hyuckbeam

[hyuckbeam]

i feel like tumblr blocked my fics from the tags bc ive been so ia oh noes 😭😭😭

#hyuckbeam speaks #i wonder if i can check if i rlly got blocked #maybe its just an issue…

[hyuckbeam]

silent i love yous

you’d think a simple crush that started before you could even write your name properly would have been forgotten long ago, but the truth is, it hasn’t left your side (and neither has your crush but you suppose it’s just because you’re best friends).

pairing | childhood bff!jaemin x reader

genre | fluff, tiny amounts of angst, growing up together, a lot of pining

warnings + notes | bf!yangyang, reader gets called pikachu (don’t ask why- it just happened), reader kind of uses yang as a rebound, hints of jaemin being possessive though nothing crazy, cursing, mentions of food

wc | 5.7k words

a/n | i’m so sorry this took a long while because i was literally buried in acads (🗣️ BOO SCHOOL ‼️) but i’m back now with the last segment to the tttc series!! i do feel a little down that this is the final part but i still have a bunch of other things in store so i wish that you’ll all stay tuned for those too <33 thank you for supporting the entire series and i hope to see you in another one of my fics :> rbs, likes, and feedback are highly appreciated!! 💗

song recs | cupid - fifty fifty, glue song - beabadobee, written in the stars - wendy & john legend

tttc m.list, main m.list

you can vividly recall the first time you met jaemin like it was yesterday.

it was in the middle of spring and you were about to attend your first day at a new kindergarten because you had just moved into town. it was safe to say you felt the usual jitters of starting fresh in a new city. admittedly, any toddler of your age would feel the same if they were dragged away from the first friends they ever made.

your father had accompanied you to the nursery center, making sure you weren’t late for the day. “remember what papa told you?” he asks softly whilst fixing the straps of your bright yellow duck backpack.

“yup. say hello to the teacher and um… i forgot the other thingy you told me.” you utter out, a sheepish grin being displayed in hopes you wouldn’t be scolded for not remembering.

he sighs endearingly at your expression, patting your head in a light motion. “don’t be afraid to make new friends, okay? the kids here are really nice too!”

“if you say so, papa.” you state, squinting your eyes at him with skepticism.

“is papa ever wrong?”

“no…”

your father simply chuckles at your response before making a small gesture for you to head inside. “papa will pick you up right after, hm? go have fun.”

with a final nod, you place a small peck on your father’s cheek before heading inside. as soon as you step through the entrance’s doors, an older woman introduces herself to you as mrs. lee, the main teacher in the kindergarten. she proceeds to lead you to a room with colorful walls and paintings, a couple of kids scattered around.

“everyone!” mrs. lee singsongs in a bright tone, catching the attention of everyone in the room. “we have someone joining us today. could you all take your seats for a moment? i promise it wont be long!”

you wonder if mrs. lee has magic powers or something similar for how quickly everyone followed her instructions – it surely wasn’t like this at your last kindergarten. quietly, you watch as each of the kids stop whatever they're doing, most of them facing mrs. lee and awaiting her next task. one of the kids, however, doesn’t look at the teacher but at you.

it was a little odd considering he was the only one doing so, the two of you holding eye contact for no longer than five seconds before mrs. lee asked you to introduce yourself to the class.

“um, hello. my name is l/n y/n and i hope we can all be friends.” you flash a quick smile, noticing the same boy from earlier return your smile with one of his own. again, it was odd – not that he smiled back, but that you noticed him once more amongst the sea of other children in the room.

he does have a pretty smile, you think to yourself.

maybe the two of you would get along? you sure hoped so since he seemed to be the most inviting of your presence.

“y/n, why don’t you sit beside that young boy right there?” your teacher points to the seat right next to the kid you were just thinking about. did mrs. lee have telepathy as another one of her superpowers?

sure enough, you were not one to complain, quickly moving through the room to get to your designated seat and slinging your backpack to hang by the frame of the chair before taking a seat down.

“psst, y/n.” your ears perk up at the whispy sound, swiveling your head towards the direction of the boy who’s been garnering your attention all morning. “let’s be friends like you said earlier! my name is jaemin.”

if your eyes could sparkle, you think they’d definitely be doing that after the boy’s (who you discovered his name to be jaemin) invitation to be friends. “mhm! i’d like that a lot!”

“let’s play later outside! i’ll show you my favorite spot.”

“oooh, it better be special.” you giggle out, already intrigued by the boy.

he quickly clicks his tongue, “with those sparkly effects and everything! you’ll love it.” seemingly proud to show off his spot.

you’re reminded of your father’s words from earlier. the kids at this kindergarten are going to be just as nice (if not nicer) than the ones from the previous center you attended.

you suppose papa is never wrong, after all. you’re going to get along with the kids here just fine.

a few years pass by and your friendship with jaemin has continued to blossom, seeing as you find the boy at your house more often than not.

even on this sunny saturday afternoon, here he is making himself at home in your room, lying down on your bed as he plays a videogame on his gameboy advance. god knows it's too darn hot to play outside right now anyways.

“y/n, look look! i caught a level twenty pikachu.” jaemin announces gleefully after the successful capture of the aforementioned pokemon.

you come closer to check, plopping yourself beside him before watching him continue playing. “is that rare?”

“i’m pretty sure it is!” he replies, busily pressing a few more buttons on his game console. “isn’t it so cute? i think i’m going to name it y/n.”

“eh? why are you naming it after me?” you snort out, finding his choice to be a little absurd.

he nonchalantly shrugs his shoulders, typing out the letters to your name in replacement for the pikachu’s actual name. “you’re both cute, that’s why.”

you're not sure why but the simple and short compliment has heat creeping up your cheeks, flustered by how blunt your best friend was being — albeit, you were resembling the aforementioned pokemon a little too well right now.

“pfft, quit joking, na.” you speak up in hopes of diverting the situation.

“who said i was joking? look.” he places his gameboy on your lap, your name clearly displayed on the screen alongside the same familiar pokemon you saw a little while ago. “you’re my pikachu now, see!”

“i’m not a pokemon, you dummy.” you take one of your pillows from your bed, smacking jaemin right on the face and silently wishing he didn’t see the way your face had completely flushed by his words alone.

“hey! you should feel privileged right now-” the boy’s voice is slightly muffled by your pillow before moving it away from his face. “i’m not going to name anyone else as one of my pokemon.”

“except me?” you gesture to yourself with a finger, still looking anywhere else but directly at him.

“well, yeah cause you’re my best friend.” suddenly, your heart no longer feels like it's running a million miles per hour, realizing you would only be a best friend to the boy you’ve grown up with.

“right, your best friend.” you affirm in a mumble. “that’s exactly who i am.”

-0-

accepting jaemin will probably never feel the same way you do about him was no easy feat, yet you knew slumping around wasn’t going to do anything. as any other teenager would do, you decided to seek the wisdom of what most people in your ripe age would resort to: the wide, wide internet web.

you couldn’t believe you were doing something like this, but it wasn’t like you could run your frustrations through your parents. there’s a big chance they’d be supportive of your tiny crush, but you might just die out of embarrassment – you didn’t want that at all.

carefully, you type out the words “is it normal to like your best friend?” on your family computer, making a mental note to erase the search history once you were done. no one could know about your crush. not a single soul.

a couple more questions like “how do i know if i like my best friend” and “should i stop liking my best friend?” followed suit shortly after, and you read each and every one of the answers the internet gave you down to the punctuation at the end of each sentence.

this continued, til eventually, you had just one last question to ask the internet. sure, you were a little too invested and desperate for answers, but could you really blame your teenage self?

“what should i do to get my best friend to like me back?” you whispered to yourself as you mindlessly typed down your final query, pressing the enter button and waiting for results to pop up.

you scroll for a few minutes, not seeing anything that might actually just work- wait, scroll back a little, will you? that blog right there!

you hastily click on the website, reading “in order to gauge his feelings for you, try dating someone else and see his reaction.” this piece of advice would work in your favor – or at least, you belive it might.

though, you think dating might not be for you at this moment. perhaps you’ll save this idea for the future if your feelings for jaemin are still knocking at your heart.

-0-

news alert: you’re already in high school and those itchy feelings are still there. if anything, they’ve grown stronger over the years.

even if you knew you shouldn’t have trusted the advice your teenage self had obtained, you carried on with it – holding onto the small bit of hope that the boy you’ve been crushing on harbors the same feelings.

it wasn’t hard to find someone who liked you for your plan to set in motion. truthfully speaking, you (and jaemin) were pretty popular in the school you both attended. there were even times you received love letters from others, but your best friend always snagged them away before you could even read a word, saying excuses along the lines of how the letters all contained nonsense or something like that.

“can’t let them take my pikachu away from me!” he tuts, stashing the love letters he snatched into the deepest trenches of his backpack.

you gasp at the nickname, thinking he would’ve stopped using it by now. “hey, i remember telling you to stop calling me that!”

“really, y/n? i don’t recall…” he trails his words whilst flashing that same, pretty smile that has you weak in the knees, pretending like he’s innocent when he’s far from it. “do enlighten me.”

“oh, i’ll enlighten you alright-” you retort, already riling up your fist in preparation to bonk him in the head. “come here, you!”

a flash of urgency is seen through his eyes, feet preparing to run away from you. “hey hey hEY! WE DON'T NEED TO GO THAT FAR.”

“GET BACK HERE NA JAEMIN.”

yeah… it would usually end up like that, you recall.

this time, however, you’re eager to find someone to really see if jaemin would get jealous like the blog had predicted.

you meet a boy named yangyang from your home economics class, quickly becoming friends after you laughed at a meme he showed you while class was ongoing.

some plus sides include the fact that he’s pretty cute, has a great (if not one of the best) personalities out there, and knows how to be a gentleman. he’s practically a jack russell terrier in human form — all of which being characteristics you like in someone.

it surely doesn’t take long for the two of you to start going out. of course, you were only able to accept yangyang’s confession after the several nights of nagging and complaints stemming from your best friend had ceased.

deep down, you knew the relationship wasn’t going to last but you still wanted to give the budding feeling a chance because you didn’t have the heart to reject yangyang and wanted to see where it’d lead you.

maybe this is the little push you needed to get over your best friend.

in those moments you wondered if jaemin was actually jealous considering how frequent he tried creating all sorts of excuses to get you from sayibg yes to yangyang. maybe the website actually told hidden truths about friendships that were on the borderline of being platonic and romantic or maybe this was all just your thinking to justify your silly actions.

it’s probably the latter option.

nope, this was all a big scam, you tell yourself.

you knew you get attached to things easily- hell, you still have the stuffed bunny your parents gifted you back on your seventh birthday. yes, including the gift box it came with.

it was no surprise this plan of yours actually backfired because the distance you created from jaemin (now that you had a boyfriend) only made you want him more. you found yourself wondering what it’d be like going on dates with jaemin every time yangyang took you out.

it wasn’t like the latter’s company wasn’t enjoyable. in truth, it was far from it. you loved having someone else to rely on and have fun with, but there was always something that felt lacking to the way you felt about jaemin.

you felt guilty for even thinking about someone else during your night outs, hence you ended the relationship, but that didn’t mean the entire exchange didn’t hurt on your end.

you should’ve thought things through before acting on them.

and so here you were, wrapped around a fuzzy blanket on the couch of jaemin’s dorm room, scooping spoonfuls of ice cream into your mouth and occasionally sniffling as you work through a sobfest that occurred a measly thirty mintues after you broke up with yangyang.

you can’t believe he let you in without any questions asked. perhaps there really is a reason he’s called your best friend after all.

he slowly comes into view with a glass filled to the brim with warm water, offering it to you with an apologetic expression plastered onto his features.

“for goodness sake, don’t give me that look. i’m fine.” you murmur under your breath, burying yourself within the blanket before taking back another sniffle that threatens to leave.

“clearly not.”

“then your eyes are clearly broken.”

“i have twenty-twenty vision, y/n.” he quickly refutes, flashing you a wide grin whilst bringing the glass closer to you. “now, drink up.”

lightly scoffing at his claim, you finally take the water to drink, emptying the glass from its contents before handing it back to him, mumbling a ‘stubborn ass’ under your breath as you fix your position on the couch.

“could say the same to you.” jaemin chuckles, quipping back without any bite to his bark. “anyways, you feeling any better now?”

“yeah.” you reply calmly, the sniffling and tears long forgotten adter your light banter with him. “can’t say the same about your ice cream stash though…” now looking down at the almost empty ice cream tub in your arms with a bit of remorse for your actions.

“eh,” he shrugs, seemingly unaffected by you being the main perpetrator to his empty wallet. “if it gets you back into a good mood, it’s all worth it. the last thing i want to see is you cry.”

that moment has you swearing you did not just hear your heart thump louder than it usually does. there he goes again cementing down your already huge crush on him. sometimes, you just wish he’d stop because you keep interpreting his words the wrong way-

“cause, y’know, you look pretty ugly when you cry.” jaemin quickly adds right after just to tease you, the slightest hint of a smile pulling up the corners of his lips.

he just had to ruin your sentimental monologue, huh?

“na, i’m taking back every positive thing i’ve said about you over the years.”

“i’m not lying though- hey!” he yelps after you drag him down with you to the couch.

a couple seconds of silence pass the air, the two of you blankly staring at each other before he erupts into laughter with you following in suit.

“can i just say something real quick?”

“shoot.” you agree with a brief nod, awaiting what he had to say.

“i told you so.” he grins happily knowing he was right about the result of your short-lived relationship with yangyang.

“okay, actually, go shut up again.” you command with a laugh from how petty he was being, knowing the boy was too stubborn to follow your words anyways.

in times like this, you wondered if this was what it felt like to be jaemin’s significant other; to be wholeheartedly loved and cared for by him with light sprinkles of genuine laughter in between.

for some reason, college life made you long for the boy much more than you usually did, however, you knew better than to lead yourself on. it’s a miracle how your crush on him had lasted this long, but you think it's about time you give it a rest. you’ll make it up to your past self in a different lifetime, you hope.

it was five in the morning when you knocked on your best friend’s door, the stifled sound of shuffling coming from inside his dorm room. the door swings open, and instead of the boy you had anticipated to show up, his dorm mate’s head pops up much to your surprise.

”y/n? what are you doing here?” haechan asked as he rubbed his eyes open, voice groggy and hoarse to the ear. you pursed your lips at the guilt of having woken up the poor boy so early in the day.

“sorry, is jaemin up? i messaged him that we were going to get coffee at this hour yesterday…” you trail, wondering if your best friend had actually remembered your scheduled outing before classes would start. it was hard to meet each other recently during the prime hours of the day considering the two of you majored in different studies — he majored in photography and media while you went with creative writing. honestly, they weren’t far off if you based it on the nature of the course, yet your schedules were unfortunately complete opposites.

“nope. you, amongst all others, should know he sleeps like a rock.” haechan quips back with a light chuckle, sounding much more awake than he was a few moments prior. you’d like to believe the eye rubbing he did earlier must’ve worked.

you shake your head at the thought, now recalling why you were here in the first place. “yeah, i should probably go wake him up now, huh?”

“be my guest-” haechan yawns out, “i’ll be… going back to sleep.”

“sweet dreams, bud.” you bid the boy to look for your best friend’s room, the familiar hallway of their dorm leading you there. after knocking a couple of times and receiving no response in return, you twist the silver door knob that opens the door to his room. though it’s dangerous to leave the door unlocked while sleeping, you think this bad habit of his has a purpose for times like this.

there you find him peacefully sprawled out on his bed, sporting a plain, old white t-shirt and some bunny printed pajamas. his hair was tangled from tossing and turning all night, his blanket barely covering his body. you’ve seen this sight a plethora of times, yet it always brings you back to the days when you were both younger. he would sleep in the same position back then too whenever he stayed long enough for sleepovers, how cute. well- as far as ‘cute’ would go in a platonic sense.

yeah, that’s it. you’re trying to get over him, remember?

jaemin couldn’t be that kind of cute in your eyes anymore.

you bring a hand out to ruffle his hair, the gentle motion pulling him out of his slumber. “heyyy, you said you’d come with me to that one coffee shop today.”

jaemin had already been awake the moment he felt you card your fingers through the strands of his hair, yet the action only made him want to doze off more. it was a good thing he finally shot up once realizing he completely missed out on the coffee outing because he overslept. “shit. sorry, what time is it?”

honestly speaking, you didn’t mind the fact your meetup slipped his mind, simply pleased with being able to see him at least once despite the hectic schedules pushing you two further from each other. “um, a little past five twenty-” you state after bringing your phone out to check the time.

the faint light of the device allows you to see jaemin’s face and what seems to be bags hanging under his eyes.

had he not gotten much sleep the night before? maybe asking him out for coffee today was a bad idea.

“we can always reschedule! you look tired and i don’t really mind.”

despite all of his soul telling jaemin to get his butt out of bed because he already couldn’t see you as often as he’d like, the drowsiness that envelops him utterly wins by a long mile.

“could you stay here with me though? just like the old times.” he voices out lowly, still not fully awake yet. perhaps being half-awake is what pushes him to gently take hold of your wrist, silently pleading you’d keep him company till you’d have to leave for classes.

“okay. scooch over, dork. i wanna lie down too.” you giggle out, agreeing to his request before you could even think about it. if this was how he wanted to spend time with you, let’s just say you didn’t really mind as you shimmy your way under his covers, basking in the warm smell of his vanilla scented sheets.

it was truly reminiscent of all the times he would come over to yours, inviting himself in only to keep you company in the night. your arms instinctively surround his figure into a hug since you had gotten used to sleeping with your bunny stuffed toy for so long, pulling him incredulously close in search of warmth to shield you from the morning chills that seeped through the crevices of his windows.

this was totally something normal friends would do, right?

people normally snuggle their best friends, right…?

at least, that’s what you hope he thinks because your heart might just be bungee jumping off a cliff.

“wake me up by eleven, okay? my first class starts at twelve.” you pretend to mumble out mindlessly in order to snap yourself out of your thoughts, still not realizing you’ve practically attached yourself to jaemin like a koala.

the boy only hums in agreement, allowing himself to be used like a pillow since he knows it helps you sleep better, even if his back would be the one to suffer later on.

“go get some rest, baby.” is the last thing you hear before your mind drifts off to his heartbeat.

-0-

a rustling motion has your eyes taking their sweet time to flutter open from your slumber. that might have just been the best nap you’ve ever taken in the past three weeks since you haven’t felt this refreshed in a while.

disoriented having just woken up, you realize you’re not in your room, completely forgetting the fact you decided to get some shut eye at jaemin’s instead. you reach out for your phone, to check the time — 1:27 pm displayed in a big, bold font. the haunting sight completely kicks your drowsiness away.

“i’m fucking late…” you whisper to yourself, almost as if you’re in disbelief. were you still dreaming? gosh, your teacher is going to count this as another cut-

“i called in sick for you.” jaemin utters from your side, a relieved sigh coming out of your breath. truthfully, you had utterly forgotten he was right there, and judging by the messy bed hair he’s sporting, he still probably hasn’t gotten out of bed yet.

“i told you to wake me up though.” you whine, feeling slightly betrayed your best friend didn’t follow through.

“you needed the rest, just look at you.” he states, gesturing at your figure. “you knocked yourself out in less than five minutes after hogging my bed.”

feeling shy after getting called out, you simply wrap yourself back into bed with your share of jaemin’s blanket. a few more minutes couldn’t hurt.

it seems like jaemin thinks the same, not moving an inch out of bed despite it already being a little into the afternoon.

the comfortable silence has your brain slipping into all sorts of thoughts. for some reason, the one thing that stuck out the most was what jaemin told you before you drifted off to sleep earlier.

what was it again? go get some rest, baby?

baby?

without a second to spare, you’re over here choking on thin air.

the suddenness alarms your best friend, prompting him to sit up and pat your back until you stop coughing. “what happened, you okay?”

“yeah, yeah.” you reply, voice strained. “was just thinking of something.”

“penny for your thoughts?”

