#*something that isnt my job that is

[laquilasse]

you would not know which one of these guys is the main character based on how I draw them

#mp100 #mob psycho #ritsu kageyama #shigeo kageyama #kageyama brothers #mp100 ritsu #mp100 mob #my art #i love drawing super shitty on my ipad and then getting on storyboard pro to do my job and being able to bust something out immediately #*something that isnt my job that is

[moeblob]

I am really tired of a situation rn.

#fe three houses #felix hugo fraldarius #me using felix on my angy days because he is my angersona? you bet! #anyway if you want to try to get someones money or something bc you hurt your own car banging into mine #can you try to be a bit more timely with it buddy come on you hit me on feb29 ! #why am i getting your insurance company calling me today ! #also i would like to point out i didnt do it and neither of us were hurt and i filed a claim with my own insurance comp #and also filed a police report bc he didnt even suggest calling the cops to the scene #so like yeah hey man maybe you and your insurance company can move a lil faster or smth #literally everything that happened the day of is - according to my dad - an intimidation tactic #i look like im 15 and he probably thinks he can take advantage of a new driver but ya know! tough luck! #im just really tired and stressed over multiple things not negative so getting this on top of it was like #bro .................... anyway my phone didnt pick up for some reason so i called back and then nothing got resolved #cause the person who actually called me wasnt around to connect the line to from the guy who answered #idk man just its a lot despite my v minimal energy #got a job interview on monday tho ! and then also next week is an eye exam #and you might be thinking isnt that a good thing to get your eyes checked? you are correct but i am horrified #there are two body parts that give me absolute anxiety and eyes are one of them #and i know my eye sight is declining and im just v anxious #its fine im going to be fine i just have to be anxious about it

[pikbro]

cool dogs

#its so crazy how 2 of my current favorite things have dogs in them #heehaheha #im so nromal #ANWYAYS this is my first time drawing oatchi and i think i did a real good job #this isnt my first time drawing oddsock but i managed to actually make him look good this time so that counts for something i think #pikmin and lbp have had similar gaps between games which is funny i think #saba does not count #pikmin was winning by a singular year #pikmin 3 came out in 2013 and lbp3 came out in 2014 #maybe lbp will take the lead if we dont get anything in the next year or so lol #anwyasy im talking too much. tag time #littlebigplanet #little big planet #oddsock #oddsock lbp #pikmin #pikmin fanart #pikmin 4 #oatchi #oatchi pikmin #my art #i cant believe i forgot my fuckimg art tag

[lemongogo]

can i ask.how u guys practice ur creativity <3 how u practice ur imagination or like.. how u experiment with ur art, how u come to ideas and how u develop them.<3 pretty please <3

#smthing i have always struggled w.is feeling like i can only draw things that r handed 2 me. #as in.an idea or concept that already exists #chara or conflict that already exists.Scene that alr exists. #and i think it can be soo limiting bc when i have that sort of creative desire but nothing 2 reflect off of it #i feel like im unable to do anything/get anywhere bc im unable to do that mental legwork myself ykwim #like comic artists r SOOO JAW DROP INSPIRING TO MEE bc not only are u envisioning ur own sequences/situations #but u are able to imagine even the most MUNDANE interactions within those scenarios u know #like the transitory panels and the quiet moments and the every day stillness #and i feel like.its not even a poor attempt on my behalf its like.i cant Even attempt it.like my brain is soo empty #and soo static and noiseless that i am like gauhh...... #i can practice lines all day long and practice colors and practice anatomy or Whatever bc its something concrete #and its in front of me and i can pry apart the physical technicalities until i understand it better #but my MIND???ABSTRACTION>? THOUGHTS .ough its so hard #and i really want to push past that but i dont know how and its so .. demoralizing to think that ill get there One Day but i feel #one million and two days away.and not making active process towards it. #i know the first step is to build ur visual library and i feel liek. idk i FEEL LIKEEE theres more 2 it that im missing #but also im depressed as hell n my job is killing my creative drive and the seasonal stuff isnt helping #so maybe i just need 2 give it time (true) but i also like.man i dont know. i want 2 do something w my hands #but everything ive been doing so far has felt soo .hard and fruitless and i definitely dont want 2 turn art into such a stressful thing #fruitless as in like.i dont get any personal satisfaction w it.idgaf abt monetization or algorithms or any of tht #but smtimes thats just what happens and i have 2 weather through and know ill be more equipped 4 this some other time #SAWRYYY IM ALWAYS GOING ON AND ONNN im nromal im normal<3 i just rly like art and it sucks balls whn it feels out of reach #sigh cry fart scroll.(:salute:)

