hiswonderfullymade

[hiswonderfullymade]

Love Me and All My Anxiety, Please

When I say love me and all my anxiety, it doesn’t mean you have to embrace my anxiety because even I hate it. But, love me even if I have anxiety and panic attacks. Love me even more when I’m having these attacks.

What do I look like when I have “it”? It’s thinking a lot and keeps going over it again and again but it doesn’t make sense. It’s hashing out something or the same thing you did ages ago. It’s an irrational fear. A dark side. So dark I needed you to shed me some light. Please, love me through my anxiety.

Love me when I’m crying in fear because my anxiety flared up and depression is screaming that I am better off alone. Yes, it’s a lie that in a second I would believe in to and I have to face every fear each day and pull myself together regardless how scared I am. I have to manage to keep going through endless tears and sleepless nights and expensive meds and therapy that I can show up and be at my best like anybody else does.

Truth is, we with mental illness don’t want you to carry us and add up to your burden. Specially that I am an alpha. One that people sees as a “strong independent woman”, it’s kind of a fear of disappointing those people who look up to you so we stay hidden and just keep “it” to ourselves but it doesn’t work either. We don’t want any family member, friends or even partners or for those who have, their children to suffer pain just to protect our “vulnerability” which often is called “exaggeration” by the unloving society. We are after your love and support during the breakdowns and attacks. Love me and all my anxiety within your safe arms.

When you find me running to you during episodes of “it”, it’s because I see you as a safe person who would care and love me without judgment, without anger, without getting pissed and making me feel stupid or a trash. Love me during my anxiety because I trust you that much.

I trust you that you would give me space when I seem to be shutting people out but listen to my almost the same crying moments just because anxiety creep up on me in the middle of our candle-light dinner. I trust and I choose to believe that you are not going anywhere and you constantly remind me of that, because you truly love me and all my anxiety.

You know, anxiety tells me I am difficult to love. It’s easier to believe that I should remain alone forever. It’s never easy to manage my mental health but it is even harder for when having a particular people involve because of this anxiety I can’t control or don’t have a hint of it coming. It is easier to get messed up when no one sees your ugly dark moments. I came to the point that it seems I am beginning to lose everyone who cares about me. So love me, despite my stubborn anxiety.

My anxiety is my worst enemy and I willfully desire to cast it out. It sure takes time and tremendous amount of effort to manage it but I always hope and pray to find the cure before I ruin anything or anyone else. My depression and anxiety are true but I am not my mental illness. Love me and help me get rid of all my anxiety.

I am caught in this cycle of defeat where my anxiety tell me that I am difficult to love and it really does take over me and for me to change that is beyond challenging, but I’m trying and doing my best best right now. But love me, and let your love be greater than all my anxiety.

This is not a beg for love. This is a cry for help.

#love #anxiety #depression #mental health #mental heath awareness

[hiswonderfullymade]

I said YES!!! 💍❤️

😭😭😭 I wasn't expecting this but, it's like I am so whole again like never before. 🔥

I said YES!!!

To loving the Lord with all my heart, soul, mind and strength. To enjoying and honoring my every season. To waiting for the right time in regards of courtship to marriage. To staying pure and battling for my future family. It's US again my Lord!!! But this time, my YES is final. Hindi ko na babaliin ang prinsipyo ko. Ilagay natin sa mas tamang konsepto... hindi ko na babaliin o iibahin ang disenyo mo, una sakin bilang babae. Dinisenyo ako para ligawan sa bahay, hindi sa kanto o chat lang. Babae akong dinesenyong hindi dalhin sa kama kundi samahan sa tama. Dinesenyo hindi para mag first move kundi para hintayin ng lalakeng inilaan ng Lord para sakin. Higit sa lahat, maging tamang katuwang para sa future husband ko. Hindi katulong ngunit katuwang sa buhay at buhay paglilingkod sa Lord. Sobrang wasak ko dahil sa mga past relationships ko (you can read the story of my recent one here: Jez @ Thought Catalog ) Oo, MGA. Nagmadali e, kaya nagkamali. But I can say now, specially after attending the #LoveAndPurityFest I never felt so whole again. And now I am so ready to love my GoBe, because I have so much love to give now. Pero I am still choosing to be #Self-partnered kasi sobra sarap maging single habang naglilingkod kay Lord. Wait ko na lang sabihin sakin ni Lord na "Jez, di na bagay sa'yo maging single... di mo na kakayanin ang ministry ng single ka, dalhin na kita kay _____." 🥰 It's US AGAIN and FINALLY, MY YES IS FINAL! #PurityRing #YEStoPurity #SelfPartnered