“um… maybe some other time, jaem.”

it’s been a week since that incident and you’re pretty sure your crush on jaemin is unfortunately never going to cease. it just keeps growing larger and you wonder how long you can keep hiding your feelings from him. the bubble has to burst eventually, right?

you just hope it wouldn’t be too soon. you didn’t even know how he feels about you. theres a fifty percent chance he’ll reject you on the spot and you’re not sure if you’re willing to take that risk. hell, you can’t even win any of your 50/50s in that one gacha game. who’s to say you’d win it this time?

perhaps that same notion is what prompted you to avoid any form of contact with your best friend since then. just what were you going to do with your feelings? it wasn’t as simple as throwing trash out the bin (safe to say you would’ve already done that by now if it were humanely possible).

the last thing you want is lose all those years of friendship you’ve built together. that also meant that you’d have to be content with just being his friend — which you aren’t… but that can remain a problem for future you.

the present you had to deal with just how you were going to give jaemin an explanation of why you’ve been steering clear of his path. no one ever deserves to get ghosted, by a close friend no less.

you pick up your phone to mindlessly toy with it, hoping some magical being would come to your service and sweep you away from your misery.

as you do, haechan’s caller id suddenly flashes through the screen of your phone- is he the magical being you were just daydreaming about…? you doubt it but you answer the call anyways.

“hello, y/n?” the male’s voice rings through the speaker a little too loudly, causing you to jolt and tone down the volume of your phone.

“yeah?” you ask, rubbing your ears to soothe them from the shock. “what is it?”

“did erm, you and jaemin have a fight or something? he hasn’t come out of his room in about two days and i’m a little worried.” he explains, a hint of nervousness lacing his words.

jaemin hasn’t left his room? oh gosh, what if he hasn’t had anything to eat yet? he must be starving… “i’ll come over.”

“thank you so much, i owe you one, y/n.”

“anytime!” the sound of you picking up your bag is faintly heard through the call. “i’ll see you in a bit, haechan.”

you quickly end the call, slinging the strap of the bag you just picked up over your shoulder before leaving the house and making a mental note to pick up two soft serve ice cream cones from the convenience store nearby as a tentative peace offering.

it doesn’t take you long to reach jaemin and haechan’s apartment, more specifically a solid five minutes. that just might be a personal record. you struggle to knock on their door while carrying all the snacks you bought from the convenience store, but you’re sure haechan would notice your arrival anyways.

and he does, swinging the door open for you as if on cue. he looks a little surprised to see the paper bag of treats you’re carrying, eyeing you like he’s asking for an explanation on how you managed to buy all that and arrive so quickly.

“i took track and field during junior high!” you respond with a smile, a total lie yet haechan seems to buy it, letting you in without any further questions.

“you really didn’t have to buy anything- let alone this much.” he states, offering to take the bag to set it aside.

“it’s really alright!” you quip back, “i’ll go check on jaemin now.” taking one of the ice creams you bought before going to your best friend’s room.

now that you're standing in front of it, your nerves start acting up and a sense of fear overtakes you. jaemin’s right on the other side and who knows what he’s going to say to you. would he get mad? lash out on how you’ve been avoiding him? hell, he could even give you the silent treatment.

though you were only delaying the inevitable. you had to face him eventually. calling out his name before stepping in, you find him sitting on the plush mattress of his bed — not an ounce of grin tainting his features whatsoever. in fact, it looks like he had been waiting for you this entire time.

“so you never cooped yourself in for that long?” you quickly cut to the chase, not forgetting to hand him the ice cream you brought along.

a grin shoots up the corners of his lips, gladly taking the sweet treat and unwrapping it. “how else was i supposed to get you to come here? seems like you’d only show up if i made it sound concerning. hyuck actually did pretty great during the call, he should before a theater kid one day-”

“you scared me! you fucking idiot.” you cut him off, sending a light punch to his shoulder.

“sorry, sorry! forgive me.” he pleads through the chuckles that escape him.

the sound of his laugh sends a swarm of butterflies to your stomach. just how were you going to drop your feelings when he acts like this around you?

there was still one way. confessing to finally get over your silent crush.

now might actually be the best time to bring it up and get it over with considering he seems to be in a good mood — already anticipating the rejection.

at least this would turn to something you’d laugh about in the future and you’d be able to finally get over him if you do.

“look, jaem. we… have to talk.” you start, fingers fiddling amongst themselves behind your back.

he responds with a simple nod and silence. a sign for you to continue.

“i want you to listen to what i’m about to say, you don’t need to respond or anything, okay?” you explain, taking a deep breath before continuing. “i’ve actually liked you for some time now- i mean a long while now. i know this probably sounds weird but i’m trying to put an end to it, i swear! so please, continue to be my friend because i can’t stand the idea of losing you just because of a few silly emotions of mine.”

you end feeling like a burden had been lifted off your shoulders, prompting you to smile despite everything. perhaps letting the cat out of the bag was a good thing for you. you won't mind the rejection about to come soon after.

though, a laugh from the boy at your side catches you off guard. did he think your entire speech was funny? you swear he’s seriously gonna get it-

“sorry, i shouldn’t have laughed.” jaemin states, calming down from his little burst earlier. “it just that i can’t believe you didn’t notice anything.”

“what-”

“do you really think i’d waste time and energy nagging my roommate to call someone over on purpose if i didn’t like them?”

“um, no…? that doesn’t seem like something you’d… oh.” now you get it. what you thought were mixed signals had been clear all along.

“did you really think i was going to reject you?” jaemin takes a step closer to your figure. the proximity turning your brain into slush.

“actually, yeah. you have all the right to-“

“you’re too cute for me to throw away like some useless piece of trash.”

you stand completely bewildered by his words, “i can’t tell if that’s a compliment or not.”

“i’m being serious here!” he purses his lips into a pout.

“sorry. continue?”

jaemin lets a sigh roll off his tongue. “havent you taken the hint that i mayhaps liked you back all along?”

hint? whatever does he mean?

“THE BABY INCIDENT!” you yell out on accident. suddenly, all the dots made sense and connected to each other without you having to lift a finger.

“the baby what now…”

“THE OTHER DAY WHEN YOU REFERRED TO ME AS BABY!” you wiggle your finger right in front of his face, completely forgetting the distance between your two.

“YOU WERE AWAKE DURING THAT?” you swear jaemin’s eyes lit up in horror for a brief moment, not expecting your claim in the least.

“yeah, i was. dumbshit.” you giggle out.

“I THOUGHT YOU WERE ASLEEP-” the boy yells back in his defense. “i guess i really can’t hide anything from you, huh?”

“it’s okay, you’ve managed to hide all your silent i love yous throughout the years.” you smile at him happily before your expression turns a little on its side. “i’m sorry for being too dense to notice…”

“i think that’s a good trait of yours- most of the time.” he quips back, knowing just how to lift your mood back up.

“take that back right now. don’t judge my dense ass, na.”

“what! it’s true!”

“take it backkk!” whining amidst your laughter, you ponder if there were any more silent i love yous over the years.

although you can’t turn back time to witness each moment in its purest form, you’ll make sure to never miss the future occasions when he shows the love he’s been giving you all along.

taglist | @haeravlgs, @matchahyuck, @vantxx95, @ahnneyong, @lixxbr0wnie, @legbouk, @rocarecs, @winwonies, @gfrdistance, @nctzennikki09

#—hyuckbeam #—tttc #tttc: silent i love yous #nct fluff #jaemin #jaemin fluff #nct #nct angst #nct dream #nct dream fluff #nct dream angst #nct x reader #nct aus #fluff #angst

[hyuckbeam]

hi hii the "Third time's a charm" series just passed through my feed and I was interested in the story and also ... in the font that u've IT'S REALLY CUTE, so can I ask for the font name?

oh!! i’m really glad to know the stories from the series compelled you 🥺🫶 hope you enjoy reading them if ever :>>

as for the font i used for the banners, it’s actually a korean font called 어비 세현체 !! im pretty sure its available in most platforms so hopefully you can find it 😭

#—asks #—anon!

[hyuckbeam]

hilu! i think i’ve binged through your entire “third times the charm” series and i was just wondering when jaemin’s part would be out? i love your work sm sm <33 have a good day hehe

hii anonie TT omg im not sure when this was sent in but i’ve been a little busy so i haven’t been able to be active for the past few days!! as for the jaemin fic,, i’m a little over half way there ;0; hopefully his will get posted soon ><

side note,, thank you for enjoying my work!! that’s genuinely so nice to hear considering i started tumblr not long ago hehe 💗💗

#—asks #—anon!

[hyuckbeam]

HAECHAN for Arena Homme+ (April 2023)

#haechan #hes the moment #he IS everything #this photoshoot is godsent

[hyuckbeam]

love always

characters: lee donghyuck | nct haechan & female reader word count: 15.6k warnings: mentions of sex, swearing genre: angst, fluff, what's wrong with secretary kim-inspired story taglist: @matchahyuck @ohmyhuenings

author's note: thank you for reading this. i had fun writing it :) please let me know what you think about this fic!

・❥・・❥・・❥・・❥・

Lee Donghyuck remains planted on the expensive swivel chair, blinking at the envelope sitting quietly on top of his desk.

The envelope screams RESIGNATION LETTER in bold print, but it’s got to be a joke, Donghyuck’s sure. There’s only one person directly reporting to him despite being the Vice-President of Client Solutions, and that is you. Anyone who wants to resign would have to address their letters to their superiors, who would need Donghyuck’s approval, which would never even land on his desk because you take care of those things for him. It would be quite impossible for anything to reach Donghyuck without it going through you.

And it’s you, for God’s sake. You would never quit on Lee Donghyuck. Not in a million years. Not in this lifetime, unfortunately.

Hence, Lee Donghyuck ignores the plain, white envelope; he reckons you would take care of it later for him. Somebody must have mistakenly placed it in his office, that no one can easily access apart from you, and it’s not like Donghyuck is scared of the thought of losing you. Anyway, if it were you, then he could just say no.

Donghyuck scoffs at the thought of your audacity leaving him after seven long years of working together, dropping a stack of files on top of the stupid letter, and makes a mental note to tell this joke to Jeno later when he joins him for dinner.

He pulls himself closer to his desk, turning away from the stack of files, and brings his focus back to his computer. His e-mails are all taken care of as usual—because all e-mails to Vice-President Lee must be addressed to both Lee Donghyuck himself and his secretary Y/N, otherwise, consider it non-existent; the golden rule in SM Tech is that, if Y/N is not copied, then it never reached Lee Donghyuck.

His entire day has been taken care of as well—you are an amazing secretary; anyone would be lucky to have you—and all he really needed to do today is review the reports coming from Operations before his big presentation to a client SM Tech has been trying to win over for years. Weishen Inc. is the most sought-after partner in the entirety of South Korea right now, and everyone and their grandmothers have been trying to get a partnership with them. It’s basically a war at this point, Donghyuck thinks, because it’s all every tech company in Seoul have been working on. And considering that Donghyuck is vying for that CEO role in the next couple of years, getting this in the bag would really help him.

Which is why it doesn’t make sense to Donghyuck that it’s you who would leave a stupid resignation letter on his desk.

You have been working with Lee Donghyuck for seven years. You were an intern, Donghyuck remembers, and Donghyuck had just gotten out of college. And being the eldest grandson of the chairman of the board, it was pretty easy for Donghyuck to land a permanent job as soon as he received his diploma. Donghyuck was introduced as a client solutions program director, with an emphasis from his grandfather that he wouldn’t get a special treatment and will work his way up just like everybody else, and you were introduced as his associate. It’s safe to say that moving up towards the leadership ladder had been easy because he had you.

Resilient and intelligent, you were everything he ever wanted. Donghyuck has been in the business far longer than he years he spent in college; he’s seen everything as a child. Hence, Donghyuck knew what he wanted when he’s given a role, and you were everything and more.

You never complained about anything at all. Lee Donghyuck wasn’t easy to work with because well, he knows he’s a brat who gets everything in a golden platter and he is well aware of how demanding he can be. You worked beyond your supposed working hours to catch up on Donghyuck’s demands, and even went above the expectations by working on most of his reports because he had other priorities. You take care of his e-mails (there has never been a day in seven years that he opened Outlook with a single e-mail waiting for him) and get him meals daily because he never has the time. For fuck’s sake, you even take care of his stupid dates for him.

Over the years of working with him, you probably know Donghyuck like the back of your hand—even better than his best friend Jeno—and you’ve been working hard with him to reach his goal of becoming CEO in the next couple of years. You know this because you call him daepyonim when you’re tipsy from the expensive wine he makes you drink on a particularly stressful Friday night, and you never call him daepyonim. You’re one of the few people who calls him, well, Donghyuck. No honorifics, no boundaries.

So, Lee Donghyuck is sure you would never leave him.

“Donghyuck, I need you to approve this.” Speaking of the devil. “It’s a request to add more manpower in Operations. I’ve thought about it. You’ll probably decline this—I’m sure—because you would think they wouldn’t need it, but since we’re working on the new project—”

Everything else fades when he sees you enter his office: you hair is tied in a bun like always, the sleeves of your dress shirt he remembers giving you years ago are rolled up to your forearms, the redness from your lipstick is a little smudged (most likely because you keep drinking from a sports bottle and not from a glass like a normal person). You walk closer towards his desk, a folder in your hand, and as you speak, you’re snapping your fingers in his direction. Why are you snapping? Why—

Oh.

“Donghyuck?” you call, and it breaks whatever trance he was in. “I know you’re tired. But it’s Thursday, okay? Let’s get through today and tomorrow, then you can go golfing with Jeno or something.”

You gently slide the folder on his desk. “Here’s the letter of request. I just need you to sign this and I’ll be on my way.”

Donghyuck signs, trusting that you’ve read through the whole thing as always, and nods towards your direction. You thank him, and suddenly Donghyuck hears the white envelope buried under the stack of things he needs to read today scream for him.

“Hey, Y/N,” he calls. You turn with a curious look. Donghyuck clears his throat. “Somebody came to my office and accidentally left a letter without consulting you. People in the place should already know that no paper should land on my desk unless it’s cleared from yours. Can you take care of it for me?”

“I don’t remember anyone coming in today,” you trail off. “But sure, let me take care of it. Which one?”

Donghyuck gets rid of his own folders and finds the envelope, handing it to you, and you look at him as though he just cracked the funniest joke.

Chuckling, you walk back towards his desk, and Donghyuck almost sighs in relief when your hand touches the envelope. Almost, because you push it back to him instead of taking it.

“Donghyuck,” you say with a smile. “This is from me.”

Well. Fuck.

・❥・・❥・・❥・・❥・

Of course, Lee Jeno is laughing at him.

“This is serious, Jeno,” Donghyuck whines quietly, careful so that you wouldn’t hear. He throws the cushion towards his best friend, who quickly dodges it. “I really think the person sitting on the desk outside my office is not Y/N. Didn’t you notice anything weird before you came in?”

“I think that you’re going crazy, man,” Jeno answers, still laughing. “It’s the same old Y/N. She told me not to bother you too much because you’re busy, just like every time I come here. I don’t think she knows what I do in this company. Doesn’t she know I’m the head of IT and Development?”

“I’m serious, man. Somebody must have abducted her and replaced her with someone as good, but I’m sure that’s not her—”

“Donghyuck-ssi­,” you call, the door slightly opened so he could only see you from your tied-up bun to the button of your nose. “I’ll be having my lunch. Let me know if you need anything; I’ll come running back.”

Donghyuck nods towards your direction, and as soon as you’re gone, he turns back to Jeno as if he just witnessed the craziest thing. “See?! That wasn’t her! She never calls me with honorifics. Why did she suddenly called me Donghyuck-ssi. Who the fuck is Donghyuck-ssi?”

“You’re literally overreacting,” Jeno comments. “She calls you with honorifics when you’re around co-workers because she doesn’t want the world thinking she doesn’t respect you.”

Of course. “Oh, yeah.”

“What happened, anyway?” Jeno asks, reaching for the gourmet burger you had ordered for them. “She seems fine to me.”

Donghyuck sighs. “She submitted a resignation letter.” Jeno almost chokes on his meal. “Unbelievable, right?”

“Holy shit, what have you done Lee Donghyuck?” Jeno asks soon as he recovers. Donghyuck shrugs, taking a piece of fries. “She’s finally had enough of you!”

“What do you mean?” Donghyuck retorts. “The fuck do you mean by she’s finally had enough of me? You wish I was your boss. I’m the best boss ever.”

Jeno laughs. Laughs out loud. And Donghyuck looks at him, exasperated.

“You’re not that dense, aren’t you?” Jeno chokes out; Donghyuck wishes he really chokes on his own laughter, stupid Jeno. “You’re not really that oblivious, right?”

“Oblivious about what, Jeno? You’re really annoying me now.”

“Oh, Lee Donghyuck,” Jeno laughs again. “I see why she’s quitting on you.”

“Who said I would let her?”

“I bet a new Lamborghini that she’s gone by the end of spring.”

“Don’t manifest shit like that!”

“Bet.”

“Bet I can make her stay.”

“Bet you can’t.”

“Fuck you.”

・❥・・❥・・❥・・❥・

Donghyuck decides to cancel dinner with Jeno. Jeno is a bitch, anyway.

You’re seated beside him; his chauffer driving the two of you home. He sits uncomfortably beside you as you scroll through your phone. The ride is about fifteen minutes away until you reach your apartment, which means, Donghyuck has fifteen minutes to get everything off his chest otherwise he won’t be getting any sleep tonight.

He reaches for the button on his side, closing the partition between the driver and the two of you. The sound alone makes you look at him, knowing that he probably has something important to say.

“What’s wrong?” you ask immediately as soon as the partition is closed. “Did we forget anything?”

“You’re not serious, are you?” Donghyuck asks, looking right into your eyes, because he wants you to know that he’s serious and that he’s not playing with you. “About the resignation. Because I’m not playing with you, Y/N.”

“Donghyuck,” you say in a whisper, taking both his hands and looking at him right into his eyes just like what he’s doing. You’re the only one who never gets intimidated with the way he’s looking down at you right now. “I wouldn’t joke about that kind of thing.”

“Why?” he asks.

“Did you read the letter?”

“Yes, and it’s full of bullshit.” You frown at his response. “What? It’s true? Resigning for a personal reason? Y/N, I would think you can give me a better reason.”

“It’s the truth,” you say quietly. “I have no other reason. I don’t plan to betray you by working in another company that pays better.”

“No one pays better than SM Tech,” he retorts. “And I don’t accept personal reason for resignation. I’ve never approved any resignation that says personal reason.”

“Donghyuck, I approve all resignation letters on your behalf; you haven’t approved a single resignation letter yourself in the last seven years.”

“Exactly,” Donghyuck spits. “I do not approve resignation letters. So, the answer is no.”

“Donghyuck, you can’t decline a resignation letter.”

“Watch me.”

“It’s illegal.”

“Y/N.”

“Donghyuck.”

“It’s final. No.”

“I’ll make my exit as smooth as possible; you won’t even notice. I’ve already put up a job vacancy online and tomorrow I’m visiting Seoul National University with Soojung from Recruitment so we can see any potentials from the graduating classes. It’s going to be—”

“Absolutely horrendous,” Donghyuck finishes, fishing the envelope from the inside pocket of his expensive suit. “It’s final,” he says again, before doing the devil’s work.

“Donghyuck, don’t!” But it’s too late. He’s already ripped the envelope and the letter inside in half. And another half. And another one. Until it’s all torn into small pieces.

Donghyuck smiles in defeat, as if he just won a battle, and the urge to poke his tongue out is so strong that he has to remind himself that he’s still talking to an employee. He watches you sigh as you pick up the small pieces, collecting it then placing it inside your bag. You don’t say anything, and Donghyuck assumes you’ve accepted defeat. You’re not going anywhere, not in a million years, not in this lifetime. He sits back comfortably and from his peripheral view, he sees you fidgeting on your own hands—a sign that you’re upset. Well, you can be upset all you want; Donghyuck is not letting you go.

The car takes a turn into a familiar road, which means you’re two minutes away from your home. You still hadn’t said a word to him. Donghyuck is confident he’s got you wrapped around his finger. You’re not resigning. Never. Ever.

On the 25th street, right across an apartment complex, the car finally stops. You don’t say goodbye to him, but you turn to Donghyuck before leaving, saying: “You know I can print this over and over again, right?”

Which, Donghyuck hates, sounds more like a goodbye that the word itself.

・❥・・❥・・❥・・❥・

Donghyuck’s known you for seven years, and when people (mostly his asshole friends who have blatantly shown interest in you) ask him how it is working with you, he could say a lot of things.

The first word that comes to his mind is always kind.

