just-a-luna

[just-a-luna]

Mateo 04.09.2022

So ehm how should I start. I really like this boy. I really do !! He's so sweet, nice, pretty, smart and respectful. I think he cares about me. For example, when I'm Sick, and we write our unique goodnight text, he says something like that:,, Sleep well and take care. You need it because you are kind of very sick ! ''. OH, AND OUR GOODNIGHT PHRASE is so cute, we say every night to each other:,, Goodnight, sleep well, dream something nice and take care, see you tomorrow !! 🤍'' ( Mateo's sayings are in German of course haha ) . Isn't that cute, I'm going to cry. I deep cleaned my room today after some pretty rough days, so I'm very happy. So Mateo isn't just nice and kind of romantic with me when we're alone, he also is when we're with our friend group ! :D. He also calls me Luni sometimes, what is very cute I think. We watched a movie today, but didn't finish it because of his internet barrier. Kind of sad, but I really enjoyed talking to him and spend time with him. Like goddammit, he's perfect. I'm looking forward to talk to him on the phone very badly ! I really appreciate his appearance and his calm and deep voice. Furthermore, I think I kind of fell for him. Unfortunately, I can't write much because I have a long school day tomorrow, but it's something !!

Take care and goodnight everybody !! ♡

~ Luna

#mateo #cuteness #new friends #romantic #falling in love #kinda #idk #ahhhhhh #goodnight #deep cleaning #cleaning #mwah <3

[just-a-luna]

Long time no see! 01.08.2022 ( TW )

So, uhm, it's been a while since I wrote something like that. Mainly it's because I was too lazy and nothing really changed, I still fell like shit. In Germany the summer holidays arw soon over, and I get anxiety when I just think about going to school in a few days. When I was young I loved school it was kind of a safe space to me, but I need to mention I was a great A-Student back then, but the pass year my grades were going down to C's, I even got my very first F I really hurt myself bad because of it. Maybe you guys are asking yourself how got it that bad? So let my start... my best friend Nick had a very nice friendship with a girl called Nancy, so I should say that I like girls and I really got close with Nancy and then at some point I fell in love with her. I had a few boyfriends before, but I was never in love like this before, before Nancy and everything the problem was Nancy was a mentally ill, bad family, bad at school, manipulating kind of girl. For me it didn't matter because I loved her sooo much! You need to know that I am the therapist-friend, and so I was to Nancy just somebody she could vent to I was awake in the night with her in a call just so she could tell my how bad and toxic her life is. I knew how bad it was to still stay with her, I really wanted to let her go several times, but she didn't let me go. She always told my how it is my fault when she would kill herself, that I am a bad friend and I hurt her. So I stayed even when she 'cheated' on me with her ex-boyfriend several times and a girl one time (not sexual) or kissed me, cuddled with me in my bed or told me she loved me just to get me to stay tho, I was stupid as fuck I know. But I really loved her. In this past year I got bad in school, I began to harm myself I hated myself for who I am, and I started to binge-eat. So you can see My Mental state got terrible because of her. I think I hurt her at some point, kind of too, but I didn't ruin her. The funny thing about it is that we sat next to each other in class, even after all the things she did I ignored her, but she pretended like she didn't do anything like really she was sad when I didn't laugh with her in class anymore. She wanted me to think that all I did was my fault, I believed it for some time, but not anymore. School is starting next week and I will try my best to get good grades! To be clear, I never hated a person in my entire life, not even Nancy, tho. I found my peace over the time. I am starting to get a bit better! So I told you about the bad news, now the good ones! I've found a new friend his name is Matheo! I like him he is such a nice guy he treats my so well and is so respectfully so in a nutshell a really lovely boy! The funny thing is he nearly had the same bad time with a girl, like me with Nancy. I like him. :D He always says to me things like "good night, sleep well :)" or "you are good enough!" he's sweet, isn't he? I deep cleaned my room and right now I feel great or at least good! So that's it for today, it's getting late! Good night everybody, sleep well, take care of yourselves, love you bye! <3

~Luna ♡

#toxic love #ex girlfriend #lovers #love #tw #tw selfhate #new friends #best friend #summer #holiday #self care #take care x #love you <3 #school #grades #mwah <3

[just-a-luna]

20.06.2022 Nothing but don’t really ? ( TW )

So uhm… Yesterday I’ve cleaned my room, I think you need to know that I am a chaotic but clean person. My room was so freaking dirty and chaotic that I couldn’t even walk normal in my own room because the past days were pretty hard for myself. I couldn’t do anything, but the problem is that things like this are very rare for me. I was so sad about it, so I cleaned my room yesterday, I even showered finally. The weird thing is I don’t feel better...like I normally do, you know ? Normally I just clean everything, put things in the places they belong to, go take a shower and wash my face and then *puff* I feel better, but I don’t. Maybe I feel worse ? Everything makes me angry at the moment. For example, if my Mother tells me that I should do something, I really get kind of annoyed. I hate myself for it because that’s not like me. And then there is the problem with my best friend Nick. Like don’t understand me wrong, I like him, but he treats me like shit. Just me tho. When anything is wrong he hurts me, not bad, but he still does like slapping me or punching me or assaulting me without a matter. I know, maybe this sounds very bad, but I got used to it. It annoys me. I think I am wrong to feel like this. I get that this is not my fault, but what if it is? He’s not a bad person, he is just to me this way. Only me. School was alright today, I just had three lessons! Usually we would've had five. It’s pretty warm right now. I hate it, I hate the summer, I hate the heat. I’m too fat to feel good in summer clothes. So the summer is just a torture. I feel sort of dead. Yeah, I think that’s it for the day.

Bye, I guess ?

#first blog #tw #cleaning #school #best friend #sommer

[just-a-luna]

The beginning. 19.06.2021

Yeah, I don't really know how to start a blog, but here I am, I guess. First, a few things about me. My name is Luna I like to sleep and I like to draw, I am not feeling so well at this moment. Maybe I should mention that I am from Germany. I think this is going to be like a diary for me. I don't even know. Maybe this is going to help me ?

#idk