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#zooming through heaven
golswia · 11 months
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drag queen on electric scooter from the pride parade i went on, inspired me to draw this
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we-are-ignited · 10 days
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It’s taken three or four days now but I’m on book six of Heaven Official’s Blessing
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jaylaxies · 28 days
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innocently*** asking bf hee what his favorite part of your body is and he says your thighs, because "they're soft and squishy"
but rlly he loves how his dick slips right through them when he's fucking your thighs, your tiny whimpers and whines filling his ears
later on in the night when hee has you under him and he's eating you out-the feeling of your cute thighs wrapped around him made him feel like he was in heaven, hungrily eating you out until your small whines became loud moans of his name
his hands grabbing at your thighs and whenever he pulled away for a breath he gave you big bites on your inner thigh, decorating them with his teeth marks until he was satisfied
"i love your thighs, they're cute and soft. kinda wanna feel them around my neck" - if you get it??
he would probably get comfy between your thighs during cuddle sessions-knowing what they'll turn into-his head on your tummy innocently at first but then he starts squeezing your thighs and sliding down to get his taste of your honey ..!
his head between your thighs, the soft flesh rubbing against the sides of his face while your hands were in his hair, whining and pushing his head deeper.
like i totally feel like hee would take pictures of you in a skirt, obv disguising the pictures he takes as cute outfit pics but rlly he zooms into your thighs and when you're not their he thrusts into his hand imagining your thighs were wrapped around him
and would 'accidentally' be doing it on your bed so when you get home you see his cum stain on your pillow or sheet/or sometimes he would use your panties
AND DEFINITELY leave his mess for you to see, your cute little panties covered with his cum.. and when you come to him holding the panties he made a mess on-whining at him he laughs and asks if you want him to finish on your face instead ><
"what? is baby jealous of her panties? c'mere i'll make sure you get some too," and then he fucks your face nicely and when he's gonna cum he pulls out and rubs his tip against your cheeks and lips, covering your cute face in his cum <3
new anon !! ^^
he’d absolutely love to see you looking up at him all dazed, letting him do whatever he wants to you, cause you’re his good fucking doll, letting him use your thighs whenever he’s stressed, letting him eat you out so messily you squirt all over and make him smirk with how beautifully your body reacts to him, he’d eat you out for hours and hours, doesn’t matter if you’re overstimulated, he’s gotta have your cunt all to himself, almost as if your cunt is a drug and he’s addicted to it <3
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luverboychris · 3 months
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𝑩𝑨𝑩𝒀𝑺𝑨𝑻 𝑷𝑻. 1 | 𝑪𝑯𝑹𝑰𝑺 𝑺𝑻𝑼𝑹𝑵𝑰𝑶𝑳𝑶
IN WHICH.. the boy your older sister used to babysit for when he was a little kid is now all grown up— and you are too. never been touched before except for his own two hands until you finally show him what pleasure really feels like. but, don’t you dare think he’s not dirty minded…
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sub!chris x fem reader, fluff aw!!!, losing virginity, riding
note: im such a slut for shy chris like pls bby come here & relax. also this is part 1 because trust this story be juicy asf.
— 3.2k words
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chris has always been the quiet kid. sitting in the back of the class, knowing the answer but too scared to raise his hand. feeling the sweat forming on his forehead ready to drip down due to worrying if the teacher is going to call on him.
he thought maybe as he got older, grew more mature, he would finally get out of it. perhaps it was a phase. but he was now twenty.. and still the same shy kid from middle school.
he just didn’t get it. he knew his thoughts had so much potential to show his true personality and colors but it was like he had a wall that stopped them from spilling out.
chris drives into the walgreens parking lot, finding the nearest open spot. he gets out of the car and walks inside. he was in desperate need of a refill of his anxiety medication and he was rushing.
but just when the pharmacy was making his prescription, he wanders through the aisles of the store and grabs a snack and of course, a pepsi. chris isn't chris without a pepsi in his hand. he shuts the fridge door and turns his head, seeing a girl.
but he thought she looked familiar, squinting his eyes a tad thinking that would zoom in his vision. she turns her head a little more and thats when he realizes he does know her.
it was his old babysitter, how could he forget? she turns her head back and starts walking out of the aisle he was in.
“w-wait!” he shouts. her hair flips back, snapping her head towards the shouting boy.
“oh my- what the?! chris?” she exclaims. she makes her way towards him as he does nothing but stand in the same spot and smile.
“you’re all grown up, i’m freaking out right now.” your sister says. she pulls him in a hug and he lets her. he appreciated your sister so much. not having a sister of his own yet he felt like she was his big sister in a way.
she always helped him. wether it was when she would pick him up from school and he was covered in bruises from getting beaten up by the kids in his class. or, always reassuring him that everything will be okay in the end. he truly admired her.
but another thing that chris absolutely loved about her, was her little sister that was in his class at the time. and that was you. you were nothing but sweet to him. you hated how people treated him in middle school.
after middle school, you guys went your separate ways since he went to a private school, and you didn’t see him since.
when he saw your big sister, he instantly had you in mind. wondering what you were doing in life, what you look like now, if you still have the same interests as you did in middle school. and the most he was thinking about.. how your love life was.
of course his was non-existent. and he was kind of okay with it, he learned to accept it. girls never looked his way, and no way in hell would he make the first move.
you obviously didn’t know of this, but chris had the utter most biggest crush on you throughout middle school. he basically thought you were an angel sent from heaven to protect him.
chris scratches the back of his neck, “so, uh hows y/n?” he asks. he was in shock he had the balls to even ask that— but he knew he wouldn’t be able to live with himself if he walked out of the store without knowing.
your sister laughs, “she’s good! really good..” she says, “well except for the fact she just got out of a long relationship. fuck that guy, he was an asshole.” she adds. chris lets out a little laugh, your sister always overshared and he liked it.
turns out it was one of the boys that used to bully chris. fuck, did he hate that guy. and no wonder you guys didn’t end up working out, you needed a sweet boy— he thought to himself.
“she’s going to be very happy when i tell her i ran into you!” she says, “would you want her number? maybe catch up. i’m sure she would love that chris.”
his eyes widened, without making it seem like he was a nervous wreck after those words came out of your sister’s mouth. with everything in him, he wanted your number.. but he was scared. what would he say to you? would you respond? what if you block him after he presses send to the first text?
“c’mon chris.. she will love to hear from you. just say yes.” she giggles. your sister knew chris too well, always was able to read him like a book. he swore she was some type of mind reader.
“i, uh.. okay. please. yes, can i have her number?” he practically begs. she nods her head and grabs her phone, giving chris your contact. he thanks her and pulls her into a hug before saying goodbye.
but now he was home.. laying in his bed with his face up towards the ceiling. his phone right by the side of him. it was like his phone was taunting him and calling him names for being an absolute pussy. calling him out for not just turning his damn phone on and texting you already.
thoughts rolling around in his head. should he do it now? or is it too soon since he basically just got back home from catching into your sister.
should he do it later? like late at night? but no, it would look like he is hitting you up in a sexual way if its too late. he didn’t know what the fuck to do.
he lets out a big sigh. finally forcing himself to overcome his anxious thoughts and concerns as he lifts his phone up to his face. should he call you instead of text? he would be a stuttering mess if he called you— he thought to himself. but something in him did it anyway.
his hands begin to feel sweaty, the grip on his phone tightening as he presses the tip of his finger on his screen and tapping on your number.
the sound of the phone dialing, which felt like centuries for chris started to make him worry. what if you don't answer because a random fucking number is calling you? please.. please answer. —he thought to himself.
"hello..?" your voice so soft and delicate, with confusion laced in your vocals. even though chris hasn't heard your voice in years, he still instantly just felt at ease. he closes his eyes and smiles to himself.
"h-hi.." he clears his throat and tries again, "hey y/n, it's chris... sturniolo." he quitely slaps his forehead, feeling like he sounds like an absolute nerd.
"oh my go- chris? my sister was just texting me how she bumped into you at the store. damn i kind of regret not going with her now." you say. that sentence alone was enough for his cheeks to flush up in color.
he let out a nervous laugh that bounced through his speaker to your ear. "really?" he mumbles, "anyway, how are you? it's been a while, and oh.. i am sorry to hear about your breakup.." he adds.
"what the fuck? my sister told you about that? i'm going to fucking kill her i swear.. always telling people my buisness." you groan, "but, thank you chris that means a lot." he fidgets in place, knowing he shouldn't have said that to you.
"i, uh sorry.. that's my fault." he mutters.
you drag your fingers across the desk in your bedroom, holding the phone against your ear with your free hand. "hahah, no chris. i was kidding.. kind of. it's okay, that's on her not you." you catch yourself basically blabbering and you feel awkward.
"you know.. i love that you called me but i feel like we have so much to catch up on in eachother's lives." you say, "why don't you come over instead of talking back and fourth on the phone? it'd be nice to see you all grown up too." you add.
chris sits on the edge of his bed now, his hand covering his mouth to not make a single sound because fuck how much your words felt like flirting to him. even if those weren't your intentions, he loved you were at least making an effort to see him in person.
"t-that, that sounds nice yeah." he replies, "i'm free all night."
"you're in luck mr. sturniolo because i also am free all night. come to my apartment?" you ask. he takes a big gulp. he thought you would maybe ask to go to the mall, or go get ice cream. but, going over to your apartment? alone.. he was scared but no way he was letting this offer down.
"y-you sure?" he asks. he didn't want to make you feel uncomfortable, but you were far from it. you were actually excited.
"of course. why don't you come around ten-ish, huh? i'll give you my address. i'll see you then." you reply. chris gets up from his bed, looking at himself in the mirror and catches himself with the most child like grin.
he repeats your words, "see you then." and you hang up the phone. it took him a few moments until he actually removed his phone from his ear. fuck.. was he so happy. he didn't know him picking up his anxiety medication a little later than usual would end up with him being able to see you.
—that night, at your place
chris didn't feel like this was real, standing outside your door with flowers in his hand. a rush of nerves squirm throughout his body as he builds the encouragement to bring his knuckles against your apartment door.
he knocks, and he hears you rummaging on the other side of the door walking towards your entrance. you snap the door open, you look down to the floor straight up to him meeting up with his eyes.
you were not expecting him to look that cute.. yes, he was always an adorable boy in your class but now he was tall, his jawline clenched and just his whole appearance together was insanely attractive.
you lower your gaze to meet with the flowers in his hand, "flowers?" you say, "what is this? a date chris?" you laugh.
his face immediately goes red, "n-no, i, no i know this isn't a date." he replys rather quickly, "my mom just always says to bring a girl flowers.. i'm sorry."
you pull him into your apartment, "aw no chris, don't worry. i was only kidding. i love these flowers and that's very thoughtful." you almost forgot how you needed to tone it down a little with the jokes because he was a sensitive boy. "they are beautiful." you take them from his hands and walk towards your kitchen counter and gently putting them down.
you were so caught up in the flowers, while chris was doing nothing but admiring you. he always thought you were the most beautiful girl in middle school, but how did you grow up to be even more perfect in his eyes? it made him stunned.
you weren't wearing anything fancy though, just lounge wear with your hair pulled up. he stands still, staying in the exact spot you made him go in the first place. which was right by your apartment door. you turn around from the kitchen to him, "don't be shy chris. you can walk around." you say.
he snaps back, realizing he was just thinking about how good you looked without any dash of effort. he clears his throat, "right.. sorry." he says as he walks towards your couch.
"chris you know.. you don't need to apologize after everything." you mutter.
he finally gets comfortable on the couch, "you're right sorry." he says. you walk to the couch, his eyes looking up at you while you're standing right above him giving him a 'really?' look.
"i-it’s a bad habit of mine.." he whispers. your heart shattered a little when he said that, he barely said it out loud but it was enough for you to hear.
you pout at him, now sitting next to him on your couch. "you're cute, you know that?" you say. you rest your face on your hand. he tried maintaining eye contact with you but after you just threw that compliment in the air, there was no way he could.
he swallowed, "i'm cute?" he mumbles. you inch yourself just a little closer to him, now your thighs touching each other.
"oh you know you're cute." you say. he finally is brave enough to look at you now, but then looked down to your glossed lips.
"no i don't. i don't think i'm cute." he replies.
even though this was your first time seeing him in years, it already felt like you guys were back in the third period, lab partners and not paying attention to the lesson because you and chris would just talk, talk, talk.
you were always his partner in class, because no one else would. since nick and matt weren’t in the same classes.
"well you should." you snap back. you knew he needed the validation, and you didn't mind showering him with all the compliments in the world.
chris felt like he was doing a good job with keeping his composure, but he really was deteriorating on the inside. his heart rate going up through the roof and he felt a zoo of butterflies flying around in his stomach.
"i'll try my best to think that.." he mutters. you let out a giggle before unzipping your jacket completely, taking it off and letting your arms be exposed with the tank top you were wearing underneath.
"i'm sorry.. my apartment is so hot right now. i love summer but fuck am i dying of heat right now." you moan out, fanning yourself with your hand. he did everything in his power to keep his eyes focused on your face, and not let them wander to your body.
you stand up a little, your knees on the couch as you reach for the thermostat that's right next to you on the wall. you didn't even mean to, but you were completely bent over in front of chris and now he has failed. his eyes burning into your lower half. your shorts a little too short for his liking because the right amount of your ass was being revealed to him.
you were teasing the fuck out of him without even knowing it. you lower the temperature, going back to sitting right next to chris. "ahh, okay it'll get colder in here soon." you say. he just nods, trying his best not to replay the image of you bent down in front of him over and over in his head.
but his hormones didn't let him, resulting in his dick to grow underneath his boxers and shorts. fuck.. the last thing he wanted to happen was to get hard by you infront of you. he began to feel embarrased, making sure you wouldn't notice.
he looks down at his boner for a split second then back up to you, pulling his hands to cover his area in a nonchalant way. but no girl is stupid.. and they can always tell when a guy is trying to cover up a boner.
he readjusts himself on the couch as you guys are talking back and fourth about your life. you catch him fidgeting his legs, "chris.. are you okay?" you ask.
"wha-? oh, y-yeah. i'm fine." he says. here comes the stuttering.
"it doesn't look like you're fine." you reply. usually he would keep denying it, but he trusts you.
"if you want me to be honest.. and i'm sorry before i say this if it makes you uncomfortable.." he says, "i'm hard and i was trying to make sure you didn't see."
his hands part away, now letting you see his dick poking through his shorts. you feel yourself become warm, and it wasn't because your apartment was.
a brush of horniness absorbs into your skin as you keep looking down, him looking at you with innocent and guilty eyes.
"oh, uh it׳s okay.." you mumble out. he felt like you were disgusted by him, grabbing a hold on your arm.
"n-no fuck! i'm sorry, i really am. i didn't mean to make you grossed out i swear." he pleads. you look down at the grip he has on your arm and then look back at him.
"chris, seriously don't worry.. do you know how many times a girl gets wet from something and has no control over it? it's not your fault that for guys you can physically see when something riles you up." you say with all honestly. that relieved him, instantly making him feel better.
"besides, it's kind of hot." you blurt out. your words make his head snap back towards you, a wave of shock hitting him.
"wait uh, w-what?" he says. you shrug your shoulders, as you clench your thighs together.
"you got hard from thinking about me. it's hot. you have a problem with that?" you ask. he shakes his head ‘no’ so much, his head almost fell off.
"n-no. i don't have a problem with that." he says, "i just am not used to this. i haven't been alone in a room with a girl."
"chris what?! does that mean you're a virgin? wait.. have you even kissed a girl?" you ask. you know he was shy and innocent.. but not that innocent.
his face turns red, attempting to cover his face with his right hand. "yes, im a virgin. and no i haven’t kissed anyone.." he mumbles into his hand.
his pureness was honestly attractive to you.
"wow." you say, "but have you atleast touched yourself?"
the truth was, he touched himself a little too much. the amount of times he has watched porn and jerked off was an unhealthy amount. or even just using his imagination. and, there was no way he was going to admit to you that you have crossed his mind while he was stroking himself.. picturing what you looked like all grown up.
and you fit his description perfectly, as you were now sitting right next to him.
"yeah, i have.." he mumbles, "hey listen.. just because i'm a prude doesn't mean i don't have a d-dirty mind." he adds. you raise your eyebrows at him, shocked that he said that to you.
"dirty mind? i don't believe you chris." you smirk. he didn't even know he slipped that out, his breathing becoming uneven.
"yeah." he says, "i know when the time comes, i will make my girl feel really good." suddenly confidence was rushing through his veins. and it was making you bite your lip at him.
"oh yeah? you will make your girl feel good? i don't know.. i can't believe that." you reply, teasing him.
"i swear!" he softly yells out. you were trying not to get wet at the sneaky plan you were thinking in your head.
"care to prove it?" you snap back. and that's when his confidence that was building up inside him disappears. his palms are sweaty again and his cock was just growing by the second.
“mhm..” he says with a shaky tone.
go read—> press here part 2
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─── aid speaks ᝰ.ᐟ ───
╰┈ ⌞₊˚ est. jan 23 2024🗒 ˎˊ˗ ⌝
okay this is lowk long and i want the smut to be in part 2 or else this will be as long as a harry potter novel ong. hope u enjoyed it i love u guys so much?! like thank you for reading my other story, i cant believe it hit 100 likes im stunned. here are tags of people who i wanna marry so badly bruh
@mattslolita @gamermattsgf @plasticferal @m4ttslvr @mattybsbitch @recklessmatt @sturniololol @angelic-sturniolos111 @mattshands @sugrhigh @imwetforyourmom @sturnspoison
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actual-changeling · 6 months
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This post is going to show you the EXACT moment that tear forms with indisputable evidence that consists of several screencaps, detail shots, and slowed down video proof, which will be at the very end.
The tear and I are getting married, her name is Trina and I love her.
Let's get right into it. Be prepared for uh. Very painful facial expressions! And tears (at the end).
We're going to look through the final fifteen chronologically with pit stops at important emotional points that I think would make sense to cause a tear.
As you can see, we go into this argument with mostly dry eyes, a little glistening here and there but those are NOT tears. Probably just the contacts plus the lack of blinking making his eyes a bit more moist than your usual pair. The tear will be obvious.
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Obvious disbelief when Aziraphale tells him about the Metatron's bullshit, yes, but Crowley soldiers on through.
Now a scene that I personally thought would be most likely to cause tears - "tell me you said no". However - his eyes stay dry! Both before and after Aziraphale's non-answer. No tears.
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The best spot to look at is his waterline, and as you can see it's free of any sad tears.
We have reached the "go off together" stage, Crowley is yelling, they're both emotionally perturbed, a very good foundation for tears. Yet when you look at his eyes during and right after, they're still dry!
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We are now right before Crowley says "you can't leave this bookshop" and when he does BOOM the tear is suddenly there!
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This is what our tear looks like, and we have a very narrow time frame during which it can appear. So it is time for the grand reveal because by now you're probably yelling at me "okay but WHEN does it show up??"
I will tell you. Or rather, I will show you first and then tell you what Aziraphale said right before that triggered it. Ready?
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There it is. Left - no tear. Right - tear. (no i will not make the trivago joke again i want to but i wont.)
Come with me! To heaven! I'll run it, -> no tear yet. It appears after the next part.
you can be my second in command THAT is what causes the tear to finally show up. Right as Aziraphale finishes his sentence you can watch as it appears.
As promised, here is the video evidence, slowed down by half and zoomed in on Crowley's face at the end.
Alright, have you seen enough tears? Good! Let's look at the emotional reason. Because your question is probably what is so special about that sentence that it tips Crowley over the edge?
That one sentence, that one "promise" Aziraphale makes him, destroys everything. All of it in one go.
It is not just about Aziraphale choosing heaven over him, it's not about him saying no to running away (Crowley probably saw that coming anyway). What Aziraphale does is he takes them, their us and eliminates it.
Not just is he telling Crowley that he's an evil demon tm who needs to be an angel to be worthy of staying in Aziraphale's life, but "second in command" takes that even further.
Not "ruling together" or "ruling side by side" or any variation of those. No, Aziraphale is telling him that they are not equal and never have been. That Crowley has always been inferior to him and always WILL BE even if he stops being a demon and does what Aziraphale wants.
This is why Crowley no longer things of them as an us after all of that. Aziraphale took every single meaning it had and inverted it, crushed it up, and then threw it away.
Yeah.
Crowley is telling him he is gay and in gay love with him. Aziraphale takes that and says "you can be my employee at gay conversion therapy which i will run #straight besties".
Crowley hears "second in command" and it is the last puzzle piece falling into place. It's the final straw and that is when we get the tear. Before that he was saying we can be together, be an us, just the two of us, you and me. He was referring to them as free equals who don't need heaven or hell, who are happy with everything the way it is. An Aziraphale who loves Crowley no matter what his former occupation might have been.
We could have been us. (I wanted us to be an us)
And Aziraphale's answer to that is there has never been an us and we never will be. i don't love you the way you love me.
Anyway, see y'all on my next angst post or in the tags. Have another devastating screencap to wrap this all up nicely 💚
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s-4pphics · 5 months
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click! 2 (e.w.)
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SYNOPSIS: you need a roommate, and you love eggplant. [college au]
WORD COUNT: 5.7k 
WARNINGS: photographer/roommate!ellie, ocs an artist with a rep, all ocs r black coded, crack, alcohol, arguments, more slut-shaming, bullying, disordered eating, brief mentions of sexual harassment/assault, sex for like a second, failed orgasms, masturbation, slight exhibitionism 
one. three. four.
A/N: heyyyyy…. how yall doin🤭🤭 a little something before i go back to work kms 
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“So, lemme get this straight,” Abby pinches a lollipop stick between her fingers like it’s a blunt, adjusting the invisible glasses on her face, “The psycho just barged in?” 
“With all of her shit! Didn’t even bother to say good morning or anything!” 
It’s been hours since the squash-loving hermit took refuge in your home, and you’re sizzling with rage as you recall the events from earlier. You clocked out zoomed to Abby’s building in no time. 
“Damn… why didn’t you call security… or the landlord? She can’t just move in without signing the contract.” 
You pace around Abby’s rug-covered space, “Bitch, I don’t fuck with feds and rent’s due in two days!” You holler, “And she did sign the contract! I haven’t signed it yet because I didn’t know she was gonna show up and act like that. You’re not disrespecting me in my own house.” 
Her head shakes, “What’d I tell you? If it were me… we wouldn’t have any problems.” 
You point a scolding finger at the smirking blonde girl, “Yes, we fucking would. Don’t start.” 
But she presses anyway, “I think we’d be a match made in heaven, actually.” She rises from the couch and hovers over you, the tip of your index connecting with her strong, covered chest. Your glare persists, but there’s warmth pulling in your gut from her scent. 
Your skin is flaming; This is why you’ll never be able to have a serious conversation — or anything, for that matter — with Abby. Her raunchy remedies aren’t going to work in this situation; You’re too stressed. 
“But anyway,” Her brow arches and she backs off. Slightly. “You’re an adult and main tenant. You gotta handle it soon.” She ponders for a moment, “But to be fair, you texted her first.” 
“How many times do I have to say that I was lit as fuck! I don’t even remember— “
Abby’s taunting expression makes you pause, nails digging into the skin of your palms. 
“Don’t.”
Your hiss makes her snort, “I didn’t say anything.”
“You don’t have to. It’s not funny.” 
Abby knows you and Dina’s history better than anyone. Knows exactly how you got caught up in “situationship” nonsense, all with liquor and a phone. You can’t fault Abby for recognizing the familiarity, but a burning sting rests in your chest. Embarrassment spreads all over your cheeks, and you announce your departure in a rush. 
