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juyeoniemyhoney · 1 year

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edge of desire

Perhaps it is time to tell your best friend that you're in love with him. It might not go well, but there is an edge to desire, and you might just be standing right in front of it.

pairing: jeon wonwoo x reader

genre: ANGST, maybe fluff?, pining, silly little thing i wrote because music gets me in my feels

warnings: none

word count: 2239 words

honey's notes: I write too much Wonwoo fluff...... it's time for pain!!!!!!!!! also i havent written anything that i've liked this much in a while... finally feeling talented again hehe

“Who was your first love?”

You suck in a sharp breath through your teeth, not completely expecting Wonwoo to spring such a loaded question on you.

You contemplate for a while, really dig deep to answer his question as best as you can, but it all is for naught as you decide to lie instead.

“I don’t think I’ve ever loved anyone before, Wonwoo,” you finally say after a long pause. With his head heavy against your lap, Wonwoo seems displeased with your answer. You quickly try to appease him with more explanation.

“I think I’ve liked many people before—,” you pause, gulp down the words that attempt to crawl its way out of your throat, light on its paws like a leopard ready to pounce. “—but to me, love is more of a choice than something that just happens, you know?”

Wonwoo remains silent, his lack of words so telling of his desire for you to continue speaking. A breeze sweeps past the two of you and you feel the metal park bench sear your skin as the setting sun beats against your back. The warm breeze tousles Wonwoo’s hair, wisps of black falling over his closed eyes and ghosting his long eyelashes. You almost burrow your fingers deep into the soft strands, the sight of it too enticing for you to resist but somehow, you manage to pull yourself from your daze and clench your fist around your shirt instead.

Perhaps if you weren’t lying to him you would feel more comfortable to run your fingers through his hair like you usually do.

“Okay," he says pointedly, though you know he doesn't mean to be sharp. "Then have you chosen to love anyone before?” Wonwoo corrects himself and presses as gently as he can. Suspicions rise within you as to why he is suddenly so curious about who you have loved before. You almost allow your poor heart to hope again, to believe that maybe this curiosity stems from love itself, a love that Wonwoo holds for you.

“You. I will always choose to love you,” is what you burn to say. The words scratch at your throat, nails digging into flesh and drawing blood in its attempt to escape from the tip of your tongue. Your lips, however, are relentless and stubborn.

“I’ve never really thought about it, Wonwoo,” is the lame answer you decide on. Eyes dropping from the sky to his closed eyelids. In your fragmented mind, you imagine Wonwoo’s eyes, all the colours coming together slowly and easily as you paint them in your head, almost lifting your hands to follow the brush strokes against a canvas that you have perfected again and again when Wonwoo’s eyes plagued your mind in the middle of the night and all you could do was paint them over and over and over again.

“Think about it now,” Wonwoo supplies, opening his eyes to look straight into yours. He springs up from your lap, eager and curious in the way he always is around you and you swear, you almost let the words slip past the cage of your mouth.

The thing about Wonwoo and you is that if you were to ever tell him that you’ve been in love with him since forever, he wouldn’t take it well. The two of you have grown up together after all and the man has established what he likes in a partner over and over again (which, you regret to admit, is the complete opposite of you).

The other thing is that Wonwoo knows everyone who has come and gone from your life. He knows your every feeling, sometimes even before you know you’re feeling that way. So, lying really is out of the options. Not that you had options to begin with.

“Why don’t you tell me about your first love first, Wonwoo? Maybe then, I’ll be more encouraged.”

Wonwoo sends you a lame look, eyes narrowed in a faux glare for turning his question on him. You laugh and reach to ruffle his hair but catch yourself halfway and settle on patting his shoulder instead.

“Okay, fine.” He sits up and faces the lake before you, shoulder brushing up against yours as he leans back against the bench. If you tilt your head a little bit to the right, your head will be on his shoulder and you curse him for sitting so close to you when there is still so much space on the bench. You keep your eyes on the glittering lake and try to ignore the way his arm feels pressed up against your own.

“I know this is crazy to say but I think my first love was Jieun,” Wonwoo answers with a sheepish smile, eyes dropping from the lake to his twiddling fingers, then back up to look at you when you don’t say anything.

You meet his eyes and feel yourself break a little inside when the setting sun meets his irises and sets them ablaze, the usual dark brown lighting up to a mesmerising shade of amber that you memorise and pray you remember to paint later.

“Why do you say so, Woo?” you ask despite yourself. You cringe at your use of his nickname, something you had decided to haphazardly add in an attempt to seem unfazed by his confession. You wish it had been you. You always wish it was you.

“I don’t know,” he deflects. But he does know and it is so evident in the eager way he parts his lips to speak about her, in the way he readjusts himself in his seat, a habit of his you have ingrained in your brain along with everything else that has to do with him.

“I mean— she was my first girlfriend. So, I guess she was the first person I chose to love,” he continues. “I chose to put myself out there, despite the fact that I had, like a hundred percent chance of being rejected. But I think choosing to bare your soul to that person is the first step in loving, if that even makes sense.”

Wonwoo’s words silence you. You contemplate all of the times you had worked up the courage to tell him, only to chicken out and keep your feelings to yourself. You were always so afraid of losing him you guess you didn’t realise you were invalidating your love for him, and in turn, his love for you.

Because Wonwoo would understand, he of all people wouldn’t shut you out and shun you away just because he doesn’t reciprocate your feelings. In fact, Wonwoo would feel bad for not feeling the same way as you. Because he’s Wonwoo, so fiercely kind and compassionate, so understanding and warm and loving, the one and only person who was able to shake up your rock-hard heart and melt it down into easy and pliable, the one person who was able to make you fall in love.

“Okay, now it’s your turn—“

“You,” you say without hesitation, fuelled by his words and your realisation. Wonwoo turns to you in confusion first before he finally gets it, mouth previously ajar to express his confusion zipping shut as soon as he realises.

You don’t look at him, eyes trained on the lake and the small ripples in water the fish make when their little fins break the surface tension. But you feel his eyes bore into you, gaze soft and already apologetic and you exhale harshly at the thought of Wonwoo feeling sorry for not realising how you’ve been feeling for the past six years.

“But I don’t think you’re my first love. To be honest, I don’t think I’ve loved anyone other than you, Wonwoo," you say, baring your heart and soul to the one man you have ever loved, to the one man you will continue to love forever.

"I don't even know when it started," you continue when Wonwoo remains unnervingly silent. "Maybe it was when we ran in the rain hand in hand when we were twelve. Or maybe, it was when you started dating Jieun and I cried for two weeks. All I know is, one way or another, I began choosing you over everything."

The words leave your lips like a bird that has been caged for aeons. And perhaps, it is a horrible thing; to be left empty and to never be filled again, the cage door broken by the tenacity of the bird, by its thirst for freedom and its razor sharp claws. But at the same time, isn't it such a good thing? To not have to clench your teeth so tightly anymore, to be able to walk around without the substantial weight of your feelings weighing you down like a thousand kilograms against your chest.

