poelya

[poelya]

Just wanted to say your Poe rant was so good and do true, Nym!! 👌

I regularly get frustrated with just how much Poe's feelings are dismissed, overlooked, or just plain ignored throughout the sequels. Yes, Finn and Rey are still good friends, but Poe needs certain things (things everyone has the right to) that he's just not getting. He's always looking out for everyone else, more often than not throwing his own needs under the bus for them, but i just don't see anyone doing that for HIM. I remember that one quote about Poe being everyone's best friend, but it made me sad because not everyone is HIS best friend back. Poe needs those reassurances, he needs that approval, he needs that genuine appreciation for how much he works his ass off, or even just for being himself. Poe just seems to be held to an unfairly high standard by most people, and no one seems to notice how damaging that is.

Ough, that Charles Soule quote was floating around in my head yesterday when I was talking to @dameronalone about it, but I ultimately forgot to bring it up there OR in my analysis so thank you for bringing it up! I think the fact that Poe does come across as everyone's best friend might have a lil bit of a handshake meme with the way he's so eminently ride or die for people just from the bare minimum — and certainly I don't think he's close to everyone he's friendly with, but I think there's a level of something there.

But you're absolutely right on all accounts! It can be kind of frustrating to watch, because so much of his emotional needs are neglected or outright dismissed — and that's not even counting what you just said, about impossible standards. More ranting, and lots of subjectivity below the cut.

This is not a "I'm ignoring the nuance" of these situations kind of post, and I'd like to say outright I do try my best to understand where every character is coming from in an objective way, etc, bc I'm like a lil scientist sticking them under microscopes.

That being said this is about Poe, about his feelings, and he's the actual light of my life so there do be a very narrow view of things ahead bc I'm focusing on *him*. Okay? Okay. Now that that's out of the way.

My heart just honestly breaks for Poe constantly, considering....how little anyone seems to take his feelings into consideration? Although I certainly believe that he likely kept some degree of his captivity a secret....I honestly can't imagine what would have gone through his head if Poe knew that Leia still thought her son could be saved after torturing him - hell, even brought back to their base, mere hours probably after Poe told Tas he never wanted to talk about Ren again until the day he was behind bars.

And I think the biggest "Poe is held to impossible standards he can't reach" moment for me, is in tlj during his first conversation with Holdo. She makes a jab at him for the dreadnought run, reminding him of the people he just lost under his command. Which, sure, impulsivity and disobeying orders is a good reason to remind someone that you don't trust them.

However.

The only reason your ass is alive to say these things, is because he went through with that plan. Had the Dreadnought still been around, the Resistance would have been obliterated in nothing flat. They would have all been dead.

The (admittedly delayed) accomplishment of saving the fleet, is entirely dismissed. This is on the grander scale, but we see this again in tros.

Poe has grown, obviously, since tfa and tlj. Gone are the days where Leia is pinching the bridge of her nose and telling him to put some battles back that's too many. Instead of recklessly running back into the village against hopeless odds and damning his mission, or recklessly pursuing a battle with likewise poor odds and having a similarly high cost, Poe now hauls fucking ass in the most reckless fashion imaginable from a fight. Come hell or fucking high water, he's getting out of this fight like he's been told repeatedly he needs to, to save as many people as possible.

And the accomplishment of saving their lives over drastic odds, completing his mission, is almost immediately dismissed. His out of the box thinking is also derided - sure, everyone survived, but the ship that can clearly be fixed a billion times over got trashed so!! That's still not enough.

And it comes up again and again I think in tros in little ways also - getting teased for his past with Zorii, the most. [gestures vaguely] the 4D Chess argument that he and Finn have where they're talking about the Force Sensitivity but not really but they ARE its just accidentally cutting to the heart of Poe's insecurities and whoops he tried throwing that in Finn's face and WHOOPS that backfired fr....

tfw when you're playing 4D chess so your friend can safely come out as force sensitive during an argument but then you try throwing the fact that you're not force sensitive back at him and in doing so accidentally get right to the heart of your insecurities of not being enough and him, still on the subject of force sensitivity, unintentionally affirms this!!

[head in my hands] sometimes these three exhaust me, they really do. I love them but ongod you guys need to work on your communication.

And I think what's ultimately so tragic about the fact that Poe's feelings and needs often fall to the wayside, is that the moments where we DO get people praising Poe or being truly affectionate about him....Poe misses it.

I can't specifically think of an example for Rey or Finn in the movies off the top of my head, but it happens with Leia. It happens with Leia consistently in tlj.

Obviously, there's the fact that he's unconscious during the "he's a troublemaker. I like him" "me too", but Poe also misses a little bit of her fond smile at him aboard the transport by looking back towards the Raddus, and then again on Crait, he turns around before he can truly see Leia's proud mama look during the "follow me" scene.

Like truly is it any wonder he immediately crumbled the second he was no longer leading WITH Leia? He was already being made to feel like nothing he did was good enough as her second in command - of course he freezes up at the thought of being the ONLY one in charge, and needs someone to help carry the load with him. So much rides on poe's shoulders, and no one gives him the grace he needs.

