hysteriapilled

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sermonize, urge me to listen

i stand before you vulnerable

a sanctuary of my own selves

yet i cannot admit my faults

sermonize, urge me to listen

demand my self righteousness, yours

make a congregation of my feelings

sermonize, urge me to speak

#church of escapism #baptize the words i refuse to speak

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How I asked silence it's opinion and was met with the loudest one of all

#self reflection

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Grief runs in my blood like an attenuated disease

It protects me only from the cyclical nature of itself

Unable to fend off my other dwellings

How effective is an immunity that shields one issue

And leaves the other roaming unattended

#home

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I feel out of place even when I am puzzled in the right position. It's like my nook and cranny reject every crevice of inclusion.

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i hope one day ill get to the point

where i feel my thoughts

with pure, raw emotion

where i create them

channel them

compose them

and let them go

where i am the conductor who has their own performance

moving a finger and causing a madness

where i find power in the melodies of overthought

that accompany me

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deadwood on a desperate tree

im slowly deteriorating

i am sullen coloured leaves at the end of september

falling, stacking the deck of my own misery

i am overly amenable of others flaws

i feel it makes up to the lack there of to myself

i am my mothers daughter,

queasy when i hollow out my feelings to her

mirroring the rot in her heart

when i find myself buried in her shoes

it looks to me like i cant escape the fate of her portrayal through me

she is the branches of unkept greenery

latching onto my roots

someday i will gather the strength to be my own lumberwoman

my biggest fear is being a cotyledon of my mothers behaviour

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expression is a birthright

endowed to people whose words,

carry themselves with the air of an aristocrat

whose phrasing, so urbane

it plays with the chords of our heart

expression is liberty for the soul

the only remedy derived from man

"aut insanity homo, aut versus facit"

"the fellow is either mad, or he is composing verses"

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because when daylight adorns on a final spring sunday

i can almost feel the air of youth cast over me in the shape of a sun ray

my nights of missing summer wash aside

and in retrospect of a chilly blue lone winter

i was greeted with a heat crammed embrace

summer commits to me more than i ever had time to notice

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i used to live there

i used to sleep there

i used to wake up

used to pray there

i used to smile there

i used to feel there

i used to cry there

i used to love there

i used to breathe there

i used to live there

#home #homeisntjustahabitat #hometown #youcreatehome #ilostapartofmyselfwhenimovedandlefteverythingbehind #hysteriapilled #poetry #scrabblepostlol

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self concept luminal - ♡, follow my yt: hysteria 4more

#manifesting #manifestation #loa #law of assumption #gateway experience #neville goddard #self concept #self care #confidence #subliminals #subliminal #luminal #4hz #theta frequency

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Grimoire - Curses and Hexes

(Cursing and hexing have always belonged in my practice and always will. I'm not Wiccan. I don't believe in the Rule of Three and I don't follow the Threefold Law. Please don't attempt to preach the Wiccan Rede at me. If you have a problem with curses and hexes, then simply move past this page please.)

Curses vs. Hexes: What's the difference? Jinxes, Hexes, & Curses curses A few ways to protect yourself when casting curses, hexes, and bindings So You Think You've Been Cursed Signs you may have been cursed/hexed Nightmare Hex "You Feel The Pain You've Caused Me" Coffin Hex The Seven Stings Hex “Feel the Burn” Curse jar Jar of Consequences Hex Lapis Water Binding ‘To Sink a Sailor’ Spell Object Cursing Curses For Empathy Hekatean Witchcraft Curse Drown in your horrors curse “Have Nightmares Of Me” Inconveniencing Hexes RED HEART CURSE "From This Pain, I Will Rise" Curse Jar gentle curse Wither and Rot Protection Bottle To Banish and Bind - Curse Jar for Abusers Blood Rain Curse Jar My Pain to Yours Your Hatred Is Your Own (Curse Jar) Be Afraid Curse A Spell to Cause Impotence “Tell That Devil” Curse Flame Devil’s Curse Revenge Curse Insomnia Hex "Box of Terror" Curse The Lemon Hex Hex Bramble The Sorrow Pot - A Spell for Sadness ‘Red in Your Ledger’ Curse curse alternative The Healing Pool: A Cursebreaker Mild & Spicy Cursebreaker Powders Something to Consider before you Curse: Reversals baneful magic: net gain Lessons learnt from a hex Nightmare Curse Curse of Discord

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have you ever been so wildly attracted to someone you can actually feel it driving you insane

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little things about the Venus Signs

abstract dreamy things I associate with the Venus Signs in Astrology.