"And I know I'm totally not your type. Believe me, I'm well-versed in exactly what you look for in a partner. I've spent hours, years, forever, trying to be exactly what you want, trying to be someone I'm not. And I know you're going to reject me and our friendship isn't ever going to be the same ever again and it'll be so weird now. But I just—"

You catch yourself midsentence, not quite sure what to say as every single feeling you've ever felt bubbles up inside your stomach and fills your lung cavity, the feelings so suffocating, you almost think that if you dived into that lake you might be able to breathe better than you are breathing right now.

"Just?" Wonwoo prompts quietly, the first thing he's said since you started pouring your heart out to him. His voice is meek, almost afraid that anything he says will set you off, his eyes wide in observation, gaze guarded, expression like nothing you have seen on Wonwoo before.

"I just thought I owed you this much, that I'd explode if I didn't tell you," you finally manage to get out, though your voice gets caught in your throat in a way that has you running laps in your head, that has your palms sweating and your eyes watering.

You quickly blink away your tears and look up to anticipate Wonwoo's answer. You aren't surprised to find that he's already looking at you and for the first time in forever, you can't tell what Wonwoo is thinking or feeling.

Wonwoo doesn't really say anything, not verbally at least. But he continues to look at you, eyes studying you so intently you feel your neck warm and your cheeks burn. His silence unnerves you. Wonwoo has always been a man of few words so you have gotten used to his silences, but that was when you were well-versed in reading him, when you knew what every small quirk of his brow meant, what he was feeling with every lilt of the corner of his lips.

Perhaps that is why you are caught off guard when he finally speaks, jumping so far out of your skin it makes Wonwoo jump too.

"I love you, Y/N," is how Wonwoo begins his sentence. And you'd never thought you'd hear those two words in the same sentence come from his mouth; your name and love uttered so vulnerably your pulse stutters.

"But just," he pauses, the calm before the storm, the screaming in your head is so loud, it deafens. "not in that way, you know? I'm sorry."

Your heart breaks all over again at his apology. You stand up to leave, the hand that finds your wrist begs you to stay. You don't want him to see you like this. But you don't have anyone else to go to. The person you find the most comfort in is breaking your heart because you let him.

Wonwoo tugs on your arm and you comply silently, feeling a lump as big as your heart form in your throat. You force your tears down, force the tsunami of feelings down, down, down so deep inside you, you pray you forget about it and it disappears forever.

Wonwoo tugs your arm one more time, and you, so overwhelmed with your feelings as always, allow him to tuck your head under his chin, allow him to guide your arms around his waist, allow him to engulf you in his arms, allow him to comfort you just one more time before you lose the one relationship you cherished.

"I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry," he whispers against the crown of your head, his own voice breaking. He doesn't want to hurt you. He wishes he could say yes, wishes he could overwhelm you with joy by just saying those three words and meaning it in exactly the way you want. Maybe he can. Wonwoo doesn't know. He just knows he never ever wants to be the cause of your tears again.

Wonwoo's endless apologies push you off the edge of desire and when he envelopes you in his arms, it feels like you are thrown into the ocean, your back breaking the surface tension of the water. A thousand things flood your mind, your insecurities like a tsunami against your chest, the thoughts so suffocating you almost think your lungs are filling with water. His warm skin meets your own like the rolling waves, his breath against your neck, a hot breeze. Like this, you finally know what it means to love the sea as a drowned person.

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juyeoniemyhoney · 1 year

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oh that jacob fic was beautiful it really warmed my heart

thank you anon!!!😘😘😘

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juyeoniemyhoney · 1 year

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tattooed heart

Who knew finding your soulmate could be as easy as going over to your friend's flat? Oh, and of course, the tattoo that everyone else gets on their eighteenth birthday.

pairing: jacob bae x reader

genre: FLUFF (do i even write anything else other than this anymore LOL), acquaintances to lovers, college au, soulmate au where soulmates get the same tattoo on the same part of their bodies, moonbae bestie crumbs cos i love them

warnings: lowkey Y/N jumps Jacob... idk what it is with me and borderline sexual assault.... that's all i think

word count: 3162 words

honey's notes: hello everyone... i am not dead.. surprise!! i actually was only going to publish this for jacob's birthday next year but i'm impatient and can't wait so here it is!! promise that i'll only work on rent a boyfie after this. always thankful for you guy's support for my works😘😘 love yall😍

You didn't think you could miss someone as much as you did in this moment. Perhaps it is because you can feel the etching of the tattoo onto the skin of your right clavicle, or perhaps it is just a placebo effect, but right now, you miss your soulmate. Someone you have yet to meet, someone you have yet to fall in love with, someone who doesn't know you exist; whom you too, have yet to learn of their existence.

On your eighteenth birthday, you spend the first few hours of your special day writhing in pain as inked lines drag across your skin, an invisible tattoo gun imprinting the tattoo into your smooth skin forever. Perhaps it wouldn't have hurt this much if the tattoo were anywhere else on your body. But the process is drawn out and miserable as the lines form on your skin, the tattooing so painful you almost think the collarbone beneath your skin is being branded too. Maybe that is why you feel the ache in your bones, the longing for your soulmate so great you feel it hum beneath your skin, with each line embedded, the wistful feeling growing stronger.

You didn't think you could miss someone as much as you did in this moment, especially when their existence causes you three hours of agony in the early hours of your birthday.

By the time the tattooing is complete, you rip yourself from your bed and stand in front of your mirror. Your shirt is drenched in sweat and though it doesn't feel like a knife is dragging through your skin anymore, the sharp pain of the needle is replaced with a sore ache that you are sure will not subside until after a few days.

Gazing into the mirror, the skin surrounding the tattoo is bright red and inflamed. But then, you realise the tattoo, a sequence, a blossoming; fruition. The lines are dainty and thin as they outline a pear, first whole, then cut in half with its seeds showing, then— you assume— the pear's flower. It's beautiful, in a way you would not have appreciated if this tattoo didn't have any subliminal connection to your future significant other.

But you can't help but think that these tattoos are supposed to give you a clue on what your soulmate is like and how to find them. The sequence of pears baffles you. Are you going to buy pears and meet them somehow? Or are you going to go pear picking and meet them amongst the shrubbery? Or does your soulmate just really like pears?

You spend the rest of the night pondering, and your entire commute to school a few hours later is spent learning everything you can about pears and its flowers, though there really isn't much to learn about pears and pear blossoms.

By the time you reach school and are settled into your first class, your frustration overwhelms you. Just what is it with your soulmate and pears? Why do they like pears so much or why are they associated with pears? Of all the things in the world it had to be pears and not, maybe, a volleyball? Then at least you'd know that they play volleyball or like it very much. Volleyball would be so much easier to bring up in a conversation. But pears? Were you going have to ask every new person you met if they liked pears?

You spend a whole week distracted, upset and frustrated. You almost wonder if you should go pear picking just in case that's what the universe wanted you to do. You also spend the entire week looking at peoples collarbones like a maniac, leaving your own collarbones exposed with lower cut shirts and blouses just in case your soulmate spotted you first. And when the week ends, you are wholly and utterly exhausted, giving up with a huff about it to Kevin.

"Already?" Kevin drawls, knowing full well how you need always need little reason to give up. You sulk on his couch, splayed unceremoniously across the small thing, your face shoved into the cushions as you pray for the couch to just swallow you whole.

