#// finally redoing this since he's in a new group now

[taeyongfmd]

headcanon: vocals

word count: 550 words

ash wasn’t vocally trained until he became a trainee, though he did do his fair share of casual singing as a kid, enough to have a basic understanding of his instrument when he auditioned for dimensions. he’d been singing along to songs as he played them on guitar or piano for years at that point and his overall musical background also lent him to a very good sense of pitch and musicality. these factors helped him to be good enough during his audition phase and about one week of training he got before being put into the main vocal position of polaris for their competition show.

he went through a few different vocal coaches during his trainee and rookie days. his first ever vocal coach was someone whose style didn’t match his own all that well, which played a part in his low confidence during early days of training. with his first vocal coach especially, he was more inclined to try to fit what they wanted from him to go along with the crowd and fit in, but after he had gone through a few more vocal coaches and found one that was a better match with the style he felt more natural in, he grew in confidence in his voice again.

ash still takes vocal lessons, in theory. whether he actually goes with any regularity is very varying and in recent years, he’s tended to only take a few lessons a year, most of which are over video call while he’s abroad touring. ash understands the importance of a vocal coach, but he doesn’t have much motivation to do anything other than lock himself in the studio a lot of the time, and the past few years have been incredibly tumultuous personally for him. 

his range is f♯2 to b♭5 with a supported range of C3/C♯3 - G♯4 - E♭5/E5 and he’s most comfortable in the area of the third and early fourth octaves.

strengths that listeners tend to point out are his comfort in his own voice, his musicality, and his pitch. he comes off as very confident of his voice and aware of his abilities and his limits when he sings. he also has a very good sense of pitch, to the point it’s been spread around as fact that he has absolute (”perfect”) pitch, but he just has a very strong sense of relative pitch thanks to years as a musician. another strength he owes to his many years in music is his musicality, although his musicality is also something he just very innately has. his musicality, and his ability to really convey a song’s emotions (mostly in the case of those he wrote or really connects to) tends to shine through as his defining strength as a vocalist.

his vocal coach sort of hates the little vocal fry / rasp he likes to do when singing his solo music 

his tone is most often described as ‘dark honey’, sweet and indulgent, but also emotional and seductive. regardless of genre or song, his tone remains. he’s not someone who really changes his voice to match the songs he sings, instead making the song fit his voice instead.

here are some example links of what his vocals are like (to me!.gif): dean, sam kim, jooyoung, gemini, junny

#* | headcanon. #// finally redoing this since he's in a new group now #// months after the fact lmao

[chelseeebe]

falling. | part 3. to maneater.

summary: steve harrington was the first boy you’d opened up to. so why can’t you stop fucking it up?

c/w: billy is in this and there’s mentions of sexual assault and non-consensual touching so read with caution!

it’s finally done!!!!! i don’t even think i like this but it’s here!!! tumblr deleted a whole chunk of writing so had to redo some parts n ik they aren’t as good as the original <\3 also falling - harry styles especially the first verse rlly got me going for this one.

read part one here. | read part two here.

there had been absolutely no contact with steve. he couldn’t even look at you.

now being shunned from sitting on the table your two groups had taken over, jessica very kindly tells you, ‘it’s probably better if you don’t come, y’know.. just until steve cools down.’

‘right.. guess i’ll see you later then,’ you slink out of the cafeteria, choosing to retreat to your car instead, away from everyone.

to be honest, you weren’t keen on sitting opposite steve anyway. the way his eyes looked at you, all sad and disappointed.

on the friday, you’re sat in your car, willing the next two hours of school to hurry up when your passenger door swings open and a large body collapses into the seat.

‘what the fuck are you doing?’

‘you looked lonely, thought i’d give you some company,’ billy states, throwing his legs on the dashboard.

you shoo his feet off, ‘i was fine on my own, actually.’

‘darling, i’ve seen you sat here every day this week, your boyfriend still mad at you?’ he smirks over at you.

‘he’s not my boyfriend, never has been, but yeah, no thanks to you,’ you hiss, though you can’t solely blame him.

‘you really were wasted, huh? don’t remember what happened after?’ he lights a cigarette, rolling down the window.

‘well no, but i’ve been told.. steve couldn’t wait to throw it in my face, trust me,’ you state, looking over at the curly haired boy.

‘why do you give a shit what he thinks? never had you down as someone that cared what little pretty boys like harrington think of you,’ he takes a drag.

billy was attractive, not in a steve harrington kinda way, more rugged and much less clean-cut.

you reach over and grab the cigarette from him, taking a long drag before handing it back.

‘i don’t,’ you lie, ‘could not care less.’

‘that’s why you’re hiding in your car is it, sweetheart?’ he chuckles, eyes narrowing at you.

‘just fuck off, billy,’ you roll your eyes, unprepared for his home-truths.

he laughs, ‘n leave you all alone? you sure you want that?'

even though it was billy, you had appreciated not being alone at lunch. your friend's hadn't exactly shunned you, but had decided that during lunch they'd rather preserve the peace with their new-found friendship with steve and his group.

'you can stay, as long as you shut up and don't mention steve again,' you fold your arms over your chest, twisting your body to look at him.

'i'm not making any promises,' he flicks the butt of the cigarrette out of the window, turning back to face you.

'there's a party tomorrow, i'll pick you up at eight,' he winks.

in all honesty a party was a welcome distraction to everything at the moment, though billy would not be your usual choice of friend but at this point you weren't left with much choice.

then there's a twinge of guilt in your stomach, thinking of steve and how a party and billy had actually been the sole reason steve now wasn’t speaking to you.

he was the first guy you’d let get that close since moving to hawkins a few years back. an inexplicable feeling bubbles in your stomach as you think back to your date. how you had felt so comfortable with him, telling him things not even your friends had gotten out of you.

and suddenly that awful impulsive urge rises from your stomach. the one that only showed itself when things were becoming too serious with someone.

so fuck it.

you spent the whole of the lunch break with billy, in your car. you hadn't ever pictured your friday to go this way, but you were just happy that someone was actually speaking to you.

you'd neglected to notice steve, who had finished basketball practice, standing just a few metres from your car, glaring at the pair of you sat talking in your car. a frown planted firmly on his face, utter disbelief at how you could even be sat with him after that damned party.

tommy notices steve staring, searching for the cause of his scowl, landing on your car. he swings his arm over his friends shoulder in sympathy.

'bro.. c'mon, let's just go,' he tugs steve away and back into the school.

-

billy is late, obviously.

he wasn’t like steve, ready and waiting for you before you’d even finished getting ready.

you turn your wrist to look at your watch.

8:11pm

you were about to head back inside when you hear the loud car engine pull onto your street, wheels screeching to a halt.

billy grins at you from the window, you roll your eyes and get into the car.

‘you’re late, lucky i was nice enough to wait,’ you pull your skirt down, as it had ridden up past your thighs. not unnoticed by billy.

‘sorry darlin’, looking good though,’ he eyes up your thighs.

‘just drive, i need a fucking drink,’ you stare, flipping him the middle finger.

he chuckles, speeding off down the street.

-

you’d told yourself that there was absolutely no way you were getting as wasted as last time. but here you were, head spinning as you stumble up to the stairs and into the bathroom.

billy follows closely behind, pushing his way into the bathroom, ‘not tapping out, are ya doll face?’

‘no, i’m fine.. just need a minute,’ you lean your hands on the counter, looking at your blurry reflection in the mirror.

billy presses himself against your back, hands finding your waist as you watch him grin in the mirror.

you spin your body round to face him, placing a hand on his chest to push him back, ‘i’m not fucking you billy,’ shaking your head.

‘oh c’mon, i’ve been waiting all night for this darlin’,’ his fingers begin to slide up your thigh, disappearing under your skirt.

‘no billy, i’m not doing that,’ you place your hand on his wrist, trying to move his hand.

his expression hardens as he leans his face closer to yours, his fingers now gripping your jaw, ‘you’re joking.. everyone knows what a little slut you are, what’s the problem? don’t tell me it’s harrington.’

his fingers tear a hole in your tights, latching onto the hem of your underwear and you freeze.

your eyes squeeze shut, ‘i just don’t want to have sex with you.. get off of me,’ your voice shakes.

he runs his thumb over your bottom lip before letting go, backing away from the counter, ‘whatever, you’re a little cock-tease,’ he walks out of the bathroom, slamming the door so hard the walls shake.

you sigh, wiping away the tears that had slipped out and rolled down your cheek.

you’d yet again made a gigantic mess of everything.

now left stranded at some random party, god knows where.

so, you do the sensible thing and walk down the stairs and out of the house, stumbling down the street as you pass the party goers.

you walk and walk, until you end up on the familiar street.

you don’t really know what you’re doing until you’re at the door, boots in hand as your knuckles wrap against the wood.

there were now holes in your tights, black mascara smudged down your cheeks and the red lipstick you’d chosen now anywhere but your lips.

you glance at the time on your watch

3:32am.

it had taken you an hour to even get here.

the door swings open and a shirtless steve stands in the doorway, hair sticking up every which way.

‘y/n? why are y- what happened?’ his tone becoming concerned as he notices your disheveled appearance and the leather boots in your hand.

you shrug, swallowing the lump in your throat, ‘i didn’t know where else to go..’ the lump rises as a cry escapes your mouth.

his arms are around your body, pulling you into his chest, before you can say another word.

you cry as he pulls you into the house, running his hand down your back. you can only cling onto him, only crying harder because you didn’t deserve this kindness from him.

‘hey.. what happened?’ he questions, pulling away to make you look up at him.

‘i was.. at a party and- and billy..’ you’re interrupted with a sob, unable to finish the sentence.

his eyes go from soft to filled with anger at the mention of his name.

‘what? what did he do?’ he spits, with the state of you it couldn’t have been good.

‘he just- he tried to touch me and.. and i said no and-,’ you’re interrupted by a sob, unable to even tell steve.

you can feel his body stiffen, ‘he didn’t… did he?’

shaking your head, you swallow attempting to conceal your cries, ‘no.. he just.. touched me.. it’s my fault, i shouldn’t have even gone..’

‘no, no it’s not at all.. c’mon let’s get you cleaned up,’ he pulls his body from yours, now taking your hand and walking you up his stairs.

the second time he’d come to your drunken rescue. you felt awful for relying on him so much.

but truthfully, steve would rather know that you’re safe with him than out there. no matter what had happened between you.

he gently wipes the remains of your makeup off with his moms face wipes, offering you the spare toothbrush and even turning around as you change into yet another one of his t-shirts, this time foregoing the sweatpants.

‘got my own collection going on,’ you laugh weakly, sitting on the edge of his bed.

he exhales, ‘s’pose you do.. they look better on you anyway,’ he stands in the doorway, ready to go to the guest bedroom.

‘can you.. stay in here.. only if you want to,’ you whisper, pulling back the duvet for him.

he walks over to the bed, ‘of course i want to.. whether i should is another story,’ he climbs into the bed, laying back.

‘you should,’ you lean your head back onto the pillow, staring at the cream coloured ceiling.

steve flicks the lamp off, turning on his side to go to sleep.

you’re sure he’s asleep before you let out the first silent cry, hand held over your mouth.

your shoulders shake as you sniffle, slightly louder than intended.

and then you feel steve’s arm snake around your waist, pulling you into his chest.

‘i’m sorry.. i thought you were asleep..’ you mumble.

‘no.. can’t sleep,’ he grumbles in response, still holding onto your waist.

you turn your body to face his, looking up at his shadowy face, admiring the way the moon cascaded over his features. you can just about make out his eyes staring back into yours.

‘me too..’

the eye contact is heavy, and you’re half tempted to reach up and kiss him.

steve clearly has the same thought, his lips colliding with yours with his free hand now cupping your face.

but this kiss is different, there’s no lust, no desire behind it. not like before. this kiss was soft, full of warmth and emotion.

he pulls back, searching for your eyes in the darkness, ‘c’mon you need to sleep.’

you nod slightly, resting your head on his chest and exhaling deeply.

his fingers trace patterns into your shoulder, chin resting on the top of your head.

eventually your breathing becomes heavy on his chest as you drift off to sleep.

his fingers slide through your hair with his other arm wrapped tightly around your shoulders, holding you close to his body.

he whispers into your hair, ‘you’re killing me here..’

eventually falling asleep, nuzzled into your hair.

-

it's noon before you wake up, steve's arm around your waist as he snores lightly.

he looked so peaceful when he was asleep, the usual furrow of his brow replaced with an undisturbed, stillness to his face.

you smile at the image, not wanting to wake him but desperately needing the bathroom.

you manoeuvre your body out of his grasp and tiptoe to the bathroom.

when you come back to the room steve is awake, sat up against his headboard.

‘i thought.. i thought you’d snuck off again,’ he exhales, running his hand through his hair.

you shake your head, ‘not this time,’ sitting at the end of the bed.

‘what happened last night?’ he asks, not wanting to press too much.

you sigh, looking down at your hands, ‘he.. he touched me.. i said no but he.. just-,’ you stop yourself.

steve reaches over, placing his hand over yours for reassurance.

‘he grabbed me.. called me a slut and a tease- i don’t wanna talk about it..’

‘you should go to the police, obviously if you want to.. but he shouldn’t get away with that,’ he squeezes you hand, his tone now full of disgust.

‘no, i’m not.. it’s fine- i’m fine,’ you look up at him, eyes glossy with tears.

‘you do-,’ he sighs, exasperated, ‘okay, it’s your choice.. but i’m just telling you now that i am going to kill him.’

you chuckle through the tears, ‘you couldn’t kill a fly.’

‘hey! i could and i have,’ he feigns offence.

you groan, using steve’s blanket to wipe away your tears.

‘are you okay?’ he questions quietly.

you nod, ‘i’m fine.. are you okay?’

‘why would i not be?’

‘because.. of me,’ you shrug, ‘what i did..’

he squeezes your hand, ‘it doesn’t matter.. you were right, you aren’t my girlfriend.. i can’t expect you to act like it,’ he sighs; slightly frowning.

his eyes are sad, gazing down at you.

‘it was still shitty.. i’m really sorry steve.. i’m trying to be a different person, better, but it’s hard..’

he exhales, ‘look.. we don’t need to speak about this now..’

you nod, appreciating his kindness. even if you were totally undeserving.

‘c’mon, i’ll take you home,’ he runs his thumb over your hand before standing from the bed.

you’re stood at his door when he picks up the skirt you’d worn last night. it had been a favourite but now you couldn’t even stand to look at it.

‘burn it,’ you say, disgusted at the sight of the skirt.

it goes unnoticed when steve grits his teeth, seething at how billy’s actions had made you feel so little. a shell of the you he knew.