Aries Venus

Risk. Risks you take because you know that something exciting is on the edge of it. A good time. Fire and desire, a flammable combination you can’t help but be drawn too. Dependability. Someone who has your back. Moments to remember. Legs dangling off a balcony because when the wind moves, you’re filled with freedom and empowerment. Less thoughts. More actions. Weekends away, just because. Kisses in public, just because. Laughter. Belly laughs which’ll have you crying. Experiences to remember. Eye contact. Daring you to look away. A look that just does something to you. Promises something more.

Keep reading

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THIS IS SO FUCKING GOOD MAN

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- 𝙰 𝚁𝙴𝙰𝙳𝙸𝙽𝙶 𝙾𝙽 𝙴𝚁𝙴𝙽 𝙹𝙰𝙴𝙶𝙴𝚁'𝚂 𝙲𝙷𝙰𝚁𝚃 𝙱𝙴𝙲𝙰𝚄𝚂𝙴 𝙸 𝙷𝙰𝚅𝙴 𝙽𝙾𝚃𝙷𝙸𝙽𝙶 𝙴𝙻𝚂𝙴 𝚃𝙾 𝙳𝙾

Keep in mind that this might be inaccurate considering the information given is not canon, but from google. There will be no house readings since I can't even get a hold of his actual birth time so there is no rising sign (This is Eren's chart and how he would be if he were real, so don't take everything as factual)

𝐅𝐈𝐑𝐒𝐓 𝐎𝐅𝐅

Big 5 Analysis

- SUN IN ARIES. Your sun defines your ego, core identity, your authentic self and in my personal opinion it's not really an important placement in the chart, and more of a title basically. People born into Aries are usually perceived as loud, impulsive, raging and aggressive by others— but they're very caring and protective to the ones they love, though sometimes they sure can have bursts of anger. Eren is stubborn, he can't be chained down and refuses to sit back and watch the people he cares about get tossed around. He is a firm person, quick on his feet and rather very rushing, he's like a puppy excited to get his owner running laps around him, he's hyper and motivating; a natural leader. - MOON IN PISCES. Your moon is your emotional side, how you feel, how you perceive feelings and how you process them. Eren with moon in Pisces is definitely not surprising to me— He is dreamy, intuitive, compassionate and he's either too dependable on others or just an overthinker. Though he may not seem like it Eren is very vulnerable and even prone to getting addicted to substances (alcohol, drugs, bad habits etc.) It's not the best placement in my standpoint, as he can get very affected by his surroundings and others. He can't turn a blind eye and NOT take shit to heart and rather stores it inside and holds onto it. He's very empathetic, he feels people's emotions and feels them well, to the point that he himself experiences what they are going through. - MERCURY IN PISCES. Eren has a LOT of Pisces placements so prepare to see a ton of empathy and psychic abilities in his aspects. Your Mercury is how you think, speak and learn. I sense that Eren has really great vulnerability which might not be a good thing, he trusts people too much and rather relies on them for heaps of things, he can be easily manipulated which is why he should refrain from letting everyone in. On the other hand, he is a very dreamy person and gets lost in his imagination at times. He sees the world in another, imaginative lens, and often could find himself daydreaming randomly. I can see that Eren has a hard time letting go of the past and he can even be linked to people in his life he hadn't seen in years. In terms of rational thinking he isn't the best, as he can't distinguish the logical from the emotional which is definitely something he should work on, he gets often blinded by the illusion of his overwhelming emotions toward others. He can also definitely have an eye to art since his imagination is extravagantly wide.

