#07252020

[thebigbluecity]

#gauntlet #not people #things #404 #07252020 #summer 2020 #july 2020 #summer #july #2020

[only-khimmayy]

Wewin’s and Tita Gail bday party 🎉 2020 ❤️ #myfamily #07252020 #Love #familyfirst #blessed https://www.instagram.com/p/CDVC9gYnd9nW23j6uTaWwCJ__S5IdcpUVCq7Dc0/?igshid=8l8f5zcn0jdb

#myfamily #07252020 #love #familyfirst #blessed

[kairosjuly]

Moving Out

Days have passed so quickly. I’m on my second week now with my new job. The following week would be my very first payout as a contractor in the company. My boss told me to send my invoice a little early to the accounts as they would need my bank details prior to the fund transfer. I hope the bank transaction will go smoothly by next week. 

I’ll be moving out from the condo unit that I am currently renting since I’ll be working from home here in Rizal for the time being. I’ll need to get my stuff from the unit before the 15th of the following month. I haven’t gone far from my home here in Rizal ever since the lockdown so I’m a bit looking forward to go to the unit but at the same time I’m paranoid as there were 2 reported Covid cases in the other building in the condo compound. I just hope that there wouldn’t be any problems when I go there. 

#07252020

[ruzhenanthonio]

#07252020 #fivehundredtwentyfivethousandsixhundredminutes Seasons of Love https://www.instagram.com/p/CDBXdiejFVzF0x_bUQnkFK0imcsT-YhjnduG100/?igshid=1ha0k7sm08jvi

#07252020 #fivehundredtwentyfivethousandsixhundredminutes

[hxllxway]

Closed starter for @littledeadhunter​

Nolan had been searching for Nicola for at least a half an hour, getting more and more concerned as the minutes crept by and he couldn’t find a trace of her. It was times like these that he wished he were a werewolf so he could track her down using scent or something, but then he remembered the eyes and the claws and the fear that went along with it and that desire went away real quick. Searching the crowd with a new level of desperation, he still couldn’t find his roommate, but he did spot...someone. 

Gabe. 

Did he dare approach? He had to, he had no choice, he had to find Nicola. Walking away wasn’t an option. Right? 

Taking a deep breath, hesitating a moment as he forced his legs to take a step forward, he made quick work of the small distance between them. Swallowing thickly, he tapped on Gabe’s shoulder to get his attention, immediately pulling away like it physically pained him to do so. “Um...Gabe? I need to talk to you.” 

#m:gabe #p:interactions #p:starter #d:07252020 #trapped.event002 #//i know this is late but...it's not over yet

[rigorheartthrob]

#Day42 #OnDuty #NewNormalDay #LabananAngNCoV19 #VerseOfTheDay #ImProudToBeFrontliner #StillALiveAndKicking #07252020🙏🏻 😇 #ManilaDoctorsHospital #MDH (at Manila Doctors Hospital) https://www.instagram.com/p/CDCtIIpFQMyF3jgOMeJG8lO9aROfBiOCouKWjw0/?igshid=1vc2glxknv47f

#day42 #onduty #newnormalday #labananangncov19 #verseoftheday #improudtobefrontliner #stillaliveandkicking #07252020🙏🏻 #maniladoctorshospital #mdh

[concussed-to-pieces]

Hello trésor! So for the Promo Day, I have so many talented writers to recommend! di-kut who's insanely brilliant, just-some-girl-92 who wrote a bunch of one-shot about many clones and they all are incredible, littlevodika who writes with a sense of humour of an absolute genious, highlyrecommendable who's stories are magnificently poetic, libradusk who is as kind as a wonderful writer, auty-ren, no-droids, beskars and finally, one of my favourite: concussed-to-pieces who makes me all emotional ❤

Here comes the talent bandwagon! We have @di-kut (and their masterlist: https://di-kut.tumblr.com/post/619084968418803713/di-kut-masterlist )

