httpiastri

[httpiastri]

sleeping patterns – cn34

nights filled with endless crying and screaming take a toll on clement's confidence.

genre: fluff, slight comfort/angst ig

pairing: young dad!clem x young mom!reader

warnings: none

author’s note: aaaaaaaaaaa im so soft for clem and ive had such an insane baby fever recently. i miss him sm :(( he would be such a good dad, i just know it

f2/f3 masterlist

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the big, red numbers of your electric clock on the bedside table tell you it's only 3am, a frustrated huff passing through your lips when your eyes slowly open. it takes a while for you to realize what's waking you up – but then it makes so much sense.

the soft cries on the other side of the baby monitor sting like a knife in your heart, and you're fully awake in a matter of seconds. you're just about to push yourself up to a sitting position when the bed dips next to you. after turning around, you find your boyfriend already jumping out of bed. "i'll get her."

"are you sure?" you ask, voice creaky after several hours of not speaking.

clement nods, leaning down to press a kiss to your temple. "go back to sleep," he hums, and just like that, he has waddled through the door to your nursery.

the sad truth is that your little one hasn't been progressing with her sleep as much as she should. she had a period of almost sleeping through the nights about a month ago, but then you were hit with the four-month regression. she's almost five months old now, and still, you have issues with sudden wakeups in the middle of the night. as much as you adore every second you get to spend with her, you just wish you could get one full night of sleep sometime.

you know you won't be able to fall asleep until clement is back, you never can. but it's not because you're worried; in fact, there's not a single piece of concern on your mind over it. you know that he has mastered the cradling-cooing-bouncing sequence by now. and sure enough, your daughter's cries grow lighter and lighter, until the only sound that can be heard from the monitor is the ones of soft steps and hushed whispers.

but something feels off. even when the apartment is completely silent, clement doesn't come back to bed.

it's very strange. he fell asleep once in the rocking chair in the nursery, but complained about his back aching for a week afterwards and promised that he would never put himself through that again.

the moonlight peeking through the poorly shut blinds in the nursery casts a shadow across clement's profile when you step inside. despite how dark it is, you can see every little toy on the floor and every detail of the little race car-themed mobile that dangles above the crib clearly. you're way too used to being in here at night.

clement has put your daughter back down into her crib by now, and his hands are wrapped around the railing as he leans over it, looking down at her. he doesn't react when you come closer, and he doesn't move a muscle even when you place your hand on his shoulder. it's easy to understand that something is bothering him.

"what's on your mind?"

he turns to you and lets out a tiny exhale, as if it was a struggle for him to snap himself out of his thoughts. he shakes his head. "it's nothing."

"tell me," you press, giving his shoulder a soft squeeze.

"well, i…" he squeezes his eyes shut. "i'm kind of freaking out. it's been over four months, and… i still haven't adjusted."

"honey," you start, your hand moving to the back of his neck. "where is this coming from? so suddenly?"

"i don't know," he says with a sigh. "you've seen me lately, i've barely been able to fall asleep at all."

he opens his eyes again and gazes down into the crib, eyes softening once they land on the little bundle of love resting so peacefully. he follows the way her chest rises with her breaths, her slightly pouting lips, her tiny fists that are wrapped around her blankie.

"it feels like i'm the only one who's struggling. you're such a natural, you're doing so much better with her, while i just feel… hopeless."

you don't want to interrupt him – clement doesn't often speak about his deeper feelings, so now that he's finally going, you don't wish to stop his flow – but you have to say something. "i think you're doing really well."

"you actually think so?" he asks. though his gaze doesn't move an inch, he can still see you nodding in the corner of his eye. he takes a deep breath. "i've heard people say that new fathers go through things… that it takes time, that it takes patience- and i've tried to be patient, i really have. but…"

he finally looks at you, and his heart breaks slightly at the sight of your uneasy expression, the tension in your eyebrows and your worried eyes. he hates being the one to make you feel like this.

