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#(not so) hated by life itself

oceanwithouthermoon · 1 month

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ive never liked powerless saiki aus because the entire conclusion of the series is him accepting his powers as being a part of him that he cant change so like.. in aus where the power remover works, half of his development is erased..

if he had been "powerless" for longer, we wouldve gotten to see him realize this himself and im genuinely sad that we didnt.. we got to see him realize that being powerless wasnt the change he wished it would be and that its something he cant change, but its literally over a two day long period and we miss out on sooo much potential development..

and then in aus where hes born powerless, people think he would have the exact personality and development that he THOUGHT he would if he got rid of/didnt have his powers, like NO ? "without powers he would be another satou-" NO he would be a shy, borderline flamboyant, weird, awkward, genius LOSER.

he would have a more normal relationship with his brother (still probably competitive but in a way more average sibling way and kusuke wouldnt have had the motivation to become so murderous) and he would probably be even more friendless but with less trauma.. he may or may not have ever befriended akechi at all, and the classroom incident wouldnt have happened.. even some of his current friends might not be around if not for coincidences due to his powers or direct involvement from his powers.. (nendo and kaido would for sure still be there though, but this only ensures the idea that he would be the biggest fcking loser ever)

he would still be saiki, but. his powers are a key part of him. he would be totally different without them, but NOT in the way he thinks he would..

#also realistically he would be just as much of a stubborn asshole tsundere without his powers cmon #like yea his anxiety might present itself more as shyness than it does in canon him #but hes still an awkward stubborn asshole tsundere like thats just who the guy is #hes extra shy and maybe extra cute without his abilities to make people not find him cute #and is also like extremely ditzy and clumsy like he is in canon but its more visible to people because he doesnt have the powers to hide it #idk the point is his little quirks he thinks he wouldnt have would still be there but he wouldnt have the same faux justifications for them #need canon saiki to see an alternate universe him where he was born powerless #and hes like 'wow im going to see my ideal average me!'#and then au him is some super quirky ditzy clumsy kid with severe anxiety and also dysphoria #and he doesnt have powers to avoid being bullied like we see him do multiple times #this guy doesnt realize he will always be a loser no matter what #he loses key parts of himself and doesnt even realize that a lot of the parts left behind are still parts of himself that he hates #i know a lot of people think he would be much less jaded powerless which i get but #a lot of aspects of his personality that have less to do with his powers are a lot of the parts that he doesnt like and gets made fun of fo #so he would probably only be slightly less jaded and his awkwardness would just weigh it out a little more #though its hard to pinpoint exactly which aspects of him are only due to his powers #a lot of them are but i personally think those specific key personality traits would remain #anyway i would love to see what his relationship with his family would be like if he was born powerless #and i want to know who his friends would be #saiki k #tdlosk #the disastrous life of saiki k.#saiki kusuo #meows post

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crsentfairy · 16 days

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i was going to write yet another dissertation on how violent fatphobia manifests in terms of desirability and attractiveness in women when addressing incels .. but then i sat outside on my back patio to smell the spring air and feel the crispness of its wind hit me across my face a few hours ago. i saw some strays, my neighbor's inflatable pool, the train loudly passing overhead. i was fat then; and i'm still fat even now as i'm typing this. i was fat when i had pets who i adored and they adored me just as much. i was fat when i picked up a new skill or learned a new fact. i was fat when i went through very painful moments that made me silently scream. i'm fat now as i'm experiencing some of the happiest moments of my life.

point i'm making is, people of the world hate fat women. but everything else in said world still loves us the same.

#crsent.txt #to actively stop hating yourself for being fat you must contend with the hard truth that losing weight will only make others treat u better #not life itself. and that's so beautiful

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prototypelq · 5 months

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The Most Unreliable Narrator I Have Ever Seen

soooooo I had a Cyberpunk-obsessed phase pass recently, and this time Johhny Silverhand's character caught my eye. His story, more specifically, and how... inconsistent he seems, depending on each source.

