batfamilywonders

[batfamilywonders]

Starting to think a cooler headcanon for Clark’s upbringing might just be that the entire town of Smallville collectively decided to just go with it and accept that Martha and John's kid has superpowers, but we don't talk about it.

Someone's tractor gets stuck and nothing can get it out? "Be a dear and run down to the Kents, would you? Ask for Clark?"

"Why Clark, we need a machine--"

"Run along now."

Or if he kicks too hard and the football vanishes into the upper stratosphere, no it didn't, we all collectively saw it land over there *vague hand movements*

[batfamilywonders]

Ok so this post is very spirited but it is somewhat true. I'm kind of tired of the overly Dick-bashing Tim-leaves-the-batfam fanfics.

It's literally impossible to read bat fanfiction because it's all based off those ridiculous fanon tropes that spread like crazy and people take as fucking biblical!!!!! Dick was never a jerk to Jason when he was Robin- they got along because Dick is mature as hell and in one retelling- Jason was a jerk to him!! And when he came back as Red Hood he had literally not a single damn reason to treat Dick like shit! Not a damn one! But he did, didn't he? Cause he's the fucking asshole! How dare you make Dick grovel towards that bastard! Dick has only ever tried to help him! Reached out during his Batman run, over and over! Also- Dick never put Jason in Arkham with Joker just a few cells down???? What the fuck! The Joker and all those other fuckers had been broken out of Arkham by Black Mask already for like the whole run??? Jason went to Arkham after losing to Dick, and Gordon put him in there because One he fucking deserved it, Two the literal circumstances?? And at that point!! Arkham was fucking rehabilitated itself!! By Dick!!! Because Bruce had him go undercover there for real, and Dick was actually tortured there before he got out!! So Dick put in the work to get that shit in order to actually help people!!

Dick never chose Damian over Tim- Tim refused to engage with him over his grief, shut him out, and left of his own devices! He never told Dick his suspicions on why Bruce was alive, never! And Tim is not the one to bring Bruce back either, there's a whole team at that point! Dick learns Bruce is alive through tossing his 'dead' body into a pit and the body comes to life as a zombie. Tim didn't tell him shit! Tim is also not a little crybaby- Damian cutting his line was a fucking blip on the page, he was momentarily shocked, that was it! He put Damian on his Hit List, which is why Damian cut his line. And his first attempt at "murder" is just pushing Tim off the dinosaur statue in the cave, he didn't go all assassin on him! Also Dick wasn't even there the first incident and wasn't told about the second incident. Alfred is the one who gave Damian Robin and Dick accepted him because he saw that Damian needed help! He needed guidance! He didn't fucking fire Tim the way Bruce fired him, and fuck all of you for thinking that Tim or Jason or fucking anyone has more right over Robin than Dick Fucking Grayson! He tried to promote Tim and Tim walked off. How dare yall make Dick fucking grovel towards that bastard!!!

Jason did try to kill all three of them!! Why does everyone just gloss over that like what the fuck??? Why does he get a pass for every shitty thing he's done??? "Bad writing" stfu this is the same dude that without hesitation kills random criminals, people who deal drugs, do you know how many random ass people deal drugs??? Jason doesn't give a single shit about being his own type of hero or saving Gotham his own way, nor do the people think of him as their savior!! Are you people fucking delusional?? I saw a post that said citizens would trust Jason over CASS and I cannot Believe the hallucinations yall are seeing???

It is literally downright impossible to find fics about Dick or Damian or Cass or fucking any of them that doesn't include these literal bullshit fanon takes!!! It's impossible!!! This fandom sucks!!!! You don't even need to go buy the comics, all these popular takes have been debunked right here on tumblr!!!! Also Dick can do literally everything!! He's hypercompetent as hell, die mad about it!! Jason doesn't like Wonder Woman???? Where the fuck did that come from??? Wayne Family Adventures is not real!!! Those people could not BE more out of character!!! Look at Bruce for crying out loud!!! Yall know that man ain't act like that!

Edit: leaving this here in case anyone wonders what my hot take is towards this question I was asked: "have you considered tho, that fanon is more fun..."

Well of course fanon is more fun if you're a fan of Jason or Tim. Fanon actively caters towards those two pasty white boys. Fanon actively shits on Dick and Damian though. And for Dick? He literally never did that shit! It is all made up! It's literal character assassination?? But by the fans?? And for Damian? He was 10!!! He grew up as an assassin! He was actively trying to grow with Dick's help! How can yall see him as the bad guy?? And not the literal bad guy, (Jason), and the 17 teen year old who literally fought him back btw, (Tim), like old boy did not act victimized the way you people portray. And Jesus for Cass? Cass is just a prop in fanon. So what exactly about this should be fun to me? Like seriously.