And when those reassurances he's craving, the praise he needs, finally do come to light - he's already looking to the next problem, and misses it entirely.

#ask box #userorb #my meta #ISH! #no shade to any character I love them all but also y'all need to shape up a lil bit #he's! trying his fucking best!!!!!

[poelya]

POE DAMERON 🜸 Poe has a charisma. A natural spark

@swsource​ star wars week: day #1 – favourite character @lgbtqcreators bingo: poster design [insp] | for @djarin ♡

#EXPLODES!!! MY LOVE!!!! AND THE SCRIPT DESCRIPTION 🫶 #star wars #st #poe dameron

[poelya]

hello hi, very quick - did you know i love him

#friendly reminder I love him #star wars #poe dameron

[poelya]

Oscar Isaac for the Brioni Spring/Summer 2024 Campaign

#handsome lad being handsome #oscar isaac

[poelya]

I know it's because he's a manipulative bastard but Khonshu telling Marc "you are worth protecting" like the thing he was so desperate to hear from his dad

There's a literal god saying "I have your back. I'll keep you safe. You're my favorite. You are special and worthy and I'm not going to abandon you." No wonder Marc went all in for him.

#mouth drops #oh I'm gonna punt them #his dad or khonshu? both #moon knight #marc spector

[poelya]

i wanna say fuck you to anyone who shame disabled, chronically ill & neurodivergent people, especially homebound folks, for "spending too much time on their phone/on the internet/etc." when it's the only (Somewhat) accessible way for them to experience the world. many people don't get to get out much even if they want to because of their disabilities. shaming someone for trying to connect with the world, make friends and engage with hobbies in ways that are accessible to them is beyond cruel and unnecessary

#mmmhm #text post

[poelya]

For April prompt LIGHT in @mcuchallenge

#moon knight #<33 #flashing gif

[poelya]

And I will not be the last Jedi.

#star wars #st #tlj #god the coloring of the first gif? exquisite

[poelya]

Posters for the Original Star Wars Trilogy

@swsource Star Wars Week: Day 2 – Trilogy Wars – Favorite trilogy

#star wars #ot

[poelya]

#work of art

#my love #star wars #st #tlj #poe dameron #queue are the spark

[poelya]

#tlok #lin beifong #fanart #queue are the spark

[poelya]

You’re owned by giant balls of exploding gas? How did that transaction work, Poe? Okay, maybe I’m over-romanticizing it a bit.

#my love #star wars #st #poe dameron #queue are the spark

[poelya]

#BEAT HIS EMO FASCIST ASS BABY YOU CAN DO IT!!!!!!!! #polls

[poelya]

Han Solo for my bestie @soons-star @agent606

@swsource​ Star Wars Week: Day 1 – The Chosen One – Favorite character

#oh this is so neat #star wars #ot #tesb #han solo

[poelya]

@swsource star wars week DAY 1 – THE CHOSEN ONE: Rey Skywalker

#my darling my love my daughter #star wars #st #rey skywalker

[poelya]

fun reblog game mayb: assign prev a horror movie survivor/final girl

#hmm. #Ziggy from fear street I think 🫶 #tag games

[poelya]

it's been a hot minute, and honestly I'm trying to use social media less, but talking to @dameronalone last night about Poe spurred on a lengthier thought process/analysis of him today, so I want to talk about Poe Dameron and emotional neglect.

That sounds heavy as hell! It really does, but it's been on my mind recently while re-examining Poe while I come to terms with a new neurodivergency(tm) of mine, and it's really changing my whole perspective on him as a whole.

So what is emotional neglect? Well, according to ScienceDirect, it's this

Emotional neglect can be defined as a relationship pattern in which an individual’s affectional needs are consistently disregarded, ignored, invalidated, or unappreciated by a significant other.

At which point you're probably thinking "okay Nym, but Poe doesn't have a significant other" which is true! But Poe's emotions do get neglected quite often. Let's examine it below the cut shall we?

So what spawned this thought process of mine, was my partner mentioning that Poe probably is feeling a little bit "he was my friend first" about Finn in TROS, in regards to his jealousy. Whether you want to look at things from a romantic lens, a platonic lens, or a queerplatonic one, I think it's safe to say we can all agree that in TROS Poe is feeling left out.

"You mean when Poe's not here" he's clearly bitter and angry about being the odd man out, that they're keeping secrets from him (even if they also don't know everything about him), and can't let it go even when they're about to be executed. Poe is usually the one to get left behind, so there's a lot that he's not privy too - not just in the sense that Finn and Rey both have the Force when he doesn't, just in the sense that there's a history there that Poe doesn't know.