-

you hesitate going into the cafeteria. there was still an air of uncertainty around you and steve despite you turning up on his doorstep sunday morning.

you notice the group of students now stood at the window, jeering and gasping at some commotion outside.

before you can decide whether to join them, jessica sprints up to you, 'you need to come, now,' pulling your arm towards the door to the forecourt.

'what? what's going on?' you query, stumbling as she drags you along.

'it's steve..,' she pants, breathless as she'd had to sprint to find you.

your eyes immediately land on the group of high-schoolers, crowded around the bustle you'd noticed from the window.

pushing through the crowd you spot steve squared up to billy, his hand shoving his backwards, billy tumbling back.

'fucking creep,' steve spits, stepping up once again.

'what's the problem? did i touch your little girlfriend? that little slut wanted it,' billy bites back, returning the shove to steve only a little harder.

you bite the inside of your cheek, guilty that you were the reason for the fight. his words sting, memories of the spiteful words he had spat at you in the bathroom flooding back.

steve lunges for the boy, landing a particularly hard punch to his cheek sending billy backwards towards the crowd.

billy clutches his cheek, a smile on his lips at the utter disbelief of steve's actions.

the denim clad boy tackles steve to the ground, pulling his arm back to sock him in the face, repeatedly, each hit harder than the last.

you gasp, elbowing the boys in front of you out of the way and stepping up towards billy, you grab onto his jacket in an attempt to stop him.

'fucking stop it!' you screech, pulling his arm back and away from steve.

billy pushes you backwards, falling to the floor as the crowd let out a collective 'ooh'.

fortunately for steve, ms. kelly gets into the middle of the circle as one of the gym teachers restrains billy.

you rush over to steve, his face now bruised and bloody. you cradle his head in your arms, trying to clean off some of the blood to assess how badly he was hurt.

he looks up at you, eyes squinting at the bright light, 'i'm sorry.. he deserved it though.'

you shake your head, though you can't hide the smile on your face, ‘we could've slashed his tyres or something, now look at you.'

eventually, you alongside one of his teammates take him inside, his arm resting on your shoulder.

you press the ice pack to his face, shuffling in the uncomfortable office chairs while you wait for the principle to finish speaking to billy.

'i think you're a fucking idiot for doing that.. but i wanted to thank you.. for defending me n' that..'

he turns to face you, 'oh that? wasn't for you.. i just really really wanted to get beat up,' he winces at his split lip as he smiles.

'it was kinda hot.. y'know the ten seconds before he beat the shit out of you,' you giggle. it was true, angry steve was hot, just not when he was angry at you.

your head jolts to the open door, as billy saunters out. steve had got a pretty good hit in, with billy's cheek now adorned with a new blue bruise.

he glares at the two of you, his lip snarling as if to say something but he restrains himself.

‘mr. harrington,’ mr. davis calls, gesturing towards his office.

you both stand at the same time, ‘you can stay here miss. (y/l/n),’ the principle nods.

‘no, i’m coming,’ you walk into the office and take a seat before steve.

mr. davis is shocked at your gumption, beginning his spiel about fighting and how it’s unacceptable in the school environment.

‘so unfortunately, i’ve got no choice but to suspend you-,’

‘no,’ you cut him off, ‘that’s not fair, it’s my fault he was even fighting, so you can either suspend both of us or neither of us,’ you cross your arms, staring at your principal.

‘well.. now we can’t do that.. school policy states that we need to punish anyone fighting,’ david states, leaning forward on his desk.

‘so suspend me too.’

steve gawps at you, mouth open at your brave actions, utterly speechless.

‘i don’t think that would be wise miss (y/l/n), it’s a one week suspension,’ he attempts to persuade you to concede.

you shrug, ‘i don’t care.’

‘okay.. well.. then you’re both suspended, i’ll be in contact with both of your parents.. i expect you back, not fighting, next monday,’ your principal sighs.

you stand up and exit the room, stone-faced as you barrel out of the school.

steve jogs to catch up with you, ‘wait.. wait, why the fuck did you do that?’ his fingers curl around your wrist.

‘because it’s my fault you were even fighting.. only fair that i take some of the blame,’ you turn to him only inches away from his swollen face.

a laugh erupts from his throat at the sheer absurdity of it all. it’s contagious as you burst out laughing with him.

‘we look crazy..’ you mutter, noticing the stares from nosy students out of the classroom windows.

‘you are crazy,’ he says, fingers still wrapped around your wrist.

‘i’m not the one throwing punches at someone twice my size,’ you state, grinning at him.

he scoffs, ‘twice? i don’t think so.’

you shake your head, ‘let’s get out of this shit hole, you’ve just bagged me a week off.. i’m not wasting that.’

you walk over to your car, looking back at steve stood gawping at you.

‘i.. i drove so i’ll uh- see ya,’ he begins to walk to his car, fumbling in his pockets for his keys.

‘are you sure you’re alright to drive? your eye’s pretty fucked..’ you were just desperate to not let him walk away once again.

‘yeah.. this is not my first time being beaten up, believe it or not,’ he half jokes, wobbling over to his car.

‘well.. uh, do you wanna do something later? i think i owe you for defending my honour,’ you call after him.

he turns to look at you, ‘okay, dinner is definitely on you though.’

‘i’ll even come and pick you up.. six, so you better be ready,’ you open the car door, sliding into the seat.

you both drive home grinning at your nondate-date.

-

you’d never been so nervous, stomach doing flips at the thought of seeing him.

you pull up on his drive, giving your outfit a once over before sounding the horn. you’d opted for more casual wear, a difference to the usual short skirts and revealing tops steve normally saw you in.

he appears at the door before limping over to your car. he groans as he attempts to sit in the car, his bruises now visible on his face.

‘are you sure you’re okay to go out?’ you question, wincing at his cut hands.

‘yeah.. i’m fine.. just a bit sore,’ he mumbles.

‘mm, you look it, c‘mon.. we can just order pizza and watch a movie, it’s okay,’ you hop out and walk around the passenger side, helping him out of your car.

he wraps his arm around your waist, supporting himself with your body, ‘you could’ve said this before i dragged myself all the way over here,’ he jokes.

‘steve, i’ll fucking drop you.’

you help him into the house, placing him down on the sofa before looking around at the large house.

you’d never really seen it through sober eyes, suddenly noticing the childhood photos dotted around.

‘are your parents not home?’ you question, the quiet echoed around the house.

‘nah.. they never are,’ he shrugs, there’s a certain sadness to his voice as he settles into the cushions.

‘oh.. at least they don’t know that you’re suspended i guess..’ you try to spin it positively but you can tell just how hurt he is.

‘yeah.. i guess..’

you sit down on the couch next to him, grabbing the phone from the table and passing it to him.

‘c’mon.. it’s my treat so get whatever you want,’ you cross your legs up onto the couch, watching him on the phone. completely enamoured with his every little move.

-

there’s some action film on the tv, not your first choice obviously.

your knees are tucked into your chest as steve leans against you, head on your shoulder. you honestly weren’t even sure he was still awake.

‘i’m really sorry, steve,’ it comes out in barely a whisper.

you hear him sigh, ‘i know.. it’s okay,’ he lifts his head off of your shoulder, now looking at you.

‘no, steve.. it’s not okay.. i hurt you and that’s not okay..’ you can’t bare to look at him, into his sad, doe eyes, instead playing with the hem on your jeans.

‘it is.. im telling you that it is.. you aren’t my girlfriend and..’ he exhales, ‘it’s okay that you don’t want to be.. i shouldn’t have just expected it from you..’

you’re still picking at the loose thread on your jeans, ‘but i do.. i do want that.. i just- there’s something wrong with me and i just can’t help it, i fuck everything up.. i hurt people..’ you shake your head, quickly wiping away the tear that had slipped out.

being so vulnerable with him made you sick to your stomach. the first person in a long time to tap into this part of you, the side you had buried deep down.

he swallows before putting his hand on your knee, ‘you haven’t.. fucked anything up, i’m still here aren’t i?

you’re brave enough to slowly look up at him through sodden eyelashes, blinking at his words.

‘you know.. i’ve been begging to hear you say that for so long..’ he breathes, inching closer to your face.

‘i don’t wanna hurt you..’ you murmur, his hand cupping your cheek as he wipes your damp cheek.

he leans forward, placing his lips on your yours. the kiss is similar to the one you’d shared in his bed on sunday morning, soft with no ulterior motives. affectionate and gentle, something you hadn’t felt in a long time.

he pulls away, pressing his forehead to yours as his thumb still tracing your cheek, ‘then don’t.’

you nod, placing your hand on top of his before kissing his lips again. carefully placing your other hand on his bruised cheek, sure to be gentle with him.

‘does this mean you’re my girlfriend?’ he mumbles into the kiss.

you laugh against his lips, ‘if you want me to be..’

he pulls back to look at you, ‘i want nothing more,’ the corners of his mouth twitch into a smile.

‘then i’m yours.’

#steve harrington #steve harrington x you #steve stranger things #steve harrington x reader #steve harrington angst #steve harrington x y/n #stranger things x you #steve harrington fic #steve harrington fanfic #steve harrington fluff #stranger things x reader

[cloudbersoo]

easy for you to say｜sung hanbin

synopsis: what happens when bloom dance academy's golden boy sung hanbin needs a new duet partner and y/n is the only one available? 

or; will y/n be able to fall in love with dance again? perhaps they'll fall for someone in the process.

tags: sung hanbin x gn!reader, dancer au, fluff, attempt at angst, insecure reader, miscommunication, happy ending, featuring: zb1 matthew and jiwoong, twice momo, exo kai, itzy yeji, ryujin and chaeryeong!!

word count: 5.4k

a/n: this whole fic was inspired by the ‘i like that’ dance hanbin recreated on weekly idol. i’ve never been more attracted to a man in my life, so here is a very self indulgent fic i wrote!! also this is barely proofread, so sorry for any grammar mistakes! hihi enjoy

my playlist while writing: easy for you to say & bleach by 5sos, sugarcoat (natty solo) by kiss of life, thanks to by woodz, blooming day by exo-cbx, anywhere but home by seulgi

i. that’s not good

every dancer has their bad days. but when those bad days turn into weeks and weeks turn into months, suddenly your entire dance season has been nothing but awful. that’s how your previous season went, and this year hasn’t been any different either. you weren’t chosen for any of the small groups this year for any competition. you didn’t even dare to dream of a solo, even when you had one just a few years ago.

you used to be at the top, one of the coaches favourites. you’ve danced at bloom dance academy since you were three, and had gained a good reputation at the studio over the years. though, now that seems so far in the past. you were in a deep slump, one that you couldn’t get out of no matter how much you practiced. you think you’d do anything to love dancing again the way you used to. 

you were currently at the studio, waiting for the full group rehearsal to start, while one of the small groups was going over their dance with coach momo. you were sitting in a corner alone, while others were socialising or going through other dances on their own. your eyes were completely fixated on one particular dancer, one that probably made you more insecure than any other – sung hanbin.

hanbin was basically your complete opposite. he only started dancing in middle school, and joined bloom dance academy only last season. everyone around him loved him, and rightfully so, as hanbin was truly amazing. his body control and facial expressions were something you could only dream of right now. his skills didn’t come out of nowhere though, everyone knew how hard he worked. and unlike you, his hard work paid off.

looking at hanbin made you feel horrible about yourself, but you couldn’t look away. he was so mesmerising to you, the way he carried himself through choreography, and how he helped those around him. you were in too deep thought to notice a couple of your teammates approaching you. it took for one of them to speak for you to finally notice your friends. “y/n, did you hear about yeji?” your teammate matthew asked you as he sat down next to you. 

“no i haven’t, did something happen?” you responded, finally taking your eyes off of hanbin. you noticed besides matthew, chaeryeong and ryujin had approached you. “she injured her knee really badly at practice yesterday, she’s still at the doctors, they’re trying to figure out what’s wrong” chaeryeong opened up, clearly worried for her friend. injuries at this point of the season were the worst, but they happen every time. last year jiwoong dislocated his elbow a week before competition and all formations had to be redone.

“that doesn’t sound too good” you said, taking a sip from your water bottle. yeji won’t recover in time for the competition in four weeks, you assumed. not only will you have to redo all the formations for the full group performance and for her small group, your team will need a new female soloist and a duet partner for hanbin as well. “yeah, she’s out” ryujin confirmed your suspicions. “momo asked me for the solo, but i don’t think i can do it” she continued, brushing her hand through her hair. 

“i feel so bad for yeji, but at least there's a little more time than last year” matthew said in an attempt to lighten the mood. his comment did get a few chuckles out of you. 

after a moment of silence, ryujin spoke once again. “how about you y/n? could you do the solo?” ryujin asked a question that almost made you laugh. “coach would never even consider me, and… i don’t even have anything ready” you replied lowering your head in shame. it was true though, you were probably the last person momo would consider as yeji’s replacement for anything.

“okay guys! let’s start going over the new formations!” your coach declared, clapping her hands to get the whole room's attention.

ii. y/n coming to the rescue!

you were exhausted, just like everyone else in the room. your coach had said “one more time” at least ten times tonight, but finally practice had officially come to an end. today’s rehearsal had gladly eased most people's minds from yeji’s injury. however, you could only worry about your own performance, as today’s practice had barely helped you improve at all. you were packing your stuff, as you heard your coach calling your name. “hey y/n, could i talk to you for a second?” momo asked.

your mind could only think of the worst. momo was going to tell you that you’re cut from the full group completely, because you can’t get your shit together. it made sense, today’s new formations were going to look better with one less dancer, and obviously you were the first in line to go. you tried to hide your nervousness, answering her with a hum. you stuffed the last of your things into your bag and walked to your coach. “yeah, is this about the full group?” you went straight to the point.

“actually no” she started, sitting down on a chair. you were relieved, but only partly, as you had no idea where the conversation was going. “it’s about yeji’s and hanbin’s duet” momo continued, your coach visibly stressed. you could only imagine what had been going through her head the past 24 hours since yeji’s injury. she let out a loud sigh. “y/n i know you’ve had quite rough year, but i think it could be a great challenge for you”

“what do you mean? sorry coach, i’m not following” you questioned. she couldn't possibly be offering you a spot in a duet, let alone one with hanbin.

“you should do the duet with hanbin, i think you could handle it” momo said hopefully. she took your hands into hers, looking at you with pleading eyes. it was almost working, but something in you couldn't agree to it. you couldn’t possibly handle the duet, not when someone else could do a much better job than you. “i don’t know momo…” you responded.

“hanbin! please convince her to do the duet with you” momo suddenly said, her eyes leaving yours. while your talk with the coach, you had failed to notice the presence of hanbin behind you. you freed yourself from momo’s hold as you turned around to see the boy. “i just think someone else would be a much better match for the duet, i’ve seen it myself” you tried to reason.

