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xiuminsbutt · 2 months

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I swear they’re both at fault

Theres no taking sides in this

They’re a toxic couple what could you have expected but still skylar noo i know you love to run your mouth when you’re angry but pls stop alr you’re not just hurting yourself at this point you got anger issues ik and you’re traumatized from your past which explains it but does not excuse your behavior

I could say the same for cirrus like you quite literally are craving any affection you can get ever since you’ve found someone who knows pretty much the real you after you shut everyone out but like you’re pushing too far

Once again your past explains it but it does NOT excuse such hate filled behavior

You both jsut need to talk it out and communicate your needs better if you don’t wanna wake up in a pool of your and his blood after a violent fight

Like this is going back to exactly how it started

Y’all fighting all the time because you(cirrus) wanted any sort of attention from someone you found interesting and Skylar only knowing to respond with fists

Continuing this and bringing chan il in it will only be fuel to the dumpster fire you’ve created for yourselves

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xiuminsbutt · 2 months

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Lost in The Cloud Chapter 101 SPOILERS

Crazy to say but… If I was in Cirrus position, I would not ever be able to forgive Skylar for what he said.

“He didn’t mean it!! It was just said in the heat of the moment!!” Firstly, you don’t know that. You’re just assuming he doesn’t mean it to cope. Secondly, it does not matter if he meant it or not, he still said it.

Skylar knows Cirrus’ past traumas of being put last and/or mistreated by the people he (Cirrus) loves. Therefore, even if he did not mean it, he knew saying it would upset Cirrus. Skylar intentionally used trauma to hurt Cirrus which is why I believe cirrus brought up skylar’s middle school experience; a way to get back at him.

Now I’m not mad at Skylar or blame him for the fall of the relationship, he’s a teenager (underdeveloped frontal lobe lol). BUT I don’t think a relationship can realistically recover after what he said.

At first, I would root for the relationship because its faults were childish and can be forgiven. However, I think that has past and I don’t wish them to be endgame. Cirrus deserves to be with someone who can love him the way he so desperately desires and Skylar can’t give him that; that’s okay.

(Obviously what can and cannot be forgiven is extremely subjective but I just can’t imagine allowing anyone speak to me the way skylar spoke to cirrus in this chapter.)

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xiuminsbutt · 1 year

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a o e i i er ai ei ao ou an en ang eng ong i ia iao ie iu ian in iang ing iong u ua uo uai ui uan un uang ueng ü üe üan ün a o e er ai ao ou an en ang eng yi ya yao ye you yan yin yang ying yong wu wa wo wai wei wan wen wang weng yu yue yuan yun b ba bo bai bei bao ban ben bang beng bi biao bie bian bin bing bu p pa po pai pei pao pou pan pen pang peng pi piao pie pian pin ping pu m ma mo me mai mei mao mou man men mang meng mi miao mie miu mian min ming mu f fa fo fei fou fan fen fang feng fu d da de dai dei dao dou dan den dang deng dong di diao die diu dian ding du duo dui duan dun t ta te tai tei tao tou tan tang teng tong ti tiao tie tian ting tu tuo tui tuan tun n na ne nai nei nao nou nan nen nang neng nong ni niao nie niu nian nin niang ning nu nuo nuan nü nüe l la le lai lei lao lou lan lang leng long li lia liao lie liu lian lin liang ling lu luo luan lun lü lüe g ga ge gai gei gao gou gan gen gang geng gong gu gua guo guai gui guan gun guang k ka ke kai kei kao kou kan ken kang keng kong ku kua kuo kuai kui kuan kun kuang h ha he hai hei hao hou han hen hang heng hong hu hua huo huai hui huan hun huang z za ze zi zai zei zao zou zan zen zang zeng zong zu zuo zui zuan zun c ca ce ci cai cao cou can cen cang ceng cong cu cuo cui cuan cun s sa se si sai sao sou san sen sang seng song su suo sui suan sun zh zha zhe zhi zhai zhei zhao zhou zhan zhen zhang zheng zhong zhu zhua zhuo zhuai zhui zhuan zhun zhuang ch cha che chi chai chao chou chan chen chang cheng chong chu chua chuo chuai chui chuan chun chuang sh sha she shi shai shei shao shou shan shen shang sheng shu shua shuo shuai shui shuan shun shuang r re ri rao rou ran ren rang reng rong ru rua ruo rui ruan run j ji jia jiao jie jiu jian jin jiang jing jiong ju jue juan jun q qi qia qiao qie qiu qian qin qiang qing qiong qu que quan qun x xi xia xiao xie xiu xian xin xiang xing xiong xu xue xuan xun

NAKU 🫵

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xiuminsbutt · 2 years

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I hoped the world ended at the kitchen table, where i saw my father crying for the first time, when he lost my brother. I was devastated. He hadn't cried when he had lost me.

#dark academia #my writing #writing #toxic parents #toxic masculinity #academia aesthetic #desi academia #writers on tumblr #spoken word #spilled words #beautiful words #sad thoughts #spilled thoughts #dead poetry #poem #free write

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xiuminsbutt · 2 years

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Sometimes I just realise that my life isn't as hard as I make it to be. And I'm not saying it in the sense that other people have it worse than me, no... It's just that,, Idk... it's not hard enough for myself. When I look back at the things that once hurt me, I always ask myself, "Seriously? You were crying over something like that?" And I don't know whether it is because it was genuinely not something to be sad about, that my emo ass just had to pretend like I was the saddest creation on earth so I could feel like the main character; or am I just invalidating my pain now that I got through it, because it wasn't enough to kill me.

