#ALSO I DIDNT REALIZE AT FIRST THAT WAS MARTIN

[killmebythebeach]

So was anyone gonna tell me that s5 is so unbelievably sad or was I supposed to find that out myself.

#like obviously i knew itd be sad but im two episodes in and ive heard tim for the first time in 40 eps and sasha for 120 #and gerry. ze boi. i didnt even realize it was him till the comics. why does he read like a teen protag in a ghost hunting story. #the leitner jumpscare to. sir. half the people in the institute would kill you on sight please go back to the tunnels. #elias being weird at jons birthday for no reason. like. i swear he wasnt that strange before the pipe murder dropping stuff for no reason? #'i like to keep an EYE on these things' sir with all due respect (none) shut the fuck up?! #idk why but tim and sasha talking like that just makes me so sad. of course its understandable for them to be frustrated #but also its not jons fault jonah chose him cuz he was traumatized by a spider book :( id be angry if i was sasha though #its also funny cuz i thought tim/sasha was a pyre fandom thing. no. tim literally calls it a 'will they wont they'. hes like a sitcom #gurtrude recording that tape to sasha basically lmaoooo #and i saw someone point this out in the comments but. gertrude keeping the place messy might have killed people. #not having easy access to information that could have saved them. such as her tape. ough #one thing i missed about tim in s3 is the charm. of course he was angry at. everything but it was heartbreaking to see tim change #so the tapes really made me just yearn for the like. two times tim was there in s1. #also the fact sasha knew about tims brother. and martins application. and that tim knew too. #i never really understood the fandom 'expert hacker' sasha but i think i get it now #i cant even remember if she hacked anything in s1. feels like so long ago even though i havent even been listening for 2 months #on that note martin and jon are going over to kill elias woo! #martin: hey this house is evil we should butn it #jon: nah. theres a lot of evil #holy fuck i forgot how stupid these characters can be sometimes. like even if you think it wont wotk just try? hello? #sasha calling gertrude a bitch is giving me life. yeah. she sure was. idc what she did she put micheal in the distortion #but im still so just. distraught by how somber the tone is. even with the s1 crew goofing around its just so. oof. #the funny quippy s1 crew cutting off to jon trembling alone in a corner does wonders for the tone #martin really went: i found the tea lets get this bread #king shit honestly. go get that bread and kill elias and stop the apocolypse or somethung. idk the goal of the season yet #like s1 focused on prentiss. 2 on stranger. 3 on the unknowing and elias. 4 on extinction and peter. im excited to see what 5 is #i dont even think weve met her but gertrude mentioning agnes. mwah. love you baby. doing great. shouldve gotten a coffeshop au. #sigh. statement ends #the magnus archives spoilers #the magnus archives

[hoodie-prince-kid]

. https://youtu.be/5otYUHbaJX8?feature=shared I’ve stolen lyrics from it for a bit now lol

OH ok yea i see it now, man i really gotta rewatch this movie dont i-

#Also my inner va nerd is yelling because i JUST watched a movie with martin short #But i didnt realize who it was until i looked it up and thought that no i know him from something else #The fucking. Sea lion in madagascar 3 #Martin short is more prevalent in movies than i first realized-

[aro-oak]

I only JUST realized that I was so into jmart season 1 fics for so long bc authors would write Jon with the same chronic illness things that I have. And have him be ace. Dear god it is the same pain and the whole time I was in such need of that tenderness

#at the time i didnt realize the extent or the specifics of said chronic illness #i dont even know much now but i certainly know wayyyyy more #and after i moved to a better household where care for chronic illness is highly valued i stopped reading so many tma fics #but my issues are getting worse and i think its time to dive back in #also if anyone had the safehouse one where they decide to run away and gauge out their eyes #and do martins first bc jon can See everything to make sure he does it just right #and then they wait like 2 weeks for recovery time before doing jons #and then it doesnt work and eyes start popping up on the entirety of jons body and he can still See everything except martin since martin #got cut off from the Eye #lmk bc i never got to finish it and its been on my mind for like two years #tma #ask to tag'

[loser4loserswhok1ll]

First Meetings + Touches With The Slashers

How you meet and how your first touch goes

Headcanons

Sfw, fluff, some angst, slashers learning how love works and sort of failing</3, GN reader

Includes: Martin Mathias, Brahms Heelshire, Michael Myers (RZ), Norman Bates, Kurt Kunkle

💉Martin Mathias

It was.. awkward.

you were spinning slowly on the roundabout thing at the park with Martin

it was late at night, pitch black out, and you guys were just existing together, talking only every now and then

youve done this since martin moved into town

you guys met when he delivered a package to your house and when you came to put it away for your mother you instantly wanted to know this kid

he looked around your age and you think he felt the same

so you guys just became friends and sat in the silence of the other like this often

you did most of the talking as Martin just watched silently, only chiming in every once in a while when something really caught his interest

at some point deep into a comfortably one sided conversation, your hand slid slightly and gently rested on his

you didnt notice, but oh god he did

he just stared at your hands and shifted uncomfortably but not in a disgusted or hateful way, more like a cautious and unsure way

it took a moment before you looked over and realized and you moved your hand back almost immediately

he just stared at you with those puppy eyes, mouth slightly open showing the tips of his front teeth (cute stuff yknow?)