[partiallypoison]

there should be a job that pays me to blog all day about my chemical romance

#i just need something that isnt as physically demanding as my current job. #i cant stand for 8+ hours a day anymore #and definitely not for what i am getting paid #shut up cieara

[likamakil]

breaking my silence to behild y’all… a product of my brainrot. i read @maariaaargh ‘s webcomic Phantomland recently and im stuck. like any stuck person would do, i made a phantomland ver. of my persona/oc. damn, i hope i got lore right.

also haha chie for height comparison. small people…

bonus:

jon and chie live reaction

#kumori’s bad at their job #intentionally #everyone’s pain in the ass #god i hope this isnt like… cringe #ITS BEEN A WHILE SINCE I POSTED SOMETHING LIKE THIS #or anything at all actually #dude my rot is just so bad #WHAT EVEN ARE MY TAGS #my art #phantomland #kumori/inari #kumori #inari #my oc

[ninjasmudge]

people really will say shit like 'the fic i found hasn't updated in a whole month so i think its been abandoned which is a shame, i wanted to read more' like where do you even get the nerve

#this definitely isnt abt my fic dw #this is me seeing other people start talking about fics in past tense if they havent updated in a little while #as if fic writers are your content creators that are writing for you and need to do it every day to keep the algorithm happy #ao3 doesnt have an algorithm and tiktok and other social media really really does rot your brain #like its a very specific level of anger that arises in me when i see people demanding shit for free constantly from random strangers #just because you liked something they made you think your entitled to tell thrm what to do? to demand more? #to tell them what to invest their time in when most of them have full jobs?? #theres not many things in life that get that deep anger from me but people like that really do #shark talks #l #for me its usually when i post a comic and some idiot is like 'part two?' in the replies immedietly its like. u didnt even reblog #or say you liked it. its a standalone comic what fuckin part 2 do you even want? #you dont even know youre just so used to demanding things like a child that you do it automatically

[fizzingwizard]

dear internet stop throwing pictures of beautifully toasted bagels slathered in cream cheese at me i don't have a toaster i don't have room in my teeny kitchenette for a toaster a toaster is a luxury here in japan as are bagels as is cream cheese

bagel places here that ask me "do you want that heated up" make me want to cry tears of joy even though all they mean is they're gonna stick the bagel in the microwave for ten seconds so it's slightly warm-ish but not enough to crisp up or melt the cream cheese a little

#food #closest bagel place to me has two options blueberry bagel or white choco chip #its fortunate that i love blueberry but anyway that shows the general mindset towards bagels here they're sweet snacks more or less #hard to find everything bagel or onion bagel etc #i havent been home since before covid but my primary reason for wanting to is i neeeed a nyc bagel #and real mac n cheese and real grilled cheese #and pasta that isnt spaghetti with something something cream sauce #oh and i really miss american bbq which means it sucks that i'll be going home in winter bahahaha #never expected to stay here as long as i have but otoh food cravings aside what real motivation do i have to live in the us #obvs my parents and i do want to see them and wish we could live close #but as for life in the us itself... living here is so far a lot easier in a multitude of ways #the biggest downside is my being a foreigner. gotta reapply for that visa every few years #and even though i speak japanese every day the business-style japanese of workplaces is totally different so im limited in terms of jobs #aaaand when im home in the us i have the opposite problem... i miss japan and japanese food instead xP #why cant i teleport that'd solve everything #fizz's life #why are people reblogging this??? X'D

[skunkes]