@just-some-girl-92 (and their masterlist: https://just-some-girl-92.tumblr.com/post/619854702378614784/auxiliary-support-squadron-master-post )

@littlevodika (and their masterlist: https://littlevodika.tumblr.com/post/624677422332329984/littlevodikas-masterlist-07252020 )

@libradusk (and their writing tag: https://libradusk.tumblr.com/tagged/mine )

@auty-ren (and their masterlist: https://auty-ren.tumblr.com/post/618211060359561216/auty-rens-masterlist )

@no-droids (and their masterlist: https://no-droids.tumblr.com/post/189687769305/masterlist )

@beskars (and their masterlist: https://beskars.tumblr.com/post/624713294148665344/darth-maul-act-of-vengeance-nc-17-34k )

I dunno about this concussed-to-pieces kid, they sound like some kinda’ nerd (thank you so so very much, my friend ;-; you’re so kind!).

Welcome one and all! We appreciate your love of the craft and your respective fandom! Thank you for what you do! 💚

[And highlyrecommendable didn’t come up when I searched, so they may have changed their blog name? If not, let me know and I’ll get them up here somehow! ]

#promo day #3k promotion

[coffeegrlcreamwrld]

07252020/0250

I’ve accepted my sexuality at this point. After a lot of reflecting and reading I’m comfortable with identifying as queer. I’m not quite sure if I’m bi or pan but I’m definitely attracted to women. It hasn’t been hard for me to accept as it’s always been something I’ve had in my mind as a possibility I’ve just never cared enough to explore. Until this year my main focus has been on school and then finding a job. I’ve never been interested in being in a serious relationship until I got myself together including my mental health. I like attention and the flirting/talking/dating stage but whenever someone wanted to get serious I ran lol.

Towards the end of last year I finally felt like I was in a good place to really date date and with my job I planned to have funnnnnn this year but miss rona said no mam. This time in isolation has really had me craving intimacy and thus I started interrogating what that looks like to me which led me to start thinking about who I could see myself with in these trying times (pandemic x uprisings).

When I first felt attracted to women (or girls cause I was in HS lol) it was in a sexual way. I could see myself having sex with women but couldn’t see myself in a relationship with them so I attributed it to me just being a horny teenager being effected by the way women are oversexualized. I didn’t really think much of it beyond that. In college I was open to being a third because again horny teen but didn’t really think about a relationship with women. Looking back I definitely had some crushes but I wasn’t interested in a relationship with anyone at that point so again never thought much of it. When thinking of relationships with guys I could only see myself in it if I was being spoiled/taking care of financially. Ive never been really interested in guys my age and when I was it never lasted long lol.

With all that being said, when I started thinking about who I could see myself with now as a 25 year old and beyond I realized that I could see myself with a woman. And then when I thought about my favorite couples on shows or YouTube or instagram they were mostly couples that had two women/non-men. The couples that had a woman and a man were couples where they man had lots of $$$$ and was obviously taking care of the woman. I think the fact that the only relationships I could see myself in with men are ones where there are actual financial benefits for me is telling. In this moment of exposing capitalism for the disgusting system that it is I’m not as worried about being with a monied partner as I am about being with someone who would fight for me in all aspects. (I still want financial stability but it’s more so for peace of mind then wanting to ball out lol)

I really just want someone to be vulnerable with and who I can show all of me to. I also want more friends and to really find a community where we are there for each other. I’ve always felt comfortable in queer spaces but kind of felt like an intruder? I hope that me accepting this part of myself really allows me to find my people wherever they may be lol. I can’t wait till post COVID in 2022 (😭) when we can all gather again.

#queer #coming out #queer pride #pride #lgbtq #black and queer #black qwoc #qwoc #cgcw

[prufrocksblues]

{07252020}

After a brief moment of hesitation—he skims the surface of the man-made lake. Confirmation of the moment. 