“no! i think you’d be perfect!” hanbin said, which felt like an exaggeration to you. truthfully, you’d love to do a duet with someone so amazing as hanbin, you would be dumb not to, but your insecurities were holding you back. the duet was difficult, and with the little time you had, you weren’t sure if you could pick it up. few years ago it would’ve been easy, but now you weren’t so sure. “c’mon y/n, i need you” he begged. 

“you don’t have any other dances besides the full group, so you’ll have enough time to rehearse” momo added. you looked at both of them, the two of them looking at you hopefully. while you still didn't quite understand why they were so determined to get you to do the duet, you were beginning to yield to them.

“well, when would we start then?” you asked carefully. your words made both of them squeal out of joy. hanbin wrapped his hands around you and squished you into a hug. “thank you thank you thank you” he rejoiced, spinning you around in the air. you weren’t sure if this was going to work, but having people who believed in you definitely helped.

iii. cries and confessions

the duet was not going well, at least not as well as it should be at this point. you had rehearsed for almost a week with hanbin, and while you had picked up some of the choreography, most of it was still not clicking for you. hanbin had been more than patient with you, but his patience wasn’t getting you that far.

you groaned out of frustration for the thirtieth time in the past hour. you were having difficulty with your footwork for a fast part in the choreography, and no matter how many times hanbin went slowly over it, you were not getting the timing right. “y/n it’s okay, you’ll get it eventually” he tried comforting you once again. you sighed, wiping the sweat off your forehead. “no hanbin, i’m not getting it” you snapped back, your words coming out much harsher than you intended. “i’m sorry, i just- i hate that i can’t seem to get anything right” you apologised, covering your face with your hands out of embarrassment. 

“do you wanna talk about it?” he asked carefully. you’ve been asked this question many times over the past two years. your teammates, momo, your parents, even the studio head, jongin had asked you if you needed to talk about whatever mental block you were going through. but you never did, because there wasn’t anything to talk about, at least that’s how you felt, and you told hanbin that. “you sure? i mean there’s clearly something going on… i get it if you don’t want to talk to me about it, but i’m here for you if you need me” he responded to you.

“what would you even know? you joined the studio after my good days” you mumbled, choosing to sit down onto the dance floor, not expecting hanbin to hear you. the boy sat down next to you, sitting close to you, your shoulders almost touching. the close proximity shouldn’t have made your heart race the way it did, at least not after dancing so close to each other for hours to an end for the past week.

“i saw your solo couple years ago at a competition, and i thought you were amazing” he confessed. hanbin was looking at you delicately, his words filled with sincerity. you never thought someone so skilled and awesome dancer like hanbin would ever say something like that to you. “you’re pretty much the reason i'm here, at bloom” he continued, his words making you speechless. “i mean, if the studio had someone as cool as you, the teachers must be something too” hanbin kept rambling, getting slightly shy over his confession, his cheeks flushed. 

hanbin’s confession made you feel appreciated and sad at the same time. your eyesight was getting blurry from the tears that were about to break through. “well, that was me few years ago” you started, trying your hardest not to start crying in front of him. you locked eyes with him and he was looking at you with sorrowness. “and this is me now, someone that can barely keep up with everyone” your voice cracked, tears finally sliding down your cheeks. 

hanbin didn’t say anything after that. he wrapped his hand around shoulders, lowering your head to rest on his chest. he just held you as you sobbed. it was slightly uncomfortable, the two of you were still sweaty from practice, but you couldn’t care about that for now. you were starting to calm down as hanbin stroked your arm up and down. you brought your hands to wipe out your tears, apologising to the boy for drenching his shirt even more. “i’m just wasting our time by crying like this” you said.

“it’s okay y/n, you know, sometimes letting your emotions out can help you to move on” hanbin claimed, smiling softly at you. letting go of your shoulder, he brushed some of your hair behind your ear. “should we end practice for today? i could drive you home if you’d like” the boy suggested.

“i think i’d rather walk and cool down a little, but thanks” you gave hanbin a weak smile and started getting up. he seemed to take your word, as he got up as well and started cleaning up the practice room with you. the room was filled with comfortable silence, and you were glad you had someone like hanbin to rely on.

iv. nothing happened!

after your heart to heart with hanbin, rehearsals had started to go much smoother. some days were better than others, but at least you weren’t pouring out your frustration onto him. aside from a few lifts, you two had finished the whole choreography, and you felt good about it. even momo was pleased with your work, after you had shown her your progress. while the duet was still far from perfect, you and hanbin were confident you could do well at the competition. 

hanbin had also become more friendly with you over the past few weeks. he always greeted you with a hug, asked how you were doing, and kept insisting on driving you home after you were done, which was something you could no longer deny. he’d come up to you during practice if he ever noticed you frustrated, cheering you up and giving you much needed advice, while also offering to refill your water bottle. thanks to hanbin, you were slowly starting to enjoy dance again, and you think you’ll be forever grateful to him for that.

it was late friday night, only you and hanbin were left at the studio. hanbin had convinced you to stay for another hour to practice one of the lifts for your duet. while you thought it would be safer to practice with momo around, hanbin assured you he wouldn’t let you get hurt. so there you were, forty minutes later, probably at your hundred attempt of the lift. you had never been the best at any tricks or lifts, and at this point you didn’t think you'd ever quite get them.

however, hanbin was determined to get the lift right before you went home. “it’s not that hard y/n” he said, his hands on both sides of your hips. there was no hint of impatience in his voice, while he looked at you with such care. “easy for you to say, mr. i’m perfect at everything” you teased, getting a laugh out of him.

“hey! none of that!” he scolded you with a pout. “just trust me, i’m gonna catch you no matter what, okay?” he continued, squeezing your hips for reassurance. you only nodded, and on the count of three, hanbin lifted you in the air again. everything was going well, until you felt one of your hands slip, and the next moment you were laying on top of habin on the floor.

his hands were tightly wrapped around your body, and you could feel his heart beating fast into his chest. hanbin’s face was mere centimetres away from yours. “oh my god! are you okay?” you worried, trying to get off of him, but his grip only tightened. the act made you stop in your tracks, your cheeks warming up. “h-hanbin” you stuttered, now worried the boy had hit his head or something. 

“see? i said i wasn’t going to let you hit the floor” he only laughed. sighing out of relief, you brushed his bangs out of the way of his eyes. hanbin looked beautiful, even when he was all worn out from the hours of practice. you’ve always thought so, but now seeing it up close you were certain about it. he smiled at you, showing off his famous whisker dimples. you smiled back, as your hands laid against his chest. you noticed his eyes travelling down your face, to your lips, and at that moment you couldn’t stop yourself from hesitantly leaning into him. 

“oh sorry, didn’t know you guys were still here” you heard a voice coming from the door. being snapped back to reality, hanbin finally let go of you. you standed up and helped hanbin to do the same, the two of you now recognizing the person that had entered the room as jiwoong. “did i interrupt something?” his voice was filled with amusement. 

“no not at all, we were just about to finish” hanbin’s whole face and neck hued the colour pink, as he spitted out the biggest lie of his life.

v. flirting 101

you couldn’t stop thinking about hanbin all weekend, how the two of you almost kissed if only jiwoong hadn’t interrupted you. when did you even start liking him? 

while you could’ve just texted him, you never found the right thing to send. what were you supposed to say to him? you thought about asking for advice from some of your teammates but eventually decided against it, knowing they wouldn’t have anything smart to say. you could almost hear chaeryeong’s teasing words just thinking about it. 

you had yet to find time to rehearse your duet together, as hanbin needed time to practice his solo. you had tried to talk to him multiple times, but snitched out last second each time, claiming that it was only because you couldn’t bother him at the moment. in reality, you felt nervous around him. you don’t remember the last time you’ve felt this way towards someone, let alone almost kissed someone.

you had stayed at the studio after practice to help momo with your team’s costumes for the competition. it seemed that you struggled with saying no when someone asks for your help. it was late again, the studio nearly empty, when you were finally ready to go home. walking towards the exit, you noticed one of the practice rooms was still in use. curiosity getting the best of you, you decided to take a look at who was still practicing at the late hour. in the room was hanbin, rehearsing alone again. 

hanbin was fully focused on the music, his body hitting every beat of the song. the way he moved was captivating to you, like he was putting some type of spell on you. it wasn’t that surprising that you fell for him so easily. you thought hanbin was the most beautiful when he was in his element, when he danced.

he was too concentrated to notice you at the door. as the song came to an end, he was completely out of breath. you couldn’t help but to clap, finally revealing yourself to the boy. the act made hanbin burst out of his own bubble, seeing you in the mirror first, giving you a tired smile before turning around. “that was amazing” you praised the boy as you fully stepped into the room.

“thank you” hanbin shyly responded, walking towards his stuff and taking a towel to wipe the sweat out of his face. you went up to him and offered him his water bottle. he smiled at you before speaking up again, “what are you still doing here this late?” his voice was filled with worry, but he was still glad to see you regardless.

“you should worry about yourself” you replied, your comment getting a small chuckle out of him. hanbin seemed tired, his eyes sleepy and hair all over the place. he must’ve had a lot of pressure on him, when so many people were counting on him to do well. you took a step closer to the boy, reaching up to fix his hair. “you’re doing great hanbin” you felt the need to reassure him, his face finally relaxing from your touch. after a while of playing with his hair, you lowered your hand to his cheek, wiping the last of sweat that was left. 

“i didn’t take you for a touchy person” hanbin said teasingly, making you quickly retreat your hand from his face. your cheeks started to warm up from embarrassment. was this how you acted when you liked someone? you made an attempt at hiding by turning your face away. the boy in front of you just giggled, mumbling about how cute you were being. 

“do you have time tomorrow? to practice our duet i mean” you asked, trying to change the subject. 

“hmm, let me think about that” hanbin pretended to think about your question for a while. “yes! but only on one condition” he said with a mischievous smile. his behaviour made you suspicious, you had yet to get used to hanbin’s playful side. hanbin took your confused face as a sign to continue, “when we win with our duet, i can take you on a date”

his straightfulness caught you off guard, but you couldn’t hold back the smile that broke into your face. knowing there were mutual feelings between the two of you gave you butterflies in your stomach. there was a hint of nervousness in hanbin, so you didn’t want to keep him waiting for an answer for too long. “if we win” you said, emphasising the word if.

“so it’s a date?” his wide smile matched yours. you nodded as confirmation, and before you knew it, hanbin quickly embraced you in his arms. you laughed how gross and sweaty he was, as he leaned back to look at you, with a pout on his lips.

“let’s go home then, i’ll drive you.”

vi. heartbreaks

your heart dropped the moment you saw yeji walk into the studio, her knee seemingly fine. everyone was shocked to see her going into jongin’s office. it was one week before the competition, and no one knew what yeji’s return could mean for the team. were jongin and momo going to let her dance? what could that mean for you and hanbin’s duet? you couldn’t hear their conversation where you were, and the suspense was killing you. 

deciding you could no longer sit around waiting, you went over to the office door to eavesdrop. “we finally got the formation to work for the full group! we can’t just go and change them all over again for you!” momo’s voice said, notably worked up by yeji’s sudden appearance. yeji kept on pleading for the two to let her come, as she didn’t want to miss the competition, “then at least let me do the rest!”

“i don’t think it’d be fair for the others, ryujin has worked hard on the solo” jongin tried to explain. 

“i already talked with everyone! ryujin, hanbin, they’re all okay with it!” yeji claimed. 

hearing hanbin’s name mentioned made you freeze on your spot. your insecurities were starting to creep in again, your mind filled up with questions. did hanbin rather do the duet yeji instead? when did they even talk about it together? it hadn’t even been twelve hours since you last saw him. 

maybe hanbin was relieved after hearing that yeji was okay. he had a much bigger chance to win with her than with you. maybe this whole time you’ve just been one big project to him, while he waited for yeji to get better.

you thought you were already over all this, being the second choice – but no, you weren’t even an option at this point. the past weeks have been the first time in years when you’ve felt great when you danced. you felt like you had finally improved, able to move on from your slump. you must’ve been just a joke to him, to everyone. tears were falling down your cheeks, your chest feeling too tight to breathe. 

“there you are y/n!” you heard a very familiar voice calling you, but you couldn’t even move to see him. hanbin sounded out of breath as he finally approached you. “i was looking for you, there’s something i need to tell you” he continued, putting his hand on your shoulder. his touch finally made you shift, as you moved out of the boy's touch, you saw his concerned face. you could only watch him for a second, before you knew you had to get out of there. 

“good luck with that duet” you said before taking your leave.

vii. making up and making …out?

since getting cut off from the duet, you've been avoiding hanbin like plague all week. he had tried to talk to you multiple times, but you ran off each time. you’ve tried to distract yourself by practicing on your own, and offering to help chaeryeong, matthew and jiwoong with their trio. it only helped you for awhile, because most times hanbin would show up and try to explain himself. you don’t know how many times you’ve told him to just focus on the competition instead of running after you.

you weren’t really mad at him, it wasn’t his fault that yeji came back. deep down you knew he probably had an explanation for everything, he wouldn’t have tried to talk to you otherwise. after calming down you could no longer blame yeji for losing your duet either, you would’ve likely done the same thing if you were her. she worked hard too, even to the point of injuring herself. you were mostly just mad at yourself, embarrassed how you’ve handled the whole thing, and letting your insecurities get the best of you again. 

it was the last day of competition, and you were sitting in the audience, as you didn’t have any dances left. there was a small break between the small group category and the solos. your team did well, however, you could tell something was off with hanbin as he danced. it wasn’t something the judges could notice, but you knew hanbin, and something was clearly off. you were worried, but you didn’t think it would be a good idea to talk to him right now, as he was somewhere probably getting ready for his solo. 

“hi, can i sit with you?” you were surprised to see yeji out here in the audience, let alone approaching you of all people. you nodded as a response, and she sat down next to you. there was an awkward silence between the two of you. you thought about what you should say to her, if you were even supposed to. both of you sat stiff, looking everywhere but each other. “shouldn’t you be getting ready for your solo?” you tried testing the waters.

“i’m not doing it” she replied, her hands gripping the corners of her chair, as she looked down to her legs. it quickly got quiet again, neither of you saying anything. you wondered if yeji’s knee wasn’t as fine as she made it seem or if something else was going on. yeji didn’t let you think for long as she finally spoke again, “i couldn’t take it away from ryujin…”

“but you could take it from me?” your words coming out of your mouth more harshly than you intended. regretting what you said, you shook your head, telling yeji to forget what you just said.

“no y/n, i should’ve asked you first, i’m sorry” she interrupted you. “i just- i was so excited to dance again… too excited even, i failed to notice that hanbin would’ve much rather danced with you. but you know him, he’s too nice to say anything” yeji explained, the last bit making you both chuckle. you were glad yeji apologised to you, even when you were never angry with her in the first place.