#i keep having little things in my life that make me go god i want to leave #but like. it wld take too long. #it wouldnt be an immediate change #i would still need to relearn to drive which would take forever bc i hate it #and i would need to look into certs that wld get me employed #or anything that wld get me employed #i know the time will pass anyway but that doesnt work for my brain that has trouble Startin especially when theres no light #at the end of the tunnel. like doing those things wont guarantee me a job so why bother #i get lulled back into well living here isnt so bad i can take it. moving out would be worse. id be alone and i wouldnt #feed myself and id have a job i hated #but then Something Happens and the cycle repeats and im miserable #and i want to leave but how can i. and it would take forever. so ill stay. but it sucks. and i want to leave. but how can i. and it w #talkys #i can take it. but not for much longer. but i can. but i cant. but i have to. but i dont want to. i can. i cant #idk how people Live #my issue is i want to leave Now i want to leave Yesterday.

[mossiestpiglet]

once again stressed as hell because i have the opportunity to apply for a job and i feel like i HAVE to take it despite the fact that i really dont want it and also feel like it wouldnt necessarily even be the best move in terms of career… but like. Fatal American Desire To Seize Every Financial Opportunity At The Expense Of My Own Well-being.

#i know i dont want to be a public librarian. if i work in public libraries long term i want to work behind the scenes in some way #it makes so much more sense for me to keep my little no-hours minimum wage job for now and look for something ACTUALLY relevant to my career #interests either an internship or job or something #ugh. i am so susceptible to anxiety over feeling like im missing an oportunity #even when its not something i actually want #i have done all the thinking and rationalizing and it makes so much more sense to focus on school and figure out where i actually want to be #in the LIS world and make those connections than to get a more stressful job in part of it that isnt in the career path i actually want to #go down anyways. and even if i change my mind and DO want to go into public libraries eventually this opportunity will be back soon enough #they hire for this position at least once a year #ecdysing

[serendipitous-mage]

GRIMACE SHAKE RECIPE

i am SICK and TIRED of all these recipes online that aren't even trying, like yes of Course it will be *tasty* but raspberries blueberries and vanilla ice cream will Not taste like The Grimace Shake it will taste like a Froot Smoothie

when i tried the mcdicks version, the two flavors that immediately stood out insanely clearly to me were:

creamsicle ... and berry cap'n crunch

i was 94% sure i was riight, but didn't have a chance to test that theory ... until today >:3

that's all for my yappin here's that recipe! ingredients:

berry cap'n crunch cereal (we didn't have the 'oops all berries' it had regular mixed in, i just picked out the berry ones). blend or crush as finely as you can!

orange creamsicles

additional vanilla ice cream

milk (as needed to thin mixture)

optional black raspberry ice cream (for additional fruitiness if desired, purple colour also!)

optional whipped cream (topping)

i've only tried this once and it tasted too strongly of the cereal so i used too much of that, and i don't have exact measurements(sorry, if i try again and get closer i'll keep track and update!), but this go i did the following:

put approx 1 cup of berry crunch in blender and mix to break apart

add 3 creamsicles (minus sticks), and milk as needed, blend together

optional taste test

add 2 large scoops of ice cream, vanilla or black raspberry, depending what you have and/or how fruity the current mixture tastes, blend (add more milk if needed)

pour into cups and add whipped cream on top :3

it made about~ two good sized cupfuls, we split it in three unevenly so i'm not 100% sure lol. if you let the ice cream/creamsicles melt enough to be mixable by hand and went to absolute town on the cereal you could probably make this without a blender!

anyway go be free summon grimace and ik they dont have these anymore but dont give those clowns any money

