forever-empty-thoughts

[forever-empty-thoughts]

Told we lost an angel that I never got the chance to get to know. We went to high school together and some of the same classes but didn’t run in the same circles. Over the years I followed your battle on Facebook and Instagram. No matter how hard you fought you always seemed to have a huge smile and full heart. From #seahawksmeetrachel and so much more, you were loved. You touched more people than you will ever know. Because of you we are going to fight that much harder to find a cure for that awful disease that took you far too early.

You have alway been and always will be loved rachelhenley

[forever-empty-thoughts]

Source: http://psychopathsandlove.com/how-can-you-tell-if-youre-being-manipulated/

[forever-empty-thoughts]

Okay honestly tonight was one of the best nights I've had in a long time, actually it was just a really good day. Started out with the homecoming football game and peppermint schnapps. Eastern won 54-3. Total ass kicking. After that I went to mo and Kayshas to hang out with Mo, Robin, Trent, and Colton. We honestly cuddled on the couch eating vodka gummy bears and watching New Girl. At like 12:30 Robin and I decided to go to a party at our friends house. It was supposed to be crazy but it was. We were there for a little bit but a fight broke out. Apparently guns were draw and the cops got called. But none of the guys that live there got in trouble so the was amazing. While the cops were taking statements and kicking people out Robin and I went and got cheesy bread. After that was all eaten and we heard that the house was empty we went back. At this point it was 1:30. (That second one). Went back and it was really chill. Just hung out, played pong, drank some beer, watched Taken, and best of all spent a good portion talking with Tyler from my dream the other night. He is actually really nice and down to earth if you get to know him. I mean I don't know if he would even be interested in me, but he is beautiful, athletic(varsity kicker on the football team), and nice. It was really good to talk to him, get to know him a little bit. I feel like we could connect, but idk. I just know I'll be going to sleep with a smile on my face :)

#football #homecoming #schnapps #cops #kicked #boy #crush #perfect night #new girl #personal #vodka gummy bears

[forever-empty-thoughts]

Do you ever have a dream that is so realistic that it throws off your thinking for days? Last night I had a dream about a friend of mine, Tyler, who i like but would probably never have a chance with.

It was weird it was right before his football game and I ran into him in the parking lot on his way to the football field and I was wish him good luck. In the dream he grabbed my hands, kinda softly, and was absentmindedly playing with them as we were talking. Somehow in the dream I knew that we weren't together or anything but it was a very together thing of him to do. So as our conversation was ending (dream me was getting butterflies at this point)(which I wasn't even aware was a thing until last night) goes to walk past him, but i brush his hair back and go to whisper something in his ear but instead I leave a lingering kiss on his cheek and kinda shyly whisper good luck in his ear. 

Anyways so I have been thinking about him and this dream ever since I woke up this morning. Sometimes I wish there was something more behind dreams other than our subconscious.

#Dreams #crush #football #boy #girl #cant get you off my mind

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I know that wanting someone because I feel inadequate is not healthy and so it makes me feel guilty when I feel lonely. And there are plenty of times(most the time honestly) when I am happy being single and having fun. Yet there are still times that I feel lonely and I think about why it is that boys don't really show any interest in me. I don't think I'd be needy. I just want someone who I can trust and someone who will cuddle with me while I fall asleep watching netflix. Like I just dont understand, I think that I would be a catch. I don't think I'm ugly or annoying but guys just don't seem to be into me. 

#personal #feelings #sad #depressed #lonely

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Why are the buttons bright blue and what does it mean if the reblogged button is sometimes grey...... This is too much to handle first thing in the morning

#Moldiv #Mobile #buttons

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Sometimes I wonder what my ex would say if he knew I am labeling our past relationship as emotionally abusive. And then I remember that he doesn’t matter and I can label it whatever I want.

#ex boyfriend #emotionally abusive #abusive realtionship

[forever-empty-thoughts]

I want to wait, I want to be yours. But a girl can only wait so long. You're busy and I understand that. But this couch was made for two, some come and take a seat. I can take some of the stress away, I can help to relax you, laughing through the night. You can make the worries disappear from my brow, and I yours. I know this to be true. If you just gave us a chance. We could go for drinks, you would be hilarious, and I would laugh until my cheeks hurt and then laugh some more. You could tell me how you loved the color of my eyes, the blues and the greens. I would blush with a sweet innocent smile. Over these drinks and these moments, we could fall for each other. But a girl can only wait so long.

