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#you know that saying god gives his hardest battles to his strongest soldiers
lenaluthoring · 2 years
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whatever spectrum of emotions these convey is what i'm feeling rn
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wawataka · 2 years
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bawling my eyes out bc the only man in my family who actually wanted a daughter got a son
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webslingingslasher · 5 months
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i was thinking about how boyfriend!frat peter would swing his way back to trouble and like thinking if she needs something or what she was doing all the time he was on patrol like
"has she seen the episode we didn't get to finish?"
"nah, she wouldn't... right?"
"i hope she forgot bout it"
"i think she ran out of toilet paper"
"gonna be so mad if she saw that episode without me"
kinda messy in a peter way but he likes to find himself thinking about her after being spiderman because sets him down to earth again <3
the second peter had his hand on your window, your laptop slammed shut. you were sitting a little too straight up, your hands in plain sight.
'were you watching porn?' you sputter, the idea making your chest feel warm. 'no! i was just looking at stuff.' peter's eyebrow quirks, 'porn stuff?'
'no!' your eyes flash around the room, it's a guilty look. 'oh, c'mon, it can't be that bad. what kind of stuff are you into?' peter swears he's joking, but when he playfully reaches for your computer you flatten yourself on top of it.
'holy shit, it really is porn.'
'it's not porn! it's... it's... for you. yeah, it's for you and it's a surprise!' your boyfriend blinks, 'you have to believe the lie to sell it, trouble.'
you couldn't be caught, peter would never forgive you.
'you got me at a bad time, you were supposed to call me on your way over.'
'did you miss me that bad? you had to pregame my arrival?' you huff, sitting up and fixing your hair, you don't realize how close your boyfriend got.
'i wasn't doing that!'
'you were about to.'
'no!'
peter's having way too much fun, 'then what were you doing?'
'i already told you, nothing!'
peter's quick, he grabs your laptop but not before you catch the other side. a gentle game of tug and war. 'i'm gonna look.' you tug, it's useless, peter could rip it from your grasp in a second.
'no! not allowed!'
'then tell me what you're hiding.'
'no!' you screech louder when he takes total ownership of the machine. guilt washes over you, you've been caught red handed. the only solution was looking at your knees.
your boyfriend gasps in horror at the screen, it sounds like how you knew he'd feel about it.
'i'm sorry, peter. you were never supposed to find out.'
'how could you do this to me? to us?'
you can't even make eye contact. 'i know, i'm sorry.'
it's like it chokes him to say, 'how long has this been going on?' you look up at him, if you plead he may accept your apology.
'not long, i promise! it was just today.... and maybe last week. but i swear i'll never do it again.'
'this hurts, trouble. this really hurts me.'
sure, maybe you did betray his trust a little. but he's the one that got you hooked in the first place, he can't push all the blame on you.
'but you've already seen it! and i really wanted to see the next episode and you weren't here and i figured it would be okay... but that was four episodes ago.'
'fine. but you need to keep me updated, because the only reason i'm rewatching it is so i can experience it with you.'
a subtle confession, something you weren't supposed to take to heart, but you did. the whole reason peter got you watching was so he could relive all his favorite parts, but with you.
you pout, peter pushes your computer back in your hands and points at your bottom lip. 'no. you dug your grave, you don't get to be sad that i'm sad.'
'but i'm really sorry.'
'sorry you got caught.'
'no! i'll never watch it without you, i promise.' except you were in the middle of a very juicy scene and you're itching to press play. peter can read you like a book.
'you wanna do it right now, don't you?'
'no.' ..... 'yes.' ..... 'but i won't.'
'god gives his hardest battles to his strongest soldiers.'
peter doesn't understand the restraint you're showing. 'you stink, go take a shower.'
'promise you won't keep watching?'
it's hard, but you can do it for him.
'promise.' 
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skzooweemama · 8 months
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Tickle Fights with SKZ!!
(Hyung Line)
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hello beautiful people! i have made my return to writing on tumblr! ik a lot of you won’t know that bc i am not tagging or mentioning my main acc, but it is merely the truth! anyway, i’ve been into t-word stuff for a whileeee and i wanted to try my hand at it!
have my headcanons!
(ps. pretty sure these can be either platonic or romantic so just use that imagination)
~~~
Tickle Fights:
Chan:
- so gentle, but might instigate the fights
- you’ve seen how he is with the boys… like c’mon now
- really likes when you get goofy with him, which is usually what leads to these fights
- you’ll both be giggling about something, him (and you?) doing the excited hand flaps when he can’t help but poke at your tummy
- if you’re ticklish, he’s not stopping, coming in with more gentle pokes and prods to keep you laughing
- if you’re not, he sits there for a good second processing, wondering why you didn’t laugh
- perfect time for a counterattack fr
- he’s plenty ticklish himself, so even if he’s getting you good (unless he has you completely pinned, which doesn’t happen a lot), you can still get him back
- his sidesss literally they're so so bad
- please tickle him there and don’t stop until he’s begging
- you pretend to count his muscles sometimes and it drives him actually insane
- too much of a gentle giant to actually do anything abt it though (other than trying to get you back)
- lots of dramatic “ahh!”s and his squeaky laugh
- STAMPY FEET OMG
- honestly, satisfied with the fight as long as you’re laughing (whether it’s from being ticklish or giggling at his cute reactions)
Lee Know:
- annoying.
- ANNOYING.
- he actually doesn’t start these fights a lot, knowing he’s just as ticklish as (or even more ticklish than) you are
- however, whenever they DO start, the foul play… it’s rampant
- he likes to cook for y’all, and you like to bug him while he does so
- a lot of the time this looks like back hugs that allow you to pepper kisses along his shoulders while he’s chopping vegetables, which is slightly annoying but nothing to seek revenge over
- however- if you ever get the inkling to sneak your arms around his waist and quickly dig your fingers into his ribs (which tends to happen sometimes)
- watch out.