#if you wana you can drop me a buck tho kofi links on my main page♡ #grimace shake #grimace #recipe #milkshake #im sure you could add purple food colouring or something #the cereal does give it flecks of colour i bet if u added sprinkles and/or something glittery itd be real pretty #was gona get a pic but left my phone downstairs and wanted to Consume #pretty close i think! even with using too much cereal #i didnt use vanilla ice cream myself but both flavours were a bit too strong to match the grimace shake so i think adding some more to it #would make it even closer #id just been hoping there was enough in the creamsicles and was too lazy to get out another thing of ice cream lol #wouldve tried this MUCH much sooner but been between jobs and am just now finally Finally starting to get a little bit of money back up #which is gona be going right back out the window because current job is temp and the end is around the corner:'3 #just me #in case it wasnt clear FUCK mcdonalds btw #free palestine #im sure capn crunch isnt great either😭 there might be store brand fruit cereals that are super similar?? #if anyone tries this and wants to post a pic/give feedback or thoughts id love to see!:D

[orcelito]

I think I cried harder today over my dad's jackets than I did at his deathbed. That was a miserable time of course, a memory that will likely be seared into my brain until I die, but I cried... I think a normal amount, all things considered. More than I ever usually do of course, but I typically don't cry At All. All this free crying is certainly surreal.

The jackets, though. I was put in charge of doing his laundry, because we don't want to pack up dirty clothes. I was expecting it to be unpleasant bc my dad's dirty clothes - gross. But really, it was much more unpleasant in that... those were his. It felt wrong to touch them. Felt wrong to treat his jackets as gross. Because they were just his jackets. They weren't even in the hamper. And then I was remembering him wearing them, and then I was crying. Again. And again. Weeping over these damn jackets.

Then I found a shirt on his bed that still smelled like him. It smelled like a Hug From Dad. And that set me off crying even harder.

In total, I think I cried like 6 times within 40 minutes. It took me that long to finish sorting the damn clothes bc I just. Was a wreck. Like, what are you supposed to do when you're living life like normal, vaguely hopeful bc you're taking steps to secure your own happiness, and then 4 days later you're sorting your dad's laundry because he fucking died. Suddenly. Without a goodbye.

And you have to worry about his lack of a will (even under an ideal situation, only 2 heirs and no conflicts between us, probate's a fucking Bitch), and arranging the funeral, and prepping his obituary, and picking out pictures, and writing a speech bc you want to talk at his funeral, of Course you want to talk at his funeral, but even just thinking about anecdotes you could share has you crying yet again.

I've cried more times in the past 3 days than likely the entirety of last YEAR. And that's WITH my cat, and uncle, and family friend dying. Those all hurt, my uncle most of all, & I was real fucked up over it. But this? This was my Dad. Likely the person I'd have named 2nd closest to me in my life, second only to my sister. He wasn't perfect, but he did so much for me throughout my entire life. All he wanted was to raise us to be happy and independent. And he accomplished it, we're getting by without him, but we still wanted several more decades with him. He was only 57. We should've gotten several more decades with him.

But here we are now. Playing investigators to his life, digging into all his shit, trying to find documents and take inventory of all his things, and learning Many things about him in the process. In his lockbox of sensitive documents, like his SSN and birth certificate and all that stuff, we found an old letter. About a decade old now, written in my hand. Right at the very top, we found that he'd kept the letter I wrote to him telling him frankly about my struggles and the things I wanted him to do better. He kept it. He tried to take it to heart. He looked at it again, sometime more recently than all the rest of the documents. That was on top.

His love for us is evident everywhere. The pictures he has hanging up all over the place, majority of them with us in them. The old fathers day cards placed on display in his bedroom bookshelf. The gifts we gave him, even stupid little knick knacks, placed around his apartment with pride. I wish we'd taken more videos of him. I don't want to forget the sound of his voice. I don't want to forget his smell either, the smell of a Hug From Dad, but I still tossed that shirt into the wash even though it felt like saying yet another goodbye.

It's the suddenness that hurts the most, I think. We were planning on having him help me finally get my license this year. My final words to him, the last thing he would've seen from me, were messages asking up on whether he'd called his car insurance company to make sure there wouldn't be problems. I should've called him more. I don't know if I'm going to learn from this.