When you and him were both 21, new to the company and adulthood itself, he remembers drinking with you in front of a convenience store nearby the office, right after you successfully finished your first presentation to the senior leaders. It truly deserved a celebration, that night, because it was the first time you and him had to do something big for the company. Donghyuck can’t remember much about the presentation itself or whatever feedback he received from his grandfather, but he can clearly remember how drunk you two were. He remembers taking his suit off and watching you take off yours, you and him left in your white dress shirts as you alternately take shots straight from the bottle of soju.

They say that you never truly know someone unless you see them drunk. And there you were, drunk and dazed, laughing with him about nothing at all. Donghyuck recalls an old man struggling to open the door of the convenience store and how quickly you (drunkenly) got up to help him. Donghyuck watched you enter the convenience store with the old man, later coming out, a big drunken smile on your face as you bid your goodbyes with the old man.

“Oh, Donghyuck,” you had said, tears already streaming down your tears. “I love him.”

“Y/N, relax, you literally just met him,” was his response.

“He was buying something for his sick wife,” you had rambled. “But he couldn’t cook to save his life so he got something from the convenience store. Have I told you he was counting his bills when he was paying? So, I paid for him and got him a few more things to take home. I love him so much.”

“You’re cute,” he had said (drunkenly, of course, he doesn’t mean it that way.

“I’d rather be called kind,” you had answered before tipping your head back and drinking from the bottle of soju you and him are sharing. Donghyuck wasn’t sure if he heard you. “I said I’d rather be kind than cute. Or beautiful. Or whatever. I’d rather be kind than anything.”

And Donghyuck knows this is true because like he said, he has known you for seven years now. Seven years, seven years of learning what kindness is. All because of you.

Aside from the innate kindness you have in you, Donghyuck thinks you’re detail-oriented. And not to be that kind of person who always talks about work, but Donghyuck reckons this is exactly why you’re his favorite person in the entire world (but no one needs to know that Donghyuck thought of you as his favorite person in the world) and he believes that this is why you and him have stayed together (at work) for seven long years, because you and him are the same when it comes to your careers.

You’re far more hardworking than Donghyuck, that one he can admit. You work long hours in the office even when he’s fast asleep in his couch or wherever his body could reach as soon as he’s home, just so you can make him look good in the board the next day. Donghyuck can’t count the number of times you saved him at work (more like saved his ass from his grandfather) and most of the time, he knows you deserve more credit than you get.

After three years of working as a director, Donghyuck was promoted as Vice-President for Client Solutions, the role he’s currently in. There was a party, Donghyuck remembers, and his grandfather invited everyone their family knew. His father had to remind him to greet each of those who will attend, as they could be potential investors and partners, and Donghyuck is great, okay? He’s one of the best in his field, not only because he’s part of the Lee bloodline, but because he worked hard for it. Donghyuck is charming, above anything else, but one thing is he not good at is remembering people.

And bless you, you knew that. The day before the party, you studied the guest list and any potential plus ones they might bring, and the night of the party, you walked arm in arm with Donghyuck, whispering the names of each guests and telling him how important they are in the business. Donghyuck could have kissed you right there and there (only because he’s grateful), because nobody in the entire world would have done that for him. When he thinks about that night and imagines if you weren’t there for him, he could have screwed up all client and investor relationships SM Tech has built over the decades. But you were there, you were always always there.

Which brings him to item number three: reliable.

Donghyuck could disappear from the face of the earth for two weeks straight and his line of business would still be running. Why, people may ask? Because he has you.

You’re here. You’re everywhere he wants you to be.

But right now—it’s difficult not to hate you right now.

Right now, if Donghyuck could describe you, right now you’re a piece of shit.

It’s been five days since the white envelope incident (as he calls it) and you have been nothing but a menace. An asshole. A literal piece of shit he wants to throw away. (Perhaps not literally.)

The first couple of days that Donghyuck has arrived in his office, the first thing he would see is another copy of your stupid resignation letter on his desk, and each time he would call for you, make you watch him rip it into pieces just like the last time, and you would leave his office, defeated—only to put the same stupid letter the next day like the asshole you are. You have threated to go straight to Human Resources, which you haven’t, thank God, and Donghyuck decided he would just hide from you. That way, in case Human Resources would ask why he didn’t approve the resignation, he could just say he never received a letter.

Which is why, Donghyuck has decided to work from home from this day onwards. You’ve been spamming his e-mail with the soft copy of the resignation letter, which he had ignored each time, and have been trying to call him non-stop, but he learned from Jeno that he could setup a meeting with himself in Microsoft Teams and pretend to present something so that nobody could call him and at the same time make people think he’s working because his status would tell people he’s presenting an important, well, presentation.

How long will he work from home? Well, up until you get your head out of your ass and stop asking him to approve your resignation letter.

But you make it so fucking difficult. Apart from being kind, detail-oriented, and reliable, Donghyuck forgot that you’re also persistent. You don’t stop until you get what you want.

Which explains why there’s a delivery man walking back and forth from his truck to the inside of his house—because you decided to send three thousand copies of the resignation letter to his home. Three thousand copies of the same letter, all sealed in the same white envelope. Where do you even find the time to do this shit? He can’t believe you. He really can’t believe you.

He calls you as soon as the delivery person leaves his place.

“Fine!” is the first thing he says (more like screams) when you answer. “You know what? Sure, I’ll sign your stupid paper.”

“Thank you,” you reply, and it angers Donghyuck even more.

“Start looking for a fucking replacement. I don’t need you!”

“You’re upset, I understand that. You don’t have to be so mean about it, Donghyuck.”

“That’s daepyonim for you,” he retorts.

“Sure, daepyonim,” you bite back. “When can I come get my signed resignation letter, daepyonim? I’m itching to submit it to Human Resources.”

“Now,” he answers, all flared up and angry. You’re being a real piece of shit today. What’s gotten into you? “Come get it now, you ungrateful bitch.”

He hears you snicker on the other line before saying “thank you, daepyonim,” and you hang up.

Donghyuck throws his phone against the wall, and it breaks, dropping hard and in pieces down his warm, carpeted floor. He screams in frustration and pulls his hair, exhausted from whatever the fuck you’re doing. He can’t believe you’re really doing this. You’ve been with him for years; you literally grew up with him in the corporate world. He’s never heard one single complaint from you. Donghyuck’s mind runs a hundred kilometers per hour, trying to recall any memory of you expressing any intention to leave him, and it pisses him off a little that he never bothered to ask you once how you’ve been holding up over the last seven years. And he’s supposed to know; Donghyuck is supposed to know not only because this is something he should know as a leader (there was a webinar about retaining your employees four years ago but he slept through half of it), but also because he’s supposed to know you.

He supposed to know you the way you know him.

And right now, it seems like he’s dealing with a fucking stranger with how far away you are to him.

The door bell rings only minutes later. He guesses you’ve been waiting down the street after you sent 10 boxes full of resignation letters because it didn’t take you that long to reach his place.

“You could’ve just invited yourself in instead of wasting my energy; you know how busy I am,” is the first thing that Donghyuck comes up with.

“We’re not at work,” you remark. “This is your home. I can’t barge in anytime I want.”

“You barge in literally every time I oversleep and you pick me up,” he scoffs, turning to walk towards his living area with you following after him.

“Where’s my signed resignation letter?” you ask. “If I get it now and make it back to the office, someone from Human Resources can file it for me.”

Donghyuck rolls his eyes. “Relax. I’ll give it to you later. Come sit with me first.”

“I don’t really have time—”

Donghyuck turns and it’s a little too late for you to stop because now you’re chest to chest and Donghyuck has to hold your back to keep you from falling.

The first thing he notices up close is how dull your eyes look. Your eyes have always been bright, as far as Donghyuck could remember, and he knows this because even leaders from other lines of business have vocalized how excited your eyes always look whenever you’re at work. He’s heard people complimenting how pretty your eyes are, and you got voted as “Most Alluring Eyes of the Night” at the year-end party last year.

They’ve always been bright, full of sparks, passion, and warmth. But today, it’s all dull and empty, like a burnt-out light bulb barely hanging in there.

“What’s wrong?” Donghyuck asks gently, still holding you.

You clear your throat and step back, bringing the space and coldness back between you and him. “What do you mean?”

“Talk to me,” he offers. “What’s wrong? Why are you leaving?”

“Like I said in the letter—”

“Don’t give me that bullshit,” he warns. “Tell me why you’re leaving.”

“I’m not looking for a career advancement,” you say. “I swear. I didn’t get recruited from another company.”

“Tell me why you’re leaving,” Donghyuck repeats. You swallow and step back a little more, looking smaller than ever.

“Personal reasons,” you mumble. “I’ve been working in SM Tech for seven years, Donghyuck. I wasn’t even supposed to stay after my internship. My original plan was to get some experience and later on try to work abroad.”

“So, you’re not grateful that SM Tech absorbed you right after college?”

“Don’t put words in my mouth,” you interrupt him. “I love SM Tech, and you know that. I owe the company literally my entire life. I wouldn’t have been able to afford the life I have now even if I worked abroad. You pay me more than anyone would and you’ve given me more bonuses than anyone else could get in a lifetime.”

(The car you got as a bonus wasn’t really a bonus; Donghyuck wanted to give it to you as a birthday gift without being seen as an emotionally attached sap, so he made the company tell you it’s a bonus.)

“But,” you say, sighing. “I’ve given so much of myself to SM Tech that I feel like I’ve got nothing left of me.”

“What do you mean?” he asks. He watches you look down, your toes fiddling, a sign that you’re nervous. “What do you mean you got nothing left of you?”

“I don’t know myself aside from being Lee Donghyuck’s secretary,” you finally say. “I’m scared that I’ll grow old not knowing what I else I can do aside from being your secretary.”

“Do you want to be promoted?” Donghyuck offers. “I can ask my grandfather to—”

You sigh, “That’s not at all what I mean Donghyuck.”

“Then what do you want?”

“I want to get away,” you say in a small voice. “From SM Tech. From you. I’ll learn more about myself if I was far away from you.”

“Then take a fucking vacation!” Donghyuck breaks, face red. “Use all of your paid time offs. If you need more, I’ll have them give you more. Buy a fucking plane ticket to wherever you want to go. Book a stupid hotel room and use my card. Go wherever you want to go. Just don’t leave me, damn it!”

“Donghyuck,” you whisper. “Please let me leave. This is all I want.”

“Where do you plan on going if you leave?” he asks.

“I plan to take a year off from work. I have enough savings to last me a year without working. I’m not sure yet. I’ll travel, or whatever options I have.”

“I don’t understand.” Donghyuck sighs, walking towards his expensive couch, sitting with his palms on his face, his elbows resting on thighs. He feels you sit beside him, your knees touching his.

“Donghyuck, I’m turning 28 in a few months,” you slowly say, your hand on his shoulder as if touching him would make him understand what you’re trying to say. “I haven’t traveled to places I want to go. I’m grateful that you took me with you to all the business trips you had abroad, but I also want to travel. I haven’t traveled for leisure.”

“Why do you never ask?” he mumbles, words unclear because his face is still planted on his palms. “Why can’t you just request for a PTO instead of being dramatic?”

You laugh. Donghyuck finally looks at you again. “Donghyuck, you’ve never approved a single PTO.”

“You never requested.”

“I haven’t requested one since 2019, because you’ve declined each request from 2016 until 2019. And I can’t afford to go on leave these days, especially when you’re about to become CEO,” you explain. “Which is why I have to quit now before you become CEO.”

“What’s your point?” he groans, leaning back, head tilted up so that he’s looking at the ceiling instead of your empty, dull eyes.

“I’m turning 28 in a few months,” you repeat. “You becoming CEO would mean I would get less time for myself when I barely have any right now.”

“I’ll change,” Donghyuck promises. “I’ll give you a full week off every month if you want. Paid off.”

You laugh. “I’m turning 28.”

Donghyuck curses. “Why do you keep saying that? We’re both turning 28!”

“You don’t get it, do you?” you said. Donghyuck turns his head towards you, head still resting on the couch. There’s a sparkle in your eyes now that you’re laughing.

“Get what?”

“Oh, Donghyuck,” you say, leaning over him, your hand reaching towards his head, hand gently tapping his hair. “I’m turning 28 and I want to start dating and eventually get married. If I don’t quit from you now, I don’t think anyone would want to marry me when I’m 40 or something.”

Donghyuck sits straight up, eyes wide, “That’s why you’re quitting?”

You lean back, nodding.

“Why are you so being dramatic about it, quitting and all this shit you’re pulling?” he asks. “Y/N, we can resolve this easily—”

“I can’t date while working for you, Donghyuck. The last time I dated someone, you literally scared them away by showing up on our date, which was not cool, by the way.”

“Then we can get married!”

Donghyuck sees the surprise on your eyes, watches you swallow as soon as you hear his proposal. He smiles, knowing he can never get you to say no.

“Think about it, baby,” he says, the endearment obviously affecting you with the way your breath hitches. “We’re basically married now. We’ve been together seven years. You can still work at the company. If you don’t want to be my secretary anymore, I’ll—I’ll come up with something. The only difference will be rings on our fingers and sharing the same house!”

“Donghyuck,” you try to say. “I—”

“I’m sure we can have it arranged in a few days. My auntie owns a company that organizes weddings and events. We can—”

“Donghyuck!”

Donghyuck stops when you shout, the first time, at him. “Why?”

“I don’t want to marry you,” you drop. “It’s like… marrying my job. That’s weird.”

Donghyuck laughs. You laugh, too, which is a relief for Donghyuck. Does this mean you won’t quit?

“And besides you have a girlfriend,” you remind him. Oh, yeah. Hyunjin.

Donghyuck snorts, ready to get his phone. “We’re just dating because my mother said so. I can break up with her now.”

You chuckle as you stop Donghyuck from taking his phone from his pocket. “Donghyuck. No more games.”

“I’m not playing!”

“Please,” you quietly say, hand still on his forearm, giving him a pleading squeeze. “Please let me go. I owe you my life, and I think it’s time I live it.”

Donghyuck looks for any sign of hesitance in your eyes. Any sign of regret. Any sign of joking albeit impossible. But all he finds in your eyes is hope. Longing. And who is he to deny you from living your life?

He’s probably going to regret this, but Donghyuck reaches over his coffee table for a pen and a copy of your resignation letter. He takes it from the envelope and places the paper on his thigh, signing it with his name, before taking a good look on it, then at you.

You smile when you see him sign it, and hold his hand longer when he hands it to you. “Thank you,” you say almost in a whisper.

Donghyuck could only smile back, lip tight. You bid him goodbye and tell him you’re going back to hand it over to HR.

Donghyuck could only nod.

Donghyuck could only watch you leave.

Donghyuck could only sit in silence.

・❥・・❥・・❥・・❥・

Thirty days.

Thirty days is how long you’re giving Donghyuck to accept your departure. It’s a month from now, but it feels like it’s coming by too soon.

It’s driving him insane, and he was right, he would regret signing it as soon as you left. Now, he’s in the conquest to have you retract the resignation before thirty days is over. It’s Day One of Operation: Keep Y/N—the biggest project he’s ever had his entire career. He doesn’t have a plan yet, but Donghyuck will succeed no matter what.

“Jeno,” he says through the office phone. “I need you here.”

“Man, I’m busy, what do you want?”

“I need you to help me make Y/N retract her stupid resignation,” Donghyuck answers in whisper because you’re siting literally outside of his door. “We took the webinar about retaining employees together right?”

“We took two hundred webinars together, Donghyuck. How would I know?”

“We did,” Donghyuck confirms. “But I was asleep. And you were new, so I assume you took notes. How do you retain your best employees?”

“Donghyuck, I literally cannot remember even attending such webinar,” Jeno admits. “HR does that. They have a person in charge of retaining employees who are resigning. Hand it to them, man.”

Donghyuck loosens his tie. “They don’t know Y/N like I do.”

“Then maybe you’re not trying to retain an employee,” Jeno suggests. “Perhaps you’re just trying to make Y/N stay. I don’t think you need anyone’s help.”

Donghyuck stops breathing for a second, trying to repeat what Jeno just said. Donghyuck denies it in his mind; he needs you because you work with him well. Because you and him work well together. Because he succeeds in any endeavor when you’re beside him. He’s trying to retain you as an employee. For the CEO post. For SM Tech.

“That’s not what I mean,” Donghyuck tries, but Jeno is already hanging up on him.

Well, Jeno is no use. Donghyuck reckons he can’t call his father or mother about this because then they would know he doesn’t attend all those webinars they enroll him to.

Hence, Donghyuck will ask the next best thing: Google.

Google routes him to a link to a Forbes article that’s titled: “Top Five Tips For Retaining Employees During The Great Resignation" and he figures he can start from there.

Create connection through engagement. Implement remote/hybrid schedules. Go with a growth mindset. Beef up benefit offerings. Cultivate company culture.

Huh, Donghyuck thinks. It sounds easier than he imagined.

Donghyuck sits up straight, nodding to himself as he reads through the entire article, fueled and motivated. He’s not going to let you go, not in a million years, not in this lifetime.

Operation: Keep Y/N commences.

・❥・・❥・・❥・・❥・

Every year, SM Tech holds a sports event to encourage engagement, and Donghyuck sees this as an opportunity to complete task number 1: create connection through engagement.

Which is why he is here now, wearing something he would never be seen in on a normal day: a part of red sweatpants and a white shirt. Jeno is sitting excitedly beside him at the gymnasium that the company rented for an entire day. Like Donghyuck, Jeno and everyone else is wearing the same outfit, half of the population wearing blue instead of red to manage the teams more efficiently.

Now there was one problem, how will Donghyuck create a connection with you if he’s never joined any of this bullshit for the past seven years?

You, however, joined each and every single one. Now that he thinks about it, why did you never bother asking him to join?

“There she is,” Jeno whispers, pointing towards the basketball court.

Donghyuck finally sees you after a full ten minutes of looking for you since he arrived. He has 28 days, he reminds himself. 28 days until your resignation takes effect.

“Wait, where are you going?” Jeno asks when Donghyuck stands, jumping from one stair to another, passing by the people sitting on the bleachers. “Stupid,” he shouts loud enough for everyone to hear when Donghyuck almost trips. Donghyuck fights the urge to flip him off.

He tries not to run as soon as his feet land on the covered court, but his steps are bigger than normal, as though he’s scared he might not be fast enough to catch you. You’re usually passionate about these things; Donghyuck’s sure you volunteered on something one way or another.

When you’re almost at reach, he slows down a little to catch his breath so that you wouldn’t think he came running to see you. Donghyuck realizes this is also the first time he’s seen you with anything else apart from dress shirts, slacks or skirts, or formal wear. You’re holding a piece of paper, reading it with a colleague, because of course, you’re playing and leading the team. You don’t notice him come by, and Donghyuck thinks it’s cute, the way your eyes widen at the sight of him wearing the same outfit as everyone else.

“Donghyuck!” you exclaim. “Donghyuck-ssi.” You repeat. God, you’re cute. He never realized you were this cute until today. “You didn’t tell me you’re joining today.”

“Surprise, I guess?” Donghyuck replies. Your colleagues all bow and greet him. “I’m happy to see everyone here today. Let’s all have a good day!”

The small crowd cheers, one of them pointing out that Donghyuck is on the same team as them, another saying it’s the first time he’s seen anyone beyond director level joining an event as such. You smile proudly at Donghyuck. No one needs to know his heart does a backflip (he’s not sure how else to describe the sudden rapid beating or the drastic change in his breathing) whenever you smile proudly at him. He remembers the first time he’s seen that smile: the day of his first presentation with the board of directors. He’s seen in more times than he could count, and among a hundred times he shows off what he’s got, most of it is because he wants to see you smile at him proudly.

So, he does one thing after another that he knows would make you proud.

“If Red Team wins the trophy this year,” he says. “Dinner’s on me!”

Everyone wearing red sweatpants cheers. The ones wearing blue mutter about why no one from the leadership joined their team.

“Let’s all work hard today!” Donghyuck shouts one last time, and everyone starts walking away from the small crowd to go prepare for the games assigned to them.

Donghyuck is still smiling directly at you, who’s also smiling directly at him, and his heart does that thing again when you step closer to him. “You’re cool, Donghyuck-ssi.”

Donghyuck shrugs, licking his lips, “I am Lee Donghyuck.”

You giggle and roll your eyes. “Any games you’re interested in playing?”

Donghyuck shakes his head. “My old injury still won’t let me.”

You nod, remembering right away. “Oh, yeah. I’ll see you in the office, then?”

“I’ll stay and watch,” Donghyuck confirms. “I’ll be your… Gatorade boy.”