- VENUS IN TAURUS. Your mercury is your idea of love and how you give it and prefer to receive it— Eren's idea of romance is full of sensuality and gifts, he'll spoil you with his utter loyalty and generally with things too. Devotion is daily, he's extremely honest and would rather die than lie to you. Emphasis on sensuality, Eren craves touch and I could sense that his love language is physical touch, he will shower you with affection and fulfill your needs any time of the day. Taurus in Venus are all about comfort and coziness with their lover, so I can see that Eren loves cuddling, massages, food, sleepovers, intimate little things like that strike a chord in his heart. He can be possessive and jealous of times, he hates change specifically big ones in relationships—He can also take a long time to get to know you and prefers taking things slow and steady rather than rushing into it. I can also feel that he loves hard-workers, people who are dedicated and responsible (that's definitely his type). - MARS IN CAPRICORN. Two words. Goal driven. Your Mars is your approach towards anger and impulses as well as your sexuality aspects. Eren is self-controlled and refuses to take orders from others, he can't be chained down not because he's stubborn, but simply because he can't allow himself to stop. He has a tendency to shut out the world to pursue his objective— he moves forward (not a pun) and is willing to fight against everything and everyone to reach his goal, he isn't petty as he considers little quarrels a waste of time and energy. He likes to focus on the big problem at hand, not how to fight and win the battle but how to prepare for conquering the war once and for all. Eren with this placement knows that he is entitled to earn what he works hard for and will not let anything stop him. Mars signs can also affect appearance so I sense that Eren has very prominent and broad cheekbones, a serious face, and a very stiff, steady voice like he's about to command something. It can also be an intimate, velvety and cold voice and on the topic of intimacy— He usually prefers seeing you face to face and rather dislikes social media flings. He comes with a natural inclination to assume a dominant role in bed and he does what doesn't bother him (kink-wise) His temper is so icy, and he could definitely be on the sadomasochism spectrum. He's very soft in nature so if something was bothering you he'd instantly be turned off. Eren can be aggressive and intense but he may not specifically get off on pain (or he may) more like he finds the idea of being in control a very satisfying idea.

𝐒𝐄𝐂𝐎𝐍𝐃 𝐎𝐅𝐅

2. Jupiter, Saturn, Uranus, Neptune & Pluto Analysis

- JUPITER IN AQUARIUS. Your Jupiter is where you can receive the most luck and love, without you really doing much. It’s where you can catapult to happiness and success through quickest routes possible, within reason. I can tell from previous placements that Eren is a firm believer in standing for what you think is right. He is very opinionated and sometimes a bit too much— Some of his beliefs or theories can be brilliant and genius and others quite nonsensical and implausible, he rushes into throwing the first opinion just for the sake of throwing it first. Any analytical work about objective themes would come easily to him. Passion and enthusiasm will come astonishingly fast too as he can actually stun society with his innate knowledge with complicated subjects. Any scientific, technological, or perhaps just general abstract topics will benefit Eren greatly in subtle and/or unsubtle ways. He takes leaps of faith and believes what his eyes cannot see or what his mind cannot grasp. Simply what makes everything work out so well for him is the open minded love he puts into his theories. Sometimes though, he fears judgement people give to his methods as they are sometimes out of the box and peculiar. Eren would have to let go of his attachment to what other people think about his ways on solving or analyzing. - SATURN IN LIBRA. Your Saturn sign is your life’s obstacles and challenges, the rewards that come with time, and the discipline you need to achieve your goals. To start off with friendships, Eren cares about others and is tireless in serving others—he's also prone to putting others before him (others as in the people he cares about) And supporting his moon and mercury Pisces, he is very artistic and helps civilize those who need the lessons. The companionship he seeks can often give him solace and security, with his comrades support he feels a lot more powerful and in self-control. In relationships though Eren may tend to have a bit of an inferiority complex when it comes to relationships and is afraid of rejection & may try to shut himself away or run if the going gets tough. He is very drawn to mentor types, and may often be with someone older and wiser. Despite that he still finds a way to assume the dominant role in the relationship due to his cold nature. Eren commits to artful projects, making it possible to live his dreams by seeing them to completion, he finds it very gratifying and has mental discipline when he finds activities that matches his high ideals. His sense of social justice is heightened, that could get him into law, politics and activism—His firm belief in himself also plays a big role in this, his bravery allows himself to sacrifice whatever he has to, to get the job done. Chaos, crassness, and ugliness can cause him a lot of anxiety and fear, and with his persistence to right the wrong he gets really frustrated when people don't have an outlook to life the same as his. I sense that it may be hard for Eren to accept that only he is able to control himself, and it's a hard pill for him to swallow.