“do you really think that? that he would’ve rather danced with me?” you asked, wanting to believe what she said, you just needed some more reassurance. 

“obviously! i might not have been around when the two of you got closer but i’ve heard some stories from jiwoong and chaeryeong” she teased, nudging your shoulder. your cheeks blushed, as you figured yeji was referring to the night jiwoong had caught you two almost kissing at the studio. “i bet he’s already halfway through choreographing your duet for next season” she continued. yeji’s words made you feel shy and giddy, they gave you the sudden urge to see him, to talk to him.

“i think i should go find him” you stood up from your seat, looking around for the fastest route to your team’s dressing room. yeji gave you an encouraging push, telling you to hurry before he needs to go up on stage.

you ended up finding hanbin before you even got to the dressing room. you found him warming up close to the stage, already in his costume. he noticed you coming right away, giving you a small smile and a wave. saying your hello’s, you stopped awkwardly few steps away from him. “how are you feeling?” you asked carefully, not sure how he’d react to you suddenly showing up.

“i’m okay, just a little nervous” he answered quietly, continuing his stretching. you just stood there, awkwardly, not knowing what to say. you didn’t really plan ahead when you suddenly decided to find him. hanbin got up, now fully looking at you, but he didn’t say anything like you hoped he would. the two of you just stared at one another, neither knowing what to say. you could no longer bear the silence, so you finally spoke, “i’m sorry.”

“no, i’m sorry, i should’ve talked to you” hanbin took your hands to his, holding onto them like his life depended on it. his eyes were sorrowful, all this must have pained him the past week, and it was mostly your fault.

“i mean you tried to…” you reminded him, hoping that he would stop blaming himself. he let out an airy laugh, a smile finally breaking to his face. announcement could be heard in the background, telling everyone that the solo category would be starting in a few minutes, and you could see hanbin tense up. 

“you’re going to kill it, don’t worry” you reassured him, deciding to embrace the boy in a hug. he wrapped his arms around in a second, squeezing you tight. “you think so?” he mumbled next to your ear.

“hanbin, let’s go!” you could hear jongin yell from a distance. you took a look at hanbin, not quite ready to let go yet. “yes, and i’ll be right here watching” you said, with one more thing in your mind that you thought would help him. you looked around your surroundings, hoping that jongin wouldn’t be looking, before doing something you should’ve done weeks ago. you leaned in and kissed the boy, wrapping your arms around his neck. 

hanbin kissed you back after a moment of shock, and you could feel him smile against your lips. parting ways, the two of you now giggling like little kids. “I’ll be back” he let go of you, starting to walk towards jongin, who had an amused smile on his face. 

to put it simply, hanbin had never danced as well as he did then, and he was sure it was all thanks to you.

viii. lets dance

“are your eyes closed?” hanbin asked you for the fifth time, as he was moving you towards his surprise. it had been a few days since the competition, and today hanbin had been acting really suspicious. you were informed by matthew that you should stay at the studio after practice, and he left without telling you why. your questions were finally answered, when hanbin started dragging you out of the dressing room, putting his hands in front of your eyes. 

“yes, you’ve made sure of it” you answered, acting bothered by his antics. “okay okay, but no lurking!” he said excitingly, helping you to get over a higher threshold. you could tell you had entered one of the practice rooms, but you had no idea what hanbin had planned. you two stopped walking, and hanbin finally let you open your eyes, “you can open now!”

once you did open them, you wouldn't believe what laid in front your eyes. the entire room was decorated with fairy lights all over the room. the view was beautiful, and you were in complete awe. you never thought hanbin would do something like this. “hanbin…” you were completely speechless. 

“shh, that’s not all” he said, as a familiar song started playing from the speakers. you turned to hanbin as you recognized the song, it was the song for your duet. he smiled at you, offering you his hand. “dance with me”  he said quietly. you took his hand without hesitation, and he pulled you into the middle of the dance floor. you started dancing the choreography, the room filling up with laugh and giggles. 

dancing with hanbin just felt right. it made you feel at ease, moves coming easily to you as the two of you spinned around the dance floor. you never wanted this moment to end, that’s how much you were enjoying it. for a long time you haven’t enjoyed dance as much as you did right now, with hanbin. and suddenly it hit you – you loved dancing again. 

…and maybe you loved hanbin too.

- end

bonus:

“y/n, will you be my duet partner?”

“only if you’ll be my boyfriend as well”

“i like this deal”

#zb1 #zerobaseone #sung hanbin #zb1 x reader #zb1 sung hanbin #zb1 hanbin #sung hanbin x reader #sung hanbin fic #zb1 fluff #zb1 fics #zerobaseone hanbin #kpop #cloudbersoofic

[lilquokka04]

❤️‍🩹I'm Proud of You❤️‍🩹

-

-

-

-warnings-angst, hannie crying

-wc-913

-

Oh shit.

You were watching Stray kids perform their new song but realized that Han wasn't looking too happy towards the end, causing panic to stir in your chest.

Shit, shit, shit

Unfortunately you had to wait for him backstage to be able to talk to him,although having Chan there was a big relief because you knew he would do everything he could to make him feel safe.

You practically counted the seconds til he could leave the stage and be away from the cameras and fans.

The second the members started to leave the stage you were sprinting out the room and down the hall to meet them.

When you finally found them you could see several members crowded in front of Han trying to calm him down.

Your expression cracked and you immediately felt like crying seeing the way he was sobbing and trying to control his breathing.

"Hannie!" You called out as you walked towards the group. Once the members noticed you they moved away from the sobbing boy, giving you both some room.

As Chan walked by you could see the relief on his face, he knew if anyone could comfort Han it would be you. When Han realized you were there he completely broke down, hyperventilating and hiccuping as he tried to wipe his tears away with his fists.

"Baby-" You closed the rest of the distance and wrapped him up in a hug, tucking his head against your chest and letting him use your shirt to cry on.

Tightening your grip on your trembling boyfriend, you place a gentle hand on the back of his head and rub soothing circles with your thumb, knowing he likes his hair being played with when he's upset.

"You're okay baby. I got you." You soothe, glancing up to see the members standing off to the side with worried expressions on their face. Luckily there is no one else in the hallway right now but you know it won't stay that way for long. Knowing Han won't be able to tell you anything you beckon the leader over.

"How long until you guys are needed back up there?"

He bites his lip and glances at Han.

"20 minutes at most, but we need to have our hair and makeup touched up before then."

You feel Han's grip tighten at the mention of having to go back in a room full of staff and have people questioning him. You reassuringly rub a hand up and down his back as you leave a quick peck to his head.

"I'm not leaving you." Your murmur into his hair.

"I'll take him to a separate room and clean up his makeup before you have to go back on stage."

Chan blows out a nervous breath and nods before walking off to the rest of the group.

Once the members leave you lead your boyfriend off to an empty room so he can relax and collect himself before he has to go back on stage.

☆☆☆

You rock back and forth with Han in your lap, his head tucked into your neck as his tears have long since soaked through the material of your shirt. Placing a small kiss to his temple you reach over and grab a tissue, gently wiping his tears away and dabbing at the liquid that's collected above his lip.

He scrunches up his face as you wipe some of his mucus away, feeling embarrassed but too tired to really care.

You giggle at his expression and peck his nose, then his forehead, glad to see him feeling a little better.

Glancing at the clock, you pick up the makeup bag Chris brought earlier and open it up, grabbing the foundation and a light eyeshadow to hide the fact that his eyes are puffy.

He sits there in silence as you redo his makeup, playing with the bracelets on your wrist and occasionally letting out a giggle here and there when you plant a kiss to his nose.

When you finish you set everything on the counter and gently stand up, forcing Han to get up as well.

"It's just to announce the winner, okay? It won't be for more than 15 minutes."

He looks up and gives you a small smile before glancing back down at the floor, not really reassuring you but you both know he doesn't have a choice.

"You can do this Hannie, and you will have the members right there with you. Afterwards we can stay in your room the whole day. I'll order your favorite food and we can watch anime together."

Your boyfriend gives one last sniffle but nods, and that will have to be good enough for now because you're out of time. You walk him out the door and his members quickly check him over before whisking him off to the stage once more.

☆☆☆

You watch him through the monitor the whole time and eagerly greet him when he gets back.

He definitely seems to be feeling better now but more relieved than anything that he's done with people and cameras for the day. He quickly says his byes to the members and rushes over to embrace you once more. You breathe out a sigh of relief that he can finally go home and you can properly take care of him.

"See? I knew you could do it."

#I am not totally sure what happened but it hurts to see him cry 💔💔💔 #Hopefully he is doing better now and has rime to relax and destress #I just really wanted to be able to comfort him so I wrote this❣ #We love you hannie #I am proud of you🧡🧡🧡 #Skz imagines #Skz fluff #Weloveyouhan #skz reactions #Han fluff #Han reactions #Han imagines #Anxiety is a bitch but you did so well ❤️‍🩹

[petalouda85]

Braids

Fandom: Blades of Light and Shadow 2

Pairing: Tyril x f!human!MC (Kassandra)

Word count: 2.6k

Concept: the Tyril reunion of Blades 2, as I imagined it pre-chapter 2.

Tags: @choicesficwriterscreations, @liviusofpella, @megas-choices, @starlight-starfury

AO3 link: X

A/N: It’s been three years since I’ve written a fanfic and the first time writing these character so please be nice. Also, did quite a bit of research into box braids but I’m certain that I still got some details wrong. Apologies in advance. Also, so glad I got this finished before the Book 2 Finale 😅

It was earlier in the afternoon when Kassandra sat before the vanity in her room in Whitetower, everything she would need to braid her hair prepared and ready before her. She had washed her hair the day before and had allowed it to air dry in temporary chunkier plaits. Now that they were taken out, she was ready to begin the long process of braiding it all.

It had been a week since her escape from the Shadow Realm. Kassandra had been keen to start the mission, not wishing to waste her time while the Ash Empire threatened her home and her family. Every second that ticked by, their foes grew more prepared. Every day that passed, another hour of sleep was lost, her mind in turmoil and desperately fighting back horrendous images and memories. She wished to run out of the city walls, return to the road, and walk towards a solution. But regathering the group had hit a snag.

After the Royal Archives had run out of leads on how to find her, the group had split up, hoping that they could find something to rescue her in the other corners of Morella. Mal and Nia had remained in and around Whitetower, Nia researching in the Temple while Mal snuck around old tombs and temples. Imtura had returned to the Wraith, searching around the Cartesian Sea for any possible lead; it was by sheer chance that she had been sailing in the waters north of the Whitetower and was heading back to the city when Kassandra returned. Threep and Loola had not strayed far, having cozied up to Kade in the Archives, snacks never far from sight.

Only one member was missing.

A dove had been sent to Undermount with news of her return but the others had been uncertain if Tyril was even in the city; he had announced the intent to go there when the group had parted ways but some time had passed since then.

While they waited, desperate to keep herself busy and ignore the knots of sadness in her chest and the turmoil in her mind, she had spent some time taking out her braids. Her time in the Shadow Realm had ruined them and, considering the length of time she had been gone, they were long overdue a redo. All things considered, her hair was in a remarkably good state. A few days loose with the necessary care and her hair was ready to be braided once more.

She began by parting her hair into various smaller sections, pinning away most sections for later; she had always found it overwhelming doing everything all at once, even when Kade aided her in her quest. Last thing she wished now was to be overwhelmed by braiding; it felt at times that anything could set off the maelstrom of emotions hidden behind her smile and determination.

She began braiding the first section she had parted. She braided until about the halfway point before she moved to another section, braiding it too to about half the length of her hair. She repeated this for all the front sections, bringing the half finished braids forward over her shoulder in preparation for later steps. Once all sections were braided and brought forward, she let out a long sigh, already exhausted by the lengthy process. Still, she still had some ways to go. Before continuing, she peaked at her room in the reflection of the mirror, giving the space a brief glance over.

Everything in the room has been as she left it. Her first full day back, she had gone through all her belongings, yet another distraction from her mind. She had yanked out all the borrowed clothes out of the closet and organized and folded and hung them up again, despite them already being neat and tidy. She had read and reread all the lore tablets, searching between the lines for new details she knew weren’t there. She had searched and organized the few belongings she had and during that, she had found an item missing.

Her trusted bow.

She remembered that she had left it in its usual spot by her night stand. Of course, the one day she decided that the dangers had passed was the day she had needed it. A search of the royal armory yielded nothing nor did the exploration of the royal relics on display in the grand halls of the palace. In fact, no one had seen her bow since the group had gone their own ways. Her disappointment had been hard to hide. She was skilled in other forms of combat and the alchemy set she had acquired in the Shadow Realm was quite handy but her bow was special to her and now it was gone.

Just another thing she had lost.

Her belongings sorted and with little else to do while they waited, Kassandra had set to the long task of redoing her hair. Kade had offered to help her, spending some time with her undoing the many long braids she had and putting in the now-much-easier-to-acquire products in preparation for the new braids. He had chatted away endlessly about his work, the new books he’d read and sharing previous tales like he had done in Riverbend. She had listened intently, grateful for the distractions but soon, in typical Kade fashion, the topic began to drift away from the frivolous, joyous tales. Gently, he began to pry into her ordeal in the Shadow Realm, asking if she was alright and if she needed to talk; no doubt he had spotted the bag under her eyes in the days since her return.

Somehow she had avoided talking about any of it. Part of her wanted to talk about it, let it all out and be weak and vulnerable for just a moment, just be Kassandra and not the Saviour of Morella, the fearless leader of the group. But she couldn’t. Now wasn’t the right time.

It never was.

With a sigh, Kassandra turned her attention back to her braids, eyeing the back portions of her hair. Parting and braiding the back was always difficult to do; maybe she shouldn’t have declined Kade’s help. She resorted to fiddling around with an extra mirror available in the room, eventually finding a set-up that allowed her to see the back. As she began to part the hair, a thought rushed through her mind, it leaving a feeling of sadness.

She had promised Tyril that she would teach him how to care for and braid her hair once everything had calmed down. She couldn’t help but imagine the scenario, a tear welling in her eye. The two of them in Whitetower’s garden, sitting by the fountain, her showing him how to make a braid, braiding it halfway down before offering it to him. He’d probably fumble, mutter about how in Undermount it would be done using magic and being gobsmacked by the notion that she had to do it all by hand. He’d be further shocked by the fact that, when she lived in Riverbend, braiding her hair was an affair lasting several days, work and other duties preventing her from completing the artwork in a single sitting.

Not today. She was determined to finish it in a single sitting, aching arms and sleepy eyes be damned.

She repeated the process from before: parting the hair, pinning away the sections for later, braiding the sections one by one, and throwing the half finished braids to the front for later completion.