You laugh out loud, and Donghyuck feels everyone watching the scene unfold. He could hear women muttering at how lucky you are to have interactions like this with him.

You nod and tell him to watch out for his head because the girls will be playing volleyball and the boys, basketball. He reminds you to take care and asks you gently not to get injured. Donghyuck catches the blush on your cheeks before you turn to catch your colleagues.

Donghyuck returns to the bleachers. Jeno has moved three flights down, and is sitting on the front row as the referee blows the whistle. The game of basketball starts, and Donghyuck watches, keeping his eye on you every now and then.

Red Team wins, of course, and everyone’s cheers is jaded when he sees you jump in excitement on the other side of the court. The host announces the next game: three-legged race, and he reckons this is the game you’re assigned to because you walk across the court with your teammates.

Jeno explains the game to him. Donghyuck nods, eyes still on you.

“That’s Na Jaemin from Accounting,” Jeno whispers, pointing at the tall, blonde man standing in the middle of the court. “What a gorgeous man.”

Donghyuck rolls his eyes, checking the time. The game should start in three minutes. He watches you interact with your teammates, perhaps looking for your partner who is yet to arrive.

Donghyuck feels something he can’t explain when he sees a tall man approach you, tapping you on your shoulder, and you excitedly cheering when you see the man, giving him a side hug that Donghyuck realizes you’ve never given him.

“That,” Donghyuck breathes. “Who’s that?”

Jeno snickers.

“That,” he emphasizes, like how that lady from Julliard introduced Troy Bolton in High School Musical. “Is Jung Sungchan.”

Donghyuck doesn’t know everyone in SM Tech, but he would know if there was a Jung Sungchan sitting around, looking like a fucking God, hence his surprise to see someone speaking with you so casually, making you laugh as if he’s funnier than Lee Donghyuck himself. What does he do anyway? Is he a VP like Donghyuck? VP for what? VP for Having Perfect Skin? Jung fucking Sungchan. Donghyuck already doesn’t like him.

“He works in IT and Development, under Jisung’s supervision,” Jeno answers as if he’s reading Donghyuck’s mind. “He’s new. Like he recently got regularized.”

“Who decided to regularize him?” Donghyuck confronts.

“Me, stupid,” Jeno answers. “He’s great. A potential leader in IT, if you ask me.”

“Like VP level?” Donghyuck asks. “Can he be a VP?”

Jeno laughs. “Man, you’re screwed.” Donghyuck looks at him, eyebrows furrowed, as if he’s asking him what he means. “Nothing, nothing.”

“He’s good-looking, yeah, but he can’t be VP like me.”

“Whatever you say, man.”

Donghyuck keeps an eye on you the whole time, and he hates that whenever he looks at you, he sees Jung Sungchan. He watches your teammates tighten the ties they wrapped around your ankles and knees. He hates that he has to watch Sungchan pull you close, the side of your bodies touching like magnets. He hates that Sungchan could wrap an arm around you because you’re too short and you would fall as soon as the game starts if he doesn’t hold on to you. He hates that Sungchan could hug you as soon as the game ends because you and him just won the game for the team.

He hates that Jung Sungchan sits beside you the whole time after the game, even going out of his way to get a bottle of Gatorade for you. He hates that you smile at him proudly, and that you laugh at whatever joke that man was saying. He hates that he’s sitting on the other side of the court, and that you don’t give him the time of the day.

He hates that after the game, when the team is announced as the champion of this year’s sports event, the first person you hug is Jung Sungchan.

Lee Donghyuck hates that he doesn’t understand why he’s hating all of this all of a sudden.

He skips dinner and leaves his card to Jeno.

You don’t look for him, and Donghyuck doesn’t understand why he hates that you don’t.

・❥・・❥・・❥・・❥・

Donghyuck becomes obsessed with Jung Sungchan the next Monday after the sports event. It’s also 25 days until your resignation is finalized, which means, he shouldn’t be thinking about Jung Sungchan and should be focusing on the rest of what that Forbes article said about retaining employees.

Jung Sungchan, Donghyuck learns, went to the same university as you. He is a few years younger, so he probably calls you nuna. (Which makes Donghyuck think now, how do you feel about being called nuna by a good-looking man? He’s heard from his younger sister that women like being called nuna or having a younger boyfriend in general. Did you want Jung Sungchan to be your boyfriend? Is that why you’re resigning? Are you resigning so you can date him?)

Sungchan is an IT major, who’s also taking his master’s degree while he’s working. He was originally an intern like you, who was absorbed by SM Tech as soon as he completed his degree. (Donghyuck thinks you and him are probably close because he’s taking the same path you when you started with SM Tech. Yeah, that could be a valid reason.)

Sungchan is also from the same hometown you grew up in, though you never really met each other until he started working at SM Tech. Sungchan has the same schedule as you and Donghyuck (don’t ask Donghyuck how he got these information—of course, it’s Jeno) and spends a lot of time in the rooftop playing with his Nintendo Switch.

The similarities between you and Jung Sungchan is scary at this point. Donghyuck barely spends lunch time with you because even a hardworking girl like you needs time for herself, and oh Lord, Donghyuck thinks. You spent a lot of time in the rooftop, too. You and Jung Sungchan may be closer than Donghyuck had imagined.

“Donghyuck?” you call, entering his office. Donghyuck quickly closes the window showing Sungchan’s profile in the employee directory. “I’m going to take my lunch. After this, come meet the applicants, please.”

Donghyuck’s eyebrows furrow in confusion.

You smile. “For my replacement.”

“Oh,” he breathes. “That quickly? I thought you’re staying for like a month?”

You nod. “I figured it’ll be a smoother transition if we hire my replacement as early as next week, that way, they could get used to your schedule and daily whereabouts before I leave.”

Before you leave, of course, Donghyuck remembers. Of course, you’re leaving.

Donghyuck forgets about Jung Sungchan, doesn’t even think about him when he asks you: “Wanna have lunch with me?”

His heart somersaults when you smile back and say: “I’d love that, Donghyuck.”

Lunch is nothing but your sweet, soft laughter whenever Donghyuck cracks a stupid joke. It’s nothing but Donghyuck’s heart doing its thing whenever you say something encouraging or when you reach over to wipe the sauce from the tip of his lips. It’s nothing but Donghyuck thinking why he never invited you for lunch, why all meals with you all these years have always been rushed and in the middle of stacks of  folders because you both had to quickly go back to work if you wanted to make it home before midnight, why stressful Friday nights were just wine inside his office, why he never took time to talk to you like this. Like it’s nothing but you and him.

You know Donghyuck like the back of your hand. Donghyuck asks himself, does he know you like you know him? He knows how you handle certain situations and is well aware of your quirks inside the office, but does he know you like how you know the pain the comes with being the grandson of Chairman Lee? Does he know you the way you know he’s never really been in love with any of the women he dated and that he’s only dating them to comply with his Mother’s ridiculous requests? Does he know you the way you know right away when he’s sick and needs a couple of days off?

You have done so many things for Donghyuck. While you’re helping him with a glass of wine, Donghyuck things: what has he done for you? Has he done something as exhausting as handling the date invitations and break-up procedure with his past girlfriends? Has he done something as marvelous as getting out of your way to make sure he gets the best treatment while he was on leave when he had that awful injury? Has he done something as remarkable as setting up an entire banquet dinner for his family when he forgot about his parents’ anniversary?

Has Donghyuck done something you would remember him by when you leave?

Something drops on the pit of his stomach, and Donghyuck suddenly wants to throw up at the thought of you leaving. And of course, you notice this right away because you stop eating as soon as Donghyuck froze on his seat.

“What’s wrong?”

I’m going to miss this, Donghyuck thinks, but he would rather die than admit it out loud.

“The steak is not as good as the other place,” he lies, shaking his head. “Which means, we’ll have to go there tomorrow.”

You chuckle. “Sure.”

・❥・・❥・・❥・・❥・

Lee Donghyuck isn’t scared of anything, but the sight right now is pretty much the scariest thing he’s ever seen his entire life.

As promised after lunch, you took Donghyuck to the Recruitment Hub to meet the potential candidates for your post. You and him might have forgotten, but neither of you had gone through the process of hiring somebody. You have never worked for anyone else apart from Donghyuck, and no one else has directly worked for Donghyuck apart from you.

So, when you and him step inside the Recruitment Hub, and all twenty-seven candidates simultaneously stand and greet you in chorus, it startles the shit out of you both.

“Uh, hello,” you greet awkwardly. “You can all sit. We’re just dropping by.”

A woman wearing all green approaches you with a confident façade, eyes and lips shaking as she walks towards you and Donghyuck.

“Hi, Y/N-ssi and daepyonim,” she greets in such a high-pitch voice, it’s impossible someone sounds like that naturally. “I’m excited to work with you.”

Donghyuck grimaces, but nods quickly, not accepting the handshake she’s offering. You accept it on his behalf.

One by one, the applicants introduce themselves, and Donghyuck can tell most of them are rookies, with the way they were bowing too much and how their voices were shaking a little because of the forced energy they’re trying to portray. All fucking twenty-seven of them.

Thank God, Soojung, the recruiter, stepped out of the interview room and asked everyone to sit and wait for their turn. She announces that the interview with Mr. Lee Donghyuck is not until they all pass the other interviews.

You and Donghyuck leave the scene, laughing on your way back to his office, because it was downright ridiculous, the scene you witnessed in the recruitment hub. He likes that you’re laughing with him, and Donghyuck take a chance:

“Stay,” he says softly, holding your hand. “Please.”

You smile back, squeezing his hand back before holding his face with both your hands, palms warm, and Donghyuck melts. “You know I can’t.”

“Why not?” he asks innocently. “Why can’t you stay?”

“You know why,” you answer.

“The proposal is still on,” he offers.

“Don’t joke about things like that, Donghyuck,” you giggle, squeezing his cheeks one last time before stepping back to leave.

“Why not?” he asks.

You don’t answer until you’re almost out the door: “I might start considering it.”

・❥・・❥・・❥・・❥・

It’s twenty-two days before you leave when Donghyuck finds you on your desk and hands you a laptop from Jeno’s office—all encrypted and set-up for work—and tells you that you can work from home all week next week.

“I can?” you ask. “I never worked from home. Not even during the pandemic. I worked from your home office. But never in my own home.”

Donghyuck nods. “I figured you’ve been tired all week, with the presentation in the next couple of weeks coming up.”

“Exactly,” you point out. “The presentation we’ve been preparing for is coming up. I should be here with you.”

Donghyuck’s heart does the thing again. “And you’ve worked hard enough for it. You’ve done the research part, which took the longest, and I’m grateful you covered all that for me. Which is why I’m letting you work from home all week.”

Implement remote schedules, the article reminds him.

“Oh, man, thank you,” you say, hugging the laptop and bowing to him. “I really appreciate it.”

Donghyuck wonders why you never ask about these things. Looking at your reaction, it looks like this is something you’ve wanted for a while, but why have you never asked? He would have said yes easily.

“You let me know if you need me in the office and I’ll be here right away.” Donghyuck nods. “Thank you.”

Donghyuck goes back to his office. He figured he’ll be okay with you not being in the office.

・❥・・❥・・❥・・❥・

He’s so wrong.

He’s not okay. It’s only been three working days since you started working from home and he’s already a mess. There are people knocking in his office because you aren’t there to shoo them away, and Donghyuck is not really a people-person, okay? If it weren’t for his Lee blood, he wouldn’t have made it to this position because he’s not that good with people. He’s mean and vile and rude, and his boss would probably fire him right away as soon as he opens his mouth.

Someone with the name of Chaewon is explaining something to him right now, something about logistics and about her needing him to give the sign off to another person with the name of Jiwon. She apologizes for barging in and says she doesn’t know what to do without you here. Donghyuck could say the same thing, honestly.

As soon as Chaewon is out the door, Donghyuck follows behind and locks the door.

He takes his phone and hopes you pick up because you’re probably focused on a report you’re studying since early morning.

You pick up, like always.

“Come back,” is all Donghyuck says.

You’re back in the office in no less than 20 minutes.

・❥・・❥・・❥・・❥・

Seventeen days from your departure, Donghyuck is walking around Gangnam trying to find the perfect gift for his Mother. The jewelry shop around the corner is the only place his mother likes, so he buys her the bracelet filled with diamonds that she’s been eyeing for a long time.

When Donghyuck is about to pay, a ring catches his attention. It looks great. Would look better on your hand, because, well, you have the prettiest hand. He’s going to buy it for you for no reason. Just to say thank you for staying with him for seven years.

・❥・・❥・・❥・・❥・

Exactly two weeks before your departure, Human Resources finally finds a person who’s apparently fit for your job. Donghyuck doesn’t believe them at all but agrees to meet the person anyway.

You’re on the phone with someone when he steps out of his office. You look at him and point to the phone.

“Hyunjin,” you mouth. Donghyuck shakes his head and waves his hands, telling you no, I’m not here.

“Yeah, I understand, Hyunjin-ssi,” you speak. “Donghyuck-ssi has been extremely busy with the potential partner who’s visiting in a week—Oh, he didn’t tell you about? I’m sorry. He must have forgotten.”

Donghyuck gives you a thumbs up. You owe me, you mouth again.

“I assure you there’s no one else, Hyunjin-ssi,” you speak again. “He’s in his office 12 hours a day, and his driver drops him home and picks him up every day, so I don’t think he’s sleeping around.”

Donghyuck sighs. He needs to make his mother stop setting him up with other women.

“I’ll definitely have him call you as soon as he returns from the meeting he’s in,” you say, voice empathetic, probably because you’ve mastered the art of handling Lee Donghyuck’s relationships. “I heard you were in the Dior Fashion Week last month? You were so beautiful!”

Donghyuck leaves and lets you do what you do best: handle things he can’t.

He knows you know the drill by now. Seven long years, about nine or ten girlfriends in between, none of which he ever really loved.

“You’re so corny,” you had said once, while composing a love letter for one of his ex-girlfriends. “This is, like, so outdated,”

“What is?”

“This whole process!” you laughed. “Donghyuck, we’ve been doing this for over five years. You’re so corny and repetitive and unoriginal. No wonder no woman ever stays.”

“I leave,” he corrected. “And I’m not repetitive.”

You snorted. “Donghyuck, I know how each of your relationship started and ended.”

“Do you?” he challenged. “Tell me then.”

“It always starts with your mom,” you joked, but it was true anyway. “And you send them an external e-mail from your work account because you’re a piece of shit who likes to brag the VP title.”

“Right,” he agreed, laughing.

“And the first date is always at Love Always,” you continued. “Nowhere else! Besides Love Always! It’s not even a good restaurant. People go there for the clout.”

“And for Instagram,” he added. “Of course, if I take her there, she would take many pictures to post on her Instagram.”

“The second date is in your office,” you said. “And Chef Park makes the food especially for you two. And I buy a fancy flower arrangement to decorate your entire office.”

“And you have the audacity to use my card and buy yourself tulips,” he interjected. You shrugged and poked your tongue on him. “But go on, what’s next?”

You cleared your throat. “The third date will only happen if you like her enough during the second date. The criteria are as follows: did she make a comment about the security system? She should, because Jeno invented that. If she doesn’t, there’s no third date.” Donghyuck is impressed. “Did she ask you to narrate a day in your life in this very office? She should be interested in what you do, otherwise she’d only be depressed because work is all you talk about. If she’s not, there’s no third date. Lastly, did she compliment Chef Park’s food? He’s the best chef in the entire work, so if she doesn’t, then there’s no third date.”

“Impressive,” Donghyuck commented. “But you missed something.”

“No, I didn’t,” you confidently answered. Donghyuck smiled.

“You missed the part where they have to be kind to you on the second date to get a third date.”

Donghyuck didn’t miss the blush on your cheeks.

“Whatever,” you shrugged. “Anyway, if it’s time for The Big Break-up, you ghost them for two or three weeks. When they start calling, La Belle Fleur is just a speed dial away. I have to get the most expensive arrangement of flowers, depending on the girl’s preference, and write in verbatim: I’m sorry I’m not enough for you. A woman like you deserves better. Please accept my apology. I will not bother you anymore.”

“Bingo!” Donghyuck confirmed. “And lastly—”

“Love always,” you said together. “Lee Donghyuck.”

(Hyunjin never got the third date, Donghyuck remembers. So, she’ll probably get the break-up flowers.)

・❥・・❥・・❥・・❥・

Zhong Chenle is bright like you when he enters Donghyuck’s office. Perhaps not as bright, but good enough.

“Donghyuck-ssi,” you start. “This is Zhong Chenle. Your new secretary. He will start tomorrow. I had facilities setup a desk and computer beside mine. We’re working on his ID and credentials today, so there should be no issues tomorrow.”

“Nice you meet you, daepyonim,” Chenle greets, bowing a complete 90 degrees. “I’ll work hard.”

Donghyuck only nods, still not used to talking to other people apart from you. He sees you mouth something to him, along the words of “be kind”, but Donghyuck’s not really in the mood to being kind when you just reminded him again that you’re leaving in literally two weeks.

“Have you sent the flowers to Hyunjin?” is what he says to you, tone mean and condescending.

“I’ll have it done in a minute. I wanted to introduce Chenle first before I—”

“We’ve been introduced,” he firmly says. “Now go do your job. Out.”

You look at him in disbelief, probably biting your tongue, but nod and leave anyway.

Donghyuck doesn’t know where this sudden change of mood is coming from; perhaps when he saw Chenle, he realized it’s real. He realized you’re leaving SM Tech. You’re leaving him.

Of all people, you are leaving him.

He would think seven years would mean something to you. His feelings are still unclear, but one thing is for sure, those years mean everything to him.

Donghyuck’s suddenly bitter. Angry at the fact that you had the audacity to even bring a new secretary for him. That you had to keep coming to work and showing him the things you do for him, further making him feel like you’re trying to show him he’d go limp without you.

Fuck trying to get you to stay.

You can go as far away as you want.

・❥・・❥・・❥・・❥・

“This isn’t right,” Donghyuck comments when he reads Chenle’s report.

“We’ll correct it right away,” you interject, but Donghyuck shakes his head.

“Do you expect me to accept work like this?” Donghyuck asks.

“Donghyuck, I’ll—”

“I’m not talking to you,” he spits, eyeing you before turning back to Chenle who has his head down. “You, Chenle!”

“Yes, daepyonim,” he says in a whisper.

“Talk louder,” Donghyuck commands. He hasn’t been like this in a while. During the first few years of working, he might have treated you this way, but it’s been so long that he can’t remember. “Do you expect me to accept work like this?”

“No, daepyonim,” the younger man answers. “I’m sorry. It was my first time, and—”

“And you should be forgiven? Who told you that? Whose rule is that?” Donghyuck challenges, then looks at you. “Y/N? Is that what she said? If you make a mistake, because it’s your first time, you’re forgiven? Is that it?”

You and Chenle remain silent. Donghyuck can’t read your face and would rather not look at you while he’s trying to be angry.

“Now you can’t answer?” he scoffs. “Don’t believe a word Y/N says. She’s leaving, why do you think she’s leaving? If this is such a great job, why would someone working here for seven fucking years leave? This is going to be your life every day. Rethink your fucking choices and get out of my office.”

Chenle nods, bowing before leaving. Donghyuck ignores you and goes back to his work, typing away. You, however, remain silent, just standing there watching him.

“What are you waiting for?” Donghyuck asks calmly. “Do you need me to walk you out of my office?”

“If you’re mad at me,” you say, voice shaking. Donghyuck realizes you’re about to cry. “Don’t take it out on the kid.”

Donghyuck snorts. “He needs to be tough if he wants this job.”

“I—” you start again. Donghyuck waits. But you keep your mouth shut.

Donghyuck keeps his eyes on his monitor and hears the door shut. When you’re gone, he can only watch the door, as if he’s expecting you to come back.

He reckoned it’ll be easier to watch you leave if you hate him. It’ll be easier to watch you leave when your eyes aren’t as bright and warm as they are.

Donghyuck keeps himself locked inside his office for the rest of the day. You leave a message in his inbox, telling him you and Chenle are out for lunch, then another when you returned exactly one hour later. Donghyuck doesn’t have the heart to reply to you.

Later that night, you send him another message saying you and Chenle are logging off for the day. He sighs in relief when he reads it and quickly prepares to leave as well. What he didn’t know is that, you and Chenle are still right outside his door. He stays behind the door.

“Donghyuck’s just stressed,” he hears you say. “You know, Weishen Inc is really big time. Like, if you already think SM Tech is huge, Weishen Inc is like, ten times.”