- one day, this is exactly what happens. he’s cooking, you come up behind him and tickle his ribs and he lets out a squawk of laughter
- by the time he turns around, you’re already hightailing it out of the kitchen
- he lets you get away, deciding to go after you later
- will use any sort of method to trap your limbs in order to tickle you without fearing retaliation (and if you’re not ticklish… well i’d recommend getting him good)
- blanket burritos, pinning you under his body weight, pulling your shirt over your head suddenly
- you name it, he’s done it
- tickle fights between the two of you may last for days, with each of you trying to find away to one up the other’s previous revenge attacks
- usually, these culminate in the biggest wrecking session and the shame of the loss is enough to end the fight
- i wish i could say this was a 50/50 split, but honestly… you lose most of the time
- god gives his hardest battles to his strongest soldiers 🫡
Changbin:
- definitely more soft than lee know, but can still be incredibly annoying
- just in general, not even with his tickle fight tactics
- he usually inadvertently causes the fight to start, however
- he’s loud, just like all the time, 24/7
- sometimes you just want him to shut up, just for a little while
- and though making him laugh isn’t technically making him be quiet, it’s a welcome alternative to whatever other sounds he’s making
- as soon as he opens his mouth to parrot one of his little bits for the 30 millionth time, you strike
- this is how most of your tickle fights start
- he tends to have short, choked laughs at first
- if he can get away, you won’t hear his true laugh
- however, if you can get him defenseless, he’ll start his cute cackle immediately
- his chest is the best place to attack if you want this to happen, just make sure he can’t swat at you
- he will get you back as well, just a warning
- those muscles aren’t just for show, you know
- he isn’t ever mean or sadistic, he just likes to hear you laugh and if his jokes aren’t doing that, his hands will have to do
- he’s so soft
- I LOVE HIM
Hyunjin:
- drama king. king of drama.
- the MOST dramatic.
- you could have accidentally brushed his side while passing him in the hallway while the two of you were doing your own things and he’ll let out a loud “AH!” and clutch his side like he’s been shot
- really, he does too much.
- yes, he is that ticklish. yes, you want to exploit it.
- sometimes you’ll come with him while he practices choreography, and if he’s getting too frustrated with himself, you have the perfect solution
- when he’s groaning and pulling his beanie over his eyes after a mistake, you sneak up behind him and quickly massage his hips
- he shrieks, trying to step forward to escape you, but you take the opportunity to grab him around the waist and wrestle him to the ground
- you can get in some good tickling on the way down, especially when his beanie is still over his eyes
- his laugh is very screech-y, less a laugh and more a scream
- however, once he’s got his sight back, he’s gonna try to turn the tables
- hyunjin definitely is the type to get weak when tickled, but his long limbs can be good weapons
- be careful to avoid blunt force trauma from them swinging around
- once the attack is over, he doesn’t actively try to get you back (but if you put yourself in a compromising position… rip you)
- he does hold a grudge though so he prepared for some more dramaaa
- will probably demand food and affection as payment for your deeds
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strayheartless · 6 months
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Things heard in the land of departure:
Riku: you know sometimes I think I’ve had enough of today. But then Roxas throws his keyblade full force at my head; Kairi manages to flood the training room while I’m the one babysitting trainees and I think “oh! I was wrong! Now I’ve had e-fucking-nough of today!”
Sora: it only kills me if I die!
Roxas: I regret to inform the council that I have settled on being the problem child today.
Aqua: if anyone needs me I’ll be screaming into the void.
Ven: you know, vanitas isn’t all that bad once you get to know him. he’s only tried to take over my entire being like… *starts counting on his fingers*
Sora: you gunna cry?! Oh, shit man your actually crying! Do you need to talk?
Isa: if I mutilate my face again do I still have to participate?
Roxas: 🎶 someone made my best friend cry, do da do da. That punk ass bitch is gunna die, oh do do da day🎶 *jazz hands*
Terra: I’ll admit, historically I have not always made decisions that place me on the moral high ground. Yet today I find myself with the absolute pleasure of getting to say “ I told you so!”
Aqua: *bodily hands Kairi to Riku like she’s a badly behaved cat* Take her before I do something everyone but me regrets.
Kairi: I’m my defence Lea said ‘probably not’ and he should really know better then to challenge me like that.
Sora: “oh sora, why aren’t you a master yet? Oh sora, when are you planning on retaking the mark of mastery?” Well Susan I’d actually planned on not almost dying every month of the year first!
Ven: It scares me that soon I’ll be the grown up kids need to take with them to Disney town.
Xion: wait no! Why does Kairi have a battle axe?!? Parlé, Parlé PARLÉ!!!!!
Riku: After some careful consideration I’ve decided to give up. Thank you for understanding.
Ven: why is the floor talking?!? *Terra pops up from behind a counter* oh, that’s why.
Lea: *after going toe to toe with Terra* “a little master vs student never hurt.” WRONG I am VeRy mUcH hUrT!
Roxas: People often ask me why I decided to train under Riku if I hate him so much. The answer is quite simple really, How else am I meant to ensure is suffering?
Xion: Master Aqua says that the gods give the hardest battles to the strongest soldier. What I wanna know is, is that legally binding? Cause I don’t remember signing shit!
Riku: I’d ask why you are covered in glitter, but at this point I’ve accepted my fate. *gets attacked by a glittery Sora and Kairi*
Isa: do you ever just… regret existence?
Lea: oh yeah, all the time!
Ven: today I made the mistake of telling Roxas to bite me… now I think I need stitches.
Sora: For all I’m famous for being able to fall asleep anywhere, I sure do be allergic to falling asleep in bed.
Ven & Roxas: mood.
Terra: I shall be unavailable until further notice. I’m not busy I’m just sick of looking at all of you.
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spiderblog-mcu · 6 months
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Peter, sniffing: you know what they say, god gives his hardest battles to his strongest soldiers.
Tony: Peter it is a phone call to the dentist not a war.
