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"Who's your favourite F1 driver?" Well u see if ur a girl then Lando Norris. If you're a man I like then it's Kimi Raikkonen. If you're a man I hate then it's Juan Manuel Fangio.

#'oh I bet your favourite is lando because he's hot' don't test me bitch #my dad had a signed photo of my man juan on our living room wall my whole childhood. don't FUCKING test me #formula 1 #formula one #f1 #lando norris #kimi raikkonen #juan manuel fangio #ferrari

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Dad: we're not getting a dog.

Dad: okay fine, we can get a dog, but I'm not going to be the one to take care of it.

Dad, three (3) business days later:

#formula 1 #formula one #f1 #ferrari #charles leclerc #leo leclerc #he's so obsessed with this little fuckin dog i need him biblically

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#I want to put them in a little jar and shake them violently #I want them to find each other damp and cold in a rainy german alleyway and share a stale loaf of bread over a barrel fire

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One day I will not write stupidly complicated AUs for racecar drivers. Meanwhile, have a snippet of an AU where the Gang r scientists who discover that the centre of the earth is actually a black hole and it's actually a big fat metaphor for divorce.

“Disaster parameters?” Oscar asks, a little weak. George sucks in a breath through his teeth. “Thirteen percent chance that half the ship’s particles will tunnel, leaving the other half irreparably entangled with the atoms of the earth itself, which ‒ well, it won’t be painful, not for very long, anyway. There’s a six percent chance the entangled particles will tunnel with themselves, at which point we’re not… quite sure what will happen, but we think it’ll be a quick death as well. Then there’s a point-two percent chance that the accelerator will entangle every particle inside the ship, instead of the layer on the outside…” Charles finishes the sentence for him. “Which will turn all of us into walking, speaking atomic bombs. Possibly immortal. We only were able to test it theoretically.” He waves a hand. Oscar tries to explode his head with his mind.

#I'm like? 7k words in? Idk trying to make this one a short one #(I said the same thing about death and other lies and it ended up over 40k) #anyway this isn't the time loop fic that's a different one #I've got the time loop fic in the works as well as a one where lando is a fae/woodland spirit/forest bitch and a superpowers one #anyway disclaimer i stopped doing any form of science in year 10 so don't expect the descriptions of particle physics to be accurate #landoscar #mctwinks #f1 #f1 fanfic #landoscar fic

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Nico please stop praising lando im so fucking scared rn

#formula 1 #formula one #f1 #lando norris #mclaren #nico rosberg

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Take a shot every time nico rosberg says ‘lewis’

#hospitalised immediately #formula 1 #formula one #f1 #ferrari #mercedes #lewis hamilton #brocedes #nico rosberg

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Lando Norris starting on pole with twelve world championships behind him. That's what sex appeal is

#lewis hamilton I love you. Lewis hamilton fans get off the fucking floor #today is the day u will always remember as the day your goat was beaten by a bitch with no wins and schrodinger's lap time #formula 1 #formula one #f1 #lando norris #mclaren

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Lando Norris and Charles Leclerc at the Drivers Press Conference ahead of the Chinese Grand Prix

Photo Credit: Mark Sutton

#see this is why I can't truly get behind lestappen #charles just looks at everyone like that #that's just his face

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what if max verstappen wanted to be a librarian when he grew up

#thinking about this rn #nepo babies but instead of getting everything handed to you on a silver platter #your entire life gets handed to you from your father's hands #nepo babies but instead of starting a music career with the best producers in the city #you are what your father could never be #destiny means that every turn you took lead to your final choice #not that you were given one straight line and told that there was no other road to walk #is it still fate when the prophet was the man who raised you #is it still fate when the words from your mouth ring with your father's voice #goddamn. anyway #formula 1 #formula one #f1 #max verstappen #red bull f1 #red bull formula 1 #red bull team #red bull racing

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the 2019 rookies are insane because obviously, OBVIOUSLY Lando's the youngest, but in my head Alex is the neglected middle child and George is clearly the most eldest daughter man in history. So how is it that Alexander Albon is nearly 30.

#twenty eight years old #alex I'm sorry you're like 19 to me #formula 1 #formula one #f1 #lando norris #mclaren #mercedes #george russell #williams racing #alex albon #alexander albon #2019 rookies

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just alex checking out lando on camera

#watching this being obsessed with the way alex is LOOKING and then suddenly Oscar is there #JUMPSCARE #any driver born after 1996 can't do anything all they know is charge they phone eyefuck their competition eat hot chip and lie

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#message for the people #anyways regardless of the answer... new fic in the works #landoscar

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the dichotomy of lando-centric RPF writers where if it's carlando its all 'little baby lando too innocent it's all too much for little lando norris heart emoji'

but if it's dando/landoscar it's 'this is my pet freak lando he's wanted in fifteen countries and is banned from tescos for life'

#it's like how charles (lestappen) is a sexy sweet borderline suicidal smooth talking monaco man #but charles (not a main character) is the drop dead gorgeous weirdo who is clinically insane and maybe some spirit of chaos #formula 1 #formula one #f1 #lando norris #oscar piastri #landoscar #carlando #carlos sainz #daniel ricciardo #dando

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carlando nation baby take me back I'm so sorry

#im sorry i didn't mean to cheat landoscar was just so fun #but she doesn't mean anything i swear #formula 1 #formula one #f1 #lando norris #mclaren #ferrari #carlos sainz #carlando

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STAY CALM EVERYONE STAY CALM OH MY GOD

#HE RETIRED????? #formula 1 #formula one #f1 #ferrari #lando norris #charles leclerc #max verstappen #red bull racing #red bull f1 #carlos sainz

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The mortifying ordeal of being known (as an RPF writer) VS the rewards of being loved (by people seeing my fics) FIGHT FIGHT FIGHT

anyways. I finally succumbed to the voices and wrote a landoscar fic - a spy AU to join the weird number of spy AUs in this fandom. Mybe the rich white men just always look a little bit sketchy, who knows.

Read it here (fic is completely finished, I'm just staggering releasing the chapters daily for publicity reasons) There is also an excerpt under the cut:

“Lando had a hot date with his roommate last night,” Alex taunts, grinning widely as Lando’s face goes pale. Lando closes his eyes, braces-

Daniel’s voice rings out, smug and intrigued. “Ooh, a date?” Lando can almost hear the eyebrow waggle. “Oh, little Stabby is growing up so fast! Do tell. Where’d he take you?”

“The Thames.” He drops his bag next to a chair with just too much force, then crumples into it. “We were dumping a body.”

“The Thames? How romantic- oh.” It’s nearly gratifying to hear the way shock colours Daniel’s voice, the way he stops short.

Except Charles and Alex start cackling, and George looks up to grin maliciously at Lando. “You were also staring at his arse, like, the whole night. We were watching through the cameras.”

“It was quite pathetic,” Charles adds.

“It was like watching Charles look at Max,” Alex concludes.

#landoscar #lando norris #oscar piastri #mctwinks #twinklaren

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u can always tell if a landoscar fic writer is american bc they'll say "omg oscar loves how lando pronounces his name like 'os-cuh'" as if that isn't the bog-standard way of pronouncing it

#it's like when tom holland pronounced croissant the complete right way and the US lost its shit #'oh my GAWD he said QUACKSON when he meant CROYSAWNT' #not being a hater it's just funny #landoscar #formula 1 #formula one #f1 #mclaren #lando norris #oscar piastri