bookcrook

[bookcrook]

Absolutely Smitten

Dang. I really suck at keeping my word, don’t I? Whelp, for those who care, it’s here now! This is the first of I don’t know how many parts of “Six Foot Seven”, a new series/book thing I’ve been working on lately, requested by @i-cant-reach-im-too-short! The entirety of the series will be based on her real-life love story, as well as a playlist she gave me. First song was Absolutely Smitten by Dodie Clark. Hope you all enjoy! :)

“Teddy, come eat!” I call out from the kitchen, rattling his food around the large metal bowl. I wait a few minutes before yelling out his name again. “Teddy! Teddy Bear! C’mon! I have to leave soon and you need to eat.” Still no response.

And so begins my daily game of “Find the Giant Dog Hiding in my Tiny Apartment and Hope He Didn’t Run Off and Start the Zombie Apocalypse Without Me”. Such a great way to start my day…

I search behind couches and loveseats, inside closets and my bathroom only to find absolutely nothing. “Where, oh where has my Teddy gone, oh where, oh where could he be,” I sing softly under my breath, “In the closet he’s not, with me he’s… Also not, oh where, oh where could he be.” I continue with my non-rhyming song, raising my volume a little as I get closer and closer to my bedroom, the only other place he could be hiding. 

When I finally reach the doorway, I hear a playful bark come out from beneath my bed. I lower myself down to my knees, pull up the flashlight on my phone, and put my right cheek against the carpet. And, sure enough, I’m staring into the eyes of my slightly-obnoxious-but-still-very-lovable German Shepard. Who also just so happens to be stuck underneath the bed I just got. 

How he got there is beyond me and getting him out is going to be a serious victory on my end. As in, the kind of victory that deserves a pint and a half of double chocolate chip ice cream and a box of Cheez-Its after work. I try coaxing him out, seeing if he can squeeze himself just enough to remove himself from the tight spot. I bribe him with treats and squeaky toys, but he doesn’t move a muscle. So, I move on to what I knew was, ultimately, inevitable and would no doubt break all of my limbs off of my body.

Have you ever seen a 5’2 Asian girl trying to lift up a Queen size metal bed frame (with the mattress on top of it because she had just woken up half an hour ago and was still extremely tired, so she wasn’t smart enough to take it off) at least a foot off the ground completely and utterly by herself? I haven’t, but God damn it must be hilarious to look at. Actually doing it, though? Terrible. Absolutely horrid. The worst thing I’ve ever done in my 22 years of living. I mean, seriously. What is this thing made out of? Steel with a brick-filled mattress? Ridiculousness, I tell you!

Twenty minutes later, Teddy is roaming free around our brand new home while I’m lying on my bedroom floor exhausted and trying to find a will to live, which immediately comes with an alarm going off on my phone. Who would’ve thought I’d be so ecstatic to leave the comfort of my apartment for an entire day of work behind a desk only running on four hours of sleep. I force myself up and attempt to wipe as much dog hair off of my once clean clothes, abandoning hope soon after---there’s just no escaping it.

Collecting my things, I make my way toward the door, glancing quickly at the clock on my stove. Right on time, I think to myself. Waiting for the elevator was maddening. Come on... 

I mash the button impatiently, muttering curse words under my breath in frustration. I do the same when the doors finally slide open, revealing a small family of three with a tiny puppy on a leash. The slow background music only fueled my anxiety. 

Before the doors are even wide enough to accommodate an entire person, I slip through the tiny gap and race outside. I flatten my hair and my eyes immediately dart to the left, finding exactly what---or, more specifically, who---I was looking for walking toward me.

“Holy shit,” I murmur softly. How is it possible for one person to look so amazing just walking down the street? I soon realize I’m staring like a literal stalker, so before I’m caught, I turn and start walking swiftly in the same direction he’s going.

“Megan!” I hear a familiar, deep voice call from behind me, “Wait up!”

“Not a chance! I’d say you’ve got long enough legs to catch up to me,” I respond, an air of fake confidence in my voice. I slow down only slightly, despite my original statement, and, sure enough, Owen manages to reach me in a few long strides. 

“You’re difficult, you know that?” he laughs softly. I pray that no one saw my insides turn into literal jelly. What am I even supposed to do? My legs keep moving, but my mind is such a jumbled mush that it can’t comprehend anything around me. Which shouldn’t be happening. I’m a strong, independent woman---I don’t need him telling me if I’m pretty or not. I don’t.