[batfamilywonders]

People love to say Jason is “Dick with anger issues” like Dick isn’t literally “Dick with anger issues” himself

#this is so true #why do people ignore Dick's anger issues?

[batfamilywonders]

the day i draw tim drake actually sleeping, assume I'm being mind controlled.

[batfamilywonders]

Tim has scheduled a 5 minute mental breakdown once a month, as a treat

[batfamilywonders]

Batfam incorrect quotes

Dick: I’m the smartest, wisest person in this group. Tim: Really? Then why is your hand stuck in a vending machine? Dick: I paid for my Mars Bar, I’m getting my Mars Bar.

Tim: Isn't it weird that people kill mosquitoes just because they're annoying? Stephanie: Damn, if people did that to each other, Jason would've killed me years ago.

Tim: How the hell are you still alive? Dick: Honestly, I’m just as confused as you are.

Dick: Oh, fiddlesticks! That really ruffles my feathers! Stephanie: Please, just say fuck.

Jason, digging his grave: Long story short, this is my grave.......Want me to make you one too?

Tim: Silence is golden. Stephanie: Duct tape is silver.

Stephanie: Just took a personality test and got an A+.

Stephanie: *on the phone with Jason* I can’t talk right now, I’m doing hot girl shit. Jason: You’re pulling Oreos apart and saving off the frosting to make a mega Oreo, aren’t you. Stephanie: Maybe.

Store Worker: Would a “Dick” please come to the front desk? Dick, arriving at the desk: Hello, is there a problem? Store Worker, pointing to Tim and Jason: I believe they belong to you? Tim and Jason, simultaneously: We got lost. Dick: I didn’t even bring you guys here with me—

Tim, singing: I don’t want a lot for Christmas, there is just one thing I need— Damian: A family. Stephanie: A better love life. Jason: Mental stability. Dick: *clueless* Bagels?

Tim: I don't know, it's not my cup of tea. Damian: Well then whose is it? Tim, staring at a cup of tea: I don't know!

Bruce: If we lose, you’re out of the will. Jason: I was in the will?

Teacher: Your child was in a fight. Dick: Oh no, that’s terrible! Tim: Did they win?

#batkids #batfamily #tim drake #dick grayson #jason todd #damien wayne #bruce wayne #batman #incorrect quotes

[batfamilywonders]

Cassandra Cain is an angel of destruction and everybody's favorite

We all know she's everyone's favorite sibling right? Like the batkids are fighting over who's the second favorite and everyone else is confused why they can't be the first favorite and their just like "no that's Cass duh"

Like they don't even try to hide it. Bruce is just like "I don't have a favorite child unless you talking about Cass"

#batfamily #cassandra cain #batkids #batfam #bruce wayne #dick grayson #jason todd #tim drake #duke thomas #he's a batkid too #stephanie brown #damien wayne #he's just over it #but he agrees

[batfamilywonders]

Family time at the manor

[batfamilywonders]

Bruce is coparenting literally all this children.

He coparents Dick with Clark.

He coparents Jason and Damian with Talia

He coparents Tim with Lady Shiva

He coparents Steph with her literal mom

He coparents Barbara with her literal dad

He coparents Duke with Luke

Cass is like the only child that he is the sole custodian over lol.

From now on I absolutely headcanon that Bruce has shared custody with all of them but Cass and has to constantly remember pick up and drop off times for 7 different children across 6 coparents.

(Yes I choose to believe Bruce must pick up and drop off his adult children as well fight me)

[batfamilywonders]

Spooky

[batfamilywonders]

A daily occurrence

Jason, English nerd, Todd: USE OXFORD COMMAS, CUNT!

Tim, I dropped out of high school I’ll do whatever the fuck I want, Drake: No.

Dick, I speak like 17 languages fluently and still refuse to follow or learn the grammar rules in this one, Grayson: a what?

[batfamilywonders]

Tim Drake once said:

(Part 2)

#tim drake #someone get the kid to sleep

[batfamilywonders]

Adorableness

Nightwing and his brothers :]

#dick grayson #tim drake #jason todd #damian wayne #art reblog #cutness #batfamily #batfam