"You know," Kevin starts. And you think he is finally going to give you advice rather than criticising you on how you have to 'let love find you' and all that bullshit but Kevin, as long as he's been your friend, is always unpredictable. "A lot of butts have been on that couch. You're kissing like maybe twenty butts right now."

You groan, the butt couch cushion muffling your sound of displeasure as Kevin breaks into a fit of giggles as you attempt to push him off the couch with your foot digging into his side. When he refuses to budge, you emerge from the cushion, sitting upright to begin pushing Kevin with all your might, only adding insult to injury as his laughs get louder and louder when you fail to drive him off his own couch.

Just as Kevin is half a butt away from falling butt-first onto the carpet, the door to his apartment swings open and Kevin's roommate walks in. You and Kevin freeze, as the two of your laughs halt almost immediately, your attention directing to Jacob at the door.

The sight from Jacob's point of view is comical. Kevin is basically hovering in air with how little of his ass is still on the couch and you are pushed up against his back, your arm flush against him between his shoulder blades as you push against him like he is an immovable wall.

"Hey, Cob," Kevin greets him, lifting a hand from where it was gripping onto the couch for dear life, refusing to lose to you and your childishly petty antics. Kevin thinks that one hand is enough to hold up against you, but he forgets that five years of volleyball never leave your body (even though the muscles do after years of not playing it) and while he is distracted, you play dirty and finally push him from the couch, the thump of his butt hitting the floor a fanfare for your victory in your ears.

"Hey, so not fair!" Kevin turns to you and complains. You ignore him and smile at Jacob who only smiles silently as he enters the apartment and closes the door behind him.

"Hi Jacob," you say with a wave, directing your smile at him. He smiles and mutters a greeting back that you don't quite catch, far too immersed in your victory to have heard it.

"How's the birthday boy?" Kevin asks Jacob as he removes his shoes and places a bag onto the kitchenette counter. Silently, Jacob removes groceries he'd bought before coming home as Kevin continues to talk to him, placing a box of cereal in a cabinet, restocking the fridge with bottles of barley tea and chugging the near-empty jug of milk in favour of putting a fresh one in its place.

"You still haven't shown me your tattoo," Kevin says in a sing-song voice, standing from his position on the floor to flutter and hover over Jacob's shoulder as he makes himself a sandwich, ignoring Kevin and treating him like he would a housefly.

You stay quiet on the couch, focusing your attention on the forgotten television as you try your best not to listen in on their conversation. It's usually like this. Jacob hasn't made many efforts to talk to you in the six months he's lived as Kevin's housemate. You don't really mind, though. Jacob is nice and offered you cereal on many occasions when you were over at Kevin's. The two of you are just amicable, quiet people and neither of you have had a problem with that for six months. And it's not like you don't ever talk if Jacob's around, you do join the conversation sometimes but this one, this horrible, annoying, frustrating topic that Kevin has chosen for the conversation, is one you'd rather sit out, lest Jacob find out your wrath.

"Because I don't want to show you, Kev. I know you'll make fun of me," Jacob retorts, the clang of the butter knife against the counter like a judge's court gaval, signifying the end of the discussion. Jacob looks up to Kevin with his pear jam bread and takes a bite out of it, chewing loudly in Kevin's face as if to mock him for yet again failing to sneak a peek at his soulmate tattoo.

Kevin grimaces as he feels goosebumps arise on his skin, the sight so revolting he almost vomits right onto Jacob. "I don't understand why you can't be normal and just eat strawberry jam like everyone else. Pear jam? C'mon, Cob," he complains with a shudder of disgust.

"Hey, everyone has their own pref—" Jacob argues back, but halts halfway when he notices you march into the kitchen from the living room, a crazed look about you as you lean over the counter and hover your face so close to Jacob's he almost spits.

"Jacob."

"Y/N?" he greets back, though it sounds more like a question; sounds more like: Yes? Whatever do you need? I will give you anything you ask.

"You like pears?"

"Yes, I do.... Why?" The shirt that Kevin lent you when you first stepped into his apartment from your presentation falls off your right shoulder as you continue to press into Jacob, leaning further and further over the counter until you are almost completely on it. Jacob adverts his eyes from where your skin shows and is forced to look you dead in the eye, your face so close to his, his eyes almost cross and your noses almost bump.

You say nothing else and simply examine his face in silence. Kevin watches on and wonders how you have enough strength to be holding yourself up in such an awkward position but does nothing to voice his concerns, figuring that desperation does things to the best of people, you included.

The silent eye contact continues as you push the items on the counter to the side, careful enough to not let anything fall onto the ground as you climb onto the kitchen counter, holding Jacob's gaze with your own, wide-eyed and frenzied like a wild animal.

Kevin, right beside the both of you, uses all the cells in his body to hold himself back from laughing. He wishes that he could record this moment but his phone is charging next to the couch and he refuses to miss a moment of the most awkward flirting he's ever seen. Kevin is a good storyteller and it will just have to suffice.

Eventually, you narrow your eyes at Jacob, gaze darting from his eyes down to the collar of his shirt and Jacob lets out a breath he didn't know he was holding, thinking this extremely bizarre encounter has finally come to an end. He soon finds out he is wrong, however, when you lurch forward and grab him by his collar, almost looking like you're about to sock him right in his face.

Shutting his eyes as if waiting for impact, Jacob panics. "W-Wait! Y/N! Whatever is bothering you can be solved with words! Violence is never the answer!" he blurts out in lightning speed, the words spilling from his lips in a panic he's never felt before. You are usually a quiet, demure person. Just what has gotten into you?

When Jacob doesn't feel your knuckles digging into his cheekbone, he peels his eyes open, relieved. Only to have complete and utter horror wash over him as he opens his eyes to see you glaring down his shirt.

Jacob, horrified and utterly embarrassed, flushes all the way down to the base of his neck, finally coming to his senses as he snatches himself from your loosened grip, and hugs his shirt close to his body, violated and shocked beyond words. Because Jacob didn't want you to see him like this! He's on break from the volleyball team! He isn't in top condition! He'd wanted you to look at him when he was at the best of his game, not when he's had one too many bowls of cereal!

"Y/N!" Jacob manages to cry in horror, but doesn't say anything else.

Kevin, having witnessed the whole thing, finally cannot bear to control himself any longer, bursting into a fit of maniacal laughs as he falls to his knees, so unadulteratedly stricken by humour his legs can no longer bear to hold himself up.

"You guys are insane!" Kevin exclaims between laughs, the words coming out breathless as Kevin tries not to laugh as hard as he is laughing, only to laugh even harder when he realises his attempts at decorum fail miserably.

"Find what you're looking for, Y/N?" Kevin asks with a mischievous lilt in the tone of his voice, finally finding enough composure to not wheeze his every word. But once the sentence is finished, he bursts back out into laughter, holding his stomach as he continues to laugh at you and Jacob.

"Yeah, whatever, Kev," you say with an eye roll and a scowl, turning your gaze back to a beet red, shock-ridden Jacob, who stands with the collar of his shirt over his mouth, an attempt at hiding the hot blush that ravages his neck and the apples of his cheeks.

You hop off the counter, this time on the same side as Jacob, avoiding his bread that he'd dropped on the floor in shock by a hair as you approach Jacob who backs up until his back hits the cabinets behind him, wavering gaze flickering between you and the still-laughing Kevin in anxiety.

