stupid ice puns over misery, murder and creepy intergenerational sex, thank you very much.

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I hope you can rest easy, Mr. Schumacher. Maybe you didn’t love your film in the end but, wherever you are, I hope you know I loved it.

#Is it really that bad?#IIRTB #Review #movie review #batman & robin #joel schumacher #George Clooney #Batman #Uma Thurman #arnold schwarzenegger #Poison Ivy #Mr. Freeze #superhero movie

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nellied-reviews · 4 years

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The Empty Man Cometh Re-listen

Hey, it's episode 9 of my Wolf 359 re-listen, which means it's time for a particularly iconic episode:

The Empty Man Cometh

In which Eiffel freaks out, Minkowski freaks out and Hilbert freaks out. Seriously, that's the whole episode.

This episode, like I said above, is iconic. It's memorable, it's tense, and it's funny, in a dark, weird sort of way. Plus, it's the example par excellence of why Command are the Actual Worst. I had some very fond memories of it, going in, many of which it didn't entirely live up to, even if I generally enjoyed the episode.

As the episode begins, though, it does set its situation up really well. We have an ion storm incoming, after all, which works as a handy bit of spacey technobabble. We kind of suspect, until the final reveal, that the ion storm might have something to do with this Empty Man thing, which encourages us to view the episode's biggest threat as something vaguely external to the Hephaestus, something coming from the vast, impersonal void of space.

After this groundwork, however, all we get is essentially one long build-up and release of tension. We've already seen Wolf 359 trying for a horror episode - hello, Super Energy Saver Mode - so we already know this is something the show can do. And unsurprisingly, it does it pretty well here too, only using the "aaaargh, there's something weird out there" monster film model instead of the "aaargh, there's something weird in here" ghost story model. It's a simple idea, and it plays out pretty much like you'd expect, right until the end of the episode.

The messages the Hephaestus receive, I have to say, are amazing in their sheer weirdness, and I have a real affection for the moment where Eiffel shoots down the idea that they're somehow mistakes. He's 100% right that a real error would just be random letters or numbers, and pointing it out feels like a nice genre-savvy touch. Plus, after several episodes of Eiffel walking straight into horror movie clichés, it's nice to see some common sense from him.

Unfortunately, knowing that they're deliberate only makes the messages more mysterious, since they give the crew literally nothing to go off. The messages are clearly warnings, but beyond that, it's very hard to figure out what, if anything, the crew are supposed to do off the back of them. The messages put pressure on the crew by counting down ominously. But apart from that, it's essentially meaningless input. There are no instructions for the crew, no useful bits of information. There are just some very confusing words on a printout.

And, given the revelation that it was all a psychological experiment, might this not be the point? Perhaps Command want to know how humans react to their own powerlessness in the face of the totally incomprehensible, the terrifying Unknown. In fact, given that Command have a real interest in human communication with aliens - the ultimate terrifying Unknown - this would actually make sense. Heck, it even makes sense for them to specifically be doing this onboard the Hephaestus - theirs is the ship that Command expect to make contact with real life aliens, any day now. We could maybe see this experiment as a sort of psychological inoculation, preparing the crew for moment they finally get a message from the Dear Listeners.

Either way, if it's psychological reactions Command want to observe, we get them here by the bucketful. Eiffel, for example, alternates between freaking out and trying to convince himself that it's stopped. Hilbert, from what we can see, turns to technology, buckling down and running scans, while Minkowski is the one comparing the messages, trying to pull out patterns. It's an admirable impulse, but I suspect it's exactly what Command are playing off here. As humans, we love to find patterns. It gives us a sense of control. But faced with something that is incomprehensible, the sense of control slips away. And so, as level-headed as Minkowski seems, she freaks out in the end just like the others.

It's also worth mentioning that this is the point where the episode pulls out all the stops to freak us out, too. Seriously, from the use of tense music and creepy sound effects, to the absence of Hera's reassuring presence during large parts of the episode, to Eiffel whispering the final message, all of this is so spooky. I mean, things build to a peak, the power cuts out, everybody's losing their mind, and then-

Oh. It was all a psychological experiment. Ugh, Command. Why are you like this?

It's a deliberately dissatisfying, anticlimactic ending. We want to heave a sigh of relief that the Empty Man isn't real, that the crew survived. But any positive feelings linked to the release of tension are drowned out in righteous indignation and - for us, if not for the crew - a feeling that we've been robbed of the exciting horror story we were expecting. We, along with the crew, have had the rug pulled out from under us, and while it's something the show's done before - remember, uh, last episode, within which Box 953 never got explained or followed up on? - it's the first time it's felt cruel. Box 953 was an accident, accidents happen. But this? This is just mean-spirited, so we end the episode firmly aligned with Minkowski and Eiffel in their feelings of anger and betrayal.

The only positive? I do feel like this shared, terrifying experience brings the crew closer together, as evidenced by their plan to write a sternly worded letter and send it to Command tomorrow. I'm not sure how effective it will be. But the thought's nice. Plus it might give them a sense of control back, and who am I to argue with that?

It's a bright moment at the end of an episode that otherwise leaves us frustrated and angry, putting us through the psychological wringer alongside the crew. As an exercise in building up tension, it's effective, and it doesn't completely lose that tension on a re-listen, even knowing the ending. I still found myself jumping at some of the noises in this, you know? And scary countdowns will always be scary!

That said, I do think that some of the impact this had the first time I listened to it was lost this time. The first time I listened to this, after all, I remember getting freaked out by the prospect of the Empty Man, but also invested in figuring out what it was. Knowing that the messages are meaningless, I was less invested in that this time round. And weirdly, I also remember finding the crew's freak-out and their subsequent rage at the anticlimactic nature of it all funnier the first time round - perhaps because it was so unexpected? In any case, that didn't carry over as much this time, either.

Nevertheless, I would say that this episode was still perfectly fine, and my ill-will towards Command has, if anything, intensified. But it was certainly a different experience on a re-listen, with different things standing out. Which, in the end, is what a re-listen is for, I guess. Some episodes improve dramatically. Some don't. For me, this one falls into the latter category, which might just be due to how strong a reaction I had to it the first time I heard it. And that's fine. Not every episode can - or should - be made for fans on a re-listen.

And hey, if you found it just as good, or better, the second time round? More power to you ^-^

Miscellaneous thoughts:

Minkowski saying that they might survive this with minimal damage *shakes head*. Has nobody on this station heard of tempting fate?

Is the pulse beacon relay sound effect actually a cash register sound? It's effective, either way - I love how clunky it sounds :)

This episode is also a really good opportunity to show us how the pulse beacon relay works. Which totally won't be relevant ever again. Nope. Not at all.

Un momento por favor, Doctor Hilberto." Why does this line amuse me so much?

"Decide what to do with the time that is given to you." Aaaaaaaaah bad bad bad!

Hilbert speaks Russian, Swedish, Norwegian, German and Afrikaans?! How did Afrikaans get in there? (headcanons 100% welcome here)

Aww, Minkowski thinks they should all get a good night's sleep. Sound advice in most situations tbh

#wolf 359 #wolf359 #w359 #wolf 359 relisten #the empty man cometh #nellied reviews #in which Command are the Actual Worst #how could dare they?!

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ultrahpfan5blog · 3 years

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Rewatching the HP and FB movies

I have a tradition of rewatching HP movies at least once a year. This year, I added the two FB movies as well. I know lots of people have well deserved issues with a lot of thing with the franchise and I do too, but I still thoroughly enjoy the movies. All of them. Certainly there are some big issues I have, like how Kloves treated Ron starting from GOF onwards, and how Hermione kind of became a mary sue, and definitely some of the things that were added or removed, like the removal of some of the Riddle memories in HBP, removing the pretty fascinating Dumbledore backstory in Deathly Hallows, the silly inconsistencies like polyjuice not changing the voice of the characters etc... But in general, I still think the movies did a great job capturing the spirit of the books and the casting was just incredible. Especially the adult casting. I know we have only seen one version of Harry Potter on the big screen, but I envision these actors, especially the adults, when I’m reading the books now. Alan Rickman, Maggie Smith, Robbie Coltraine, Mark Williams, Julie Walters etc... are now the faces I see when I think of those characters. Richard Harris was a terrific Dumbledore for the first two movies, where he had more of grandfatherly, twinkling, vibe. I know people are critical of Gambon in GOF and he admittedly did get the characterization wrong, but I feel he was excellent in POA, OOTP, and especially HBP. Alan Rickman was just so outstanding in the role of Snape. I genuinely feel he should have gotten some Oscar consideration for his performance in DH2. But he was incredible even when he had only a few scenes and had to be super dry in his dialogue delivery. Maggie Smith was similarly wonderful. But these were just the adult regulars, but equally incredible were the phenomenal actors who came for just a few films. There are so many. Gary Oldman, David Thewlis, Imelda Staunton, Helena Bonham Carter, Brendan Gleeson, Ralph Fiennes, Jason Isaacs, Emma Thompson, Jim Broadbent etc... among many others. A lot of these actors only had a film or two where they had a significant presence, but they showed up in cameos in other films, particularly in DH2. I have a lot of respect for the casting directors for this franchise since they cast basically half of all of British’s well respected acting thespians. Even someone like Bill Nighy appeared, just for two scenes in DH1. Rhys Ifans came in DH1 and was terrific in the two scenes he was in. Ciaran Hinds also was in just one or two scenes and he was also very good. And all these actors felt like they gave it their all and that it wasn’t just a paycheck role.

When it comes to child casting, what strikes me is the amazing continuity the series kept. Its one thing to be able to keep the core child actors like Daniel Radcliffe, Rupert Grint, Emma Watson, and Tom Felton, but one of the most satisfying aspects of the series is that a lot of the core group of side characters were continuously played by the same actors. Not just Matthew Lewis and Bonnie Wright and the Phelps brothers, but also Alfred Enoch as Dean, Devon Murray as Seamus, and Joshua Herdman as Goyle. It would be very easy to replace some of these side characters over time and no one would notice, but the continuity makes it so much more enjoyable when in DH2 Seamus helps Neville blow up a bridge based on the fact that we know Seamus from the first movie was known for blowing stuff up. Its the small things that make it so great. Possibly the most accurate bit of casting was Evana Lynch as Luna. I honestly can’t think of a single actor more perfectly cast in the series than her. The core quartet were all lovely. Not always consistent, but more than good enough. I actually think Dan was the weakest actor when the series started, but he made remarkable improvement in the back half of the series, especially OOTP onwards. He is outstanding in DH2 I thought. Tom Felton didn’t always have to do much until HBP, but he was excellent in HBP. He does seem to have been stereotyped a little in the other roles I’ve seen him in but it still means he was great. Emma Watson’s performance fluctuated a bit. She was very good as a kid, then she was kind of bad in GOF and in parts of OOTP, but she found her footing again in HBP and especially in DH1, which I still consider to be her best acting performance to date. I think Rupert was always the most natural actor of the lot. He was probably the most hard done by the Kloves because they kind of typecast him as the comedic sidekick, but I can’t fault Rupert because he was a pretty gifted comic. Like Emma, when he got more scope in DH1, he did an incredible job. I would say Bonnie Wright is maybe the only one who didn’t fully grow into the role for me. It probably has a lot to do with writing, but she also really didn’t share any chemistry with Dan which made that relationship feel pretty flat and forced. But all in all the casting really made these movies and they elevate the movies significantly. But I admit all the craft behind it. Also, some of these movies are close to two decades old and the effects hold up quite well. I think there are scenes in the first movie that look a little dated, particularly the flying scenes, but subsequent movies seemed to find the right blend of practical and visual effects to make the movies look pretty timeless.

I think all the directors did their job really well. Columbus did a good job of bringing the childlike wonder of the initial books to life, Cuaron brought his more adult quality as the kids grew up, Newell ramped up the scale and the scope, and Yates managed to bring home the darkness. Definitely the films weren’t flawless. Like I mentioned before, there were times when some characterizations were off, some key subplots were eliminated or not handled well, some things added which were not needed etc... but the spirit of the books remains. I have a deep fondness for the movies as I feel I grew up with them as I am basically the same age as all the main child actors in the movie so I grew up and watched them grow up. So while they aren’t in the league of greatest films of all time, but its a remarkably consistent and enjoyable franchise that lasted an entire decade.

When it comes to Fantastic Beasts series, I was excited that Yates and Rowling were developing something new but I also feared what would happen given they didn’t have the structure of a book series to guide them. The fears ended up being fairly valid. The first FB is a pretty enjoyable film. I do think they did a good job creating a likable quartet of main characters and the actors all did a pretty remarkable job. It was also a refreshing change to watch Magical World from an adult POV as well as experiencing a new location and time period as well. The issue with the first film is that the film has two separate storylines which don’t really merge well together. The story of Newt, Jacob, Tina, and Queenie finding and recapturing the suitcase of magical creatures is actually very charming. The film does a nice job of creating some unique magical creatures and adding something new to the Magical World, but then there is a dark and gloomy second plot which doesn’t work as well because it essentially isn’t much of a story other than just showing Credence being abused and manipulated time and time again until the climax. It neither merges well tonally, nor plot wise. The way they try to put Newt at the center of the climax felt very clumsy and unearned. Overall, the first film still has sufficient enjoyable charm and I certainly like Redmayne, Waterston, Fogol, and Sudol. Farrell was a damn good villain. Miller was a little too mannered for my taste but I understand what he was going for. Voight is there for no reason at all in a perplexing subplot that goes nowhere. But still, more positives than negatives. FB2 is where the franchise really dropped the ball for the first time and Rowling’s inexperience as a movie screenplay writer became very obvious. The film is literally a setup for future movie, designed to get characters into certain places where the real story can start. the film essentially has no plot other than a bunch of wizards across Europe are looking for Credence and Credence is searching for his identity. There is really nothing else in the movie. The movie is overpopulated with characters, and Newt ends up even more incidental in this movie since he has no interest in going after Credence himself at all for 2/3 of the movie. All the things that were good about the first movie are lost as Jacob and Queenie only share two scenes together, Tina and Newt only share the last act or so together, Newt and Jacob end up only have a couple of scenes together. Its all rather boring and dull. The performances are fine. Depp was a good enough Grindelwald but I don’t think he was given any more to do other than just be surface level evil. One of the most inspired casting decisions was Jude Law as Dumbledore. While he doesn’t ape Gambon or Harris, he does capture the twinkling spirit of Dumbledore and his scenes are the best. The film also has a rather odd plot concerning Leta Lestrange. It is simultaneously important and completely pointless at the same time. I felt that the character had a compelling backstory and interesting potential but the film barely has time to address it any sort of depth before she gets pointlessly killed off at the end. The film also does a pretty bizarre character assassination of Queenie who makes decision that I really don’t understand. I guess this all boils down to the fact that this story may have worked in Rowling’s head as a book where each character’s internal thought could have been given more depth but what happens is that pretty much every sub story is pretty unsatisfying. Its certainly not an unwatchable disaster, just rather dull and devoid of the spark that the wizarding world movies should have. I hope they can turn things around because the film leaves things at a very peculiar juncture which doesn’t make much sense based on what we know of the HP canon.