"i just can't get rid of this constant anxiety. it feels like i'm always stressing over something. over you, over her, over everything."

you relate to every word he says. being this young, you feel like you're stumbling through darkness most of the time, not knowing what to do. it's frankly a guessing game, with mostly correct guesses mixed with some bad ones, since neither of you have any prior parenting experiences. even though he may not see it or know it, you're going through the same things as him.

no one had expected for you to get pregnant at this age, and no one – not even the two of you – had expected for you and clement to actually keep the baby. and sometimes, way more often than you'd thought before, your youth and inexperience has been catching up with you.

it's hard, but at least you have each other.

you step closer, draping your arms around his shoulders in an instant. "it's alright," you whisper into the skin of his neck, your nose filling with that scent that's just so him, and you finally relax a bit. his hands find your waist, fingers caressing your sides through the flimsy material of your nightgown. "it's okay to feel like this. i do, too. i think… all new parents must feel it." you give his neck a soft kiss. "but they all get through it, don't they? and so will we."

he stays silent for a while before he nods slowly. "it's all just so… intimidating. i don't want to mess anything up."

"and you won't." you pull away slightly to look into his eyes. "i trust you fully, and-"

you're interrupted mid-sentence, the sound of your daughter stirring in her crib taking clement's attention away from you as he glances towards her. you see his adam's apple bob as she begins to whine, her fists clenching and face scrunching up. "should- can i take her?" he asks tentatively, hands trembling slightly on your sides.

you nod not even a second later, stepping out of his embrace to give him no excuse to hold back. "go for it."

clement had bought every parenting guidebook he could find, and read every website with tips for new parents on the entire internet – and yet, nothing had prepared him for this nervousness that he's experiencing so often. he knew it wouldn't be smooth sailing all the way, but he hadn't expected to feel this uncertain in everything he does. even in the way that he picks his daughter out of her crib, he feels anxious that he's doing something wrong.

however, the second she feels her father's presence, it's far from the story that his anxiety has been making up for him. she lets out one last soft cry before, as if out of habit, nuzzling her face into his skin.

while clement has been struggling this whole time, you can't help but notice that she settles easily into his arms. like she belongs there; like she knows that he'll take care of her.

because he always does.

"see?" you say, letting a finger run along the curve of her cheek as you smile down at her. "that's not so bad, is it? you're doing so well."

considering all the difficulties he's faced, hearing these kind words of appreciation from you gives him comfort in a way that few other feelings can compare to. his gaze is still glued to your daughter, the precious little baby that is his entire world. well, half of his world – the other half is standing right next to him. "i love her, you know," he says softly. "even if she doesn't know it yet, i do. so much."

"i think she knows," you answer, watching as your boyfriend cradles her against his bare chest. he has loved the skin-on-skin contact since day one, and you're sure she does, too; her gentle babbling is always a sure sign that she's completely content. you can't hold back from smiling. "and she loves you just as much."

"sometimes i just can't believe that she's ours. that we made her." his eyes meet yours, nothing but pure love in them. "isn't it strange?"

"strange that we've done something good for once?"

he answers your tease by sticking out his tongue, nudging your shoulder with his, though gently enough to not bother the little one in his arms.

"come on, let's go back to bed," you say, leaning in to press your lips gently to the back of her head. "one night of co-sleeping can't be the entire world, can it?"

#f1 #f2 #formula 1 #formula one #formula two #formula 2 #elms #european le mans series #clement novalak #fluff #angst #x reader #x you #x yn #x y/n #imagine #scenario #fanfic #fic #romance

[httpiastri]

pepes hands in testing 😋😋

not gonna answer anymore asks today because i really gotta go to bed but how could i not answer this…….

#kill me now #what the frick #my camera roll is so embarrassing #🥲🥲🥲🥲 but its not my fault #pepe…… why are you doing this to me #gtg take a few deep breaths #asks! #anon!