#dark academia #spilled words #my writing #writers #words typed #writblr #writers on tumblr #hurt/comfort #dark academism #desi academia #light academia #writing #writeaway #true words #wordpress #spoken word

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xiuminsbutt · 2 years

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I write letters to my future self, because my past self used to write letters to me. She had asked me to be proud of her if I ever get to read these letters, because she didn't give up to her sadness back then. And today, I'm really proud and thankful to her.

I can't promise you that life will get better, but it surely won't get worse.

— excerpt from a letter, I wrote to my best friend

#dark academia #my writing #spilled words #writers #words typed #writblr #writers on tumblr #dark academism #letters #excerpts from my journal #journal

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xiuminsbutt · 2 years

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My mother tells me I'm privileged. She wants me to follow her foot. I'm afraid to do so. What if I end up like her? Loveless, lonely, vile, hateful....

My mother wants to be like her. She can't stand to see me doing better.

#my writing #dark academia #spilled words #writers #words typed #writblr #toxic mother #mother daughter relationship #mother #toxic parenting #toxic parents #toxic love #daughter #writers on tumblr

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xiuminsbutt · 2 years

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I've convinced myself that I'm not cruel. Because the first time I noticed that I'm cruel, I was only suffocating fireflies inside my innocent little palm. And I've deluded myself into believing that the time is frozen inside a glass jar. I've never evolved from that precocious little kid into an unbridled monster I barely recognise.

#my writing #writers #writing #writing prompt #words typed #spilled words #writers and poets #writblr #dead poetry #reading #dark academia #dark academic aesthetic #dark academism #grey academia #poem

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xiuminsbutt · 2 years

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When I was young, I believed my mother hated me.

Now that I'm older, I think I hate me too.

#dark academia #mother #daughter #mother daughter relationship #toxic parents #toxic parenting #toxic mother #writing prompt #my writing #free write #writing #writerscommunity #writerslife #dead poets society #dead poetry

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xiuminsbutt · 2 years

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"How are you?"

Bruh I think life has no actual purpose and that this world is way too monotonous for me to go another day so it's better to kms but I also don't wanna miss out on life so I promise myself that I'll kms sometime in the definite future but when the deadline comes closer, I postpone my de@th because I'm too scared to actually kms.

#dark academia #free write #my writing #true words #words typed #my life #nihility #nihilist #nihilism #dead poets society #dead or alive #dark academism #dark academic aesthetic

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xiuminsbutt · 3 years

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It's too sad you know, to have a best friend who calls you every night just to make sure you're still alive.

#dark academia #my writing #writing prompt #writers on tumblr #writers #writblr #reading #spilled words #words typed #my words #true words #poem #writerslife #aesthetic #dark angel #dark academism #dark acadamia aesthetic #dark aesthetic

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xiuminsbutt · 3 years

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xiuminsbutt · 3 years

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Imperfect Human

I'm an imperfect human,

Breeding on an imperfect land;

I build castles on the shore,

Until they mix up with the sand.

I'm an imperfect friend,

Feeling suffocated in the crowd;

I'll walk alone to my grave,

Write it down on my shroud.

I'm an imperfect student,

Mocking life as my teacher;

I took the notes it gave,

But I lost it throughout the years.

I'm an imperfect poet,

Living in a dystopian world;

I've create my own sufferings,

Just so my poems can have a word.

I'm an imperfect child,

Dancing on a shallow platform;

The audience is my solitude,

And I don't know when to stop.

#prose #poem #poetry #poets on tumblr #dead poets society #aesthetic #spilled words #free write #writing prompt #writing #my writing #writers #writers on tumblr #original poems #reading #human nature #imperfect #imperfection

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xiuminsbutt · 3 years

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There is a girl I know from Twitter. I hate her. She reminds me too much of myself. The way she speaks about herself, announcing to the world that she hates her own body just so somebody else could love her. Disregarding her own likes and dislikes, trying to fit in a box that she thinks is cool, is now made into a comfort place for her. She likes to believe her life is a cruel dystopia and she loves to fight these demons that don't even exist in reality. I can read her emotions. I can understand how she feels. And I hate it. Maybe because I used to be just like her. And I regret that now.

#free write #my writing #writers on tumblr #writers #writing #spilled thoughts #twitter #writeaway #writerslife #thoughts #writing prompt #prose #excerpts from my journal #journal #diary entry

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xiuminsbutt · 3 years

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Truce

I plead alliance,

between my demons and my angels

Divided by the infinite stripes

Separating heavens and hells.

I beg an end to the war

Conflicting for the air I breathe;

'cause when I'm bruised,

They leave my wounds unhealed.

I propose a compromise:

I'll seek my demons in defiance

But my angels for reliance.

If it suits, I plead alliance.

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xiuminsbutt · 3 years

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Although tired,

The censors will never sleep.

I am the nightmare fairy

Bringing the algorithm's dream.

After the dusk,

The netizens will be silenced,

Waiting for the daybreak

To express their ambivalence

With words that hurt

And strike like a sword,

Leaving the shield less victims

Apathetic on the floor.

In that time of war, I'll sing a lullaby

Conducted by the Censors;

In an attempt to send them back

Into the short peaceful slumbers.

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xiuminsbutt · 3 years

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She's crazy. She's ecstatic.

She prays for Satan and dances without any music.

She reads and She skates.

She dreams and designs Her own fate.

She dreams of dreams that are so unreal.

She wants to know for once, how love feels.

She's quiet and an anxious one.

She hides inside herself, a raging ocean.

She's a rocker in grunge.

She wakes up when people are having lunch.

She longs to be left all alone.

But She cries when there's no one along.

She's modern. She's classic.

She's so sceptic but She still believes in magic.

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