In the game, Johhny acts like a bastard for most of the game. He panic-rages on his first meeting with V, throws many threats around, but is later beaten into the background with the blocker pills Misty gave to V. Even Johnny's friends' are well, they react Loudly to his return. Y'know, make it known his presence alone provokes a lot of anger from them.

Even during his first appearance, when V gets thrown into Silverhand's memories of his SAMURAI concert, the only real thing V recalls is the all-consuming rage that he felt, which he tried to shout out through the microphone, but it never felt like enough.

And doesn't this sound weird then, that the only thing Johnny does throughout the game after that first meeting is help V out? He learns about the Smasher guy hideout at the docks (he does that through dubious means but that's Johnny for you), he helps V out when the seizures become worse, he calmly agrees to Any decision V makes, despite V clearly Not being in any real state to oppose him in the finale of the game, he plans the whole thing with "Alt" so V can get his body back at Johnny's own expense, from the beginning, and he doubles down on that claim at the end of the game.

Do you see the dissonance? The egoist rockerboy that admitted to using his friends to getting what he wants, and the downright self-sacrificing hero and a friend that is Johnny at the end of the game? People change, sure, but this divide is very massive and too sudden, so I wanted to dig into that. And what I've stumbled upon, with the help of canon Cyberpunk materials like the Red sourcebook (or, more specifically, LayedBackGamers' reading of the canon books and his lore videos on different topics), is that

Johhny Silverhand from Cyberpunk 2077 is the Most Unreliable Narrator I've Ever Seen.

Count with me here:

Johhny's personality in general. No matter what your interpretation of him his, it's impossible to ignore that Johhny is very much a people person and he exploits that knowledge and charisma to suit his own goals. If you choose to trust him, then you might have already been played.

2) Johhny has been alone, only his lovely self for 50+ years inside the Arasaka chip. Don't ask me how he is still even remotely sane, I haven't got a clue (hopefully the time as a construct without outside stimulation flies differently and he hasn't felt those 50 years in real time). The thing to mention here, however, is that, being alone with your thoughts and emotions for a long time, having nothing else for entertainment, is a great opportunity to rewrite your own memory of events or emotions you've felt.

3) Lack of a body. The aforementioned constant rage, that was the dominant emotion is Johnny's life (before Alt, at least, if Never Fade Away is anything to go by, and I mean, that's literally a love ballad), is a symptom of his PTSD from his too-young years serving in the corpo war, same as his signature silver hand. I'm not a specialist here, but I do know PTSD, especially for war veterans, is a physiological illness just as much as it is a mental one. Johnny's body literally had trouble living normally after that experience, and knowing this bastard - he never managed to treat that. Existing as a personality construct frees him from the many bonuses of being corporeal, but it also free him from the physiological side of PTSD. His day-to-day existence is fundamentally different from that of the Johnny Silverhand that the world knew 50 years ago, so yes, as a 'time traveler' or a source of information and comparison about the 70's and 20's of cyberpunk world Johhny is not a good source.

4) The chip with Johnny is literary inside the head of another person. The characters in game question, multiple times, just which decisions is V making on his own, and which of them might be Johnny's doing. Not consciously, no, but V and Johnny are clearly not your simple neighbours. They are not your 'close friends that start subconsciously copying each other' too. It is quite possible that the chip with Johhny is adapting to the 'hardware' it is running on, so it is specifically implementing parts of V's personality into Johnny, to minimize the 'friction' between the personality and the body it is supposed to inhabit. Everyone say hi to existential horror)

5) How does Soulkiller ever work? Is there data on how much the resulting engram actually resembles the person it tried to copy? How did the process of copying Johnny go? I can answer the last one - very badly.

Death of Johnny is told in excruciating detail in the Cyberpunk sourcebooks. Johnny died on the floor of Arasaka tower, torn in two by a shotgun blast from Smasher. There is no information on how much time it takes Soulkiller to create the engram from the brain, but it better have finished doing that before Johnny's brain started dying from a lack of blood and oxygen, and he clearly didn't have much time either, considering bisection is not the best for bodily fluid preservation, so it's a wonder the engram even works properly. Plus, during the initial heist to steal the chip with Johnny, the chip was damaged further before the idiots decided to stick an unknown harddrive into their heads to preserve it. Basically, it's nothing short of a miracle, that engram-Johnny is actually a whole damn person, that he can function, think and feel properly (well, as much as Johnny can do those things)

It is very sad that V can't talk to Johnny about this, as the man does blame himself over things he hasn't even done, and he had done enough emotional damage to himself and people around him without that kind of burden on top of it.

