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kwiwrites · 1 month

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On the Hills (1/?)

Hello everyone! Thank you for 10k hits on the hills. In celebration, I've put together a little essay of sorts on the makings, as well as my thought process behind this fic. I still have a lot more to say about it, so if you guys enjoy this please let me know, and I would love to publish a second part.

this account is still not in use, and basically inactive. I just didn't wanna put anything marauders on my other accounts haha.

Note: This entire doc is about my interpretation of Regulus and how I wrote him in the “The Hills.” Your view of him may not match in the same way, and that’s alright!

Initial Idea

I honestly don’t have a timeline or even reason for writing this fic. I remember thinking that there weren’t enough fics with Regulus dealing with his mental health and just having a shit time of it, so I sat down and wrote the first chapter on a whim some time in October.

The way I viewed Regulus back then (this was only my second Jegulus fic- the first one being a long-winded fluffpiece with barely any character development or even actual character traits of James and Regulus other than being horribly terribly in love with each other- the fic is called Finding Barty if anyone’s curious) was different from many other people (and even slightly different from the way I view him now). Regulus to me was a person who wasn’t exactly brave- not in the ways that are “visible” to people at least. He’s not a coward but he isn’t outspoken as Sirius, especially when it comes to rebelling against his parents. To me, he also never blamed Sirius for leaving without him- at least not more than he blamed himself for not being stronger. I don’t think Regulus could ever channel his anger outwards at Sirius, he would turn it inwards at himself, destroying himself before he could harm others.

And so- this is the basis that this fic was born off of. A vague idea of Regulus getting disowned and a half-formed idea of a character. Like I said, there wasn’t much to go off of. I was impulsive, and I had time. So I wrote the first two chapters in a few days, published it and decided to see where it would take me.

On the story

(Note: In this section I am NOT invalidating romance stories. I literally write romance stories as my hobby. I read romance stories exclusively. Just- The Hills is not one. It will never be one. That does not take away from nor add to its value as a fic.)

The Hills was never meant to be a romance story. The Jegulus is there, yes- but it’s not the focus. I think it’s better that way, though readers might disagree.

In the first outline of the story (now buried deep in my notes app, never to see the light of day again, for better or worse) the Jegulus was a lot more prominent. There were many instances of James and Regulus growing closer, bonding together- but I never managed to fully follow through with it. Even when I tried to incorporate the Jegulus more, I just realized it wouldn’t work. It simply was not meant to be the focus of the story. The exes storyline also just didn’t exist originally. James and Regulus were going to organically grow closer, and fall in love.

Looking back, I realize that that would never have worked- not if I wanted to completely shift gears and turn this mental-health focused character study into an actual romance story. Regulus falling in love with James would have been at odds with his constant struggles to keep living, and while those two things are not mutually exclusive, I do believe that if I had kept the original outline and made the Jegulus more of a focus- then it would have fallen apart as a narrative.

I didn’t even realize I was deviating from the romance part of the fic until it was quite literally pointed out to me (albeit in a positive light) by one kind commenter. The more chapters I wrote, the more I diverged from my original idea of a Jegulus fic. Somewhere along the way it turned into purely a Regulus focused fic, with James being there as a sort of physical manifestation of Regulus’ past, as well as a narrative tool that allowed me to give Regulus comfort without it feeling like any of the characters was trying to “fix” him.

So yes, I would call this a Regulus character study before anything else, along with a study of how depression/ anxiety/ self harm / suicidal thoughts can impact a person; tear them apart at the bone and turn their life and their sense of self inside out. It’s about how absolutely debilitating mental illnesses can be; how they are a constant, daily struggle that you can’t just overcome like so many people lead you to believe. It takes time. And sometimes it doesn’t fully go away, your life just grows around it. You become better, not because you have been fixed- but because you have come to terms with being fractured. You are learning how to cope with it, and you are better than you were tomorrow, the day before. That’s all that matters. I wanted Regulus to learn all of this through the course of this fic.

Writing this fic was a form of catharsis for me, and I wanted to give other people facing similar struggles the same form of hope I felt while writing it. I won’t go into too much detail, but this fic is deeply, deeply personal to me, and seeing so many others resonate with it and love it in the same way I do has been awe-inspiring, for lack of a better word. I cannot thank all of the readers, the commenters and everyone who gave this fic a chance enough.