#Harry Potter #fantastic beasts #ron weasley #hermione granger #newt scamander #fantastic beats the crimes of grindelwald #fantastic beats and where to find them #harry potter films

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thelanternlight · 3 years

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Witchy Asks!

Hello fellow witches! Here’s 50 Witchy Asks written by the-lunar-vixen. Please follow if you enjoy them. Blessed be!

1 What type of witch are you?

A gay one.

2 What deities do you like to work with, if any?

Angels, faery, guides, Mother God, Father God, Christ, saints, and ancestors. I'll also work with deities from various religions as they pertain to a spell or ritual (e.g. I may work with Hathor for a love spell).

3 Have you ever created your own spell?

Absolutely, most of the spellwork I do is original at least to some extent.

4 What’s your favorite time of year?

All the year is beautiful and wonderful for a myriad of reasons but Springtime is sacred to me.

5 Do you have a witch you look up to?

I think I have teachers that come and go in my life. They can be famous or not famous, witches or not, etc. Currently I'm loving Ember Honeyraven.

6 What makes you feel powerful?

Balance and freedom. Knowing that I'm on the side of what's good and right.

7 Do you have a favorite myth?

I'm an author and storyteller so I have many, many favorite myths. Off the top of my head I love the stories of Medusa, Apollo, the Christian Creation myth, Germanic and Scandinavian folklore, Anansi and his stories, Arthurian legends... the list goes on, but yes I LOVE stories. I think have so much meaning and wisdom to share.

8 Which famous/fantasy witch do you relate to the most?

I've grown up watching witches in movies, television, reading about them, etc so I've related to witches one way or another since day one. The Charmed Ones (all four) were role models for me when there were no role models for little, effeminate weirdos like myself as a child. The Sanderson Sisters were person heroes to me and I tried to emulate them from the very first time I saw the film; in fact those three are perhaps the original witches with whom I related the most. Since then there have been SO many wonderful characters in entertainment and in real life that inspired me so incredibly much that they've become a part of me.

9 Are you a wiccan?

I am not.

10 What’s the most unique item you’ve ever used in a spell?

I guess a dildo? I think 'unique' is a relative term.

11 Do you own any witchy books?

Apart from my personal book of spells I've owned many books on witchcraft but have parted ways with the majority of them. I'm currently trying to downsize the amount I have currently as it happens. Anybody want some free books?

12 Which misconception about witches annoys you the most?

That magic isn't real and this is all nonsense. I think it's especially irritating when people of other faiths criticize my own as if a prayer is anything different from an incantation. In fact I would argue that spells direct energy in a more concentrated way to affect change than simply petitioning a deity.

13 Have you ever created your own sigil?

You bet. Sometimes you just need something original and unique for the rite/spell.

14 What element are you most drawn to?

Water.

15 Do you have a familiar?

Some people use the word "familiar" interchangeably with "pet". I do have a pet but she's not my familiar. Other people define "familiar" as "spirit animal" which I'm not entirely sure is correct either. I'm in a bit of a gray area on this subject, but I see question 17 below touches on it as well.

16 Are you a part of a coven?

No. I've tried working with others to do magic but I think the synergy/chemistry has to REALLY be on point to do effective magic. Very often there's a clash of philosophies or practice that sort of spoils things all too easily whereas working alone allows me to concentrate so much better.

17 What’s your spirit animal?

Again this is a vague term that means different things to different people. I consider my spirit animal to be more or less my "familiar". When I was younger I was walking in the woods one evening praying really hard about something that was weighing very heavily on me. Then suddenly I looked up and there was this gorgeous and perfectly white stag looking back at me. He stood there for quite a while before slowly walking off again and the whole situation had such a profound sense of meaning to it. I saw the stag a few more times until finally, late one night while I was walking through the woods by a lake under the glow of a bright full moon I saw the stag one last time on the far side of the water. Ever since then the white stag has been sacred to me. So that's what I consider my spirit animal/familiar. It's a guide of sorts, a good omen, a sign, a representation of Spirit/Soul/God-energy and Self. I identify with it. So that's my spirit animal.

18 Do you do tarot readings?

I do indeed!

19 What’s your favorite witch movie?

I have several, but Hocus Pocus has been my favorite since I was a wee tot.

20 How many crystal do you have?

I actually don't really know. I don't go out and buy crystals but sometimes they come into my life and then go when they've served their purpose. For example, I had a beautiful large quartz that my grandmother had bought me from the nature store when I was a kid. I loved it so much. But one Halloween night I was doing a ritual with a friend of mine in the woods and ended up losing it. Interestingly, that friend was pursuing me romantically unbeknownst to me while also hooking up with the guy I was hooking up with and also really liked (ugh, gay culture). And during that ritual I was speaking with my grandfather (husband to the grandmother who bought me the quartz that I lost that night). So what does all that mean? I have no idea. But I figured all things considered maybe it was just time to let that thing go, along with other things that night.

21 What’s the most unique item on your altar?

I don't really have the privacy to set up an altar but generally I like my "work area" to be neat. Everything has a purpose and a meaning and a function. If I need to burn something I have the item/items, the cauldron, the lighter, oils, and anything else needed for what I'm doing. So nothing in particular stands out as "unique"... unless... Well I do have a small copper cauldron with a handful of dirt from my grandmother's house that I've kept for almost twenty years now. I guess that's unique?

22 Have you ever enchanted anything?

Oh god, yes, lots of things. I've enchanted things so as to protect them, or so that the item will protect someone else or some place... I've enchanted things for love, or to keep something or someone away. I've enchanted things to help in a greater ritual or spell. And so on.

23 What’s your religion?

I was raised Christian Baptist but following one horrible experience after another I've absolutely left that faith well behind long ago. I don't have a particular religion in the sense of organized religion. I'm spiritual and I cast spells. I also believe in science. I don't call myself a witch but I do everything a witch does.

24 Do you have a favorite crystal?

"I could no sooner choose a favorite star in the heavens".

25 What are some of your favorite spells?

Oooo I'd have to say I'm rather partial to love magic. I'm particularly good at it too.

26 What do you like to do to cleanse your space?

After physically cleaning a space I like to use the Violet Fire to cleanse an area as well as cleansing using a broom and a wand and/or athame.

27 When do you feel the most powerful?

When nature and I have our little moments. When the wind is warm and strong. When I'm out in a storm. When I can "feel" things growing during the Spring. The silence of a frozen winter night in the woods... Also when I'm cooking. I fucking LOVE charging a pot of boiling ingredients with good juju.

28 Do other people know you’re a witch?

A few people close to me know I practice witchcraft. Others think I'm just a little bit daffy.

29 Has one of your spells ever gone wrong?

Definitely. Mostly when I was still learning and practicing. Like this one time in sixth grade I cast a spell so that a popular girl in school would like me and we could start dating. Obviously since I was gay I didn't really want to be with her, I only did it because I wanted to be cool (although I did like her and we ended up being fairly good friends until we went to different high schools). That spell backfired and I ended up 1. not getting the result I intended because I was doing it for the wrong reason and simultaneously trying to force another to do something against her will, and 2. I ended up having one shitty fucking love life for the longest time.

30 What outfit makes you feel the most witchy?

Oh I love me a good cape. Even just walking around with a long blanket around me.

31 Have you ever tried astral projection?

Yes, successfully, several times. I like to use it for meditation. Often I go to the artic sea where there's just ocean, ice, and darkness.

32 Do you have any enchanted jewelry?

Probably.

33 What does your altar look like?

A space on the floor where I cast a circle and set up my stuff.

34 Have you ever seen a spirit?

YES! I've seen fairies, spirits, ghosts, shadows, sparks, heard voices, etc.

35 What’s your favorite spell sachet?

I can't say that I have one.

36 Do you have a favorite sigil?

I'm especially fond of the Sigil of Venus.

37 What’s your astrological sign?

Sun sign Virgo, Rising Pisces, Moon in Sagittarius

38 Have you ever interacted with a deity?

Well, yes, of course... per the previous questions.

39 What color are you most drawn to?

Purple.

40 Do you believe in past lives?

Without a doubt.

41 Where do you like to practice your craft?

Wherever I have privacy and calm.

42 What’s your favorite season?

Springtime, as mentioned previously.

43 Have you ever cursed someone?

That's not what my magic is for. Yes I'm familiar with the how-to, but no I don't partake in that kind of thing. The "worst" I've ever done is cast binding spells to keep someone from harming me and/or even coming into my presence.

44 How long have you been a practicing witch?

I'm telling on myself now but I'd say about 24 years practicing in earnest.

45 What drew you to witchcraft?

A natural inclination.

46 In what moon phase do you feel the most powerful?

The Moon itself does not change with the phases of its shadow. The phases are representational, of course, and its symbology can be evocative and meaningful, but otherwise the Moon is what it is. Therefore I'd have to say I personally feel most connected or at least most aware of the Moon when it's full. Else, I would say when it's waxing as that's when most of my spells are done simply because of the type of spell I usually work.

47 What’s your favorite holiday?

Wisterlimas, and then Halloween. Although I love all the holidays.

48 Do you know anything about your past lives? (if you believe in them!)

Yes, wow, I've done extensive work on discovering my past lives. I've lived in San Francisco at the turn of the century, in Scotland, England, France, Japan, China, as a woman, as a man... It's all very fascinating but you can't delve too deep because it's simply not necessary. You're not really *supposed* to know about your past lives. That defeats the purpose of the great forgetting once you're reincarnated. Yes, you can revisit the major themes and lessons learned, but one shouldn't really fret too much about what happened in the past.

49 Have you ever done an energy reading?

Certainly. I think most people do energy readings even when they don't know they're doing it. There's "reading the room" or "getting a bad vibe". There's also reiki and the like. And healing work. And of course magic is all about directing energy so to achieve a specific goal.

50 What time of day do you like to practice your craft?

Usually at night but it has more to do with the individual spell. Astronomical positioning is also important as well as weather, season, personal mood, day of the week, et al.

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the-hilda-librarians-wife · 4 years

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The Mistakes We Made - Chapter Fourteen

Summary: When her high school girlfriend comes back to town after two years with a baby and a terrible story she won’t tell, the Librarian has to deal with the feelings she had worked so hard to keep at bay.

Notes: The flashbacks in this chapter happen pretty much immediately after the ones in chapter 11, so you might want to read it again. Or not, it’s not really crucial to the understanding of this chapter. Anyway... this is it guys... The Talk. I hope it lives up to what you were expecting.

Read it on ao3: (chpt1) (chpt2) (chpt3) (chpt4) (chpt5) (chpt6) (chpt7) (chpt8) (chpt9) (chpt10) (chpt11) (chpt12) (chpt13) (chpt14)

The wind made Maven’s hair sway as she picked a key from her skirt’s pocket. It was a chilly Saturday night, and Mr. Kavindi had asked if she could work for three more hours today, in order for him to go home early and be with his wife on their anniversary. She had accepted, of course, not only because she was very fond of him, but also because she could use the money.

As soon as she had finished locking up the library’s doors, she turned around and saw a woman running up the long white stairs, and she sighed.

“Sorry, we’re closed for today.” The woman coming towards her had flowing red hair and a strong jaw. As she climbed the last step, Maven noticed she was taller than average. She wasn’t from Trolberg, which made her wonder what had happened for her to end up there. At the same time, Maven had the impression of having seen her before.

“Do you work here?” The quick climb ought to have made her breathless, but it seemed like her determination was bigger than her exhaustion.

Maven lifted an eyebrow and crossed her arms, wondering what other explanation the woman had for her having the keys to the library. “I do.”

“And you know Johanna, right?”

The question hit her like a blow to the chest, making her blink in surprise and step back. Ever since she’d seen her being driven away from the town, cheered on by all her friends, Maven had tried her damnest not to think about Johanna. And now this.

“Why do you want to know?”

Taking this as a yes, the woman took a step closer. She’d only seen the librarian once before, and only briefly, but it was enough to remember that this is who she wanted to talk to. “She’s my friend. We began talking at college, but now she’s suddenly stopped talking to me.”

The librarian stared at her for a beat before snorting. “Well, it does seem like she’s making a habit out of it.”

Not wanting to talk about Johanna to anyone, much less a complete stranger, Maven began walking down the stairs, hoping that the redhead would have the sense to understand that she wasn’t in the mood for chatting. No such luck.

“Please, I really want your opinion on this!”

“I truly don’t know what makes you think I even can help.”

Even though this woman was taller, she had difficulty keeping up with Maven’s large strides. “Johanna introduced me to one of her friends. Maybe you know her, she’s called Lucy.”

Maven scrunched her nose. Lucy had always been somewhat close to Johanna, so of course she knew her. She just wasn’t particularly fond of her.