Gently, you place your hand on his, gesturing him to lower down his shirt. It takes a long, reassuring gaze for Jacob to let down his guard again but eventually, his hands lower, bringing the collar of his shirt along with him. Then, ever so gently, you tug his shirt aside so that his clavicle is no longer hidden, and lo and behold, there it is. The same blooming sequence of a pear, dainty and small scrawled across Jacob's skin in thin, inked lines, the skin surrounding the tattoo red and inflamed as you trace over the outline of the tattoo.

This close, Jacob can feel your breath tickle the skin of his neck and Jacob, surprised, horrified, shocked, a mix of every possible emotion in this moment cannot compute anymore emotions, especially one of this intensity. He feels his heart swell, the dull vessel thudding like the hooves of a racing horse against the ground, the muscle galloping in his ribcage so violently he wonders if it is going to give way and fly right out of his chest.

He swore, to himself (and Kevin that one night Kevin couldn't stop asking him questions about you) that he only thought you were pretty. But now that you are basically leaning your entire body on him, lithe, gentle fingers tracing his tattoo with the pad of your finger, Jacob swears he's in love with you.

By the time your finger traces over the flower, your other hand comes up to your own tattoo, fresh but not quite as raw as Jacob's, tracing over both tattooed flowers simultaneously, entranced, in awe, so utterly at a loss for words your brain barely thinks about anything but the pear and the pear's seeds and the flower that arises from the seed.

"To think you were so close this whole time," you finally whisper and Jacob feels it against his neck. Your scent is beginning to waft into his nose, your sweet vanilla shampoo and citrus body wash so intoxicating Jacob swears he hears his cells run around his brain in a frenzy.

"Ok, stop this now, it's not funny anymore," Kevin finally says from behind you, recovered from his fit of laughter as he rises from the floor.

"I think I peed myself a little," he comments offhandedly, like it isn't embarrassing at all to have peed yourself at nineteen from uncontrollable laughter.

Free from your frenzied state, you peel yourself from Jacob as he continues to process things, eyes fixated on the ink that rests gently atop your clavicle. So, you are soulmates. And you found out because Kevin expressed his disgust for pear jam.

Jacob and you are soulmates. Soulmates. Bound together by the universe since before the two of you were born, a connection so indisputable that the planets and stars cannot separate the two of you. Jacob is soulmates with you. Jacob Bae is soulmates with Y/N. You are Y/N..... he is your soulmate. Jacob's mind doesn't seem to work anymore, too tired from the unexpected plot twist or too giddy with joy that you are his soulmate; that he is yours.

"Okay," you declare with a clap, Jacob awakes from his stupor and swears you can see smoke arising from his head, so utterly spent mentally that he just wants to nap on the couch like he was planning to in the first place. He hopes you will join him.

"Let's restart this. Hi, I'm Y/N. I'm Kevin's best friend and I study botany."

Jacob finally lets an amused smile tilt the corners of his lips upwards as he takes your outstretched hand in his and shakes it, ignoring the way his heart stutters at the feel of your hand in his.

"Nice to meet you, Y/N. I'm Jacob and I study music," Jacob greets back and lets go of your hand only when he feels you retract, your smiling expression morphing into one of shock. At first, Jacob thinks you're acting, smiling along with an amused grin he feels is going to split his face open soon if he doesn't stop, but he can't help but smile when you look so adorable like this.

"Your surname is Bae?"

Jacob's grin falters a little but he still continues to smile through the mild confusion. "Yeah, why?"

Jacob doesn't get an answer but the most adorable squeal and a hug. He doesn't understand what he's done to deserve these things but he doesn't complain, wrapping his arms around your shoulders as you hug him, so excited that you're hugging him so tight he almost feels his stomach come up through his oesophagus.

When you pull away, grin as big as his, you see his slightly confused smile and cannot help but laugh, sandwiching Jacob's face in between your hands and gently kneading his soft, pliant cheeks with your hands.

"Jacob! Don't you understand?"

"Not really," he says though the sound is muffled with you playing with his cheeks and all.

Kevin's sigh comes from behind you and he speaks up, though this time his voice sounds soft and content, possibly happy. "Bae means pear in Korean, Cob."

Jacob didn't really get all the happiness around birthdays. Sure, he was happy to receive presents and kind words from his favourite people, but he has always felt normal on his birthday. With your hands on his face and your pretty eyes gazing back into his; with the dull throbbing at his clavicle and the thunderous thudding of his heart, Jacob is beginning to understand just why people love birthdays so much.

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juyeoniemyhoney · 2 years

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i can confirm that mingyu was jumped by y/n after you had your moment with wonwoo….. hair was pulled, bruises were formed, you went a little too far and wonwoo had to pull you off mingyu and calm you down (luckily hes really good at that). meanwhile, mingyu regrets nothing because his two friends are happy and are in love together and he doesnt even care that there are a few strands of his hair still between your clenched fists…….

#honeys drabbles #dreaming of you💭💭#wonwoo #jeon wonwoo #wonwoo fluff #mingyu himbo but good friend #y/n anger issues confirmed #save mingyu #wonwoo the tall patient bf #crying i love jeon wonwoo sm

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juyeoniemyhoney · 2 years

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seventeen fic recommendations

here are some vv good fics that i’ve read this yearrr ♡

(includes : fluff, smut. and angst)

*adding more recs soon

S.COUPS

hello tutorial - @97-liners

remind me - @milfgyuu

very nice - @venerex

untitled - @hoshiitakes

6:29 am - @ksywoo

i hate laundry day - @bluehoodiewoozi

tomorrow tonight - @cheolbooluvr

first date - seungcheolownsmyheart

rooting for you - @svtntntn

habits - @svtntntn

fling - @leejihoonownsmyheart

gameboy - @leejihoonownsmyheart

to teach your heart - @hyucks-rose

what’s mine is yours - @meowonwoos

goodnight my love - @cherriscoups

JEONGHAN

first - @husbandhannie

we get along infamously - @seungkwansphd

game over - @februaryflowers

the love you find - @joonlery

chocolate kisses - @writeformesinpie

17:27 - @wonwoonlight

JOSHUA

untitled - @synthetickitsune (f)