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starrystevie · 2 years
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if you ask steve about god, he won’t know what to say. he’ll think back to days of wearing stuffy suits that sit heavily on his little body, the way his feet don’t hit the ground as he swings his legs in a pew. the way the pastor would drone on and on as steve played with his mother’s fingers just to give him something to focus on. he’d think about the red light that would stream in through stained glass windows as if it was the blood of christ itself and the way it would wash over his face when he’d kneel down for communion. 
god was church, god was sunday morning, god was hunger pains and scratchy polyester and burning words wrapped in silk that brand their way into steve’s memory. god meant showing face to his parents’ friends who would talk about salvation over their weekly donation to rid themselves of their guilt and self-loathing. tithings of bloody dollars that would go towards building houses in countries steve had never heard of all so they could feel better about their own miserable lives. 
it wasn’t until he was older that the words the pastor spun made any sense to him, words that were too big for a sunday school vocabulary becoming common place and growing around his heart like vines on a once loved home. things of damnation and abomination that he’d find inside himself, desires and sin that he’d push down into the darkness that even stained glass sunshine couldn’t get to. he could pinpoint hypocrisy but went along with it because his father expected him to and wasn’t that just the kicker? pitting father against father in a holy war of who to obey. 
but if there was one thing about steve, it was that he could grow. he was malleable and observant and ever curious, the proverbial hand outstretched to grab the forbidden fruit. he had questions that would never be answered, he had ideas that would never have evidence, he had a longing to make right what he had wronged and wasn’t that what god would have wanted? he let his own son perish on a cross to allow steve that chance and by god he was going to take it.
if you ask eddie about god, he will have too much to say. he didn’t grow up in two piece suits on a historical pew on sundays, he had crooked crosses in yards and bibles in motel rooms with dollars between the pages and saying grace before supper. he had a father who swore at the same god he prayed to and a mother who used his name like a curse. he had brimstone and anger and sweat rolling down the round red face of a preacher as he held his hands to the sky. he had fingers wagging in his face damning him to an eternity of hades flames if he wasn’t careful.
his father buzzed his head after eddie’s eyes wandered just once to that bright shiny apple that he knew he shouldn’t have even thought about tasting. the lord works in mysterious ways and gave him a sin with big green eyes and a toothy grin, short cropped hair instead of long curls. he had been told that he’d go to hell if he didn’t cut that damn hair ever since he decided to grow it out and it was almost funny how true it felt when the clippers came too close to his scalp.
he grew disdain for the idea of a god early on because goddamnit, he was was as angry as that preacher man was. eddie was a ball of rage, a flash of burning holy wings falling from the sky, misunderstood and tossed aside. he learned to curse the way his parents did and pray to the same ghost in the sky in the same breath wondering why. if he was real, why was he was stuck in the life he had? the hardest battles for the strongest soldiers, that’s what his granny would say as she turned a blind eye to his own black ones. 
hawkins, he had thought, would be eden in a trailer park. a fresh start with new people and cold air freezing his newly shorn head like a lamb. but there he met the same believers, the same rhetoric, only this time it was subtle. it was eyes sliding over him and downturned lips and furrowed eyebrows that told him he was unwelcome. if there was a god, he was cruel and he was vindictive and he was no better than the devil that people swore by. 
but steve and eddie, they learned about monsters and creatures that were under their feet all along. they fought like angels with big mighty wings and swords and spears against relentless demons. they fought for themselves, for each other, for the sins that felt heavy in their chests and left them with matching scars. when it was all over, and eddie lay praying to a god who had been silent to at least make it quick, steve was muttering prayers of his own to not let them fail, to not take his family from him. 
it felt like a wicked full circle when he looked down to see eddie’s body, bites torn out of him shining red with fresh spilt blood, and thought that it was like a crucifixion of their own. steve was back in a pew in a too scratchy suit, playing with his mother’s fingers, prepared to take communion with the body and blood of someone he wanted to know but never really would.
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Raine’s hair got so much prettier,, but at what cost
God gives his hardest battles to his strongest soldiers…
WHEN DID I SIGN UP FOR THE WAR?! WHEN DID I ENLIST?!
Good god, I am not ready for the ridiculous amount of angst that is going to come from the Eda vs Raine fight in the finale. IM NOT READY!! When Eda finds out, she’s gonna be heartbroken and filled with rage and I’m going to break in two.
Rainestorm, my sweet songbird, they have been through too much. If they truly are aware of what’s happening but unable to fight back, I’m going to be destroyed and heartbroken. They played the strings and now Belos is playing theirs, similar to how Raine played everyone’s heartstrings when pretending to be brainwashed. Only this time it’s the real thing.
But, I can’t help but say that Raine is still hot despite all of this. I don’t know if it’s the mullet, the evil smirks, or both, but they are looking fine as hell!
Raine we will save you!
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babygirlkeets · 11 months
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Saturday Morning
In this moment I wont lie to you, I'm devastated. I know God works in mysterious ways but how much pain and suffering can one girl take?
I cry tears because I know this is life long for me. Not only the effects but the confession. I mean I hope not because I have only ever wanted one person, one marriage, but if not that, this is something I will have to speak on again. Hope to be accepted again.
What happened to me was beyond forgivable. It sent me to a place where I wanted to end the life that God had blessed me with, and I didn't even know the worst of it. God did that on purpose. That is how I see it. Because if I knew then, what I know now, I would've never called that ambulance.
I always keep in mind that God teaches us lessons again and again until we understand and make that change in order to grow, and I didn't listen. I was looking for approval again, doing what I didn't want to do again and I let someone get away with hurting me again because of a lack of self love and now I am learning my lesson in the cruellest way. But for the right reason. I now HAVE to love myself. This can't happen again.
He made it so I found out when I was in love, In love with someone who accepts me wholeheartedly. Who wants the marriage and life I know God wants for me. A person who's heart is as big as mine. Who see's beyond what it is but who I am. This is the real shit. The heavy stuff that shows who is meant for you and who isn't.
I am not yet in a place where I forgive him for what he did to me. I don't but I know God will help me get there. I am already feeling empathy that he is unable to be as strong as me, as honest as me because I simply could never do another human like that, even though I am in that same position of feeling shame and unfair treatment. That makes me feel more confident that I am a great person. Breaking cycles. Finding the silver lining. I am so strong. I really am.
They do say God gives his hardest battles to his strongest soldiers.