[httpiastri]

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why is pepe so pretty???? like fr now

have you seen the stories and the post i wanna dieeeeeeeeee

he’s literally soo pookie

i wanna put him in my pocket jajajajajajajak

i need a pepe fic, im on my knees actually

i will do everything for a pepe fic, LIKE EVERYTHING 🙏🏼🙏🏼😀😀

im sorry for this but i couldn’t take it anymore 😭😭😭😭😭

AND I MISS YOU💜💜💜ly🩷

PEPEEEE !!!!!!!

you're right, he's SO pookie!! i aint never seen anyone this cute 🥺 during the first day of testing i was like "😠 why is everyone only posting pics of his car? let me see that cute face??", and then yesterday we got so much 🥰🥰🥰🥰🥰

#'i wanna put him in my pocket' s a m e #he looks like he could fit #even tho he's like 2 meters tall #cutie boy #he looks so cute in the middle (the story) 🥺 so tired #me and angie were talking about taking care of him when he's tired and like #having him resting on my chest… brushing my fingers through his hair and kissing his forehead and so on and so on #and ive not been able to stop thinking about it 😭😭 #i rlly wanna write something more for him heheheh i have an idea but idk when i'll have time to write…… #would love love to read some good cute pepe fluff 🥺🥺 #aaaaaa #asks! #pepe thoughts #alexandra <3

[httpiastri]

Pepe beat Theo’s Barcelona top lap time from last year 🤭🤭🤭

king shit !!!!!! 🤭 let's decide rn that this means that pepe will win this year 🥰🥰

#or at least a sign that things are good #he's fast and the team is working hard #i read his interview on the f2 website yesterday and he sounds wise #sounds like theyve got a good plan #im excited to see where it takes them :) #like even tho it's a bit weird of f2 to compare it to theo's lap since they're in different cars #it's still cool 🥰😁 #so happy for him #he deserves the world #asks! #lunar <3

[httpiastri]

Hey just wanted to say I love your account and Paul drinking prime is funny I’m not a fan of it 🤍

awee love im glad you like it !!! <33 and lmao i think we've seen him drink it before (or at least karl posting about it) but i was surprised bcs of the ongoing like lawsuit/investigation going on ?? about it being super dangerous ???? or maybe i was just tricked by tiktok lmao

#pls no dangerous toxins paul :( #asks! #anon! #white heart anon! #🤍!

[httpiastri]

more paul aron fics please…. Im Dying….. Not enough Paul… Neeed More………

SHSJSHSJS PLS 😭 im sorryyyy i feel like the only paul stuff i write on these days is "perfectly fine"…….. but i do wanna write something more for him 🥺

#though my head is empty #no inspiration #if you have any ideas/requests…. feel free to let me know :) #asks! #anon!

[httpiastri]

PLEASEEEEEEE something w paul inspired by espresso by sabrina I BEG YOU

aaaaaa i rlly wanna !!!! idk if i wanna make it just a part of the popstar!reader fic or a standalone one ?……

#im like out of ideas #nothing new is appearing in my head these days #all i do is write on the stuff ive already started #but gosh i love the song sm #well i mean i love sabrina tons so #asks! #anon!

[httpiastri]

Hellooo, I just wanted to request a new Oscar fic because I love the ones you have, but I’ve read them all and I need new content pleaseeee

awww i miss writing for oscar 🥺 i have an idea for an upcoming fic for him (and also an almost done one in my drafts but i don't like it that much lol) butttt if you have any specific requests, pls feel free to send them in !!! 💘

#my requests are always open hehe #asks! #anon!

[httpiastri]

Alex (Powell) is the biggest cutie ever. I don’t make the rules.

youre SO correct?? he's such an adorable little- 😭

#the whole prema f4 squad is so cute #loved them in the taylor/shakespear vid #<3<3 #asks! #anon! #alex powell

[httpiastri]

i miss 🎀 anon and college pepe 😥

i do too :(((( thinking about them all day every day

#im too un-creative these days to come up with anything myself #i cant do anything #need bow anon backs so i can cry a little over some cute college!pepe ideas #asks! #anon!