Once all sections were partially braided, she began finishing the braids, detangling the strands as she went; certainly not the fastest method of braiding but Kassandra found that she cared little for it at the moment. In silence, she worked through the braids one by one, painstakingly tying each braid off with thin threads of black ribbon, placing the few decorative beads she owned on some of the braids.

By the time she reached the final braid, the sun had already set.

There was a knock at the door. Kassandra sighed. It was probably Kade, coming once again with chamomile tea to aid in her futile quest for a restful night.

“Come in.” She said, hoping she was loud enough to be heard. She didn’t look up as she heard the door open, keeping her focus on her last braid in an attempt to avoid yet another conversation of concern and deflection. Silence continued throughout the chamber as she finished and secured her braid. She anticipated to hear the sound of a cup being placed down, the door shutting, and being left to another lonely night of nightmares. A fragment of a scent graced her nose but it wasn’t the tea she anticipated. Floral but not chamomile.

“Moonflowers?” Kassandra thought, her breath catching. Moonflowers weren’t common in Whitetower but they were somewhere else.

Undermount.

She glanced up in the mirror, finding a figure standing in the doorframe. Tall, elven, blue-skinned, and long, dark hair.

“Tyril.” She mumbled, jumping to her feet and turning to face him, praying she wouldn’t wake from some cruel nightmare. Her breath caught once more when she found him still standing in the doorframe, eyes trained on her, a cacophony of emotions flashing across his face. Disbelief, desperation, confusion, desire, love.

Time seemed to pause between them, both of them stuck in place.

Tears beginning to fall, Kassandra snapped out of her statue-like stance and ran to him, the elf meeting her halfway. They crashed into a hug, Kassandra gripping tightly onto him, feeling him do the same. A comfortable silence fell between them and a smile played on her lips as she took in his warmth, feeling safe for the first time in a week.

“How?” She heard him whisper into her hair. “When?” Kassandra shook her head, holding her grip tight.

“Don’t say anything.” She responded softly. “Just stay like this for a moment.” The tears continued as she held onto him, cursing her captors in her mind; how dare they take her from her family, from this. They stood in each other’s arms in silence, savoring each second. Reluctantly, they pulled out of the hug, though they remained close.

He cupped her face in his hands, looking at her as if she were the stars themselves. With a brief flash of hesitance, he leaned forward and captured her lips in a kiss, it slow and gentle, as if he was trying to savor every moment of it. It was different yet somehow the same, as if no time had passed between them. He deepened the kiss, clinging onto her as if he was scared that she’d disappear once more. Soon, he pulled away, the two of them breathless. Kassandra looked into his eyes, finding tears welling in them.

“What happened to you?” She shook her head.

“I’ll explain everything tomorrow. Let’s just enjoy this moment while we can.” He nodded, leaning forward to give her a kiss on her forehead. He cupped her cheek and frowned in concern.

“When was the last time you had a good night’s rest?” He asked, running his thumb her baggy eyes and wiping away her tears.

“I could ask you the same.” She reached up to cup his cheek, frowning at his baggy eyes. He bowed his head down as if in shame. “Tyril,” she began softly, only to be stunned to silence when she spotted a familiar weapon strapped to his back, “is that…?” She asked softly. Immediately, he pulled the ornate bow free and held it out for her to see. Kassandra reached forward but dared not to touch it, the tears reappearing.

“Your bow.” He responded. “I… took it before I returned to Undermount. I know I shouldn’t have but, I wanted something of you with me. To remind me to keep fighting and to keep going.” His face fell. “It has been… difficult this last year.” He added before holding out the bow to her. Kassandra hesitated for a moment before gently taking the bow into her hands. She stared at it for a moment before hugging it to her chest. She felt Tyril’s hand on her shoulder and she gave a faint smile.

“Thank you.” She whispered. She turned around and walked to the nightstand, placing the weapon against it, right where it belonged.

A bell tower tolled the hour outside the open window, snapping the two back to attention.

“It’s late.”

“So it would seem.”

“Maybe we should…” Kassandra looked at the elf, his expression seemingly calm and collected but she could see the faintest trace of doubt in his eyes.

“I can leave, if you’re-“

“No.” Kassandra quickly replied. “Stay. Please.” After a moment, Tyril began to remove his weapons, placing them down by the nightstand on his side of the bed. Kassandra turned around as she took off the outer layers of her clothing, letting the fabric fall to the ground in a heap. When she glanced her over shoulder, Tyril had already taken off his armor and stood in the shirt he wore underneath it.

The mattress dipped under their weight as they lay down on their side, facing each other. They stared at each other, Kassandra taking in every inch of his perfect features; how she had missed that face.

He gave a quick smile and reached forward, placing a reverent kiss on her forehead, then her cheek and then her lips. Once he pulled away, he smiled softly at her, Kassandra returning the gesture. Grabbing hold of her hand, he lay back down. Her smile morphed to a curious frown when she spotted an unfamiliar necklace around his neck.

Compared to the detailed elven armor he wore and the general extravagance of the elves, it was very plain. Simply a black string with a small silver bead. She reached forward and gently brushed her fingers over it.

“What’s this?” She asked softly. Tyril reached up and began to fiddle with the bead.

“Something I wanted to give to you. Before…” He trailed off, a sadness taking over his expression. He sat up in the bed and took off the necklace, sliding the small bead off the string into the palm of his hand. “It’s a bead for your braids. I commissioned a silversmith to make this for you after the Masquerade. To thank you. For everything.” He held his hand to her. She reached for the bead but lingered her hand in his, taking in the warmth and the comforting smoothness of his skin. She smirked at the light blush that appeared on his cheeks. She held the bead up to admire it, quickly spying an image carved into the silver, a familiar sigil.

“The Starfury sigil.” Kassandra said to which Tyril nodded. He hesitated for a moment before reaching forward and taking one of her braids with a fond smile.

“It’s a pity that I didn’t arrive sooner. Maybe you could’ve worn it already.” He said, a hint of remorse in his tone. Gently, Kassandra took the braid from him and untied the string holding it in place. She undid a small section of it before sliding the bead onto one of the strands. With practiced ease, she redid the braid and tied it off.

“There. Right where it belongs.” She announced proudly, admiring the braid. She ran her fingers over the bead. “Thank you; I will treasure this. Always.” He smiles fondly and the two lay back down once more, the comfortable silence falling between them once more. Eventually, she shuffled closer to him, still grasping his hand tightly. Soon, she found her eyes getting heavy, her mind slowly drifting towards sleep though she didn’t fear it as she had the previous days. The fleeting thought made her smile.

It was always easy to rest in his arms.

#tyril x mc #tyril starfury #blades of light and shadow #bolas 2 #playchoices #my writing #petal writes #Tyril x Kassandra

[feelbokkie]

I took a nap bc I start my pies for tomorrow and tell me why I had a stress dream about skz

So I was apparently the 9th member and I had come in some point after maniac (remember that detail).

We were at this idol summer camp type shit, idk what the fuck it was but there were idols there but they were most new bc I recognized none of them. And we were doing introductions right, but everyone was doing them individually and had some like gimmick. So some idols were doing aegyo or whatever to introduce themselves, which was news to me since I was in line with the boys, trying to figure out how I was going together to introduce myself. And when it was finally time for skz, I was calm bc I figured it out. And I thought we were going in some version of age order so I was chilling while waiting for either Can or In to go first but these boys must have a group chat without me because all 8 of them walked up together. The lights dimmed and this weird blue light came on and this fog effects came put of nowhere. It all happened so fast that before I realized all 9 of us were supposed to go up, they started getting into the starting position for Maniac. So I’m running up to join them and I’m screaming “i wasn’t here yet, i wasn’t here yet!” Because i wasn’t there during Oddinary era and apparently they never performed the song with me because they fucking never blocked it for me or gave me any line distributions, or so I thought. Apparently they did blog and give me lines and not a single one of them fucking told me so I’m doing my best trying to keep up and not bump into them and the whole time I’m panicking bc I am for sure going to lose my job and get a call from big boss JYP himself. And apparently that Felix’s part where he’s singing “maniac” and walking uo while everyone is like moving their chest to the beat is now MY part and of course that’s news to me. Seungmin is on my left going like, “bitch what the fuck are you doing” and Lino is on my right glaring at me for fucking up the dance. And then when we finished the song we went back to out seats they had the audacity to me mad at ME! So I went off on them like “First of all, we were supposed to say our names, which group we’re from, our position, and do something cute BY OUR SELEVES! We didn’t have to embarrass our juniors like that with a full ass routine. Second of all, when the fuck did we redo the line distribution and reblock maniac?” Snd then hyunjin’s smart ass was like “well if you went to all the the rehearsals you’d have known,” and I almost caused a scene on national television by beating his ass. Both Seugmin and Felix had to grab me and were like “Noona, no” and then we sat there for the rest of the program which had nothing to do with us or performing. I woke up and had beef with all 8 of them

I just want ONE normal skz dream

#feelbokkie rambles

[moonflowerpetal]

Some hcs i have

-if the eggs are the old residents and richas was the one who fled to the lighthouse, he was the ones who ran away with the recipe for what the fed wants and now the fed has to redo everything, that's why they have cucurucho , which is the one made the right way but they couldn't remake it perfectly (osito bimbo)

-the current federation was inspired by a old one but didn't know how to get to the headquarters of the old one because in fact they are a group that made a riot and disassociated themselves from the old fed so the old fed hid so they (the new) wouldn't find their research and the guy who ran away to the lighthouse thought the new group that made itself the new fed would do the experiences the same way the old fed did in a ethical way but when he saw that it wasn't, he ran away

-some books that q!cellbit are finding are write by himself during the time he was working at fed

-a lot of q!bad's ghost doesn't like q!cellbit because he was the one who killed them and eated them

-when richas mess up his prosthetic leg again after the q!tazercraft have already fixed it in the week he goes to ramon for help

-when q!pac and q!fit started flirting and ramon discovers he can get another brother he started a comparison and saw that richas and dapper are very similar (dark skin, they dabble with the occult and are good builders)

-one day richas started seeing a kid following their dad q!cellbit and never understand why no one talked with they ou made their tasks until the day he finally understood

-q!bad, q!missa, q!phil, q!cellbit, richas and dapper are the only ones who can see the dead eggs since they are the ones who knows the other side in their own ways (that was before the chayanne and tallulah thing)

-one day when q!wilbur comes back and tallulah says to him that she has another father figure that she see as a uncle and he saw that q!forever and q!phil let she fight (they don't actually but she must know how to defend herself) and these kind of thing, and he says that he never allowed it, she says ''they were here all this time''

-romero richas was the leo's entity friend who was wandering before the richas's body was allowed to back to life

-one day the residents will have to choose to save between osito and cucu but they will have to find out who is the "good" one

-it will be a egg who will kill the cucurucho (probably richas for revange after all the kidnappings)

-it is already a time where the fed doesn't want the eggs to die anymore, since they saw how dangerous the residents are and they don't want to lost the only thing that allows a sense of control over them

-abueloier is a scientist at fed but neither do q!roier or melissa knows about it (at this point i doubt that this old man don't will have his own lore)

-q!cellbit and q!foolish are opposite double agents, q!cellbit tells everyone that he hates the fed but is following cucu's idea that he is actually pretending to make the residents trust him (which is not true), while q!foolish tells everyone to like the fed but is a secret agent who will seize his chance as a trusted by the fed when the time comes

#qsmp #qsmp eggs #qsmp richarlyson #qsmp romero richas #qsmp dapper #qsmp ramon #qsmp cucurucho #qsmp osito bimbo #qsmp badboyhalo #qsmp cellbit #qsmp abueloier #qsmp federation #qsmp tazercraft #qsmp tallulah #qsmp missa #qsmp philza #qsmp fitmc #qsmp forever #qsmp myo #qsmp hope #qsmp headcanons #qsmp foolish

[ruanbaijie]

Thank you so much for The Spirealm post each time😍 Look forward everyday for new update hehe😁 Can I ask a few things that I don't quite get it? The drama didn't explain about the ring, kaleidoscope and there's light in you. Can you share a little bit if there's explanation about this in the book?

Already watch the last ep. The ending kind of confusing😵‍💫

hello! thank you to you too ^^ (I really am spamming the gifsets at this point, I have so many more waiting in my drafts 😅) here are my thoughts on those points!

the ring: yeah I think the drama left it open to interpretation, but in the novel rnz gives lqs a ruby earstud - I read the novel a while back, so I can't for the life of me remember if there's some practical purpose behind that earstud (e.g. whether he can feel his feelings through it) or if rnz also kept the other earstud (I might be confusing this with another danmei I love). so I think the ring in the drama might just symbolise that part in the novel

kaleidoscopes: in the drama I think they explained this in passing - gao dawei (lqs's friend who supposedly created this game) put in so many kaleidoscopes in their on purpose to "remind" lqs that this game is actually about him, since it's mentioned that lqs really loved kaleidoscopes when he was a child. I also noticed that the door area (yknow that dark blue "room" with the church-like painted glass before they enter each door) looks kinda like a kaleidoscope with the doors all facing one another (resembling the cross-section of a kaleidoscope) and the painted glass (resembling the colours of a kaleidoscope) vs. in the book, iirc it's mentioned the doors are a long corridor instead of facing one another. tbh, I think they just included all these kaleidoscopes in just as a nod to the original novel name (kaleidoscope of death)

light in you: this is an actual novel quote! in the novel there's a line that rnz says: “身上光越明亮，受到门的影响越小，你是我见过的，光最明亮的那一个，所以，你非常适合门。” ("the brighter the light on someone shines, the less affected they are by the doors. among all the people I've seen, you are the who has the brightest light. so, you are extremely suitable for the doors.") also! another quote I really love that's also from the novel is the one where rnz goes "I will protect you for a lifetime, whether it's for your lifetime, or for mine."

ending: man...... I don't even know where to begin with this. *spoiler alert for the novel ending below!* the novel ends with the revelation that rnz was the "door god" of the 12th and final door - what really happened was lqs had gone through doors 1-11 all by himself and founded and headed the obsidian group all by himself, there was no such person as rnz in real life. but in door 12, rnz the door god saw him, fell in love with him, and wanted to spend more time with lqs, so in the novel, door 12 was lqs redoing all of doors 1-11, except with rnz in the story now (i.e. the novel is entirely about door 12 pretending to be doors 1-11). the show's ending is kinda similar to that in the sense that rnz was part of the "game" (it's not a game in the novel, the "origin story" of the doors is very different) all along, but that's where the similarities end. the show kinda took that happy ending in the novel and twisted it into this bittersweet painful angsty ending where rnz is the code that "purifies" the distorted game. but the twist that I have even more trouble (i.e. pain) getting over is how it's kinda implied that the whole thing was in lqs's mind in the first place, like how when he re-emerged from that final door it turns out he's been in the same car accident from episode 1 and no one has any recollection of the game and his friend gao dawei didn't even invent the game. I say implied because it's never really specified if the games really happened or not, but I'm a pessimist (even though it is kinda strange that lqs would have managed to "dream" the personalities and appearances of so many different people he would later meet in real life after coming out from the final door). did the game really happen and everyone just conveniently forgot about everything and history somehow got rewritten after rnz purified the game? or was it all lqs dreaming it all up in his head after he got into a car accident and in the split second he almost died? they do seem to imply it's the latter, which is *painful* because it means rnz never existed in the first place, and even if they ended episode 78 with them meeting again after 50 years, that rnz wouldn't be the same rnz that lqs had supposedly dreamed up; he would just be a copy that lqs had programmed to be that way based on that one wild dream he had after an accident _(:3 」∠)_

ANYWAY angsty depressing thoughts aside, I hope this helps clear up some things about the show!

