shaakyhaands

[shaakyhaands]

Wizard School But it’s Not Shit

Disclaimer: 1. This idea is half baked and unfinished, 2. This is not an @ at codvn (I thought y’all might appreciate this idea), but more so at Harry Potter.

Honestly, I was just thinking about how if I were to write a magical school, what would I do differently from HP? How would I break it down, etc. This is what I have, so far.

Let me know what you think!!

The schools:

The school of thermal manipulation— “thermanipulation”, if you will. Fire magic, ice magic, is magic operating along the shared axis of thermodynamics. The difference is in the direction of the user’s approach. Students are often colloquially referred to as “thermaturges”.

a school for the transmutation of matter— taking matter and/or energy in one form and turning it into something else. This can look like turning water into wine, or using an auxiliary energy source to create matter out of apparently nothing.

Nature (populated heavily by those of druids and fae and environmental scientist origin)

Psychology (gaslight gatekeep girlboss, this school is all about magic focusing on inducing mental effects. lots of business majors here)

The school of artifacts and crafting— using and making magical items and tools! Knowing how to handle them, how to imbue mundane objects with magical properties, being mad scientists, etc.

The school of Cunt and Serving (performance based magic. Bards. Arts. Singing, dancing, and a lot of degeneracy)

The school of metaphysical dimension manipulation (MDM)— time travel, portals, pocket dimensions, alternate universes, shit along those lines. Students are sometimes referred to as “singularities” by their peers from other schools, mostly as joke.

The school of medical magic— clerics and shit. Mostly to help keep people alive when they get up to fuck shit in other schools.

The school of battle ready magics— DPS, tanks, paladins, and the like. This school was made for students coming from races/backgrounds that are often associated with being built like brickshit houses, and would like to use that to their advantage. You want to brawl? Are you a former pirate, criminal, or soldier? Are you part orc, ogre, or Dragonborn? Did you roll a nat 20 on strength? If magic fails you, is your backup to just beat the shit out of your opp physically? This is the school for you.

Electives exist! And are to some extent mandatory, depending on areas of study. Because one of my beefs with how HP was set up was— when do they learn MATH??? I don’t care if they’re wizards, they still need to know how to fuck around with numbers to buy bread and make a monthly budget. So, if someone is studying something where it makes sense for them to need a non magical skill, chances are their coursework includes some classes that focus on those said skills. An example: those pursing artifact smithing will have to take some math courses.

As such, there are magical electives, and ALSO mundane electives.

Students will often have to take electives for rooted in other schools— all students have to take at least one introductory course in thermanip, for example. They will also have a minimum number of elective classes. These are classes they have to take, in the spirit of being “well rounded” and having a comprehensive education. The specific classes they choose are mostly up to the student’s discretion.

Some elective examples are: business 101, animal handling, coffin building, dimensionality 101, calculus I - III, makeup and costuming, defense against the dark arts, potions and poisons, Mixed martial arts, wine tasting, etc.

#magic #harry potter #court of darkness #codvn

[shaakyhaands]

Terminal Hanaki? Boring. Chronic Hanahaki? Exciting.

[shaakyhaands]

Hozier and Megan Thee Stallion collab when

#you can’t tell me Hozier wouldn’t be game #hozier #megan thee stallion #in my shitposting era now i guess

[shaakyhaands]

Shoutout to Hozier for unintentionally writing the song that became my lifeline as I processed/grieved my brother’s death.

It’s not even a mourning song

Its literally a break up song, and it’s everywhere

Deadass, I saw it added to a Good Omens playlist after s2

(Which, granted is the the context it’s supposed to be applied to— but still, I was Shook when I saw that, lmao)

It’s just wild to me to see people vibing out and relating to a song I heavily associate with just… a very different meaning.

…

(It’s All Things End, if you’re curious)

…

Idk man, the song just has such a healthy attitude towards things ending/the cycle of life. And even though it’s written in context of a romantic relationship, the core takeaway is applicable to the ending of things in general.

I’m so serious, I don’t think I would’ve processed my brother’s passing nearly as well as I did without this song. This song was exactly what I needed to hear at the time.