“Well, she mentioned you when Johanna was distracted with something else. Said you were a former friend that worked in the library or something along those lines.”

When they were at the base of the stairs, Maven stopped and turned to the woman. “If Lucy was your source of information about me, you must be here because you hate me. I am, unfortunately, a very busy woman, so please schedule an appointment with my secretary so I can make some time to hear your complaints about my disgusting personality. Have a good night.”

“Oh, come on!” The woman moaned in the face of her sarcasm. “Just hear me out for one second! Lucy is how I knew where to look for you, but I know about your friendship with Johanna because she told me so.”

“My statement about scheduling some time to yell at me remains.”

“You are a smart one, aren’t you?!” She snapped. “Just answer me one question, then I know if you’ll be able to help me.”

Intrigued, the librarian nodded. It wouldn’t hurt to arrive home five minutes later, and she supposed she could give this woman the benefit of the doubt.

After taking a deep breath, the woman asked. “What do you think of Torrin?”

The sound Maven made could only be described as one of pure disgust. “He’s awful. He’s fake and entitled and cares about no one. Why?”

A smile slowly bloomed in the woman’s face, and she suddenly threw her hands up. “Oh, man!” She exclaimed. “I could kiss you right now!”

Not used to having someone agree with her about Torrin, Maven’s mind took a few moments to register the situation. “Don’t take me wrong, you’re a very pretty woman.” She said when she came back to herself. “But I’d rather you didn’t.”

The woman rolled her eyes. “You’re like, the first person who agrees with me. Ever since I’ve met the guy, I didn’t get a good feeling about this. Last time I was in their house, he kept staring at me like he wanted to murder me, it was so creepy. But the Lucy girl said I was imagining things, and I was just at Johanna’s parents’ house and they told me to stay out of this!”

“You tracked down her parents too? With all due respect, that’s very scary.”

“You were the only remaining option. Of people who knew her before, you know? If you said there was nothing wrong with him as well, I’d just give up and admit that I’m paranoid, but seems like I’m not!”

This woman’s enthusiasm and determination were somewhat entertaining to Maven, even though the topic was upsetting. She thought she’d have a good time if she ever sat down to talk to her about something else.

“I can guarantee that you’re right about him, Miss…?” She let the question hang in the air, hoping she’d grant the information.

“Willa. Willa Sandalwood.”

Willa extended her hand and Maven shook it. Her hand was large and calloused, making Maven assume she had a hobby that went beyond graphic design. Maybe something athletic or crafty.

“Willa, Johanna has made her choice. You can rest assured that she knew about all the problems with her current husband. She has simply decided to ignore it, even if I’ll have to agree with you and say she shouldn’t have. She’s chosen her path, and there’s nothing we can do.”

Willa looked down at her feet, her brow furrowed in thought. When she looked up again, she gave the librarian a smile. “Would you mind if we talked about this some more? I’ll even pay you tea if you want to.”

If the chance for getting information, even if just a little, about Johanna’s current situation hadn’t already made her make up her mind, the promise of tea would have. “Alright. I know a nice place”

“Cool!” Walking to the sidewalk, she gently tapped the seat of a red and black motorcycle that had been parked right in front of the library. “Can I give you a ride?”

Maven lifted her eyebrows. “I’m not climbing into a stranger’s motorcycle.”

“Oh.” She looked at the motorcycle with her brows creased, as if she hadn’t thought of that. “That’s understandable. Is it safe to leave it here for me to come back for it later?”

“Sure.”

They walked together as Maven led them to the Poet’s Retreat. Just as they turned a corner, she spoke up again, getting genuinely caught up in the conversation.

“So, you don’t trust Torrin, and Johanna suddenly stopped talking to you, is that right?”

“Yep. And I think she did that because he doesn’t like me.”

There were some people in the streets, mostly going out to meet their friends and family. They shot the two of them weird looks as they passed by, probably thinking Willa must be either insane or evil to be talking so comfortably to Maven.

“I just don’t see where I come in this. Why did you look for me?”

She shuddered. “When Johanna talked about you, she told me you were worried for her, but that you shouldn’t be. So I thought you might agree with me.”

“She told you about me?” Maven asked with a tremulous voice, a spark of hope being lit in her heart against her better judgement.

Willa gazed down and rubbed the back of her neck. She didn’t miss the hope in Maven’s voice, so she tried to let her down gently. “She did when I asked her about you, that day you wanted to talk to her after class.”

Suddenly, the librarian remembered where she’d seen the woman before. “You’re the person who was talking to her when she left the classroom, aren’t you?”

“Yeah, that’s me!”

Maven’s pace slowed down as she thought about that. When asked about her, Johanna had said she was well meaning; could this mean she still had a chance at a friendship with Johanna? Should she even want a friendship with Johanna at this point?

“You seem to be the only person left who can talk some sense into Johanna. It’s not asking for much is it? You just need to send a message. Tell her her friends are worried because Torrin has been showing… questionable behaviors. I think you can do that.”

“Yeah.” She breathed, somewhat terrified at the prospect of texting her oldest friend. “I think I can.”

_#_#_#_

Maven overslept. Hardly a sin, since it was Sunday and the night before had been extremely tiring, physically but mainly emotionally, but once she had woken up and still remained in bed for half an hour more, she knew she was only trying to stall the inevitable.

They would have to talk. For the second time in little more than a month, Maven would have to sit down with Johanna and discuss the things that had happened between them. She was burnt out just by thinking about it.

For two years, she’d done everything she could to forget all that had happened. She had locked up the hurt in a box deep in her mind and pretended it wasn’t there at all. And now, she would be expected to open up this box and calmly go through its contents. She just wanted to stay in bed, read a book and ignore the matter at hand.

But that would be acting like a coward. She’d been choosing the path that hurt less for all this time. Now, she had the chance to allow her heart to ache in exchange of the possibility of moving forward, and she’d be damned if she didn’t take it.

Telling herself that facing this would be the only way to move forward, she pushed the blankets aside and got up, heading straight for the window. She opened the curtains in one swift movement. She’d had enough of living in the dark.

She lit a scented candle she had lying around, wanting to be distracted by its sweet perfume while she dressed herself. She picked dark grey pants and a plum shirt, along with knitted coat with flower patterns that a great aunt had knitted for her. When was the last time she hadn’t had black in her outfit?

Not surprisingly, Johanna was already in the living room when Maven climbed down the stairs. She had Hilda in her arms, and though Maven couldn’t distinguish the words, it sounded like she was talking to her daughter. Whatever it was, it was making the child smile.

“Good morning.” Maven greeted, her voice still groggy from sleep. Johanna turned her head to look at her, and gave her a bright smile.

“Good morning! How are you feeling?”

She walked up to the sofa, smiling at the child as she turned her gaze to her. “Surprisingly well. The cuts are itching, but that’s to be expected, I suppose. How did you sleep?”

“As well as a person taking care of a baby can.” Johanna snorted. “Anyway, I made scrambled eggs. They’re in the counter, so help yourself.”

“Oh, thank you.” The eggs were still warm, so Johanna couldn’t have been waiting for her for too long. While Maven ate, Johanna gracefully questioned her about how things were going in the library and at college, in return talking about what she and Hilda had been up to while she was away at work. Those were interesting little nothings, and both of them knew that it was not going to take them anywhere. Nevertheless, it helped to calm them down for the conversation they would need to have sooner rather than later.

When she finished her meal, swallowing down a cup of tea, Maven took the plate to the sink and washed it. As she turned to the living room again, Hilda had been put in her stroller, where she was joyfully slapping at some toys that hang from the top of it.

“Johanna.” Maven said, calling forth every inch of determination she had to aid her in this moment. “Can we talk?”

Johanna sighed but smiled timidly at her. “Yes, I suppose we should, shouldn’t we?”

Maven sat down on the armchair, so as to give them both some space. She was silent for a beat, before getting herself to ask the question that had haunted so many of her days.

“Why did we break up?”

Johanna fixed her stare on her, her eyes restless. Her face twitched, her eyebrows coming closer for a moment, and funnily enough, it looked like she didn’t know the answer for that either.

“I don’t remember a fight, or a reason. So what happened? Ever since you began talking to Torrin, everything went downhill, but you never told me why.”

Maven stifled back a hiccup. It had been years. This shouldn’t still hurt so much, but goodness, all she wanted was to understand where had she gone wrong.

“It was not your fault.” She answered after trying to read her friend’s expression for long moments. “Not really. I’m afraid the blame of it isn’t even Torrin’s. It’s my parent’s.”

Maven felt surprise hit her, like a bolt of electricity shocking her awake. Not that her parents had been involved in their separation, of course. She’d long since known that, as soon as they learned about the two of them, they had done something. But it was nearly frightening to see Johanna finally admit it to herself.

Seeing the shock in Maven’s face, Johanna’s shoulders slumped. “It seems you were right about that. Looking back, not only did they do everything they could to make me stay away from you, but also to make me believe that I wanted to stay away from you. They drilled into me that you’d been trying to isolate me so that I had nowhere to go for affection but you.”

“Why did you believe?” She hissed, though her anger wasn’t directed at Johanna. Maven clenched her fists and took a deep breath. The last thing she needed was to to snap at Johanna when she’d just began to believe that Maven wasn’t as bad as she thought.

“They made it hard not too. Every time I tried to talk to you, there was a punishment. And every step I took away from you they seemed to reward me and trust me more.”

Maven nodded. She wanted to understand, she really did. So she did her best to stay quiet even as she had to admit to herself that she felt betrayed. Johanna was not a dog to be won over with rewards, so there must have been something else.

“You see, when I got closer to Torrin they gave me my phone again. When we began dating, they let me stop going to therapy, and so on.”

Maven tilted her head at that. She remembered Johanna mentioning therapy one day, but she never explained what that was about.

“They made me see this psychologist after they found out about our notes.” She explained after she, too, remembered that Maven didn’t know what that was about. “But I don’t think the guy even deserves to be called a psychologist. I’m quite sure my parents were paying him to convince me of your bad intentions as well. That, and to try and talk me out of liking girls.”

Maven gasped at that, eyes wide as she stared at Johanna. She had had no idea of the lengths her parents would go to. It was so much worse than she had imagined.

“Maven?” Johanna asked, concerned at the way she seemed to have stopped breathing.

“They tortured you?” It was a wonder Maven even managed to whisper it, startled as she was. She’d heard of the things done to people who were submitted to conversion therapy, and the image of Johanna going through that was making her want to vomit.

“No, no!” Johanna quickly assured, her hands spread in front of herself in a gesture meant to calm Maven down. “Nothing of the sort. Nothing physical, at least.”

“Okay” she breathed, her heartbeat slowing down to normalcy. “That’s… something, I guess.”

Uneasy silence fell over them, too lost in their own minds as the events of years ago replayed themselves on their minds, the blanks being filled. It was only broken when Johanna spoke.

“Maven, why didn’t you try harder?” She asked, her arms now crossed around herself and her gaze towards the ground, sounding miserable. “I understand that I didn’t treat you well, but you already knew what my parents were doing, didn’t you? At least to some extent.”

Maven blinked. Of all the things she expected to be called out for, keeping her distance hadn’t been one of them. “Yes. They never really liked that we were friends.”

“Then why didn’t you make more of an effort to talk to me? One of the things that helped me convince myself that you didn’t really care is that you just… let me go. And it hurt.”

“But I did that because I was respecting you! Everything you did led me to thinking you didn’t want me around!”

“But you knew those weren’t my wishes.” Now looking at her Maven again, only Johanna’s eyes revealed how miserable that had made her feel.

“But that wouldn’t have mattered! I know it wasn’t your fault, but you had begun seeing me like everyone else. There was nothing I could-”

“Stop it” Johanna hissed, sounding more frustrated than angry. “Don’t do that.”

Eyebrows lifted, Maven crossed her arms. “Don’t do what?”

“This! You’ve always done this. You’ve gotten it into your head that if someone acknowledges your reputation, any chances at a relationship with them are over. I understand that you don’t want to insist on people who treat you like an outcast, but don’t you see how so many people have the wrong impression about you because you never tried to prove them wrong?”

“I can’t change who I am, Johanna!” Her heart ached. She thought they were beyond this. She had thought that Johanna didn’t see her like that anymore.

“Thank goodness!” Johanna exclaimed. “Thank goodness you can’t change, because you’re an amazing person!”

Where once she had been sitting straight as an arrow, Maven let herself relax against the back of the couch, her brows drawn together. This was getting too confusing for her to follow.

“You’re a selfless, caring and interesting person. You’re intelligent and dedicated to the people you love, and no one knows this. Ever since you were a child, you just got it into your head that everyone would see you as some sort of monster and there was nothing you could do about it. And so you never did anything. You never tried to make friends, or call people out when they lied about you. You seemed to revel in your reputation.”

“I don’t owe anyone explanations.” Maven muttered under her breath, only loud enough for Johanna to hear her.

“That’s true.” She acknowledged. “But you can’t just give up on people like that. Trust me, I’ve learned my lesson about insisting on them even when they stop caring about hurting you, but the same way it has always been upsetting to see you not fighting for the respect you deserve, it harmed me even more to realize you weren’t trying as hard to keep us together as I was. It made me believe that I didn’t mean that much to you after all.”

Maven’s first instinct was to defend herself, to justify her actions even though she could see that Johanna’s words were not meant to be an attack, and nor was she meant to take it as such. Instead, she took a few deep breaths. It was hard to swallow that she’d had some part of the blame in their separation.

“I hadn’t realized that this was an issue during our friendship.” She said, organizing her thoughts in as clear and concise a manner as she could. “I am sorry that it has upset you before, and I’ll reflect more about it, I promise. But Anna, I did make an effort when it came to us.”

“You did in the beginning.” Happy as she was about how well Maven was handling this, she needed her to understand her pain, to acknowledge it. Maven hadn’t been the only one to feel like the other had disappeared.