So, as we walk, I begin concentrating on not concentrating on him. I quickly find that doing so is no use to me and caused me to not hear a single word Owen just spoke.

“You still there, shorty?” he teases, poking the top of my head.

“Hmm? Oh, yeah! Sorry. Just a little out of it, I guess.” Which was true, to be fair---I just decided it would be better to give him only half of the truth, for my heart’s sake. “What’d you say?”

Owen’s shoulder bumps into mine slightly, “I asked if you were eating in the office today. Thought I’d join you, but it looks as though you’re empty-handed.”

I stop in my tracks as he finishes speaking. “Idiot. Idiot, idiot, idiot,” I whisper to myself, hoping he doesn’t hear me. Because my luck is shit today, he does, and he seems to believe I was talking to him. 

“Excuse me?” Owen laughs nervously, surprised by my comment.

“No!” I exclaim a little too loudly, “Not you! I was talking to myself. Didn’t realize it until you mentioned it, but I forgot my food at home; it’s been a crazy morning, so I didn’t really think about grabbing to before I left.”

“What happened?”

“Oh, nothing important, really. Just stuff with my dog…” I wanted to add ‘and you’, but it seems a bit… Forward. Creepy. Stalker-ish. Take your pick. “Made some grilled chicken, noodles, and asparagus last night, too. Looks like it’s the vending machine for me today! Yay.”

“I mean, you don’t have to…” Owen looks away slightly as his sentence trails off.

I let out a bitter laugh. “Unless you’re suggesting that I turn back and risk being late just for a bag of mediocre food, I’m afraid I do.”

“Fair point, but no. ‘Tis not what I mean by that, miss,” he taunts, putting on one of the worst fake British accents I’ve ever heard. It’s something he does often. Why? No clue---not even an inkling of an idea, but it makes my heart melt every time.

“Then what do you have in mind?”

“We could always go out to lunch. There’s this cafe-diner-thing a block or two down from the office that serve the best grilled cheese known to man. If you haven’t tried don’t think I won’t drag you there myself,” Owen laughs. I can feel my eyes light up at the prospect of that. “It can be a group thing or something.”

My shoulders deflate just a tiny bit. I knew it wasn’t going to be a date---I’m not that stupid, but I hoped it could at least be just the two of us. It’s okay, I think to myself, taking in a deep breath, It doesn’t matter. We’re just friends. I force a smile before agreeing. “Oh, yeah. Totally! Sounds great. I can see if Laura and Chelsea want to come.”

We’d finally reached our destination when the conversation began and are now parting ways as it ends. “Awesome! See you then?”

“Definitely,” I say softly. Despite my disappointment, I’m able to produce a small---but very genuine---smile.

I’m practically floating as I make my way to my tiny desk and collapse onto my rolling chair. Slumped completely down (in a way that is terrible for my back), I let out a startled screech as a voice, seemingly coming from nowhere, scares me senseless.

“You’re late,” Chelsea teases in a sing-song tone from above me.

“...No I’m not.” I point at the large clock across the room.

“How…” she stumbles over words, “How do you know I didn’t come in early and change the time on all of the clocks because... Pranks?”

“Chels, you’re still wearing your coat.”

“It’s cold.”

“How about the fact that, one, your coffee is still steaming and you refuse to drink the tar that they have here. Two, you don’t wake up any earlier than you absolutely have to because you’re the definition of a night owl. Or, and I’d say this is my most convincing argument, three, you just don’t care enough to do that.” I sit up as I rest my case and begin pulling out my things for the day.

“You’re no fun,” Chelsea pouts, lowering herself behind the cork board wall that separates us.

Ignoring her very hurtful words, I continue the conversation as though nothing happened, “Has Laura come in yet?”

She scoots her chair over to your side as she answers, “I don’t think so. Or if she has I haven’t seen her. Why?”

I let out a groan and drop my head onto my desk, smashing the keys on my laptop. “Great. I needed her to help me make some copies because I have to meet with some clients later today and I have no clue how to work that… Thing.”

Chelsea opens her mouth, prepared to offer help, but I cut her off before she can, “Don’t. I love you, but she’s the only one who can tame the beast. I swear that if anyone looked at it the wrong way it would set the entire building on fire. Especially if it were either of us.”