Her regret is evident in the way she calls out for you, but you’re out the door in seconds, slamming it as hard as the frame can hold. 
The winter air hits your eyes first… You try to convince yourself, hastily wiping the wet trails off your face. You’re not fucking crying over Dina. Not again. 
You snatch your phone from your pocket to ask Amaya for advice, but your heart swells when you see her messages. 
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You think back to all the times she’s coddled you through your emotions: she drops everything to tend to your needs, no matter how big or small. Guilt would put you in the ground if she ruins her opportunity for your convenience; You can’t tell her. She deserves to enjoy herself. You match your best friend’s excitement all the way back to your car.
Abby called twice during the drive back home, but you didn’t answer. You know she wasn’t being malicious, but you’re sensitive, especially when it comes to anything related to Dina. 
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You rip your apartment door open and find Ellie lounging on your fucking couch with Love Island playing from her laptop. And eating peanuts… with Chick-Fil-A ranch? 
You slam her device shut, words sharp as nails, “I don’t know who you think you are, but I’m telling you right now, you’re not fucking staying here.” You’re shredding through skin with your glare, but she’s not reacting. Just sitting there and crunching, eyes void. 
“Don’t even think about unpacking. You’re getting out tonight, I can promise you that.” 
“No, I’m not.” 
“What.”
She merely shrugs, “I’m not going anywhere.” 
“What the fuck— “
More cracked shells, more munching; Your eyelid is jerking. 
“Rent’s on the counter, by the way.” 
You hold back a scoff before marching into the kitchen, eyeing the envelope labeled fake ass mortgage. You hear the contestants from the reality show resume their dialogue, but you’re locked on how thick the letter looks to bother scolding. 
It’s torn open… and filled with hundred-dollar bills. Way more than half of rent. Ellie might’ve covered the heat bill for the rest of winter. 
“I thought you were a fucking photographer.” The shock in your voice is clear as day, mindlessly returning to the living room. 
“I am.” She calls dryly. 
“No, you’re not.” You toss the money on the coffee table. “The fuck do you do on the side? Sell drugs to freshmen?” 
“Sure.” 
When your arms cross over your chest with an accusatory stare, she sighs. “I told you. I take pictures.” 
“Of who? The fucking councilman?” 
Another shrug. “Whoever asks. It’s how I make money…” A light pause. “At least until I secure this job.” 
You squint at her, “I thought you got evicted. You’re clearly fit to pay rent on your own.” 
That seems to shake her a little, staring back with hardened eyes, “And who the fuck are you to question me? The reason I’m here is because of you!” 
“Exactly! This...” Arms waving around the living room. “…is my fucking space! You’re a straggler at best.” 
A weighted huff escapes her before she tosses her snack on the table and stands, leaning over the table. 
“You would’ve been in the same position as me if I didn’t show up. No where to fucking go,” She spits. “If you want me gone, fine. But when your landlord comes knocking on your fucking door asking why you’re two weeks late, don’t say shit to me.” 
You waver slightly and she notices, smirk darker than her pupils. You’re steaming; Smoke is going to come out of your ears soon. 
“The same goes for you. I don’t wanna hear your fucking voice, and don’t touch anything that I paid for,” You command, “Don’t even breathe in my space. Stay on your side and I’ll stay on mine.” 
A condescending grin plasters onto her face. 
“Where’d you hide that lease?” 
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Your heart is too weak for hatred… or so you thought. 
Abby, Amaya… everyone you’ve fucking talked to about the bitch right across the hall thinks that she’s dangerous and sick and out for blood. 
They’re all wrong. It’s you. 
Ellie is conjuring up something villainous deep inside you; Her childish antics started off small: bumping against the wall in the middle of the night, leaving her dirty ass shoes out of place by the front door, not laying the rugs that she slipped on flat… Incredibly annoying, but fixable. 
You took the time to construct a new roommate agreement that fit your unique situation the morning after your argument. It was sloppily scribbled on a crumpled piece of construction paper, but it was a symbol of peace. You taped it to her door before you left for your shift, only to return and see it ripped up and scattered in front of your door. 
It’s been five days since then. Five, and you can already feel a bald spot forming at the back of your skull. To think that Ellie was your first option as a roommate just days ago is laughable now. You know that none of the tricks she’s pulling are accidental. You pride yourself in being observant, and you always catch that prideful look on her face when she nails one of your peeves. 
You try to be here when Ellie’s not, but she’s always home when you are. Music blasting in the wee hours of the night knowing you have three upcoming shifts to cover, on the couch rewatching the same episode of Love Island over and over while you make your breakfast, pretending to talk on the phone to friends she doesn’t have as loudly as possible. You’re fucking tired and you’re holding your hand back from slapping her. 
But the worst part is that she’s stocked your fridge with fucking squash. Top to bottom in all colors there is. Filled the drawers with one called cucurbita argyrosperma. You were torn between curling in hysterics and beating it over your new roommate's head; The petty side of your brain wishes that you were allergic so you could “accidentally” eat some, die, and get her locked up, but you hushed it. She’s fucking with you, but rent and some bills are paid for the month. What a sick turn of events. 
You’re plotting, though. Something’s brewing, and Abby’s helping you. It’s finally Saturday, and college kids are fiending for a rager. 
The only quality that you respect about Ellie is that she’s clean. She washes her dishes, does her laundry (separate from yours, thank God), and she’s deep-cleaned the bathroom twice already. Ellie despises large messes more than you, though, since you’re willing to sacrifice your tidy abode to piss her off. Let the ruckus in!
You heard her leave early this morning, and you’ve noticed that when she’s gone, she’s gone, which gives you all the time to plan. You skip to the bathroom like a kid in a candy store, showering, brushing your teeth, doing skincare. You whip up the hardiest breakfast you can before your mall venture with Abby; It’s been days since you’ve last nutted, and you need a new vibrator. And new paintbrushes. 
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“… Why haven’t you beat her ass again?” 
It only took Abby buying food for you to forgive her. You slurp down your strawberry milkshake, “Fear of permanent imprisonment.” 
“Does Maya know what’s been going on?” Abby asks, shaking her head. 
“Fuck no, and she’s never going to. Have you seen her Snaps?” You whip out your phone and show her Amaya’s stories; She’s exploring and meeting new people. “She’s having a ball! The second I tell her what’s been going on, she’s gonna drop everything and come back. I’m not doing that to her.” 
“You’re the only outlet I have, so suck it up and listen to me bitch and moan.” You continue, “Who’s coming tonight?” 
She smiles, “As many as I could get.” 
“Please tell me Armani’s coming.” 
“She is, for sure.” 
Your heart flutters. Armani… She’s everything you could ever want and need. She’s kind, smart, drop-dead gorgeous, and she bench presses with Abby on the weekends. She has your clit jumping like a salmon in the freshwater, and you’re going to see her tonight. 
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You jump awake at your alarm, eyes stinging as you glance at your phone. It’s a little past nine; Pregaming hours. 
You throw your lazy body into the shower and conduct your special-occasions ritual, blasting your music as loud as the speaker would allow, scrubbing your body with exfoliant to your heart's content. 
You exit, water cascading down your shoulders and back, towel engulfed around your body. You have no idea what to fucking wear; What color does Armani like? Do lesbians qualify for the red nail theory or is that something heteros made up for TikTok followers? What if she doesn’t like eucalyptus scented body wash? 
You swallow your doubts with a shot glass. 
Outfit prepping takes longer than expected, but you’re dressed, titties are out, and your thoughts are swirling like the liquor in your gut. You should call Amaya and tell her you love her—
Another shot, more dancing. You’re spinning around your small room to the bass of the beat, sloppily pulling every shot that you can, back arching and hips throwing in any direction they can. 
The bass sounds louder the more you dance, every thud rattling the poster-covered walls of your room. 
It’s not until the bass surpasses the song that you realize it’s not bass at all. It’s knocking… on your bedroom door. You snicker; Abby’s here with your girl. 
You don’t know why she’s boxing with your door, though. Beating the shit out of it. When you yank it open, you’re instantly annoyed at who appears behind it. 
A… gray sweat clad Ellie propped against the door frame, arms crossed over her chest and red hairs framing her face. You force your eyes upward, right in between hers. The dots on her face look like skittles. Since when does she have a fucking tattoo? Are you hallucinating or is it a fat ass leaf with eyeballs?
You barely registered what she said, “Can you turn that off? It’s almost eleven.” 
“Why, absolutely-the-fuck-not.” You slur, and she cringes, nose wrinkling at the scent of liquor on you. “Where’s Abby?” 
Ellie’s biceps are… out on the prowl. And the veins in her hands are still there. Just checking. Right between her eyes again. 
“Who the hell is that?” 
“My bitch.” You chuckle.
Ellie’s eyes widen and you correct yourself. 
“N-Not bitch like whore. Bitch like… like, that’s my bitch! She’s great, love her. BFF… not over Amaya, though.”
Ellie’s getting annoyed; Her nose won’t stop twitching. “… Is she coming over?” 
“She should be on her way.”
“Is she stupid?” 
“What.” 
“Is your… bitch stupid?” 
“Um, no, she’s not fucking stupid. What the hell are you on.” You snap, offended for your friend. 
“Tell her to stay the fuck home before she gets buried.” 
… Did Ellie just threaten to kill one of your sneaky-links? Before she gets buried? 
“And what the fuck are you gonna do? Just so you know, whatever you do, she’ll double it and send it back! And I’m jumping in, so— “ 
Your roommate’s gawking in disbelief. “… I meant buried by the snow, you fucking idiot. There’s a blizzard outside.” 
You’re flatlining, you can feel it. 
“There’s a what.” 
“Check the damn news.” She pushes herself off the wall and turns towards her room, “And go to bed. Looks like you need it.” 
Her door slams shut. She’s definitely poking fun at your eyebags. You thought you did a good job at concealing them. 
A fucking blizzard? December just started. You check your phone, reading the influx of messages from your dad, Amaya, Abby telling you to stay safe and indoors and the party’s cancelled because of the storm and you want to fucking die—
You tear a slit in your blinds and… yup. Pure white is pelting from the dark gray clouds in the sky, the formerly black street painted ivory with ice. Not a car in sight, and if they are, they’re covered entirely. 
The harsh reality hasn’t even set in yet. The girl you want to strangle is trapped inside with you; She’s not going anywhere, either. You’re going to be forced to see her everywhere in your two-bedroom apartment. And you’re not having sex tonight. 
Plan PISS-ELLIE-OFF was a bust. You’re drunk and hungry—
Your eyes bulge; When was the last time you’ve gone grocery shopping? 
You clumsily rush to the kitchen, nearly ripping your fridge door off the handle. When you're met with the pack of cream cheese and mini croissants you bought last week and all of Ellie’s fresh groceries (including squash), you almost start crying. You slept away all your pre-storm chore hours. 
Ellie pads in the kitchen with an empty ice cream carton and spoon, headphones blasting in her ears. She doesn’t acknowledge you as she throws away the carton and grabs the unopened bag of salt and vinegar chips. Your mouth waters. 
You watch as she rips the bag open, the salty, bitter aroma traveling into your nostrils. 
“Ellie.” She can’t hear you over the fuckery penetrating her eardrums! 
You tap her shoulder harder than necessary. “Don’t touch me.”
“WHY DIDN’T YOU TELL ME THERE WAS A STORM?”
Her veiny hand — fuck — pushes one of her ear cups over to the side, not even bothering to look at you as she fills her bowl to the brim with the crunchy snack; You never noticed how heavily pierced her left ear is. 
“Who are you again?” 
Alright. Your tongue gets loose, “You know, you don’t have to act like a fucking cunt all the time! I tried to be nice to you and—” 
“Yeah, ‘cause shit talking me with your friends is so fucking nice.” She scoffs and turns, pointed glare set on you. Your stomach drops. How the fuck did she know that?
“Drop the fucking act already. You’re also a cunt…” Her eyes drag over your appearance. “Amongst other things, evidently.” 
Ellie’s eyes hold so much disdain, and you instantly feel exposed and gross. Your face sears with embarrassment, arms mindlessly crossing over your chest in attempts to cover up. 
“… What the fuck does that mean?” You know what she means. 
“You think I’m a fucking freak and a loser and a bunch of other shit I’ve been called since forever?” She sneers, “Then you’re a fucking slut. How’s that for nice?” 
Your body locks up, freezes, and you fight back vomit. Ellie grabs her bowl and exits the kitchen, door slamming shut, leaving you to simmer in her spite. 
You don’t feel hungry anymore. 
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You didn’t drink enough last night. You’re awake, and you remember everything. And you’re so fucking hungry. 
Guilt festers in your chest like rats, and anxiety is building in your fingers. Your head hurts so bad and your mouth is dry, but you refuse to move from under your blankets to get water. You didn’t even have the energy to take your make-up off last night, mascara and small sparkles smeared all over your pillowcase. 
You wallow, using the heavy wind outside as stress relief. People really think you’re a whore with no self-respect, even after a year. Your heart’s hitting against your ribcage at an alarming pace. Deep breaths, that’s all you can do. 
Tears jerk in your eyes as you recall every unwanted stare, every cat-call, every grope and dirty text message you’ve received from people you both know and don’t. You freeze and… that’s it. You just don’t move and hope they can read that you’re scared. 
Does Ellie feel the same way when people talk poorly about her? 
Your breathing techniques aren’t working so you sit up, shaking your hands and digging your palms into your wet eyes. You’re suddenly too hot for blankets. 
Your clock reads near noon; You’ve been awake for hours. Your feet plant on the cool wood and sigh in relief before standing and snagging your new paint brushes off your dresser. 
Your hands tremble as you fill a water cup and grab a black canvas, setting up your workspace on the floor. You squirt hues of blue, green and white on a dried paper plate and let your brush do the work; You’re not thinking, just painting, smudging, trapping yourself in emptiness. The scene you’re creating is drying your tears; You wish you could escape into the grass field, even for a second. 
Your water cup is brown by the time you finish; How long have you been sitting here? The needles in your legs tell you long enough. Your vision will have to wait. 
You unlock and quietly open the door… It doesn’t matter, though. Ellie’s awake and silently sitting on the couch. You pay her no mind and venture to the fridge for your croissants and cream cheese, throwing your pastries in the microwave. 
Eyes are on you. You feel them in your back. 
When the microwave dings, you spread cream cheese all over the buttery dough. Ellie’s hoarse voice freezes you. Not again. 
“The blizzard… isn’t stopping.”
You finally inspect your roommate: leg bouncing and brows furrowed, nails between her teeth, eyes locked on the window that shows the heavy snowfall. 
“Usually how they work.” 
Your sarcasm doesn’t move her, “They said it would pass after a couple of hours yesterday! It hasn’t let up yet!”
“Never listen to weathermen. They make shit up as they go.” You keep your voice curt while you make your plate. It looks a hot mess; You wish you had blackberry jam. 
“They can’t make shit up when there’s money on the fucking line!” You hear footsteps from behind you; Ellie’s pacing. “I have a client today. Their photos were supposed to go in my portfolio before I submit it!” 
Her statement makes you pause. You didn’t think about that; It’s impossible to travel anywhere at the moment. How the fuck are you going to get to work? You can’t afford to miss shifts. It’s almost that time of the month. 
“This was one of the biggest bookings I’ve gotten and I’m gonna miss it because of the fucking weather!” 
You don’t know why she's talking to you, so you cut the conversation short. “You’ll figure it out.”  You enter your room without another word, slamming the door as hard as noise complaints would allow. 
After a few minutes, Ellie’s door slams, too. 
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Hours pass and you’re covered in paint. Your one flower field turned into three, one with detailed butterflies, one with raining rose petals, one with your mother’s name spelled out with clouds. 
Your fingers are sore, but you feel lighter. Those croissants wore off a long time ago; You’re starving. What you’d give for grilled eggplant and shrimp with Greek yogurt and lemon juice—
A soft knock lands on your door, and you stiffen. You stand, legs popping and arms stretching over your head as you wobble to your door. 
The second it opens, you're hit with the smell of garlic and herbs and your mouth waters. Ellie stands over you, playing with her fingers. You don’t register that you’re missing pants until she gawks at your bare legs; Warmth spreads across your body and you maneuver so she can’t see them behind the door. 
A moment of awkward silence before she chokes, “There’s, uh… there’s soup on the stove.” You scoff, ignoring the growling in your stomach. 
“I don’t like squash, Ellie.” 
The door slams in her face and she sighs behind the wood. 
Later that night, you sneak into the dark kitchen, the big pot of soup still on the stove. You open the lid and inspect its contents: shredded chicken, carrots, fucking… green leaves of some sort. You grab a spoon and taste it to be safe. It’s good, and there’s no squash in it. You eat two warm bowls. 
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The storm calms when you wake the next morning. Thank God; You haven’t had coffee in days. 
Ellie’s gone for the day, so you blast music while in the shower. You dry and dress in silence, yanking your underwear and jeans up your legs, throwing on a pair of earmuffs over your earphones and a puffer. 
You almost slip on the ice from the sidewalk on the way to you and Abby’s coffee shop before heading to class like normal. You go grocery shopping before your first shift. 
Work drags on like normal, legs numb from standing and throat dry from sale attempts at checkout. Who the fuck wants to apply for a credit card for a coffee machine website? 
It’s not until your shift is on its last limbs that your heart stops in your chest. The bell rings to the hardware store, and you instantly rush to the back to retrieve your other coworker. It’s Dina. What the fuck. 
You burst into the break room, “Raja, Raja, I need a favor.” 
She slurps her ramen, exclaiming what around her soggy noodles. 
You search for any heads and whisper, “There’s someone I used to fuck outside! Can you take care of her, please, I can’t— “
“Okay, okay, damn. I got it— “
The service bell rings, “Go, go! Hurry up!” Your coworker swallows her noodles and plasters her smile on her face. You hide behind the cracked door and listen to everything. 
“Hey, ladies! Sorry about the wait!” 
“No problem!” Dina’s laugh sends a pain in your chest, “I just needed a new bike lock. Someone tried to steal mine, like, what the fuck.” 
There’s an unfamiliar laugh that melds with Dina’s. “No problem! Would you like to sign up for a Coffee Brewers credit card with your purchase? They’ll repair all filter baskets and decanters for 45% off!” 
You almost smile; Dina doesn’t drink coffee. Raja checks them out, and you peer out the small opening of the door. Dina and… whoever the fuck that is are snuggled up behind the service counter, her head resting on the random’s shoulder. They’re whispering and laughing and you’re disgusted. And sad. 
They depart with a small bag and Raja almost smashes the door into your face. 
“What the fuck are you doing?” 
“Mourning.” 
“Damn… sorry, man.” 
You shrug and thank your coworker before returning to your position. What could’ve been. 
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It’s late when you get home. 
Ellie’s on the couch; You feel her watch as you unlace your boots and unravel your scarf. You set your bag on the floor and grab your Cheesecake Factory brown bread loaf for your grilled PB&J. Ellie clears her throat; You say nothing. 
She coughs louder when you butter your bread. 
“Are you sick or something?”
Ellie whips her head around, “No, why?” 
“You’re coughing like you’re gonna die.” 
Your roommate doesn’t reply, so you turn and toast your bread on the stove. 
“How was the soup?” 
Your eyes bulge, “Huh?” 
“Did it taste… like, decent?” 
You stare down at your sizzling toast, “I dunno what you mean.” 
Voice flat as ever, she says, “The soup… you had some— “
“No, I didn’t— “
“Wha— I know what was in the pot when I ate. You had some—” 
You face her, skin boiling, “Okay, and what about it? Yes, I ate some! I would’ve had three bowls instead of two if I wasn’t so fucking tired! It was good as fuck! I slept like a baby!” 
She calls your name but you ignore her, “Sorry, I got my disgusting, slutty germs all over your stupid chicken noodle soup! Is that what you wanna hear! What, are whores not allowed food, either?! Why’d you offer it to me then?!” 
Another rushed call of your name, but you press on, “Y’know, you’re actually weird as fuck! Who calls someone a filthy, bottom of the barrel gutter rat then offers them soup the next day! What kinda limbo fuckery are you playin’ at— “
BEEP, BEEP, BEEP… BEEP—
You gasp when the fire alarm sounds. When you turn, your toast is charred black and surrounded by dark smoke. You cut the heat off and push the pan over. Ellie’s running with a towelette, waving it around the beeping alarm. 
You grab a washcloth and help her, and eventually it cuts off. Ellie rushes over to the front door and switches the ceiling fan on. 
Your sandwich is fucking ruined. Great! 
You don’t know why you’re sobbing, but it’s loud. You just want to go to fucking bed. Ellie’s just standing there with a towel in hand, fiddling with her earlobe. How embarrassing. 
You push yourself off the counter and turn to go to your room, but Ellie calls for you. 
“What?! What now, Ellie!” 
She cringes, “I— You’re not a… slut?” 
Your teary eyes squint at her. “Are you asking me— “
“No! No, I’m… Sorry? You’re not a slut.” This is the weirdest apology you’ve ever received in your entire goddamn life. 
“Well, fuck me! Thanks!” You snark between sniffles. You yank your bedroom door open.
“You’re good at painting!” She shouts, and you stop. 
For some reason, you sob harder, and she panics, “Uhh… I mean, like, for an amateur! Like, you’re decent enough!” 
Now you’re… laughing? You need to sleep now. Ellie chuckles uncomfortably, and you snicker darkly to yourself, “Life is a fucking joke, oh my god.” 
Your fingers dig deep into your wet eyes, and Ellie’s sock-covered feet pad closer. 
“Look, I’m not… I don't know what to say.” 
“Then don’t talk.” 
“‘Kay.” 
She stands there in silence and watches you wipe your face on your sweater sleeve, mascara smearing all over the fabric. 
“Why didn’t you use squash in the soup?” 
“Uh… you wouldn’t have eaten it if I did.” 
You nod and stare at the wall. “So, what? That was a peace offering?” 
Ellie contemplates what she should say. 
“Not really… I mean, I was hungry, but I didn’t care if you ate… some of it, if that makes sense.” 
It doesn’t. “Whatever, I’m going to bed.” Her lip curls like she wants to add something, but she doesn’t. 
“… Alright.” 
“Don’t worry about the pan. I’ll get it tomorrow.” And just like that, you shut the door on her again. 
You don’t have the energy to shower, so you undress and tuck yourself in. Your room is warmer than usual. 
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Ellie’s been acting differently since then. 
For the past three days, she’s been greeting you whenever you’re in her line of vision. She even mumbled hi before she took her seat in stats yesterday. It’s awkward and stiff, but there’s always a wave somewhere in her movements. You nod back at her every time. 
You’re not sure where your relationship lies with your roommate, but it’s not as… bad? Seeing her doesn’t bother you as much as it did; You suppose it’s the same for her, too. 
You’re exhausted; Finals are around the corner, and you’re busting your ass. You had to get another job for the holiday season since it’s you and your dad’s first Christmas together since you were little, and you want to get him something nice. 
All you need is a good nut and you’re set for the next two weeks. You miss Abby. She’s been just as busy with nonsense as you have, but you found time to see her later tonight. 
You’re stuck in the library trying to make the concept of categorical variables stick, but it’s not working. You’re in a block because you’re thinking about Abby. She should be here to pick you up soon. 
You slam your book shut when your phone goes off, a message from… Ellie. 
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You set your phone down with a small smile. What a weirdo. 
You force yourself to study for another hour. Heavy hands clamp down on your shoulders and you shriek, other students looking up in confusion, your hand clasping over your mouth. 
