demisexual-kingdom

[demisexual-kingdom]

So i think i COULD be demiromantic because ive been talking to a bunch of people and some of them will be exactly my type no red flags but i wont experience any romantic attraction but i’ll feel like i should so i like fake it to myself??? I dont know im so sorry if any if this is offensive in any way im so so confused

Hi anon, if you don't feel any attraction yet, faking it only hurts you and the other person/prople. Take things slowly, if stuff happens it happens, if it doesnt', attraction does not work the same for you as it does for some other people, and that's fine, you'll just have to experiment and keep making new experiences until you have an idea of how it works for you.

Take care, and feel free to drop another ask if you have any further questions.

#ask #anon #answer #answered #demiromantic #questioning

[demisexual-kingdom]

I just want to take a moment to appreciate the beauty that is the acespec flag

It so aesthetically pleasing!!! The color palette is just gorgeous, and I’m weak for pinks and purples.

Also the arospec flag?!!

The greens and greenish-blues are just so calming and peaceful. It makes my hearts so happy!

[demisexual-kingdom]

Hello, I'm sorry to bother but I have a mini rant DX so I have a friend and they keep saying I have high expectations and I'm picky; then they say "in this generation everyone is like that" when I try to explain to them that for me as a demisexual person it's not about being picky or anything similar....

I explained it to them a few times but don't know what else to do now...(If you have any advice on how I should explain to them I would appreciate it)

Hello anon! Your friend doesn't seem respectful of your capability to judge and evaluate your own approaches to life and feelings, and that's not great. You know yourself best, and they don't seem like they want to see that truth.

Unfortunately since you already tried multiple ways to explain your experiences to them, there's not much else to do if they're not willing to reevaluate their position, but I hope they get it in the future, it's frustrating when friends behave like that.

Wish you best of luck anon, the inbox is always open if you want to stop by

#ask #anon #answer #answered

[demisexual-kingdom]

Long-tailed tit/stjärtmes. Värmland, Sweden (March 14, 2021).

[demisexual-kingdom]

"that's not very aromantic of you" "that's not very asexual of you" WELL that's not very minding your own business of you

[demisexual-kingdom]

calling all gray aces!

we are getting really close to 1000 followers here, and i wanted to do something cool to celebrate.

i thought about it for a long time - i thought about what i wanted this blog to be and what it means to me. and in the end i decided to make you do most of the work! hahha ok no. i decided it would make sense to get you to come together and support each other and all that sentimental stuff!

so here is what i'm asking of you:

think of something nice you would like to say to other gray aces and say it!

guidelines:

it can be just one sentence or several paragraphs

it can be general and simple ("you're great", "stay strong") or specific and in-depth ("this niche experience does not make you weird", " this particular situation is something i've been through too"). or both!

bonus points for originality*

you can mention other identities but pls keep it gray ace/acespec-focused

not mandatory, but attach a drawing of yourself if you can! (drawn by you or for you)

but if you don't want to do that, a picrew is just as good!

bonus points if it features flags of your specific identities*

send it in as an anonymous ask or directly in my dms, your username won't be on the post

but it would be cute if you signed, with any name or pseudonym

once i have enough messages, i will compile them into some kind of inspirational presentation. (i'll include my own message too)

if you still have questions, lmk.

excited to hear from you!

*for ppl that struggle with that stuff: there aren't actually points, i'm being figurative.

this post will be pinned instead of the usual one until the project is done. if you want to see the traditional pinned post with the mission statement, information and the dni and all that, click here.

[demisexual-kingdom]

"there are only two sexes, it's literally third grade biology!" and pronouns are taught in kindergarten and you dont seem to understand those either

[demisexual-kingdom]

just like there will be more bad days, there will also be more good days

[demisexual-kingdom]

If people are sad about The Wizard Facism game coming from someone you used to look up to and admire, may I suggest an author whose books are filled with nuanced characters and strong, dynamic women?

Tamora Pierce has been writing since the 80’s and has two worlds of magic and fantasy and bonus!!! Isn’t a transphobic POS.

