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be warned i’ve got a shark egg and i’m not afraid to info dump about it

#my classmates did not escape a few well placed shark facts #it’s a swell shark egg case #and it’s in wonderful condition #a storm dragged it in and im lucky no one else nabbed it #sharks #beach combing #i adore swell sharks they love to cuddle and are so smol

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y’all i’m locked out of my microwave

#apparently there’s a child safety mode #it prevents any button from working #presumably summoned by pressing All The Buttons At Once #(like i did) #(but in my defense the start button wasn’t t working #and i therefore had no choice) #but let me tell you #i did not need a microwave declaring me Child

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"descended into madness" um actually i climbed here? yeah it was a pretty steep journey. yeah the air's pretty thin up here. i think im getting altitude sickness. pretty dizzy actually

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y’all i think i fucked up my tea leaf reading cause they told me that im never going to properly rest but im going to be happily married and also someone with a “C” name is going to cause a scandal in my life like bro i just wanted to know if i should take a nap

#i’m just a sleepy little guy #who wouldn’t mind some advise on how to properly read the leaves #also the swan shape i saw might’ve been an ostrich #but my reference book didn’t know what that symbolized #so i might not actually have a happy marriage #i think i fucked up when i used both hands to turn my cup upside down #rookie mistake #tea #tea leaves #divination #witch

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Rural Boys Watch The Apocalypse (rough draft) by Keaton St. James

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who knew all it’d take to get that sweet gender euphoria was more hair

#this is officially the mullet and mustache gang #i thought i’d have to wait at LEAST 4 more months for facial hair #i mean it is just peach fuzz at this point but still #it’s the little things #transgender #transmasc #ftm hrt

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why must i be burdened with god’s hardest battles (walking through Michael’s without buying a book on crocheting cute creatures or perhaps a magical coloring book)

#i failed todays battle btw #i got a little cute monster coloring book #i don’t even know how to crochet #I WANNA CROCHET THE LITTLE DRAGON #crafts #diy craft #coloring #crochet

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so do vampires have to be careful about what blood types they drink together? cause if a blood cell encounters another blood cell that is of Enemy Type it will gather its friends and Attack which causes a blood clot so what do vampires do? hack into their chosen victims medical records? wait until their last meal has been pissed out and they’re essentially starving so there’s lower chance of blood mixing? do vampires piss? can they smell different blood types as an evolutionary development? do they have some sort of internal organ that strips the blood of it’s type?

#there are many possibilities here #and if i ever write a story about vampires #you know i’ll add this bit of lore #as a treat #but seriously do vampires piss #vampire #fantasy lore #blood

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*sees someone laying on the concrete*: bro?

*sees camera in their hands, aimed directly up*: ah carry on then

#photography #photographers are just like that

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an intense hatred of capitalism vs an intense love of trinkets

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science side of tumblr this bookstagram that- what about the furby side of spotify???

#shall it be dubbed furbify? #science side of tumblr #spotfiy #furbies

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i love asking the runes if i should get revenge via vandalism and getting told “yeah it’d help you heal and move on but it’s technically morally wrong” like that’s good enough for me!!! off i go!!!

#norse runes #witchcraft

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question: would Annabeth Chase and Peter Parker have beef? how much spider is enough spider to be influenced by Arachne? if Peter saw Annabeth would his spidey senses just start blaring cause of her heritage or cause she’s wearing a yankees cap and he’s a mets fan

#the real questions #percy jackon and the olympians #spiderman #fandom discourse #i never thought i’d look up spider-man’s sports team #but here i am

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dress like a punk gf, act like a confused bf

#invite my friends to run an errand #end up getting dragged up and down the same isle #for 20 minute #again #i don’t learn my lesson #why do they need to look at all the options #when 90% of them aren’t even the product they’re looking for #at least we get iced not-coffees after

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i love enabling people when it comes to like, fashion choices and doing stupid but fun shit. like yes bro dye ur hair pink it’ll grow back. buy those glitter pens and take notes with em if it makes you happy every time you have class. do a cartwheel right fuckin now and impress the ducks that are staring at us they want a good time too. life is short so stuff you might cringe at later if it makes you happy now

#all my friends get endless encouragement #it’s what i needed #so now it’s what i give #everything is temporary #so nothing matters in the end #and i mean that in a good way

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My cat just fucking UWU’d

#wtf am i supposed to do #how did he do that #he doesn’t even know what he did #he’s just a little guy

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guess who’s in the top one percent on the leaderboards for robot unicorn attack 2

#i’m so proud #robot unicorn attack #i’m just that good