Abby’s laughing behind you, warm breaths hitting your ear before she kisses your cheek. 
“Hi.” She whispers. 
“Hi yourself.” 
“Pack that shit up.” Abby points at your books and messy stacks of paper. “Let’s roll.” 
You don’t hesitate, shoving everything in your bag in anticipation of your nut. Your clit’s cheering; She’s finally happy. 
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You’re warm, well-fed, and Abby’s drilling the fuck out of you, but you can’t cum.
Your face is shoved into your friend’s pillow; She’s hitting exactly where you need her to, and it feels good. You’re tipping, but you haven’t tipped. You’ve been on the verge of orgasming for the past ten minutes and it’s driving you crazy. 
Your voice is barely there, “Just cuuum, just cum, just cum—“ You’re begging… yourself into her pillow. 
Abby sounds so sexy behind you; You’re shocked you’re not convulsing at the sound of her voice alone. 
After some time, her hips slowed into a stop, tip nudged inside you. 
“… You good?” She exhales.
You throw her two thumbs up. You’re not good at all. 
Abby snorts and pulls out, gently patting your hip, “Sit up and talk to me.” 
Your legs give out from underneath you and you lay flat. Abby hands you a washcloth and you wipe between your legs while she unstraps her dick. 
“I think I’m broken.” You muffle into her slobbery pillowcase. 
“You’re not broken, you’re just not feeling it. It’s fine.”
She’s too sweet. You want to cry, “I’m sor— “
“Don’t you dare. Finish your Wingstop.” 
“Okay.” You grumble. 
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Abby drops you off after the movie finishes. The red string that connects her clit to yours snaps as you waddle back up to your apartment. 
You enter your shared home and you’re instantly freezing; Ellie’s not here. She hates sleeping when it’s cold. 
You and your pussy sigh in relief. Just five minutes by yourself; that’s all you need. Your shoes and backpack are thrown to the side in the nick of time, bursting through your bedroom door and rummaging through your drawer. Your cunt screams eureka when your vibrator turns on. You don’t remember charging the son of a bitch! 
Your pants and panties are lunged across your bedroom and you leap into bed. Your toy’s buzzing in your hand, and your walls squeeze in anticipation. Foreplay be damned. 
Your eyes shut the second the vibrations hit your clit, trying to imagine a sweaty Abby on top of you, fucking you deep, choking you out. Your orgasm is right there, walls desperately trying to milk the brisk air around you. You shove two free fingers inside, and your muscles latch onto them, pulling them in deeper. It’s right there, just a little more. 
“Please, please, c’mon, fuck— “
Your pleas go ignored. Your imagination has never failed you, so why can’t you fucking cum? 
Desperate sobs combine with your moans, brain filled with Abby, and Dina. Even Armani slips her way in there and you’ve seen her twice in person, but it’s useless. Your peak never comes. 
You’re seconds away from shattering your window with your fucking vibrator. You and Ellie can’t afford to get that shit fixed—
Your clit jumps at the brief image of your roommate, pissed off and berating you about breaking a fucking window. You hate that you don’t fight it, the visions of her and her strong arms, her twitchy nose, her dot-covered face. It’s stirring something vicious in your tummy, and you can’t keep your mouth shut. 
You see her on top of you instead of Abby, her short hair loosening from her bun and framing her blushing face. Pretty, moss-filled eyes stare back at you, annoyance and bother replaced with something darker. Needier; She wants you to take from her. 
“Fuck, fuck, mmh— “
Your hips buck when your positions switch in your mind, a blushing, spent Ellie, reaching for you, pulling you close, begging to touch her. 
You’re so loud when your orgasm splits your brain in two, your stress melting away in an instant, nasty, unspoken visuals of your pouty and weird housemate fluttering beneath your eyelids. You ride your high until you can’t, vibrator clattering to the floor, walls flexing around nothing. 
You’re so tired that you don’t bother moving. You pull the covers over your trembling form and knock out, not even bothering to turn your shaking toy off as it rattles on the hardwood. 
It’ll be dead by the time Ellie comes home. If she does. 
Ellie lays on her side in her bed, knees pulled to her chest, her tattooed arm wrapped around her tummy and a hand covering her mouth. Her face is burning hot and her stomach is swirling. Whenever she blinks, she can see you, eyes rolled to the back of your head as you surrender to your release. 
Her heart is racing and minutes away from crawling up her throat. 
She completely forgets to put in that maintenance request for your broken heater; She’s warm enough under the covers for tonight. 
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A/N: hi again its finna pick up LEMME COOOOOK LEMME COOK
TAGGIES LOVE YALL MMMWAH : @starologist @hrtmal @ohlawdthebirds @villainousbear @timmy-27 @inf3ct3dd @aouiaa @shurisbigtoe @emothurman @lonelyfooryouonly @imelliesgf @baumbii @brackishkittie @littletinyladybugs @r1miese @horror-whoree @elsbunny222 @elliesatchel @makemescreamel @lav3nd3rhaze @elliezflower @ellieloml @ellies-princess @saverdelrey @womenofarcane @muthafuckingstargirl @mina-281 @yuckyfucky @aimformyheartt @elstoy @skylerwhitwyo @sawaagyapong @nil-eena @dewylittlestars @sakiigami @feelsoseencantdream @ellieslittlegf
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galacticgraffiti · 6 months
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⋆☾⋆ Big Love Ahead (3) ⋆☽⋆
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NSFW ⋆ 18+ ⋆ Minors DNI
Summary: Feelings have been confessed, and what follows is... an explosion of the tension. Halsin thinks himself greedy when all he does is give.
Rating: Explicit Wordcount: 4.3k Descriptors: Reader is smaller than Halsin and has female anatomy. CW: Halsin eats pussy and he does it like there is no tomorrow, praise, mutual softness, talks of marking each other up, Halsin is a poet in disguise, fingering, tons of foreplay, dirty talk; TLDR: oral (f!receiving) A/N: This fic is dedicated specifically to my beloved @pinkiemme who listens to me scream about Halsin and inspires me every day with her insane skill and talent. Special shoutout to @maybege for zooming through a quick beta-read for me- ily!
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Chapter 3: The Lover
You are in heaven.
Halsin’s head is buried between your thighs, and there is nothing else you can think about but his tongue and his lips and his fingers and his nose and… him, just him and him and him.
Cold, hard stone digs into your back, but you don’t care as your fingers grab Halsin’s hair tighter, pulling at him, guiding him. He follows your silent commands easily, moaning as he buries his tongue deeper inside you.
You whine and whimper, hitting your head almost too hard as you let it fall back, trying to keep some tension in your body so you don’t slide down the wall.
****
Halsin had undressed you slowly, so slowly, as if you were not on fire by the mere idea of his touch. His skin kept rippling with golden shimmers, his eyes glowing in the dim light as his hands peeled layer after layer of clothing from you until you were bare before him.
“You, my heart, are… exquisite.” His voice is even more gravelly than usual, and you have to fight off the urge to press your thighs together as his eyes travel all over your vulnerable form.
“So beautiful,” he whispers as he leans down to kiss you. “The flowers already sing songs of your beauty as they grow, and the trees will whisper poems of my love for you for centuries to come. The grass will remember where we laid in it, and the stone where our hands touched it.”
“You’re sappy,” you laugh, relaxing a little at the way he looks at you. Like you hung the moon in the fucking sky. “I adore you with all my heart, do you know that? My sweet bear.”
The growl that escapes him makes you quiver, his legs trembling as he fights for control.
“You-“ he interrupts himself, pressing up against you, larger than life, warmer than the sun. “Your tongue is dangerous, little flower. It’ll get you into trouble one of these days.”
You smile at him and pull him down for a kiss.
“Oh, I certainly hope so.”
Halsin groans, his tongue hot in your mouth, his hands all over you, roaming, caressing, grabbing-
And suddenly you’re hoisted up, your back pressed against ice cold stone, your legs struggling to wrap around Halsin’s middle. You gasp, overwhelmed by how sudden, how easy it seems for him to move you like this. Halsin carries you as if you weigh nothing at all. He puts you down on your bed so gently, kneeling to kiss the inside of your thigh with lips that make you shake from their touch.
His eyes are golden when he looks up at you, pulling at you until your thighs rest on his shoulders, his face pressed nearly where you need him. He hums and shivers, but he keeps control. For now.
“You smell good,” he mumbles, his soft lips moving against the sensitive skin of your thigh. “My flower, my very own. You smell heavenly- tell me you’ll let me taste you. Let me taste the honey of your thighs and I’ll never ask for anything again.”
Your cheeks burn, but you dig your heels into the muscles of his back, burying your hands in his long hair to hold onto him for dear life.
“Yes,” you whisper breathlessly, “Of course, my love, anything you want to, anything and it’s yours. You never have to ask for anything again- I’ll be here. I’ll provide whatever you want willingly, eagerly. I’ll never make you ask for anything again, I’m all yours, my love.”
Halsin smiles so softly that your heart stops beating for a moment.
“Mhhhm.” His lips leave a searing path on your skin where they touch you, travelling up and up your thighs, his hands holding you steady and pulling you closer. “I have to know if you taste as good as you smell, my heart. Let me…”
When you look down at him, you can see the face of the bear in the face of the man, his teeth nearly fangs, his fingers almost claws. It only makes you love him more.
“Taste me then,” you murmur, easing the grip of your hands in his hair, tilting your hips as best you can. “I want you, my love. I want to feel you- I want to be known by you, I want to be everything you need, just like you are to me. My bear, my beautiful strong bear...”
Halsin shudders, his entire body bathed in a golden glow. He exhales slowly, his kisses growing languid on their path to the apex of your thighs.
“Dangerous,” he mumbles. “I knew it. What would you do if the bear came out to play, hm? It’s- you have no idea how hard it is to control myself when I have you here- so willing, so eager- everything I want laid out right before me, my beautiful angel asking to be tasted-“
“If the bear wants that as well…” you hesitate for a moment trying to find the right words. “I’m yours, whichever form you may be in. My desire is for you and you alone; no more, no less. The bear can have me just as the man can.”
Halsin makes a soft noise in the back of his throat, trembling against you, his fingers digging into your thighs with sharper nails than they should have.
“Silvanus have mercy,” he growls, voice so low you can feel the walls of the cave shake around you. “To see you with those eyes- touch you with those claws- you would take it? For me?”
Gently, you unwrap your legs from him, and he gets the hint, sitting up straighter between your thighs. You pull at his shoulders until your noses touch. He’s so tall he can barely fit between your legs like this, but you don’t mind. No, you don’t mind at all.
You cup his jaw in your hand that seems too small to be real in comparison to his sheer size. Halsin nuzzles his face into the touch and kisses your palm. You smile.
“My love,I would take anything I could get as long as it’s from you,” you whisper softly. “You are… all I want. If you lose control- if it all gets too much- we can stop… or we can keep going. I’m fine with either just so long as you are.”
Halsin growls, a sound that makes your teeth vibrate now that he is so close to you. You think you can feel yourself drip as slick gathers between your thighs at the sound.
His hand comes up to hold your face, and you nuzzle into the touch just as he did with you.
“I shall try to contain myself, my heart,” he sighs. “…for now.”
“Mhhm.” You smile at him, and his eyes are so full of affection you can’t breathe. “You are wonderful, Halsin. I hope you know that- I hope you know how much I mean that when I say it. You are the best man I have ever known, the best person I could have dreamed of meeting.”
He pulls you in for a kiss, soft, but full of passion, your tongue in his mouth, his hands in your hair. A coil forms in your belly from his touch alone. When he pulls back, you tug at his shirt.
“Take this off for me? I want to see you.”
“Anything for you, my flower.” He pulls the shirt off easily, and you watch his movement with a hunger you didn't know you could feel, burning in your chest, igniting a wild fervour in your belly. An expanse of skin is revealed to you: the broadness of his shoulders, the soft hair on his chest, to roundness of his belly. You cherish every inch of him that you get to see. Halsin’s hands settle on your thighs again, covering them almost entirely, and you wonder what it would be like to carry the marks of his love on your skin.
Your cheeks heated from the thought, you can’t keep quiet anymore, you have to tell him, you have to-
“Don’t hold back,” you whisper. “Let me feel how strong you are, my beautiful bear. I would be proud to carry the evidence of your love on my skin- to feel it every time I moved.”
Halsin’s teeth are sharp like fangs when he grins at you.
“I’ll be as gentle as I can be, but… I wouldn't be opposed to seeing you covered in my fingerprints, little flower. Nor to my own back bearing the marks of your… excitement, if you were so inclined.”
You choke on air when his hands slip under your ass to pull you even closer to his face. Halsin produces a pillow from somewhere, stuffing it under your back, his eyes never leaving yours. The desire in his look burns you up, it sets you aflame. All you want to do is make him happy.
When you tell him that, his smile is blinding and his eyes glow like molten gold in the dim light.
“You make me happy all the time, my heart. I have not felt this much joy in decades, and then I found you.” Golden sparks dance in his hair when he kisses you again. “Now the only thing that could make me happier than I am in this moment would be tasting you. I have waited so long.”
You kiss his face, his jaw; the palms of his hands; anything you can possibly reach. Anything to make him feel as worshipped and loved as you feel beneath his touch.
“You have been so patient - more patient than I myself have been. If that is what you desire,” you whisper, letting yourself fall so easily in his presence, “... well, who would I be to deny you? I would give you everything I have and all that I am in a heartbeat.”
He kisses your thighs, sharp fingers digging into soft skin. His lips are soft and warm, and the contrast of his mouth that treats you so gently and the strength of the hands that hold you in place has you trembling.
He teases you just a little- taking his time, caressing you, his breath hot on your dripping cunt though he does not touch you just yet. You whine and moan and arch your hips until you feel him smile against you.
“This is what you want?” he asks again, his voice rough with desire.
“You are what I want.” You smile and cup his jaw in your hand. His eyes are aflame and his teeth sharper than they should be, but it does not scare you. It only confirms that you are what he wants, and all you feel is lust and deep affection. “Please, Halsin. I need to- I want to feel you.”
“Then you shall have me, my heart.”
Pleasure drowns out everything else when he finally puts his mouth on you. You sigh- already nearly a moan, the tension finally breaking only to build and build when you allow yourself to realise what is happening. This is Halsin; the mighty druid, on his knees for you, moaning into you as his tongue laps up the arousal that drips down your thighs.
You arch your back and press your cunt up into his face. Halsin groans, hands wrapping around your waist as he pulls at you, burying his tongue between your parted legs.
“You are the sweetest thing,” he breathes, “the sweetest thing I have tasted in all my centuries. You are- gods have mercy- I could drown in you and never come up for air. Nature must have had me in mind when it made you, sweet as honey with a voice that could make nightingales cry- and you have never sounded so sweet as you do when you moan for me.”
“Mhhm… go on.” You are practically purring like a wild cat under his touches, your body vibrating with tension and excitement. “I’m all yours, my love.”
“All mine,” he mumbles. His fingers seem to glow from the inside when he squeezes your hips. “All mine, and sweet as honey. Nature truly has outdone itself with you, my flower.”
You shiver, then moan when Halsin dives back down to press his flattened tongue against your clit. Your legs fall open even wider and you tilt your hips up to meet him. He growls in a way that reminds you of the bear inside him, and the thought only makes you wetter.
“Make me come for you, bear,” you moan. “Please, I want to come for you- I want your tongue buried inside me when I do, I want to taste myself on you when I kiss you while you fuck me. Please- Halsin, please-”
You can feel him shake with the strain of keeping his human shape, but his tongue is stroking your clit in just the right way and you can’t stop the litany of filth that falls from your lips.
“Just like that, my love- oh gods, oh- oh, fuck, fuck, do that again… again- have mercy, you’re too good at this, my love. D-don’t ever listen to me when I tell you to stop, I want you to keep doing this f- oh- forever, I never want to…”
Halsin does not hide how much he is enjoying himself. His fingers are digging into your soft flesh with bruising force, and he moans and growls unashamedly as he eats you out like a man starved. 
The moans that fall from your lips, the filthy noises it produces when he runs his tongue through the wetness of your cunt- everything echoes in the small cave and makes you feel the sensations thousandfold. Halsin’s eyes fly open when you gently tug at his hair, quietly asking for more. He obliges, his nose pressing against your clit as he fucks you with his tongue, large hands keeping you right where he wants you, squeezing and holding. He takes no breaks, like he needs not air but only you to survive, and the coil in your belly starts to tighten with each stroke of his tongue.
“Let me hear you,” he breathes, barely raising his face from between your legs. “Let me hear you, my heart, tell me what feels good.”
“You feel good,” you whimper, your head light with pleasure. “It’s like you can tell- like you know exactly what I need. Halsin- H- fuck, oh gods, right there, you- mh- you are so good to me, so good to me… I wanna come on your tongue, my love, please let me- please make me- gods, I want everything with you, I want to be filled until I can’t move, I want your bruises on my thighs and to have you inside me all day and all n-night - fuck - to be yours and only yours, my bear, my bear Halsin-”
His growl this time is distinctly animalistic, and when you open your eyes, Halsin’s whole body is coated in golden light, glowing from the inside out, his eyes illuminating your skin.
“You will be my ruin, angel,” he groans. “Your words will make me come undone before you even touch me- to taste you, to be the reason of your ecstasy is all I have wanted for so long. Come for me, my heart, be good and come for me so I can fill you the way you deserve to be filled, be yours and- make you mine, just as nature intended.”
His mouth descends onto you again, licking and sucking, his tongue pressing against you in a way that makes lightning run through your body. You cry out and buck your hips, and Halsin repeats the movement, over and over and over until you are right at the edge of pure bliss.
“For me,” he groans into you, his voice making your whole body vibrate. “For me, come for me, little flower.”
He closes his lips around your clit and sucks, and in an explosion of ecstasy, you are done for faster than you can warn him.
“Bear, I'm going to- f-fuck- don’t st- Halsin!”
The pleasure sweeps you off your feet. Nothing could have prepared you for an orgasm like this - sudden and all-encompassing, so intense it nearly borders on pain as you arch your hips and curl your fingers into Halsin’s hair. His tongue laps at you, drinking in every last drop of you until your legs shake uncontrollably and you are begging him to stop.
When you manage to open your eyes and unclasp your hands from the sheets, Halsin is grinning up at you mischievously, his face wet with you, his eyes still glowing as he licks his lips.
“The sweetest honey I have ever tasted.” He laps at your cunt again and you shudder. A new wave of arousal buries you at the feeling of his tongue inside you as he looks up at you. 
“You-” your voice is barely more than a breath. “You are incredible, my love, do you know that? Fuck- oh, don’t- please, it’s so much-”
Halsin pulls back, a smile still wrinkling the corners of his eyes.
“I thought you never wanted me to stop, my heart.”
In the time it takes you to wring an answer from your blissed out brain, a new coil has already begun to form deep in your belly at the mere thought of being touched by him once more. Your brain stumbles over the words, and while Halsin is not touching you, the promise of More hangs so heavy in the air it’s enough to make you shake with anticipation.
Halsin’s voice breaks the fog that has settled on your mind.
“Are you lost for words, little flower? Already?”
“D-don’t tease me,” you breathe shakily. “You know your skill well-”
“Hmm, I’ve had centuries to practise. Your body is… a miracle. As if nature intended you for me, all this time.”
Halsin sits up between your legs, kissing your thighs. You stretch out your arms to him.
“Come here, my love. Let me kiss you.”
“No hardship for me,” he laughs, pushing himself up on the bed and settling against you. “You did so well for me, my heart. You are the most beautiful thing I have ever seen and your voice moaning my name is the most exquisite song nature has ever devised.”
Your cheeks flush with heat, and you bite your lip. You can feel his hard length pressing against your thigh, yet here he is, singing your praises without expecting anything in return.
“You are too good to me,” you sigh. “And yet here I am, still wanting more.”
Halsin cocks his head, mischief sparkling in his eyes.
“More?”
“Mmhm.”
When he bends down to kiss you, you half expect a gentle kiss and the promise of more some other time, but you are wrong. His lips are searing, and when he pulls back, his eyes are pure fire, his fingers claws as he rips them from your body.
“Please.” You are begging - you are pleading. Nothing in the world could make you want to stop in this moment. “Go on, my love. I want to feel you- I want to have you inside me, and I want to make you feel good the way you did for me.”
Halsin growls and twitches, hands slamming down on either side of your head, his large body hovering above you.
“Once I start, I might- what if I can't stop?” He sounds nearly afraid. “It’s been so long, my heart. Have you any idea the way my blood burns at the mere thought of getting to fill you, getting to make you mine?”
You stroke his face.
“I trust you,” you whisper. You run your hand down the expanse of his back, feeling the muscles ripple under your touch as sparks of wild magic dance across Halsin’s body. “If I ask you to stop, you will. Though… I can’t imagine I would ever want you to.”
The groan that escapes from his throat sounds almost pained. Halsin buries his face in the crook of your neck, lowering himself down until you can feel his cock drag against your soaked cunt when he moves.
“Fuck,” you whisper. “Fuck- bear, please… please.”
A shiver runs through him at the urgency in your voice.
“Ask me again,” he groans, hips bucking into you, his arms shaking. You loop your hands around his neck and pull him down to you until your lips nearly touch.
“Fuck me,” you say, quiet but firmly. “...please, bear. Halsin-”
The breath is punched from your lungs when he kisses you, his lips searing, panting and moaning into the kiss as he rocks into you.
His hand slips between your bodies, two fingers dipping inside you and the glow in his eyes intensifies.
“My heart- you are one of nature’s great wonders. You feel-” he breaks off as his fingers press deeper and you arch your back to meet his movement.
He fucks you open slowly, patiently - first two fingers, thicker than three of your own, and when you whine and plead and beg for more; he gives you three. You sigh and whimper, calling out his name between sounds of pleasure. 
Halsin knows exactly what you need - what your body needs. His fingers curl just right, and the smile on his face is one of pure joy. He watches as you lose yourself in the feeling of him, as you grind down your hips to somehow take more, as your hands grip the sheets until your knuckles pale. He praises you through it, his voice soft and gentle and full of awe.
You are not a god, but you have never felt more worshipped.
It’s a lot - so much you have to hold back tears of pleasure. Halsin slows for a moment, noticing your tension, but you beg him to go on and he obliges, his motions smooth and assured.
“The stars pale in comparison to your beauty,” he whispers, kissing your shoulder, your jaw, your face, while his hands never stop moving. “Nature has made you immaculate, has made you its boldest creation, the crown jewel of its heavenly bodies. To have you here with me… to get to feel you around me and see your face shine with the pleasure I can bring you- it’s more than I deserve, more than I ever thought I would get.”
His words make your heart stumble, but your body gives you no break to respond as your legs start to shake and the heat in your belly nearly explodes. You are shaking all over, your mind just as desperate as your body. Halsin’s fingers inside you make you feel so full already, and the way he looks at you makes you tremble with affection.
The hard length of his cock presses against your thigh once more when he shifts. Nothing in Halsin’s face betrays how painfully hard he must be- how desperate he must be for release. You want to feel him- you have to feel him inside you, you want to know what it is like- you want to see his face blossom with the same bliss he brings you, and the thought of that brings you to the edge again.
“Halsin-” you breathe, gripping his biceps with an iron grip, writhing beneath him. “Halsin- my love- please, if you keep doing this, I’m going to-”
“Good.” His brow is shining with sweat, and the expression on his face is something between hunger and bliss. “Good. Because I want more.”
Your head is foggy with pleasure, but that notion parts the veil around you for a moment.