[hiswonderfullymade]

Quality Check for Your Second One

God wants us to value qualities that will last. We'll look at the character qualities and attitudes important in our future lifetime partner. Pero habang nagseset tayo ng mga standards na toh, we also want to ask, "Am I cultivating these in my own life?" Let's be careful to maintain a humble attitude of self-examination na hindi lang tayo nakaconcentrate on finding the right person but, more important, we becoming the right person ourselves.

How a Person Relates to God

Sabi nga, Jesus is the One. Si Jesus muna. Relationship with the One is essential in every relationship for if this is not present every other relationship will suffer. It will always fail. Hindi lang basta ang tanong dito ay kung tinanggap ba nya si Jesus but more of is he/she crazy in love with Jesus?

Marami ngayon nagsasabi, "I want a man or a woman who will bring me closer to God.","Gusto ko yung taong maglalapit sa'kin sa Lord."

Why not say it like this, "I want a partner who will not stop me or be a hindrance for me from loving the Lord with my all." kasi may relationship ka na sa Lord. You have to be in a relationship muna kay Lord.

Someone with an attitude like David's, saying, "I will hurry, without lingering, to obey Your commands." (Psalm 119:60) Is this person being conformed to the pattern of this world, or does he or she go against the flow, seeking to be transformed into Christ's image?

Look for, and work on becoming, a man or woman who, as a single, seeks God wholeheartedly,

putting Him before anything else. Don't worry about impressing the opposite sex. Instead, strive to

please and glorify God. Along the way you'll catch the attention of people with the same priorities. ~ Joshua Harris

Maganda, may intimate relationship muna tayo kay the One. Tapos tingnan mo kung sino yung kasabay mong tinatakbo ang relasyon nya kay Kristo, that's one check for a quality for a God-sent potential lifetime partner.

How a Person Relates to Other People

Being Jesus as a priority in one's life, having the authority in your life, God has given authority to people in our lives also.

A God-sent potential lifetime partner would also respect the authority here on earth.

Sa bahay, how do this man treat his mother? Or how do this woman talks to her dad? Kung di nya maipakita ang pag aalaga at pagrespeto sa mga magulang nya, pano pa sa'yo?

If he brings you flowers or she writes you letter you think their sweet and romantic and that's all they are, NO! Because, their true colors can be truly known when you're eyes aren't on them. Syempre, nililigawan ka, papakita nyan sayo maganda, pero pag hindi na ikaw ang kaharap nya, pag kasama na sya ng mga barkada nya, baka sinisigawan na nyan yung waiter na nagkamali ng dala ng order sa kanila.

"Character is what you are in the dark when no one but God is watching," writes Randy Alcorn

Personal Discipline

He/She Uses time wisely

Wattpad all the time? Or finds time to meditate on God's Word?

Spends too much time playing games? Or spends time cultivating relationship with the One and others?

He/She spend money wisely

Is this person spends too much money on his car or shopping or sa mga date nyo? Ang masaklap nito, di marunong magtithes o hindi buo magbigay ng tithes nila pero ang date nyo laging candlelight.

A person's spending habits reveal his or her level of responsibility.

He/She takes good care of his/her body

Our body is a temple of God. Who would like to dwell in a ruined temple?

God wants us to maintain a good health condition of our bodies so that we can serve Him more effectively.