People say this all the time, but I genuinely think this song changed my life. At least, it heavily influenced the course of my life for several crucial, potentially incredibly volatile months. Shit could have gone so much worse, but it didn’t.

And yeah, a good chunk of that is due to my own efforts— seeking help, taking time off from work, making space for my emotions, etc. But this song? This song played a big part, too. With it, I feel like… I became a better person? Which is crazy thing to think, coming out of my brother’s passing. But it’s true.

Having internalized the song’s message, I feel more whole and at peace with myself. As if, if there is a lesson to be learned in this, I’ve learned it. And I’m ready to keep going, irrevocably changed though I am.

So, thank you Hozier.

—

For additional context: my brother passed away October 2nd. I found out on either the 5th or the 7th (can’t remember). Spotify released their Spotify Wrapped I believe December 1st. All Things End is the 10th song on my Spotify Wrapped. Number 10. I listened to 129,008 minutes of music in 2023. So, in two months, I listened to this particular song enough times for it to beat out songs that I’d listen to umpteenth times for the entire year. I’m not exaggerating when I tell you, I listened to this song a lot.

(It’s also just a really good song. Even without my bro dying, I still would’ve probably listened to this song a lot, lmao)

#hozier #the hoziest #unreal unearth #all things end #tw: death #it’s a lovely break up song #but this will always be my brother’s death song to me

[shaakyhaands]

#save for a rainy day

[shaakyhaands]

They DESERVE TO BE HUMBLED

CODVN but (some of) the princes play DND:

How they start playing, idk. Maybe it’s a dare. Maybe it’s a genuine, honest to god attempt from one of the princes to learn more about MC and her habits/hobbies/culture. Imo, Fenn probably did something and of course, the other princes got dragged into it.

Mc: DM

• is the one who introduced the game.

• Teaches the princes how to play

• tortures them when possible.

Toa and Guy:

• Wizards, because MC punked them.

• Convinced them they were the most powerful class at higher levels, neglected to inform them that they start with fuck all health.

• “Here’s this: if you’re so smart, why don’t you play a mundane who has to study magic? Humans play this class all the time, I bet you can’t handle it…”

• “You bet??? YOu BET?? Very well, speak less” *gets hit once, almost dies from 7 points of damage*

• Guy demands the opportunity to change his class, MC responds: “Okay! I’ll let you change your class— and everyone else will get the chance to multi class :)”

Toa: “multi… class?”

MC: “Oh, it’s when you get to reap the benefits of your character occupying two classes at once :)”

Guy grumbles, and falls into a stony silence.

• the two *barely* survive levels 1-3, but somehow they pull through. And suddenly, outside of game, they’ve started acting with a little more respect for those not magically gifted…

Fenn: Paladin.

• Still charisma based, so can still rizz and charm like Fenn is used to.

• But playing as a Paladin also serves as wish fulfillment, because that’s what DND is all about.

• You might be thinking, “A paladin?? But Fenn should be a Bard, it’s so clearly the best fit”. And I get you! But that’s exactly it— Fenn is already a Bard in his real life. Playing as one in game does nothing special for him. There’s no escapism, no fantasy. Here, he can be a knight in shining armor, upstanding and righteous, and all the other things not typically associated with Fenn. All the other things people don’t let him be, that his reputation prevent him from ever really achieving. Here, he can basically role play as Greyson. And honestly, who wouldn’t?

• is the first prince MC introduced the game to

• lowkey gets into it, and eventually does some of his own campaigns :)

Roy: Bard.

• Again, the name of the game is DND Wish Fulfillment. Roy looks up to Guy, who’s attribute is charisma. What class is based on that stat again? BARD. And now, Roy doesn’t have to be morally upstanding and perfect and unsoiled. He gets to be a little shit and enjoy it.

Lynt: I have no idea, NGL, but I’m thinking warlock.

• This is basically a DND joke— if you don’t know, warlocks have like, two spell slots. So if they want to cast more spells, they need to recharge, which is basically some form of rest.

• Don’t let this fool you, warlocks can be fucking BUSTED. Those two/three spell slots, they put them to fucking WORK. But they gotta get their rest in, dawg.