“More?” Your voice sounds brittle next to his deep baritone. “Then-”
“Mhhm.” he hums, working his fingers deeper, grinding down against the bed. “More. Give me one more and I’ll have you, my heart. Just as it was intended, just one more is all I need…”
Your head falls back as you cry out, your legs starting to shake. He curls his fingers just so, and stars flicker through your vision.
“Don’t stop,” you pant. “Don't- anything, my love, I’ll do anything- just d-don’t stop, please, please I want to feel you, I want to know- I have to know what it is like to be full with you…”
Halsin grunts, curling his fingers again and again as soft lips kiss your jaw, your neck, your breasts.
“Then come for me,” he commands gently. “You can do that, can’t you? Let me be greedy just this once…”
That nearly does you in. After all that, he still thinks himself greedy for wanting to bring you pleasure?
“Fuck!” Your blissed out brain has such a way with words. “Fuck, bear- I’m gonna-”
The palm of his hand presses against your cunt as he sinks his fingers impossibly deeper, and then, all at once, you are done for. You can feel yourself gush, wetness dripping from Halsin’s fingers as you die a thousand little deaths of ecstasy, your mind exploding into bolts of lightning.
Vaguely, you perceive Halsin’s calm voice talking, speaking to you as if through a cloud. 
After a few moments, you realise it is not only you he is speaking to. He is calming himself down, willing the bear to stay dormant. Your walls flutter weakly, and when you open your eyes, Halsin is smiling down at you.
“You did so well for me, little flower. Never have my eyes seen anything more beautiful than you, and I doubt they ever will again.”
You blink slowly, trying to ground yourself back in reality. When you move, you hear the sound his fingers make when they glide out of you, and heat rises in your cheeks. He has given you so much, and yet all you want is…
“More?”
Halsin’s smile lights up the room.
“You, my heart, are insatiable.” He kisses you, his lips soft on yours, his tongue greedy in your mouth. “I’m glad you are- so am I.”
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ferrariregina · 7 months
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champagne kisses | cs55 × reader
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pairing: carlos sainz jr x reader
warning: none just pure cuteness, oh just that oc cries. a lot.
summary: after carlos wins the singapore grand prix the first thing he does is run into your arms
the checkered flag signifying the end of the race waved frantically in the wind as carlos crossed the finish line first. your heart pounded against your chest, mind exploding with euphoria. he had won, he had actually won the singapore grand prix! the cheers were deafening, the applause thunderous, but all you could hear was a melody of his dreams finally turning into reality.
tears of joy rolled down your cheeks, subtly blending with the sweat beads that had formed due to the humid singapore weather. you wiped them quickly as if stashing away precious pearls. seeing carlos win was an emotion that words fail to fully capture. it was happiness and relief in the rawest form, a testament to relentless passion, hard work, and an unyielding belief in your dreams.
carlos gracefully descended from his car, his hands raised in victory and his face beaming with pride. his eyes scanned the frenzied crowd, eventually finding your ecstatic and teary one. he ran straight towards the barricades, manoeuvring through his team members who understood who he was looking for. with a gentle push from them, you moved towards the front, your heart pounding like a wild drum.
the world around you became a blur as he shifted his helmet. leaning forward, he removed a stray hair stuck on your lips. his eyes shone brighter than the singaporean lights as he planted a triumphant kiss on your lips making the crowd around you erupt into fresh cheers.
underneath those night lights, with the taste of victory sweet on your lips and carlos' laughter ringing in your ears, you savoured the feeling of unadulterated happiness.
hoisting the trophy above his head, his face broke into a radiant smile, one that lights up the night brighter than the floodlights around the circuit.
and then, as a bottle of champagne is handed over to him, carlos does something that steals your breath away. shaking the bottle high, he pops the cork emphatically. champagne sprays in a golden mist, anointing the triumphant podium while a cheer erupts from the crowd. a moment of deliberate pause, he turns towards you.
with a devilish grin, carlos catches your eye, pointing the champagne bottle in your direction. lifting it to his lips, he takes a pull from the celebrating bottle and then directs the streaming alcohol toward the gleaming podium. he winks, a private celebration of yours own.
a camera zooms on you as you stand amidst the crowd, your face landing a punch of joy, a warm flush creeping up your cheeks. a laugh bubbles from you, choked between tears and giggles. he has won, and he wants the world to know who he is sharing his victory with. lifting your hand to your lips you blow him a kiss. his eyes sparkle with joy and triumph as he continues his champagne shower.
that night, under the gleaming floodlights of marina bay, with the taste of tears and champagne on your lips, you share a victory. embracing each other in the raw emotion, the gloating joy seeps through you.
getting down the podium he runs towards you again, picking you up he places another kiss but this one much more passionate. a kiss that made you go to heaven and back.
p.s.this picture of carlos did something very unholy to me;)
xoxo
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frankenkyle19 · 7 months
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-The No Longer Virgin-
Kinktober Day 5: Virgin!Peter Maximoff x reader
word count: 4.3k
warnings/description: loss of virginity, handjobs, blowjobs, premature ejaculation, 69’ing, oral male and fem receiving, whiny Peter, slight sub!Peter, awkward Peter, cute consent, probably ooc Peter, sorry. 
posting two days early because I finished it and why not?
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Peter totally wasn’t insecure about anything ever. Him? Pfft, no. He was the most confident, not insecure person who ever lived. So what if he was a virgin? So what if he hadn’t actually ever gone all the way? Or gotten a blowjob.. or a handjob… or even any over the clothes touching…
That was besides the point! It didn’t matter- not like he actually cared. It wasn’t for his lack of trying. He was always down to clown it just… He hadn’t found the right person. Apparently being a mutant speedster wasn’t a turn on for most people. Who would have thought? 
Oh well. He’d lived his life this long without it, who’s going to say he couldn’t live the rest of his life being perfectly content with his hand or his stupid fleshlight? He’d live it’s not like- 
But oh when he saw you for the first time he lost his damn mind. Why were you so pretty? Why did you talk to him? Show him any sort of attention? Peter wasn’t used to it, and it immediately made his brain short circuit. He wasn’t the brightest in the bunch, but he knew you had to at least like him a little to want to hang around him.
 But why? Peter still couldn’t wrap his mind around the fact that you actually wanted to hang out with him. Was it some form of pity? Did you feel bad for him? God he hoped not…
You two became fast friends, but Peter couldn’t help but want more. Not in a creepy way, just like a hey I’m in my 20’s and still a virgin and now that a girl is showing me attention my body is reacting like a teenage boy going through puberty-
God he needed to get a grip on himself. Get it together Peter! Keep it in your pants for Christ's sake. 
And of course what he didn’t know was that you loved teasing the hell out of him. Seeing his cheeks heat up and the way he stumbled over his words. It was priceless.
The first night you kissed Peter, he was positive he’d died and went to heaven, or was in some super realistic dream. There was just no way this was real. Why would you want to kiss him? Him of all people. 
But boy did he kiss back. His lips molded against yours perfectly as you draped your arms over his neck, humming against his soft lips, eyes closed as you attempted to deepen it.
Peter was loving it. He was convinced he could stay like this forever. Well that was until you attempted to climb into his lap and he freaked out and zoomed off in a blur of silver.
He finally had someone who wanted to mess around with him and now he was too shy? What was wrong with him! 
It’s not that he didn’t want to- he was just incredibly nervous. Like heart beating out of his chest, stomach churning nervous. What if he did something wrong? As far as he knew you didn’t know he was a virgin, but if he kept up this act you’d find out in no time. How embarrassing…
But still, every time you tried to initiate anything other than kissing, Peter either made an excuse or just straight up ran off. It was embarrassing but he couldn’t bring himself to tell you why he acted the way he did. What would you say? What would you think?
Even once you two officially started dating, he was super shy and jumpy. He didn’t even really like to sleep in the same bed with you. Cuddling? He was fine with, but there was something so intimate about sleeping in a bed with your partner that he just wasn’t ready for.
He never really thought he had problems showing or giving affection, but the longer he was with you the more he realized he was terrified of all of it. 
You were so patient with him, which made him feel even worse. He saw how desperate you were to be with him but poor Peter couldn’t bring himself to actually do it.
He wanted to. He jerked off every night to the thought of you, of your pretty face and how you looked at him during your makeup sessions. It had him cumming in surely a world record speed. 
Peter researched why he felt this way. Why couldn't he just be with you the way he wanted. Like dude, the image of the two of you naked and sweaty, rocking against each other? It really got him going, but the reality of it seemed too much for his poor brain to be able to process.
He came to the conclusion that he was scared of intimacy. Or maybe he was just nervous to have his first time. Some odd combination of the both. He had to get over it, right? He couldn’t stay a virgin for the rest of his life. Especially when he had a smoking hot girlfriend right in front of him. 
He had to find a way to get over it… He was determined now.
Finally, you two had been dating steadily for three months now. Three whole months with no under the clothes touching. Or over the clothes touching either if we’re being honest.
You had kind of clued in now that Peter was nervous about being with you in such an intimate way. You never pushed him. When he was ready, if he ever was, he would let you know.
So that’s why you were a bit surprised when during one of your frequent makeout sessions, when Peter began to harden in his sweatpants, he didn’t pull away. You noticed how his breath sped up, but instead of running off, he stayed put.
Your hands fell to his thighs gently, testing the waters as Peter pulled away from your lips to catch his breath. He whined quietly, barely able to be heard as his hips subtly arched into the feeling of your warm hands.
Before you went any further though, no matter how much he seemed to want it, you decided to ask him how he was feeling in the moment. 
“Peter? Hey, if you want to I’d love to, but I don’t want you to feel like you have to. If you aren’t ready, that's okay too.” You said quietly, reaching up to cup his cheek.
His skin was warm and red under your touch as he nuzzled the side of his face into your palm, sighing softly as he closed his eyes.
“I uh- I do. I’m ready, I want to.” He said quietly, not meeting your eyes.
“I’m sure by now you’ve realized I’m a virgin.” He mumbled, blushing impossibly darker as he huffed quietly, his chest rising and falling under his t-shirt. 
“Peter, that’s nothing to be ashamed of. It’s okay.” You hummed, pulling your boy closer in an attempt to give him some sort of comfort. You could see how he was fighting himself in his mind, wrestling between the choice to do this, or to run away. Again. He was tired of running away.
“I just- I don’t want to do a bad job- I really want to make you feel good. And I’ve watched porn and shit like that but it- it’s not the same and I really don’t have any clue what to do.” He whispered, the saddest most desperate look on his poor face.
“We can go slow and I can help you. Anytime you have a question you ask, okay? I will never ever judge you. And if you want to stop, that’s okay too. It’ll be okay, I promise.”
Your words were exactly what he’d needed to hear these past few months when he was too afraid to even talk to you about any of this. He was finally ready. You’d need to walk him through it but he was ready.
“Okay, I want to. Please- need it.” He whined softly, nuzzling his face into the crook of your neck as he weakly bucked his hips forward in search of friction of any kind.
Slowly but surely you let your hand fall to his crotch, rubbing over the bulge in his pants gently, trying to coax out more of those beautiful noises from his throat.
Peter tensed for a half a second before he shuddered, leaning further into you as he whined. 
“F-fuck-“ he choked out, bucking his hips up, causing your hand to slide farther against his covered length. 
“Feels good-“ he mumbled weakly, body tingling with pleasure as he tried to keep himself composed to the best of his ability. 
“More please-“ He grunted, already so worked up and you found it so adorable. He was in for the time of his life.
You pawed at his length with a bit more pressure and you saw the way that his hands clenched at his sides. He wanted to touch you, but was nervous to make a move.
You moved your hand from his crotch and took both his hands in your own before placing them on your breasts.
Peter’s eyes widened to a near impossible size and you were worried they might actually pop out of his head at this point.
Damn. You had bomb titties. Like ooh mama they were amazing.
He swallowed hard, trying to get rid of his excess saliva before he started drooling or something-
He squeezed your breasts in each of his hands, reveling in the warm, squishiness of them. He could stay like this for the rest of his life. He was sure of it.
You let him explore your body for as long as he wanted, touching every part of you he could reach in a curious exploration of something he’d so badly wanted to do for so many years. 
This was it… He was going to lose his virginity tonight. And he couldn’t wait.
Your hand came down to gently massage his length once more before finding the elastic of his sweatpants, dipping your fingers under it so slowly.
Peter was too enamored with your breasts to realize what you were doing at first. He panicked a bit when he finally realized, worried that maybe he wasn’t big enough- did his dick look weird? When was the last time he actually inspected himself? So many worrying thoughts flooded through your mind but the second your hand crept under his pants and past the waistband of his boxers to finally touch his cock without any restrictions?… He was on cloud nine.
He’d never felt something like this. Sure he had his own hand to compare it to, but yours was so soft, so warm and so so much better than his own. 
It took everything in him not to nut the second you touched him. It really did. He was so desperate. His cock twitched in your touch as you did your best to stroke him inside his boxers, thumbing over the tip to collect the pre-cum there. You couldn’t see it, but he felt like he had a nice cock. A big, bulbous tip, a nice, decently long shaft, and thick veins that ran across it. 
Your mouth watered a bit at the thought of tasting him, and you were just about to. But much to Peter’s embarrassment, a few more strokes had him cumming hard over your hand, making a mess of his boxers.
He froze, body tensing as he bit down on your shoulder to muffle the noises that fell from his mouth. Holy shit… How embarrassing. You barely touched him and he came. 
You gasped softly in surprise, not expecting it so quickly, but his name was quicksilver after all. Maybe for more reasons than one?  Speaking of quicksilver, he was hard again almost instantly. Thank whatever gods there were that he recovered as quickly as he did. So at least he was ready for round two in the blink of an eye. His cock twitched with interest once more as you removed your hand from his pants, looking at the white creamy fluid that covered your fingers. 
“What do you want to do now?” You asked him, watching the adorable fucked out expression on his face. He sat up a bit taller and cleared his throat, recovering from his sudden orgasm. 
“I uh- I’ve always wanted to uh- sixty-nine? But I haven’t Uh- you’d have to tell me what to do to make you feel good. Like I obviously know about the clit- pshhh, duh, but like I want to make sure I’m doing it right.” He mumbled, shifting uncomfortably as the cum covered the front of his boxers.
You slowly peeled your shirt off your body, Peter gawking at you the whole time.
You gestured to his clothes and in a second, with a soft ‘fwip’ he was naked in front of you. Well damn… 
He blushed softly, looking at you for any signs of disappointment, which you certainly didn’t show. 
His cock was just as hot as you expected it to be. It curved slightly to the left, and was… Well, probably the prettiest cock you’d ever had the pleasure of viewing.
It wasn’t too thick, but was long, and god you couldn’t wait to feel it inside of you. Patience.. That would come later.
“Pretty.” You whispered, which sent shivers up Peter’s spine. Pretty? What? You- Jesus he could barely think.
You unclasped your bra and in a split second he was on you again, his large palms cupping your breasts as he kneaded them gently.
He looked at you curiously before he let his lips ghost over your hard nipples before taking one of them into his mouth, sucking gently.
His mouth felt delicious against your breasts and you arched your chest into the feeling, hands gently grabbing his silver hair.
He spent several minutes exploring your breasts before he pawed at your jeans, trying to urge you to take them off. 
You did just as he wanted, unbuttoning and sliding them down your legs, leaving you in just your little panties.
And lord, Peter almost came again. The sight of you nearly completely naked made his cock ache. He needed something. Now. 
He grabbed for you, getting you into a lying position as you kicked off your underwear, letting it fall somewhere as he manhandled you into the perfect position. You were facing his length as he faced your core, both of you in a lying position. Peter nearly drooled at the proximity to your dripping cunt, wanting nothing more than to lean forward and taste.
“Go ahead baby.” You said gently as you took his cock in hand once more, stroking it firmly as you spit onto the tip. 
Peter almost forgot all about tasting you the second your hand was in contact with his cock, but luckily he hadn’t.
He scooted forward a bit, letting his tongue press against your core, barely breaching your folds. He swallowed hard, your slick covering his tongue in an intoxicating flavor that he could find himself easily getting addicted to.
He parted your folds with his tongue, delving inside as if he’d done this hundreds of times before. His nose brushed against your clit as he licked and sucked to his heart's content, mouthing at your core with a desperation you’d never experienced. 
You pressed your lips to the tip of his throbbing cock and his breath stuttered against you, lips wobbling.
His eyes were closed and his hands rested on your thighs as he tried to get his tongue as deep inside you as humanly possible. 
He was losing his ever loving mind. The mixture of you on his tongue and the way you licked so gently against the tip of his cock had him seeing stars.
He pulled away for a moment to breathe and watch as you kitten licked his cock.
He whimpered softly, bucking his hips against your lips, causing his cockhead to slide across your cheek, smearing his pre-cum against your skin.
“S-sorry-“ he mumbled, biting down on his bottom lip as you finally took his tip into your mouth, suckling on it like it was some kind of damned popsicle. The vacuum your mouth created against him had him crying out, thighs quivering as he teared up from the pleasure.
Your tongue gently traced the slit in his head and it had Peter crying out in sensitivity, but he couldn’t bring himself to tell you to stop or even be gentle, because he’d be lying if he said he didn’t enjoy the slight pain it brought along with the overwhelming pleasure. 
“Fuck fuck fuck- ooooh god baby oh sHit-“ he decided to shut himself up by burying his face back in your pussy, eating you out like his life depended on it.
You had to say, for his first time, he wasn't bad. Not at all. In fact he was actually decent. He found your clit nearly instantly and suckled it into his mouth, being as gentle as could be while still pleasuring you.
You bobbed your head over his length, coating him in your saliva as he weakly bucked his hips forward, causing you to gag slightly.
Peter still couldn’t believe this was happening, part of him thinking this was some wet dream that his mind had dreamt up to torture him with. 
But nope. It was real. So real. Too real if you asked him. 
And soon enough he was close for the second time that night, body shaking with pleasure as you suckled on his cock. Dear lord, he couldn’t take it anymore, it was too much.
“Y-you gotta stop- I’m gonna- oooooh I’m gonna bust baby-“ he begged, hips desperately flexing as he shuddered.
You just continued your assault on his poor cock, milking him for everything he had, and he came once again, costing your mouth in his salty release.
He threw his head back and gasped, unable to catch his breath for several seconds. He thought he was going to die, but by some sort of luck, he survived. He was alive and well. So much better than well in fact.
He shivered as you popped off of his length, wiping your mouth as you swallowed his release and god damn, that was so hot to him.
He sat up shakily, breathing heavily as he blinked slowly, bliss overcoming him as he tried to calm himself down. 
Twice. You’d brought him to release twice already and he still wanted more.
There was just one last thing to do, and Peter was a little nervous, but ready.
He wanted to fuck you.
He sat up, glancing around your room curiously. The last thing he wanted was for the two of you to have to stop because you didn’t have protection. As much as Peter knew he could probably pull out before he came, he in no way wanted to risk it. Not a chance.
“You don’t got a Uh- a condom do ya?” He asked, chuckling softly as he fidgeted with his hands.
“You think I don’t? I’ve been waiting months for this Peter-“ you said, reaching over into your bedside drawer and pulling out a little foil packet, tossing it to Peter. He tore it open and carefully slid it on his length. It felt weird, tight but not bad. Just a new feeling, just like everything else that he’d experienced today.
You laid back on the bed, your breasts bouncing so perfectly as Peter stared for a bit too long, losing his train of thought as he so often did.  
You cleared your throat, snapping Peter out of his trance like state staring at your bomb as hell titties. Okay maybe he shouldn’t say it like that- your magnificent breasts. Was that better? No.. no it definitely was not.
The way you laid on your back, wiggling your hips upwards made Peter lightheaded and he found himself crawling towards you without a thought, pulling you into a kiss, his cock nudging at your entrance. His body was shaking a bit and he wasn’t sure if it was from excitement or nervousness. Maybe both? Yeah.. yeah probably both. Because holy shit, he was really about to do this? After today he’d no longer be a lame twenty something year old virgin! Yay! That had to call for a celebration of sorts.
He took his cock in hand, giving it a few firm strokes before placing it back at your entrance, giving a gentle push as you cunt sucked him in. Your wetness mixed with his saliva made the best lube as he slid right in with very little resistance.
A heavy gasp fell from your lips as with his first thrust inside, you felt as if the air had been knocked right from your lungs. He was hitting your cervix with ease, a bit of pain coming from just how far inside he was.
You gripped onto his shoulders as he began to thrust back and forth slowly, the feeling quite literally too much. You were so warm, so fucking tight and the way his cock slid in and out of you was a real sight to behold. 
He gripped the sheets by your head to steady himself. The last thing he wanted was to collapse and crush you or something embarrassing like that. That’d almost definitely ruin the mood.
Except you were sure he could do just about anything right now and it wouldn’t ruin the moment. He was so far inside you you swore you could feel him in your stomach. Your legs trembled as you wrapped them around Peters waist, pulling him closer as you cried out with each of his perfect thrusts.
Your moans were music to his ears and he swore he could record it and listen to it on repeat every second of the day. You shouldn’t even be allowed to make noises like that, considering the effect it had on poor Peter.
“Fuuuuuuck you’re so warm- my god-“ He groaned out as he thrust into you, his pace getting progressively faster and a bit rougher. You were definitely going to be sore later, but it would all be worth it.
You smiled softly and scratched at his shoulders gently with your nails, dragging a moan from his throat as his hips stuttered.
He’d find a pace and then stutter every few thrusts, humping into you with the desperation of an animal in heat.
He couldn’t believe he’d been missing out on this all these years. Sure people had told him sex felt good but this was more than just good. This was heaven.
“Mmm, so good for me Peter, r-rub. Rub my clit-“ you whined out, pressure building in your core with each thrust, his groin bumped against you, tingles of pleasure spiking through you.
Peter did exactly as you asked, one of his hands coming down to rub against your clit when suddenly he had the most devilish idea. 
He closed his eyes and gritted his teeth in concentration as he began to buzz the pads of his fingers across your clit as he grinned, knowing the effect it would have on you.
You yelped in surprise, eyes flying open as you looked down to see what he was doing. Oh. You hadn’t even thought of that as a possibility but it was so good.
“Peter- baby I-I’m close-“ you managed to choke out, arching your back to meet each of his thrusts, your poor abused pussy clenching around him in desperation.
“I’m close too- fuck cum for me baby- cum for Quickie-“ He let out a breathless laugh as his thrusts lost their rhythm even more, his thighs shaking as he felt himself just about to tip over the edge.
You weren’t sure if the two of you came at the same time, but it had to have been pretty damn close because the second you saw stars behind your eyelids, you felt warmth inside you as Peter released into the condom.
Once the two of you rode out your releases and caught your breath a bit, he pulled out of you, pulling the condom off his sensitive length and tossing it into the small trash can at the edge of the bed.
He collapsed against the bed, chest heaving hard as he turned over to look at you. He was a wreck, sweaty silver hair covering his forehead and poking him in the eye as he blinked. His whole body was hot to the touch, glistening with the smallest sheen of sweat.
“That was fucking amazing. Holy shit balls.” He panted, looking at the ceiling as he attempted to process what had just happened. He was no longer a virgin! Woohoo! Now no one could continue to make fun of him for it! 
“Shit balls?” You questioned, shaking your head as you laughed, smoothing Peter’s hair back out of his face before pressing a kiss to his nose, grinning. 
He snuggled close to you despite being sweaty and gross, closing his eyes as he breathed heavily, exhausted. It was another new feeling to him. He wasn’t usually tired and rarely ever slept, so for the first time in a while, he felt like he needed a nap. And a Twinkie, but a nap first.