#*replies #the spirealm

[cos-myc]

Sharing my D&D character (finally), his ref is pretty rough and needs a redo, but I don't have time rn to polish it up due to school.

He's probably been one of my favorite characters yet, and I've been having a lot of fun with what my DM throws at me. Grover is a phantom rogue who has just discovered that he's not a halfling anymore, but actually a reborn. After a horrific accident with his previous party, Grover was the only known one to survive... Partially. Something brought him back to life, and in return has scattered his memory to a point where he can't recall what happened, or that he was even dead for over five years. Since this campaign takes place in Saltmarsh, he's been living there for about five years now, after coming home to find his wife and children gone.

Throughout the campaign, there have been subtle hints of Grover's condition. But it wasn't until an accident by our sorcerer that Grover was impaled by ice. And instead of blood and guts, all he was filled with was bugs. And since then, memories have been coming back to him. It doesn't help that he discovered a strange locket that seemed to be tracking him down, now sticking with him. Not only is the past coming back to his mind, but some of it might be coming back to get him. Who knows?

In short, my main goals for him right now are to:

Make sure history doesn't repeat itself (no one's dying on his watch), find out what happened to his former group (after all, whoever killed him might be the very thing that brought him back. But hey, that's just a theory-) and finally, to come to terms with what happened and finally reach a point of acceptance. Aka, coming to not despise his new appearance.

#dnd #dnd campaign #dnd 5e character #dnd 5e art #dnd rogue #dnd reborn #ghosts of saltmarsh #tw bugs #tw body horror

[poupeesdecirque]

Travel Blog - Part 3!

Connichi Sunday & Monday after

3rd September - Connichi Sunday

Last day of the Con, Carousel festival, group photos and being a circus brat

Last day at the convention started for be completely in the hotel as this time it was real hair time and I could fully dress up before getting to the convention hall.

It was quite early and I decided to head out for doll photos with Road - the only doll I had with me. The park itself was sadly full of garbage, I took Road out to some flowers and the morning sun helped with pics.

I picked up my friends then and we went to the convention meeting some more D.gray-man cosplayers and I actually got some photos!

I feel like there were even more dgm cosplayers on sunday??

After doing some silly pics with Red @adragonstale and I decided we wanted more and I remembered there was a carousel festival happening, after a quick google search we saw it was just a 10 minute walk from the convention location and...

Of course we got there. I got Popcorn which we shared later on, but ofc used for pics first.

I felt melanchony hitting hard during the afternoon, we checked some more vendors and I got a wig for a future teen!Mana cosplay from a store that sadly closes down now. As we sat down and I took a little nap while resting my head on my knees some creep wanted to take photos... between my legs. Luckily my friends were with me and told that asshole off. The worst is that this bastard wanted to argue that everyone "does this" and was offended my friend "ruined" his photo with pointing his middle finger into the camera.... seriously what is with Wiesbaden and those creeps?!

We headed out for dinner later on, the restaurant took forever we almost ordered take out there.

Then we went back to the con and did some more photos, slowly letting the evening end.

But it all came to a sudden ending as a swat team arrived and the whole city's police becauste some asshole called and told he would *do a thing* in the park.

That left a bitter taste for me as I was completely nervous then, it didn't help my hotel was next to a police station.

But well I was completely knocked out that evening.

Monday 4th September

Traveling back home, cleaning, cosplay aftermath, plans

Monday was the first day of the weekend I was sleeping long enough to actually need my alarm to get up. I traveled back that day, the drive back was actually shorter??? Like from the start it was told to be 30 minutes shorter to begin with. Weird.

The scenery was very beautiful.

Back home it was unpacking and seeing how much dirt I had collected with my cosplays. The cosplays were partially very stained and needed a good wash, especially the shoes.

Tested the wig I got very quickly and will work on my variant of teen!Mana later on.

I think I will finalize the cosplay for next year's bookfair, it's the same base as Nea but the wig needs some work and I want to make a new bag as Tim doesn't fit for Mana. I want to do a bag that looks like the Earl.

My next convention will be the Polaris in Hamburg, but just for one day (Saturday) - I will most likely doing an Allen variant, I will aim to redo his jacket for the runaway variant and hope I will make it in time.

I'm sure I need my friends closer if I will attend the Connichi again as I just need the emotional support and safety with those creeps and drug abuse around the location of the convention. It's a convention yes, it doesn't feel like the Connichi to me, the people were lovely though.

There are a lot of things that I truly missed about it feeling like the Connichi which starts with the fact we always got those cute tickets in the mail - since last year you had printed/mobile tickets; BUT last year you at least had the option to get a collector's ticket and got it via mail but this year they didn't even send it you had to pick it up... which felt very wrong having not the type of ticket you grew up with.

The missing main Manga and DVD publisher, missing small publisher and overall lovelessly arranged convention hall didn't help much. Yes you can spy on people when you go onto 2nd or 3rd level as the building is brighter with the windows and it's nice to have 3 entries and not just two (but wait we actually had 3 as well before covid, so, that's not even an argument), I missed the fact that the safety guards and medics checked the park, which they did in Kassel. I think it would have avoided a lot of called ambulances and that situation on sunday as well. I know they don't need to do that by law but ... well.

Also not having free public transport but a coupon for getting into a champange producer fabric tour doesn't compare at all (like wtf, then at least give us the Anime Cinema for free and not for an additional price). There is no free parking spots at all, you have to pay for all. Overall the convention is less central and more expensive while lacking a lot of things they had in before even within the programm. It has changed a lot and not all for the "omg new shiny building with space", if you lack the important vendors the space will remain empty and that is just very off putting.

It's nice to have more restaurants in a short distance but if the Matsuri wasn't lacking serious good food options this year we would have eaten at the con and not at restaurants. It was just tiny very overpriced snacks, last year you got good filling lunch/dinner options for an okay-ish price.

Overall: people were amazing, the con was seriously lacking a lot, people matter more for me though.

#travel blog #con #connichi #connichi 2023 #cosplay

[cheemken]

Hey Knight,

I don’t got much to say for any new AU’s or anything to add onto, but I just finished the Indigo Disk DLC

Anyways. What’s your opinion about Drayton and Iris 🎤

Are they siblings? Cousins? What kind of dynamic do you think they have?

I think they have this kind of dynamic

That's so real tho yeah that's them your honour🤣🤣

But omf yeah cause like I've talked abt them w my friend Altair yeah, and at first I thought that oh, maybe there's resentment there y'know, cause yeah Drayton had to redo his second year a buncha times and y'know since Iris is a prodigy maybe he'd have some sort of resentment that she's doing better than him

But like, looking at it now, idt that's the case?? Ofc unless they finally reveal to us their dynamic hahaha

Tho now for me, I think their dynamic would be similar to Sans and Papyrus undertale lmfaooo look as much as I don't like Sans and Paps much, Drayton and Iris do give off the vibes. Like Drayton is pretty chill, pretty lazy, I wanna say he's so supportive of Iris. Like imagine tho the first time Drayden took Iris in, Drayton got so excited that immediately he treats her like a sister, teaching her everything he knows abt pokemon, and they bonded over their own dragon pkmn. Iris was least so amazed by his Duraludon, she swears she and her Axew will be as strong as him one day

And yeah idk ig it would be cute if like,, Iris really looks up to him, cause while he's lazy, he's strong, and now she's at his level. But to him, she had always been the stronger one, she was just held back by the comments made abt her that she ended up thinking she's not capable. Also, imagine him being like Sans undertale, he's all protective threatening anyone who messes w Iris hahah

And just,,, ough imagine tho, like, if we go w Nate/Rose really beating Iris and being the new Champion, Drayton was there for her, saying "well, guess we're both ex Champions now" laughing as he pats her back, trying to make her feel better and ough your honour pls chxknx

But also yeah despite all the soft, they would annoy the hell outta each other lmfao no I'm not taking criticism, they're siblings, if they can't piss off the other for a day they'd combust, I know for a fact they'd try to embarrass each other when either friend groups are around hahaha but also, imagine them just like, absolutely fucking up the twins tho, cause on our prev concepts the twins are like messing w Iris and her stuff when she's not around, imagine her and Drayton doing the same to Hilda and Hilbert but tenfold hahaha

#but ough.. your honour them... ;w; #imagine tho since most peeps say that iris is the younger one theyre actually just the same age hahah #cause cmon iris should be older by now right cbdmdn #but also it would be funny if like we do get bw3 and iris is actually the older one between the two of em hahah #also #speaking of aus #man can you imagine the villain aus tho hcndbd #like imagine how drayton would react tho or if he actually knows or not until iris does a reveal #or whichever villain au bc we have like three— hahaha #but oughgh yeah #opelucid siblings my beloved i hope we get to see their dynamic soon hfjdnd #an ask and an answer #jerseyk112 #pokemon hcs #unova kids #?? i mean theyre both from unova so like yeah hahaha #dragon siblings

[samkat10423]

Back to Cape Garner

I was playing in Dragon Valley, changing most of the locals into supernaturals, because any modern person who thinks living in Medieval times is a “good” thing, is a bit short of gray matter. (And this from someone who was a card-carrying member of SCA!) So, I figured while I was “fixing” all the lots and giving the elven sims different skins to look more like Peter Jackson’s, I might as well make the locals into werewolves, fairies, and such. But now we’re entering the Christmas season, and I’ve decided that this is the year I will finally celebrate the holiday in my game. And where better to do it, than Cape Garner. 

I’ve been redoing all the lots - because that’s what I do. Replacing some with ones that @deelightfuldelights shared with me, when we were both over on The Sims Daily. I think I posted them on here before, but I’ll dig them up and share them again. 

Anyway, this town comes with a generic cemetery - which means that while it has a bunch of tombstones, they don’t generate any ghosts. And since I hate generic cemeteries, I’ve been busy making Sims to kill. Go, me! Well, I’ve also been making Sims to live here too, since the world is unpopulated. But today it’s all about dead Sims!

As you can see, my dead Sims are a diverse group. Since this island was settled back in the 1800s, I decided to have dead Sims from different eras. Those 2 in the 18th century garb are refugees from the French Revolution, clinging to their past - hence the old-fashioned dress. The next one is supposed to be one of the indigenous natives - but there really isn’t any really good Native American clothing in-game, so she got stuck with this. (I probably could have tracked down some stuff, but since she’s a ghost, I didn’t bother). And next to her is an outlaw. 

Then we have this group. The first “lady” ran the town brothel during the time of that outlaw dude. Next to her is EA’s idea of a Native American outfit, and then finally, a pirate dude. The guy in the green sweater gets to live. He’s a remake of Christopher Steele, who’s moved to town as the new orchestra conductor. 

In my town history I will have the Garner family - complete with their own set of ghosts - along with the Chou family, whom the Garner’s hate. The Chou’s like to tell everyone that they are among the original settlers - which they were in a sense. Just not the way they like to “remember” it. Like many Asian Americans they came over as cheap labor - not part of their plan, but that’s the way it was back then when the railroads were exploiting non-natives. Well, they exploited natives as well, but that’s another story. Actually, my German ancestors were told that the roads were paved with gold before they immigrated here in the late 1800s. What they found was no roads - but that they were expected to help build them.

But back to my history. The Chous have always been a hard-working family and as such, have made a success of themselves. They have reached level 10 in both the business and political careers for the last few generations, which has made them the richest family in town, while the Garners are on the downward slide. So yes, there’s envy which leads to hate. Because the Garners want things to be as they were, with them being the top dogs. They also hate the Singleton brothers - who bought an estate from another formerly wealthy family who lost everything and left town in disgrace. (The Garner daughter-in-law was from that family). The brothers made their money in tech and could care less about the past. Then there’s the Weatherby family - nouveau riche, who like to flaunt their wealth. (Think the Altos). Plus, they could care less about the environment, which doesn’t sit well with my Native Americans or my Greenies. And finally, there’s my Showtime Sims - also known by the Garners as “those” Sims. (Notice a trend here with my founding family?) 

Anyway, today, I have to make some Sims from the Roaring 20s to kill. Maybe I’ll just grab some from Roaring whatever it’s called.    

#sims 3 Cape Garner creating dead Sims and conflict because I like drama!

[sasuhinasno1fan]

A wish for a different life - Adrien AUGreste Day 3+4

Still not feeling very chatty but here’s the second chapter. I wasn’t in love with it but couldn’t figure out how to redo it in a way I like so enjoy. @adrienaugust

Memories

“So mama says to order the food at least 30 minutes before. They use a separate food delivery service and since you’re ordering from 3 different places, you don’t want anything getting cold. She is curious why cannolies.”

“If they can stand up to going from hot to warm, then they’re good.” Adrien said, typing all the notes into his phone. “This gives me time anyway to start unpacking anyway. Hey, do any of you guys live the park? I’m not at the entrance that’s near here, but on the other side and I’m hoping I’ll have a walking partner once I know my way around.”

“Marinette lives right across the street from the nearby entrance. It’s really a straight shot. If you want, we can come meet you tomorrow.”

“Later in the week if that’s ok? Mom is insisting I take the 10-minute car ride, at least until the embassy gives us our metro cards.”

“Sounds like a plan. You’ve got our numbers, shoot us a call if you’ve got way too much pizza.” Nino said, as Adrien spotted the embassy car and headed towards it.

“I will. See you guys tomorrow!” he waved to his new friends and climbed in, still waving as the car pulled into traffic. He leaned back in his seat and looked at the group selfie Nino insisted on after hearing his lack of friends he had with the moving. He liked his class and the people he felt like he could call his friends. He hoped they didn’t have to move all of a sudden.

