curiouslove

[curiouslove]

There was always something about you -

An independence that kept you distant. 

A cool fog that kept you shrouded.

But I knew it was just a mask.

Over the years, you’ve let me know you.

You’ve given more and more pieces of the puzzle,

and I am grateful for the stories of your hardships.

But I never needed you to tell me,

I could see it written on your face the day I met you.

The day your shoulder could have induced hypothermia. 

I waited first warily, then eagerly, and now patiently.

I know I will learn all the facts in time,

but for now I’m content being there when you need.

The pieces of my life make more sense after you rearrange them. 

And while life stole some pieces from you, 

You still manage to survive and push through. 

It’s difficult. It’s required some reconfiguration. 

But I admire your resiliency and your drive. 

You only give out small pieces of your love

with the anticipation that if you lose one or two,

You won’t regret or miss them.

But to the select few who do get more,

You cherish all of them including their thorns. 

You love stronger, fall harder and care more

than anyone else in my life. And I love you for that. 

Every time life pushes you down, I worry. 

Because how could I make it without you?

But I’m so sorry... because you don’t need my worry,

You prove time and time and time again

that you’re a fighter, my soul mate, and my friend. 

[curiouslove]

You know, I used to cling to the constants in this world

But I don’t even know what they are anymore.

Everything is new and it’s supposed to be exciting.

Everyone said that these years would be the best of my life.

But I sure hope they were wrong because if this is the best?

I think I’ll pass on the rest.

#poetry #burnout #disappointment #sad #idk anymore #struggle

[curiouslove]

Sometimes my passion outruns my skill.

It cannot be sketched or written or painted.

I feel it burning in my soul and it cannot be tamed.

It’s more than writer’s block, it’s a creator’s cage. 

[curiouslove]

Burnout

The weight on my shoulders suffocates my ever fading hope.

It crushes any scrap of fight I had left.

The once hard earth turns to soft dust beneath my feet.

Gravity pulls me down and my bones give way.

I try to focus on how far I’ve travelled.

How much time and effort I’ve given.

And I try.

I try to look over my shoulder at the beaten path behind me

But all I can see is the never ending trail in front of me.

I lay my head down to rest but the empty void does nothing to replenish the emptiness inside.

I am starting to think this is just a cruel joke.

There is no finish line. There is no light at the end of the tunnel.

How many times can I say “just get to the end”

Because there is no end. 

This isn’t living, 

This is suffering, 

And I am sick of suffering in order to live someday.

#burnout #life sucks #hard times #keep fighting #keep trying

[curiouslove]

You run rampant through my thoughts,

in what capacity I am still unsure.

We laugh and talk as if not fraught

with distance and difficulty. 

With our souls built on similar foundations:

it would be easy to settle into your comfort.

But you’re still so far away,

And I said I wouldn’t agree to this again.

So why does your voice make me reconsider?

[curiouslove]

The firm ball of stress energy in my stomach

is only fed further by the fictional worlds I read about.

Longing, desire, wistfulness and anger fuel my creative rage.

The emotions stirred in me roil in my soul. 

Expanding and churning, the positive pressure builds

Seeking release, they threaten to lash out or spiral me down.

Writing and art become the lance 

as words and art spill from my hands, 

What I lack in talent i fuel with passion. 

[curiouslove]

You were more than just a fling

You were my best friend.

Losing you didn’t just break my heart, it bruised my soul. 

I wish I could know if I cross your mind as often as you cross mine

But I think the answer would only hurt me more. 

I know you’ve found someone else.

With your teasing remarks and your tender heart, 

who could help but swoon?

I pray you treat her better.

I pray you truly love her.

Maybe then you will not leave her.

Because there isn’t a soul upon who I would wish this misery.

#poetry

[curiouslove]

There are nights, when I sit down to write, and emotion pours out of me to rescue my sanity. 

But then there are days, when I sit down and pray, that this numb feeling inside is not my ossified mind. 

[curiouslove]

Invisible ties

Your voice is just as charming

Your humour is just as light

Your intelligence is just as impressive

Yet I find my mind wandering to his memory.

I can still see the colour of his eyes

I can still feel his lips on mine

I can still hear his voice in my ear

Because even though he is not mine,

And I want to be yours,

I’m still his.

#poetry #move on #moving on #love

[curiouslove]

Dangerous

“What did you just say to me?” He says pointedly. I should have read his tone and been careful in my response but my inner brat has not been tamed in awhile and she spits out those fire stoking words again: “As if you care!” He pauses a minute with a small smile playing on his lips but he says nothing. The silence is heavy and dripping with sinister intent. I feel my fire ebb and wane and leave nothing but a quiet fidgety little girl in her place. He takes a step toward me and I fight the urge to back away. He raises his hand to my face and gently brushes his thumb over my lips. Then he firmly grabs my jaw and makes me look him straight in the eye. “It seems someone needs reminding of their place. I understand I have been a bit neglectful lately but you are not too speak to me that way, understood?” I nod my head. “Tell me you understand” he tuts. “I understand sir” I weakly reply. He releases his grip on my jaw and traces his fingertips along my soft black velvet choker. “Remember little one, If I didn’t care, I wouldn’t have marked you as my own.” 

#sir #brat #writing #little one #daddy

[curiouslove]

Cruel Thing

Oh you are a cruel thing,

Sneaking around in the shadows of my mind.

Lingering in every other thought,

How could I possibly resist your words so kind.

Oh it was so wrong, and I tried to stay strong.

But the battle was lost and I opened the door.

But rather than welcome you in, as you swore,

You retreated from me like a feline grown bored.

#feelings #breakup #trust #sad thoughts #lost #fuckboy #silvertongue #writing #poetry