monochr0me1
monochrome
things i wanted to say but never did
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he eventually giving up and left me with “ you deserves better ” reason
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The biggest heartbreak i got. When your ex ask to be his sister
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i dont want to hurt him anymore . what should i do? to let him go? i need to if that for his happiness. i cant be selfish eventho i love him so much. its all my fault . im doing it again and again. i hurts everyone especially him. im the worst and im a bad partner. is that why everyone leave me? he’ s gonna leave me too. dia akan selalu sakit kalau dia with me. i failed everything! i need to stay away from everyone so that they cant hurt by me!
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Sunday ; 28th May 2023
7:30 pm
We decided to go out after he arrived Melaka this morning. Eventho we’re not dating but i just take it as we ‘re on a date lol. I dont know why im excited to meet him maybe because i miss him so much. I think finally i have time to forget about my works , my problems and my weariness when i spent my time with him. I try hard to make him happy yesterday. Tah lah maybe for him yesterday just normal day to go out lol. I try not to ruin anything that can spoil his mood. I still learn about him. I still learn what things that make him happy. But for surely his badminton racket No 1 in his heart. I dont have enough money to buy for him hmm. Maybe if i have enough money he surely will be happy right? Hmm
Later that night,
I have so many thought when i saw his ex ‘ s picture. But i calm myself down to not ruin everything. I try fucking hard to control my jealous because he didn’t like it. He already explain but hmm tah lah. I overthink a lot after that. I hate myself because of this all the times. He hates when i assumes the things that’s not true. I trust him but i just explained what in my mind when i saw that pictures. Hmm i made mistakes again & finally i still ruin his mood. He already tired to handle everything and i make it worst. I really burden him. Forgive me :(
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It's my 10 year anniversary on Tumblr 🥳
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For him,
If you wanna go, I want you to know it’s okay. I understand . As much as i want u to stay , your happiness matter the most.
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Should i distance myself because i think im gonna hurt him again 🥀
#black and white#aesthetics#grunge#monochrome#random#psychedelic#illustration#art#dark#quote#diary#vibes#vintage#mood#life#self care#journal#surrealism#trippy#aesthetic
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I wasn’t good enough and i need to try my best
#black and white#aesthetics#grunge#monochrome#art#random#psychedelic#illustration#dark#quote#diary#vibes#vintage#mood#life#self care#journal#surrealism#trippy#aesthetic
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I want to understand what you’re going through. Im on your side. You are not in this alone .
#black and white#aesthetics#grunge#monochrome#art#random#psychedelic#illustration#dark#quote#diary#vibes#vintage#mood#life#self care#journal#surrealism#trippy#aesthetic
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“ but the man i loved, fell out of love with me ”
#black and white#aesthetics#grunge#monochrome#art#random#psychedelic#illustration#dark#quote#diary#vibes#vintage#mood#life#self care#journal#surrealism#trippy#aesthetic
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If i don’t understand you, im sorry. Im not your past who understands everything about you. But im trying tho, please be patient with me eventho its hard
#black and white#aesthetics#monochrome#grunge#art#random#psychedelic#illustration#dark#quote#diary#vibes#vintage#mood#life#self care#journal#surrealism#trippy#aesthetic
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