You apologized but he just,,, stared. scanned you. observed you.

it took a moment before anyone spoke, and shockingly, it was him

"Its ok. your hands are warm.. s'okay. I promise." and he said it so soft and in that awkwardly boyish manner that he has

that made you smile gently, easing the tension, putting your hand back in its spot comfortably

it was a peaceful night and an even more peaceful comfort between you two

🗝Brahms Heelshire

the actual first time he touched you wasnt even when you were awake

that wall freak snuck into your room when you were asleep and petted you basically

but the first time when you were awake was when he decided it was finally time

he just couldnt wait to reveal himself any longer, he would go insane if he had to watch his goodnight kisses be wasted on some hollow porcelain again and again

he tried to be gentle, soft, tried not to scare you

of course you were damn near terrified to death

a tall and strangely muscular man just lumbered out of the wall, the very same walls youve spent months in between, months living with, and yet never once did you think they were a living space themselves

it took you time before you could calm down, painfully long before you even let brahms take a step closer to you

but when you let him, he was overjoyed

he gently grabbed you and nearly swallowed you with his arms, taking a very obvious and harsh sniff of your hair

that was the first of many lingering hugs and touches so you should probably adjust to this new life soon- for your own sanity

🔪RZ Michael Myers

oh, and make a new list of rules

you werent supposed to be there, actually

there was a halloween party going on at the myers house (and it wasnt even a good one smh)

you didnt want to go but your friends didnt want to walk alone (and they definitely needed a chaperone to walk them home)

so you walked them there, dropped them off, and gave them a time when youd be back to wrangle them (also chastising them for disrespecting the house and the myers family so horribly)

you had a nice evening to yourself, 0 worries, watching some slasher films alone (house of wax, wolf creek, house of 1000 corpses, yknow the good stuff)

time to get your friends unfortunately *sigh*

you turn off the tv and make your way to the myers house

there are.. a lot.. A LOT.. of police

in a panic you sprinted through every shortcut possible to make it there

one of those shortcuts was through bushes and in between neighboring houses fences

thats where you bumped into him

you looked up and froze, fear paralysis, staring at the blood splattered ghost white face- no- mask

from your end, you were sure you were gonna die

from michaels end, he didnt know what to do with you

he saw you ramble on about how these dumb drunks should just let the myers family rest and they were disrespecting them and blahblahblah

because of that he wasnt going to kill you

but here you guys are, body pressed on body, between bushes and fences, staring at eachother

he made the first move and you flinched and blocked your head with your arms instinctively

he didnt do anything, just left you there to collapse into a ball of fear and confusion

anyways he had to contemplate why he liked the warmth of your body against his so much (and why its been in his mind for weeks after the incident)

oh also ur friends are dead :p

🛎Norman Bates

you were just a normal guest

just passing through but it got late and it isnt safe to drive when youre so sleepy

so you pulled into the nearest motel you could find and low and behold its the bates motel!

you got your stuff and checked in

you just assumed norman was this shaky and nervous around everyone

norman knows hes not. at least not to the degree that you made him

god the moment he layed his little puppy dog eyes on you he was in shambles

you are the definition of what he desires

mothers pissed!

he helped you bring your stuff to your room and you guys talked about anything and everything

he invited you to eat dinner with him after you mentioned you hadnt eaten

you unfortunately refused because your exhausted tanked your hunger by a long shot

as he was going to leave you touched his arm gently, a friendly touch

you thanked him and he shakily gave a thank you back for choosing his motel and being so kind and being so gentle and for being so- he should really get going now before he rambles too much and loses his dignity, shouldnt he?

you laughed softly at his behavior and gave him a kind goodnight before closing the door and readying yourself to sleep

norman basically booked it back to his house

mother had an earful for him but he was so dazed and stupid from the things he was feeling for you

the absence of your warm fingertips on his arm made him crazy, he wanted longer touches and he wanted to feel that warmth endlessly

he was very adamant you stay in the bates motel again soon when you checked out the next morning (much to mothers dismay)

