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I used to be so afraid to leave the house after dark. When I was out and about at night I would never be without at least one friend to accompany me. But by now...I am slowly getting more comfortable. Yes, I prefer to at least talk to a friend on the phone while out and about, but no longer do I feel actively in danger when walking the streets later in the day.

I cannot quite explain how I reached this point. Maybe because I spent a good deal of time traveling alone last year or because train delays often led to me arriving in the middle of the night? Perhaps it is due to regular late shifts that require me to remain outside of the comfort of my home for a prolonged amount of time?

There are still moments in which I do not feel safe at all – when I visit acquaintances in rural areas and go home alone from there for example – you can count on me clinging to my pocket knife in my pocket.

But as a person that likes taking random walks and whose favorite time of day is in the evening, it is great to finally be able to enjoy the general vibe ever so often.

#watching the sun set #night #aesthetic #for your own safety don't creep up on me #after dark #traveling alone #f**k the train delays though #same goes for late shifts #safety first kids tm

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For years my family has told me that I am just not made for children. I think, at some point, I started agreeing with them.

I tend to not match the way the others voice stuff for the littles around: no pitching up my voice, no "funny noises", and no trying to make every little thing exciting.

Somehow, I have a feeling that my mother was the same way. Her surroundings were surprised when she first voiced an interest in being a mother at all. To others she comes across a bit robotic, which is probably why everyone just assumed she did not have the emotional capacity. Whenever I asked questions when I was younger she painstakingly explained every detail (she lists this as the number one reason why her patience is so thin nowadays) and spoke with me in her usual, adult vocabulary. Sure, I seemed like an odd child because the words I used were a bit...advanced, but, as far as I can tell, I turned out fine.

Even though I am told that I probably should not have kids, I like to think that I do fairly well around them. For example: I apparently recently surprised some family members of mine when they found the littles already in bed by the time they got around to getting them there themselves. Their view on this matter seems to have changed ever so slightly since then.

#family #children #need tips from socially apt people #awkward people seem to be at a disadvantage here #prejudice #just because you are quiet now does not mean i will forget that you were screaming your head off five minutes ago #Spotify

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Anyone else learn languages passively by watching shows in various foreign languages and then get confused about how they can essentially just deliver one liners in said languages in a conversation they do not understand?

Yes, hello. I need some help convincing myself that I do indeed not have the time to invest in learning them as well. Especially since my broke self does not intend on visiting these countries anytime soon.

#I failed to do so with Japanese but I sure as hell will not with these new ones #anime #foreign films #dramas #no I do not need my friends also trying to teach me their languages guys I cannot handle more than...(?) at once #fml #you bilingual f**ks are pathetic google translate better get all the credit #languages

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I am in love.

For some reason Pinterest keeps on suggesting aesthetically pleasing movie posters to me. At some point there was one called "Chungking Express" that caught my eye while I was practising sketching. Anyways! Skip to about two months later: I am visiting extended family and we are in the middle of deciding what to watch.

Guys, either this movie or the makers are my new favorite. Or both.

#wong kar-wai #Do you like pineapple? #in the mood for love is next #chungking express

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It is weird to watch most of the people you know and grew up with move to other cities and countries. Personally, I never really had established text based contact with them since we saw each other pretty much every day. But now, that will be necessary to maintain those relationships.

I do not know whether I am up to that task.

#relationships #adulthood #new developments #goodbye everybody I've got to go #Spotify

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I have been part of far too many "I want to be a musician"-moments, I am hoping this will be my last.

In elementary school we were three, deciding on what we wanted to do when not in class. Only one of them ever played an instrument.

In middle school I started writing songs, this I have kept at, but I only ever performed three of them.

In high school a friend brought up the idea to start a band with two others. I still think I would not have been able to sing Chop Suey.

Now, we are two, sitting in different timezones, planning on how to make music with our less than mediocre editing skills.

#let's start a band tm #music #dreams #not metal enough #sorry #learning ukulele now though #online friendships #need serious help with that backing track

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Online friendships are some of the most complicated relationships you will ever have. Change my mind.

My reasoning? You could spend hours on end with each other and still easily drift apart in a matter of days. Meeting in real life can cause the vibe to change, not always for the better. And oddly enough...they can also carry a ton of drama in a group setting. I feel like they are a bit of a double edged sword: your own insecurities become more visible to you, but you also learn how to deal with most of them.

#online friendships #toxicity #irl meetings be like #isolation #watch out for the creepers <3 #Spotify

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Question: How hard do you stare when you see someone you think is cute on the train or otherwise? And what do you do when they catch you looking? Do you flash a smile? When some stranger smiles at you in a situation like this, does it make you uncomfortable or do you tend to think that person is just being friendly?

#introversion #travel problems #asking for a friend #need tips from socially apt people #Spotify

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I officially dislike Instagram's Explore page. Traveling through cities, having trouble meeting new people because of this, and when I open my socials, I get to see bomb-ass people hanging with their bomb-ass friends on the other end of the world.

Do not get me started on groups IRL. They are the bane of my existence at the moment.

They all just make me miss my friends.

#introversion #isolation #travel problems #fomo i guess #anyone know how to connect in the city? #need tips from socially apt people #Spotify