“That’s fair,” she relinquishes. Suddenly, a tornado in human form tears through the office dropping a pile of things on Laura’s desk and races into a conference room, all in a matter of .04357 milliseconds.

“She’s here,” I chuckle slightly.

Twenty minutes later, Laura races back into the room and all but sprints to her desk. Thinking she might actually be done in there, I try to ask for her help. And, before I’m ever able to finish saying her name, she explains, “Can’t talk right now. Still doing the presentation; just forget some papers.”

Not long after that, Laura is finally free and snatches my papers from my desk, taking them to that dreaded machine and returning with 15 more than I need.

“Sorry about the extras,” she sighs as she drops them in my lap, “There was an error with the copier, but at least you have those if you need them.”

“Thank you!” I exclaim in a hushed voice, “You are a life saver, I swear!”

“Are you just now figuring that out?” Laura laughs.

I stick my tongue out at her before continuing my work.

I later feel a light tap on my shoulder. Turning around, I find Owen standing there, a large stack of papers in his hand. “Hey, what’s up?”

“I was just on my way to steal Anthony’s copier, but I thought I’d let you know that James, Benny, and the others can’t make it to lunch. Any luck with you?”

Before I can even consider speaking, Laura immediately turned the focus of the conversation to Anthony. “Wait. Wait just a second. Anthony’s been hiding a perfectly working copier from us?!”

“Guess so.” Owen gives a small shrug.

“What the hell!” she exclaims angrily.

To avoid the situation from escalating, I direct us back to our original topic. “I completely forgot to ask about lunch. Umm… Chels, Laura, either of you doing anything for lunch? I forgot my food this morning, so we thought it’d be a fun idea to get a little group together to go out.” My friends share a conspiratorial look when I’m finished. 

Chelsea’s the first to respond. “I really wish I could, but,” she pauses, “I have to run home and feed Pepper. Planned on just stopping by McDonald’s or something on my way back.”

“Neither can I,” Laura sighs with an ingenuine sadness in her voice, “Thomas wanted to take me out at that new sushi place across town. Sorry. Hope you guys have fun.”

A smile twitching on his lips, Owen turns back to me. “Just the two of us, then.”

“Yep,” I mumble quietly, my face growing warmer by the second.

“See you in a bit?” 

“Yep,” I repeat myself. His smile was now a grin as he left. Once he’s gone, I snap my eyes back to the two girls, glaring.

“What the fuck was that about?! First of all, you,” I point at Chelsea’s floating head, “Don’t a cat. Or a dog. Or any kind of pet! As for you, Laura. Don’t think I don’t know that Thomas won’t be home for another week. That’s all you’ve been talking about since he left!”

“It’s a week and three days,” she corrects me.

“Exactly my point!”

“Sorry, but we had to!” Chelsea cuts in, “You’ve had one of Cupid’s little arrows stuck in your ass since you started working here two years ago!”

“Not to mention the fact that this is probably the happiest we’ve seen you since your sister made you move out all because what’s-his-name told her to,” Laura adds.

I sigh, sinking into my chair for the second time today. “I know you guys are just trying to be nice. And, you’re right; I have been. He just makes me feel all kinds of weird inside. It’s like I can’t control anything when I’m around him, but that doesn’t mean I need your help with him.”

Laura scoffs and Chelsea rolls her eyes at my obvious lie. “Okay. Fine, I do. But don’t do it so obviously next time!”

My personal matchmakers lower themselves back down and I spin back to my computer. Just another hour to go…

                                                   🔹🔹🔹🔹

Lunch seemed to fly by quickly. As we waited on our food, conversations were had about simple, silly things like our favorite color, or how we drink our coffee. Others were about how work had been going and what movies we’d watched recently.

“Okay...” he pondered as he took a sip of his sweet tea, “What’s your favorite scary movie?” Shocked by the question, I couldn’t come up with an answer, so I gave him the most definite one that I could. Kind of. 

“Probably anything but the Chuckie movies,” I laughed.

The moment that sentence left my mouth, he immediately corrected me. “It’s Child’s Play, you know?”

“What?”

“The movies.”

“Whatever it’s called, it scarred me for life, and I want absolutely nothing to do with it.” I crossed my arms and shuddered at the thought of even possibly watching it again. I knew it was a terrible movie, but that didn’t change anything.

The stroll back was uneventful, but peaceful. And, now, as we wait out the last couple minutes before we had to return to our respective desks, Owen and I have found ourselves walking slowly back to mine, trying to make our time together stretch as long as possible. 