“I did until you told me not to. I was respecting your wishes.”

Tilting her head to the side, Johanna made an effort not to frown. Although she knew she hadn’t at all valued their relationship enough after things went wrong, she’d never actually told Maven to stop talking to her. She knew that sometimes people remembered past events differently, but that sounded like a bit of a stretch.

“But I never did tell you to stay away. You said it yourself, at the time you knew most of my behavior was because of my parents.”

As she sighed, Maven hugged her coat tighter around herself, as if it could shield her from the memories. “Please don’t pretend that didn’t happen, Johanna. It hurt me. Quite a bit.”

To say that it hurt her was an understatement. She’d spent nights without sleep because of those words, even going as far as crying into her pillow. She’d believed those words, taken them right into her core, to the point where she distanced herself from everyone she loved for months, believing that she was doing it for them. The only person to have a meaningful conversation with her during that time was her mother, her health quickly deteriorating in the hospital. Meanwhile, Johanna tried to understand what she meant. This could be about the time when Maven tried to warn her about Torrin, but she didn’t think she’d told her to stop talking to her then. “Are you talking about that day in Ericsonberg?”

“No! I’m talking about those messages!”

“When I broke up with you?” From what she remembered, that had been the last occasion in which they texted each other, but Johanna was sure she had been perfectly polite. Of course, she understood why Maven would have been sad about it, but it still didn’t make sense.

“Johanna.” Maven sighed, burying her face in her hands. “Did you really forget?”

She couldn’t believe that something that had cut her so deeply, left her so bitter, had simply been forgotten by Johanna, but she supposed she’d had other things to worry about. When she lifted her face, she found Johanna staring at her phone.

“I can’t find it.” She said. “Our messages were deleted. But I really don’t know when I did that.”

“So you really did forget.”

“Maven, I didn’t just forget!” She ran one of her hands through her curls, clearly unsettled. “I have no idea what you’re talking about!”

_#_#_#_

Maven’s grip on the phone was hard enough to hurt her palm. Shock alone kept her from crying as she read over the words on the screen time and time again.

“It looks like you still haven’t understood this, so I’ll spell it out for you. I don’t care for you or any of your advices. I know you’re just trying to harm me, like you do with everyone, and I don’t ever want to hear about you again. Quit being a happiness sucking spirit and leave me the heck alone.”

Nothing could have prepared her to hear (or rather, read) those words from her best friend. For half an hour, she was rendered incapable of doing even the most basic of tasks, her textbooks lying forgotten on her desk as she stared out of the window into the overwhelming brightness of the day outside.

Her heart broke a little more with each beat. She’d been a fool to text Johanna. She’d been a fool to even care. She wouldn’t commit that mistake again. Johanna had picked her side, and it definitely wasn’t hers.

She’d saved Willa’s number on her phone, and called her as soon as her mind cleared over. The phone didn’t ring for long, and soon she heard Willa’s confident voice on the other side.

“Hey, good morning, Maven! How are you doing?”

“Forget about her.”

There was a beat of silence between them before the woman recomposed herself. “What?”

“You want an advice? Forget about her. She’s made it very clear how certain she is of her choices. So forget about her, and let her suffer the consequences herself.”

Willa had began protesting, trying to to get Maven to explain what had happened, but the librarian ended the call. Tears stinging at her eyes, her knees gave out under her and she was dragged down. She was left a sobbing mess on the floor, knowing that if the person who knew her the most thought these things, there was no way they weren’t true.

_#_#_#_

Maven had never been good with being vulnerable, so it showed a great deal of commitment of her part that she opened the messages on her phone, and scrolled down until she found her conversation with Johanna. Never had she felt as exposed as when she handed Johanna her phone, letting her see the words that had haunted many of her nights.

At first, she squinted at the phone, adjusting her eyes to the weak light at which Maven kept her screen. As her eyes began moving, her face gained a horrified look to it. Just as the librarian had a hard time swallowing the message the day she’d received it, she looked like she could not believe what was in front of her.

“Maven?” She said with a tremulous voice. “I- I didn’t write this.”

Maven sighed, admittedly annoyed by the denial. The harm had already been done, it was no use pretending that it never happened. She supposed Johanna felt guilty about it, now that she realized that Maven had only wished to help, but she wished she would just apologize. Maven now knew everything she’d been facing at that time, she could finally put that behind her if only she could hear Johanna say she hadn’t meant it.

“It’s okay, Anna. I’m not blaming you.”

“No, listen to me!” Clearly distressed, Johanna locked her gaze with Maven’s, her eyes asking her friend to believe her. “I swear, I didn’t write this. No matter how confused and hurt I was, I’d never tell you these things. On top of that, I don’t remember ever receiving your message! I never got to read it.”

Damn her for making Maven hope so fiercely. “So, you didn’t mean those things?” She asked, still having a hard time wrapping her mind around it.

“Those words aren’t mine!” Johanna raised her voice, anger burning in her eyes for someone who was definitely not Maven. “Only one other person had my password. He did this.”

A part of her mind wanted to doubt; it told her that if something sounded too good to be true, then it probably wasn’t, that she should ask for proof that Johanna wasn’t trying to make a fool of her. But what would she even get for lying to her? She knew she’d be forgiven either way.

What really did convince Maven was her anger. Johanna was a naturally calm person. She always had the patience to help, to understand. But the way angry energy rolled off of her in that moment left Maven with no doubts that she was telling the truth.

The librarian sat up taller, straighter. She couldn’t believe she, too, had been played by the man. “He didn’t even tell you about the message?”

Relieved that her friend seemed to accept her explanation, Johanna let her shoulders drop, relaxing them. “No, he didn’t. Oh goodness, I’m so sorry.”

“It’s okay.” She said sympathetically. Her soul seemed to grow lighter, some of the cracks in her heart being mended. She’d spent so long bitter over all that had happened, distressed by the things Johanna told her, and it had all been so pointless. She couldn’t say it felt like all the hurt melted away, like she had hoped it magically would. But it did feel so far away that the pain could barely touch her anymore.

“It’s not.” Johanna protested weakly. “This is awful. No wonder you were so mad at me when I came back.”

It was then that Maven realized just how awful she’d been when she met Johanna that evening at the cafe. How she’d screamed at her for things that weren’t even her fault and lashed out because of her pain, not even stopping to consider that Johanna had been the one who took the most hurtful fall.

“Oh shit, Anna! I’m so sorry.” Her hand went to her face, squeezing the bridge of her nose. “I was such a huge jerk that day. I’m so sorry.”

Johanna got up, and then sat down again, but in the end of the sofa closest to Maven, touching her wrist. “Hey, don’t beat yourself up. You had already apologized.”

That was true, but at the time, she hadn’t known just how hurtful her remarks could have been. After listening to the whole of Johanna’s story, that conversation gained many more layers.

“We-” Johanna stopped for a moment, caught by a wave of emotion. She moving her hand to touch Maven’s cheek. “We can’t erase the mistakes we made, but we can try to heal together.”

The look her friend gave her was filled with a mixture of hope and doubt, and Johanna wouldn’t have been able to look away even if she wanted.

“Do you really believe that, Anna?” She asked softly but with her voice filled with pain. She wished for nothing more than for that to be true, but she had to be realistic. Intentionally or not, they’d harmed each other too much.

“What do you mean?”

Maven could see in Johanna’s face that she was bracing herself for pain, and this is exactly what she meant. Could they really heal together if they were always waiting for the other to hurt them? It was extremely difficult for her, to be this close to happiness and to push it away, but it was something she had to say.

“Do you really believe we can heal together after everything that happened? What if I hurt you again?”

Brushing a strand of hair away from Maven’s face, Johanna inhaled deeply. “Yes, I do. And I’m not saying we can go back to where we left off. We’re different now from we were then. But what good did complete distance do to us?”

Maven leaned into her hand, trying to let her gentle touch soothe her.

“None.” She whispered.

“And if we hurt each other, we can apologize and work towards getting better. At least we can be friends, right?”

Tears stinging at her eyes, Maven had to control herself not to let her bottom lip tremble, and she could see Johanna’s situation was not much different from her own. She nodded weakly, afraid that any harsh movements would make this moment break. But then Johanna threw her arms around her, hugging her tightly, even if somewhat awkwardly with the arms of the couch and the armchair between them.

Maven was helpless as she began sobbing, shaking in her friend’s embrace, but it had been a long time since she’d felt so whole. After so long, she finally had real hope that they would put the past behind them and start over again. And maybe this time, she’d even feel like she deserved it.

#fic: tmwm #my fic #sketchbook ship #sketchbook ship hilda #hilda librarian #hilda librarian fanfic #hilda johanna #hilda's mum #hilda johanna fanfic

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millie1536 · 4 years

Text

Autistic Bessie meets Maria and Maggie for the first time! I finally finished it!

TW: Mentions of death (accidental, suicide and murder), Spiders, Mentions of tarantula death (AKA why you don’t handle tarantulas more than a foot off the ground)

Disclaimer: I love tarantulas but I’ve never had any as pets (Hopefully I can get one when I’m older) so everything about Ebony is based on what I’ve read and watched about them.

“Bessie, sweetheart,” Joan sighed as she shifted slightly to relieve some of the pain in her leg, “I need to get up, alright?” Bessie whimpered and snuggled closer to Joan. It had been three days since Joan had been able to do anything resembling housework and the house was beginning to resemble a dump.

“Why don’t you go clean Ebony’s terrarium?” Joan asked, trying to coax the young girl off her lap.

“Cuddles.” Bessie mumbled as she tightened her arms around Joan’s shoulders.

“I know, sweetie, I want to have cuddles, too,” Joan said gently, running a hand through Bessie’s long hair, “But I need to wash up and do some laundry and you told me yesterday that you needed to clean Ebony’s tank.” Bessie hummed in response.

“Then cuddles?” She asked, sitting up.

“Yes, once we’ve cleaned up around here we can watch a movie and cuddle for the rest of the day.” Joan agreed, smiling as she watched Bessie jump off her and run upstairs.

Just as the last of the dish water drained from the sink Joan heard a knock at the front door. She stood at the sink for a moment trying to remember if she had made plans with anyone before a second set of knocks got her moving.

“Oh thank god,” said a voice as Joan opened the door, “I thought we were going to have to break a window or something.”

“Maggie? What-“

“Your mum called,” Maggie told her, “She said you needed help around the house and I figured it was as good an excuse as any for us to meet our new niece.”

“I told her we should have called first.” Maria added.

“But where’s the fun in that?” Maggie asked, seemingly offended by the suggestion that she forewarn her cousin before dropping by, “So, where is this new kid of yours?”

“She’s upstairs,” Joan said, stepping aside to let her cousin and her best friend past, “I’ll go tell her you’re here. Hopefully she’ll come down once she’s finished with Ebony.”

“Who’s Ebony?” Maria asked, “Has she got a pet or something?”

“Yeah,” Joan nodded, “A tarantula.” Joan couldn’t help but laugh at the way Maria’s widened with fear.

“A tarantula?” Maria repeated, “As in a big fury spider that could kill all of us?”

“No, as in a big fury spider that, if she were to bite us, could hurt us but is definitely not able to kill us.” Despite Joan’s assurance that Bessie’s tarantula would not kill anyone Maria didn’t seemed convinced.

Between the three of them Maggie, Maria and Joan managed to tidy up the main area of the house in less than half an hour.

“Who want’s coffee?” Maria asked as they surveyed their work.

“I’ve only got decaf.” Joan warned as Maria moved towards the pantry.

“You? Decaf?” Maggie stared at Joan in disbelief, “Who are you and what have you done to Joey?” Joan just shrugged.

“I can’t risk a caffeine overdose with Bessie here,” She sighed, “and the easiest way to prevent it is to just take caffeine out of the equation all together.”

“How are you coping?” Maria asked gently, sitting beside Joan on the sofa, the coffee completely forgotten.

“I’m fine,” Joan smiled weakly, “It’s just caffeine.”

“I’m not just talking about caffeine, love,” Maria put an arm around Joan’s shoulders, pulling her into a side hug, “How are you coping with everything? How’s Bessie?” Joan sighed, letting her head fall onto Maria’s shoulder.

“I don’t know,” She admitted, “Bessie seems fine most of the time but it’s hard to tell. I just don’t know what I’m doing.”

“Have you asked your mum? She might have some tips, you were about Bessie’s age when you were adopted, weren’t you?” Maggie asked, trying to remember how old she and Joan were when they first met.

“Yeah,” Joan nodded, “But I didn’t have anywhere near the trauma Bessie has. My dad died in motorcycle accident a few days after I was born and my mum killed herself when I was 3 months old.” Joan shrugged, she seemed to be the least distressed of the trio when it came to her parents’ death.

“Do…” Maria paused, unsure whether or not she had any right to ask her question, “Do you know what happened to Bessie’s parents?”

“You remember John Blount?” Joan asked.

“The guy who went crazy and killed his pregnant wife? Yeah, I remember.” Maria nodded.

“Turns out they had a five year old daughter,” Joan told her friends, “They kept it out of the papers for privacy reasons.” A heavy silence descended on the room.

“And Bessie…” Maggie tried but could seem to get the words out.

“Yes,” Joan said, her bottom lip trembling slightly at the thought of it, “She hasn’t brought it up and I haven’t asked her yet, I’m not sure if I ever will.”

The three women stayed huddled together until the sound of small feet running down the stairs pulled them out of their comfortable silence.

“Bessie,” Joan said, in what was becoming her ‘mum’ voice, “Please don’t run on the stairs.”

“Sorry!” Bessie called out, louder than necessary.

“We’re working on volume control,” Joan said quietly to Maggie and Maria who couldn’t help but smile a little. Then as Bessie rounded the corner, “Bessie, this is my cousin Maggie and our friend Maria.”

“Hello.” Bessie gave a small nod, unsure of what she was meant to do.