• in this way, they remind me of our sleepy boy. Quietly powerful as hell, but really only fuck around if they HAVE to. Otherwise, they kind of just mind their business.

Rio: Barbarian

• one of the easier classes to start with— and I know they’re ALL just starting, and I love Rio, but he can use the training wheels. Ain’t no shame in that.

• he approaches life in a way that’s very similar to barbarians: in a story, when Toa was telling him he was trying to put too much magic through too small an opening, Rio’s response was “oh, I know what to do! That just means I need to use EVEN MORE magic!” Like, shit, go off king.

• unlike some of the other princes, I don’t think he would be adverse to using melee over magic.

Lance: Rogue/Druid RANGER

• Lance gets to multi class because 1. I’m biased, and 2. I can see arguments for both classes.

• you may be thinking, “but shaaky, he’s the prince of wrath! His kingdom’s main export is mercenaries, ffs. Shouldn’t HE be a barbarian, or at least a fighter?” And again, I hear you! But, you gotta remember the magic words! Say em with me: “DND is wish fulfillment”. Lance fucking HATES how his kingdom is ran. That’s like, 80% of his story. He wouldn’t WANT to play a character built like that. Unless… it was for the people.

• correct me if I’m wrong, but Lance is the only prince who knows what it’s like to be poor. Not just a commoner, like actually destitute. He’s probably the prince with the most street smarts. And lowkey, he’s probably had to steal shit to survive at some point. He 1000% would ace the rogue class, and would probably stun the princes while he did it.

• Lance: “I loot the body”

Toa: “pardon?”

Lance: “I slit the guards throat, he fell over prone. I loot the body, for whatever valuables are on his person.”

MC: “make an investigation check”

Lynt: “…😨”

• Druid is there if he wanted to just fuck around and hang with animals.

• RANGER, oh my GOD ranger is RIGHT THERE, how did I miss that—

• Ranger is basically the flavor you get when you mix rogue and druid together, so it makes sense that it would fit Lance

• the man fucks off to the forest first chance he gets, everytime.

• just give him a bow already— he probably knows how to use it given his Ira background

• it’s the final battle, the other princes are up against the BBEG: Toa and Guy are on the brink of death, Roy and Rio are down, Fenn and Lynt are barely hanging in there— and then out of nowhere, a hissing noise rings out above everybody, followed by a sickening thwa-CHUNK. An arrow has lodged itself smack dab between the BBEG’s eyes, he falls over, dead. From 600 yards away, Lance’s character stands up, says “finally”, and leaves.

Other silly little head canons:

• instead of maps, MC uses magic to generate basically holograms of bosses and character minis.

The holograms move. So when the giant beast bellows, I mean it literally bellows, claws out and spittle flying and everything. More than once have the princes jumped back in their seats, genuinely scared by the images she generated.

Toa, traumatized: “Remember when I said you had no imagination?… I take it back. I take it all back…”

Guy, thinking to himself: if she ever did go evil on us, we’d be fucked…

• MC will call them on it if the princes lapse out of character.

MC will remind them their characters are, in some way very starkly, different from themselves, and for the story, those differences matter.

Guy: “what do you mean, he said he wouldn’t let us past?”

Mc shakes her head, does an accent: “gainst the rules, boy. Can’t be doing that”.

“Against the—?! You will LET ME PAST, you insolent mongrel—”

Mc: “roll to intimidate.”

Guy: “roll?”

Mc: “I’m sure, being a huffy prince of a powerful kingdom and all, demanding stuff usually works for you. But might I remind you, your highness— that you are playing a game. and in this game, your character is a scrawny, bookish sapling of a man who weighs about a third as much as the guard you’re talking to, and is around half his height. Tell me, what’s your charisma modifier?”

Guy frowns, but looks through his character sheet.

Guy: “… negative one?”

MC smiles: “Your character has the charisma of dragon piss filled boot. Which means you need a 16 or higher, otherwise this guard is going to laugh in your face and pat you on the head.”

Guy stares at MC, but says nothing.

Mc: “Now, your wisdom modifier?”

Guy: “what?”