envy - @berriesandjunnie

oceans and engines - @renjunphile

wildest dreams - @viastro

and what if we kiss? - @pepperonidk

vanilla - @milfgyuu

JUN

my burning heart (wont listen to me) - @adi–writes

cuddling - @sweetiesicheng

trendsetter - @hyucks-rose

HOSHI

make me feel - @secndlife

15. things you said with too many miles in between us - @piscispd

bluff and nonsense - @thepixelelf

these endless summer nights - @blossom-hwa

untitled - @husbandcheol

i may have lost it - @wonwoonlight

diagnose him - @by-tea

2:00 am - @ksywoo

just a moment with you - @husbandhoshi

worth it - @fallinnflower

love hard - @wondernus

squish - @wooahaes

WONWOO

knock on your door - @97-liners

lucky! - @97-liners

when i’m with you - @ponkwan

dreaming of you - @juyeoniemyhoney

love in the rain - @viastro

nostalgia diner - @writeformesinpie

present hauntings - @wonwussy

unnamed - @shuatm

WOOZI

yearning (smau masterlist) - @jihoonotes

live - @wondernus

fried rice - @husbandhannie

my heart has gone to you - @rubyreduji

warm me up - @ponkwan

one spring rain - @viastro

if you call me - @starsstuddedsky

MINGYU

captivating - @yeostars

corn-y - @husbandhannie

mission success - @13monthsago

mingyu as a first time dad - @jjkgyu

a helping hand - @idyllic-ghost

1:02 am - @heartkyeom

we don’t usually hold hands - @gyukult

new rules - @leejihoonownsmyheart

it’s all fun and games - @dontflailmenow

hot or cold - @jjuniehao

THE8

motivation or distraction? - @by-tea

SEUNGKWAN

goodnight - @by-tea

11:50 pm - @ksywoo

untitled - @yv17

VERNON

operation: hot girl summer - @shuaflix

ink, linework, and a cup of coffee - @berriesandjunnie

five ways to say i love you - @taeyun

the soulmate service - @dkfile

highest walls, strongest armour - @soonsluv

say you love me (i love you) - @viastro

chopsticks - @husbandhannie

avocado-flavored kiss - @kabira

by hook or by cross - @kabira

DINO

scored - @leejungchans

pansy - @thepixelelf

worth a shot - @milfgyuu

#AAAHHHH #thank you so much for including my fic!!!!#so glad you liked it :>>

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juyeoniemyhoney · 2 years

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seventeen masterlist

-choi seungcheol-

-yoon jeonghan-

-hong jisoo-

-moon junhwi-

-kwon soonyoung-

-jeon wonwoo-

-dreaming of you ; drabble (fluff)

A dream is a wish your heart makes when you're fast asleep. And apparently you subconsciously want to kiss Wonwoo.

-edge of desire (angst)

Perhaps it is time to tell your best friend that you're in love with him. It might not go well, but there is an edge to desire, and you might just be standing right in front of it.

-lee jihoon-

-lee seokmin-

-kim mingyu-

-seo myungho-

-boo seungkwan-

-choi hansol-

-lee chan-

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juyeoniemyhoney · 2 years

Text

dreaming of you

A dream is a wish your heart makes when you're fast asleep. And apparently you subconsciously want to kiss Wonwoo.

pairing: jeon wonwoo x reader

genre: fluff, sort of strangers to lovers but more like acquaintances to lovers, college au, basically no plot.... just Wonwoo brainrot......

warnings: kissing, making out, wonwoo brainrot with ZERO plot, mentions of sexual assault, y/n is handsy af

word count: 3453 words

A/N: okay.... i know it's been like ten million years but a lot has happened in my life and school has just been an absolute ass and i know this isn't rent a boyfie but i dreamt the exact dream that y/n dreamt in this story and was down so bad for wonwoo after the dream so i had to write it all down so here it is!! hope you guys enjoy it and thank you always for your support for what i do<3

Perhaps it is because it is something you've wanted all your life, or maybe it is because you are so painfully without it that your unconscious brain begins to want it, or maybe it is a foreshadowing of what is to happen in your life. But you— of all the people you know— dream of Jeon Wonwoo.

You barely even know him, have barely even said a sentence to him since the first time you met him six months ago. He is quiet and distant and a little spacey. And you are exactly like him. Hence why neither of you have really said anything to each other. The only time you said anything to him was when you dropped your phone in front of him at the freshman's orientation and he muttered the softest 'yikes' before hastily turning his head when he'd realised you heard him.

Which could possibly be a reason as to why you dream of him in the first place. Secretly, you have been wanting to talk to Wonwoo for some time now. You've observed him for a while and have deduced that you and Wonwoo would be good friends. He likes to read, seeing as how he always whips out a book at every moment he can. He seems to like music, an earphone always plugged into one of his ears when you see him walking down the hallway, or when you see him sitting at that secluded bench that he seems to like so much. Most of all, Wonwoo seems like the nicest guy ever. He's quiet and soft-spoken but you've seen him with his friends, who are significantly louder and rowdier than him, and he always seems to be looking at them with unadulterated affection. Plus, he's friends with Mingyu so you already know he's not a bad person.

Which gives you four reasons as to why you would like to get to know Wonwoo.

The only reason why you haven't approached Wonwoo is because that man is godly. Wonwoo is so attractive, every time you muster up some form of courage to approach him, you lose all your wits about you, tongue tying, thoughts leaving your mind like steam leaves boiling water, abandoning mission before you can even take more than five steps in his direction. It's unfathomable how much of an impact Wonwoo's sparkly almond-shaped eyes have on you, how much of an impact his gentle gaze has on you, how much of an impact his mere presence has on you. Pretty people scare you and because Wonwoo has surpassed the worldly level of pretty, you have yet to talk to him.

And the dream only makes it worse because of what the two of you did.

It's not like you even did anything sexual at all. All you did really was hug and kiss Wonwoo. And yet, you had awoken with a start, lips tingling, breaths heavy, like it had been real, flushing such a deep crimson it took more than five minutes for your cheeks and neck to return to normal. The worst part is that it's been weeks since you've had that dream and you haven't been able to stop thinking about it for forever. It's like it's been engraved into your brain with a knife or a needle and your thoughts decide to replay the vivid dream every so often at random moments in the day.

And it's not like you haven't kissed anyone or hugged someone of the opposite gender in your life. You don't even know what it is! It's just a hug and a kiss.... But, you suppose, it is with Wonwoo. And maybe, that is what it is. Because it'd felt real, the warmth of his chest against your cheek, his bottom lip between yours, his nose rubbing against your own, his lithe fingers against the nape of your neck, warm palms burning holes into the skin of your cheek and waist. And then, when you'd pulled away, Wonwoo had given you a sweet smile before leaning back in to kiss you again.

So, yes. You have developed a little bit of a crush on Wonwoo because of a dream you had. Sounds superficial and stupid and utterly unbelievable if you were to tell anyone about it. Which is why you do exactly that— tell not a single soul. You thought it would be easy, but you somehow forget that you cannot keep anything to yourself for the life of you. So, you tell Mingyu.

You met your friend from secondary school on campus yesterday, spilling your guts to him about how you kind of have a thing for Wonwoo because of a damn dream you had where the two of you kissed and hugged. And you swear to the lord jesus christ, you sounded like a damn child who hasn't kissed anyone, and Mingyu was definitely trying his hardest to hold his laughter in while you confided in him by telling him about your hardest struggle at the moment.

Mingyu, ever the shitty friend, simply told you to tell Wonwoo. And you swear you almost disowned him as a friend right there and then. When Wonwoo approaches you after class the next day, your immediate thought is that you should have.

It’s a normal day, or at least, as normal as it has been since you’d had that dream. Your lecture goes on for hours and you try your best to listen as always and fail, as always. Nothing seems amiss, everything seems to be in order. And for a second, you sigh in relief. Now that you had confided in Mingyu, you feel worlds lighter, especially because he laughed in your face which made you realise that you freaking out over this dream was something dumb and stupid.

It feels like you’re finally winning. The past few weeks have been horrible and drab and boring. But today, you feel like your life is finally getting a little bit better. All you have to do is get past this lecture and you have the rest of the day to yourself where you can finally finish that book and drink a hot cup of tea and eat junk food and just relax.