“I didn’t know they would be dropping by,” Joan said gently, moving to kneel in front of Bessie, “If I had I would have told you, alright? I promise.” Again Bessie nodded then, leaning closer to Joan, whispered,

“What am I meant to do?” Joan smiled warmly at the young girl.

“There’s no right or wrong. You can stay with us, you can go up to your room or into the backyard, you could take Maggie upstairs to see your collection, or-“

“What about Maria?” Bessie asked, her head tilting to one side.

“Maria isn’t particularly fond of spiders.” Joan told her.

“I bet Ebony could change her mind.” Bessie said confidently.

“I’m sure she could,” Joan agreed, she herself had become rather fond of the spider, “But not today, alright?”

“Alright,” Bessie agreed before nervously looking over to the women on the couch, “Um… Maggie? Would you like to meet my pets?” She quickly looked back at Joan who gave her an encouraging nod.

“I would love to,” Maggie smiled widely, “What sort of pets do you have?”

“Well,” Bessie began as she lead Maggie upstairs, “I have Ebony, she’s a Brazilian Black Tarantula, then there’s…” Joan and Maria exchanged looks as Bessie and Maggie disappeared up the stairs.

“Something tells me the two of them are going to get along just fine.” Maria laughed.

“I mean that was never not an option, really. You know what Maggie’s like.” Joan grinned but there was a hint of something else in her eyes, sadness? Anger? Maria couldn’t place her finger on it but she decided that whatever it was it was between Joan and Maggie.

“She’s beautiful,” Maggie gasped as she looked at the large spider on the other side of the glass, “But I thought you said she was a Brazilian Black?”

“She is.” Bessie told her.

“But she’s brown.” Maggie said, not taking her eyes off the spider.

“Oh, that’s because she hasn’t moulted yet,” Bessie explained, “Sometimes they are brown until their first moult and then they turn black.”

“They can really change that much?” Maggie asked, looking to Bessie.

“Yeah, it’s really cool.” Bessie said proudly.

“Is she friendly?” Maggie asked, wanting to keep the conversation going. Bessie shrugged.

“It depends on the day. Tarantulas are kind of like cats,” She explained, “Sometimes they want to be near you and sometimes they don’t.”

“So, it’s an eight legged cat that can kill you?” A voice asked, Maria and Joan had been watching from the doorway as Bessie talked about her spider.

“The four legged ones can kill you, too,” Bessie told Maria, “People get scratched and they don’t realise how much bacteria gets under a cats claws and so they don’t clean it properly and sometimes people get really bad infections and some have died.” Maria turned to Joan.

“Remind me never to get a cat.” She said.

“You don’t have to be scared of animals,” Bessie said as she picked up a paintbrush, “Watch this.” Carefully so as not to spook Ebony Bessie removed the lid from her terrarium. Maggie and Maria watched in awe as the girl gently tapped the spider’s abdomen.

“See?” Bessie didn’t take her eyes of the animal, “She’s very docile today, if she had turned around and tried to bite the paintbrush then it means she wants to be left alone but she didn’t so I could pick her up if I wanted to,” Bessie giggled at the look of horror on Maria’s face, “Don’t worry, I’m not going to pick her up here. Whenever I handle her I move the tank to the floor so that if she falls she won’t get hurt. Tarantulas are actually really fragile, if I were to drop her from this height,” She held her hand level with her waist, “She’d die because her abdomen is so big that it would burst on impact with the floor.”

“You know a lot about tarantulas.” Maggie told the girl, again Bessie shrugged.

“They’re not like dogs and cats where you can kind of learn how to look after them as you go. You need to know what to do before you get them because some of them are really sensitive to temperature and humidity and stuff.”

“She seems like a nice kid.” Maria said after Bessie had gone to bed that night.

“I think she likes the two of you, too,” Joan sounded relieved, “She wouldn’t have told you all that stuff about Ebony if she didn’t like you.”

“Do you know what you’re going to do when you go back to work?” Maggie asked, it was clear that she had a suggestion.

“I’m not sure, I don’t want to start her at school right away.”

“What if we looked after her?” Joan chuckled at the mischievous glint in Maggie’s eyes, “We could move in here and help out with housework, too.”

“I don’t know, Mags.”

“Hey,” Maria said encouragingly, “Remember what we always used to talk about at Uni? We all said we wanted to move in together and no seems like as good a time as any.”

“Better than some, even.” Maggie added. Joan sighed and held her hands up in defeat.

“Alright, I’ll talk to Bessie about it.”

“Yes!” Maggie cheered.

“Just for the record,” Maria said seriously, “I will be legally changing my name to Auntie Ria.”

#six #six the musical #bessie on the bass #autistic bessie #autism #joan on the keys #maria on the drums #maggie on the guitar #tarantula #six fanfic #six fanfiction

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funyasm · 4 years

Text

get to know me more!

i was bored so i took this from @sarawatiness xx

✨ what do you prefer to be called name wise?

my name’s tiffany but since i’m not particularly fond of it, i’m fine with pretty much any diminutive/pet names. i like when it when people come up with their own nicknames.

✨ when is your birthday?

7th november.

✨ where do you live?

paris, france.

✨ three things you are doing right now?

listening to music, scrolling on tumblr and eating ice cream.

✨ four fandoms that have piqued your interest right now?

i’ve been watching a lot of thai BL dramas lately but i kinda got stuck on that one ship from my engineer (ramking). i really enjoyed where your eyes linger too, i only wish it had been longer. and before that i was really into the untamed (still am actually). also i just finished playing the last of us 2, which was pretty intense (i’m still shaken up), so i often check the tumblr tag, but that’s about it.

✨ how is the pandemic treating you?

i can’t really complain? i got to chill at home and not see people for two months, which was nice. quarantine’s been lifted here so i’m back to work since june, with a few adjustments (social distancing and all that). otherwise no one i know has been contaminated, so i’ve been lucky. i still struggle with the masks though, especially in this summer heat.

✨ song you can’t stop listening right now?

fire on fire by sam smith (blaming that really good ramking fanvid)

✨ recommend a movie.

i just watched relic (2020), and i really enjoyed it. horror is one of my favourite genres but it’s not easy finding real good movies among all the cheap jumpscares stuff. this one is the kind i really like: it uses the “horror as metaphor” trope, and it’s all about the atmosphere, making you feel uneasy without just going for gore and scary creatures. it deals with themes such as mother/daughter relationships, dementia, growing older, death, fear of abandonment, etc. also it’s directed by a woman, which is rare enough to be mentioned, and the cast is all women too, always a plus in my book.

✨ how old are you?

thirty-one.

✨ school, university, occupation, other?

i work in the public sector - to put it very simply, my service registers land ownership details.

✨ do you prefer hot or cold?

cold, i deal very badly with hot temperatures. surprisingly, winter isn’t my favourite season though: i have seasonal affective disorder and it hits bad when the days get shorter.

✨ name one fact others may not know about you.

my blood type is AB-, which is the rarest group. we’re also universal donors when it comes to plasma (if you’re AB type, consider donating plasma if you can, you can do so more often than with blood).

✨ are you shy?

i’m socially anxious, which i guess manifests in the same way? i have a hard time approaching people and talking to them, even on the internet. i tend to rehearse in my head what i’m going to say when i do, and if i’m thrown off my script i easily lose composure and start sputtering nonsense. and then i take a lot of time to really open up to someone and trust them. i never really stop being afraid i’m annoying. we love feeling insecure.

✨ do you have any preferred pronouns?

i go with she/her but i don’t mind they/them.

✨ any pet peeves?

i hate that i still have to justify myself when i say i don’t want kids, i hate being told i’ll change my mind one day, and i hate that my family is pressuring me into having children. i hate being catcalled and having some stranger’s opinion of my looks that i never asked for. i hate invasive people, who get into your personal space and touch you without asking, or look at what you’re doing on your phone like it’s okay to do so. i have a lot of pet peeves, honestly.

✨ what’s your favorite “dere” type?

i had to google this bc i had no idea there were other dere types than tsundere and yandere. honestly, i feel like these types are really cringy, but i’m gonna pick kuudere, i’d love to be more of a cool and collected person on the outside.

✨ rate your life 1-10. 1 being really crappy and 10 being the best you could ever be.

i guess, overall... 6? i’ve had my ups and downs, but it could have been much worse. some days are harder than others, but if i look at it with some distance, i think i’m not doing too bad. i have few friends but they’re really important to me, i have a small flat but it’s a place i can call mine, my job isn’t the best but far from the worst... if i could just stop overthinking everything for a second i think i would actually be happy with what i have.

✨ what’s your main blog?

i don’t do side blogs and i genuinely have no idea how people manage more than one blog. so yeah, this is the one and only.

✨ is there anything you think people need to know about you before becoming friends with you?

i’m painfully awkward. i’ll try to sound cool, and it might even work, but don’t be fooled: i’m really just an anxious mess inside. i’ll over-analyze everything and if your answers get shorter and/or i feel a change of tone i’ll probably think i’ve annoyed you and disappear in a hole lmao. i can also take time to reply, bc sometimes even just sending a quick text is asking too much energy of me. but i’m also easy-going, pretty understanding and ask for very little (if anything at all).

tagging @there-is-irony-everywhere @ladyautie @ivefeltthiswaybefore ♥

#tag games #personal

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eviesmyspiritanimal · 4 years

Text

Mother’s Day

Summary: It's the night before Mother's Day when Mal finds Evie in the middle of a panic attack, sitting on the couch by herself in the dark at 3:00 AM. Evie's had a nightmare and is utterly terrified, and it's up to Mal to help her sister recuperate. Mal and Evie best friend/sister feels. Thank you to @thatblueprincess for the suggestion!😊💙

Mal jerked awake, not knowing what had caused her to awaken. She furrowed her brow, realizing the television in front of Evie’s bed was still on but was silenced.

Mal and Evie were having one of their frequent sleepovers that they always loved to have with one another, and they had been sitting in Evie’s bed watching some movie that Mal couldn’t remember the name of at the moment. The last thing that the faerie remembered was cuddling into Evie’s side with her eyelids drooping further and further while Evie became just as drowsy.

Ultimately, nothing had changed in the room since they had fell asleep except for the oddly muted television.

But there was also the strange absence of Evie in the bed beside Mal.

Mal furrowed her brow, wondering what had happened to the other girl. Where had Evie gone? Evie wasn’t one to get up in the middle of the night, despite her habit of being a light sleeper. And obviously, the girl had muted the television.

Evie could have just went to the bathroom. But for some reason, Mal found that highly unlikely. It was almost as if some unconscious instinct within the girl was warning her otherwise.

Mal blinked a few times, trying to gather her wits about her as she made the decision to go and look for Evie. Mal got up from the bed, stumbling into the hall as she made her way through the house.

Mal looked around the house somewhat bleakly before her eyes settled upon an exceedingly strange sight.

There on the couch was Evie, just sitting and not doing anything whatsoever. Mal was almost immediately more aware as she observed the other girl. It was terribly strange for Evie to be sitting on the couch of all places. And in the dark in the middle of the night.

“What’re you doing up, E? It’s… Well, I don’t exactly know what time it is, but it’s pretty early in the morning,” Mal pointed out, laughing slightly as she questioned the other girl with some concern.

Evie did not respond to Mal’s words at all, and actually didn’t even act as if she had heard Mal speak. Mal furrowed her brow as she stared at the back of her best friend’s head.

“Hey, are you okay?” Mal questioned, hesitantly approaching the girl on the couch from behind. Evie didn’t move, just staring ahead into empty space. Mal furrowed her brow, moving to the side of the sofa slowly as she came closer to Evie.

“Evie?” Mal called carefully, and Evie never looked at her. Mal sat down next to the other girl at a safe enough distance that Evie could choose to move nearer or not.

Very unfortunately, Mal recognized this look. It was one that she oftentimes had on her face after a particularly rough night of dredged up memories.

But as Evie wouldn’t look at her at all, Mal knew she had to bring a stop to it.

Mal reached out for Evie’s hand gently, and as soon as her fingertips brushed the top of it, Evie jumped as if she had been shot, straightening immediately and her posture turning significantly rigid. Mal just kept her hand where it was, barely touching Evie, and she looked the bluenette in the eyes.

“Evie, it’s me,” Mal told her, and Evie just kept staring at her blankly as if some subconscious part of her brain was not allowing her to register this information. Mal raised her hand slowly, trying to bring back some piece of Evie.

Mal moved her hand nearer to Evie’s face, and the taller girl flinched violently as Mal brought her hand so close to her. Mal stopped beside Evie’s face, not backing down from the challenge, but she was letting Evie get used to the closeness. The entire time, Mal kept her eyes locked onto Evie’s.

“Evie, it’s okay, okay? You’re fine,” Mal reassured, despite the fact that she felt this rising sense of pure panic in her chest.

What could possibly be so wrong with Evie that she’d reject touch? She never reacted to Mal that way. She actually never turned down touch from anyone. She was a very physical person, and she loved to express her affections through a fond squeeze of the arm or a quick side hug.

With Mal, it went even further than that, and she would always make it a point to hug Mal full-on at least once a day. Not to mention how closely she liked to linger by Mal, always keeping an arm linked in Mal’s or an arm thrown around Mal’s shoulders lovingly. When they sat down anywhere, Evie was always the first to plop herself down as near to Mal as she could possibly get, her loving spirit always taking precedence.

Which was why it was so utterly terrifying for Mal to see her in this state. This was always Mal’s way of being, and Evie was infinitely more capable of handling these sorts of situations. Mal didn’t really know how to handle Evie when Evie was the one being like Mal.

So after a long moment, Mal started moving her hand closer to Evie’s face. Evie stiffened immediately, and Mal almost thought she was going to bolt again, but she stayed remarkably still. In fact, if her widened eyes were anything to go by, Mal could easily assume that she was too scared to move at this point.

It pained Mal greatly to move her hand to touch Evie’s face, knowing how terrified Evie was. But Mal had to show the other girl that she would not hurt her, and she knew that in some subconscious piece of Evie’s mind, the bluenette knew Mal would never hurt her.