Mc: “your wisdom modifier, what is it?”

He checks his sheet again.

Guy: “… it’s a positive 4.”

Mc: “you’re right, it is. Which is a hell of a lot better than a negative one. So, while it may not be intuitive, you’re going to be much more likely to convince this man to let you through if you utilize a wisdom based approach, as opposed to relying on charisma.”

Toa snorts: “what would you know of wisdom?”

Mc: “might I remind you that being an asshole is not listed as one of your character’s traits? Also, your character is currently otherwised engaged, trying not to die from missing the last step on the staircase. As such, you can’t hear this exchange.”

• Eventually, after getting familiar with the games mechanics, the princes do a campaign where they get isakied to Earth.

MC throws a lot of mundane shit at them, and they absolutely flounder trying to make any sense of it.

Guy: “Peanut butter?? What do you mean he’s allergic to peanut butter, what the devil is that??? Epipen??!”

Lynt, confused: “Almond milk?… how do they…?”

Toa: “I assure the woman that I am not, in fact, “tripping”, as she so claims. The floor is clear and level, and there are no staircases in sight.”

Fenn: “what do you mean he’s 63??? Good Creator, how long are humans lives again? Wasn’t it at least a 1000 years?…”

#I love my boys #but they absolutely deserve all the shit MC has cooked up for them #codndvn #codvn

[shaakyhaands]

New fic trope just dropped: they both work at flower shops— one of them a florist’s, the other a cannabis dispensary.

#fanfic #tropes #bad puns #I work at a dispo and this thought cracked me tf up

[shaakyhaands]

CODVN but (some of) the princes play DND:

How they start playing, idk. Maybe it’s a dare. Maybe it’s a genuine, honest to god attempt from one of the princes to learn more about MC and her habits/hobbies/culture. Imo, Fenn probably did something and of course, the other princes got dragged into it.

Mc: DM

• is the one who introduced the game.

• Teaches the princes how to play

• tortures them when possible.

Toa and Guy:

• Wizards, because MC punked them.

• Convinced them they were the most powerful class at higher levels, neglected to inform them that they start with fuck all health.

• “Here’s this: if you’re so smart, why don’t you play a mundane who has to study magic? Humans play this class all the time, I bet you can’t handle it…”

• “You bet??? YOu BET?? Very well, speak less” *gets hit once, almost dies from 7 points of damage*

• Guy demands the opportunity to change his class, MC responds: “Okay! I’ll let you change your class— and everyone else will get the chance to multi class :)”

Toa: “multi… class?”

MC: “Oh, it’s when you get to reap the benefits of your character occupying two classes at once :)”

Guy grumbles, and falls into a stony silence.

• the two *barely* survive levels 1-3, but somehow they pull through. And suddenly, outside of game, they’ve started acting with a little more respect for those not magically gifted…

Fenn: Paladin.

• Still charisma based, so can still rizz and charm like Fenn is used to.

• But playing as a Paladin also serves as wish fulfillment, because that’s what DND is all about.

• You might be thinking, “A paladin?? But Fenn should be a Bard, it’s so clearly the best fit”. And I get you! But that’s exactly it— Fenn is already a Bard in his real life. Playing as one in game does nothing special for him. There’s no escapism, no fantasy. Here, he can be a knight in shining armor, upstanding and righteous, and all the other things not typically associated with Fenn. All the other things people don’t let him be, that his reputation prevent him from ever really achieving. Here, he can basically role play as Greyson. And honestly, who wouldn’t?

• is the first prince MC introduced the game to

• lowkey gets into it, and eventually does some of his own campaigns :)

Roy: Bard.

• Again, the name of the game is DND Wish Fulfillment. Roy looks up to Guy, who’s attribute is charisma. What class is based on that stat again? BARD. And now, Roy doesn’t have to be morally upstanding and perfect and unsoiled. He gets to be a little shit and enjoy it.

Lynt: I have no idea, NGL, but I’m thinking warlock.

• This is basically a DND joke— if you don’t know, warlocks have like, two spell slots. So if they want to cast more spells, they need to recharge, which is basically some form of rest.