[forever-empty-thoughts]

Sometimes I'm just not sure anymore. I hate that I can't tell what  this guy is thinking. It seems like he likes me from our texts. When we first started talking we had both mentioned getting together for drinks sometime. And even last week he mentioned me coming over sometime for his Thursday Movie Night with his friends. But we haven't made any definite plans to get together. It's just a little bit disheartening. I mean he is working on this really big film project right now, and i completely understand that he's been busy. (every time we talk he mentions how busy and stressed his been). I really am just being a stupid, needy girl about this, but at least I'm aware of it. I just want to know if we are going to become anything... If there's anything here, or if I'm wasting my time. 

Also I am going to out of town for the next few weekends so we wouldn't be able to get together then, which makes me a little bit impatient. I;m just being dumb. I just really want him to like me. I haven't had a guy interested in me in a while, so it's really nice when he texts me and is interested in what is going on in my life. It really just makes me feel good about myself, but when I get to thinking about it too much and I start thinking about how we haven't set up a date, I start to doubt that he likes me, or ever could. I have been really moody recently because of this. Think about it too much and I get sad and a little depressed,  when we are texting or snapchatting I get really happy and in a good mood. It's been driving me crazy. It's probably the reason that I want to get together with him sometime, so I can end these stupid girly boycrazy hormonal moodswings.

[forever-empty-thoughts]

Every single one of my friends can seem to get a guy to fall for them in a matter of a conversation. I on the other hand can't seem to get a guy to give me a second look. Am I second best? Am I less than them? I know I am not a skinny, but they tell me that I am still beautiful. Then why can't I seem to get the guy? I don't have the daintiest of features, but neither do a lot of girls. How do they get the guy? Does everyone know something that I don't about being desirable? Because I feel like there must be some secret I'm missing.

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So I gave Jake my number, and we have been kinda texting, but it's really confusing. At the very beginning he seemed like a really great texter, always replied, always seemed really excited to talk to me. But as a week or so went by I've been getting less and less texts from him, even if I text him first. When he texts me first, even if i reply pretty much right away it can take him forever to respond, like don't text me first if you don't have the time to hold a conversation with me. on top of all of that he will just stop replying randomly... But he still seems really excited to talk to me when we do text. He uses lots of smiley faces and explanation points and if he texts me first he will start the text with my name........ I am just so confused.

#mixed signals #boys #flirting #texting #confused

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When the person who you thought would never flake out on you starts to flake out on you is literally the shittiest feeling. Doesn't help that I've been feeling a little bit depressed recently. 

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Sometime you just have to creep through all of your crushes facebook photos because youre lonely and want him to love you

#im pathetic

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I did a thing. I finally worked up the guts to ask the guy I like out on a coffee date. He responds saying that He's really busy this quarter(his last quarter before graduation)(which is understandable) and that he would let me know when he has some free time. I gave him my number. I haven't heard from him since then, though I mean I did just ask on Friday and it is only Sunday night, Its only been two days... I can wait. I just really hope that he is into me too and that something comes of this. 

[forever-empty-thoughts]

Go for it and risk rejection and humiliation? Or Don’t and always wonder what could have been? 

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Shit shit. What the fuck am I doing. The guy I've been infatuated with for 4 months is asleep on my couch and I'm in my bed..... Just a thin wall separating us... Why the fuck am I not out there. Why the fuck did he not try and make a move. Why isn't he in here..... I mean he is really drunk... We honestly talked for a good 45 min, one on one. I thought there was a connection there. I thought he was into me. But he never tried to make a move... Only touched my knee a few times. But he was really drunk... Hopefully we will have this same connection tomorrow... God I really hope so.

[forever-empty-thoughts]

once I stopped looking at my life like some narrative w/ a beginning middle and ending and started to envision my existence as not bound by some linear definition of progression I became a trillion times less stressed true story