Mal’s hand finally made contact with Evie’s face, and Evie just stared at Mal, every muscle in her body tensed as firmly as she could make them. Mal could feel Evie’s jaw tightened ridiculously against her hand.

“It’s okay. It’s me. I’m not going to hurt you. I would never hurt you,” Mal told her softly, not knowing exactly how to handle this, but jumping into it headfirst, nonetheless. After all, that was what Mal did best--- jump into situations that she had no idea how to approach and make the best of it.

Evie let out a shuddering breath, watching Mal closely, and Mal thought that she could see the slightest glimmerings of recognition in her eyes.

“I promise. It’s okay. You know I’d never hurt you. You’re my Evie, my best friend in the whole world. I’d never hurt my Evie,” Mal assured her, attempting to make the girl loosen up at least a little.

Evie looked at Mal for a long moment, and finally closed her eyes, the tension letting up painstakingly slowly as she incrementally leaned into Mal’s touch to her face.

Mal very carefully moved her thumb in gentle strokes along Evie’s cheek just beneath her eye as she chipped away at the girl’s terror. At the movement, Evie’s eyes opened quickly, but not as quickly as they could’ve.

Mal nodded to her slowly, keeping her eyes firmly locked upon Evie’s. Evie swallowed hard, and Mal just sat there stroking Evie’s cheek for the longest time as she tried to make the bluenette trust her enough to move nearer.

After what felt like forever, Mal slowly raised her other hand, making sure that Evie saw it, and she left her palm extended out flat between them. She was hoping that Evie would get the idea to take it without Mal’s insistence, but she was willing to wait her sister out.

Evie watched the hand for a long moment before she moved her hand just barely toward Mal, hesitating for a long moment. She looked back up at Mal uncertainly as if she were scared to take it, and Mal nodded in approval. Evie then, with only a second’s length of reluctance, placed her hand in Mal’s.

“Yeah, there it is. See? It’s all good, E. You’re fine,” Mal reassured her, and Evie looked somewhat more comfortable as she seemed to gain more of an awareness of what was around her.

Mal slowly laced their fingers together, making sure that it was a gradual enough movement that it wouldn’t spook Evie. Evie didn’t react nearly as fearfully as she had before, and she just watched Mal’s fingers as they moved through her longer digits.

They sat there like that for a long time, and Evie slowly started to look around much more, seeming to have gained more of an awareness of where she was.

Something must have scared Evie terribly to bring her to a state of pure panic attack. Mal could count on one hand the amount of times that Evie had had a panic attack. Mal was the one that always shut down entirely, and it was always when she had traumatic remembrances usually brought on by dreams that took her back to the Isle.

Mal looked at Evie closely, wondering if that was what had happened to the girl. The largest extent that nightmares usually had affected Evie back when they were at Auradon Prep was when Evie would hesitantly approach Mal’s bed and very shyly and very worriedly express that she had a nightmare to which Mal would reply with the command that Evie get in bed with her.

Mal’s eyebrows slightly raised as she realized that Evie was very carefully and hesitantly working herself toward Mal’s side and starting to do her usual snuggling. She easily welcomed it, though, and she let her hand slip away from Evie’s face in favor of resting on the back of the couch.

Evie didn’t even stop as she slipped in closer to the other girl, carefully placing her head on Mal’s shoulder as she started to slowly sink into Mal. Mal then moved her arm down from the back of the sofa and allowed it to wrap around Evie’s back. Evie sighed slightly, and Mal moved her head so that her cheek was pressed against the top of Evie’s head.

And Mal just held her like that for a long time, giving Evie time to start talking of her own accord.

“You need to go to bed, M. It’s three o’clock in the morning,” Evie finally spoke up, her voice rough and a much huskier version of its usual sweetness but her ordinary loving emotion still very much present. Mal furrowed her brow, looking down at the bluenette as she was surprised that Evie knew the precise time when Mal herself hadn’t.

“I could say the same for you,” Mal told her, and Evie didn’t say anything in response. Mal attempted valiantly to hold her tongue, knowing that it was likely best if Evie came around of her own accord.

However, there was only so much tongue-holding that the faerie could do before she had plain lost her ability to wait any longer.

“Evie?” Mal prompted, hoping that Evie would understand what Mal was trying to hint at without the purple-haired girl actually having to go into the details of what she was implying. Evie was deathly silent, and Mal knew that Evie had to know what Mal had been attempting to address.

“I… I had a nightmare,” Evie expressed, and Mal moved the arm that she had around Evie so that she could thread her fingers through Evie’s hair.

Evie sighed deeply, closing her eyes, and the corners of Mal’s lips tugged into the barest of smiles. She knew how much Evie enjoyed her hair being played with. It was one of her most favorite things.

“You wanna discuss?” Mal offered, and Evie’s eyes slowly opened as she looked suddenly very unhappy with the entire situation, despite the fact that she was leaning into Mal’s hand that was scratching gently at her scalp.

“It was about Mommy,” Evie expressed finally, and Mal internally winced at the use of such a fond, sweet nickname used for such an evil, hateful woman. But Mal knew and perfectly understood why Evie referred to her in that manner. It was something that Grimhilde had firmly instilled within Evie, and Mal personally thought it was some sort of cruel, sick sense of forcing Evie to be further in submission to her mother.

“I’ve been having them for several days now, but tonight was the worst I’ve had yet,” Evie murmured, her voice barely audible.

“You haven’t had any of those for a long time. Actually, since we left Auradon Prep,” Mal pointed out worriedly, and Evie nodded slightly, turning her head and nuzzling her nose against Mal’s neck as she closed her eyes.

“I don’t know why they’ve come back. I’ve been having them every time I go to sleep, and they just seem to be getting worse. That’s part of the reason why I asked you to come over tonight. I thought that having you laying there with me would keep them away” Evie expressed in that trusting, loving manner with which she was so inclined to always address Mal. Mal smiled softly for a moment, squeezing Evie gently, but it quickly faded away as she scanned her brain desperately as she tried to figure out some connection.

“What have they all been about?” Mal questioned, and Evie was silent for a moment, seemingly hesitant to say what was the main focus.

“Mommy,” Evie replied shortly, and Mal nodded slowly, trying to figure out what could possibly be going on.

“M, what’s tomorrow?” Evie suddenly asked, her voice having a strangely un-Evie-esque sound to it, and Mal’s quickly scanned her mind for the precise date.

“Sunday,” Mal simply replied, not understanding Evie’s sudden need to know the date but at the same time willing to help Evie in any way that she possibly could. Evie pulled away from Mal’s neck as she looked at her sister, her eyes filled with pain.

“Tomorrow’s Mother’s Day.”

Mal’s throat went dry and her jaw slackened as she realized precisely why Evie’s dreams had been bothering her so badly and had made such a significant comeback. Mother’s Day had always been a very touchy topic for Mal, Evie, and Carlos. In Mal’s case and what Mal suspected to be Carlos’s case as well, she simply tried to forget the fact that the holiday even existed and didn’t even attempt to keep track of it.

Evie had always had a harder time forgetting about it that easily, and Mal had known this well. It just hadn’t really occurred to Mal because Mal’s way of forgetting the holiday had worked too well. Evie had a bad habit of sitting there and dwelling on how badly her mother had done her and how she endlessly hoped and dreamed that her mother might love her despite that treatment. It wasn’t that Mal and Carlos didn’t have the same thoughts, it was just that Evie had a tendency to really focus on it too much.

Obviously, she had been resorting to that same habit.

“E, I---” Evie just shook her head, interrupting Mal’s words. Mal let a breath out, just watching Evie carefully.

“I guess I knew Mother’s Day was coming. Just not really consciously. I knew I’ve been thinking a lot more about her, but,” Evie trailed off, shrugging as she pulled away slightly, and Mal could easily see that hard swallow and that slight sheen to her eyes that was a bit glassier than ordinarily.

Mal clenched her jaw, immediately feeling a surge of protectiveness over the other girl. Evie was usually the emotional protector of Mal, but anytime that Evie needed emotional guarding, Mal came in swinging, ready to destroy anything in her path. Mal suddenly felt the urge to personally take care of the Evil Queen. After all, now that the barrier was down, it would be tantalizingly easy to do.

But Mal knew she couldn’t do that. As much as Evie was hurt by her mother, she still would never wish any harm toward anyone. She was not a fan of revenge in the same manner that Mal was.

However, where Mal was concerned, Evie would endlessly pursue revenge, even in the basest and sometimes silliest of forms. When someone did Mal wrong, if Evie hadn’t helped Mal gain some sort of vengeance, Evie would just give them the silent treatment and be as rude as she could possibly be toward them. Sometimes, she would keep up the rude manners even if they had gained retribution.

Mal watched her sister carefully, knowing that this was hurting Evie greatly. Mal sighed deeply, leaning over and resting her chin on Evie’s shoulder as she watched the other girl’s face. Evie offered just the barest of glances but mostly kept her eyes in front of her.

“M, does… Did… Did she love me?” Evie somewhat brokenly questioned, and Mal swallowed a bit, trying to think of a good response that would hopefully not hurt the other girl. Mal obviously couldn’t tell Evie what she truly thought because that would be brutal, but giving Evie false hope seemed torturously cruel.

“I don’t know,” Mal finally settled upon answering something that was indefinite, allowing Evie to back her own judgement on this topic.

They were quiet for several moments more until that telltale whine arose in Evie’s throat, signaling the incoming tears as she shook her head.

“Why do I get so upset about her?” Evie breathed before sobbing. Mal wasted no time in wrapping her arms around Evie. Evie immediately latched onto Mal, her cries the only sound to be heard in the dark room. Mal stroked Evie’s hair, pressing her cheek to the side of Evie’s head as Evie clung on.

“It’s okay, E. You can be upset. That’s perfectly normal,” Mal explained to her, trying to make the girl feel at least a little better about the entire situation.

“I’m so stupid, M. She has never loved me, and she keeps hurting me, and I keep… I keep hoping that something will change,” Evie bawled, trying to control her voice in the midst of her hopeless sniveling.

Mal felt a deep pang within her heart as she held Evie in her arms, the taller girl somewhat engulfing Mal’s form.

“You are not stupid. You hope, and that’s what makes you beautiful, E,” Mal assured her, feeling a lump in her throat at Evie’s statement, and Evie pressed her forehead against Mal’s shoulder, hiding her face as she wet Mal’s t-shirt with her tears.

“But it’s stupid when you keep loving someone that never will love you back,” Evie said, and Mal was immediately brought to thoughts of her own mother.

While Maleficent had grown incrementally and now had the ability to speak in lizard form, she certainly was no sweetheart and was the farthest from a nice person that Mal had ever seen. Maleficent did not really seem as if she loved Mal at all, which, as much as Mal loathed to admit it, killed Mal inside.

So Mal guessed she really didn’t handle her mother issues as differently as she originally thought Evie did, after all.

“Evie, it’s not stupid. I completely understand where you’re coming from,” Mal told the bluenette, and Evie’s shoulders temporarily stopped their shaking as she slightly pulled back from Mal to look into the faerie’s green eyes. Evie pressed her forehead to Mal’s, and Mal let out a puff of air.

If someone had told Mal six hours ago that she would be sitting here about to pour her heart out about her mother, Mal would’ve likely laughed right in their face before leaving them in the dust with all of their prophetical crap. But here she was, about to open her heart for the millionth time just to make this girl before her feel better.

It was really nothing new. Mal would do anything to alleviate Evie’s pain in any way that she could muster. She loved her best friend more than anyone.

“My mother treated me like dirt, E. She treated me like I was some giant failure of a henchman that she kept around out of the barest kindness of her heart and that just happened to be her miserable disappointment of a daughter,” Mal expressed, and Evie nodded. Mal quickly felt Evie’s hand move Mal’s arm from around her in favor of lacing her fingers through Mal’s.

Mal knew Evie already was perfectly aware of Mal’s issues with her mother. Evie knew everything there was to know about Mal, and she likely already knew what Mal was about to say. But Mal still felt Evie needed to hear it out loud.

“And… Through all that,” Mal swallowed hard, blinking rapidly in an attempt to compose herself. Evie’s grip tightened a bit around Mal’s hand.

“Through all that, I still loved her,” Mal told Evie carefully, holding back tears of her own at this point, and Evie’s watery brown eyes offered a world of wordless consolations for the faerie.

“I still love her,” Mal admitted, and Evie nodded knowingly with a sad look in her eyes as she watched Mal.

“I know, M,” Evie replied, caressing Mal’s nickname with extra love and care. Mal closed her eyes for a moment before reopening them and meeting her sister’s gaze once again.

“So, don’t feel alone,” Mal told her carefully, trying to control her voice as she spoke. Evie didn’t need Mal’s tears. She need comfort, not something that would make her feel worse.

“Just… Just know that you don’t need her. You have so many people that love you and value you,” Mal pointed out, and Mal felt her heart lift as she noticed the slightest hints of a smile on Evie’s face.

“You know, you’re probably the most loved human being that I know. I don’t think I’ve ever seen any normal person that hates you,” Mal informed her, and Evie couldn’t help but chuckle a bit in response to Mal’s observations, averting her gaze downward as she mustered some semblance of humility in the midst of her very much growing ego as a result of Mal’s stroking of it.

“So, please. Please don’t let her affect you, E. I love and appreciate you so much, and ol’ EQ is blind if she sees anything but a beautifully golden girl when she looks at you,” Mal assured her, and Evie met Mal’s eyes again as she listened to the faerie’s words. Evie looked at her best friend quietly for a moment, and bit her bottom lip slightly before speaking up.

“Don’t let Maleficent affect you either, M. You’re worth more than you could ever know,” Evie replied to her, and with only a few words, Evie coaxed a few of those tears in Mal’s eyes to slide down the faerie’s cheeks.