Life as a diplomates’ child was never easy. His parents, some of the best partners he would see in their job, weren’t the best partners in their social life. What had once been a strong force fell into fights when work increased and the moves would grind at their nerves. If Adrien hadn’t wanted to save the little tolerance his parents had for each other, they could have destroyed each other. No kid wanted to sit their parents down and tell them they thought they’d be better off separated, but it’s what he did. He’d felt like he had no one to talk to because he was so busy worrying about his parents and it was starting to affect his life more than he could ever want. New schools and his odd lists of hobbies didn’t help either. Very rarely did he make lasting friends, usually because the schools his parents placed him in were for the uber rich and he got sick of the backstabbing really quick. It might have helped with his colourful vocabulary, but it also made a lot of time for the things he loved now: cosplay, learning languages, playing piano, exploring. It was easy to hid his hurt and loneliness for a while with exploring the places he was in, even if it was for a week. But when he started wanting validation from online presence in a way that scared him, he knew things had to change.

His parents split, which ended up allowing them to talk better and they’d gotten reassigned to Italy again. The few friends he did still have were beyond excited to have him back and he could finally share his hobbies. Moves still happened and he was usually nervous about making friends, ones who didn’t turn their nose up at the odd things he liked doing, but this time he was sure he’d found a solid group, if not solid class. Minus Lila. She’d continued to glare at him for the rest of the day and the few comments she did make were either punished for or he took care of with an eyeroll and scoff that seemed to shut her up quick. He still didn’t get what the issue was with her. Maybe she didn’t like Italian people?

“Your mother wanted to let you know she’d be a bit late tonight.” The driver said, already pulling up to the house.”

“That’s fine. Gratzi.” That just meant he’d order the food a bit later, which was fine. Right now, he had unpacking to do.

                                                ______________

Adrien was singing so loudly in Korean, he almost didn’t hear the doorbell.

“Yes?”

“Delivery from Pizzeria Arrivederci, Respiro, Trattoria – Pizzeria and Jimmy 2 Fois?”

“Come right up!”

Adrien was glad he’d worked by room; the entryway table was already set up to hold the pizzas until he was done signing for them. while he waited, he turned the music down and then balked at the time. Their last apartment had a noise curfew and he was way past it. He was also a bit worried. He assumed his mother would be home by now, but he also knew his mom would text if anything was wrong. Not to mention that the security the embassy had. Still, with everything he heard about akumas and Hawkmoth, he couldn’t help but feel worried. He adjusted the headband keeping his bangs back when a knock finally came to the door.

“Coming!”

He opened the door to see a slight tower of boxes. It moved to reveal an older guy, maybe 2 or 3 years older than him, with blue dyed hair mostly covered by a yellow bike helmet. He was dressed in ripped jeans and a hooded jean jacket and his whole style screamed punk.

“3 pizzas and 3 orders of canolies, 1 order per restaurant. Party?” the delivery guy asked, allowing Adrien to take the boxes from him.

“Nope, just me and my mom. We’re from Italy originally and we do this whenever we move to a new place. Pizza and canolies, can they impress an actual Italian?”

The delivery boy hands him the receipts to sign. “Sounds like a dream come true to be honest. How often do you do this, if you don’t mind my asking?”

“Pretty often. Mom’s a diplomat and we move more often than most families. There have been good and bad places. New York’s Italian was pretty amazing.”

“New York huh?” he accepted the signed receipts. “That must have been amazing, especially with all the heroes around.”

Adrien sighed happily, remembering his time there. “It was. We were in Little Italy, even though the embassy wasn’t anywhere nearby. English is hard but I didn’t care because it was like being home. Fresh pastries from the nonnas and all the pasta dough they’d give us just because? God, we kept one nonna’s famed marinara sauce for so long. I need to go back because it was amazing. The heroes weren’t too bad though. I was oddly never in their pathway.”

“you’re making me jealous. The akuma’s here are no joke. My sister was akumatized once and it’s not exactly a favoured memory. But we do have Scarlet Bug and Catseye. Even though they have to keep a distance for people’s safety, the city feels protected. Hopefully you’ll find a bit of that here in France.”

“I hope so. All my classmates seem to think they’re pretty amazing. One wants to know everything about them.”

“Ah, so you met Alya Césaire then?” the pizza delivery guy looked almost a bit exasperated. He wondered if Alya’s desire to know everything caused that with everyone who knew her. “I’m told she means well, but maybe you can be the voice of reason to get her to stop hunting for their identities.”

“I’ll try my best.”

“Well then enjoy. Well, I’m Luka and these restaurants thank you for your patronage. Enjoy the rest of your night.” Luka winked at him and Adrien couldn’t help but stare a little as he walked away. The guy was cute, sue him.

He put the food on the coffee table and continued unpacking, watching the time roll by. This was weird. His mom was never this late. Throughout his many schools, he’d met a fair amount of diplomat kids. A lot of them talked about how they were mostly raised by nannies or au-pairs or by themselves if they were old enough. Even if his mom brought work home, she’d always be home before he went to sleep. The typing of her keyboard had many a time been his lullaby. Even when he’d been sick and insistent on being attached to his mother, she would keep him close and still work. She would always make time for him, even if it was just one day in the week they could spend together. she never thought he was weird for his interests. He was carefully stacking the boxes of photos near one of the walls in the living room. The one on the top most box was one of their recent ones. A photo from back in Italy on one of the many bridges in the city, he’d convinced his mom to dress in an outfit fit for a lady of court while he dressed accordingly. He’d been trying to get her to act all coyishly but she kept laughing. They were in stiches by the time the event was over. It was a favoured memory of his now.

He just wished he knew where his mom disappeared to now.

                                               ______________________

He blinked awake, looking at the dim room. He couldn’t feel his arms and realised it was because he was laying on them on his front. He groaned and turned over, wincing at the feeling of pins and needles rushing down his arms. His eyes slowly adjusted and he saw he was in the living room. The pizza boxes where still on the coffee table. He opened one of the smaller boxes and looked at the filling leaking out of the cannoli. His mom, never made it home. He checked his phone and sitting with 2 missed call notifications was a text from his mom, letting him know she was staying at the embassy because of paperwork and she was sorry.

His mom never focused on work on their first day. She was always back and in time for pizza and canolies. He knew his mom’s work was important, but their tradition had never been backseat to it. He didn’t like it.

#adrien augreste #adrien aguast #lila wins and wishes for adrien's life #lila's mom is now adrien's mom

[raging-fan-human]

To all 5 of my followers who are not bots:

I am in fact still alive. Here is a rundown of what I've been up to over the past 5-7-ish months!

I graduated high school! (That was pretty cool.)

I packed up and moved to New Jersey with my parents! (Also pretty cool.)

I lived in a hotel for 3 weeks! (Meh.)

My parents and I got moved into an apartment sooner than expected! (Kinda cool, but I had to go back to sleeping on an air mattress.)

Our household goods delivery was delayed twice and only half of it came while I was still there. (At least I got my bed back ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ )

My parents and I drove to Virginia literally the next day for move-in day at the school. (Very very tired.)

I get to know some people during the first few weeks (mostly orientation + only first-years on campus.)

My roommate and I quickly become best friends! (Very awesome, especially since we're one of 4 sets of roommates in our entire building that haven't made requests to move.)

We make a mutual friend who we do everything with! (I love them so much! I also miss being able to go to the lake with them every day : ( but that's okay!)

Actual classes start for the semester! (Very busy and do not see the mutual friend as often.)

We meet the mutual friend's roommate and their mutual friend! So now we are a group of 5! (Both of whom were in my orientation group, so we kind of already knew each other!)

Just when everything seemed to be perfect, my computer kills itself and I lose progress on a ton of assignments. (Not cool at all. It sent me into a spiral of trying to redo it all and also keep up with current assignments.)

I find out the school fucked me over because they gave me incorrect information regarding money when I had a meeting with the only person who should have been able to help me because I was afraid this exact thing would happen. (I don't think he misinformed me on purpose, but it just sucks that the person who specializes in my particular situation gave me false information and now I have to get a loan.)

The next several weeks are a blur and we are now in the middle of finals week. (Very tired, physically, mentally, and emotionally.)

I am now trying to get caught up with all the work I missed due to the burnout caused by the previously mentioned computer issues, as well as all my final projects. (I'm just happy I only have one exam, and it's a non-timed take-home test, so that means I get to leave a few days early for break.)

I currently have $30 to my name, and I still have to drive home for Christmas.

TL;DR: I moved to another state, immediately had to go to another state for college before even getting settled, made amazing friends whom I love whole-heartedly, fell behind in classes, got fucked over financially (by the school on mistake), spiraled into a cycle of self-sabotage (very on-brand for me), am now trying to recover from those mistakes in the span of 3 days, and looking forward to going home early for winter break because I am not doing well mentally.

Make sure to take care of yourself. You've got this. I believe in you.

#I am so fucked #But I'll be fine #I won't let myself faill all of my classes in the first semester #mental health #college life #school struggles #long post

[jmrothwell]

Prompt: Summer School

Slices of Summer(Six): A look at the band’s first summer together. Can they figure out boundaries, communication, visibility, among other things and still enjoy their summer?

First; Prev Next

CW: Depressive Thoughts, Grief, Self Harm (unsure on the last but including it anyway)

__________

Julie should really be more careful about what she wishes for. The band had finally figured out a schedule that allowed everyone to get some recharge time. They had been talking about how to incorporate time to try to finally figure out the weird ever changing ghost rules. That all came collapsing down when her dad, or more accurately Tia Victoria over her dad’s shoulder, confronted her with the news she might have to attend summer school.

Supposedly the District had reviewed her academic record for the year and she did not meet the attendance requirement to proceed to the next grade. If she didn’t want to be held back she would be required to attend a couple weeks of summer school where she would be expected to focus on her lowest graded subjects.

Apparently the people at the District were a bunch of cold hearted jerks. Most of the claimed unexcused absences were from the first half of the school year. When Julie was still trying to reconcile moving forward with her life while still being mired with grief. Allegedly the only reason Julie was just now finding out about this was because the school, her dad, and Tia had been trying to fight the decision since before the school year had even ended. 

Her dad decided to leave the decision up to Julie, even if her Tia thought it would be better for her academic career to attend. The said they would fully support whatever decision she made. They tried to reassure this wasn't her fault and she wasn't in trouble. She didn’t really believe that, how was losing two weeks of her summer not being in trouble? Her dad tried to sound comforting when he told her she had all week to decide. How was that any comfort?

Julie didn’t know how to process any of it. She told her dad she would think about it and let him know. Mechanically she made her way to her room. She thought she should be feeling angry. She thought she should be feeling anything really. Distantly she did hear a voice echo sentiments filled with rage, she couldn’t tell you who it was or what they said. She vaguely registered that she’d rolled herself up in her blankets. 

Somehow mentally she was back there again. She was back to over a year ago. Back when nothing was worth it. Why should she try fighting? Her mother, one of the brightest, most caring, biggest lovers of life, best person in the world, was gone. She was gone and now Julie was being punished for having loved her so much that she also ceased to exist for almost a whole year. 

Julie wasn’t sure how much time passed while she was cocooned away. Time was meaningless anyway. What was the point of even moving forward if she was going to keep getting dragged back? 

Julie pulled out her phone. She had Flynn’s text chain pulled open then stopped. What was she supposed to tell Flynn? Flynn had already been so upset that she was going to miss what she had referred to as ‘Julie's first un-mired by grief summer’ and by extension miss out on Julie just enjoying herself again. Eventually she reconciled by stating that she and Julie would just have to have a dedicated girls weekend where she would drag Julie wherever she wanted. 

Flynn had admittedly gotten better about Julie's extended friend group, but Julie had suspicions it was only because Flynn got Julie to herself at school. The more Julie thought of Flynn, the more she knew she had already made her decision where the whole summer school situation was concerned. Even if Flynn wasn’t a concern, she didn’t want to have to redo a full school year.

Julie rolled over onto her stomach and shoved her face into a pillow and screamed until her throat felt raw. She was still feeling numb and was hoping to trigger…something, anything. She was supposed to be better. Was she ever better? Maybe she had always been this numb and hollow and she just didn’t notice. 

She didn’t realize she had fallen asleep until she was blinking her eyes awake. She didn’t know how long she had slept but it was long enough for her mouth to feel disgusting from not being brushed. Slowly she dug herself out of her blankets and winced at the sunlight streaming through her window. It was closer to early dawn light then midday light but after who knows how many hours of self induced darkness it was still too bright. 

She turned towards her door and stopped at the edge of her bed. Sitting in the little entry way of her room were a familiar three ghosts curled on top of themselves. Alex was in the middle with his back to the wall. Reggie was closest to the door, his shoulder leaning into Alex's side. Luke was on the other side, arms attempting to wrap around both of the others. They looked like they were sleeping, whether or not they actually were was up for debate. She was torn between yelling at them about boundaries and finding their pile a tad adorable. 

She closed her eyes and let out a slow breath, and tried to pinpoint what she was feeling at that moment. Nothing came to mind, maybe she was meant to be forever numb. Her thoughts were interrupted by Alex’s low voice. “We figured emotional distress counted as an emergency.”

“What?” she opened her eyes again, Alex was staring at her with that contemplative smile of his. Luke murmured, so he was definitely asleep. Reggie had shifted so his face was buried in Alex’s shoulder.

“I don’t know what happened exactly, but we sort of witnessed your Aunt go on a bit of a rampage. Almost saw your dad have a bit of a breakdown. Heard some things we probably shouldn’t have.” Alex’s eye slowly drifted from hers, she wasn’t sure if it was guilt or pity on his part. “I can’t speak for these two knuckleheads but I am a little worried, about well, everyone honestly.”

She  wasn’t sure what she even should be feeling. It definitely sounded like some boundary crossing had occurred. However, right now them crossing some boundaries and overhearing something meant she didn’t have to talk. She probably should talk to them or about some things more in general. It’s just the talking about things had always been hardest. It’s part of why she struggled so much with Dr. Turner. 

She registered that it’d been a while since Alex had stopped speaking. He was probably waiting for a response from her. “I see.”

That was clearly not the response he or Reggie-apparently-had been expecting. Both eyes shot back to look at her. “Jules, are you ok?” Reggie asked.

Julie didn’t know if it was because he and Alex both looked so worried, if it was how small his voice sounded, or if it was the fact she was pretty sure that was the first time he had called her Jules. Regardless of the reason something deep inside her broke in that moment. All at once she felt overwhelmed by so much frustration over her current situation, so much grief she didn’t realize she had been bottling, so much relief that she had friends so close by. Suddenly her eyes were stingy and warm and she was blinded by an onslaught of tears. 

“No, I’m not.” She managed to choke out. She desperately needed a hug and she wasn’t waiting for them. So she got up and threw herself into Alex, which had the added benefit of including Luke’s arm. When he didn’t initially move on his own Julie pulled Reggie into the hug as well. 