[httpiastri]

i miss f2 so badddd, like why it cant be 17th may already

i miss my boys😔😔😔(my pookies)

me waiting for the return of f2 ^^

#honestly thoooo #this sucks so much #i miss them way too much #i shouldnt be feeling like this lmao #but im :(((( #miss my emotional support boys #who decided that the races should be that far away anyway???? #its an even longer break than the summer break #wth #seven weeks without racing....... #just three weekends until it's race week again 🙃 we can do it #also testing this week 🥰 at least something to be happy about #asks! #alexandra <3

[httpiastri]

cant stop thinking about popstar!reader when i hear sabrinas newest song

OMG same ?? the like general vibe of it, the bubblyness is so popstar!yn coded. yn being so energetic and sweet, paul being like ?? why am i up all night thinking about her ????

"i'm working late cause i'm a singer; oh he looks so cute wrapped around my finger" – pls she definitely has him wrapped around her finger 😭

#adorable #i love this au sm #asks! #anon! #paul x popstar!yn au

[httpiastri]

i'm alive, because-

pepe crumbs 🥰🥰🥰

#he looks so good 😍😍😍😍😍 #(yes im delirious) #missing him way too much #f2 #formula two #formula 2 #pepe marti

[httpiastri]

i find it quite embarassing how sometime I GIGGLE when I see jmc content. man is just so charming and his story is so admirable. he looks like the type would keep his s/o safe IDK JUST BASED ON HIS ENERGY AND VIBES

(no one ask but I have to let this out once, thank God the anon feature is a thing)

i relate to this SO MUCH. what is it about pepe that makes me giggle for real ?? i don't get it ???? sure it happens sometimes with other drivers too but with pepe it's like 99.9% of the time 😶 something about him is just way too adorable i guess?? my body can't handle it???

but yes he's so so charming, such a sweetheart. so kind and gentle and :(( oh and 100% feels like he would do his best to keep his s/o safe, like we've talked before about his love language being acts of service and 🥺 i rlly see him as the type to always take care of his partner when sick, buy them whatever they need, give them massages, etc.... and why do i have a thought abt him being pretty protective and easily jealous? 😭

#pls dont say that no one asked #i asked #if you ever need a reason to send me an ask about pepe just remember that i live for them #can i just write here “pls send ur thoughts about pepe 🥰” so everyone has an excuse to keep them going #any thoughts about him is 🫶 #asks! #anon! #pepe thoughts

[httpiastri]

Did marcus and lissie break up? Can someone explain the issue before, I've read like cryptic tweets about lissie being controlling and not letting marcus see some of his friends is that true?

i totally get you, it's all very cryptic 😭 i think we're all just assuming that they broke up because #1 they haven't been spotted together, #2 she went to the first indy weekend but wasn't there with marcus, and #3 marcus seems more free these days lol

i answered this ^^ ask a month ago about the topic and im kinda in the same "i don't know anything but it seems very suspicious" state of mind 😶 so uh sorry to not be specific and not writing a lot about details but if you want me to explain better or if you wanna know more then feel very free to dm me <333

#in katie's post u can see examples of the controlling thing #and it's just kinda like #seeing stories of his friends being out and having dinner etc. but marcus isn't there... even tho he's currently in the same city... etc et #esp when some of the friends are... controversial..... so there would be a reason to be not allowed to go out #if that made any sense lol #asks! #anon!

[httpiastri]

Just the thought of of Paul worshipping you like the queen you are 🤍

🥺 i think paul would be good at this tbh, he knows that his love deserves to be worshipped so he will make sure that she knows it too <33

#always taking care of you #giving you what you deserve #waaaaaaaah #asks! #anon! #white heart anon! #🤍!

[httpiastri]

I never knew Paul was a cat dad I thought he had a dog or is that Ralf 🤍

idk about ralf tbhhhh but all i know is that paul said that he has had both cats and dogs all of his life 🤷‍♀️

#very cute tho 🥺 #asks! #anon! #white heart anon! #🤍!