Once a few beats had passed, Mal laughed slightly.

“Look at us. Mourning over the wrongdoings of a couple of old bats who’re not even worth our time,” Mal joked a bit, trying to lighten the mood. Evie chuckled once, looking at Mal with that overwhelming sisterly love that she held in her heart so greatly for Mal.

After a moment, the two of them moved so that Mal was snuggled against Evie. They both were attempting to hold each other as equally as they could manage considering the fact that Evie had a tendency to wrap around Mal’s form when they were both sitting on even surfaces as a result of the bluenette’s size difference.

And so they sat together, closing their eyes and cuddling into the couch as they enjoyed each other’s presence.

They were two broken, motherless best friends, but with the love that they held together for one another, they were truly one whole.

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pettyprocrastination · 5 years

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And Scene Quentin Beck x Reader

Word count: 1655

Warnings: Spoilers for Spiderman: Far from Home, fake gore and murder/near suicide depicted in a play. Crappy writing and editing lmao.

Fic summary: You’re a local actress and quite possibly the only person in the world who is able to deal with Quentin’s pretentious bastard bullshit enough for him to see you as a friend (and perhaps more). Will you two be able to tell when the curtains close or will whats from a script mix into what’s from your hearts? (the most CLICHE FUCKEN SUMMARY LMAO)

chapter summary: After a particularly moving performance from his closest (and only) friend in a local play, Quentin realizes what Mysterio has been missing thanks to her breathtaking performance.

Chapter one

You helped create the role of Mysterio more than anybody else on Quentin’s team did.

He came to you with every idea, every costume sketch and every detail of his backstory, wanting you to read over it and give him your opinion on it. If you said you didn’t like something, he trashed it. If you said to add something, he did it without hesitation. He claimed it was because you were an actor, a small one who only did local plays, but still the best damn actor he knew.

Others on the team whispered that it was because there was more to your “relationship”.

And truly, there was. But he would never let them know that. He didn’t let them know that he did his damnedest to see every performance you had, whether he’d be front row or in the back of the theater with a fond smile. He didn’t let them know that in college when he was a pretentious engineering student, you were a bubbly theater major who was the only person on campus that could get him to step away from his latest project, the only person that could get him to laugh so hard he couldn’t breathe, make his palms sweat and knees knock like he was a goddamn schoolboy staring at his crush.

They didn’t know that even though you two shared an apartment with two rooms it wasn’t an oddity for one of you to come to the other’s late at night, longing to fall asleep in each other’s arms and then wake up early and get ready for the day with no mention of it. They didn’t know he wanted nothing more than to hold you tight the morning after and never let go, to kiss you with all the emotion and passion he had bottled up, something he’d dreamed of doing since he was nothing but a little shit in college who thought he was better than everybody else.

Even you didn’t know that last one.

It wasn’t until one late night that you truly helped shape Mysterio with a mold that Quentin wouldn’t have ever thought of using in his life.

“It’d be cool if you had another person on the other side of the spectrum on this whole thing.” You pointed at him with a potato chip before popping it into your mouth. Quentin had just gotten home from spending hours with the illusion tech to choreograph the first fight. It was all coming together perfectly but something wasn’t right, something was missing. He just couldn’t figure out for the life of him what the fuck it was.

You were tucked up on the couch underneath a heavy blanket, some superhero movie was playing on the TV but your eyes were more focused on the script in your hand. The final performance for your current play was in two day. It was some Greek tragedy that Quentin didn’t know all the details of, besides that you were the main character and it involved you getting caked in blood. “You know,” You said offhandedly. “-to really sell it.”

Quentin didn’t understand what you meant. The gears in his head so tired from running perfectly all day so much that now all they did was clash and grind against one another, leaving the man to frown and tilt his head to the side like a confused puppy dog.

“You mean, like a dirty cop?” He was surprised you would even suggest such a half brained plot like that. That was much too dangerous, too easy to be torn to shreds if one of those ties got caught on one somebody who couldn’t play the part as well as him.

Which was everybody.

You snorted and rolled your eyes. “No dumb-ass, another character. You know, a sidekick or a damsel in distress.” He found himself hanging on your words, cautious at the thought of bringing in somebody knew to his project, but intrigued enough to let you ramble.

“-Like your very own Lois Lane-” it was then that you flashed a shit eating grin his way before pointing to the TV.

“-or your very own Catwoman if you’re feelin’ nasty.”

He looked at the TV to see on the screen that the main hero, Batman by his guess (ever since actual super heroes became “normal” he found the movies too nauseated to actually) in heated battle with a woman in a skintight catsuit, he assumed that was cat woman. Every punch he threw she dodged, usually with some sultry line tossed his way before she eventually escaped him all together like a vixen made of smoke.

“But then again, there’s no way in hell you’d let anybody share the spotlight with you on this.” You flicked his nose and smiled. Even though it was at his expense he felt his hands sweat. “It’s a miracle your big head can fit in the stupid fishbowl helmet of yours.”

He rubbed the tip of his nose, seemingly deep in thought but still realizing your not so subtle dig. “You said you liked the helmet!”

You merely laughed at him and continued to read your script.

Quentin had just barely made it to see the curtains open to reveal you on stage. He was out of breathe, not even mumbling apologies to those already in their seats as he stepped over them, practically clamoring over seated audience members to get to his own chair.

You had told him the story was a tad dark, but he was still surprised that at how well you played the role.

You were a woman in ancient Greece, who fell deeply in love with a man of royal blood from a far off civilization. So caught up in the infatuation you feel upon first meeting him, you both quickly get married and move away to his home. The story followed your character as she slowly learns that the man she supposedly loves was not as sweet as he was on their first meeting. He was cruel and brutal, as well as unfaithful. His twisted nature was shared by the entire royal family, stretching from your husband cheating on you to ordering attacks on the commoners for no other reason than “to keep them from knowing anything else.”

And eventually, his darling wife had snapped. In the middle of the night you killed the entire royal family in a fit of rage and take over their rule as a queen with a fair but firm hand.

You had a long monologue near the end, one that Quentin heard you practice day and night for a month nonstop. Hell, he even helped you run lines a couple of times and when he was feeling nice. And damn if all the practice and memorization quizzes didn’t pay off. You stood at the center of the stage, white dress stained in blood clinging to your figure as you spoke to the audience.

“Was I not enough for him?” You wept, trembling hands holding the blood stained dagger to your chest. “Was it not enough to have a wife, complacent in her own entrapment for him? Was it not enough to have a kingdom of civilians, obedient in their own slaughter and torture for him?!” You voice shook as you screamed to the audience. The emotion and desperation was so real Beck couldn’t help but feel his heart twisted by the picture painted before him. A woman so hurt, so alone and filled with trauma she felt no worth, no way out other than to take her own life after taking that of her wretched husband’s.

“I am no better than him.” You spat, the tears on your face mixed with the blood spatters on your cheek and onto the soaking dress that clung to your body. “I am no better than that cruel man who took the lives of others to keep them obedient. It isn’t enough that I did the same, because I was so tired, so scared of the man I thought I loved!” You raised the dagger higher before choking out. “Perhaps, in another life I will be a better wife to my beloved.”

Everybody expected you to plunge the dagger deep into your stomach before dropping to the floor in a dramatic and cliche death before the curtains close on you. But instead, you stopped mid swing, knife inches away from your stomach and eyes wide as if you had just come to your senses.

You dropped the dagger onto the floor and the sound echoed throughout the silent theater.

It was then that your shifted into a completely different character.

You stood suddenly tall, shoulders squared and head held high in a deep contrast to the stature of you staying meekly curled into yourself at your husband’s side through the entire play. Your hands stopped trembling and laid at your side, your eyes were no longer wide and afraid, but cold, focused, confident.

“Perhaps I wasn’t a proper wife.” You spoke, before your lips curled into a predatory smile. “But I will be a magnificent queen.”

The curtains quickly shut and the audience applauded, but Quentin stayed in his seat as his mind ran a marathon.

He had always been impressed by your talent in acting, but that performance left him in awe. How quickly you were able to go from a woman to weak and distraught she was willing to take her own life, to ruthless, strong-willed, and stone cold in a matter of seconds left him in awe of you.

But soon after as the fog lifted from his brain, the cogs in his head began to move in sync once more, and he realized he had found the final piece to Mysterio that he had been lacking for so long. Quentin quickly jumped over the seats, pushing his way through people moving to leave or congratulate the actors so he could get to you first. His body practically buzzing in excitement to give you praise but to also let you know that Mysterio would finally be complete. All thanks to you.

He had finally found his Catwoman.

Ayyyyy chapter one is donezo!! (It’s probably rough as SHIT so I might edit it tomorrow when I get off of work but I really wanted to get started on this and put it out. I love mcu mysterio so much that bastard has my heart!!! This is going different than my other fics because the reader is…kind of a baddie in this one i guess?? But let me know if you enjoyed it! Send me hc’s, your thoughts on it, or if you’d like to be tagged in it! Love you all

#spiderman ffh #spiderman far from home #spiderman ffh spoilers #quentin beck x reader #quentin beck #mysterio x reader #mysterio #and scene #far from home spoilers #spiderman far from home spoilers #jake gyllenhaal #this is probably shit but #thats LIFE BABEY

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minaminokyoko · 4 years

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The Old Guard: A (Disappointed) Spoilertastic Review

I hate 2020.

For many reasons, of course, but there is this particular nastiness it seems to have, like it’s getting revenge on us for our past and current sins.

And the Old Guard feels like part of that revenge.

I haven’t read the graphic novel, so please understand the following review is based on the film alone. I was on board with getting to see my queen and girl crush Charlize Theron kick some ass and rock that bangin’ brunette pageboy haircut that only she can and yet what this movie gave me is a raging case of 2020. This concept isn’t anything new or original, but it should have been a walk in the park. It has solid actors and a simple premise.

So why was it total bullshit?

I’m so angry. I’ve said before how certain movies feel like someone had all the ingredients to make a hot, delicious pizza and yet when they combined them, they came up with Brussel sprouts somehow. This movie is a lazy mess. It has about a handful of decent moments, but overall, it’s negligent. It doesn’t care. It doesn’t care to show you its potential. It’s just a tired, by the numbers, dull action movie that’s wasting the talent that it managed to gather together. Maybe that’s why I’m so mad. It’s clear that this could have been fantastic, but the apathy in the writing turned into a grey, flavorless bore.

Sigh. Let’s swing the ax already and get this over with.

Overall Grade: C-/D+

Spoilers ahead.

Pros:

· I signed on for Charlize Theron and at least I got what I wanted, which was her kicking ass but still giving us a few soft moments of vulnerability. This is why I will follow this woman to the grave. Charlize Theron is one of my favorite actresses because she’s so good at showing what women are capable of as characters. She has such a wide range of acting skills, giving us a cold, bitter woman but at the same time showing hints of inner kindness and strength and love. This movie barely has many redeeming qualities, but she’s by far one of the best parts. The movie knows it, as she is the only one we really get to “know” over the course of the film.

· Joe and Nicky are the only other characters providing any warmth or emotion in the film. It’s badly needed. I was so let down that they didn’t show Nile’s introduction to the team because, to me, I got the sense that Joe and Nicky are the heart. They seem in touch with their emotions and not as cynical and hardened by their “immortality” as Andy. They seem to still care about helping people, even at the cost of themselves, and they could have been such a strong anchor if the movie invested more time in them. Both actors are solid and believable in the roles and it’s a pity they weren’t given more to do than to be the victims who needed rescuing.

· The action, for the most part, is solid. It’s pretty average, though. Nothing surprising. It’s the moves you’ve seen if you watched John Wick or Atomic Blonde, so keep that in mind.

· The effects are solid, particularly for their healing factor. It’s smooth and polished looking.

· What little bits and pieces we see between teammates is likable. They seem genuinely fond and protective of each other and it’s not in focus enough, but when it is, it’s nice.

· The soundtrack is pretty good.

Cons:

· Lack of explanation. Look, I get it. You don’t want to load your entire movie up with exposition, but it’s very simple and easy to pace it out. You don’t have to dump it all in one spot, or if you do, then you can simply be strategic about it. Most good movies also know how and where to integrate the exposition and story into sequences where the characters are performing an action so that you don’t notice the exposition as you have something visual to distract you and keep your attention while you’re watching the movie. The Old Guard doesn’t care about all your questions. It just thinks you should accept whatever it jams down your throat, no matter how goddamn unbelievable it is. They explain so little of what’s going on to Nile that after the halfway point, you might as well throw up your arms and forget everything you wanted to know about the group. They answer nothing at all, yet expect Nile to throw in her lot with them for however long she’ll be alive. What’s frustrating is that you have solid actors who could pull off the emotional angles of the hard decisions they chose to make as semi-immortal beings. It pisses me off that they don’t explain anything because the motivations are what make us all care about the characters. For instance, why become soldiers? No one said they had to fight for humanity, especially since they JUST heal wounds. They aren’t super fast or super strong. They could have very easily simply acquired wealth over the centuries and used that wealth to invest in things that help people. Why do they have to be fighters? Oh, right, because it’s cooler.