#love #Jesus #the One #relationship #standards

[hiswonderfullymade]

To all women: Kung sa tingin mo may mali sayo bakit lahat na lang ng linyang panghopya narinig mo. "It's not gonna work." "We're better off as friends." "Wala tayong label, basta mahalaga lang tayo sa isa't isa." Kung feeling mo wala yung mga qualities na hinahanap sayo ng mga lalaki. Feeling mo di yung itsura mo ang ligawin. NO! You are beautiful! You are precious in His sight. Like a precious stone that is worth looking for. You are attractive. You don't chase men, you are to be chased. You are to be pursued. I believe that there are a lot of men who's looking for Proverbs 31:30 women. "Charm is deceitful and beauty is passing, But a woman who fears the LORD, she shall be praised" Yung mga babaeng hindi lang maganda dahil sa makeup nila. But because the glory of the Lord shows vibrant in them. Maganda dahil babad sa presensya ng Diyos. God wants you to embrace how God has called you to be. Hindi ka lang maganda, kundi maganda din dapat yung inner being mo. Kasi may takot ka sa Diyos. A woman who fears nothing but the Lord kaya ang pagwoworship nya hindi pabebe, kundi sagad sagad. Ang passion nya kay Jesus nag aapoy, nanghahawa. Ayaw nya makamiss ng church gatherings kasi it builds up more of her faith to see how God works to everyone. She spends quality time to pray and be alone with God. She study the Bible and live it. She doesn't feel shame in sharing her testimony because her greatest achievement is that she received Christ and Christ lives in her. You are a precious stone, a genuine gem that has a lot of value, a lot of worth. Yung appeal, yung karisma, it is deceptive, mapanlinlang, maganda sa labas yun pala pangit sa loob. Yung ganda mo, lilipas, kukupas. But a woman who fears the Lord is to be praised! A woman who fears God is beautiful because she knows how God is so beautiful in her life. That's the kind of woman God wants you to be. Kung panong hinulma ng Diyos si Eve para dalhin kay Adam, magpahulma ka din sa Diyos na sa kabila ng dami ng heartaches na naranasan mo paghahanap ng Adam mo nung di mo pa alam ang prinsipyong to, ADAMi kang natutunan at narealize and now, patuloy ang molding til dalhin ka na ng Lord sa Adam na nakalaan para sayo.

#women #godly woman #love #relationship #womanhood #jesus

[hiswonderfullymade]

To All Men: God created you to rule. (Genesis 1:19) You were born to be leaders. God created a man first before the woman because you are created to initiate and lead. (Ephesians 5:23) You are created to lead emotionally, financially and spiritually. You are the pursuer, the hardworker, the provider, the goal-oriented. Start leading by leading yourself. Lead your self to be the good man rather than finding the good woman. How do we handle things? Yung oras nyo sa tambayan, sa computer shop nauubos? Yung pag aaral nyo, sersyoso ba kayo jan o seryoso lang paghingi ng baon para pamporma kay crush? Are you prayerful? Mahirap maglead kung di ka nakakakuha ng guidance sa Lord. Kung di mo malead sarili mo today, how can you lead your wife and family in the future? Maging mabuting katiwala para pagtiwalaan ng higit pa. Don't say you can't kasi nasa dugo nyo yan. You are very much capable to lead. Kaya nga mahalaga na di stagnant ang prayer life mo. Pray without ceasing. Enjoy and maximize your season. Pag nakita ni Lord na natapos mo na ang pinapagawa Nya sayo at time mo na to have a partner, kung paanong dinala ng Diyos si Eve kay Adam, dadalhin Nya din sayo ang babaeng iEve-igin mo, the bone of your bones and flesh of your flesh. Be the best that you can be today so that you're ready to lead for tomorrow.

#Jesus #relationship #men #godly men #man up

[hiswonderfullymade]

[hiswonderfullymade]

JOURNEY INTO A GOD-SENT RELATIONSHIP: #WAITING

Now, I believe, timing is everything. We people love to get things done instantly. We rush into things. We rush to have things and do everything just to have it. Sabi nga, “Ang hinog sa pilit ay mapait.” Everything has it’s own time, has it’s season and when we jump from one season to another and did not wait for it’s right season, it won’t be beautiful.

Don’t settle for less because you are designed to have the best (Jer. 29:11).

To those who are in a secret relationship, alam nating may mali kaya nga tinago e, but please makalaya ka. Or sa mga MU (Mutual Understanding), di Biblical yan. Magulo, Malabong Usapan yan. Sabihin nating praying and waiting for the right time pero ang totoo waiting for the right time to say you’re ‘official’ (been there, done that, thank God for God’s grace pinalaya ako). Don’t lie to people, above all else you’re fooling yourselves. To those in a wrong relationship, it’s never too late unless you’d tie knot. Pero sa mga may chance pa, free yourself. Break chains! Anak ka ng Diyos tas yung magiging partner mo, anak ng kaaway, papayag ka bang maging magbalae si Jesus at si (whoever their Lord is)? No! Get out from it, before it’s too late.

