I am a Transwoman. You are a Piece of Shit. And That Distinction Matters.
Whining about transwomen. Ugh. Will TERFs ever not whine?
I ask why, as a transwoman born with debilitating dysphoria, you use the term âwoman parts.â I donât know what the fuck that means. I honestly chuckled reading that shit. Sorry you benefit from going along with the arbitrary lie you were fed since birth that your vagina defines your gender identity. But I can assure you, upside-down girl, a large, veiny schlong can still be âwoman partsâ if it indeed belongs to a woman. But lol whatever.
Honestly Iâm not angry with you. Not because I have any fucks to give about your plight as a pouty little brat, but because I donât. Youâre not worth the spoons to get mad at. You are worth mockery though, which I shall do swiftly and without regret.
You make quite a few assumptions regarding transwomanhood. You do realize that most of us wonât get surgery, right? Itâs expensive, not covered by insurance, painful, risky, and can often lead to a lifetime of follow-up surgeries. Why do you jump immediately to the conclusion that our genitals are what define our womanhood? Probably because youâre still married to the privilege that comes with being a ciswoman in love with her vagina.
I want to be clear that being in love with your vagina is far from a problem in my book. Itâs a beautiful thing to be proud of something that has been used against you for centuries, something that has been shamed, abused, mutilated, something that made you a target for violence. Ciswomen are still regularly discriminated against both interpersonally and systematically, and of course their arbitrarily gendered genitalia play a factor into this. I have no issue with you caring about yourself and the rights of ciswomen. But I have a few questions for your ass:
What makes you think that transwomen arenât constantly bombarded with dick pics and flashers? What makes you think that I, as a transwoman, cannot be a rape survivor as well? Because let me tell you, I fucking am. I am a repeated rape survivor. Why are you always pointing to one of two transwomen in the public eye as an end all example of our âprivilege,â when she represents a very small sample size of privileged and problematic transwomen? Why do you think that all of us give a shit if you have genital preferences, that somehow we donât already know that our reproductive systems are different than yours and somehow transmensâ similar systems to yours are null and void because these are âwoman parts?â What makes you think that a transwomanâs inability to have biological children is a lesser experience than a ciswomanâs? Like, what the hell makes you legitimately posit this? What makes you think that transwomensâ oppression is a newer thing than that of ciswomensâ? What makes you think that we donât experience scrutiny and emotional abuse based on our bodies to an equal or perhaps even greater extent than you? What makes you think that the way we behave isnât also conditioned early on to ensure we never escalate situations with men, that we donât carry weapons and text friends, that we donât fear both rape and murder, that men who rape or murder us will somehow be rightfully convicted but yours wonât? What makes you think that some of us never presented naturally femme even before transition, and even with the privilege of being cispassing come unique challenges and fears? Fears of being sexually assaulted then âfound outâ and thusly beaten and/or murdered. Fears of simply minding your own business sans makeup, your ass grabbed on the train, another man coming to your aid, then infuriated once he figures out that youâre ânot a real womanâ because he sees five oâ clock shadow (a personal experience of mine).
Why do you think transwomen minding their own business in changing rooms is the same thing as being âforced to see a penis?â Why do you think we were ever equal to a man even when we were being raised as âboys?â Why is somehow your language more important than our lives and well-being? Why is âoppressive languageâ the same to you coming from transwomen as it is from men? How is our fight for our lives oppressive to your ass?
Iâm sorry some transwomen sent you meanie pants messages. I wouldnât personally send something like that to you, as threats are not in my vocabulary. But did you ever sit and think, hmm, maybe there is a legitimate reason why theyâre reacting this way? Ever stop and think âHmm. Maybe Iâm crying cistears and doing everything in my power to silence and diminish the experiences of transwomen, experiences I obviously donât know jack shit about based on the trash article I wrote for Medium?â
I agree, your birth control and abortion rights are important. But Iâll admit that your toplessness is not a particularly urgent issue to me, and this is coming from a transwoman who developed breasts at a young age. On paper, yeah, your rights to openly displaying your breasts are valid, but some of us have bigger worries than you trying to make everyone look at your boobies. Thatâs a nice problem to have, sweetie. Ask any woman of color, specifically black women. They have bigger worries than you. They face bigger adversity and marginalization than you. And these include ciswomen.
Why do you assume our bodies arenât hypersexualized and catcalled every fucking day, that we donât have to conform even more intensely to mensâ standards? Â That if we donât shave carefully and wear heaping loads of makeup our lives wonât be in more danger than you could ever fathom? Weâve lost 13 transwomen so far this year to anti-trans violence. These were all transwomen of color, most of whom were black transwomen. You yourself acknowledge that weâre a small percent of the population, and yet so many of us are dying.
Why do you gloss over the intensified violence we face? Once again I ask, why do you insist that our surgeries are what define us? Why are you so obsessed with our surgeries?
I can answer all of these questions for you: you donât see us as women, or even as people. You want us gone, you want us silenced, you want us to appeal to your comfywumfyness. As self-aggrandizing as it is to quote my own work, I wrote a song that deals with shits like you. The hook goes as such:
âWhat you see is everlasting
I ainât going nowhere,
Iâm staying right here.
What you see is everlasting
I ainât going nowhere,
Iâm staying right here.
Your comfort doesnât matter to me if my well-being doesnât matter to you. Why canât you get that thru ur head, thru ur head?
Your comfort doesnât matter to me if my well-being doesnât matter to you. Why canât you get that thru ur head, thru ur head?â
We all know why you canât. And if your feelings need to be accommodated in order for you to be an ally, you never were one from the start.
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This morning, I'm in thought of the moments after this beautiful lunch my sister was attacked on the street. Ryannah is such a wonderful friend and sister that you can have real conversations with. As trans women of color we can NEVER LET OUR Guard down. We are never privilege to relaxation if it's not in our own homes. We will never be allowed a moment of peace in this world. All we have is every other. Moments after I have a meeting to go to and she wanted to go to her room, second later she called "IVE BEEN ASSAULTED" I run to my sister trying not to cry! This is real in our world, real for us when we think we are safe just walking to our rooms. We must stick together more now than ever, what would have happen if no one was with her. What would have happened if other jumped in. I can't think of the thought of losing a sister that so near and dear to me just a block away from where we just said I will see you in an hour!!! #girlslikeus
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This man has been nothing but a healer to me, pulled me up and told nothing but truths. Hold me when I'm crying, I'm blessed to finally feel unapologetically happiness. Black love is the most amazing thing, loves me in cornrows or 28inches of hair. I love this man, I can be at my worst looking I feel and if he says I look good BITCH I LOOK GOOD. HE SEES ME FINALLY #LOVE #BLACKLOVE #transontranslove #ftm #mtf #tranny #blacklivesmatter #transwoman #TRANSMAN #t4t #girlslikeus
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