“He doesn’t deserve you,” Chenle replies. The kid’s probably right. “I don’t think I can fill the shoes you’re leaving behind.”

“You’ll be better than me!” you encourage him. “You’re already ten steps ahead with that skill in Microsoft Excel. Donghyuck had to teach me.”

“Really? That asshole has the patience to teach you?”

“Hey!” Then a slap, probably on Chenle’s arm. “Don’t talk shit about your boss.”

“You just told me ‘he can be an asshole sometimes’ literally five hours ago,” Chenle answers. Donghyuck stifles a laugh.

“Well, Donghyuck and I are friends,” you point out. “So, I guess that’s a pass to talk shit about him.”

“Fair,” Chenle agrees. “How did you even become friends with him?”

You chuckle. “I don’t know, Chenle. I guess, because we’ve been working together for seven years, we grew on each other. He was mean. Vile. He was the spawn of the devil when I first met him. But it was only because he was pressured to do well, and he can’t do well if his secretary is incompetent. I know everything I know because of him. That’s why I had to work hard, so that he could succeed in all of his endeavors.”

“So, you work hard for Lee Donghyuck?” the younger one asks.

“Exactly.”

“Well, what about you?”

“That’s why I’m quitting, kid,” you answer. “Time to work hard for me.”

Donghyuck hears them shuffle around, footsteps getting farther and farther away. When Donghyuck hears nothing but silence, he leaves.

・❥・・❥・・❥・・❥・

Days go by with you and Donghyuck not talking at all. Not even for work.

It’s seven days before you leave, and Donghyuck has given up on making you stay. He doesn’t think it’s worth fighting for anyway, because you’re leaving and nothing’s stopping you. And who is Donghyuck to stop you?

Who is Donghyuck to stop you from living your life and choosing yourself?

If he was being honest, he feels guilty over the fact that you had to live all these years jailed to being his secretary, but at the same time, there’s a needle poking his heart when he wonders why you make working with him sound so miserable. Why it feels like you never wanted any of these. Why seven years suddenly mean nothing but work for you.

Donghyuck wants to ask, what about all those hours when you and him aren’t working?

Nights of drinking at a convenience store because you would rather go home than spend so much money on overpriced drinks at a crowded, loud bar. That entire week of being stuck in the US together because all flights were canceled and the next earliest flight was six days after the original departure. Days of nothing but watching movies in his office because there were not clients to worry about. Dinners with his family, dinners at your place. Weekends in Japan because you and him are stressed and you need some kind of getaway.

Did… did Donghyuck force you all those times? Did you feel like you had to say yes because you’re working for him?

He needs to drink. Donghyuck doesn’t have many friends. He has Jeno, but Jeno is in New York right now. And, well, he had you. He can’t call you for many reasons.

So, he goes alone, of course. He leaves work early, leaving a message to Chenle that you and him can go home whenever. He tells his chauffer he can take the night off, too. Donghyuck doesn’t need anyone tonight. He can take care of himself, thank you very much.

He takes an Uber home, and drives himself after dressing up. He’s planning to get drunk as shit and to get laid tonight, so of course, he needs to look great.

The club is loud when he arrives, and he convinces himself he’s never too old to go clubbing, though with the look of the women’s faces here, he reminds himself to be careful and ask how old they are if he plans to make out with them.

He opens a tab and asks for some rum and coke to start off the night. He can’t remember how many drinks he’s had when he finally gets the courage to go dance and pull a woman wearing a tight, beautiful dress from the crowd. She smells great and Donghyuck feels the curve of her hips when he pulls her close.

And she’s kissing him now. Donghyuck hasn’t kissed anyone in a while, so he doesn’t know if it feels great.

Then she’s touching him everywhere, pushing him until he’s seated on a couch and she’s sitting on his lap. Her tongue is everywhere. One second it’s in his mouth, the next on his neck, and Donghyuck is just drunk as shit and wants to get laid.

How old are you is what he wants to ask but it comes out as: “How old is the hotel?”

“What?” the woman asks. “If you’re horny, we can do it here. There’s a bathroom on the back. Let’s go.”

Donghyuck shakes his head. He’s never had sex in such a scandalous place. Sex should be done in bed. “No. Bed sex only. Hotel, please.”

“You serious?” she asks. Donghyuck nods. “Fucking loser.” Then leaves.

Donghyuck laughs at himself. Yes, he’s definitely a loser. He looks down and his dick is not even hard enough to invite someone for sex. It’s fine though, the woman she was making out with doesn’t have eyes as bright as—

“Fuck off,” he says to no one. “Get the fuck out of my mind.”

He goes back to the bar and take as many tequila shots as he can. It seems like rum wasn’t enough to get you out of his mind, because he’s here to make out with people and have sex with someone but all he can think about is your stupid fucking eyes that he loves so much for some reason he could never comprehend.

Donghyuck doesn’t remember how many shots he’s had now, but his chest starts to hurt so he convinces himself to stop. He hands his card over to the guy at the bar and tells him to give himself KRW 100,000 as a tip. Then he’s out.

Donghyuck is dizzy as fuck when the lights from the streets hit him. He’s stumbling when he reaches his car keys and presses the buttons so he could find his car. It takes long for him to simply get to his car, and Donghyuck is stupid, but he’s not dumb. He’s not making it home alive if he tries to drive now. Perhaps he could sleep in his car all night. Yeah, that’s what he will do.

So, he gets in his car, rolls one of the windows down, and settles himself on the driver’s seat, eyelids heavy.

Then—

His phone rings.

“Y/N, baby,” he drunkenly greets, eyes still closed. “Why are you calling me?”

“Where are you?” you ask, worried. Donghyuck smiles.

“Aw, you miss me, baby?” he asks, giggling.

“You’re drunk.”

“I’m not,” he hiccups. “I was trying to have sex with someone. Apparently, I’m—I’m a loser for wanting to have sex on a bed than a dirty public restroom. How am I a loser for being able to afford a hotel for a one-night stand.”

You sigh on the other line. “Why are you—What are you even, you know what? I don’t want to know. Stay there. I have your location on.”

“No!” he protests. “Don’t come! I don’t want to see you! And I don’t want you to see me like this!”

“Don’t hang up,” you warn. “Are you on the street or something?”

“I’m in my car,” Donghyuck says anyway. “But I don’t want to see you.”

“I’ll wear a face mask so you don’t see me,” you answer. Donghyuck hears you shuffling on the other line, probably driving. How did you even know he’s out tonight?

“Wear sunglasses, too,” Donghyuck suggest. “I don’t want to see your eyes.”

“Okay.”

“No, don’t. I want to see them,” he says. “I probably won’t ever look at you in the eyes sober again.”

“Whatever you want, Donghyuck.”

“I’m about to pass out,” he whines. “Please come quickly. I need to see you before I pass out.”

“I’m nearby.”

“Wait no, don’t drive too fast,” he exclaims. “I need you alive.”

“I’ll be alive. I’m around the corner. Where are you parked?”

“Guess!”

“Donghyuck, I don’t want to play games with you. Please—there you are. Wait for me.”

“I’ll wait for you forever.”

The next scenes go by quickly in Donghyuck’s mind. You help him get out of his car and take him inside yours. You promise him you’ll pick up his car early in the morning and ask him to try to stay awake until you reach his penthouse.

Donghyuck tries his best. Everything is doubled in his sight, but he plays with the tablet connected to your car, and takes out everything you have in the small compartment in front of him. He reads all the labels and even the ingredients of the products you had in there in attempts of staying awake.

And when you reach his home, he realizes how great you smell.

You help him reach his bed and get him out of his clothes because you know he likes to sleep naked. You ask him to drink a glass of water before going to the bathroom, grabbing a towel soaked in warm water.

Donghyuck is already lying on his bed, snuggled in his blankets, when you return. You don’t talk, but Donghyuck thanks you when you start dabbing the towel all over his face then down to his neck and chest.

“Here,” Donghyuck points to the skin below his jaw. “Clean it. She kissed me there.”

Donghyuck is dazed, but he doesn’t miss the way you stopped as soon as he said that. “Clean me everywhere. Because she kissed me everywhere.”

And so, you do. You clean him everywhere, and Donghyuck feels you press harder on his skin, gliding the rough side of the towel harshly.

“Where else?” you ask. Donghyuck is already half asleep. “Where else did she kiss you?”

Donghyuck weakly points to his lips, one eye open. “Here.”

He watches you leave, going back inside his bathroom, and return with another towel, a cup and a bottle of mouthwash. He does his best to get up when you help him. You hand him the mouthwash, reminding him not to swallow it, and wait for him to clean his mouth. Once he’s done, you wipe his mouth with a clean towel, putting everything on his side table, and Donghyuck you’re sitting so close to Donghyuck now.

You’re holding him so tight, face inches away from him.

“Sleep, Donghyuck,” you whisper. Donghyuck leans closer. “Please.”

“I want to kiss you,” he confesses. “Kiss me. Please.”

“Donghyuck, let’s not do something you will regret later.”

“I won’t regret it because I won’t remember,” he answers. “Please kiss me.”

Donghyuck doesn’t know why he’s surprised when you do. He’s naked and you’re sitting on his bed, kissing him. And you’re kissing him like it’s all you ever wanted. You started softly kissing him, like you’re testing the waters or kissing something so delicate, like you’re scare you would break it, but Donghyuck pulls you closer, holds you by your jaw, and invites himself inside your mouth.

The next thing he knows, you’re sitting right on top of his boner and he’s unbuttoning your shirt and kissing everywhere, biting, nipping, licking—and God, you taste good. Better than he imagined. He’s about to unclasp your bra when you stop him.

“Donghyuck,” you whisper. “Let’s do this when you’re sober, yeah?”

Donghyuck nods like a child, and his boner hurts, he just wants to bust a nut, but agrees anyway.

He doesn’t remember much after that. He passes out as soon as you kiss him on the forehead with a promise of seeing him tomorrow. 

When he wakes up the next morning, he remembers everything.

・❥・・❥・・❥・・❥・

Two days before your departure and Donghyuck is yet to get the courage to speak with you.

He called in sick after the incident five nights ago and has been avoiding you like plague. Today, however, is the day the folks from Weishen Inc is vising SM Tech for his presentation, and he’s nothing but a bunch of nerves all morning.

He assumes he’s forgiven for everything when you step inside his office with a chamomile tea in hand. You know he can’t present anything properly without drinking chamomile tea first.

“You’re going to be great,” you offer with a small smile. “I’ll be there with you.”

“Thank you.”

“I’m sure Weishen will agree with the partnership,” you assure. “You worked so hard on this.”

“We,” he corrects. “You did more than I have. I’m all confidence and talk; you’re the research and brain.”

“Guess this is why we’re the best partners,” you joke. “We balance each other out.”

Donghyuck chuckles. “I wish you didn’t have to leave.”

You nod. “I know.”

“Tomorrow’s your last day.”

“Tomorrow’s my last day,” you agree. “But that’s tomorrow. Today, we’ll secure your partnership with Weishen Inc.”

“We will.”

Of course, you and Donghyuck secured the partnership. You and him were the best team the world has ever known.

・❥・・❥・・❥・・❥・

“The team prepared a goodbye party at the pantry for you,” Chenle says when you, him, and Donghyuck are walking back from the board room to Donghyuck’s office. “If you have nothing to do now, can we go?”

“Chenle, baby,” you say. “I don’t think you’re supposed to tell me.”

Chenle gasps. “I’m not?”

“It’s a surprise,” Donghyuck mumbles. “Jeno and his team prepared it. Chenle, you were supposed to ask her to grab coffee from the pantry.”

You laugh at Chenle’s distress. ”Nuna! I’m so sorry!"

You assure the younger one it’s okay, and ask Donghyuck’s permission if you could go, which Donghyuck agreed to, of course. There wasn’t anything else to do for the rest of the day, anyway. The only thing everybody had going on today was the business proposal presentation for Weishen Inc. and since that’s done, you were free to go.

“Donghyuck,” you call when Donghyuck was about to go back inside his office. “Please come. I want you to be there.”

Donghyuck nods. “I’ll be on my way. Just have to check something.”

You nod back, smiling, and Donghyuck feels like he’s about to cry. It’s all bittersweet, and Donghyuck wonders how he could stretch the day longer tomorrow.

He quickly takes the small box that’s been sitting inside his drawer for weeks now and runs back outside to the pantry.

When he gets there, everyone’s gathered around you, and he knows you’re crying already because he could hear Chenle teasing you.

He sees Jeno who smiles at him knowingly, and your other colleagues you’ve gotten close with over the last seven years. He even sees Jung Sungchan that he’s forgotten about now, and he’s not bothered that the younger man hugs you as you cry. Chenle pops the champagne open, and starts to pour some to as many people as he can.

It’s Jeno who raises a toast. “To Y/N, thank you for your seven long years of service with SM Tech. We wouldn’t have gotten where we are now if you weren’t with us. You literally bring us all together because Donghyuck is Donghyuck, God knows he wouldn’t work with anyone. So, if it weren’t for you, Client Solutions and SM Tech itself wouldn’t be a success. To Y/N, you’re finally free from Lee Donghyuck!”

You laugh at the message. Jeno turns to Donghyuck. “Donghyuck, wanna say something?”

Donghyuck thinks. He has a lot to say. A lot of things to thank you for, countless of things to apologize for, many things to celebrate, but very little comes out when he’s surrounded with a crowd like this.

Therefore, he says the only thing he could muster up: “You and I will always be the best team the world’s ever known.”

The crowd cheers, and you continue crying.

Donghyuck raises a glass, drinks it in one go, then leaves, the small box in his pocket heavy.

・❥・・❥・・❥・・❥・

It’s you who finds Donghyuck in the rooftop hours later.

He never realized how comforting this place can be. Because he was only ever here during his first two years working when he had to smoke his stress off from his body. The sun has set, and all Donghyuck could see are the lights from the streets and the buildings around SM Tech.

“Hey, stranger,” you tell him, sitting right beside him on the bench.

He only smiles and continues to stare ahead.

“Are you alright?” you ask.

Donghyuck chuckles. “Y/N, if you’re here to say goodbye, please don’t.”

“I’m not saying goodbye, Donghyuck,” you answer. “I was looking for you. You left.”

“I,” he starts. “I can’t handle that kind of atmosphere. You know that.”

You nod. “I figured. We took pictures. I wanted you there.”

Donghyuck remains silent. He lays his hand on top of his thigh, the one closer to you, and he lays it with his palm facing the sky, open, waiting for yours. You don’t need another second to figure it out.

It’s not the first time you’re holding hands. You held Donghyuck’s hand multiple times in this lifetime, and he held yours countless of times, but this one feels different.

You hold his hand like an assurance. Of what? Donghyuck isn’t sure. But he feels warm despite how cold it is up here. Like an assurance. Like certainty.

There were many things that Lee Donghyuck wasn’t sure of; things like getting that CEO role in the next couple of years, like how he’ll be able to make it without you outside his office, like how he can ensure that the partnership with Weishen Inc will run for a long time—even things like what would happen tomorrow. He’s always believed that his life is full of uncertainties despite receiving everything in a silver platter and that his life is crazy in many ways.

But here, under the starless sky of Seoul, he’s found the only thing he’s certain about and the only thing in his life that makes sense: you.

It’s you who have been with him in the past seven years. You who holds his hand at his lowest and cheers the loudest in his best. You who have always been gentle and kind and everything the world could never be. It’s you, the one he has loved for a long time without him knowing.

And he hopes it’s not too late.

When you decided to leave, he thought that the selfish part of him only needed you so he could succeed in his goals, because you have always been with him every step of the way from the day he started. Then he realized, you quitting would mean he would no longer see you every day, would no longer have someone to hold his hand when needs it, would no longer have someone laugh at his stupid jokes and tolerate his bullshit decisions, would no longer have anyone listen to him, would no longer have anyone to buy gifts for every Christmas, would no longer have anyone smile proudly at him every day.

Donghyuck cannot imagine a life without you. And when you said you were quitting because you wanted to get away from him, it hit Donghyuck like a fucking truck: you didn’t want him more than someone you’re working for, when all he’s ever really wanted is you. He goes to pointless dates thinking about you, whether you’d eaten or not, if you like the new album from that band you and him like, if you’d seen the new Avatar movie. And you were there, thinking of him only as Lee Donghyuck, the man you work for.

Which is why he’s so bitter about you leaving. Because you weren’t only leaving SM Tech. You were leaving Donghyuck.

But you’re here now. And you’re holding his hand, and Donghyuck wants, wants, wants.

Donghyuck wants you.

“I—”

“You—”

You giggle. “Alright, you go first.”

Donghyuck shakes his head. “I’ll throw up if I go first. You go first.”

You nod. “I’m going to miss you.” You smile.

“I miss you already,” Donghyuck whines. “But, go on.”

“I’m sure you remember what happened that night that’s why you called in sick all week,” you say. Donghyuck can blame the cold for the blush on his face. “And I remember, vividly. And I don’t regret it.”

Donghyuck nods. He doesn’t know what to say. He should’ve gone first.

“Do you regret it?” you ask, hopeful.

Donghyuck shakes his head. “Not one bit. I was scared you did. So, I ran away.”

“Why did you go out kissing other women,” you breathe. “When I’ve been waiting for a long, long time now?”

It’s Donghyuck who stops breathing when you say it. And he can’t believe you’re saying this now, because how long? How long have you two been blindly pining for each other like this? Why did it have to take you leaving for you to realize it.

“It’s true what they say,” you suddenly say. “You don’t know what you have until it’s gone. Donghyuck, I won’t wait for that to happen for me to tell you how important you are to me. I won’t wait until you’re gone for you to know how much you mean to me. I’m sorry if I made you feel like the last seven years mean nothing to me—that’s not at all the case. I love you, and it sounds ridiculous when I say this but I’m leaving because I do. Love you. So much. You cannot imagine how much I do, and I’m scared that I might only love you because I’m with you all the time, which is why I’m leaving. I’m leaving and I’ll be my own person and I’ll still love you.”

“Y/N…” Donghyuck struggles. “I thought you were leaving because you didn’t want me anymore.”

“I’ve never not wanted you, Donghyuck,” you confess. “I can’t remember a time that I didn’t love you.”

Donghyuck’s tongue is tied. So, he does the next best thing.

The ring that’s been kept in pocket is beautiful when he opens it towards your direction. “It’s not a proposal,” he says right away.

“It’s a promise?” you ask, teasingly. “I told you. You’re as corny as it can get.”

“I’m literally going to throw this ring out there,” Donghyuck replies. “Show me some respect. You still work for me.”

“That’s hot.”

“Y/N!”

He closes the box and hands it over to you. “It’s yours. That’s my heart and it’s yours. You keep it if you want to. Put it back in my desk first thing in the morning if you don’t.”

You take it with both hands. “And if I wear it?”

“Then it means your heart is mine, too.”

Normally, you would snicker and say something along the lines of cheesy and unoriginal, so, Donghyuck is surprised when you lean over and give him a peck on his cheek. Donghyuck blushes even more.

“I’ll see you tomorrow, Lee Donghyuck.”

Donghyuck smiles warmly, hand find yours again. You stand and go back inside the building. He turns so he can watch you leave, and the past few weeks, simply watching you step out of his office leaves a heavy weight on his chest, but this time around he watches you with a happy, content heart, knowing that he’ll see you again tomorrow—not for the last time; tomorrow and every day, he hopes. Love always, he hopes.

・❥・・❥・・❥・・❥・

[bonus: your POV]

Your last day in SM Tech isn’t as eventful as the day before. It’s mostly handing over your access badges and endorsing everything to Chenle and leaving all the reminders to Donghyuck’s desk.

You’ve bid farewell to mostly everyone, and you haven’t seen Donghyuck yet because he came in earlier than everyone else to meet his grandfather in the Chairman’s office. The ring on your finger is beautiful, and you can’t help but anticipate Donghyuck’s reaction when he sees it.

Lunch goes by, and Donghyuck is still in the Chairman’s office. You spend the rest of the day with Chenle, ensuring that you’ve endorsed everything. Jeno stops by a couple of times, checking on you and Donghyuck.

It’s around four in the afternoon when you see Donghyuck from the hallway, speaking with another VP, and he’s dressed so prettily today, a dark suit and tie, hair pushed back—handsome. You stand as he bids goodbye to the others, and you know he’s tired from the way his eyelids are drooping heavily even from afar. And when he sees you, God, when he sees you, he sighs in relief, eyes brighter than ever, as he walks towards you.