📱Kurt Kunkle

he was your spree driver (so unexpected ikr)

you got into his car when he pulled up and happily greeted him

he liked your kindness, he likes not awful people a ton

was real awkward with you but you didnt seem to mind (you were also a little awkward so it was like a mutual thing)

you asked him about the cameras and he told you it was for some webseries about safety as a driver or something (he said it very strangely so you kinda didnt trust him)

you leaned forward to talk with him more and you guys really hit it off

he thought you were cool, you thought he was a total weirdo

perfect match

the drive was painfully short though so you had to leave soon after you got in

when you got out you knocked on his window and complimented his service

you also gave him your number and he gladly took it

after exchanging numbers you placed your hand on his shoulder while thanking him

he went RED and stuttered out a 'your welcome' and also rambled about how hed love to drive you more often and stuff

after you left dude had to take a BREATHER

he wants you back in his car NEOW

rides the high that your touch gave him for the rest of the day (even a little bit the next day too)

#slasher headcanons #slasher fanfiction #rz myers x reader #brahms heelsire x reader #kurt kunkle x reader #norman bates x reader #martin mathias x reader #slasher x reader #slasher x you #gn reader #loser4loserswhok1ll

[lilliesandeyes]

Your artstyle is so pretty but why do you draw martin skinny? He is canonically implied to be fat, and it’s kind of weird that you draw him skinny. Do you just not know how to draw fat people, did you not know he was fat, or is this a conscious thing you are doing? /genq /nm /lh

first of all thank you!! and i didnt realize my martin design comes off as being skinny. in my head, i imagine jon wearing very loose clothes so when i draw them togheter maybe their body type doesn't seem very different from one another because of that and that s not my intention. i am very happy with martin's canon description. i m also not the best at drawing fat people but i will try to better represent martin the next time i draw him. thank you for asking this and pointing it out!

#tma #the magnus archives

[wolfblood-of-anubis]

somethings to say about the Nina tribute video:

i originally planned on her video maybe being 5 minutes long

def was not my plan to have a 15 minute video. (14:50 if you wanna get technical)

wowza.

and im STILL missing the uncut version (yep there's more!)

but im honestly okay with it bc well the thing about nina is that she had SO much going on:

navigating a new school and residence, dodging false accusations from an angry girl, meeting this mysterious woman that sends her on a quest, becoming the de-facto leader of a new group and people looking to her for what to do next, sarah dying, hearing voices around the house, thinking she may be going insane, rufus zeno threatening not just her life but her friends’ lives as well, learning she’s the chosen one and assembling a magical cup all in less than five minutes, an evil spirit threatening her life and now her bf’s life and now her friends’ and grandmother’s life unless she finds some mystical mask in a set of tunnels under the house, accidentally hexing her friends leading to alfie regressing to a child and baby; and amber aging to a very scary point, choosing to put on the mask of anubis in order to save her friends and gran’s lives which meant her going into the field of rushes and just flat out die basically. all the while deal with romance drama and joy’s villain era.

so to put all of that in a five minute video would not suffice it nor do her justice

i did try and do parts for each song

power of the mind is and always will be a nina song, it was the first song i picked out for her and i just think it really fits her

like the first song is mainly her introduction, the most important bits like meeting sarah, getting the locket, her parallels to sarah and her ingenuity as well as smarts and recklessness too, just her character overall and then we slowly moved to chosen one stuff in the next song and then senkhara's hold over her as well as why she wants the mask after that

i didnt show a lot of rufus going down bc it's nina's story to tell, rufus is a whole other thing and at the end, i really tried to focus on nina specifically

that being said, it does end with fabian (and amber) missing her, the last bit of her being the hand written letter (not the locket, that's another thing entirely) i wanted to focus on something nina did rather than what she was given

i used imovie for the software, dont really have anything to say about it bc its free for me so i dont really know other video editing software *shrug*

the penultimate song (the way by zack hemsey) was almost this song called dwell on dreams and i changed it bc it was just too uplifting, like nope, we gotta go down darkness right now

i listened to like eight different songs trying to decide what fit fabina in the end, and i think last kiss by taylor swift really does summarize them in majority, if anyone else has another song please let me know

there’s seriously enough recorded content to make a senkhara video im ngl

also a victor video would be fun too but i’d have to go back and record his scenes again bc i was mainly focused on sibuna stuff

at one point nina’s video has over 54 minutes of content. yep. (thats not including the fabina scenes. in total it should come around to an hour and thirteen minutes. yep.)

15 doesnt sound like a lot now, does it?

i just realized while i didnt end up publishing it on July 7th, i managed to get it out there on July 17 which i think is a fun win!

my favorite part of the video is prob when vera asks victor “what is it about that girl? she makes you nervous, decidedly nervous.” i love it, i wished more characters talked about nina and what she can do, like idk rufus or some of the teachers smth like “dont underestimate them. especially nina martin.” and shit.

like for example in the s1 ending for HHA victor’s on the phone w the real bad guy or whatever, and he’s asking who’s responsible for all this shit and victor answers, “Her name… is Nienke. Nienke Martens.” or smth like that i cant remember

the next video is Alfie’s and i hope his does remain with five minutes bc the song i have for him is perfect and unlike Nina he does have one direct line of evolution from class clown to traumatized to untrustworthy sibuna to brave sibuna, proving to us and to his friends but most importantly to himself that he’s the bravest sibuna no matter what.

#house of anubis #hoa #sibuna #nina martin #nina tribute

[doofus-and-dragons]

Just finished TMA s3 so you know what time it is!

Spoiler time...it's spoiler time (this also bleeds into parts of s4

S3:

Elias can eat a dick. Kudos to Ben for giving him one of the top 10 sexyist voices in TMA, but DAMNIT, HE'S THE WORST 😭

The distortion is struggling to figure out who it is.

Like it or not, you're Helen now buddy (I love you dearly you murderous entity)

I don't like Julia or Trevor

Also, why does every character who gets hurt make strange noises that can be taken out of context (not a complaint, just an observation) (except for that American cop fucker. That guy made me vastly(HA) uncomfortable XD)

I've notice that Jon whimpers when he gets hurt. Poor pathetic wet cat

NO TIM

TIIIIM

I KNOW I WAS HARD ON YOU DURING THE LAST SEASON IM SORRY COME BACK

I'm going to riot

Martin deserved to go apeshit like that

He really did

The desolation in the background: Hey, guys, can I have him?

The Eye: NO FUCK OFF HE'S MINE

FUCK YEAH ELIAS IS GETTING ARRESTED

A good ending to a good season

Oh shit Jon's In a coma

S4:

Ok, first off: the trailer did not have to hit me in the emotions quite that hard

I almost cried at my machine

I think Oliver is a pretty sweet guy so far. He even left when he could see how uncomfortable he was making Georgie

THE FIRST MEETING BETWEEN MARTIN AND JOHN AFTER HIS COMA MADE ME TEAR UP

I think Jon is realizing that he's losing his Martin. You can always hear the pain in his voice when he talks about/to him

THE SECOND INTERACTION

I HAD TO PAUSE IT SO I DIDNT BUST OUT CRYING INFRONT OF MY ASSHOLE BOSS

Anyway

I don't like Melanie.

I haven't since she was introduced in s1.

Like, I've just never cared for her. I get why she's acting the way she is, I understand it. But she's just not a character I've ever enjoyed (kudos to you if you do tho)

Basira... I have no strong opinions of her

Like I domt dislike her

But I'm not a Basira Stan either.

I think she just misses her gf or smth

Breekin and Hope were married

You can't tell me that statement wasn't someone mourning the loss of their immortal life partner

I won't believe you.

JON USE MARTIN AS YOUR ANCHOR ITS THE BEST PLAN

Anyway that's as far as I've gotten.

#the magnus archives #tma #tma s3 #tma s3 spoilers #tma s4 #tma s4 spoilers #jonathan sims #martin blackwood #basira hussain #melanie king #tim stoker #elias bouchard

[hunxi-after-hours]

HM ok i'm abt halfway through aDoP and the interactions when they make it to nine hibiscus' ship are so!!! like the temporary satisfaction of mahit "beating" the teixcalaanlitzim at their own linguistic game & coming out on top-but it's such a hollow victory bc in doing so it's still giving in to the primacy of an other that she can never truly be a part of, and it comes at the expense of admitting to a certain level of inferiority in herself as a "barbarian" which is all just compounded by her already muddied sense of internal identity w yskandr. AND THEN mahit's "you didnt mean it, but you said it, reed" 😶😶 arkady martine is giving me everything i wanted and not pulling a single punch god bless

(cont'd below the cut :)

okay okay one 4 hr bus trip later-i finished aDCP and i think that was everything i could have hoped for in a sequel and more?? we've gotten used to the way that mahit & three seagrass weaponize language and the intricacies of how power and supremacy is interwoven in their own experiences with it, but the way that the new aliens twist and turn all of those expected relationships and dynamics on their head was so satisfying….(1/2)

….aMCE does such a good job clearly delineating the roles all these characters play, only to completely break them down in aDoP. by the end we're left with a few still "playing by the rules" (nineteen adze, sixteen moonrise, dekakel onchu), but then we have people like nine hibiscus, twenty cicada & eight antidote whose actions directly defy those expectations of identity martine originally set for us and i'm just in awe of how big her brain is truly (2/2)

first of all, anon, I am thoroughly jealous of your ability to read on moving vehicles, but goodness reading/finishing Desolation on a bus ride feels like it would make it SUCH a liminal experience

secondly, I’m afraid I don’t have much to add to what gifts you’ve given me beyond like, standing shoulder-to-shoulder with you in front of the same art exhibit and pointing enthusiastically at the display going “isn’t it just so WOW” because that’s generally how I feel about the Teixcalaan duology

it is so rare to see a narrative and an author that takes these themes so thoughtfully and seriously (not because authors aren’t trying mind you, and there is of course something to be said about diaspora and dislocation being a very personal and diverse experience) but Arkady Martine really has such a perfect and lethal grasp on just. the emotional reality and the way the tiniest twists of word choice can stick like a burr in your mind, wearing at our characters (who are, naturally, chronic overthinkers) as they attempt to continue their vast and significant work (oh lol this is why microaggressions are a problem isn’t it huh). there is such a subtle and delicate balance of imperialism/postcolonialism on both a personal and political level being handled in the plot, in the relationship between Mahit and Three Seagrass, and then on a civilizational/ontological level with the aliens, and Martine makes these incredibly complex forces feel both pressing and effortless with how well she balances all of these various threads

and I think it’s significant that Three Seagrass and Mahit are left open-ended by the duology’s conclusion, because there isn’t really an endpoint to this — it will forever be an ongoing negotiation, across tables in conference rooms behind closed doors by people in power, but also in Mahit’s heart, in Three Seagrass’s beautiful and overworked mind, an unending journey of realizing the ways in which you were wrong and the ways in which you were right and how to move forward with that knowledge towards building a better version of yourself to greet the next dawn, Teixcalaanli or Stationer or unseen world alike

also this is neither here nor there but. Twenty Cicada my beloved. show me a side character and their emotional support spreadsheet and I’ll show you my undying allegiance to them. his relationship with Nine Hibiscus really came out of nowhere and took me out at the throat

#hunxi book tag #the Teixcalaan duology really is something else

[samaelwinchester]

Goncharov is just like extreme fandoms making fanon up which doesn’t make sense and then trying to gaslight you into believing it to me tbh. So just like hellers.

LMAO i didnt even realize that. i thought the idea of pretending goncharov exists and making up things that happened in the movie was funny at first but now the deep meta analysis and gifsets and fanfictions are just coming across as hammy improv and now the joke just isn't funny anymore since it practically does exist at this point. not as a film, but more like a collaborative concept. also the "gay subtext" in a martin scorsese movie like be serious. maybe it really is cut from the destiel cloth

[youngpettyqueen]

I was writing last night so I didnt liveblog my thoughts on it but! I am officially all caught up with Discovery, until s5 premieres later this week. gonna discuss my thoughts below, so spoiler warning!

overall, I really like Discovery! I love the characters, I love the dynamics between all of them, and I think the plots each season have been fun. sure, some of them are a bit convoluted, but hey its Star Trek so I expect that

I think jumping 930 years into the future helped with some of the issues I was having with the first 2 seasons, in that it was really hard to see this series as a prequel. ive talked a lot about how while the writing and everything made it clear this was a prequel, it just didnt look like a prequel. now, it doesnt have to, and the writing isnt held back by having to be a prequel, so we get to see and do some really cool shit. the new species introduced were awesome, ive loved seeing the federation come together, ive loved seeing different species we already knew and loved but so far in the future. I think the choice to go so far into the future was, overall, a good one

I think my biggest gripe overall with Discovery is that so many characters just. dont stay dead. I think this was fine with Hugh, I thought how they did it with him made as much sense (as much sense as anything in Star Trek makes) and it was pulled off really well, and I was satisfied from a writing standpoint and from an emotional standpoint. with Gray it was... fine. it was well-explained, but a bit of a cop-out. still, fine. Book's made me roll my eyes. im sorry, his was stupid. here's why I think so

I like Book. im not super attached to him, but I like him. I liked the conflict with him in s4. and I thought his death was actually done really well. it was sudden, and jarring, but you also realized pretty quickly that yeah. it was always going to end this way. Michael did everything she could, but she was never going to be able to save him. for a brief moment we think maybe he's saved, and then he's gone. it was harsh, but it was good (lemme give a shoutout to Sonequa Martin-Green's acting again cause her crying is VISCERAL) and then its immediately undone because Book is miraculously saved by 10-C. so, now, on top of having a cop-out resurrection, we also have an established pattern of Discovery being unwilling to kill characters and keep them dead

this isnt true with every case, of course. Discovery has absolutely no problem with killing villains and minor characters, and even killing characters we're familiar with but who dont play major roles. but now that we've done this resurrection thing multiple times, its going to affect how I view s5 and any situation they present where a major character might die. the emotional stakes just won't be there, because im gonna sit there and think about how we've been here before, and its never stuck. ill have a hard time taking any of those situations seriously, because ill be wondering how theyre gonna bring them back this time

that said, im still excited for s5 and cant wait to see what it has in store. of the newer Treks ive seen so far, Discovery is definitely one of the better ones. its absolutely better than Picard. I have a hard time comparing it to Lower Decks, since theyre such vastly different shows, but ive enjoyed it just as much as I enjoyed Lower Decks. from what we saw of the SNW cast in Discovery, im now cautiously optimistic that ill at least enjoy the characters in SNW, even if I have to deal with. another prequel

I probably won't liveblog Discovery s5 when I watch it, just to avoid spoilers. so, see yall when I start SNW tonight!

#star trek: discovery #refusing to commit to killing major characters is not a gripe I only have with Discovery #it just has the most examples of this #I was PISSED when Q showed back up at that little end scene in Picard #it felt like such a slap in the face after Picard s2 handled his death and closure so beautifully #but yeah. Discovery does it constantly #in my honest opinion here's my hot take #it would've been more satisfying if Book died and Michael had to accept that she could do everything right and still lose #it would've been heart wrenching but it would've hit better #but I think my real scalding take is that it would've been better if Gray wasn't made corporeal #and instead melded fully into being a past life within Adira #could've been a real 'when you love yourself thats me loving you' type thing which would've been beautiful #especially with a character who struggles like Adira does #im. fine. with Gray being around and physical I think its fine and it doesnt annoy me as much as Book's cop-out resurrection #but still. I would've done it differently

[wpmz]

also i'm way past this point in the podcast by now but i was thinking abt it again earlier and like i forgot/didnt realize how crazy the web!martin foreshadowing/hinting at is bc i remember my first time listening to it and looking at the fandom stuff i'd see web martin theories and be like ehhh i guess i kinda see it but idk and then u relisten to the podcast and season 1 martin is just like making random spider related metaphors and jon keeps mentioning how martin doesnt mind the spiders in the archive like OKAY

#i dont actually know/remember if that theory goes anywhere #like i dont remember anything significant but also i havent listened all the way to the end so maybe there was something in the last eps id #once again. avoiding spoilers i am basically just treating these posts as my diary if anyone sees this dont tell me anything lol #either way i am sorry web martin theorizers of the past idk why i doubted u bc u really had some points now that i think abt it #moss relistens to tma

[seeingteacupsindragons]

I just read about your current projects, and they sound soo cool! Would you mind talking to me about them and i cojkd talk to you about my projects too and it could be a fun discussion...i completely understand if ur not up for it tho....just wanted to let u know the ideas of ur story sound super cool and if u ever publish them i really look forward to reading them... i dont do this often and my social skills are like a B- so i hope i didnt offend u i any way or over step.

Anyway hope you're doing well!

Hiya! My social skills are also honestly not great, so that's okay.

I am hoping to get both published, but as I still need to hook an agent, that's probably at least a couple years off for now.

You can sometimes see things I reblog or post about the books with the tags of the protagonists: Tiadane, for the first one, and Avel for the second, but I honestly have no idea what would even come up for either of those at this point.

This is my current working, mostly unedited and not perfect, query for Tiadane's book.

Tiadane has spent his entire seventeen years of life watching his city fall apart and listening to everyone tell him there’s nothing he can do to fix it so he shouldn’t bother to try. Once his neighbors die in a building collapse, he’s done watching and listening. Cinralen is an isolated city in the clouds, and no one who lives there understands the magic that keeps it aloft. So Tiadane leaves. His destination is Deermein, an old city founded by the wizards that helped build Cinralen in the first place. But by the time Tiadane arrives, wizards have been gone from Deermein for centuries and the people responsible want him and his wings gone, too. But one teenager in Deermein still remembers the legends his parents were killed for telling him, and he springs Tiadane from his jail cell and they escape Deermein to find the last shreds of magic on earth. But outside Deermein’s city walls, they find themselves facing down centuries of history, fragmented cultural heritages, and the impossible task of rebuilding something that was stamped out long ago—or at least building something new from the ashes.

This is the project I mentioned this morning wanting to kind of sprint through the last 100 pages or so of revisions to get this done soon, then off to a CP that...I don't have yet, so that's another thing I gotta figure out.

As for Avel's book,it's currently on hold around 25k words. I realized I was at a point where I really need to sit down and untangle the threads I've started spinning for it and figure out what to do with what I have and how to use things, but I haven't had time with the revisions and work, etc. It needs some thought, and I hope to be back to it soon, because those 25k words were tons of fun to write, came very quickly, and I have high hopes for that project.

This is some of the last bits I worked on for Avel's project, to give you an idea of...well, him.

“You play violin.” Avel snorted, clapping a hand over his neck where he knew his violin hickey was. “It could be a viola.” “It could, but it’s not.” The stranger grinned. “You’re pretty well known on the concert circuit, Avel Martins. I know what instrument you play.” Avel startled and his cane jangled against his back inside his backpack. He’d never been recognized before—or if he had, no one had bothered to say anything. He must have seen Avel’s collapse. People would recognize his face now. People would remember him, and not for his music. The stranger offered a hand. “Rafael DeMarco. Don’t worry, I’m not looking for an autograph.” Rafael tilted his head just slightly so his grin was almost even. “You look different when you’re not dressed for the stage. You have piercings.” Avel tugged at his right ear, where two hoops were threaded through his lobe and a silver stud marked the cartilage. He had more in the left. They came out when he was preparing for stage or promotional head shots, and went right back in after. His Doc Martens, black jeans, a t-shirt his parents had paid too much for to ensure it was 100% organic cotton, and a hoodie made of the same were a far cry from ill-fitting suits.

And this bit, I guess.

The man nodded and stayed on the floor with Avel quietly, waiting until the second worker came carrying Avel’s violin case, his jacket folded over one arm and a wood cane with a curved brass handle. Avel took the case first and wiped his violin down carefully before setting it inside. He ran his thumb over the clasps, letting each one close with a sharp thump. If he fell again, it would be safe, at least. Then he accepted the help to his feet and propped himself up with his cane. It wasn’t his favorite—that one was at home, foldable black aluminum with a skull pattern and violin stickers over that—but the one he used for concerts matched his suits better.

So anyway, yeah, having fun with Avel's character design (and Raf's, for that matter).

So that's most of the longer projects I'm working on at the moment. I'm very proud of both right now, and Avel's book is still super new and raw so I tend to share less about it (whereas Tiadane's is close enough to be useful I'm a little less worried about that). I'm happy to hear about yours.

#writing #my writing #Avel #Tiadane #as always if you feed my ChatGPT I'm going to haunt you #pls be respectful

[fraener]

4/15/23

this week has been hard on me. ive been very anxious and even stayed home from school thursday because i was too scared to leave the house until the evening i went with hans and we worked in the garden. its nice to be touching the dirt again. i cant remember if i wrote in here that i joined the experimental music ensemble or not, but were meeting for the second time tonight. it felt good to do something new and be kind of bad at it. i realized in that moment that i really miss trying things and being bad at them. its been strange, i feel really scared in the mornings and then i feel ok by the evening usually, a little scared again when im going to bed. my anxiety and ocd are evolving in new and interesting ways. it sort of feels like when a zit is surfacing or something, everything feels like its coming to a head and everything thats building up pressure under the surface is going to come flowing out and then ill be ok again. im looking at my healing and hurting cycles like breathing....a big inhale of horrible painful scary events and then i hold my breath for a little bit and then a biiiiiig exhale every few years. my lower and middle back have been hurting, and i think im having some dampness/spleen stagnation thats making it overact on my kindeys. ive definitely been stressing out and have had a really hard time getting out of the cycles and into the ifs lobby/core self. but other than my anxiety things have been really good. i fall a little more in love with hans every day which is really nice, and even though we had some conflict recently we both handled it so reasonably that it didnt even make a bump in the road for more than a couple of hours. its still been hard to eat but no so much because im scared of getting sick as its just hard to find fresh food in the grocery store. the produce is really bad right now and so im really looking forward to the coming weeks where ill be able to eat things that arent canned or bread or dairy anymore. i finally got some eggs so im really happy with that. i kinda think i might have to just move back to seattle after all when school ends. the artist trust is really promising for grants and such and i really really really miss home. im going to be penpals with stefan i think, they said yes so im excited about it. i started crying really hard because it felt like an avenue back into feeling like myself and feeling like home. theres this shimmering warm light like from one of those big windows in the animation room that i keep feeling when i feel like i can return....i get the same feeling from that first spring in this apartment. like the world is so big and warm and bright. like theres something right outside of my little stormcloud i cant seem to get out from underneath. i think i want to travel lots and go to grad school somewhere really interesting but i also really want to come home, germs and loud noises and high prices and all. but today i feel ok. today stefan said yes to being penpals with me, today i stumbled across the blog of someone who loves food and loves to cook beautiful things who lives right across the street in the martin in one of the apartments facing the olympian. today im going to call my grandma and karen and go do some more earth prepping and go to the herb store and go to my choir practice. today i might clean or meditate or go for a walk, i might try and make something out of clay, i might write a letter, i might cry some more. today is full of just as much good possibility as bad possibility. actually i think more good than bad. my outlook has been so damaged and changed in so many ways i just want everything to get flipped right side up again. i think if i could see the world a little different like i used to id feel so much better. i dont need to make a beautiful life up, i need to see how good life is right now and lean into it as hard as possible. what max said about life being a competition for who is having the most fun is right. i should be trying to win.

[0thsense]

28 9 2022

sigh. there is a 50% chance this is my last post on the blog. yesterday i felt very depressed in bed and i resolved to make a blog to write and vent, but today i randomly feel better. is it because i internalized what i thought about yesterday? i was feeling unhappy because my friend ned did not seem to be as happy to spend time with me. we were at one point comfortable and happy sharing our true thoughts but now i feel a sense of distance. it only makes sense because we live in different places for many years now but i cant help but feel there is more to it. our different stages in life with my degeneration while he is in a happy relationship and pursuing early retirement. i cant help but feel that maybe he just doesnt find as much value in our relationship anymore, while maybe im clinging on to my past glory. he seemed to value martin's company more because martin keeps up with the latest gossip from a variety of friend groups and perhaps i cant even offer anything more interesting than that anymore to ned. writing this is making me feel depressed again. i keep thinking about all the opportunities that ive missed and im already 27 now. i was telling martin on the subway back to our hotel how i read somewhere that your mental peak is at 25, and its just downhill from there. i tried to pretend and believe that i didn't let that change how i act, as martin annoyingly took the obvious position of 'oh are you going to just give up because of that', but i do think about it quite a bit. i dont have much time left, and worse yet i didnt realize how little time i have as ive squandered the past few years. i poured so much time into getting good at these games i dont want to mention, and achieved the goals i set. the only problem being that the goals were a proxy for actually being able to achieve the real goals i actually care about, and i still cannot achieve those real goals. i wonder if anybody other than me will ever read this. i hope that some random person finds this and finds it interesting enough to read and share. i dont think i will share this to anyone i know unless in time i become someone who can look back on this and laugh. that seems currently unlikely. today i met jarvis's friends. im not thinking of names for them because i dont think they will be recurring characters. i still struggle with meeting new people, i dont think the depressed state i am in helps very much for that. i probably came off as not shy but a little weird, which i guess is pretty accurate. i just wish i could make connections more easily, everything i do still feels forced, just like how its felt my whole life. it makes me worry about meeting a romantic partner. i used to think that if i could just show someone my true self i wouldnt have trouble finding a partner, but now im unsure of even that. ive lost a lot of confidence in my true self, and i also think my true self has truly become less compelling. im in a bit of a rut i suppose. if i start thinking all of these things every day i might do it. that felt forced to write but this blog is supposed to be a stream of consciousness so i should not hold back, though im probably just thinking it because its my first day writing this blog. i wonder if i should include mundane things like wow i scrolled up and this is a giant wall of text. probably not because it doesnt add anything and this is already getting very long. this might be the most words ive written in a single day since like my last essay in college, like more than 5 years ago. thats very sad to think about. my friend yan just posted that he will come home for 2-3 weeks for christmas. im very excited to hang out with yan again, but i have a small fear that he will treat me like ned. that would make me really sad. im kind of supposed to plan something important during those 2-3 weeks for the toddpole friend group, but its unclear and messy and it stresses me out a bit to think about it. i hope it works out, i think i can do it. of course no matter how well i do it i will get made fun of for it but thats just how it is.LIMIT

[bare1yart]

[ID: four pixel-art edits of Martin, Jon, Sasha, and Tim. Martin is a fat white man with short blond hair in a sweater, pulling pokeballs out of a bookbag which also contains a statement. He’s smiling sheepishly, a joltik next to him. Jon is a skinny south asian man with short grey-streaked hair wearing an overcoat and holding a tape recorder in one hand. Two pokeballs sit next to him, and a large Dustox flies behind him. Sasha is a black woman with long braids half pulled up into a bun and glasses. She’s holding a statement in one hand, a Rotom floating next to her. Tim is a black-filipino man with short curly hair and piercings, tossing up a pokeball casually as he looks towards the camera. A small Riolu is standing by his ankles. End ID]

I made these over winter break edited from Gen4 pokemon sprites. If you can guess which sprites I used for each one you get a gold star

#martin blackwood #jonathan sims #sasha james #timothy stoker #the magnus archives #tma #pokemon #I actually made these almost a month ago #but i havent made daisy or basira yet and i wanted to do those first #then i realized i was gonna post only these in the first post anyway so.. yeah #You can also see how i got more used to pixel art #martin was the first one i did and sasha was the last one i finished #(speaking of #Sasha and (unposted yet but) melanie were by far the hardest ones to edit #because i had to fix the horrible anatomy the female sprites originally had #i didnt even notice them until i started making these edits #eugh #) #my art #accessible art #Also if you see my tim design fluctuating no you didnt <3

[shoshimakesstuff]

“This was a side of her the officers, at least, had never seen - the leader, the would-be sergeant, sure, but Joan the friend, the jokester, the co-conspirator? It was a new look for a woman they might have said they knew already. Harry, obviously, had no such struggle - she was his classmate, and, it seemed, his friend. He held his hands up in mock surrender.”

THE DARKENING SKY — @mercurygray

#harry & joan brotp 5ever #i can literally hear every line merc writes for harry in his voice #ex. a #'jesus joanie you have to tell me these things' was almost the quote for this #also his entire convo w meehan #work: the darkening sky #also i literally saw the guy with the ladder in the background and went WAR PROFITEERING so. im martin now #also i feel like for all the show didnt really get into just how come at me bro harry was irl it absolutely comes thru in rick's performance #starting w his very first scene #so thank u rick #also i realize this is so so clearly not ocs but let's pretend ok