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charlescherie · 2 years
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just some positivity to cheer you up ♥️ they say god gives his hardest battles to his strongest soldiers and is charles has shown us anything, he is as strong as they come. good things come to good people and charles will get what he deserves. it’s easy to assume the worst right now, but charles is a talented as they come and he has an entire community backing him. they will not let him be continuously mistreated. i know at this moment is seems impossible, but we must keep faith. this has been heartbreaking but our hearts will be filled with happiness again, I promise you that.
god, please you saw he's one of fhe strongest now please stop 🙏
his and our heart better be filled with happiness again or i dont know what i'll do, seriously
but also that was so fucking sweeeet i loved this amd i love you, whoever you are 🥺 thank you sweetheart <3333
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neowinestainedress · 1 year
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trust me i WILL be coming here just to rant with how it went since i don’t have any friend that likes kpop (i have one but she’s a bts stan and because of that we haven’t talked since almost a month ago jsjsj since she got mad for something i said (i actually praised nct and svt vocals lol) + i moved cities and none of my irls from here know i like kpop so yeah…) so i apologize in advance for the person i will become after the concert! thank you<3 and ofc safety is first!!
if (traitor) jeno has a million haters i’m one of them. if he has 1 hater it’s me. if he has 0 haters it means i have left this earth. and if he has 1 hater after i died then i crawled out of hell through fire and brimstone to hate again. so i don’t care if they fight me cause god gives his hardest battles to his strongest soldiers 😔😔
“so MAYBE there will be a small spin off about it.” WHAT ABOUT MY MENTAL HEALTH I TOLD YOU YOU WANT TO KILL ME!!!!!!!!
also what the other anon said about their theory… SADLY i had the same one since i saw the labyrinth spoiler and even before that i had the same one since /that/… i really hope i’m wrong tho because i refuse to believe haechan has no real opportunity left with mc 💔
p.s:#teamhaechanforever
p.s 2: i love the header from the masterlist, so cute and i love that you actually kept the sour concept its so creative cause i would have never thought of that!!
- 💌
feel you i only have one kpop stan irl luckily for me, she doesn't get offended when i praise my faves. no need to apologize i can't wait to read your rant!! are you going alone?
so i don’t care if they fight me cause god gives his hardest battles to his strongest soldiers 😔😔 this is me every time i defend a villain on twitter, can't believe you're fighting for your life to go against traitor!jeno
idk there's something about the header that doesn't convince me😩😩i like the concept too but ugh idk (i will probably never change it because i genuinely don't know what's bothering me rip)
put the second ask under the cut and also the 'answer' to the labyrinth theory but i don't think it's a spoiler
okay so in the previous ask i mentioned /that/ and i don’t know if it will be a spoiler so i didn’t want to ruin anything but i think since the previous parts ended with quotes from the songs i think happier will end the same (and you know how much i loved that) so that means haechan won’t end up with mc 😭😭😭😭 UNLESS the final narration is done by jeno so he’s the one saying “i hope you’re happy but don’t be happier” yk what… i think that’s right 😁😁 gtg now i need to gaslight myself with that second theory i just made!! (you don’t have to post this ask if you don’t want to!!) - 💌
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that's all i have to say. i think it's clear i'm having fun???
if rose-colored glasses jeno is the king of gaslighting others you're the queen of gaslighting yourself i love you 😭
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shima-draws · 4 years
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pls tell us more about the ocs! :0
[[Anonymous said: *Kicks down door* Tell me about your OCs!!]]
🥺 THANKS YA’LL FOR GIVING ME AN EXCUSE TO RANT
Okay so idk how many of you are familiar with Kaz and Ginni but long story short, they’re part of the Next Generation, 25 years after the main story of ATS ends, and where we get all of Team Star’s kids. Basically everybody paired up and made babies and now those babies are teenagers and part of the Amethystus Guild, along with Ginni who is the Guildmasters’ daughter. My new OCs all tie into Ginni and Kaz’s story!
There’s Olivia, Ginni’s best friend and partner in crime at the guild! Olivia is very cheerful, very friendly, and very loyal to her friends. She’s one of the most popular members in the guild because of how open and helpful she is to others. (However, she’s completely oblivious to the crushes that several people harbor for her lmao.) She can be a bit of a ditz sometimes and is occasionally clumsy but she tries her hardest! Ginni’s a known troublemaker but Olivia doesn’t mind helping her get into trouble lol so they both often get scolded together. I haven’t decided what sort of elemental type she is yet but I can say she’s very strong and has a great handle on using her magic—it’s something that comes easy to her, a natural talent that makes her flourish even more c:
On Kaz’s side of things, when he was with the Novune Forces he worked with two other high ranking soldiers in his sector—the colonel, ranked above him, and the first lieutenant, ranked under him. The colonel, like Kaz, doesn’t have an actual name. The first lieutenant picked a name for herself at some point, and her name is Mallary! The three of them are the child prodigies of the Forces and were raised under their care, so they all grew up facing the same sort of awful treatment and experimentation and were trained to follow orders without asking questions.
Mallary is...a very unstable sort of person regarding her emotions. Despite being around Kaz’s age she acts like a child most of the time and often throws tantrums when she doesn’t get her way, causing huge outbursts of magic. She is very attached to Kaz, the two of them having grown up in close proximity, and she thrives off of the praise that both of them get. She basically sees Kaz as a possession and treats anything belonging to her as a contest;; This mostly derives from her insecurities and trauma (thanks bad parenting!) and deep down she’s just afraid to lose the only person she truly cares about. Kaz has a soft spot for her too, since she’s practically his only friend growing up, and knows that she hides her fear by acting arrogant and cruel to others. But a rift forms between them when Kaz escapes the Forces with Ginni, and Mallary views it as a “Kaz picking this random girl over me” situation, so she hates Ginni with a passion lmao
And as for the colonel!! I haven’t picked a name for him yet, I’m debating between Hickory or Hiro, so let me know which one you guys like better c: Anyway, he’s considered to be the golden child between the trio, and despite being the youngest he has the highest rank out of the three of them. He’s kinda like a rubix cube if I’m being honest LOL he’s a very multi faceted character with a lot of different sides. Like Kaz he does what he’s told without any complaints and has a record for never failing a single mission the Forces have given to him. Any enemy considers him to be absolutely ruthless because he does not hesitate in battles and will kill with no questions asked. He’s a cocky little bastard around enemies lmao he loves to snark them and tease them. He’s extremely intelligent—he’s able to read an opponent just by looking at them, so he’s considered the most dangerous out of the trio despite not being the strongest one physically (Kaz is). He fights using his intelligence—he sets up traps and watches as his opponents fall right into them. Because of how clever he is he can come up with countermeasures very quickly.