Suddenly, Owen grabs my arm gently, pulling me to a stop just a few feet short of my destination, and leans in. My breaths shorten and my body goes frigid as he does so.

His lips brush against my ear as he says softly, “Please don’t think I’m weird for doing this, but Laura and Chelsea have been eavesdropping since we were within listening distance. Anyway, I was wondering if you’d maybe like to go out to dinner tonight? Or this weekend? Or just, at any point in time that would conveniently work for you?”

I let out a chuckle---no, a giggle---at his awkwardness, but then I’m immediately hit by butterflies flooding my stomach as I take in his words. Once I finally come to my senses, my head is frantically bobbing up in down in complete and utter agreement. 

After we shared out little… Moment, I make my way to my desk. At this point, I’m not even trying to hide the giant grin on my face. Or my blushing cheeks. Or the fact that my heart is thudding in my chest with pure excitement and joy.

Chelsea and Laura don’t bother pretending that they didn’t see what just happened, and they were sure to let me know about that. 

“Did you see the way he was looking at you?” Laura gushes, “And that smile?! What’d he say?”

“What are you even talking about? It was nothing,” I roll my eyes at the rambunctious, gossip-hungry pair, but tell them anyway. “He just asked if I wanted to go out for dinner sometime.”

“Nothing?” Chelsea practically yells, “Are you kidding? There’s no way he doesn’t like you!”

I roll my eyes yet again, knowing not to get my hopes up, but I can’t help but wonder. I’d like to believe I’m not completely clueless; it’s obvious he just asked me on a date, but will it actually go anywhere? 

The days that followed were spent trying to coordinate Owen and I’s schedules on the way to work, and deciding where we could go. We also found ourselves around each other outside of work more than usual as we waited for the day to come.

One more week… That’s all I’ve gotta do; make it one more week and I’ll know for sure if this will work out.

[bookcrook]

BABYLONDUKE’S BIG 5SOS GIVEAWAY WOO!!

oh hi I just reached a huge follower goal, so?!!! I’m gonna do a giveaway in honor of that??????? I’ve always wanted to do something like this and since I’ve hit a goal and have a better job now, I can :’)

So, with that being said: Here’s the prizes you could possibly win woo!

• Any ONE (1) Item from SouthernThreadCraft on Etsy.

• Your choice of ONE (1) Button Pack; Luke , Ashton, Calum, Michael, or Group

• Your choice of ONE (1) Sketch T-shirt

• All of these stickers: Group, Calum, Luke, Ashton, and Michael

• Any ONE (1) 5SOS Polaroid Set in your choice of member or group.

I know it isn’t much and isn’t that exciting, but I really wanna do this so sorry if it’s lame.

Here are the rules:

MUST be following @babylonduke & @network5sos. (I will be checking!!)

MUST Reblog THIS post. You can reblog more than once. HOWEVER, Likes WILL NOT count for an entry, only as a bookmark.

Must be comfortable giving me your address if you were to win (I promise I’m not a crazy stalker or psycho)

This is open WORLDWIDE and will end July 28, 2019, so you have a while to enter :)

And that’s it!! Again, sorry if this is lame but I really want to give back and reach out, so if you want to enter, please don’t hesitate. :) alright that’s it and good luck!!

- kenzlie <3

[bookcrook]

BABYLONDUKE’S BIG 5SOS GIVEAWAY WOO!!

oh hi I just reached a huge follower goal, so?!!! I’m gonna do a giveaway in honor of that??????? I’ve always wanted to do something like this and since I’ve hit a goal and have a better job now, I can :’)

So, with that being said: Here’s the prizes you could possibly win woo!

• Any ONE (1) Item from SouthernThreadCraft on Etsy.

• Your choice of ONE (1) Button Pack; Luke , Ashton, Calum, Michael, or Group

• Your choice of ONE (1) Sketch T-shirt

• All of these stickers: Group, Calum, Luke, Ashton, and Michael

• Any ONE (1) 5SOS Polaroid Set in your choice of member or group.

I know it isn’t much and isn’t that exciting, but I really wanna do this so sorry if it’s lame.

Here are the rules:

MUST be following @babylonduke & @network5sos. (I will be checking!!)

MUST Reblog THIS post. You can reblog more than once. HOWEVER, Likes WILL NOT count for an entry, only as a bookmark.