I cut my 2 weeks off early to have time to grieve and to work on things for the funeral and settling the estate. The last thing I'd wanna do right now is selling fucking bubble tea in a job I already decided to leave. So here I am without a job, though with potentially two life insurance policy payouts to come. Inheriting half his 401k. Inheriting couches, knickknacks, keepsakes, paintings, art pieces, maybe even his guitar and other furniture if we can figure out what to do about space (I don't have room for this furniture, I don't know if I even have room for the couches, but God do I want to keep so much of this furniture). It has me even considering keeping one of his guns, just one. A tiny little revolver, it sits so comfortably in my hand. I don't even want to use it for anything. I just want to have it, keep it stored in a drawer with its ammo kept separate. I don't like guns, but this is a part of him. He loved collecting guns. He was about as responsible with them as someone can be, keeping them locked in a lockbox and impressing upon his children the importance of gun safety (I've known the basic gun safety rules ever since I was a little kid. Of course, of course, of course.) It reminds me of him. It's horrifically easy to have a gun in Indiana. I apparently don't even need a permit to carry anymore. (I have no intention to ever carry this in public.)

It's all a cycle. Business, grief, thoughts about my future. Round and round, like the most nauseating carousel in existence. I don't know how I'm still so functional. My skills with compartmentalization have been my lifesaver.

And im just thinking about the story my dad's best friend shared today. About a friend of theirs who lost her father. She reached out after hearing about my dad to share his words with her: "it's okay to grieve, but don't make his death your life".

He explicitly referenced himself in this, saying if he were to die suddenly that he wouldn't want us to define ourselves by it. Grief is expected, but he wants us to be able to move on. He's always wanted us to establish ourselves and make ourselves happy. He wouldn't want to be a weight holding us back from that.

So every time I start to feel guilty for thinking about having nicer furniture or using his life insurance payout to fund the rest of my college, I remind myself of that. Thinking about the material isn't a bad thing. I'm only human. And in the end, he'd Want me to be thinking about it. He never intended to die, certainly not without warning like this, so he would've only encouraged me being pragmatic about it all.

He only ever wanted us to be happy. So I need to do what I can to live up to that.

I love him. I miss him already.

#speculation nation #negative/ #this got really long on accident. but i think typing this out was really helpful for me. #getting the thoughts out. processing. the works. #nearly cried several times just from writing this. #...and honestly i might reference this again when i start seriously writing my eulogy. #things suck a Lot right now. and i really wish they were different. #feels like i picked a bad choice in a video game and am now seeing the Bad Ending or whatever #all i need to do is reload a previous save. it's all still there. perfectly preserved in my memories. #but... that's all gone. as suddenly and unfair as it is ive been thrust into a new chapter of my life so thoroughly. #it's not all bad though. he wasnt prepared for dying so it's been hell to prepare for him #we dont know if we'll even be able to get into his fucking iphone. stupid piece of shit. #but he had life insurance. he had a union job. and That comes with benefits #(something about a year's salary going to the family. aka half a year's salary to Me. and isnt That mind boggling.) #as much as it hurts im going to be realistic about it. im going to do what i need to finish my education. #and im going to use it as a springboard for finally becoming a 'proper adult'. #the kind who could own a nice kitchen fridge. one with an ice machine on the front of the door #and freezers in the drawers. #maybe then i could think about getting motorcyle lessons. not from my dad as i originally wanted #but i wanna keep the family biker spirit alive. i wanted it even before he died. and now i want it even more. #ive had so so many thoughts. it's only been 3 days. ive had to emotionally numb myself several times just to Get Through It. #everything is exacerbated. my mom wants to go to the funeral. we will have to fight her on this. my dad Hated her. #and i certainly dont fucking want her around either. not then. not when im talking about my dad. #(my dad. my Dad. i saw him die. i felt him cold. i do not regret it. it still hurts me.) #it's overwhelming. i loved him so fucking much. even with his flaws he was truly an amazing father. #i'll... shut up now. if you read this far. well. hug your loved ones a little tighter. you never know when youll lose them.