Unlike Kaz and Mallary the colonel is actually the one person that gets sent outside of HQ on missions—so he’s been more exposed to the outside world than the two of them have. This eventually clues Kaz into the fact that maybe the colonel isn’t as loyal to the Forces as he thought, most likely because the colonel slowly began to rethink his loyalties after spending so much time around people with normal lives. Both the colonel and Kaz hate their upbringing and hold a grudge against their superiors for their treatment and experimentation on them;; And eventually Kaz is able to use this to get the colonel to act as Amethystus’ spy ;)
Kaz eventually asks the colonel why he doesn’t just leave the Forces if he knows how fucked up their very existence is, and the colonel’s just like well look at me. I was raised in this environment to be a killer and to follow orders, I am broken lmao who is going to want me after this. How am I going to make it in this world if all I know how to do is be a mindless slave. He mentions that the only person who’s ever treated him normally besides Kaz without any judgement or care for his position is Mallary—and the colonel has a HUGE crush on her, but it’s very unhealthy because she honestly doesn’t give a shit about him besides their weird. Tentative friendship. Mallary’s only got eyes for Kaz and the colonel is usually too busy to dedicate a lot of time to wooing her, but when he is around she basically has him wrapped around her finger and he’ll do whatever she tells him to. It’s just yikes. He deserves better.
Once Kaz, Ginni and the guild tempt the colonel over to their side, Olivia pretty much calls dibs on him and she’s like “Listen Ginni got to give Kaz his name so can I give the colonel a name?? Please???” So she starts calling him Hickory/Hiro! And finally baby boy smarts up and starts crushing on a girl that actually gives a damn about him and god dammit it’s the cutest fucking case of puppy love since Dusk/Nozomi. The colonel absolutely adores her, but he’s too nervous to actually do anything about it because he’s got huge abandonment issues (thanks again bad parenting! And Mallary!) and doesn’t want to ruin one of the only genuine friendships he’s ever had. But he is head over HEELS for Olivia and it’s so......softe. Ginni and Olivia get to crack open their boys and resolve all of their fucked up childhood issues and watch as they finally learn how to be stupid teenagers and feel human emotions. The colonel turns into a huge crybaby and nobody even blames him because he deserves to release his trauma okay
Anyway yes sorry for the long intro (you can tell I’ve developed the colonel the most despite him not having an official name yet fnnsnfndn) but those are my new kids!! Mallary has actually been a character for a while I just haven’t had the chance to flesh her out until now, and I added Olivia and the colonel to the story recently :’)
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reyescarlos · 4 years
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#7 - Buddie plz :)
#7. “I can’t breathe” - yay for a fic from Eddie’s POV. Sorry it’s depressing!
It hits Eddie when he least expects it. It bleeds into his unguarded subconscious mind like carbon monoxide in a home. There’s no warning, no way for him to protect himself from the onslaught of images play in his mind’s eye like some sick and twisted film reel.
There’s him in an unhappy marriage, running toward danger instead of sticking it out. There’s his unit in the desert, in the fight of their lives against an enemy they could barely see. There’s Shannon leaving. There’s Shannon coming back. There’s Shannon sprawled out on the city street, with only minutes left. There’s him terrified he’s lost his child. There’s him terrified his lost his best friend. There’s him buried around a mountain of mud; his fingernails caked with dirt as he claws his way out of the wreckage.
Eddie’s body twists against the sheets as he calls out the names of his loved ones that flit across his mind. “No,” he repeats over and over again. “God, no.”
“Eddie?” Bucks says beside him but Eddie is too far gone now, somewhere other than his bedroom with the man he loves.
He twitches violently against the mattress, a choked sob breaking free of him. He can feel cold sweat running down his face and the length of his neck.
“Eddie!” Buck calls out once more, but it hardly registers.
Eddie’s ears and heart are in competition with one other to see which can beat the hardest. He feels sick to his stomach and he finds it damn near impossible to breathe, let alone speak.
He can hear himself wheezing as his eyes water. Somewhere in all the jumbled noise is Buck’s voice but the words are a tangled mess that Eddie cannot decode. It’s been so long since he’s had a panic attack to this degree. He’s been good at keeping himself in check—or so he’d convinced himself. Tonight’s dream crept up completely unprompted and Eddie curses his traitorous subconscious for dredging up instances he’s desperate to forget.
What he wouldn’t give to not always be a prisoner of his own mind, forever spending each day working to keep himself composed. He’s had a lifetime of worth of upsets but he prided himself on being able to cope. Each time he thought he had this particular battle beat, a night terror would put him in his supposed place.
“I can’t breathe,” Eddie manages to eke out, gripping the collar of his shirt roughly as he tries to sit up in bed. He can feel it’s soaked and he can only imagine what the rest of him must look like. Worst yet, he can only imagine what he must look like to Buck.
He glances to his boyfriend now and can see the outright fear in his blue eyes. Ever the first responder though, Buck is quick to assess the situation and offer aid however he can.
“Eddie, it’s okay. You’re having a panic attack but I’m right here. I’m right here,” Buck says but the words reach Eddie as if they’re coming from across a canyon rather than right beside him.
Eddie let’s Buck sit him up further and he bends over, his hands linking at the base of his neck. Eddie does his best to control his breathing, reminding himself that he’s in this present moment. All the horrid memories that stole his sleep are just that—memories, things of the past that can no longer truly hurt him.
He feels Buck’s hand smoothing over his back and he clings to that too, letting it ground him like an anchor in a raging sea.
“You’re gonna be okay. It was just a dream but you’re safe now,” Buck continues to assure him and Eddie allows himself to be coaxed by Buck’s warm tone and certainty.
Eddie swallows the lump in his throat, his thumbs kneading the base of his neck to ease the pressure building there. He can’t help but to feel he’s failing at being the person he’s supposed to be.
To be the dutiful soldier. To be the fearless firefighter. To be the champion father. Eddie has no qualm being all these things but every now and then, in flashes, he finds himself incapable of being anything other than a wreck. Those moments have always been in private. Like most things he finds it easier to compartmentalize and shift his focus to areas it’s needed most. He’s always been good at downplaying, at deflecting. But now, in this bed with Buck, there’s no hiding the parts of him that he finds to be ugly. Night terrors always plagued him but he’s been on his own for so long it never really mattered when they came because there was never an audience to bear witness.