“I’m sorry, the chairman needed all his VPs all day today, none of us expected it,” he explains as soon as he reaches you. He hasn’t bothered to look at your hand yet. “You’ve had lunch, yes?”

You nod. “Chenle and I ordered sushi. You?”

“Yeah, the chairman prepared an entire banquet for us,” he answers. “Chenle, do you mind if I take Y/N away for a minute?

Chenle nods. “She’s all yours, daepyonim.”

Donghyuck smiles and takes you hand (the one without a ring), pulling you towards his office. You see Chenle smiling teasingly back in his desk.

As soon as the door is shut, Donghyuck pulls you into a hug, sighing in relief. “I needed this. And I’m sorry. It’s your last day here and I’m supposed to be by your side but you know, duty calls.”

“It’s fine,” you say, pulling back so you can look at his face, all tired and sleepy. You reach up. “You poor thing. We can go home early, if you want.”

“Yeah, I would—” You caress his face with both hands, and there, finally. “You’re wearing it.”

You nod, “Because my heart is yours.”

Donghyuck grimaces. “You’re right. It’s corny.”

“I told you.” You poke a tongue at him. “Now, may I kiss you?”

“I need a minute,” he says and you frown up at him. He untangles himself from you and walks over to his desk. “All you access have been deactivated, right?”

“Yeah,” you confirm. “At exactly 4pm, my Outlook no longer allowed me to login.”

“Alright,” he says and types something on his computer. “I just need to send one important e-mail and we can go.”

Your phone buzzes from the pocket of your suit. You take it and look at the notification: a new e-mail from your personal inbox. You look up back to Donghyuck, and he’s walking back towards you with a stupid, handsome smile on his face.

You shake your head, chuckling, as you open the new e-mail.

From: [email protected] To: [email protected]

Subject: Invitation

Greetings!

I hope this e-mail finds you well. You are cordially invited for an exclusive dinner with me tonight at your choice of restaurant, with an optional (and highly encouraged) offer to cuddle at my penthouse after.

Looking forward to your response.

Love always,

Lee Donghyuck Vice President, Client Solutions | [email protected] | SM Tech SK

#i love this #their relationship is so sweet :(( #i got a little teary eyed at the end ngl #the ending was so satisfying #thank u for making this masterpiece

[hyuckbeam]

hello, just wanted to drop by to tell you how i’m in love with the chenle fic you wrote :(((( you depicted chenle as such a soft boy and i’ve turned into a puddle because of it 😭😭😭😭😭

omg anonie 🥹 thank u sm for loving the fic hihi i thoroughly enjoyed working on it ++ i need to push the pink hair soft boy chenle agenda forward and i’m glad ure on board for that :>

#—asks #—anon!

[hyuckbeam]

always been yours

seasons will continue to change, but the moments you spend below the peach tree will remain cherished in your heart.

pairing | childhood neighbor!chenle x reader

genre | fluff, angst, kind of slice of life??

warnings + notes | afab!reader, usage of pet names (sweetheart, dear, sweetie)

wc | 3.0k words

a/n | this is purely self indulgent i love chenle so much,, i just churned this out like it was nothing- ;0; anyways, just thought i’d release this hell of a brainrot for all the little suns out there someone please talk to me about him before i get swept away by hyuck 😭 likes, rbs, and feedback are always appreciated <3 thank you for reading :>

it was around the end of winter when your mother asked you to place some fruit in a basket and find a matching ribbon to decorate it with. apparently you were visiting your new neighbors who had just moved in a few days ago, and this was how welcome greetings were normally done. you didn’t really care much at the time for someone who was only seven years of age. that piece of information was out of the boundaries of your brain comprehension at the time — the only thing you knew was your neighbors probably loved fruits a lot considering you’re personally delivering an entire basket’s worth of it.

“come along now, y/n. let’s get you dressed to meet the neighbors, hm?” your mother calls for you softly, urging you to look your best to make a good impression on your new neighbors. you didn’t really get why it was important to look presentable, but your mother said it was necessary, and so you obliged without any questions asked.

“can i wear the pretty beanie, please?” you requested, pointing at the white knitted beanie as your mother sectioned your hair into pigtails and secured them highly with a few elastics.

“alright, sweetie. it’ll keep you warm for the weather outside anyways.” she responded, much to your delight. at least you had a reason to wear your cute little beanie today — your mother wouldn’t usually let you do so since you never really got outside the house much to actually make use of the cozy hat.

sure enough, she twists around the last band to keep your hair in tact. “and that should do it! go get ready downstairs then we’ll go to their house, okay?”

“okay, okay!!” you exclaimed, making sure to grab your beanie before heading downstairs like your mother had instructed. it didn’t take long for her to follow along with your father, and before you knew it, you were already outside walking to meet your new neighbors with a gift in tow.

slowly, your parents knock on the door, and a woman who seems to be around the age of your mother appears from behind. “hello! we just came to welcome you and your family into the neighborhood.” you hear your father explain, which earns a lot of praises and words of gratitude from the unknown woman. she takes a small peek at you, a warm smile sent towards your direction. “i actually have a son around her age. i’m sure they’ll make good friends as well!”

a new friend? well, you certainly weren’t expecting that out of this short trip, but it couldn’t hurt to be more social, right? “i wanna meet him!” you tug at your mother’s sleeve, beaming at her.

“darling, he’s out by the backyard. why don’t you go look for him, and i’ll make sure to bring you both some snacks?” the woman tells you, her voice filled with nothing but kindness. “my name is mrs. zhong, but you can call me auntie, okay?”

“okay, auntie!” you giggle out happily. she was certainly nicer than you had put her out to be. plus, who could deny free snacks? she had you sold on the idea ever since.

mrs. zhong quickly gave you the directions to get to their backyard. it was one simple turn on the right corner, surely that was easy enough for you to understand, so you started to make your way out.

there, you find a boy—with hair as black as the night sky—planting a small sapling by the corner of their lot. from what you could assume, he was probably a year older than you. a few strands of his hair stick to his forehead but he doesn’t really seem to care. he was mesmerizing to seven year old you, and you couldn’t place a finger on why that was.

he quickly approaches you before you could observe him further from a distance, a radiant smile overtaking his features. he was kind of blinding in your eyes. kind of like the sun that shines in the sky. “hi! mom said i might make a friend today! would that be you? my name is chenle!”

this might have been the first time you met the boy, but you think he’s someone you’re going to be spending a lot of time with in the future. “it’s nice to meet you,” you greet, fixing your beanie in place. “my name is y/n!”

“well then, y/n, wanna help me plant the tree my dad bought? he told me it’s a peach tree!”

“hm? oh, okay!” you agreed in an instant, not really knowing what took over you. had you always been this eager to plant a tree? you didn’t really know.

however, just as this day marked the day you planted the tree, it also signified the start of your friendship with the young boy.

a long time has passed since then. seven years to be exact, yet your relationship with chenle has not changed one bit. what has changed, though, was the size of the peach tree you had planted all those years ago. it had grown to be healthy and leafy, providing just the right amount of shade when the summer heat starts creeping up.

today was like any other, chenle calling you over to meet him at his backyard in ten minutes after classes ended for the day. it had become a silent routine that ensued between the two of you since that fateful day of meeting each other. the both of you were practically two peas in the same pod. there was nothing that stood a chance in the way of your friendship.

as you reach home, you quickly place your school bag on the couch in your living room and look for your mother to inform her that you will be spending the afternoon at chenle’s.

that was when you caught wind of your parents conversation by the kitchen. they hadn’t noticed you just yet, so you remained quiet by the corner. there, you overheard discussions about having to relocate to another city because your father had been offered a higher paying position at the company he worked for, but that had come at the cost of having to switch headquarter buildings. it just so happened the new building your father was now assigned to was miles away from where you currently lived. it seems they’ve been talking about this for quite a while, already having plans on where to live.

a flurry of emotions bubbled up your chest. of course you were glad your father managed to receive a promotion for the betterment of the entire family, but what about the life you’ve come to love here in this bustling neighborhood? were you going to have to throw all that away? all those memories you’ve made over the years? what about chenle?

right, chenle. you were supposed to meet your friend soon, yet you didn’t want to disturb the ongoing conversation your parents had, and so you simply ran to his house despite not getting permission like you always had. perhaps it was alright. chenle’s mother would probably inform your parents later anyways.

his parents let you in their home without much question as they were used to your frequent visits. some polite greetings were shared between you and the zhongs before you searched for their son at his usual spot.

in their backyard, you find him watering the peach tree you grew together, treating the large tree with utmost care in hopes not a single leaf would wilt. as if sensing your presence, he turns around, flashing the bubbly grin that always greeted your arrival. you were going to miss little moments like this. you were going to miss him.

how you were going to break the news to him? was he going to feel just as heartbroken that you were leaving? should you just tell him and ruin his perfectly fine day? perhaps you shouldn’t have come over in such a hurry when you didn’t even have a plan on what you ought to do. he probably caught on from the sulk of your shoulders, the grin that lit his face up now forming a sullen frown.

“come on, tell me what’s wrong.” though you hated the idea of leaving him, you knew what needed to be done. he ought to know about it. you didn’t want him to be surprised if ever you were to suddenly vanish into thin air.

“i- i might be leaving.” you choke out, already feeling the salty tears wanting to slip away.

“you mean on a trip? why would you be crying about that?” he hums softly, brushing away strands of your hair that have shrouded your face.

“no, it’s not like that.” your voice barely a whisper, “i’m actually leaving soon. leaving the neighborhood.”

in lieu of any violent reactions like you were anticipating, he only reacted with a smile but his eyes held this expression you couldn’t comprehend. “you should take care, okay? you better not forget about me.”

you were completely unaware that his smile was merely an act to cover up his pain. one of you was already hurting as a result of this information, he couldn’t bare his emotions out to you right now — you needed someone to keep you grounded.

instead, he chose to comfort you through the warmth of a hug — hoping the action would convey the feelings he couldn’t show. it fate would allow it, he wished you’d return to him one day.

a day turned into months into years, and soon, you haven’t seen chenle for a total of thirty-six months. three whole years of losing physical contact with the boy who you called your home. you had exchanged phone numbers before you left, but the messages and calls had gone less frequent the more you two were buried in your own lives.

there were times you’d wonder about his life with your absence. is he holding up well? has he gone to make new friends? has he… forgotten you already? because you, sure as day, haven’t lost all your past recollections of him.

your parents had announced that you’d be returning back to that neighborhood since your father had been reassigned back whilst keeping his new position — only fueling your queries further. would he be happy to see you after so long? wouldn’t it be awkward if he didn’t recall your name?

the thoughts swirled your mind, adding to the complexity of your friendship — if there was still an ounce of it after being left to rubble away for a couple of years. still, you knew you wanted to see him again. and perhaps, he did too.

peachy boy ✨:

hey, is this still your number, y/n?

i heard you were coming back and just wanted to meet up again… for old times sake?

i’m sure you know where to find me when you do ;)

you quickly come up with a reply in agreement, cheeks flushing from the notion of seeing him again. realizing he was probably thinking about you at the same moment that you were thinking of him caused your heart to skip a beat. so he does remember you. that puts your mind at ease.

it doesn’t take long for your family to move back into the neighborhood, seeing they were as thrilled as you were to return to the familiar area.

oh, how the tides have shifted, you laugh to yourself at the thought. chenle used you be the new kid in the block, and yet, here you were in the same position years later. either way, you were simply delighted to be back, waves of nostalgia hitting you from every corner since your parents were able to buy the same house you used to live in.

you really felt at home here, but there was still one part of the equation missing. him.

you recalled he had sent you a message the other day and you could finally visit him. you’d been anticipating this moment for months, ever since your parents first brought up the idea of returning to the neighborhood.

quickly, you bring your small purse before informing your mother you were to head to chenle’s. she utters back a reply stating you should take care and greet your auntie and uncle properly when you see them. the entire exchange felt reminiscent to your younger days, making you chuckle a little at the similarities.

you make your way over to the house beside yours, ringing on the doorbell and hearing the familiar chime that resonates in the air. “sweetheart, look at how much you’ve grown!” mrs. zhong answers the door per usual, completely enamored by being able to see you again.

“thank you, auntie! i’m glad to see you’ve been doing well too.” you giggle out in reply, finding her words endearing.

“of course.” she responds, giving you a short-lived hug. oh, how you missed her too. “now, i shouldn’t be keeping you for too long. someone’s been waiting for you all day.”

this causes heat to creep up the apples of your cheeks, “oh dear. i’ll go see him now if that’s alright?”

“go ahead. i’ll be in the living room if you need me.”

after a soft ‘thank you’, you walk towards the door to their backyard, and under the familiar cool shade of the peach tree that grows in backyard of chenle’s house is where you find the boy who seems to be anticipating your arrival by the way he immediately shoots you a grin. his hair is now dyed a coral pink, quite resembling the fruits of the tree that looms over him. it’s no longer the raven locks you once knew, but the color definitely suited his bright image. “hey, you’re late by five minutes.”

despite all the things that’s changed over the years, it was just like you never left.

“what’s a measly five minutes going to do to you?” you muse sweetly, taking the empty spot beside him as you always do. the grass was prickly under the fruit tree, but you suppose his company always made it feel like nothing, even back then.

“i’ll have you know, the wait was agonizing.” his words fall out of his tongue like honey as he eyes your figure, resting his head on his shoulder once you’ve settled down under the shade. it’s a habit of his that you’ve gotten used to from when you were kids, naturally resting your head atop his.

“i missed you.” he softly breathes out once the air went quiet, the faint sound of the cool breeze being the only thing heard.

those three words raise a soft smile on your lips. he’s never failed to remind you of how much you’re loved. “i know. you always do.”

“today feels different though.” this has you sitting up straight to meet his eyes, not expecting him to say something by the lines of that. “what do you mean?”

“it’s almost as if i don’t want to walk you back home later, in fact, i’m dreading for when i have to.” the way he said those words were solemn in nature. was this how he regularly felt all those years ago? you could see where the complaint was coming from. after all, he’d have to leave his house just to bring you back home when he was already here in the first place.

“oh, if you’re tired, you don’t need to take me home later. i’m much older now, and i can take care of myself, don’t sweat it-“ you reply earnestly, worried for his well-being.

“no- um, that’s not what i meant.” this was the first time you’ve ever heard him stutter out his words. he freely spoke his mind at any given opportunity, never feeling the need to hesitate in what he had to say. “i wish i didn’t have to since parting with you would have been inevitable. i don’t want that.”

a pair of warm hands now rest on your shoulders, prompting you to look him in the eye. you see him properly for the first time today, speckles of sunlight peeking from the leaves of the tree dot his face gently like minuscule freckles. the chenle you knew in the past had grown up bearing the same feelings you did — just as if you had both been in the same wavelength this entire time, silently holding onto each other as the feelings blossomed like the pale-colored flowers that brought life to the peach tree you both sat underneath.

chenle was surprisingly composed for someone who had just confessed to a ten-year crush (you needn’t know that). yet, for him, the fact that he had finally laid himself bare in your company was sufficient enough, even if you were to reject him in this moment.

you, on the other hand, truly didn’t know how to respond to something so heartfelt. your own heart couldn’t even control itself, wanting to break free from the shackles of your chest. and so there you stayed, frozen in place.

“sorry, today probably wasn’t the right day, huh?” his words were still gentle and warm like a fluffy blanket, even if slight disappointment was hidden behind it. it’s true, he already felt fulfilled from being able to go through with his confession, but he’d be lying to himself if he said it didn’t hurt. “i probably should have waited till you and your family settled in first but i… i couldn’t help it.”

“no. today was the perfect day for you to tell me.” you breathe out, cheeks puffing due to the smile you were unable to contain. “i’ll tell my mother i’m staying over tonight. you’ll have me, right?”

“of course.” his eyes crease, forming little whiskers on his skin. a traits of his that you’ve noticed over the years and adored because it meant he was genuinely happy. “i’m all yours. always have been.”

taglist | @haeravlgs, @liyaliar, @1-800-call-ria, @winwonies

#—feedback #thank u for the kind words omg #i’m glad u liked it!!

[hyuckbeam]

always been yours

seasons will continue to change, but the moments you spend below the peach tree will remain cherished in your heart.

pairing | childhood neighbor!chenle x reader

genre | fluff, angst, kind of slice of life??

warnings + notes | afab!reader, usage of pet names (sweetheart, dear, sweetie)

wc | 3.0k words

a/n | this is purely self indulgent i love chenle so much,, i just churned this out like it was nothing- ;0; anyways, just thought i’d release this hell of a brainrot for all the little suns out there someone please talk to me about him before i get swept away by hyuck 😭 likes, rbs, and feedback are always appreciated <3 thank you for reading :>

it was around the end of winter when your mother asked you to place some fruit in a basket and find a matching ribbon to decorate it with. apparently you were visiting your new neighbors who had just moved in a few days ago, and this was how welcome greetings were normally done. you didn’t really care much at the time for someone who was only seven years of age. that piece of information was out of the boundaries of your brain comprehension at the time — the only thing you knew was your neighbors probably loved fruits a lot considering you’re personally delivering an entire basket’s worth of it.

“come along now, y/n. let’s get you dressed to meet the neighbors, hm?” your mother calls for you softly, urging you to look your best to make a good impression on your new neighbors. you didn’t really get why it was important to look presentable, but your mother said it was necessary, and so you obliged without any questions asked.

“can i wear the pretty beanie, please?” you requested, pointing at the white knitted beanie as your mother sectioned your hair into pigtails and secured them highly with a few elastics.

“alright, sweetie. it’ll keep you warm for the weather outside anyways.” she responded, much to your delight. at least you had a reason to wear your cute little beanie today — your mother wouldn’t usually let you do so since you never really got outside the house much to actually make use of the cozy hat.

sure enough, she twists around the last band to keep your hair in tact. “and that should do it! go get ready downstairs then we’ll go to their house, okay?”

“okay, okay!!” you exclaimed, making sure to grab your beanie before heading downstairs like your mother had instructed. it didn’t take long for her to follow along with your father, and before you knew it, you were already outside walking to meet your new neighbors with a gift in tow.

slowly, your parents knock on the door, and a woman who seems to be around the age of your mother appears from behind. “hello! we just came to welcome you and your family into the neighborhood.” you hear your father explain, which earns a lot of praises and words of gratitude from the unknown woman. she takes a small peek at you, a warm smile sent towards your direction. “i actually have a son around her age. i’m sure they’ll make good friends as well!”

a new friend? well, you certainly weren’t expecting that out of this short trip, but it couldn’t hurt to be more social, right? “i wanna meet him!” you tug at your mother’s sleeve, beaming at her.

“darling, he’s out by the backyard. why don’t you go look for him, and i’ll make sure to bring you both some snacks?” the woman tells you, her voice filled with nothing but kindness. “my name is mrs. zhong, but you can call me auntie, okay?”

“okay, auntie!” you giggle out happily. she was certainly nicer than you had put her out to be. plus, who could deny free snacks? she had you sold on the idea ever since.

mrs. zhong quickly gave you the directions to get to their backyard. it was one simple turn on the right corner, surely that was easy enough for you to understand, so you started to make your way out.

there, you find a boy—with hair as black as the night sky—planting a small sapling by the corner of their lot. from what you could assume, he was probably a year older than you. a few strands of his hair stick to his forehead but he doesn’t really seem to care. he was mesmerizing to seven year old you, and you couldn’t place a finger on why that was.

he quickly approaches you before you could observe him further from a distance, a radiant smile overtaking his features. he was kind of blinding in your eyes. kind of like the sun that shines in the sky. “hi! mom said i might make a friend today! would that be you? my name is chenle!”

this might have been the first time you met the boy, but you think he’s someone you’re going to be spending a lot of time with in the future. “it’s nice to meet you,” you greet, fixing your beanie in place. “my name is y/n!”

“well then, y/n, wanna help me plant the tree my dad bought? he told me it’s a peach tree!”

