depressedgiraffe216

[depressedgiraffe216]

My current plans for my new homebrew campaign

- Session 1: find a future magic dealer's stolen staff

- Session 2: witness an act of terrorism

#collective terror does wonders for party dynamics #only a few hundred people are gonna die it's fine #dungeon master #dm #dungeons and dragons #dnd

[depressedgiraffe216]

Me: oh let's write a document of things to address during the upcoming Session 0, it probably won't be too long

The document: 3,000 words

Me: ...okay so it's a little longer than I expected

#in my defense i spelled out a lot of etiquette stuff cuz i have some new players #im also a big fan of homebrew rules so that doesnt help either #dungeon master #dungeons and dragons #dnd

[depressedgiraffe216]

Okay so I'm fleshing out a player's backstory for my new campaign, and towards the end we're discussing her parents, and this is what happened:

Me: "Right, and things sorta just happened in a way where you guys never ended up crossing paths afterward."

Player: "Yeah, unless you wanna do something like that in the campaign or something."

Me: [slowly turns in awe of this player's audacity to imply that I don't already plan on integrating every single minute detail of her character's history into my story arcs]

(For additional context, I am the kind of DM that aggressively writes everything around the characters and begs her players for details and any ideas for secrets/twists)

#i am a schemer dm #so many schemes #all the schemes #dungeon master #dungeons and dragons #dnd

[depressedgiraffe216]

JUST HAD GALE'S CONFESSION SCENE

ACTUALLY CRYING

#his face when i said he didnt need to impress me with the weave #broke me #my sweet boy #he looks so hopeful and at peace now #so yeah going to therapy after this haha #bg3 #baldurs gate 3 #bg3 gale #gale of waterdeep

[depressedgiraffe216]

Me: okay I'm focusing on romancing Gale for my first run

Halsin: Forgive me. Sometimes I forget myself, gazing on the beauty of nature's creations.

Me: HALSIN YOU ARE MAKING THINGS MUCH MORE DIFFICULT THAN THEY NEED TO BE

#im dedicating an entire run to romancing halsin later #druid rizz is too powerful #bg3 #baldurs gate 3 #baldur's gate 3 #halsin #bg3 gale #gale of waterdeep #bg3 halsin

[depressedgiraffe216]

I am so normal about the cartoon alien robots who turn into various vehicles

#no im not #send help #optimus prime my beloved #bumblebee my baby boy #JAZZ MY MAN #transformers

[depressedgiraffe216]

Me: sees an edit of a new anime in my feed

Me: sighs and opens my to-watch list

#its not always a hot 2d man thing either #like i just saw the cutest clip from a new romance where the male love interest was doing the BARE MINIMUM #and immediately i was like #welp now i gotta watch it #i've been digging this grave for so long #would be a shame to stop now #anime

[depressedgiraffe216]

THE PERCY JACKSON SHOW IS ON DISNEY+ I'M LOSING ALL MARBLES AAAAAAAA

#8yo me is over the moon #i'm so excited #time for Biblically accurate persassy #percy jackson #percy jackon and the olympians #percy pjo

[depressedgiraffe216]

One of my players called Strahd a "gaudy ass bitch" to his face and it took every ounce of willpower I had not to break character and bust out laughing

#dnd strahd #curse of strahd #strahd von zarovich #dnd #dungeons and dragons #dungeon master

[depressedgiraffe216]

I present to you: some fun things I've had Strahd say to the party thus far

"I'm going to interpret that as a compliment for the sake of diplomatic relations."

"Can we have a conversation, or do you have a few more Fireballs you need to cast first?"

"I do believe a welcoming banquet is in order, as long as you fix your manners."

#i made him sassy #so sassy #all the attitude #curse of strahd #strahd von zarovich #dnd strahd #dnd #dungeons and dragons #dungeon master

[depressedgiraffe216]

"You son of a bitch."

"Bastard."

"I know where you live."

Last night's session was fun :)

You're not a good DM unless your party craves your untimely death at least once over the course of the campaign

#legit my fav session i've had the pleasure of running #party lost their shit several times #if i don't post anytime soon you know who killed me

[depressedgiraffe216]

You're not a good DM unless your party craves your untimely death at least once over the course of the campaign

#i'm running Curse of Strahd and decided to have him capture some beloved NPCs #if this account goes dark then my players have killed me #dnd #dungeons and dragons #dungeon master

[depressedgiraffe216]

Me, looking at the current book I'm reading: nah, I'm not gonna stay awake long enough to finish a chapter

Also me, looking at a 130k+ fic: ah yes, a quick bedtime story before I go eepy

#you can smell the hyperfixation from a mile away #does time blindness apply to reading #ao3 #fanfic

[depressedgiraffe216]

I gaslight myself into thinking I'm not a nerd and then send messages to my friends with phrases like "the aforementioned impromptu planar transport" unironically

#i have chronic large vocabulary help #i'm not pretentious i swear #i just read a lot of books and i'm gonna use the new words i find in them okay

[depressedgiraffe216]

As a DM, BG3 is giving me so many ideas for custom magic items. A necklace that gives you an extra projectile every time you cast Magic Missile? A crossbow that inflicts Bane on those it hits? Armor that buffs your attacks when you get hit???? So cool

#bg3 #baldurs gate 3 #d&d #dungeon master #dungeons and dragons #homebrew

[depressedgiraffe216]

Me: wow Gale is so attractive there's no one who could sway me from his nerdy charm

Halsin: [flexes biceps]

Me: ...

Me: well shit

#bg3 #baldurs gate 3 #gale of waterdeep #halsin #Karlach also has me in a chokehold #and Wyll has charmed me as well #i need professional help

[depressedgiraffe216]

NOT ME ACCIDENTALLY INVITING MULTIPLE COMPANIONS TO SLEEP WITH ME AT THE TIEFLING PARTY BC I DIDN'T PICK UP ON ALL THE INNUENDOS IN THE DIALOGUE OPTIONS

#bg3 #baldur's gate 3 #not even withers can resurrect me from how dead i am after this