Eddie lets out a shaky breath, the pain in his chest beginning to subside. It’s very much still present but at least now he can exhale without much difficulty.
“I’m so sorry,” he says, keeping his head down low.
“Stop, okay? No apologizing,” Buck replies quietly.
“I never wanted you to see me like that.” Eddie raises his head then and clenches his jaw. “I must seem so pathetic to you right now.”
Eddie is surprised by how hurt Buck looks but before he can retract his words, Buck is speaking.
“Do you seriously think you’re weak or something?” Buck asks. “You’re the strongest guy I know.”
Eddie shakes his head and scrubs at his eyes. “This is strong to you?” he shoots back, trapping his bottom lip behind his teeth.
“It’s human. Shit, Eddie, you’re human. Cut yourself some slack.”
“I can’t. I don’t have that luxury,” Eddie says, pushing the covers off of him completely and getting to his feet. He hears Buck moving against the bed and looks up as his boyfriend. Buck is an imposing figure before him and Eddie can tell by the steely look in his eyes that Buck isn’t going to let him get away that easily.
“Buck—drop it,” he says in vain.
“No. Talk to me. What did you dream of?” Buck asks, searching Eddie’s face as if he could see the images flashing across.
Eddie shakes his head and cracks his knuckles, a telltale sign of anxiousness that makes him drop his hands instinctively to his sides. “Nothing…everything,” he amends. “Literally everything I don’t ever want to remember.”
Buck stays quiet for a moment, considering Eddie’s words. “I think you need to talk to someone,” he finally says.
“Isn’t that what I’m doing right now,” Eddie counters, met instantly with a deep frown from Buck.
“You know what I mean,” he says and Eddie sighs heavily in response.
“Yeah, I know. I just never thought I’d need to. I have a handle on it…I thought I had a handle on it,” he mumbles.
“No shame in asking for help if you need it. Hell, you’re a firefighter. You should know better than anyone that people are always there to help.”
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Devotional Hours Within the Bible
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by J. R. Miller
Devotional for February 10th
The Fall of Jericho | Joshua 6
The city of Jericho was at the entrance to the promised land. The people had now crossed the river - but Jericho stood as a great iron gate into the promised land, and the gate was shut. They could not safely go round the city and leave the hostile stronghold behind them. It was necessary, therefore, that Jericho should be captured before they could advance.
This is a parable of many situations in life. Each man's own natural heart is a Jericho - which is the key to all his life and to his destiny. Nothing can be done in the conquest of the man - until his heart has surrendered. So long as Satan holds the key - none can reach any part of the man's being. Hence God asks always first for the citadel of our life. "Give Me your heart!" is His call. When He has this, all the life is open to Him.
It was a strange military procession which marched around Jericho one morning. We can imagine the people of the city looking at it from the walls with wonder. They could not understand the movement. Probably they laughed at the unusual procession - a few soldiers, then some priests with rams' horns, then more priests carrying a chest on their shoulders, then a few more soldiers. This marching column made no attack on the city, did not try to batter down the walls, only walked around it - and then returned to their camp. It really was not a military procession at all. Yet there was tremendous power in it.
But what was the use of calling out the men to make this daily march about the walls of Jericho? Since God was to give the city into their hands without any fighting on their part, why should they be called to do anything at all? For one thing, by doing the seemingly useless thing they were commanded to do, they showed that they believed in God. If they had not marched around the city - the walls never would have fallen, and they would not have taken Jericho at all. The Lord's part waited for the people's.
While all blessings come from God, we have something to do before they can be given to us. God gives us harvests - but we must till the soil, and sow the seed. God has given us salvation - but we must have faith in His promise and must show our faith by rising up and beginning to follow Christ. He will give us victory over temptation - but we must put on our armor and go against temptation, as if the victory altogether depended upon ourselves. Every promise of God has its condition, which requires us to exercise faith.
The march about the city was in silence. That was about the hardest part of the command to obey - to keep perfectly quiet all the time as they marched about the walls. There was to be no conversation on the way, no noises or shouting, until the work was finished. There are several suggestions here. We should not do our exulting when we are only halfway through with our battle, still less when we are only beginning it. We would better save our breath for struggle, until the work is finished.
Some people talk so much at their tasks - that they cannot do them well. Some people boast too soon, when the victory is not yet assured. Then there is, in general, much value in training one's self to keep quiet. Words are good in their place, if they are fit words, right words - but there are times when eloquent silence is infinitely better than the most eloquent speech .
The command to march silently also required self-control. The men must have wanted to talk a great many times as they went on - but their lips were sealed and they suppressed the words they were inclined to utter, and controlled their speech. We ought to have our speech so thoroughly under control - that we shall never say anything rashly. Then we shall be able to check the angry word that flies to the door of our lips so quickly, when we are hurt in some way by another. We never can estimate the great value of any self-discipline, which results in perfect self - mastery. It is for lack of self-control that many of our battles are lost and many defeats are suffered. He who can rule his own spirit - is greater than he who captures a city.
There was a meaning also in the trumpets which the priests carried. The blowing of these trumpets may fitly represent the utterance of the gospel message as the Church of Christ goes forth to conquer the citadels of sin. This spiritual army carries no weapons of earthly warfare. "Put up your sword," was the Master's command to those who were fighting with the sword. His marching-order is: "Go into all the world, and preach the gospel to the whole creation." Not by the thunder of cannon and the rattle of musketry, will He have us subdue the fortresses of sin - but by the trumpet-blasts of the gospel of peace. The means ordained may seem inadequate to the end to be accomplished - but it is not by might nor by power - but by the Spirit of God, that the work is to be done.
There is something else to be noticed here. Close behind the priests blowing the trumpets, came the ark of God. This was the symbol of God's presence, the real power by which the overthrow of the walls of Jericho was accomplished. God's hand did it. We have the same secret of power in all preaching of the gospel. When Jesus commanded His disciples to go out and win the world for Him, His promise was: "Lo, I am with you always." We need not fear to go against the strongest powers of sin. We have only to utter our message, and the power of God will break down the walls.