(The slow liftoff is posted here at my companion tumblr.)

source: PrufocksBlues

#walking #PrufrockBlues #crane

[ipanoptes]

07252020

The moment was just right. Too many years I have tried to capture an image of these birds in flight. But today, finally: a hesitant leap and then awkward beauty skimming the surface of the subdivision’s landscape. 

source: iPanoptes

#walking #iPanoptes #with/without #crane

[notababy-babygirl]

Too sick to be missing someone right now.

And I don't want want to talk to him coz he'll just give me irrational advices. Akala nya lahat madali. Akala nya lahat possible. Nuh-uh. Minsan ang hirap pag masyadong matalino e. Hihi. Di lahat ng capabilities nya, ay ganun din sakin. Very ekis naman.

So ayun, happy weekends padin tho I am not feeling well. Headaches bigtime.

#07252020 #Personal #Jwtah #Post

[thebigbluecity]

#aiden #07252020 #summer #july #summer 2020 #july 2020 #2020 #outside #chicago #lake michigan

[movedblogtoanother-blog]

07252020/0250

I’ve accepted my sexuality at this point. After a lot of reflecting and reading I’m comfortable with identifying as queer. I’m not quite sure if I’m bi or pan but I’m definitely attracted to women. It hasn’t been hard for me to accept as it’s always been something I’ve had in my mind as a possibility I’ve just never cared enough to explore. Until this year my main focus has been on school and then finding a job. I’ve never been interested in being in a serious relationship until I got myself together including my mental health. I like attention and the flirting/talking/dating stage but whenever someone wanted to get serious I ran lol.

Towards the end of last year I finally felt like I was in a good place to really date date and with my job I planned to have funnnnnn this year but miss rona said no mam. This time in isolation has really had me craving intimacy and thus I started interrogating what that looks like to me which led me to start thinking about who I could see myself with in these trying times (pandemic x uprisings).

When I first felt attracted to women (or girls cause I was in HS lol) it was in a sexual way. I could see myself having sex with women but couldn’t see myself in a relationship with them so I attributed it to me just being a horny teenager being effected by the way women are oversexualized. I didn’t really think much of it beyond that. In college I was open to being a third because again horny teen but didn’t really think about a relationship with women. Looking back I definitely had some crushes but I wasn’t interested in a relationship with anyone at that point so again never thought much of it. When thinking of relationships with guys I could only see myself in it if I was being spoiled/taking care of financially. Ive never been really interested in guys my age and when I was it never lasted long lol.

With all that being said, when I started thinking about who I could see myself with now as a 25 year old and beyond I realized that I could see myself with a woman. And then when I thought about my favorite couples on shows or YouTube or instagram they were mostly couples that had two women/non-men. The couples that had a woman and a man were couples where they man had lots of $$$$ and was obviously taking care of the woman. I think the fact that the only relationships I could see myself in with men are ones where there are actual financial benefits for me is telling. In this moment of exposing capitalism for the disgusting system that it is I’m not as worried about being with a monied partner as I am about being with someone who would fight for me in all aspects. (I still want financial stability but it’s more so for peace of mind then wanting to ball out lol)

I really just want someone to be vulnerable with and who I can show all of me to. I also want more friends and to really find a community where we are there for each other. I’ve always felt comfortable in queer spaces but kind of felt like an intruder? I hope that me accepting this part of myself really allows me to find my people wherever they may be lol. I can’t wait till post COVID in 2022 (😭) when we can all gather again.

#cgcw #queer pride #qwoc #coming out #lgbtq positivity #black and queer #queer

[romanticizinglife]

Saturday July 25, 2020

The Sky,

I love the sky because it is always changing, but it is a constant. There may be clouds, clear, dark, bright, beautiful, dull, or whatever. But it’s always around. When the sun rises, the sky changes from greys to purples to pinks to blues. When it rains the sky can be grey or many different shades of blue. When the sun sets, the sky goes through another cycle of reds and oranges until it finally reaches an incredibly dark blue. So dark that it’s almost black. At night the sky is filled with stars, the moon, possibly clouds. To me the sky makes me calm, especially at night. It’s something we take for granted. It is full of things that protect us, without anything in return. Always far but never fully gone. Just distant.