“hm? oh, okay!” you agreed in an instant, not really knowing what took over you. had you always been this eager to plant a tree? you didn’t really know.

however, just as this day marked the day you planted the tree, it also signified the start of your friendship with the young boy.

a long time has passed since then. seven years to be exact, yet your relationship with chenle has not changed one bit. what has changed, though, was the size of the peach tree you had planted all those years ago. it had grown to be healthy and leafy, providing just the right amount of shade when the summer heat starts creeping up.

today was like any other, chenle calling you over to meet him at his backyard in ten minutes after classes ended for the day. it had become a silent routine that ensued between the two of you since that fateful day of meeting each other. the both of you were practically two peas in the same pod. there was nothing that stood a chance in the way of your friendship.

as you reach home, you quickly place your school bag on the couch in your living room and look for your mother to inform her that you will be spending the afternoon at chenle’s.

that was when you caught wind of your parents conversation by the kitchen. they hadn’t noticed you just yet, so you remained quiet by the corner. there, you overheard discussions about having to relocate to another city because your father had been offered a higher paying position at the company he worked for, but that had come at the cost of having to switch headquarter buildings. it just so happened the new building your father was now assigned to was miles away from where you currently lived. it seems they’ve been talking about this for quite a while, already having plans on where to live.

a flurry of emotions bubbled up your chest. of course you were glad your father managed to receive a promotion for the betterment of the entire family, but what about the life you’ve come to love here in this bustling neighborhood? were you going to have to throw all that away? all those memories you’ve made over the years? what about chenle?

right, chenle. you were supposed to meet your friend soon, yet you didn’t want to disturb the ongoing conversation your parents had, and so you simply ran to his house despite not getting permission like you always had. perhaps it was alright. chenle’s mother would probably inform your parents later anyways.

his parents let you in their home without much question as they were used to your frequent visits. some polite greetings were shared between you and the zhongs before you searched for their son at his usual spot.

in their backyard, you find him watering the peach tree you grew together, treating the large tree with utmost care in hopes not a single leaf would wilt. as if sensing your presence, he turns around, flashing the bubbly grin that always greeted your arrival. you were going to miss little moments like this. you were going to miss him.

how you were going to break the news to him? was he going to feel just as heartbroken that you were leaving? should you just tell him and ruin his perfectly fine day? perhaps you shouldn’t have come over in such a hurry when you didn’t even have a plan on what you ought to do. he probably caught on from the sulk of your shoulders, the grin that lit his face up now forming a sullen frown.

“come on, tell me what’s wrong.” though you hated the idea of leaving him, you knew what needed to be done. he ought to know about it. you didn’t want him to be surprised if ever you were to suddenly vanish into thin air.

“i- i might be leaving.” you choke out, already feeling the salty tears wanting to slip away.

“you mean on a trip? why would you be crying about that?” he hums softly, brushing away strands of your hair that have shrouded your face.

“no, it’s not like that.” your voice barely a whisper, “i’m actually leaving soon. leaving the neighborhood.”

in lieu of any violent reactions like you were anticipating, he only reacted with a smile but his eyes held this expression you couldn’t comprehend. “you should take care, okay? you better not forget about me.”

you were completely unaware that his smile was merely an act to cover up his pain. one of you was already hurting as a result of this information, he couldn’t bare his emotions out to you right now — you needed someone to keep you grounded.

instead, he chose to comfort you through the warmth of a hug — hoping the action would convey the feelings he couldn’t show. it fate would allow it, he wished you’d return to him one day.

a day turned into months into years, and soon, you haven’t seen chenle for a total of thirty-six months. three whole years of losing physical contact with the boy who you called your home. you had exchanged phone numbers before you left, but the messages and calls had gone less frequent the more you two were buried in your own lives.

there were times you’d wonder about his life with your absence. is he holding up well? has he gone to make new friends? has he… forgotten you already? because you, sure as day, haven’t lost all your past recollections of him.

your parents had announced that you’d be returning back to that neighborhood since your father had been reassigned back whilst keeping his new position — only fueling your queries further. would he be happy to see you after so long? wouldn’t it be awkward if he didn’t recall your name?

the thoughts swirled your mind, adding to the complexity of your friendship — if there was still an ounce of it after being left to rubble away for a couple of years. still, you knew you wanted to see him again. and perhaps, he did too.

peachy boy ✨:

hey, is this still your number, y/n?

i heard you were coming back and just wanted to meet up again… for old times sake?

i’m sure you know where to find me when you do ;)

you quickly come up with a reply in agreement, cheeks flushing from the notion of seeing him again. realizing he was probably thinking about you at the same moment that you were thinking of him caused your heart to skip a beat. so he does remember you. that puts your mind at ease.

it doesn’t take long for your family to move back into the neighborhood, seeing they were as thrilled as you were to return to the familiar area.

oh, how the tides have shifted, you laugh to yourself at the thought. chenle used you be the new kid in the block, and yet, here you were in the same position years later. either way, you were simply delighted to be back, waves of nostalgia hitting you from every corner since your parents were able to buy the same house you used to live in.

you really felt at home here, but there was still one part of the equation missing. him.

you recalled he had sent you a message the other day and you could finally visit him. you’d been anticipating this moment for months, ever since your parents first brought up the idea of returning to the neighborhood.

quickly, you bring your small purse before informing your mother you were to head to chenle’s. she utters back a reply stating you should take care and greet your auntie and uncle properly when you see them. the entire exchange felt reminiscent to your younger days, making you chuckle a little at the similarities.

you make your way over to the house beside yours, ringing on the doorbell and hearing the familiar chime that resonates in the air. “sweetheart, look at how much you’ve grown!” mrs. zhong answers the door per usual, completely enamored by being able to see you again.

“thank you, auntie! i’m glad to see you’ve been doing well too.” you giggle out in reply, finding her words endearing.

“of course.” she responds, giving you a short-lived hug. oh, how you missed her too. “now, i shouldn’t be keeping you for too long. someone’s been waiting for you all day.”

this causes heat to creep up the apples of your cheeks, “oh dear. i’ll go see him now if that’s alright?”

“go ahead. i’ll be in the living room if you need me.”

after a soft ‘thank you’, you walk towards the door to their backyard, and under the familiar cool shade of the peach tree that grows in backyard of chenle’s house is where you find the boy who seems to be anticipating your arrival by the way he immediately shoots you a grin. his hair is now dyed a coral pink, quite resembling the fruits of the tree that looms over him. it’s no longer the raven locks you once knew, but the color definitely suited his bright image. “hey, you’re late by five minutes.”

despite all the things that’s changed over the years, it was just like you never left.

“what’s a measly five minutes going to do to you?” you muse sweetly, taking the empty spot beside him as you always do. the grass was prickly under the fruit tree, but you suppose his company always made it feel like nothing, even back then.

“i’ll have you know, the wait was agonizing.” his words fall out of his tongue like honey as he eyes your figure, resting his head on his shoulder once you’ve settled down under the shade. it’s a habit of his that you’ve gotten used to from when you were kids, naturally resting your head atop his.

“i missed you.” he softly breathes out once the air went quiet, the faint sound of the cool breeze being the only thing heard.

those three words raise a soft smile on your lips. he’s never failed to remind you of how much you’re loved. “i know. you always do.”

“today feels different though.” this has you sitting up straight to meet his eyes, not expecting him to say something by the lines of that. “what do you mean?”

“it’s almost as if i don’t want to walk you back home later, in fact, i’m dreading for when i have to.” the way he said those words were solemn in nature. was this how he regularly felt all those years ago? you could see where the complaint was coming from. after all, he’d have to leave his house just to bring you back home when he was already here in the first place.

“oh, if you’re tired, you don’t need to take me home later. i’m much older now, and i can take care of myself, don’t sweat it-“ you reply earnestly, worried for his well-being.

“no- um, that’s not what i meant.” this was the first time you’ve ever heard him stutter out his words. he freely spoke his mind at any given opportunity, never feeling the need to hesitate in what he had to say. “i wish i didn’t have to since parting with you would have been inevitable. i don’t want that.”

a pair of warm hands now rest on your shoulders, prompting you to look him in the eye. you see him properly for the first time today, speckles of sunlight peeking from the leaves of the tree dot his face gently like minuscule freckles. the chenle you knew in the past had grown up bearing the same feelings you did — just as if you had both been in the same wavelength this entire time, silently holding onto each other as the feelings blossomed like the pale-colored flowers that brought life to the peach tree you both sat underneath.

chenle was surprisingly composed for someone who had just confessed to a ten-year crush (you needn’t know that). yet, for him, the fact that he had finally laid himself bare in your company was sufficient enough, even if you were to reject him in this moment.

you, on the other hand, truly didn’t know how to respond to something so heartfelt. your own heart couldn’t even control itself, wanting to break free from the shackles of your chest. and so there you stayed, frozen in place.

“sorry, today probably wasn’t the right day, huh?” his words were still gentle and warm like a fluffy blanket, even if slight disappointment was hidden behind it. it’s true, he already felt fulfilled from being able to go through with his confession, but he’d be lying to himself if he said it didn’t hurt. “i probably should have waited till you and your family settled in first but i… i couldn’t help it.”

“no. today was the perfect day for you to tell me.” you breathe out, cheeks puffing due to the smile you were unable to contain. “i’ll tell my mother i’m staying over tonight. you’ll have me, right?”

“of course.” his eyes crease, forming little whiskers on his skin. a traits of his that you’ve noticed over the years and adored because it meant he was genuinely happy. “i’m all yours. always have been.”

taglist | @haeravlgs, @liyaliar, @1-800-call-ria, @winwonies

#—hyuckbeam #chenle #chenle fluff #chenle angst #nct #nct fluff #nct angst #nct dream #nct dream fluff #nct dream angst #nct x reader #fluff #angst

[hyuckbeam]

i mayhaps will release a chenle fic made with pure impulse- it was a moment of weakness but would anyone want to be tagged for it ;0;

this is also my sad attempt at finding little suns pls pls pls be my friend i will offer you my entire soul 🥹🥹🥹

edit: it’s out now here if anyone’s still interested!!

#chenle #zhong chenle #chenle fluff #chenle angst #nct #nct fluff #nct angst #nct dream #nct dream fluff #nct dream angst

[hyuckbeam]

[hyuckbeam]

HII JUST CAME BY TO SAY IVE BEEN WAITING FOR THE TTTC HAECHAN FIC FOR SO LONG AND IM SO HAPPY ITS OUT 😭😭😭😭 i love how you keep writing about the dummies to lovers haechan trope like it fits him so so well and im actually hooked on it 😫 super excited for the jaemin one now!!!

i’m so sorry for taking a while on it anonie 🥹 i hope the wait was worth it though!! it’s the longest one out of the three i’ve written for the series so maybe that’s why it took a little bit longer ><

also i cant seem to stop writing about dummy hyuck,, like it just unconsciously happens,, so you might just see more of that in the future as well 😭

++ havent started on jaemin’s yet but i’m so glad to hear ure already looking forward to it omg 🥺🥺

#—asks #—anon! #tttc: im never letting go

[hyuckbeam]

i’m never letting go

there’s no doubt you have a bone to pick with haechan — you like to think he just can’t help but get on your nerves, always comparing himself to you like life is some silly competition. that doesn’t mean you’re one to back down though. being your rival for so long, lee haechan has seen you date others in the past and has thought nothing of it, but why does he get ticked every time you hang out with your “best friend” a little too closely?

pairing | rival!haechan x college student!reader

genre | fluff, angst, dummy rivals throughout the entire fic, slightly suggestive in some parts, college au

warnings + notes | cursing, pet names (sunshine, bro), mentions of food, descriptions of anxiety, bff!chenle

wc | 6.1k words

a/n | this definitely took longer than expected to finish but the third part to the tttc series is out now! i’d love to know what you think about this one so feel free to send me anything <3 as always, rbs, likes, and feedback are highly appreciated ;0; thank you!

song recs | love - stayc, heartbreak feels so good - fall out boy, stranger - lauv

tttc m.list, main m.list

you were definitely being tested by god right now.

you were well known in your batch for having the most tolerance out of anyone, naturally gaining the title “angel of patience”. it was highly unlikely for someone to tick you the wrong way, though, that didn’t mean it was impossible. there were always… a few special cases. you were human, after all.

back in sixth grade, you vividly remember how your seatmate asked to borrow a pencil. you didn’t think much on it at first, gladly lending the said pencil. what you weren’t expecting was for them to make a toy out of it, sharpening the tip just for pure entertainment. to you, it was a waste. i mean- why would someone even do that in the first place? seriously.

another time was when a couple of boys decided to spill orange juice on your uniform. they claimed it was a harmless prank, and yet, not one bit of a chuckle came out your throat. you certainly weren’t going to let them go as simple as that. who were you? someone others could easily step on? let’s just say you never saw those same boys within your sight ever again.

though, you believe none of those experiences compare to the most horrid addition of “special cases” — that being your classmate in calculus, lee donghyuck, who’s much more often referred to by the name of haechan. your entire college life was filled with him pushing your buttons.

how fitting considering you’re taking calculus together. the concept of limits was no longer just a value that was tormenting for any student to solve because it now included haechan being the limit of your patience. not only did he enjoy every second of teasing you, he knew what he was doing, knowing just the right tactics to pop the fuse of your usually calm nature.

aside from your supposed never-ending patience, another thing you were known for was doing well on most of your subjects.

keyword: most.

calculus was not exactly one of those subjects… you were able to keep up with class, but your scores couldn’t exactly compare to haechan’s by a pretty long shot.

what’s even worse was the fact that the devil (re:haechan) didn’t seem fazed by any of the topics being taught in class, and here you were struggling to keep your head afloat.

truthfully, you were the only one who hated haechan to this degree. most people absolutely adored the boy, a vast contrast to your notion of him being the living reincarnation of the red evil spirit himself. though, you had a reason to (or at least that’s what you tell yourself).

no matter which class you two shared, it always ended up in a competition for the top spot. it wasn’t like you had a superiority complex or anything, but you’d be lying if you said you didn’t like the validation it gave. to you, it meant you were doing well — physical proof that you weren’t doing just ‘something’ in your life because it turned out to be fruitful in the end.

haechan was your sole rival, the only person who had both the guts and the brains to challenge the spot you fought hard to fend off. he was never lacking in the personality department either, having the happy-go-lucky type that all the girls in tour class seem to be into these days.

anyone would swoon for him. well, everyone but you. at the end of the day, he was still your rival. you were never going to fall for someone in the likes of him. perhaps that’s why he’s taken the time to make your life a living hell by constantly staying in your presence.

even now, you’re fighting the urge not to punch his face as he tries getting your attention by messing up your hair with his fingers. “lee haechan, if you don’t drop it right now, you’re going to lose a limb in the next five seconds.”

“as long as it’s not my di-”

“i shouldn’t have given you the five seconds.”

“calm your horses, sunshine.” the boy teasing coos in your ear, his breath tickling your skin ever so slightly.

he’s been using that sickeningly, sweet nickname for you lately, making everyone think the two of you have some secret relationship going on. others would be dying to be in your position, but this was the last thing you wanted.

you wanted nothing to do with him.

well, now you had something to do with him.

“class, we’ll be doing a pairwork assessment in the upcoming week. i’ve already partnered each of you accordingly, please check the groupings list when you have some time to spare. don’t forget your finals come the week after as well!” your professor’s voice chirps through your ears early in the morning. you never had the best odds when it came to groupmates, most of them taking your kindness for granted before slacking off and leaving you with all the unfinished work.

you hope the god up there hears your pleas for once. having no one to help you for something that was meant to be done by a ‘pair’ was slowly but surely taking a toll on both your mental and physical well-being.

just. one. decent. partner. that’s all you were asking for.

after seeing the name beside yours on the list, you’re beginning to think there really is no god watching over your frail soul. lee haechan — his name might have just been the one you dreaded the most out of all your classmates, the all too familiar feeling of your heart sinking was starting to kick in.

speak of the devil.

“sunshine, we’re groupmates!” haechan peers over your shoulder, a bit too close for your liking.

with a small huff, you bring yourself to respond. “i wish we weren’t.”

“c’mon, don’t be too sad now. on the bright side, i’d say you’re getting a free grade for this subject through me.” he proudly announces, a knowing smirk beginning to pull the corners of his lips upwards. it’s almost as if he’s taunting you, silently conveying that you wouldn’t be able to pass this class without his help (which is not far from the truth if you consider how good he really is, but you’d rather not make that information public).

“whatever. let’s just work on our parts separately-”

“you’re coming to my house at five on friday so we can work on this.” he quickly refutes, not even giving you a chance to complete your sentence. frankly, you were starting to feel like a fool around him from the amount of times he’s rendered you speechless. “i’ll send you the location now.”

“i’m not free at that time.”

“that’s not what your schedule says if i remember correctly.”

haechan wasn’t wrong (again) — you were completely free during the time he suggested, however, you just didn’t want to meet up with him, especially during a time outside class hours. was that so bad to wish for? more importantly… how does he have your schedule memorized from the top of his mind?

flustered after getting caught in a lie, you were pretty much at a loss for words. “i- fine. friday at five.” you repeat his words from earlier, earning a cheerful grin from the boy.

“good. i’ll see you then, little sunshine!” you couldn’t possibly fathom his sheer excitement for this pairwork because you were surely feeling the opposite, worry already seeping in. it felt like you were reading one of those webcomics that placed a foreshadow and ended on a cliffhanger.

you can’t believe you just agreed to this arrangement.

-0-

“tell me i’m going crazy for allowing myself to be partners with the devil.” you beg your best friend in a desperate whine, shaking his body from the shoulders after ranting about your day to him.

“dude, i always think you’re unhinged-” chenle deadpans, giving you a look that makes you immediately stop wiggling him around like one of those inflatable waving balloons at gas stations. “just not for the same reason. isn’t he pretty good at calculus though? i don’t see where your problem lies exactly.”

you were currently at chenle’s for one of your regular sleepovers. it was much more comfortable in his home than your own tiny dorm room, especially when he had an apartment all to himself (courtesy of his parents).

as your parents all attended college together, the two of you have known each other since you were in diapers. at this point, you were essentially chenle's sister.

“that’s EXACTLY my problem. why does he have to be good at the only subject im dingy at. he’s always mocking me for being bad at it! like i’m stupid or something.” your words all come out as grumbles, the boy beside you knowing just how much you hated being belittled, most particularly when it came to your efforts in academics.

“aren’t you a little too old to be overly-fixated on a guy like him?”

“why yes. yes, i am.” this was beginning to sound like the start of every phineas and ferb episode the two of you grew up watching together. at least you were aware of your fixation with haechan… right? the boy just seemed to piss you off every time you think about him — it might as well pass as a hidden talent of his.

chenle’s laugh fills the room, having caught on to the similarities as well. “i’ll admit he’s a bit too much sometimes, but i don’t think he’s that bad.”

“is this you revoking our friendship rights because it sure does sound like it.” you gawk at the boy beside you, “but really, you’ve seen the way he’s treated me before.”

“i can’t lie there… but the guy has a good bone in him!” you swear chenle mutters a quick ‘i think…’ right after, causing you to snort in reply. sometimes, you wish you had even a fraction of his optimism. maybe, you wouldn’t be feeling so unsure about being partners with haechan.

“okay then, let’s see if that’s really true or not.” you conclude, taking the corner of the blanket chenle’s using and pulling half of it over to your lap. “though, i highly doubt it is.”

you most definitely thought wrong.

have your hunches always been this bad? you could’ve sworn the same thing happened yesterday too.

here you were right in front of the house address haechan sent you a few days ago. you figured it would lead you to a condominium or local dormitory (as per the usual for most students), but that wasn’t the case at all. the home in front of you seemed pretty big for a single college student to have all to themselves, and it looked fairly lived in already with a small, but well maintained flower garden decorating the outside…

did he just give you the address to his family home?

you check the time on your phone for the nth time, ten minutes till you’re supposed to meet with haechan. if you were going to ring on the doorbell, it was now or never.

as soon as the door swung open, your theories were immediately confirmed, now face to face with a woman who had an uncanny resemblance to your project partner. they even shared the same manner their eyes curve when they smile. she was his mother, without a single doubt.

“my! you must be donghyuck’s partner from school?” her tone was cheerful, almost in the same way as haechan’s, but it was filled with more care. perhaps it was the mother in her that got you to feel comfortable in her presence already. “he did say someone was going to arrive today.”

“yeah, that’s probably me, mrs. lee. it’s lovely to meet you-”

“oh deary, come in! the sun’s rays are going to burn your skin if you stay out any longer.”

maybe haechan and his mother shared another similarity: being unable to wait for someone to finish their sentence. either way, you didn’t think too much of it, focusing on the fact that she had already worried for you despite meeting you for the first time just a few minutes ago. you couldn’t help but feel cared for as a guest.