For six days this procession moved in silence about the city, going round the wall once and then returning to their camp. These daily marches put the faith and patience of the soldiers and priests to the test. There seemed no possible good in such idle circling around the city. There were no indications, either, of any results, as day after day passed. The fortified walls frowned down upon them no less defiantly than at the beginning. There were no suggestions of surrender from within, indications that the courage of the garrison was wavering or weakening. Some of the brave men in the lines must have longed to make an assault on the walls. They wanted to be doing something soldierly. It was hard to restrain their enthusiastic patriotism. This marching around the city seemed like child's play. Yet day after day they had just the same seemingly useless thing to do. At length, however, patience had its reward.
In all our Christian life we need to practice this lesson. There is a great deal of dull monotony in all duty. It is the same routine over and over again, not for days only, or weeks, or years - but for a lifetime. Then there are many good works which it requires a long time to complete. That is the way character is built. It is not the growth of a night. It is not the result of a decision, a choice, a determination. We cannot merely will ourselves into a beautiful manhood - we can only grow into it, slowly, patiently.
A genial author has given us a new beatitude, "Blessed be drudgery," telling us that we get all the finest things in our character and life out of the dull routine of the drudgery we too often despise. At first there is no apparent impression made, no visible result achieved, and it seems vain to try any longer. But perseverance wins at length. Had the people of Israel wearied of the monotonous and unavailing march about Jericho, and at the close of the fifth or the sixth day given up - all would have been lost. The Divine command, was that the city should be compassed about seven days, and anything short of that would not have received the promise, for it would have shown a failure of faith. Success depended upon continuance to the very end.
So it is in all Christian life and work. We must persevere unto the end. We must carry our work through to the close-if we would succeed in it. Many things fail in our hands because we tire and give up too soon. "He who endures to the end - the same shall be saved." Spurts amount to but little; it is the steady stroke and the long pull that at length come in ahead. The strongest wall yields to the pounding that never intermits.
The silence was broken at length - on the seventh day. Of course, it was not the shouting that knocked the walls down. Joshua says plainly: "The Lord has given you the city!" The shouting was part of the obedience of faith on the people's part, just as the marching round the city was. If they had not shouted the wall would not have fallen. They obeyed God, and He did as He had promised to do. Before the walls fell, these Israelites shouted in rejoicing over a victory that God was going to give them.
The story of the saving of Rahab is very interesting. It is a story of faith. The spies had told her of the promise of God to the Israelites - that the country of Canaan would be given to them. Rahab believed what they told her, and showed kindness to the spies; indeed, saved their lives. Then she asked a pledge from them that they would show kindness to her when they came to capture the city. The men promised. She was to fasten in the window of her house on the wall - the scarlet cord by which she had let them down that they might escape. They would know her house by this sign and would spare her and her family. The men kept their promise, and Rahab was spared. We find her name in the first chapter of the Gospel by Matthew in the genealogy of Jesus. Thus faith was highly honored. Its splendor shines down through all these long centuries. Faith is always blessed and always honored.
We may get a lesson from the devotement of the spoils of Jericho. Nothing was to be touched, everything belonged to God. It is a great sin to take what has been devoted to the Lord, and apply it to our own use. An eagle swooped down upon an altar and carried off a piece of flesh, flying with it to her nest. But a coal from the altar had clung to the flesh, and this coal set fire to the nest, consuming it. So was it when one took of the spoil of Jericho, which had been devoted to God. A curse clung to the stolen treasure, and it destroyed him who took it. So it is always when we appropriate to ourselves what should be given to God - we get a curse with it!
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eananoor · 5 years
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I’m newly practising and my friends aren’t. When they tell me things like they’re talking to their boyfriends or they’re engaging in haram I don’t support it but I don’t hype them up either. I listen to their stories for entertainment in a way. But I feel terrible because I know it’s wrong and in my heart I don’t support it but my words and attentive ear say otherwise. What should I do?
I can totally relate to this. Let me just say, may Allah (S.w.t) reward for your efforts in being a good friend. Insha’ Allah. Ameen. Here’s what I think (and hope) will work. Be yourself. My mom’s always told me that in order not to offend anyone’s way of life, I should speak about my own. Instead of saying, “Well. you really shouldn’t be doing this... a/b/c...” say, “Well, personally I’d prefer to stay away from a/b/c.... because I believe it can lead to.... a/b/c...”
 You just be yourself. And the more you do so, they’ll either appreciate your Islamic advice/ personality or they’ll leave you for it. But hey, when Allah removes, He gives in return so much better for His believing servants. So head up. Always. :) 
Remember, our religion is a beacon of light and hope for the people. You can use these opportunities to remind them of God’s love and mercy (God never gives us more than we can handle/ God gives His hardest battles to His strongest soldiers), if your friends are non-Muslim. 
I hope this helps Anonymous sender! Peace and blessings, always. :) 
Assalamu Alaikum wa Rahmatulahi wa Barakhatahu. 
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wokeastroke · 5 years
Text
The sick, disgusting scent of rotten meat hung about the temple in a foreboding, malevolent miasma. A corpse alone does not lead to such an assault on the senses, this Woke knew. There was a distinct differences between the nearly-masked scent of the Ebonsworn, no matter how taken-care-of they boasted to be, and the overpowering smells he traveled through.
 Only his experience with the dead and their aromas gave him the strength to press on. Or, perhaps his senses had already been ravaged to the point that he did not care. Either or. After checking his plates and their straps for the umpteenth time, he lurched towards the center of the darkness, where the scents seemed their strongest. That was usually the best idea when dealing with the damned. And damned they were, he mused as the steps before the church grew nearer. To be denied such a final rest was the only thing the Lance feared. Let death come, let life cease, but God’s above do not bring him back.
 The stains of dried gore and various other bodily fluids, long since dried to the stone, well-crafted steps was an ominous sign of Woke knew one. However, they were directed outward. Rather than the flowing of captives being dragged to their fate, these were the splatters of unlucky escapees. He spat in disgust. That was most definitely a full liver that had shriveled in the air and sun. Vile.Upon his back, trusted and true, was his lance. The weapon he’d chosen for this ordeal, this cursed mission of his. At his hip was a blade, beaten and battered from well-use. It’s scabbard clacked and clicked against his thigh as he ascended and drew near the door. Finally there was his shield, however this was upon his right arm already. Better to be safe than caught unawares and mangled. He hated being mangled. With a swallow, and a resolute intake of breath, he kicked outward. 
The door was strong, but the boot was stronger. A firm plant of its base caused the wood to crumple inward and split, releasing an oppressive and violent stench. Enough to activate what little he had in the way of senses immediately. Enough to draw a loud curse from his lips before he could bite his tongue.
 “What the everloving fuck..?”
 The darkness swallowed the daylight that streamed in, as if the sunbeams themselves dared not to tread too far into the rot within. And rotten it was. Corpses piled in corners, meat mixed with fluids, with metals, all collecting on the ground in an inch-thick puddle that had already begun its escape down the steps. Insects buzzed about this domain, their domain, feasting and fucking and dying and birthing in the feast they’d been blessed with. Had he a weaker stomach, Woke would’ve added his own bile to the pile.In the center of this profane testament to decay was a figure, a skeletal mass that remained full. Where the corpses around him were disfigured, dismembered, and ruined, this one looked as if it had starved. The fluttering thought perverted Woke’s mind for but a second before he cursed himself. How do you starve to death with all of this meat? 
He squelched into the room further, elves eyes training on the bodies as he searched for his quarry. He had expected the man, Bull, to be larger than life, angry, and prepared to battle. What he had not expected was the strained voice that spoke up, that coughed through blood and phlegm. 
“How long it has been...” The rasps caused the warrior to swing around, back towards the emancipated body upon the floor. Only now did he realize it’s blind, large eyes were wide open, it’s nose flaring, it’s limbs twitching. It was trying to rise.
“A decade. At least, wasn’it? Since that fuckin’ dead sack of flesh jumped me while I was mashin’ the other one.” The voice spoke out again. It’s words were split by rattling coughs and the smacking of lips. Woke stepped closer to the corpse, squinting through the darkness. Faintly, he’d see it. The same lance tattoo he held upon his cheek. There was his man. Naked, rotten, skeletal and broken. Still it attempted to rise, speaking through its difficulty.
 “Say somethin’. Never shut your fuckin’ mouth before, why’s this any different? You’n I both know dead things ain’t fuckin’ scary. How can you be afraid of somethin’ stupid enough to die once already, right?” A pained laugh followed as the thing dragged itself through the sludge and to a wall. Woke steppes forward and answered, taking the thing by its arm and sliding it up against the wall.
 “Fuck you. I came in here expecting one of them, but I found you. I know a fuckin’ skeleton stronger-lookin’ than you, Bull.”
 “Eat me. Rather, don’t. You and I both see what happens when ya eat dead man meat. Glad you’ve at least got your tongue. That and your stupid baby-face’s about the only features worth a da-“ Bull coughed, interrupted by a hunk of gunk flying from his mouth. “-fu-hu-huck. That was a bit of the lung. Fuck.”
Woke looked out for the bit, as if he could simply put it back in. Bull waved a weak hand. “Forget it. I won’t be needin’ it, if I know what you’re here for. S’why I did all this, y’know?” 
“Did what? Mulch a ton of our boys to lay around in? Look at this fuckin’ place. I’ve seen less Lance-goo at those parties Chain said he wasn’t throwing.” Both shared a disgusted chuckle. Fuckin’ Chain. Bull shook his head, his lung rattling as he inhaled again. 
“S’why I left the clues. The steps. To get ya here, to help ya. I can’t see ya, but I can feel ya. You’re worse off’n me, and that’s sayin’ somethin’ ain’t it? Problem with you, Woke’m’boy, is that you run from shit. Ya don’t run fast but ya run reeeeaaaalll long. Don’t ya?”
The more living of the two winced in pain. Embarrassment. It was true, after all. He hadn’t even been around for the burial. He’s been halfway to Kalimdor by then, his face hidden and his armor in a sack. Running. Fleeing.
 “But it’s fine. Prolly would’a done the same. Don’t blame you. And I don’t think any of them do either.” He murmured as a hand, missing its thumb and index finger, gestures limply to the fallen in the room.
 “How could we, eh? Family messes up sometimes, don’t it? And ya forgive family. I think the two words share at least one letter. So I brought ya here. Through her. Fucked as she is, anyway.” Bull coughed our a bitter laugh. 
“Y’know, I tried my hardest. I did. But they’re all men, and she was just a girl. Not enough tit-meat there, not enough pretty face-meat. No womanly fingers. Nothin’ that would’a put Mother back t’gether right. But fuck if I didn’t try.”
There was a sob caught in Bull’s throat. Oh how he’d done his best. Melding the flesh and stitching the muscle together, searching his fallen comrades for the softest of hands. But they were all soldiers, hardened by battle. Their bodies would never be right. Woke shook his head, despite how useless it might have been. 
“You did what you could. She’s beautiful. Just like how I remember her. How we all knew her. What I don’t understand, though... is why? Why bring her back? You and I both know how fucked it is to live again. Why put her through it?” 
The corpse slumped a touch, its smile fading as it searched for the words. “Out of us all, she deserved it. A second chance. A new start. Each of us had our lives and we gave’m up for metal toys and some fightin’. But her? Well... you know what Mother was. Nothin’ filled me with more sorrow than knowin’ she’d been cut down before experiencing life outside’a war. So I gave her the chance. We all agreed on it, anyway.” He pointed to each corpse in turn. Woke blinked hard, swearing for a moment that there was a shimmer in the air over each. A remnant of the Blue Lance.
When he turned back to the deader, Bull had already slumped back down again. The rattling of his breathing has quieted, the energy he had had expended in this reunion, disgusting and melancholy as it’d been. 
“Well. Was a good choice, then. When you meet’em, let ‘em know I’m glad they were able to all agree on something. Even if it was in death. Where do you want it?” Woke stood and drew his blade, the sound of metal on metal silencing the flies for a moment. As if they understood what the pregnant silence entailed. He leveled the blade at his friend, his mentor, who he’d watched and copied until he’d formed into his own brand of Lance. 
“In the head, you pretty fool. You know nothin’ else works. Get it over with.” Bull rasped out. Fighting until the very end. Besides the meaty sound of skull giving way to steel, there was nothing else from the two. The flies resumed their meal, the room continued to stink, and Woke trudged out. It was the end of an era, of twenty years of family. The next death of the Blue Lance. Now there only lay the next. But he wouldn’t be the one to do that part, no. There were two Lances out and about. Mother would be the one to finish the job. 
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