[toaster-selfships]

Send me good wishes yall. I'm going to try and work on some late work when I get home but I'm chronically bad at doing that without an energy drink but I'm not ready for the impending doom of selling my soul to energy drinks so I can function

Uuhhhhhhhhh I accidentally went on a tangent and there's a whole vent in the tags oopsies

#i already get an energy drink every time on my lunch break at work. but thats partly cause im not too fond of my current job anyways #i dont need perfect grades just. as long as theyre passing i dont care #and are still passing grades after whatverr the finals do to it #im going to a trade school anyways gpa doesnt matter. ive just. QUITE LITERALLY. spent my whole life smacking my head into a desk- #-cause of school. and im so desperate to get my ass outta here. It'll be so much easier cause i will be free from family too #once i get my own place that is. I honest to God would rather sell my soul to two jobs and come home to peace and breathe #than this hell now. being at school is tourment and being at home is tourment. cant wait till im actually HOME. and not some. house. #home is where the dodge challenger that i will sleep in is. home is where the heart is. and my heart isnt anywhere here. #just. one more year. i can get my license at my brithday which is all the way in decemeber but. one more year from now #and I can scrape by and graduate and say adios. #i refuse to acknowledge the scenerio of not making it cause. fuck it we ball or something. am i using that saying right #i already did my time in prison(summer school) #i dont know about yall but summer school was honestly one of the WORST expereinces ive ever been in. horrible.

[mxwhore]

my art bone is still not back dear mutuals :(

#which sucks cuz 1) comms and 2) havent done any work in my expo and 3) #the post doc in my lab really liked my illustrations and sent me a job opportunity... art in my area... #i have till the 24 to apply #tbh i might just get some shut eye... perhaps the mind isnt in touch with the body.. #i have to do something different. goddamn #wish me luck mutuals

[ilovelickingrocks]

being at work makes me so miserable

#its not even that bad #but my anxiety is at an all time high here #im just uncomfortable #retail isnt for me i don't like talking to strangers im tired of most of my coworkers I'm just kind of waiting for this place to shut down #i don't want a job at all honestly #i wish i could just perform live music and do art commissions and sell clothes for money #but alas this economy and my depression won't allow that #nothing seems worth doing #i have no motivation and give up on something as soon as i start #i watch too much tv and get depressed i listen to too much music and get overstimulated and i never feel at peace or fulfilled anymore #and capitalism is one of the main roots of that. i just know it #we could all be so much happier. there is so much more to life than this #i want to travel #i want to spontaneously quit my job and take a cross country road trip but my car is not in road trip condition #i need to put new rear tires on before i should be driving it anymore at all #i want to be w my boyfriend cuddling & laughing & i wanna see cool things & see my favorite band in all the cities I haven't been to yet #i dont want... this #whatever this society is #working the day away not being able to be my own person 5 days a week and being too exhausted & depressed to leave home the rest of the day #i want to be able to live #i want my brain to let me function and my body to be at full health #i want to run through the woods on a cloudy crisp fall day #ive become so sensitive to temperature and numb to everything that i don't even get the same joy from being outside that i used to #also global warming lmao #ok vent over

[calamitys-child]

FUCK. I hate having to make adult financial decisions.

#the problem is. TECHNICALLY I've been saving to move out #but until my monthly pay is 1. stable and 2. a lil better that is simply not a sustainable achievable goal #and now . i have enough money to actually afford lasik. #which i want very badly bc i hate wearing glasses cause it inhibits me doing activities i love and enjoy #but equally i fucking HATE spending money like i cant comprehend things being more than like. £100 #and this would be a 4 figure sum of money #thats. too many figures. and i feel like i shouldnt ever use it for something that isnt life threatening #but also it Would enable me to like... go to gigs. perform. work out. manage my migraines. #i just cant bring myself to spend money on a large scale. i remember not too long ago when i had less than £60 to my name in the world #having the ability to spend money on something just For Me thats more substantial than. say. a £30 gig ticket #is absolutely foreign to me #and it makes me sick with fear that if i ever spend it ill be two months from risking homelessness again even though #logically i know im in a stable home right now #anyway!!! poverty is traumatic as fuck and if jobs paid a real living wage for a weeks work maybe i would be able to be normal about this!!!