“That was so good baby- thank you- I gotta sleep, feel like I’m gonna pass out.” He said groggily, pressing kisses to your skin in an almost delirious way as he fought to stay awake. 
“I’ll be here when you wake up, Peter. Sleep.” You cooed and he cuddled closer to you, wrapping you up in his arms. You felt so safe, and Peter just felt at peace. 
His new title was ‘the no longer virgin!’ And he intended to wear it proudly. 
736 notes · View notes
pathetichimbos · 7 months
Text
First Meeting - Part One
((part two here))
Thomas Hewitt/GN!Reader
---
You've run away from home, hitchhiking around Texas as you come up with your next plan, only to find that life has plans of its own when a simple ride with a group of friends lands you at a lone gas station in Travis County, drawn to a mysterious man most seem to avoid.
---
You take another step, the heat of the steaming concrete seeping in through the soles of your shoes, making you cringe. Why you would ever choose to run away in the middle of July in blistering Texas was a mystery to all, and not even you could come up with a plausible excuse.
It's been well over a month since you up and left your home, the overbearing presence of your mother's alcoholism and your step father's compliance becoming too much to handle any longer, even if it meant heading out into the excruciating heat with nothing but the clothes on your back and the bag on your shoulder to your name.
The small amount of cash you spent months saving was slowly beginning to dwindle, the concept of southern hospitality apparently lost to most, given that almost everyone has expected some sort of something in exchange for letting you hitch a ride to a place they were already headed.
You let out a sigh, licking your chapped lips as your dirt stained jeans scrap against your legs with every step, the sun beating down against your shoulders harshly, making you wonder what exactly was keeping you from laying on the grass and giving in to the vultures watching you virtually waste away.
You continue your march forward, the quiet sound of an engine beginning to make its presence known behind you, making you turn to see a truck crossing the horizon.
You slow your pace, thumb sticking out as you watch the truck begin to slow its pace, coming to a stop beside you.
The back passenger door swings open, a young man already moving over to the middle seat as he calls out to you, "Come on in!"
"Thanks." You climb into the truck, shutting the door as the driver begins to pull off.
The truck itself was rather full, two people in the front and now, thanks to you, three in the back.
“Where ya headed?” The driver asks, the truck quickly gaining its speed again.
“Wherever.” You shrug, “Next gas station's fine by me.”
You sigh, the truck's shitty AC feeling like heaven as you lean against the seat, letting your aching body rest for a few moments.
"Can do!" The driver responds in a chipper tone, a mood most of the car's passengers seemed to share.
There were three boys and one girl in total, and over the course of the next few minutes, you learned their names.
Trent was driving, a loud younger man with a kind smile and a lack of smarts. His girlfriend, Katie, seemed to share similar traits, seatbelt forgotten at her side as she turned fully in the passenger seat to look at you while you chatted.
The two boys in the back were Kyle and Jessie, twins who seemed pleasant enough.
The conversation flow stays light and airy as the five of you chat about small things, while you do your best to guide the conversation away from yourself.
“So,” Jesse finally asks, “What are you doing, hitchhiking in the middle of nowhere?”
You shrug, glancing at the empty fields as they zoom past, the overgrown weeds and grass telling you that no one has owned any of this land in quite some time, "…Fresh start. Seeing the world from a new perspective."
“That sounds exciting!” Katie giggles, leaning against her seat as she faces you, her accent giving way that they aren't locals.
“I suppose so. Y'all are from Nebraska, right? What’s got y'all down this way?” You do your best to steer the conversation back to them.
“Trent has some family down this way we’re going to visit for graduation.” Katie smiles.
“Sounds fun.” You return her smile, turning back to the window.
You close your eyes as the rest of them continue talking, enjoying the slight breeze drifting from the front of the truck.
“Oh, look! There’s a gas station that way!” Katie's voice catches your attention as she points out a large red sign that reads:
‘Great BBQ
GAS TIRES CLOTHES’.
You sigh, your stomach clenching at the thought of food. The last people who gave you a ride were kind enough to give you a sandwich, but that was three days ago and your stomach was protesting this unintentional starving.
After a few minutes the truck comes to a stop and the five of you climb out. You stretch for a moment, weighing your options before deciding to head inside the small station, trying to see how far you could make your last few dollars stretch.
It was a dingy old station, for sure. The white paint peeling harshly under the unrelenting sun, the signs worn and tattered from years of exposure, the two measly pumps rusted and seemingly unused for at least a decade.
The four people behind you split up, the twins going to find a restroom while the couple follows you inside.
The inside was just as small as the outside looked, and didn't seem to fare much better. A checkout counter on the right and a deli counter to the left, made a skinny walkway to the small dining area, a few shelves of old products scattered about, none of it looking properly edible but all if it makes your stomach growl painfully.
An older woman stands behind the counter, leaning on it as she speaks to the sheriff on the other side, an older man as well, but not quite as old as her.
“Afternoon, sheriff, ma'am.” You greet them with a polite smile, stepping deeper into the small store.
“Afternoon.” The sheriff tilts his hat, sucking on the tobacco stuck behind his bottom lip before turning back to the woman, who simply gives you a nod in return.
Your eyes wander around the old, tattered building, miscellaneous decorations scattered about the walls,
You thought it to be a miracle that this place was up and running at all, given how desolate the town it resided in seemed to be.
As you look through the old coke cooler shoved in the corner, absent-mindedly listening to the couple make small talk with the sheriff and clerk, a thud echoes on the old, creaking wood, pulling your attention to the back of the store.
You take a few steps to the corner, peaking around it as you look for the source of the noise.
A man stands next to the open back door, stretching in front of a large stack of boxes as if he had just carried them in.
He doesn't pay you any mind as you stare for a few moments longer, not yet noticing you peeking around the corner.
He was tall, taller than most people, with wide shoulders and strong arms to match.
His long black curls hang to his shoulders, seemingly held down by some sort of straps wrapped around his head.
He finally turns, brown eyes catching yours as you realize you're staring. A heat rises to your cheeks as you glance away, feeling a bit embarrassed over being caught. After all, you had been living on the streets for almost two months now, and the dirt embedded in your clothes hid that fact just about as much as the tangles in your dirty hair did.
A low, aggravated huff catches your attention again, pulling you from your embarrassment as you glance back over. With this new angle you could see his face much more clearly, including the dark, seemingly handmade leather mask covering the bottom half of his face and nose.
He glares at the boxes in front of him, intense eyes seemingly annoyed, as if his frustration alone could make them move to the front of the store.
With a newfound sense of confidence, or perhaps foolishness, you take a small step from around the corner, curious eyes watching the stranger in front of you.
Tense, cautious eyes stare back at you as the man furrows his brows, watching you take another step closer.
"Hi…" You give a small smile, leaning back on the heels of your feet, hands wringing behind your back, "…My name's Y/N…"
He looks you up and down, as if trying to decide what to think about you, not saying a word.
Unsure what to do next, you nod towards the boxes, "…Need any help?"
His stare doesn't break, only shifting to one of confusion as he contemplates your question.
…No one ever offered to help him. In fact, most people looked to him for help. So, why the hell were you offering?
A beat of silence passes and you shrug, "I mean, it just seems like a lot for one person to carry, and I've got nothing better to do…" Another beat passes and you begin to wonder if you made a mistake, bothering this poor man and distracting him from his work, "…Not that I don't think you can't handle it or anything, I just thought I'd offer in case it was--"
"Thomas!" A voice stops you in your tracks, causing both of you to look back to the sheriff who was now staring the two of you down, "Have you finished carryin' them boxes in here?"
He shakes his head.
"Then quit your yappin' and get to it!"
Thomas sighs, his shoulders slumping slightly, a weary look on his face as he turns to walk back outside to the sheriff's car parked out back.
"Here, let me…" You offer again, this time grabbing a box off the top of the pile, "It goes to the front counter, right?"
Thomas looks back to you, the confused look still lingering in his eyes as he nods.
You give another small smile over the heavy box, arms straining as you lug it up to the front of the store. The sheriff and clerk pay you no mind as they continue talking with the couple, though the conversation seemed mostly one sided at this point, with the clerk paying more attention to her newly lit cigarette than the couple.
"No, see, that roads been closed for the time bein'." You hear the sheriff explain in his heavy southern accent as you drop the box on the counter behind him, "Kept havin' folks lose bumpers and blow tires and what not on all them damn potholes."
"Is there an another way to get there then?" Trent asks, obvious disappointment in his voice from finding out their planned route was no longer available.
"Well, sure. I can show you the way." He turns back to the clerk, "Hand me that map, Mama.
The rest of the conversation falls into the background as you walk to the back again, picking up another box and seeing Thomas had brought in two more.
You huff a little, pushing the limits of your weakened arms as you try to lift two boxes.
You manage to drag them to the front of the store, this time electing to leave them beside the counter rather than on top with the first one.
"…And after you pass the old meat factory right here, you'll take the second left and hit the highway again." The sheriff's directions fade back into earshot as you huff again, your lack of food leaving your muscles especially weak against the heft of the boxes.
The tingle in your forearms slowly begins to subside as you turn to walk back for another, only to see Thomas carrying the last of the four boxes as if they were made of air.
Your eyes follow him as he sets the boxes on the counter before picking up the two you had left on the floor as well, dropping them next to the others.
You let out a small huff of laughter at his pure strength, watching the originally closed off and curt clerk soften as she thanks Thomas for carrying the boxes for her.
Meanwhile the sheriff waves off the couple, the honk of the truck horn echoing through the thin walls as the twins become impatient with their friends taking too long. The couple thanks him profusely, hurrying out of the store as they rush to join their friends and get back on the road.
The older man watches through the dusty screen door as the group sets off, letting out a low chuckle as he seemingly forgets your existence, "The Lord's lookin' out for us today, Mama. Tell Tommy to get his ass to the house!"
You blink in confusion as the sheriff rushes past the two of you, the clerk quickly yelling after him, “Damnit Hoyt, the boy's right here--”
He ignores her as well, slamming the back door shut before you could hear the loud squeal of spinning tires set off onto the highway.
She huffs from behind the counter, obviously annoyed with the sheriff's antics, “You better head on home, Thomas, Lord knows he'll make it everyone's problem if he makes it there before you do.”
Thomas sighs and nods his head, already heading to the front door.
You watch as he leaves, the creak of the old screen door screeching through the otherwise quiet store.
"You gonna buy somethin' or stand there with an empty head all day?" The clerk asks, pulling you back to reality as she raises an eyebrow through her thick glasses.
You blink for a second, "Oh, uh, yes ma'am."
You turn back to the small selection, grabbing a couple of snacks and a bottle of water from the cooler,
You set them on the counter, digging through your bag and pulling out a couple of ones.
"Ain't got no change." She takes the crumbled bills, smoothing them out as she opens her register.
"That's fine…" You sigh, deciding losing a few extra coins was worth it to get some food in your system.
She shuts the metal drawer with a bit of force as you thank her, shoving everything into your bag before flinging it over your shoulder and heading out into the Texas heat once again.
379 notes · View notes
anonymousewrites · 2 months
Text
Nature of the Human Soul (Book 1) Chapter Two
Platonic! Hazbin Hotel x Teen! Reader
Father Figure! Alastor x Teen! Reader
Chapter Two: Commercial Problems
Summary: While Charlie goes to speak to Heaven, the hotel tries to put together a proper TV advertisement (with many interruptions)
            (Y/N) had decided they didn’t like the extermination. The screams, the explosions, the angels—it was frustrating. Luckily, in the Hotel, they were removed from the killing and could just sit and wait for things to finish. However, Alastor had gathered everyone together to “show them something” (which, as everyone had learned already, meant everyone was about to be made fun of).
            Alastor switched on the old-timey TV he had permitted in the hotel, and it turned on to reveal an…ad?
            “Well, hello there you wayward sinner!” said Alastor’s voice as it displayed him pointing at two fighting demons. “Do you like bloody, violence, and depravity of a sexual nature? Of course you do, that’s why you’re in Hell!” The camera zoomed out to reveal a destroyed quarter of Hell. “But what would you say if there was a place to stay that had none of that?” The camera switched to the hotel. “Welcome to the Hazbin Hotel, a misguided path to redemption! Founded five days ago by Lucifer’s delusional daughter!”
            The camera faced Charlie, and she waved hesitantly. “Charlotte Morningstar! Come place your fate in her inexperienced hands as she tries to work through her daddy issues by fixing you! Here, we offer fun things! Such as a somewhat functional staff, and twenty-four-hour pest control! Custom rooms, and just look at this tacky parlor! Enjoy riveting conversations with our only two guests!” The camera faced Angel and (Y/N). Angel gave the middle finger, and (Y/N) narrowed their eyes, knowing something was up. “Wow! All this and more at the Hazbin Hotel! Your last desperate attempt at salvation starts here!”
            The video ended, and everyone stared while Alastor perked up, proud of himself.
            “So, what’d ya think?” he said.
            “I’m sorry, what the fuck was that?” said Vaggie angrily.
            “Uh, yeah, one note…” said Charlie awkwardly. “Alastor, I mean—First off, thank you so much for making this, it’s seriously amazing—but, um, maybe the tone is a bit off?” Alastor’s grin just darkened. “We want people to want to come here. This makes it look, um…”
            “Fucking depressing,” suggested (Y/N).
            “Funny. I was going for hilarious!” said Alastor.
            Vaggie narrowed her eyes. “It didn’t explain anything about how we’re trying to save demons from extermination, which is the whole fucking point.”
            “Vaggie is right, Alastor,” said Charlie. “The commercial was to let Sinners know we are trying to help them!”
            “Well, my dear, I haven’t been active in Hell for some time, and everyone remembers me from my radio show!” Alastor’s grin widened. “The proper medium to express oneself. But you insist on this: a noisy picture box advertisement. So I had a little fun with it.”
            “Oh, fun. You had a little fun with it?” said Vaggie. She crossed her arms. “Well, this is not what we want to represent us. When you showed up here a week ago, you told us you would help run this hotel. Instead, you’re mocking us! Nobody’s going to want to come to a place that a powerful Overlord like you thinks is a waste of time.”
            Angel raised his hand.
            “What?” said Vaggie.
            “If ya filmin’ a commercial, can I suggest you take better advantage of the talented celebrity you have right here?” said Angel, posing.
            “Ew,” said (Y/N), and Angel stuck out his tongue at them. Neither took it to heart. (Y/N) liked being able to speak their mind in Hell, and Angel would just give an equally witty retort when they did, so they both thrived in conversation.
            “Angel, you’re a porn star,” said Vaggie.
            “A famous porn star,” said Angel. “I’ll have the horniest sinners knockin’ these walls down to get in.”
            “I would really prefer not to have perverts in the hotel,” said (Y/N), making a face.
            “Yeah, no!” said Vaggie. “Not only do we have a kid here, but filming porn as the commercial is completely out of the question!”
            “Sex sells,” said Angel. “I swear, if you film me goin’ at it with Mr. Fancy-Talk-Creepy-Voice here, you’d be rollin’ in participants willin’ to stay at the tacky hotel.”
            Alastor looked unimpressed. “Haha! Never going to happen. Besides, like Vagatha said, we couldn’t create such an environment for an impressionable child. What would Charlie think?”
            “Yeah, it sounds like a bad idea…” said Charlie, looking at (Y/N).
            “Is everyone choosing to ignore the fact I killed people?” said (Y/N).
            “Angel, I appreciate you wanting to use your special skills to, um, attract folks to the hotel, but I really don’t want to exploit you in that way,” said Charlie, smiling.
            “Oh, please, baby. This body was made to be exploited,” said Angel. “I got the arms, I got the stamina, I got the legs, I got the lung capacity, I got the legs, the gag reflex, the holes, the chest fluff everyone thinks are tits—”
            “Should I just say ‘ew’ after everything you say to get you to stop?” said (Y/N).
            “Won’t stop me!” declared Angel.
            Charlie’s phone went off, and she hurriedly picked it up. “Uh, hold that thought. I’ll be right back!” She walked off to answer.
            “Hey, I have a question,” said Angel. He looked at Alastor. “If freaky face over there is so powerful, then why can’t he just make people stay here?”
            Alastor laughed. “Oh, trust me. I can.”
            “Why do you think I’m here?” said Husk. “You actually think I’d be cleaning bottles and listening to you fucks bitch and moan all the time if he wasn’t forcin’ me?”
            “What, you don’t love being here with me, Whiskers?” teased Angel.
            “Call me ‘Whiskers’ again, and I’ll jam that bottle down your throat,” threatened Husk.
            “Kinky! Come on, keep talkin’ dirty!” said Angel.
            “Until you let me have a drink, I’m not happy you’re here,” muttered (Y/N), glaring at Husk.
            “Princess over there says no, so no,” said Husk.
            “What the fuck is the point of being in Hell if I don’t get to do anything fun?” grumbled (Y/N).
            “I agree! Why not let the child have a good time? That’s what the hotel is for,” said Alastor.
            “See? He agrees,” said (Y/N), gesturing to Alastor.
            “That is a terrible argument,” said Vaggie. “He just wants you to get into trouble!”
            “I’m in Hell. What more could I do without making a deal with someone, which I’m not doing?” said (Y/N).
            “Indeed,” said Alastor, nodding. “Why not enjoy some entertainment and enjoy oneself?”
            “Stop it,” hissed Vaggie. “This is supposed to be about rehabilitation and redemption, people choosing to stay here.”
            “I’m choosing to stay here, and I think it’s all stupid,” said Angel. “We’re in Hell, toots. That’s kind of the end of the road, ain’t it?”
            “Well, maybe it doesn’t have to be,” said Vaggie. “Just because nobody has made it out before doesn’t mean it’s not possible.”
            “Hey, whatever means I can keep crashin’ here rent-free,” said Angel. “Crack is expensive.”
            “Haha! Yes!” cheered Charlie, bounding back into the room. “Vaggie! Holy shit!”
            “What?” asked Vaggie.
            Charlie gestured for her to come over, and Vaggie smiled fondly at her girlfriend before walking over. (Y/N) and Angel exchanged inquisitive looks. A moment later, Charlie slipped into song, which meant she was super excited.
(Charlie) “I can do this, Somehow, I know it, I’ll get Heaven behind my plan!”
            So she’s meeting with Heaven? thought (Y/N).
            “Charlie, hold on,” said Vaggie nervously.
(Charlie) “There’s just no way I could blow it! Not this once-in-a-lifetime chance.”
            “It’s just a meeting,” said Vaggie.
(Charlie) “To change their minds, And touch their hearts, Or whatever angels have.”
            “This could be bad,” said Vaggie.
(Charlie) “Cheer up, Vaggie! This could be swell! Something tells me that today will be a happy day, In Hell!”
            “Okay, but just…don’t sing to them,” advised Vaggie.
            “She’s gone,” said (Y/N).
            “That bitch is halfway down the street,” laughed Angel as everyone looked out the door to watch Charlie go.
            “Is she—”
            “She’s dancing, yeah,” confirmed (Y/N).
            Vaggie groaned. “Ugh, no.”
            “Is this going to go badly?” asked (Y/N).
            “It might go alright,” said Vaggie optimistically.
            “It’s going to be an absolute travesty,” said Alastor brightly.
            “In an entertaining way or in the way that we’re going to end up in trouble?” said (Y/N).
            “Both, hopefully!” said Alastor, looking forward for his own amusement.
            Vaggie groaned and put her head in her hands.
            “Well, I’m gonna go out and find something actually fun to do!” chirped Angel.
            “No, nope, nobody’s going anywhere!” said Vaggie. “We’re all sitting down and making a proper commercial that actually helps the hotel!”
            “Uh-oh, does that mean you expect me to be involved?” said (Y/N).
            “Yes,” said Vaggie.
            “I hate being told what to do,” said (Y/N).
            “Tough shit,” said Vaggie.
l
            “Okay, so Charlie is dealing with something very important,” said Vaggie once she had cornered everyone in one room. “So while she’s gone, we are making a new commercial. One that represents her vision and what we’re doing here. So, we need a camera. Alastor?”
            He snapped his finger, and an old-fashioned photographic camera appeared.
            Vaggie deadpanned. “A video camera.”
            “Hm.” Alastor was unimpressed with the idea, but he snapped his fingers nonetheless and let a video camera appear.
            “Alright, let’s do this!” said Vaggie.
            First up was a scene with Husk and Angel.
            “And…action!” said Vaggie, pointing the camera at them.
            “Welcome to the Hazbin Hotel,” said Husk, reading from the script. “Can I help you with anything?”
            “I’ve been a bad boy,” said Angel. “And I need a big strong daddy to put me in my place! On the path to redemption!”
            “Well, you’ve come—”
            “Oh, yes!” Angel cut off Husk.
            “To the right place,” finished Husk, rolling his eyes.
            “Cut,” said Vaggie, sighing. “Okay, Angel, I need you to be less horny, if possible. And Husk, can you maybe not have a script in front of your face?”
            “I ain’t no actor!” said Husk. “I can’t memorize this shit!”
            “Well, we could always improv this shit, Baby cakes,” purred Angel.
            Husk shoved him off the counter.
            Vaggie sighed and looked back at (Y/N) and Alastor.
            “This is going great,” said (Y/N) with a grin.
            “Oh, yes, splendidly!” said Alastor.
            Vaggie growled and was tempted to grab her spear as she was faced with shit-eating grins.
l
            Next was Niffty’s scene, but she was more interested in stabbing insects than she was the camera.
            “Stab, stab, stab!” said Niffty.
            “Alright, Niffty! Niffty!” said Vaggie, catching her attention. “Your line is ‘We have the cleanest rooms.’ Okay?”
            “Got it! I’m ready!” said Niffty.
            “Action.” Vaggie turned on the camera.
            Niffty’s smile fell, and she stared, wide-eyed, at the camera.
            “Uh…cut,” said Vaggie, slightly unnerved.
            “How was that?” said Niffty, smiling.
            “Well, Niffty, you actually have to say the line. Let’s roll again,” said Vaggie.
            “Okay!” said Niffty.
            “Action,” said Vaggie.
            Niffty once again just stared, empty-eyed.
            “You’re doing great, Vagina,” whispered Angel.
            “Cut!” shouted Vaggie. “Alright, um, maybe we can try to fix it in post.”
            “Do you even know what that means?” teased Angel.
            “I’ll figure it out!” snapped Vaggie. “(Y/N), Alastor, you’re up.”
            “No, I don’t get on camera,” said Alastor, dismissing the word “camera” distastefully.
            “I don’t want any attention,” said (Y/N), crossing their arms. They really weren’t a fan of having people stare at them, and a commercial would do that, especially for something as crazy as this.
            Vaggie glared. “This is for Charlie.”
            Alastor and (Y/N) remained unmoved and crossed their arms.
            Vaggie cursed under her breath.
l
            (Y/N) knocked on the door of the room Vaggie was using to rewatch the footage she’d managed to get.
            “What?” snapped Vaggie.
            “Listen, I don’t want to be on camera,” said (Y/N), holding up their hands. “I really don’t. But if I can help in some other way, I’ll do it.”
            Vaggie groaned and put her head on her hands. “I don’t know how you can help. It all sucks.”
            “Yes, seems like you’re having a bit of trouble there, hm?” said Alastor, popping out of the shadows.
            “Why are you even here?” snapped Vaggie.
            “For the entertainment!” said Alastor, shrugging. “I came here because I love seeing wasteful souls struggle to accomplish something meaningful and fail spectacularly!” He beamed at Vaggie. “Like you are doing now! Good job!”