“mom, i heard the doorbell ring and- oh, you’re here already?”

his voice was already familiar to you, and yet, why did he look nothing like himself?

the haechan you knew always had his hair parted in the middle and styled with a hefty amount of gel, wore his signature black ripped jeans, brought a leather biker jacket wherever he went, and ultimately looked like he was up to no good, however, the boy in front of you sported fluffy brown locks, a plain oversized shirt and basketball shorts, a pair of adidas slides, and had glasses resting on the bridge of his nose.

never in a hundred years would you associate such a domestic image to haechan, yet you were seeing it right in the flesh. admittedly, he looked like a sweet little puppy who would probably follow his owner to the ends of the earth, and despite every bone of your body wanting to say otherwise, you’d be lying if you didn’t feel an attraction for the boy in front of you at that very moment.

“this is the first time our donghyuckie has asked for a girl to come over.” his mother chirps in gleefully, stealing your attention away from your rampaging thoughts.

“mooom, don’t embarrass me.” you hear haechan whine for the first time in your life, his lips pouting at his mother. though it sounds like he’s complaining, his expression says otherwise as he looks at his mother with so much endearment in his eyes.

“darling, you’re the one embarrassing yourself.”

normally, you would have chuckled at mrs. lee’s comment, but it felt a little awkward being part of a conversation between a mother and her son — not knowing if you should speak or not.

you wonder if haechan miraculously picked up on your hesitance, quickly excusing you and himself from his mother who swears she’ll drop by the boy’s room to give you some freshly cut fruits for the both of you to snack on.

with a small nod of gratitude, you find yourself unconsciously following haechan up the staircase to his room. the walls are filled with all sorts of memorabilia from the lee family, sucking your interest to check each one as you briefly pass by.

there’s a couple of crayon drawings hung up, bright shades of reds and blues filling the neutral tone walls with color. despite the intriguing doodles, you find yourself staring at baby photos — most presumably haechan’s.

you could tell it was him by the way his eyes crinkled into half moons, just like when he was talking to his mother earlier. a small yellow donut floatie wraps around his waist as he poses for the camera, and you couldn’t help but find the sight endearing. here he was, smiling like a cute little idiot as he gets ready to swim- did you just refer to him as cute? it was probably because they were baby photos. babies are always cute in your eyes (even when some turn out to be demons when they grow up).

with your unfocused state, you fail to notice the tips of haechan’s ears flushing as he realizes you’ve been looking at the pictures on the wall. his pictures on the wall.

he clears his throat, just loud enough to grasp your attention. “um, i think we should get started on the assignment, yeah?”

“o- oh. yeah, right.” you quip, tearing your eyes away from the pictures in the blink of an eye while biting on your bottom lip.

haechan’s caught you flustered more times than he could count with his fingers, but he thinks this might’ve just topped the charts. “come on, sunshine. my room is this way.” he nudges his head towards the furthest door to the left of the hallway, and for once, you don’t grimace at the nickname you’ve grown to hate.

-0-

with the close of your math textbook, the pairwork you both needed to work on was finally finished, albeit a lot quicker than you had originally expected. maybe haechan really was some sort of genius when it came to mathematics.

“that seems to be everything, right?” you ask your partner just to make sure, taking one of the apple slices his mother brought for the both of you with sheer delight in your eyes. you were genuinely glad this entire fiasco went better than expected. you worried over nothing back then with chenle.

“yeah, i was actually surprised you kept up.”

“hey!” you nudge him lightly, instinctively forming a frown on your lips. “i’m not that horrible at calculus. you just make it sound like i am.”

“touché, you got me there.” did haechan just admit defeat? just who was the person standing in front of you, and what did they do to the devil you knew from school? with the gears churning in your head, the frown of your lips had turned into a soft pout and haechan couldn’t seem to stop staring, pulling his eyes away from you only moments after.

“chenle was right when he said you had a cute side.” he whispers to himself, using his hand to muffle out his words even further, yet you still heard little incoherent bits of it.

“if you’re going to speak, you should at least let me hear it. the ants in your room are the only ones understanding your murmurs.”

“its nothing. just reminding myself about the due date for this assignment.” god, he hopes you didn’t catch on to a single thing he just did within the span of five minutes.

“alright…” you eye him for a brief moment, turning away to eventually fix your things back into the bag you brought with you earlier, and haechan lets out a breath he didn’t realize he was holding in. thank god you were pretty dense.

“anyways, i think i should call a taxi. it’s getting late and i’m not sure if i’ll make it back before the dorm curfew in time if i stay any longer.” you murmur, more so to yourself, already slinging your bag over your shoulder.

“oh, right.” haechan states, quickly taking a peek outside through his windows. “i’ll walk you out then, sunshine.” his voice was rather downcast from its usual cheery tone, yet a smile still shines on his face.

“okay.”

you couldn’t help but share the same feeling. for some reason, parting with haechan felt bittersweet. you’ve finally seen a side of him that wasn’t such an ass, and yet, you know that once you see him on campus the next day, he’ll return to the person you loathe the most in the world.

and just as you thought, he was practically back to the same person he was prior to your little meetup — dare you say he’s even gotten worse, but for what reason exactly?

you’ve grown less apprehensive of his presence—albeit silently looking for him when the boy’s not around—in hopes you’d get to see that softer side of his once more. you like to think you might have just been infatuated with how drastically different he acted when you came over to do your pair assignment.

he still spewed out a few snarky comments back then, but they were never condescending in the way he’d treat you in class. you regret leaving much earlier because the two of you might’ve had an actual friendship in the works without all of the depressing rivalry nonsense going on.

though, all that hope did nothing to hide the fact that he wasn’t even sparing you a glance in class anymore. you think he’s even going out of his way just to avoid anything related to your being. those days where he would tease the living shit out of you seemed to be long gone, and truthfully, you felt a little saddened on the inside. who knew he had such a big impact in your life to the point you were beginning to miss, not just him, but even the rude comments he threw your way? that was a new level of low, even for you, yet you at least wanted things to turn back to the way it was — with the daily headaches and all. you out of all people would have never guessed everything to play out like this, but it did.

still, you weren’t going to sulk over a lack of familiar attention from the boy. no way. instead, you wished class would end soon so you could meet up with chenle and discard each of the annoying thoughts that weighed your mind.

not wanting to think about your situation with haechan any further, you were unaware that one of your suspicions was finally correct. he was, in fact, avoiding all contact with you.

the entire situation that happened in his house kept plaguing his mind, and the urge to kiss those pouty lips of yours grew each day (even if he didn't ask for it). how could he face you like this? he wouldn’t even be able to come up with any sly rebuttals if you tried to challenge him.

for once, you’ve left him speechless when it was usually the other way around. maybe he shouldn’t have invited you over to do the pairwork after all.

haechan thinks he’s going a little insane.

a few days pass by and without a reason to see you (since the only assignment you were paired together had already been completed), he was starting to feel a bit restless. yeah, he was avoiding you in the beginning, but now he’s quite certain you're returning his actions back to him with how little he’s gotten a glimpse of you over the week.

he knew you never cut classes unless it was absolutely necessary, but he found you to be missing during the only class you shared with him. that wasn’t suspicious at all. sure, he’s tried asking around for your whereabouts, but most just told him to find chenle because he’d know where you were. it was always chenle this, chenle that- if someone mentioned the poor boy’s name in his face once more, he thinks he might just pop a vessel.

“dude, you look constipated.” jaemin tuts at boy, closing the locker beside him. “if you want to take a shit that bad, the restroom is-”

“NO, I DON'T WANT TO TAKE A SHIT JAEMIN.” haechan huffs, earning the eyes of the people passing the hallway as he mumbles a sheepish apology to the crowd.

“geez, you surely got your point across.” this only earns him the sound of crickets, prompting jaemin to awkwardly laugh it off. “seriously though- you look as if you’re going to sharpen a pencil till it doesn’t want to get sharpened anymore then-”

“i get what you’re trying to say.”

“then won’t you spill the reason why you’ve been acting this way?”

“it’s…” haechan ruffles the back of his head, finding it difficult to even explain what he’s bothered by even though he knows exactly what it’s about. “it’s complicated.”

well, it wasn’t really that complicated if he thought about it more. he was most definitely getting ticked off about your relationship with chenle.

frankly, haechan’s seen you with other guys and has thought nothing of it, but his skin itches every time that guy turns out to be chenle. he knew the two of you were close friends and it’s wasn’t like chenle was any bad of a person either — hell, it was a known fact that chenle was bestowed a silver spoon since birth, yet still remained with a genuinely warm-hearted personality. not only that, but his looks often resembled a helpless kitty and assuming that most people — including you — are easily susceptible to cute things, he had practically won the lottery of stealing people’s hearts with ease.

haechan, however, didn’t want chenle to steal yours.

why? he couldn’t really discern that either or maybe he just didn’t want to acknowledge the reason why.

“whatever it is, i hope you resolve it soon or else people are really going to think you want to throw your guts down the toilet.” jaemin utters to himself, feeling a little betrayed that his own friend didn’t want to speak about his troubles.

“oh, shut up.”

-0-

you, on the other hand, had begun burying yourself in any sort of school related activity as much as possible. the last thing you wanted was to think about haechan and how he started avoiding you after that one fateful day. truthfully, you knew you were being a little over the top with the way you decided to act, especially since it was just a single day of seeing him as someone more than a person who tried to piss you off at every possible instance. even so, he just couldn’t get out of your mind no matter how hard you tried to push your thoughts away.

“y/n, you’re going to keep overworking yourself if you continue.” chenle’s voice rings through your ears, momentarily snapping you out of your trance.

“lele, it’s fine. i’m pretty sure i suffered worse back in freshman year.”

an exasperated sigh is the only thing you hear from him for a solid minute. “this has something to do with haechan, doesn’t it?” your best friend suddenly brings up, making you halt your typing on your laptop.

“what, not at all-”

“you’ve been acting different ever since you went over to his house. i’m going to assume you didn’t find him to be such a dick and now you’re contemplating on why you even despised him in the first place.” why did chenle’s intuition always have to be this razor sharp? he hit the bullseye and there was nothing you could do to escape him.

“so what if i did?” you scoff back, leaning back on your chair. “it seems like he’s the one who despises me now for some reason. what difference does it make if i don’t think he’s such a douche anymore? in fact, i think he’s even more of a dick for ignoring me the following days after i came over. i feel like my feelings got played with even if that wasn’t his intention.”

a few minutes of silence washes over the room with chenle breaking down your mini rant, word for word. “the two of you are pretty stupid, huh?”

“hey! what’s that supposed to mean!”

“i said what i said!”

perhaps haechan placed an irreversible spell on you.

your thoughts were fully occupied by him since you were so troubled by how things turned out between you two that you completely forgot about your calculus final test. in fact, you were so busy trying to find a distraction that you forgot it was in a day.

one singular day to prepare for a final exam. that was nowhere near enough time for someone like you. maybe god was reminding you just how dumb of a person you were to let yourself get swept up by insignificant things – at least that’s what you told yourself. at this moment, you had other things to focus on and haechan was at the end of the list.

a day breezed through like minutes ticking on the clock, and before you knew it, you were stepping inside the classroom whilst trying to calm down the jittery feeling that prickles your skin. for a brief moment, your eyes meet haechan’s, and he immediately turns his gaze away.

just as you had guessed, you mused. he wasn't just going to call you by the nickname he gave and wish you luck out of the blue. you were getting caught up in your thoughts again. what good would it do you to let him frazzle you once more? there was no time for you to have boy troubles, you had a test to ace (well, try to ace).

time continued to pass by quickly – perhaps a little too quickly since you barely finished answering all the items on the test – and you were out of the dreadful classroom after what seemed like an hour (though in reality, the exam took three hours total). sure, your face was as pale as a ghost from all the exhausting hours you spent cramming information into that tiny brain of yours, but at least the exam was done.

now all you had to do was wait for those damn test results- and maybe go through a breakdown while you’re at it.

-0-

it doesn’t take a genius to figure out you totally flunked your exam. despite your multiple crying sessions and consolations from your best friend prior to attending class, you were like a thin string on the verge of snapping into two.

you already knew you didn’t do well on the exam, and the anxiety that built up while waiting for your paper to get distributed felt intolerable like a heavy burden on your chest. all you wanted to do was return home and sob your heart out in the same regret that you didn’t prepare for the exam better.

“ y/n, i expected better from you considering your pairwork result with haechan was quite astonishing.” your teacher comments as they hand your test paper back, practically announcing to the entire class that your score was certainly below average. it was something unexpected to others – even if you had already anticipated it – and quiet whispers erupted from your classmates. all of them gossiping about what your score actually was.

the silence was deafening and you desperately wanted nothing more than to leave the classroom. your feet took off before you could even register it, stepping outside the room as you clutched your exam results to your chest.

your sight was beginning to turn misty from the tears forming. god, you never cried in public before, but there was always a first for everything, right?

the click of a door alerts you back into reality, a warm hand cupping your cheek. “y/n…”

it was haechan. why did he follow you out? was a failing grade the only reason he’d talk to you? did he come here to mock you again? you couldn’t even think straight- no. you didn't want to think at all.

you blink a few times to get rid of the tears, letting them fall without a care just to regain your vision. there you find his eyes filled with nothing but concern and worry for your current state. “hey, it’s going to be alright sunshine.” he utters out softly, as if you’d break if he spoke too loud. “you can cry all you want.”

maybe it was the way he spoke to you so softly despite the fact that you two were rivals that caused you to calm your sobs, yet you were still confused. why was he here helping you? isnt he supposed to be degrading you for how bad your exam scores were like all the others inside the classroom? why was he being so… gentle with you?

it was as if he could hear the waves of burning questions you had for him despite your soft sniffling every now and then. haechan could understand where your uncertainty was coming from – after all, he’s never treated you the best by any means aside from that one time you came over. he’s been nothing but a dick, and he knew that.

a moment of silence fills the air, but surprisingly, there isn't an ounce of tension between the two of you. if anything, you’re quite enjoying the quiet comfort he’s providing — not like you’d admit that directly to his face just yet.

he tries to speak up unannounced, making you jolt a little. a chuckle erupts from him and you swear you’ve never heard anything like it. had you ever heard him laugh like this before? you don’t think so.

it makes you feel all warm and cozy inside, a feeling that’s pretty foreign to come from someone you consider a rival. you clear your throat after the thought, wanting to brush it away. you’re not sure if you’re just deprived of joy after going through another meltdown, but you want to hear him do it all over again.

it sends gleeful tingles all over you, a feeling you could get addicted to like candy. truthfully, you aren't sure what overcame you, but you can't tell if you should even be feeling this towards your own… rival? is that what he still is to you? after all this?

perhaps he’s trying to manipulate you- you think to yourself as a means of rationalizing his actions. would he really do something like that? it seemed like your internal conflict was pretty visible on your features since haechan noticed you scrunching your nose while debating with yourself. he always seemed to understand you, even when you never verbalized anything. the same thing happened back then with his mother too.

“before you say anything, no. i don't have any ill intentions by doing this.”

“so what…? you’re just pitying the position im in?” your words come out slowly.

he scoffs at the claim, though it sounds more like he’s in disbelief than anything. “its nothing like that. it would be rude of me to pity someone in the likes of you.”

you render yourself speechless—like you always are when it comes to him—not really having anything to say in rebuttal to his statement, the silence urging him to continue. “i could tell today was harsh on you. i heard what the others were saying and it seemed pretty ballsy of them to me.”

his words had you laugh a little through the tears and the boy instinctively uses his thumb to wipe the specks that threatened to fall down. “i just thought they shouldn’t be the ones to judge you. after all, im pretty sure your grade exceeds theirs. plus, it’s none of their business to delve into your scores.”

for some reason, his words hit you harder than they should. he was right, yet again. the only person you thought who didn't understand you was actually the closest person who shared your struggles. you found yourself so petty for considering him to be such a dislikable person just because he was competition to you.

“i also have something else to apologize for…” he begins, opting to face you properly. “i shouldn’t have gone that far into avoiding you when you obviously wanted to try and fix our strained relationship. i just wanted to sort out my feelings for you- y’know, make sure they were there and all.”

feelings? he had feelings for you, when you perceived him as such a foul being? how could he say that so casually? a few tears slipped past, not because of your grades, but because of the guilt for treating him so harshly, now trying to sputter out apologies through your sniffly hiccups.

the same sound of his chuckle from earlier ringed through your ears, wiping away your tears to find him almost beaming at you.

“why are you looking at me like that-“

“i just didn’t take you for one to cry so cutely. who knew, huh? but really, you’re acting as if i didn’t return any of the mean remarks back. call us even now if you wish.”

a small laugh erupts from your sobs, “i didn’t take you to be someone so cheesy.”

“well, here’s another cheesy line for you.” before you knew it, his lips were smashed on yours. it was almost hypnotizing, the way his plush lips felt on yours. truthfully, you wanted more, already infatuated by a mere kiss. it felt too good to be real.

he pulls away shortly after, noses barely touching each other by how close he still was to your proximity.

“god, if i knew kissing you would finally shut that pretty mouth of yours, i would’ve done it sooner.”

“oh, fuck you hyuck.” you grumble in protest despite the smile that had already overtaken your expression, completely forgetting your low score from the exam.

“gladly.”

“that’s clearly not what i meant, dumbass!”

“... your dumbass?” that signature smirk of his making your mind go blank.

you simply let him win the light-hearted argument this time after not coming up with any witty rebuttal, puffing your cheeks in frustration. haechan was, indeed, your dumbass now (lovingly). he gives you another little kiss on the cheek as a token of his appreciation, and you had already forgotten why you were grumpy in the first place.

“yeah, okay.” you giggle lightly. “my dumbass.”

“then you’d better know now that i’m never letting you go, my sunshine.”

and despite the inkling that the banter between you two will never cease, you feel you're relishing it far more than your past self ever would.

taglist | @haeravlgs, @matchahyuck, @vantxx95, @ahnneyong, @lixxbr0wnie, @legbouk, @rocarecs, @winwonies, @gfrdistance, @nctzennikki09

— lmk through an ask if you’d like to be added!

#—hyuckbeam #—tttc #tttc: i’m never letting go #nct fluff #nct angst #nct dream fluff #nct dream angst #haechan #donghyuck #haechan fluff #haechan angst #donghyuck fluff #donghyuck angst #nct #nct dream #nct aus #nct dream aus #fluff #angst #nct x reader #nct dream x reader #nct drabbles #nct dream drabbles #nct imagines #nct dream imagines

[hyuckbeam]

could we get a sneak peak to hyucks tttc fic?? 👀

helloo <33 i’m so sorry i got to this late but i offer you a small peek into hyuck’s fic :>> i’m about 3/4 (?) done with the entire thing so it might get posted around next next week? we’ll see!!

-0-

even now, you’re fighting the urge not to punch his face as he tries getting your attention by messing up your hair with his fingers. “lee haechan, if you don’t drop it right now, you’re going to lose a limb in the next five seconds.”

“as long as it’s not my di-”

“i shouldn’t have given you the five seconds.”

#—asks #—anon! #tttc: im never letting go #haechan #haechan au

[hyuckbeam]

HAECHAN ♡ IG LIVE (230218)

#HE LOOKED SO GOOD IN THIS LIVE #god the glasses and the eyeshadow #really aimed for a double kill there #aND HIS FAV LEATHER JACKET BEHIND HIM TOO #i swear i melted

[hyuckbeam]

omg when did i hit 100 followers here 😭😭 aaaa i’m so thankful there are people who enjoy the stories that randomly pop up in my head ;0; i might host a small event for it after i finish the series i’m working on atm but i’ll get to it eventually (hopefully…) i know i’ve been a little inactive BUT I SWEAR I’M WORKING ON A FEW THINGS 🥹

once again tho,, thank u so much for the support hehe 💗 i still have a bunch of ideas in mind for more aus so please keep looking forward to those and i hope to meet more people here as well :>

#—milestones #this really made my day when i opened the app #THANK U 🥹

[hyuckbeam]

hello love! i was just wondering if you’re open to taking drabble requests? i just really enjoy your writing style and i have a few ideas in mind 😭😭

hello to you tooo 💗 as of now, i’m not taking reqs because i don’t think i’ll be able to get to them quick enough 🥹🥹 though,, i might host a small request event soon :00 hopefully i’ll have more time by then!

other than that, i’m really thankful you enjoy my writings omg 😭😭😭 that makes my heart so full like wtf!!! i love u anon, hope u have a great day :>

#—asks #—anon!