Must be comfortable giving me your address if you were to win (I promise I’m not a crazy stalker or psycho)

This is open WORLDWIDE and will end July 28, 2019, so you have a while to enter :)

And that’s it!! Again, sorry if this is lame but I really want to give back and reach out, so if you want to enter, please don’t hesitate. :) alright that’s it and good luck!!

- kenzlie <3

[bookcrook]

BABYLONDUKE’S BIG 5SOS GIVEAWAY WOO!!

oh hi I just reached a huge follower goal, so?!!! I’m gonna do a giveaway in honor of that??????? I’ve always wanted to do something like this and since I’ve hit a goal and have a better job now, I can :’)

So, with that being said: Here’s the prizes you could possibly win woo!

• Any ONE (1) Item from SouthernThreadCraft on Etsy.

• Your choice of ONE (1) Button Pack; Luke , Ashton, Calum, Michael, or Group

• Your choice of ONE (1) Sketch T-shirt

• All of these stickers: Group, Calum, Luke, Ashton, and Michael

• Any ONE (1) 5SOS Polaroid Set in your choice of member or group.

I know it isn’t much and isn’t that exciting, but I really wanna do this so sorry if it’s lame.

Here are the rules:

MUST be following @babylonduke & @network5sos. (I will be checking!!)

MUST Reblog THIS post. You can reblog more than once. HOWEVER, Likes WILL NOT count for an entry, only as a bookmark.

Must be comfortable giving me your address if you were to win (I promise I’m not a crazy stalker or psycho)

This is open WORLDWIDE and will end July 28, 2019, so you have a while to enter :)

And that’s it!! Again, sorry if this is lame but I really want to give back and reach out, so if you want to enter, please don’t hesitate. :) alright that’s it and good luck!!

- kenzlie <3

[bookcrook]

BABYLONDUKE’S BIG 5SOS GIVEAWAY WOO!!

oh hi I just reached a huge follower goal, so?!!! I’m gonna do a giveaway in honor of that??????? I’ve always wanted to do something like this and since I’ve hit a goal and have a better job now, I can :’)

So, with that being said: Here’s the prizes you could possibly win woo!

• Any ONE (1) Item from SouthernThreadCraft on Etsy.

• Your choice of ONE (1) Button Pack; Luke , Ashton, Calum, Michael, or Group

• Your choice of ONE (1) Sketch T-shirt

• All of these stickers: Group, Calum, Luke, Ashton, and Michael

• Any ONE (1) 5SOS Polaroid Set in your choice of member or group.

I know it isn’t much and isn’t that exciting, but I really wanna do this so sorry if it’s lame.

Here are the rules:

MUST be following @babylonduke & @network5sos. (I will be checking!!)

MUST Reblog THIS post. You can reblog more than once. HOWEVER, Likes WILL NOT count for an entry, only as a bookmark.

Must be comfortable giving me your address if you were to win (I promise I’m not a crazy stalker or psycho)

This is open WORLDWIDE and will end July 28, 2019, so you have a while to enter :)

And that’s it!! Again, sorry if this is lame but I really want to give back and reach out, so if you want to enter, please don’t hesitate. :) alright that’s it and good luck!!

- kenzlie <3

[bookcrook]

BABYLONDUKE’S BIG 5SOS GIVEAWAY WOO!!

oh hi I just reached a huge follower goal, so?!!! I’m gonna do a giveaway in honor of that??????? I’ve always wanted to do something like this and since I’ve hit a goal and have a better job now, I can :’)

So, with that being said: Here’s the prizes you could possibly win woo!

• Any ONE (1) Item from SouthernThreadCraft on Etsy.

• Your choice of ONE (1) Button Pack; Luke , Ashton, Calum, Michael, or Group

• Your choice of ONE (1) Sketch T-shirt

• All of these stickers: Group, Calum, Luke, Ashton, and Michael

• Any ONE (1) 5SOS Polaroid Set in your choice of member or group.

I know it isn’t much and isn’t that exciting, but I really wanna do this so sorry if it’s lame.

Here are the rules:

MUST be following @babylonduke & @network5sos. (I will be checking!!)

MUST Reblog THIS post. You can reblog more than once. HOWEVER, Likes WILL NOT count for an entry, only as a bookmark.