• Don’t let this fool you, warlocks can be fucking BUSTED. Those two/three spell slots, they put them to fucking WORK. But they gotta get their rest in, dawg.

• in this way, they remind me of our sleepy boy. Quietly powerful as hell, but really only fuck around if they HAVE to. Otherwise, they kind of just mind their business.

Rio: Barbarian

• one of the easier classes to start with— and I know they’re ALL just starting, and I love Rio, but he can use the training wheels. Ain’t no shame in that.

• he approaches life in a way that’s very similar to barbarians: in a story, when Toa was telling him he was trying to put too much magic through too small an opening, Rio’s response was “oh, I know what to do! That just means I need to use EVEN MORE magic!” Like, shit, go off king.

• unlike some of the other princes, I don’t think he would be adverse to using melee over magic.

Lance: Rogue/Druid RANGER

• Lance gets to multi class because 1. I’m biased, and 2. I can see arguments for both classes.

• you may be thinking, “but shaaky, he’s the prince of wrath! His kingdom’s main export is mercenaries, ffs. Shouldn’t HE be a barbarian, or at least a fighter?” And again, I hear you! But, you gotta remember the magic words! Say em with me: “DND is wish fulfillment”. Lance fucking HATES how his kingdom is ran. That’s like, 80% of his story. He wouldn’t WANT to play a character built like that. Unless… it was for the people.

• correct me if I’m wrong, but Lance is the only prince who knows what it’s like to be poor. Not just a commoner, like actually destitute. He’s probably the prince with the most street smarts. And lowkey, he’s probably had to steal shit to survive at some point. He 1000% would ace the rogue class, and would probably stun the princes while he did it.

• Lance: “I loot the body”

Toa: “pardon?”

Lance: “I slit the guards throat, he fell over prone. I loot the body, for whatever valuables are on his person.”

MC: “make an investigation check”

Lynt: “…😨”

• Druid is there if he wanted to just fuck around and hang with animals.

• RANGER, oh my GOD ranger is RIGHT THERE, how did I miss that—

• Ranger is basically the flavor you get when you mix rogue and druid together, so it makes sense that it would fit Lance

• the man fucks off to the forest first chance he gets, everytime.

• just give him a bow already— he probably knows how to use it given his Ira background

• it’s the final battle, the other princes are up against the BBEG: Toa and Guy are on the brink of death, Roy and Rio are down, Fenn and Lynt are barely hanging in there— and then out of nowhere, a hissing noise rings out above everybody, followed by a sickening thwa-CHUNK. An arrow has lodged itself smack dab between the BBEG’s eyes, he falls over, dead. From 600 yards away, Lance’s character stands up, says “finally”, and leaves.

Other silly little head canons:

• instead of maps, MC uses magic to generate basically holograms of bosses and character minis.

The holograms move. So when the giant beast bellows, I mean it literally bellows, claws out and spittle flying and everything. More than once have the princes jumped back in their seats, genuinely scared by the images she generated.

Toa, traumatized: “Remember when I said you had no imagination?… I take it back. I take it all back…”

Guy, thinking to himself: if she ever did go evil on us, we’d be fucked…

• MC will call them on it if the princes lapse out of character.

MC will remind them their characters are, in some way very starkly, different from themselves, and for the story, those differences matter.

Guy: “what do you mean, he said he wouldn’t let us past?”

Mc shakes her head, does an accent: “gainst the rules, boy. Can’t be doing that”.

“Against the—?! You will LET ME PAST, you insolent mongrel—”

Mc: “roll to intimidate.”

Guy: “roll?”

Mc: “I’m sure, being a huffy prince of a powerful kingdom and all, demanding stuff usually works for you. But might I remind you, your highness— that you are playing a game. and in this game, your character is a scrawny, bookish sapling of a man who weighs about a third as much as the guard you’re talking to, and is around half his height. Tell me, what’s your charisma modifier?”

Guy frowns, but looks through his character sheet.

Guy: “… negative one?”

MC smiles: “Your character has the charisma of dragon piss filled boot. Which means you need a 16 or higher, otherwise this guard is going to laugh in your face and pat you on the head.”