Youth, honor your parents by focusing on your studies. What does Ecclesiastes 12:1 says, Don’t let the excitement of youth cause you to forget your Creator. Honor Him in your youth before you grow old and no longer enjoy living.

Remember Him with grateful hearts, love Him, honor Him with reverential fear, worship Him in Spirit and in truth and always put Him first while you are young. That is what you should be doing and not entering to a relationship yet.

Waiting is the hardest thing to do. It’s dangerous. It’s close to giving up. But it can also be rewarding. Wait for the right time. Don’t rush things. Enjoy a single life. And reap in due season.

#jesus #relationship #god-sent #the one #love #waiting #true love waits

[hiswonderfullymade]

[hiswonderfullymade]

JOURNEY INTO A GOD-SENT RELATIONSHIP: #SEASON Grow while waiting. In 1 Corinthians 7:32-33 gave contrast on how a single man does before the Lord compared to a married one. We know that marriage is God's will for us. And being single is blessed. If you want a beatiful married life in the future, taste and see the beauty of being single first. What does it says in 1 Cor. 7:32-33? It says that for a married man, he might still do what can please God but it will be divided to his affairs in the world, diligently working for the necessities in the family and everything else but when you are single, you can spend much time reading His word, meditating it, sharing it. You can pray to God earnestly, worship Him and take every opportunity to glorify Him and all of these will help you grow and become what God wants you to be for your #SECONDONE and that will give Him glory. You will be forever married but can't be forever single so embrace this season. Give your all to God while you are still single. Grow and learn from Him. And when it's your season to enter relationship, to be married and have family, seize the moment.

#Jesus #releationship #God-sent #the One #Second One #love #courtship #marriage

[hiswonderfullymade]

JOURNEY INTO A GOD-SENT RELATIONSHIP: #MOLDING

Remember Eve, how God molded her from Adam’s rib (Gen. 2:22)? Adam did not form himself a partner, God did. So let God form your #SECONDONE. Wag ka magbuo sa isip mo na, dapat mgiging partner ko ganito, mayman, may kotse 😂 Kidding aside, I mean wag mong pangunahan si Lord.

It’s good to set standards for your #SECONDONE. But it’s better if your standards is set for you. What do you want for a #SECONDONE is not the question but what the Lord wants you to be for your #SECONDONE.

Let God mold you first, physically, mentally, emotionally, spiritually and financially. Baka yung pinambili mo ng flowers mo kuha mo pa sa baon na bigay ng nanay mo? Do you spend time in sharing His Word o mas madami ka alam tungkol sa buhay nang ibang tao? Do you spend time in prayer or inuumaga ka sa computer shop paglalaro ng DOTA? Let Jesus form you first to be the right person, best partner He wants you to be for your #SECONDONE.

While you are single be formed by immersing in THE ONE.

#second one #the one #relationship #jesus #god-sent #molding

[hiswonderfullymade]

JOURNEY INTO A GOD-SENT RELATIONSHIP: #SECONDONE To explain this term "Second One", questions about relationships, love life, let's read Matthew 22:36-39 it says, “Teacher, which is the great commandment in the law?” Jesus said to him, “‘You shall love the LORD your God with all your heart, with all your soul, and with all your mind.’ This is the first and great commandment. So whom should we love first? It's the Lord, it's JESUS, that makes Him THE ONE. Verse 39, And the second is like this ‘You shall love your neighbor as yourself.’ - it's where the #SECONDONE comes from. 😁 Jesus is to be loved first before. It goes first. We have to experience His love first before we can share it with others (1 Jn. 4:19). He must be our first priority. He must be first in our lives because if not whatever comes next will always fail. Now, stop looking for THE ONE, start seeking Jesus because JESUS IS THE ONE. 💖

[hiswonderfullymade]

Together, let's journey.

#Jesus #relationship #God-sent

[hiswonderfullymade]

How Come a He's/She's-the-God's-Will-For-Me Relationship Failed?