#the sky #learning to appreciate whats around me #07252020

[emiliebaltazar]

Promises.

Hey you-

I got into deep thinking about June 2018. I remember that night very clearly like it was only yesterday. It was already hours upon hours and you weren't replying. I got sick of worry and called you. You picked up and I got a wash of relief but was immediately dismissed when I saw you crying. Alarmed and concerned, I asked you what was wrong.

"I don't deserve you. I keep hurting you and you keep staying."

That floored me because I thought we were okay, and you feeling that way made me immeasurably sad. I was in bed that night when you told me those things, my family was watching a film and the background noise concealed my breath as I tried to hold back my tears, but it all cascaded like waterfall. I remember I cried for you, because you were hurting so much when you said all of this. And I cried for me because you were right. I went downstairs for privacy and finally I told you why I keep choosing to stay.

"I made you a promise, remember? You keep telling me people always leave you, but I told you I will never be that person, I will always choose to stick by you and stay with you."

I doubt you remember that night, but I always will. I will never forget seeing you cry for the first time. I will never forget how I promised myself to never let you go.

But now as my heart beats like I just finished a marathon, as I feel it banging against my chest, as tears threaten to flow, I stare off at the distance and remember us. We were magic, we were heaven and we were everything I could ever dream of. But we were also crazy in both good and bad. We destroyed each other and consumed each other with love and joy, heartache and misery. With heavy heart I regret how I allowed you to steal away my thoughts and morals, my energy and faith. I allowed you to disrespect and manipulate me, take me for granted. The worst part of it all was that I tolerated it and accepted it.

And as I allowed it all to consume me, it wrecked me as a whole, as a person, as a spirit from the inside out. I forgot all my beliefs and dreams, my faith. I became toxic to you and to myself. I became so controlling, driven by my overthinking and insecurities. Looking back, I could have made better decisions and judgement calls. It is true about loving yourself first, setting standards and demanding respect. What did I expect right? Of course you would treat me the way I treat myself. I am not saying it's all your fault. It's my fault for tolerating bad behavior and let's be real, I've had my fair share of hurting you too. You tried your best to be the best partner, but I was a mess, wasn't I? I was naive, immature and foolish. At times it still overwhelmed me that after waiting for you for so long, you were finally mine but I couldn't even treat you like you deserved. I became a different person when you came back. I can't believe I was once that kind of toxic person not only to you but to myself too. As much as I destroyed myself, I destroyed you too, and I think that is worse than leaving. I regret my actions profoundly. I regret not taking care of you like I would have hoped.

"Do as you would be done by", indeed. I pray for your forgiveness.

I am elated to the core that now, I found me. I now know who I want to become, and she is going to be a far cry from the toxic girl I've been years ago.

I forgive you for everything, it's not all your fault. I must learn to forgive myself too. I feel fearless now. I feel like the bad times are behind me and that is where they shall stay- in the past. It's time to focus on myself and my relationship with God. I feel like whatever happens between us, I will always be happy whatever that may be, because I finally learned to seek happiness within me, and even though it took a while, took the shaky road and fell a thousand times, it was all worth it because I finally stood up and decided to be unfazed by the challenge. Everyday I thank God for saving us. I thank God for His mercy.

Today and always I dream of love inspired by God's love for us all--the one that never dies and is eternal! Oh how I used to fear the future before and now I embrace and celebrate life. La vie est belle! Thank You Lord for all that you do and for all your blessings!

I pray that you seek God & find absolute peace and happiness.

All my love,

-M

07252020

[kimichan09]

07252020

Dinner

A bowl of ramdon, fried spam, kimchi, spicy tofu then graham de leche