“Y/N!” someone calls after you as you step out of the lecture hall. You sigh and stop in your tracks, mood spoiled tremendously as you grumble under your breath and turn around to face whoever this idiotic classmate of yours is.

It takes you a second to realise that it’s Wonwoo who’s calling out to you, stuck behind multiple students as he tries his best to push past them up the stairs to catch up to you. He grunts as he jumps over the rows of cadet seating in the lecture theatre, ignoring the displeased grumbles and disapproving glances of your classmates as he jumps from row to row, long legs coming in handy before he finally jumps down from the tables and lands right in front of you.

“Wonwoo?” you question, moving out of the way of students and gently holding Wonwoo’s elbow to steer him away from the crowd with you. The two of you get pushed around and shoved by the bustle of students trying to get out of the hall and when the two of you do finally get out of that godforsaken hall, Wonwoo’s hands are on your shoulders, guiding you about the crowd as your feet stumble to try and follow Wonwoo’s directions.

“Let’s go and talk somewhere else,” he says quietly, and it doesn’t even register in your head before you are meekly nodding and walking forward with a gentle push from Wonwoo.

The realisation hits you only as the two of you seem to be shoving your way towards Wonwoo’s bench. It is only then that you realise that Wonwoo’s warm palms are against the curve of your shoulders, the warmth of his chest hot against your back, his breath tickling the shell of your ear as he guides you gently through the crowd. You break out into a furious blush, as instant as someone with a severe peanut allergy breaking out into a rash after eating peanuts, the flush so red and deep it runs up to the tips of your ears and down your neck to your sternum, so rampant and furious it prickles your scalp and makes the tips of your fingers tingle. Wonwoo’s hands feel just like they had felt in your dream, and you remember the way he breathed, imagining the breaths caressing your ear were instead, against the plush of your lips, hot and quick, like even his lungs cannot bear to hold back its excitement.

From there, you begin to shut down, almost like the hot blush is melting your brain and you have the urge to dunk your face in ice cold water to soothe the swell. Nothing even registers anymore, you just follow Wonwoo as he pushes you along the corridors, making turns like he’s driving a car and you are the steering wheel. Even when the two of you get to his favourite bench, you do not even sit down. Wonwoo has to turn you around to face him and gently press down on your shoulders to get you to sit down. You have never wanted to die more.

“Y/N, are you okay?” he asks as he takes his seat next to you on the bench. No, you are not okay. But Wonwoo doesn’t need to know that.

“Yes,” you say robotically. In your head, you are beating yourself up for being the most awkward person to have ever walked the earth. Your love-addled brain urges you to tell him about the dream, your conscious screeches and refuses. You, in between the fight between your conscious and your subconscious, sit dazed and confused, utterly unable to say a word as the two battle it out.

Somehow, in your stupor, you manage to question a few things. The first question you ask is: why on earth does Wonwoo want to talk to you? He hasn’t talked to you before, not really at least. And it’s not like he’s ever really made the effort to talk to you the past six months. Your suspicions begin to rise. Mingyu definitely said something to him.

“Are you sure you’re okay?” Wonwoo asks again, trying to find your gaze. You don’t meet his gaze, afraid of him seeing the heat of your cheeks but Wonwoo, the type of person to be concerned for people he has never met before, persists, the back of his hand coming up to your forehead in an attempt to feel for your temperature.

“Maybe we should get you in a cooler place,” Wonwoo suggests when he feels the heat of your forehead. He thinks it’s a fever, but you know it is just the raging blush that refuses to subside. How does Wonwoo have this effect on you?

“I’m okay, Wonwoo, really,” you insist, hand instinctively coming up to hold his forearm to prevent him from getting up. You swear, the sheer amount of times you have been touching him is unacceptable. Wonwoo should be uncomfortable or should be shrugging you off or should be screaming for help because at this point, this is borderline sexual assault. Also, if Wonwoo touches you one more time, you swear you are going to jump him and reenact that godforsaken dream.

“Are you su—?”

“Did Mingyu tell you something?” you mumble out in a speed akin to a rapper. Wonwoo only can look at you quizzically before the realisation brightens his eyes. You take a quick glance at him while he is staring off in thought but whip your gaze back to your shoes when he turns back to you.

“He told me about a dream,” Wonwoo reveals with a lilt in his voice, sounding almost amused. You chance a glance at Wonwoo, embarrassed but too curious to not know what his facial expression is like. Wonwoo seems to be smiling, bemused or happy or awkward, you don’t know.

You don’t know what it is, you suppose it is the realisation that you can’t run away from Wonwoo anymore, but your mind clears. Or maybe it is the pure white rage that you feel towards Mingyu. Seriously, he is a dead man when you manage to run away from Wonwoo. But you think he knows you better than you thought, sitting as though he is ready to get up and run after you should you bolt. Or maybe Wonwoo wants to run away too, so horrified and put off by the prospect of your dream he wants to get as far away from you as possible.

“Did he tell you everything?” you ask with a wince, far too embarrassed to even glance up at Wonwoo anymore. The dream begins to replay in your mind. Every feeling and touch tingles at the respective appendages, your hands, waist, cheeks, neck, and lips, almost like he is touching you right in this moment. The reducing blush comes back like a storm, red flushing all the way down to the base of your neck.

Oh, but you would be lying if you haven’t been praying to every god ever known for him to just kiss you right here and now. You would give anything for Wonwoo to just cup your cheeks and slant his lips against yours and for the two of you to just kiss and hug and be in love on this bench under the warm sunlight of a petering out summer.

“He didn’t tell me everything at first,” Wonwoo says, before confessing, “I forced him to tell me everything after he let it slip that you dreamt a dream similar to mine.”

You don’t fully grasp it at first, but Wonwoo patiently and gently explains to you about how he came to know of your embarrassing dream of him.

It seems that only an hour after you spilled your guts to Mingyu, he and Wonwoo had met up to get dinner, where Wonwoo started to tell Mingyu about his own dream, which, according to Mingyu, was creepily identical to yours. And Mingyu, who is not only a traitor but also utterly misunderstood, thinks that you and Wonwoo are playing a prank on him.

“He thought we were playing a prank on him?” you let out in disbelief, so exasperated by Mingyu’s thought process you cannot bear to keep it in. Wonwoo lets out a hearty laugh and though your mind should be focussed on planning Mingyu’s demise, your heart inflates a little, his laugh so adorable even your body has to express it.

“Yeah!” Wonwoo exclaims in between his chuckles, “He said, and I quote ‘That’s exactly what Y/N said! What are you two planning?’”

Wonwoo attempts a Mingyu impersonation while relaying to you Mingyu’s words, facial expression animated and voice tweaked to sound and emote exactly like how Mingyu does.

“Woah, wait. That was a really good Mingyu impersonation. I thought you were him for a moment,” you joke in faux-seriousness, expression dropping to a poker face from a laugh to express how good of an impersonation Wonwoo just did. Wonwoo, while laughing, stands up to bow for his crowd of one, smiling and laughing and waving to an imaginary crowd like he’d just finished a performance.