[demisexual-kingdom]

#aegosexual

[demisexual-kingdom]

HAPPY PRIDE!!! ❤️🧡💛💚💙💜

#pride #pride month #lesbian #aromantic #asexual #aroace #nonbinary #pansexual #transgender #bisexual #wallpapers

[demisexual-kingdom]

[demisexual-kingdom]

can you elaborate on what you mean by romance being a social construct? just trying to understand here, because by that logic to be aromantic is to be against the social construct of romance or what most people view as romance

What does "romance" or "romantic" mean? Most people when answering that question will list specific signifiers or feelings that we commonly associate with romance or romantic feelings, but these things don't have to be romantic. They're 'coded' as romantic because we associate them with romance as a byproduct of our culture. Simple example: Kissing on the lips. Pretty safe to say this action is frequently cited as a romantic gesture. But is it objectively a romantic gesture? No. There are plenty of cultures, currently and throughout history, where kissing on the lips is not romantic. Hell, kissing in some cultures isn't a thing at all/considered unsanitary! Therefore, kissing on the lips is not objectively romantic or some universal phenomenon. It's socially constructed.

The same thing can apply to romantic feelings. First: Feelings of sexuality that often (but not always!) go toe to toe with romance are not inherently romantic. You can be attracted to someone, or be intimate with someone, and not feel romantic feelings. So we need to separate sexuality from romance. What does that leave us with? Great care for someone? A feeling of closeness? A desire to never be parted with someone? Are these feelings romantic? Yes, but they aren't always. Stripped of any other pretenses, you could easily apply those feelings to your friends or family members. What makes them romantic is socially contextual, and subjectively determined. Therefore: Romance is a social construct.

People who identify as aromantic will have different reasons for subscribing to the label. Some may be aromantic because the feelings typically associated with romance just don't happen with them, and sometimes (but not always!!!) asexuality plays a part here as well. But for other aro folk, it's not always that consistent. Maybe they do feel those feelings, but only under some circumstances. Or maybe they feel some of those feelings, but not all of them, or inconsistently, or don't really think of those feelings as romantic at all or in the moment. Romance, like sexuality, is more fluid than we tend to realize, but romance as a specific, socially determined construct can be suffocating for those who don't quite fit in the box. Especially once you start throwing in the other social expectations that romance is typically associated with: Living together, marriage, having kids, permanence, etc. In those instances, some folks may gravitate toward the aromantic label simply because they oppose the rigidness of the construct.

Ultimately, our purpose with our arospec characters (Keagan, Robin, and Daonna) is to explore these variations.

[demisexual-kingdom]

Btw, on valentines day im holding everyone under the arospec and acespecs hands and we’re all gonna sit in the circle and infodump while drinking hot cocoa and eating chicken noodle soup

[demisexual-kingdom]

hey i said this in a group chat earlier and honestly it fucks, so i’m gonna post it here too

Feel disgusted by something? Don’t immediately act on it. Deconstruct your disgust!

Be just a little curious about it. Why do you feel disgusted by something? What is it about the thing that disgusts you? Is it the whole that disgusts you, or just a part? Do you feel disgusted because you’re supposed to? Has someone told you to feel disgusted? Are you just disgusted because something looks unfamiliar to you? Do other people seem disgusted or are there people opposing your disgust (or do they, on the flipside, like it?). Is there a cultural context you might be missing? More importantly, could there be biases like racism, sexism, classism, homo- or trans-phobia at play? Is the object of your digust actually causing harm? Does someone benefit from your disgust politically?

Disgust is a powerful emotion, but one that deserves a lot of self-reflection. It’s easily weaponised and often deeply flawed.

[demisexual-kingdom]

Enrique Favez is more often seen under one of his multiple other names. Specifically either a feminized version of his chosen name or his birth name. His legacy has largely been defined as the first female doctor of Cuba. His marriage discussed as one between two women. This understanding of his life is flawed in a number of ways, and much of his story is still tinged by present-day and past transphobia. He is not the first, and will not be the last transgender man to be swept post-humously into the category of woman dressing up as a man, and just like every other time it has happened, it is a failure and a tragedy.

[demisexual-kingdom]