6) Johnny's memories are literally false. The attentive reader had to pick this up in my previous point - didn't Johnny die in the hands of Arasaka after they interrogated him? Nope. Nope, and I can say that confidently because,

(drumroll please)

Cyberpunk tabletop sourcebooks! Mike Pondsmith, the creator of the Cyberpunk universe and the TTRP series of games, has worked closely with CDPR writers during the production of the 2077. He oversaw everything, and he says that 2077 is in the same cyberpunk universe too, it's not an 'alternate reality' or anything.

Johnny Silverhand died while trying to buy time for his friends to escape, from a shotgun shot from Adam Smasher. That's it, he died on that floor, there was noone to interrogate, no rooftop helicopter he ran for.

The sequence of 'memories' we see from Johnny's POV in the game is a mishmash of two different assaults on the Arasaka towers, yes towers there were two of them. There is a great video explaining all the small and Major details Johnny's version of events got wrong, because we have the sourcebooks and the text inside. You may accuse me of holding a 'holy canon' argument ... and well, yeah, this is kind of holy knowledge, as it was written for gamemasters.

Still, some of the things in Johnny's version are Major, and while the media certainly covered the whole story extensively with corpo propaganda (oh, btw, Johnny didn't bomb anything, he probably didn't even know there was a nuke involved, he is literally just a scapegoat), there are some holes that a citizen of this world might know and wish to poke. The aforementioned Two Arasaka towers, or the absence of the legendary solo Morgan Blackhand from Johnny's story. Interestingly enough, there is a radiostation of Maximum Mike in-game, who is actually just pretty much Mike Pondsmith, and he does propose a couple of questions the 'official' version of the attack doesn't cover (like, where would a rockerboy even get a nuke, he might have been popular, but that's not just something you find without military contracts, and that means corporations). Another thing is that since Arasaka owns Soulkiller and has had the engram for a couple of decades, it is quite possible they are the ones responsible for messing with Johnny's memories.

So uh, yeah, Johnny is the Most Unrealible Narrator I have ever seen. Johnny of 2077 is most certainly not the Johnny of 2020's, but this might be a good thing. Maybe the 'real' 2020's Silverhand could never have made the progress the engram did, or become such a good friend and companion for V, or maybe he could have done those things too. We'll never know. I really love this story anyway.

#thanks for reading #johnny totally deserves a second chance at life after this why cant he and johnny show alt the finger and delta out of there #so v could live out his days and then johnny would take over #on the other hand johnny is a great example that being an engram is not the end so maybe v could come back in some sort of form later #after giving alt the finger #btw thats not alt either that's probably just an ai that caught little wind of actual alt and just calls itself her #also alt herself might be alive but that story is WEIRD so no idea #cyberpunk lore is great i had an amazing time listening to it and discovering new things #mike pondsmith is also amazing heard a cyberpunk red campaign he mastered and listening to him has been a blast he is a true storyteller #cyberpunk 2077 #cyberpunk red #legends of night city #mike pondsmith #johnny silverhand #phantom liberty #this is the first and last time I praise cdpr after that back to hate for the ps4 version of the game i go #and for refusing to update the game for that platform and for not releasing the dlc for it and for upping the system reqs even higher #ill live to see actual 2077 before I get access to hardware that can run that shit #btw existential horror enjoyers I sure do hope you have heard of SOMA )))#oh i also dont think johnny was that bad in life either like he was bad but rogue and kerry are clearly happy to have him back so the game #must've shown just a very low time for him he had to be a good friend to earn that kind of loyalty still could behave like a bastard tho

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ahollowgrave · 3 months

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11. Blood at the corner of your mouth.

It is not your blood at the edge of your mouth. Not your blood that your tongue swipes from the corner of your lips. Not your blood whose coppery tastes lingers between your teeth.