“Thank you very much,” Wonwoo says as he begins to sit down, decidedly done with his act. “But yeah, after he said that I kinda forced him to tell me everything you said,” Wonwoo continues after his and your laughter died down.

“So is it identical like Mingyu said?” you ask, becoming increasingly curious yourself. A million questions begin to run through your head. So, did Wonwoo dream of us kissing too? And if he did, how did he feel? Did he like the idea of it? Was he absolutely appalled by the idea? Does he want to kiss me now? Because I don’t mind if he does.

Wonwoo remains silent for a while and the silence absolutely unnerves you. You glance up at him to gauge his facial expression, if he doesn’t want to talk about it and you’ve pried or if he doesn’t like the idea of it and is trying not to show it because Wonwoo is just the nicest man ever.

That thought makes you do a double take. Jeon Wonwoo is the nicest man to ever exist. How on earth could it be that someone like Jeon Wonwoo is without a girlfriend? Oh god. Wonwoo must have a girlfriend and you’ve made him uncomfortable and he feels like he’s cheated on his girlfriend because of that dream and now he doesn’t even want to be friends with you because it just reminds him of his subconscious infidelity.

What you don’t expect is for Wonwoo to be blushing. You do a double take, just to make sure your eyes are not projecting your ideal Wonwoo reaction and that he is actually blushing and not just red with anger or something else bad.

“Wonwoo?”

“Someone once told me,” Wonwoo starts, ignoring the sweet sound of your voice calling his name. “That if you dream about someone, it means they’re thinking about you.”

“I only realised it was real when I found out you dreamt about me.”

Wonwoo’s words come out half in stutters and half in mumbled, incoherent words that you would normally miss. It is an amazing thing, then, that you are hyper focused on him, utterly and completely taken by the adorable sight of Wonwoo’s red cheeks, with his hand lamely covering his face like if you were to look at him more, it would only deepen his blush.

With his words, you cannot help but grin so wide your face almost splits in half. Wonwoo thinks about you? Since when? And how often? You feel your heart soar, like Wonwoo’s words had flown into your chest cavity through your ears and sprouted wings at each side of your heart.

“Wonwoo, are you trying to say that you think about me?”

Your bashfulness is long forgotten in the presence of Wonwoo’s shyness. He’s too cute and too shy. You have to initiate something or you’ll regret and the two of you will go back to being awkward, not knowing whether to say hi when you chance upon each other in the corridors and the countless awkward moments you have approached him, only to not say a word and running away before Wonwoo can even notice you.

You open your mouth to say something but Wonwoo stands up abruptly, both hands on his face now as his lithe and long fingers cover his pink cheeks completely.

Before Wonwoo can manage to run away, you stop him with a hand on his forearm. Wonwoo is obedient and stops in his tracks but he refuses to turn around, so you circle him and stand in front of him.

“Now, Wonwoo, where are you going?” you ask slyly, hands coming up to pry his own from his blushing face.

“We still have to find out if our dreams were identical,” you continue, guiding Wonwoo’s hands to where they were in your dream, one on your waist and one at the nape of your neck. Your hands interlock behind Wonwoo’s neck and you pull yourself flush against him and you swear you hope you’re doing the right thing and not entirely violating every single boundary ever and you pray that Wonwoo wants this as much as you do because if he doesn’t, you’re surrendering yourself to the local police station for sexual assault.

But you don’t have a doubt in your mind when Wonwoo, cheeks and ears redder than red, leans in and slants his warm mouth against yours, thumb against your cheek, fingers sweeping the hair at the nape of your neck, warm breath caressing your cheek. You swear you malfunction for a while, hands and lips moving solely on instinct. But then Wonwoo trails his fingers up your spine, electricity runs up your back and to your heart and you feel it swell with so much love you swear you can propose to Wonwoo right in this moment.

When Wonwoo pulls away, mind finally found, you lean back in to recapture his lips and he almost gives in but a niggle at the back of his brain stops him short.

“Wait,” he says, stopping you from closing in just shy of his lips.

“So does this mean that you think about me too?”

You smile, press your lips against his and pull away, saying, “Oh Wonwoo, I more than think about you.”

A pause and Wonwoo frowns. Your smile only widens as your fingers play with the hair at the nape of his neck.

“I dream of you.”

#jeon wonwoo #wonwoo #seventeen #svt wonwoo #svt jeon wonwoo #wonu #wonwoo fic #wonwoo seventeen #wonwoo fanfic #jeon wonwoo fanfic #jeon wonwoo fluff #jeon wonwoo x reader #strangers to lovers #wonwoo strangers to lovers #fanfic #svt x reader #wonwoo fluff #dreaming of you💭💭

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juyeoniemyhoney · 2 years

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I feel so attacked right now...

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juyeoniemyhoney · 2 years

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guys i saw jaehyun in the flesh yesterday……. i’m still not ok. i love him and he’s crazy pretty brb gg write another fic for him😅😅😅😅😅😅

#neo city: the link #nct 127 #jeong jaehyun #JAEHYUN🗣🗣😭😭🫶🏻🫶🏻#the love of my life #i am going to marry him

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juyeoniemyhoney · 2 years

Note

If you have time, i wanted to know if you have any recomendations of others Juyeon’s fics or your favorite ones?? Thank you soo much again for your time 💗

- we’ve got chemistry by @mavericsohn

- splash by @sankyeom

- frozen by @timextoxhajima

hey! these are just a few of my favourite ones aka the ones that made me like ugly cry HAHA go give the authors some love!

#the boyz #honeys recs:3 #juyeon #lee juyeon #the boyz juyeon #these are actually all so cute

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juyeoniemyhoney · 2 years

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Hellooo, i’m soo glad that i found your account because i read rent a boyfriend a long time ago and now i saw that you updated and i just read it everything haha, i really really love rent a boyfriend and i wanted to know if the chapter the proposition was the last one?? I feel like i’m going to explode with the lie cuteness, i hope you write one more chapter because i really wanna see them confessing their feelings for each other, they are sooo cute together i can’t handle!!! Please tell me that it’s not finished yet 🥹🙏🏻 And thank you for writing, even when you’re busy 💗💗💗

hello!! thank you so much for liking rent a boyfie as much as you do❤️❤️ the proposition isnt the last chapter! i’m really busy with assignments and school but as soon as i find time i’ll update it<3

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juyeoniemyhoney · 2 years

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magic shop

Taehyun doesn't have any superpowers. But when it comes to you, he'd stop time and so much more.

pairing: kang taehyun x reader

genre: fluff, angst (i guess), hurt/comfort

warnings: y/n is just a tad bit depressed

word count: 1740 words

A/N: ah yes an extremely self-indulgent fic while i blatantly ignore my ongoing series that has been un-updated for more than two months. anyways, please enjoy this fic that i wrote after i lost my mind because of good boy gone bad. stream thurday's child everyone.

--------

It's three in the morning when Taehyun joins you on the couch.

He doesn't seem too happy to be awake, nor does he seem particularly happy about having to get out of bed to coax you back into it. But Taehyun is patient and kind, so he quietly takes his seat beside you and waits.

As the silence stretches on, Taehyun grows more impatient, wondering what is weighing so heavy on your mind that you refuse to tell him. But he remains as patient as he can, knowing full well that forcing you to tell him would only keep you out of your shared bed longer. So, he waits.