- URANUS IN PISCES. As I mentioned before Eren's chart is dominated with Pisces placements, his intuition works at another wavelength than that of the common people, and for this reason, he is in a much deeper connection to the spirit world. He can sense the occult and this acts as a form of guidance for him, an anchor to support his meanderings through life’s challenges. Pair that up with his splendid imagination and innovative spirit, and you get someone who’s afraid of failure even when he’s not doing anything out of the ordinary, the worst thing that could happen to Eren is failing and losing his sense of validation. He’s a negativist ( I can see Eren as a cynical person later on in life, a realist would fit his philosophical belief) but, he should let his intuition and connection to the spirit world heal this part of his, instead of allowing everything to work against him. He won’t let himself be fooled by naïve ideals, even though he likes believing in them. He can be quite realistic and logical when the situation calls for it and that's quite ironic considering he's indulged in his imagination most of the time. - NEPTUNE IN SAGITTARIUS. This is one hell of a placement. Experimentation with different beliefs, spiritual strands, and esoteric-based teachings are all things Eren finds interest in. He cannot deny the divine existence truly and indefinitely to himself- even if he does so to others, there is always the gnawing sense that ‘there is something more,’ and one day he may regret not finding out what that is. His gift is bringing the joy of shared faith and spirituality together, making the sect he resonates with part of his life’s philosophy. We can tell by now that Eren's purpose is seeking truth, absorbing information and looking at the world in a different lens. - PLUTO IN PISCES. Shawty Bae here can also can be more passive aggressive when trying to get what he wants. This means he can be manipulative at times. This is the only time he ever makes a power play. When he is struggling to achieve something for the greater good. (THIS ACTUALLY RESONATES WITH HIS PLAN) But this desire for control is never executed maliciously. He wants things to go his way so he doesn't disappoint those who are counting on him. Eren can be very sensitive, and it’s important to him that he doesn't let anyone down. He so desperately want to help people that he sometimes sacrifices his health and well being, and even somtimes the well being of others just for the outcome to turn out best.

𝐋𝐀𝐒𝐓𝐋𝐘

3. Chiron (Scar)

- CHIRON IN PISCES. Your Chiron sign in astrology shows where you sustained your deepest wound, your scar— It can never be completely healed, but they can be worked with and transmuted. Eren with Chiron in Pisces, we've already talked about many Pisces qualities in him (empathy, psychic abilities, imagination etc.) But the Chiron has a lot more depth into it, Eren might have a deep fear of being hurt by the universe or the forces at play. He might feel that the world is unfair or merciless and doesn't have his back almost every time. He has a sense of betrayal, and that leads him into cynicism (mentioned before in his Uranus placement) He felt that nobody was there for him when he needed it the most and he also feels a sense of victimization. This placement has a lot to do with the idea of FATE. Even subconsciously Eren feels he was dealt an unfair life, I can also feel that his way of coping is feeling someones grief right alongside them. Sympathyzing is definitely his way of forgetting about his own problems. Even though Eren doesn't exactly victimize himself he still can't understand why the universe is set up this way— he feels that the world isn't fair to him and his loved ones. Although all this scarring shows when he indulges himself in an immense shell of cynicism, then he hops between two places; Not feeling empathy for others since nobody offered empathy to him - or sympathyzing greatly and putting others' needs before his. It is easy for him to shut his feelings out but only with the help of substances which makes him more prone to getting addicted. This placement was created at some point in the past when Eren needed something badly and didn’t get it (sometimes the wound stems from a past life, but this stemmed from his childhood) Maybe it's because he felt insignificant to someone he felt was an idol to him, maybe this figure or idol was never there to nurture him and the probability of him having a lost close one in early childhood days is a very probable cause in how this Chiron stemmed.

BONUS:

- I get massive ISFP vibes from early Eren and INTJ from late him.

- His Venus Taurus makes him very romantic, so I feel like this would be his favorite song to dance to

#erenjaeger #eren #jaeger #snk #aot #shingekinokyojin #attackontitan #astrology chart #chart reading #sun #moon #rising #aries #pisces

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little things about the saturn signs

little dreamy, abstract things about the Saturn signs in Astrology.

Aries Saturn

― Skin stretched across the ridges of the knuckle. Screaming into a pillow. Droplets of sweat formed at the base of the neck. Fight or flight mode. A slow tick in the jaw. Ice cold showers. One rep too many. Steam coming from the spout of a kettle. Boxing gloves, in a corner. Paying the price for impulsive decisions. Tunnel vision. Giving the ego props, but not all the credit. Pacing oneself. Coal catching light at a barbecue. Rugby uniform, two sizes too big. A toddler falling down on soft grass.

Taurus Saturn

― Pennies in a jar. A set, of fine china, accumulated over time. Vinyl played on a Crosley Cruiser. Scrambling to make rent day. Multiple bank accounts. Paying cash over card. White lilies, a centrepiece on the dining table. Buying the same product over and over again. Loyalty cards. Slow cooking. Aeration of bread. A short stroll after dinner. Shoes buffed and shined, by the front door. Crystal cut glass housing clear liquid. The finest dinnerware brought out for special occasions.