Must be comfortable giving me your address if you were to win (I promise I’m not a crazy stalker or psycho)

This is open WORLDWIDE and will end July 28, 2019, so you have a while to enter :)

And that’s it!! Again, sorry if this is lame but I really want to give back and reach out, so if you want to enter, please don’t hesitate. :) alright that’s it and good luck!!

- kenzlie <3

[bookcrook]

BABYLONDUKE’S BIG 5SOS GIVEAWAY WOO!!

oh hi I just reached a huge follower goal, so?!!! I’m gonna do a giveaway in honor of that??????? I’ve always wanted to do something like this and since I’ve hit a goal and have a better job now, I can :’)

So, with that being said: Here’s the prizes you could possibly win woo!

• Any ONE (1) Item from SouthernThreadCraft on Etsy.

• Your choice of ONE (1) Button Pack; Luke , Ashton, Calum, Michael, or Group

• Your choice of ONE (1) Sketch T-shirt

• All of these stickers: Group, Calum, Luke, Ashton, and Michael

• Any ONE (1) 5SOS Polaroid Set in your choice of member or group.

I know it isn’t much and isn’t that exciting, but I really wanna do this so sorry if it’s lame.

Here are the rules:

MUST be following @babylonduke & @network5sos. (I will be checking!!)

MUST Reblog THIS post. You can reblog more than once. HOWEVER, Likes WILL NOT count for an entry, only as a bookmark.

Must be comfortable giving me your address if you were to win (I promise I’m not a crazy stalker or psycho)

This is open WORLDWIDE and will end July 28, 2019, so you have a while to enter :)

And that’s it!! Again, sorry if this is lame but I really want to give back and reach out, so if you want to enter, please don’t hesitate. :) alright that’s it and good luck!!

- kenzlie <3

[bookcrook]

BABYLONDUKE’S BIG 5SOS GIVEAWAY WOO!!

oh hi I just reached a huge follower goal, so?!!! I’m gonna do a giveaway in honor of that??????? I’ve always wanted to do something like this and since I’ve hit a goal and have a better job now, I can :’)

So, with that being said: Here’s the prizes you could possibly win woo!

• Any ONE (1) Item from SouthernThreadCraft on Etsy.

• Your choice of ONE (1) Button Pack; Luke , Ashton, Calum, Michael, or Group

• Your choice of ONE (1) Sketch T-shirt

• All of these stickers: Group, Calum, Luke, Ashton, and Michael

• Any ONE (1) 5SOS Polaroid Set in your choice of member or group.

I know it isn’t much and isn’t that exciting, but I really wanna do this so sorry if it’s lame.

Here are the rules:

MUST be following @babylonduke & @network5sos. (I will be checking!!)

MUST Reblog THIS post. You can reblog more than once. HOWEVER, Likes WILL NOT count for an entry, only as a bookmark.

Must be comfortable giving me your address if you were to win (I promise I’m not a crazy stalker or psycho)

This is open WORLDWIDE and will end July 28, 2019, so you have a while to enter :)

And that’s it!! Again, sorry if this is lame but I really want to give back and reach out, so if you want to enter, please don’t hesitate. :) alright that’s it and good luck!!

- kenzlie <3

[bookcrook]

Why (Pt. 2)

why did my chest hurt so much when i saw you with her?

why did i cry for hours on end when i saw those prom pictures?

i should be over you by now;

it’s been nearly eight years

and you’ve rejected me before,

ending my night in tears

but for whatever reason

i can’t seem to get it through my thick skull

that you’d never be with someone like me

you only go for people like her

someone’s who’s thin and pretty,

funny and kind

someone any normal person wouldn’t be able to keep off their mind

you stood back to back for a photo

your old baseball glove on one hand,

your other enveloping hers

as she held your bat over her shoulder

a smile on both of your faces that seemed so sure

i’m already sick to my stomach,

in bed with a terrible flu,

but i didn’t think it could get much worse

until i saw her with you

(so now i'm lying here, home alone

writing a crappy poem

called why part two

because i don't know what to do

about my unrequited feelings for you)

[bookcrook]

Lovestruck Playlists

for when you’re blue, down in the dumps, lovesick, drowning in unfulfilled desires etc.

when finally the last petal falls on ‘they love me’ and you know it in your mind, body, and soul.

when you’re sick of crying over them and just want to belt lyrics until your throat is hoarse 

for the first time or the first time in a long time under stars or sunshine in an achingly gentle and gradual manner as you slow dance in their arms.

when these songs crescendo you’ll imagine the tantalising moment right before the kiss, when the eyes flicker and the stare becomes full of wanting and lips beg to be touched. 