            Vaggie narrowed her eyes and pointed the video camera at Alastor. “And here’s Alastor, the egocentric piece of shit that—” the camera buzzed with electricity, and Vaggie was forced to drop it as it sparked.
            “I wouldn’t try that, my dear,” said Alastor. “This face was made for radio.”
            (Y/N)’s eyes widened, and they were struck with Alastor’s intimidating presence once again. Holy hell, they wanted strength like that.
            “I don’t care who or what you are!” said Vaggie ferociously. “If you are staying here, you are going to make this work! Because it won’t be so ‘entertaining’ to watch over an empty hotel, will it, shitass?!”
            “Fair enough! I’ll tell you what,” said Alastor. “Let’s make a deal.”
            Vaggie scoffed. “Do you think I’m that stupid? Making a deal with a demon like you.”
            “Not for your soul,” scoffed Alastor. “Just a simple deal. I do this for you, and you never ask me to engage with this frivolous television technology ever again.”
            “You really hate tv,” said (Y/N).
            “It’s the worst medium for expressing oneself,” said Alastor distastefully. “So petty and uninspired.”
            “That’s all you want?” said Vaggie, furrowing her brow.
            “That, or Charlie can come back to absolutely nothing,” said Alastor brightly. “Your choice.”
            Vaggie sighed. “Fine.” She put the broken camera in Alastor’s hand, and it disappeared.
            Green light surrounded him, and he snapped his fingers. “Now, then!”
            Everyone appeared in the room and got 1920s themed outfits, and a camera crew of shadows appeared ready to serve.
            Vaggie smiled. “Alright, everyone! Let’s make a fucking commercial!”
            (Y/N) took a careful step back while Vaggie grabbed the others to film.
            “Still not interested?” said Alastor, amused.
            “I don’t want to be on camera,” said (Y/N), making a face and shaking their head.
            “What do you think of radio?” said Alastor.
            (Y/N) shrugged. “Better than podcasts.”
            Alastor’s grin widened, and he nodded in satisfaction. That was the correct answer.
l
            “Charlie!” Vaggie hugged her girlfriend as she finally returned to the hotel. “How’d it go? Did they listen?”
            “Oh, uh, they sure did hear it! But, uh…” Charlie trailed off nervously.
            “Oh, come here! We have something exciting to show you!” said Vaggie. “Alastor pulled some strings, and it’s about to air!”
            “I pulled a few limbs, too!” laughed Alastor. (Y/N) snickered.
            “Wait? The commercial?” said Charlie, eyes widening. “You all made a new one?”
            “Yeah, one of my better performances, if I do say so myself,” said Angel proudly.
            “That’s…that’s amazing!” Charlie’s eyes shone with emotion.
            “Shush, it’s starting!” said Angel.
            The TV showed them in their outfits. ((Y/N) had contributed by filming). “Welcome to the Hazbin Ho—”
            Vaggie’s lines were cut off as the TV switched to a “Breaking News” sign, and the residents and staff of Hazbin Hotel grumbled.
            “Breaking news in Hell today!” said Katie Killjoy as she came onscreen. “We have just received word from the Heaven Embassy that the next extermination is happening sooner than ever before. Do you know what that means, Tom?”
            “No, what does it mean, Katie?” asked Tom Trench.
            “It means we are all royally fucked,” cursed Katie.
            The camera switched to the countdown clock as it cut in half to 176 days.
            “Wait…what?! Why?!” cried Angel.
            “Holy shit,” said (Y/N), eyes widening. Their situation had just gotten worse. They were in more danger.
            And they still had no way to defend themself.
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somehow-a-human · 28 days
Text
Whose POV is it Anyway?
A Companion to Owls.
DO NOT ASK NEIL ABOUT FAN THEORY
Job 30:29-31 I am a brother to dragons, and a companion to owls. My skin is black upon me and my bones are burned with heat. My harp also is turned to mourning, and my organ into the voice of them that weep.
Continuing my analysis of the narrator/POV perspective of Good Omens season two with a look at the episode 2 minisode set in 2500 BC, Uz. God, I love this minisode.
For reference & context, I recommend reading these posts:
Whose POV is it Anyway? - Introduction
Lens Filters
POV "Your 'Something's Wrong' Voice"
POV a Trip to Hell and a 25 Lazarii Miracle
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We open our journey into the land of Uz with Crowley giving Job's goats a speech that sounds awfully similar to his own troubled relationship with The Almighty. Crowley is alone here. The episode cold-opens and we've had no lead up to suggest otherwise, so this is Crowley's POV. His hair is short and more vibrant, I'd say this is likely the Black Diffusion FX filter.
Yes for the sake of this post I am doubling down on the fact that there are TWO SEPARATE WIGS. See more here.
Aziraphale arrives, he looks cute and silly, the permit is long, the goats are "destroyed" and they part ways.
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The next scene we get is Aziraphale in heaven checking with Muriel and the Archangels that the permit Crowley has is in fact legitimate. This time, we are seeing Aziraphale's POV. Heaven is a stark white office building but the golden hue is almost overwhelming in this flashback. The Bronze Glimmer Glass filter is clearly being used here.
Aziraphale decides he's going to confront Crowley about saving the children, little does he know Crowley wouldn't harm them to begin with but regardless...
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When we re-enter the minisode, we do so via a subtle zoom in on Crowley's face in modern day. We then enter the scene through Aziraphale's illustrated Bible and see Crowley asking Job where his kids are. We've again lost the golden glow of the BGG filter, moved back to the BDFX filter and into Crowley's POV. Crowley's hair is still short, Aziraphale isn't present here, he's alone, so these are his memories.
When we see Crowley walking up to the house to find the kids we have switched back to Aziraphale's POV. The scene is extremely warmly lit, it's soft and yellow, and Crowley is now in a different wig. His hair is much longer, softer and more attractive looking. In one of the X-Ray behind the Scenes videos I even caught a screenshot of the film slate from this scene and you can clearly that they've written in BGG as the filter used, so we have confirmation.
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We continue through the Job minisode in Aziraphale's POV. The reveal of the goats, saving the kids, the ox rib temptation, the first conversation about loneliness, it's all from Aziraphale's POV. until after he "comes to" in the bookshop in present day.
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When we revisit the minisode, and for the remainder of it we are seeing it from Crowley's POV which was an interesting thing to realize. We see Crowley and Aziraphale witness Job speaking with God, saving Jobs children, deceiving the Archangels, and having their emotionally revealing conversation overlooking the beautiful sea all from Crowley's POV. His hair remains short and more vibrant red throughout all of it, we don't see the return of his long long gingery waves. The lighting when the angels are present for the children's "resurrection" is very warm but I'm going to chalk that up to the Heavenly Hosts presence.
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It makes sense that this reaction is Crowley's POV. Silly silly angel, did a good deed and thinks he's a demon?! But then he realizes how upset Aziraphale is, how scared and he comforts him. He tells him he isn't going to do anything that would hurt him, that would get him in trouble. Then, something about the fact that what follows is also from Crowley's memories, his perspective...
"That sounds..."
"Lonely? Yeah."
"But you said it wasn't."
"I'm a demon. I lied."
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NEXT POV The Dirty Donkey & I think I Found a *Clue*!
184 notes · View notes
updownlately · 9 months
Text
‘cause all that you are (is all that i’ll ever need)
| alessia russo x reader | some angst and some fluff | 3.3k | inspo: kiss me by ed sheeran & tenerife sea by ed sheeran | a/n: so this req was a long time coming, thanks for your patience amigo! hope you like it! idk how to feel about this one but ima get this out for now and if i need to re-do it later then ill be more than happy to!
~~~
Late training sessions were definitely not on Alessia’s list of favourite things in the world, especially not when all she wanted to do was escape the rainy Manchester weather and cold. It was safe to say really, that if she could change any one thing about her football career, past, present, and future, she’d limit the number of evening practices, especially those on rainy days to near zero. 
Being soaking wet after a practice, the number of times she had fallen no doubt a contributing factor, the chill in the air seemed to send a continuous shiver in her bones, one that not even a shower post-practice could abolish. 
So albeit showered and freshened up, all the blonde really wanted to do at seven in the evening on a Tuesday was take a hot shower at home and curl up beside you; dinner, a movie, and unlimited cuddles the only things things on the cards for the night. 
But that plan required many things, one of which included you being free, something you likely weren’t. 
Caught up in all your coursework for your degree, you had recently been swamped with a never-ending to-do list, something which pained Alessia almost, if not more, as much as it pained you.
Entering your shared apartment, Alessia gently dropped her kit bag and paused for a brief second to try and decipher where you might be. Hearing nothing that would give any indication of your location, she kicked off her shoes before haphazardly placing them on the rack and heading in to find you.
With finals season upon you, you had been hiding away from Alessia to finish your work a lot more, conscious of how her mere presence distracted you, had you contemplating why you wanted to finish your degree this year when you could instead cuddle up with her on the couch and put on a show to watch. 
However, the tiredness of the day was finally catching up to her and the Gunner wanted nothing more than to find you and drape herself over you, cuddles galore, her heaven on earth. 
Quickly peering into the kitchen and then the dining area before checking the living room, Alessia wandered through the living space, not wanting to shout for you lest you be on a call of some sort. 
Walking towards your office/makeshift study space, she started to take her wet hair out of its bun, hoping that she could get you to agree to plait it for her as you normally would. 
Between rainy English weather and the nearly two years of you two dating, it had become a sort of ritual between the pair of you- countless nights of a dimly lit living room, a brush in your hands as you sat on the couch with the footballer on the floor between your legs, you working ever so carefully and gently to untangle and braid her wet hair into a somewhat manageable braid.
It had started when you had realized that Alessia would leave her soaked, post-shower hair in a messy bun until it would eventually dry eons later, making everything her head came in contact with during the meantime a damp mess.
After the fourth time you had to change out of a wet t-shirt post cuddling session, you had finally given up on trusting the striker to do her own hair, instead taking matters into your own hands. 
Since then, it had become normal for the Englishwoman to find you after most practices or games, silently taking seat between your legs or in front of you with a towel, brush, and blow-dryer in hand. 
So Alessia made a quick stop to your shared ensuite, grabbing the aforementioned items in a breeze before continuing on the remainder of her short walk to you office next door. 
Well aware that you may be on one of your numerous zoom calls with a course mate or advisor of some sort, the blonde knocked gently before slowly turning the handle and peeking her head inside. 
Eyes just barely adjusting to the dimly lit room, Alessia sighed, already being able to tell you had barely left your study space for a while, the countless dishes piled up on the table beside you a worrying sign.
Stepping in and choosing to make her presence known, the blonde walked over to where you were sat at your desk in the back corner of the room, eyes focused intently on the screen in front of you. 
“Hi…”
Coming to stop right beside you, your girlfriend teetered from one foot to the other nervously, waiting for a reaction.
You barely looked up from your monitor as you hummed in response, a disastrous number of tabs open on the screen and the laptop beside you, mind nearly as scattered. 
Wringing her hands, her voice came out soft, nearly a whisper, heart already tired from the long day she had. 
“Could you please plait my hair when you get the chance?”
Had you been paying attention to the blonde one your left, you would’ve taken in the tiredness in her eyes, the defeated weight on her shoulders, and the nervousness thrumming in her body as she fiddled with the hairbrush in her hand. 
But you weren’t.
Eyes not leaving the screen for a second as you took notes on your iPad without looking down, you inhaled sharply. 
If you had known better, you wouldn’t have reacted as you did. Would’ve separated your frustration with your paper from your love for the striker. 
You didn’t however. 
Instead, you let your frustration seep through, a gruff exhale escaping you. 
“Less I’m busy. Just do it yourself yeah?”
Not waiting for an answer, you continued with the task at hand, flipping between another website and copying and pasting text into your notes document. 
Beside you, Alessia quickly shut her eyes, straightening her back in an effort not to become upset at your sharp answer. 
She knew you were stressed, this degree something you had been working on tirelessly to achieve. She knew this frustration wasn’t aimed at you, more so at the tight deadline coming up, the need for perfection that you craved. So why did she feel like shit now?
Taking a deep breath, she figured it would be worth a shot to ask you about dinner, aware that you likely hadn’t eaten- your habit of hyper focusing a common obstacle when it came to taking care of yourself. 
“Before I go, do you want anything in particular for supper? I was thinki-”
“Anything’s fine. I’ll eat later. I really need to finish this up.” Your voice cut in, not bothering to wait for her to finish. 
Eyebrows furrowing at your interjection, Alessia’s shoulders deflated, well aware that any time spend together was likely off the table for the night. As if this night couldn’t possibly get worse. 
Sighing near silently, the Arsenal forward turned on her heels, making her way out of the room quickly as to not disturb you any further. 
It was only when she had fully made it out of the room, door shut firmly behind her, that Alessia let the weight of the day crash on her.
As a handful of silent tears of frustration came barrelling down her face, the striker made her way back into your shared bedroom, haphazardly throwing the items from her hands onto the bathroom counter before wiping away the tears and throwing her hair into a bun once more. 
Deciding that tonight was not a night where the blonde wanted to be cooking, at least not anymore, not since you very likely wouldn’t be joining her, she reached for her phone, eyes scanning the numerous apps through her blurred vision before finding the desired delivery app. 
Quickly ordering comfort food for herself and your usual order from the restaurant she had chosen (she wasn’t heartless, could never be towards you), the striker threw herself onto the bed, arms coming to wrap around her own midsection in a vain attempt to provide herself with some comfort. 
And when the ordered food finally arrived, bag somehow soaked from the pouring weather, the Englishwoman knew that the universe was playing a cruel joke on her, maybe even getting her back for jumping on Leah when she had been soaked after practice earlier. 
Clenching her jaw, Alessia quietly plated her food before taking a seat at the island, dim lights and the soft murmur of the world outside the only company for her on the lonesome night, the empty stool beside her mocking her as she ate, a pounding headache growing due to the bun she wore, food lukewarm, and heart alone.
What a lovely night…
~~~
You were proud of yourself. 
It had taken nearly a week but here you were, essay nearly done, on the brink of submission a handful of days early, qualification for graduation just a few clicks away. 
All that was left was to proofread it for the fourth time, you well aware that you were being nit-picky, the perfectionist in you making itself known. 
But that could wait. That could most definitely wait. Because all you wanted to do right now, aching neck, tired eyes, and growling stomach in tow, was to relax with your girl for a bit, a well deserved reward should you say yourself.
Pushing yourself away from your desk, your eyes flickered over to top corner of your monitor, a place you tended not to look often in an attempt to not intimidate yourself with the passing minutes. 
Now though? Now you wish you had looked at the clock earlier.
Cursing yourself for being so caught up in your own mind that you had tuned out the world most important to you, you hastily got up from your seat. 
The bright digits glared at you as quickly started cleaning up your desk- 9:47 pm- much much later than you had anticipated. 
Exiting out of now useless tabs and turning off what needed to be shut down, your quickly grabbed your mountain of dishes, precariously balancing them as you tucked your nearly dead phone into your pocket and scrambled towards the door.
Less couldn’t be asleep right? Not yet at least…surely?
You silently prayed that the blonde was still awake, the pattering of the rain outside and darkness filling the empty corners of the apartment as you made your way to the kitchen. 
The silence in the apartment was eerily haunting, a reminder- no- an indication of just how selfish you had been. 
Entering the threshold, your eyes fell on the sticky note left on the counter, space barely illuminated by the streetlights.
Gently placing your dishes in the sink, letting warm water run over them, you backtracked, picking up the yellow post-it and reading the message- once and then again, heart sinking at the unsaid words. 
‘Supper’s in the fridge. Went to bed early.’
The lack of words told you everything you needed to know. You had fucked up.
No 'I love you', no 'I'll be waiting for you', none of that. Just eight direct words, saying everything that Alessia didn't voice.
Swallowing hard, you contemplated your options, wondering whether it would be worth the risk to potentially upset Alessia more than you already had.
It wasn’t a secret to you that the blonde hated late practices, especially on days like today, where there were double practices, afternoon and evening. Add the pouring rain that had brought you comfort the past few hours, hours that Less had likely passed around waiting for you, hair no doubt a mess, a headache likely from the cold, stuff you usually helped her prevent post-practices, you knew you had messed up. 
In your blindside to free yourself up early, you had ignored the one you loved. Just fucking great.
Deciding then and there to make amends, you made your way to your shared bedroom, taking the gamble to see whether Alessia had fallen asleep or not, hoping you could rectify your earlier actions. 
This time, it was your turn to nervously enter the room, turning the knob nervously and slowly stepping in. 
In front of you lay the taller girl, frame looking small on the bed, her back facing you, the dark room doing nothing to help your uneasiness.
Stepping forward, you reached out, pulling up the covers on your side of the bed, you sliding in after.
Holding your breath, you strained to listen to Alessia’s breathing, trained in being able to identify whether the blonde was on the brink of sleep or not, years of being together aiding you immensely.
Finally exhaling when you realized the blonde was still awake, you took your chances.
Keeping your voice soft, you let it carry, the weight of your words hanging in the air. 
“I know you’re still awake…”
You could feel the mattress move before she did, the blonde shuffling further to her own side of the bed, nearly falling off the edge with how much space she left in the middle. 
“Less…”
Silence being your only response, you tried again. 
“I’m sorry for being an ass.” 
This time you heard a slight huff. Not the best response but a response in the least- a positive in your eye. You chose to continue, hoping you could dig yourself out of this hole.
“I’m sorry for being huge dickwad. You didn’t deserve me snapping at you like that.”
And as Alessia’s hoarse voice responded, your gut sank with guilt, jaw tensing.
“Just the snapping? I asked you about supper and whether you could take just a few- a few- minutes to plait my hair like always, and you got upset with me.”
“I know. I’m sorry, I really am. You were only trying to help and you were tired yourself and I was dumb.” Surging forward, you reached out tentatively, slowly placing your hand on Alessia’s shoulder, pulling her into you.
“You really were.”
Placing a kiss on the back of her head once she was close enough, you murmured against her scalp. “Can I make it up to you? Let me braid your hair?”
“That doesn’t excuse your behaviour…”
Nodding in agreeance, you let your arms wrap around the taller girl’s waist. “It doesn’t, but I’ll get there, I promise.”
Alessia sinking backwards into your grasp at your words gave you the answer you needed, you holding her for a few more minutes before quickly rising up and getting the items you needed.
Turning on a lamp as you returned, you settled behind the footballer, plugging in the hair drier and undoing the bird’s nest on your lover’s head. 
Silently working, you meticulously dried the blonde’s hair enough that her pillow wouldn’t get any more soaked, teasing out the kinks and knots gently before braiding her hair loosely.
Finally pleased with your work, you set the comb and hair drier aside, pulling Alessia back against your front and wrapping her up in your hold, placing a gentle kiss on her shoulder and lingering for a second.
“I can’t promise I won’t be stupid again, but I can promise you that I’ll try my best to never do that again.”
“No more ignoring me no matter how busy you are alright? Just let me in your head…tell me your plans so that I’m not left here waiting for god knows how long, as you snap at me when I try to care…please?”
“I promise. Solemnly swear in fact.”
Feeling the blonde smile at your words, you let a grin take over your own face. 
“Now, I know you already ate, but would you fancy joining me for dinner? It could be our own little date? You, me, a little Love Island, and ton of cuddles?”
And as Alessia turned in your hold, burying her face into the crook of your neck, you kissed the her crown, holding her just a tad bit tighter. 
Only making a move to get up when your stomach grumbled loudly, you shot a sheepish smile to the angel in your arms before loosening your hold.
And as the pair of you exited the room, hand in hand, you made sure to grab the softest blanket you could, her comfort blanket, settling the striker on the couch before rushing into the kitchen to make yourself a plate of food, getting an extra helping, well aware that your girlfriend would munch with you.
Nearly sprinting back to the living room, food in hand, the pair of you got comfortable, the blonde resting her head on your shoulder, blanket wrapped around you both as the tv illuminated the living room, the rain now setting a comforting tone to the night.
Feeding the Gunner small bites as you ate your food, the two of you managed to finish off the plate quite quickly, setting it on the table before sinking together, a few more episodes, a handful of minute more spend cuddling.
Mindlessly tracing your fingers up her arm, you pulled the tired woman into you, body shuffling to lay across the couch, Alessia's head resting on your chest as the other girl whispered out little comments at every turn in the show.
It was only when you could finally feel the taller girl’s body growing heavier a bit more with each passing minute that you decided that it was a good time to head to bed.
Skimming your fingers up and down her spine, tracing the ridges of her back, you slowly, just barely, pulled Alessia out of her lethargic state, silently pulling her into a sitting position.
Moving to get up, you wrapped the blanket around her, ignoring her groans of protest at her own personal space heater walking away.
Convincing her you would only be a minute, you ran and put ur dishes away before coming back to usher a somewhat sleepy Less to your bedroom, the blonde slightly waking up a bit more at the movement.
Walking both yourself and your sleepy counterpart through brushing your teeth, you pulling silly faces randomly before splashing the taller girl with some water to tease her, you eventually managed to get the two of you back into bed, you on your back and the taller girl resting her head on your chest, sleepy yawns escaping her as she got comfortable once more.
Taking her now dry hair out of its braid, you loosely combed your fingers through it, nails scratching her scalp in a successful effort to soothe.
“Tell me about your day?” Your voice was quiet, just barely audible, not wanting to rouse the girl in your arms any further.
“Well my girlfriend was kind of an arse to me…”
Shaking your head as your chest rumbled with silent laughter, you gently hit Alessia’s shoulder. 
“I mean it...I wanna listen dork.”
And as the blonde recited her day to you, you could feel her breathing get heavier, the tiredness finally catching up to her.
Placing a gentle kiss on top of her head, you murmured another quiet apology as Alessia’s voice died down, you tightening your hold, mentally vowing never to let yourself get consumed by school or work so immensely ever again.
Unbeknown to you, the striker was just barely awake, her whispers of ’never again’ making her conscious state known. 
Agreeing, you repeated the words, whispering an I love you, the sentiment returned before Alessia’s breathing finally evened out, body completely relaxed in your hold. Finally letting yourself unwind, the tension from studying earlier totally seeping out of your body, you let a smile spread across your face.
Well aware this was all you really needed, you let the warmth spread through your body.
Here, your lover in your hold, silent breaths puffed against your neck, the weight of your love hanging comfortably in the air, you followed Alessia’s lead, letting sleep overcome you, everything that really mattered to you in this world, here, in your arms. 
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Napoleonville [Chapter 10: The House Of Saint Honoratus of Amiens] [Series Finale]
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Series Summary: The year is 1988. The town is Napoleonville, Louisiana. You are a small business owner in need of some stress relief. Aemond is a stranger with a taste for domination. But as his secrets are revealed, this casual arrangement becomes something more volatile than either of you could have ever imagined.
Chapter Warnings: Language, sexual content (18+ readers only), dom/sub dynamics, smoking, drinking, drugs, weddings, Willis Warning, infidelity, kids, parenthood, Rice-A-Roni.
Word Count: 6k.
Link to chapter list (and all my writing): HERE.