Gemini Saturn

― A tickle in the throat. Coughing before a point is made. Audiobooks. The chewed cap of a pen, between the teeth. Stuttering. Restless eyes. Amber glow of a traffic light. Staying up all night to consume information. Aux cables. Permeant creases to the spine of a thick reference book. Last call in a library before closing time. Indentations on a stress ball. A silver tongue. Taming the mind to find peace. Soft vibrations from an electric toothbrush. A keyboard resting on the wall. Breathing exercises before a presentation.

Keep reading

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LOVE LANGUAGE

What your Venus Sign says about your favorite place to be physically touched. 𝐅𝐈𝐑𝐄 𝐒𝐈𝐆𝐍𝐒 1. Aries: This sign rules the head. More specifically the brain, the eyes and even the hair. Generally, Aries dominant people, or ones who have an Aries Venus enjoy head and face massages— including eyebrow fondling. They also thoroughly enjoy having their hair played with, especially deep down in the scalp. [ I've actually rarely met an Aries dominant without thick, curly hair] 2. Leo: This sign rules the upper back, heart, and spine. People with this dominant sign or this sign in their Venus will melt to the thought of having their back rubbed. Anything from softening knots on their shoulder/upper back to general chiropractic treatment on their spine is a personal favorite. They are passionate lovers in bed, so rubbing circles across their spine will get them going (as well as love bites all across the back) 3. Sagittarius: This sign rules the thighs, hips and legs. Sagittarians usually have beautiful, slender legs. If people with this sign in their Venus do a little toning in their thighs, they would look gorgeous. Obviously, thigh fondles and touches on the hips (especially grinding, bucking hips forward) is the way to go— and if we're getting a bit freaky— then inner thigh kisses are a turn on. 𝐀𝐈𝐑 𝐒𝐈𝐆𝐍𝐒 1. Gemini: This sign rules the arms, shoulders, hands and fingers. As you can clearly tell, they probably get butterflies thinking about hand holding. Hand kisses, shoulder massages, kisses across the arm, on the palms and specifically on the inner area between their palm and their fingers. Anything around these would most probably be a massive turn on to Geminis. 2. Libra: This sign rules the buttocks waist and skin. If you are a Libra dominant then you must have particularly good skin and a sense of balance in its tone. People with this sign in their Venus enjoy waist caressing, waist grabbing (hugs from the back and arms slung around the waist) spanking/ass grabbing as well as fondles on the buttocks— and to be specific they'd enjoy snuggles with their lower back grabbed. 3. Aquarius: This sign rules the ankles, calves and shins (sounds odd, I know) Much like Sagittarians people born into this sign have very beautiful legs, and they wouldn't appreciate giving them less treatment than they deserve. They love calve massages (loosening knots on their calves after a tiring day) holding their ankles up in a tight hug, pressing and fondling their shins. 𝐄𝐀𝐑𝐓𝐇 𝐒𝐈𝐆𝐍𝐒 1. Taurus: This sign rules the throat and neck. People born into this sign tend to have sweet voices or a musical inclination especially in singing. On the other hand, they enjoy some good, sensuous neck kisses—bites and especially hickeys (marks across the neck) . Some might even love a little choking or grasping onto their throat. 2. Virgo: This sign rules the guts, stomach and lower belly. People with a Virgo Venus may enjoy belly rubs (kisses/marks and even bruises on occasion if kinky) If the person has a very toned stomach/abs they definitely have a thing for getting them licked upon. 3. Capricorn: This sign rules the knees to the joints. They usually have a very strong bone structure. Without beating around the bush, they enjoy slapping across the knees (spanking) anything that has to do with making their knees weak, they usually enjoy kneeling down— sitting on their laps is also a definite turn on (for Capricorn males) 𝐖𝐀𝐓𝐄𝐑 𝐒𝐈𝐆𝐍𝐒 1. Cancer: This sign rules the chest, breast and ribs. Both men and women of this sign might have large busts. To no ones surprise people under this sign love breast rubs (teasing on the chest) kisses, marks, hickeys, licks, fondling and caressing and anything across their breasts. (They might find themselves with a breastfeeding kink at times) 2. Scorpio: This sign rules the sex organs. Where to start, honestly. People born into this sign or are dominant in Scorpio usually have a high sex drive. Anything within intercourse is top intimacy to them. (Oral—both receiving and

giving too) As well as fondles across their lower region. 3. Pisces: This sign rules the feet. Now this might sound a bit odd but people with Pisces dominant or a Venus Pisces find foot massages greatly enjoyable, especially between the toes.(They probably have a fantasy to be praised by having their feet kissed) Pisces are more likely to have a foot fetish (Not necessarily, but most likely)