[bookcrook]

Let Go

Silly, old little dresser of mine

You are now gone

Which is weird to think

Because you’ve been in my parents’ room

Since I was so small

I would rummage through the drawers

Looking for dresses galore

They were twelve sizes too big

And thirty inches too long

But I would pretend I was in a fairy tale

Where I was convinced I belonged

I would barricade the little door with God knows what

And pretend the guards were after me

Because the prince lost his memory

And I had been caught

I snuck through the castle that was actually our trailer

With such innocent rigor

While my prince thought he was in love

With my non-existent evil step sister

When the curse was finally broken

My mom would call “It’s time for dinner”

So I would shove my gown in the dresser

And race to the kitchen

Receiving my plate of macaroni,

I grin up at her

She would smile back

With wistful bliss

Wishing that she could have many more moments

Just like this

I wouldn’t understand what was going on

So I’d carefully balance my food on the edge of our lifted table

That I was too short to reach

Hoping it wouldn’t fall into the DVD-filled abyss

As I took a floor-level seat

Eventually, I grew up

Just like most do

And that old dresser of ours transferred from room to room

I sit here and think about it

As it sits on the corner of our street

And it makes me want to cry

Seeing another part of my innocence slowly die

This all sounds stupid

I know,

I’m aware

But letting go of this dress is no simple affair

It was part of my childhood

And it hurts to think

That soon it’ll be gone

In the amount of time it takes to blink

I now have a new one

Sitting where the old one once stood

It’s much more “adult” than the other

Marking the soon-to-be end of my teenage-hood

Soon enough,

I’ll be out of on my own

Paying rent for my home

With no stuffed animals to hold

When nights feel empty and cold

I know, it’s inevitable

But I’m baffled by how quickly

This whole life thing happens

First we’re born

And then we grow

And we learn things the generation before us would never know

We face different problems

We see different things

But we all die in the end

That’s how the story goes

Before we can do that, though,

We have to learn how to let go

#writing #write #reading #read #poem #poems #poetry #poet #my poetry #spilled thoughts #spilled ink #just rambling #this is stupid #childhood #reminiscing #furniture #i mean #c'mon #this is an entire poem about my old dresser #did you really think i wouldn't tag furniture? #who do you think i am? #a monster? #no? #just stupid? #okay #yeah #that's fair

[bookcrook]

A Thing.

Okay, so… Here’s the thing. I know I haven’t posted in a while. I know that I’ve left requests in my inbox for months upon months, and I feel terrible. I really, truly, honestly do. But here’s the thing: I’ve lost my “spark” for posting my own stuff on all of my platforms, but especially this blog. Not only does it seem like anytime I put my whole heart into something, it flops, when I just throw something together in a couple of minutes, it gets the attention of tons of people, but also, since Ethan and Mika have announced their relationship, it feels wrong writing fan fiction about him, you know? They’re such an adorable couple who seem to love each other a heck of a whole lot, and Mika is the sweetest human on the planet. Even though she doesn’t know me, it feels like betraying a friend when I post stuff like that. Kind of like when I posted Sarcastic Super: It was—and still is—one of my favorite things I’ve posted on here, but I genuinely love Mark and Amy’s relationship, so writing it was difficult for me. In my eyes, when someone’s in a relationship in real life and is the subject of an imagine/head canon/fan fiction, the other person in the relationship can’t exist. But, that’s just me. And, maybe I should put in the same amount of effort into all of my writing, but there are certain things that don’t need it and/or I don’t always feel comfortable writing about.

So, I’m here to get the opinion of the few (of the many) who do seem to diligently read most of what I post, and care about what I have to say: If I were to start posting more of my original work on here (say, maybe a short thing or two a week) and possibly branch out with my fan fic choices, would anyone want to read that? So, instead of just Teamiplier (of which I would be posting mainly friendship-based content, unless I found an idea I really loved), it would be 5SOS (namely Calum and Ash—the others friends), Dan and Phil, Tom Holland, and some original stories that I’ve been working on (The Awkward Adventures of Evan and Abby, Still Holding On—a new one I just started recently, and various other short stories).