Taglist: @marvelescvpe @toodlesxcuddles @era127 @at-a-rax-ia @0eessirk8 @arcielee @dd122004dd @humanpurposes @taredhunter @tinykryptonitewerewolf @partnerincrime0 @dr-aegon @persephonerinyes @namelesslosers @burningcoffeetimetravel-fics @daenysx @gemini-mama @chattylurker @moonlightfoxx @huramuna @britt-mf @myspotofcraziness @padfooteyes @targaryenbarbie @trifoliumviridi @joliettes @darkenchantress @florent1s @babyblue711 @minttea07 @bungalowbear @bluerskiees @herfantasyworldd @elizarbell @urmomsgirlfriend1 @fudge13 @strangersunghoon @wickedfrsgrl
Thank you so much for loving this strange, sexy, sweet story. I hope you enjoy the finale. 🥰🧁
Your bare feet in warm grass, your hands around the ropes of the tree swing, no sounds except the ancient psalms of the earth: cicadas, mourning doves, goldfinches, bumble bees, bullfrogs, wind in the leaves of the dogwoods and southern live oaks. The adolescent alligator is at one end of the front yard, sunbathing up by the mouth of the gravel driveway; in the opposite corner are several nutria nibbling on cattails. The sky is a calm, cloudless blue. It’s hot, mid-80s, even when 5:00 p.m. comes and goes; but the breeze is cool as it evaporates the sweat from your temples, your palms, the nape of your neck. It’s as close as Louisiana ever gets to Heaven. It’s a good day for a wedding.
You remember thinking that it was the end of the world when you found out you were pregnant almost exactly eleven years ago, and then again when you realized you would have to divorce Willis, and so you have lived through enough moments like this—these quiet, infinitesimal apocalypses—to know that there will be a future beyond Aemond marrying Christabel. The sun will rise tomorrow, and then it will set, the lightning bugs will appear and the stars will tell myths in the night sky, and the phone will ring as orders come in for the bakery, and Cadi will be back in her bedroom playing her Nintendo, and life will roll on like currents through the bayou: slow, opaque, inevitable. The world isn’t ending, you know that. It’s just full of beautiful things that aren’t for you.
Out on Route 401, a Plymouth Gran Fury zooms by the house, squeals to a halt, and then reverses until Willis can take another look, squinting through his tinted windows. He turns down the driveway and steps out into golden July daylight. He doesn’t pay any attention to the gator as he strides past her. He belongs here, in a place that is old and strange and savage and full of beasts. You have carved out a home for yourself in the swamplands; Willis was born with veins like the roots of a mangrove tree and ancient silt instead of marrow in his bones.
“Hey, sugar,” he says, pushing his sunglasses up into his hair. The wind ruffles the dark curls of his mullet, the bumble bees flee as he tramples clovers. “Ain’t ya supposed to be at the weddin’?”
“I’m sick.” A lie. “But Cadi’s fine, she’s with Amir. She was so excited she actually wore one of the sundresses my mom bought her and had Amir braid a dogwood flower into her hair to match his. You should have seen it. You would’ve been so proud.”
“I’m always proud of her,” Willis says, smiling. And then: “Ya don’t look sick.”
“I am.”
“Ya got one of your headaches?”
You pause. You don’t, but this is a convenient excuse. “Yeah.”
Willis stalls, his hands on his belt. His pistol is there; you remember how he used it in the bayou, how he helped save your life. But he wasn’t the one who jumped into the water. Aemond was willing to risk his body for me, but not his soul. What kind of sense does that make? “Ya had me scared for a minute there,” Willis says.
“What? When?”
“When I thought ya were goin’ to end up with that Rockefeller boy.”
“Aemond?” you say, like it’s so shocking. “No. Absolutely not. It’s impossible.”
“And why’s that?”
You stare into the trees so Willis can’t see the tears welling up in your eyes, the tension in your throat as embers kindle there, pulsing with heat that could char flesh to the bone. “He can’t marry someone like me.”
“I could,” Willis replies, grinning. You glare at him until he recants. “Alright, alright, oublie ça. Pardonne-moi.”
“Why would you be afraid of me and Aemond being together?”
“An oil tycoon? A millionaire? He would never stay here for long. In a town like Napoleonville? Soon as he was done getting’ those rigs up and runnin’, he’d go jettin’ off to some other corner of the world, and he’d take you with him. And Cadi too. I wouldn’t be able to fight that. What’s a parish sheriff to a Targaryen? Who would listen to me? Cadi would be gone and I’d never get her back. It would kill me. It would rip the heart right outta my chest.”
You look up at Willis from where you sit on the tree swing, the soles of your feet colored with soil and grass. “I wouldn’t do that.”
“No?” he asks, perhaps suspicious, perhaps hopeful.
“No,” you promise. “Cadi loves you. Cadi needs you to be in her life. I would never try to take her away from you, Willis.”
He nods; he seems to believe you. And something relaxes in him, like there’s been a tension in the lines of his spine and shoulders that you didn’t notice for years. “I’m sorry about your petit ami.”
“Yeah. Me too.” It comes out like a whisper, brittle and frail. “I’m sorry about Lake Verret.”
“They might be able to fix it. Talk around town is they got some kind of desalination”—he says this with each syllable enunciated distinctly, like he’s put great effort into memorizing it—“process that can take the salt back outta the water. And if that don’t work…” He shrugs with a sly smile. “I’ll survive somehow. The world’s a big place. There’s always another lake.”
You consider him, and you remember—like a dream from the night before that just returned to you—how Willis can be unexpectedly deep, randomly tender. “They should put that on bumper stickers.”
He chuckles and waves as he heads back to his car. “I’ll pick Cadi up on Tuesday. Back to the usual schedule.”
“Sure.” Back to real life. Back to before I met Aemond. And you find yourself wishing that you could forget what it had felt like to be with him; the absence he left feels so much heavier than the nonspecific longing that existed before. Willis’ Plymouth Gran Fury rolls out of the driveway, and you stay precisely where you are on the tree swing, absentmindedly pushing yourself back and forth with your tiptoes and trying to believe that tomorrow this will feel easier, and then even easier the day after that, and eventually it will cease to be anything but a vague recollection, a relic in a rarely-opened drawer, a whisper, an echo. One day, you will stop missing Aemond. One day, you will stop wondering whether a sliver of his life would have been better than none at all.
Inside what Cadi calls the Fall-Down House, the phone rings. You ignore it; if it’s an order for the bakery, they can leave a message. But then it rings again, and again, and you have to answer it. What if your mother had a heart attack? What if Cadi and Amir were in a car accident? You hurry to the kitchen and grab the phone, pink to match the little Panasonic boombox that is presently silent.
“Hello?”
“Hiiiiiii,” Amir says, slow and something else too. Disoriented? Evasive?
Your forehead wrinkles with confusion. “Where are you calling from?” There are definitely no phonelines running to the Chapel of Saint Honoratus of Amiens, a tiny brick-and-stucco edifice built in the 1830s.
“I’m at a McDonald’s up the road. I’ve paid them $5 to let me use the phone.” And then, because he knows it’s the first place your mind will go: “Cadi’s fine. She’s eating Chicken McNuggets. Everyone’s fine.”
“Okay…?”
“I think you should come over here.”
“What, to the chapel?!”
“Yeah.” He’s talking to someone; you can hear an indistinct tangle of voices through the hand he undoubtedly has clasped over the transmitter.
I can’t see Aemond. I can’t see Christabel. There is a lurching in your guts; you are a fish that swallowed a hook. “I thought we agreed that I wasn’t going to go to the wedding.” I can’t handle it. It might kill me.
“Yes, we did, but now…um…I think you will want to make an appearance.”
“Amir, what happened?”
There is more muffled conversation on the other end of the line. “Look,” he tells you. “Things, uh…things are…occurring. And I think it would be better to explain in person.”
“Did you drop the cake?”
“No,” he says, defensive. “The cake is perfect, thank you for your concern. Not a single frosting wildflower was mutilated in the delivery.”
“Then why—?”
“Do you trust me?” Amir asks.
The answer is obvious. Of course. More than anyone. “You know I do.”
“Then go get in your car.”
You glance at the clock on the wall. “Okay, but you know it’s going to take me like 40 minutes to drive to Belle River.”
“That’s fine.” He confers with someone else. “Yeah, that’s good actually, that will work.”
“Great,” you say uncertainly.
“See you soon!” Then Amir hangs up, leaving you alone in the creaks and groans of your ailing house.
You take Route 70 around Lake Verret, gliding past fields of soybeans and sugarcane, paddocks of cattle and horses, marshes of cordgrass occupied by blue herons and white egrets and prowling alligators, stirring awake as the sun begins its descent into the west. More than once, you notice that your Chevy Celebrity’s odometer reports you are travelling well below the speed limit. You aren’t in any hurry to reach the chapel; you don’t want to carry the weight of what you will see there, Christabel in her wedding dress, Aemond in his suit, Alicent anxiously fidgeting and gnawing at her fingernails, Viserys parading around triumphantly. You can’t imagine that there is anything less than torturous for you there. You don’t remember what you’re wearing until you reach Belle River, a small, old town full of double-wide trailers and jetties that run far out into the lake: a simple cotton sundress you threw on this morning without much thought, modest but white and therefore forbidden for a wedding guest. The sky is turning from a sun-drenched cerulean blue to something more soft, more muted, as dusk lurks just a few hours away. The radio is playing Tracy Chapman’s Fast Car.
The Chapel of Saint Honoratus of Amiens was built by a man in extremis. An acclaimed mason by trade, he had been born in France and settled in the New World in Louisiana when it was still in the possession of Napoleon. The mason had a wife and children—some people say 5, others say 8 or 10, though details always seem to grow more elaborate in the retelling, don’t they?—and he loved them dearly. But tragedy struck when every single member of the family, except for the mason himself, fell ill with tuberculosis. When healers of the earth failed to offer sufficient remedies, the mason appealed to a higher power. He built the chapel to implore Honoratus of Amiens, his wife’s favorite saint—she was a baker and a florist, both professions that Honoratus presides over—to intercede with the Almighty on their behalf. This effort proved futile, and as each member of the family died, the mason interred them in a brick vault beneath the altar where they would spend eternity together. Perhaps this makes for a peculiar wedding venue, yet for over a century couples rich and poor, religious and secular have traveled to the chapel to exchange their vows. Perhaps there are few things more romantic than loving someone in the face of total futility: illness, distance, unrequitedness, prohibitions, death.
The chapel sits in a clearing surrounded by live oak trees, massive, hundreds of years old, hanging with Spanish moss, blotting out the sunlight as aisles cascade through gaps in the leaves. As you park in the grass—joining an army of Lexuses, Audis, limousines, Porsches, Ferraris, Cadillacs, Aston Martins, Alfa Romeos, and Amir’s blue Ford Escort—you observe that there are perhaps fifty guests in formal attire milling aimlessly around the building. You peer down at your white sundress, frowning. Well, I can’t go naked. The faux pas will have to be forgiven. You step out of your Chevy Celebrity and make your way across the clearing towards the chapel.
There is a long table set up in the shade with a tower of champagne glasses, an ice sculpture of a dragon, and the banana bread cake you and Amir baked for the wedding. Grim-faced servants in black suits are cutting slices and handing them out to guests on green china plates. You recognize Aegon’s wife Stephanie chatting with a flock of young women in extravagant gowns, golds and emeralds and sapphires. Helaena is among them, wearing a shimmering blue-green color like the scales of her chameleon Dreamfyre. Evidently, the Targaryens’ exotic pets have been left at the mansion for this excursion.
“Well,” the princess of Monaco says sardonically as she takes a bite, the white cream cheese frosting covered with a kaleidoscope of wildflowers. “At least the cake is good. What is this, banana? Whoever heard of a banana wedding cake? I mean, it’s delicious, but still. I knew that Christabel girl was daft. Did you see her positively absurd dress? It looks like children doodled all over it…”
Is it over? you think as you weave through the crowd, largely unnoticed. Is the ceremony done already? Why would Aemond want to see me? To try to convince me to be his mistress one last time? To show me what I’m missing by severing ties with him?
But no: something else has happened. Viserys and Christabel’s father the marquess are embroiled in a heated argument; a nun and two priests are trying to haul them apart.
“You’re dead to me, Viserys!” the marquess roars. “And you’ll be dead to everyone back home once I tell them what you’ve done!”
“I did my part! This has nothing to do with me! Wait…wait…we can figure something else out! Wait! Wait! You can have Daeron!”
Wedding guests are gawking and snapping photos with their polaroid cameras. Upon hearing his name, Daeron glances over towards his father wearily. Alicent’s youngest son is kneeling beside where she has collapsed to the grass, patting her encouragingly on the shoulder as she sobs into a green cloth handkerchief. Criston is there too, trying to soothe her with sympathetic murmurs and a flute of pink champagne glittering with bubbles of carbonation.
“How did this happen?” she wails, peering up at Criston with her vast, dark, glassy eyes. The gold rings on her fingers clang and glint; they match the single hoop earring that Criston wears. Alicent’s gown is purple like royalty, but Criston is dressed in a suit of pale pink; it’s the exact same one Daeron has on. Groomsmen? you wonder. “He knows better than this! We raised him better than this!”
You think, stunned and petrified: Aemond, what the hell did you do?
As you approach the chapel, you note that it appears empty inside; you don’t spot anyone in the pews. Somewhere, a boombox is thundering Higher Love. At the entrance of the building, Christabel is sitting on the brick walkway in her wedding dress. It’s the one you told her to choose: elegant and timeless, long train and short flowing sleeves, silk wildflowers sewn into the white lace. Her bouquet is lying forgotten on the ground beside her. Her lips are a deep, lovely pink; her eyeshadow is gold. She’s smoking, something you’ve never seen her do before. There is a half-crumpled pack of Marlboro Reds and a lighter in her left hand, a single lit cigarette in her right.
“Um, hi, Christabel,” you say. And then, something equally brainless: “Is everything okay?”
“I should have known.” She’s staring out at the crowd, not at you. Her large blue eyes are dull, vacant.
“You should have known what?” Your heart is in your throat; blood pounds in your ears like the hooves of a racehorse.
“That he didn’t care,” she says listlessly. “I could tell that he didn’t. I could feel it. But I didn’t want it to be true, so I told myself it wasn’t. Isn’t that interesting? How we can lie to ourselves? Not that it was entirely my error. Other people meddled plenty. ‘Oh no, Christabel.’ ‘He’s just emotionally stunted, Christabel.’ ‘He’s busy with work, Christabel.’ What man is too busy with work to handle a five-minute phone call? It’s not like he was on the moon. He could have made time if he wanted to. I bet he made lots of time for you.”
“Uh.” You try to decide what to say. “I broke up with him, if that’s what you’re asking. I didn’t want to be his mistress. I didn’t think that was fair to you.” Or me, obviously, but right now doesn’t seem to be the opportune time to voice my own grievances.
“Next time, I’m going to choose who I marry,” Christabel insists, puffing on her cigarette. “He has to talk to me. He has to like me.”
Aemond called it off? What did he say? What is he going to do now? “Christabel…do you know where Aemond is? Or Amir and Cadi?”
“Alicent is so upset,” she says instead. “Poor woman. She’s sweet, in her own way. But I don’t want to end up like her.” Christabel holds up the pack of Marlboros and the lighter. “She feels guilty, I think. She gave me these. She had them in her purse, she has so many neurotic little habits, doesn’t she? It’s not very ladylike to smoke, but it’s not ladylike to get left at the altar either, so fuck it.”
You ask, afraid to know the answer: “Do you hate me? I didn’t know Aemond was engaged when I met him. And then…” Why lie now? What’s the point? “Then I was in love with him and it was kind of…too late to try not to be. But I’m sorry.”
“I don’t hate you,” Christabel replies immediately. “I know he would never be allowed to marry…someone like you. Your options were limited.”
You don’t know if this is meant to be an insult or not. “Thanks.”
“I don’t think I ever loved him either,” Christabel realizes, exhaling smoke. “I think I idolized him. I think I loved my fantasy of what our marriage would be like. But I didn’t love Aemond. I didn’t even know Aemond. You did, I suspect. Good luck with him. He’s a bit…complex.”
“I’m sorry,” you say again, rather compulsively. You aren’t sure what she expects from you. Abruptly, from wherever it’s coming from, Higher Love is cut off. “So, is Aemond, like…around, or…?”
“I don’t regret the sex part.”
“Okay.” You examine the crowd in the clearing again. You still don’t see Aemond.
“That went well,” Christabel muses. “I’m glad my first time is over and done with. I was terrified it would hurt like hell. And so few people know, so it’s almost like it never happened, right?”
“Right,” you say obediently.
“I think I’ll have a new rule. I won’t marry anyone unless he likes me and we sleep together first. Life is too long to spend it with the wrong person, don’t you agree?”
“I totally do.”
“He’s waiting for you inside,” Christabel says, flicking ashes towards the gaping doorway of the chapel.
“Really?” you peer into the shadows; there is indeed a solitary figure standing at the altar. “So…what exactly is happening…?”
“Go,” Christabel urges, and takes a drag on her cigarette. You leave her and cross through the doorway into the chapel.
The light is dim and gentle; fading sunbeams slant in through the glass of the cathedral-style windows. The mason’s inspiration was Gothic architecture, imposing, cavernous. Two candlelit iron chandeliers hang from the high ceiling; the floor is made of tiles of black and white marble. Small stone sculptures of angels watch over their realm like benevolent gargoyles. There is a single stained glass window above the altar: circular like a ring, red and gold like the sun.
He’s waiting for you in a pale pink suit, long disheveled hair, thin mustache with flecks of white powder in it, mischievous smirk. “Hey cake lady,” Aegon says.
“Um. I’m not marrying you.”
“No, you’re definitely not.” Aegon offers you his hand and you take it with some hesitation. “I’m here to be your guide. Just like on the Oregon Trail.”
“What…?”
“Let’s go.” He pulls you out of the chapel, past where Christabel is still sitting at the entranceway, and across the clearing towards the trees. When you look to the crowd, Otto is elbowing his way through disgruntled guests towards a limousine, already idling.
Viserys bellows at him: “Where the hell are you going?!”
“Back to Kiribati!” Otto shouts back, not breaking his stride. He vanishes into the limo.
“Hurry,” Aegon says. He leads you into the forest, a thick canopy of verdant leaves and Spanish moss and the narrow rays of sunshine that tumble down through the gaps.
“Aegon, I don’t think we should be in the woods, it could be dangerous—”
“No, this part is fine. We already checked.”
“Who’s ‘we’?!” You’re wearing flip flops that catch on gnarled roots; the shrieking of cicadas grows loud. One of them buzzes towards Aegon and he screams as he backhands it away.
“You good?” Amir’s voice calls from farther within the trees.
“Yeah. I’m fine. We made it.”
You turn to Aegon. “What’s going on—?”
Suddenly, there is booming music that startles you: “Ooh, baby, do you know what that’s worth? Ooh, Heaven is a place on Earth! They say in Heaven, love comes first, we’ll make Heaven a place on Earth! Ooh, Heaven is a place on Earth!”
“Aegon, what is that?”
“Uh, I think it’s Heaven Is A Place On Earth.”
“Yes, okay, but why?”
“Ask that guy.” You round a thicket and there under a colossal southern live oak tree, surrounded by hundred-year-old branches that twist down to the earth, is Aemond; but he’s not looking at you. He and Cadi are lighting the last of the candles. She picks them up, he ignites the wick with the same lighter he uses to smoke his Marlboros, and then Cadi places them back on the ground or on top of a branch. Amir is standing by the large black boombox, the same one Aegon always listens to by the Targaryens’ pool. Amir grins craftily, pushing his tortoiseshell glasses up the bridge of his nose. His suit is orange, the single dogwood flower in his hair white.
“Did we get them all?” Aemond asks Cadi.
“Yeah, I think so. Wait, no, there’s one over there!” Cadi darts to it and Aemond lights the candle, then spins around and sees you. He smiles. “Hi, Cupcake.”
“Hi,” you say, so shellshocked you can’t form any of your very vital questions.
“Okay, so we have the candles,” Aemond informs you as Cadi and Aegon go to join Amir. “White with wildflower patterns.” And you recall how Alicent mentioned needing to pick out candles with Christabel, and how you didn’t see any scattered around the chapel. They brought them here. They did it for me. “And we have some actual wildflowers.” He takes the boutonniere off the lapel of his white suit and tucks it into your hair behind your left ear. “And we have Heaven Is A Place On Earth.” He gestures to the boombox. “And I think those were the three things you said you wanted if you were ever going to get married again.”
I did say that. Just once, months ago, the first time he ever came over, the first time he ever touched me. “You remembered.”
“Of course I remembered.” He takes both of your hands in his own. Amir lets out a little squeal and covers his mouth as his eyes begin to glisten. Aemond takes a deep breath. “So, I don’t have a speech, because this is very last-minute. I mean extremely last-minute. But you were right about everything. And I realized I couldn’t live that way. It wouldn’t be fair to you or to me, but it wouldn’t be fair to Christabel either. So I broke it off.”
“Literally at the altar,” Aegon says. “In front of everybody. It was so fucking awkward.”
“Those are not necessary details!” Aemond snaps, then looks back to you and is smiling again. “I know what I want. I’ve known it for as long as I’ve known you. But I wasn’t a strong enough person to make it happen. I’m so sorry. I should have done things differently. I can’t change the past. But everything is going to be different now.”
You gaze up at him as Belinda Carlisle sings, thinking: This can’t be real. I’m going to wake up now.
“On the night we met, you told me you’d never felt chosen,” Aemond says. “I’m choosing you. And, you know.” He nods to her. “Cadi too. And Amir. And the bakery. And dealing with Willis too, I guess. All of it. I’m choosing you and your whole life and that’s exactly where I want to be.”
You can feel the warmth in your face, beaming and hopeful and full of possibilities. Under the shade of the southern live oak, the first lightning bugs are blooming in the air like stars. “What about your family?”
“I’ll figure it out. I don’t think my father can entirely disown me…turns out I’m the only one who understands how the stock market works. But no matter what, you and Cadi are the priority. And my father will have to learn to live with that.”
“Or he can drop dead,” Aegon says. “Whichever.”
It’s possible? We can be together? Not just for a night, an afternoon, a stolen moment, but forever?
“I said I don’t have a speech.” Aemond tells you. His right eye is bright, elated, gleaming like a mirror. “I don’t have a ring either. But I’m going to get you one, if you’ll let me. So I’m asking you, Cupcake: Will you marry me?”
“Say yes, Mom!” Cadi yells, and Amir bursts out laughing.
“Say yes, cake lady!” Aegon adds. “Unlimited Cap’n Crunch Treats!”
When am I going to wake up? When is this going to end?
But it’s not a dream. It’s real. And Aemond reads the answer on your face before you can say it, and so it’s only a murmur as he kisses you, a whisper, a prayer: “Yes.”
~~~~~~~~~~
The three of you drive from the new house all the way to San Francisco; you still call it the new house, even though you’ve owned it for a full year. The journey takes seven days, with overnight stops in Dallas, Wonderland Amusement Park in Amarillo, Albuquerque, Flagstaff, Las Vegas, and Bakersfield. Aemond sold his Audi Quattro and replaced it with a Dodge Caravan. It’s July 1989, and Tom Petty’s brand new single Runnin’ Down A Dream is strumming from the radio. It’s always temperate in San Fran, in the 60s even at the height of summer. The sky is overcast and grey. When Cadi complains that she’s cold despite the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles hoodie you packed for her, Aemond gives her his Marlboro jacket.
Amir, his boyfriend, and two other roommates share a sunshine yellow Italianate townhouse in the Castro District. Aemond parks his wood-paneled Caravan on the steep, inclined street—he narrowly misses colliding with a whooshing cable car, which he blames on poor depth perception—and then helps you carry the luggage inside. There are no alligators on the front porch, but there are neighborhood cats that Amir puts out Friskies for; there are no screaming cicadas, but there are swooping seagulls and the melodies of sidewalk musicians. When Amir opens the door, he nearly tackles you with enthusiasm. He still wears his loud colors and short shorts, but he’s traded in the dogwood flowers he once wove into his hair for dahlias.