Many asked me this after the break up. I even asked myself that question too. But it hit me when I asked the Lord and He answered me this, "It's not God's will, Jez. It was your will"

I thought that because the moment I encountered God, I gave up a non-believer partner after that and started praying Lord, I want my next to be a godly man. I want my next to be my last one. Then he came into my life, boy in the ministry. And then we started seeing each other, exchange compliments with each other, talks about Jesus with each other, those were good signs that I finally gave him the words that is supposedly given to Jesus more. What's wrong is that it's not the right time, we were both still studying. And we say that everything has it's own time, and back then it's our time to focus on our studies. Good thing at the wrong time is a wrong thing. We must honor each season the Lord gave us.

I am 23 now and my parents allowed to be in a relationship already. I can continue my recent relationship but God wants me to stop, to let go. I asked God why, He told me "Because you're going to preach and I'm giving you a testimony." He allows things to fail so that we can learn and preach His Word not just full of icing but with other spices. A bittersweet testimony sometimes is God's more effective way to display His glory in our lives.

To those who has plan on entering a relationship, consider these questions:

Did God say 'Go, pursue her' or 'Go, give him your yes' or 'Hold on, it's not the right time/right person'?

Did your pastors agree about it?

Do your parents know about it or did you get a blessing from them?

Because if it's from God, it will be confirmed to His leaders and the people accountable for you. And finally, entrust to Him also this area of your life, never do your will over His will and rest assured you'll be enjoying the reward of your faith in Him.

#jesus #relationship #love #god's will #right time

[hiswonderfullymade]

Unveiling the Beauty in Brokeness

My recent relationship was in great chaos 5 months ago but actually ended 2 months ago. The first two months were a struggle whether to keep the relationship going like how we always do for the last # of years or just let it go. Though I was the one who ended it, it was tragic, I must say. Grieving was constant. Something inside me felt like it's crushed and tore.

I remember how letting go made me cry myself to sleep. And now I clearly know why. It's because more than I'm hurting, I hurt Him for the past years. Now, I realized that this brokeness brought me to the will of God. Brought me to right track. And is bringing me to righteousness.

From then, I had fears. Fears from criticisms. Fears sa mga kwestyon ng mga pinagkatiwala sakin ng Lord na mga kaluluwa. Turo ako ng turo ng God's will na partner for your life but my relationship failed. Naisip ko, "Mababatbat ako ngayon ng questions like 'Kala ko ba kayo God's will.', 'Kala ko ba kapag si Jesus nasa center binebless Nya yung relationship nyo?', 'Kala ko ba pag pareho kayo Christian, nagseserve kay Lord, lasting relationship?' 'Bakit ngayon break na kayo?'" Nahiya ako sa sarili ko. Naisip ko siguro sana tinuloy na lang namin. Sana inayos namin. But the Lord said to me, "It's not you. It's Me! Ako gumawa nyan, ako nagbigay sa'yo ng command to let go, ang totoo matagal ko na sinabi sa'yo yan, di ka lang nakinig kasi ayaw mong marinig. Ngayon, makikita mo ang ganda ng hinanda ko para sa inyo individually."

Suddenly, the break up was not tragic but beautiful. Yes, it failed but that doesn't mean that we are a failure. It means that God allows us to do what we want to do (free will). He allows things to mess up, to be broken and worse. But surely He will meet you at your worst. It doesn't mean that God wants to hurt us but to let us be assured that He is working in our lives and He is all we need.

Now, I know that this brokeness completed me. Not because of the 3-month rule but because I found my "THE ONE" and His name is JESUS. THE ONE that made me complete (Col. 2:10), THE ONE that loved me despite my shortcomings (Rom. 5:8) and THE ONE that gave me security (Ps. 91:7).

Yes, I am single and not searching for a new one. I am healed from the past relationship and is now in the process of healing from the pain of discipline and I'd rather have this than the pain of regret. And now I say, I am sweetly broken, wholly surrendered.

#personal #relationship #break up #jesus #the one

[hiswonderfullymade]

Hi!

This blog would be posting a lot about love life. Hope we learn together from the Author of Love of course.

God bless!

#personal #true love #jesus #relationship