I know that not everyone is going to stop and take the time to read this of the 500-some followers I have, less than 5 will likely share their thoughts, but I would truly appreciate it, if you’re reading this for whatever reason, if you would. I take into account all of the advice I’m given on this blog, Wattpad, and from friends because I know it’ll help me grow as a writer.

Thanks so much, to any and all of you who decided to stick around to the very end of this thing. And, hopefully, I’ll see you soon! :)

Trin

[bookcrook]

Still Holding On (Pt. 1)

As very few of you have seen, I made a post last night about wanting to be able to share some of “originals”. I’ve reblogged stuff from my other account on this one when I would post, but I thought maybe I could share this one on here? Nobody has seen this story before—it’s not even finished. It’s entirely based off of a prompt list I found on here, in almost the exact same order. Thus far, I only have 5 parts done, so I’m going to post 1 chapter a week, on Sunday at 6:30 p.m. (U.S. Central Time), hopefully giving myself some time to get ahead of the game, and, eventually, leading to the completion of this story in what will hopefully be 70 weeks, according to the amount of prompts there are. I hope you enjoy! And, for those of you here who only want to stick around for some fan fic, don’t worry: I’ll still post stuff as much as possible. I’m actually planning on making and posting a list of people I’m willing to write for and to what extent I’ll write for them, so keep an eye out for that, if you plan on sending requests in! :)

“Em, look at me…” June whispers, putting her hand on my shoulder, “Just breathe, okay?”

Her voice goes in one ear and out the other as I stare in disbelief at Robin, tears welling up in my eyes. It’s only been a week. How has he already found someone? She tries to pull me into the closest clothing boutique to avoid any interaction with him, but I shake her hands off my shoulder, wipe my cheeks, straighten my spine, and move forward with a forced confidence—past my best friend, my ex-boyfriend, the pink-haired girl trailing behind him, and any indication that the presence of the last two affected me in the slightest.

I don’t look at him. I don’t look at her. Just keep walking and don’t look back, I think to myself. I continue for a few more feet before turning into a Starbucks, waiting for June to catch up. It’s crowded, but not so much that there aren’t any empty tables, so, when the bell on the door chimes and she walks in, I motion toward one in the corner of the room.

As we’re sitting down, she looks at me, concern etched across her face. “Are you—”

“I’m fine,” I say quickly, cutting off her question at its root whilst I pull the gloves off of my still-cold hands and put them on the table in front of me. “The fact that he’s moved on so quickly shouldn’t come as a surprise. Seems to be a strong suit of his; wasting no time to get another girlfriend after a long-term relationship. Wouldn’t you agree?”

My sardonic tone renders June speechless and I instantly regret it. “Sorry. Guess I’m not okay as I thought I was…”

“It’s alright,” she gives me a small smile. “Want me to leave you for a bit? We can always meet back up later or something, if you’re up for it.”

Knowing that’s exactly what I need, I sigh out a quiet, “Yeah, that’d be great. Thanks, Bug.” We exchange a short hug and then she’s gone.

[bookcrook]

GIVEAWAY TIME!

Hello everyone! I’m doing another giveaway! This is in honor of my new Etsy shop, MarsBarMerch!!

I will be picking TWO winners! (Yes two!!) and you’ll be able to choose whichever prize you’d like!

The pink glitter tumbler reads “VALNTYNE” in honor of our favorite drunk, Calum Hood 😂 and the shot glasses read “HI” and “HEY” in honor of 5sos’ OG brand.

The Rules:

- Must be following me!!

- MUST REBLOG!! Likes will not count as an entry!

- Please be at least 18 or have your parent’s permission to share your mailing address with me!!

- Contest is open WORLDWIDE!!!

- Checking out my shop is appreciated but not necessary.

Giveaway will end on January 28th and the winners will be contacted shortly after. Good luck!

[bookcrook]

go support my favorite person

HEY

Mika’s streaming for a bit! Go hangout with her and show her some love!!!

http://www.twitch.tv/sirenmika

[bookcrook]

Happy 22nd birthday to the delightful @crankgameplays!

You seem so much happier and sure of yourself lately. I’m so glad that you know and are teaching others that it’s normal to take necessary steps for your mental health. And you’ve come back that much stronger. You’ve already done some amazing things, and you’re gonna go on to do things that are more brilliant than even your current self can imagine. I just know it. I hope you never lose that fire inside of you. It’s contagious.

[bookcrook]

Happy birthday to my baby;

I love this baby boy to the infinity and beyond 💙

@crankgameplays