After she managed to calm down, and Luke had woken up, she explained as much as she could remember about the summer school situation. She didn’t let them go the entire time she talked, Although they kept subtly shifting until she found herself now sitting sideways in Alex’s lap, Reggie at her back, and Luke had moved with her to stay at her side. 

“That’s bullshit.” she heard Reggie spit out once she had finished talking.

She chuckled, albeit bitterly, “agreed.”

“No wonder you all were upset.” Luke chimed in, the look she spotted from Alex and the noise from Reggie told her he was just as much a mess as everyone else had been. No one directly called him out. Probably because no one had time to, Luke had now shifted into motivational speaker Luke. “Don’t worry Julie. You’ve got this. And we’ll be here however and whenever you need.”

She felt a small smile on her lips, ‘Thanks guys.”

______

AN: JATP master Ficlist. Where did all this angst come from? This took a life of its own and ran away from me. Debating a secondary Summer School post that would contain the lightheadedness I originally had planned for this. Also I’ve officially decided all these prompts are part of the same larger story, I should come up with a name for it. 

#julie molina #jatp fanfic #julie and the phantoms #julie and her boys #emotional hurt/comfort #creative writing

[otomaze]

CharaMani week 6

Note there are some Cupid Parasite spoilers too (along with the obvious CharaMani ones).

Chapter 8: It initially threw me off to suddenly see a “Chapter 8” instead of going into an LI route, but I really love this structure choice! There’s definitely some necessary plot development that’s common across the three locked LIs, so it’s nice that the game just makes that part a shared route instead of making us repeat it every time. I love common routes and seeing different combinations of characters interacting, so I liked having a new sub-group as well (dear god they’re even more dysfunctional than cleaning route LMAO). 

DAZAI!!! It’s been so long since I spent time with him that I forgot how fond of him I am TT I got VIVIDLY reminded of that in the scene of him and Sena cleaning up, first his panicked shout when he thought Sena was in trouble, then when he implored her to remember… I trust him 1000% He truly wants the best for me. (The Makoto Furukawa of it all… I’ve been getting major CupiPara Allen vibes with how he’s trying to be selfless and keeping quiet about the memories that only he remembers, and I think that’ll be interesting to compare later too.) Also, we get to see a lot of his savage and petty side that we don’t usually see since he generally keeps quiet, so this is so fun!! Plus he did a good job building the table, I think it looks great :) 

Misc thoughts: 

I guess since it’s the common route, Banjo is overbearing again. 

Gyoubu’s impressions of other people xDDD IT’S ALWAYS SO GOOD. Really wish I could save voice lines in this game :’) (so far I remember him imitating Sena in Banjo’s route, and him imitating Dazai in ch 8)

The dramatic irony whenever Futami opens his mouth TTT Every time he talks about working together, or finding the Producer, or whether the Sponsor is in the exiled group… oof. (Also shoutout to him in Gyoubu route for advocating against his own human rights?? Bro why are you signing yourself up to be tortured for information TT Or it’s a genius move to deflect sponsor suspicion.)

Their whole theory that the supply chain would be impacted if they exiled the Sponsor(s) is a good premise, but has major holes in it. It would work fine if they had successfully found all Sponsors, but they haven’t accounted for missing at least one (I don’t think the game has outright brought up multiple Sponsors). Just as importantly, if they had accidentally targeted only innocent people, then the strategic move by the Sponsor(s) would be to still disrupt supplies in order to frame some innocent people. So basically there’s a good chance of both false negatives and false positives using their reasoning. Well, I guess we’ve seen that no one here is a perfect logician anyway but still wanted to point that out.

How has Sena forgotten something (past round?) if she and Banjou are with each other every day? Do I need to question both of their alibis??

I only JUST realized that clearing LI routes will unlock short story episodes. I had been searching through the flowcharts trying to figure out which ones I hadn’t unlocked lol. I’ll do all of them at the end, reliving my route order.

Route order: I decided I’m going to go Haiji (least favorite out of them) > Gyoubu (my silly little guy!) > Dazai (feels like finale material). I was actually planning for Dazai to be my first route since I liked him and trusted him in the beginning, so it feels like neat little bookends to do his route last. He’s always been a little protective of Sena, and now with him saying she’s forgotten something… Idk it just feels like a good route to do last! This order also happens to be my current most to least suspicious. Or, maybe not quite that, more like, least to most trusted? Or who I feel like has the best intentions at heart?

Haiji route:

WE FINALLY GOT THE FIRST BAD ENDING OF THE GAME?

Anyway, this route had THE COOLEST moment of the game when Haiji forced you back into redoing the decisions until you say you trust him. The escalation of him going from just turning the qualia system on/off and conjuring sweets, to force-starting a drama, then to the game itself… incredible. I just wish we could’ve lingered longer in that unease as we see him mess with Arcadia’s system. Also I think it would’ve been so funny if he literally sent you back to the beginning of the game if you accuse him as Producer > refuse to be with him. Can you imagine pressing the skip button and then it starts skipping through all the text and just… doesn’t stop? LMAO. 

Not sure if Haiji feels very convincing as an LI though? The way I’ve been describing it is that his route feels like an extended BE (possibly because I’ve only played the BE) or like what would normally be a hidden LI route (though hiding it here would be even worse in terms of spoilers). The relationship development is pretty brief and they can only be together if Sena turns away from her goals and embraces escapism. (Not Sena questioning if the Producer’s identity is even important… truly a jaw-dropping line…)  I mean, I like those kinds of twisted, yandere BEs, so I can enjoy that about the route, it just feels different. Also, Haiji’s behavior isn’t different enough from when he was pretending to be twelve, so it’s still hard for me to actually feel like he’s an LI.

At this point I stopped and avoided the choice where you accuse him of being the Producer – things were looking pretty damning for him and I wanted to save that branch if it was the true end. It did seem like I was missing a lot of content, since I didn’t see the normal ED movie and was still missing CGs.

Gyoubu route:

GYOUBU!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I AM NOT IMMUNE TO WHEN THE TRICKSTER CHARACTER FINALLY GET QUIET AND SERIOUS AND VULNERABLE TTTTTTT when he was begging her for proof (permission) to trust her TTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTT and the wistfulness when imagining how it might be to be to sit next to her in class TTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTT the voice acting when his voice gets soft and serious TTTTTTTTTTTTTTT

I think one great thing about this route is that right from the start, we have Sena proactively investigating and really trying to confront her inner conflict about dis/trusting people. I feel like this route has been the best in terms of dealing with that. Maybe part of that is because I played it right after Haiji’s route, where the whole point of it was avoidance of any difficult questions.

I think the relationship development was pretty good in this route too (but also may be biased since i already liked Gyoubu so much anyway lol). The confession and affection wasn’t just crammed at the end, there were a few different points in the story where it almost felt like it would be the end of the route (the CG w their interlocked hands and the night sky for example) and I had to remind myself that we still hadn’t figured out the Akase stuff. I think this route is helped by the fact that their difference in personalities contributes to both their relationship dynamic and the plot, so the two aspects of the route are driven by the same force and don’t feel disconnected. The later parts of the route are also based on them working together instead of resolving suspicion like in many other routes, which also helps make the relationship feel like a progression. 

I was a little surprised by how much the last part focused on Gyoubu’s history with Dazai (maybe since there was that recent thread about how people felt about LIxLI content in games, so I was primed to look for things like that). I guess in retrospect it’s the culmination of the unanswered question of Gyoubu’s motivation + the burgeoning friendship between Dazai and Gyoubu in chapter 8. Still, the game is now extremely focused on what Sena (and Gyoubu) have forgotten, and I wish there had been more buildup of that in earlier parts of the game. When Sena talked about how she always felt like there had been something missing or forgotten, I was like… that would’ve been nice to know earlier? She talked about it as something she had always lived with, but we’re only just now hearing about it (unless I missed something). Also I’m just not a fan of having the main character watching everything happen… I mean I enjoy the story of it, I’m anticipating what the whole deal with the previous round was, but I wish Sena had more of a role in proving Gyoubu’s/Dazai’s credibility and sending everyone home than just sitting by and watching their drama. 

It also took me a really long time to put together the whole Dazai thing, I was just thinking their little spats were cute and it was funny that there was one-way trust (like when someone’s your best friend but you’re not theirs TT). It was only until Gyoubu was literally explaining it that I realized, Oh, Dazai. Gyoubu requested an eye penalty specifically to echo the penalty Dazai took for him. There’s also another resonance between them, as so far they (and Akase) are the only ones who’ve chosen to stay behind so the others can leave. And it’s nice to get further confirmation that Dazai’s a good person but the way Gyoubu talked about it reminded me of how Futami talked about the Producer (someone who would reach out a helping hand to anyone), so :/ don’t like that but I still trust Dazai.

Gyoubu and Ebana’s friendship… I couldn’t quite pin it down before since there were things that didn’t add up, but it’s nice to finally see that it’s genuine, or at least they can rely on each other! I do think it’s touching that the two most abrasive, uncooperative, annoying, openly distrustful people (I have a point here I promise) had chosen to place their trust in another person, and that their very ability to exist unobstructed in Arcadia hinged on the other maintaining that promise. Even though it was a mutually-assured-destruction type of situation, it’s wild to think that Gyoubu just made that proposal on night one and they both kept it until now, even going above and beyond to keep that secret for the other. Gyoubu’s friendship game is insane. 

It’s interesting to see how Gyoubu was following his own principle for determining if people were suspicious (if they suspected him, they were more likely to be innocent since actual Producers/Sponsors know the identities). Everyone, both characters and the players themselves, operate with their own ideas of what would constitute suspicious behavior. (For me, I thought blending in too well with the group and having the opportunity/competence to do things were suspicious.) Also, he notes that being a previous cast member doesn’t clear someone of suspicion which, yes!!! exactly!!

Also it’s so funny how the last routes are just like, no-holds-barred interference with other LIs. Either open suspicion and interrupting their alone time, or vouching for them and giving a stamp of approval for the relationship. 

Suspicion: Gyoubu at the end of his route said that the Producer wasn’t the one really betraying them (maybe NOIRC is?) so I decided to go back and finish Haiji’s route (thinking he was the Producer, but that wouldn’t be the finale reveal). He’s neither Director (which we know, I think it was Iochi’s route where they said it was a very advanced AI?) nor Producer??? Huh???  I guess there’s something else you need to unlock (still have an unknown part of his route’s flowchart) or an actual finale route (Director secret LI???? LOL jk but yellow is still an unclaimed theme color and this is not my first rodeotome.)

Honestly I went back to suspecting Akase a little since we know there’s a mole or something fishy going on with info HQ/NOIRC, but that stuff with Futami hard clears Akase. And Iochi’s route ending was too bleak for me to suspect them. Gyoubu also said that he could guess the real mastermind (notably, he didn’t say Producer) thanks to clues from Sena. Which again suggests Haiji, as he was the other one most involved in Gyoubu’s route (Dazai and Gyoubu are besties).

This is my last chance for theories so let’s just go through all my remaining questions and improbable answers: 

Haiji:

Why’s he Like This if he’s not Producer?

Why does he have so much control over Arcadia’s system? (Maybe just because he’s been here so long? After all, Gyoubu did have some control and he said he had to build the programs from scratch)

What exactly were the conditions of his game with the Producer? (He said he won against “that guy” after Sena accused him, so maybe his win condition is to be accused as Producer? It’s a common role in werewolf style games. Or his comment also suggested that it has to do with betting whether Sena will remember her memories/people will remember Dazai. Was the Producer betting on the side of human emotions overcoming all?)

Is he human? He keeps making sweeping comments about what humans are like, and he’s unfamiliar with emotions and cold (literally, physically). My ideas were isekaijin (though he doesn’t feel muddy) or partly an AI. 

For the AI theory: he made gestures like the Director, who was hypothesized to be a kind of AI earlier, has been raised on videos but not real experiences, has some control over Arcadia’s systems/programs, and feels kinship even with non-living things. Also he’s in some ways similar to the Bouncers, an even more primitive level of AI: it was pointed out once again in his route that Sena is unexpectedly kind to Bouncers, and his actions when playing games are extremely predictable (Gyoubu’s complaint about Bouncers; Haiji pantomiming ice cream for the charades game).

Last round:

How exactly did the last round end? Multiple people have spoken ominously about the way they were able to return (Ebana in ch8, I think Gyoubu too, and Dazai saying he’ll never leave Sena behind might also count. It seems like it also ended in a “either one person or everyone but one person returns”. There were some other comments but I can’t really remember the exact phrasing and don’t know where to check for them TT)

What happened in the last round/what have Sena and Gyoubu forgotten?

Why was Dazai erased from everything? (It feels like a special game/bet with the Producer? Also maybe a plot hole but why is he still in the roster if he was so totally erased from every other kind of record)

Why did it feel like Dazai was intentionally cutting off any further discussion at the end of Gyoubu’s route?

→ Okay writing it out, I guess we could piece it together like: last round Sena was the one to stay behind so the others could go home; but Dazai had won some sort of concession from the Producer to be able to switch places with her,  though in return he’s erased from all their memories; and part of the conditions are that he can’t interfere with her process of remembering (which is why he ended things suddenly?)

Misc:

Repeated theme of the connection between appearances and reality: Introduced during the lecture at school when the teacher says to confirm things with your own two eyes, but the experience of Arcadia casts doubt on experience being equivalent to evidence. Futami and also Gyoubu stress that things are not what they appear and that Sena should be careful not to get fooled, meanwhile Haiji seems to say that appearance is as good as reality since if the bangles can make unwanted things invisible, it’s like they don’t exist.

Still not sure... why the Producer picked these cast members. Maybe bc they each kind of need something from Arcadia (prev cast members with regrets, Sponsors with no better options, people trying to take down Arcadia, etc) but that feels so vague? I'm sorry Chigasaki i have failed u

Is Sena’s mom a sponsor or connected to the broadcasts from NOIRC? She had viewing access to them, tried to convince Sena to just forget what she saw, and also is very positive about the Morpheus project.

Dazai: Two random things from earlier in the game: he seems anxious to get back to school (supposedly a different one from Sena's, but he might just be hiding their connections?) and we still don't know why he made somewhat strained comments about his older siblings (u have no idea the wild theories i had about this. at one point i was staring at each character's eyes to see if they were similar to Dazai's (for a hot minute I entertained the thought of Futami being Dazai's older brother))

There’s like. World-buildy stuff like Ioichi’s route and the moons being used for access whatever bases and I’m just not getting into that. 

That building they use for exiling people and how there’s older technology there, and the records and laptop that they were unable to touch? There’s some kind of connection to how Arcadia’s based on the past and possibly also Haiji’s tower of junk. Idk I’m so bad at this I’m just taking the L.

Speaking of, there's also that area that Akase was trying to break apart in Futami's route. Those sleeping pod things seem like places you could keep people as you trap their mind in a VR-cadia.