Thank you to anyone who's read this entire thing, please do let me know if anyone would like a second or even third part since this is not all I have to say abt this fic

#jegulus #fic: the hills #regulus black #james potter #fanfiction

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kwiwrites · 2 months

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just turned off anons bc i cannot deal with this anymore if you have something to say say it with your account sorry everyone who was sending me nice anons

At this point just kys. You had nothing to do with the case and ruining that persons life for your five mins of fame— WOW. Hope you had fun. Good thing you’re leaving the fandom, hope it was worth forcing MaliKiwi out of it before you left. Do us all a favor and hit delete on your blog Sweetpea

thanks for the death threat xx

#sammy rants

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kwiwrites · 2 months

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At this point just kys. You had nothing to do with the case and ruining that persons life for your five mins of fame— WOW. Hope you had fun. Good thing you’re leaving the fandom, hope it was worth forcing MaliKiwi out of it before you left. Do us all a favor and hit delete on your blog Sweetpea

thanks for the death threat xx

#Sammy mail #😍#wow #anon asks

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kwiwrites · 2 months

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mere i fucking hate you

#sammy mail #what the FUCK is this #this is not me #i am not a brony #im not a fucking brony #mere tag

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kwiwrites · 2 months

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just heard about your guys throuple!!!! I hope you’re really happy together 💚💚💚

rose i am genuinely going to start crying what the fuck is this please god save me god lord dear fucking god what have you made WHY HAVE YOU MADE THIS

#sammy mail #rose tag #god what is this #genuinely

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kwiwrites · 2 months

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Update- I have recieved death threats (!!!) and people have told me to kill myself, and OTHERS have been getting asks horrid asks telling me to delete myself and that I (and by extension by all others who worked with me) asks spreading lies.

This is fanfiction. This is fandom. This is for fun.

Death threats are never, ever, okay.

STOP SENDING ME DEATH THREATS. STOP SENDING THE PEOPLE WHO HAVE REBLOGGED IT DEATH THREATS. STOP SENDING DEATH THREATS TO THE PEOPLE WHO HAVE WORKED ON THIS.

STOP SENDING PEOPLE DEATH THREATS. DEATH THREATS ARE NEVER, EVER OKAY. GET YOUR SHIT TOGETHER.

RE: user malakiwi's "plagiarism" claims

Recently, user @malakiwis has claimed that they were plagiarized by another fic writer. This is false.

HERE is the drive with all of the evidence documenting malakiwi (kai's) plagiarism. The drive contains downloaded versions of their fic, along with videos proving that it is their fic. The drive also contains a document with screenshots and detailed explanations of many of the fics they plagiarized, along with proof of their plagiarism.

There were a total of 7 fics that we could prove were plagiarized.

With Kai's claims that these other stories were plagiarized from them, we wanted to make sure that the authors they stole from were being fairly represented in this process, and that the theft and hurt were being addressed rather than hidden in private conversations and deleted stories.

This post was solely made in response to Kai making it public, as we had wanted to keep things private and out of the spotlight.

ALSO NOTE: PLEASE do not witchhunt kai. This is meant to spread awareness about fandom etiquette, and fan culture etiquette, and to shed light on Kai's blatant plagiarism against particular authors, not to "expose" or "cancel them". Do not send them or any of the authors listed in here hate. Witch hunts and hatred solve nothing. I and everyone else who worked on this tirelessly for the past week do not condone any form of hate messages or posts. This is meant to spread fandom wide awareness.

In their original post, Kai also claims to have spoken to the author - this is false, as we have spoken to the actual author who has no recollection of ever speaking to Kai.

Thank you to everyone who worked with me over the past few (very stressful) days to help put this all together- @elysiren @spacexcowgirl @wormtitty @magswrite @buttfaceingtons

#jegulus #marauders #what the fuck.#genuinely what the fuck.#DEATH THREATS.#FUCKING DEATH THREATS.#wolfstar #what is wrong with people #i'm so sorry to everyone who is getting death threats

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kwiwrites · 2 months

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because of everything that has happened recently, I will no longer be active in the marauders fandom nor will I be active on this account. I’ve been getting couple of nasty inbox messages, and while I would like to say that they haven’t affected me they, of course, have.

there has been a general outpouring of support too, and I would like to thank everyone who sent me kind messages. Thank you to everyone in this fandom, I have met some lovely people through here. Thank you all for everything, and maybe I’ll decide to come back to this one day, when it all hurts a little less.

love, Sammy

(my WIPS will be finished, and the jegulus fic fest will continue as normal.)

#Jegulus #marauders #sammy rants #I have another account #So if u manage to find that #Congrats #I won’t be posting marauders though

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