But he fucking deserved it.

Sister Kindness has you tucked under her arm as she, to use her words, books it. Something she must not do often because she huffs and puffs her way through the crowded Shaded Bower. And though some call out ‘Sister’ to her with warm recognition she does not stop ‘booking’ it. (Sister Kindness would have you know that she is perfectly in shape for a woman of her age. She was ‘huffing and puffing’ from the extra weight of carrying you, thank you very much.)

She slows when the westshore pier appears around the corner and then she steps off the main path and sets you down. Kneeling to be something more like eye-level, she pulls a Roegadyn-sized handkerchief from the depths of her habit. Wetting a corner with a flask pulled from a separate, equally confusing pocket she begins to clean the blood from your face.

Sister Kindness’ hand is firm where it grips your chin, holding as little of you as possible. For once the contact does not send you recoiling. Perhaps it is the way your rage has left you as quickly as it had flooded you, leaving you feeling drained of everything else as well. Now that the moment has passed you tremble and, to your horror, you can feel a well of tears rising to fill that empty space.

“Was a helluva bite, darling girl,” Sister Kindness’s voice is quiet as she tilts your head to the light, searching for any blood she may have missed. You focus on her creek colored eyes and swear you feel their waters lapping at your ankles. Her smile is sudden but woozy around the edges; she is just as shaken. "Reckon he'll have a scar, too. Bet he lies about who gave it to him." ‘He’ was an elezen man -- maybe a merchant but likely not, as Sister Kindness did not know him -- with a face as sharp as his ears and a smile that spoke of too much confidence. And you had hated him on sight. His crime was making Sister Kindness uncomfortable and his mistake was not being aware of his surroundings.

It does not take much pressure to break skin.

Pleased with her work, Sister Kindness rises and disappears the handkerchief away. Handing you the flask, she instructs you to take a sip, swirl it around your mouth, and spit it out. There is some confusion about what 'swirl' means but, eventually, she is satisfied with this too. “Well, we didn’t get what I came for but we’ll be headed home all the same. Come now, before the ferry leaves without us. We will, ah, not be telling the abbess about this.” You don’t know if she means the bite or the trip to the city.

You don’t ask.

Thank you for the ask, Anon! ][ Sensory Prompts ][

#Answered #Pigeon Writing #Sister Kindness #Sister Patience #<- tags for odette/convent stuff as it's her nun name #i have just decided this #which means I will forget it thank you #but also thank you for the ask anon this one wrote itself more or less !!#posting this before i think too much about it #i am lowkey trying to stop writing only second person pov because I've had enough people casually tell me the hate it #(not my writing like specifically but just the pov in general)#(which is normal and fine !!! just sometimes disheartening like life is sometimes)#but the prompt used 'you' and gestures #but also sister kindness why do these merchants greet you warmly HUH!?#aren't you suppose to be living a secluded life of holy contemplation HUH SISTER KINDNESS???#(i remove my hands from the keyboard so i stop editing the tags)#(brains are dumb why do we even HAVE these)

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drkineildwicks · 9 days

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Felt like elaborating more on this post--and also because I couldn't get the second image out of my head. XD Do love how this implies that the boys will behave for Aunt Cass but as soon as Tadashi's left in charge all bets are off. X'D

As before, I'm not a fan of the chibi style but since this was such a simple concept I went for it (although it being closer to the Animal Crossing style baffles me because I've never played those games). Also I don't doubt that Hiro had a harness when he was little and that Tadashi still pulls it out when he's making a point he's looking into one for Obake too.

Okay back to work. As always please be kind and reblog, not repost, thank you!