He waits as the clock continues to tick, he waits with your head against his shoulder, he waits with you wrapped snugly around his arm. He waits until it is nearly four in the morning and Taehyun's eyes cannot bear to keep awake any longer. Waits until he is falling closer and closer to the edge of unconciousness before you finally speak.

"I wish I could go back," you finally say, much to Taehyun's surprise. Your words jolt him awake and his mind, too tired to work, doesn't even bother to think about why.

"Go back to when?"

You pause and ponder your answer.

"To when I was happy," you finally confess, holding Taehyun's arm closer to your torso. Taehyun takes a deep breath and leans his head on top of yours, sure yet so unsure of how he should respond.

"I don't even know how to explain it," you start again, not leaving Taehyun enough time to process his own reply. "It's not like I'm not happy. I mean I have you—" Taehyun can't help but smile when you mention him as one of your sources of happiness.

"—but I still feel so..." you pause, not quite knowing what word would best describe how you feel in this moment.

"Empty?" Taehyun offers, taking your hand in his and tenderly rubbing his thumb along your knuckles.

"It's like I don't look forward to anything anymore. I just want to stay in this moment. I don't want to have to go to school anymore, I don't want you to have to go to school either. I just want time to stop and for us to live in our house and be with each other and for the future to never come."

Taehyun remains quiet. He wants time to stop too, desperately so. He loves you and the beautiful relationship, home and life he has built with you over the past two years. He loves waking up and seeing you the first thing in the morning, loves coming home together with you from your university campus and making hot tea for two in your shared kitchen. He loves snuggling up next to you while the two of you watch a movie in between your hectic schedules, even though both of you know that the movie will most likely remain unfinished for the next month. If he could, he would take that nasty ticking clock off that wall and take out the batteries, stopping time because he is with you and you are with him and there is nothing else in this world that he needs.

But Taehyun has always been the more optimistic one in your relationship. Because then, he is thinking about your future, one where there is a ring on your finger and people call you by his last name. One where smaller, tinnier versions of the both of you bound around a family home, giggles and laughs and happiness surrounding the two of you in such a thick haze, Taehyun almost thinks it's real.

And suddenly, he's shoving the batteries back into that battered clock and he's willing time on, desperately willing every day to go faster so that he can finally get down on one knee, so that he can see you swollen with his child, so that he can have a future with you where the two of you are so beyond joy that neither of you can barely believe any of it is real.

Taehyun doesn't know how to tell you that. But he tries anyway.

"Y/N?" he finally speaks for the first time since he'd been rudely awakened by the absence of your warmth. His voice comes out gruffer and more hoarse than the both of you anticipate and Taehyun finds himself swallowing his saliva before he continues softly.

"You know, happiness isn't only in the past."

Taehyun, though he is beyond exhausted lifts his head from yours and gently pulls you off his arm, turning his body to face you as he takes your hands in his and gazes so lovingly and patiently into your eyes you wonder what wars you must have stopped to deserve a man like him.

"You can find happiness in the future too," Taehyun finishes and levels you with a sweet smile, eyes unsure if his words have had the desired effect on you.

"I know," you sigh, moving back into your previous position, with your head on Taehyun's shoulder and his fingers intertwined with yours.

Silence surrounds the two of you once again, the both of you too tired and unsure to say anything next. But you like it. Taehyun is warm and every breath he takes in and every breath he breathes out calms you down, reminds you to breathe with him. Somehow, in this moment, it feels as if time as stopped. You wish it has, you wish you could stay like this with Taehyun for eternity. The clock opposite you continues to tick, its hands mocking you with every movement they make.

Maybe you can't stop time, but Taehyun loves you and he is willing to do whatever he can to make you feel better. If that means he has to stay up way beyond his bedtime and pretend, so be it.

Abruptly, Taehyun moves to stand from the couch, gently prying you from his side as he wordlessly walks to the kitchen and puts the kettle on. Then, he disappears into the bedroom.

At first, you think you've done it. You've finally driven Taehyun to the edge of his patience. He's done dealing with your moods and your emotions and your refusal to sleep and he's going to sleep it off and break up with you in the morning. Taehyun, the most patient person you've ever met has run completely out of it and it's all because of you.

Your tears stop before they can spill over your waterline, however, Taehyun reappears with your blanket and a screwdriver. Without any explanantion whatsoever, he turns the loveseat so it is facing the window, drapes the blanket over your shoulders, wraps you all up in the blanket like a burrito then picks you up from the couch and places you gently on the loveseat, then he takes the screwdriver and heads straight for the clock.

As the kettle comes to a boil, Taehyun unscrews the back of the clock, takes out the batteries and leaves it face down on the floor. He draws open the curtains and takes all the throwpillows from their respective places on the couch and surrounds you with them. Then, he proceeds to the kitchen, fiddles around with a few things and comes back with two steaming cups of tea.

"Just for today," he says sternly before handing you your cup, carefully slotting himself between all the pillows and you, so that his arm is draped across your shoulders, your head against his shoulder once more as the two of you watch the sky.

"Just for today we'll pretend time has stopped, okay?" Taehyun says, this time gently, pressing his lips to the crown of your head as you blow the hot tea, the aroma so alluring and calming you almost fall asleep.

"Just for today?" you ask, disappointment seeping into the tone of your voice. Why can't it be everyday? Why can't the two of you just be caught in a time loop? Where the two of you just continue to repeat this lazy sunday, in each others arms, where not one second are you not skin to skin.

Taehyun puts his mug down and turns to you, his free hand coming up to tuck wisps of your hair behind your ear, thumb stroking at your cheek tenderly. His smile is small but Taehyun's eyes twinkle when he's happy and right in this moment, Taehyun's eyes are glittering so prettily you want to lean over and kiss his eyes.

"I want to marry you some day." Taehyun's confession comes out in a whisper, one almost timid in nature. "But I can't do that if we're just stuck in today, can I?"

You remain silent.

"I know it's hard, my love. But baby steps, okay?" he pauses and just continues to stare at you lovingly, thumb continuing to stroke the soft skin of your cheek. "I'll be with you every step of the way."

"I love you," you tell Taehyun, the words coming out rough and choked, your throat constricting as tears brim in your eyes. Taehyun doesn't have to deal with this. He shouldn't have to deal with your negativity and your emotions at the ass-crack of dawn. He shouldn't have to convince you to continue living your life every single time. He shouldn't have to constantly hide you away from the world. But he does anyway, holds you close to him, warm palms the epitome of comfort, softly humming a tune as time takes a backseat.

There is this idea of a mystical haven, the entrance of which is nestled against the muscles of your heart. A door only you can open, wonders inside only available to who you so choose. When you'd first heard the idea, it sounded like a panic room of sorts, a place you'd go to scream and shout and cry and sob. But now, that door looks a lot like your apartment door. And you like to think if you'd opened the door to your heart, it'd look a lot like this: A warm cup of tea, cozy blankets and soft moonlight. But most importantly, Taehyun. In all of your imagined versions of this magical place, Taehyun is always there. And as Taehyun slowly begins to fall asleep, his head against yours, you begin to think that door against your heart is already open, its magic spilling out and coating your life in illuminant gold, bit by bit.

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