· Lazy writing. The number of plotholes in this thing, due in part to lack of explanation, is stunning. I mean, it’s just so goddamn fucking lazy. It doesn’t care about its own material. It just needs to get from Point A to Point B by taking the most shortcuts possible. I can’t handle how little the movie cares about its own content. I can go point by point for laziness. We can start with how no one wanted to ask Nile ANYTHING after she came back from the dead. They just got mad and scared, but they didn’t say anything when she was still on the military base. What the actual fuck is that? And they just left her alone afterward, expecting her to follow orders? Uh, that’s not how that works. Her friends would be asking her a billion questions and the medics would have asked her even more questions than that. She wouldn’t just be walking around of her own free will, especially not in this day and age where science is obsessed with figuring out the why of humanity. They’d have kept her locked up and started examining her the second she healed the neck wound. And that’s just right off the cuff. Don’t get me started on her five second “I don’t want to march in your parade” bullshit that is just so clearly the second act breakdown moment to have the hero come back and save them in the third act schtick. How is Nile somehow calling out Andy for killing those men in the church when she was LITERALLY a Marine, who is TRAINED TO KILL BAD PEOPLE???? That made NO sense. But again, this movie doesn’t care. It doesn’t care about fucking anything. Booker’s betrayal was painfully telegraphed and it was also another plothole, as Andy has been alive for thousands of years and would have felt that the weight of her gun would be off without its ammo. She also would’ve checked her rounds before going in hot. Then there’s even smaller details, like it being broad daylight when they’re brought into that lab and then they have a shootout but there’s NO ONE on the streets when they leave, but then they leave and THEN all the people magically reappear. Go fuck yourself. This movie is an insult to average intelligence. It just expects you to open up and swallow every bit of its bullshit over and over again, squandering its own potential. It’s so infuriating.

· Cliché placeholder dialogue. The dialogue is so unimaginative that I’m pretty sure a bot wrote it. You can tell beat for beat what’s going to happen fifteen minutes before it happens on-screen. The movie really does not think much of its audience. It doesn’t have a unique take on pretty much anything at all, which is a crying shame, really. There are plenty of juicy angles for character and action that they could have gone for and didn’t.

· Not enough time is spent getting to know anyone except for Andy, and even she is given drive-by characterization. Nile is a huge loss. As a black woman, I am always dying to see black women in science fiction/fantasy stories because there is a severe lack of representation. I was hoping Nile would get a bigger stake in everything, but she’s just a chess piece. The movie doesn’t delve into her life, her wants, her needs, basically anything at all. They mention her family repeatedly, but they don’t go into detail to make you care and understand what a loss it is to leave them behind. It’s especially shitty when her bonding with Booker could have been a great emotional moment. Their origins line up well. She could have had conversations with him, arguing that she should be allowed to tell her family or at least say goodbye, and Booker could share his own tragic backstory with her to explain why it’s better for them to remain solitary. Then his betrayal would have hit even harder. Then Nile would have felt personally betrayed. It’s so ridiculous that there is all this set up of pain and interesting backstories that the movie just flatout ignores. Especially Quynh. Quynh ’s story will haunt me for the rest of my days, personally, but even that was left as an untied thread. It’s clear from that pompous ending that there’s either already a sequel planned or in progress, but personally, this movie let me down so hard I hope it doesn’t happen. Not unless a much better filmmaker and writing team comes along. Quynh’s untied thread is a blatant show of how they still think they deserve your time after showing you how little they care about their own material. They introduced the idea and then abandoned it without fully exploring what it meant. It’s clear that her horrible fate is painful to them all, so not giving it the adequate time to be explored is just even more insulting to the audience.

· Lack of imagination. For instance, we have some Mark Zuckerberg-looking villain spouting the same tired dialogue from the idiot villain in the Venom movie. There also is no creativity in the action. We could have done some fun things utilizing their healing factors during fight sequences, but there’s not much to them. Just standard punches and kicks and headshots. Then there’s the boring dead wife betrayer guy who is inexplicably left alive after accusing said cartoony villain of murdering them. He has ALL the information to take to the CIA or FBI or just ANYONE IN GENERAL IN INTELLIGENCE AGENCIES and they just bop him on the head and leave him there??? This movie doesn’t have a single original thought. It’s just regurgitating other clichés from much better movies.

I wanted this to be good. I wanted a break from 2020, but it’s clear that this year is unprecedented in how terrible it can get and how it doesn’t want us to enjoy anything. I wish I didn’t have to say these things about this movie, but I do. I honestly don’t think it’s worth a watch and that people should avoid it. It’ll inevitably do well because people don’t have anything better to do, but that’s still a shame. I’m so disappointed in all its wasted potential and I always will be.

Kyo out.

#The Old Guard #movie review #film review #spoilers #spoiler alert #Charlize Theron #new movie #new release #Netflix

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evakuality · 5 years

Photo

Welcome to episode two’s version of my lengthy comparison of these two characters. At this point, despite their stories being fairly similar, the boys are starting to diverge a lot in terms of who they are and how they react to the situations they find themselves in. The first episode can be found over here if you’re interested.

Isak’s second episode opens with him spending quiet time in his bedroom with Eskild. It’s really sweet, actually. Eskild likes people and being with people and he obviously feels like Isak needs someone with him, but he’s also content to be quiet and doing his own thing while letting Isak do his. By contrast, Hans comes into Matteo’s world. He’s also very happy by himself and Hans hasn’t felt the need to be there with him in the same way Eskild has. This is one of the least stressed/down/unhappy moments we see Matteo in during these earlier episodes. He’s playing a game and using his phone. He seems quite content. The difference is interesting here, too. Isak is just sharing space with Eskild so being asked about the attractiveness of guys is a natural progression of the situation, whereas Hans actively comes to Matteo to ask his opinion. It’s a more deliberate action, and I do wonder how much Hans suspects at this point, given that we don’t have the ‘he met me at a gay bar’ story in the same way we did with Eskild. It just seems like more of an open secret with Matteo than it does with Isak, and as we see later in the season, Matteo isn’t quite as adamant about it as Isak is.

The conversations they have are also quite different, though we get the same content. Eskild and Isak have a discussion about Eskild thinking ‘every guy’ is gay and that leads them into the discussion of how you can tell if someone is gay and leads to Isak’s realisation that Even joked about dicks and so he could be gay. Matteo, on the other hand, is much more deliberate in searching out the information he wants (finding out if David could be gay). He looks at his picture of David and he wonders out loud how you can tell if someone is gay. They both want to know the same thing, but Isak is reactive and Matteo is proactive in uncovering that information. Eskild is far more serious in his answer to how gaydar works than Hans, who makes a joke about noses. At this point, I feel like Isak has a better and more clear answer to his question regarding Even than Matteo does about David, even if his actual search for information on Even was unfruitful. Matteo, at the end of this conversation, has no better idea than he did at the start.

The next section is quite different for each of them, which is really fascinating. By this point, Matteo already has his David picture and is already starting to spend a lot of time obsessing over it, whereas Isak discovers the video of Even now. He’s charmed, of course, as Even is quite charming in this video, and we get to see him as he is increasingly fond while watching it. Matteo, by contrast, is with his friends and yet he’s still on the outer with them. They all got into dress up week while he either forgot or didn’t bother. But instead of mooning over a recorded version of David, Matteo gets actual interactions with him. It’s deeply awkward (so awkward!) but they’re both obviously happy to see each other despite that. So by the time they see Sana and Amira respectively, Matteo has another meeting under his belt and one that David initiated while Isak has just been caught watching an old video of some of Sana’s friends (though he doesn’t know that yet of course). It’s here that we really start to see some of the ways in which the two boys are so different. Isak is still in the romance of it all, the crush, and it’s still fantasy in a lot of ways. Matteo is having more real life connections and so is learning that David is at least interested in a friendly way. This is probably because by now Isak has a more firm knowledge of Even’s potential gayness (because, as per Eskild’s thoughts, he talked to a stranger about sucking dicks), whereas Matteo never got that from Hans. He has to glean it from David himself during these interactions. This means, of course, that at the end of the episode on the tram/bus Isak is taken by surprise as Even starts a conversation, while Matteo goes to David himself. Because Isak is definitely still in the ‘this is a fantasy about the hot new guy’ stage and Matteo is in the ‘this is a person I know and talk to and am interested in’ stage.

It’s even more obvious that Isak is still in a fantasy when we see the way he reacts to Even crossing the courtyard and completely tunes out everyone he’s with, to the point that they all go out of focus and their voices disappear in favour of a musical track. It’s not like Matteo is completely immune to this either, of course. He has his own little ‘wow David’s so attractive, imagine what he’d look like if he twirled to a nonexistent musical track’ moment. But when he does it, he’s already tuned out of the moment with his friends, exasperated with their discussion (which is yet again about sex). Isak is much more obvious in the way he tunes out that it’s a wonder the guys don’t pick up on it, particularly since he then tries to slide his way out of having to hang out with Emma. Isak’s fantasy extends to watching Even’s video over and over again (well I assume; he certainly watches it at least once more), and in watching a Baz Luhrmann movie to get closer to Even somehow. At this point, he’s still not made a genuine connection as yet and is still living in his constructed world where Even is an unattainable godlike figure. Whereas Matteo, as said before, is meeting up with David and seeing him around a lot more. And they are painfully awkward in a very real way. Matteo desires David, absolutely, but he’s not the god figure that Isak sees in Even. Consequently, Matteo doesn’t watch David’s favourite movie until after he’s told by David what it is because he has more real life things to hang his crush on rather than an online fantasy.

It’s a different route they take, one that’s more natural in some ways but much less ‘romantic’ fantasy-esque. It makes Isak’s meeting with Even on the tram much more poignant. He’s so deep in his fantasy crush by now that this is like a dream come true, a meeting with his crush! It’s big and powerful and sweeps him away. Matteo’s meeting with David is much more low key. They meet on the bus and stare awkwardly at each other because this is what they are now used to. Both boys, however, learn to relax as they spend more time with their crushes. Both open up and start to get to know the other boy. The scene in the apartment is very similar for both. They are both able to share and be open and they both find out things about their future partners. They both admire the art made by the other person, though Matteo gets a more intimate look because David (by virtue of this being Matteo’s house and not his own) has to show him his sketchbook rather than the things already hanging in public as Isak gets for Even. This scene is crucial for both pairs, imo, and while the ways they talk and interact are different in some ways, the scene serves for both Isak and Matteo to see their crush as a more real and rounded person. The disgusting food just highlights that and by the end they are both very comfortable with this person now. The mystique (for Isak) and the awkwardness (for Matteo) is mostly gone by the time they eat the sandwiches.

Of course, it ends differently for each of them. Isak is confronted with the very real, very present and very physically intimate girlfriend that Even never mentioned. Matteo gets ghosted. And this serves to highlight some of their differences too. Both Even and David appear to be ‘hot and cold’ but Matteo is running on assumptions whereas Isak has cold, hard facts right there in front of him. He even has the words ‘my girlfriend’ to hammer it all home. They’ve both lied to people about where they are and what they’re doing, but Isak has a harder wall put up by Even than Matteo does by David. Matteo is confused, but he’s not unwilling to approach David again as we see next episode. Isak pulls back because this is a big thing for him. So while Matteo looks more proactive than Isak, it’s mostly because he doesn’t have the same roadblocks in his way. They’re both left isolated and confused at the end of the episode, but Matteo is in a better situation.

Speaking of that lie he told Sara, Matteo, interestingly enough, makes a conscious choice to ask Sara to his place in the first place and so she has more right to feel aggrieved that he stood her up. And that’s partly because she’s his girlfriend and not a girl who’s trying just a little too hard to get with him. But it also says a lot about the boys. Isak is spoken over and the boys set up the meeting with Emma for him, presumably so they can find themselves other girls. Matteo’s boys agree to go to a get together for the Abistreich committee, and Matteo has made his own decision to be entirely alone with Sara by then. He again separates himself from them and what they’re doing much more obviously than Isak does. He doesn’t seem as connected to his friends as Isak is as yet, and that makes sense of the fact that he pushes for and gets the more connected relationship with David much earlier than Isak does with Even. He needs it more at this point. There’s a lot of focus on sex for Matteo this episode, actually. Sara tries to make it work when she’s upset, and his excuse is dreadful (‘have to clean’? seriously???), and then they make this meeting time for Friday. Coupled with the boys’ focus on wanting it, sex looms large in his life despite clearly making him uncomfortable. Isak seems much more at ease with these sorts of discussions even when he thinks of them as irrelevant to him. The Carlos/Kiki sex talk takes a much different tone than the Magnus/Vilde one, but even so, Isak seems more willing to be present and attentive in those conversations. Matteo literally doesn’t care, even when it turns to discussion of his own sex life. It’s this set of conversations that he tunes out from to watch David spinning in his imagination.

The differences in how they feel about their girls, and thus in how they treat them are huge as well. I don’t blame Isak here at all; he’s effectively bullied into spending time with Emma when he really doesn’t want to. But he’s quite dismissive and the way he talks about her is quite rude. Matteo, on the other hand, spends time alone with Sara and while he’s not interested in sex, he does want her to be happy and he does care for her. It’s a deeper, more enduring relationship so this makes sense. But it does show up how caring Matteo is, even at this point, compared to how distant Isak is holding himself. Again, it’s the performative vs the truly felt. Isak is still performing for his friends and he’s finding it hard to be true to himself, so his caring side that Eskild mentions later in the season isn’t displayed as much as yet. Matteo is being true to himself, in that he’s trying to be a good caring person, but it’s getting him into awkward situations with Sara where she wants the relationship to get to a point he doesn’t. He cares about her enough to try to make this work (at least he does after he sees David with Leonie and assumes they’re together), and so he looks up how to sleep with a woman if you’re not into her much earlier than Isak does. The reasoning is the same: I’ve seen my crush with someone else and I think he’s with her, though in Matteo’s case that’s a really over-zealous assumption from one hug.

So. That’s episode two. It’s an interesting one to look at because while the boys do share similarities at this point, they are diverging more and more. Isak is more present in his own life and with his friends, so he’s far more conscious in protecting his identity to keep that friendship intact. Matteo is largely absent from his life and from a connection with his friends, so he’s more willing to make a real connection with David sooner. He’s stuck in a situation with Sara which he’s not sure how to navigate effectively, but he cares about her enough that he can’t be as cavalier with her as Isak is with Emma who he wants to shake off at this point. Because Isak is more connected to his boys, it’s harder for him to push back against their expectations around him and Emma too. There’s a fear around losing them that Matteo doesn't have in the same way because he’s already consciously isolating himself from them anyway.

Episode three can be found here

#druck #skam #my meta stuff #my isak and matteo comparison stuff

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