And - to no fault of their own - I don't think anyone's attitudes in the film is particularly helping Poe's sense of isolation and alienation. He gets held to a particularly high, nearly impossible to reach, standard at every turn. He attempts to save everyone's life aboard the Falcon, and is at first clearly compared to Rey (although I don't understand Chewie, I think the "Rey wouldn't be doing this" translates extremely well considering Poe's follow up of "well Rey's not here, is she?"), and then his accomplishment of getting everyone back alive is completely dismissed because he trashed the Falcon doing so. Again, he's held to a standard he cannot meet. Every time Poe does something, it's treated as not enough.

As much as we might joke about the fact that the TROS visual dictionary implies he has a praise kink, the fact that it points out that "yeah well, I got us back didn't I?" is Poe seeking acknowledgment, one that he doesn't get in the slightest, leads into I think the most telling thing about how much Poe's emotional needs are neglected: Zorii.

By all rights, things should be way more complicated between them than they are, from Poe's perspective. Regardless of how nuanced the actual circumstances were, the fact of the matter is that things ended awfully between them two of them (not that it started well between them, when Zorii tricked Poe) and the last time Poe saw her, they fought physically as enemies despite being friends that occasionally made out just a few short hours before.

And we do see some of that "complicated" initially. Poe drags his feet about going back to Kijimi (and I think a little of that is due to him not wanting to lose any 'standing' with Finn and Rey, if they find out something less than great about his past, then perhaps their opinion of him will drop), and he's guarded around Zorii - up until the rooftop scene.

As much of it is likely latent "I think I might have loved you once upon a time" feelings, I do think Poe jumps so quickly into opening up around her, because she unintentionally fills an absence/lacking that Poe feels around everyone else, and especially around Finn and Rey (who at this point seem to be the people he's closest with). Zorii gets Poe in a way neither of them will be able to, on several layers, and I think that might be a little bit also why he's even able to open up to her. If Poe's already feeling left out, the having somebody abruptly ask him to run away with her because she wants him around and wants to include him, and then acknowledges what no one else has/is able to ("I don't believe you believe that"), then I can understand why Poe in the next few minutes is asking to kiss her.

But it's also indicative of...a recurring trait of Poe's, as well. Because Poe has a tendency of becoming ride or die for people, upon being offered...the bare minimum?

Zorii shows him a small amount of vulnerability in lowering her visor so they can speak, then admits she wants him around, and hears him out about his fears and points out that she knows deep down that he doesn't believe that. And it's enough to make Poe ask her to come with them, to kiss her, and then later give her bedroom eyes across the clearing on Ajan Kloss.

But - it's not just romantically that this happens. The same thing happens in Before the Awakening. Yes, Poe absolutely would have joined regardless because of what happened to Muran, but I personally think Poe becoming immediately ride or die for Leia, has a lot to do with the fact that Leia listens to him.

He mentions that he's never felt so heard before in his life, and it moves him enough that I think it has a lot to do with why he's immediately personally loyal to Leia and willing to do anything for her.

Even prior to any romantic feelings for Zorii, he projects a bit on her in Freefall because they're of similar age, and winds up loyal to her because of the fact that they bond a little bit because of their similarities - in terms of age, of feeling older than they are because of trauma, and feeling the weight of their respective family legacies. Again, it's the bare minimum of being heard, that draws Poe in.

(I think you could make a small argument, also, for Poe being so immediately ride or die for Finn, because the latter saved Poe's life and then rescued BB-8.)

Considering the continuing trend of Poe throwing himself at the next problem so he doesn't have to stop and linger on his problems, I think his emotional neglect is partially self-inflicted, but I do think there is a larger habit of the people around him on occasion forgetting that he has those emotional needs as well.

He is the Leia of the sequel trilogy, in the sense that I think everyone looks at how strong and competent he is, and forgets that he needs the same amount of emotional care as anyone else. And unfortunately, unlike Leia, what Poe doesn't have is a Han to beat it over his head that he needs to be taken care of just as much as the Resistance does.

It all rounds back to the "everything's easy for Poe Dameron, no need to dwell" in issue #14 of the Poe comics. And you'd think that, since after TLJ Poe is no longer hiding behind that cheerful, cocky flyboy facade, that things would actually be easier for him, but it isn't - his emotional needs are still being neglected, routinely both by him and the people around him because it seems like he doesn't need them as much, WHILE also feeling left out and held to impossible standards he seemingly can't meet no matter how hard he tries or whatever he might accomplish.

And it's hard to say what might have prompted this - it could be the strain his and Kes's relationship took due to Kes falling into a depression and being unable to meet Poe where Poe was at in his grief. It could (and most likely) have something to do with his mother's former coworkers telling Poe he was more trouble than he was worth and that Kes would give up on him someday. It could be from spending a year and a half/two years of being put down for his idealism by Zorii. It could be from years in the New Republic, being told he was a problem for being who he was and standing up for what he believed in. It could be all of the above, as well as Poe's own mental health problems.

But it's safe to say that I want to curl up around him like a protective little dragon and hug him for a long time and make that boy feel so loved that the bare minimum doesn't get hearts floating around in his eyes ever again.

#bumps this.