Guy stares at MC, but says nothing.

Mc: “Now, your wisdom modifier?”

Guy: “what?”

Mc: “your wisdom modifier, what is it?”

He checks his sheet again.

Guy: “… it’s a positive 4.”

Mc: “you’re right, it is. Which is a hell of a lot better than a negative one. So, while it may not be intuitive, you’re going to be much more likely to convince this man to let you through if you utilize a wisdom based approach, as opposed to relying on charisma.”

Toa snorts: “what would you know of wisdom?”

Mc: “might I remind you that being an asshole is not listed as one of your character’s traits? Also, your character is currently otherwised engaged, trying not to die from missing the last step on the staircase. As such, you can’t hear this exchange.”

• Eventually, after getting familiar with the games mechanics, the princes do a campaign where they get isakied to Earth.

MC throws a lot of mundane shit at them, and they absolutely flounder trying to make any sense of it.

Guy: “Peanut butter?? What do you mean he’s allergic to peanut butter, what the devil is that??? Epipen??!”

Lynt, confused: “Almond milk?… how do they…?”

Toa: “I assure the woman that I am not, in fact, “tripping”, as she so claims. The floor is clear and level, and there are no staircases in sight.”

Fenn: “what do you mean he’s 63??? Good Creator, how long are humans lives again? Wasn’t it at least a 1000 years?…”

#court of darkness #codvn #toa qelsum #guy avari #lynt akedia #dnd #dnd5e

[shaakyhaands]

It’s true and you should say it.

[shaakyhaands]

In a similar vein of my last post:

Neil: s2 is kind of quiet, gentle, and romantic :)

Us: s2 is kind of quiet, gentle, and romantic!!!

Neil: … (as opposed to season one).

Us: *not paying attention anymore, already making fan theories*

#good omens #neil gaiman #goomens #good omens series 2 #I feel like we all saw this #and just collectively ignored the second half of the sentence #which #to be fair #I don’t blame us #Neil got us #he got us with that bait and switch #idk if it was intentional #but he got us

[shaakyhaands]

idk if anyone’s done this yet but:

#good omens #goomens #good omens 2 #images you can hear #good omens 3 #!!! <3 #to the world

[shaakyhaands]

#court of darkness #codvn #toa qelsum #guy avari #lynt akedia #otome romance #voltage

[shaakyhaands]

@codvn fandom, what the hell is Lynt’s/Rio’s ancient magic??

Trying to worldbuild an AU, need to know all the princes ancient magics. I don’t care about spoilers, I want ANSWERS. Found the info for most of the princes + Lou, but can’t find anything for Lynt or Rio.

SPOILERS AHEAD (you’ve been warned):

Guy: consent sold separately

Toa: I forgor

Fenn: “steals vitality” aka good night

Roy: you like me, right? 🥺 👉👈

Lance: so anyways, I started blasting—

Lou: quite literally all of them. And maybe more? Who knows.

Lynt: ??? (Edit: indica couchlock)

Rio: ??? (Edit: MC’s power, but slightly different somehow?)

I’m assuming Rio has ancient magic (because he’s a prince), but honestly I don’t even know? Lynt definitely does, it’s mentioned in his path from what I can tell. Whether or not he actually uses it during the events of his path, though, I don’t know.

Please help 😭

#court of darkness #codvn #lynt akedia #rio voleri #otome fandom #if I can’t find Lynt or Rio’s ancient magics #I’m either going to make something up #or they’ll just die

[shaakyhaands]

The fandom doesn’t talk enough about Crowley and Aziraphale having a room where they lock themselves away to speak in private.

The fandom also doesn’t talk enough about them getting “caught” by “police” and Crowley commenting about it being a hobby of certain policemen.

Brilliant social commentary and how it relates to their relationship being forbidden.

[shaakyhaands]

pretty real shit on this poster at our doctor’s office actually

[shaakyhaands]

wake up babe, crowley and aziraphale have been elected best ship of 2023 on tumblr

[shaakyhaands]

We need more scary infinite variants of manmade environments like the Infinite IKEA or the Backrooms.

May I suggest, The Lot: