cheemscakecat

[cheemscakecat]

On Gravity Falls Spider-People:

I really want to know more about the species. What if they’re half human, and Darlene’s a monster in her own kind’s perspective too?

She looks like you took a jumping/velvet spider and made it scary, so maybe the rest of the arachnimorphs have cute features?

They had to go out if their way to make jumping spider features like the eyes scary and gross. The lumpiness of a velvet spider less-so.

Here’s some pictures of jumping spiders for reference:

Jumping spiders are good at curing arachnophobia because of their big goggle eyes, fluff, and compact bodies. I’d love to see their fur and fang colors on a less ugly, friendly arachnimorph.

Spiders also have tiny little hooves made of condensed fur, which is how they can climb the sides of things.

These are tarantula paws, which are bigger and easier to capture on film.

But you can kind of see the shape of a compact little hoof on this spider.

As for velvet spiders…

They are lumpy and chunky with smaller eyes, but give off the vibe of an old beady eyed plushie. And their abdomens remind me of those tomato pincushions.

I really, really want to see what friendly arachnimorphs look like in the Gravity Falls universe. Maybe Darlene’s rancid spider form is a result of eating humans, since that’s cannibalism. Because I imagine half humans wouldn’t be keen to eat their mates like their regular spider counterparts.

Could explain why she’s hiding out in a tourist trap and there’s no other spiders nearby?

Like, the human half is part of her body, but it doesn't look like it fits right. Her human skin can’t be made of spandex, but her spider head is so big that it feels like we’re watching someone free a pillow from being condensed in spandex.

Jumping spiders and Velvet spiders both have rounded square heads: I bet the transformation would feel and look better. More like taking off a mask or hood. Same for the body, especially if the legs aren’t so scary and pointy.

#Gravity Falls #gravity falls theory #jumping spiders #velvet spiders #spiders

[cheemscakecat]

Cinnamon flavor cat. A shiny pokemon IRL

#Cat #memes #funny #interesting

[cheemscakecat]

I think it would take a lot of alcohol to get Spy to this point, but this is interesting.

I imagine he’d be ranting about rich restaurant patrons in French. The kind that ask for caviar that doesn’t taste like fish. Or who ask for the most expensive dishes for the bragging rights, not the experience.

Or who treat the restaurant staff like hot garbage instead of people. Or who dress like clowns, but using gold and rare fabrics.

Spy is rich, but he’s the kind of rich person that savors what he has, and takes good care of his belongings. Classless, arrogant rich people annoy him. Especially the ones who tour France on the regular like it’s a trip to the mall.

Sorry to throw this tf2 HC at ya;

You know how hilarious it would be for Demo or just any other Merc to just casually carry a black out drunk Spy back home and Spy's just saying the most stupidest of things, like stuff Scout would say? (Ex: "last night I dreamt I was a bottle of ketchup and you were mustard... Which is weird because you're usually mayonnaise in my dreams, why you suppose that is?")

Reading this Smiling and kicking my feet

I love spydad headcanons especially the ones where spy is just a older fancier French version of scout

#tf2 #tf2 headcanons #tf2 spy #dadspy

[cheemscakecat]

What that mustache guy the Blendin prototype?

I never thought I'd say this but here it is!!

The long lost Gravity Falls "Next Time On," reel has FINALLY been found!

This right here is what made this show happen and the reason why every new Disney cartoon also has a next time on reel. GF's last big lost media hunt is over!

Alex Hirsch said that he was okay if this ever was to leak. So, if this goes down, blame Disney!!

#gravity falls #Gravity Falls Pilot

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Collage?

#Cats #memes #pretty weird lookin cat 10/10 tho

[cheemscakecat]

The other two cats are like his parents who don’t understand technology or their child’s job. IDK how I got that from the back of their heads, but that’s what I see.

#funny #Cats #wholesome #they are proud

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That’s an American Curl. They goofy.

#Cats #Memes #cat identification

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Rare male calico Kibby.

#Cats #funny #interesting

[cheemscakecat]

He required the Ranch Doritos. Give him one.

#cat #cute #Memes #Funny

[cheemscakecat]

Missing in Action 10

Chapter 10: Splitting Up

The hunt for Merasmus begins, with Scout and Spy left to hold down the base. They’ll be fine… right?

TW: Heavy angst. Spy is not in fact okay.

Ms Pauling briefed the team on a Merasmus lead. She said he mighta been training up in the Appalachian mountains to ruin Soldier and Zhanna’s wedding. She told Scout and Spy to stay at base, so someone could guard it while the others went after him.

Jeremy was glad that Soldier and Pyro weren’t staying at base; he’da been left to baby sit them alone, with Spy not feeling right and being new. Then again, this was a real threat to Soldier, so he wouldn’t have stayed put at base anyway. It looked like he was really taking this seriously, as far as Scout could tell.

Spy looked stiff for the whole briefing. Angry even. But Scout figured he was just on edge because of last night’s nightmare.

—————————

Heavy was glad that Pauling didn't waste any time. Zhanna was new to America and the most naive of his sisters. He could only hope that her training was real and useful to her.

He didn’t like her marrying Solider, but had to respect the man for wanting to protect her. And for trusting in her strength as well. Soldier was impatient to start the mission one he heard the briefing.

Heavy also wanted to avenge Spy, not just his sister. If that curse had not hit Spy, he may have already fixed things with Scout. At the least, the team boy would not have been so sleepless and ill with bottled tears.

It was time for answers. They packed up swiftly and got ready for one last stop on the way.

—————————

Spy and Scout were in no condition to go on this hunt, even if they could’a known the truth. Engineer couldn’t bear to leave Pyro in their care with everything goin on. He knew that if Pyro had to withhold fire, he’d be a much bigger threat to Merasmus when he was finally found. And Soldier was already ruthlessly ready.

The plan was to look for Merasmus and take any help or clues from the other magic users. Once they found their evil old wizard, they’d trap him for Pauling so she could question him.

They had Soldier call up Zhanna and the Holy Wizards to assist. Bein Merasmus’ Halloween playthings, they needed all the magical assistance they could get.

—————————-

Demoman and Sniper talked to Pauling in the ship. Sniper had also noticed Spy acting strange around her, and wondered if it was connected to that terrible nightmare. “The lad looked fierce the first time, but I was the only one who saw. Thought it was the scrumpy playin tricks on me eye.”

“He was like that at today’s briefing too. Not sure if theah’s something he hated Helen for, or if it’s just the nightmare problem.” They had to be vague with Soldier, Pyro, and Zhanna in the ship.

“I thought he sounded off, but you know how much I overthink. I just assumed it was me overthinking last time.” Pauling said. “The sooner we get Merasmus locked eway, the better. So we can puzzle out what to do.” “I agree. You guys have a battle put on hold until you get back, but after that we should investigate.”

——————————-

Medic kept a wide expanse between himself and the wizards. He wasn’t sure if they could sense his dealings with the Devil, but the way they were talking about the dark arts, he didn’t need them finding out. They focused on healing and growth spells, like planting new forests and healing herbs.

It was a bit surprising that they got along with Soldier so well, but nobody was complaining. They said that the Appalachians were enchanted to allow wizards to train and experiment without interruption. The practice was put into place during an uneasy peace between holy and dark magic users.

It was better to bring them along and risk his deal getting screwed up, than to get cursed or lost in the enchanted mountains. Soldier’s strange habit of attracting magic was coming in handy for once.

————————-

Heavy was surprised that the white wizards trusted Soldier to wander in the woods; when they got out of the ship, none of the magic users took issue with Soldier’s erratic behavior. Here he seemed to move with unexpected smoothness, as if he knew the land well.

Zhanna had been training under these men, so perhaps Soldier had learned how to act through her. Though Heavy didn’t notice too much difference in how the man was acting now. Pyro was being closely watched now that it was established he was not permitted to set the forest ablaze. Doktor was acting strange, like he was uncomfortable with the wizards being there.

The magic allowed them to travel undisturbed through wizard trails, hidden from that one BLU Scout and the other local people. Strange plants and animals were all around them, many of them being pleasant smelling and beautiful. Zhanna said she had been growing some of these flowers and vines for the wedding, and the wizards were making new hybrid plants for the desert.

The wizard with two points in his beard explained that the dark faction was very likely to kill unsuspecting locals for venturing too close to their lairs. The hidden trail magic and enchanted eerie feeling in this place was created by the light faction, to remove any excuse for such murders. It was accepted by the evil wizards for providing them privacy when they didn’t want to see non-magicians.

It also meant that they must be careful not to attack random creatures, in case they belonged to someone bloodthirsty. Only if they were attacked first, and the wizard magic failed them. Heavy was worried that Soldier would not follow that rule, but he was surprisingly unbothered by the magic birds and little creatures. He didn’t lash out to attack like anyone thought he would.

————————

Soldier jumped back as something huge ran across the path, growling. It was a giant raccoon, the size of an elephant. It looked like it was going to attack, but stopped. Doe swore he’d seen this one before. No, that didn’t-

“Well, well, well. If it isn’t the newly-weds.” Merasmus. Merasmus could bring things back to life. But Lieutenant bites and the other raccoons didn’t leave behind bodies, how could he have done this?

“Thought it was a shame to waste these savage little animals after you dodged my magic.” The wizard smirked. “Attack if you wish, it’ll only hurt them and you.” *******! He was using Soldier’s friends as a meat-shield! Doe couldn’t fight his raccoons like the other monsters, and they would not attack him. He didn’t know how to get back at Merasmus this time.

He stared out at the other wizards, looking bored and annoyed. “Stay out of this, goody-goodies. This man killed my innocent roommate and destroyed my lair many times. You’re on the wrong side.”

Soldier knew the other mercenaries weren't really on his side right now, but they cared about Zhanna. Everyone knew he was dumb, they just assumed he was too dumb to see how they looked at him. It had always been like that, with other kids, and teachers, and orphanage people. He didn’t know what the white wizards would do if they agreed with Merasmus. For once, he didn’t yell anything.

“Did you ever explain your rules?” Spice wizard asked. Merasmus looked annoyed. “What was there to explain? We were in a lair with normal human furniture, it’s not like I asked him to do magic. Any person should have had common sense-“ The white wizards launched magic at the raccoons that turned them back to normal. Lieutenant Bites jumped on Doe and bit him, his way of saying hello.

“I missed you too, Bites.” He choked out. The other raccoons abandoned Merasmus too, sitting next to the wizards and mercenaries without trouble. “You’ve got to be kidding me! Do you know what he’s like?!”

“Yes”. Said the tea wizard with the two tailed beard. “And I also know he’s a feral child Merasmus. And you know that common sense is not the same to them.” Zhanna stepped forward. “Did he kill Tom Jones before you threatened to kill everyone he loves?” Merasmus grumbled. “No..” Zhanna shrugged. “Then it vas returning favor, I think.”

“I forgot about that!” Demoman said. Soldier turned to look, and the whole team seemed just as surprised as Demo. “Come to think of it, yeah! Ye the one who be cursin us all each Halloween. Been doin that fer far longer than ye lived with Jones.”

It was times like this that Doe remembered Zhanna really understood him. Sometimes he worried that she would get fed up with him like everyone else, but right now he knew she wouldn’t. And the wizards didn’t get fed up with him, and the other men were trying to understand. Things were not so bad.

“Merasmus.” The old wizard general growled. “Did you target this man’s team over a death, or over property damage?”

————————

The necromancer started to stutter, sensing that the Holy wizards had turned against him. Medic knew they had to be stronger than him, in numbers alone. They joined hands with each other and Heavy’s sister, and started chanting.

The oldest wizard with the longest beard continued to talk. “Merasmus. By order of the Holy Herbologists, thou art sealed in these mountains forever! No more will you torment non-wizards in this or any other place with thy magic.” Some kind of glowing lock appeared on the necromancer, before disappearing.

“What?! What is the meaning of this, high master?” The wizard with the goatee and the sass piped up. “Well, since you decided to live in the desert amongst non-magicians, you caused conflict with this Soldier and his friends. This place is free to both Holy and Evil wizards to separate from the normal folk of this world, but you didn’t use it. It stands to reason that your travel privileges should be taken.”

Another wizard turned to everyone. “Even if he goes into the local towns, he’s blocked from using magic on the people there. So don’t worry, the civilians are safe too.”

—————————-

“Will he be able to wander very far?” Engineer asked. They would need to come back to get more answers if he wasn’t mistaken. “No, he’s locked into a certain acreage so we can monitor things. Why, is something else going on?”

Engineer whispered an explanation, apologizing for the secrecy before. They couldn’t tell all of the teammates.

“A dark de-aging spell and cruel nightmare… I’ve heard of this spell. In animals, it is not so difficult to undo, but when a human is cursed, only going through their life’s memories in order can reverse it. Your teammate needs to look through his old things, pictures, letters, anything like that.” Engineer frowned, and so did Heavy, who was listening too.

”Zhis Spy on our team, he is very private. And some of that is our fault for teasing him.” Engineer wasn’t surprised that Heavy regretted that camera prank. He wouldn’t be surprised if Medic did too. “Ve do not know vhere his things are, to help him.”

Soldier and Zhanna were chatting with each other romantically and noticed them all huddled to speak privately. “What’s going on?” “Wedding surprises.” They said in unison. That was enough to send the lovebirds on their merry way, thankfully. “I’m sorry, without something to remind him of his life in order, there’s no way to undo this curse. Many have looked for another cure, but it doesn’t exist.”

————————

Back in the ship on the way home, Soldier, Zhanna and Pyro had fallen asleep. Pyro had been allowed to burn something to calm his nerves of course. Heavy asked the wizards what a feral child was.

The answer surprised him. Apparently through Soldier and Zhanna, the wizards had learned that he was raised by feral raccoons. They said that he was not permitted to join the American military because of this feral nature.

“Some of these lost children are unable to adjust to civilization. They were taught the common sense of wild creatures in nature, human common sense doesn’t pair well with it.” The elder wizard explained. “But in any case, Holy wizards often meet this children, at a higher rate than normal humans. Merasmus is more than aware of the signs that someone is a feral child, but in all these years he did not report it. He chose revenge instead.”

Heavy was glad to know this, before he became even more disapproving of the marriage. They had all wondered why the soldier was so strange, and now they knew. They could get help from these wizards to make the base understandable to him, and Zhanna thankfully already knew. Things were finally starting to look up.

——————————

Scout really needed to talk to the other teammates in private. He wished they were back, Spy needed their help bad.

It started out weird but harmless enough. Spy looked off at nothing, wandering the halls and staring out windows for no reason. Jeremy wasn’t good at talkin about feelings, and he didn’t know what to say about Spy’s nightmare from the night before. But after a whole day of Spy acting really weird, he decided to check up on him.

Nobody was here to make fun of him for being weak, and nobody would have anyway. He was starting to wonder how much his brothers had ****ed up his brain, for him to be hesitatin in the empty base.

He visited new Spy in the smoking room that night. He was just sitting there, looking into the fire. His revolver was on the side table, but the barrel was open and clearly emptied of bullets. Spy was smoking a cigarette and holding a glass of wine. When he heard the door and Scout’s footsteps, he lifted the glass and looked in the reflection on it.

“Oh, hello. I was not expecting you.” Spy said, turning suddenly. This was wrong. Nobody else was there, he shouldn’t have been checking visitors with a wine glass either way. “Heh. Whaddya mean? We’re the only ones here right now…” There was something wrong in Spy’s eyes, but he couldn’t place it. Jeremy was getting another nasty gut feelin.

“You are a nice person, desert Scout.” He nodded once, still feeling uneasy. “Please close the door.” Jeremy did and looked around. “What’s wrong? Did a BLU Spy get in?” “No. Not BLU. Something worse, but I cannot say.”

“Spy, what’s goin on?” Jeremy asked. Spy went real quiet for a minute, too quiet. When he did look at him, he didn’t look right. “I’m going to die soon. That helicopter, it was no accident.” The room was warm from the fire, but Scout froze and felt a chill run down his spine. He hurried and sat down in a chair across from Spy.

“Someone’s after you? Who?” New Spy shook his head. “I cannot tell you.” “Well, I can’t sit back and ignore this. Who?” Spy stared into his drink, chugged it, and tried to shrug. “I had a false identity in Canada. Secret agent, their CIA. I came to RED when they got close to finding me out, to tracking me.” He stared at the fire.

“It seems they’ve found me.” Scout wasn’t the smartest, but that explanation was too simple, and too fast. Spy didn’t hesitate like when he talked about his kid. There had to be more to it than that. “What can I do to help?” “Let it happen. Don’t get involved, or you’ll be in danger too.”

“Hell no! Listen Spy- nobody in their right mind would cross Admin like that, and the others..” The others weren’t there. Spy thought he was getting silenced tonight. Jeremy didn’t know much about Canada, but he sure hadn’t heard of a Mob up there. He didn’t like this one bit.

“Admin… would prefer not to get involved. No use losing good mercenaries like you over me. So please…” Spy looked at him. “You must not try to stop it. This is why I did not want to say, I knew you’d want to.”

“I can’t do nothing, Spy. Listen, why don’t we just go to the camera room with some food and lock the door? Bring our guns, keep watch on the base… We can wait this out until the others get back and it’s too hard to target you again.” Spy didn’t look hopeful at all.

“When I.. When I die.” He pulled out a sealed envelope. “Give this to the Administrator. But don’t read it yourself, she wouldn’t like that.” Scout thankfully had two words to try to read in the fire-light. Divorce Papers.

“My ex… I want her to get my money when I’m gone. And I want Admin know that she was uninvolved in this matter, so she can tell the Canadians to stop at me.” He put his hand on Jeremy’s shoulder. “Remember, whatever happens, my ex didn’t know anything.”

Scout stayed posted outside the smoking room all night. He didn’t know whether Spy was having another episode, or if this was real. And he wasn’t gonna take chances. The others had to know when they got back, the minute he could pull them aside and explain. This wasn’t right whether it was real or not.

Spy had been hesitant to talk about his kid. His ex had a two year old. They were in danger, and Jeremy was smart enough to know it. He didn’t believe that Canada story, Spy musta gotten in trouble with the mob or somethin. Somebody who was actually bloodthirsty, either way.

Scout had never heard of the mob infiltrating the Gravel War. The old Admin was too scary even for them. But Pauling was in charge now… they might have gotten the idea that it would fly with her in charge. Maybe Spy was a basket case, but somehow, Jeremy doubted it.

All he knew was that something was wrong, and the others needed to get back already.

#tf2 #dadspy #tf2 spy #tf2 scout #sad lad hours #angst fanfic

[cheemscakecat]

Bill was like “oop, he’s getting too influenced by having contact with a normal person. Gotta keep Ford’s headspace messed up enough to listen to me, after all.”

If it makes you feel any better, Bill is really stupid when it comes to having portals built. There’s some info on other victims of his in the same dimension who failed to make portals for him; even after hundreds of billions of years of experience.

Let’s be real, Bill. Ancient Egypt and Native America were advanced, but not “viable portal” advanced. Neither was Colonial America, but you duped George Washington anyway.

Bill should have waited and just bothered Kubrick in the first place.. except the plan hinged on getting NASA to support portal research. Bill had a little nightmare hissy fit on Kubrick like it was his fault they said no. Okay toddler. Maybe pay attention to the fact that they couldn’t get to the moon to outdo the Soviets? So they wouldn’t see portals as feasible?

Ford Pines was the literal perfect candidate for a portal building puppet. He was already interested in theoretical science, he had twelve PHDs, he had self esteem issues, and he had -oh I don’t know- alien tech advanced enough for this!

Bill gasses himself up like he’s all knowing, but at the end of the day, he failed four times to get a portal built. And, even with Ford being the best candidate in every way, Bill still couldn’t instruct him on how to build the thing. Bill needed Fiddleford because he’s a lousy teacher. Even with all his years of experience.

It was literally Bill’s own incompetence that put him in a position where he had to risk Ford getting less malleable. If he was a decent portal maker, he would have been able to instruct Ford and keep him isolated in the woods. But no, he needed a human smarter than him to come help.

Bill is canonically a trillion years old and infamous in the multiverse for destroying dimensions. If anyone should be experienced and intelligent enough to instruct Ford in portal building, it’s him. But. He. FAILED!

Not only is Bill pretending to be great at reading the future, resulting in his death; he’s also not as smart as he thinks he is. Fiddleford and Ford are probably smarter than him, not going to lie.

…. Good.

skimming thru journal 3 again and feeling completely deranged about how when fiddleford is upset after the gremloblin thing ford immediately halts progress on the project for a while to do things he thinks will help fiddleford feel better and goes out of his way to try to teach him some of his own coping mechanisms for managing stress etc and then later on when fiddleford is in very bad shape again after the shapeshifter thing all ford really says about it is that they just need to focus on completing the portal and then everything will be fine and that Bill keeps saying that hes not committed enough to the project and Bill keeps saying progress would be faster if he would sleep less etc etc etc bro i hate it here

#gravity falls #character analysis #gravity falls theory #Bill Cipher #journal 3 #Stinky triangle man. Incompetent

[cheemscakecat]

The color in this image is enough to make a sad beige mom drop dead from 5 miles away.

#60s fashion #clothes #I’m so tired of sad beige bro

[cheemscakecat]

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Assuming this is Red Team:

Spy: “Okay gentlemen, let’s do everyone’s dying wish. We can do this.”

Engineer: Bold of you to assume that we dying in 3 days, but go off.

#tf2 #tf2 engineer #tf2 spy #Memes #tf2 memes #Youtube

[cheemscakecat]

Exactly. And I’d argue that Stan could have excelled in wood-working or shop class if he didn’t believe he was stupid. He didn’t think he could be anything else but the dumb twin.

Ford was able to believe he could improve himself, so he got ripped. If you notice, Stan committed less serious crimes as he got older, but it was still a constant. He probably figured it was all he was good at.

On that depressing note, Stan, Ford and Dipper all suffer from low self esteem and it comes out in their behavior. Dipper has an unhealthy obsession with weirdness, and gets angry and snarky a lot. Stan is gruff and harsh, is set in his bad behavior, and copes with self depreciating humor. Ford is closed off and proud, wants to redeem himself by fixing all of his mistakes, and believes too much in the power of intelligence.

But Mabel? Mabel has too much self esteem for her own good. Ford’s pride and ego comes from insecurities about being a freak and one of Bill’s puppets. Mabel is usually able to convince herself that she’s the one in the right, and it makes her dismissive of other people’s concerns.

Mabel isn’t used to feeling like things may not work out for her in the end, which is why she freaks out about high school and Dipper leaving. Dipper is used to being put down, made fun of, and near constant anxiety; she isn’t, and has no idea how emotionally resilient he is compared to her. Or how much he really wants to stay with Ford.

So even though none of them are the most emotionally smart, Mabel might be the most stunted in that regard because Dipper handles their stressors and she just believes it will work out. The issue is that she thinks she’s the most emotionally smart person in her own life.

That’s why she thought keeping the clones was okay and dismissed her friends. That’s why she thought messing with love potion was okay. That’s why she thought forcing Stan to get over his fear of heights was okay.

It’s also part of why she gave zero thought towards Dipper’s feelings when she introduced him to Dippy Fresh. “Yeah, I made a yes-man replacement of you who acts nothing like you.” Granted, Bill wants her to be as full of herself as he is towards everyone, so part of the disrespect was on him. But her self assured thought that she’s in the right is something that was seen before weirdmaggedon.

My ideal character development for her would be dealing with Dipper acting like her for a change, and realizing how being humble is a virtue. I made a post explaining how the Book of Bill is something Dipper would read, and I can’t help but wonder if that’s the direction we’re headed in.

The Pines are all smart in their own way. There’s no “dumb twin”.

Stan is street smart.

Ford is book smart.

Dipper is logic smart.

Mabel is creative smart.

#gravity falls #character analysis #Mabel pines #pines twins #Dipper ‘bout to crack open Bill’s grimoire. Ya’ll watch

[cheemscakecat]

People: Trying to shop at Walmart

Random child:

Source

#fox #Memes #Bruh why can we always hear them from half across the store?

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They don’t have necks, but it looks like Stan poked him in the side of his. Ford poked him in the rib instead, lol.

BOOP!

*30 years later*

BOOP BACK!

#gravity falls #Pines twins #meme