Amir’s boyfriend is named Don, but everyone calls him Donald Schwarzenegger because he looks so much like the Austrian bodybuilder turned actor. When Amir first arrived in the city, he got a job as a cake decorator for a very popular bakery, and quickly segued into handling much of their marketing as well. He’s thinking of getting a degree in advertising and trying his luck in corporate America. You very much enjoy teasing him for being a sellout; what would socialist Bayard Rustin say?
“Call your Daddy and let him know we made it safely to the West Coast,” you tell Cadi once her things are unpacked in the guest room she’ll get all to herself; you and Aemond are consigned to the living room futon. Cadi chats with Willis for a while, then says he wants to talk to you. You take the phone, slightly concerned; you hope nothing is amiss with the house. “Hello?”
“What the hell is wrong with this horse?” he demands. “That ain’t no pet. That’s a demon. It’s a goddamn Rougarou.”
“I told you not to try to touch him,” you say, amused.
“I feed him and water him, don’t I? Ain’t that the least he can do? Lettin’ me scratch his big ol’ idiot head?”
“Patches is not very well-behaved. But Cadi loves him.”
“And don’t even get me started on the dog. Ugliest fuckin’ dog I ever saw. Growls every time I show up. Shows its teeth and everythin’. I’d take twenty gators over that son of a bitch any day.”
“Vhagar is a girl,” you say. “Thanks for watching them while we’re out of town.”
“Sure thing, sugar. Although I still don’t understand why the bon a rien can’t do it.”
“Aegon isn’t always…reliable.” But he does seem to be improving. He’s cut back to mostly just booze and marijuana, because otherwise he and Sunfyre aren't allowed to stay at the new house for sleepovers. There’s a guest bedroom, but Aegon prefers the sunken conversation pit in the mauve pink living room. He likes to be where anyone can stumble across him if they wake up in the middle of the night for pancakes or ice cream. He likes to be where people are; he likes to be included. “Anyway, I gotta go. Cadi will call again tomorrow. Enjoy your fishing.”
“Will do. Maybe I’ll toss your accursed animals in as bait.” Lake Verret is still a bit too brackish for a proper freshwater lake, but that’s changing gradually with Daeron’s desalination efforts and a subaquatic plug affixed to the opening of the breached salt dome. He views it as a pioneering experiment in reversing such drilling accidents, potentially for application globally. Now there are more bass and lampreys and catfish, and less breams and gars, but life goes on in Napoleonville’s 14,000-acre lake. Daeron has replaced Aemond as Viserys’ heir apparent, and he is thriving in the role. He is bookish yet empathetic, focused but never ruthless. Furthermore, he happens to be genuinely in love with his aristocratic fiancée: Princess Alexandra of Denmark.
Aemond was right; Viserys didn’t disown him, but he did fire him, ban him from the mansion, and reduce his available funds to a modest living stipend. Fortunately, Viserys has a very limited comprehension of how money works for normal people, and he considers $200,000 per year to be “modest.” With that plus your bakery earnings and a paid-off house, you, Cadi, and Aemond will be living comfortably for the remainder of your lives. Also fortunately, no one else will enforce the no-Aemond rule at The Last Desire, so anytime Viserys is out of town—which is far more often than not—you get to visit the Targaryens at the mansion as much as you please. Cadi loves the water slide and the koi pond. She’s named the fish after Greek deities, her latest obsession: Zeus, Narcissus, Athena, Dionysus, Artemis, Apollo, Echo. Viserys will not acknowledge you, but the rest of the family is polite enough now that the drama of the broken engagement has blown over. When you finish the cookbook of Southern baked goods that you’ve been working on, Alicent had pledged to mail copies to all her friends and relatives back in the U.K. Otto has offered to take a box of them with him next time he jets off for Kiribati; the wealthy housewives marooned in paradise are always on the hunt for new reading material.
On your first night in San Francisco, Amir serves a dinner of cioppino, sourdough bread, and (not homemade) Rice-A-Roni. You provide dessert, a recipe you’re still perfecting: Saint Honoratus cake, a pastry that dates back to Paris in the 1800s. You want to be able to include it in your cookbook, along with photographs from your wedding in the chapel this past May, almost exactly a year from when you and Aemond first met. Your engagement ring has a gold band and pink diamonds arranged to resemble a rockrose, a dauntless little wildflower native to Aemond’s ancestral homeland of Greece. For over a decade you have loved that wildflowers are grown and not bought, small but tenacious, humble yet untamed. They do not wait for other hands to tell them where and how to grow. They are the architects of their own fortune.
When everyone is finished with dessert and gathers around the tv to watch The Golden Girls, Aemond says he’s going outside for a smoke break; but you know he’s trying to quit. You follow him into the small backyard and as soon as your bare feet touch the grass, he’s pushed you against the wall of the house, forced your thighs apart, slipped his hand down the front of your shorts as he watches the amazed, electrified desire rise in your face like heat from a stove. “It’s been a week, and I need you,” Aemond murmurs, his lips ghosting across your throat, his hips braced insistently against yours, and then he kisses you to stifle your moans as you bury your fingers in his hair, to swallow down the vicarious ecstasy of every wondrous thing he’s ever done to you and ever will. “I don’t even need you to get me off. I just need to see you like this.”
Trusting him, wanting him, letting him make me come.
Aemond has been accepted into UC Berkeley’s History PhD program and will start there at the end of August. He wants to write books about underrecognized heroes, extraordinary and yet unassuming people like Bayard Rustin and Bobbi Campbell and Phillis Wheatley. You’ll miss him of course, but there will be breaks for holidays and summers when he can return to Napoleonville, and you can fly out to visit him too, and there are phone calls, and postcards, and one day you’ll be able to go anywhere together—
You gasp, a shaky, starving breath, your lips grinning into Aemond’s. You’re close, you’re so close.
There is a shrill whistle from the back porch of a townhouse from the row behind Amir’s. “Get it, honey!” a man in a leopard-print robe cheers, waving the newspaper he’d been reading. You and Aemond unravel from each other, laughing hysterically.
“Okay,” you tell him, still panting. ���Bad plan. We are clearly not accustomed to city life.”
“Tonight,” Aemond says, low and commanding. He returns to you, kissing the side of your face: temple, cheekbone, the curve of your jaw. His voice is dark, jagged glass; his lips are soft like kind dreams. “On the futon, on the floor, anywhere.”
You want it too, but you know the game. “No.”
He pins you to the wall again, powerful, irresistible, his hardness grinding against you through his jeans, everything about him—voice, flesh, rhythm, soul—promising you the peace only he has ever given you, proving that being at the right person’s mercy can make you free. “I’m in charge now. Let me take care of you.” And for a split second you almost beg: Just do it, Aemond, right now, please touch me again, I don’t care if a stranger sees. I want you now, I want you forever.
Instead you smile up at him, the whirls of your fingerprints skating harmlessly over his scarred left cheek as you answer: “Yes sir.”
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hearta54 · 1 year
Text
He's A Distraction (Central Cee x Reader)
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Summary: You're a dedicated student and going to Cambridge and become a doctor is your stars and heavens. To make that happen you have to move schools, a boy was never meant to be part of the picture. But Cench looks so good in it...
Word Count: 2 472
Notes: Sorry this is a bit long, I would love if you guys would send requests.
You scroll fixatedly on your laptop, scanning the screen in intense concentration and stopping each time something caught your attention. Reading the Cambridge Medicine webpage was an addiction; in the past you had tried to dissuade yourself from accepting this, but how could you not when it always stared blankly back at you? Addictive but productive, each time you re-read the sentences you had engraved into your memory you grew closer to your dream. And when you closed your eyes at night, you saw yourself in lavender scrubs and a pearly white lab coat; living your dream of being a Cambridge Alumni doctor.
Three A*s needed for entry motivated you to be an excellent student. You didn't mean to behave exaltedly but your current school was inadequate in innumerable ways. Today in biology, there hadn't been enough dissection kits, so the class had taken notes robotically and brushed over the practical. Defeated, you remembered how you had trudged home dubious; how could a school implore success in its students and not have the right resources? A memory of sitting in an examination room at Queen Victoria's Sixth Form Academy unnerved you, yes, you had sat the scholarship examination. It had been strenuous and the competition in the room had been palpable, even so, you didn't feel as if you could compete successfully. Falling asleep, you were plagued by these worrisome thoughts even in your dreams.
Obnoxiously the sound of your alarm erupted immersing the room and awakening you. Each morning when you woke up, a void would open gaping at you, existing ostentatiously: It was a persisting sense of loneliness at first; an innocuous reminder to cherish time with your parents. But this was difficult when they both left for work as the sun just began to emerge teasingly over the horizon. Your mother worked as a university professor, such a nominal salary for an intelligent woman, and your dad worked as a nurse; anyone could tell you nurses were underappreciated, numbers didn't have to. A smart knock was being emitted from the hallway, who was at the door?
A postman adorned in fluorescents held a letter for you to take, when you hesitated a second too delayed, he dropped it, walking swiftly to his flagged motorbike and zooming down the road. A Queen Victoria's Academy insignia? You felt so inauspicious as you leaned on the door prying the seal delicately open. Covering your face with your hand you peaked at the verdict through the intricate gaps between your fingers. "We would like to congratulate your success on the recent Academic Scholarship examination and invite you to accept a scholarship place with us." No words can grasp your joy it's transcending.
Yawning tiredly, you stretched placing your feet into your fluffy slippers, the night had gone and went without a wink of reprieve - you were consumed with nerves for the day ahead: Your first day at Queen Victoria's Sixth Form Academy. Opening the door, you walked across the creaking timber to make breakfast alone as you did every morning. You were befuddled to see your mother occupied in the kitchen handling an assortment of kitchenware ,readying a breakfast spread; usually you would just eat cereal; before you were pancakes, fresh fruit niftily cut, orange juice and array of salivating dishes.
"Mum why are you not at work?"
"I wanted to drive you for your first day, I can't begin to express how proud dad and I are," she said beaming excitedly.
You sat at the kitchen visualizing your mother's small, slightly dated and mediocre car driving alongside the avant-garde and luxurious cars of your new peers. Your stomach knotted half ominously and half guiltily. She seemed so happy to drive you and had sacrificed work to drive you, your inner monologue whispered insisting to take the bus would leave your mother forlorn.
"I'm glad you're taking me; I didn't really want to take the bus on my first day anyways."
Lies.
The academy's tree-lined boulevard was now in sight, driving alongside it now; planting your face against the misty window, eager to catch a glimpse. Your mother's car was now aligned with the curb which signaled a convenient space to leave; grudgingly you opened the door slowly as if peeking into a foreign world - in a way you were. You breathed in a long breath of courage as you slung your bag across your shoulders.
"Bye mum, thanks for the ride," you said, genuinely grateful.
"My pleasure darling, I love you, see you after school." Your mother grinned, pride cascading her face and carved smile lines. Guilt ebbed slowly as you watched your mother drive away. As her car dissipated to a speck in the distance a humble maroon car pulled to the curb, your mother had dropped you off with a car of a similar stature. You felt an unspoken sense of camaraderie. I'm glad I have someone to share the embarrassment with.
A boy emerged who appeared to be in the upper-sixth form - your year. He didn't seem ashamed of his car or even the slightest bit alienated; instead, he was confident, you could read if from his aura: it preceded him. Staring now, you saw his dark hair which was styled into jaw length box braids. His cutting cheek bones were iridescent, catching the sunlight, and you marveled at the softness of his plum bottom lip...
"I love you mum, thanks for the ride," he spoke to his mother with a genuine smile.
"I couldn't say no after you begged for a ride, could I? Have a good first day, Oakley."
What! He had asked for a ride. The guilt came gushing back, you weren't like him, yes you could relate about your car which was vain and face level. But he appreciated his mother wholly and wasn't attempting a façade to fit in with the elitism around. You felt a searing pang of shame. Frozen in thought you only broke out of this state when you felt dark coffee eyes meeting your gaze. The dwindling blare of the lesson bell dismissed you from the intense, awkward situation. Walking towards the office to meet the enrollment officer you chastised yourself sternly: This was the year of academic success entailing A*s, boys could tear down everything you had worked so hard for in a painful heartbeat.
The enrollment officer had distributed timetables to the small group of scholarship students; some of them gave a condescending air: Almost as if the fact testing had terminated slipped their minds, but most were nice and proffered kind but shy smiles, clipped at the edges with perceptible nerves. You navigated the halls wearily searching for your chemistry lab, the school was grandiose but tastefully understated. The look of old money attracted your gaze, it was a world away from where you had come. Walking the winding stairs, you see your chemistry class meters away from the landing 'room 299.'
Having arrived ahead of time allowed you to peruse the chemistry lab, it was a spectacle. Advanced modern equipment, granite bench tops, the most powerful microscopes... It left you speechless. You were broken from your trance by your classmates trickling in slowly and the booming voice of your new chemistry teacher.
"I am Dr. Olsen, I have a doctorate of chemistry from Oxford itself, trust you are in more than good hands," he paused to chuckle at his own joke but carried on when the students unreciprocated his mirth.
"This is the only chemistry class in the upper sixth form, that should allude to the arduous nature of the course. Therefore, to maximise your concentration I have taken it upon myself to devise a seating plan."
Dr. Olsen trailed off when the class began to groan resentfully.
"You can thank me when you receive your A-level results at the end of sixth form. Right then, in the back row, Y/N and Oakley Caesar-Su, Veronica Windward and Yasser Malik ..."
Oakley, You had been seated next to the boy from earlier this morning. You knew you shouldn't be smiling to yourself, chemistry was an imperative A-level. You weaved yourself to the back row and sat next to him.
"Hi Oakley," your voice had manifested much more timidly than you had expected.
" Yeah hey y/n, call me Cench, only my mum and tired old teachers like this one call me Oakley."
You giggled unexpectedly, he grinned back his gaze lingering. As Dr. Olsen droned on about Titration you took down notes studiously, beside you Cench was doing the same; writing down notes swiftly. You couldn't help but notice his handwriting was neat and prettily round, looking at his notes you dropped your pen. From your stool you reached down to retrieve it, on the way back up you bumped heads with Cench who had thoughtfully wanted to help.
"Oh my days, I'm sorry y/n, you good?" He was asking searching your eyes for signs of hurt.
You went to assure him you were okay when you got cut off by no other than Dr. Olsen...
"You two in the back Oakley and y/n quiet please."
"I am sorry Dr. Olsen I was just _"
"I don't want a justification take notes like everyone else, or get out," he said belittlingly.
Your cheeks got hotter as the class snapped their necks rubbernecking to witness your embarrassment, you looked at your notes mortified.
"Look, Dr. Olsen, You don't have to chat to her that way, she bumped her head and I was seeing if she was okay, yeah." Cench's jaw was locked making his cheek bones even more enunciated.
" Don't talk back Mr. Caesar-Su, detention after school." With an angered demeanor he resumed his lesson. You fought away guilt as you continued taking notes, if only I had gripped my pen tighter.
Trailing the halls advancing towards the exit, you're clouded with gratitude tinged with empathy for Cench, you hadn't meant to get him in trouble. Nor had you meant to tarnish his reputation in front of the strictest teacher. In your periphery you see Cench and your heart soars.
"Hi, Cench, I'm so sorry about earlier, I didn't think you'd get in trouble for trying to help."
"Don't worry about it y/n, that prick shouldn't have -"
"Right, students before we go into the room, these are the rules of after-school detention..." A teacher drawled these words with an expression of boredom.
You gave Cench an apologetic look over your shoulder before you opened the door, you were met by a smile and a shrug of the shoulders from Cench. The whole way home your mind is scattered with intrusive thoughts of him, you don't want them there but you don't want to fight them away either.
Cench's POV:
Detention dragged on just as I thought, thoughts of y/n appeased this listlessness because thinking of her had made it bearable. As we had worked on our assignments in silence I had chosen to continue my English literature essay. I could say I had not made much progress because the silence which filled the room was unsettling, but really it was because it was y/n who occupied my mind. Y/n with her guileless smile, her sharp and dazzling intellect, the clocked tick some more and I spent the time like this: Thinking up an interminable list of why I like y/n. Really and truly I had only met her today, but something about her...
Wrapping a towel around my waist and drying my wet braids, I hear a ping from my phone. 'You have received an email from..." It's a notification from the enrollments officer. Is this about today, I know I went overboard but I wasn't gonna let that prick talk to y/n like that.
I check what she has to say and she's saying I have to pick an extra-curricular to fulfil my scholarship expectations. That's calm, I'll join the Charitable Cause Club, I heard y/n is in it.
Y/N's POV:
At your desk you're riddled with inconsolable worry. In two days will be the chemistry exam which will make thirty percent of your semester grade. Staring at the notes in front of you which feel insurmountable you begin studying. It is well after midnight when you finally turn off your lamp and resign to sleep.
Cench's POV:
Standing around the classroom I see y/n, her eyebrows are nearly touching in what looks like worry while she reads her chemistry notes. I never thought she would panic during exam season, I think she's the smartest in our whole class. Watching her worry like eats away at me I really don't like it.
Lying awake on top of my covers despite the cold. My mind turns to y/n for the infinite time and I stop randomly at the Starbucks order she has in the morning sometimes. A regular matcha latte with two pumps of vanilla syrup and a strawberry icing doughnut embedded with fresh pieces of strawberry. Trust man's not simping... it's deeper than that.
Y/N's POV:
At 7am on a Friday morning, the library is empty. The comforting silence interrupted sporadically by the tinkering of the librarian. Today, is the day of the chemistry exam and no matter how much you study you don't feel ready for the exam. You feel warmth on your head, the feeling of someone watching you so you glance up straight into coffee eyes. It's Cench leaning on a bookcase your favourite Starbucks order in hand. Your heart skips several beats.
"Hi y/n, your such a neek you know, studying at this time." Cench says this as his eyes flick across your face, enthralled.
"I don't know, you can never be prepared enough," you retort, trying to fight a smile from showing on your lips but failing.
"I don't know about that, you'll do great, your as smart as you are cute. Which makes you very smart."
You feel your cheeks getting hotter and you stare blankly at your notebook.
Never taking his eyes off you Cench puts the drink and a paper bag down on the table.
"I got you a little something, good luck, yeah."
You watch him as he walks away, with his bag slung over one shoulder. Suddenly you are filled with the confidence he has in you.
Taking a few sips of your matcha leaves you refreshed, reaching into the paper bag your heart squeezes when you see a strawberry covered doughnut. How did he know. Looking inside the bag for napkins you see a strip of paper, unfolding the paper you read the message.
It says: You should go out with man. Scrolled on the bottom is a phone number.
You gasp earning a reprimanding look from the librarian. Your mind wanders visualising what your date with him will be like.
...
THE END
523 notes · View notes
actual-changeling · 6 months
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Welcome back to Alex's unhinged meta corner - although today it is less unhinged and more of a watertight analysis.
What I am about to present you is something most people have probably already noticed, but it has been three months and I still lose my mind while going through the final fifteen frame by frame (which is a normal thing normal people like us do, right? right).
You literally cannot convince me my following meta is wrong, and the only person whose criticism I will accept on this post is Michael Sheen and Michael Sheen ONLY. If you're not Michael Sheen (hi Michael Sheen who probably has a secret tumblr account) then your guess is as good as mine, though again, I think mine is solid.
So.
We all love and hate Aziraphale's "I forgive you", but what I find even more painful is the fact that before that he almost said "I love you". Then he stops himself and changes it, and the amount of micro-expressions on his face as he makes that decision is my current cause of death.
Here's the clip as evidence #1, and while it can definitely support itself, let's dive into the pain a little more, shall we?
One important thing I noticed is that Aziraphale doesn't look at Crowley while he stutters his way through his initial reaction. He blinks up at him for a few frames before averting his eyes again and only holds eye contact after the almost-confession (from here on referred to as IL-).
This is Aziraphale holding eye contact with Crowley (left) vs. him looking away (right):
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The frame on the left is from the I forgive you (IFY) part of the scene, the other one from right before IL-. If we go through the above clip little by little we will find that he avoids Crowley's face the entire time and his gaze slips further and further down, which I interpret as him overthinking/trying to come up with something to respond to this entire situation.
He is overwhelmed and surprised, caught between his two main desires: Crowley and being a Good Angel.
Combing through the frames, we can actually nail down exactly when Aziraphale first makes eye contact before the IL- and when he stops. Keep the above comparison in mind! The angle is slightly different because his chin is lower and he straightens up throughout the scene.
So! This is where he starts looking at Crowley:
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And this is where he stops:
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Hard to see? Let's zoom in on his eyes (numbers are the file names):
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Now, you might ask me "Alex, this is all fine, although a bit insane, but why is any of this important?"
Because, fellow tumblr user and good omens enthusiast, I think that looking at Crowley is what changes his mind about what to say.
He doesn't look at him -> about to confess his feelings.
He looks at him -> says the absolutely worst possible thing.
Partly to hurt him because they're both lashing out at each other during this argument, but he looks at Crowley, looks at the person that just kissed him, that told him they could have been an us, that wants him and has always wanted him, screw everyone else.
He looks at Crowley and he wants to say l love you but then what? Once he says those words, he can't leave. He just can't.
We have to remember that they have existed within a complicated dance, a game that they have been playing for centuries without ever telling each other what that game actually is, what the rules are - because they couldn't. It was based entirely on trust and knowing the other person well enough to play it safe.
Crowley just flipped the playing board. Nothing is the way it should be, he is refusing to do their dance, refusing to play. He is looking at him and daring him to stop trying to put the pieces back on the board. The only thing neither of them has done yet is actually say I love you out loud.
Saying those words would mean stepping away from the playing board and acknowledging the room they have been playing in. It would mean saying fuck you to heaven, yes, but it would also force Aziraphale to finally define himself outside of the role he has been playing for both Crowley and heaven, and he isn't ready for that yet.
Additionally, there is the fear and/or knowledge (depending on what else the Metatron might have said or done that we did not see) that heaven will retaliate against him and Crowley if he disobeys them now, and he does not want to risk that either.
All that is what, in my opinion, happens in his head when he averts his eyes and interrupts himself. I do kinda what to make a whole different post about his facial expressions leading up to the IFY, so I will end this one with one more bit of pain.
Ready?
Firstly, the face he makes when he makes his decision.
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Look at the tight line of his lips, the pain etched into his face, the pure pain in his eyes.
This is the face of someone who knows exactly how badly he is going to hurt Crowley and himself. This is an apology, an I'm sorry for what I'm about to do, this hurts me as much as it hurts you. I'm sorry but I have to.
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And then he winces afterwards. I don't know about you, but this is exactly the kind of face I make when I'm emotionally torturing myself with my own thoughts. For the final blow, please look at the picture very, very closely, especially the last frame, because Aziraphale isn't just sorry and he isn't just in pain.
Aziraphale is scared because he knows* that he might lose Crowley over this. He knows that saying I forgive you is (almost) unforgivable. He KNOWS.
He does it anyway because he will lose Crowley either way but he'd rather have him alive and hating him than dead.
With that I am concluding today's unhinged meta corner, thank you for your attention and you're welcome for the pain.
Also: If you want to call me a 'tin hatter' or insane or otherwise make fun of me - this is very much a girl, what were YOU doing at the devil's sacrament moment because you read my meta post all the way to the end. <3
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*authors note: what Aziraphale thinks he knows and what is actually real is not the same thing but that's a different post
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