Done in Adobe Photoshop

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sleepyhomosexual · 6 months

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what should i do? (eat breakfast)

what should i do? (eat lunch)

what should i do? (eat dinner)

what should i do? (go to bed)

where can i go? (go to the store)

where can i go? (apply for jobs)

where can i go? (to a friends)

where can i go? (go to bed)

I am almost completely soulless

i am incapable of being human

i am incapable of being inhuman

i am living uncontrollably

we said we hated humans

we wanted to be humans

we said we hated humans

we wanted to be humans

get more groceries, get eaten

And it was my favorite scene

i couldn't tell you what it means

but it meant something to me

your ears perked up

i perked up when your ears perked up

you were all looking around

and i hoped it was for me

i hoped you were using your sonar systems for me

Beach Life-In-Death - Car seat Headrest

#everything keeps repeating itself nothings new i hate living like this i hate it i hate it #i love this song so much its coursing through my veins #beach life in death #car seat headrest

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vv-ispy · 2 days

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anyway my other venti's history shaping how he is headcanon is that as a wisp he was rarely taken seriously — people are kind to him and will put faith in him due to his being an elemental being, but between a little wind wisp vs a storm god, the wisp isn't doing much they're in the middle of the archon war, great strong gods are getting struck down all the time. (Even later as a god he's seen as the weakest god, possibly the god with the unlikiest of origins out of a group who were gods and powerful being before reaching archonhood)

But the bard treats him not as a contender, not as a god candidate, not even as their hope to take down Decarabian but as a friend.

So he doesn't take himself seriously either, he knows he has the power now yes but habits remain and he doesn't want to be a tyrannt, and in the end the most impactful relationship in his life will always be the bard who treated him not for his role or his potential but as a friend to love and cherish and understand

#diona and venti's interaction during the alchemy event my beloved #local drunkard and alcohol lover is genuinely interested in why the kid? teen? --idk how old diona is-- hates alcohol #diona and her hatred of alcohol has probably also never been taken seriously in the alcohol city of mondstadt #vs venti 'i'll take you seriously i'm interested to know i'll keep you company and help you'#god i imagine the bard and venti had SO many talks and discussions as they grapple with the rebellion #and not just about the rebellion itself but the bard's dreams and troubles and each other and #and teenagehood being the 'developing an understanding of yourself and the world time' vs the micromanaged environment they grey up under #i think all of that influenced venti and his method of ruling a lot #genshin talk #one of my favourite fics also touches on venti-not-taken-seriously via a zhongven relationship kinda #angsty fic. very good #god killer on ao3 #gotta stuff bardven into the headcanon though the bard is the biggest influence in venti's early life imo

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ifindus · 6 months

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Back with some more Norwegian Regions! ✨

Molde football club had a match against German Bayer Leverkusen in the Europa League last week. Norwegian football teams ending up in group play in Europa League is pretty big and many national newspapers will say that we need to band together as a nation and support the teams that make it. However, everyone hates Molde - especially people from Trøndelag.

So, when I, my German friend who is a fan of Leverkusen, and another friend of us drove to Molde to watch the game, we all rooted for Leverkusen. My friend was a little unsure whether if they should wear their Leverkusen shirt or not - meanwhile I clearly wore the colours of Rosenborg (Trøndelag's football team) and our friend wore Bodø/Glimt (Northern-Norway's best football team) colours and merch.

Shout-out to my friend who said: "this is the beginning of a bad joke; a german, a trønder, and a northerner walk into a Molde game, and all of them support the germans".

#norwegian regions #hws norwegian regions #aph norwegian regions #hetalia ocs #aph trøndelag #aph vestlandet #aph nord-norge #hws trøndelag #hws vestlandet #hws nord-norge #hate hate hate Molde by!#this is the kind of shit I love with hetalia etc:#being able to illustrate funny interactions between nations and regions based on things that happen in my life #I feel like you must really be into football to really understand this tho 😅😅#our dialects revealed us too!! Clearly they heard we were not there to support them - which trønder goes to Molde to support them??#love how regional newspapers in Trøndelag were just shitting on Molde regardless 😂😂 it is ingrained in our culture #a previous Rosenborg player scored a goal against Molde in another Europa League game and he was interviewed after-#he said he did his duty as a trønder when they asked if it felt bad scoring against a Norwegian team 😂😂😂 love you Midtsjø #also Aker Stadion in Molde was so shit compared to Lerkendal omg 👀 I mean - the stadion in itself was fine but the atmosphere was shit #ik Rosenborg is shit rn but at least the games on Lerkendal has a nice vibe regardless

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